Jim Breuer | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #320

today's episode is brought to you by. liquid death mountain water. murder your thirst today's guest is um. i mean the dude is just a real. you know he's gone the road most. traveled and then. the road he wanted to travel um. we're gonna learn you know i don't know. if we're gonna learn [ __ ] but we're. gonna do our best man. i'm just honored to be here here with. him today i actually met him 20 years. ago. but neither one of us really remembers.

it but um but we'll get into it. ladies and gentlemen mr jim. [Music]. and brewer you my stories. [Applause].

i once you realize the point of you're. not in it for the rest of the world. you're in it for you and for what you. want to put out there. i don't care what this one says. what movie they'll put i don't care yeah. it's this is. you can't get a better life than what. you're doing right now yeah you can't. you you beat the system yeah that is. uh there's no.

better thing in life you control your. destiny yeah i think i feel sometimes. are we rolling. i think i feel sometimes like there's. always this thing like. like if you don't there's like a. validation this like this is this. invisible validation. you know i'm talking about that. conversation yeah i know all that it's. this hollywood thing it's like oh if i. don't. you know i could have i could be selling. tickets but if i'm not on the tonight. show man i'm a no. you know there's no i don't have that i. haven't been licked by the goose or. something you know. of course so i start i started out i.

wanted to be accepted by. by this guy and this guy and this. comedian because all comedians are like. unless you're accepted by. this guy or that guy right and um. you're not in i'm not in and and to be. honest with you i didn't like any of. them. because i didn't like any of them they. were. i i grew up uh very very. family oriented morals grounded.

when i grew up it was god family. friends everyone looks after each other. this industry is i'll slice slice your. throat. i'll dance in your blood and then. videotape it and make money off. yeah and and it's uh. it's traumatizing is the best word to. use it and. uh i i went through i went through a lot. uh through the whole coming up the whole.

system i learned so much. i'm glad what i learned you know. sometimes i'll reflect on. i talk a lot about uh you're talking. about things. god is so sad i don't even know where to. start so yeah no. thanks for coming in it started with the. clubs. doing the city clubs and the city. in new york city and uh you know. it was it was uh i can i knew there was. envy. and and people were jealous and like.

what am i doing to bother you what am i. doing to bother you right. i'm doing my set and this is bothering. you bothering you that they're laughing. what is going on so uh as as time went. on at. hollywood i realized it. is it was the most vile. it's soulless yeah right there's yeah. you look for this. you look to think at some point this. thing has to have a heart.

or some compassion and there's and it. never. turns that and if anything it's it. lures you in and going no i'm here for. you. i'm gonna give you some honesty and. compassion and then when you're not. looking. at it. it's uh yeah it's pretty it's. uh it'll make so shady it doesn't even. it's i know you don't make [ __ ].

sashimi. traumatizing is a good word man like i. have uh. i have a friend who just got in trouble. he was using a they caught him that he. was using a racial slur and. and it's crazy like they uh. so our news outlets this was fascinating. to me. news outlets that never would have even. paid attention to him before. are now like put like just using the. term racial slur in their headlines. right. so basically they're using.

his mess up you know his mistake to just. to get. their clicks and it's like yeah it's. just because. they're in the way they're using the. word now. like they're using the racial you know. what i'm saying they're then using it. and i don't understand what that is or. where it comes from but i consider. all them bottom feeders yeah they're. complete bottom feeders. and but there's people there's. real humans that are attached to the. that are in the tank you know. they're in the tank their days are.

coming yeah you can't live. forever with with with trying to do that. to people. did you um so was there a point where. you kind of felt like okay i'm going to. take myself. out of this some or i'm going to slow. this train. down like i just remembered just from an. outsider perspective i just remember. dang that's jim brewer man he's one of. the funniest guys that there is and he's. a star like i didn't. i never noticed that you like separated. yourself from. like some of the vibe or the industry or.

something did did you feel like you kind. of did that oh i know i did. it was uh first it was the. what once you know i kind of got i won't. say. shot out of a i had to drive i was. confident i was cocky so. in 89 i decided. this is what i'm doing forever right and. i was the. i was doing clubs and was out of florida. were you doing well then. yeah and i had goals i was like i'm. gonna become house emc. to the middle and then when i'm middle.

i'm gonna make your life miserable. yeah trying to follow that it was fun. and i loved that oh being in the middle. was [ __ ] good you get off to. 22 minutes you're a [ __ ] legend. crushing it. and then they're like we want to flop. you not not for the same pay you're not. yeah. so i went through that stage we're going. to like follow the kid. yeah oh yeah there's always that guy. dude yeah and then you meet. and then you come across some people. that that school you. yeah oh you don't you think i've never. seen someone like you before.

guy you know what i'll go up before you. ping ping pong bang. follow that kid oh wow okay yeah maybe. we shouldn't. flip-flop yeah and then um once. tv started uh. i was actually on a an old black show. called the uptown comedy club that was. my first. big it wasn't huge but it was that was. a weekly show it was syndicated uptown. comedy club was it so was it sketches.

and stuff. yeah no when i say was it awesome. you know what it was it was it was the. best. television show i've ever been on my. life. and why i say that because there were no. egos. uh everyone was everyone was helping. each other. i i've and i thought this was. i thought this was the industry and not. only that. they would they would talk to us like. the producers were sitting it was in. harlem. yeah it was 125th and 5th in 89.

uh no this is 92 damn that must have. been. that was such a hype time too there was. so much like. i'm sure especially in harlem there was. like just a lot of fun energy in the air. oh my god and it was it was it was a. tough area oh yeah. i saw someone get a shot yeah that's. awesome dude. tracy morgan was on that show and i'll. never forget. it it taught me about.

uh the hood yeah and. and a different side of of what you st. it's just a completely different side of. life that i. that no college could ever teach you. there's no teaching. teacher when i'll never forget what. happened was i heard. right and tracy morgan goes who got shot. and i went oh you heard the fireworks he. was uh i wouldn't fire him so we got. shot. but he said it as as. calmly yes yeah and then he went oh he's.

across the street. oh he's struggling and i still thought. he was kidding. like he's play-by-play like he's out. michael suddenly yeah and. look at this guy i can't even get. another yard yeah like oh. he might get another brow he's down he's. on the ground he's flattened out. oh he's trying to get back up he's up to. his oh he's down again are these oh he's. out of bounds man. when it comes to being alive this guy's. out of basket oh and here comes the. hecklers. look at you now look at there's nothing. worse of being shot. you're getting knuckles and now the.

hecklers come. while you're struggling for your life. for your life oh he's leaking he leaking. he's always getting hard and i'll never. forget the one guy had no teeth he came. up i swear to god he goes. you smell that that's like you smell. smoke it smell like when i was involved. in vietnam you can still smell the smoke. oh my god and i'll never forget since. the blood is dripping. over the curb and and it's going down.

the drain. yeah us and then the paramedics come. like yeah you know so two jews walk in a. bar. i got a greek joke for you bro and still. they look at you now. yeah lookie i was like what you're like. all right let's go back to rehearsing. and then a church choir shows up also. though for no reason. like it's just amazing dude. so that to go from that to. uh then the.

real hollywood came and i'll tell you. what. i'll let you in on a loose sun but i'm. not gonna drop names okay. but i'll never forget the these are. black producers. uh a guy named kevin brown and andre. brown. uh and he was later on 30 rock but he. they would come to us and they would. tell us about. vanity and losing your mind in hollywood. and be careful. and they came back from hollywood to try. and expand us. and they sat us down like you ain't. gonna believe what we saw.

what what did you see and they said we. saw. so and so huge name. so-and-so huge name. and so and so big name back in the day. chicken hawking at a party and i went. see you're white i said what's chicken. hawking everyone. he's white he don't know chicken i said. what is chicken hawking that's when you.

uh. hanging out with boys at a transvestites. i went why. what uh see now you now you're telling. stories. now you're telling stories yeah but. i never forgot that three years later. this name. ping busted chicken hawking that one's. sick. this one bing busted yeah. huh they swept that uh that's what i. call. to me hollywood's a mafia it's a big.

dark mafia yeah it is and then what. happens is. i remember one of them it was like the. mobsters come they're like we understand. not mobs is like a town right right. right whatever you're talking about. the attorneys yeah right and they come. along like listen. you sign this you do some movies there. we'll put the soul under the table we. got enough money to make this go away. paying it's gone no one ever brings it. up. no one ever brings it up with this. person that's crazy and there's two or. three of them.

huge huge but. i guess what i'm saying is by time i. started doing sonic live. and i have baked blah blah and and. tv thing you know tim allen all this. chat it was. that's when i really saw how. dark and so it's just it was dark. it's i get creeped out i get scared to. death. it was soulless yeah never seen anything.

it and i still every time i get out. there. i feel like oh man i just i don't feel. life out there yeah i feel it at all. you know what i know i've always said. when i get off the plane there i feel. like i'm in the office it always. like um i just feel like i'm in an. office constantly it always. every light feels like a fluorescent. light it feels like it never ends um. but it's hard to find a it is it's hard. to find a comfort out there. but there's always this dangle of a. carrot yeah and it's a carrot and i.

don't even know what it is because like. it's vanity is vanity is it. you know you want this right you know. you want this. you're better than so and so you know. you're better than so and so. you get this then it'll be worth this. yeah and then you're and then your road. will be worth this. you want to be you think that person. deserves to be in arenas. or on billboards you should be on take. you want it.

it's there's a lit that is oh i believe. that that's what we're saying as you're. saying it i'm thinking that i'm thinking. i'm trying to feel like you know. a lot of times things will land for me. and my feelings like is it vanity is it. yeah it's something it's ego and vanity. yeah. it's ego it's vanity i want to be better. than them. yeah it's uh yeah it's uh it's not easy. no it's not easy and i i think also you. start to see the others. like you start to see the other side of. it too where it just. there's never like an understanding you.

never get to talk to the person to have. the conversation about what's. it's just there's never any real. instructions it's all kind of. vague the business is vague the money is. it's all it's all vague and there's all. extra people always stacked in at the. last minute you've never. met right and they are they're living. and they've owned your family now. they're just crazy your grandfather is. now their grandfather. it's a non-stop scarface movie yeah yeah. you got it you got the money got the. other seven of you.

what just happened we thank you. what's going on they're cutting you. they're they're putting you in a. commercial for bone saws as they're. cutting you in half you know. put this dress on and then take out your. take your pants off and this is gonna. get you big time. it's gotten sick man here's a question. right here that came in from someone. this isn't live jim this is uh just a. man that sent this right here.

sure what up jim huge fan man. man ever since half baked man. anyways i've been a comedian for about. five years. what do you think the future is for us. uh here with kovid going on. by the way man why eyes always look so. high gang gang. um future question what is kind of we. have do you think some of the future i. mean. things slowed down during covet for sure. i mean a lot of stages are still open. it's one of the reasons why i. ended up coming here because stages are.

open and because it's a free state here. you know but. um but yeah it's what do you think man. where do you see kind of some comedy. going like do you see anything different. does this stage still hold the same. like this is the last point of uh. i'll tell you what after doing last. night in uh. um zany's last night. i felt like i was in a 2000 seat theater. wow the electricity of of.

people was explosive and there was a. it was a a woman a little older on my. right chatter. and and i went a mustache. she's she's eating her chips and. everyone's like ah. and i turned away are you okay you're. not having fun. and sure i'm just enjoying being out i'm. just having my chips. and i'm just so happy i have a mask on. i'll start paying attention a minute. and i laughed so hard what i feel you. the crowd cheer.

there's a um live is never going to die. even if we have to go back to the 20s. and do it in people's houses. you're not going to stop that right. that's the will of humanity you can't. stop us. from being social as though they're. doing their darndest. yeah whoever they are but they're doing. a they're doing everything they can to. scare the living life. out of you to to try to convince you. that you are capable of. murdering your grandmother and feeling.

guilty about. about hugging people and being with one. another. to me that's that's the cult. oh you know they point fit that's the. real cult the ones that are going. you know are you ready to live your life. knowing you killed your grandmother. you're the cult you're the problem that. stems from. pure dark there's nothing good about. that. we're only here one time we need to hug.

we need to see smiles. we need to touch that's humanity you. take that away. it's over yeah if you take that away. what's the point i'm just here i'm just. a. you know i'm a piece of a video game. that can't even really play know and. that's what they want. and people falling for it all clients. say they would watch the news like this. that's great what the numbers are going. up the numbers are going up. the numbers are going up where you mask. wear your mask. when you mask wear your mask grandma.

killer. grandma killer grandma killer. oh my god get back in your cage yeah. please. oh i don't know what you know people. always ask me like i don't know where. we're going. because every time i think i know where. we're going uh. then boom the the tick tock verdi person. takes off and then the instagram person. takes off. and the podcast takes off no one knows. what what people wanna. or comedy is wide open everyone needs to. laugh. and there's and and there's.

every extreme type of comedy. so it's never gonna die you need to. laugh. but back to that guy's question i don't. know where it's going i don't know. i don't know i have no clue i'm not. worried about it i can only do what i. can. control right 53. you know i still need someone to help me. with i i need this guy. i just found this guy that's shawn yeah. i just found my sean. i'm like you need to edit yeah i started.

packing. my i'm looking at my podcast yeah i've. been doing it but then i stopped because. i don't i. have to call the guy right yeah you got. to get around that knows them. the person would and the he calls the. girl. yeah oh my god with the cables yes i. just. i think i could post in two weeks i need. sean yeah. who goes okay first of all the lights. like i was watching. what i filmed wednesday and there's a. shadow over my face every two seconds.

like i got i gotta look somewhat. professional yeah i gotta my microphones. don't look anything like this. look like oh yeah bebop that [ __ ] ham. radio style. yes so i i need i just found a sean i. have to tighten up. but you have to you have to adjust. people would love it your voice needs to. be out there i think you know people. would absolutely love it. uh it's there's there's neat guys. starting when dana carvey started one. he's a good human being oh dana carver. is this exceptional man. he's a good human being he's such a.

sweet uh dad. and he's a loving guy and he's very. he's realistic he's like respectful of. everyone but. also realistic and so smart that you. just have to listen and when he talks. kind of. um and he can drift from a story into. like a. into funny like from so real and funny. like in like. like a stream almost you don't even. notice it flowing you know like the. guy's blood to the [ __ ] drain you. know yeah. yes yeah and he's uh he's like you say. he's a real human being yeah oh.

yeah i'm always rooting for dana carvey. yeah i'm always checking like what's. going on with david carvey yeah he's a. neat guy and he got a he took off a show. business for a while. and went and just lived his life and. raised his kids in. san francisco yeah i. did you guys work together i don't even. remember i don't know a ton he hosted he. hosted when i was on sunday live. okay he couldn't have been nicer. couldn't have been more giving. couldn't have been uh he was he was like. the big brother.

that came he was the frat brother that. came so let me tell you about the frat. house here. right oh nice and let me tell you about. the ways and yeah. so he was he's always tr he was charming. and you remember those things you. remember when you crossed people's paths. what they were um that's a good point. but i do i do uh it was right after. a guy like him it was at the end of snl. half-baked. came out and i was just done with the. whole industry. really as i was done were you burnt out.

also though. physically and stuff do you think from i. mean were you just exhausted emotionally. yeah emotion emotional. it was it was it was so exhausting. sign it live was. it it was as much as. as the times when you're up to bat you. hit the ball in the upper deck. to just to get to the plate. is so exhausting yeah this one takes.

your idea. right this one takes party idea and does. it but you can't say no because he's the. one that's in the room with lauren. picking the sketches. yeah and then you finally step up to. this person and now you're a problem. and you're like it was it was and my. wife. my wife there's times when i. really wanted to knock her flat on her. back because she just. she don't get it you don't get it yeah. and she'd be like no. you don't get it you don't get it.

i can see what you don't see and so i. remember. she was looking at me in new york city. and she goes. you know why you just quit. or are you cr are you are you listening. to yourself. you don't quit you grind through dopey. are you seriously out of your mind. you're just nubs in a wheelchair don't. you even. yeah she's like you smoke what's her. name what's her first name d yeah d. don't you even [ __ ] know dude you. don't know [ __ ] you don't.

quit show [ __ ] i'm on top of the game. you see his tattoo yeah he sees that. dude says. snl alum. danny ackroyd volusia alum carvey. farley i'm in it i'm in the club and you. can't take those stripes up. i'm in it yeah millions of people trying. to get me i'm in. it yeah there's people buying my doll. yeah. people doing that in aisles right now so. she's going dead guys a lot of dead guys.

die like that. you have a guy on i'm a detective just. saying hey we got another uh. we got another um uh jim brew. impersonator over here guys come see it. yeah look at this. he's dropping the douche that was it. shows over stunk like a sonic gun trying. to keep the flies out it's the tough. part. here's a question from a guy right here. that came let's finish up so dee got you. out. but having her perspective helped is. that what you're saying or no it was. scary as hell.

but her perspective has always helped on. many things that have happened in my. life. many things that have happened but she's. like look at you. you smoking pot non-stop you're becoming. a. an angry person uh and it's just. it's consuming your life and you don't. you always. this one's you're talking about stealing. but she's like i saw my own two eyes. why do you need so bad you're talented. like you know you don't.

you don't you just don't yeah and. we did and i remember. no matter who we had we had producers. movie producers she didn't kiss me. i don't like that guy's an [ __ ] he. made this movie in this movies and he. made bridges in madison county yeah he's. he's an [ __ ] yeah. and there and and this guy made babe pig. in the city. it has been reported that americans are. overpaying on car insurance by over 21.

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when you use promo code theo that's. right. get that wiener on daddy you feel me. just pay five dollars shipping. that's b l u e c h ew. dot com promo code t h e. o um what's this guy up to. yeah what is this [ __ ] homeowner and. we started a family what. these guys so that's the end of the. story and we started a family and we. started that yeah. yeah now i'm three kids deep and. pregnant that's how it is and. pregnant that's right it's what happened. it is we were done with.

with the snl went to san fran let's do. this. kid came out his head was all stretched. it was a mess. hey man how you doing um jim want to. give a shout. out to first off madam high school and. jacob's pizzeria. uh chester new jersey i know i know. you're familiar with that area. uh talking speaking of new jersey wanted. to ask you is a question. um give me some underrated. new jersey stand-up comics did i know. there's so much talent in our state uh.

and i know. you got a good pulse on that so give me. give me three names that. maybe we don't know about that i should. be following is the stages open there. yes no um. that's a fair answer yes i know yes the. answer is yes because i was doing um. like tuesday nights at the stress. factory oh yeah. but he has the setup outside. which is bigger than the inside. and they were he really did it smart he.

tented the whole thing in. heat i mean it was in december it was. freezing. but the only mishap is behind you. is the parking garage so you know you're. 15 minutes in. and there's. one more boys yeah slap and slap. it yeah and you go and then spousal. abuse don't forget. yeah you stupid shut your face what were.

you looking at him for. i wasn't knocking my hand all day and. you get out of the car you and. so uh but then i just played. uh uh what's the place it's it's. it's in red bank i played there. vogel the outdoor place was it indoor it. was indoor. uh yeah the red bank it's like a it's. called the vogel. there is there is the count basie yeah. count base that's what i played at but. they can't do count basie.

so now they have the vogel which was. only it was a beautiful. theater within the count basie oh nice. and so. but it was you know it's like 200 people. it's still awesome. to wear masks no it's the first show i. did would have to wear a mask. it was awkward was it yeah it was weird. you could tell they were annoyed. and they can't even and what if they. want to do i guess they got no snacks. huh. no snacks they had snacks but they're. literally like make [ __ ] just. like that yeah because the governor.

lives in the town. and he comes in i understand you're not. keeping up with the rules and. regulations. this is for your safety. you don't want to kill your grandmother. do you yeah. i see we are at 27 there will be a rest. made. it's crazy man yeah i just don't. understand in most people's minds. because it's crazy some of the smartest.

people i know. go along with everything that's going on. here so easily it's like. how do you not see so what the numbers. on some. on some news channel that their only. goal is to keep you watching. but if you drive by the hospital or if. you look buy a. you can go to a clinic a walk-in clinic. here there's nobody that like. how does it not way to people that to at. least alert in their heads. something is not right here i. i think more people know.

something's not right i think also. uh they're doing a real good job with. the eye candy fear. and i'm wondering. if it's gonna break. like uh when you're on the highway and. everyone's afraid to pass the state. trooper oh yeah. even though he's going 60 you're like. well i can't get pulled over against 65. yeah and then the one finally does. you're like let's follow this guy.

yeah i saw his sweat looks like then you. should enough. i kind of feel the minute if it ever. happens. and it has to happen yeah where. people go we're not shutting down but. you need. a couple people to do yeah you find me. so what you can't. none of these things are laws right. right if you ever end up going to a. court you're gonna you're gonna somehow. win but you win yeah.

you it's scared to we find you so what. we're gonna revoke you to go ahead. yeah you can't you don't have. you can't make the law so you know we. could talk about it's all we want but no. one's doing anything. right and that that's the scary part but. it is bizarre to me. how many people will watch this and then. they'll and then they'll come after me. foaming at the mouth going you know and. their thing is always the same people. like you're crying. yeah or you'll be people died yeah. and i feel like going no do you know how.

many people. that you believe died because of what. you're watching right. you know i was on a podcast like i. couldn't even find a dead person i bet. you if you gave me two hours right now. i couldn't find a dead person from covid. if i went door to door i'm talking. banging. even breaking and entering doing. anything coming in the back door. smoking people out doing a fire in the. back standing by the front with a net. or uh i bet i could i'm serious bro i. bet i couldn't find. one [ __ ] dead person i haven't found. one i have. i have a couple first of all i had it uh.

my daughter had it my wife had it. um another good friend his whole family. had it. for us it was a bit it was a cold right. it was a bad cold. um oh yeah i agree i believe there's a. flu i believe there's a. a special variant of a flu there's. always a flu in the winter. yeah there's flus there's coals. bronchitis. it's all gone it's funny how all that. stuff is gone yeah. it's just gone and people will hear this. and be like no it's not me.

but it is though if you think about all. the time you heard about it like you. just have to trust the logic in my head. i don't even think i'm coming from a. place of judgment i think i'm just. coming from a real place inside of me. that feels like. this doesn't make sense makes zero sense. that's common sense and that's and what. they're pushing is the whole. it's science science doesn't have common. sense but you can manipulate. numbers you can manipulate science to. scare tactic that's the difference. so you can put science as your religion.

and as your. fact or whatever it still doesn't define. logic yeah and i'd rather die by some. logic man like my mom's. my mother's hard work and been working. her life she's like if i die. i die you know like i don't want to be i. don't want to never see anybody the last. four years of my life. listen and this is a good story but i. always bring this up i don't want to bum. people out it's not like what but. my wife 2012 uh. she had breast cancer all right boom.

breasts come off the blood she's gonna. go on natural wow breast off huh. oh yeah that history whole shebang 2014. it comes backs in the lymph nodes gotta. take it out do the chemo and all that. jazz. um we are now 20 2016. end of the year um hey. bad news it's everywhere it's everywhere. butter brain. what do we do well she's got a couple. months we'll give her pain.

medicine or she can live on a trial. so she's been on a trial drug in. philadelphia. it'll be it'll just pass four years. thank you god now the point of that. story is. we've already been living the life of. common sense. and she too oh the family and everyone. else are the ones that go. you know you got to be very careful and. it and you know your immune system and. jim shouldn't travel she's like you know. what i.

no one knows when we're going to die. yeah i'm not going to live recklessly. but you're not going to control my life. and how i should live. and the way i should live because you. are scared. and my wife and i live it's interesting. the way. we live and and we when we would go. somewhere if i saw someone sick. i'd go hey man don't go over there. because that guy's sick but i'm not. gonna ask the whole place. to wear a mask and and double down. because my what. that's my responsibility right that's my.

thing. that that's part of the you know if you. if you're 400 pounds and you got. you get the gout three times a year and. you have diabetes back. you gotta be careful with everything but. back off the sugar shrimp for sure. exactly whatever you're doing you gotta. take it down a level. bronchitis is gonna take you out yeah a. hard staircase. is going to take you out so this whole. mentality. is pure insanity and it makes no sense.

and you know what. i don't care about people's backlash. anymore yeah. i know it's right right i know it's in. my heart of heart. i know what common sense god gave us. common sense. yeah thought process instinct your. instinct tells you. something weird is going on yeah common. sense tells you. something weird is going yeah nobody you. can't. so yeah you're right on it man you got. to live your life. yeah i want to live my life not like an. idiot but you live your life.

yeah yeah i want and i want to like. that's what i want it's like i think. that's the thing. and like you know a lot of people have. also the the side effects of people. dying. or struggling from like um being hurt. from like addiction or not seeing their. loved ones broken-hearted. the gate they had a fellow beautiful. fellow gay gentleman that was a piano. player at the comedy store. and he died because a lot of people. think he died just because he got so. lonesome. you know and it's that's guesstimated. but the guy for 25 years had been a.

pianist right there for. the best you know my youngest daughter. has has put on weight. she's depressed she hates school. she used to love it because she's got to. wear a mask that won't let him stay. together. she it's like being in a cube cubicle. her friends it's it's the worst thing. you can be doing to humanity and anyone. that wants to fiercely defend it. i'm ready to go at it with you yeah i. don't have to tell you you're not gonna.

control me. and the billions of people that feel the. same way hey man it's over and there's a. lot of people that. yeah there's a lot of people that feel. the same way and we just have to start. speaking up in small ways and also i. think just speaking up in our actions. you know. like be respectful and but also just. speak up in our actions like. that doesn't mean go out and do. something bad or something aggressive it. just means stand your ground for what. you believe also. stand your ground do be fearless. yeah fearless and i you know i was on a. podcast where i don't know. um who was it christopher fitzsimmons oh.

greg fitzsimmons. fitzgerald and he's he's uh i've known. him a while but he's. he toes the line he's he's he's in it. yeah he's in the the la world and he. keeps going back and i just kept going. king hitting the ball right don't give. me that nonsense bro. and he's a good guy and we can hang. forever but. he tried a little bit like no no he's. going to believe this. like yeah makes a lot of sense yeah.

scene with my own eyes. you know there's a guy we have this crew. uh where i live uh and we it's an. amazing community that we built. and this is what i'm going to start. bringing on my podcast because they're i. i i don't mind being funny but also my. big. struggle with you is yeah you could say. it i've struggled with pornography. mostly. i don't struggle with that oh you don't. no no no i i probably did when i was. younger. i think everybody does it's a racket but.

i'll tell you why that's bad too. oh it's bad it's horrible i'll tell you. why that's that's. real bad that is another oversaturated. well targeted. um and it's it's. i always i always say this you remember. the first time you saw it. oh yeah drawing this dude nick in our. town. two dollars he would draw you some cuda. for the weekend right. so you'd hit him up on friday or. thursday night if you wanted a good. sketch right. but even on friday afternoon you could. get a a scribble i remember this and he.

would freaking los you know he'd launch. you out that two dollar hit ron you'd. keep it all weekend. and then somebody chiseled a set of tits. into like a birch tree. and people would go out there and jerk. off by it. kids and adults bro not at the same time. but you know you had to be respectful. but you know everybody was out there i. remember that it was a good time for me. it was. it was phil's dad's tape oh. phil come on and we were let's call phil.

phil and gil dad get his [ __ ] 80 year. old dad on the line. and talk about the lives he's ruined. phil's dad's tapes. he i was i don't care what anyone says. when you first see. you're traumatized it's crazy you look. at the whole world differently. you look at women differently you you go. from staring at them to staring. at them yeah and you think that's why. and if you notice it's gotten more. violent more evil.

as time went like this whole thing oh. yeah who came up with. if it can't even do that smack smack. smack. who said i love you so much smack smack. yeah i love you so. god i love you yeah that is legal rape. a lot of heimlich maneuvers all there's. all types of like you know. let me wait i got a punch in your temple. right before you orgasm let me know when. you. let me pink you said you were orgasm you. said you were going there.

come on we had to do this again. [Laughter]. are you sure this time good yeah. okay crazy it's legal rape. and i yeah it's crazy that that and like. that it's just it's freaking bizarre man. it's the dark arts dude i was addicted. to it for a while and i do pretty good. these days you know but. every now and then it seeps in man you. know it's hard to keep it out. i will not see now when i.

i once i had daughters that's another. whole. oh that'd be different i have three. girls so it in my head i'm always like. oh god if if i do this is it gonna come. back around. yeah i'm one of those guys if i do this. that's weiner karma dog. it is but you're right and i'm like. someone's gonna come in. and and my and the kid's gonna be into. this. and it all sparked but that's how i i i. think like that. that's that energy flow yeah because it.

could be possible here's a guy right. here who used to be a mime who [ __ ]. is recovering. he's a recovering mime look at this. question yeah beautiful fella. like before we do it i'm going to. predict okay. it's definitely in the half-baked world. i could see that maybe why what makes. you say that his eyes. he looks a little lit up oh he does look. a little lit up on this little little. pink but i don't know he's very. confident with the shirt and. hat he looks like his name would be sam.

he seemed like he has a very. like a name that's kind of ambiguous i'm. gonna say. it's more of the uh midwestern. like midwestern name like trevor. okay yeah but trevor i could see trevor. trance we had a god bless. grant yeah like a trend yeah we had a. guy last name. brunch growing up varsity yeah. what's up vars.

let's see what he's got what up theo. what up jim brewer. my name is danny i'm from clearwater. florida um. jim i got a question for you man so i. actually went to coconuts comedy club. and did a comedy set there on open mic. and i heard that that's where you. started out doing comedy so i just got a. question for you man. how is it getting started in comedy and. what do you recommend. to be able to go with the time limit. because the first time i did comedy i. swear to god i lasted 30 seconds and.

then i said. i can't do this and i walked off stage. the second time i did comedy. i went 30 seconds over the five limit. open mic time limit. so uh yeah words and advice would be. appreciated much love gang. gang theo gang bro well if you're carlos. smith c. now if you went that long dude you're. basically you're you're dave chappelle. you've done it bro you saw if you went. that long the second time you're doing. fine. yeah yeah i 100 100 and yes i used to uh. do. coconuts that's kind of the first.

chain that started giving me lots of. work and yeah. a lot of them were remodes yeah. remodeled. at the uh happy hour it didn't matter i. just i wanted to work so. and i was way off with that kid that kid. has a good soul oh yeah nice kid. they they used to have you know people. have been murdered at every vermont at. every ramada. there's a uh there's been a murder at. every ramada really now yeah. finally it took finally it was about. you know i was waiting for the hundred. percent here they were at 99.

for a real long time they were hovering. i'm like when is biloxi. it's right next to a greyhound station i. thought it would go first. come on but yeah man pretty cool. there's a website that tracked it there. was like one of those like uh uh. this is like probably four years ago. that there was a the website finally. closed down but there was like murders. at i guess every ramadan you. you married uh i'm not married explains.

everything i'm willing. i get and the reason i say is like wow. if i had i'd. cause i couldn't imagine looking stuff. like that. up but if i was alone yeah and single. i'd be looking off some wild stuff just. dropping. facts that people weren't even prepared. for me to slap down. are you ready for this ping yeah. yeah you know tarantulas have heavy feet. like this um. i uh when you look back on some of those.

times do you feel good about them like. when you look back on your on your. hollywood times i feel great about. everything i did. yeah because i i do i love the journey. i've been on. i love that uh. the move i made and i i did have. resentment for a while. with a lot of things uh i had. animosity and anger what was anger about. do you feel like it like because it's. hard. anger's so hard to pinpoint sometimes.

and a lot of times it has to do with. myself you know i find um. because i can be angry at others but. they're just doing their thing they. don't [ __ ] it you know. they're just true you know this was a. different anger i. i'm i'm really i'm one of those guys too. where i get. angry for. injustice oh yeah so. that infuriates me. that makes me wanna that makes me wanna. fight. yeah um and yeah i want things to be.

fair. just be fair and not for me there's. there was. something that was taken from me. and and sold oh i see like a project or. something you had. yep right on and given to someone and i. don't think that person even knows. and it blew up so big wow so when i'm. home.

with my little babies and and trying to. i wanted to stay home um so i took a. radio gig. and i'm watching that. that was a tough period and that's where. that's where. see now i do have like a deep moral. godly. thing and and i'm not afraid to talk. about anymore so at that time. my wife i'll never forget she's like jim. as i was in my basement look i was like.

right there i met him. and i called him and then he gave. he sold it to them i'm talking she's. like jimmy i got 20 million dollars. i'm gonna ask so i'm gonna put this out. there. i was ready you turned into henry. rollins at the very end the first. all that i believed until the very end i.

feel like you turned into like henry. rollins and black flag you know. yes i feel like yes and she goes i'll. never forget. jim let him have it i said all right. seriously is there something wrong with. you. is something wrong with you or something. right you don't get so many. if that's all they got they don't have. what you got. i got she's like you got a beautiful. house. we got a couple acres you said you want. to be home with your girl you're home. with your girls yeah. you you go to a radio show for two hours.

a day. with your best friends that's fun. yeah but gotcha don't let them have it. if that's all they got. it'll catch up to him cut two. five years later this one crash. burn people turn on him this one. plummets plummets. beyond hard to the point where i started. feeling badly oh man.

yeah it's terrible to have the and and. the amazing part of it is and i don't. wanna i don't want to allude to names or. anything yeah no and i'm not asking you. to. but what is amazing for people what it. can help is. years later see i got to hold my dad. to his last breath which is all i ever. begged like i said god please. all i want in life is i don't want that. man alone i want to be. i want to be there for him world war ii. vet.

grew up in in newport in in uh uh. dayton kentucky kentucky just not even. the real dayton. no across the river. from just 10 kids no. mother i mean. as raw as you can get i didn't realize. my dad. had that in him until we saw johnny cash. for the first time together no huh yeah. i was like 10 years old. long island um westbury music fair.

and he came out did the whole hello um. and he goes yeah yeehaw we live in long. island. yeah he goes i was born in kentucky. i'm a kentucky guy heck williams senior. not junior. junior can he the senior juniors. and then i started so the point of the. story is i'm all over the place but.

he never complained in life this man. could have complained about everything. war for years uh his his first so. he was alcohol just the things he never. complained. always there for me couldn't he was. older. so he couldn't really interact much but. he was always there solid. never talk i think i remember four. conversation my dad wow but they were. powerful. they were powerful he was just step in. like are you talking about when he. started playing with your donkey in the. pictures. yeah when i went through that phase he. saw the picture he's like hey.

well wait wait let your mother see that. it's really disturbing. yeah enough with that yeah not for that. [ __ ]. none of that [ __ ] hey we're gonna play. your time. that shit's gonna get you trouble okay. daddy. so he was really old he he was. he was uh 45 when he had me my mom was. 42. i was an accident my mom had wow my mom. 22 to have a kids older. back then right back then so you know my.

mom would tell me she should have like. three martinis saying yeah. you were supposed to be an abortion. because they said you'd be [ __ ]. that's what you were saying you're like. i got pretty close ma i said well look. at me yeah. at least i tried i tried to try my best. well they said i beat down syndrome. in our town man because they thought i. had it for like the first year and a. half a month no kidding. and then they literally told my parents. that i beat it dude and so it was like. it was like this kind of thing in our. area wow pretty crazy. and so to be able to go through that in.

life. and still have what i have now i could. tour what i want and my kids we found an. amazing. i've been all over the world my kids all. over i mean africa and safari. really been doing fun stuff huh oh yeah. bands i love metallica ac dc. i mean it's like a living dream and so. watching these other people crash it was. a couple years ago. i went to l.a to promote something.

and we already discussed how i feel. about it and i found this little. neighborhood place cross street was a. ihop. i don't know in the name place really. cool little hotel. and i went out to eat and it was a. little place on. up the street it was almost like a. mexican and pizza. and i was just sitting there and this. guy came up to me. one of the people and i go uh. hey and he goes hey man. i just want to tell you i i i really.

respect what you did with your dad. and you made this documentary and i just. uh. i just i i respect what you do. and all i saw was that that was like. grace. and healing because if this person knew. how i felt. years before about this person. and the other person involved. and now here they are coming back i see.

where they're going. and where my life is and it's. they're hard to get through but you. don't know the long term right when you. stick to your thing. it's you just don't know when you're. chasing. it's amazing you need that balance. um yeah yeah that makes sense yeah 100. it's hard to know like what the moment. right now that it. is part of a bigger painting you know. it's so hard to know it's impossible. and of course the way that we're built.

now with instantaneocity and doing stuff. right now. and this and that and jack and jill and. jeff you know doing whatever you want. you could jerk off out of your pocket. you know. yes you could get somebody to bring a. mountain dew or you could you know you. could kill some there's. websites you can get people killed you. can do it all in a second yes there's. there's so much like i control. everything that there's. never any like i'm gonna let the higher. powers and the powers that be control. things. i'm gonna live in the plan you know i. tell you what and and the more.

feel the more i've done that in the last. five ten years where i go you know what. and and this is this is where. things really shifted for me around 2008. 2009. and i started changing my stand up i. started changing my. outlook i always feared that people. would see me as like oh we. like all moral and stuff and it's like i. feared that. why don't why did i fear that what's. wrong with being that. yeah or trying to be also it's a goal. it's a it's just a it's not even a goal.

it's just an attempt. yeah and it's it's a it's a way of. living it's wrong which is giving. goodness you know. so the more the minute i tapped into. that and the more i said you know what. like now i'm going out and touring yes i. want to make money blah blah blah. but the end i get i get so much more out. of. i know this sounds corny touching lives. it is i've done it a lot. and and i the more i go i'm going to do.

this. because i want to you know it's and i. think a lot has to do with my wife my. wife. she goes so she's she's found jesus. years ago and that was another hole. right like whoa. whoa whoa whoa what's going on here yeah. it was boom it was a powerful story. but just i didn't see it coming well. it's also when. when people are go and that experience. for people is their own experience. finding a higher power finding a faith. that kind of thing it's there. so even if you're like it's such a. personal experience that.

yeah it's hard to really kind of share. with somebody in a lot of ways and for. them to kind of um. and you're instantly judged oh yeah oh. especially these days dude yeah. you're a freak or you're you know you. think you're like ah she's nothing like. that. yeah you know she'll do things like this. she'll go i get on the metallica i'm on. i'm touring with metallica yeah. for me that was a legend yeah this is. the greatest. this is the greatest this is better than. any sitcom yeah i don't want to be in. the movies i'm torn. with my metallica guy you kidding me.

yeah. so um and you guys are out there right. who's the other opening man. and also there is none [ __ ] i'm the. opener that's crazy dog. so yeah and i had but before you worked. in metallica had you worked with a band. and it didn't work because it you know. it never works for anyone. uh no. i i did a little something in front of. alice in chains once because it made me. go up less. they were like come on.

birthday party at perry farrell's house. dude a friend of mine lee. like they knew the family or whatever so. he went over there for his. one-year-old's party. and uh me and perry would [ __ ] sit in. the library just. and literally i could not understand one. word that he said.

he was describing different books to me. on this shelf. bro i had no idea what was going on is. that that's uh. jane's addiction too right it's uh they. came on senate live. and i'll never forget this i was so. hopped up so they did the first song. and they were they were damaged damaged. so in between they're like i'll never. forget i'm hanging out and they go. he goes perry goes hey. can we do that song over and uh.

the producer goes it was live. matter of fact your second song is cut. they're the first band. i got their second song cut away cut. they just because they were so ripped i. had now i have to go look at it watch it. the first time they were on sunday live. it's probably between 95 and 98. and they did this hey look it up sean. bang bang bang bang and when they were. finished. i just remember going i didn't do that. again they went now you're done you're. done for tonight.

you're out show's over that was live. let's hit this guy we're coming back. we're all right let's see what this. guy's doing right here. this is jimmy john right here jimmy john. was on here uh john lau. towed he's from illinois and he i love. how you do this the guy who started. jimmy john's. um this is really cool wait what did you. guys start jimmy. no the guy who started jimmy johnson's. on here this guy resembles him very well. okay. okay all right what's up theo. the legend jim brewer what's going on. this is matt in south florida.

jim i've admired you for god knows how. long. you have shared so much of your life. throughout your career especially the. stories on the stern show you've left no. stone unturned in terms of your. transparency. but anybody who knows you knows that. you're probably one of the more. admirable people in this world the care. that you gave your father. even when he was going through those. difficult times was uh definitely. remarkable to see. what's one piece of advice you would. give to somebody who um.

does have a special relationship with. their father or parent. in general and maybe fears those later. years in life. um you know knowing that they want to. care for them but knowing what's coming. next. hopefully we can all meet it as. gracefully as you did. um and obviously uh have a special. relationship like you did. so thanks for listening gang gang bro. where where. when is this air it could probably go up. tomorrow but we could do it whenever. okay well it doesn't matter so so i.

won't say the hotel i'm at okay. so the hotel i'm at this just happened. last night. i cut my i have a cut in here and my. nail. is is slit to here so i call downstairs. all right do you have a nail clipper and. you're like now darling we ain't got one. and walgreens is closed. captioning not.

condom available tomorrow and you go get. you but there was another guy. and i don't know if he was a janitor or. whatever because he didn't look like he. was checking. he's probably loitering but yeah. he's always there he's always there he's. behind it he gets it. he's worked his way behind whoever that. is but a xeroxer. yeah he's already worked his way the guy. in there just hears the bell. yeah right so he he comes and he goes uh.

jim same thing goes man i love. i watch that stuff you do with your dad. he goes i'm going through this. right now wow and the best advice i tell. people. is. the hardest thing we go through in life. is watching our parents struggle. because they're your rocks they're your. idols. they're your source of of power they're. your. they're invincible and.

his father was only 66 years old which. is still young. and he said he got in a terrible. accident smashed his head. uh it wasn't his fault. he was horseback riding he was uh in a. horseback race no. he he was sitting i i still don't know. he wasn't a civil warrior. okay he was part of a vote oh man i said. not that rifle that's the real one. cheddar damn what's wrong with you sorry.

billy all right he's bleeding bad yeah. he's bleeding bad dog. he's bleeding bad dad it's always i'm. gonna go out on a limb and say 80. of people in cwr's are father sons baby. yeah you're right. so he goes um and i sti there was part. of me want to ask this question because. i. i still can't all i heard was his father. was sitting down. and someone was undoing the hitch on the. car. or the truck and the hitch smash his. head. and i couldn't visualize and i wasn't.

gonna deal like well all right so what. happened. he goes he was so he's damaged and he. still can't remember he's he's done he. can't walk. whoa your dad's a fried egg. so he goes and and he slowly start i. said you know what the worst part is. when you start. oh he goes you know he's kind of pissing. all over and i went. is he like you know the toughest thing. for me was the dry heaves. my father dropped a deuce and i'm like. oh you dry heat. my neck would hurt is it because it's.

also your father's excrement. i mean hard and you know. but what i realized was the minute. they can't drive i try to explain to. this guy i went listen the best thing. you could do. taking care of anyone is you have to. remove all selfishness. this is really getting in my way i ain't. got time for this i'm really big this is. not a good timing in my life.

this is not blah blah blah because. that's what happens it's really hard to. put that aside well my sister should do. it but. let's do it maybe we can hire someone to. do it. they are they reach a point you got to. understand. the last thing you want in life is now i. can't drive. now i can't go to the bathroom myself. and they don't want to let you know i. mean before this happened. you said your father was driving around. damn well now he's got a. can you go get me do you mind just going.

to get a couple things from the grocery. store. uh he's feeling that a. depression he knows he's gonna die. um so you gotta put yourself my fa i'll. never forget. uh i was coming home from i i could my. next book is gonna be the top 10 cities. and my father crapped himself. in public i love that public i had great. stories. but i found the humor in it you got to. laugh at it. and one of the last ones was he we were.

uh. just got off the plane he looked at me. he's like i gotta go. and to me he said he'd go which he went. oh so he's one of them tiny planes to. get him off i'm dry even. i get him into uh the the united. president's club right i said i got i. need i need to get in here. yeah i need some we can't do this and. yeah this ain't gonna happen. coach it ain't gonna happen so we get in. there and i'm dry even. and i had an extra pair of sweatpants i. just remember him looking at me defeated.

oh. he said you're never gonna bring me. around again are you. we're never gonna travel anymore and i. it hit me so. hard and i just went. no we're gonna travel it's not gonna. feed you until we get to where we're. going man. i just i can't feed you i can't have. anything in your system. i'm going to starve you hard so the. i guess yeah he he laughed. but he wasn't a laugh or he'd just go. like this.

that was him laughing yeah that was me. crushing with my dad yeah. but uh the best thing is put your life. into there you don't know what they're. where they're at mentally so all you. gotta do is constantly cheer i just get. my my. dad once he couldn't drive gave up on. life wouldn't shower. wouldn't wouldn't shave so i'd have to. turn on some hank williams. and johnny cash and i'd make it a whole. i didn't know what a barber shop was so. i'd. set up like a barber shop and his. bathroom in it and i'd be sitting. driving him nuts busting his balls.

okay. oh my god dad this is bad i stuck on. like really bad. but we needed that we needed to scrub. his ass. like dad you think i like scrubbing your. ass like ew you [ __ ] way up in there. would y'all be in the shower together no. god no no i could i couldn't do that. now i've stepped in with him yeah that's. what i'm talking about bro teamwork and. i bring up. i like it yeah anyway.

because when they get older they can't. wipe their ass oh yeah. it's hard now it's exactly so it's sit. i'm at that age too i'm like why i gotta. write my ass again. and i go around back a lot of times i go. i always go around. you do yeah wow i just started doing. that what do you mean. yeah i went uh hold the nuts up. frontward for a long time. oh damn you come this way yeah yeah it's. crazy. wow i never went that many my life. really yeah i don't want it on my. no not will you just stop before you're.

nuts oh that's crazy. that way as much as possible but that's. such a six year old movie still doing. that. i feel and i have a big butt so to go. around my butt is tougher. and i have short arms big butt wait a. minute so you coming up here what if you. were on the front. side no you don't miss i mean you're. it's really you kind of scoot up on the. bowl. i think it's oh it's really practical to. me honestly look you know. we recently got the website done and the. fella that did it fella i grew up with. named timmy. beautiful guy beautiful slender fell.

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what crazy bro crazy my first jokes were. all about growing up with like an old. dad and like. oh my gosh see i thought mine was 23. yeah 1923 1910. yeah it was crazy man but it's just. interesting like. like um i think just the things like i. would get i felt. i feel bad as i got older i was. embarrassed to my dad a lot just like. the way his skin would look like just. little things like. he'd fall asleep at the game like he'd.

fall asleep dude my dad bought a car for. some black guys in our neighborhood and. so. he had this car that had these 22s in it. this delta cutlass 88 or something but. had these 22. speakers in the back of it right yeah so. he'd be listening like paul harvey like. you know like. yeah paul harvey good day. just at the [ __ ] loudest base you. could have just dead asleep in the. [ __ ] carpool line bro. we'd have to walk down to the car to get. in and the teacher knew we were so. embarrassed dude and it was just this. [ __ ]. sometimes we would make him drive and.

walk down the block and then get in like. i don't know sometimes i still have like. this weird shame from like. just i just wasn't in a space to be. loving i was just like a like a kid. you know you didn't know i didn't know. my dad world war ii and all that like i. didn't. he would say to me he's like i ran a big. one eight and nine i'm like what does. that mean. yeah and even when you learn in school. you know you don't comprehend. and he'd watch the war things like i'm. not comprehending what's going on. you have to get older that's another. thing about just like the big picture of. life like.

that's one thing i feel bad when people. die young because you just don't get to. see like how it all. kind of adds up and it all the balance. sheet. all averages out yeah and sometimes i. wonder. at least this is the only way it works. in my mind where. if someone die i've had people in my. life die young. and it's actually empowered. a certain amount of people their their. spirit. right and power like it happened for me.

like it really. uh empowered me in a lot of ways a a. dear friend of mine. um what happened to him who was he she. it was a she. and we were we were best friends it was. florida it was before i went full-blown. into stand-up and she kept saying you. need to do stand-up. and she liked me but i didn't realize. she really liked me. and we lived right next door each other. but it was about. i was lost in florida i mean i grew up. in long island and. we grew up like brothers and sisters on. the same street our whole lives. and and we were brought we were brothers.

and sisters and. and even when phil's dad's tape broke. out we were like now we're playing truth. or dares. like we were and then my parents we. just bought a house in florida what and. then i go down there and. people talk different and there's no. like well you just stripped me my life. um so she was kind of a saving grace she. was from boston. and uh and i it was. it was it was uh she was she was.

we were we were bickering over something. happened i want to go into details. and then uh long story short i saw her. one night. i actually i was like god man i if. there's an opportunity to talk to her i. don't like this feeling i would talk to. her and sure enough after about two and. a half weeks she was sitting in a. breezeway as i pulled in late at night. and went over and like hey i'm sorry i. you know. i miss you i love you and we talked for. hours and she basically.

told me like it was all her things were. closed and she's like you know i. couldn't go to the prom. and now i was on the beach and i met. this guy from boston that i went to. school with and he just moved down here. and he asked me the prom and. oh my gosh amazing and i gave her this. kiss and next day she's like tomorrow i. got photography class. you want to go and i didn't want to go. um yeah so i. purposely was like a little late mm-hmm. so i'm like hey mary and i got home. she died a car crashed but.

that it was weird it was uh and that was. the beginning. of when i went to the funeral it was. very you know she was she was a senior. and so who were you. you were senior 19 19 and so she. i remember being the funeral and going. wow this is this is. not the way this is weird so i went. outside. with a couple friends so this is not. what she would want right now she wants. me to do calm she wanted blah blah and i. started. i started making everyone laugh and. started imitating what you'd be saying.

to us right now and what we would be. doing. and everyone started laughing and then i. stopped like oh this is not cool because. now everyone's coming outside and. this ain't cool this ain't cool and they. went no no don't stop keep going. and then it was weird. uh that's powerful. because somebody's gone and you're. there's this pow there's this power of. like. of being like a valve release in a weird. way. it was and then i i stopped at her grave.

before and i would talk to all the time. i'd have i don't even smoke but she'd. smoke and i'd have a cigarette start i. went to her grave where he left i'm like. hey man. i didn't realize how much he left. because her mom gave me these poems she. wrote about me i was like oh. wow and one of them was like. uh uh if i can't have him i'd rather. just not be here and i can love him from. a deeper place. oh wow damn. so i went to a i went to the grave and i. went a. a kirsten i just want to kristen i want.

to tell you. look out for me do your best i'm not. sure i'll ever. meet anyone that loved me the way you. loved me. and i know i'm going to make it i'm. going to make it i'm gonna be a star. i pray to god i meet a girl before that. because i want her to fall in love with. me and not the star. i go i i know you're gonna be looking. after me and blah blah. it was also weird stuff at her uh. the day of the funeral we went back to. the house everyone's crying and stuff. and i went outside.

and i was like i can't believe i i i. hope you're okay and i looked up dude. there was this. it was clear there was a freaking. rainbow in a circle. directly above her house so i went in. i'm like you guys gotta look at it we. all look it was. it was just wacky mo now of course other. people like well yeah because on those. particular days. right there's particles and that's why. in the science set like yeah well i. don't kill my moment. yeah for you it's that for me it's. something else yeah for me it's a little.

bit of magic it's a [ __ ] loose care. bear out there. i don't know i don't know it's for me. something else bro take it easy yeah uh. i'm not shoving on you i'm just telling. you how i felt. like giving you a book and going right. here don't kill my magic. a lot of people want to kill your. [ __ ] magic i want to get magic. because they got none. they got none bro i'll tell you what it. was so scary when young people died man. well now i forgot where we're going with. this no go the one i interrupted you no. no. what what the hell was i even talking. about why was i saying this i don't know.

bro you were talking was she your first. kiss you think that girl no i didn't. kiss her you didn't. never kissed wow just friends huh we. were deep friends and. oh powerful on the other side i don't. know where i was going but i'll tell you. it's perception you know when my dad. died that was the toughest. uh loss for me and after he died. i'm sitting this is crazy this is and. these are stories like i was afraid to. tell but i was like you know what it. happened what am i. i'm in my living room.

would you you know those cries when. you're like. your mouth is open yeah it's almost like. primordial yeah it's pr i call it the. primal cry. and um i'm you know i pray like duh you. know what. what happens i don't know what happens. you know my wife thinks you'll see jesus. or whatever. i don't know who the hell knows. so i'm just asking like do you feel it. like d is it an energy do we become a a.

plant like what what ha or just is it. nothingness are we in space. or we have fault like what happens yeah. and i'm going i wish i could just. feel his energy dude on my kids lives. hope they. die from lying i start here. and it's non-stop and i look in the and. there's this freaking bird. flying into the windows you think. anything like this he's weak. and i'm looking at him and you look like. your dad.

he looked like that but i sit there then. i'm going. like dad like this is just like what's. going on dude. so i talked myself out of it this is too. weird this is crazy. every time i walk away thing we do it. again this. this bird for a year and a half. every day would start in the room where. my dad died. right and then he'd go around the house. and go to that same window every day.

it was a cardinal now people now people. like you know. cardinals angel and uh. migration pattern they do yeah and but. then you got my father-in-law he's like. jesus christ it's a male bird he sees. his reflection he's trying to kill it. it's not your father you die we go in. the grave it's over. oh my god don't kill it man don't kill. it so now this thing becomes a joke. it really becomes a joke because um you. know the kids would start talking to the.

grandpa grandpa's here it's weekend you. can't be knocking on the windows 6 30 in. the morning. i want to sleep on the weekend not cool. yeah. and then this is but this is the weird. part. this is weird this thing lasted. it showed up in october made a whole. year through october. all the way the following march it's. still going my wife and i and the kids. would go to turks and caicos and we go. there for vacation we'll see him. and that's a little bit of money i uh.

not like a lot. i've done it right yeah i've done all. right um. i'm done all right so all my money. is is it's not in my bank it's in my. kids heads. right from private schools and it's in. africa and australia. and it's all over the place yeah it's. underwater scuba diving. whale sharks it's everywhere. they're like dad we're broken you show. them a picture of them on [ __ ]. kilimanjaro base camp. here's another 100k.

that that zebra was worth every. 100k cost. so so yeah that d. minus my kid gets in private school. that's my house on the beach right there. bang. um so with the which is why jim brewer's. on the comedy club tour.

i wasn't thinking long term no. salary for a year how much money we got. left. oh my god start [ __ ] comedy clubs are. you sure. yes yeah yeah how much for a show uh two. dollars. bucket um [ __ ] schneider just did 14. shows here last week i saw that that's. crazy i saw all right so let me finish. and i want to talk about schneider. turkey caicos primal crime. bro i on my kids lives this is weird.

i i go you know what and a mother i. talked just like that i went you know. what. i've been holding on to you too long. this is this is wrong for me to hold on. to you. this is what not i'm letting you go i'm. so sorry. that i've been crying like this i'm so. sorry i'm always sad when i think of you. from now on i'm just gonna i'm gonna. laugh my ass off i don't think he. because he was. funny my dad was dark funny. and sexually everything was a sex joke. yeah everything.

oh yeah non-stop you know we'd my mom. would try to go to uh. if we go to a wedding which he hated. yeah hated church so the myth the priest. was like oh my god. yeah with no pants on jim. he just wants your money this [ __ ]. he was he just wants some money and some. kid titty you know. throwing him under the bus bro i would.

bring him by snl and he you went through. my embarrassment you weren't talking. embarrassing. i'm surprised paul abdul hasn't coming. out of the woodwork and try to sue me. because of my dad's actions. i will never forget never forget. my dad once he got comfortable paul. abdul's sitting on his lap. and he turns around and he's gone he's. looking at me he's like. can you handle this yeah yeah yeah i'm. gonna. she's like i love him because you want. to play puppy the one dad. no no not the puppy.

and what is it and she's like what's the. puppy i'm like no no please not cool. you gotta remember he's 80 something. years old he's like no i want to hear it. because that's when i sniff your ass and. you just growl. [Music]. so just to let you know yeah he was a. wild guy he's waves in the jungle for. three years. yeah i'd smell anybody's ass if i'm in a. jungle for [ __ ] three years dude. breaks down for an hour i'll [ __ ]. smell it you just growl.

that's old school i used to have cocaine. to do that but the military i think was. cocaine just into a lot of people's. systems it was just this. you know when they went through some. real wars it just made whatever like. let's just do whatever. you know my dad would always say world. war ii i said what was because. he would not talk about whatsoever and. whenever i really pride him he'd go. thank god for the hillbillies. like why because they knew how to make. alcohol. anything they make i don't know anything. i give them a foot they know how to make.

alcohol at. yeah really and you just don't even. think about things like that. like someone one of these rednecks knows. how to make booze. yeah hey give me four leaves on a. coconut we're gonna be hammered on. thursday. we're gonna get through this um. so i let them go all right. and so you really had almost like a like. i'm letting it speed up i'm letting you. go. holy spirit got held on to too long yeah. okay and so. now i'm testing myself i'm looking at.

old people because if i saw someone. in a wheelchair i'd start sobbing yeah. if i saw if i saw. old people so now i'm purposely looking. for old people and i'm okay. now i'm starting to to laugh. and it's it's working so we go home. and we're unpacking the car and my. swear to god dude i'm i have nothing to. sell here. i'm just telling you what happened we go. in the house. and my father-in-law goes.

hey uh you know the kitty lit is done. feather cassie is but that. the bird's gone everyone knew the bird. the bird's gone. gulemi's gone ah middle week he just. stopped coming around. and i i. sat down like this and i started. laughing because what so fine went. you don't understand. i let my dad go you don't think that's.

weird. that this bird every day. is showed up when i asked and he goes oh. for christ's sake and my greats. jesus christ jimmy the hell is wrong. with you you mean my daughter's getting. into you stop with that. [ __ ] no god no cheese we just die and a. bird comes and go you have nothing to do. with your father. but that's the power of. it's it's perception it's uh right it's. not to be debated that's.

my that's why i think a lot of people. start losing. you're like oh it's supposed to be even. my wife will go well it's not. hey don't don't i don't care what it. says here i mean i care and all that but. i'm just telling you what i did and this. happened that's my own thought my own. feeling yeah the magic sometimes it's. it's easier for people to kill the magic. man. it's easy for all the the words and the. literature and all the extra information. i got a story is we talking this guy um. what am i too long man.

you're good man i'll tell you a story. jim so i'm down in orange county and. they used to have a church there and. they ended up. stealing a lot of people's money and. whatever but before that yeah but before. that that's. crazy dude i knew in the [ __ ] when. the guy came out in like. six robes on a [ __ ] like golden thing. and bro i remember i went to their. church service once. they had real camels. uh real you know they had real. like illegal aliens they had real slaves.

at the manger like this i'm like this is. a lot you know what i'm saying like they. had to we're gonna. crush it this christmas eve hard. and we're gonna charge admission oh they. did and we're going to open up do you. know how hard it was to get these camels. dude one of the camels defecated on the. steps bro and people had to go up and. down it the whole night to get on the. stage. so anyway they busted this church but. one night one day i'm over there. i swear to god i'm trying to be quiet. crystal cathedral bring it up will you. well this is why sean shawn's almost.

fine the reason why i'm laughing is my. wife goes to church. and he did the same thing three years. ago i think cam. and this church is small oh it's not a. big church bad idea and this thing. dropped the deuce right under the camel. it's sheep. yeah you can't camel a small church. here's crystal cathedral right here and. this is in. uh orange california and the the walls. would open that's big. oh this thing was huge and so yeah so in. the back there that's all glass and then. on the right if you know go back to that. picture if you don't mind sean. nope right there if we can zoom in on.

that or get it bigger. yeah so on the right there where it's. kind of open that's actually the wall. opens. up and uh wow yeah the walls open like. that it's just the way it's built i mean. it was a nice. homeless people that's the man right. there robert oh yeah he's famous. bobby schuller yeah and his daughter i. think might have been a lesbian but. beautiful brian really talented i. thought. but um anyway so i'm sitting there. there's this lady sitting next to me. the the doors open up a butterfly comes. in.

right comes in lands on this woman's. cheek she's probably about 85 maybe. lands on her cheek. thick makeup right can't move you know. and i'm sitting right next to her and. i've already been kind of just chatting. with her you know it's church you know. it's really. right you should yeah you say hey or. especially you see an older person. you look fantastic yeah oh you look. great yeah oh you're only 85 you know. wow you look silly you look 79 you look. 78. so pleased i met you yeah yeah yeah like. that yeah. oh wow you have soft hands you oh you. seem like you're gonna die soon things. like that you know.

just things that go through your head. you got a good three months yeah yeah. it's going to be a good three yeah. you're gonna do fine she goes. i said oh ma'am i said there's a. butterfly on your cheek you know. and she goes oh that's my son he died in. a car accident. uh six years ago uh today. and every year today he comes. and visits me at church and i was like. it blew on bro i'm not even i gotta go. look at my phone i took pictures. me sitting there like this like and i.

would just it blew my mind like she was. not concerned and it stayed there the. whole service and then. jetted out you know and i don't think. that that's like. elon musk you know doing early trial. [ __ ]. i believe that that's something i do too. it's just a piece of energy that was. just wanted to spend time with her. listen there there is energy i i think. about this sometimes like. you mean if we have a chemistry we're. talking there's an energy there. this is an energy yeah where's the. energy come from does it come from. somewhere higher is it do we create it.

no one knows science can't create all. that stuff. you know here's a here's um i remember. you talking about seeing the long term. something that just taught me the long. term. i have a um you know my mom's side of. the family. it's four different men and we don't. know who the one. my one sister's dad ever was and your. mom she dated her she dated me a lot of. men yeah she started my parents are. different my dad. zero i mean he would tell me he's like. wow. we used to have a lot of turtle soup and.

possum pie. and i thought he was kidding and i. realized he wasn't. yeah wow when i see all the brewers. together they're like remember paul. would make you go along the tracks jim. and if you didn't come with the right. amount of buckets now he's. five granted and he just whooped your. ass we felt so bad. you didn't get bread that night and i'm. like. what come on that didn't real now she. meet now he. he ends up with my mom who grew up in.

greenwich village oh. fancy big fancy but then her world came. crashing down she lost her dad she lost. her husband while she had a kid and. today and her mom kicked her out. she must have so she spiraled out of. control. abusive horrible relationships like my. st. my step my step family side. horrifying just horrifying. where i came along like i my life kicks. ass. yeah um and so it did.

it freaking kicked i didn't know any of. that we were blue collar but. we still was just amazing um. so damn where's that going with this man. see what happens are you starting. i started talking about that lady landed. the butterfly landing on the ladies. cheek at the thing. yeah and then you oh oh i know what's. gonna say. so the long term we were talking about. before because you don't know the long. plans or the grace in life. this is another crazy story let's do it.

so my nephew. when nephew had a tough run mm-hmm the. black mixed or what was he. uh no dad dad left he was a heroin. addict. um and my sister my sister got arrested. she died uh 59 couple. same year my dad died um but she was a. great soul but. never got over the trauma so she was. your father. of just her life of her life of what her. dad did to her.

so this is she was on the freight train. you know. whatever she was she's just trying to. kill the pain. but her kids her one son i went he's. gonna either be. dead or he's gonna be in prison. and she'd always say like jimbo he looks. up to you like a. but i i was i was 10 years old and him. like i can't. and and when i went after my dream we. lived in florida. i was petrified to leave him because his. nephew yeah.

because i knew i was 22 he was 12 and. what's his name ronnie or something. steve oh steve o's yeah good and i went. he's you saw it coming cops started. coming. uh you know this one like he's broken. some places spray painted up. nelly angry yeah exactly oh yeah i feel. you bro. yeah the pants are down he's he's going. there. he's going there sure enough um.

off to the off to the off to camp yeah. the bad camp the saint the saint local. state oh wow so he'd write me while i. was on snl. and i was shocked he was still alive and. i'd send him a little stuff of hope. time for him to get out now i'm in in. new jersey got a beautiful home my. wife's pregnant two kids. and we start going he's he can't go back. home he. he's gonna go right back in he's gonna. get worse at home he can't go back to.

his environment so he's gotta come here. he's gotta come he's only a chance to do. it so we bring him here and you're. talking about a movie. yeah so he comes i'll never forget the. first thing he does or he gets. i sent a car to pick him up oh bad news. i said a car to figure out a car picks. he gets out of the car he's got a wife. beater. he's six foot four i saw him a little. pudgy teenager wow. and he's inked on one side of his body. gets out of the car. and he squats he's like what's up uncle.

jim. and he lights a cigarette and he's. squatting on the curb like that. and my wife and i looked inside ah maybe. this is a bad decision. so long story short it becomes the. greatest story. of our lives it it it was a lot of. a lot of trial and error a lot of. problems a lot of time. but we we realized we had a lot of work. to do with him. was it hard to love him was it hard to.

love him through all the mistakes and. stuff. no for us it was easy because all i did. was i kept reminding like listen to me. you don't understand nobody want like i. had such backlash you can't do this you. have kids. and and rightfully so i didn't tell. anyone in the neighborhood i just told. my family and they were. full-blown you can't do this yeah not. now. i said do you understand he's going to. be dead you know what it's not your. problem. yeah you got everything going for you. that's mom's problem yeah. and my wife and i are like i don't know.

man. so we had him there and the thing that. broke him was. so i'd say like listen you don't. understand. all i get out of this is that you become. a good person. and you're able to do your own thing i. go if. if once i'm gone you're screwed. you need to learn just just basic life. and that was through some things he was. going through still hanging out with a.

yo-yo. and he started getting he got pulled. over and he was like oh he caught me. like oh my god. of course they caught you because your. hat's backwards getting high. through an area that nobody under a. million dollars lives. and the cops got nothing to do like look. at this some [ __ ] with pinning windows. you don't live here dude you want to. step out of the car. it happened to me when i first met the. same it happens to everybody. of course so that's why. the kids broke them i'll never forget.

this oh that's cute there's like a movie. man. and i always said i'd write it but i'm. like all right i would be a good movie. it would be. he's sitting at the kitchen table and. you got to see him he's redneck as hell. funny as you funny no we'll only. vacation with uncle stevo and his wife. and children now. that we don't want to vacation whenever. we have he we. lo they were so much love he's sitting. there one day. this big tub he starts crying at the. kitchen table. like what's what's magic i never had.

this i had what. goose what omelets. you never had an omelet let me tell you. something i'm just checking no no but. the fact you say that he. after three weeks like i want to make. you a meal swear to god. he made a prison meal he said i need sh. he ne. he said they need cheese cheese dip. cheese snips. yeah yeah cheese nips the square cheese. yes yeah he needed them yeah he needed. cheese doodles. uh noodles and he would explain he's.

like this was like. it would take months to get these. products this is a wedding cake. this was huge in the penitentiary. and it was we three bites one. but i just you know we're looking each. other like let him live this this is. this is a big. it's like the cat bringing a dead animal. this is for you. oh thank you i love how you just spread. the guts out. that was very kind to you meow to you. too.

love you too thank you so he. and and he goes just this and he started. crying. and then the oldest daughter was five at. the time. and she she's like we love you uncle st. and the kids. melted him so life goes on he becomes an. amazing human being. gets married meets an amazing woman. have a child life is great suburbs blah. blah blah. now recently uh his father died.

and whenever something goes on his. wife's like you got to come. he's going through something you got to. talk to him because i was the closest. thing i. i see him as like a brother he sees me. differently but it's 10 years. whatever so i go over the house his. father died now he didn't have a. relationship with his father. his father tried to come back but he was. too jesus. he didn't want to hang out have coffee. he was like you got to find jesus you. say stop doing that to me. just if you want to be dad be dad don't. i don't want stop putting this in my.

face. you show me the cards i lose card. doesn't ask about my daughter. doesn't invest in my life it's just do. you find jesus i dude. i can't i can't and he and he kept. getting hurt going back and blah blah. so he had bad feelings because it ended. he didn't have closure his father died. during coven he had hepatitis c but. so i'm going over there dude i pull over. and i go we. what do you want me to say to him i got.

i got to say something. because this kid's gonna be in turmoil. and you're just asking god yeah i said i. i said what do you want me to say to a. dude. it went boom i went holy crap i have a. relationship where i laugh i go. pro you are dude. i think i found god i would talk to you. a pretty good bit i think i'm like man. this is a cool holy crap i didn't see. that. so i go in there and i go listen. i know how you feel and we did small. talking i know how you feel about your.

dad. all right we don't know let me expl. let me back up and tell you a quick. story so i tell him the story i'm about. to tell you. i go years ago when i was a little boy i. was about 10 years old. dad brought me to go see mom and dad we. go see johnny cash. get to see him a couple times we go to. ohio. um to visit this couple. and um there's this guy i met. and he said can i hang out with him for. the day i want to teach him how to.

how to fish and blah blah and shoot a. gun. and my parents were cool i never shot a. gun i was scared to death. dad killed a bird he set up a can shot a. bird. and this is a stranger man you didn't. know what we're gonna get to that okay. and so he then took me fishing we were. driving i'll never forget he's playing. the stones he looks at me. he goes you like this i went yeah who is. this because it's satisfaction. it's is stones yeah i would i don't know. he's like you don't know. he couldn't comprehend i didn't know the.

wrong stuff that happened to me at 19 i. didn't know him. wow but besides my kids my kids don't. know. good fellas like so. long story short we come home the day. before we go like can i show. can i show jimbo this album and he. he goes it's a comedy album stand-up. comedian this guy named steve martin. and he he he shows me the album and. steve martin let's get small. and he's got a fake you know the fake. nose and glasses and a balloon wrapped. around his head.

so i'm instantly attracted because i'm. in 10th grade this is doofy. he puts it on and i was blown out of my. mind. that a guy could could just. he's telling jokes and he and he made a. record and he's in front of people. i never saw this before i saw lauren. hardy and i started laughing i saw these. tv shows but i never saw this this i saw. like people doing characters. and i'm listening i was blown at him and. i listened to it non-stop.

i still know the album from beginning to. end steve martin let's get small. ramblin man remember ramblin i do the. whole album. changed my life it made me go into. comedy and go. get more into it and richard pyre and. then don rickles and george carlin and. boom i was off to the races. i go and that led to the life that i've. that led me to my journey right right. yes. and that journey there was a little seed. led me.

to having a house and taking you in. having the opportunity to take you in i. never saw that guy much. after that i go but how great now look. at where your life is at. because i was able to give that to you. your daughter. and your wife i go that guy was your. father. i go so before you go i hated the rest. of life we don't know what the plan was. if he didn't do that for me and i hated. him for leaving my sister.

but look at where we're at now wow but. that's. you have to be able to see that so that. was your sister's father. that was my sister's husband oh this was. stevo's father wow. so if he if that guy didn't give you. that album then maybe you don't end up. on the track you're on. absolutely not man that's powerful man. that's a heroin addict that's what he. was the dad was apparently he left he. was a heroin addict he's a drug addict. he might have had some mob ties because. my sister loved talking about that. well it's funny it's interesting about.

laughter man it's like sometimes. somebody even if they can't maybe make. you laugh themselves or whatever they. want to just share something with you. that maybe. that makes them feel good you know it. happened to me with jerry clower a man. my best friend his dad this is in. mississippi they lived in. and he said to me one day said man you. have to listen to this and he put it on. in the car and it was got jerry clower. from. yazoo city mississippi and he's uh he. was a famous comedian for a long time. yeah. and he ended up doing it being a. preacher at the end of his life and then. he passed away. but he told these stories and i just had.

never. you know he he said he always said he. didn't do jokes he said i it's stories. made. funny or i tell stories funny that's. what he said i tell stories funny that's. right but man he was but if ever since. he's dead gave me that i would have. never. yeah right nothing never my mind that. was the game changer and and. it didn't even change my life then i. mean it helped then me get into comedy. but i didn't come back to jerry clower. till about maybe four years ago. and that even changed my comedy. perception and career. and the way i perform and the way that i.

want to reach people and. yeah man it's wild right it's a wild. ride it's. interesting how one little thing can. yeah it's about how do you what where do. those seeds how do you find that seed. a lot of times somebody needs to show it. to you by hand too whatever it is like. advertisements help and the computer. helps and that sort of thing but. if you can lead somebody like you take. somebody to a hockey game then you were. like holy [ __ ] now i love hockey you. know like that's what happened to me. somebody has to take you somebody yes.

you almost need a. a sherpa you need that you need that. yeah that little push whatever and i. would see that. be on the road and and i remember the. first. time going the road was a loose spooky. little exciting. but i was young and i remember just. little. moments where you think it's something. or you might. and i just remember you know i i my. first road gig was cincinnati ohio and. who'd you open for do you remember. or was this when you were headlining no.

i was the opener it was ray combs. club in cincinnati and. all i remember is i was so excited. because the headliner just won. star search yes wow the hundred thousand. dollars he won. oh my god was his name that was the show. though wasn't it at a certain point. uh it was but yeah i don't even know. why i brought him up but i'll tell you. the story so the. so i met you once before and this was in.

so i was on a show called road rules. right it was like a reality television. show do you remember a show like kind of. remember that people playing games and. stuff and they used to have a show. called real worlds and. people was mtv it was mtv yeah so i. remember road rules. this is 19 this is 2002. wow so this is in my half-baked touring. bus full-blown yeah i mean yeah it was. hardcore fat i was fat i don't i you.

know what i. actually now that you say you had a. perfect look of a stoner like you really. had a perfect center look oh but here's. what happens so i'm waiting outside i'm. in florida i'm waiting outside. for my girlfriend she's coming she's. flying in to visit me right we have a. couple day break and we're in fort. lauderdale. and they put us up at a decent hotel and. we're excited and i'm. 22 or something on him i'm gonna be on. him i'm doing fine you know i'm excited. i'm. also a weirdo but i'm i'm cool i'm. waiting outside for my girlfriend. and you come walking up right it's not. it's midnight she got in on the last.

flight on southwest. and where is this this is in fort. lauderdale but where. at a hotel hotel i remember okay and it. had one of those elevators inside where. it was like you could. you could see out of the elevator when. you're going up so you can see the lobby. and stuff you know really okay. really cool all right so you come. walking up and i'm like holy [ __ ] you're. jim brewer. and you're like yeah man and uh i was. he's like what's going on i was like oh. nothing i'm here i'm working on this. mtv show it's called road rules you're.

like oh i know that show it's like. you're like what are you guys doing just. running around hitting elephants in the. nuts. right that's what you said which is so. great that is something i used to say. all the did you really know why yes well. here's the crazy part. then in sandals you proceeded to act out. hitting an elephant yes you would jump. up and act like you were hitting. elephant nuts. dude and nobody else was around so there. was nobody that could believe this. and you didn't have camera phones and so.

i'm like um would you wait for my. girlfriend you want to come upstairs and. smoke man and i was like. holy [ __ ] dude i just got invited to go. smoking. but if if she if she would have got. there our relationship wasn't if i was. high. it would have been i would have been a. mess that. i think i remember because i remember. acting out the whole doing elephant. noise. bro you did it like six or seven times. and it was just. the first time it was good yes and try. to reach and hit it yeah. and in sandals it was just like how is.

this guy even trying this. bro and it was so crazy to me this is. before i was a comedian or even got into. comedy and that's why i love once i was. out of it i love. i did that was the me i loved everyone i. was surprised. i felt suppressed of those years. of just not trusting anyone everyone was. out to get you in the bat everyone was. talking behind your back everyone's. trying to get your fight i was. it was it was hard it was the worst well. do you feel like you're a trusting. person.

me yeah very probably too much right. that's just trust everyone right out of. the bat. right right out of the gate because. there's no reason not to. um but i i literally go off the energy. and i really look into the eyes and if i. feel you're just. slightly off like that i know. right just not today yeah not today bro. dude i trust you. how long i've been on here i don't know. maybe two hours and i went deep i went i. went far. yeah i was up to here wow i'm going here.

huh. this is heavy. we're hitting elephant nuts yeah this is. so crazy man it just that was such a. moment. and it's so funny i didn't know uh like. i didn't know that you know. we'd be sitting here now but yeah that. was such a like it was just so crazy you. were so. funny man wasn't it such a fun thing. being funny when you were young. were you funny when you were young like.

were you funny in high school with your. buddies and stuff. i was dude that was the f to me there's. no other like. you can do specials and like do theaters. and do like. but man being funny with your [ __ ]. buddies in a group. when nobody will ever be able to. replicate the moment and you're just. like sewing this [ __ ] tapestry that's. just retarding you don't even know you. have needles in your hands. and you're just oh god i love that. greatest. high and gift of life yeah and i i i.

high school was the best dude we had so. in our high school we had the first. black kid that ever wanted to be white. right wig because they ended up using. term wiggles but. they'd never seen it before in our area. right they'd never so they thought he. was mentally handicapped right this kid. brian st. pierre so they put him in the learning. disabled classes right and he just had. like a starter jacket and was like a. larry johnson fan. right like he just listened to like you. know bell biv devo he was just the first. white kid that wanted to be black. they'd just never seen he was like that.

was rappaport i remember that. we had one that was doing breakdancing. everybody had one right and they didn't. know. but in our town that was a learning. disability i guess. my tattoos so they put him in there they. put him in the. learning disabled classes you had kids. in wheelchairs kids with down syndrome. kids with. you know like you know kids at home he's. doing this come on girl you understand. he's doing that. we had like but i remember just i. remember being in middle school.

and it was so much fun bro junior high. and [ __ ]. those those times they i think they prep. you for the rest of your life to. laugh that hard to the camaraderie. yes the lifting each other up no matter. how bad it got. we'd you break one another breaking. each other to the point where you let. your guard down i. still live for that i live. to hang out uh close doors yeah.

laugh our ass we go as far and wide as. we want as. funny as we want as dark as we. want there's just no judging there's. nothing better than. full-blown trust in those moments yeah. ah do you want who made you laugh who's. one that's really gotten you over the. years that really makes you laugh. comedian yeah or has in the day we. talked about rob schneider a little bit. oh yeah he's so talented at going in he. told his mother just passed when he was. going. into all these stories about her life.

but then while he's telling him he. starts. acting out some of the characters and it. wasn't like a bit he was doing he was. just talking. about yeah he's talking oh man some of. it was so good. he you know it's really weird i. i was on a radio i would do radio years. ago. and i always rob was always one of my. favorites. and um he. came on the radio and i. he didn't want to be there he was in a.

bad mood yeah. and happened it was a long time ago and. so i always thought from that moment. like oh man you don't like me. yeah you don't like me. and so there's still times when i feel. like going. because i l i follow him yeah i like. what he says. yeah me too i like i like what he puts. out there yeah. and there's so many times i feel like. going hey man i don't love you. you know i i really think you're cool i. mean i don't know if you don't like me i.

don't know why you don't like me. do you think that we take things i take. things if somebody doesn't give me a. certain vibe. i i it then lands on me that they don't. like me but me too. i think it's very pretty that is yeah. why do you think that is cause you know. you know you know what that they don't. you mean yeah or they just. it's it's a uh but they don't it's. they're not thinking of it that far. we're. yeah you're right that far you're right. or maybe it's just like you're below. them like i took it as. it was so long ago this is right i'm. just thinking i guess generally like.

when i. i notice that a lot for myself if. something happens even in a moment. it might mean nothing to them yeah this. thing with rob with me had to be 14. 15 years ago yeah and he's probably. seven and he's probably doing morning. radio and doesn't want to do it he was. natalie yeah and then susan's over i'm. like is this his 40th. freaking interview you had him doing. non-stop he's done. he's done he's tired of saying the same. thing and uh it was. we take things personally though that's. what's interesting i was like oh man. i don't this whole plan like we're gonna. be hanging out. we're gonna be hanging out i'm gonna be.

in a hot air balloon we're gonna. we're gonna have you ever been in africa. yeah dude you're gonna go to safari it's. pretty cool. yeah we're gonna go to the one of those. massage parlors one of the real good. ones if you have these ones where they. blow dart you in the neck right when you. go. in there's nothing better yeah you wake. up in [ __ ] time. you try to fight passing out you know. it's coming you see the other guys kind. of like no. no he makes he merely makes me laugh. spade makes me laugh mcdonald makes me. laugh i know everybody you. you norm makes me laugh dude.

hold on i'll do that thing about norm so. he did this thing one time. he gets up he goes from one room into. another room right he stops at the. doorway and he's like. what is this what is like a. what is this he's like banging on the. door like just the doorway he's like. what is like a portal to like another. what is this and his ass he's literally. asking the people in the room right. what do what what do you call this thing.

it's like a like a portal to. whatever how do you just go through. where am i and he was just talking about. a doorway but it was. so he makes anything funny yeah i. remember. it was me him he came it was. i think he was doing a show with spade. in irvine and uh i went to go watch. and he came we went we went like by the. dumpster afterwards. and it was me him i wonder what you're.

talking about outside yeah that little. outside area where you park. yes yeah and i don't know if it was. there was one other person i don't. remember who's there so. he's saying are you stoned oh and not. man i stopped because what. jesus christ [ __ ] guy from heaven. can't [ __ ] his dumb again hi. [ __ ] you dino he was so angry till i. didn't want to get high. he was so pissed he was genuinely pissed. the [ __ ] is that who's the [ __ ].

brewery [ __ ] hey. jesus christ the [ __ ] his words are. you sure you again. jesus christ bro what the [ __ ] he was so. you judge me now and. no no i just i. stopped for a while man that's awesome i. did everything. i smoked as much as i could i beat the. [ __ ] out of marijuana. yeah it's hard yeah i think you won one. hit. i was crushing it i'm meeting i'm. meeting vaughn years before. talking about punching elephants in the.

nuts been there done that. i did it yeah dude he uh. one time i had to open up for him and. this is at a casino we're doing like a. casino gig. in shawnee oklahoma and. cherokee creek casino i think and it. could have i don't know this cool lady. that i think maybe tried to make love to. somebody but. she also helped us get the gig and um. norm was [ __ ] up i think that when he. went on he went on after me like i don't. think he. i don't even think for the first seven. minutes i don't even think he said.

anything right but the crazy part was. the next day um we were at. there was like a we had to play cards. too the next day you'd like be there for. the weekend. you know so we go to the card tables and. norm's like man there's a lot of. a lot of good [ __ ] in here and i don't. know him really well so i'm thinking i'm. looking around this room bro there is. zero attractive women right they're zero. attractive men okay. so it's not even if you wanted something. it's a scene there's nothing yeah it's a.

casino and it's a it's a. gambling game it's poker yeah five card. poker you know so. and i'm just thinking well i guess i. just agree with him you know he's. getting older and you know maybe he has. a different perception of what's. attractive. i'm like yeah man they're sure he goes. [ __ ] no there isn't like he had played. me you know like. he's like this is the ugliest batch of. people i've ever seen. i was just talking about him the other. night now i was there. for one of the greatest norm moments in. comedy history. i think he he was kinked he was kicked.

out of nebraska. that sounds realistic um and i you can. maybe look it up later. versus norman mcdonald was kicked out of. the state by the governor. and he went on he went on letterman. to talk about it uh and i want to say it. was like 1996. because i just finished my first year. snl was 95 so it was the summer of 96. and i remember going on tour there you. go you saw it go down.

yeah kicked out of iowa that's me. talking about it okay. uh but anyway should we look on a video. or should we no no don't look at that i. want to see the. real there has to be a headline how nor. mcdonald got kicked out of iowa. yes okay gazette there you go. okay all right so. many were disgusted some were delighted. so he's supposed to know you understand. something okay. he his first time me touring with a star.

okay we go to the airport and people. like oh my god you're norm mcdonald. wow this is everywhere we went oh my god. you're nor mcdonald. we show up at the university he's like. yeah i gotta go. golfing with the [ __ ] governor they. made me a [ __ ]. golf [ __ ] governor yeah. he's with a governor this is huge. who gets to say that so i'm. i'm it's me daryl hammond and him and.

you you. all both you guys went we're all we're. on the gig. okay okay we're going out he's telling. us yes. and so uh we get to the gig. and is packed. and they go now listen there's kids here. and there's students and alum. and the dean and all these people here. so that's the worst. they're like yeah clean i get it no. worries i go we're in sunny lake i guess. that's why we got you guys because. you're used to live tv pull up.

so daryl goes up first does his 20. minutes. does impressions does his comedy. hilarious i go up. do my 20 feel great crush it. norm goes up i'm not even exaggerating. the first thing he says he goes out he. goes. look i'm preparing i'm like this is. going to launch my crew are you kidding. me. this is going to be huge i'm going to be. off he goes.

[ __ ] where the [ __ ] at me the first. person even curse. all right oh [ __ ] he cursed he goes so. if you're gay would you rather be the. ass guy. or the dick guy. this is what he starts off with so. i go i go daryl you got to come see this. and he's going. and he won't stop he's there because if. you're depressed maybe you're the. ass guy why do you want to be there.

he's going off people are grabbing their. kids running up the aisle they're i mean. i never saw a place clear out like a. fire alarm was going off. but the college students were staying. and they were. howling with laughter and he. one thing and then in the middle after. about 15 minutes he goes. jesus christ what are you [ __ ]. airplane jokes. he went [ __ ] 7-11 joe said jesus.

christ. [ __ ] out of here so the next day. in the paper usa today or the cassette. like norma mcdonald's out wow governor. wants him. out of this state governor get out of my. state but to witness that. was i i have so many norm moments in my. life. my my first press conference with norm. was.

they prepped us into like you know is he. gonna speak and. it's just some it's live bbc. and he's a bigger star than you so you. have to sit there and kind of pay you. have to be. it was him and spade right next to him. you have to be second fiddle at the. moment or were you. yeah man i just got i'm i'm i'm the new. kid on the block we're all a new cast. it's all new cast except for spade tim. meadows. and north macdonald wow and we're like. whoa and even looking at norman spade i. was like. oh these guys are star like this is huge. yeah. i'm really looking off to them and uh.

the press conference go and i dropped. the ball right out of the bat right out. of the bat. um they asked me the lor the head of nbc. who fought for me to be there. goes uh jim what was it like growing up. watching snl and now you're here you're. from new york and now a fellow new. yorker. i said i didn't watch snl growing up. well you can hear i was like oh. i saw i went oh that was. spade went so he said.

and i knew right away like oh man that. was really bad. that was bad and so he goes like well i. i i wasn't allowed to because i was. young and he goes. what about when you were oh he's trying. to prep me he goes surely when you got. older and and you were allowed to watch. it. and i went i was out on saturdays i. wasn't watching tv. and and norm's like. you're gonna like you you're gonna like. you yeah this guy is that guy.

and he's smoking he's smoking. and marcy klein he's just going no put. out the cigarette. i'm not done this guy's gonna get fired. so i think i'm gonna get fired because i. saw lauren michael's face he was pissed. so you sitting there super nervous at. this point do i swear in my life in my. kid's lives i thought i was gonna get. fired. because i just basically said i don't. watch sunday live yeah and i never did. and yeah which is not not a good answer. the message.

in front of the press yeah and i didn't. say it in a mean manner. but i could just tell the boss man was. like. uh so oh jesus lord so now i'm sitting. there thinking i'm gonna get fired. swear to god and i'm just like oh my god. even get i don't even make it the first. episode i'm gonna let me go this is. what's going on my head. the has there has to be a video this. press conference. in the black market somewhere i i've. looked for it never found it. it's the 1995 press conference and.

and so they asked norm they go norm. you tim meadows david spade. you've been here you you know the frat. house everyone knows. snl is a frat house what kind of what. kind of practical jokes you got lined up. for these new cast members. and i swear to you i went. i'm not even going to be part of the the. frat house or the practical jokes.

and norm goes. he first always annoyed he goes. practical. is that what you jokes what kind of. practicum is just uh. first we were thinking about anal rape. you know like hey hey. yeah take your going to italy rape you. welcome to standing line we're going oh. [ __ ]. he's going to get fired too you can't.

say you know rape you're from the. president. he said anal rape just suddenly you're. like i'm back in it i'm in it. i'm good i'm good and i went up to him. after i went nori's like dana again you. know he has a [ __ ] bro. in fact you know he's [ __ ] these guys. and i realized he would pitch at the. pitch meeting he just didn't care. he didn't care and i learned so much. from him. just clearly he saw a lot and he's been. there forever like he would.

i remember he gave he got he gathered. the new cast up he's a geek guy sporting. god. yeah don't write me any of your gay. [Laughter]. [Music]. sketches. but don't put me in your gay little.

sketches. i swear to god man i also traumatized. him we were. we would play football in the hallway. because he was very competitive. he's always betting it was a very tiny. hallway maybe as wide as this. maybe and uh he's like come on baby. thank you i'm playing. three in the morning oh [ __ ] it come on. [ __ ] playing football meet you colin. quinn. and [ __ ] uh justin justin you [ __ ].

[ __ ] the phone calls no one's calling. three in the morning. get in the [ __ ] ball let's go so he. would cheat would piss me off because. i'm competitive. and i'll never forget he keeps cheating. and cheating and. now i'm pissed how's he cheating it's. like a hallway it's like a hospital. hallway wait but he [ __ ] cheat he's a. cheater. yeah right so oh yeah he has a cheater i. had. boots on so i had i had work boots on. yeah yeah because yeah you use those to. write in yeah so is he running [ __ ]. work boots on stone. oh the ink's heavy yeah yeah yeah so now.

he he he cheat. i caught the ball and then he he grabbed. it. and pulled it from me he's like hey. fumbled and he starts running the other. way i'll never forget i. [ __ ] kicked him as he's running in. his. in his calf on pow. and he goes. jesus christ bro why did you [ __ ]. kick me in my [ __ ] calf.

that's because you're cheating so you. [ __ ] kick me. ah jesus christ and all he did. all week he like [ __ ] really [ __ ]. kick me in my calf. because i took the [ __ ] ball jesus. christ bro. and spade just in the distance like hey. yeah so those in a moment. i absolutely i i loved more that stuff.

you know all of it was worth it all of. it was worth it one needy but it was all. worth it. god so damn i'm exhausted yeah we'll. finish up man. i could talk for hours we'll chat we'll. chat another another night. i'm coming to the show tonight i'm gonna. come watch which one. not sure which one's better you think. probably. well the second one i'll prob i'm looser. and i'll go.

longer the first one i'll come second. one though because um. yeah time restraint i'm yeah yeah it's. still early. and a lot of my bits are long. so i i constantly go okay so i'm. 40 minutes in uh. should i do this one or that so it's i. think a little bit more in the first. shows. where lesson excuse me last night is not. thinking. second shows it's no thinking just like.

yeah. if i feel like going this way i go this. way that way that way. did it change is his comedy changed for. you in different times like were there. times where you got to like uh. okay this was my set and then you. started to change at a per as a person. because this one thing i'm noticing for. myself like. sometimes i'm trying to maybe still be a. person that. did a set from previous in my life but. i'm. i'm being i'm different as a human yeah. and it's scary. to think will i still be able to be. funny as this person that's growing and.

getting different. than i was as this person who was it's. scary but you will be. you've you've long passed that part yeah. you've learned to grow. you've learned to grow as a person you. you've learned to grow as an. entertainer you learn to grow. you learn you've you've created your. audience and you're following. and you will make them grow up with you. in every direction oh wow. and that's what i discovered my biggest. fear was.

i'm a family guy i'm getting really. exhausted trying to appeal. to something i'm not totally yeah and at. that time yeah i was kind of. stoner i was i loved the yeah man. life's good ha ha and it was great. but once i had kids i started moving. along like i'm not this guy. and i'm tired i i can't hold on to. pretend to be in this person for. so much longer and then as i grew it was. around 2008.

so i was just like listen i'm going on a. ride if you guys want to come along come. along but i'm never going to be. i can't be what i was 5 10 15 years ago. because i'm not. yeah i'm letting you no one is i'm. letting you go huh i gotta let you go. i loved you for being there but we're. moving along am i i have to say. the audience grew to to a point where i. had. no and not only did they grow. you created everyone you want to be with. wow.

and that's what you're going to do and. that's what you do do wow that's. fascinating to hear that. yeah dorfman at um at the club says this. is the funniest that he's ever seen you. he said oh i feel because i just he said. that the other day. i'm really good in at life i'm really. good at. what what what today said that you know. we i saw him the other night. i stopped by to see schneiderlin oh so. he didn't even see me last night. no he hadn't seen you he just said from. the last time he just he just talked. about your career a little bit. and then yeah i got better yeah he was. telling me that too so he i said yeah.

because i i'm not trying anymore i. know i'm funny yeah i know i'm gonna. entertain you. i'm very comfortable going in certain. directions even if i go too heavy i know. i'm going to come back and smack you. with something else. yeah there's some material i'm doing now. that i'm. bored with and i want to do a lot. i'll come out and go i'm going to do the. first half hour just winging it. but then i'll see they're really stoked.

and i'll go ah yeah there's that thing. in your head. i don't want to i don't know if this is. the crowd to take the chance with i. don't want to waste. there like this and the last thing i. want to do is bring them here. and then bring them back and so yeah. it's a constant mind game but my my show. both every show is different cool. well i'll be out there tonight um and uh. thanks so much for hanging out bro my. god this was such a good time. i could have talked forever and ever i. appreciate you giving me that.

opportunity. and giving me that trust and and uh. this whole feeling it's good energy man. thanks man yeah it's exciting to hear. and just to learn and just. i think i look at other comedians and. yeah just even hearing that i'll be okay. and that this is a performance this is a. human. you know i think there's a level of that. that you know especially getting. involved in hollywood and this just all. the whole journey it's like. well i'll be okay as a human you know. you'll be fine you're you already are. yeah you're already there amen bro. thanks man. brother beast good now i'm just floating.

on the breeze and i feel i'm falling. like these leaves i must be. cornerstone. oh but when i reach that ground i'll. share this piece of mind i found i can. feel. [Music]. a little time. for me to set that parking brake and let.

myself. [Music]. i'll sit and tell you my stories. [Music]. [Music]. and now i've been moving way too fast on.

the runaway train with a heavy load of. my. hands. and these rails that i've been riding on. they want something.