Jo Koy 3 | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #303

today's episode is brought to you by. magic mind. and you want to know for a fact that. flow state. now comes in a bottle and you can drink. it you can devour it. i like to shake mine and then have it. oh yeah you can check it out. magicmind.co. use promo code theo for 10 off. if you're tired of coffee then try this.

today's episode features a beautiful man. and this is a comedy man and. and he's got so many big things. happening in his life i think um. i'm just amazed we're even able to have. him in here today. and he's a man of comedy and you know. him from netflix and television. ladies and gentlemen my friend mr joe. [Music]. coy.

i'll sit and tell you my stories. [Applause]. i've been dating a girl on and off for a. couple years and then now i think we're. not dating so i'm just chilling. are you in your head a lot like do you. hear words underneath sentences or do.

you like. it's kind of like paranoia because we're. in a certain position now. does that make sense like what do you. mean like like okay like i. know i know that i. like i make a certain amount of money i. i know a lot of people. like you know what i mean like it we're. not looked at the same way. this is gonna sound so air i don't want. to sound i don't. you could sound arrogant though i think. some people could sound arrogant i don't. think. it's something that you could do so i.

think no matter what you say it's coming. from a place where it's like okay i'm. just trying to share what i'm. feeling or that that's how i feel so uh. it it hinders my dating life. really yeah man and i and i hate it. because i. my trust is so it's i've been burned a. lot. by you know by people i've dated and. then and then. and just like my trust is just so bad. like. what are you in this for why are you. with me why like there's only one person. i really trust and that's my son's. mom she was with me when i had [ __ ] up.

teeth. when i was working at nordstrom rack and. and borders. traveling doing coke uh working at uh. some marina del rey cleaning yachts and. then running over to laugh factory and. doing stage time. so she was there yeah i trust her. i don't trust anyone that came after. this that's what sucks man it really. sucks do you sometimes i. do you feel bad for not like committing. to the yeah to the mom.

no i think we both have like a great. understanding man we're. if anyone gets a divorce her and i. should write a book because we are the. greatest divorce. couple of all time if my mom and dad. could have just done. what we did i mean we'd have a great. life right now like i. like maybe i wouldn't be so ptsd about. my. my childhood you know what i mean yeah i. wouldn't be so. holding on to certain feelings that i've. had you know with my mom and my dad. you know yeah it's damaging man like. those relationships and then you start.

to. exhibit the same relation you you you. exude and. and do the same practices that were done. to you and i was starting to theo. when we first divorced i was i was being. that. guy you know i'll make it harder for. this [ __ ]. oh yeah yeah wow yeah struggle [ __ ] oh. yeah. i was like i remember my mom's like you. remember how you felt when and. ah [ __ ] i don't want to put that out. there but you know i love my dad you. know what i mean but. they were going through a time and i.

didn't see my dad. and um and and i don't ever want my son. to feel that feeling. yeah of the dad not around yeah and. being a phone dad happy birthday son. like. it [ __ ] hurts man yeah and um and i. see it with you that's why i. i i don't know what i you know i i don't. dig into you but when you do your like. your single mom shows. yeah that comes from a place right like. is it because your mom was single. yeah my mom was single i think yeah i. think sometimes you know we just sent. some. money out to some single miles we'll.

like every now and then just write out. some check just. nothing crazy a couple hundred bucks. just no but that's so dope but we have. like a little group that we kind of try. to add to over the time. but it's funny because i was thinking. the other day like why do we do like. what. and i think it's just like i think. because i i wish maybe somebody had like. given my mom some extra money to do. something or and not that these women. even need it they might all be rich i. have no idea yeah. but um but you're also setting a trend. and starting something new like. as long as you can plant the seed yeah. as long as like you know you have a.

beautiful platform and you speak to a. lot of people. a lot of kids too and if they see. something like that. that's inspirational that that teaches. them not to you know oh theo did it. right and that's that's something i. didn't have i don't know how old you are. i'm 40 years old so i'm older than you. not by much. but but enough to like during my time. i think divorce was new oh wow i mean. i think divorce was new and was there. shame with divorce then yeah like there. was that's when all the divorce. courts started coming out and all the.

divorce shows were coming out. and you know i mean it was all new for. everybody you know and and. and you know i don't i don't i don't i. don't get mad at my dad i. you know i tell my dad i love you so. much all the time but. um i also tell them i understand yeah. you know i mean like it was a different. time yeah it was a different time. it was like their their role models were. like had like drove like um. ford ltd's or whatever yeah they had a. pistol. yeah yeah six shooters with old bullets. it was different.

yeah it was different time they always. went off because there was no safety. safety that guy right they always had. uncles that told dirty jokes oh it was. disgusting but they were dirty jokes. that they got from a book. yeah remember there was a book they used. to sell it was like they they used to. have like the worst. dirty books i remember going there as a. kid and said do you do you know what i'm. talking about. i don't remember that i remember i was. like truly tasteless books. please look it up nick put it up nick. when i was a kid thanks bud i remember a. kid came to us.

to the school and this thing called the. truly tasteless. jokes and was he hiding it from the. adult oh it was yeah it was it was. it was like a satanic book you know what. i mean and we all gathered around. during lunch and we all pulled it out. and just died. died laughing the most crudest nastiest. things you could ever. read we used to have a fella we used to. pay to had a dude who you'd pay him a. couple dollars and he would draw you a. piece of. little crotch at recess this dude nick. bro. was it nick was his name what was his. name nick.

i don't remember this guy's name but. yeah man for a couple dollars he's. sketching out a beautiful piece. and it just looked like it huh bro and. if you had one of those you were good. for the weekend you know. you were if you had a couple dollars to. get you a little sketch. yes man and i remember i used to bike. across town to go ma. they had this man and he uh. he had a family yeah and i would go over. to his house and i was like buddies with. his son.

and they had pornography up under the. sink yeah. that's where it was oh and i'd bike five. miles over to their house on the weekend. did it to go to the bathroom to pretend. i was pooping for like an. hour oh and it was massive right it was. a massive poop you didn't even poop. yeah dude and i'm just in there just. feeling sorry about myself then i had to. come out of the bathroom and pretend to. be friends with their son for a while. yeah and then you also had to let your. semi go down oh because just because. you're done it does it's not.

not it doesn't go back to it's it's. resting place. it still has a lot of energy a little. life. oh yeah yeah you're still kind of. excited too you think you could probably. do it again. oh yeah you're ready like i'm just yeah. i'm just wait i'm like building up steam. to get back in there you know. my friend's dad had a stack of magazines. in his bathroom and i always wanted to. use. his dad's bathroom yeah it was on top of. the you know the tank. and it was like sports illustrated. sports illustrated and then another. magazine mechanics popular mechanics and.

then. and then the goodies tits only oh yeah. jugs. oh jugs yeah he just had to use he had. to remember what magazine was on top. yes remember all that you had to pull it. out slowly. don't bend any pages set it down on that. brown set it down don't get it wet. don't get it wet. all of the and your favorite and the the. dad wouldn't have noticed any of that. probably unless it was on top as long as. you didn't put it back on top.

oh if you put on that on top it's done. that the whole mission is done. then you blame it on your friend your. friend did it yeah he did it. and then the dad's like oh my friend my. son is a piece of [ __ ] yeah. your son is yeah because i had no idea. about these magazines which ones. jugs what is it about milk yeah what. about gallons of milk. is it instacart what are you talking. about. i cleaned my son's bed i had to throw. his bed away he's had this bed. by the way theo you don't have kids. right no i don't have any kids man i.

would like to have a kid though i'm. putting that out there man. nice you're gonna love it by the way. really oh it's the greatest thing in the. world. having a kid the saddest part is when. they get. old or older they want to throw things. away. and it's like you're throwing your heart. in the garbage. so my son wanted to like rearrange his. room he's had this room. you know there's michael jordan stuff. everywhere it's bad it's it's you know. it's from. from six to you know whatever he's got. all these things that i bought to.

and now it's just in the way because now. he's into making beats so he wants to. clear. yeah you want yeah you want that fang. yeah man and i'm telling you i was. crying on the inside but i'm not showing. him any emotion i'm just like yeah throw. it. yep yeah let's scoot that out man get. that out of here man let's [ __ ] get. yeah yeah let's get you. a little peep a chair yeah yeah but i'm. crying it kills me bro but anyways. so i bought him this uh uh what is it. called tempur-pedic mattress bed. whatever oh yeah that's right.

but it's a it's a sofa bed so it looks. like a red. sofa but when you open it it's. tempur-pedic it's an amazing. hideaway couch yeah so it makes it like. that it's amazing like if you when you. lay on it it doesn't feel like. one of those regular couch beds it feels. like a bed he's had it forever but my. son's sick of it. right he wants it out so we got rid of. it damn. bro the mayhem that's underneath. this bed because there was no way you. could move this it was so massive.

when we finally got the guys to move it. and we all looked at the ground. and i'm like joe like a time capsule bro. what was it like all kind of it was. socks oh it was. uh did it feel seaming kleenex did have. a seam in his vibe everything. everything everything was a dna episode. everything was like a uh. uh what was that like a csi episode. it was just everywhere i took pictures. of it video. drew a chalk out line around his sock oh. you suck yeah. just billions dead murder this is a mass.

murder. dude i can't believe and this is. something that's probably obtuse but. something that's coming soon is that. think of all of the val the. nutritional and value that it's in semen. if you really think about it yeah those. [ __ ]. and people are just just tossing it aw. dude bro it's people. have some [ __ ] ruffles you know what. i'm saying like the total. opposite some douches bro. you have you actually have the the.

the you actually have the ingredients. to make a human and you [ __ ] throw it. on the floor. and just grab a drumstick and you're. just you're trying to get the chocolate. from the bottom of the cone. you still have a little seed on your. hands oh yeah. praise god brother what are we monsters. and we don't give a [ __ ] bro no. oh dude they had this big guy who used. to jerk off and he would bring it on the. bus and throw it at the kids when the no.

he didn't. yeah this big red fellow this big ginger. guy. you know sometimes uh your uh stories. are so fast. yeah and so uh uh there's so much detail. that like you people don't know if. you're lying or not oh i'm not lying man. i'll tell you. are you telling the truth all the time. i'm telling the truth probably 95. percent of the time and 92. these are amazing stories dude and this. handicap kid would always try to catch. it from him all the time which is the. craziest part. see i don't know if that's the. embellishment uh-uh it's real.

dude this kid got they what was the. handicapped kid's name they yeah i don't. know his full name but his nickname was. thundercat tj. thundercat johnson dude and they and he. would try and catch semen out of the air. he didn't know it was semen he just. thought it was candy thought it was a. buddy he thought it was a parade. he would like pretend like there were. bands coming he was out there man so so. the the red guy. would jerk off in his hand toss it. and then in super slo-mo thundercat oh. yeah would just. and he had a really chariots of fire.

music he had that chris carter on him he. had some hands on him i wouldn't say. that. and he would he sometimes you could have. a grab he would grab something he'd. catch enough. i tell you that he'd catch enough to. probably feel good about himself. but that's the crazy thing you know it's. like. you know one man's trash is another. man's treasure yeah whatever they say. yeah yeah and that's that's good product. right there oh. but think about the fact that we're just. like you know. people are going to the store and. getting all of this macadamian oyster.

yeah you know cream for your and all of. it and everybody's just. meanwhile their three kids in the back. of the house are just blowing. through yeah the best salve that god. ever made you know. this will get rid of wrinkles yeah you. know what's crazy i was watching. something on it's elbows but i feel like. we're almost there. no i was watching something on ellen and. sandra bullock was on. and and she and ellen was like why don't. you tell the uh people why your face is. so. beautiful and tight and then they said. it was from like. kids uh when they get sick.

no the circumcision oh that breast meat. they said that that's in the inside the. the the makeup that she uses. what and that's why we're going to hell. man. that's are you kidding me oh. that hurts me that. that hurts me man thinking about that. they're cutting it off of people. sometimes adults too. that means there's a back end business. to the the snipping like he he's like. you know this is good for your kid.

and you know this will be cleaner for. that area so i'll cut it off for this. much and then he charges them and then. when he gets to his hand he runs through. the back door. i got two yeah i got two i got two like. one two i got two. of these i got two o-rings who needs two. who needs two o-rings. who needs two of that freaking uh who. wants that nine-month calamari huh yeah. extraction. from a a piece of skin. that came from they're doing it to this. one so they don't get ripped off. um far far away and they somehow figured.

out how to extract. it's foreskin from a korean baby that's. right there you go. and you know what's the saddest oh what. and they're saying that nonchalant like. what and i'll ask you since you closer. to this really element is. why would koreans be more likely to give. it up. why is that i my best my best friend was. korean he he wasn't circumcised. i don't know why i just told you that. maybe he didn't want to sell it anyway.

he passed away. no not not not him he's still like but. his brother did how did you know that. i don't know man how did you know that. you sounded like he passed away when you. first started talking oh no no he just. uh he held on to his uh. his meat yeah i wonder why. i wonder why that. they went korean how do you get that i. don't why did they go karaoke i'll tell. you this a brother ain't giving it up. that's out the gate dude you tell a.

brother we're gonna carve a little bit. of your meat off. bro and they're the ones who can spare. it yeah meanwhile they're hitting. up a korean guy who's got the freaking. 11th pinky out here. and they [ __ ] chopping off 30 percent. on him bro. damn you got to cut that thing off i'm. gonna make cufflinks out of it. right here now we're going out to you. honey yeah that's the move. those are nice cufflinks what is that. that's me yeah that's. me make your face nice and tight keep.

you young [ __ ]. oh yeah let's keep we got a question. right here from a beautiful couple right. here let's hear what they have to say no. yo from one cajun. asian couple to another. what are y'all what asian. type do you think is the sexiest. [Music]. gang buzz buzz wow gang let me think.

about that what type is the sexiest. and you're pinoy you're full pinoy yeah. yeah well no i'm half. okay half white half filipino praise god. blood praise god. um um yeah i i you know i'm biased man. i'm gonna have to say filipino. yeah you know my son's mommy was. filipino. yeah yeah you got to say that you know i. like the mix too i like i like the mixed. babies so i like i like a little bit of. white with a little filipino yeah i like. that. oh yeah like an asian with like a hazel. eye it's like wow yeah that happened.

like a teriyaki salmon. yeah that's good right i think so yeah. it's more like alaska but it's japanese. yeah. i like that japanese alaskan that's good. [ __ ] right yeah it's like when you see a. white guy doing the uh the limbo you. know. yeah and he's good like his toes moving. forward. like where the [ __ ] he where did you. learn that sir. don't worry about it man it was a cruise. it was a cruise. don't tell your mother your mama. dude there's something about like the.

white dad that crushes the luau that. just. saves the family yeah he gets like like. like free pineapple. or whatever for the for the whole table. and he's a king dude yeah he's like but. he was like it wasn't. good but it was so funny yeah but it was. good enough for them and he didn't know. any better he doesn't know and they got. pictures. yeah we all remember that oh i remember. going to the beach man and we got uh. and you know we'd go out there and we'd. steal some liquor during the day and go. bury it in the sand and then go get it.

back at night like uh. you know like turtles do yeah and so. then we dig it up at night and go drink. it and then we'd meet up with strangers. on the beach strange women. i met this girl that was in the wicken. one time witchcrafter. and me and she wasn't into it she was in. it she was doing it she was literally. walking on the beach in the middle of. the night. no man at age 15 dude and we i don't. know what we did but. we did something man that is always the. creepiest story and. especially on the receiving end as a kid.

it's a cool story. but when you're a father and your kids. come back from the beach. saying that [ __ ] because my son did it. in in maui. they came running back in they're like. oh we met some dudes on the beach i'm. like. what the [ __ ] what do they look like. like well you don't hang out with dudes. at the beach. no they were cool dad no they're no they. weren't yeah. no man homeless talking to 15 year old. kids is cool at the beach.

that's true man dude when i think back. because when i we had this fellow named. richard langenstein and. and the the listeners know this and this. fellow was con eventually. convicted or semi-convicted pedophile. and but when i was young he was just. this cool guy. that we went to smoke weed with and. would buy steaks yeah did you fall. asleep a lot huh did you fall asleep. around this guy yeah there's a couple of. half memories that i have that i don't. want to. read all the way through yeah yeah don't. go through i don't want to read the. second half of the book. but he was but at the time we thought it.

was so cool that he would. he drove one of my friends to vegas for. the weekend right like pretty sketchy. right there right there cute religious. brother accused of molesting student. but this was after and you knew him oh. yeah dude. i used to smoke weed with that fella man. he was a teacher at our school man. he was a teacher i introduced him like. half of my friends. so here's what i didn't realize man i. was a freaking like a like a penis mule.

for this guy you know what i'm saying. yeah you're bringing him in. yeah it is because i met him at school. he was a substitute teacher you were. like that girl on smallville. allison mack yeah yeah i was a recruiter. she'd be serving 120 years right now. theo free gillane dude. um but anyway but at the time it's so. crazy at the time how i thought oh it's. so cool it's so normal. i'm just i'm lucky we met this cool guy. yeah now when i think about it. okay if at 40 i'm smoking weed with a 15. year old. yeah i'm not doing no man.

it would be insane to do that that's it. doesn't even make sense. no it's so wild how from the other side. of the. that's what i'm saying it's so clear. when mike wants. you got to remember i'm taking. responsibility of all my nephews. oh like i've told the their parents i. got it don't worry they're going to be. safe and they come. running back into the into the the house. and they're like. yo we met these dudes man they're so. coming what. duncan took a hit like my oldest cut my.

oldest nephew took a hit i'm like. what the [ __ ] are you doing yeah what. are you guys doing what's going on. why would you do that yeah who are these. guys he just. disappeared yeah duncan got his nails. done by some guy. yeah i feel weird if i hang out with. gianni he's only 24. yeah that's a good. point. that's eight years does it feel weird. fifteen yeah yeah man. if uh if i get a dm or anything like. that it's always like hey man. uh thank you so much kid yeah tell your. mom and dad i said hi.

i swear to god i i don't i. mean hey tell your father. mr coy says thank you. all right man do your homework it's. sketchy now especially dude hell no. i'll ask a girl straight up if they're. going to try to me too me or not yeah. you should. yeah just so i have it in writing. yeah you know yeah that's good like wait. this girl was me to me and. said she wasn't gonna meet yeah wait a.

minute you said clearly you weren't. yeah what yeah what's going on here. but i'm gonna go through let me think. nick dat's an asian girl too. vietnamese girl oh vietnamese they're. nice. oh yeah they're not they're firecrackers. yeah she's she keeps me alive. they've been they've been through a lot. yeah they've been through a lot. oh yeah so uh yeah you gotta watch her. you better watch your back on that one. her parents came by boat. wow yeah well yeah a lot of them did. they didn't stayed in hong kong for a. while. oh yeah and a vietnamese person they.

could sleep on a damn in a client. on a rack of a car i saw i saw a. vietnamese person fall asleep on a whole. thing of cans. unbelievable just recycled cancer. beautiful every turn was just. and didn't wake him up just. you can't [ __ ] with me my next-door. neighbor was vietnamese and he was the. [ __ ] man talk [ __ ] had the thickest. accent yeah. and was in my face when we played ball. man you can't call me dude [ __ ] you dude. his name was v by the way v.

every vietnamese person's name v and he. had hair just like you oh yeah. this is 1983 man he had this tight sides. and then the long he's like no [ __ ] you. do. take that take that dude yeah i do. he was that's where i got my accent from. when i do the vietnamese accent it's. always b. oh that's oh he was so funny man is she. funny is she funny. she's hilarious yeah i i don't know what. it is about i i think. theo when it's when you get like uh like. like when when.

military presence is is there. like does this make sense like the. philippines has a lot of military oh. yeah. back in the day and i think they absorb. that culture. and that lifestyle and they and they get. uh. you know when you tell a joke they get. it right you know what i mean does that. make sense like i think so because they. probably were like. all that a lot of what they probably saw. was a lot of american stuff. yeah and they hear american humor and. the way they talk and like the little. words that we use and and they get it. does that make sense.

to translate it huh vietnamese are. gangsters oh they're. gangster they're like they're gangster. business people like louisiana has one. of the largest populations of vietnamese. in uh. in the us we have the only vietnamese um. person in the house of representatives. the only vegan did not know that. is uh louisiana because all the fishing. industry. so they come down there hunting shrimp. and they stay did not know that. huang joseph he goes by joseph chow. of course he does dude but would that be.

pronounced cow. cow joseph cow joseph cow that's a good. call bet it would. my girlfriend helped secure two pounds. of weed for boosie badass yeah we had to. pay busy badass and weed when he showed. up that's. beautiful that's a beautiful thing. that's a great thing but that's a beats. man they'll get you anything you need. tables you need a wedding. yeah and they don't give a [ __ ] if the. order's wrong have you ever seen that. yeah vietnamese don't give a [ __ ] when i. ask every time for my pho. that's vietnamese right and i and in. fact this just happened we can call my.

son to verify this this damn story. and uh once again i asked no cilantro i. can't stand cilantro it [ __ ] up every. meal. and i go please no cilantro no problem. no cilantro boom [ __ ] cilantro damn. i go to cilantro no green okay and just. walked off. okay okay yeah. okay well you want me to put my hand in. there yeah. oh yeah because it doesn't really go in. huh one by one [ __ ]. i don't know man yeah there's something.

more like i don't know we got. white culture gets so a little bit too. proper over time. yeah and a lot of these cultures that. have had a lot more of a rot gut. experience or a tougher. upcoming in the past 100 years they. really. there's so much more humor bro bro i. love how you describe that that's so. true. man so much more humor how'd you say. that rut gutted. rot good rot gut yeah that's so true man. like when you when you go through just. [ __ ] and you're only your only form of.

entertainment is yourself. yeah right oh and you can only be funny. and make fun of yourself man. that's that's why they are who they are. man like that's why filipinos are like. that it's just. that's our form of entertainment when. you're broke and you don't have any. money and. you depend on the family to to be the. entertainment at the party. yeah right like i don't know that made. sense how you said that. no i think look when you look at a lot. of culture that's where a lot of humor. really comes out of you know is uh. is some type of not turmoil really but.

just. i think a place of unrest or not having. something where be. where you need to become an instrument. as a person you need to become. funny or become because it's not there. there's not the other elements that you. have to get the entertainment exactly so. it's like unless. somebody's gonna go rent a vhs you know. which somebody has the money to do once. a week. yep then otherwise somebody's gonna have. to start entertaining yeah someone's. gonna juggle [ __ ]. somebody's gotta juggle dude so grab.

those three balls and do something. parties in two days that's it yeah. that's the truth man. i think there's something about that but. yeah i'm gonna go through and rank now. japanese i've and i've. you know i've long been you know i'm not. a i'm not anti-japanese yeah. but they're i get no japanese person. it's hard to know if they care. what's going on living to see it's just. like. all right you know i never i can't tell. if they've just come from a fire.

or if they just got a massage like i. just oh you mean their expression i have. no idea. yeah never. like i went to a japanese a buddy of my. married japanese girl was at the wedding. i was like dude are you sure this girl. would like. you like i have zero vibe off of this. really yeah just correct and i think. it's just because if you don't grow up. around a certain population you have. just have no idea what their experiences. are like. that's true like filipinos a lot easier. china's they're more gangsters bro.

china's really like the black community. of asia really chinese people are funny. too by the way chinese. people chinese people don't care if they. die bro you'll be walking down the. street with like in. shanghai somebody dies they make a soup. out of them. put a sign up what the [ __ ] bro. sell [ __ ] whatever his name was you. know him key soup and it's a [ __ ]. funeral lunch and then done and. everybody goes back to work bro. those people keep it moving yeah they. don't have time they don't have time bro. there's 1.9 billion theo.

it don't matter you know what i mean. when when one drops it's like. you get to open your arms just a little. bit more you have to do a full stretch. three more die yeah oh this is so bad. there's a sinkhole yeah oh you [ __ ]. finally you can get a knife. yeah they're like. the chinese and it's not like we have. the luxury of having a little bit of. space over here. yeah you know we have a lot of space. yeah i'm so sick of people going. man it's we're so overpopulated i'm like.

have you ever. flown from l.a to to. to vegas yeah you see all that land. you ever you ever fly from like omaha. to what's the next state over cincinnati. maybe. cincinnati you ever go to st louis to. denver yeah. it's land look at all that land what the. [ __ ] are you guys. talking about man it is only populated. wherever you. live yeah oh man there's so many people. in los angeles.

yeah yeah yeah yeah go to victorville. yeah go to. go to needles go to needles you ever fly. from. san antonio to dallas it's ridiculous. yeah so much land oh yeah so much land. stop it. we got we got room there's not enough. people. i think more people are starting to. spread out now especially yeah i think. during. especially now during this whole pandy a. lot of people were like hey i got a. i don't know what this rat race is that. i'm stuck in i want to go see.

about being a human being you know yeah. i think like places like utah. are getting busier um you know also. states without. taxes you know without state taxes are. getting busier too oh. way busier you know uh i'm in vegas now. so yeah how is that good. i love it i got a house in vegas and i. mean i have a house here. right but i i vegas is where i like to. go i'm always in vegas. you should go to vegas you know what i. would i'll i would consider it i think. i'm gonna try nashville for a little. while yeah but then i would consider. vegas.

yeah the reason why i like vegas so much. it's a it's an hour flight man. yeah you know you go to nashville was. that two and a half oh it's more it's. like three and a half hours. yeah see that's that's a that's an event. yeah that's a lot of planning. whereas like you live in vegas you're. living your life and it's like hey we. need you to do so. i'll be there and i'll be there at six. yeah that is cool you know what i mean. it is pretty cool at 11 am you could. have a call. and decide you need to be there the next. morning and at 5 00 p.m you could take a. flight and beat it but. done fresh and ready the next day yeah.

that's one thing one thing that's nice. about nashville is the proximity like. you can drive to you want to go perform. in huntsville. it's two hours away you want to perform. in indianapolis it's four hours away. you want to perform in cincinnati it's. four hours away. like you just don't really realize how. many places. you could just go do comedy yeah that. are within you know. yeah you could just you know get on a. plane at 11. and and be at your hotel by 2 p.m i love. nashville by the way it's cool man it's. interesting. it's completely different oh it's.

completely different yeah it's it's like. uh. it's like a western version of new york. yeah like when new york was like that. big jazz movement. and entertainment movement you know am i. making any sense. back in the day you could just go to new. york and everyone was playing jazz music. everywhere and like jazz was huge. i wasn't from that era i just heard this. story from cosby. i see it in you know like movies and and. just like. man i wish i lived during that time yeah. go to these clubs and all of a sudden. this.

their musicians were just playing and. and like you know what i mean. and you hear all these stories like and. then all of a sudden you see. i go to nashville and it was the same. thing yeah it was. it was like i was seeing i don't like. country but when i'm in nashville i love. country yeah because i see it i see. those stories come to life that. that whole jazz movement in new york i'm. seeing it in nashville i'm walking. every bar there's someone playing. someone's playing you know i went to a. brunch and there was a band play i got. off the plane there was a band play i.

bought cds. i still say this every time i have the. cd from the gin sisters. i don't know if they made it or if they. became big look them up uh their name. their name jyn sisters and i got off my. plane in nashville. and they huge crowd wrapped around them. all they had was a speaker an amplifier. and two i think two sisters i hope. they're sisters. uh and they were playing bought their cd. and i was like and and that's what. live music is and that's what that whole. yeah there's a lot of love when you're. hungry when someone's hungry you know.

you you buy into that. there's that energy you know when you. see someone just i'm in an airport plane. it's like yeah man. i'll buy that what is it i'll buy it i. love it i support it yeah. what about this do you find that it's. tougher to. um recreate that. desire as you achieve more success and. stuff. no you don't no i don't wow i don't. i'm i'm still thinking of things that i. need to do.

well i'm still thinking of things that i. need to do yeah and it burns inside me. like i can't wait. wow mm-hmm i'm working on this project. right now i don't sleep. really yeah yeah man fire. like i'm on fire right now you're up for. an emmy right now aren't you. uh it was a uh it was a people's choice. award wow. yeah for that for that special and that. special that i shot in the philippines. was. burning inside of me for years. and for it to come to life the way it. did i was so i was so excited i don't. know.

i could never explain it to someone what. that special meant to me because. you know we live in a time now where you. get to watch. you get to go online and see whoever it. is that that you are like. you know if you're if you're vietnamese. you can go online and and find. vietnamese entertainment. all kinds of singers whatever right but. try doing that in 1982 and try and find. a filipino that looked like me doing. stand-up. yeah when you only had three channels to. go from you know people thought you were.

sinbad's son a lot of you yeah a lot of. people. thought i was uh something they didn't. know what i was by the way. because i was a mixed kid i was a. military kid so you know i had the hazel. eyes but then they were like. asian looking like people always ask me. what are you what but uh. anyways what i'm getting at is just like. that's what that whole thing was like. being able to create something to help. inspire. other kids that are trying to get into. this business you know oh i can only. imagine something like that what that. will do that fuse. you know like um i just remember the.

first time i've ever even went and saw. stand-up comedy i didn't even know you. could do it. i'd never i know my brother had like. gotten the videos of eddie murphy and. stuff but. i didn't know i wasn't they wouldn't. even know there was like a club thing. yeah they wouldn't let me come watch. those with them. yeah so i would just hear about it um. and i would see uh living color. yeah but i was in college and somebody. took me to the comedy club and there was. a man up there i think it was mark gross. do you remember him i remember mark ross. um great joke writer and he's just up. there telling jokes and i'm like. this is a job this is insane yeah.

um loved it and yeah and it just blew my. mind that that was. the real thing but i could only and that. was probably where the seed comes from. so i can only imagine if you're sitting. in the philippines you know. i wanted to go to the philippines with. it i wanted to be able to show the world. like you know this is the culture i'm. talking about these are our people they. speak. english you know i mean the best people. dog. i've been to the azores islands over. there um. was this it let's hear it. what's this this is uh theo was asked.

who what person would he say. it's related uh which person would he. send to. uh be an ambassador to the aliens. and this is factual right here's. documented information probably a. filipino dude i'm really infatuated by. filipinos. they're happy they're joyous you know. they call them smiling people somewhere. on the internet. and um and every filipino i meet they're. real gracious they do a lot of senior. care centers hospice. so you don't [ __ ] who else you're.

gonna send out there dude. you know what i'm saying i love it drunk. you know what. i need that video can you send me that. video that's true man. oh i gotta put filipinos a lot and what. a lot of people don't realize is. before you die a lot of the last person. a lot of people see is a filipino person. man so true so true. that's pretty fascinating when you think. about that when you think about whatever. scope of god's world that it is. that that is the last i don't care if. you're white or black or whoever. there's a pretty decent chance it's.

going to be a filipino housekeeper. you're going to a housekeeper house. yeah or someone yeah that works in care. yeah nursing yes. that's so true man so many nurses that's. crazy yeah. i wonder if that starts to wear i wonder. what effect that has on the culture over. time if it has any you know. none wow it is literally a part of their. dna. like like i said earlier man when you. have absolutely nothing like. when you actually go to the philippines.

and visit it and and and you realize. holy [ __ ] man i'm spoiled i need to shut. up. i need to really not talk when i. you know what i mean like i you go there. and you see these kids barefoot and. and i remember we were shooting. something and this brought a tear to my. eye we were shooting something. because i wanted to show the guys uh. just like these monuments right. and and there was this woman that was. you know she had a cart and she's. selling. you know you know fried food right and. uh.

and then her kid barefoot and everything. uh after we bought the food she takes. his clothes off and just gives him a. bath right there. oh yeah full on back with a soda with a. soda with mountain dew. oh yeah no but like like full-on shot. and the kid's happy as hell. oh yeah and she's bathing with soap and. everything a. cup of water puts it dries them off. clothes back on he takes off running. it's just another day for this kid. yeah but when i saw that i was like holy. [ __ ] man.

that's life that's real life so it's. like what do you do. what do you do to get out of that right. you try and learn to speak english. right you got to learn to speak english. and then you got to become a nurse why. because everyone needs a nurse yeah. everyone needs a nurse just like you. said. you got to make yourself yeah yeah you. got to be of need yeah and and. who else do you get someone that's. willing to do it. you know someone that speaks english and. i need to get out of this situation so. yeah i'll take care of him. it's on his last day yeah i'll i'll be.

there wow i'll make sure that. his or hers last days are the best last. days ever. it's pretty interesting man because yeah. it's a lot of i wonder how many people. in their lives have been racist or had. racist thoughts you know especially. and even if they weren't their own they. learned them or whatever and. and then they're laying on their death. bed or whatever and the person that's. there usually that's what's. that's what's crazy about life man yeah. the person that's there usually. is probably of another ethnicity yeah. you know that's so weird i never even.

thought of that. theo that's so deep bro it's just. interesting about that. you're just laying there and like and. life just moves on. and you have to at that point you have. to inside of yourself think like man i. have to. i can't be hateful because i need this. person yeah. you know even if i just need them just. to be the last person that's. there when i'm gone when i leave just. hook me up with a little bit of morphine. before i go. yeah just say yeah or something just. tell whoever comes in the room that i. was a decent person i was a decent.

i was a decent man i was a decent man. yeah yeah. wow i never even thought of that look. there's no secret. there's no secret that americans have. been overpaying for car insurance. in other countries you might get car. insurance thirty dollars six sixteen. dollars. mexico but in america it's been reported. that americans. are overpaying on car insurance. by over 21 billion dollars. yep that's americans but.

searching for a better deal can take. hours so that's why we don't do it. and it usually results in a barrage of. unwanted spam. calls and emails and other they may. literature [ __ ] literature. until now thanks to thezebra.com. the zebra.com is the nation's leading. car insurance. comparison site because it's the only. place you can get. side by side quotes from over 100. providers. and choose the best for you in 90.

seconds or less. and they'll never sell you information. sometimes you see somebody they come. running up to you hey hey is this your. name. do you live at this place and you don't. even know him. and that's because they bought you. information off somebody behind a. building. techcrunch calls the zebra kayak for. auto insurance. how much can you save on car and home. insurance. go today and start saving at the. zebra.com. t-h-e-o that's the zebra.

dot com slash t-h-e-o spelled. t-h-e-z-e-b-r-a. dot com slash theo go save. if it's time to quit it's time to quit. and i'm not talking about masturbatory. activities at the moment i'm talking. more. about nicotine thankfully. lucy nicotine is a company founded by. cal tech scientists. and former smokers looking for a better.

and cleaner. nicotine alternative researched and. developed for three years. to be made for people not patients. lucy has created a nicotine gum with. four milligrams of nicotine. that come in three flavors wintergreen. cinnamon pomegranate. lucy also has a lozenge with four. milligrams of nicotine. in cherry ice flavor oh she's sexy. each and every flavor actually tastes.

great. it's 20 20 get rid of your cigarettes. unplug your vape. throw out your dip and get some lucy. nicotine. gum or lozenges this is the real deal. i quit smoking seven months ago and i. feel great. i can uh you know i could blow up a. balloon or something for the children at. a party. and i don't have to be sad about it if. this isn't for you it might be for. someone else in your family. a grandparent or somebody a uncle or.

even just a. shady character that comes around to. smoke. that's right it's the real deal a. subscription to lucy comes directly to. your door. each month and you don't have to leave. your house because lucy has delivery. down. that's right go to lucy.co and use promo. code theo at checkout. that's lucy.co use promo code. theo if if you're trying to quit this is. a good way to try. feel good about yourself lucy.co promo.

code theo. it's pretty interesting man we got a. white fella right here who's obviously. likes the lakers and we're excited to. have him. what up theo what up joseph body by. bourbon here. i knew from back in the day on chelsea. handler as one of the panel you were. hilarious. i was just wondering if you missed doing. those shows or do you enjoy doing stand. up more. the uh mafungo skit with the cool whip. container. as a child is easily one of the funniest.

things i've ever heard. no one ever wanted to trade for those. doritos or oreos man it's a shame. or got a cuban rest shot not a lot of. mafunga was sold that day. other than that gang gang oh that's nice. he's just a fan huh that's awesome i i. you know i. miss chelsea i was doing stand-up before. chelsea. but uh i i always tell people um she was. the new johnny carson. you know when johnny waved you over to. the seat that meant you made it.

yeah and i felt the same way with. chelsea if she invited you to that pound. you. you slayed man you made it like they. came to see you. wow i was so nervous that one time i. went yeah man. too nervous i couldn't handle it i. didn't really yeah i think i was never a. big chelsea fan. and then it was just uh it was just i. was just. nervous it was like the only thing going. on for a lot of comedians yeah. you know i mean you guys were like top. of the he you know you guys were. you guys were getting on television.

every week you know every day. every day we were every single day we. were on which was crazy. they thought we were a cast people. thought we were a cast. i felt like i was on a prime time sitcom. that's how i felt. it was crazy that's why yeah it was it. was nuts man people were coming. out for those shows man i was always so. uptight and then i was. i just was not a chelsea fan so i just i. think that made me nervous. she was kind of intimidating that made. me nervous i was just kind of nervous at.

that time yeah i think i just wasn't. being myself really you know i was like. all right how do i look am i okay. does my you know is every are my eyes. open like just thinking about all these. other things yeah just being fun but did. you. here's a cool question did you did you. know who you were. yet like i feel like and it's just me. talking i feel like when you started. doing. after your last special and then you hit. the pod right after the last special. yeah i felt like that's when theo became.

theo yeah like i feel like your voice. really just. like cut right through after that i feel. like. during chelsea i think you were still in. that stage of i'm funny. but i i don't know am i right yeah. totally i i don't know what i am i don't. know what i'm doing. i'm trying to be like a white guy that. could be on a sitcom yeah i just didn't. know what. i was doing yeah you knew you were funny. i was afraid to be myself i think. you know i was afraid you know there's. not a lot of acceptance of southern.

style comedians really. there's not a lot of southern since the. blue collar tour there's not even. and i don't consider myself a southern. comedian but i don't think anyone does. they don't have that they just haven't. really taken anybody from our area even. yeah so like i don't even like that that. label. by the way to be honest like i don't. like it when people. i would never want to lay like i would. never label theo as a southern comic. yeah you're just a comedian. and you're really [ __ ] funny um just. like when people go oh. funny asian american it's like bro i'm.

just a comedian man. yeah you know i mean like there's no. difference from. me and you we're we're funny for what we. talked about yeah you know what i mean. and. and you know i think there are different. genres of comedy. you know i mean there's a puppeteer and. then there's a dancer and then there's a. magician and there's. political and there's all kinds of [ __ ]. that you can you can separate us by. yeah but we're storytellers man we're. just. we're comics that tell our stories yeah.

i like that that's a good point. yeah i never really felt into that space. kind of but i think i always felt like i. had to fight this label or something i. think a lot of the war was in may. possibly even in my own head you know. but yeah. um no it was you were right because i. felt the same way with me. i felt like i don't understand why you. guys are making me fight for this it's. obvious i'm funny. yeah so that's why i love chelsea so. much because she saw it right away when. you know i used to open for john lovitz. and then did i tell you this story. no i didn't so i used to open for john. lovitz at the laugh factory and.

this is when i'm cleaning yachts and. selling shoes at nordstrom rack. everywhere i was going to northrack and. i look at my phone it's just a number. and it's. and i answered and it's like hi it's. john levitt and i'm freaking out because. i used to impersonate him in school. you know what i mean the liar and all. that stuff you know all those jokes yeah. yeah and then uh and then here he is. actually on my phone. he's like i i really i've been watching. you at the laugh factory and. i really want you to open for me you'd. be hysterical. i'm doing a show i'm doing a show every.

wednesday night. love it's wednesdays or some [ __ ] i. don't know love it or not. i'm trying to make [ __ ] up and then uh. so i was like yeah and i started doing. these shows with them. and next you know this is a true story. you're gonna love this this is such a. [ __ ]. weird thing you ready nick i don't know. if i told you this story. but he goes he goes i'm gonna start i'm. gonna start. this is so funny i'm gonna start putting. this uh. lady on the show her name is chelsea. handler. she's so funny she's my only friend on.

myspace. what the [ __ ] he goes when you go home. go to your myspace she's my only friend. her. and tom and i went home and it was. literally. tom and her and that's when i found out. who chelsea was and she started doing. these shows. and after every show she would talk so. much [ __ ]. so while john's on stage she's just. talking [ __ ] and then she was like. i want you to be my sidekick i got this. show idea and we're. pitching the show and uh and i want you.

to be my sidekick. and so i was pretty much supposed to be. chewy. wow yeah and and then uh and then i. turned it down. but we went through all kinds of like. you know like like meetings they weren't. like full-on production meetings but it. was like ideas and. going through the meetings and getting. ready for the pitch and then finally i. was just like uh. i go hey chelsea i called her on the. phone i was like yeah. i just i really want to be my guy like i. don't want to be a sidekick i'm trying. to find.

this i want to do my own special i want. to blah blah and she cursed me out bro. damn it's like oh good luck with that. [ __ ] [ __ ] watch this bubble and she. just cursing me out. she's like this show is gonna be a. [ __ ] hit you made the wrong [ __ ]. decision and then she hangs up the phone. i'm just like. huh and six months later chelsea. lately is just blowing up wow and i'm at. nordstrom rack. and i remember my ex-wife picking me up. and uh while she's driving me home she's. like. i'm recording the show right now we got. to get home this this lady chelsea. handler. she's so funny i've seen it and i'm like.

that's the [ __ ] show i was supposed. to be on. dang and uh and i remember i was so. depressed. and uh wondering why you know why i said. no to it and uh. for six months i didn't get a call from. and then finally she called me. but but anyways what i was getting at. like i felt i feel like i'm always. fighting to tell people i'm funny yeah. chelsea was the only one that. said yes and and it was funny because it. was just like. comedy central's passing on me abc. turned me down.

you know i got on this one pilot they. fired me and it's just like. like what is going on why don't i have. an hour yet like i don't understand why. i don't have an hour i'm crushing on the. road right now why don't i have an hour. so. yeah i feel you man i just like what is. it that you're not getting is it because. you guys don't get it because. the country gets it right but why aren't. you guys getting it so. wow did you feel that way when you were. shooting your [ __ ]. yeah i mean i guess i felt i started to. get upset like you go into a lot of. rooms. in l.a and it's a lot of the same person.

when you go. in there yeah whether or not the. industry wants to really admit it i feel. like. it's always it's usually like a really. liberal person it's just. and that's fine it's just always the. same person yeah. so it's like at a certain point i'm like. well. how can any of these people have any cl. like yeah at a certain point there's. just too much of the same. they're just looking through too much of. a similar lens even yeah if they don't. just like if i went into a place and it. was. all um like redneck.

women or something at a certain point. i'd be like this is just too. there's too much of a monopoly on the. point of view yeah exactly at a certain. point it's just like i'm just like a. salmon but the water's too thick man. it's just like. this you know and it made me feel like. but it also made me feel like really. unwanted it made me feel. so i felt and it made me mad because it. was like man i. you know you're supposed to you're. telling me i'm supposed to come out of. my small town and get to hollywood and. this is where you can make it and this. is. but then i get there and it's like you.

don't want any nobody like me you don't. want anybody like me yeah. and i think it was also like around um. i mean i think i kind of made my switch. for things like right around. like the last election and it was like. um. like somebody wrote a article about my. special where it was like uh. oh this guy would be a perfect this is. the trump's perfect special. you know and it's like don't you see. this is a character this is like. yeah don't you have any satire like what. a [ __ ] idiot right yeah.

you know like it just i don't know man i. just felt so turned off by such a. a industry that was supposed to be. welcoming to everybody. and then it felt like oh not everybody. yeah not everybody you're. you're so right and then and then they. put you in that oh there you are. yeah and then i already have a favorite. stand-up comedian. uh he may find his kindred spirit in. theovonne and that's just [ __ ] i mean. what an [ __ ]. this guy's long been a shitty writer. yeah i mean he doesn't have a career and. then you know what else don't shout this. guy out by the way and then uh.

you know what i mean like you shouldn't. even put it up because you you just. you're giving them energy yeah which is. stupid because obviously this guy is. desperate. and he was always desperate and he would. always write about like the super like. schumer he would always. and they would always make fun of him. behind his back that was the craziest. thing yeah i've always been like oh he's. such a loser. and he's meanwhile just peddling to. write whatever article yeah. i'm like just the whole industry kind of. made me a little bit sick but that's. when i started doing podcasting and. that's like when tfatk had me on yeah um.

rogan had me on you guys had me on over. there when you were working at corolla. studios yeah you crushed um. just different and that's when you found. it right yeah that's when i was like oh. i'm just going to talk about stuff that. i know about i'm just going to talk. about just my life. and you know what you know you know. what's cool is like as as much as that. pisses me off right. but i'm kind of glad that that happened. yeah you know what i mean especially. with netflix like i told you the story. right i had to pay for it yeah you had. to do your own. yeah and like i did not understand why i.

had to pay for my own special. like i remember backstage after i i. taped the first show. me and my agent my manager and i'm just. like this is so unfair like i was so mad. like this is this is [ __ ]. like i don't get it like oh it would. have made me mad yeah because it's like. you know cause say oh by the way they. already said. when i when i said i was shooting in. seattle uh they made sure to call and go. hey we just want you guys to know. we don't we're not interested like they. really wanted to make sure that we. knew that so like just imagine the.

pressure bro. and like and my son's laying on the. couch in the green room i'm broke. after this special i'm i'm done all the. money that i saved up done. and then i was just like this is. [ __ ] why why do i gotta fight and. sell this. and then they still yeah and then you. have to then you have to put it on their. network how much did they. well here oh hold on i don't want to get. fired from netflix. i love netflix yeah uh don't get me. wrong i. it wasn't their fault right you know. what i mean it's just the uphill we're. talking about it was the uphill it was. the obstacle.

they they were they were booked they're. just they were legit they were legit. built. and who's to say who's to say because i. i use this example all the time right. like it's like. you can't get mad at someone that's. responsible for. billions of dollars right right and they. hire certain people like all right you. get you get. 50 million i want you to buy a bunch of. talent yo it's their. job to write these checks right and say. my. my special flops which i knew it wasn't. but say it did. they're the ones that get in trouble so.

it's like imagine if i had a couple. million dollars and someone goes go find. me some time like. that's a scary job and i get it and i i. do understand that and i know i'm making. excuses but. i'm also happy that they they didn't uh. give me a special because i went and. shot that thing myself and i went on to. shoot three more. on my own for netflix and and the the. two that that i shot after that. they gave me the money like they. literally just gave me the money said. here here we're all in. just you shoot it you did so good on.

that first special we don't want to. touch it. yeah they gave me full creative control. wow so it's like. yeah i was [ __ ] up with the obstacle. that they gave me but when i. showed them that i could do it and give. them a good product they bought three. more from me. right so yeah it's so great yeah it's. like you just got to get that scale to. tip you just yeah. and maybe that's what it was with you. maybe it's like yo you keep getting. pushed up against the wall and then. finally you're like yo [ __ ] it i'm right. here. i'll just do it this is what i'm gonna. do i'm gonna do me right here. yeah and then you look what you did now.

now everyone's on you. and now we have it yeah now we have a. new special that we're doing with. netflix which is cool but um yeah i feel. you i think it's just like. i don't know sometimes it did just seem. like the journey like the the. the struggle was easier for other people. but but it's like oh man. fear yeah we both know yeah and it. made it it did make this bad because i. i know who you're talking about yeah. it's not fantastic. we came up at the same time yeah so you. and i both saw.

you know certain comics and we're not. hating on them. we're not but we just knew that we. there was an obstacle and it wasn't fair. yeah. because i know what you're talking about. because there was i would watch a. special go what the [ __ ]. really [ __ ] really. but i wouldn't go public with it all. right it would be like yo [ __ ] this. oh i always have to bite my tongue but. but i knew it doesn't. yeah but but i knew but i knew my time. was coming.

i knew it and if i had to make it then i. had to make it. and i'll still make it dude they gave me. another one by the way they just i just. signed another deal. for my fourth that's crazy and and i'm. ready. and they want me to shoot now and i'm. like no i i know exactly when i'm gonna. shoot it and i know exactly where i'm. going to shoot it. and that's where it's going to be dang. that creative control is so important. right. yeah oh yeah and that's one thing that's. nice about netflix is that they give you. that. yeah um shout out to all of them by the. way i just want to.

do that robbie prog neil joanne they. they man robert guillermo yo they. are amazing over at netflix yeah and uh. and yo and i always say that you know i. what i just told you right now i did on. stage in malaysia. right i was doing this huge venue in. malaysia and i and i. told the whole netflix story about how. they didn't give me the. the deal and how i tried to get them to. come down and they kept canceling. you know come to this show i'll i'll fly. you out i even i told my manager i'll.

fly them to san francisco. i'll leave the jet running come watch my. set. we'll we'll shuttle them back to the jet. and fly back like i wanted that special. so bad bro. and they kept turning around and i was. like i don't get it like why why don't. you want to see what i'm doing right now. like i was really hurt by it and i was. saying this on stage and then i. you know and then ended the story by. saying hey i shot it myself and then. they bought it from me so what i'm. trying to say is don't let obstacles get. it's like an inspirational story right. yeah and then they were there.

and i had no idea that uh one of the. execs was there. and he was in line and he came and you. know the meet and greet and my [ __ ]. heart. fell out of my chest and i'm like. yo i don't want to say his name but uh i. go. i go you know that i you know i i i'm. just telling my side of the story and. you know but as you can tell i gave you. guys love that he was you know you don't. need to explain. he goes i want you to tell that story he.

goes please tell that story in fact do. that story on your next special on. netflix. tell that story yeah and i like he was. cool with it and and when he said that i. just hugged him and i was like thank you. i just. you know there was just a lot of. struggle that i was going through a lot. of tears you know what i mean. yeah there's nowhere to put it all a lot. of times i don't know where to put it. except in your work. nobody wants to hear like a lot of the. you know the sob story just doesn't. really there's no real place for it. there never is in the world it's like.

all of your what do you think that is. theo what do you think it is that people. don't want to hear the sob story well. it's not even a sob story. it's an it's an emotional story it's. like right it's a grind. like when people hear like what you just. said to me like i didn't know that about. you. i didn't know you were struggling. through that i really didn't i i always. looked at you. as the guy that was like killing it. and it was kind of making me jealous. because i knew i had like at least 10. years on you. yeah you know what i mean but i i never.

said that i every time i told you i. praised you. i was posting yours you were always. super. that inspires me like when i see someone. blowing up that inspires me. it's like okay it's possible what is it. that people don't want to hear. is it because they don't want any. motivation do they not want to be. inspired do they like. being where they're at does that make. sense. yeah i think it makes sense that's a. good question man i think.

there's i think the motivational side of. it there's there's a place for it. there's a place to share your struggle. there's a place to share what happened. and what it was like in your point of. view. yeah i think what there isn't a lot of. times is. there's no here's what there isn't. there's never. an apology yeah there's never like. and from the industry from whatever your. your idea in our heads of what the. industry is what. there's never like hey i'm i'm sorry we. didn't you know.

yeah there's never and i think that. sometimes get like can be. like it's just an unforgiving business. yeah there's no apologies there's no. whatever. you know and and it's in the end it's. just what i've learned about business. that business is just you know like you. said it's somebody in an office. who you know finally robbie came and saw. me downtown. at the wilton and we crushed it and it. was like and he was really great. gracious backstage and like really kind. and like um.

and it was different like you know in my. head i'm always thinking like oh these. people don't like me or they don't. you know uh you know and. but all that's just my side of the story. they're just doing business they're not. thinking about me. yeah just thinking about whatever they. have to do that day in their business. like. like anybody else yeah but there's never. an apology that's i think there's never. it's like that about a lot of things in. life like there's never. you know there's never like you're maybe. your dad behaved a certain way when you.

were young there's. there's no way to get a like a healing. from it sometimes there's just never a. healing you have to do it all yourself. yeah. you have to like just forgive you know. even if you made the war up in your own. head or whatever you have to forgive you. have to forgive you have to. there's never that moment of like hey we. were wrong. you know i and i don't know if that's. one thing about life that's kind of. tough sometimes. is um you know because i struggle with. my relationship with my mother and i.

but at a certain point it's like what am. i going to do hound like you know. she's an older she's getting older now. it's like. all i can do is be forgiving you know. just i may never get whatever it was i. needed her to you know to say or to do. that. [ __ ] may have long sailed you know man. we are the same person man. yeah you're so right about that and it's. hard it's a hard pill to swallow too. it's a hard pill to swallow ego's a. [ __ ] bro. it's scary bro look i want to tell you.

that i have been having an issue getting. a. home mortgage loan and refinance. and one of the reasons because i got a. couple of dings on the credit. you know i call experian and say hey boy. you dinged up you banged up son. i i didn't make a couple payments on. time timely payments they say. well thankfully i'm working with a. company called bridge. credit solutions they are different. they are backed with a hundred percent. money back guarantee.

for any items they cannot remove that's. right you will not find that anywhere. in the credit repair industry you'll. know exactly what you're paying for at. the beginning of the repair. bridge credit solutions prides itself on. its lightning quick turnaround time. they will guarantee removal of certain. negative. items in as quick as 24 hours. that's right now you will need to have. bridge. credit report access prior to scheduling.

your audit. they cannot go over your credit report. without it but that costs just. one dollar they are very personable. and they take credit repairs seriously. you can call or. text no matter the hour go check them. out they're helping me. bridge credit bridgecreditsolutions.com. theo. i see with a lot of these like athletes. too you see them struggling with ego you. know antonio brown and. you know michael thomas is having an. issue this year it seems like with the. saints just like.

the hype and the you know just what it. i mean that's a separate avenue but it's. what that does to us thinking about. ourselves and. well it's not us thinking look what i. meant by ego is like. just being a little too prideful where. you're like right i know i'm right. and until you say sorry then we can just. not talk yeah right is that what we're. saying oh yeah totally yeah that's a. good point yeah it's like until you. figure out your side of it. yeah but then sometimes it's like you're. holding a a.

grudge that's never that. that's never gonna be it's never gonna. be completed from the other side. yep so then it just leaves you sitting. there with the pieces and it's like okay. well what are you gonna do. you're gonna keep cutting your wrist. with these pieces are you gonna [ __ ]. you know you're gonna make them into. like a stained glass window and [ __ ]. move on. you know it's like um but it's hard and. sometimes you'll make the window and. that [ __ ] will fall apart again and. you'll [ __ ] get them back out. so true it's crazy it's on the ground. again. it's so beautiful for a minute yeah.

for a weekend it made sense it's back on. the [ __ ] ground. it's gonna take me months to fix but. then also it's. like you don't really like i think you. don't realize like that you're the. story for people a lot of times like man. joe coy made had to make his own. had to convince these people like had to. and to me it would be the most obvious. thing like you know it always seems like. they're making they're looking for. diversity they're looking for. you know who else what other what are. they gonna get manny pacquiao to [ __ ]. tell jokes like.

he can't even hold the microphone on the. gloves. i see them kept sleeping this microphone. it needs to be stickier. so it's like what was their plan how do. they and then. and then the gift you also give them by. reaching this audience. yeah man like [ __ ] bro that's a huge. gift. and so it's hard sometimes to feel when. you've been burned to then turn. around and realize that now you're just. gifting. you know um even more of.

you know of an audience to this already. huge you know conglomerate. but that's just i'm just happy that that. you and i. live in that time where we got to show. these kids that hey you got to open. these doors yeah. no matter how we did it people also did. it by coming to see us by. not giving like fans that's what it is. support you know yeah man. people are like i'm gonna go see joe coy. and make this special because i know. that he. brings joy you know to me or i'm gonna. go be there at the wilton and have a.

great time. and all those people don't realize that. all of that. goes into that moment where like. the executive finally says oh okay this. is a new piece of business for us. yeah exactly because that's how they see. it you're so right man. it's just it's tough when art and. and your heart me you know when when. when art and business meet each other. yeah. it's just it's a it's just a tough thing. man it is.

here's a fellow right here who has a. wants to chime in yeah he looks like. he's been growing a baby hair mustache. for a long time. oh yeah this guy definitely theo what's. up joe hey what's up my name is troy i. live in ohio. i just got home from work long day at. the office. um a question to you two is how do you. stay positive knowing that your dreams. are. pretty much in the gutter you had to. cash in that corporate check in order to. uh. pay for some bills and um didn't end up. getting that dream you know both y'all.

are standing comedians both of you all. do your thing but. for those others out there people like. me. what we got to say so we can keep on. trucking damn that how crazy that you. press play to that video after we just. said this. and that's just like nick's on point man. nixon pro next does a great job but um. man like there's a lot of people like. out there that think like that. and you know and and like yo it's it's. done for me. did you think like that at a point so.

take us there and then take us out of. there. bro when i was working at um at. nordstrom rack i swear and tony rock. just got a deal with uh some i forgot. what the show was but it was being. produced by will smith. and you know and we're doing the laugh. factory every night. and i'm at nordstrom rack i'm crushing. every night bro. oh i'm wearing waiters outfits i got. mustard and [ __ ] on my chest and i'm. crushing. you know alongside tony and dane and bob.

saget like. i'm [ __ ] slaying bro but then i'm. shelving shoes and i'm trying to buy. diapers and i'm just trying to make. these dvds to sell. and barely shelving shoes i'll be honest. at nordstrom rack yeah man rarely do you. get a match. rarely and by the way when i say. shelving shoes i'm just grabbing the. [ __ ] that's on the floor. and throwing it back on the rack oh i've. left in a sandal in a boot oh. 100 easily oh man when they. always came to ask me for a size and i. go back there i literally went back. there. to not look for that [ __ ] size i gave.

two shits. it was a five minute break for me and. then i came back and i'm like. i can't find it i think someone that. tried it on left it out. there good luck and you just see this. [ __ ] like what. my god can someone pick up these [ __ ]. shoes there's so many. it was like supermarket sweet for your. feet i feel like that's real. that was insane i remember i was walking. down the aisle because i had to pick up. shoes. and put them in a trash can and then you. fill up the trash can then you re.

restock it right as i'm going down each. aisle. there's a lady that had a shoe on and it. didn't work and she just kicked it. and and we both our eyes locked i'm like. you [ __ ] and then she's like. i'll get it i'm like yeah [ __ ] go get. it and won't you get the rest. you're the reason for this mess you. [ __ ]. she's just in there this ursula footwear. yeah yeah she's just trying them on and. kicking them off. but um but what i was saying is uh dude. there was times where i wanted to quit. man. i just wanted to quit i was i was.

getting so mad. you know you see all these guys just. getting stuff man. and you're just like dude what am i. doing why am i doing this even my mom's. telling me just get a full-time job. already. like your son's getting older now and. not older but he was like. two but she's like you gotta start. thinking about you know. school what kind of school what kind of. insurance are you going to get your son. like you don't have a. a job like you're working part-time like. like and. that [ __ ] is in your ear but it's also. like reality you're like. yeah i got to start thinking about my.

son maybe i'll go. be a manager at a bank or something like. i'll throw in the towel i don't know. so yeah a lot of that was happening but. i was like no i refuse. i couldn't do it man i just kept selling. to i you know i shot it. there's an hour special floating out. there i know someone has it. but i remember paying someone 500 bucks. or something like that. for like three cameras to go shoot me. somewhere wow and i was gonna sell that. as my special because everyone else was. getting specials. and i couldn't get one i was like i need.

a special and i went shot it was like. somewhere on sunset boulevard some. art museum or something like that and i. went shot it. and it's out there yeah it's it's. floating out there somewhere man that's. awesome yeah. that would crush if you got your hands. on that i know crazy right. yeah i'd still find that and sell that. nikoi crazy right um. you know i used to burn dvds at my. friend chris oh yeah yeah did you buy. the three disc tower and you burned them. like that. yes yeah i did that too dude i caught. that thing i put it in my butt.

take it to wherever to [ __ ] really. loony bin or whatever set that [ __ ] up. in the hotel. what and [ __ ] and burn those things all. right. the name of the of the dvd on it. dude some of the sketches on it they. weren't even [ __ ] mine they were the. [ __ ] i found the internet. dude oh that's funny that's so funny. totally broke there was some [ __ ] that. someone was just like this black guy. singing dude it was like i don't even. know what this [ __ ] is. theo's favorite things to watch that was.

the name of your dvd. at one time hey guys i'm theo vaughn. these are some of the funniest things i. like to watch. thank you for buying it. dude one time a lady bro uh she i just. sold her the case on accident she got. home he came the next day. oh there was no no dvd in it broke my. heart man and i would print off. down in the in the lobby of the business. area i would print off like all the. little dvd inserts. and put those things in man oh funny you. want to know what i did.

i uh my friend chris worked at. blockbuster video. and you know this is they would buy dvds. right but it would be. sony and all that right the the covers. but they wanted their. covers to say blockbuster on the inside. of it so they would take those covers. and throw them away and replace those. covers with. uh blockbuster covers wow and they would. have garbage bags full. bro i had thousands of blockbuster cut. like whatever those covers you know what.

i'm doing yeah there's cases i had. cases that's what they were called i had. so many of those man that's classy and. that's. and that's what i i put my sleeve in. that it looked like a legit dvd bro. that's awesome i even scanned a barcode. and it's in the bottom right corner. no i'll i'll send you a picture of it i. bet i think it's like it's probably soup. yeah if you scan it or probably say. campbell's i'm not even joking. i even got the logo that said dvd and i. put it on the on the spine of the thing. yeah i went got those printed off at a.

legit printing company. it said joe coy's dvd volume one. because jay-z had a volume one. i sold those for five bucks a pop. but you buy a stack for a hundred bucks. right yeah it was a stack for 100 bucks. you get 100 dvds. and i sold them for five bucks a pop man. after profit i mean your profit was 400. oh you could make yeah dude if you were. making some money man. because you you didn't make any money. going to do the work. no you never made money on those.

weekends you know i remember i went 20. over about 10 years i i had 27 000 i. think in credit card debt just from. doing the road you know and it was just. man that was scary that was that was. pretty scary. but i think with having a dream or how. you bounce back into it man. i think one thing that's interesting. about these days is. you can all you can start so many new. things like you couldn't back in the day. yeah you know like rarely back in the. day did someone go from being like a. realist like a minor in a coal mine.

like a real estate yeah you know but you. could do fracking now and then two. months later you could be mixing beats. like. [Laughter]. you could be dj weddings and i think. there's unique ways you can find. to create talent and create like some. type of revenue for yourself if you want. you know what i said the other day um. with all the tools that these kids have. now right they have. so many tools man you can make your own. book you can make your own magazine you. can make your own movie in the palm of. your hand and it's getting easier.

legit your own movie your camera is. legit. this close to being a red camera yeah. like it's the quality is so good. and everything is in the palm of your. hands. and what i'm trying to say is if you're. not doing something. because you have an excuse because you. need something else. you're literally just lazy right and. that's that's your. only problem it has nothing to do with. what you got or how much money you got. or. or uh i need this or i need that you are.

literally. lazy you're a lazy person and that's the. only thing you need to work on. and you can and that and that's. something that can be kind of cured you. know and not even to look at it like. also maximizing your laziness yeah man. you know like if you're going to be lazy. be lazy but also have some semblance of. a plan of when you're not going to be. yeah but yeah i think i i feel like. you know your dreams can change at any. time i mean nick was a. degenerate gambler yeah and a drunk nick. yeah thank you. nick dropped out of school yeah both of.

those things still so. yeah okay yeah i want you i want. everyone to know i i know nick. as well corolla and. and he would roll up and go hey man uh. the trunk of my car is missing. where is it uh it's behind a bar. yeah and then when i did get fired yeah. theo likes to say pick me up off the. free agent. yeah he was on cbs sports fantasy yeah. yeah. he was always great man nick was always. great yeah. yeah next one of a kind man he's a.

unique guy he's a degenerate gambler. but nick was living in his car and nick. went to vegas to play cards. he's it's close i played i played. full-time online poker. after college and i dropped out but then. separately. i just quit my job full-time job in. minneapolis and drove out here and lived. in my car until i got the internship at. corolla and he. hired me full-time but like literally. two work in podcasting. so i think there's ways yeah there's. just like i think there's different. times in your life too when it is tough. or like this gentleman's saying you know. yeah you know he might be at a different.

point in his life you might have a wife. or kid some responsibilities you might. have a family member you're responsible. for taking care of. yeah there's a guy justin mcclure will. you look him up real quick on facebook. so he's a comedian and uh he ended up. getting married. and he has two daughters and now they. have a. uh like a facebook live show. that's like a really popular show really. and it. and he just you know we worked together. a couple of times really really nice guy. hard worker um and he just kind of.

figured out how to make. something work for him and now they have. like a family show that. yeah you know that helps bring in. revenue for their family and stuff like. that and. it's really it's on facebook that's cool. man when you travel down that path and. you stay. on that path it eventually works out it. works out for something i think like. sometimes you don't know where. where the path is going to go and that's. the hardest part like knowing like. because i i used to do this thing called. crank texting where i would just text. strangers right.

like just text random phone numbers yeah. and i would just say hey what's up right. yeah. and then i get into a conversation. sometimes and somebody would think i was. an old friend or something hey is this. randall and it's like yeah i haven't. heard from you in a while and then. next thing you know i'm asking if i can. come stay the night and it's like you. know i'm in this. crazy conversation that makes no sense. right that's not even real yeah. like i was in relationships with people. like oh bro crazy stuff. crazy stuff so i mean i texted probably. about 40 000 numbers over a couple of. period are you serious dude i was so.

lonely i would text. i would text back this is when you were. on the road or you were just you were. just doing this this was all the time. did you bring up crank text nick. this was all the time um i would just. start texting strangers yeah i just got. into it and sometimes i would. uh just text just a group of people you. know just cranktext.com. um do you renew this. domain every year i think so. let's just see if it's still up.

so obviously it needs to be adjusted. here for the screen somehow. but yeah you get into different. conversations like i would text people. in a certain area code like in indiana. and i'd be like we're raising money for. uh civil war reenactments after school. team right. and you get into real conversations. people start leaving your voicemails and. next thing you know you have this whole. conversation then you can take it. and you post it in here right so you get. into like you know this one was one i. would text thank you for what's that the. hellman's one. thank you for entering the love your. helmets contest we'll be contacting you.

once the judges have reviewed all. entries. good luck and thank you for loving your. helmets you just send that to strangers. and people like what in the [ __ ] you. talking about dude. or you sent him a picture you know oh. hellman's man. and then they have to reply just so you. anyway but anyway i got an insane. conversation i would text a group of. people. and i would be like oh ricky won third. place and i would get a picture of an. asian kid with a trophy and just send it. to all of them in a mass text right. and so somebody would be like who's. ricky right and somebody would like take.

me off this chain right. and somebody would be like oh bless his. heart man and then. somebody else would be like who in the. [ __ ] is this man. and i'd be like if some of you guys. cared if you had been there you'd if. you cared more you'd have been there to. see him win right yeah so anyway i get. in this crazy conversation with people. and i would just save and put them. online anyway fast forward that was your. idea. right that was my idea right this was. probably a decade ago so howie mandel. was looking for somebody to host. a prank show yeah so i had done this. for years man i'd spend a ton of money.

paying people to edit them up. um spend a ton of time ton of time. and he's like oh i like your prank. website. and so that's how i got a job hosting. his prank show. so he saw it he saw it yeah and so it. was like. i'd spent all this time doing it and it. wasn't. getting anywhere yeah i just didn't have. the pr to make it pop. and uh and then it got me a job on his. show and it was it wasn't. it was you know it wasn't like my type.

of show really but it was a great. opportunity it gave me enough money. where i was able to then to pay back the. comedy debt that i built up. yeah and you also have a relationship. with howie and now i still have a. relationship with him yeah which is. great so. which then introduced me he got me on to. like arsenio hall one time to perform. just little things so it's just like you. just don't know what what you're doing. now where it could end you up. mm-hmm sometimes yeah and that yo and. when you give up on that. it's it's gone or when you stray off. that path yeah you know i mean.

and go off into a different direction if. your heart isn't that way. it's nothing's gonna happen right yeah. your heart has to be there though your. heart has to be here and whether. no matter how bad the struggle is as. long as your heart. is there things will happen i i keep. saying that like. every time i go on this road something. just. just comes into into my path. it just it just happens you know what i. mean and then next you know what this. relationship starts and next you know. i'm building this and now i'm writing.

this. and and that's what it is it's just. staying here man. once you give up and stray off like if i. would have became a manager like my mom. wanted me to be. i i'd be at wells fargo going hey man uh. let me tell you this one joke that i got. you're gonna love this one oh god here. comes that manager guys here he comes. again. here comes zinger he's always got a. pocket full of zingers. when i was living in my car i started a. website because they just released this. thing on nfl.com it was called the all.

22 cam so you could actually see the. place because you can't see that on tv. you can see what safeties are doing and. i wanted to break down the x's and o's. and i bought a website called. packersfilmroom.com. and i didn't know i was doing but i. learned how to build a website and i was. living in my car so like 150 dollars for. a domain. at that time was a significant amount of. money and it. went for nothing it didn't do anything. but i learned how to build a website and. a bunch of that stuff when i got hired. at corolla. i immediately started doing some of that. stuff for them and i just learned it. yeah yeah so at that time it was a scary. investment but you were so. your heart was in it that that thank god.

you did that. because it gave you the the tools that. you needed when you did. get the opportunity right doing doing. something is always better than doing. nothing. i guess what we're trying to say is risk. yes some risk there's. risk takers like there's risk takers. yeah but also you don't know what the. things you've been doing where that. those elements are going to be needed. yeah or when that value is going to pay. off. yes you just don't know when that value. is going to pay off sometimes man. um you know now nick has a a another mma.

podcast and they do. they talk about gambling on fights right. so he probably didn't know. yeah yeah yeah i haven't really put one. out but i'll put some content online and. people like are into it it's fun. and it's just what i like to do so but. who knows you know who knows a decade. ago when he's you know. just you know playing online poker you. just don't know sometimes. and you still don't know that's the. amazing thing about life is that it'd be. like oh. i still didn't realize this little thing. that happened so long ago yeah is gonna. pay this unique dividend um. in a financial way or a spiritual way or.

all types of ways that's crazy man my my. life from seattle. the the special that i had to shoot the. opening. joke was a joke i wrote uh. when i opened for corey holcomb on some. uh. nightclub that was out in a what is that. freeway the 18 or whatever just some. weird freeway when you're going towards. magic mountain and then. it goes palmdale it was out in palmdale. damn and i was opening for corey holcomb. and uh it was at a nightclub no one was.

allowed to sit on the dance floor they. said on the outside of the dance floor. we performed in the middle of the dance. floor. because the owner didn't want you to. scratch up the dance floor. so uh with chairs and tables. yeah yeah yeah scratch dancing with your. [ __ ] so. i went up i killed i by the way every. comic always says they kill right. so i killed and then we're driving back. and i'm not getting any love from corey. you know what i mean like. i'm like so now i gotta like bait him. into a compliment and i'm like yo man i.

destroyed that [ __ ] right he's like. yeah but um still don't know who the. [ __ ] you are [ __ ]. and i'm like what do you mean like like. i don't know who the [ __ ] you are like. who are you jokoy. you just did a bunch of [ __ ] well. you did all. that basically i was just doing the easy. [ __ ]. right to be funny right but i don't know. who you are. like who are you what are you and then i. swear to god man that whole ride was. just kind of like i mean we were still.

joking around but in my head i was like. [ __ ] i gotta i gotta write about who i. am. wow and and i and uh and i by the way i. was still opening for corey by the way. and um i tell this story in my book. because it was such a. it was one of those moments where you. get you get hip checked. and you get hip checked hard because i. was i was killing so much and i thought. oh that's. i'm a comic i'm a comedian until you. until you open for a veteran. and he's like who the [ __ ] are you bro. like what what's your voice.

do you know your voice what are you and. um. oh there it is next play and um and i. went home and i literally was just i. couldn't even sleep theo i just kept. looking at the ceiling just like trying. to figure out. how do i tell people who i am and i. never talk about my dad how can i save. my dad real quick without. going into it too deep and that's that. opening line that i say. in that uh special for live from seattle. was written that night from corey. holcomb. like 14 years ago wow it was a 14 year.

old joke that i never used. is that crazy it's crazy man there's. jokes that i'll be afraid to use for a. long time. you know yeah and they'll finally come. to the surface but yeah it's amazing man. mixed plate that's the book guys if you. want to grab it. yeah man pre-order uh it's not out yet. no. march wow we're supposed to be out this. year but i can't do a book tour. oh yeah so we want to wait till it opens. up and. we might postpone we don't know but uh i.

i still want to i want to be on the road. when that book comes out. yeah it'll be fun yeah man just interact. with people about it. we both did that sam adams deal man that. was because of you. yeah it was cool i wasn't even supposed. to be on that thing that was until theo. called. i'm glad i did it was that yours was. really cute man theo theo's amazing i. wanted everyone to know that. i thought yours was cool man let's watch. it real quick man. telling jokes for a living this is my. dream come true. i always wanted to be a comic and i love. it.

i'm joe coy stand up comedian. and i'm here to toast my mother that. two-pack baby. harrison without her none of this would. have happened. i think a lot of people forget to just. be grateful. people do stuff for us and then we just. act as if that's what they were supposed. to do. yeah it also sucks when you help. somebody and they walk by and you're. like. some of the [ __ ] didn't even thank me. ungrateful [ __ ]. my mom sacrificed everything to give me. the opportunity to live my dream.

and this coast was the best opportunity. for me to say thank you. you know when my mom and dad divorced i. was right around 10 11. and she became everything she was pretty. much the backbone of the entire family. when i said i want to be a comic her. head was like what. are you crazy is it your house i. remember. working in a shower store still doing. stand up at night my mom was just like. i told you stop doing this you're going. to be broke. no we live in a country where dreams are.

possible and it can happen. just give me some time. since day one i wanted to make sure that. the world. could laugh and when i tell your story. on stage it's something that i'm very. proud of. for years i was like how am i going to. talk about my mom i didn't want to go up. on stage and just be like oh i'm. filipino and filipinos do this. if you listen you're going to be like oh. my mom does the same [ __ ]. i mean you're doing great and i'm proud. of you you wanted me to be a lawyer well.

we digress now i see being a comedian my. goodness. i mean you're one thousand percent. secure. sam adams it's grassroots it's family. what i take from that is the same thing. that i got for my mom. and that's why sam adams is the best. beer for this toast. the reason why i brought you here today. is i wanted to toast you. this is hard harder than i thought. pretty lady man. it's a little too much you came to this.

country was to give the kids an. opportunity that. you knew that you would never have. everywhere i go people will be yelling. your name. and they clap their hand and i know it's. because of you. so i also want you to know that i'm so. proud of you you see you started this. you're the reason why i've been able to. do this thank you for everything you. sacrificed. so this is for you and i love you. did your mom drink beer and toast you ah.

you got me all right. so much thank you oh i always cry in. here. that's good yeah good i love it it's. cool. too you want some more yeah. you want some more. well i i didn't plan on watching it all. the way through but it's nice. it's a nice sentiment man you know it's. important oh man. it's you know it's hard to have like. moments like that with our parents i. think. it's hard to get to those moments and.

then actually follow through and. actually have them. yeah like sometimes i'll have an idea in. my head like okay i want to talk to my. mom about this or say this. or you know tell a family member this. but when it comes down to the moment. i just don't really follow through the. way i want to. i'll back off at a moment when i have a. feeling of some sort that's. uncomfortable. yeah you're right it's weird man it is. weird. but it's important you know it's. important bro that was cool. i didn't know he was crying i was trying. to fight my there was.

did you see me nick do this i looked out. like ah. man not now she's pretty lady man. dude uh dude did you hear what she said. that's that's when you know i'm not. lying about my mom when she goes. uh when i knew you were a thousand. percent secure oh. that those were those conversations when. she would tell me to quit. yeah secure that's a unique word people. don't just throw that around a lot of. times yeah she she was. all about benefits and health insurance.

security retirement like dude like. that's military stuff yeah man really. that's my mom that's how she talk you. know she was married to. two soldiers so that's all she talks. about my mom has been talking about. retirement since. she was 36. so you just live first talk about. retirement later. that's funny man yeah it's powerful man. it's interesting man it's interesting to. see.

now thanks for uh calling uh those guys. by the way that was really cool of you. yeah that was great well they had a cool. campaign man mm-hmm. it was a cool campaign you did yours. with i did mine just with the audience. oh yeah so mine was just at the laugh. factory with the audience. brendan did his i think with brian yeah. who else sigura. shafir ooh how was segura's i didn't see. that one. um he might have done his wife. oh yeah probably yeah i gotta watch it. but pretty cool man um thank you man.

yeah thank you man thank you for coming. in today and just chatting it was good. some of the things you said i needed to. hear just like you know just kind of. stay the road and just be reminded of. like. you know that i still want to be funny. and i want to like yeah you know to just. find that dream that passion. yeah you know and realize that i still. have stories that i want to tell. and even more so like who who am i. yeah man you know like i love telling. stories and i love telling. but sometimes it would be brave to even.

get even more into who i am. i wish you would but that's why when i. said that last time about your cartoons. i'm like dude. this has to be a series it's like you. have a story after a story after a story. and they just keep coming out of you. yeah i can't wait to see all of them by. the way my son's a huge fan of yours oh. that's cool man yeah he loves you man. yeah he's a handsome guy he's growing up. huh yeah so oh yeah he's great. he's he's going to be 18 here pretty. soon i told him. we'll put him on the shelf yeah yeah oh. yeah. hang it oh we want him here you bought.

him here forever i'm gonna send you the. picture man. my favorite part is when we both looked. down at and then we both looked at each. other and he's like. i'll i'll pick him up dad let me pick. him up. no [ __ ] yeah uh is does he does he have. a. funny vibe what's his vibe oh he's very. funny he's got it. um i don't know what he wants to do i. know he he loves making beats. but i really see him acting and man if. he could do stand-up.

man i would love to open for my son man. oh that'd be cool. i would love it man i would love to just. retire and be like hey son can i. can i just do five minutes in front of. you i would love that that'd be so cool. that'd be so cool. have you ever known anybody that got to. do that i think only damon junior is the. only one i know. that's true that uh i don't know if they. tour but that would be dope to have. damon and damon jr. on the same ticket one of my favorite. nights ever i was over at uh. hunter hunter henry uh hunter hill has a.

show. over at you said los ciena get the black. box over there and. damon wayans was then going to be there. and i grew up on living color. oh so by the way last stand i think. that's his special i think that's what. it's called hbo special. you guys you have to watch it it's great. it's a beast man i've seen it. crushes go watch it all right go ahead. i'm sorry to meet you but i. i told a joke and he i heard him laugh. at one point. it's in the back of the room and it was.

like every moment of my childhood of. like impersonating. him on the street with my friends and. everything it was just it did all come. full circle it was real cool. that's so cool man it was pretty dope. mixed plate you can get it early. uh pre-order now right yes if you order. joey.com. and uh thanks so much for coming to. spending time with us nikki have. anything else. no thanks for coming joe dude that was. amazing yeah it's funny thank you. [ __ ] bro love you bro i love you now i'm. just floating. on the breeze and i feel like these.

[Music]. oh but when i reach that ground i'll. share this piece of mind i found i can. feel it. in my bones but it's gonna take. a little time. for me to set that parking brake and let. myself go.

i'll sit and tell you my stories. [Music]. and now i've been moving way too fast on. the runaway train with a heavy load of.

my. pants. and these rails that i've been riding on. they want something that they're damn. they're. girl now. [Music].