Khalyla | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #336
today's guest is a woman that. i mean a woman that really i'd be online. if i said she didn't occupy. one of my aortas a lot of times and. you know she's a very loving lady that. is part of the podcast community. and a wonderful podcast here in her own. right. and she has a new podcast called blood. bath that you can check out. she's a real heartbeat in the world and. we're happy to have her here today.
miss kalylah. i'll sit and tell you my stories.
[Applause]. you're always one of the the comics that. i always felt like. well i like him which is kind of a rare. thing really. thank you i always i mean i think it's. hard whenever somebody sees you not to. be like. you know have some sort of desire. around you or something like that you. know i think you see you i think you.
seem very desirable. i have a question about that yeah. especially to a white man or semi-white. i'm semi-white. does the question of desirability have. to do with who my partner is. like if a guy sees me yeah does the. desirability level go up because he. thinks that bobby is somehow not an. equal to me um. or like let's say i was with like a. strapping six foot four. guy okay um okay like what do you mean.
like uh like a tongan or something. tongan yeah love tongans okay yeah so. you're saying so if you were like with a. big. like rugby player okay yeah yeah rugby. guy yeah yeah yeah whatever. immediately in a guy's mind would i just. be off limits would you be off limits if. i saw you with him. versus you seeing me with my little yeah. my little boiled egg. do you know what i mean like this at. math i mean i just know bobby has. i just i feel like with bobby there's.
more of and i say this only out of. respect i love bobby and. you know i hope i get to be a pallbearer. at his funeral if anything ever happens. too much i hope nothing. he said i thought you were going to say. a wedding. don't please don't wish him that sorry i. would never wish him death i'll kill. myself. i will say this though and i say it out. of love and respect and i tell this a. lot. he is more light you can tell that death. looks for him a little. you know like he's had some of the. addiction stuff he's had. you know he's uh very he looks very.
you know he looks really like a strong. shellfish would kill him. to be honest but what i'm saying is so. when you see my strong shellfish we're. talking like a big lobster with a big. carapace. you're talking like spiny lobster. no i'm no no i'm talking like something. food poisoning. i was thinking that a lobster would. attack him in the ocean. i mean i could see a lobster attacking. him at maybe like a pool like a hampton.
but. uh god you have a beautiful laugh too. but i think alastair attacking him like. at a no i was thinking more him eating a. bad shrimp or having a bad piece of pork. somewhere. oh okay you know especially with you. guys combining forces. of you guys come from a very background. of a lot of street food it's very. popular in your cultures. and so i think that doubles the chances. of somebody well he has an american. stomach. i don't care what his culture is that. thing is not.
steel clad that's not metal clad he has. diarrhea all day long oh yeah. on oatmeal. [Laughter]. he actually looks like where diarrhea. started. if somebody were to i don't know if they. can trace it but i could see. suddenly the fuzz just showing up in. y'all's door i mean taking it down and. bobby's just on the john. you notice looking up he can't get. anything he can't keep anything down it. seems. it's just intractable diarrhea all day. long it's unbelievable.
um well you know so here's what i do. think i think when you see a guy. when you see a girl like you with bobby. and i love bobby and bobby's probably. one of my. 50 probably 40 favorite people i would. bet 30. 30 top 30. but you you think bobby is. more. prone to death i think than if i saw you. with like a big six foot guy that guy. seems like always going to live forever. so bobby there's not in a bad way you. know i know i'm sure bobby's gonna live. for a long time. but you just see him as being like oh.
anything could happen he. you know he drives and plays games he. just he puts himself in dangerous ways. so i think. then there's allows a little more room. for who. is going to care for this woman if. something ever happened to him. and not in a bad way but if and so it's. out of love i think that you look and. say okay. whereas if i saw you with some guy like. bill clinton like a young bill clinton. or something. then i think i would be like oh man you. know. even after he dies he'll still be able. to take care of her well i think that.
well i don't know if ghost bobby could. hold you down is what i'm saying. uh i don't know can somebody help me out. here. i think bobby would haunt this [ __ ] out. of both of us yeah that's. true i mean if you're he. i don't know what you're trying to say. theo but you're saying. are you are you in line to catch me. should he die. are you the man to take care of this. woman and. this damsel in distress what is this. like is this a proposal.
no i i this is what i wanted to actually. um hash out with you. okay for some reason i get a barrage of. messages. okay and what does barrage mean that's. french isn't it barrage it could be. just always messages pertaining or. accusatory messages thinking that you. and i are in some sort of. um that you're my side piece that you're. my second. and i don't know where that comes from. because i don't feel like we've ever. talked about it on our podcast or have. we. i have never said anything like that i.
mean i don't know if they. do you feel like there's any attraction. between us or no i. i personally don't think so. but i like you a lot so i said do you. feel like there is i don't mean that in. a bad way. okay here let me try to break this down. in like a really transparent way i want. to be honest. um there are people that i walk past. that i feel like an instant like. chemistry with. i'm not threatened by that feeling at. all i just kind of like clock it. and then you know it's it's it validates.
that i'm human. um i do have it with certain people in. his life but not you. okay okay um you probably a sad sound. do you have any sad sounds cute. because you you feel more like family. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i. know louisiana's not. yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what bobby. always says so here's what i'm saying. is all right um. no i i yeah i just i think that.
i i guess when i look at you and bobby. what was the original question really. if if dudes calculate in their mind some. a woman's desirability based. on who she's with like okay. i don't think you know that's a good. question do guys calculate a woman's. desirability. based on who she's with i think well. some girls you see. and you can just tell a lot of time. some girls i think you see sometimes and. it looks like.
a money type of thing well a lot of. people assume that about me. about you and bobby yeah of course like. that's the immediate assumption which i. think is really unfair because. i think bobby's really cute like i've. always been into short fat boys like. that's my type. yeah bobby's undeniably cute bobby. probably. bobby it's crazy bobby even bobby versus. black baby i'd pick bob. and that's wild you don't use a black. baby one babies are the cutest yeah i'm. saying. paper rocks black baby black maybe wins. every time dude but you do paper.
bobby black baby dude bobby bobby beats. bike baby sometimes man. um so i agree i think he's definitely. that he's that tamagotchi he's one step. past that tamagotchi he's like the. shedding tamagotchi you know he's like. the. he's that living um. he's like dragon ball z. like five z's you know like a sleeping. dragon ball yeah he's. do you watch anime i do watch a little.
bit of it i like to look at drawings a. lot. oh but you don't watch like anime like. i've seen it but when i was in college i. used to watch some of it me and my. friend used to watch some of it and i. used to borrow a lot of his clothes too. i'm deep into this one i think you. should watch what it's called attack on. titan. attack on titan yeah okay i think you. should but. um i'll watch it since you suggested it. but yes bobby is a. clutches how you say i used to say. tamaguchi oh really tamaguchi. gucci is like a rich thing i think it's. like oh it's like. it's like you know it'll leave you in an.
instant dude if you don't make money. do you know that there's a cemetery um. specifically for tamagotchis apparently. and it's in america it's like somewhere. in virginia. where people where you can go and and. basically like. lay your tamagotchi to rest yeah no i. didn't know that. it's a pet cemetery oh i don't even know. that it's cool for like. something digital yeah i remember they. had a bunch of uh there you go right. there. digital cemetery that's probably. good for the environment why not dude.
i think richmond can use anything it can. get right now. um but that's such a good question do i. see. a woman or a man sometimes you think i. think once you get to know them you can. tell if it's about love or not you know. i think that kind of happens you know i. want to know what you thought when. you first met me or even i thought you. guys met online. i mean for sure for sure because that's. what i thought. and you were right we did because i. lived in a i lived. oh an hour away from here i was in long. beach you were yeah okay so i thought oh.
they met. these people met online and. um i wouldn't know those words i wanted. the worst thing you thought about me. oh i don't think it was i never thought. nothing bad like what would i even think. that could be bad like you got a tag bar. or something you were in a fight. i always i always wonder like like you. know when you try to again it's a. calculation thing like. oh she has to she has to be really. stupid or she has to be this.
or she has to have really bad breath or. her her [ __ ] is made of. you know has teeth in it like i don't. know like what dudes think. like when they try to weigh out why i. would be. with my little munchkin look i i mean. i love bobby's one of the best you know. bobby's one of the best comedians that i. he's one of the most. bobby's one of the most entertaining man. that i've ever known. so i could easily see why. a woman would like him i like him i'm. not even a woman.
so i could easily see if i was a woman. why wouldn't why wouldn't i still like. him i would still like him i think. i would not i don't think i'd have sex. with bobby i would feel uncomfortable. having sex with bobby he reminds me of. like kind of like a um. but that's me i'm also a man and he's. neither one of us is a gay man. so i think what i'm trying to say is. that i didn't think anything bad of you. at all i thought. oh wow bobby met this girl probably. online. you know because he doesn't go out and.
do anything so that's the only reason i. thought that. i thought either that he must have met. her online or he got like a. i don't want to say like a postmates or. somebody got a postmates and you showed. up you know he got. hella lucky off a burrito like that's. what i was thinking. and so. that's all i thought and i and then i. just thought oh this is awesome you know. i'm glad that bobby has somebody that's. really cool. and then it's also i mean you're just. nice to look at you remind me of like. the. if they met a female female jungle book.
who would be in it you know mowgli. yeah if they had a female mowgli you. know not too far off from that they. yeah i don't know what the name would be. i don't know what female mo i don't know. what mowgli means what does mowgli mean. can you look that up nick. isn't he south asian so yeah because. there was a tiger involved bagheera. right yeah oh no shir khan so it had to. have been. indian yeah sure the gyro was the. panther. and then baloo is the bear yeah mowgli. means wild child. welcome wild child so i think i thought.
i'd use like a female mowgli type. and then i didn't know anything else you. know bobby i don't see bobby super much. so he's kind of secretive you know. he's like a spy that's not doing a good. job but he's still being a spot he's. hard to get to know. yeah he really it's hard to get to know. you know and and and i know that. you know i think i suffer from some of. the same things he does so i think i'm. also hard to get to know and so. i recognize that about him and he's also. it's kind of like the blessing and a. curse of having so much.
like there's so much going on with both. there's like. it's adult adhd it's an it's also like a. living form of it like never has adult. adhd usually it's non-transferable well. with bobby it's like oh my god. you might catch it. this [ __ ] is going door-to-door right. now. but when you see him he's so he's so. like. he's like this archipelago of uh.
of like [ __ ] and like claire's. boutique. and creativity and like drawings. and nudity and you know. you know everything he's just this thing. of everything. so it's it's very easy to be. enamored by him but also you're so it's. he's so engaging in such a character. that it's almost you want to see. so much you want so much of whatever it.
is that i could imagine if i were him. that it's hard to be a regular person. behind it i think so or within it. especially why would you be a regular. person. when whatever else you are which is also. you. is so rewarding and has been rewarded. that's that's the thing we get into that. a lot because it's like. you know with me like the rule is like. you got to take your mask off at the. door. because i don't really care for like the. bells and whistles i don't care for him.
to make me laugh like that's. like i already know all these things i. know who he is to right the public. like and i think that's where i feel. very. blessed to know a part of him that no. one will ever see. oh yeah because he is just a sweetheart. and the kindest. man most generous person like i've ever. met i think yeah. um yeah he's always surprisingly kind. he's so he. he i find him to be surprisingly kind at. times yeah but he has a hard time. when you need him he's there he has a.
hard time. um not putting on he feels like he has. to be. something every time he walks out the. door he has to put on a performance and. i'm like well no you don't have to not. around like your friends but all his. friends are you guys like. people that you know you have to be. friends yeah and then you also create. this world of podcasting where you're. always doing so you know so. then that kind of like doesn't. perpetuate it it's still. um do you get confused do i get confused. about how about like.
you know because we podcast so much and. so many hours of ourselves are out there. do you ever get confused about like. who you are outside of this like in. terms of like. being who you like authentically are oh. sometimes yeah. sometimes i think so we had a question. that came out and i want to get back to. your question kalo. and we had a question that came in from. oh god right here that's why right here. hey kalala my name's ryan uh my question. for kalila is. does bobby joke around with you a lot at. home and if he does is it easy to tell. when he's joking. oh yeah let me know gang gang blood.
stuff. gang gang is it hard to tell when he's. choking did he say he said joking. always choking by the way i could easily. always the plumbing on the guy. is backed up it's backed up it's back. down it's unbelievably poor. it's like go get him bored out there's. two things that happen every day in the. house. multiple times a day he trips on the. stairs yeah and it was a big ow. i stubbed my toe every [ __ ] day and. there's always. a distant sound of choking oh yeah. and there's always me saying are you.
okay and then him getting mad like this. is just how. i eat like you know not everyone chokes. every time they eat. yeah it's a real art you know i mean the. guy that's the thing and that's why i go. back to he's on the cusp. of i don't want to he's just a risky. he's a re he is he is. he's a shooting star you know he is a. star and sometimes stars shoot. too far and they burn explode it's just.
risky you know what i'm saying. risky behavior he's choking already in. this conversation he's choking he has. dysentery he's probably dehydrated right. now somewhere. and trying to solve it with some type of. a mountain dew right so to answer this. guy's question. yeah i um he. he is not always joking at home he cries. a lot yeah. he's a big crier he cries every day and. it's always about. um an american idol contestant oh yeah. um something or like he he watches a lot.
of like um. um families reuniting oh yeah i watch a. lot of that. like i watch a lot of those air force. dad comes home a lot of videos when i. need to. get up in the morning oh there's one i. want to send you it's a good one it's. about um. two cambodian sisters like like sep. uh they were separated during like the. war during like the khmer rouge. and that was a good one i cried we both. cried for three days but there's not a. lot of joking a lot of crying at home. oh that one the second one families. reunited.
it's that one wow it's one of the. biggest tv shows in cambodia oh please. watch that theo. it's so good it's not a dream pulls in. massive. houses beautiful looking reunites. [Music]. this is reality tv with ambition healing. wounds from one of cambodia's darkest. and most painful legacies that's. powerful.
is bobby in this. could be four decades ago. cambodia suffered one of the worst. atrocities of the 20th century are we. gonna watch the whole thing. um i'm gonna nick i'm gonna send you a. video of bobby reacting to this video. that you can.
[Music]. please thank you thank you for that um. yeah what was that guy's question oh is. what's bobby like at home joking. um so what kind of role do you play at. home then do you feel like. um i think i have to be reluctantly and. very begrudgingly. i have to be the responsible adult. because i. i don't want to be a responsible adult. all the time like i want someone to. i want to be reckless and i want someone. to be like hey don't do that. yeah but someone's got to be it so i got.
to put fi. we've had so many close calls in terms. of like fires. because he just flicks that cigarette on. you know fire season and. i've had to put out fires at home that's. why i think when you see you with bobby. or whether it's a big tongan whoever it. is. it's not whoever that man is it's just. like. oh how is she gonna survive when this. guy. gives into the avalanche the food. poisoning. not too racist but the typhoon or the.
you know bad moon rising or whatever it. is or the tiger in the. woods you know how does it end for this. guy. this risky guy i bet you he's a. cockroach i bet you he lives 20 days. without a head-on. yeah that's who he is i'm surprised he's. not in a baby bjorn when you guys walk. into a place that you don't have in one. of those things. you know oh if i could i would yeah i. absolutely would. but um yeah so anyway yeah i don't know. how i don't know if rumors came up that. we. there was some sort of connection but.
i'm glad that maybe people read it maybe. people read something we're not seeing. and. um i don't know i i get a lot of those. messages do you. in fact um when you tagged me yesterday. on your story those are the type of. messages that i got. unbelievable well what do people know. you know what do you think i mean. thousands of people have no i mean. they're. just guessing and people guessing and. uh here's this guy from napoleon. dynamite. good afternoon to you theo vaughn and uh.
kalila kay. i wanted to ask you kaleila if uh how do. you feel and cope with all the trash. talking on the internet dude. um because i'd be peeking into the forum. sometimes and a lot of these things are. are mean but they're nice ones too you. know don't get it twisted. a lot of mean things how do you cope. with that thank you hope he is having a. nice one. i think they call his mustache i think. they call it cantinflas. oh really i think so that is a good one. and that's. very traditional huh that is pretty.
traditional. you know the sunshine he's my type he is. hell yeah yeah that guy is my type 100. i could easily do facial reconstruction. don't they do it in the philippines. don't they do that. um they do dr v vicky bellow is a good. one i think. but they do the most in korea korea is. the number one in the world in terms of. like like shaving down jaw lines and. stuff like that. i would get i could do something like. that um trash talking. sunshine that's the that's the tension. right there what's a sunshine. it's a traditional japanese instrument.
oh my god. he could use it for this anchen wait you. talked what the word i just said. cantinflas. uh he said it i don't know yeah when you. say cantinfo said he looks like a. sanction player. [Laughter]. i don't know how to answer this question. besides saying like what can i do. do you stay out of it do you engage with. it some people engage. in the beginning i did because it's like. you can't help but like wonder. what people are saying about you but.
it's like there's i have no control of. it yeah i only have control of like. my friends and family so unfortunately. they are bad and if i were to jump into. that. it would crush my soul oh yeah i can't. live there. always disheartening in there you know. you feel disheartening down in the. internet. so when you think about like if. something ever happened to bobby right. i don't know what are you going back to. huh we're not going back i just want to. finish conversation you know what i'm. saying. and i cuz i forgot to talk about. volcanoes that's why well let's talk. about typhoons.
well any of those things could happen. because philippines is part of the. pacific. rim of fire louisiana is not i know. that's what i'm saying so you guys. just the life expectancy i think. that's the big thing when you see bobby. you say oh how long well he looks like. he's still. 20 years old so you have to take that. into consideration something he's. doing because there are other asians who. are 50 that don't look as young as him. that's true. so i don't know if the recklessness and. the lack of care.
maybe equates to lack of stress. i bet it does probably or um he seems. stress-free. he's neurotic but he's stress-free i. don't i don't know if. that's possible but it somehow is right. now um yeah i'm just thinking like if. some so. but say something or say yeah say bye. went missing you can even say. because he also looks kidnappable a. child a child predator. no one wants those kidneys he's like. he's a smoker they don't want him for. the kidneys they want him for their sex.
hell okay so he's he's being thrown into. the sex trade yeah he's getting in he. gets picked up as a kid you know what. i'm saying he's in this candy store. there's other kids in there some guys. outside of the van it takes three. bobby's in the group you know what he. would thrive in that situation he's done. a lot of meth in his life. yeah so he and that's i feel like he. would be so strategic. i feel like he would eventually be the. heidi fleiss of that sex ring. he would rise up the ranks of being once. you know anally fisted to like the head. of the. yeah champion yeah the champion you can.
see that i could see him. it's almost like a um brokeback meets. fight club kind of thing you know. meets like saving like uh not saving. private ryan but like meets um. [Music]. adam that movie adam when that guy's son. went missing at the mall. adam walsh had him 22 i think it was. called. but um so dan what time if there's. somebody in the podcasting. world that i would that you feel like. you would have to shut. up not shack up jesus christ that's. respect for yourself saving silverman.
right saving sovereignty who would that. man like who is the man is it a brendan. shaw type of guy. would you then you think you have to. gravitate towards like. this like burlesque kind of like. um ambient sound of a man. gun to my head because i would not date. a single comic for the rest of my life. and that's a fact look i could get a new. job. i could easily open up a bouquet shop.
okay i could help okay man. easily you know i'm just trying. to get you to say that. if something ever happened i could buy. you a malt. i look i would i would put you on a. trial. period okay okay and it's just for. friendship. it's for friendship so that we would. cohabitate in the same house different. beds different rooms do all that.
and then i'd see how you'd function. right and then. eventually i would see you would really. have to prove yourself. i would not be able to um but that's. okay that's all i want is the chance to. not be able to prove myself that's all. but you know what you might. if you were willing to. because bobby doesn't eat ass at all and. i love certain. certain things that he doesn't he's not. into so if you were. inclined to do stuff he wouldn't or fill. some holes. okay you might i might.
consider cohabitation oh wow okay. so i guess i better. practice the brown cow work. i don't i'm not like a chronic i don't. love it all the time but like. you know three times a year oh yeah yeah. yeah you mean holidays. holidays yeah yeah yeah some stuff i. think are on the holidays they're real. real nice man. especially if people are everybody. showered up and everybody's in a good. good mood you know i could see that you.
put on some easy listening. yeah what type of music do you listen to. if you think you have somebody kind of. chewing on your butt. you use some kenny rogers or something. no i don't think i'd want anything. aggressive so it would have to be like. vashti bunyan. if you can let's imagine this and see if. this feels like it would be okay for you.
is this a new thing you're into theo the. shinsen no i. uh i just know about it i don't know a. lot of instruments but i know. just close your eyes. were you thinking that you are like on. all fours are you laying on your back or. how does this kind of go. i'm not into exposing my [ __ ] on all. fours in that way. it's a little bit too um so i'm on my. back. okay possibly on my side even i like.
being tipped over. oh wow i feel like this is what. most of my yoga classes sound like so. but you gotta let you gotta rely. gotta get away from that. this sounds like vashti banyan there you. go. [Music]. yeah i think i think i can do it yeah. yeah yeah that's cool thank you nick. um yeah i mean i think a lot of that. just kind of remains to be seen you know. i'm open to a lot i'm opening. some different sexual proclivities for.
sure but um. it just has to be you know the time it. just has to be kind of the timing has to. be right you know. i've never ever pictured you in a sexual. way like something because when i meet. anyone when i look at everyone. what do you picture me doing i i picture. you fishing. somebody told me the other day that they. i always. they i remind them of lieutenant dan but. if he still had legs. wait lieutenant dan was a hot even on a.
wheelchair i would have. the prosecution rest sir. so i picture you fishing a lot okay i. like to fish. i think because i saw like one instagram. picture of you with like a tiny little. fish. uh that was a decent sized bass that was. a 3.25 ounce bat. pound bass and yes i was late caught. proud of you. i also picture you in maybe on the. toilet. um and i picture you.
um to pee or to do number two you think. i think number two. oh wow yeah but i i when i look at i do. it but not a lot. i poop probably twice a week are you. serious yeah do you take magnesium. huh yeah i do for my brain do you take. do you drink enough water oh yeah i have. water all day. you eat your greens you know the human. body is how much water nick 96 percent. yeah about that so baby i gotta [ __ ]. come swim in me you feel me you know. what i'm saying i'm full.
do you shoot out a lot of [ __ ] i'm full. no i don't have any. what yeah like when you shoot are you a. big unloader. yeah how much ejac do i have in me i. would say a decent amount. you know i think i'm getting near the. bottom though does it become less. less and less as you age the best joke i. ever heard some guy. said i don't even know who said it he. said. when i masturbate these days it looks. like two white guys getting out of a. submarine.
hunt for the red october and i thought. that was the best joke ever. here's one of my favorite jokes what's. the last thing you want to hear when. you're giving a [ __ ] to willie nelson. what i'm not willie nelson. [Applause]. [Laughter]. you described bobby's ejac one time as a. pickup truck.
truck that tipped over and two guys. climb out of the passenger window. well there you go yeah bobby does i mean. but bobby also has that very boston. cream-filled style that. you know that like i could just see him. like. i could see a truck hitting him and just. come ejaculation going everywhere. yeah i think he's you don't like seeing. come on i don't really like saying it. that much i just don't. we can say other stuff you could say. ejac.
spray out bust i like stuff like that. more onomatopoeias about him out of p.s. can you say archipelago again. yeah archipelago. [Laughter]. you know the philippines is an. archipelago is it really yeah oh wow. that's crazy i don't even know that. somehow you i know you grew up in. louisiana yeah there's something about. you that feels so familiar to me. like you were like a long-lost cousin. i think it's because i don't know.
but but there is something very familiar. about you i think that's why i like you. i feel comfortable. thank you around you yeah and i feel. like i've always tried to make you feel. comfortable i feel like i always have. tried to be nice to you and your. i love all your group it's that time. it's that time. it's that time to correct your kayak. if you have to you can do it handle it. handle yourself. blue chew is making waves. you know blue chew i've had a nibble on.
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theo that's b-e-t-t-e-r-h-e-l-p. dot com t-h-e-o. this podcast is sponsored by betterhelp. and this past weekend listeners get 10. off their first month at betterhelp.com. theo. um you have a new podcast now bloodbath. i do yes. um with annie letterman and esther. pavilion yeah and they are wild women. and here's a young fella right here this. guy could be indian. hey what's up theo what's up player from.
deerfield beach. um question for auntie kalila. uh what's your favorite part about doing. the bloodbath podcast. with the girls versus tiger belly likes. what are some of the different. things that you enjoy with that also i. think that you should. rescue some cats as well as dogs i know. you've been getting a lot of dogs. cats need love too bring home bobby some. cats. can keep the cats on one floor and the. dogs on another ooh i like that.
i like that guy it's almost like the. sheiks or something in um. istanbul or saudi arabia they're wives. the different wives get different floors. of the home. first wife where it goes where the first. wife i think probably upstairs. first wife is probably exhausted wants. nothing to do but wants the wealth and. the perks of. being the first wife right so i think. they probably get the hierarchy so she. has no. um [ __ ] duties none of the other. stuff she's tired she brought.
young girls yeah young girls game yeah. um. the difference between doing a podcast. with bobby is that like i feel. i don't know like i i feel angrier. when i'm in tiger belly because we just. have bobby and i have that sort of like. antagonistic sort of like rapport i. guess if you can call it that. yeah yeah yeah with bloodbath it's like. they're girls. right i feel a little bit like i can. play around. i don't know i don't know how to explain.
it but um i'm definitely two versions of. myself. i have absolutely two versions of myself. on those podcasts yeah. yeah i can relate to that i think it's. the same for me with this and uh king of. the sting. it doesn't feel like me it feels like me. but it's just like a. crazy version it's like i'm at a. nightclub right right. you know it's like i'm at a shitty. nightclub in jacksonville you know. jacksonville bob why do you why does. everyone have no it's actually tampa. bobby always has stories about. nightclubs in tampa and florida. oh there's a cause they'll put a.
nightclub anywhere there you know you'll. have like a olive garden. you have a nightclub right next to the. zoning in that state. is unbelievable you have a mortuary next. to a strip club next to they're selling. but. bass boats you know it's like i mean you. just can't even decide if you want to. die or freaking you know. get up early for some redfish it's just. like the the choice is there they just. there's no differentiating between. anything they'll have a kindergarten. um right next to a graveyard you know. they just don't there's no.
big plan i think in florida and i think. that's what florida was supposed. to be it was like it's just kind of like. this catch-all. of the united states you know um but. um i wonder what it would be like if you. were my second. if i was your second husband yeah you. planted this seed in my head. and you know i have lived with two men. before no i didn't know that. yeah before i met bobby my last. relationship was with two people we. lived together. two white men no um one was filipino. salvadorian.
oh wow and the other was he was a black. guy and phil siles huh damn. and a brother yeah wow. why why do you what uh and where you. were you doing there you were just. living with them were you. paying rent yes i was paying rent okay. but wife number one no wife number one. boyfriend number one. for number two he had he slept in the. same room as me the number two because. he came in. a little later into the relationship was. um in a different room who's that the.
brother. brother of my the black guy the. gentleman black gentleman no no he was. my five-year relationship oh he was the. he was the number one. he was my number you guys brought in. that salvador in a pinch hit everybody. yeah. look that's wild i mean i wonder if. we're getting more into stuff like that. you know i think one thing is. disappearing a little bit in the world. or at least there's. they're leading us to believe it is. disappearing is like ownership. of things um i you know i.
while i agree with that i do think that. because i have friends who are in open. relationships. throuples all of these things for me. personally. it's emotionally exhausting i could. never be in that position again. because i thought you know my young self. i was young i was in my 20s i was like. this is so exciting. you know i get to have sex with two men. at one time. but then there's life after that and. then now you have to deal with. feelings there's you know you have to. cook an extra batch of food.
oh yeah like there are things. logistically it's exhausting oh yeah. so the sex for the 10 minute sex is just. but a blip in that entire picture. yeah i mean you almost need a damn. merchant marine it sounds like to help. keep things you know like to supplement. you know the food everything the. logistics is definitely a lot. yeah um yeah i can't imagine i don't. think i wonder if i could have i can't. keep one girlfriend i don't know if i. could keep two wives. you know but i would have to just get. really really honest with them.
and say look this is what's going on you. know. and that's where i kind of struggle with. women is just that communication up. front. the upfront communication they call it. what do you mean like. just telling them how things are. probably going to be up front somewhat. well why don't why do you have to tell. someone up front why can't they just. why can't you figure it out as you go. because. what you're saying today might not apply. three months down the line. certainly not how you feel right yeah. not how you feel but just like some of. your just be. your behaviors that sort of stuff you.
know like again but that changes. right so it's like i don't need a. disclaimer right out the gate i just. don't need you to lie i don't like. declarations up front. because i think declarations are a red. flag i am this guy i am this kind of. don't tell me who you are just like let. me find out who you are. slowly you know because that's that's. more. like applicable to like that's. ultimately what's going to. you know um um. that's how i'm going to decide yeah what.
if. i just wish i had like a family to give. a woman before we met you know what. would that pamphlet say. i would probably say good morning at the. top for sure. and then let me think it would say good. morning and then it would say. uh thanks for reading this i. am happy that you're here and i'm. looking forward to the possibilities. um i would like you to know. that i don't communicate super well a. lot of times. but i'm trying to work on it so if you.
see. opportunities to help me work on it. please help me. um what else i have. i'm a one stripe white belt also in case. anything gets out of hand. i can't i i can't. definitely help it i could try to help. um. what else uh i'll do my best with sex. not making any big promises. um i like to be indoors and outdoors.
i like to go out of town and stay in. town. and i like to eat two meals a day those. don't seem like difficult things that. someone would have to deal with except. for the communication part but. what do you have trouble communicating. like feelings. things matters of the heart i think so i. think i do have some stuff like that you. know. so that's why i think i just need like a. i think i just yeah i just need to have. i just need to step up and.
do better at it you know okay like when. was the last time you've. been vulnerable and said like you know i. love you. like when was the last time you've ever. like been that way with a woman. like have you felt extremely vulnerable. around. a woman it's probably been a little. while i've had some vulnerable. conversations but. i tend to i think then kind of not try. to have them again sometimes you know. even though i think that it's good you. don't feel freed from it you feel. exhausted or do you feel like. look what you're being vulnerable yeah.
um. no i feel freed from it it's just hard. to get to that place to do it sometimes. it's hard to really just do it you know. it's hard to do it and sometimes there's. just so much going on especially in our. lives. and i can never work out just you. answered your own question. but that's insane i feel like i mean. that even with uh i think i gave the. wrong answer then because. i just feel like that's crazy. okay bobby can die any day can you see. if bobby's alive right now is there some.
sort of tracker. it's just dominoes is a good thing for. bobby. i need i need someone to pour their. heart out oh i'll pour it out. i'll pour it out in a damn dog bowl for. you i need to know i need to know. i need to know all your innards. everything about it. see i think i get scared to say i think. i i i think i just didn't know you can. do that i think i never been like a. relationship i knew you could do that. so i think it's harder now with a lot of. people you meet because it's like.
i don't know man like people are really. reckless with other people's emotions. when it comes to dating and situation. ships like. it's so gray i don't know if i were to. ever jump back into. dating someone should bobby croak yeah i. would say. parish i feel like perished heroes. parish and bobby is a hero and i do want. to respect. him for all that he's done and. everything that he's been while he was. alive. i'd be i'd be helpless i wouldn't know. where to start i wouldn't know because. like. that's why you need to know in advance i. think some light outlines.
of do you go for a guy like brennan shaw. do you go. for a um chris de stefano. you know wait chris destefano is a. little bit gay right. yep i'd go for someone like him i love. love. love like sexually like fluid people. okay okay so the idea of him possibly. salivating over another man turns me on. okay okay. um so he's probably out then so who else.
dude i'm trying to think. um wait who who i'm sexually attracted. to. just right out the gate is jamar. neighbors yeah. 100 bottom line that's just he's just my. type there's something. similar to the bobby the the vein of. being bobby. there's something really oh that. androgynous kind of like. because jamar was kind of like he kind. of wears whatever he says. he's just like the free he's a free bird. yeah he's like a young bobby to me. wow um so total opposites i feel like.
bobby has that exact same hat. oh yeah that's true and i have it framed. in my home of him wearing it. yeah it's crazy i mean it's just i think. the level of uh. the tight it's just you have i mean i. just love the type of men that you love. and i think it's good um i think it's. really good and i think that. i just want to know i just want i just. feel like if you see a woman.
with a man then you think as a man you. think. i think the first thing you think oh. that guy's not going to be around longer. he is going to be around long. i think that's just a natural thing. that's like nature maybe that's what you. and i. think because we come from old daddies. right right. we're both products of really old sperm. oh yeah that's true so maybe we think so. we think about. dad's dying a lot yeah right that's true. i didn't think about that. and i think just just from a genetic.
standpoint i. just don't think you and i would should. have kids together. two old spermies. we shouldn't we could have a kid that's. like 60 years old. how great would that be. like a benjamin would yeah i think so. yeah i think you and i can make one yeah. oh that'd be amazing if we gave birth to. first senior citizen. and it's brian gallon.
that would be the best dude he would do. it just have a new credit in town. oh i was on season one of kalila's. vagina. and bobby i want you to know i i look. we're just having a conversation here i. you don't think anything's been. inappropriate here do you no. he would laugh at all of this see that's. where i feel someone's like scared about. talking about stuff because sometimes i. just don't i think in the world no one. ever told me what's appropriate or. what's inappropriate.
yeah but we've known each other long. enough to know like it's all. you know it's all love it's just again. i'll say the word you hate me. family it's all fun and games and. planning. um no but sometimes like i do wish that. bobby would be a li. a little bit more jealous he just says. he has no jealousy for me. like at all and i think that's why i'm. obsessed with him oh. i would be jealous i think i would get a. tattoo on myself. jealous man for you if you wanted me to. maybe if you didn't want me to i.
wouldn't. and i would let you have the font i. don't do well with jealous people i get. really turned off by it yeah i would get. that [ __ ] but if someone. moved which someone shows like absolute. faith and confidence in me. then it's like i just become a homebody. and i i don't know there's something. really attractive about that when. somebody says absolute face and. confident faith and confidence in you. yeah yeah i could definitely do that. what else we got in it. here's a guy right here what's up theo. this is uh nico from wisconsin sure it. is amelia earhart i know who this is.
they always do this a lot of missing. people hollering here good to see you. babe. um and i have a question for kalila. who um you know i think we all know she. spends a lot of time with a particular. asian fella and i imagine the people. want to know. when you know little bobbies are on the. way because. i think i think the world needs needs a. few more bobbies. if they didn't have enough already um.
[Music]. you know it's starting to seem like that. house is just becoming. like a dog pound questions about dogs. leave me alone i feel like. you've been dodging the answer to this. question gang gang. have i been dodging this he's onward. brother right there i love his attitude. homer brother you go get it huh. you go get it dude i feel like i've been. very clear about where i stand on having. children i i haven't i do not know. anything about this. the same reason that you fear he's just.
gonna perish. i don't fear it i think he you alone. have said. vomiting diarrhea fire being attacked by. a lobster. yeah so those a lot of things people. don't deal with on a regular basis. also i went to his birthday one time. eating very dangerous food. that was filipino food and the. restaurant was great there was fish. poisoning it was right by the interstate. there was no fish it was a steak house. well some of the steak had fins on it. so it was water steak so anyway i'm just.
saying. there's that's all i'm saying is as a as. a. as a natural being if you see a woman. and a a. male it doesn't matter the ages or. anything you one of the first thoughts. is. okay is that man gonna survive with that. is that man gonna survive it's just a. survival thing. so i think that's what if i saw you with. some like you said some six foot six. rugby guy. you almost feel like oh there's no. chance that that that guy's probably. going to survive that guy could probably.
beat fire. that guy could beat everything because. short people live longer. right but i think that's with short. people yes. if bobby's a safe short man wearing. safe attire wearing things that are. reflective clothing. but bobby he wears a lot of reflective. clothing. yeah you know that he always wears a. construction shirt. but no one understands why he wears but. he wears it all the time oh i do he's. under he's. under construction and his shoes are.
always shining. there's always a reflector but also i've. seen him drive off many times into the. night. with no headlights on and he will. literally while it's loading. shine his candy crush game at the road. in order to see where he's going. so let's just say he lives a risky. lifestyle. can we just say he lives at risk thank. you and that is the answer to this guy's. question. i well it's compounded it's a couple. things but that's definitely one of the. reasons it's like.
i need a little bit more i need him to. prove that he's going to stay alive. and that he wants to stay alive like i. don't want to be a single mom. i don't i don't want to be you know if. you are. if you are a single mom we definitely. have a fun for single moms we are more. than willing to help you out every year. we want to let you know that um but so. you so he needs to prove he's staying. alive. yeah and what else is he started to. display do you start to see some of. those fatherly characteristics. because i noticed one thing that's nice.
about bobby is. like if i text bobby and say hey man i. need this. i need you here i need help i need. something he will get back to me. yes if i text anything else nothing. nothing. radio silence disappearing he told me. one time he asked he told me. he had passed away once which i was like. well you should have somebody else tell. me. because you ruined it uh to get out of. something. but otherwise he is it's odd he's one of. the most reliable guys i don't know.
he is and the guy asked a question. earlier like two questions before this. about what it's like to live with him. and he's never not picked up a phone. call he's never not texted me back. like he just has a bandwidth for very. few people. but those people that he has a bandwidth. for he really comes through for. um but in terms of children that's a. whole nother ball game that that's. another human's life. um he's very good with kids and but in. five minutes spurts. and having kids is not a five minute. game like that is. it's it's a lot and i take that stuff.
really really seriously so. um it's we're going through it in. therapy right now it's like we're trying. to work through. exactly like what my expectations are. you know in a partner should i have like. a child. and um yeah that's something that we're. working through but it's not out of the. question it's just. i just need just a little bit more yeah. i need to see that he wants to be alive. for. at the very least till the kid's 12. right the smoking the you know just the. reckless stuff that you're talking about. and imagine like a baby seat no.
oh you know like bobby would get in it. that's the crazy part literally the kid. would be on the roof. in that little attachment to the baby. seat if bobby would be. in the baby seat that's what i'm saying. like. or like he'd leave the baby at like the. top of the car i just i don't know if i. like i know myself yeah and i don't know. if i could leave the kid. with him with a father like i should be. able to feel confident about that. that's all i'm saying is when i see him.
uh certain alarms litmus papers inside. of my brain. flare up you know ammonia. gas leaks everything they're just a. propensity this. raging this rolling ball this. korean ignatius riley that's just. rolling down the hill this. tumbleweed of perfection that is just. wandering through the. through the existence bringing so much. joy to so many people. is yeah is that's just it's just it's.
risque it's flammable. yes very it's flammable but i think. bobby would be a great dad. yeah you definitely and i see why also. you and bobby make such a good pair is. because. you are this loving nurturing. breast of a goddess of a human you know. you're like this breast of the lord. breast of christ. oh wait didn't you want one of my breast. implants huh. i would i would have [ __ ] i left it at. home i meant to do that oh really. because the last time you were on tiger.
belly you're like let me have one of. your breasts and take it out. i do know it i wrote it down actually in. my diary well you don't have to look. very. well because i've been reading something. else you don't have to look very far. to know that they've been they're done. they used to be much bigger they were. double d's. oh damn i'm so happy that you never. really noticed. that makes me so happy looked at that. thank you i can't even. it's hard to look at anything else but. you're but you you know. and your entirety thank you appreciate. it.
and i love you bobby and i'm just saying. hello just saying hello to you lady nice. to see her here today. um but what i'm trying to tell you. what are we talking about you said you. wanted to talk about volcanoes and then. we strayed. somewhere else. what is the problem here i just went to. a sex and love addiction meeting right. before that oh really. how was it what you've been going or it. was good i don't go as i i think i've. just been. like just trying to figure out with like. addiction and stuff like what is my real.
problem. you know or what where do some of my. real problems stem from i think a lot of. it stems from like connection and stuff. like that like. emotional sex and love addiction like. because like. you know i go to the meetings for. alcoholics anonymous. but i don't i've never had a problem. with alcohol so it's hard to relate a. lot of times when they talk about it. but the emotional side of it i can. relate to tons it's like. whenever they talk about how they're. feeling in there i can relate to all. that when they talk about the drink and. i was so. that i can't relate to yeah i can relate.
to when they talk about how they were. feeling. what about with um slaa slaa so they. talk a lot more about the emotional. stuff. it's a lot of people just talking about. like how they're feeling what was going. on like. um like. like there was uh like a guy was talking. about how. um like relationships and stuff like he. would. always like whenever somebody was like. leaving then they would. activate and like be as lovey as they.
could and whenever somebody was coming. on. they would be as distant as they could. yeah and i notice all the time like i'm. always on this weird kind of spectrum. it's hard to get to like an even place. with that you know like um. i don't know that's a lot of like i. don't know but that kind of stuff is the. kind of stuff that i really dig you know. that's kind of stuff. like when it comes to your feelings i. love that kind of [ __ ] how many times. have you been. in love in your life like truly felt. like considered. this person as oh i could this could be. my life partner have you ever felt that.
or. i think my first love my i was in buddy. in love with my buddy's mom. actually dude and she had i used to. sneak over another hamper it's kind of. crazy. and huff them cups bro she had this big. brazilian i'd hide in there and [ __ ]. huff them cups daddy. and just just smell that thing as hard. as i could man until my freaking lungs. almost blew out. if you see you're doing it you're really. not telling me. what like when the last time you've or. the last. time or how many times you've been like. you know.
not just enamored or like lustful but. really feeling like you could. you found a life partner. uh i you know i there was a girl i was. seeing a girl for a few years that i. think. it was like it was good it was i don't. really brought to the birthday party. yep you all went to the birthday party. yeah i loved her yeah she was great. i just didn't uh i don't know i just. like. i don't know i just my own problems come. into things and i just couldn't really.
commit you know. and i think almost were better as. friends maybe kind of um. yeah but after a while everyone's better. off as friends right after all it's all. friends in the end. no it really is like i i get so annoyed. like i don't know if people are telling. you people are like. when people are like we've been you know. 20 years deep we're still so in love and. we have sex every day. oh [ __ ] that is disgusting dude i'll. tell you this. whoever you are wife if you freaking try. to have sex with me every day i'm. calling the [ __ ].
i will call the damn police on you it. just seems so unreasonable yeah. stay in your room too denise or whatever. your name is i don't even know yet. but that's how you gotta up the role. play you gotta up up up the role play. oh i'll take that broad to damn uh what. is it called where they fight at night. and you eat food in the stands. oh night. [ __ ] blanken that's how i feel that's. basic that's exactly how i feel during. sex that's how my erection feels all the.
time. ah blanken knights in shining armor. medieval times. oh medieval times i will take that lady. to medieval times she needs a little bit. of pleasure you know what i'm saying. and i'll take her to urban night at. medieval times where she they will. get the job done that's what bobby and i. do. we do like um century basic role play. and stuff see that's awesome. we can't be we've been together for so. long for almost a decade like we have to. be someone else for each other because.
the. he's tired of kalila as kalila really. yeah. i don't see how that could happen but. what do i know i'm just one man with a. diary you know that's filled up all the. pages. uh sometimes he needs a brandon. and here's dave portnoy in disguise. right here. let's hear what this guy has to say huh.
do you want some of my coffee oh no. thank you i don't drink coffee. you sure am i. do i look like i need a boost i think. you look nice okay. i mean i think you look healthy and i. think you look like a woman. still no audio i don't know why nick. it's okay figure it out. um yeah you know i think sometimes i get. afraid to like talk with women about. like you think. like yeah i just get afraid to be brave. i think sometimes but i'm also realizing. that now i'm like. you just gotta talk about what you like.
or what you don't like what you feel. like about sexually or anything. or even just like talk to them like. friends and if something builds from. there then great. yeah you know i think i do okay with it. i think sometimes i just like um. [Music]. i don't know it just gets scary i just. have so many i have. just a lot of weird thing just like i. don't know just someone. comforts around a lot of that kind of. [ __ ] but i keep going at it you know i. keep getting back out there. you know i dated a girl recently i think. she was like really cool.
but she was kind of afraid like i don't. know i just was afraid to like commit. and say that i kind of liked her. you know i was just afraid to like hey i. really like you you know like. because i don't know what i'm afraid of. then i guess. today's episode is brought to you by. modify and the last website you will. ever need. you know we have our last website up. right now and i'm glad. oh i'm tired of the other websites i'm. ready for the last one. and i'm on it and we're doing it. theovon.com you can check it out.
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there's a lot to be afraid of yeah like. you know but that you have to figure out. you know there's so many reasons why. someone wouldn't just come out and say. that they like someone number one like. like that you just don't you just. there's so many things that you can't. control after that. yeah but you have to figure that out for. yourself because you know. but but i will say and now i don't know. you in depth in depth.
um i understand you. yeah i think that's why i like you a lot. you are not. a complicated math equation for me like. when i look at you when i listen to you. when i see you around people. or maybe there's just a kindred nature. between us but i get you. yeah and i feel like that about you i. think too maybe that's why i have some. like. affinity for you is because i like that. word. thank you i think we'll just leave it at. that affinity yeah.
um is because i think i feel that about. you i think i. feel and also some of it is just your. people's nature. the filipino people are very yes caring. people. yeah not judgey not judgey a lot of. people. and a lot of them i will be honest have. names like linda lucky. susan but um. uh but also um yeah i think there's just. something about that it's like this. it's like a safe space i think that's. what you feel like a lot of times or.
seem like. you know i've never touched your skin or. anything but i fee. you seem like a safe space so i think. that that's one thing that's kind of. nice about you. which is probably why a lot of people. will be attracted to you and i could. easily see. why you and bobby would make a perfect. fit you know yeah and i think it's good. and that's one thing i think. as i got to know you a little bit better. i was like oh bobby has like a safe. space here and that's awesome for him. you know. yeah i grew up in a very anything should. ever happen to him. god forbid we're not putting that out in. the universe one more time on this show. we're not we had a birthday party here.
for remember mm-hmm. good i'm glad we want him to keep aging. we're like hey congrats on the year. yeah let's keep it let's keep it going i. like that i grew up in a really really. chaotic environment. and so it makes sense for me like. complicated people like don't. it threaten me in any way it almost. feels like. i just want to be around somebody. with that story behind them yeah i don't. want. like when i look at george kimmel love. you george love you to death. yes i i literally would not i could not.
live without george. oh yeah but like i would never date him. because we would just. and i can you can hear if you listen you. can hear george's heartbreaking. congratulations on a new baby but yeah i. could not i wouldn't i wouldn't be able. to because he. grew up in a very steady um. family in a very steady upbringing with. good family good values. a lot very safe very safe yeah you know. the guy is going to put like really put. a freaking gun in your butt.
yeah that's a little bit much but i. tongue tongue tongue. oh i said gun you know what i'm saying. you want ass play [ __ ] i'm just saying. look man. if we're gonna play atlanta let's play. atlanta you know what i'm saying. it's russian roulette and here's. uh dave portnoy obviously again trying. to sneak. back in in his disguise maybe he's going. to give us. a loan good to see you guys. i had a question for you i wonder how.
long into dating somebody. you should start revealing bobby-isms if. you will. weird things about your life because i. find them endearing when people learn. about me but i think most women find. them to be like a super turn off. and my buddies always tell me you should. chill you know. don't reveal who you really are because. i like to do that on the first date over. drinks. um so yeah i just want to know how long. before bobby-isms can start coming out.
into dating and uh he's doing he's doing. he's the bobby-ism that he's doing is. actually trying to do it up front. that's a bobby-ism it's a defense. mechanism i'm going to throw everything. out. there so you have nothing to hold over. my head and i don't think that you are. going into the situation in an honest. way oh god. i've done that for sure let me show you. all the bad things i do i'm gonna dry. shave during this fancy dinner like you. can't do that. because you really are just putting on.
a show and that's not really who you are. right um. so what you're doing is already a. bobby-ism i. if you're talking about farting just. being an overall animal. yeah like that's inescapable that's an. inescapable thing to find out about. someone once you. you know are a couple months deep yeah. um i'm not. into girl hips so if you show up. on the first date and you show me your.
girl hips like six months down the line. that might be a problem okay so that's. something i would like to know on the. first date. and what is girl hips like a um. occipital thing or something what is it. yeah it's not an ox. it's not an occipital thing it's. a pelvic thing okay um i'm i i like a a. v-shaped. body oh yeah i don't even care if you're. super fat or anything i just can't have. grill hips. i'll get my double legs removed for you. like this isn't about us. though but what i'm trying to say is you. hip dysplasia.
like german shepherds oh like australian. shepherds i have a german shepherd i'm. fostering with double hip dysplasia. jesus christ he wobbles do the stanky. leg huh that thing sounds like you can. [ __ ]. work at a strip club it has double hip. dysplasia. dude shave its puss and put it on the. stage that's all i'm saying. but i'm saying you got to make that. money mommy um. yeah it's interesting you know it's. interesting trying to be. i'm just realizing that i need to start. to get to like.
kind of i just need to be more i need to. be. i got to be more with it when it comes. to like any relationships if i want to. have something serious down the line. you know but you're not looking right. like it's something that you just want. to. um you want to stumble like you want. them in the apps or anything like that. like i'm not doing anything like that. i've considered i got on for like a. night one time and i got a little bit. scared. um and i would do it i just. i just want to make sure that like i. just don't want to waste my time that's. what i don't want to do.
i don't want to be wasting my time with. some like thoughts or. you know i mean i'm just i think i'm. done with the whole. escorts thing it's just all of us just. did you do that for a while. i didn't do it for a while but if i. would get wasted or something i would do. it you know or if i would get like. you know you know i had a time a while. like not. like a few months back where i just had. like i was just like in a bad way and i. just got. you know but it never works out with him. it's always like this embarrassing.
it's just always this uncomfortable. thing it's just never. i don't know none of it's ever really. ideal you know but i want to get away. from whatever feelings make me even like. get into that kind of space you know. i have a strong urge to cradle you you. really yeah oh my god. like a strong urge to just like i'll do. a damn front side piggyback. that's what my finishing moves am i. starting to move. but no i i do i do get it it's it's uh. just carry world out but i can't be.
needing cradling forever you know i also. need to be able to cradle myself you. know. yeah so that's one of the things is i. have to be able to parent myself enough. in certain situations where i'm. like uh managing myself well you know. and for the most part i do. you know and nothing's perfect and. nothing's linear you can't be with. someone codependent either who thinks. that they have to fix you. right because that is just a recipe for. disaster because that's what i was for a. really long time in bobby's life we. weren't exactly like super healthy in. the beginning either. yeah because i'm somebody who's always. like what can i do like really.
yeah like i'm i always want to this. thing that hangs over my head a lot i'm. like if you're not enhancing someone's. life like what are you even there for. and so i felt this like pressure to just. make sure that he was always okay. doing well feeling well and and then i. kind of left myself. behind a little bit i could see that i'm. like but it not. it's nothing he did it i did to myself. like i put those expectations on myself. and. that's that's a really dumb thing to do. so you can't be with someone like that. either because i feel like.
you're not you're going to want out. immediately yeah i might. i certainly might this lady right here. seems like she's great eyebrows. what's up theo what's up kala mommy it's. kyla. i am coming to you guys from abbotsford. british columbia canada. we're about an hour outside of vancouver. okay uh i'm coming to you with a [ __ ]. marry kill today for kalila. but before i get into it i just wanted. to let you guys know uh how much i love. you both theo i saw you when you came to.
vancouver in 2019. can't wait for the border to open so you. can come back you guys have been really. getting me through the pandy. like i said i live in canada and my. husband lives in washington. so it's been a long year oh wow romeo. and juliet. like that can't wait for it to end um. you've gotten me through some really. rough spots so i just have to say that i. love you guys and thank you so much for. doing what you do. uh the [ __ ] marry kill i have for kalila. is between. esther theo and annie and whoever you. kill i want you to tell me how you do it.
thanks so much guys gang love you i got. them in there. i will say this also uh it's like. snoqualmie oh. and vancouliet that was a little. border i love things you do. yeah oh that's crazy i think snoqualmie. would be a cute name for a child. actually. snow for sure oh so cute come here come. here. a little child my child would have. scotch. my childhood have an accent i can't wait.
to i mean it could if your child wants. to. i think children are going to be able to. do whatever they want they said in two. years you'll be out of a black child. even if you're not even black. that's going to flip whole blm [ __ ] on. its head fam. when i show up with black [ __ ] one. black leg one strawberry leg dude. it's on let's go. but yes let's get back to your question. thank you very much and i'm sorry you. and your husband are dealing with these. discrepancies right here. right so [ __ ] marry kill [ __ ] esther.
annie and theo. oh god this is so hard and she really. shouldn't have to put me in i feel like. we've i feel like i i don't want to be. like. you do you don't feel like i've been. flirting with you do you no do you feel. like i've been flirting with you. i don't think so i i made a mistake. about saying like considering like. uh to a throuple and i have regrets. but i don't feel like we've been. flirting no i just don't want to be. inappropriate with my friend's. girlfriend let me put it to you this way. yeah if i. felt you were ever inappropriate with me.
i would have never been i wouldn't do. this [ __ ]. with you thank you thank you very much i. love you so much i have so much respect. for you. i'm saying like a brother same same same. what i'm saying is. you [ __ ] marry kill [ __ ] marry kill yeah. just kill me just kill me please. no let's let's let's be authentic about. this there's you don't they don't have. dicks. okay and i'm not into [ __ ] so i would. have to [ __ ] you. all right like that that's just the.
bottom line. look logistics is the logistics. and taxes facts fam because i love them. so equally annie and esther for many. different ways i'd have to just kill. them both i'm not marrying anyone. wow i'm marrying myself oh god is my. girlfriend or. or i'd marry both of them and kill no. one but that's not fair right so i just. have to kill them both god. we should do it what if we did a dating. advice podcast it'd be interesting i. feel like.
ah i feel like i'd give all the wrong. advice i'd be like yeah throw in a. fourth person. in there throw in the fifth yeah yeah do. music. what's that instrument yeah the same. [ __ ] attention. [Laughter]. dude it would be a good show though. wouldn't it george you think. oh yeah that's just strictly dating. george or not. uh yeah oh wow there he is and what. about um. where do you see george in enough does. he have a wife george yes i do.
oh you have a child too huh as of two. and a half weeks ago wow. brave boy congratulations man. damn you guys are moving forward every. year's podcast. we're struggling nick nick's been. shaving nick shaved earlier. he's been sleeping here at night. you look good nick oh thanks and i love. that you have a gap because i have a gap. tooth. you do i used to have a gap i could. easily get it back jamar neighbors does. the gap. he does my [ __ ] could get stuck in his. head.
that's what i dream about every day. when are y'all gonna grow up. that makes my penis hurt when you say. that. i would i could never tell it's his face. if i ever saw jamar neighbors i would. just figure it out now. i would just have to look away oh no you. wouldn't. no you wouldn't what you should make is. a small clitoris you could sell to. people after shows i don't have a. massive clitoris.
i didn't say you did and i would never. accuse you of that and i would never. even imagine you having that well. if i had imagined it it's just not. something it's not like. it's nothing to write home about it's a. very i have a very very like average. [ __ ] very run-of-the-mill [ __ ] rotm. the avery rotma. puss there's nothing like you couldn't. pick it out of the lineup it looks. very just okay yeah like girl next it. just. yeah you know i wish i had more hang i. wish i had like just either direction i.
wish i had more of yeah. oh yeah yeah yeah we all want more we. all want this and that everybody's got. something here's a guy he's probably. been in. the military looks like or witness. protection this could be the kickoff of. your relationship advice but oh. okay here we go hey theo hey kyla. a big fan of you guys just wanted to get. your advice on a recent development i. had. i recently got left by my wife. for another woman completely blindsided. had no idea.
uh yeah i guess i'll just look for any. advice you guys would give. as i move on to this next chapter of my. life. gang brother gang man well first i want. to say i love you man i'm sorry you're. going through that dude. you know it's i think it's brave you. just say it just say it in a. open forum like this and just to share. it you know um. man that just sounds heartbreaking. especially if you didn't know. uh kalila being blindsided is. my my nightmare my biggest fear is being. blindsided.
i always tell bobby give me six months. notice i don't care. if i i don't even care to try to win you. back in those six months. just don't come home one day and say. we're done without giving me. giving me a chance to talk about it to. see what i've done wrong. so i completely feel you this guy is. i can't imagine that kind of pain um. but it in terms of her leaving you for a. woman. like that shouldn't be a shot to your. ego at all it just means that.
she was into both or maybe she's just. coming into this realization about. herself um. i um i have nothing to say. besides i really feel for you because. that's my biggest fear. yeah if bobby were to blindside me i. would. not just murder him i would ground his. body in a blender. and eat it and then [ __ ] it out into his. brother's mouth. oh i've seen it by the way his brother. yeah like that's what i would do that's. the rage that would consume me. his brother could use the meal first of.
all. and uh or and also some some vitamin d. and god bless you steve yeah i can't. wait to come back. yeah in the episode he was just in here. oh nice and um. wait did the whole drama get resolved. it's uh. it it was a wild i guess he was crying. outside the building. oh he was but it's you know it's life. man everybody goes through different. stuff and we love him and. just hope i'm the best for him i was. texting him earlier but here's what i'm. saying is this fella. if she left you for a woman yeah you got. you can't be like.
it's a bummer but you weren't even. playing the same game you know what i'm. saying you're playing metal gear solid. and she's doing you know she's mario. kart. it's like you know you're late it's just. you're not even. it's like it doesn't help any but at. least yes she didn't leave you for a man. and plus this is what's supposed to. happen i hate to say it but it's just. like. whatever's going on is what's supposed. to go on you know so. it's like this is where you're at now. and. you look decent you look semi-decent at. least on this video.
and um yeah i would get a little bit of. sunshine maybe and. and get back out there and meet a decent. woman what do you think kalila. i don't think that you should run out. there and [ __ ]. [ __ ] the first girl you see no because i. feel like that just makes things worse. emotionally. i think that men don't have don't. necessarily like to ruminate and sit on. feelings. but sit in it wallow in it get to know. it get to know it so well that it. doesn't hurt you anymore. wow it becomes a familiar thing that you.
feel and then. a familiar thing you expect to feel when. you wake up in the morning and. one day you'll be like oh i feel it a. little bit less. and you know that's just the name of the. game it's why theo. doesn't want to get close to women yeah. it's easier man i don't know what you. were doing and maybe like. maybe it's a good time to see you you. probably could learn a lot in this you. know. you can probably learn a lot about. yourself you know see what things you. were doing good what things you weren't. this relationship just wasn't supposed. to be the one for you you know at least.
not now. she's out there on a different horizon. man you know. she's uh she likes ladies and so what. you can't do is you can't be a woman. and sometimes earth-shattering things. are so. valuable like i this is going to sound. really corny because i do peloton but my. instructor the other day said this she's. like on the other side of that pain is. the growth right it's just on the other. side of that. um and i usually hate like instagram.
mantras of that sort but it makes sense. yeah and it's necessary and um while i. feel for you. i also congratulate you on the growth. yeah man yeah the discomfort that's. where it's going to be wild man. is when you're feeling is taking control. of that discomfort when you feel bad go. for a run go do some things to keep your. spirits up you know this is a great. chance for you to really babysit your. own spirit. or or if you don't feel inclined to go. on a run and you want to cry it out for. a week. you get fat for a week that's okay too. whatever it is yeah or cry and run dude.
like i said. you cry and run oh i would listen to oh. town because i want it all or nothing at. all oh my god literally i loved old town. what happened to them face off like i. was cutting weight for a fight. cause i want it all yeah nothing. at all when the snow were left. to fall and you reached. oh my god i love the hotel wait that. they didn't sing that abercrombie song. that was. lfo oh yeah remember that yeah that was.
too much but there you go right there. ashley parker angel let's look at. go down a little bit there's a picture. of him with a skunk what is that. oh my god he's a fit spell model now i'm. busy what's that one picture over there. with the. semi-nudity is that yeah with his with. his um. raging bone does he have a. oh my god is that trevor panic. i'm joking shout out trevor penny man.
trevor i love i see him sometimes and. uh i saw ashley not too long ago at my. friend matt's birthday party. oh he's doing well he used to do one of. the best impersonations of. john fitzgerald not john fitzgerald. uh who was the guy that was in hey uh. don't you want to go no i don't know. american references. would you want to go to the dance. tonight i don't know american references. oh hey we'll be in the back huh dice. no no no no it sounds like dice no it.
doesn't uh. hey we'll be uh here sure babe. you know what i'm talking about the. movie grease lightning oh. john travolta travolta. john travolta he used to do the bet one. of the best john travolta person he. could have just said scientology. or you know if i was doing tom cruise i. would have said that. no but he's a scientologist is he yeah. here's his son right here. lon travolta theo and kalila it's.
patrick from melbourne. just a question for the lovely lady. whether there's something about. the philippines that you really miss. which america doesn't have. uh and theo bro love the podcast huge. support for us soul. have found them getting rejected from. women a lot more since listening to it. but hey man that's life daddy gang gang. it is brother welcome welcome to the. club. but hey let us know when you do get a. dame bro we support your wins over here. this past weekend baby. um that's a great question and shout out.
australia. and when's bobby going australia when. are you guys going is there a tour plan. i got to ask right now is there a tour. planned ever for you guys. there's a story about this i couldn't go. back to melbourne for a long time. because there was a boy who wanted to. kill me. oh my god that's sucking sexy man. he literally actually threatened my life. because when um he was the last guy that. i briefly briefly dated before. getting with bobby and he did he did not. take it well.
and um there were lots of we're okay now. so i think that i can safely. head back to melbourne yeah um but but. yeah that was. that was a situation for a long time wow. i i and he comes from like a a family. prominent family uh with. connections so i really believe the. threat i thought i was gonna be. um yeah fish bait fish food. but fish food's almost the ultimate. romantic finish for a filipino i feel. like. let me see let me think about that back.
into the tank of the lord. no i don't want to be fish food really i. want to be the apex predator would you. rather be fr. imagine you want a uh would you be fried. or something at the end how do you want. to go. i really really really love um. this thing called dangit it's like fr uh. it's dried fish oh god and it smells. real strong it's real crunchy and you. eat it with vinegar and a little bit of. chili and rice. real good stuff that dang it that dang.
it yeah. um but i forgot what his question was. nick oh it's uh i don't see how. you are can even remember anything. around each other what you liked about. the philippines. oh or what you missed yeah what do you. like about the philippines. i honestly miss the people i do too and. i don't even know him. and i believe that now after talking to. you i believe that maybe my soul mate. could be a filipino woman. or semi-filipino or maybe from the. azores. azores is a is a place.
or british or maybe not british but like. uh. portugal portugal actually no. yeah i think filipina um the thing i. miss most about the philippines. susan lucky linda i have. go go further we have cinderella apple. twinkle those are. the names yeah all girls i grew up with. manny pacquiao named his daughter queen. elizabeth oh that's beautiful. that is beautiful see that's what i want.
in my life who doesn't want to queen. elizabeth because i'm saying filipinos. are someone alone. chipotle is your girlfriend you know. that during the pandemic a filipino. named their kid. coveted bryant oh that's awesome that's. a real name on a birth certificate. see that's what i love about filipinos. it's just like a beautiful wander. through existence it's not this de it's. not this every day doesn't have to be. this death defying act you know. here's a video right here you had to. pick one person to be the ambassador for. the human race to meet aliens who would.
it be. oh this is good i'll probably pick. um probably a filipino dude i'm really. patient about filipinos. they're happy they're joyous they call. them the smiling people somewhere on the. internet. and um and every filipino i meet they're. real gracious they do a lot of senior. care centers hospice. so you don't [ __ ] who else you gonna. send out there dude. you know what i'm saying a [ __ ] drunk. you know. somebody from scotland knows somebody on.
coke you can't do any of that you got to. send somebody who. is caring i think oh that's sweet. filipinos all the way there's nothing. when you go. because you're gonna come with us the. next time we go right okay and who's. us us bobby the family. i'd love to go um are y'all gonna go. yeah we went there two years. george went there really yeah oh yeah. wow. people are not not just nice and i. shouldn't say that because you know it's. like there's a long history of like us. being like held down and colonized by.
spanish for 300 years so. there's there is like a colonial. mentality of. we are less we might be less let's kind. of you know revere. the white man a little bit but so while. there is that. there is more collective joy in that. third world country than i feel in. america oh. in a heartbeat especially in los angeles. though like if you get out of los. angeles i think you feel. there's a lot more comfort out in. america than there is here. i believe that maybe i i i haven't been.
around. america a lot like i'm an la kid i love. it here it always. has always felt like home and that's. what i don't like the misconception. about la. is that hollywood is la right all my. friends don't belong in that industry. all my friends. are they have regular jobs they're like. that's how that's why like my heart will. always belong here. yeah because it wasn't until i met bobby. that i was introduced to this other. part of l.a yeah and there's a lot of. delusion. and a lot of um right right yes.
yes does get a bad rap that because it's. just hollywood yeah how it has the most. control over the media and the power. stuff. but you go on like what's the podcast. with david sow and uh. jk news yeah you go on jk news and. immediately that's where. that's one of the first places i. realized oh my god there's a ton of. people who think just like i do. who are different cultures who aren't. hollywood-style people. who are [ __ ] awesome and this is like. la. like this is a vibe of people that's. more like l.a yeah and it's unfortunate. that like let's say for instance someone.
like you because this is all. this is your job you can't escape this. part of l.a. that that's the perception you get of it. but you know it's such a vast city with. just so much like. just so many cool things about it so i'm. travis ravine for life. i'm i love l.a and she was ravine baby. walker bueller baby. i love walker bueller julio um oreos ugh. are you a dodger fan at least yeah i saw. you wear the dodger jersey and i got. excited i am a walker bueller. fan i am you had him on your show i saw.
him. i'm also i think i'm a fan of a couple. of players that i know. so are you just a fan of players not. teams i think so kind of i mean i'm a. louisiana fan and we don't have a team. you know. we got a lot of like uh you know the. pelicans are our newest team in the. basketball. but i like the dodgers man and i love. their i think i love what they got going. on. this season especially against the. padres it's just such a great match up. and um mike clevenger is a buddy of mine. he pitches at the padres and.
um joe musgrove who just had that no. hitter like two weeks ago. um who gets to pitch in his ho and back. in his home environment just like. i don't know i'm always i i feel so. blessed to know people that have like. such cool stories and just like. to even have a moment of their life here. there to get to like know a little bit. about them. i just feel so fortunate same way i. think i feel about bobby man every time. i'm around bobby i want him to just be. there forever you know. yeah he can be there forever when he. dies i'm gonna tax her derma mice.
oh i know a guy will attack your demise. i will mount him really in our bedroom. at wall what do you mean our bedroom not. our. him and i's bedroom yeah that's what i'm. saying we can mount him on our bedroom. wall. no no i'm sleeping in my own bedroom. okay no matter where i'm at now how. about this theo. let's suppose i say theo i want you in. my life let's see if this can work out. bobby has. perished okay um but disappeared in. another realm. into a different realm but he can still. what do you call that when you're.
um astral projecting oh he can still. hear us back into. his body that's been taxidermized on the. wall and that's my only stipulation is. that theo i will let you into my life. but bobby's body stays in our love lair. and he's looking over us like this okay. i would like to if he's like this i. would like to put him in a diaper and. put a bow and arrow in his hand. so he's like a cupid like he put us. together. so he believes that love should go on. that's all i ask you know but i would.
never wish anything bad on him you know. i don't want that to be a thing i just. hope that he's okay you know he just. lives such a risky lifestyle well why. don't you tell him that because it. my words don't mean anything to him. anymore i'll try to tell him i had that. episode the. intervention episode about his and he. had to empty that huge junk in a bucket. of urine that he'd been keeping in. oh that's right you even had my stepdad. on. richard his name roger. he keeps changing his name yeah but that.
guy was great. i told my mom before i got here i was. like where are you going i'm going to. see theo i. love theo yes yeah so you're in with a. family already if anything ever happens. to richard man or roger any of. any of her friends man i am my stepdad i. would be your stepdad. i'm almost dressed like it today. you are that's how he dresses to the. airport he always looks like he's about. to step into wimbledon court yeah. like why are you bringing that he's just. he has a look he has great hair. he it's good he's good hairy.
he's had good hair in in his life in his. life he's had good hair roger. god bless him god bless you god bless. roger shout out. um i don't know him i don't know if he. kind of covered everything we got one. more question right here from a young. fella. what up theo what up kalyla what up gang. um playboy. all right what i want to know kalila is. what is the most romantic thing that. bobby has ever done for you. like ever i like this.
probably let her come on this podcast is. what i was going to say but. [Applause]. that's a joke and i i need to quit. joking um romance is not a strong suit. and the fact that tell me that it's not. it just isn't. and it's something that i've come to. terms with and don't expect. um he does a lot of great things he he's. very. how do i put this he sucks at romance he. absolutely sucks at romance. um he got a guy one of his friends to.
buy me flowers. for valentine's day oh that's good he. didn't even hand him to me his friend. handed them to me oh really. yeah i think he had like alex george. like say hey dude whatever. i'll venmo you right now and he was. playing video games he was playing video. games with alex and he was like hey dude. can you go out to the first florist you. see i just bring it to my door. and that's how it that's that's that's. the extent of the romance. and i i think it comes from him not. seeing it around in his life.
whereas i just saw my dad. just go all out for my mom really so it. hurts me a little bit and but it's. you know there are other he makes up for. it in other ways. what do you what would your dad do with. your mom. he was just so devoted this is why i. have a hard time. this is what bobby and i struggle with. because i'm like it's not that i want. you to have a hundred percent romance. have two percent. yeah something yeah um.
but my dad would have dinner for my mom. like cook for her write her poems. like um wash your underwear. hang it up on you know just hand wash. your clothes you're talking about. and when he was you know my dad was. really old but. we didn't have a car when we our first. couple years in america. and my mom had to get to work he would. do something like this where he's like. you don't take the bus today. he would call access vans because he was.
eligible. for a senior ride and he would and mind. you he. he was a sick man and he was dying but. he would order the access van. get in the van with her to drop her off. at work so she wouldn't have to take. three buses there. and then wait another hour at the at her. work to go back in an access van. but that doesn't seem like a lot but he. was he. he was in his late 70s at this point. but things like that i saw mattered to. me. yeah and had such a big effect on my.
life and bobby had didn't. see that so i offer him grace in that. way because. he wasn't as lucky to have it in his. life like i did. [Music]. yeah that's pretty powerful man i. remember yeah my parents didn't have. like a lot of stuff like that i saw my. parents kiss one time at like a birthday. how'd you feel and it was like my dad. like kissed my mom on the head i. remember. up here or back here back here oh. standing behind her it was okay it was.
fine. how much younger was your mom uh i think. she's 38 years. 38 years younger yeah my mom was 36. years younger. wow so we're twins yeah. yeah symbiotic did your dad um did your. mom carry on relationships with other. men. at all while they were seeing each other. mean yeah no she didn't i think after. they split up she had. she ended up meeting a man but. yeah she would they just i don't know my. dad always slept on the couch.
they just didn't have a vibe you know so. i think even now when i think about like. being in separate places being in. separate rooms like that kind of stuff. feels normal to me i guess you know. i think you don't realize how much those. little things when you're a kid really. like. kind of resonate with you they do of. like. i think my yeah maybe my mom had said. such discomfort with my dad being around. i don't know. maybe you're a lot more similar to bobby. in that regard because. while my parents were really um. were very different ages there was love.
there. there was respect there was mutual. devotion. and um from a distance it could it. looked like a 90-day. fiance situation gone wrong like a. ritual. guy because my dad was a rich guy went. back to the philippines got himself like. young philippine hussey that wasn't the. case. my dad eventually lost all his money and. my mom never. left his side until the day he died all. her friends were like oh does he have an. inheritance. and she's not a single [ __ ] dime.
because he was a poor gambler he [ __ ]. up all his investments. but she they were devoted to each other. and. that's where it becomes a situation. where. bobby doesn't require certain things in. a relationship and i do. because i yearn for that love they have. like i yearn for that. but it's nice that you're willing to at. least or you it seems like you're brave. enough to try and make that. for yourself you know even if it's not. coming in 100 from the other person. exactly like you want it. it can't though but that's that my.
i can't require bobby to give me. i he can't be my one-stop shop for. everything right i have friends for that. i have a sister for that i have a mother. for that. like my emotional needs you know don't. have to be tended to by this man like. i have a whole community for that um. so in that regard i do tell him like hey. up your romance game a little bit yeah i. understand that you didn't grow up with. christmas trees or love. and you got beat up a lot but this is.
what i need and this is what i know. you're able to give. so just give that two percent i'm happy. with that two percent. right so we're working on it managing. expectations wow. well learned a lot about love here today. guys i feel like. you know i really appreciate you coming. in and just talking it's so nice to talk. to a woman. for a while and not have anybody. not there be any like no expectations or. no like um. uncomfort you know i mean just like some. fun moments but i didn't really feel any.
uncomfort and. you know i really feel like chatting. with you is fun because it's like an. environment where i can like learn a. little. share a little i know our listeners. really love it so. thanks theo yeah i'm really really. should we just. put it on record that we are not each. other's side pieces. yeah who would i don't know who would. ever think that so stop writing putting. it on this message. stop messaging me asking if theo has. eaten my butt because he certainly. hasn't and he'll tell you himself.
yeah i mean if i had bro i would know. and he would be talking about it it's. full of flavor. oh and he would you would have liked. that blue ice vape. a hitter you know that candy that leaves. your tongue all blue. that's exactly what that is oh yeah. that's a nice bro. well that's what you should do you. should put like that bank die like they. put on the money. on your butthole that way people would. know if i had been or not.
and right now if we can just edit in a. bunch of that blue dye rock. this would be a great place to end the. episode. thanks for having me theo thank you so. much you guys go check out bloodbath. with uh kalila. and uh annie letterman and esther. pavitsky. now i'm just floating on the breeze and. i feel i'm falling. like these leaves i must be. cornerstone.
[Music]. [Music]. a little time. for me to set that parking brake and let. myself. on my heart shine that light on. me. i'll sit and tell you my stories.
and now i've been moving way too fast on. the runaway train with a heavy load of. my. hands. and these rails that i've been riding on.
[Music]. there.
