Jay Mohr 2 | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #239
he'll be appearing at the Addison improv. this weekend in Addison Texas next. weekend at the Houston improv and the. week after at side splitters in Tampa. Florida. he is from countless movies. he's sports shows you know he's he's my. brother in a lot of struggles and uh and. he was our first guest and I'm happy to. have him back here ladies and gentlemen.
my friend mr. J Moore. [Music]. [Music]. you will be doing fine. you will always be doing fine yeah you. will always like when I just came in you.
were like I said it's a jungle there and. you're like there's some just it's just. dirty dogs yeah I'm like but we're. always gonna win because we're the. champion dogs yeah I was talking about. like I didn't tell you there's dirty. dogs out there but we're always gonna. beat them yeah because we're game yeah. dog fights are always I told you it's. gonna tell you this dog the perception. of dog fights in the United States is so. misconstrued because of Michael Vick. like shooting a dog and electrocuting. and thrown in the pool put it in a. [ __ ] headlock and put it all of that.
really oh yeah I didn't read all of that. yeah I read the first just defuse the. dogs and people the united states that. have dog fights they're not good to the. dogs but if you go to places where it's. legal like the Philippines or Brazil oh. yeah the champions the dog feeds a town. he's Muhammad Ali yeah so you can't. mistreat it like the dog is to cut. weight right it's got a fee eat the most. spectacular food it sleeps with its. handler if two pit bulls are fighting. and you go to break him up if you're not. it's gonna bite your hand unless yeah it. knows you and loves you so much it would.
never bite your hand so you can't. mistreat the dog it would bite you right. yeah so people think they fight to the. death they don't what happens in a dog. fight this is from Sam Sheridan's book a. fighter's heart they let the dogs go. they fight for a few seconds they pull. them apart they make the bets they let. the dogs go they fight for a few seconds. they pull them apart they bet this goes. on for three hours it's like a mating. dance almost keeps going yeah going like. five hours six hours until one dog. doesn't come out the other dog keeps.
coming out because he's game that's the. dog who wins the dog fight the one that. just keeps coming right you lose a dog. fight by going ready to go like as soon. as that dog pauses it's over so finally. one dog just like I'm chillin I'm done. I'm not so sure like he kind of and the. owners are like go go go go but it's. over so like it's called gameness Wow a. dog that's game is always gonna win. sometimes they'll die cuz they're. two-game they don't know they're losing. they just keep coming they just keep. coming. they just keep coming in a good.
handler will take his dog out because he. knows the dog will never stop but you. and I were game yeah. we have gameness that's all we know is. you just keep coming out it's gonna be. fine that's true ma'am you're gonna win. yeah I'm one with shoulders first a lot. of times I'm just going forward right. you know that's like y'all just keep. going right back into the fire people. are like do you have Vaseline all over. you do we're just in there now like I. gotta go back in there it's an illegal. substance game. yeah I think I left something in there. dude and uh yeah I can't believe that's.
a beautiful to thinking Philippine you. go there and they got a dog probably. sleeping on like a you know they sleep. with the owner Oh sleep with the handler. that's [ __ ] unfortunate that's sad but. I know why is that said I mean I just. think it's that dogs the whole cash cow. for a town yeah I guess you probably. want to keep it with you all night then. look when that they have to they they. make sure no one messes with it they. feed it like Kobe beef and a lien from. that yeah that's crazy dog food yeah. director prizefighters their actual.
prize fire yeah yeah yeah you wouldn't. [ __ ] just feed all evander holyfield. uh graham crackers you know it's a yeah. I got just some saltines real deal and. you want some potato salad and saltines. man saltines Britz crap would you say. what is a graham cracker I drag the. topping no it salty this is fun to watch. though because he has kind of darker.
complexion I'm seeing a Saltine going to. his mouth is more of a he's so thirsty. yeah it's more of yeah be more of a. unique look what's going on man good to. see you bro how's the wrestling going. how's coaching going it's my favorite. thing in my life. you look jacked Kanha I'm doing good I. wrestle every day do you I'm not gonna. tell you to do something I'm not doing. yeah cuz when I the way we were coached. doesn't work yeah like really yeah oh. yeah Oh in high school 84 to 88 and then. college for briefly 89 actually 88 still.
where'd you find indoors or outdoors. mostly was in the gym it's like you know. you just roll the wrestling mats out in. the gym and the wrestling room at. rockers oh yeah and it's like coaches go. my way or the highway you say that now. it's gonna be a real packed Highway. those kids who go really. you know they got their phones they got. their apps there I mean they're getting. laid Wow like we didn't have any life. when we were in high school I didn't oh. I know especially wrestling those kids. were just beaten the acne off of each. other it looked like and it's year-round. now too so it's like you're with these. kids for four years 12 months of the.
year 3 2 hours a day 3 hours a day then. you seem on weekends and a tournament. takes like 10 hours all day they'll get. sick EU really quick if you're like my. way or the highway. I because I just coach the way I wish I. was coached oh wow I just tried to. communicate with him tell him I love. that's cool man. but yeah I'm not gonna go like do this. draw they've had front headlock and I'd. rather just show them can they do what. are some of the new moves people are. doing out there like what's kind of like. the new is there some no there's no like. new moves it gets a little like we call. it funk and once while there's some funk.
like this new like thing where you do a. weird and it's just it all circles back. to the it's you know single leg double. leg front headlock spin behind get you. two points half-nelson one-on-one armbar. it's all you know cradle cradle cradle. it's all the same [ __ ] that's crazy and. a lot of strategy huh it's kind of like. high speed chess yeah and like the. sooner you can get thinking out of their. heads the better they'll be like you. want to sense like if I'm on bottom and.
the guys on top I can sense he's too. high and I can roll him but I'm not like. okay if he gets too hot right you can't. you death my thought he can't be out. there with like a um a yardstick I got. where the guy's if he gets too high on. his ride I shall roll him now is it. homoerotic out there for do you see a. lot of you is it like a lot of give any. transgender wrestlers or anything like. that with you know your girls in the. room now that's very popular I love it.
is it yeah I love it because they're. never gonna get assaulted in college oh. yeah that's true like you you got a 14. 15 year-old girl on the wrestling room. and you realize every day you're keeping. her like you're teaching her and keeping. her from being sexually assaulted yeah. some guy in college gonna be drunk and. try to put her on a mattress and she's. just gonna be like later but they put. the rear choke and innate yeah you're. making jokes all right he could be fully. naked and [ __ ] choke somebody out too. yeah you know I love it actually Theo. the most. is look I'm an addict I'm a everything's.
in addition to me like fishing I make. fishing in an addiction yeah I don't. know what one of anything is but part of. being an addict is I like to give with. conditions so if I send you like a. thank-you note I think I might have told. you this before a couple weeks go by I'm. like why didn't your anything from Theo. about the thank you know that I start. building a little resentment like what. deal we can't even thank me for send. them a nice note that's not what you. sent somebody something right so when. wrestling in the wrestling room coaching. it's the only time I'm selfless because. they can't give me anything back they.
can't give me anything back except. feeling good about themselves yeah wow. the only I found a room two hours a day. grime selfless and I get nothing from it. except a kid going wow like I am better. than I thought and it makes me cry like. it me I Drive home sometimes I'm with. tears in my eyes that's cool man good. for you dude good for you good for you. I'll get you there I'm just say you're. my Sonia yeah it's a tall trouble.
disabled I got like three kids in there. with mustaches it's a charter school I. got Mexicans I got kids coming from. South Central. I got Johnny Z got a mustache Cesar I. got a mustache little Anthony's got a. mustache a little Anthony always has a. Mustang little infinity any city you go. to a little honey has a mustache he. [ __ ] snuck into his [ __ ] stepdads. roof and cut part of his beard off he. used honey - [ __ ] him put it up above. his lip little Anthony's brand-new he's. like 105 pounds he's a freshman he talks.
like Luis Guzman he's like listen why do. I got wrestling shows popping listen. what he did five it was like where do I. get wrestling shows like cuz I'm. wrestling a Sox as other ladies and is. there any guys do they have any. finishing moves or they dance after. anything like that has he gotten to that. point yet with wrestling no it's really. just it's - you know you can't like. dance and [ __ ] like that it's just still. mono e mono underwater when you're done. you know you shake the other cats and. you shake the other coaches hand wow the.
only kid comes over and shakes your hand. you can wave to the coach or whatever. some kids are bent out of shape about it. but that's awesome. which all's team name the Panthers or. what is it the Dolphins yeah Wow really. Palisades yes. school chant like everywhere we go. people know who we are so we tell them. every day it makes me laugh. we are the Dolphins Marty Marty dolphins. I'm like really we can't change that the. pally wrestling yeah wrestling pally. pally wrestling my team dolphins not.
yeah a lot of dolphins and dolphin get. caught on e in a little net dolphins a. gay shark yeah. a shark is a straight you know it. dolphins just like hey blow dude if they. pull if a cop pulled a dolphin over dude. I bet it would have a bunch of [ __ ]. nuts inside of it once the man's nuts. you know wouldn't be shocked is what I'm. saying overall yeah man that's why you. know so uh so I'm so jealous in a way.
I'm so uh well that's awesome that you. found that thing that that you have that. place to be selfless man two years ago I. just did it two years ago. dolphins are dangerous animals I could. rape and kill your baby yeah if I put my. baby in the [ __ ] ocean yeah dude one. of these nitwits out there with that you. know trying to get the you know that. saltwater baby. trying to part its hair with a [ __ ]. water wave these people are out of their. minds man. but that's Palisades dude no no this is. soft patch up there is there are some. tough cats up there no we're tough yeah. we brought yeah I like that.
we brought we're brawlers okay we got a. room in brawlers yeah I want to come. cheer him on. I'll let you know I think we have one. home duel match this year yeah we. wrestled Birmingham high last year they. have a hundred kids it's in the valley. they got a hundred kids in the wrestling. room a hundred they have a B team before. junior varsity they have two different. varsity's a B team and then they have JV. a hundred kids in the wrestling room. that's more than the reason a football. team yeah and we lost my six point like. we brought it next year with freshmen.
and sophomores it's great oh we play. them this year be great is it crazy to. see like when you're looking back at. these children and a lot of because a. lot of children go through puberty at. that time you know yeah all of them do. it's got to be Chris yeah all children. do yeah well some graduates in the. onesie we have we are kids from our. school I don't think never hit it really. oh no these guys never hit a couple. young fella one dude works at the. CVS now having air where I used to live. but he [ __ ] is still swinging for it. bro. never hit it I don't know what that's.
called what's a coma you don't hit. puberty Nick that's her buddy her buddy. you know I ever swim with dolphins have. I probably I don't know I been in the. water on her I mean on purpose like you. go oh no is go to a dolphin encounter no. I did it once and I like it didn't go. well what happened I brought my mom to. the Bahamas oh do you don't bring your. mom to a dolphin encounter great old. saying she she had a we knew she had. Alzheimer's so I just took her before.
she was getting bad oh yeah tell her. it's Alaska huh yeah. climate change my I don't know yeah so. we go in the water and there's like this. 11 minute video they show you a safety. video but it's [ __ ] dolphin so I just. took a nap and then I'm in the water and. I'm like what could go wrong it's a. dolphin. I'll tell you so my mom they go Jeannie. Jeannie you get Dottie and like this. beautiful dolphin comes out like a. beaded curtain it's like price is right. like Dottie and my mom and this dolphin.
are like oh my god you're so precious. look like then with the high school. together like oh my god and then like. you get chipper like the [ __ ] bullpen. doors at Yankee Stadium open and they. play Enter Sandman by Metallica and. there's a wall of water coming at me and. he's just like coming at me I'm like I'm. gonna get cut in half by a dolphins head. I'm like he's just. I was scared it's like coming right at. me hits the brakes Wow rolls on his back. and he's floating on his back huh across.
me with a look on his face like you got. I'm all right man day so I'm like okay. cool but he's got only a little patch of. white he's great being a patch of white. like chest air mhm I'm just kind of like. they go you can touch him um I'm rubbing. his chest what's his body like soft or. what is it it's real soft that means. things like a kind of a real hard spongy. you know it's what you can't explain it. but it's exactly what you think would. feel like I don't know what that is. though like it would be hard hard hard. like a car it well yeah but there's some. give to it it's like soft gahard foam in.
a water park in the tubes oh yeah yeah. yeah so I'm at his chest and he's like. scooching by. and what it said in the video that I. slept through it was never ever under. any circumstances touch any of the. dolphins below their belly buttons but. he's going this way and I'm telling his. chest a little lower in his chest look. so I don't even realize it I'm like. jerking off Adolfo it's like a massage. parlor I'm like right it's like a. Westwood Boulevard like yeah like. nothing came out but he just goes and he. like flips out and he starts hitting me.
in the ribs with his head in my life. vest like dang damn like what's he doing. I know what he's doing it was it. powerful hitting or yes like it's like I. don't belong with this aquatic mammal. like I am a visitor. and stuff like bang I know what he's. doing now I know what he was doing when. he's trying to get me in the middle of. the lagoon where nobody could help me oh. wow. then he goes underwater disappears my. mom and daddy are playing like [ __ ]. mahjong yeah and I'm like what's with. this guy where's chipper like treat me. like a tourist and then I feel like him. in my back and I shouldn't know what a. Dolphins dick feels like uh-huh I.
shouldn't know you shouldn't never seen. one I've been down some rabbit holes on. pornhub. yeah I've seen guys pregnant wives head. getting trained by brothers um I've seen. [ __ ] everything you could think of. never seen the Dolphins deck never seen. a followed National Geographic slide. show science oh I couldn't pick one out. of a dick lineup right now let me tell. you something yeah when it's against. your body you know really it's the. aggression mmm like he was aggressive. and there's a space between my life vest.
and my back oh yes it was too big and. that's where he got his dick Oh. against my back between the life vest. how much dick is in a dolphin too much. yeah way too much like it's it's up my. back and his head's like here and I. don't know it was just it was a bit long. I could imagine a me of being that long. and I don't want to see it Nick really. long I'll put it up there and I don't. know how to yell like a really long dude. does it feel like a like a long finger. does it feel like a like a wiener does. it feel like Oh like he was like grab me. from behind but something was between us.
like a mini it was it I it still freaks. you just I knew what were you wearing a. big dude there's nothing shadier than. somebody wearing a freaking big life. jacket that's too big well vacation. they're either too small you throw them. to the side look no life that's not. vacation fits you for their xxx and a. clone of me. things like if not all the life s is too. big I'm you know I'm looking to meet. somebody you know good to know hopefully. yeah that's crazy bro so I don't know. how to yell like hey hey you're dolphins.
because the guys are like up on these. rocks like your dolphins dick it's stuck. between my life vest on my back because. I jerked them off and he thinks it's my. [ __ ] so I just floated there and I. start yelling dolphin god stop I swear. the guy turns to me and he goes dolphins. rock you know it buddy. like knows I'm saying dolphin [ __ ] table. [ __ ] and then I'm completely alone and. they give you an 8 by 10 photo for free.
like my mom as bad as her Alzheimer's. God she'd be like who are you I'm like. I'm JJ I'm your son. who's the man in the kitchen that's John. that's your husband you go never show. you the picture of my friend Dottie do. it you can see me sort of with all the. whitewash but he's up over my head his. life vest over my head like a hockey. jersey in a fight God then it sounds. like that's a for a rape case a little. bit it was rape II know I was it was. straight up a dolphin tried to [ __ ] me. dude imagine what he's telling his.
buddies right now he's like hey mom [ __ ]. that come baby and go it the other day. you think he's funny i from haha little. hole hands were here whatever that is. you know his jokes didn't keep me from. [ __ ] imagine if he hit my [ __ ] I. would have died oh we are the Dolphins. the rapey wave of dog man not going. through puberty is called Coleman. syndrome just to put there we go. Deron Coleman actually I think was the. boy's name a key part tailed actually. and he wasn't they named it after him.
yeah man that's crazy not going through. puberty what does it say about it it's. just 1 in 10,000 men have it. it's Wow and one it's high right yeah. okay there Willie have 4,000 in our. tails so this guy was like a real. entrepreneur again how did he monetize. not going through puberty oh I don't. know dude I think he probably well you. know a lot of these men will go back to. school even after they've graduated to. me younger girls and alike you have a. lot of cases of that right playing.
Little League World Series yep. oh I'd go back I'd be. side linebacker and just crush yeah you. could do it oh you could do I do paint. your skin brown and get back there go. back to high school and just wrestle. like 180 students and go to a small town. some of the people in high school 3040. years old because they're dumb just. because it'll of the laws are different. you know you have to get out of it you. have to graduate school the only way. stick around is if you don't get out. yeah we had a guy that's kind of mr. Larry that was in our class and that.
dude had to be his big trick was it was. an urban gentleman he could come in the. bathroom piss over you back into the end. of the urinal here uses that means he. had a boner Oh what do you have yeah I. have a book you have to have one to. shoot a piss over there he was a champ. brother this guy but he was at the. school for so long he was in I think. fifth or sixth grade for so long and. finally that it's like you're you know. you work here he got a job as a. janitorial how so how old was mr. Larry. that you know of in high school like. what was the oldest that you can recount.
I'd go and this was middle school up he. go 18 was he special like was he slow no. he was fast no I mean his brain was like. Italy slow laid some folks call the. Kaiser blade no I think he just didn't. care that much or at all I think he's. still team seventh-grade but he was. timely he showed up for school every day. but he also didn't care once he got. there now most people will show will not. show up yeah but he was very you know he. was on time the [ __ ] did he get laid no.
not really he had a uh he didn't have. like that great of hair and stuff I. don't know I also I never I didn't hang. out with the mouse out of school and I. wasn't [ __ ] you know I was 13 years. old so I don't even know he was an urban. gentleman from what I remember you know. and also you know the world was in a. different font back then there was as. many colors back then that's correct you. know more. it was just rosy bit man I'm going to uh. I want to get my dates in here before I. forget yeah. he just sold out in Tempe this week and.
I saw that it was sauce it I've been. here in so long I loved it so much I'm. doing Addison improv this weekend I love. that place in Dallas I love that place. the dates written down over there. sweetie. yeah Nick's gotta mom okay here we go. hired people were like hey you're. my talent I've like a 48-hour calendar. in my head yeah listen anything past. that I have no idea people like you're. coming to my town in three weeks I'm. like I guess like I guess I'm in my. you're in the town I get a lot of dates. man you got Tempe improv October 8th no.
that's done. oh that's done Addison improv 25 26 27. Houston improv November 1st 3rd and then. Tampa Florida side splitters November. 7th through 9th so and great all embraer. right after uh after Thanksgiving come. see me do comedy let's do it let's fill. it up. Charlotte Hollywood Delaware Atlantic. City Annapolis coming up in this is Phil. Texas let's get taxes fall off in the.
spring yeah come on to ads let's see. who's gonna rally most that's a place. where Houston what Addison yeah I love. it too Trey's ago dude I love it man. that place is fun dude how much trouble. you gotten down in Tampa wonder okay. yeah you know I'm like I mean compared. to Tempe oh yeah like I got done with I. didn't ring my phone to the show so I. couldn't like be searching for [ __ ]. good and ER the things you're doing. these days to stay all like to try and. curb that kind of appetite that's one. thing it's it's a problem yeah it's a. problem it's just validation I need.
validation and it's like whether it's. escorts. which is I prefer it yeah because I know. organized yeah it's like they're coming. over we're gonna do a thing and it's. gonna take place in this amount of time. and everybody yeah go on about their. business it's like going to some club. and some girl goes he raped me. yeah no you don't I got the recital go. to you know go to clubs yeah like I work. at a club right go home. so I leave right away I don't bring my. phone to the show and then I just like. read a book and try to fall asleep.
there's nothing good out there you're. just gonna get in trouble what is that. thing inside of us cuz it look man I can. relate on over senator held my first car. was a Ford Escort so I should have known. right-handed but where did you go wrong. huh. oh yeah well we're nothing and drive. that [ __ ] run did I ever one time I was. driving naked around town right because. this is Backlund people didn't know if. you were naked you know and the cop. there was a [ __ ] pit bulls yeah.
alright this is back when people didn't. know whether or not you were naked yeah. now everybody tells everybody they're. like oh you know they'll make a funny. video or something back in the day you. can drive with no pants on yeah or no. shirt nothing and you're like oh he's. got a shirt off it's odd out yeah now. you'd be like the guys [ __ ] naked a. yes alright nice but now it's like you. can do this back then you would just. cruise around naked pull up talk to. people in the yard and [ __ ] the [ __ ].
why because it was fun Jay you know. disagree it was women was running fear. of getting caught. no I don't keep down the story cuz. you're too good a storyteller for me to. be you know that's back when it was the. Wild West dude you know you could just. hey how are you guys do you guys just. move in here - some lady if I can you. know cutting her kids hair and your. heart and you're just sitting there. [ __ ] butt-naked but would she ever. see that you were naked or oh they.
thought you were dissipate just a local. neighbor nice you're a citizen you were. a citizen. yeah you're a local citizen didn't make. a neck of one yeah you were one of the. you were one of the many citizens that. did that hit puberty locally and you. were [ __ ] living enough to his. driving around town you know I'd love to. drive around naked might when I had my. Escalade I would drive back to Orange. County every day after I was working and. I just I'm like why can't I just see. somebody playing with her [ __ ] of my.
own never saw it you know I wasn't. looking down into buddy's car excited. truck oh yeah that's nice when with the. San Francisco when I was crossing the. Bay Bridge I'm like everyone smoking. reefer like everyone in the car like it. was alive was the only one not smoking. grass in my car. I couldn't believe different times man. you sick honey buddy. yeah copter I caught a cold the other. day that's terrible it's the worst man. but yeah man I've been doing pretty good. with the partner I've been doing real.
good with the pornography I got back. onto it a couple months ago are you. still watching it no I'm about two weeks. clean right now I think three weeks I've. never made the efforts and I watch it at. all really at all do you got to get the. apps man what's that. what else there's an app called mobisit. that's for your phone and there's a. different that's I'm a computer let me. know what it is anymore. oh covenant eyes you once I got the hats. one of the rabbit what do they have to. do they you cannot look up any. pornography you know just use your.
imagination you can't even look up like. woman's hat if you want to buy your mom. a hat or something or if it's you know. like a Kentucky Derby or something you. can't even get that you can't even get. it I've been talking about I need like. some kind of block oh it's a boat and. once I did that here's the funny thing I. found out about an airplane looking at. porn on my phone oh that's disgusting. I dressed guys draw a picture okay. driving around town naked yeah but. you're young you know at that point you. can get out of [ __ ] sheltered jaemor. gets mustard looking at this point. yeah mobisit and we don't work for them.
I wish we did man I wish I worked with. them I would like someone if someone. knows of a pornography app they want to. build one and we want to work together. to offer a cheaper alternative to people. this one is it's expensive it's $15 a. month now the value is immense though. because here's what I realized I'm too. lazy then like my my addiction my. addiction to look at sexual deviance. online it falls off once it's in and. once it's not easily accessible I give.
up my dick I don't have that addiction. that's like oh you know that younger I'm. gonna get through his firewall I'm gonna. fix it yeah or like I'm gonna drive. around naked like I you know had when I. was young what about dating apps nope I. took them all off my phone yeah the time. suck women just want to be pen pals on. those things oh yeah it's a lot of I. think I think it's a lot of lonely women. just wanting to be yeah I got kicked off. a dating app they thought I was. catfishing ladies as jaemor I got an. email everything I don't it was rhymes. with OkCupid I'm like do I fight these.
people and go like no I am Jay Mohr let. me go see a whole bunch of sixes and. fives I'm like whatever man and then. you're like ladies are [ __ ] up the. dating app game like full body shots. only I went on a date the girl was. beautiful in her photo like full body. shots only because you fat [ __ ] you. tricked me one time she shows up to the. date through the wall like [ __ ] cool. a big flat saw with a pretty face oh. yeah. I'm there for [ __ ] yet with rice. she's much like Jesus Christ grimace.
like what she was gorgeous yeah yeah she. was it's a lot of trickery bruh right. and filters on the photo they show up. you're like you're not a panda but can. you imagine this though all the tricky. then having to show up somewhere. they got balls on them big fat [ __ ]. comes in like Jeeves a [ __ ] fatso. that's crazy. you know you're fatso mention it by the. way I don't know if you know who is yeah. I've always seen my face I'm a big fat. [ __ ] yeah I'm a lord. yeah I like to stay large man or I don't.
know you know this gives you barley on. the app you know you only seen my face. but yeah I want you to be surprised or. shocked or set back or put off because. when you see all of me now I'm a big fat. [ __ ] you know I missed it I could put my. hands in my pockets when I'm naked I'm a. big gal have a big gal you know I'm. shaved I don't know what's been going on.
I've been on these dating apps you know. how about that that Bumble yeah that's. good because that one Scrolls up and. down not left and right yeah so if. you're an information on lady I have to. go down to the bottom you know and then. weigh the Vitamix says she lives in st. Louis all right well I do yeah st. Louis. Cardinals fan. what the H yeah what am i hugging gonna.
take her out for a Bush bear I can go. down a rabbit hole sometimes I just. can't stop doing it a norm some people. are saying you're still living with your. mother is that your that's crazy talk. yeah yeah I'm a drive around a Kunis. Louisiana naked just cuz I like that gal. that cuts her kids hair on the lawn you. know yeah yeah neighborly yeah Toby's my. yeah yeah I like these girls on the apps.
that go long-term relationship only yeah. I don't believe that's true. nobody feel walks out into a car. unless they want to buy her [ __ ] have. you been with some pretty bigger girls. norm you seem like a guy that knows his. way around a uh you know a real uh a. 2-bedroom lady you know yeah that's. funny. clean up to bed oh I don't think I'm. making fun oh dude. everybody's making hundred or more he's.
the best no he's the best. well I'm Nolan I am NOT Joel I don't. think you make up no I know you um what. was the thing here's hell no on the. dating app I do do a joke on stage it's. like long-term relationship only like. really yeah like sure like that's my. joke like nobody goes on the car lot. unless they wanted my Akaka a long-term. relationship only dad how'd you meet mom. I swiped right while I was taking a [ __ ]. I know huh I'm saying long-term. relationship only it's [ __ ] tinder. socket yeah do you think let's get this.
question a question came in from a young. male actually and it's a norm account. related this is your friend Ryan from. Antioch California right now I'm. supposed to be delivering pizzas but the. pressing thing of my life is asking you. guys a question. mostly Jay but hey it's okay so my. question is is what is your favorite. Norm Macdonald story I have a feeling I.
know what you're gonna say but who cares. tell the story anyways we all love it. it's the best story ever I don't know. what story's talking about but he thinks. he knows I'm gonna tell us my favorite. nor McDonald's story I don't know either. I was that a California Pizza man oh. yeah yeah bunch of wheels yeah big fat. wife big fat [ __ ] you know of giving an. ear written beautiful big guy Wow you. know I'll take care of everything I'm.
gonna order pizza yeah I don't make. everybody happy. yeah that guy is asking questions on the. Obon podcast his pipe seven minutes late. Wow that [ __ ] guy's wife digestive. you can I go insane it's so good though. my favorite thank you my favorite nor. McDonald's stories probably when you. guys don't know. within my book is when he would oh I. okay greatest I know I think I know what. he's talking about. Wow what was the kid's name oh yeah a.
pizza man. anthe Ryan louder back Ryan louder from. the Antioch louder back you know not to. be confused with the ones in Pahrump huh. I don't know what's going on we were. writing a sketch well I was watching. other people write and rewrite a sketch. and there's like 30 writers and the. sketch was David Spade Fred wolf wrote. it for David Spade original and it was a.
weight-loss supplement but it was just. PCP and crack oh yeah put in a milkshake. and you smoke it and you just go about. your day and then like you know when. they show like a fat person becoming a. skinny person that says like you know 16. weeks like six hours yeah. and David's like I'm gonna help you lose. weight you're like ride the snake you. got to ride the snake. don't let snake ride you and then they. just have all these people like. shrinking into like skeletal bodies and. because they're just it's just growl. drugs yeah that's drug laid back.
they say drug-related and they have. Farley a pre-filmed piece of Farley in a. drive-thru window that they're gonna cut. to in the in the in the sketch and. Farley pulls up to a drive-thru window. and he goes I'll have he's one of the. people that are just started oh yes I'll. have 14 cheeseburgers 14 hamburgers four. vanilla milkshakes six strawberry.
milkshakes three chocolate milkshakes. six apple pies and it just goes on and. on and on and the rewrite it was like. from 1:00 in the morning till 3:00 in. the morning I'm not kidding it was two. hours guys from Harvard Brown Yale. arguing over what Oh cuz the guy goes. will there be anything else and what he. says next for two hours they're like how. many repeats the exact same order again. yeah how about he says all that and goes. a diet coke company says all that and.
goes make that nine apple pie when I say. two hours - I'm not kidding. from 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. and what we didn't. know was norm was sitting on a couch at. the other end of the writers room and. it's just going around and it's crass I. could totally imagine that too but it's. like they're just huge order anything. else and he goes yeah because he was. like yeah anything else yes and then. what comes after he says yes that's the. whole crux of the origin and norm goes.
we know visa trivial yeah you guys we're. all jumpy hey you guys got Chris go and. give me all that food like 14 of those. things and 25 apple pies you know and. the guy and the box goes uh hey well. will that be all. why is the Chris go yes it's the. greatest rewrite in the history of. comedy no I also want an enormous thing.
was like he had pride like you had. control after all the [ __ ] food he. goes yes one syllable one syllable we. were on the ground rolling laughing and. then when they filmed it he's like all. day 14 cheeseburgers um 44 fries and. this and 22 cheese milkshakes and this. and the app behind the guys will that be. all it probably goes yes. he's proud of himself it was [ __ ].
amazing it was why not um one thing. that's funny uh-oh here he said ask you. to write dirty work to so I worked all. day yesterday I'm finished it this is. normally Donald Twitter just yesterday. uh he's working on dirty work too well. it's gotta be a parody tweet cuz it's a. 500 page manuscript scriptures about 106. pages what I think he's actually got.
some pages out wait wait what did he. cross half we wrote North written by me. Oh dirty work - no I'm done pranking now. I'm married to a beautiful scientist Oh. Brad Pitt's in it. rich and she has a beautiful face and we. have a cat named kitty and we love kitty. like a child you guys well Marge cannot. have children because the chemicals in. her lab have rendered her barren.
rendered her barren why go home and read. that do you think one of the reasons. that um what did norm do after SNL did. he just tour he had a sports show on. Comedy Central I've briefly people loved. him it was so much I'm one of those. people I'm powerless he makes me laugh. so hard yeah did he just make me laugh. through you so hard that yes was. probably the most I've laughed in months. man that's that's in my book there.
gasping for air time book it was like. [ __ ] it was a one syllable yeah that. was yes look we'd argue over what to. name of high school like opening opening. shot of Jefferson High to urban [ __ ]. high school high don't be too jokey yeah. don't tip it this like all these things. you don't even know what it means in. high school David Spade the other day. was yeah she's funny guy man he was. telling me an or McDonald's story where. they all went on a plane to do a show.
somewhere together and he just said one. of the ways that Norman makes you laugh. he'll be like what is this and it's just. a like a door you know any like or like. a cherry like David what is a you sit. down it it's not the age yeah what is. this little ledge here you he's like. it's a chair norm its chair then what. are you doing with it there's there's. three of them right here it's just I'm. not singing that but he and he went on.
like this five-minute monologue of Noir. McDonald asking him what a bathroom door. was and it was one of the funniest. things that I ever heard it was just. yeah he just says I don't know if it's. his voice or what it is about nor. McDonald that just makes I mean I don't. know it just did there's nobody likely a. thing making that sound right it's a dog. whistle it's the it's the only you can. only get nor McDonald with no McDonald. it's the only sentient being that emits. that transmission okay.
yeah like we all got like all these. influences going through us at different. times and regional accents and dialects. he's just norm yeah and now if I got. like no one walked into a place to get. work and be like ah nah man yeah it's. just so they've missed a lot of norms I. feel like I thought there's been a lot. of norms over the years they might have. missed I know you want more of je more. pretty bad joke there but I got to pay.
the bills man and and let's talk about. one of my favorite things honestly the. holidays and people think the holidays. what is it you know people think holla. holla. and people just yelling at each other. that's not it it's a seasonal time it's. at the end of the year and I know it's. crazy to talk about him this early but. uh but you don't want to go through. another holiday season taking. closed-mouth photos while everyone else. is grinning ear-to-ear so get a photo.
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Francisco together and Artie it was open. from there in San Francisco and uh rape. floor he goes on stage no I'm gonna hey. Artie no no I don't do any of that [ __ ]. stuff yeah don't don't do any don't do. any of that [ __ ] stuff out there San. Francisco you can't go out there and do. homosexual jokes you know. I like to yeah you can't you can't do. any of that gay [ __ ] stuff you get it's.
not gonna fly here you know you have to. have respect for where you are yeah so. he goes out this 20 minutes mother comes. out his first joke yeah how many [ __ ]. you have AIDS. they say it's does not discriminate but. only gay guys have right that's kind of. discriminatory no and I think not. discriminating supposed to be a good say. something like that but she goes right.
on stage yeah how many [ __ ] here have. eight hey don't do it against Oh God. here man what a puppeteer a lot of them. yeah I'd love to be in his head for a. minute any reminds me of like a Midwest. and of like a you know of like just uh. he reminds me of like so many characters. that you just don't see anymore you know.
yeah I mean you and you never have seen. a guy like that like it's always been. off the beaten path yes like guys like. norm guys like Colin Quinn guys like. like Richard Lew think of how much they. had to bomb before they found a theater. of people that came to see them. regularly that mastered that because. it's such a finite frequency like Dennis. Miller I learned a lot like Dennis. Miller's off-white album and the HBO.
special that it was was called mr. Miller goes to Washington i I've. listened to that more and send more from. my comedy in my life than all comedy. albums combined because he's making. those crazy references and like you know. two-thirds of the audience don't even. know what it means but the rhythm still. great but the people that do get it. they're never not gonna see him right. it's like oh my god he said Twyla Tharp. it's just it's insane so like Colin. Quinn stuff and like norm stuff like. when Richard Lewis got going emo Philips.
yeah like these guys were so like what. what's happening like Dennis wolfburg. like way back guys like. like when Kinnison started was like. what's happening it wasn't what. everybody else was doing yeah it's like. listening to poison and Cinderella and. then James addiction comes along you're. like woo God. wow it's different it's great it's new. right so then like the fact that they go. out that like they just they were game. they kept going you know it's so true. when you when I like a lot of times. people will submit me like if you will.
submit music to because they want to be. they want to be on the front of the. podcast right cousins we put new music. on their music from different listeners. and stuff and and it's awesome and I'm. grateful for the submissions but some of. you're like oh this band sounds just. like right this other band and then I. started to think like yeah the real way. to be novel is not to be like okay this. is what's going on I'm gonna do that. right and succeed with that it's to find. whatever voice inside of you is.
different and it's gonna be [ __ ]. Rocky for a while because nobody's gonna. believe that that's the next sound that. that's the thing until you get it. fine-tuned you know I think you're I. think you're right but I think you're. alongside it and that is not fine the. voice that nobody else is doing you just. have to find your [ __ ] voice right. and then maybe it's one that nobody else. is doing right like Jane's Addiction as. an example we were all it was like.
poison Cinderella Motley Crue girls. girls girls. and then Jane's Addiction was like all. it was all treble and his voice was real. tinny and weird and Dale Morrow had. these like landscape he sounds like this. is [ __ ] evil what's happening and. like there's very few band. yeah that's he's gotta be true to. yourself like in comedy like they go if. I do interviews and they're like so. what's your what's your point of view. like what like from here's my point of. view yeah like what does I think that me.
I've been answered a dozen times what's. my point of view yeah I don't [ __ ]. know dude were you coming from one stage. where you come from yeah what do you. talk about yeah yeah people say what do. you talk about [ __ ] stuff yeah it's. like the biggest I mean imagine asking. like a painter so like what do you paint. before he paints yeah cuz we. on stage yet it's different every night. yeah and that's why it comedy is the. greatest art form it's the most art art.
form the risk yeah it's not forget about. that sometimes not poetry not any art. form you can think of comedy blows it. out of the water and I can prove the the. size every single viewing the materials. change the size of the frame changes the. way people are looking at it one night. it's a sculpture one night it's like. looks like a [ __ ] Jackson Pollock the. length of time it is is different all. the time the people looking at it make. it different every time. it's it's crazy it's like a guy making a.
making like a yeah it's like making. ravioli and a and a matrix and so that's. neat way to put it yeah it's like you're. just working with like we control time. yeah we literally Bend time you tell a. story about when you were a kid I was. watching the cartoon about Halloween in. the back your mom's oh yeah you know. pick up and so yeah the station wagon. but if I'm listening that without the. car is so funny buddy I saw thanks man.
yeah it's so good somebody's doing that. with you it's fallen but when you tell. that story without that without the. cartoon for me to stare it I'm there I'm. I'm I'm picturing the car and the heat. in the car you driving around naked and. the lady color kids hair on their front. lawn oh yeah things like that I'm there. I pictured a yard in my head yeah I. pictured what the roads look like there. probably weren't sidewalks yeah yeah. you're probably in like a Ford Granada. or some or you said what kind of car.
like 40 I actually created a town in my. head no other art does that the other. art goes this is what you're looking at. this is blue that's orange and it's all. like mushy mush and it kind of looks. like a guy's falling down or this is a. sculpture that's what you're looking at. we say [ __ ] in the audience creates what. it is in your head yeah like George. Carlin goes the best to me the best. comedy in Scent best sentence in comedy. [ __ ] Tucker Tucker sucks he's talking. about soft names make soft people I'm. getting sick of guys named Todd and Cody.
and Dylan and Tucker yeah [ __ ] Tucker. Tucker. sucks there is no Tucker you have to. create your own Tucker in your head as. an audience member yeah cya him to the. point of applause in this amount of time. now like [ __ ] Tucker tuck [ __ ] Tucker. Tucker so there's only three words in. that sentence yeah cuz Tucker's repeated. [ __ ] Tucker Tucker stuck in that amount. of time you have to create a Tucker and.
I [ __ ] hate the guy I just thought of. yeah it's in say he's a wizard and I'm. and [ __ ] Todd and guys that look like. Todd and you're like yeah you don't even. know hearing no you only fire a [ __ ]. you'll marry a human being in your head. oh there's Mike put an arrow and gas and. light and [ __ ] fire it into a damn. field at odds brushing spirit who what. t-shirts hit the baseline um are you. star you watching uh are you watching.
any sport to you what still watching. hoops yeah well it seasons about the. star what do you think of this Chinese. fallout it's a tough awesome man. it's about them look let's not let's not. [ __ ] it let's call a spade a spade yeah. half the almighty dollar. yeah NBA's got billions of dollars. rolling in. they knew that going in risky and that's. how they're not the first company no to. make inroads in China and go like II. don't do that we're making millions and.
billions of dollars yeah this what and. this was LeBron right here talking about. it and LeBron is such a sorry going Nick. all talk about this. yes we all do have freedom of speech but. at times there are ramifications for the. negative that can happen when you're not. thinking about others you know only. think about yourself so I don't believe. I'm gonna get into a word or sentence. feud with Darrell with Darrell more but. I believe he wasn't educated on the.
situation at hand. and any spoke and. so many people could have been harmed. not only financially but physically. emotionally spiritually so just be. careful what we we tweet and we say what. we do even though yes we do have freedom. speech but there can be a lot of. negative iced tea freedom of speech just. watch what you say it's hard what you. boy doesn't like daryl morey that's for. sure well what you become part of. because in fact it is his bottom line.
he's alright it'll be fun like if. somebody if like Rob palinka tweeted. that he wouldn't have that take if a. Lakers guy tweeted that right he. wouldn't throw him under the [ __ ] bus. it's family but it's a guy from the. Rockets oh that's a good point. oh yeah like if you're not educated on. the issues like what education do I need. the fact that they're fighting for. democracy right you know but he's right. though they could have been physically. like I know people in the Lakers. organization that were concerned they. that like they wanted him home like. let's are they gonna come home right are.
they going to come home yeah one of my. friends works for the NBA he was over. there and he said the second that it all. kind of went down that after that they. always felt watched after that court you. know when Nixon went to China and the. motorcade from the airport to whatever. like the ambassador's palace everybody. on the street was an actor playing a. person on the street Wow. not amazing didn't want anybody getting. out of line they hired actors to be the. guy with the newspaper walking to his. car they had a lady with a baby that was.
an actress like just people just Nixon. looking out the window and find people. here yeah there were all actors from. that whole route that he followed us. praying they're doing the roles okay. dude China doesn't play man I went to. China last year to China dude yeah what. to Shanghai or something oh yeah. Shanghai and some comedy there other. areas yeah did comedy over there for a. lot of expats a lot of that's amazing. see oh yeah it was pretty cool man it. was um might have been a year and a half. ago Wow but China doesn't play do China.
but there was no white people there's. nobody it's just Chinese people. you can't go stay in China you can't. show up in China with no papers a mill. around China doesn't give a [ __ ] dude. I've said it before you walking down the. street in China you die they make a soup. out of you buddy. you know. and they do it gracefully brah now there. there's love and there's a lot of like. you know like but they're moving forward. you know I'm saying they're like we're. using you as nutrients we're gonna go. build you know do whatever we need to do. and stop moving your internal some.
windows or [ __ ] dude you got people. [ __ ] blow and drywall with their own. mouths bro you don't you got people. [ __ ] dude you'll have one guy mixing. asbestos in another guy's open mouth bro. they're not playing yourself at a hair. dude I think the easiest job in the. world cuz comedies maybe one of the. hardest ones right police sketch artist. EJ that's got to be an easy job you know. yeah I'll tell you the easiest job in. the world police sketch artist in China.
guy comes they go I got Chinese police. hell yeah I just got robbed and they go. hey we got it five five straight black. hair Marlboro Reds yeah we got his photo. you know oh my god that's awesome man. it's me dude it's all you know it's a. that's Colin I think like the easiest. job in the world is probably police. sketch artist in China yeah some guy.
comes in with a straight a Chinese. policeman I just got robbed like yeah we. mean who he is. we're on the lookout five five straight. black hair Marlboro Reds smushed in nose. okay. we don't even Italian with Down syndrome. maybe all right yeah. or that can also be a Jim Norton if he. has to run to the airport in like an. hour he catches flight because it's a. little more antsy when he has to go. either way both of our [ __ ].
immaculate oh my goodness what does arts. it's like a strong area it's you know we. was in here over an hour you know well. what is this this big chunk of wood here. look this used to be a tree or something. there's a table norm is a table oh what. a table like um you know if you want to. set things on stuff or you don't want to.
hold on to stuff all the time. I may be an old chunk of coal here yeah. and I may have been born at night but I. wasn't born last night but if I want to. set things go like emotional baggage for. past relationships our regret I don't. see how this well what is it called a. table it's for a table yeah like if you. want to do a puzzle Wow understand what. is this wood yeah this why still yes. this time what kind of wood is your.
tailor I think maple now did you have to. make a table out of a certain kind of. wood or if I could lose the umbrellas. good I'm struggling here. I loved it man [ __ ] his clothes never. got to know him I've asked him 40 times. come on yourself well you know 47th time. is the charm is what no one ever says. you know um do you think what these. athletes getting back to the best of all. do you think what these athletes that. LeBron is like a business though it's. not even like a person on the court. anymore at a certain point it's just.
you're too big you can't do he can't say. anything he wants to he's not making his. own usually does he usually does yeah. he's usually very outspoken because the. the Commissioner wanted the players to. be available for the media in China. mm-hmm but the Commissioner in the NBA. hadn't had an official statement yet so. LeBron was the guy that led the players. to say whoa. work you haven't spoken to the media we. didn't do anything wrong right you. addressed it we're not gonna go talk to. get fed to the Wolves so like that's.
LeBrons power hmm is there like okay. it's media day in LeBrons like no it's. not we're not doing media because you. have not spoken to the media you're the. commissioner you're in charge. wow that's that's gravitas man yeah. that's gravity just today the Chinese. state broadcaster said Commissioner Adam. Silver will face retribution sooner or. later for saying that Beijing wanted him. to fire daryl morey so like like that. you can't win with these folks is this.
camera right here yes China suck my dick. I'll say it in Chinese suck my dick yeah. like [ __ ] relax China [ __ ] stop. China won't stop dude I'm telling you. bro their game give us. yeah their game this but their gaming. when you when the dog goes in the cage. they [ __ ] decorate you know mean you. go to China will [ __ ] clean house. Chinese women bro dude do you can't vote. there's not even you're not cleaning. house over there man joke oh yeah like.
there's gonna be red I think that. retribution to the NBA commissioner like. they're gonna [ __ ] slap his neck when. he's sleeping you know what they'll do. they'll probably get three guys on each. other's shoulders put him in a like a. warm-up outfit get him onto a team and. just have him doing wild layups and then. I think we all know how the Chinese are. gonna but tribution and I'm sober and. that is of course three words how. unfastening one fan raised 43 one Laker. fan raised forty three thousand dollars.
to hand out stand with Hong Kong. t-shirts at the Lakers season opener. because Hong Kong the season opener. that's coming up a lot in China no no no. yeah baby in jail yeah yeah it's. interesting how it's like well I'm sorry. he raised money to make [ __ ] t-shirts. yeah it was that he doesn't mean Theo. your money your creeps [ __ ] t-shirt. man yeah people gave him how much. forty-three thousand to make t-shirts. damn I'll just read each yeah cause two.
bucks to make [ __ ] rules you got taken. how many people can even fit in the. state in yeah it's an it sixteen. thousand twenty twenty-two something so. yeah they got taken but it's just why I. think everybody understand should be. like this every time there's a free. throw airway just going like every time. is afraid that you see the audience are. waving like no sniper sticks what did. you see like some guy goes to the line.
and is deeply I don't know like six. hundred people that like oh that's how. you [ __ ] with China the protesters might. take offense to that - that's the crazy. thing dude it's not a democracy or not. right right to do it people are like. it's their right to throw me out of. Staples Center - I'm not [ __ ] doing. and I'm a company man. dude it's I'm not [ __ ] on my Lakers. relationship but you'll have so many. people in America it's like oh we got a. you know everybody we have to be so. welcoming to other countries we have to. be so welcome any child lives we. to make America more like China so. people from China can fit in but if you.
made America more like China then you'd. be making it a [ __ ] it is more like. China we have a [ __ ] dictator but I'm. just saying you'd be making it um if you. made it more like I don't know what I'm. [ __ ] saying bro [ __ ] I hate talking. sometimes a man not as not as much as I. hate talking really I can't stop I just. found out I was bipolar three weeks ago. did you really diagnose the forty nine. years old am i you think no [ __ ] bipolar. type - I need something you don't you. know I swear.
let's just keep talking off air but. you're all right yeah it's this town. [ __ ] what you do. yeah this town don't [ __ ] with you dude. who's this guy Martin Harris that the. lead singer of a razor lips like sugar. see a big fan of the podcast appreciate. your work Jay big fan of your career in. general one of my favorites of all time. it's one that flies under the radar I. feel and that's mafia hilarious movie.
it's been a favorite of mine for years I. would love to know a little bit more. about how that came to be made and if. you have any good stories surrounding. that flick it's an absolute riot to. watch I also really enjoyed the doc that. you made about HR from Bad Brains how. did that come about super interesting I. didn't know that your background was in. you know hardcore punk stuff like that. do you have any other favorite bands. from the genre from the era whether it's. New York DC gang brah that's gang guy. that you yeah and we pull up I go to.
youtube finding Joseph and so mafia is. one of my favorite movies I ever did for. many different reasons. a I never was in a comedy before that. was my first comedy being a comedian why. I done 14 movies and other my first. comedy but it wasn't really a comedy for. me because it took the guys did the. airplane and hot shot so everything I. said is the movie venture knows that him. know Jim Abraham's so everything I said. I had to say straight and all the.
craziness happens around yeah you're. just a son likes QT stewardess I speak. chive like she's not making it she's not. acting like a joke. like an airplane she has to say it. straight like she speaks jive so it was. so much. I made good dough and it's the only. movie I ever auditioned for that they. told me I had it at the audition Wow I. auditioned they go so you want it this. is great you want to do it I'm like yeah. how much you want to be paid. I go six hundred thousand dollars they. go great I'm like [ __ ] I should have. said 1 million yeah yeah yeah 3 minutes.
I gotta go to practice understood this. is the this is available everywhere does. the documentary made with James lay. those the director he handed me a whole. bunch of footage of the band Bad Brains. and we sort of redirected it towards. mental health do you know the band Bad. Brains do you're about to get educated I. want and this was a I'm I'm as proud of. this of anything I've ever done this. about three years ago we finally got it. sold so he'll dig it.
greetings in the name of his Imperial. Majesty Jer Rastafari and this is a. documentary you produce director. executive Wow it looks good man it's. fantastic my friend Scott I love that. dude he loves all kind of music Bad. Brains the lead singer he's the lead. singer of Bad Brains it's there one of. the most important punk bands ever. that's like 1980 from DC a bunch of. black guys doing punk bunch of Roscoe's. to put the from DC they're all like. military gets to to him were how did you. get on to him.
I'm punk rock I like punk you like Henry. what's his name Henry Wallace he's like. when he's he like boughs at the altar of. Bad Brains so really I know if he boughs. to anybody he's gonna do it everybody. yeah he loves like he was in that scene. and then Fugazi came out of DC yeah yeah. these they start at all like he Kenny. puppy was that one or not. I'm looking from DC but I acid bath or. no Beastie Boys sample Bad Brains like. round that's like a break from a bad.
brain song and. Jane's Addiction Perry Farrell was asked. out what their music sounds like and he. goes we're across between Duke Ellington. and bad break his old guy goes what's a. bad ring like some old documentary so. you're one of the neatest Bad Brains I. know man I got good brains bad brains. they're just brains my brains. well what do you mean. hey I notice you have a thing on your. head is your head okay because you have.
bananas where your hair should be well. what happened maybe there's a banana. accident it's like yeah yeah maybe maybe. you're a monkey's uncle. I think that's perfect man one of the. baddest brains I know J Moore thanks for. coming in today man I love all of you. too man. yeah that's life sentence straight up. you and 24/7 wake me up you need. something I got it yeah man they say in. Hawaii this guy once said to me I was.
breaking his balls we're shooting. something in the ad was Hawaiian and. Korean Tommy Tommy Cho all right we. doing it are we doing it are we doing it. or what's happening if the lights go. well I was being a dick and he goes hey. if Ken can if no can know Ken so if Ken. can do you know what they say don't come. on my back and tell me it's raining. brother you feel me oh yeah let me know. you're coming on my back so I enjoy it. here's a white supremacist real quick.
let's [ __ ] get this guy in more my. question is for you do the news in a gym. Bert Kreischer currently it's got a beef. at night in a gym Murray's you do this. guy seems like a rumor what are we doing. like acting performances for the. questions like I'm supposed to be. delivering pizzas but everybody Shatner. they all try to be feel a little bit do. you and they I don't think it's steel.
like it's more maybe maybe that one. wasn't but like you and Bert Kreischer. happy rumor has it what you do know I. think they're doing this thing I got. [ __ ] kids I'm divorced twice I've. gotten sober twice I give him the IRS. $700,000 twice like a [ __ ] beef with. anybody rule by the way there's no room. yeah rumor doesn't it the first of all. rumor never hit that guy yeah I mean I'm. glad that guys support in the podcast.
but also that guy has on no shirt and. beanie which older guy that guy's legit. are you cold or not. fight he's in his gym [ __ ] put in. work and in the middle of working out he. goes let me get this question where do. you get finding Joseph where can you get. it you got to look it up because the. director panicked and sold it to a. lesser distributor it should be on. iTunes and [ __ ] Netflix but the. director took the like a little more.
money for it to be on a different. platform you can buy it on YouTube. that's one place but I was there anybody. I have no idea where but it's out there. out of some Texas you got to come back. again soon man. and into Monday's I know these I'm. always free I've kind of do you do this. every week a couple times a week yeah. once we be doing less gas but I talk to. you forever it's easy sometimes come. back next Monday you just shove it and. make it an evergreen show some people. it's uh we're just come back we'll do. we'll do next my dad loved to have you.
back come on we're talking about. whatever if Ken can if Ken can can can. hey remember what the flash said when he. was walking over the mirror he'll that's. one way of looking at it you know uh-huh. now we're gonna addicted to doing norms. like quiet voice there's this guy yeah. and we were like yeah we are going. across Ontario and everything that is. bad guy you know that's like when you. really can get an impression I give you.
do the person quiet I love that like. Christopher Walken all right man I gotta. go to practice and change some lives and. you change mine buddy game bro good game. I love you love you too man get back in. the ocean with me I will new paddle. boards really yeah he's like an aircraft. carrier oh yeah do that c-130 huh. [Music].
[Music]. it's gonna take. little time for me to set that parking. brake. Oh. [Music]. [Music].
[Music].
