Limited Alphabet | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #351

welcome to episode 351 of uh this past. weekend thank you. for being alive at this time. and i'm happy to be alive for the most. part and i'm happy to be here with you. that part is definite and um. what's going on man i'm dealing with a. lot of uh. itchery at the house i got you know i. got a bad detergent.

i don't want to call out any shops or. mercantiles but. um 99 cent store. you know y'all gave me some they gave me. some tide. and it's i think tied fresh and easy. i think it's the packaging let me. be sure of that i don't want to send. somebody on a bad route here. tied fresh.

and clean is the item i'm talking about. and i don't know if they just got a hot. batch or something but it's got it's got. me itching. everything and at first i didn't know. what was happening. i didn't know you could have asked me. what's happening i said. look i don't you know i don't know i. don't know. and i was seeing kind of whelps around. my ankles.

you know when i got a little bit of fat. family and uh. sometimes a lot of sugar will gather. around your ankles down in your blood. you know ankles just that that's that. hearty swamp knuckle that's that last. hitter. when you really get down to the ankle. that's really. i mean damn that's the lord's u-turn at. each one of your legs. you know that's where the stream kind of. stops and rebuttals.

so a lot of you know like i said i got. family that's real. got a lot of grits in them if you know. what i'm saying and uh. you know they real you know they hearty. they hearty you crack them up and they. gonna have a couple hearts in them man. you know they hearty and uh and so the. deal is that. a lot of sugar gathers air at that. little turnabout at the ankle.

so anyway i'm thinking maybe i'm you. know i've had some bad uh. chamomile tea or i've had a bad donut or. something. you know maybe i had me a couple you. know i put a little. you know i like ribs i like rib meat and. sometime i put a little too much sauce. on there. so really i'm having sauce and i'm just. eating it with a rib. you know at some point i'm i'm the.

entree is the sauce so i've been there. you know sometime at a barbecue you'll. see me sitting at that last uh. at the last picnic tables and i'm just. dipping a bone in the sauce you know. i'm just going with straight marrow to. mouth honey you know. i'm just hauling sauce man so. um so i thought maybe i'd had too much. sugar i'd had too much barbecue sauce or. it was a condiment that was real. sweet heavy that was making me have too.

much sugar in my body making my ankles. itch. and so i'm trying to adjust my diet and. i keep itching and then. i saw a spider. and so i said oh damn you know. charlotte's webbing this [ __ ] you know. what i'm saying this. this that damn fifth grade reading level. that shit's. you know causing me to act up.

and then i noticed all my dermis on my. legs and um. kind of the top of my ass really are i. don't know what that's called at the top. here. where your ass kind of meets your back. that part started getting bumps a little. wet uh. welts on it or something i said what's. going on. i thought i was getting bit by spiders. so i slept in a different bed. you know i got me a batch of spider.

traps off the internet. and one company i bought them from some. chinese company i. finally opened up the spider trap. because i was kept itching. day after day open up there's nothing in. that [ __ ]. so they're selling out here selling fake. spider traps out here. damn gary v out here whoever it is. out here selling him frank you know them. fake ass arachnid apartments and.

you know i'm thinking these they're out. here. gripping these uh these little climbers. and nothing. and there's nothing you know open four. i'm up there's nothing in that [ __ ] no. poison nothing. hell i could have licked my fingers. after and i'd have been fine so. so anyway just a couple bad purchases uh. so i finally i realized well. um it's maybe it's the detergent.

and what you don't understand is when. you when you when your detergent. is uh faulty or whatever. um or you're allergic to it you have an. allergen allergen. when you have allergen then. everything you you don't realize how. many things have. touched your detergent. your socks pants. pillowcases sheets towels that was the.

one that i kept. you know i'd dry off i bought some. clothes. i went to target bought me a damn batch. of haynes over there. everything top to bottom i mean damn. foot to uh to front piece you know just. hanged up i mean i look like a damn. stunt double on a michael jordan. commercial you know i was just hanging. in the membrane baby you know what i'm. saying we hanged out.

they see me hanging they hating. you know what i'm saying i was real. hanged up and uh. and damn uh. but you don't realize the towel when you. get out the tub you're drying yourself. with the bad detergent. so anyway man i'm at a place right now. i'm having to re-wash everything in my. place. with some damn non-allergen. you know you know real tender detergent.

no homo bruh no bromo no nothing. you know everything's normal and uh. so we got the regular detergent now or. something soft. soft batch baby something you could damn. i mean [ __ ] you give half a cup of this. to a damn toddler i bet. and he'd be fine i don't think there's. even a medical warning on the back of it. so you know i'm upstairs but i'm damn. i'm itching i'm itching while i'm up. there i'm still recovering i'll include.

a couple. photos and images right here right now. of the whelps and just little. you just don't realize how much of your. body is uh. touches detergent or when you hug. somebody i dated a gal in college. for a little bit and her name was i'm. not gonna say her name but it was uh. vanessa was her name. and they called her van and i don't. you know i don't i don't recommend. dating women name. after uh autos.

you know and but anyway i dated this gal. van and she was a real. stocky she was stocky you know what i'm. saying she would damn. she could kind of flex and make her. breasts real hard if you want you know. what i'm saying if you were into that. kind of [ __ ]. and i guess i don't know if i was into. that but i was. you know she she was willing to date me. and so there i was. but anyway what i'm trying to tell you. is and i remember when she would hug me.

the detergent they used was bad. so i remember after we get done making. out or doing sex or. anything like that i'd look like a damn. you know. i'd look like i'd just been in a gang. bang with a damn anteater. you know and he'd been breathing out the. whole time. so. oh whatever man but anyway i'm happy to. be here today with you i really am and. and i'm happy to be alive and i'm happy.

that you're alive and that's where i'm. at. so i just i wanted to come to you. cleanly and let you know where i'm at. today's episode is brought to you by. gray block pizza. 1811 pico boulevard on the way to the. beach. in los angeles grey block get that. hitter. all right let's uh let's see what we're. capable of. [Music]. come on baby.

[Music]. that throwback hitter baby. [Music]. i'm just sitting on your front porch. wondering how could i. be so far from my home. tell them travis and my mind is. somewhere. else but when i find it i'll patch up. where. it's been blown come on.

now i'm just floating on the breeze and. i feel i'm falling. like these leaves i must be. cornerstone. oh but when i reach that ground i'll. share this piece of.

[Music]. closed captioning. [Music]. and that is bishop gunn right there.

and that band they they they discontin. they they couldn't keep it together. you know things happen you know a band. is just a family. that has a skill set. and just like families you know people. get you know somebody's huffing gas. somebody's. you know too big for their britches. somebody's too small for their britches. like my buddy allen i grew up with. you know he i mean he could barely fit.

into a damn uh. child you know he he could barely fit. into a child's pant. praise god brother um. what's going on i'm here you're here and. uh. and we are doing it we're heading into. the fall. and that's a lie actually because it's. august is really that last. gas baby it's that fifth round. of the summer it's that you know it's.

that fifth and final. round of the summer um. what have i been doing man we had a. great episode with uh. with john crist if you're not familiar. if you're not familiar with john you. know he's an interesting. he's an interesting guy. you know he talked about growing up in a. a household they had eight children i. mean damn i you know.

you could run into somebody in the hall. and barely [ __ ] remember who they. are what are you ronald no i'm not. ronald. you know i'm diana well damn you know. grow your hair out. you know eight people i mean it's and he. said they made you take your shoes off. at his house when you got there. all fair he and i were chatting he said. that they had to take their shoes off at. the door. and i'm thinking well sometimes you get. back to the door and you did.

there's damn 16 shoes there and that's. just the children [ __ ] you can put on. two shoes. any type. you know you you're sitting there at. church with a damn sandal and a boot on. and you think you did well it just. you could me you could meet somebody. that that you think is cute or has. attraction. you know visuality really hits your eyes. and you like it. and they could be family and that's. something that's just normal some of. that's.

you get outside of eight i think. anything after seven children man i. don't know i don't. i would never promote incestuality. and i never have you could look at any. chart or any. you know history log. you could look at my damn google log. i've never even looked it up. i guarantee you i would um misspell it. but i think anything outside after seven.

kids man somebody should be allowed to. date. if you got two kids and you're trying to. date that's dude that's dicey. you know what i'm saying you gotta. tighten up man you gotta you know get on. the apps or something. but if you have over seven children and. two of them start you know. at least high fiving each other or. playing this game a lot you know and. really you know. and doing it real heavy uh or late at. night then.

i think you gotta you gotta let that. slide. you know but what do i know. um anyway what are we talking about man. uh. what did i do this weekend well i just. got out of my ice plunge. and i've been in there and um you know. the fella that owns grey block pizza. my friend thomas he make ice plunges now. it's a separate company and uh they sent.

me one of them. and i'll put a video on the clips. channel of my first couple times in. there. and it's real interesting because it. makes your. body feel almost makes your body feel. like it disappears it's so. chilled out that just your head is awake. you know you can't really feel a pinch. or.

you know a small dog could bite you a. damn. not a german shepherd but like a french. shepherd. could bite you you wouldn't even feel it. you know you just wouldn't have that. you wouldn't know so because your body. real chilled out but uh. so i've been in that um. you know i've been dealing with the. detergent issue. and i'm not you know i just will not use.

the brand anymore tied fresh and easy. it ain't easy brother it might be fresh. but it's. you know it's one for two as far as i'm. concerned praise god brother ptl. you know that i'm upstairs. i'll tell you this i watched the fight. oh. i watched the fight this weekend and i'm. going to go on. look corey sandhagen. versus uh tuja dillashaw.

and. look these men are both warriors. you know i i. am not anything like them i. am you know these these are first. class combatists. you know these men have i mean and i you. know. i've suffered from erectile dysfunction. you know these dudes have you know.

i mean they're just damn made out of. viagra it almost seemed like they'll. just. i mean they'll just damn put your lights. out. they got almost like dicks in their arms. you know they're just so. uh virile you know they're warriors the. combatants. um if it were. you know archaic times or robin hood. whenever that was 1600.

you know you'd have san hagen would be. like a he'd be a king or a young king. somewhere. and i think uh tuja would be a uh. he'd be a you know uh. he almost has the villain role to me for. some reason. and i don't know why that is maybe it. could have been his. you know because of the suspension. coming back from the suspension he had. that. you know he's got that um.

[Music]. that's uh he's a little more slytherin. and i'm not you know no shade either of. these men they're both. you know these men would i mean these. men could tie me in a knot with their. damn tongue. you know these fellas would cherry stand. me up. so uh but anyway i'm watching the fight. and. i mean san hagen put that he put he he. hit him in the rafters real early.

you know and he he really clipped him. and got a little bit of blood out of. them. not much but i would say probably half. cup. throughout the whole event quarter cup. maybe. um which might have given you the the. but maybe if you're if if i'm corey san. hagen i have the idea that i'm getting. maybe it gives me the idea that i'm. winning more that i'm it just. visually it looked like that so i could. know that maybe that would have been off. you had you had um san hagen landed more.

strikes you know he hit him with more. opportunities i mean he was just damn. throwing just you know he was out there. like a damn battle bot. now i think the part where it gets. tricky. is that dillashaw is that pressure bear. you know what i'm saying he's that honey. hunter man he's. the second you let him. the second you open that zoo cage he is.

out there mauling people. whereas san hagen is more that sniper. you know he kind of works for the. electric company he'll climb up the pole. and kind of see what's going on and then. he'll. zap you you know. he's really that um you know that's kind. of how he is you know. uh but damn dillashaw's out there. beating the damn uh. diet coke out of a child's hand he don't. you know what i'm saying he's just. he's the mauler so i think.

i could see it visually there's kind of. two different things going on you have. dillashaw controlling. you know we kind of held corey against. the cage he had that control time. you know that time of it was almost slow. dancing almost want him to put a song on. you know put on some garth brooks or put. on a little bit of uh. you know maybe some really slow kodak. black or something if he's ever done a. ballad. or some early uh.

or some early some early jb. you know throw that on but the controls. are like it's just kind of like. i don't know i feel like sometimes. you're just holding somebody there. now i know we did a lot of knees to him. he really kneed him up. you know we need him up like a damn you. know kind of like the way an armless man. would make a damn uh. would kind of prepare a doe or do veal. if you got somebody with no arms the way.

they do veal it's just. you know what i'm saying they need that. damn little animal in a submission. until it's ready to you know be a damn. macaroni grill entree. but i just feel like and and so. you had san hagen uh you had dillashaw. pushed the bout. he pushed about he came at him but i. don't think there's anything wrong with. backing away from a guy to get into the. position that you want the most.

you know if a bee's coming at you. you don't just attack the beat you kind. of reposition yourself. you move around you might circle the. block. you may put a mannequin out there that's. dressed like you and then. sneak around watch the bee see what it's. doing and then come back. at it but. i don't think there's anything wrong. with just reposition yourself if you. look at how what sandy hagan did.

against uh frankie edgar's who i love. dear god man i wish he was my godfather. if i could be. you know if i could climb back in my. mother's vagina and you know email. frankie before i would see if he would. do that for me. but san hagen did that against edgar he. kind of just backed up and moved him. into position. so you have to respect that just because. a guy is kind of retreating. that can be strategy. so i thought it was really close um.

[Music]. i think it's interesting when a sport is. also a business. there's gonna become moments where if. you let it be too close. that the business can. help determine what the future looks. like. and it's a great look for the uh weight. class it's a great look for. ufc um.

you know dillashaw was. you know they kind of it almost felt. like. san hagan had to prove himself more than. dillashaw had to prove himself. so i don't know if some of the judges. went into it with uh you know with that. sort of. mindset in the beginning but i feel like. the outcome was better for the business. and also look what do i know nothing i'm.

a one stripe white belt that hasn't been. in class in almost a month because i. my ribs kept getting fractured by women. and men and women. but um so i think that it was a great. it looks it's great for the business. suddenly you got dylan shaw's back in. there and. uh you know he's back in the in the bout. structure. so you're going to get more fights out. of him san hagen's still young you know. he can you know. he'll be able to meander around in there.

before uh. you know he'll be able to you know you. could. insert him back in for that title shot. whenever. maybe you run it back um. i don't know i just don't see i see how. if i'm the business. if i'm the business i i then i give it. to dylan shaw. but if i'm a judge i side with how. anthony smith said it you know. the lionhearted one he said it after the. show he said. i had it 4-1 uh san hagen's.

and that's how i had it man i had sand. higgins winning. now brennan and child would disagree. with me but. oh well i don't have to agree with him. all the time if i don't want to. or anyone and look i don't know what i'm. talking about. but i believe i know what i saw. and i believe that corey sanhagan did. enough to win. so what else man what else do we have. going on out here in the world uh.

i what else did i do. yeah that john chris episode is just. it's a good one. you know we talked a lot about sex. addiction. and just why. we kind of what. young men or how our early lives shape. how we interact with affection. as we grow older.

um and john was really forthright. talking about his journey and his. struggles and. and sometimes you know we get in the. struggle space where it's like. once you enter the struggle space you. you kind of think everything is a. struggle. and i recognize that you know. sometimes things just are what they are. it's not necessarily a struggle it's not. necessarily.

a uh um. a bonus or a. a bravado or a positive it's just is. what it is. um but it was interesting man we talked. about. the first time you ever eject out of. your body. the first time you let that you know you. let god's trout just kind of fly to your. body out of you. out of your body.

and what that was like and the feeling. from it. you know i think i felt real ashamed the. first time i really just sprayed out. i felt a shame man. i felt excited and fired up i felt like. i had. it's almost like your thumb wrestling. and you really win against yourself and. one of your thumbs is. you know your opinion is your wiener.

body wiener. you know i remember being young and i. found some liquor and some. uh titty mags you know titty. you know literature titty literature. and i was up on this shelving unit i. climbed up there and found me a little. the little jack stack you know my. brother had something. and he'd been touching himself and i. didn't know it. and i shouldn't know it there's only you. know we had four children now if we got. up to seven children.

then maybe we could have started writing. a little note leaving notes for each. other but we was at four children. in our household. and i just remember pleasuring myself. and then. i'd been drinking he had a little bit of. liquor up there cisco. uh strawberry dazzle or something. and it was herb and liquor a lot of you. see a lot of brothers sipping on it. you know older men older older kind of. darker men you'd see them sucking on a. bottle of it over there by the amp. or behind the post office.

and i had that and i lipped down i gum. down two sips of that and next thing you. know i'm pleasuring myself. you know when the lord's neosporin is. just flowing right out of my damn. nuts. and i remember feeling. i mean i felt exalted i felt excited i. felt. but i also remember this feeling kind of.

shame because you had to go and clean it. off my body i had to clean it off of me. and i think i felt a lot of shame i. think. because it really it's a precious metal. man there's no more precious metal. than pure body semen. i don't think and what do i know. you know what i'm saying i'm just an. adult.

but there's no more precious i mean i've. always long. said that it should be on the uh. it should be on the periodic table you. know it's that liquid life i can't. believe. carbon is on there uh. let me look up a periodic element. periodic. element. let me rattle off a couple that are on. here. damn uh.

laurencium who the hell is that. laurencium's on that [ __ ] dubbed him. come on man dubbed him and see him at. semenium on. and on here osmium. iridium dude he played basketball at our. high school. iridium bayham dude come on. so i'm just saying if anything should be. on a periodic table element should be. semen brother. body semen and that's a fact brother.

i mean that's an adult fact so. but anyway if you have a story about if. you want to share about the first time. you ever busted out of your body first. time you ever. you know you really just are you're. taking everything that's in you that's. possible. and just sharing that into the world did. you feel okay do you feel. bad you know the uh. hit the hotline 985-664-9503.

and i'm coming off a rough patch too. i've been. you know i masturbated last night. and so i think i'm feeling. some type of way. and it was the second night in a row for. me. so that's who i am right now. and that's okay i still got up and.

stayed active this morning. i plan on eating lunch i'm taking care. of myself but. riley mal what do you think. i'm joking he's not here would it matter. if he was here. this would be his answer. of course um. what else do we have going on we got um.

yeah if you have a story about that. first bust man that time you brought it. into the world. because once you you know once you uh. once you really crack open that cavern. it's hard to go back. it's hard to roll that rock in front of. that. you know in front of this new. chasm or chasm that you've. created in the world it's hard to close. pandora's box man. you got that spunk stick on you you know.

you got that little fiddle man and you. know how to play it. you got that i want to feel good now. little handle on you. and that's weiner baby that's body. weiner. i want to tell you about this right now. that. mint mobile is something that is good. they offer premium wireless service. starting at just 15 bucks a month. you know i thought what's the catch but. after speaking.

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wireless plan for this 15 bucks a month. and get the plan shipped to your door. for free go to mint mobile.com t-h-e-o. that's mint mobile.com theo cut your. wireless bill to 15. bucks a month mintmobile.com. [Music]. theo you know a lot of people aren't. working right now and. hell it's pissing a lot of people off. you go to i went to home depot. nobody back in the garden jesus i felt. like adam back there.

you know i could have eaten an apple and. damn master you know i could have done. whatever. i wanted touch some titty back there if. i brought something with me. but you know just different you just you. know. nobody's back there jeepers i could have. unleashed a snake and hit an apple back. there and damn re-enacted the bible if i. wanted to. praise god brother but. everyone knows when you're applying to. jobs you're lucky if you make it through. one application before you're ready to.

give up. that's true you're writing this male. female. non-binary no crotch you know. no crotch no homo no uh. no nothing you know ghost that's gonna. be an option soon. well the ladders new apply for me. service. is a game changer it's a number one job. search site. for six figure jobs if you want that big.

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the ladders l-a-d-d-e-r-s dot com. slash t-h-e-o to sign up that's the. ladders l-a-d-d-e-r-s dot com slash. theo to sign up today. and i'm enjoying me a liquid death right. there man. yeah hit the hotline if you have a good. story about how you. you know or just what you felt like the. first time you really.

made pleasant with yourself. first time you ever really kind of took. your little wiener on a date with your. hand. when you did that dirty dance with that. poem. when you made it you know made a little. batch of palm salad. you know what i'm saying tell us about. that. 985-664-9503 is the hotline. and as always bless everybody praise god. um what else man we had some great calls.

that came in. and some great videos i want to. introduce you first so to a couple. fellows i'm really enamored with. and you're gonna see these fellas right. here and these fellas have down syndrome. and some of you may not believe in down. syndrome i'm not here to debate that. you know i beat it when i was young and. they said. the doctor in our town dr henry.

he said i beat it and so i've always. felt indebted to the. community i've always. you know when a lot of people with that. have ds will see me they know. they i think they know i'm one of those. cusp riders you know. that i have it in me. to be very similar to them and if you. haven't seen these fellas on uh. on tick-tock this is uh called get down.

with. s m and s. m is a different it's not like sexual. this is uh. down syndrome cooking let's chime in one. time beautiful young men too and i think. they're brothers. or cousins maybe you do some. chickens. first you've got some this.

and you can see the fellas are right. here they're putting uh. chives or something on a cutlet. and my god it's beautiful man they're in. a nice kitchen if you haven't seen two. and they're asian fellas too a little. couple little bobby lee's if you haven't. seen a couple ds out bobby lee's put. chives on a uh. on a cutlet man you're missing out and. these fellas are beautiful.

and one of them smelled his hand at the. end and that's a. that's nature baby and here's one right. here. oh when they licking the uh the little. rudders the. um they're licking the cake batter. spinners remember mom used to have that. thing she would fold it back and put. those two little spannered.

little dragon arms in the deal and then. they she. turn it off wow. i don't know what it is it's too. beaters beaters and you can see these. fella licking the beaters man. a couple beautiful little bobby lee's. over here licking these beaters couple. stevie lees man and these guys are. they're pretty jacked obviously these. guys are on pre-workout or something.

and these guys are beautiful handsome. guys. and uh they also have down syndrome but. they're cooking. and so it's just beautiful to see what. you could do with different uh. you know if you have if you're missing a. couple you know a little bit of your. municipalities how you can still make a. hors d'oeuvre or do something beautiful. and do a dessert. [Music].

oh yeah little danny going in on his be. on his beater man he looked that thing. about 15 times baby heavy. he real tongue heavy oh marley is one of. his names shawn and marley. oh yeah oh he put the whole thing in his. mouth at the end. whoa whoa whoa man and that's really you.

gotta have eight children to be doing. that kind of thing at the house bubba. but hey. it's real fearless man you know it's. real fearless so if you want to see some. good cooking with those beautiful guys. shawn and marley on tick-tock. and i ended up in the down syndrome and. in the uh autism. cycle a lot of things that get put into. my tick-tock i'm in that algorithm. so that's where i'm at you know what i'm. saying i'm upstairs. baby praise god man we'll watch one more.

where they wash their hands it really is. real cute. early. [Music]. oh he said he needs a hand with the uh. with the falafel mix and shawn is uh. went to wash his hands so they have some. miscommunication. [ __ ] that was the hate yeah not wash.

your hands sean. don't do it okay beautiful right there. man that's awesome. good to see that man what else we got uh. another video was sent in here that's a. tick-tock a. fight on spirit airlines let's go. uh-oh no. don't do that she trying to bring. somebody with him. [Applause].

to urban women and they like to fight. you know that and they're out here about. to get at it. there they go oh it's lit. it's lit it's lit. it's lit. some fella got in a lot of hair pulling. a lot of ass a lot of thick ass being. [Music]. she didn't put her.

and there you go right there and this. kind of stuff i mean. uh this the kind of [ __ ] it's like when. does it end. you know why people can't figure out how. to be okay. in society you know. and this is all too common black people. love to fight. in kind of like. outside the ring i feel like.

you know black people are not afraid to. fight anywhere that's. really what i'm saying they'll fight. wherever. i think other cultures mexican people. they fight more like in a car. wash or in a boxing ring. white people i think more fight like in. a courtroom. or sometimes outdoors like on a porch. but spirit airlines really has become. the bellator. of uh.

of kind of like for the urban community. in the sky. it's become the bellator of the sky i. think that. um now i look i had to fly spirit one. time god bless man. and i saw two dogs go at it. two people had dogs i don't know if this. was sanctioned or what but then [ __ ]. started throating at each other. praise god man so just stay safe out. there if you're on spirit.

i think just wear a jersey wear an. atlanta hawks jersey wear something that. kind of blends in you know uh. but know that. you could be near a scuffle i think. and that's spirit bro amen that's spirit. we had a lot of people calling with. their last words. last episode solo episode excuse me. we talked about what the last words. would be.

you know if you had that you know you. want to die somewhere decent so you have. some last words and here's some people. yo theo vine this is benedict from. berlin calling about. last week's podcast last words. benedict from berlin baby thank you for. calling sir. in berlin man that's really that uh. you know berlin is a good place i think. to listen to some damn billy idol and.

and spray paint a building baby praise. god let's hear more. i'm a huge uh johnny guitar watson fan. so uh i gotta quote his last words. apparently last. words in tokyo japan. last show he died on stage and his last. words were. ain't that a [ __ ]. amen there you go fresh out of berlin. right there fella hitting us with some. last words ain't that a [ __ ].

i like that ain't that a [ __ ]. because it is man you know life is just. it's just it's another it's a [ __ ]. after a [ __ ] after a [ __ ]. here's a [ __ ] there's a [ __ ] ever. where's a [ __ ] [ __ ]. it's this [ __ ] this [ __ ] and i'm not. talking feminine i'm talking just. anything you know. a dog bites you you know a bad detergent. gets sold to you. you know somebody you know somebody whip.

and weave out on spirit airline you know. it's just. it never ends it's bad [ __ ] central out. there. and that's life it's really just. managing bad [ __ ]. that's all it is so thank you for that. ain't that a [ __ ] here's a couple more. that came in here's one. t-o gang gang this is your boy bamboo.

from connecticut and bamboo. and that's a very uh that's a taut wood. baby. you know something like teak is more. malleable. but bamboo out of connecticut and you. obviously your family's got to be either. real rich or real poor to name their. child after a. uh asian forest would i think. good to hear from you boo i was just. calling. about the whole last words deal i know.

riley mount was struggling. uh trying to figure out his last words. so. riley mouse struggles to figure out his. first words you know. the fella it's it's tough to see. that asian community is really kind of. they're sputtering it's all. you know everybody's sputtering. really i think i speak for a lot of us. out there i would say. uh my last words uh would be delete my.

browser history. you know trying to have my memory intact. as i shade out you know what i mean. thank you bubby okay. gang baby you're right the last thing i. want them to see is uh. you know the naughty things that i've. googled or looked for. you know and it's sad man i mean i got. the blockers on my phone for the. pornography. but i found a loophole through twitter. so i'm out there sometime on per you.

know perv city and perv support. and it just oh man the shame the shame. the depletion. just blowing your little you know just. blowing your nut nose. into a little handkerchief or into a dam. and just washing it down the drain dear. god. anyway bamboo i hope you're doing well.

out there brother. i hope you're doing well bamboo oh my. neighbor has a dog named bamboo as well. so cool to hear it cool to hear the name. again i like hearing it. bamboo all right let's hear another one. that came in here we go. hey what's up ceo this is ryan down in. south georgia. dennis sojou huh south georgia baby. and it gets a little rural out there it.

gets a little interesting you head down. towards jacksonville. you know you see a lot of people down. there getting a little rural. a lot of people you know limited. alphabet you'll see a 20-letter alphabet. down there like damn. you know you show up with a w they don't. know what you're talking about. you show up with an r they they shocked. let's hear more calling about what would.

my last words be. yeah you probably have to play on to the. timing but. i'd probably say like i. hit the billion dollars and uh. that's it i'm out cold the whole family. is just left. like dang where's this money at. okay so you tell you you give half a. clue i hid to me i hid this you know. your real father is that would be a good.

one if you had children stunt them a. little. your real father. you know i was molested by the postman. something like that. give a clue to something. i like that it's interesting i hid the. million though. if you now if you have a structure of a. life where you your family's gonna. believe that. but if you're living in a four-door. sedan.

you know and you accidentally park in a. garage and you keep the. thing on and you know the gas gets you. and you lunged out on that carbon. monoxide. if you're dying from carbon monoxide man. and you tell your kid i hid the million. dollars i'm like you're a [ __ ]. deadbeat the kid's not gonna. fully believe you so you need. believability that's what that one's. missing. let's hear another one the last one here. we go thank you for uh these as well. what up theo this is bo uh calling in.

about my last words i think if i'm being. real. realistic it's probably just going to be. [ __ ] you know. on my way out as i get stabbed or shot. you know everyone's gonna just throw out. a [ __ ] and then you're lucky if you get. something else out after that. i don't know what do you think gang baby. i. you know that's interesting because of. cause. sex is what got us into the world. and i would bet you're right i bet eight.

out of ten times the last word is [ __ ]. a refu ck i don't want to say it that. much but f-u-c-k. and you know what i'm saying. so that's was the irony of it all it. took somebody doing sex to even get you. to exist. and now you're on your way out and. that's the last thing you're saying.

is full circle baby. it's a dirty roundabout. it's that ankle. you flow in you flow out. being alive we got a beautiful single. mom nomination we're going to get to in. just a second i got to let you know that. uh. this summer get the most out of your. travels abroad by learning the language. of your destination with. babel babel babel.

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and use promo code theo. don't you want to babble in no no. new languages well you can that's. babel.com use promo code theo. thank you for supporting this podcast. also you know if you need help. no there's not always a way to get it. near you. you know i called up the other day i. finally called a friend and said hey i. need some help i need some help.

amen it even it brought tears to my eyes. even saying it just saying it. voicing that into the world i need. help well better help. is there that's right better help. help you can start communicating with. them. quickly in under 48 hours there's a. broad range of therapists and counselors. available. which may not be locally available if. you live in the woods if you the. you know you the smith family robinson.

or whatever. better help is committed to facilitating. great therapeutic matches so they make. it easy and free to change counselors if. needed. better help want you to start living a. happier life today. visit betterhelp.com theo. that's b-e-t-t-e-r-h-e-l-p. and join the over 1 million people who. have taken charge of their mental health. with the help of an experienced. professional in fact so many people have. been using better help.

they are recruiting additional. counselors in all 50 states wow. this podcast is sponsored by betterhelp. and this past weekend listeners get 10. off their first month at betterhelp.com. theo i want to let you know that. a lot of shows on sale you can get. tickets theovonne.com tour. i think we might rock with the return of. the rat baby that's the tour name i'm. thinking of. and that feels kind of good and. and the rat is always returning you know.

it. you know if you want a dose if you want. to set some cheese in the yard baby you. know. i'll be there and you know where to find. me. i'm upstairs gang. always we want to do something nice for. a single mom i want to thank our patreon. supporters as well we have a very small. patreon but we are very mighty. and i just feel grateful to be part of a.

process of. just trying to think of somebody. different than myself and we got this. nomination video came in right here. hey theo this is remy i'm calling you. from ottawa canada. remy up there canadian and remy i'm not. sure if that's just part of a name or. not. maybe jeremy and i don't know what the. exchange rate is on names but. he'll i'll spot you a jer buddy if you. need one. that's what we do down here bye-bye.

onward i want to nominate my friend. louise who's a single mom living in. slokan valley british columbia. she's got four kids two of them have. autism one who doesn't buddy you know. and i'm not saying that judgmentally. thank you for saying that. but everybody has it now i swear you. know you can't even meet it. you couldn't find nine people that don't. have autism if i gave you probably 14. minutes onward bubba thank you. the kids has cystic fibrosis and she. just pours.

everything into these kids man she's. been homeschooling them since. before the pandemic she put so much work. into making sure they're. they're eating healthy and staying. active and uh. it's just been hard the last you know. year kind of watching her struggle with. the isolation of the pandemic and. we all are kind of struggling with. depression right now but it's just been. so. hard watching someone who works so hard. to make the life her kids happy. you know also kind of feel sad.

and kind of isolated so i think i don't. know anyone who would deserve. the chance to just treat herself and do. something fun with her kids so. yeah man you're the best gang gang gang. brother thank you man. that's really sweet of you and everybody. is. everybody is having some effects from. this pandemic. from the isolation that's really the big. thing. more people are the effects from. the isolation from coven.

and the separation. will are. are so much bigger than anything. i believe that this covet itself could. ever do. um but let's give a call to her let me. see if he said her name. hey theo this is remy i'm calling you. from ottawa canada.

i want to nominate my friend louise. who's louise. and i'm from louisiana so that's a. perfect mix right there man. yeah let's see if we can't give a call. to louise right now. hey louise hi hey how are you. i'm good how are you good i'm not a. creep or anything i just. i am calling i work at a podcast my name. is theo. and i work at a podcast and. every so often we do we have people will.

submit. a friend or someone they know who is a. single mom we do something for single. moms it's kind of nice. and you have a friend named remy who i. think just thinks that you're just. a special gal and really admires you. um so he submitted you for our single. mom nomination. yeah he told me it was a surprise he's. been very um. cryptic about this well we are a cryptic. bunch here at this podcast i will say. that. so that's pretty normal um.

but he just said he really admires you. you know he said that you have. he said you do you do home school and. you have four children you guys home. schooled up there. yeah yeah we i i'm in uh bc southern bc. and i. homeschool my four kids and we we have. sheep and. ducks and we're pretty kind of living. off the. we're just kind of wild wild people yeah. that sounds pretty cool is it i bet the. kids love being around the animals huh.

uh yeah like yeah not as much as i had. hoped i only just got to you but. we have always had like dogs i have a an. acreage so. the intention was when i bought it years. ago that we would. um well i thought i'd do more farming. but. then i kind of did the whole kid thing. and and now i. i do sort of an unschooled um. homeschooling so we don't do any like. set. classes per se they just.

sort of run wild but in in like a. healthy awesome way. yeah wow that sounds awesome. do they you i live in nashville and. and i i'm in nashville right now. okay so we just operate out of nashville. and out of los angeles but um. but yeah sometimes i like it almost. sounds like summer camp does it feel. like that a little bit. yeah yeah it totally does we um people. come and hang out and.

and they're sort of like they're like on. holiday and my kids are like but this is. every day. they're pretty much barefoot all the. time and. they just dig in the woods and it's so. interesting because we have i have. um my daughters they're almost 13 and so. she has friends. her one very close friends in toronto. her cousin and she goes to a. like a an academic very academic private. school. and they hang on the summer and you know. you wouldn't know one has gone to like.

through the whole. super academic in how they converge or. how they talk i mean they know different. things sure but. my dog knows things that she doesn't. know and and she knows things that. mata doesn't know but you neither feel. like they know. less or more you know like they don't. know anything compared to the other. right yeah that sounds pretty. fascinating it's almost like an. experiment in some ways. that's what remy told me his phd and i. was like man i always wanted to do more. but. you know this is this is what i'm doing. now and he's like you're living the. experiment.

yeah it sounds pretty magical i think. they must be really proud of you is it. is it uh it must be really does it feel. kind of empowering or does it feel. exhausting to have to be like the. teacher and the mom and everything kind. of. no i would say empowering i mean. sometimes it's it's a lot. sometimes but it's a lot i would say in. a good way especially as they get older. and you can really see. the things that i had hoped would happen. are happening you know when they're. toddlers and you're like god i hope this. is going to work out. i know and all these other people are. doing different things they're like i.

don't know that's totally going to be. bad. because my kids don't they didn't learn. to read early. and and my daughter as i say now she's. 13 and she's reading you know. all the big thick you know teen books. whatever from the libraries and. everything and. but she didn't learn to read until she. was 10 and the people that were just. breathing down. like she's not gonna learn to read and i. was like no i've done my research and. this is gonna work and. and she got she reads perfectly she. reads brilliantly and she has no baggage. about that she didn't learn to read when. she was. six or five or four or anything and.

so it's it's it's empowering when it. works it it's kind of a little bit scary. when. when you're doing it and you're like. well i hope this is gonna work. yeah i bet dang that's cool though i'm. glad to see i'm glad to hear that it's. working out uh. it really sounds like yeah it sounds. like. um fun it is but you know it is it is. it's it is you have to i feel like to. really embrace it you have to be pretty. um just have fun with them like i kind.

of just. they just kind of do what they want i. i'm not relaxed like and we live up near. a river so we go swimming all the time. like we walk over to the river and we. swim and you and i know my kids think. i'm really casual because. they don't wear life jackets and they. can all swim and they're swimming the. currents it's a strong current i mean. it's not why but it's. but the other day my one son he's eight. and he wasn't paying attention and he. just got swept a bit farther down. and then i was like get it and his. sister pulled him and it was. like it was fun i would have gone and. got him but he sort of was then. horrified that i kind of like.

actually came down on him because most. of them i don't like i don't get that. we i i live by a philosophy we have very. few rules but the rules we have. are absolute you know you don't ever but. pretty much everything else you know. we're like you can bend on those things. right i don't. force many things but. it was kind of a wake-up call and then i. think he maybe was a little bit more. aware that i'm not. actually as casual as i appeared i think. well i think some people you know the. overprotective well yeah.

it's a podcast please can you take. liverpool. [Music]. he's talking to me like i'm on a podcast. hey what's up. yeah okay hi nope. rebecca can you take libby i can't okay. i gotta walk here no worries.

it's like a podcast guy he's talking to. me where do y'all live at. like what is it this isn't actually our. home. we're out of friends right now because. we live in well actually our home kind. of looks like this. we live in the kootenays in bc british. ponbia. but we're actually on our way to a. family cottage. um in ontario on the great lakes. dude you guys are gonna have a blast. that's cool i'm in transit.

right now so you kind of caught us at a. funny time but we're actually. paused for the day to take a break. before we go on so. i don't know why so we're at a friend's. house for the day but their house is. actually. um we've never been here before but it's. surprisingly similar to ours. well it's a small world well we just. wanted to share with you that remy was. thinking about you and that we were. thinking about you we try to do. something nice to support single moms. uh just because we just think it's um. you know it's just such a it's a neat.

position. and um so we wanted to send you a. thousand bucks it's just us dollars i. don't know if they're worth anything. but we seriously yeah we just wanted to. send it to you. so you could uh just go do something fun. with the kiddos um. oh my god really wow yep and that's it. there's no uh. there's no strings attached uh. um that's that's amazing uh and oh and. remy i'm supposed to be telling you that. remy. has a surprise for you because i tan.

sheepskins. and he's going to send you a sheepskin. from me oh nice. from him y'all got some fresh sheep i. have some. yeah i have sheep and so that will kind. of be in the fall. okay oh i look forward to that we would. like to have a little bit of sheep in. here. yeah well sheepskin is the best it's. it's healthy and you can it keeps you. cool in the summer and hot in the winter. and. oh i'll eat off of it if it's nice. um i mean off the inside i'm not eating. off the hairy side but um.

but anyway yeah we just wanted to let. you know that we were thinking about you. we're just always trying to. just be a part of um i don't know we're. just trying to be a part of people's. lives if we can in just kind of like a. simple way here and there and and so. that's it. we just wanted to let you know that remy. was thinking about you and now all of. our audience will be thinking about you. and it's really interesting to hear that. there's kind of this. this wild little family out there that's. just figuring it out in the world it's. really. i don't know it sounds exciting it is.

exciting and. they're pretty they're pretty awesome. kids they're the most polite. when you meet them not so much at home. but they're they they got to figure it. out they're pretty cool. well i bet they're proud of you and we. are. um so thank you so much for your time. today and i hope you'll have a good day. yeah thank you okay louise you all be. safe in y'all's travels. okay thank you okay bye-bye bye. wow what a fascinating time you know.

what a fascinating thing to be like. almost uh. we're just talking about smith family. robinson. and here they are you know. just interesting that people are doing. it people are figuring out ways. you know people are figuring out ways to. manage humans and sheep at the same time. and that's remarkable and it's inspiring.

you know really listening to her and. just seeing kind of her little world. there is inspiring. um it's interesting. you know i think and those are the. things that i have to remember that are. going on. that people are just getting things done. and that there's a lot of cool. good stuff happening out in the world. and um and we have a photo here for kids. it's. really really adorable i think we can. get it into the episode as well so if.

you're watching on the youtubes you can. see it. and they're doing well living. beautifully out there in the middle of. nowhere. it looks like or i don't know nowhere. but i mean. it's canada you know so it's i mean who. knows if it's real i think you almost. have to be. you know you have to take a flight out. of your dreams almost i feel like to get. there to some of these places but. anyhow remy thank you so much for the. submission and uh. thank you everybody for supporting the. podcast i got to get out of here i'm.

going to get some nad in my arm i've got. this new they have a new. supplement type of thing it's not drug i. mean it's a natural chemical. which is an oxymoron of a statement. right there natural chemical. but i mean it's lysol that's what i'm. saying it's ivermectin it's uh. who knows what it is i don't know what. it is but i'm about to let them shoot it. in my arm for an hour. but anyway um just wanted to say thank. you guys for the support. thank you guys for being a part of this. past weekend.

and uh i hope you'll be good to. yourselves because um. you deserve it we'll go out the way that. we came in man. listening to a little bit of bishop gun. and my mind is somewhere else but when i. find it i'll patch up where it's been. blown. now i'm just floating on the breeze and. i feel i'm falling. like these leaves i must be.

cornerstone. oh but when i reach that ground i'll. share this piece of mind i found i can. feel it in my. but it's gonna take a little. time for me to set that parking brake. and let myself go.

i'll sit and tell you my story. [Music]. and now i've been moving way too fast on. the runaway train with a heavy load of. my.

hands. and these rails that i've been riding on. they want so thin that they're damn. they're. now they just.