Kyle Dunnigan | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #348

today's guest is really just a patented. individual. this man is a patented style. of creative and and i think if god could. have patented him he would. and uh and so i'm just so happy to hear. i'm so happy to have him here today he's. already making me laugh and he's not. even here. yet um but uh he has so many great. characters. you have to check out his youtube. channel we will put it below. as the first link uh for you to please. go and check out. um you know him from his uh fresh prince.

of dc. uh on youtube his craigs news live from. the trying to sing the song currency um. you know from his impersonations of the. jenners. and the daddy mama and whoever i can't. remember. caleb jenner and um all of those people. and what i'm telling you are the. kardashians what i'm telling you today. is we have mr. kyle donegan.

sit and tell you my stories. [Applause].

yeah we probably have similar kind of. maybe genetic hair products yeah well. you're from uh i think from the same. type of uh. community from louisiana no i mean old. country. community like uh oh yeah uh. english area italian. is this you we have polish nicaraguan. but really. yeah okay it's different somebody [ __ ]. on a boat probably. to get me yeah yeah yeah that's not. really a land animal but.

um it's a strong um mix though. yeah i don't know if it's good hey kyle. can i have you pull the mic a little bit. closer. yes we do we kind of do a soft start. we're rolling so. yeah and well i like to soft open. yeah mm-hmm you relate. i'm a never late by the way are you. really yes like i. am upset i'm late and i when when i was. younger my mother was. was like the bus is coming.

up screaming every morning we never were. late but. i have it in me if i'm going was it. really coming. yeah eventually but we never were late. right you know what i mean like she was. we'd have 40 minutes and she'd screamed. this that the bus yeah. because when the bus would when it left. she would have to drive. us this way but she never did because. she was. a panicked person and you were out there. now did your mother have extreme. was she like one of those extreme. panicky people yeah her anxiety is. through the roof and.

it's really affected me to be honest. with you if we're gonna get honest on. this podcast. did your mother breastfeed you no. everything wrong. also as a cesarean which makes you a. social wreath. oh sociopath yeah oh you came out the. belly uh-huh. uh-huh my friend was breech birth out. the belly i'm like how do you even do. that. no i don't think that's that's the thing. oh he did it no but i don't think. you get breached birthed out you're a. breech birth.

and then you get out the belly kid allen. did it yeah they said it i mean. everybody knew it his mom everybody just. kept saying it. and nobody ever said it about anybody. else so i would imagine you did it and. he seemed like the guy that did it dude. i didn't get oxygen for for a long time. and i came up purple and they put me in. a um. incubator and the doctors prepared my. parents that this one may not. you know be mentally well and i have a. theory i think. i i think i was born i think i was like. a genius. and then i got a little [ __ ] and now.

i seem. like average intelligence yeah i mean. like gene. tarted exactly i like that exactly yeah. man i could see that in you man because. you definitely really. i could see you there's some doctor. walking over to your parents with like a. shoe empty shoe box. you're like hey you might want to put. some hay in this thing you know yeah. he's gonna like that. yeah and i didn't show bad signs when i. was younger like i would. just fly a kite for hours and just with. my tongue out. and i i was very focused on things oh.

um i think i i probably was asked burger. or something no one tested you back then. they just were like he likes to stare at. kites or he likes to play with string or. whatever. right yeah yeah and i would just uh. like plank on the piano just for hours. like just listening to the uh. so little d flat the neighbors called. you. yeah yeah that's it yeah and then that's. wild so your mom was yelling for the bus. and what were you got who was in the. house. she still fills me with uh with a lot of.

anxiety. everything everything is like she's. defusing a bomb like you have to put the. thing in. like that everything so i have a very uh. solid trigger to being late which i'm. sorry i'm late i don't like being late. and i was very anxious to hold right. over and i sped i sped past a cop that's. where i was. at mentally they don't care anymore. unless you are literally driving by. shooting people oh yeah the ca i feel. like they're not stopping. anyone i know i know cops my brother's a. cop busy really.

and i mean the way this whole thing is. set up. how you gonna risk your your life and. your career. by you know he was telling a story some. some guy was like it was his. uh i shouldn't even say never mind. because it wasn't it was. they like someone's very illegal and. they just let him go they're just like i. can't. even right the black and white thing is. so intense it's like i gotta just not be. involved in this. oh if you're doing black crime you are. free to get yourself. it's yeah you can run into any you can.

do any it's like. that's what it feels like because if. somebody records it then. they're suddenly you're the bad guy oh. yeah and they get like a certain amount. of. of the recording and then you're just. fired immediately but also. you these guys cops just defend cops for. five minutes oh totally. they imagine a job where you go where. people are being [ __ ]. all day like they're being [ __ ] over. here and you go there and they're. they're. they yell at you and they spit on you. yeah they're like okay that's finished.

now there's these other people being. [ __ ] go over there yeah and that's. the. and then 20 years of that here's what. they what they need. not you know they need 20 minutes of. therapy. mandatory and uh oh we got a camera move. we used to be a peeping tom also we. don't talk about nick yeah he has like a. silent premature baby. is that right yeah me too yeah. oh yeah that brain but anyway this. should be a group there's got to be a. facebook group huh. adult yeah definitely i'm just wondering.

about. the the effects of it and what they were. on man they gotta be heavy dude it's. like you ever take a cake out of the. oven like a few minutes early. and then the oven breaks and you can't. do any more bacon of it. yeah all the time and you guys have to. eat that kind of like crater cake you. know. although and that's that example i mean. cookie like fake. cake batter is like a flavor at um some. ice cream parlors you know it's. delicious even. uncooked yeah but it's just like humans. some people chocolate some people. vanilla some people uh.

got the sprinkles in them gay men or. whatever you know the. fun fatty guy rum raisin yeah you know. paul newman loved rum raisin i worked at. this uh. haagen-dazs store in westport. connecticut he'd come in every now and. then. only guy who would get the rum raisin. wow you know paul newman kids don't even. know paul newman is anymore they think. he's that he they think he's a uh. condom or you know maybe yeah. it's a word but well anyway my childhood. was tracked my mother would film my room. with clowns that's another thing she did.

to me well i wanted to. i want to know more about a little bit. of this birthing in the breastfeeding. specifically before we move on. because my mother had small breasts dude. and i remember i almost remember. trying to get milk out of it and there's. nothing in it there's no way you. remember that. i think i cuz sometimes i swear to god. kyle. sometimes i will kind of lay down and go. like this and it makes me. i almost feel like it's dinner time you.

know like it's like. i almost remember being i know it sounds. crazy. it's not like a real memory like some. girl at a bar was like i remember being. eight months old like it's not like that. it's like a genetic. recon uh it's like a genetic it's like a. ghost in my body that comes to the. surface of my skin. when i do this like a ghost that has an. idea. that happened a long time ago what how. old were you when you stopped maybe. that's uh. when i stopped breastfeeding yeah maybe. you were 11. no no no i was younger than that i don't.

remember. but i don't ever remember seeing my. mother's breasts. past four or five and i remember. you remember seeing them yeah you can in. your mind imagine what your mother's. nipples look like and know what they are. i wouldn't say know what they are i. remembered them i think as a. feeding domicile kind of thing but do. you remember what your mother's nipples. look like. i don't ever really ever saw them i. never saw my mouth nipples.

no even as you got a little older. especially. oh kyle your mother would be uh. nude around the house i saw my friend's. mom's boobs a lot. my friend's mom would just walk in buck. naked and and i. like there was 13 when you're really. interested you know. dude my friend scott's mom walking down. the hall in front of me one time. dropped something or the lord took it. out of her hand and said it on the. ground. for you yeah bro she bent over to pick.

it up and had. no underpants on oh my god and i was. like i'm coming over here again. and that's when they didn't clean things. up down there oh it was oh. it was definitely it was just like you. prefer that now because. the first time you get sexualized you. usually are into that. like certain people who you know were in. defeat like they saw. feet when they first got sexually awoken. or they um. you know had someone we we know somebody. who like their one of the first. experiences was a girl told. him to masturbate in front of her a girl.

told him. yeah and that was like his first sexual. first sexual experience. locks in your brain i know and then for. the rest of your life you're chasing. that dragon. so did you have that with do you now. like it. um that not not groomed. oh no i i i i will say this. the first time i ever masturbated was on. a shelving unit. because i climbed up this shelving unit. my brother had some magazines up there. crack them open they had a can of uh.

mint julep liquor yeah and uh. cracked that thing open too and so i'm. sitting on this shelving unit dude on. the top. wait i'm sorry like that like like a. shelf like that. that's a shelving unit it was metal. though it was like one of the metal ones. with the cross with those cross straps. in the back going up the x's kind of. there's a metal and you were up on it oh. yeah and you're on the top 13 or 12. yeah i was probably about 11 or 12. and. i got that nudie mag i think it was.

called. like bust or odor or something like a. french one. swank and i got yeah something like that. swank. uh rub or something you know just. something like. i don't think rub is one i'm sure it's. one i don't think. if not working with it dude it'll be. premature babies. yes that was kind of it wait that would. make so much noise and not be at all. stable for you. to uh oh that's part i think that's what. goes into it for me honestly why did you. just take the magazine down and go.

somewhere else i mean that's so. that was our question because it was in. my brother's closet. so it was already like the most remote. place i could be for. parents or anybody could you come down. for a minute why did you be at the top. of the master. because that's where i got it and i. think i was just so in that i was there. does that image do a little something. when you see it. that's what i was gonna say when i'm. gonna buy a [ __ ] if i'm by like an old. like a. i don't want to say a poor shelving unit. but like the poor kids had them it was. the style that poor people had i can't.

so when you're in like a marshalls you. might come across that and things and i. really do it like makes me want to climb. back up there like almost my arms will. start going like that. uh-huh but i remember ejaculating up. there for the first time. yeah you never forget that. oh i was i couldn't believe it. i was like where where what it is a. moment where you you're. you don't even know what happened uh. it's like. what's going on you think you're gonna. die you don't know what's gonna happen.

you don't know if you're about to win. something yeah. and it's coming from like i mean it's. your like genetic. like it's like the dinosaur in you yeah. you know it's like that dirty reptile. it's like here's some billion year old i. mean you see uh. it's in all of us uh all animals and. also with the breastfeeding. i saw this monkey they reunite with its. mom you know after whatever. and i just knew to find her nipple and. it's just all. genetically coated in us that's why i.

think we're very much. much more machines than we think um the. free will. uh and that's who we are a lot of it. we're on a uh. some sort of code don't you feel like. we're sort of. your behavior is a lot of it like that. exactly is coded in and i think there's. a lot more stuff we would think about. so do you think we have a lot of free. will no i i don't. i actually sam harris has a book about. it and he totally right he does not. believe there is. and i it freaks you out here's why also. i think you need to put a lot of um.

weight into what he's saying is because. you don't want to believe it it's like. heaven a lot of people believe in heaven. yeah. because you want to believe it when. there's so much evidence there isn't. heaven. well i wouldn't say that well what about. this. okay the idea highway to it there. oh nice that was a great movie dude it. was. it yeah that show was great but but. listen if you got uh let's see at. amnesia. okay okay a little blood gets taken away. from your brain for a bit i believe it. and now you can't remember your family. or who you are all right are you telling.

me you take all the blood out of your. brain you're dead you. suddenly remember everybody what is that. and they go oh that's the soul. where's your you know the soul when. you're alive wait what happens i don't. have any blood. yeah you have like if you're dead you. have no blood okay. i mean nothing's running through your. brain right when you had amnesia you. didn't remember anything how do you now. remember everybody and yourself. how is that possible what's your dad you. mean like when you go to heaven you. remember your family. yeah and you're like yeah you don't. exactly but most people believe in. heaven because they want to believe it. which is getting back to free will most.

people. including myself and i had to put the. book down because it's disturbing. because he puts a very good case. together about how we don't have free. will and it's a white guy. it is a white guy unfortunately it's a. white guy no i still believe i look i. believe honestly mostly white guys. if i'm real honest with myself yeah and. like i mean i believe other people as. well but. when i think about people that i believe. like. about a lot of stuff a lot of them are. white i believe like a cat.

casual guy i i i just go by tells. you know touching the face if someone. touches their face when they talk to you. yeah especially on like a moment that's. important if you ask someone a point of. question. and they go no i didn't do that they lie. that's a lie. biggest hell is the touch face is it. really part of it's actually. um biological like you actually get. blood taken away from your face when you. lie you feel guilt or whatever. so it becomes a little itchy and you. kind of want to like no but it's also. just like you're trying to cover your.

mouth a little bit. right trying to hide the truth because. you believe you're an honest person so. you're just like. it's like a cognitive dissonance you're. just you. you have a little brain flash also. there's microaggressions. yeah someone will make a quick. expression if you catch it. say and that's all in sam harris book no. this is other stuff. oh but so you so going back to free will. yes sometimes i i wonder if. and now we're so getting programmed by. stuff it's like. that our free will whatever little we. have it's almost like um.

there's so many dog whistles out there. now yeah you know like just with the. internet. and just you know the advertising yeah. it's like it's so hard to. battle it yeah you're getting programmed. and you also your. your thoughts come from your. subconscious you know and then you think. you thought your thought but you didn't. it just kind of. popped into your head you notice it but. see now then. but then here's and you you're actually. a great case for this because you're. like a very. interesting guy man and so i. you're one of the few people in the.

world that i see. where i'm like oh this guy has unique. thoughts and ideas. so it's interesting that you would kind. of. go with that because i feel like that. doesn't really define. you really do you think it does no i. think i'm just a product of. my mother screaming at me as we've. covered yeah. um things in my childhood where uh you. know there's some. underwear pulled up higher than it. needed to be in the back on men or women.

on myself oh really by others or by. others. you know some little bullying and then. there was like were you bullyable. i was very tiny i was miniature for so. long and i really liked girls. you know you get that age where you want. to be being tall. is so important when you're in like. seventh grade dude there's nothing. crazier than some little guy that wants. to [ __ ] everyone. yeah you don't want to talk but i was. like oh here we go look at him. yeah look at that he's holding his dick. yeah. he's just yeah he's playing a big dick.

but he's just pointing his dick at the. end. and it looks bigger because he's so tiny. oh yeah it's crazy. yeah and then i was voted class clown i. cried oh you cried. and they found out about it i i cried i. mean i didn't cry like whale cry but. like i was in the hall when i found my. and and um and i i just started tearing. and they changed it to best. personalities they felt back me i. the idea of being a clown to me first of. all i was never. i wasn't trying to be a clown i was. trying to be cool pull up a clown nick. please cause he couldn't go on a shelf.

but yeah i didn't even interrupt you man. but you were trying to be cool. now what methods were you using to be. cool you know like. hair combing gels um. yeah okay and then this i get into this. psychology so i get. voted class clown my i my mother knows. what i said about it and she starts. filling my room with clowns. and i'm i'm why why. why i don't know. but i i was so beaten down with like. my voice didn't matter when i was.

younger that i never said i don't like. this. i just sat in my room with clowns just. for years and my phone would ring it. would just be this like laughing clown. what they go like hahaha that's. hysterical no way and that's my phone. and i'd be like hello oh my god. i didn't like oh my god years later i i. went to therapy i'm like why'd you. why'd you do that you were like well was. it. sounds almost willy like a very cheap. willy wonka kind of going. i just can't believe you had the clown.

phone that was big. it was like a clown that was sitting it. was like this kind of it was sitting on. the thing. and its eyes would light up all the. creepiest thing you can imagine and it. would laugh. and i would just pick it up and talk to. my one friend. look i'm making this sound bad i i had. great parents and i had a great. childhood but there were certain moments. where you know. but what do you think it did to you is. that the phone. yes that's it that's so funny can you. play a video of it laughing and. bozo the clown phone yeah please do it i.

want to see him get erect oh my god. you know how you were getting hard by. that countertop this is making a moving. unit this hit me in the gut right here. when i saw that clown. it made me nauseous here we go. [Music]. oh my gosh and that's your because. that's hysterical. it's kind of a cool phone like look. remember bozo the clown that show. vaguely one of my friends was on and i. think or somebody told me they weren't i. just.

always thought they were i knew a clown. you ever made a real clown. and get to know him as a person oh no. yeah i knew a clown he was in a show i. did this like. did you do a lot of stage shows like i. started off as like an actor thing. i didn't honestly this is another thing. like my mother pushed me i never wanted. to get on stage or anything i was pushed. to audition. oh yeah and what about you i make her. sound horrible she's actually very. uh my my older brother and sister both. were like not performers. and i think i was the last one she's.

like this one's gonna do this and then i. was on a movie. and uh we had a nanny for a week my. parents went to like australia. and she's like do you not want to be. here and i was like. no i don't she's like okay let's go home. it's the first time an adult like. listened to. oh i felt i'm exaggerating by the way no. look because i mean. you remember moments and like my parents. did an amazing job but there's like. moments that i remember. yeah and then i uh yeah i just got back. from this therapy this trauma center for. like a week and you talk.

about all like your like growing up. stuff and like the things that. shape you why you behave the way you do. now yeah and you. fascinated me because you can't. there's moments that are so impactful. that that right on the slate of your. personality when you're younger you. can't. protect a kid enough even if you're the. best parent he walks out and. right somebody throws a [ __ ] little. harpoon or something at him and scares. him. a dog bites him yeah and you didn't do. the right thing after. yeah and then the there's one girl.

someone's the teacher said to her uh. you're perfect and then she became. anorexic she remember that moment i have. to be perfect that's my identity. you can't help but like um run into. traps. yeah i don't think that's what i that's. one thing i was realizing after that. week at this place i'm like is there any. way to do it right no there's so many. variables you run into so many in one. day think about how many little things. happen to you. and then when you're younger you're just. so absorbing it and you're trying to. find out what's my identity who am i. and so those are really key and if you.

get a dirty clue from someone a red. herring. yeah you know experiment in the 70s when. they said all the brown. eyed kids are dumber than the blue-eyed. kids. blue-eyed kids are smarter they've never. done this experiment now yeah it's a. famous experiment. and then the blue-eyed kids started to. do better in in on the test the brownie. kids started to do crappy and it just. this insidious thing seeps into your. head if you don't uh. but as a parent your job you can't. control. it do your best best personality they.

changed it was it a small school yeah. like 150 kids in her class that's a. pretty decent amount. and i wasn't telling anybody were you. dating in high school what was it i. tried. and i was like the friend they would. tell like i [ __ ] this guy. i [ __ ] up last night yeah i love this. girl who who. loved my friend who was like freaking. like trash and i was that guy like. who's that guy john cryer i was just. john cryer all the time. oh yeah remember that pretty and pink.

uh-uh that movie he just like he cried. off he played ducky you don't remember. that he played ducky in that movie. here he is here he is ducky that was me. the worst person to be in john cryer. from television. two and a half men two and a half months. there you go east town. i met um what's her uh molly wingreal. did podcast i used to do. and uh she came on it yeah and she she. was cool. she hates 80s music which i found.

fascinating because she sort of made. that. kind of popular she's in the videos or. she certainly gets packed into it. i know you think she it's weird how you. kind of hate the things from your past i. feel like. i think you don't experience them the. way other people did. is that you think i don't know well i. don't know like. charles in charge guy hates charles in. charge you know. really scott bio i bet small wonder. still likes it was a small wonder. with that oh is that the robot girl is. that with uh jerry o'connell.

you might want to check this out no this. you small wonder was the most amazing tv. show they ever made on the air. it was a man who was a robot engineer. and it's the worst acting in writing. you've ever seen like. the wife's like but you're a robot. engineer like she tells him what his job. is. to tell the audience with you so then he. has he made this robot that his boss. didn't like. a robot that would be make everyone a. kajillionaire and so he takes it home. and he works on it at home and then. she becomes part of the family and. here's a scene from it.

isn't he cute my name is she's a robot. my name is vicky pleased to meet you. that kid never worked together none of. them worked again.

the kid got molested probably his next. credit. sadly and that's joe biden right there. about to smell that lady. look at him grab her all aggressive. early 80s style. dude is it you know i mean you do so. many great characters man. uh are you starting to feel like. um well first of all i says do you think. that the ba. do you think biden has a that perv. streak in him.

i don't i i i sometimes i wonder am i. just watching. enough weird edits of [ __ ] or is this. obvious i think he's um just. from he's a very touchy guy but i don't. think it's a perv. i'm gonna do some sexually solu i think. because he does it to like all different. types like. kids old men i mean he's like sniffing. old men's hair and he's touching. everybody he's touching. women more obviously but like i think. he's just. i think he's just a touchy guy my.

opinion you got shades on them. no no i got i don't know i have [ __ ]. that's one yeah cool. i'll take mine off if you want no i want. to put mine on are yours pretty. expensive. yeah oh wow those are good. were you devastated was there a time in. your career where you got devastated out. here where you're like i'm not gonna be. anything. um yeah like this morning. [Laughter]. no i never felt like i made it i always.

felt like i was. you ever see cliffhanger just like hang. white knuckling my career yeah. at all times i mean i when i look back. i i got to save at the last minute every. time every stage. i mean i started off doing um you know. sketch and improv it was. what i'm like like more suited to than. stand up. and then i'm like 25 like i have no. money and i'm like oh. there's no money in this it took me like. all that time to go there's no money. doing. sketch yeah no one said don't do that.

yeah. you know where's the money in that yeah. like you should get. snl if i some miracle but like other. than that. so then i was like okay i'll do stand up. so i did that i got really lucky to make. a living doing that i felt like you know. this. owner of this club took me under his. wing because it wasn't a very uh. assertive. person yeah it's interesting i would. wonder how you would kind of yeah what. was your beginning stand up was it kind. of like brett weinbach kind of. you know what i'm talking about yeah i. love brett weinbach oh he's so funny man. yeah i'm just trying to wonder what.

because i don't um. these are too dark are they they're too. dark no you put yours on yours are. lighter you can. see i can't see too much yeah brett. weinberg i i really started here earlier. and i had bad. i had i had bad management uh when i was. younger and not that they were trying to. do. a good you know but see. i would go up and i would do like a. guitar song and then i would do a. character it was weird. and back you know when i started it was. like you know tim allen whatever you got. a deal by talking about yourself.

and so they're like don't do the guitar. don't do the characters. so i listen to them because i just. listen to what everybody tells me. and then i got to a point where now. luckily with like. the internet and the instagram and stuff. i can do. i'm finally doing what i should have. been doing the whole time yeah but i was. just. adults were telling me you know. successful managers and so i. thought that they knew best and yeah. i didn't have that inner thing where i. listened to uh.

i'm i'm starting to do it now a little. bit more yeah. yeah man i mean i feel like you're. coming in your own at like a lightning. speed. um with craigs news live craigslist live. is. interesting because some people hate it. like it gets a. real response some people watch it. because they hate it i think you know. it's got like i would say 90 of the. people who follow me. hate it and wish i'd stop and there's 10. that are mad that i don't do it. more you know i do it like once a month. now and no one's happy by the way with.

anything i put out. because i put up like i put this like. where's catty daddy or. or something else like where and then. and i so i just cycle around and you. know with making money in the internet. you got to be consistent every week. and i can't be consistent so now what. i'm trying to do is do like a weekly. show or. i do a little bit of everything which is. which is i don't know if i can. handle that much of a workload of trying. to write and shoot and edit i also have. to edit. you know i'm not a fast editor it feels. like a lot of work but. it feels like so what i love is that.

it's so like you can tell that you're. on every every twist and moment of it. is associated to you you know so it's so. specific. um yeah man it's awesome to know that. you're like existing out there and. making cool stuff. i'm i'm i'm so people are excited that's. that's really nice because i i really. feel like it was like. hail mary pass uh this is happening and. youtube. i instagram i don't make any money i'm.

trying to get everyone over to youtube. now i'm not getting on instagram either. yeah i just i'm trying to shovel. everyone to youtube and like that's. where where. you can make something there they're. getting there yeah and i finally got an. advertiser yesterday which is really it. was like because i wasn't making any. money and. working like you know 10 hours a day. but um yeah eforms. oh i've used eforms before yeah they uh. came through. and they're they're sponsoring the fresh. present dc show they're like the. advertiser on that great dude yeah i saw. the first episode uh how was the.

response to that. really good it's been really good and. i'm trying to detail it like. so i cannot it's not uh biden every week. and i'll start adding other characters. like i'm gonna have you know caitlyn. come in. other um and even like i did this time. canceler. uh sketch that people asked for i only. did one of them. but uh i'm gonna have my other sketch. other characters come into the show and. make it like a more general show not. just always about buying because i think. that would get old you know. yeah that's a good point that's a good.

read man yeah um. what i've done the craig dude i was on a. date actually recently and i. may have tried to make love to this. woman or not and i kept doing the uh. craigslist live voice and. she hates me now i could not no it was. good i don't think it was meant to be. dude but. it's a good litmus test oh it was so. much fun though i couldn't stop doing it. which part was like. and i was like yeah i'm not even i can't. even get hard. look at death's penis you're talking. about your dick.

yeah i don't see why that wouldn't be. sexually sexy kids are being so bad in. here. you know doing stuff like that like for. some reason every time i make out with a. girl i'll always be like oh these kids. are being so bad. i always say that for some reason like. these kids are being so bad in me. oh cranky is live i think and she's like. why do you keep saying greg's news alive. but i can't i couldn't not say it that's. so funny film that next time you do that. for me.

put it we'll put on craigs news live you. know you like people. yeah just be if you do this i'll i'll. put you on the show it'll start people. other people doing it if we can get. everyone doing that when they start. making out. i love that moment when you first make. out with a girl i love hearing the. stories about it because. it's so awkward you're invading. like their space so and some girls you. know when you're younger when you know. it was like. i used to ask and they're like don't ask. and now it's like you better ask. yeah so it's like all weird nothing's. that clear and uh.

i'll tell you this if anyone's curious. on how to like make that first move. yeah because some guys go in too early. whatever some guys don't know anyway. you've got to go by by touching like a. leg first. then if she touches you back then you go. to the next thing. you wait for her to respond you have. this. little physical dance first you don't go. in for a kiss. just out of nowhere or it's the end of. the night i'm gonna just reach in. hang back let a knight go by they didn't. make a move.

she'll think you're cool i knew this. girl who um. was so i was fascinated with how she got. girls she was lesbians she got girls to. like her. and straight girls she would convert. them and this. i think works in la more than other. places but like scientology baby. absolutely this one time we're at this. charlie sheen roast. fun fact you're right you wrote on it no. i just add it oh. i was uh someone invited me so i was. sitting at this table with her and this. pretty like girl sits down and i could.

see she clocked. my friend as like oh she's gonna want me. and then wait one of the pretty girl. sits down yeah and she's like clocks. like a lesbian. oh okay this is just just an example of. like right. so she the lesbian girl turns her back. her turns. fully takes her chance and puts her back. to this girl. so now this girl sits up like how'd this. happen. now she needs approval from this girl so.

then the pretty girl goes. i'm gonna arrest him can you watch my. purse. and she goes no like that. what they dated they dated for two years. oh anyway just a little fun fact for. everybody. yeah and i'd be like yeah put your purse. in my heart a whole lot yeah that's what. i would do. okay whatever you want why don't you. just pour all your lipsticks down my. throat. i'll regurgitate them yeah it's like you. feel like you want to please but it's.

it's also not being mean there's books. on this i'm not a knight yeah that guy. wrote it that i've read i read those. books how to nag a woman they used to. call it nagging. yes that book was called david or the. game. the game game or whatever what happened. to him. obviously the guy disappeared i don't. want to guess. yeah i mean is he married now yeah let's. see if he's married. if we could see a clip of i don't want. to no that's fine. waste anyone's time here but it does.

kind of work. i i i i think you you really um. you know strauss lil strauss. yeah he looks really different. astronaut's name too neil strauss it. sounds like. a very good astronaut name oh you want. us to make out some more. i have my my whole thing if i look back. the women. in my life has been like they they um. i'm not very aggressive this is my point. really you had spade went on like kind.

of a double date one night didn't you. yeah yeah he just mentioned it he said. oh yeah yeah. he's like he's like got done again out. of his house you know. we got a couple of or snappers were. taken out yeah. they're sometimes they're like these. uh i don't wanna talk [ __ ] about them. but like it's funny like. how you know because one girl was a girl. he was kind of dating or something and. then when the girl was her friend or. something. yeah i'm not we're not i'm not talking. bad about i'm just and i wouldn't have. to talk about it no i'm trying to.

navigate i don't if this girl's watching. i don't want to insult her. oh she but she was sweet sad men. watching but she was sweet but she just. like. didn't know a generational disconnect. uh it was it was more than that like. this is an example. you know like me and me and david pretty. square and uh she's like oh. my friend this was like this was like. three girls without some this might have. been a different thing than he was. talking about but like she's like. she went in the um bathroom they went to. bathroom to do cocaine to the girls.

oh there's like a nice restaurant they. went to cocaine and david goes oh they. can do it on the table and she goes oh. they can't okay she went to. get up and go tell them they could do. cocaine on the table like they didn't. get. jokes right you know like in a way that. blows your mind. the other thing they were german or. something might have been german. but that's interesting yeah um. dude i'm still thinking about the clown. phone. no oh you know what i had the sports. illustrated flip open. football phone we got that thing.

look that thing up dude it was horrible. it was such a piece of trash. getting getting but it was so huge when. i was young we saved the kool-aid points. and we got. my sister got the kool-aid jacket and. then all the black dudes. oh you i always wondered who was. able to save all those kool-aid points. we did. is that your phone yep that football. yeah that is cool we thought it was cool. dude well we had very different phones. it fell off yeah yeah we did man we had.

different phones one of the most. impossible things ever. everything i get and he always wants to. return the stores are busy. the cashiers are impatient this does it. busy it's just about the only thing that. wrecks the holiday season catch this. it sports illustrated everybody in that. video looked trans. it's a telephone my goodness it's a. telephone inside of a. man football inside of a football. it's in my mind.

[Music]. the problem was it would fall off the. stand it comes on her actually. that is a cool idea nfl stand it would. fall. off and hang open and then it would be. i'll tell you. yeah that i just i kind of feel it. fumbled itself kind of. all right i want to let you guys know i. got some tickets coming at you. uh i will be um running my.

netflix special taping over there in. nashville. uh and that is august 13th and 14th. those will go on sale next. friday also on sale now huntsville. alabama. we're just going to be practicing some. of that material for it. and that's huntsville alabama august 8th. 9th and 10th one show each night those. are on sale right now. also still on sale we've got uh oh st.

louis is sold out we've got cincinnati. charlotte. uh durham chattanooga knoxville. wilmington uh delaware wilkes. wilkes-barre. minneapolis charleston richmond virginia. baltimore portland burlington. vermont uh portland maine that was. albani new york. buffalo and columbus ohio get all your. tickets through theovonne.com. tour any other site there's going to be. up charges it's going to be.

uh scammers and hype beasts. so get them there theovon.com tour. the new dates uh are for theo von. live and the huntsville and nashville. are for uh the dark arts finale so. looking forward to seeing you guys. everywhere thank you for supporting. uh me you know after years of. dealing with fine print contracts and. that's something a lot of people don't. have to deal with but i have to deal. with them.

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you acre gold. for supporting the show stay gold pony. boys. dude i'm still i'm still fascinated on. that moment of being young. and going in for that kiss i know i. remember i was at a fire. and uh the first time you went in for a. kiss yeah. okay let's hear this these are. fascinating to me i was at a fire dude. somebody had burned down something in. our town right. how old i was probably. i would say probably 12.

and i biked over to this fire and this. girl's over there. and some big dude was like you [ __ ]. [ __ ] need to kiss right and we were. too young to even hear anything like. this. and i like was in love with this girl. and she was like oh my god what a. and i look i was not i was like. not a cool i was not a kid you would. kiss if you were a girl uh-huh. my friend was my friend scott he got all. the kisses and i would just be like oh.

yeah and i [ __ ] didn't know what to. do i didn't even know how to do it so i. like you [ __ ] better kiss yeah yeah. and so i opened my mouth and just like. started moving towards her face. and she like let me get like right onto. her face and i didn't know what to do. and it was just. so uncomfortable you just mushed your. like mouth on her mouth you just pushed. it. i just like. yeah was it good did you like it.

it was scary i was my all i cared about. was hoping she cared. like okay i was hoping it was okay like. is this okay for her. and then like she never really even. looked at me after that and she played. volleyball and then. her name was emily and uh a couple years. later she let me brush her hair at a. campfire so i'm like i wonder if fire. has something to do with oh. she linked it up but she had beautiful. hair like a horse dude and she would let. me shield me brush it in a fire nice. mane and then she went.

banging some dude in the woods or. something yeah right at least i got her. like. prepped up you got her yeah prime i was. like hey get out there give him hell you. know. i had my first uh kiss was this girl. she was like 13 i was like seven oh. god listen. i'm with like her friends and she was. like dating whatever your 13 year date. and whatever some guy and like we were. all the hampton beach in new hampshire. and sit around and she's like why don't. you take me on a date and they're all. laughing like she just kept saying this.

stuff to me and they're like yeah take. her to mcdonald's i was like i don't. know i don't know. then everyone went inside and i was. standing on the step i remember so it. became her height. and she came up she came up to me and. said see you later and then she just. like. made out with me and then she was in her. bikini she turned around so like. it was i was i guess i was sexually. assaulted. but it was great it was like not you. know sex was bad but like. that was not a bad moment that is a good. memory that i have of being.

um uh that's that's inappropriate of her. i guess but she's 13 that's pretty young. but still that's i was like seven that's. great. it was great then the next time was i it. was like remember truth or dare it was a. big. way you got a kiss first kiss and they. were like. french kiss whatever i didn't know what. french kiss was but i i knew it was like. something with the neck. that's what i thought so i was like i. think you i think you lick their neck. but i was like 60 sure yeah yeah. so they were like kyle french kiss.

tiffany. and then tiffany gets up and i go to my. friend who said like the things to. french because. hey i don't feel like french kissing. right now can i just kiss her in regular. and he was like okay regular but. i just dodged a book i would have licked. her neck oh yeah. i would have just like looked. like a couple llamas saying goodbye to. each other yeah. exactly yeah oh man. it's so crazy how there's so much going.

on inside of you in those. moments it's so intense in the rest of. your life i'm just sort of like. living off i remember the first time i. saw a boob in the moonlight it was the. first time i saw a live. boob oh god and like i still remember it. like you remember your mom's i guess was. your first. boob yeah wait we never talked about. your mom's nipples. you don't remember exactly i have a. decent memory of them. are they big areolas are they no small. yeah can we confirm that i don't want to. call your mom and confirm that.

i love my mom i don't want her to i. don't want it i mean i know oh could we. uh it would be it would be she wouldn't. tell her. do you want to draw him huh you want to. draw him so you draw him and then you. send her you could. see it just right hey mommy that's right. yeah. dude i saw my grandmother's breasts she. was changing shirts one time. even though she wore only the same shirt. all the time. i think she just went and changed like a. fresh one. and uh i walked by the room and her door. was open and she was just sitting on her. bed and her breast right and she saw me.

see him. and she hated me for it she didn't go oh. honey him. no that just glared like something was. wrong with me yeah oh really. i met a guy last night a guy met a girl. on a date last night. he goes hey i really like your hair. right nice guy. because i really like your hair she goes. it's a wig. like it's his fault yeah like it's a. good wig then yeah she's like it's a wig. that's uh okay there's something going.

on with her i like your [ __ ]. fake hair then who keeps your thing yeah. she's nicer. no that's she's got a lot going on oh. yeah. nothing weirder than a mean grandma. though that story's upsetting. i had one grandmother that was a little. she wasn't. here's this we were riding the car she. was smoking on the back and i was i was. as you know very quiet child i never. spoke up for myself. and i was about to vomit so i said to. her. nana do you mind not smoking i don't. feel well it was very hard for you to. say that wow.

so she goes yeah popper she kept smoking. and i got off and i remember i. barfed on my flip-flops i can still see. the barf on my flip-flops oh. and she wasn't like oh i'm so sorry you. did tell me that and i'm sorry. she's like i gotta kind of clean off. your flip-flops yeah i loved her but she. didn't know it was a more and we're also. softer people i was a sensitive kid so. yeah things hit me like. really i like internalized everything. like i remember my grandparents we were. driving one time across.

america or somewhere it had to be. america. yeah and um i think my gran. somebody accused me of pooping myself. and i didn't a grandparent yeah or. somebody said hey somebody pooped. themselves in the car. mm-hmm you know and i was the only one. in the car that wasn't a grandparent you. know. so i but i hadn't i kept like thinking. like you know you can feel like if. there's poop in your pants. yeah i couldn't feel that so i was like. i don't i didn't do it you know.

and my grandpa had done it right he took. me to the gas station whatever though. went in the bathroom and like washed my. butt as if i'd done. it did he also wash his butt yeah. so he got back in the car and. he used you to cover his [ __ ] oh and my. grandma hated me for it. dude my grandma was nuts man she had. like this lady that would bring her pet. raccoons and i couldn't go. in there when they were in there pet. raccoons. yeah this lady named dell was her name.

like the computers. oh [ __ ] well maybe your grandma's trying. to protect you from like a dangerous. animal. nah she just wanted to be together with. that lit she just wanted them to all to. herself. but it was just a different time man. yeah i think. generations are different too so it's. weird because i feel like our parents. probably didn't like. attach so many of their feelings to. their parents and stuff or their. behaviors to how they were raised. yeah it was different but now we kind of. do that a little bit you think back and. go why am i like this. yeah he was a lot shoving down in the.

generation before us. now it's almost too much uh. saying how you feel about things i think. publicly i see so many videos and i. think. you could have kept that yourself yeah. yet or some stuff like that demi lovato. girl keeps coming out of the closet. every week as something new. yeah you know she's gay she's straight. she's a merry-go-round. she's a bartender one week there's a. video this girl online. she's and she's explaining how she. changes gender it could be on the hour. but it's like how how am i supposed to.

know so she has bracelets she wears and. she's wearing this this the. means this it's like you got it it's. exhausting to be your friend i would. think yeah. miss man what about this yeah and it. also. well now it's come full circle because. you have transgender. you have men competing in women's. athletics that i. i'm sitting back and enjoying this show. because. it really through a monkey wrench people. don't know what because it's like you're. trying to support. and hate the same person and you're like. your mind explodes.

and you got to feel bad imagine you're. you're a woman and you are. worked your whole life i'm going to the. olympics everyone's like you're the best. and you're the fat. and then this 43 year old guy comes into. this. he's yeah this is not gonna last there's. no way. this is dude there's a scene we're in a. unique time. you can't be biologically a man and and. join in. in a female olympic sport warren hubbard. has become the first ever transgender. athlete.

and is she packing rude or what's her. deal. do they say they why don't they just. make a section for transgender people. yeah maybe that's the answer i think. that's the answer. make and don't even make it all the. olympics at first just make it like a. just a. national chat you know what i'm saying. like see if there's enough to even make. a competition you might only have. there's not gonna be enough of an. audience they probably know that the. financials don't work out. i'm sure triller would sponsor it dude. the people that did that.

god they're making money i don't know if. they are dude it looked like a place for. that. uh they had too many concerts in it and. stuff i don't know did he make. 20 million off that thinking of. something else those fights one of those. kids did. wow we gotta do what if we fought what. could we make. if we you're i think 20. we take our. audiences we say. we're going to fight and we're it's. going to be all out like we're we don't. want to fight that's what's. fascinating oh that's a good i we're. going to get in the ring. we don't want to fight and we're going.

to but we're going to. yeah someone falls down for real and. hurt well fall yeah but that's called. knocking somebody out yeah so someone's. knocked out we fight there's no bell. there's no there's no ref it's just us. oh no ref yeah i like that. what would we make i think 20 hit 20k. each. that's not worth it if you said. a half a million dollars we'd have to do. it wouldn't we. is that a half mill i think you would. have to fight.

what would be let's do a comedian match. up and maybe we could put this card. together okay for people. and maybe we don't even fight we're the. announcers boom. now we're making money we're still. making our 20 but we're not crying we'll. get yeah. yeah yeah who could we put together i. think you have to put. chris julia he's in the first he's he's. the uh. main card yeah he's on the main card we. have like eliza slashing during like the. lower card i got chris versus eliza oh.

my god she would destroy. he would destroy her i mean she would. not i don't know she's got pretty. jacked arms i don't know she would. probably take the women's. uh uh whitney maybe whitney versus eliza. would be. quite a match-up both both like athletic. whitney's got them heat bags i want her. dog them tits. would that help the fight or i don't. know it would help me why. elijah that uh load it up no i don't. know.

a lot sarah has that anger eliza's just. like toned from angry yeah yeah. yeah those are rage muscles oh dude. she's always mad. sarah teen will get destroyed i mean. absolutely. she's from georgia dude she would bite. the freaking. she'd snack the volvo off of somebody if. she had to if she would grapple well. that's a good point she gets them on the. ground and she's a child so she has. something to fight for yeah exactly that. gives you the double strength thing yeah. half these vacant ovaries have nothing.

out there going any letterman would do. pretty well i think. he would do it well yeah she's tough. greg fitzsimmons was out. a lot of street fights when he was. younger greg i think i'd put him in. against a woman. that's what it is it's like it's greg. versus annie letterman yeah it's like. that this is the fight that people want. to see did you and annie date or no. we didn't date and like we didn't we. didn't know we didn't we weren't. boyfriend or girlfriend but we were hung. out for a little bit. and uh women end up just hating me so.

that's. the pattern yeah do you think have you. been in a real relationship. yeah i've been in a bunch oh wow really. and what seems to be the thing is there. like an ending piece like. mine i have like big commitment issues. and then i'll like have some sexual. malfunction. as i get into relationships okay um. so i just don't get as like. exacerbated in my penis or anything if. i'm just like with the same partner you. know kind of yeah. yeah woman yeah but um so.

i just you know so i that usually kind. of my relationships will fade out there. because i think i don't want to commit. so my body's saying is like. we're not gonna [ __ ] yeah there'll be. little clues along the way. where you go oh i shouldn't do this long. term i shouldn't have a baby with this. person. a lot of my relationships i look back. and i i imagine. like drawing it out in your head you're. like what does it like for a kid i. always do that. yeah and i imagine like in a room with. the baby going. mommy's not happy today sure we gotta be.

quiet and then i go okay this is not one. listen to that song. in the arms yeah. mine is a drift where i don't think i. have it fixed i think my next. relationship will be um. like like a forever longer term thing. it's because i don't i i wasn't. expressing my. problems enough i squelched them back. the same patterns. and then it builds up like resentment or. something and there's like a drift and. then we kind of break up. that's usually what happens it might.

yeah by past relationships. but are you a real hammer in the bedroom. or you want like a delicate man it's a. hammer time. really one yeah cannot even imagine that. things change when the lights go out. it's always that's the key that's the. thing. yeah like i know a famous musician that. people say is like a love maker and you. would never expect it like he lights. candles and stuff and it's like a dude. you'd be like. i don't do that but i and i think it's. key like when you're.

you're younger yeah you listen and ask. what they like. and then you start to get uh like a. rolodex. of ideas and stuff yeah and just you. could feel out what. type likes what and then uh you know. but you know young guys don't ask you. know and in my year when i was young i. was so horny i would be like i would ask. anything like how are you doing and all. i would hear as soon as they were. talking was like. it was just like i couldn't hear and it. was just so it was hard to like pretend.

you were hearing you know yeah. then it's like i mean you know could you. have a baby you think i could see you. holding a baby. i could see you escaping to canada with. a baby if things got bad here. yeah that's what i would do that's. exactly what i would do go to canada. yeah i i didn't think about having a kid. i mean yes. what's going on you guys um the thing. about uh. having a kid is nobody uh sells that. very well at all. i mean you hear them they go oh it's. changed your life it's a lot of work. it's just yeah it's not like it's great.

it's never that. yeah be prepared if your relationship's. going to change with your woman it's not. going to be it's more of a true. partnership so you got to say goodbye to. the romance it just that's been. um so documented yeah do you want to. have kids. i think i need to get to a place where i. want to i'm starting to see you being a. good dad. better you should be a dad that'd be. good i think i would i just don't want. to be. i want to have i just can't imagine. something being at my house all the time. when i'm not there.

that's it yeah. i i just not that i'm not there but just. the thing is it was never go and it. needs you all the time yeah. you never go it's like how did where. that yeah it's got too much batteries in. it mm-hmm. and if you stop it you go to jail here's. a guy right here who's doing well right. here my buddy. you know this is gary larson's son who. used to draw the caricatures. no [ __ ] he kind of looks like one of the. characters not really but that would be. cool though theo.

kyle what's up guys hey i was just. wondering. how do i know if you're not a deep fake. oh [ __ ] gang gang this is gonna uh. this is gonna happen five years from now. that'll be a real. legit thing what what is it someone's. already fakes so a lot of it's like yeah. it's it's funny when i'm watching the. characters it's like. i when i'm watching your characters i. feel like i'm watching them. i know it's your creativity behind it. but i feel like i'm watching them most. of the time. you know it's funny i don't use the deep.

fake technology that's really good. mine is a shitty janky thing because i. found. that the real deep fake is creepy and. not funny like. the wrong side of your brain is is. freaked out when it's. close to the person yeah like i don't. know if you've seen the. real deep fake ones that look really. good have you seen those. i think i've seen some of them i got one. of uh tom cruise. yeah like this. so that's my friend miles fisher dude is. that right. yeah he's killed you know reminds me.

he was once in the russia he ran into. uh gorbachev look it's amazing. that's just him he looks like this but. they just. face on him he already does a good. impression himself oh okay but the. defensive. people he's fooled like a bunch of.

people there's he's got a tick-tock. account that's like. good for him it's amazing but anyway. it's um. i find it's not as funny yeah comedy. doesn't work when your brain is like. wait something's wrong here. it's like the brain needs to know. something's wrong yeah just so he can. comfortable and relax like south park. looks really goofy. um and the face swap thing i have looks. very goofy it's quite like. kind of broken but that i did a common. essential pilot and we used this. extreme deep fake and it was like creepy. it was wow.

it wasn't funny they didn't pick it up. huh no but. i'll tell you this it was crazy what i. made. what i did with their money was crazy it. was awesome no it was crazy. it was did you ever put it out i just. put like everything i do and. here's what i thought i was like i'm. gonna show them like i could lead a. sketch show because i. do music and these other things but then. i like i wrote this script. and then i thought uh it was like a. three part like. a b and c plot time jump script it's. always already confusing.

yeah and then i'm like i'm gonna have. the commercials and show like my other. characters within that. but you can't jump away from the things. i learned you can't jump away from a. narrative story. and go somewhere else for any more than. like. 10 seconds like right family guy will do. a quick joke but you got to come back to. the story i would go away for like a. minute minute and a half. so then it feels like you just turn the. channel on the person it doesn't work. even it's funny they're like why i was. watching that other thing then the time. jump and the three plots made it really. confusing. it was just so it just looked like you.

were changing. channels it was crazy is it is it so. do you confuse yourself sometimes with. kind of trying to put it all. together is it yeah i'm still trying to. figure out how to do a weekly show where. i don't lose my mind where i'm. satisfying. people and i can have a regular show so. i can make. um a living doing this because right now. it's like. you know i do show like i started doing. this like sylvester stallone show which. was gaining. followers and stuff but then it's like. other people are like. there's too much of this so i stopped.

doing it then that drops off and those. people like where's that. it's just like i gotta do one thing and. somehow do little clips of everything. i'm not sure and you were doing. craigslist live five four days a week i. was doing it. so much that was just like a for me it's. just trial by fire and just yeah i'll. get better if i just keep doing this. yeah and i was kind of feeling that way. about it you're gonna you're gonna it's. all gonna i mean it's happening i feel. like it's growing your channel is. growing. yeah it's growing and getting. advertisers i can get off the grid with. having to worry about a network and all.

that stuff because what i do i don't. think is. easily advertised it's very um offensive. to a lot of people kind of or i don't. think it's just genuinely funny. or it's well i feel like it's not. offensive personally because i don't. want to hurt somebody's feelings. i i just know it it's it clicks all the. buttons of an advertiser says no we're. we. we're not gonna advertise right but. that's all gonna i feel like slowly. that's gonna change i mean in. five years every other person is going. to have a network. you know a small little network yeah you. can see it like.

even with podcasts and it's like rogan. was this thing that. is like insurmountable you know and then. there will never be another rogan you. know there will just be other small. there'll be some big podcasts. yeah like jack shepard and like i mean. there'll be some big shows but. there will never be i don't think. there'll just be a bunch of other kind. of smaller tiered shows now. yeah and then there will be even. different ones you know and it'll like. it's all getting different you know yeah. yeah i think i think we're in the right.

your pocket. you're in there you're in the future but. it's funny because youtube is now i. guess. like that they take so much money you. first had a podcast netflix hires first. had a podcast. netflix hires jerry eaton oh okay. i don't know if i would watch podcasts. on netflix though. i don't know i feel like they're just. getting into it because amazon's taking. over. all of a sudden that's the weird thing. though i it's weird that like. i don't know how they're gonna but who.

knows who knows what will happen i love. youtube it's just. they take like percent of your super. chats. yeah thirty percent of your thirty. percent of. everything else like your members i have. members joining. and like they take that much of the. stuff yeah. that's unreal is only five to eight. percent. but it's harder it's harder to get. people from youtube that's the thing. it's like. the problem is like people don't want to. get off a platform like getting people. from. instagram over to my youtube has been. like a sludge it's been tough.

and then getting them to like patreon. it's like another thing so i was like. let me just do it all on youtube but uh. yeah they take so much it's brutal it's. a lot. it's crazy man it's a and um and the. government takes. 50 yeah like. california and the federal government. it's like 40 some percent and then. yeah it's pretty crazy it's crazy for. yeah california and. specifically for la it's an extra. percent so it's 14. living in california on top of it yeah.

um kyle have you thought about doing uh. seasons. like maybe do ten episodes instead of. trying to do that every week do ten i. think that's the way to go. because then and i will give you credit. for that idea. here's a beautiful question from a guy. right here good man probably. guys leaving his family someone's like. to imagine what yeah it doesn't seem. like he. just left them and your work. been following you for a long time feel. you as well. you demand um yeah.

guess these questions for kyle um how. have you felt in terms of you know. recent censorship and kind of. shadow banning i don't know i don't i. don't want to call it you know that. serious of a term but you know i'm sure. some of your videos and stuff like that. get kind of swept under the rug. sometimes based on the uh. the content and the people involved with. it so. not to get too serious but you know just. kind of want to know your feelings on. that. without getting too political and uh you.

know see what you think about the. algorithms. that's going on on social media right. now that kind of favor certain things. and. you know kind of hide others so cheers. man keep it coming and a big fan of. y'all's work gang gang. he's in a honda civic i believe he could. be and it looked like it was a stick. shift as well did you pick that up at. all. the stick shift yeah i didn't clog that. but he also maybe. you might have a dog if i'm looking at. that back seat is it dog hair. no it's just a design um no that's a.

good question. dude i look at this stuff he also shaves. his neck well. do you know what i mean that's not easy. he's got a clean that's a strong beard. oh so definitely i would eat out of that. neck you know what i'm saying. he moisturizes it yeah if he's back. clean or if he doesn't and he has blue. eyes. um yeah the question brother yeah that's. a good question that's a good question. and. i don't mean to be paranoid but when i. look at like like percentages and then. comments.

because they don't ban those there's. definitely some squelching going on. because it's not tracking with other. videos you could tell. um by like percentage and um oh yeah. comments kind of how many views a video. gets. and the biden stuff has just been like. really squashed on. instagram in particular um. but yeah i mean it's crazy how much the. like the media influence i mean. just politic it's just crazy how much. it's gotten i stopped tagging i didn't.

tag biden's time because my last video i. just didn't tag him. yeah um but yeah i don't think you need. to but it's it's crazy. i mean the power that they have too. because it's like that's our only way to. communicate now i know. but when there's money involved and i. don't think it's some dark. you know whatever people think i don't. think it's really a political thing i. think it's. money i think it's like advertisers want. to stay away from some political so. youtube gets that clue and so you're not. going to be not going to make much money. off of your video so we're going to but. if you do a trunk if you. had done a trump one i bet they would.

push it oh maybe i don't. i think i don't i don't know the answer. but i think they don't like anything. political on uh youtube instagram. i don't know the answer but i definitely. uh that could be true. i don't i don't know either um but. luckily the thing we have is like uh. yeah but it's like anything it's not. like. anything that's ins like it definitely. all the mainstream media certainly skews.

more leftist. yeah yeah totally i mean no cnn is the. most ridiculous channel. it's gotten so bad i used to be a cnn. watcher right yeah like five years ago. and now i'm like nothing this is just. anarchy. this isn't even real jeffrey toobin. apologizes on cnn just real quick. so funny have you seen this yeah i mean. this is the channel now that this guy. he and he says here he didn't know the. camera's on. the the conversation's over but they.

need to. he needs to go to therapy to be a better. per better person yeah. but a person who knows how to work zoom. better yeah like she's like she acts. like she doesn't masturbate in this. i want to find the shorter one what the. hell were you thinking. yeah it's like it's just so bizarre. it's bizarre that's why and this is one. of the things that's helped create such. a better world for uh. hello allison it's been a while it has. been a while indeed. i feel like we should address um what's.

happened. has the most i don't masturbate dress on. you oh. definitely i don't even have a vagina. in fact i uh look once a month. i cough a little bit of blood into a. napkin that's it. that is what she has maybe you want some. other nose runs. right just a drip see you since some of. our viewers. look both of his hands up on the. yeah table yeah i'll recap i'll do the. honors. and she's just help yourself okay help.

yourself poor choice of work. on a zoom call with your colleagues from. the new yorker magazine. everyone took a break for several. minutes during which time look at this. people were caught. masturbating on camera emasculated man. so you were subsequently fired from that. job after 27 years of working there. and you the assistant had been on leave. for example you have to do why. why would he how have you not done this. okay because it's already done. it's already as hilarious as it could be.

that's a good point. um to quote jay leno what the hell. were you thinking well obviously uh i. wasn't thinking very well. drag him through the mud and say what a. bad person i am he just didn't know the. camera though. i think one point this is him saying i. wouldn't exactly say in my defense. because nothing is really in my defense. yes it is he didn't think i was on the. call that that's. your defense other people could say. that's a really good defense yeah and it. just. didn't think people could see it it's. like jerk in front of a window like oh i.

didn't know someone could see me i mean. it's a little different because it was a. zoom call but. he he really should know the etiquette. of the with the lights on. i don't know what happened yeah he's at. that age where you don't know. i'm shocked i'm amazed the guy still. jerks off that was the most surprising. thing well that's what i was thinking. imagine the first time. he jerks off again after that and. looking at his dick like you saw. you got me into this but i'm still going. to come back like an abusive. husband you go back to that's when. you've really. lost the fight it's like that movie the. five parties or whatever kind of.

what's up with me uh i don't think. that's right but it's almost like it. reminds me of like bobby. brown and tina turner or whatever yeah. yeah exactly. exactly when he went back to his penis. even though it got him into. a whole mess yeah he just slowly unzips. his pants and sees it. i'm gonna do it again yeah oh or i'm. gonna teach you. oh you think maybe that would be a that. would be a. i think a healthier thing to go at it. yeah. with that attitude little boy he's son. of a [ __ ] get a little bitty [ __ ].

yeah dog leash around you like the. camera on you turn the camera on again. you like that. all right next question spit donkey. stick. this guy but yeah that's insane like why. would you just say the guy had a natural. deal he forgot the zoom thing was on. it's like you can't laugh it off but the. weird thing is it's like the more. that we have to say things that are. we have to call out ridiculous because. the more that we don't the more it. becomes. that's the norm yeah ex really.

that's a great point because there's. nothing left like the major. uh networks and outlets are acting like. this is normal and that he needs to. bow to the holy. people who who are the people that don't. right like who. everyone relates to him that's right. watching he's like oh man that would. suck. right who are the people like oh i can't. imagine how how'd this guy even do. what's going on yeah who's going like. i'm glad he apologized to me.

is there anybody at home thank god. toobin apologized now i'll listen to his. thoughts right so then what are we. apologizing to. it makes no sense it's all a big show. it's silliness. and i mean luckily there is youtube and. stuff where we can make. people could talk and twitter people can. uh. but yeah people barely can though. twitter's i mean twitter yeah yeah it's. getting surprised twitter's bad. i mean you just get attacked you say. black twitter gets insane it's like. people that have. you what's black twitter it's just like. a big group it's just it's mostly black.

people on twitter i guess this might. also be white twitter but they also. hashtag it a lot black twitter it's like. black twitter go get them you know. and it's like some lady named entendre. who has literally 230. 000 tweets and it's like what how could. you. and it's just like tons of people like. that and it's just. it's just amazing how we let twitter run. everything like. you would think if something was this. bad for us if it caused. this much pain and panic in the world. um like i even had this this came up i.

remember. comparing coronavirus to the what oh i. said this is right at the beginning of. coronavirus. i said coughing is the new n word. that's a good point though crushed bro. this. must have got a lot of tweet retweets oh. it was so great. people are happy to retweet um. yeah decent amount anyway a ton of life. that's a good point though you're right. people. really got upset if you coughed yeah. really upset.

because i've done both dude and uh. definitely the cough. that is a brave tweet you did that was. the call that was a brave tweet. you know what's funny i got a text from. my agent i got a text from freaking like. a. bit like a guy who's an agent like some. of the biggest stars out there. who was like love that tweet today bro. like. there's so many people that are like. cheering on anything that's just. because it's like now it's the. punishment is so severe you are brave to. put that out it is a legit brave. uh thing to do because it's the.

punishment is like. but look at a guy like morgan wallen is. a white musician right does country. music. his ticket sales quadrupled when he just. said the n word. [ __ ] calling his white friend that. right and not even like as like uh. you know he just said like you hear it. on rap music or whatever yeah um. so i think there's the way to use this. whole thing. and i'm not saying go out and yell the n. word or write it on a book. you made a comedy joke that's not you.

want this now you. want people to can you believe he did. this you almost. want the canceling because it's only. going to help. yeah that's why i hope youtube is like i. just hope but that's the thing. that you can't control is if the. platforms will let you remain. yeah yeah i mean and it feels like game. of thrones almost. yeah i worry about my youtube channel. i'm concerned do you. go to nick for that nick's a good judge. do you think or not look at it nick. would you think. you would worry about kyle's youtube. channel i really don't cause like you.

said like. it's it's only the p it's the appearance. of the money. they because you're talking about. political but the stuff you're making. fun of is like. has nothing to do with political beliefs. on either side well there's a lot of. stuff there that uh i mean. it's kaitlyn jenner there's caitlyn. jenner's stuff there's a big hilarious. there's a big crazy you see her drive. down the road the other day someone's. like go get him. joe or whatever they call her now and. she's like thanks buddy. yeah baby thanks.

liquid death man if i had an extra. eighth day of the week. if i had saturday sunday. [Music]. grande maybe grundy or gang day. that'd be good if i had an extra day. what would i do i'd probably do arts and. crafts or teach it. teach arts and crafts to children. macaroni necklace and.

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your own studio. you're gonna be making half a million. dollars a year off of youtube. and you're gonna be in a great spot man. that is a dream to have your own thing. where you're not. because even just being an actor for all. those years just waiting for an audition. and then you go in there and then. they're like. all right you're like am i good enough. this is awful yeah. you wait around little biscuity freaking. chick that's never done yeah. and then you're doing someone else's. writing that you don't like that's. awesome can i please have this job. i did that forever i stopped going out.

on auditions and stuff because. it's all the time it takes to memorize. and then we're driving to the thing. anyway. and then showing up unprepared that's. what i do all the time i drive over. there. so prepared one time i came back from. i remember this i came back from las. vegas somebody give me while i was there. a rock of cocaine i'm not even joking. i've never tried cocaine as big as this. little thing's head. yeah it was a full rock i was like he's. like you want some coke i was like yeah. i do. and i was like all right i'm gonna go in.

the bathroom and he hands me literally. this thing was like. it was about two-thirds the size of a. baseball so i'm like it was a ch it was. a rock i couldn't i've never i've only. how do you gust so i didn't know i go in. the bathroom and i'm like trying to rub. it against my face. and uh that can't be oh dude that can't. be the way you do it. i couldn't even eat at the buffet the. next morning i [ __ ] couldn't get my. face. open but that day i had to fly home to. l.a right. you're just rubbing a rock on your face. yeah dude the whole way home. and i even dropped it on the bathroom.

floor on accident. and it didn't break dude wow so it was. definitely i think it was cut with quick. crete. did you ever do it hold on so i get to. the audition i am. so jacked out of my brain for doing. cocaine for a few days. i go in there and i tell the lady right. yeah this character would be a lot. better. if the character had this cocaine. problem. she's like oh really. it had nothing to do with the script are.

you high on cocaine at that moment. uh i was still heavily under the. influence i remember having all like. these little sores on my tongue that. happened from like uh oh my god just. like the cocaine songs will get on your. tongue then it kind of burns it jeez. and i was like you know what would be. great it was like a it was like this new. age snow white that they were doing i. was like. is it the guy snow yeah. so it's like disney is that a cocaine. coke head we going to disney show. out where they play all day. i've never tried cocaine this goes back.

to like free will because the first time. i saw people do cocaine they were so. annoying to me that i just didn't do it. well you'll eat your neighbor's ass dude. but you won't want to talk to them. yeah they were like everyone's like but. they're everyone's like waiting to talk. next but. my car but my car yeah and it's horribly. up to 5am and you you'll [ __ ] get it. dude you will. swap email addresses with a dolphin when. you're on cocaine dude. everybody likes comes up with big ideas. and then nobody can even wake up for. three days yeah. nightmare i am so glad i am not on. cocaine today.

i'm glad praise god a lot of beards in. the questions. yeah did i answer that guy's question. thank you what was his question uh. the censorship one yeah. do you worry about i guess you do if you. say i do i mean i feel like my. by my latest videos on youtube and. repressed a little bit on instagram too. the fresh prince of dc yeah it's just. it's not matching up the numbers and the. the other percentages it seems seems. like. very something's very suspicious about. the uh.

and the amount of giant accounts that. have commented or interacted that should. like make it. really pop yeah and plus friends that i. that always. you know like things even though they. don't watch my thing they just like it. they just like whatever like friends of. mine they just never saw it they just. never saw it you know so it's like. i don't know well i know trump i think. has a lawsuit right he's trying to get. against these organizations. yeah maybe that'll be one awesome thing. that comes out of trump man. um is if he because it is. it is not it's weird when.

something else has control it's control. if the one thing that's good about. youtube is people like. and and um make comments and like share. it that does. help the youtube i've noticed yeah it. doesn't help the instagram but. youtube it does a little bit big tick. big tech okay. three real nice terrific i'm so terrific. today in conjunction with the america.

first. policy institute i'm filing as the. lead class representative where is he. looks like he's at the white house. i built another white house the big tech. challenge that's smart he keeps it. looking like he's. still there it is true huh as well look. at that seal. mark zuckerberg sunder.

yeah i mean he's uh the leader of uh. i think trump was just too much here's. the crazy things about trump man. i heard so before i would hear so many. stories about how trump would get. something built somewhere. and then like have and then never pay. the people. yeah yeah you would hear just so many. like. it's just dirty business i feel like he. was just a dirty business man i think he. had some good. intentions i don't think he was the guy. to be able to pull him off. here i think if he almost didn't.

just didn't talk the whole time he'd. still be president he just sat. and just was like i think people you. know. the whole all the movement of people and. where they've already talked about. was just really powerful and just used. cnn like. every day they just talked about that. guy and they you know what they do now. so much money they don't know what they. don't do now they're just like can we. bring tubin back to yell at him more. they don't know who they ended up. too that they can't even really talk. about anything yeah you know. yeah i got rid of my cable i haven't.

read my tv stuff. i did and then i got i think i'm gonna. get it back though yeah. that's nice yeah for sports yeah and one. of the fights this weekend. we got to get our thing going our next. fight now a comedy fight network. yeah the comedy fight network i would. love to see one other match up i think. on there. on the bill yeah we have we have eliza. versus. um craig fitzsimmons yeah i guess they. have to agree this too we have some. hurdles to overcome. yeah we got but we should probably do it.

i don't think greg's right for eliza i. think there's a better someone like they. have a. beef that does someone she doesn't like. would be nice. okay so anyone yeah yes so anyway. great she got she got we got into a mask. thing a couple of weeks ago it was just. oh really i was like it was just. she does comedy correctly do you know me. by that she's got. she's got a down like the bells and. whistles of how to do it. and get a reaction she really is a very.

good technical. comedic performer she knows the list you. know the lists at the end for a. standing ovation no i don't ever look at. that oh yeah you get like a. do you get if you want to standing. ovation i understand your show you just. get them yeah. or if they ever wayne what's that i mean. i'm not i shouldn't that's not right to. say. but i mean i put in the work i think i. just get them there's definitely ways. you know who said tell me george wallace. what is the list you know what it is. no it's just like it's a list joke where. it's like it doesn't give me any joke. i went to the starbucks all the mocha.

dog frappuccino what's about you a long. list and then they give you a nice. applause you notice that she does she. does very. good technical stuff like that she knows. what she's doing she's she has some new. yeah. some new like it's like not. anti-christian but she's like your. angles. yeah she writes and then it's like yeah. so then it's like people are clap like. clapping. she could write a book on i don't think. we could write a book on comedy i think. she could write a book on comedy to make. uh people uh i think she has like. just thought it out dissected it.

i don't know are you writing a comedy. book sorry no no i'm not i just don't. know about that um. yeah what else can we talk about dude. i'm trying to think of something really. interesting here's how about a. humiliating story. all right people like to hear uh. humiliating stories i find because then. they feel better about their life. yeah you've got plenty here's a guy this. is darren too. yo yo yo hopefully the interview is.

going pretty good. if not you guys can answer this another. beard. what do you guys like to do outside of. comedy. in your free time what do you guys like. to do for fun. love to hear it hope you guys are doing. awesome. all right rock and roll. i like this guy i could hang out with. this guy he's. high as [ __ ] one eye is very high i. think he. has a shallow gape on that eye i don't. think he's fully eyed out.

it's very red he's got great teeth a guy. who flosses. you know he's a good oh yeah. he's in a tub he's got a good fan going. his family's deceased in the next room. but. he's doing just he just murdered his. entire family. he's taking a bath this is his second. bat the first bat got the blood off now. this is his relaxed. bath to think about the murders yeah he. just might send some rupees to soul in a. few minutes but he can't decide if it's. too up tempo for the.

for the time he did just buy some fans. from uh. from home to target yeah they're blowing. the other room. he said you have any loud fans i could. buy and i said right here sir. and they're helping uh after the blood. cleanup. nice marble backdrop he's doing well. he's just doing well. what was his question unless he bought a. piece of money what did we do behind the. tub just yeah. like the rest of the room is just a. cracked end but the corners nice.

my spare time yeah what are you doing i. write music people don't know that i. write. classical music yeah you do not i'm. getting a piano right now yeah i gotta. yeah do you might get a young chang have. you ever oh. yeah wait is that what i have. i'm looking at young i rented mine i've. rented mine i think it might be a young. chang. wow i'm showing a picture of it yamaha. pearl river. uh what are some other ones i'm looking. at i love. i think mine's a young chang that's cool. do you play piano i mean i used to play.

not well but i used to play yeah i. like young chang man yeah that's my big. hobby. i do uh that's you right there that's me. yeah wait there's more and then you. playing classical music. no my classical music is not i never. figured it out. i just like you know i gave my mom a. song you know. i'd have money for a gift so i wrote. things like that but um. i think i might do put an album out but. i don't think any like who'd want to. hear that. of classical music yeah i don't think.

there's a big audience for that. i don't think there would be a huge. audience but big fans of yours would. like. to i would have it i think especially. even if it's. not even that great just light piano. songs in the background when you're. doing dishes or something i would love. that. that guy in the tub would actually be. nice if my songs were playing my little. piano songs. relaxing tub maybe i'll do relaxing tub. music. i'll be in a tub in the album cover i. miss album covers but. me too relaxing tub music is good yeah. kyle duncan's relaxing what do you do.

for your free time what is your spare. time. i don't know man probably worry about. stuff oh that's right that's my number. one hobby actually never mind and i. don't even realize that sometimes i'm. like yeah. sometimes i'll catch myself doing it. what are you worried you seem not. worried about anything. yeah i'm getting less worried what else. the good thing about age is you do get. less worried just cool i just want the. energy for it. but i'll do i like to go do yoga i like. to go to the i like to do a little bit. of fitness. god you don't seem worried really if i.

if you were to ask me. who's the one person who's least worried. that i know i would have said you. wow thanks yeah thanks a lot. that's good to hear man i feel like i'm. slowly getting less worried it's a. like things come to you you're you're. doing great. you you you tweet the n-word it seems. like a guy doesn't really care. that's true i will say this i do start. to feel a little bit more like. just willing to say what i want to say. recently i'm kind of tired of being. hammered up like. i'm doing like a netflix special in a.

couple weeks that's one of the things. that's kept me like. scared i think a lot of times i'm trying. to be just say whatever i want. yeah and trying to write this animated. thing for netflix i just worry that. these corporations are going to have you. you're going to need them though i mean. you can you're off the grid i think you. you're you'll be okay financially even. if you don't have any netflix. things yeah that's true but you kind of. want it though but netflix is something. you kind of want that exposure sometimes. yeah but i don't even know if you need. it that much anymore yeah i don't have. it at all they're not interested. they have not called me well look in a.

year they'll call and you won't even. want them dude that would be. the greatest thing my first netflix. special did nothing for me man oh really. absolutely like i remember i've told. this story but i went to chattanooga to. this show. it was this thick girl and i ended up. probably hooking up with her i don't. remember dude but thank god she was. there. you don't remember i didn't console me i. probably you think you think maybe you. did but you're not sure. i mean i probably could who knows who. knows what happened i did. but this is what happened i want time. i'm not i don't jump the story but i. don't know.

who i hope this girl i was so drunk i. knew she was big in my head yeah. but i i sobered up the moment i looked. in the mirror we're in a bathroom. and i looked and i saw my hands were on. her pockets and i saw how far apart my. hands were wow they were like. three feet apart sexy yeah it was nice. anyway go ahead. god it's kind of so you're getting this. you know what the big the thing is about. kind of thicker women sometimes it. scares me i think. it's like i'm not gonna they're not. gonna get i'm not gonna be able to do. this. okay it's not like their body type i.

don't like. yeah you're right yeah fear of inability. i also feel like are they attracted to. me i'm so tiny. right yeah i'm just a little giblet to. them yeah. like they must be like oh how am i going. to hold on to this how do i hug a pencil. yeah you would feel them kind of wrestle. you around and they've got control. yeah that can't be sexy for them yeah. like hey why don't you adjust my c-spine. while you're. so what happened with this girl um i. don't remember what happened what were.

we talking about. you said chattanooga oh yeah so i went. to the show i had a netflix special came. out this is my first weekend. i get there nobody no way and this. special just came out yeah like 20. tickets wait did you have time what. about the show after that i mean did you. have time for them to. i did nothing it did nothing it was. heartbreaking damn. yeah i kind of want to do one just so i. could say i had one because i feel like. there's some kind of. like doing letterman or something meant. something now it's like doing. but yeah ultimately it'd be great not to. need someone else.

mark norman's blew up on youtube it's. special yeah he did a smart thing. he just put it on youtube and it really. helped him out yeah. i i do think that that's the move i. think after this i mean. if this one goes through and we get it. out there. but i always worry about like man if i. say if i do if i do one thing is it. gonna cost me my special you know. even with mark's millions of views now. he's doing he's only doing the half hour. uh not only right good accomplishment. but he's on like the comics thing where.

they give like. 10 people half hour he that just. announced he has a half hour on netflix. coming oh okay. he probably got that i mean before oh. maybe i don't know how long it takes for. them to process you'd. know because if after this i think you'd. get a full one. after but how was your sales are your. tickets getting better. yeah my i cancelled my last trick as a. coved but. um the sales were pretty good but i. don't do you know. huge theaters i do like small like 300. seat or that's great though. i mean at somewhere because you go to.

club i would go to clubs anyway it's. like it's. still it's awesome i have trouble also. satisfying that that thing. like some people will yell caitlyn or. something whatever i'll come out as. craig sometimes and it's just like. i'm jumping around and i want them to. enjoy the whole show. and it's like you know it's just a tough. thing but they enjoy. you i think that's one thing that i. don't even recognize at this point like. i didn't really realize until i sat in. the audience i watched brendan shaw. perform one night right. yeah and i watched him i sat there he. was performing in nashville so i went.

and. and i sat in the crowd and people people. that are. fans they just want to be there with you. like. for me i'm always so high in my head. about the material i'm like. it's going to be okay for him and but. they just want to be. in the room with you it's almost like. they're saying it almost felt like the. fact because this is the vibe i got from. the fans around me who are watching him. that they were just happy they just want. to be in the room and having a good time. with you here's where you're wrong okay. you're right about you and brendan for.

me i. don't really exist to most of the people. who are. who follow me and watch my stuff it's. like caitlyn. or biden or or craig it's like someone. else like. i'm i'm actually just starting to put. myself i'm gonna start putting more. videos of myself out because i think. that is the way to um make. more people happy is to have myself. involved as like a real person because. they're like i'm living and dying off is.

this funny is this thing funny. right and i've always known there was a. stand up always felt i was living and. dying it's like. you're a personality people really enjoy. and i don't really have myself out there. as a personality i have like uh my. my comedy bits my you know impressions. or whatever. so it's not a hang for them to be with. me i don't think. you know i don't know i think you're. creative and so unique enough. that it for me i would be like i want to. just know more about who this person is. and so i think it's almost novel in the.

way that. that's where they can get to know more. like who's behind this thing that i love. it's so powerful like also thompson. girls like that too or it's like. you guys are their friend and they want. to come and like have a party with you. guys that's very powerful and and great. and i am. i i i'm jealous of that i'd like to get. some of that did you ever do a pod or no. i did years ago but i also was kind of. side kicky i didn't. i didn't i wasn't the driver of it yeah. i would just kind of jump in with with.

stuff. um but that did actually help my sense. to people's day. i would say ten percent of people come. to my shows are from that podcast so it. is more powerful to a podcast. in terms of getting people to your shows. and it's interesting and i find that. most people more. people that come up to me and say hey a. lot of times they're people that i would. like to know anyway. so it's like you kind of relate to. people that you would probably get along. with yeah yeah. yeah it's like you don't really get fans. you almost get like. if you had unlimited amount of time.

people you would be friends with yeah. it's kind of interesting and you get to. talk the whole time which is great. in the relationship yeah that's kind of. nice that's kind of. it's a little bit hectic too what news. we got we got any news nick. yeah let's see uh the tyson fury fight. was postponed because he. tested positive for covid and so did. this camp oh. damn oh one other thing one last thing. about people we're just talking about. yeah. which i'm jealous of is creating content.

like we've talked for. an hour and a half or something like we. can chat and have fun and just talk and. there's content that goes out you can. monetize it. what i make like to make a minute of. what i make. like i can't crank this i'm gonna try. but cranking. like seven minutes out a week is you. know there's a. whole tv shows doing trying to do that. yeah the all with all the staff and. everything. and it's really hard so doing a podcast. i need to do a podcast and so i can. because i think things seem to come out.

every week. that's been my i think slowing me down. as i will take a month break and. uh well you can't burn yourself out also. yeah that's a lot of work that you do. especially if you're doing the editing. this buying thing no joke took me about. 300 hours it took me. six weeks to do 20 minutes of this this. is so good. yeah you're making like a i wonder but. the good thing is it sounds like if now. if you've got some ad revenue starts to. come in maybe you can hire somebody who. could you think you could hire somebody. to do the edit or is it that. close to you it's funny i've had a. couple people edit but it's like.

you know with comedy timing is a lot he. has to be a. really good timing because then you have. to go back and adjust little things. but i need to loosen the range a little. bit and let someone else um. ig clips and different things i'll be. like what about you know because you. know the timing you know what it is. you want it to be what you imagined and. then like i'm doing the lighting and. there's no. director so then i'll do a whole i'll. shoot for like a half hour then realize. like my ear was out of the hat wrong i. have to go redo it like there's no one.

you know you're on a set there's so many. people you're like telling you why is. all these people here they all need to. be there. yeah anyway i've discovered that it is. pretty fascinating you do realize like. you're doing it at a lower budget thing. or at like a lower level that. you realize what everybody's for the the. the amount of time. i i have to like deal with wigs it's. like disturbing. that's beautiful this is beautiful. it is kind of beautiful um here we go. what we got here that's just him talking. about corn pop.

oh yeah he's core pocket he's a bad dude. come on man i learned. that uh it makes a difference this was. the driving board area. and i was one of the guards and they. weren't allowed it was a three meter. board. and you fell off sideways you landed on. the dams uh the darn cement. over there and corn pop was a bad. dude and he ran a bunch of bad boys. and i did yeah he and back in those days.

the shot things have changed. one of the things you had to use if you. use pomade in your hair you had to wear. a bathing cap. and so he was up on the board one. listening i said hey esther. you off the board i'll come up and drag. you off. he didn't say he came off and he said. i'll meet you outside my car this. was mostly these were all public housing. behind it. my car there was a gate out here i. parked my car outside the gate. and i he said i'll be waiting for you. he's waiting for three guys in straight.

razors. not a joke there's a guy named bill. wright mouse. the only white guy and he did all the. pools he was the mechanic. and i said what am i going to do he said. come down here in the basement. where mechanics where where all the pool. filter is you know the chain used to be. a chain that went across. the deep end and he cut off a six foot. length of chain he pulled up he said you. walk out. with that chain and you walk to the car. and say you may cut me man but i'm going. to wrap this chain around your head.

i said you're kidding me he said no if. you don't don't come back and he was. right. so i walked out with the chain and i. walked up to my car. and they had those days usually. you know. and i looked at him but i was smart. physically forced to stand there. i said when i tell you get off the board. you get off the board i'll kick you out. again but i shouldn't have called you.

esther williams i apologize for that. i apologize is this corn pop i apologize. gonna work. he said you apologize to me i said i. apologize but i'm not for throwing you. out. but i apologize for what i said he said. okay. close the straight razor my heart began. to beat again. that's some laughs long story though she. was a uh. female swimmer in like the 50s that's. our present. and that's when you're doing well not. the not not this sonic. yeah he was a bad dude man he was a bad.

dude man. hey corn pop i got chain wrapped around. my face yeah. yeah not not in my face corn pop not my. favorite. my. you feel this whole team is probably. just like their butthole's just. clenching as that story went on. how long is it gonna i mean he's. deteriorating. i don't think he's gonna do a second. term second term i. don't see how we can do another year i. don't i i don't really like.

you know i grew up with a seat with a. senior citizen father i just. it goes pretty quick i feel like it's. going right. yeah i do too i feel like it's not a. joke is it. i mean i remember when reagan towards. the end they were. they hit it like we won't be told about. it. reagan was someone was talking about he. was in the plane he's like. they look like little ants down there he. was having to deal with some major. issue with iran or something and he just. was talking about ants.

nancy reagan this was like right after. he was just got out of office he came. home and he would go to a different. office just to be in an office he'd come. home he came home his hand was all wet. and she's like what's in your hand and. he opened up it was from the fish tank. it was a white house a mini white house. with a fish to swim around next to. and he said this has something to do. with me. there's a fish now the white house in. his hand. oh a little one a little white house. from like the fish tank. and this is like get out of the bottom. he took it out of the fish tank it was. like this has something to do with it.

he was like just at office oh wow scary. anyway. almost like everything's fine yeah like. deadliest catch kind of. exactly like that wow. um would that guy want to know oh that. was joe biden sorry. what was his question though i thought. that was a question we actually didn't. play a question. another. mostly bearded i you know what i did. notice the most. blue-eyed fans i'd ever seen were in. ohio.

interesting you have a little facial. hair i wonder if they're copying it. they're like part of your team. that's like the sign no i can ideally. actually have a choke. that's an amazing really thick beard he. has. this man has beautiful hair i would i. can put that on the top. i worry about the top because of the. do-rag i worry that there's. no yeah i think this guy has a lot he's. got that joey fatone. gene patone vibes. i got a question from mr cow den again. guy i was curious.

what's the what's with the voice is that. just a natural-born talent that you can. match your voice to them all them. people's voices. when you're doing impersonations or is. that something that you learn you can. change your voice like you have the. voice of a chameleon. something like that anyway there you go. me and my brother tilting come to this. yeah. here in a rich man oh little tilton. coming up beautiful. bring his little ass out gang daddy. thank you yeah do you think you created. the voices because did you do it when. you were little what did you do.

yeah yeah i would do like uh you know my. teachers and stuff like that yeah. uh would you rate at recess and stuff. yeah i remember i did a talent show i. did some of the. voices of the teacher one time i got. woman to high school. did a talent show and uh someone was. like. my friend's like you should just stand. up there's another example of someone. just telling me what to do and i did it. i look back and i like i. know and i still struggle i had no. impetus to be like i want to do this. i was just told you should just stand up. 20 minutes before the show started. you know you can't do that yeah so. anyway i i just did like impressions of.

the teacher but i got suspended. and dragged off the stage it was my. first stand-up show. because i did do like some stand-up. about it wasn't even that dirty but the. guy before me got suspended so there was. suspend happy. ah i said like something about a cog. that's one by like you know kids talk. about. and then the [ __ ] you said yeah [ __ ] or. something about dicks. that's cool and the host this girl my. age came up she whispered in the middle. of the show she goes. you can't say that miss all that's going. to suspend you it.

stopped the whole show dad and then i. was like. i'm not allowed to say penis anymore and. i started saying other thing and then. they. must drag me off anyway what was my. point um yeah. i did uh i i um yeah. i think um i think part of it's like i. have a long neck. i can i can move my vocal chords really. far and stretch them. i think part of it i think the other. part is um like musically. i think if you have a good ear with like. tones you can kind of match people like.

that. yeah and uh yeah that makes sense man if. you can do the piano. oh and then you can play yourself i was. also very disappearing kind of child. like i. like craig that character i've been. doing that since i was. probably seven years old i have pictures. of me doing that because. it was when my mother would listen to. these other characters this is. working a deep podcast but like she. would listen. she wouldn't listen to me but when i was. someone else she would listen so i ended. up. i think that pushed me he would talk.

about free will i think that also pushed. me a little bit into. i could totally see that like creating. fine in some way to be heard. and to not be yourself do something yeah. yeah i think i got attention. from like kids you have to michael. jackson that was a big one when i was. younger i love this girl who loved. michael jackson she had. michael jackson written on her shoes and. i would do michael jackson first my way. to talk to her. really that's that that that's i just. realized that that was probably huge. for me to like doing impressions you. would just go up to her and do it. or whatever.

she scraped michael jackson off her shoe. and i was devastated like i felt like it. was me she was scraping away. we were remember the first time i ever. touched a boo went to the movies right. and this girl was. jacked my first girlfriend was a [ __ ]. second base on the baseball team i think. oh really. jack and that makes the boobs look.

smaller when she's got big shoulders. right it's a tight boob dude. it could have been a guy it could have. been a guy named susannah. she's beautiful grew up to be a. beautiful lady but uh. at the time she just had these hard. [ __ ] ripping tits. and that was your first experience with. boobs yeah do you like them like that. because it was your first. sometimes that wakes up here now i. remember one time i met this lady in. in uh north carolina and she had. breastfeed they were like malleable. like you could shape them into like a.

and they would stay the diaper yeah and. they would stand no way there's. something wrong with that. it blew my mind. and it was so scary being in her place. because i felt like i was on drugs some. i think i've probably been drinking or. maybe had a little bit of weight that. might have been a breast implant that. was bad. it could have been a bad yeah yeah. that's definitely what it was i think. yeah it's not gonna have been uh you. know. some heavy play-doh in there or. something but it was uh. yammer you could shape it and it would. stay that way yeah you can go to mexico.

and get some weird stuff put in. those lava lamp tits where they kind of. move up and down. yeah yeah it's crazy and glow um. but anyway what was that question there. wasn't one oh. you just leaned over and slid it in. we're making out at the movies man oh i. just got a flash of something yeah. making out at the movies yeah and i. just she had a button up she wore a lot. of button ups okay kind of unique for a.

young woman but. a lot of butt professional yeah yeah she. was a pro. so you leaned did you unbutton you just. slide in between. and she let you and i tried to go up the. bottom but the butt the buttons. wearing pants the texture uh cut my the. the tautness from where the buttons and. the shirt cut my ability to reach. up so they had to go in through them you. must be like look at this guy's trying. to sneak in. they have so much time to just judge us. oh yeah we're making out. hot and heavy dudes yeah god we were.

[ __ ] this is your first boob. oh and you reached down strong well. actually the first breaths ever touched. but it was more. child we were more real real child real. children. this girl they had an electric fence. girl let me feel her head through it. do the electric fence yeah oh wow that's. kind of. you might be into kinky [ __ ] that's your. first experience it was scary man it was. hard and it was risky and i think it. always made me really nervous after that. because it was like. boy that's linked up with sexuality and.

risk because you could barely like i had. to like barely kind of get my fingers. over there and she had her boob out or. just was. over shirt she had like a little sun. dress kind of on. so it was over 009 okay young so it. wasn't a tit yet i mean it was. it was a you know it's still you still. liked it yeah i remember seeing down a. girl's shirt when i was like. seven she was like six and i thought it. was hot somehow at that age i don't know. how. i was like i'm seeing something i wasn't. supposed to oh yeah but there was. nothing there. i was i used we used to watch the movies.

like with friends i had like pretty hot. friends in. in high school it's called leslie gerard. put my arm around her. yeah i wasn't dating her i never had a. guts to like make a move or anything i'm. armored watching a movie. and i i remember like pushing down on. her top boob. here and that was so hot to me. he imagined that being like because it. was still boobs yeah even though it was. like. it's like far away from the nipple but. it was like it was mushy. still counts oh man it's so so.

disturbing to be a guy. somebody needs to answer that clown. phone. i think this thing is ringing off it's. available yeah. i should still have that um man well. we learned a lot today whatever you do. kyle you just have to keep going man we. just need you in the world thank you too. so entertaining to watch bro i love it i. really do feel like i'm doing what i. like to do. that's awesome the only thing is i'm. exhausted but i'm happy that's fine. i don't have a social life at all you. don't really don't man a girl comes.

past weekend like she stayed for the. weekend disaster where'd she go. england what she lives here but she came. back early. she was working in england like her. thing got postponed to the covey but she. flew in. it was really yeah it didn't it was what. was it a disaster. it was so much drama dude i i was. really like my best self yeah you know i. wasn't even me i was like this. prince who'd hold door opens get you. what you want. and i told her before she came i was.

like i i have to work i have this. thing i'm making i don't feel ignored i. learned that like. this girl's like you didn't tell me i. was like don't come if you're gonna feel. ignored i've gotta work and she's like. oh. i've got plenty to do so the first few. days i took off which i couldn't even. afford but i really did like her and it. was going well. and then the third day right when i. started working it was like. i mean she was crying on the couch she. was like she was in the dark at one. point just like sitting in the dark. and i'm like japanese. i see why you asked that but no yeah but.

i would like be. rushing to work because i i just did. till four in the morning she knew i was. getting like an hour sleep and still she. couldn't. some people can't not have attention it. really is disturbing. and i do like the free will that i don't. think she could help it it was just very. uncomfortable for her for me to work. we're such creatures of discomfort it's. a lot of life is balancing your. discomfort really yeah or hiding it. you're going pleasure pain you're going. like how much pleasure could be to how.

much. pain and then you'd make your. subconscious makes a decision that's. going back to free will and then you. think you thought it and you didn't. see that's the part i don't know because. i think there's some free willies out. there man. it feels like it but no that's just the. trick that's the trick. leslie uh nikki glazier was in here. talking about that. oh yeah she loves sam harris yeah she. loves it and so i got i'll investigate. and. see if i can get some feedback for you i. would like to hear your thoughts on it. because i also. don't want to i don't want to believe it.

i don't believe disturbed by it. yeah i had to put the book down like. they did like scientific experiments. where they know. which arm the pers which hand they're. going to raise before the person knows. it. and what is that for pledge of. allegiance. now just experiment oh yeah i don't know. i would always i i usually get the wrong. one and then do the right one. yeah and then they also found people. make up why they decided it. and the experiment is no it's it's.

pretty freaky freaky stuff going on guys. you are a robot you can audiobook you. can you know download it it's not long. i don't know there's some things it's. like why do we allow them to exist it's. like. it's like it's no fun you're right it's. no fun right and having no heaven. i hate not having a heaven although i'll. tell you one thing about not having a. heaven it does make you wake up here. like if this is. it it's almost a crime to not realize. this is it i gotta get busy yeah. you know we've done dmt have you tried.

dmt yet no i'm scared. i want i'm too scared if you try it then. you see what happens when you die so. i i'm terrified you'll be fine uh. you might not i feel like i'm mentally. not you might not. yeah you might want to stay where you. are you're doing good where you are you. might. we need you in this realm okay kyle. dunnigan uh ladies and gentlemen you can. check out craig's news live you can. check out. uh the fresh prince of dc youtube's the. place to go i'm done with instagram. there's no money. and you could you can find theo here in.

a bunch of places. do some other podcasts i would love to. do more yeah this has been a great chat. and also our i think our fight idea is. not something that should die. here this should be something we talk. about yeah maybe in the comments you. guys could put other bouts that might be. good who would you like to see i would. love to see bobby lee this. doesn't have the physical acumen anymore. he wouldn't do it. and his body's fading fast i remember we. can't have someone drop dead that's be. the worst thing yeah they don't have to. be comedians maybe we just start like.

our own. fight club that's like funnier or it's. more like. because these things are no fun you know. you see lamar odom and what's his name. fight that kid. nick carter aaron carter we could. probably just contact these people and. be like here's a hundred thousand. dollars. you know these fans want to see it. that's a lot of money it's a lot of. money for like. someone like who was on save by the bell. or something and want some money like. elizabeth. dustin diamond but elizabeth's still. alive but. yeah they said aaron carter and lamar. odom just be i mean this was insane bro.

wait who aaron carter's nuts who's. wait a minute the reach is insane. oh he's six feet he's not that short but. jesus has an 11. inch reach advantage i worry about. lamar's heart to be honest. when did this happen how did i miss this. lamar does have coke but it was like two. weeks ago no one knew. it's no one knew how many views does. this have. let's see this look at this little twerp.

he's six feet. [Applause]. oh my god he's throwing bombs oh it's. one little flick. that did nothing to lamar though huh i. don't know lamar is that [ __ ] coke. dude i bet it did. now he's now i started getting real now. it's over this is a hate crime. he's six feet tall that's a hate crime. he's seven feet who's six feet aaron. that's what it says. aaron looks like he's he is six feet he. looks five feet tall there.

now he's just on the run oh my god he's. got an answer to that. he's got the low pants even with on the. fight see that's the uh. who's who's hotter you think out of. these two guys no homo. lamar or aaron harder that's tough it. depends what they're doing to me am i. am i doing something to them or am i. receiving both you guys you're not even. around them it's just. yeah this isn't a date dude it's just. like you see them somewhere. or just they're both they're swimming i. mean you're talking about are their.

head gears blocking their face but i. would body wise. no just i'm not talking about them. overall. who's hotter out of these two man who's. hotter and i don't care who is. wait wait is there more fighting i hope. that it that was it. they ended early i thought lamar's had. her i mean he guessed he destroyed it. but we could have something like that. yeah we host it. would i host it we hosted it you and i. got to know you and you'll host the.

fight. um they were big they a big head gear. like it's still funny then they won't. get hurt and it's still funny to. who would we get to fight we could have. the the fans we could just ask what they. want to say because. there's a lot of people like b. celebrities that you don't see anymore. but. you know someone who's on full house or. something that they need money right now. you give them money. they go in the ring we get 90 just. kidding. and then kimmy gabler versus like. elton john's son yeah magic johnson's.

son. i think the audience will come up with. some really creative people. sending videos to tpw with your. suggestions yeah because if they come up. with. because we could call this person up or. dm then be like look you want 100 grand. right but how do we make the money so we. can pay them we do the we do a live show. we get we rent out a little area for the. ring we. rent a ring that'd be easy to do it'd be. easy. but say then how do people buy it they. buy it on pay-per-view so we advertise. we could do one of those live shows. things like they do we advertise okay so.

let's say for example we sell. ten thousand tickets right to the live. boxing fifty thousand yeah. okay if you think we can our two. audiences okay say we sell. 25 000 tickets i just want to be safe. yeah okay ten dollars a pop. okay i think you can probably you. probably have more you can get probably. 15 people fighting. their fame that they're they're beloved. characters from tb. you're gonna make 300 grand then so. you're gonna have to pay a hundred grand. to the fighters mm-hmm so that's 50 each.

for the two fighters. you can make 200 you're going to owe. probably 10 percent to the. you can probably have 10 in charges in. like venue and insurance. so then you're down to. 120 and then we got to pay 12 musical. acts. that's true we have to get a musical act. to perform too i can get one so cheap. that's amazing but also now look at this. we need more fights that's only one. fight we need three fights. well the undercards are gonna get it's.

just gonna be for fun they're gonna get. a few couple of grand and maybe the the. the the. they get 30 grand each i don't think you. even need to pay them that. i really it's fun. they'll have a headgear on it's but i. would do it dude anyone cared. i jump in the ring on local fights the. undercard fighters usually they get like. a. 200 but then they get like what about. down and outs. someone who's like needs [ __ ] money. who are you talking about somebody in a. coma. no someone who's just like their wife.

took all their [ __ ] some story we built. this guy needs a. this guy needs five grand yeah and then. we show the clip of him like. [ __ ] my wife that [ __ ] [ __ ] that. [ __ ]. and then maybe it's the guy who cheated. on his wife with him we could give up a. nice little story he's like hey i'm. randall. yeah i [ __ ] his wife i don't care i'll. beat him his ass too yeah i've been. [ __ ] her and i've been hitting her. i could edit that package yeah. dude that's okay now you're talking and. we built it up we can really. put those videos on our whatever yeah.

clips. get a picture you know yeah yeah yeah. i hammered his wife and i'm going to. look into him yeah yeah yeah. yeah colin theo's boxing down and out. down and out boxing. blowout and then there's a prize i don't. know. there's some nudity yeah any nude card. girls. and men and men dude men and women card. girls. and boys they just come out with a dick. so you get children. no we do it in a uh international.

journalism. and it's new children. this is why we workshop now yeah yeah we. got we got more to talk about but. something like that okay. okay we're on to a good idea guys you. can follow find kyle dunham. we'll put his links to his youtube. channel actually we'll put it at the. first loop. the first link to this video is to. kyle's youtube channel please go and. subscribe to it so you can see them yeah. please like let's get that algorithm. let's let's look at allen. yeah you want to see us oh you want to. have sex again all right.

[Music]. cornerstone. [Music]. [Music]. but it's gonna take a little.

time for me to set that parking brake. and let myself unwind. shine that light on me. i'll sit and tell you my stories. [Music].

and now i've been moving way too fast on. the runaway train with a heavy. [Music]. [Music]. now.