Fiona Cauley | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #634

Today's guest is a comedian and a. podcaster. Uh you may know her from her. appearances on Kill Tony. She has her. own podcast called Ramping Up and I'm. thankful that she's here today. Today's. guest is Miss Fiona Collie. >> And I will find a song I've been. singing.

>> Your house is beautiful, by the way. >> Oh, thanks. Yeah, I feel lucky to have a. place to live. Um, I got to get I think a new couch or. something. How many times after you sit. on a couch you have to get a new one? That's a thing. They should put like a. little counter on the side that kind of. goes down. >> I like that. It's like the lollipop. question. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Like how many sits does it take to. >> Oh, you're out and it catapults you out. [laughter].

>> The springs just activate. >> Yeah. At a certain point. >> I like that. No nonsense. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's what we need now. It's like. Yeah. How many How many sits does it. take to get to the center of your sofa? >> I would be screwed. >> Really? >> Cuz all I do is sit. >> Oh, that's true. Huh? >> Mhm. >> You're [laughter]. what some people would consider a heavy. sitter, huh? >> Yeah. I'm professional. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Y'all ain't got to [ __ ] on me. >> Um, for some of our listeners that don't.

know, so you have you live with a. ailment? What do people do people call. it a disease? An ailment? Just cuz. you're already talking about it. Yeah, it's a disease, a disability. It's. called Friedriexia. >> Yeah. What is it? Is it okay to ask you. about it? Are you okay? >> Yeah. Yeah. It uh so it's like a really. rare neurological disease and it's. progressive. Um and there are like 5,000 people in. the US that have it and I'm one of them.

And all the only difference between us, the reason you can walk and I can't is I. don't make enough of a protein called. for tax in. And that's kind of it. Like both my. parents were carriers didn't know and. then they had kids and we're screwed. >> And do the And so are you the only child. that has it? >> No. >> So if two parents have it and they have. a child, any child they have can have. it. can. Yeah, but also they might not.

Some of them, but I'm one of three. I'm. the middle and we all have it. I got. diagnosed first. So, so they can suck. it. Yeah. [laughter]. >> It's like that twin that's born later. >> Did you feel like they were Did Did you. feel like they were copying off you at. any point? >> I mean, I'm an I'm the middle child, so. it's like I can't have anything to. myself. My sister is even in the same.

wheelchair as me now. Rude. >> No, same brand. >> Yeah. >> Oh, >> I know. >> But but is she the younger sister? >> Older. >> Oh, that's not good. [laughter]. >> Cuz I noticed I I noticed my nephews at. Thanksgiving were dressing the same as. each other, but the one they're like two. years apart, and I was like, "Oh, it. kind of makes sense. The younger one is. dressing like the older one.". >> Yeah. It's even Well, imagine if like. your siblings like got the same car as. you. Yeah, >> it's the same thing. >> Oh, >> yeah. >> Do you have to have a Do you have to.

have a cane? How do you Because No, you. have a wheelchair. >> Well, good question. I mean, it's. progressive. So, I used to be an athlete. before I knew. And then I walked weird. like kind of like I'm drunk. I spoke. Still do speak that way cuz your. tongue's a muscle. >> Oh. And then I went into a cane phase. when I was 21 cuz they wouldn't serve me. at bars and I was like I got to find a. way to like show them it's like I'm not.

drunk. I I was drunk but I was. [laughter]. you know. >> did a lot of brothers hit on you when. you hit that cane? But it honestly I. would go to bars not bring the cane and. if a guy hit on me I was like that's a. bad person cuz I look like the drunkest. person in this right. It was a litmus. test. [snorts]. >> You're just reporting people at one. point. Did you and did did you and your. sisters have canes? Because that's.

almost like a a black prom. I feel like. if you guys [laughter] if you guys had. that. >> I did have like 14 to match every. outfit. >> Nuhuh. Yeah. >> Oh, that's kind of hot. >> Thank you. [snorts]. >> I have one that was like a sword cane. You unscrew the top and a sword came. out. >> Really? Oh, that's the one you. definitely needed. Probably an Irish. bar. >> Yeah, I took it on every date just in. case, you know. I don't [ __ ] with pepper. spray. Just sword canes. >> Oh, that's dude. That's the British.

pepper spray. [laughter]. The sword cane. That's exactly what. they're That's exactly the wildest thing. there is. That's unbelievable. [laughter]. Um, uh, Fiona Collie, thanks for joining us. >> Yeah, >> thanks for stopping by. I appreciate it. Um, we, uh, we got to do a show together. not long ago that was at the lab and. that was really awesome. And, um, and I. saw you're going to be on the Kill Tone. Are you on the Kill Tony? The Live from. Texas. What's it called? >> Once Upon a Time in Texas. Yeah. The one.

that just came on Netflix. >> That's you right there, right? >> Yeah. I love it. >> Wow. How crazy is that to see yourself on. like kind of like because this stuff. like this I think is kind of it's not. monumental but it's interesting in a. comics's career when they see themselves. on like a Netflix poster something that. gives us some semblance of what we deem. as a lot of us deem as success. Was that. interesting for you? >> Yeah, I mean I'm grateful it put me on. the poster. You know what I mean? But.

yeah, I mean being on Netflix. This is. actually the second time with Gil Tony. I've been on the. >> Oh, nice. I didn't know that. >> Yeah, the other one was at Madison. Square Garden. >> Dude, that's wild. And they kind of And. they hid your legs, too, which is Are. they. >> Which was nice of them. It grosses. people out. They don't want to see this. >> Oh, I bet a lot of [laughter] dudes. I. know some dudes who would. for sure. And [laughter] and also you. think they could have had you sitting on. his shoulder or something would have.

been pretty dope. >> That would have been way funnier. I like. that. >> So you've been doing comedy for. >> about five years. >> Okay. And was Kil did kill Kill Tony. feel like a big break for you? Like what. does that feel like? cuz. >> um yeah, I would say so I was you know I. live in Nashville so I was really just. working zies and I was starting to. feature and whatever and then I heard. about Kel Tony and people were like you. should go on that and I was like okay.

[laughter] it changed my life overnight. >> Wow. like fully, you know, I went from. like 30,000. followers and now I have like more than. half a million. >> Are you kidding me? >> Insane. Yeah. >> Wow, dude. Kudos to Tony and Redband. just for making that thing stick and. thrive and the years they went through. it at the comedy store where there were. times when it was big and times where it. was kind of like in between buildings. and like they were switching it around.

Even when they got to Austin, I think. they went to three different places and. they kept that thing alive. >> That's unbelievable. Um, was your first. time there, what's it like when your. first time there, did you know you were. going to get up or was it. >> Yeah. So, he basically what happened was. I didn't know what Kill Tony was. I. heard about it. >> Yeah. Cuz you're already, you know, you're already having health problems. Kill Tony sounds. It's like, >> right. I'm like, stay away from that. word, you Yeah. It's like I'm not seeing. another surgeon, you know.

>> Like what's nice, Fiona? [laughter]. >> No. I uh my. >> Sorry. And am I joking too much or no? >> No, I like it. >> Okay. I thought you did. That's the only. reason why I'm joking. >> No, I'll take it too far. You let me. know. >> Okay. [laughter]. >> Um. >> um so you go there and for people that. don't know, most of most of our. listeners know, but Kill Tony, it's a uh. it's a show that's run uh by Tony. Hinchcliffe and Brian Redband and they. basically bring in kind of newcomers. It's kind of the new tonight show in a. lot of ways and they have uh regular.

guests on there and um and a lot of. people go on there and get their first. minute. It's kind of their first minute. that's in front of the Kill Tony crowd. and sometimes those minutes are amazing. and sometimes those minutes are very. nerve-wracking. Um I think they're. probably nerve-wracking no matter what. But yeah, take me through that minute. like what's that first minute on Kill. Tony? What what is that what is that. like? Especially for somebody that's had. five years in comedy. Like because you. you know it's not some of these people. that it's their first time ever getting. on stage. Yeah. And some people just. hiding from their wives or something. Some people just hiding from ice for a.

minute. >> They're like this is one minute away. from ice, right? [laughter]. They won't find me here. Um but yeah, can you kind of take us through that? >> Yeah. So it's very it's stressful. because it's not you you realize it's. not just the room you're in that's going. to see it. It's not just a 300 people. The platform is so big. So you're like. everything I do right now is going to be. seen by millions of people and like.

you're stressed, you know, and also the. whole thing is like the panel gets to be. mean to you and the crowd loves that. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's very Roman coliseum, huh? >> It feels the arena shows for Kill Tony. feel so Roman. And I say that all the. time. >> Wow. >> And every time I go out in an arena show. with them, I swear the person right. before me gets booed by the entire arena. and then I'm like, [laughter].

>> that's kind of nice because then if. somebody else has taken that L, then. you're like, >> could have been me. Yeah. Yeah. >> But it was them. >> I've been through enough. [laughter]. >> Before you went on the first time, are. you just be are you like waiting in the. wings? What's What's the setup? >> Um, so I have cuz I'm in a wheelchair, I. have to like go around the building and. get carried up these stairs. >> by the dumpsters and stuff. >> Yeah. Yeah. It smells real bad. And but.

it reminds you of your life, you know? So I like I'm grateful [laughter]. for. >> And then Yeah, they have you waiting. back there. You smell like trash. You're. looking at Heidi, the best looking woman. I've ever seen in real life. Oh, does. she work on Kill Tony? >> Yeah. Have you know the beautiful blonde. high remember member? She's very nice. Look at her. >> Are you joking? >> I know. I'm not joking. Oh, wow. She. looks like Gina Davis.

And she's got strong cheekbones. Looks. like Jean Davis, too. >> Who used to play catcher for us when I. was growing up, actually. Great kid. Italian. Good guy. >> I'm like, I don't know [laughter] that. >> No, she's stunning. I'm just joking. I'm. sure she's on Kill Tony. She can take a. couple of jokes. Do they joke about her. a lot, too? >> Oh, yeah. She She's very funny. Dakes. jokes very well. Very. >> I got to go back on. >> Yeah, cuz that Heidi. >> No. Uh Well, [laughter]. it is funny that Yeah. You show a cute.

girl. >> I got to get there. [laughter]. >> I got to get back out there. It's like. you could show a picture of the North. Pole and guys are like, "That looks. cold. I ain't doing that shit.". [laughter]. And then you show a guy and you showed. us like a silhouette of some tits on the. edge of a glacier and some guy's like, "Man, we got to get back. [laughter]. >> I got to get back out there.". >> Yeah, I got to warm up the old ice pick. Bubba. warm up. [laughter]. >> Um, and so as you're going along, like, dude, I cannot imagine how overwhelming.

that feels. It reminds me of um I did a. late night set one time for Craig. Craig Ferguson. Yeah. And it never aired. because I think it was too edgy or. something they said and I was. heartbroken, dude. I was like, "Oh, I. worked so hard and put the set. together.". Um but that was nerve-wracking. That was. like one of the most nerve-wracking. moments because you kind of know what. you want to do, but you haven't been in. this instance where like there's like. for me there was like a lot of heat. would build up around my neck and you're.

you want to make sure your words get out. clearly. >> Uh that was that was. >> that was super frustrating for me. I. know you did a late night set. Did you. do Fallon? >> Yeah. >> Which one? Uh congratulations by the. way. >> Yeah. >> Was there any different feeling between. those two things or did one feel easier? I think Fallon fell easier because he's. not there to be mean to me. >> That's a good point. >> But he's not hiding your wheelchair. while you're up there. Like [laughter].

>> Redban will sell it on Etsy. >> Redbell my seat cushion on. [laughter]. >> No, that's hilarious. And he would too. That guy. Dude, shout out Redband who. people are like, "What does he look. like?" You're like, let's say sniff a. seat cushion. [laughter]. Is that. >> But very successful. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Sniffs seat cushions for fun.

>> Yeah. For That's true. For fun. I don't. Yeah. I don't think he wouldn't maybe do. it for profit. >> No, he doesn't need to. >> That's a good point. >> Yeah. >> He's making good money, dude. There you. are right there. >> Yeah. and they let me plug the the. foundation to raise money for my disease. and that was cool. >> What do you notice the differences. between like doing a set on a on Kill. Tony and a set on Fallon? Because that's. not a lot of people have probably had. that exact experience. >> The way like for me or the way it exists.

in the world. >> Just kind of the way it exists in the. world. >> Yeah. Um, I think Fallon impressed my. like grandparents, which finally they're like, "Oh, she is. a comedian." You know what I mean? >> That's true. >> Yeah. So, that was like something my mom. can send to people and be like, "Look at. my daughter." But with Kill Tony, they. definitely have a bigger reach now. You. know, late night is not the same, I.

think. >> Yeah, cuz I think people just less. people have cable. People are more tuned. into their phones, >> right? Kill Tony. is definitely more divisive. >> Yeah. >> You know, and so people make a lot of. assumptions about me through that. There. was I don't know. >> Yeah, it's more divisive. He almost sunk. Puerto Rico. Remember that? [laughter]. >> That was crazy. That was crazy, dude. And then they probably would have got.

sued. They would have lost the show. They would have had to change the name. to Kill Puerto Rico, [laughter]. probably, >> which would have been a lot, I feel. like. >> Yeah, a lot of people can't spell Puerto. Rico. [laughter]. >> But there there is this thing though. where it's like uh yeah, you do a. certain thing and people can see that. and that appeases them. That's kind of. an interesting thing as a comedian. I. think it's kind of an interesting thing. almost in anybody's walk of life with. with work because you're like, "Oh, if I. do this then my dad will he'll. understand that that to him equals. success or to my grandparents that to.

them equals success, >> right?" And it's different for everyone, but it it's like this I feel like part. of being a comedian is being like, "But. there's always going to be that one. person that doesn't believe I'm doing. anything real and I have to prove it.". And I that's just me. >> Yeah. I wonder if there's always like. somebody in the back of a comedian's. head that like fuels them, >> right? >> They're like, "One day I'll get that. person." Or. >> I bet there probably is. I bet there. probably is for everybody. I I bet it it.

it would be pretty fascinating to learn. like what really fuels like some of the. ways that we operate and the choices. that we make because it could be like. one or two people that said something. when you were young or one person's look. that gave you a certain feeling and. you're like and it just ignited this. thing inside of you. The worst is when. you hold on to those two words or that. look and they're like, "I don't remember. that.". >> You're like, "That dictated my future.". [laughter]. >> Yeah. You're like, "I'd still be I would. have kept walking if. >> Yeah.

>> You had [laughter]. >> I stopped walking because of that. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. Um Oh, dude, did you see that? What did. I see the other day?" Oh, they have an. autistic Barbie now. Did you see that? >> I did see that. Do people send a lot of. that stuff to you like, "Hey, >> wheelchair Barbie. >> or just like what do we think of this?". Like if there's some sort of like. >> Oh, like I'm like the voice of reason. for any disability. >> Yeah, you're like the um what's that? You're like the the show where the. chairs turn around. What is that? Oh,

you're like. >> the voice. >> Yeah, you're like the voice for uh for. disabilities and stuff. People like, "Hey, this. >> I'm not pushing my button." [laughter]. >> Oh, Autistic Barbie. That [ __ ] ain't. getting [ __ ]. >> No. I'm like, I put headphones on her. Cool. >> But those aren't headphones. I think. those are just noiseancelling ear muffs. >> Oh, >> yeah. >> Yeah. >> I think I think those are just those. things that help autistic people kind of. operate. They used to do ear muffs and. now they kind of made them fancy or.

something. >> Yeah. Made them fashion. Mattel is introducing an autistic Barbie. as the newest member of its line. intended to celebrate diversity. developed in partnership with a. nonprofit organization that advocates. for the rights and better media. representation of people with autism. >> I think. I find that kind of weird though cuz. autism isn't visible generally. It's. like how you it's how you function and. it's a Barbie. So, couldn't any Barbie.

be autistic? >> First of all, I've met a lot of Barbies. in the world, and these [ __ ] are. missing something. >> That's true. >> Okay, a lot of these [ __ ] are picking. up odd signals, you know, a lot of times. from like a Hermes or something. They're. like, "Oh, I just got a update from an. Hermes somewhere or something," which is. like a fancy shop. >> Okay. >> Yeah, [laughter]. >> I show up on Amazon. I'm sorry. >> Yeah, sorry. Yeah, that was maybe a bad. reference. Um, >> why is she Hispanic looking?

>> And is there Hispanic autism? >> Look it up. Who's got the most autism? [laughter]. >> Feels like a white people sport. >> Yeah. Well, white people will create any. new sport to try and like like keep away. from having to compete against black. folks, I think. >> Yeah. Anything we can do. >> Yeah. It's like, oh, >> my disease is only white people. Your disease is only white people.

>> Let's go. Huh? I like that [ __ ]. [laughter]. And we barely landed that fist bump. Uh. but but let's go. >> Oh, it doesn't matter. >> Yeah, [laughter]. dude. Yeah. Oh, sorry, Barbie. [laughter]. >> Yeah, they should have they should, Dude, you should have a Barbie. That'd. be so great. Fiona Barbie. Based on the. most recent data from the Centers for. Disease Control and Prevention, published in April 2025, AsianPacific. Islander children and American Indian. Alaskan native children had the highest.

reported prevalence of autism. So. Asians, but they were going to have it, dude. You can like a lot of Asians that. I knew and that have been known over the. years by people. It seems like a lot more is going on. inside than outside. And I feel like if you get you put too. much traffic on those inner streets, you're going to end up bumper to bumper. in there. And that's I feel like where. autism really shows up. And that's not a. scientific definition of autism.

But a lot of Asian people, you just want. to go up to them and be like, "What are. you doing in there?" You know, [laughter]. especially in my generation because they. were very quiet. >> You would rarely get a word out of an. out of a um Asian guy. >> How many Asian people did you know. growing up? We had one. We didn't have. Well, we almost had one. We had. [laughter]. Yeah, dude. There was a rumor that there. was an Asian guy. Well, here's what. happened. There was a rumor that there. was an Asian guy in this town near near. us called Slideel, Louisiana, and it was.

like 17 miles away. So, me and my buddy. Scotty and some other guys, we cut grass. for like 3 weeks and saved up money to. go see this guy, right? >> Because, dude, >> we don't know when we're getting. >> Yeah. We don't know when we're getting. another one, dude. And so we get over. there and here's what had happened. A. Pizza Hut, remember they had those. unique rooftops? >> Mhm. >> Had burned down to the ground. And people had started saying that an. Asian person was living in there. It was. like just a myth or whatever. Bring up. that pizza roof. Bring up pizza. Pizza.

Hut red roof. That one. So imagine that. completely down on the ground. Now imagine you don't know a lot of. information. >> Okay. Now imagine somebody tells you. there's an Asian living in there. [laughter]. >> You got me. I'm with you. >> And that's what happened. That word. traveled to us and we went over there. and all it was was a burnt down Pizza. Hut. >> But that's something that happened. It's. like you never know what can happen if. there's fire, if there's foul play.

>> What did you think was going to happen. if you found an Asian person in the hut? >> We didn't know there would be a hut. We. thought it would be like a place of. living. We thought it would be a. I don't know, a lean to whatever. We had. no idea what an Asian lives in or. whatever, an egg. You know what I'm. saying? We had no idea of what it could. be. We just knew if we get there, we'll. see him. And uh. and we didn't. Fool's gold [laughter] or.

fool's yellow. >> Oh my. >> So, and that that's too much. That's too. much. >> I love that. Um, but dude, I wonder what. the bar the Barbies like I wonder if the. Barbies are lowkey like the Simpsons. where over the years they've slowly been. predicting the future like cuz they had. like. >> they definitely have wheelchair Barbie. >> They did. >> Yeah, everyone sends me that. But I want. >> Everyone sends you that? >> Yeah. >> And what do they say? Do you want this.

for Christmas or whatever? [laughter]. >> That's crazy. I mean, it's been going on. since before I was a comedian. Like. random people would send me. >> just. >> thinking of you or something. >> Yeah. I'm like, "Thank you. Thank you." My hands don't work. I can't. look at my Oh, they have Down syndrome, Barbie. >> Oh, that's cool. >> Interesting. >> I guess you could.

I mean, look at the I mean, Look at the group up there. And the. black girl does her hair like that to. keep it out of the wheels or whatever. It's like [laughter]. what? What are we? This is great, right? It's great stuff, but some of this stuff. I just wonder are they I guess it's just. all about inclusion. There are a lot of. people that are facing different um like. disabilities or or handicaps. Do you say. handicaps? What do what do you what do. you what's kind of the preference? You. know, >> I actually recently learned it's it's.

person by person. All people feel. different, but for me, I prefer like. disability disabled. I think handicap is. like a hand like a thing like a handicap. parking spot or stall, you know? >> Yeah. Handicap placard like that thing. that people hang. >> like it's like an item behind a person. with a disability. >> Do you use handicap parking? >> Yeah. >> [ __ ] yeah. >> Yeah, it's worth it. [laughter].

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codeo at checkout. That's 20% off your. first order with code theo at. liquidivv.com. What are some of the uh things that. people don't realize? And I'm sorry if. some of this is just like general. questions you probably get all the time. Um, what are some things that people. don't realize about dealing with a. disability or having an affliction that. um that people kind of take for granted. that's like super easy? And then what. are some things that are kind of nice.

about it? >> Cuz I was at a parade not long ago and I. was. >> and this is [ __ ] up and I was like, "God, I I if I were in a wheelchair, I. could sit down right now." [laughter]. And I totally thought of that cuz I've. been standing for like four hours and I. was like h and my friend lost his dog at. a parade and dude this is the worst. thing. He lost it and it ran in like a. gay section of the parade, right? Like. along the parade route. So we're walking. up and I'm like, "Oh man, like I love. gay people, you know, but I love them at.

a um you know, I don't want to be in. there loving or whatever. End up getting. cooked out or whatever." So, but when. that talk ran in there, I'm like, "Dude, we cannot go." Like most of the people. were shirtless and just like be like. everybody's on ecstasy, right? [laughter]. And I'm with my buddy and he's like, "Dude, we have to [ __ ] find him.". He's like, "He's [ __ ] lost in here.". And his dog's name, this is the worst. part, his name Benjamin, right? >> So, we're he's like is Benjamin. He's. just yelling Benjamin in this gay rave, dude. And my buddy's kind of like a.

handsome guy, dude. >> And he's like whistling. [laughter]. Benjamin. [laughter]. >> and even sometimes even just the men. part. Some people wouldn't turn at the. binga but at the men they would just. flip around. >> Oh that was a nightmare bro. And he lost. his dog for like a week and then. somebody brought it back. >> Oh my god. >> The dog came back gay. [laughter].

The dog's like he h like he hit his. bone. He hit like half of it poking out. of his butt. [laughter]. >> He's like, "You'll never guess where I. hid that thing." [laughter]. >> That's very funny. >> Dogs can absolutely so show samesex. sexual and bonding behaviors, but. scientists are cautious about calling. that being gay in the human identity. scene. I think that makes sense. Some dogs will mildly hump another dog, but it's almost just like two guys at.

the gym that keep high-fiving or because. they don't know how to express. themselves verbally. >> Yeah, >> that's kind of how I look at that. >> Yeah, I thought it was just a dominance. thing. >> The sex part, >> the humping. >> I could see that cuz I guess it's. dominant between male and female. It's. like a man will like at one point. >> men hate when you hump them. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I'll tell you what. [laughter]. >> What? Um Oh, you can have Celsius.

>> Oh, hell yeah. >> But does that make like Have you ever. had so much you're just like I'm out of. here. [laughter]. >> I like Kool-Aid Man myself, too. [laughter]. >> Sorry. She said, "I like Kool-Aid Man. myself out of [laughter] the room. They're great." Or whatever. Why did all. those cartoons just break down walls and.

furniture? That was [ __ ] [laughter]. crazy. >> I don't know. [ __ ] Handyman watching that like, "Not again." [laughter]. >> Dude, the guy's had one cup of Kool-Aid. and he just ruined mom's kitchen. >> What is in this? >> Oh man. What were some of the first. signs whenever like your um whenever. Friedri's attacks you came along? What. were some of the the early signs and did. you misplace it for something else? >> Oh, this is good. So, when I was.

15, it started I started walking weird. I was a volleyball player and I couldn't. do like the practices. We would do. suicides, you know what I mean? >> Yeah. And I would start like falling a. little bit, just getting clumsy. My. coach was like, "You're, you know, not. taking this seriously." Thought I was. high. >> Did they bench you? >> Yeah. And so I. >> Which is where [clears throat] you were.

going to end up anyway. [laughter] Which. is. >> They were just getting me prepared for. my future. They were like, "Sit down. You should be real good at this.". [laughter]. >> [gasps]. >> Oh man, that's so good. >> And did your parents pick up on it. pretty quick? I mean, how did that kind. of go? >> It's going to make you so mad. >> It is. >> Yeah. Maybe. I mean, >> why were your parents drinking and. stuff? Were they having a tough time? >> Oh, well, yeah. Yeah. Um, [laughter].

um, but no, so 15 I was like, "Something's wrong." My principal was. like smelling my breath cuz she thought. I was drunk cuz I would spill. everything, drop everything or talk to. her. I get it. >> And the red hair, too, probably. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's like number one. indicator. >> Yeah. You're St. Patrick's daughter in. here. >> Something was wrong. Yeah. And then. uh I went to my mom and I was like, I.

think I need to go to the doctor. I. don't know what, but something. And my. older sister had health issues that. weren't this, but like different stuff. And so my mom. was like, >> like acne or whatever. >> Well, yeah, but like scoliosis and. stuff. >> Oh, god. I'm sorry. >> Yeah. Wow. I'm [laughter] just. >> And that's so dude. And I'm I'm very. sorry. God. And that shows what like. that shows what like somebody who.

doesn't have to deal with a common. ailment thinks of as like issues. >> I agree. Yeah, that's actually so real. >> Um, no, I love it. Um, but she was like, "You're copying your sister." Cuz my. sister walked weird, but we blamed it on. other stuff. And I had nothing wrong. with me. And then, uh, I kind of got in. trouble for faking it by my family a lot. and yada yada. Then once I turned 18, it.

was my senior year of high school. >> So you had to go that long dealing with. it. >> And would it always be there or was just. is it just kind of every now and then? >> It was getting worse. Yeah, it was. always all the time. I didn't know why. Like I used to get in trouble cuz I. would there was like an elevator in the. school to for like people that broke. their legs or whatever and I would use. it and I got detention all the time cuz. I would fall down the stairs all the.

time and I didn't know why. >> Oh my [laughter] god. Sorry I'm not laughing. There's. something wrong with my face and voice. box. [laughter]. >> Oh, that's insane. And did you were was part. of you still unsure too because I'm sure. if a lot of your surroundings are like. no you're just not figuring this out. correctly. Was part of you still kind of. unsure too? Like. >> well I my I was gas lit like crazy. I. fully thought I had a mental issue and I. was making this all up.

>> Like I I really I just wanted an answer. I fully believed it was something I. could get fixed before I went to. college. Like I did not think it would. be this serious. >> Yeah. >> So at 18 I went I took myself to a. neurologist. I eventually ended up at a. neurologist, but I had to involve my mom. in that. And she was like fine, but like. this has to be the end of the road for. the like they were so sick of me being.

like something's wrong, you know? And. then I was right. And then they were. like, "Oh my god, what's wrong with your. sister?" They got her tested. Same [ __ ]. And my little brother a year and a half. ago got tested and he has it too, but he. can still walk. So. >> So you cracked the code. Really? >> Yeah. I ruined our family. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> It's another way of saying that. Yeah. >> Yeah. If you never figure it out, you're. just a bunch of people who like.

>> You're just a bunch of weeble wobble. [laughter]. >> Yeah, dude. You're just a bunch of. people who just break out of the. electric slide every now and then. [laughter]. That's insane, dude. You're just doing. the Cupid shuffle. Your mom's like, "Stop Cupid shuffling." [laughter]. >> Wow. And so, was that like was that. almost uh was that like a real. breakthrough moment for your family? Like, oh my god, this is what's been. going on. And for your sisters as well? >> Um, yeah. My mom felt so bad.

>> Oh, >> like cried and you know cuz she had been. telling me I was wrong and I was just. excited to be right so I didn't even. like hear or I was 18. I didn't get the. seriousness of it and I was like [ __ ]. you. [ __ ] you. [ __ ] you. You know like. I'm celebrating. >> that she was wrong and I was right. >> Oh yeah. Like get [ __ ] I'm a fake. [laughter]. Yeah. Yeah. >> I'm a vape.

>> And did Yeah, dude. Did they think was. that ever part of it? Like, oh, you're. just vaping too much or whatever cuz. >> they Yeah, I smoked a lot of weed in. high school, too. I partied a lot. >> And then I got diagnosed and I partied. even more. I was like, what's the point. of all this? >> Oh, did you go through a point where you. were like depressed about life and. stuff? >> For six, seven years. >> No way. >> Yeah. Oh, >> it was hard to like find a reason. I was. like, why am I in college now? Like, I.

don't have a future, >> right? Like, I'm not going to be a. farmer, like a [laughter] um. >> pharmacist. But but. >> but I guess you could still think I. mean, do you think looking back on that. that there was different ways you could. have gone with that thought process or. just kind of that's just where you were? Cuz I it's tough for somebody just. imagine what they would be like in that. scenario. >> I think, >> man, I'm sorry you had to go through. that. That's hectic. >> Hey, it builds character if you make it. out, you know. Um, and I'm grateful for.

that. I wouldn't be who I am today. I. have more perspective now than I think. most 29year-olds do, probably. I don't. know. I think it's important when you're. given something that's serious and kind. of lifealtering to like allow yourself. to mourn. because I'm mourning what I. thought I had, [clears throat] right? And I'm trying to like get accustomed to. what I know I'm going to have or not.

have in the future, you know? And. humans, we are we adapt. I'm fine. People feel bad for me and I'm like, you. bought tickets to my show. I'm I'm doing. all right, you know? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I'm happy. >> Yeah. I've never felt bad for you. I. mean, I guess Yeah. I guess some people. probably could get in a space where they. feel bad. I feel bad that you felt that. way. I feel bad. That's such a. >> that's heart that's heart-wrenching for. somebody to I think have something that.

occurs in their life and then feel like. maybe when you look back on that feeling. are you able to think like did you did. you feel like you didn't have like a lot. of hope or did you feel like was it like. woe is me and all those things are. normal I I could imagine would be very. normal to feel. >> Yeah. Um I think hope cuz before that I was. pretty religious for a while. I really I. believe in God and all not religious but. I was like spiritual. I believe in a. higher power and then that happened and.

it kind of took the air out of all of it. for me and I was like. what do I do? You know I haven't even. had time to like get the karma for this. kind of information. And you know, I'm sorry, what was the question? I feel. like I forgot where I was going. >> I think just thinking about like what. it's like like to have like a prognosis. like that and then to think about like. or yeah, what it's like to have. something come into your life that's big.

and that affects you in such a way. Um, and then to look back and think like um, yeah, what was I thinking at that. moment? Was I like depressed? >> Uh, was I um hopeless? or did I doubt. hope? Um, I thought it was interesting. that you said like we mourn things. Uh, I know that's something that I don't do. well these days in my life is um take. time to mourn things. Like even if it's. just kind of like um something heavy. happens, you know, it's like I'll just.

get back on my phone or I'll find. something to distract me. >> Yeah. >> And when I'm distracting myself, even. just my eyes and my my my uh focus, I'm. distracting my ability to process. through through through some of those. things, you know. Um, but yeah, to mourn. something is like that. It's almost like. driving by an old house or something. >> or driving by a place you used to live. at or like even a snake when he sheds. his skin. I bet he probably looks back. at least once and is like, >> "Damn, I used to be that.". >> There's the old Buick. >> That was cool. [laughter]. >> Just like that.

So, old wheelchairs that don't work. anymore. [laughter]. >> It's like Yeah. He looks back, he's. like, "Oh, I can't believe I used to. wear Sketchers." And [laughter]. He just keeps moving along. >> Those were the days [laughter]. >> when when you would have uh and are we. talking too much about um your your. ailment stuff? >> I don't care. >> Okay. Um because I think it's. fascinating to me. I know that you had a. series that was called uh or that has a.

series on YouTube and it's called. Capable. >> Yeah. >> Right. How have you been able to grab. comedy out of uh out of some of these. different moments and and things that. you see? cuz you probably have such a. unique perspective on the world that. that's probably something that's. honestly kind of amazing is like your. perspective on society and the way that. we operate has got to be super. interesting. >> It it is weird. That's funny. I did. capable before comedy. and so like writing that and like it.

wasn't even writing it. I just be like. this happened the other day. I want to. reenact it. Like all of it's true. Like. in my comedy it's all true too. Like I. don't have to make stuff up. But like. it's hard cuz you don't want all your. jokes to be like wheelchair wheelchair. But it's like. I experience everything from this. vantage point. You know, you talk about. like I walked into the room. Stop.

talking about walking. >> Yeah. [laughter]. Yeah. You're right. No, you're right. Well, I think it's also it is a. fascinating vantage point though because. it's a vantage point that a lot of. people don't get that a lot of people. don't experience or probably till they. get older. >> Um or certain or or some most people. probably don't. >> Um. >> yeah. Has there ever been like an Uber. that like they see you and they kind of. shake you off like a pitcher like a like. a pitcher that gets like a pitch called. in from the catcher or whatever and you. just kind of like. >> we're not doing that. >> I I've had so many Uber drivers now.

I'll like hide and have my able body. friends go to the car and open the door. and they'll be like, "Hi.". [laughter]. [gasps] Cuz they'll just drive off. That. happens so much. One time I had Oh, wait. This is crazy. I forgot about this. >> Okay. >> Um, okay. There used to be a show or maybe. still exists called Stone Cold Sober.

And it's like teams of three comics. against each other. Um, and one of you. is drunk, one stone, one sober. Right. So, I'm on that show and it's like four. years ago. >> And which one are you on it? >> I'm the drunk one. >> Okay. >> Okay. I'm pretty good at that. And um, [laughter]. but because I knew I was drinking and. they don't give you free drinks, so I. drank at my house before I Ubered there. Um, I get a lady Uber driver.

Her trunk is full. So, we have to put my. chair in her back seat. My neighbor. asked to come do it cuz she won't do it. She's like whacked out. >> She's an autistic Barbie. That's what we. call it. [laughter]. >> Worse. So much worse. She uh I don't. know. She was like on drugs I could not. recognize kind of thing. >> Oh, that's always kind of fun. >> Yeah. I'm like trying to Google a smell. It's real hard.

>> You're like googling bath salts and. [laughter] like. >> I'm like. >> looking holding JPEGs up to [laughter]. >> um so I had to send the passenger. frenzy. She's crazy. Car smells weird. She's swerving. It's not good. And I'm. like stressed out and she's ranting. I'm. kind of just like pushed up against the. side of the car trying to ignore it. >> What? What? Something was wrong with her. vagina. You think? >> She was talking about how Jesus sent her.

to Nashville from California to save all. of us from the liberals. >> Yeah. So thankful for her. [laughter]. >> No, I'm glad she's here. >> Yeah. I'm glad I'm glad. Uh [ __ ]. Christopher Columbus. I'm I'm glad. Yeah. [ __ ] I was going to try to make a. joke, but my brain doesn't work good. anymore. Anyway, >> I'm reving up on you. It's not good, [laughter].

>> dude. If I catch this, I'll be so bad. [laughter]. >> Oh, no. Take us through take us through. the story, though, because that is. unbelievable. When you get in a thing, you're like, "Oh my god." Now I'm at the. whims of If this lady sees one person. dressed up in a Civil War outfit, she's. going to she's going to hit [laughter]. him with a vehicle, you know? >> [gasps]. >> Um, and okay, so she's ranting about. this. She's swerving. I mean, we're. still in my neighborhood and she's. almost hitting parked cars. I'm like,

"Hey girl, please look at the road." You. know, she's yelling at me. >> You're trying to use female associative. terms. >> Hey girlfriend, [laughter]. >> what you doing? >> Hey Queen, there's a car. Hey, queen. Red light. [laughter]. No. And she's talking about how the. liberals are trying to take her guns. >> Oh, yeah. >> Okay. >> Well, that could be true. But yeah, but. not the time to discuss. >> Everyone's trying to take your guns,

though. I don't think it's. >> Oh, that's true. I agree. That's a great. point. >> Yeah, >> that's a great point. Everybody's trying. to take it these days. Um, but then I'm. not I'm literally just like, you know, and we're on the interstate and she is. ranting about the gun thing, opens the. glove box in front of me, pulls the gun. out. [laughter]. [snorts]. >> Sorry, this is so. >> And again, remember, I am drunk. I'm. drunk. And this woman [laughter].

swerving. >> She's like a LeAngelo Ball fan or. something. She's like, >> but like she's not like threatening to. shoot me. It's more like see I they. can't take it. Like making a point, >> right? They'll never find it here, >> right? >> In this glove box, which is probably. just an extension of her puss, >> right? She pulled out. [laughter]. No. And then uh I'm like not looking at. her cuz I'm crying a little bit, you.

know, just girl stuff. [laughter]. >> Yeah. And she's like, "Oh, are you on. your period?" You're like, "No, I'm not. on my period. [laughter] There's an. insane.". >> She was like, "Oh my god, we're synced. up.". >> I know. She's like, "11, make a wish.". [laughter]. >> She's like, >> "Did you wish for more ovulation in your. life?" Okay, >> this is getting insane. >> Oh [ __ ] Sorry, I'm being such a. Scorpio.

[laughter]. Oh man, but I'm not I'm not looking at. her cuz I don't want her to say I'm. panicking. And so she pokes me in the. arm with the. >> No. Oh my god. [laughter] That's. probably Did she know that you couldn't. feel it if she poked you in the legs? She wanted to make sure I could. [laughter]. >> She wanted to make sure you could feel. it. >> And then [laughter].

so I'm like I'm like. >> what is happening? >> I haven't told that story in so long. >> Do you tell this on stage? >> No, I told on stage once. >> You've got to tell this on stage. This. is one of the best stories ever to me. But go on. Sorry. >> Oh my god. Okay, so I'm panicking. She's. got the gun. I'm just And she's still. driving. >> Yes. And she's just kind of waving. around. Hey, look at me. Hey. Yeah. Again, not threatening to shoot me. Just.

>> Right. Just saying. Got it. >> Got it. Yeah. Yeah. >> That mommy's strapped and she got that. Draco on her. [laughter]. And are you And what are y'all listening. to? >> It's quiet. >> Oh, yes. >> Yeah. I'm just listening to her rant. I. hadn't even thought about that. It was. totally quiet. That's the best when. people play too much music or and this. is an all call that this is from me and. this just my thoughts. These are my. thoughts. If you're an Uber driver or. somebody that works in like uh operating.

like trans uh what transportation, that. sort of thing. If you keep that thing on. that's like right turn in 7 seconds that. I will never tip somebody if they have. that on. Turn that thing off. >> Have just at least just look at the. drawing. The worst is when they ask what. music you want to just do. Turn it on. and then that interrupts every 20. seconds and you're like. >> the music does. >> No, the. >> Oh, they interrupted talk. >> The sound. >> Oh, yeah. It's all Anyway, I ruined your.

story. Let's go. So, you guys are. rolling together. >> So, I'm I'm trying to be chill cuz I. don't want to freak her out. Yeah. You. know, >> for sure. >> She has a gun. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. She has a gun and she's driving. you somewhere. Yeah. You don't want to. freak out your uh captor. [laughter]. >> I guess that's exactly what you So I'm. There's like a group text. for the show I'm headed to. And so I'm.

like I'm scared as anyone at the venue. My Uber driver has a gun. I'm like live. texting. All the gods are like sorry not. there. I don't think anyone believed me. >> Yeah. And then there was one girl in the. group text that I didn't know at the. time and she was like, "Oh my god, I'm. hurrying to the venue. I'll try to meet. you there." And I was like, "Please, please, please, we're 3 minutes away, 2. minutes, you know.". >> Oh. >> I get there and no one's there. Um I am.

so panicked. And again, my wheelchair is. in the back seat and I'm wearing shoes. like these with heels. I. >> I didn't mean to make that sound. I. meant Yes, those are nice. [clears throat]. [laughter]. Sorry, that was insane. Your husband's. in here and I I think I My body just. didn't know what sound to do. Those are. nice. Carry [laughter and gasps] on. Here. Go. >> Thank you so much. So, >> my body didn't know. [laughter].

>> Well, I think it just picked the wrong. sound. I It's been a tough It's been a. tough year. Okay. >> It's only January. >> I know. I'm like, damn. Damn. >> [laughter]. >> Okay. Okay. Tell us what happened. >> So, we pull up. No one's there. I'm. freaking out. [laughter]. >> Nobody's there. So, now she thinks, "Oh, this [ __ ] got me running around in. circles around here.". >> I swear. [laughter]. I'm so full of adrenaline. I jump out of. the car and pull my own wheelchair out.

>> Wow. >> So, like gun to my head, I can walk. >> You can make it happen. >> Yeah. [sighs]. Gosh, that's a lot. >> That's crazy. You pulled that Draco out. that glove box. >> Yeah, like really insane. That scared. me. So, that night got weirder though. >> You have weirder stories that. >> same night. >> Nuh-uh. Well, >> do you want to go there?

>> Carry on. >> Okay. So, I I do I show up at the venue. I'm like hyperventilating, crying, you. know, like I'm inside. I'm safe, but I'm. panicking. It. >> was very scary. >> Yeah. And everyone's like, "Oh my god.". And I go to the bar cuz that sobered me. up and I'm I don't know. I was like, "I'm going to get drunk. I don't know. what's happening.". >> Yeah. I don't know what else to do. I'm. a human, >> right? I'm freaking out. I'm alone. I. was single at the time, so I didn't like.

have anyone to be like, "Please come get. me," you know? >> And so I go to the bar at Third Ghost. and this married couple who I had met at. the airport in Las Vegas a couple months. back were there cuz they I'd posted. online. >> Oh, and they came to the show. Oh, that's pretty cool. >> And they were like I told them cuz they. were the only ones I knew kind of. And. they were like, "Oh my god, they're. buying me a bunch of drinks." So I do.

this show. Um, I bomb. [laughter]. And I. >> Well, yeah. You had You had freaking. Stockholm syndrome. [laughter]. >> What do you mean you bombed? You were. basically the Elizabeth Smart of comedy. that night. Like, >> you didn't bomb. You did your best. I. feel like after a after being held. hostage. And what kind of car was it? Do. you remember? >> Oh, [ __ ] That like a Nissan Ultima. >> Oh, dude. [laughter]. Nissan Ultimas. People have given birth.

in those more than any other vehicle in. the past 10 years in this country. >> Was given death then. Well, [laughter]. >> white one. Yep. >> That is the purgatory of existence, dude. If you're in a Nissan Ultima, things are headed. >> Yeah. >> up or down. >> You're not doing great. >> You're at a You're at a uh confluence in. your life. [laughter] You're at a You're. at a fork in the road. You're at a fork. in the road, dude. >> Oh my god.

>> Okay. So, a couple's buying you shots. They're from Vegas. >> So, I do the show afterwards cuz I had. told them about that. I was scared to. Uber, you [snorts] know. And so, they were. like, "We'll drive you home." And I was. like, "Okay, thank you." And I they get. me in their car, but you know, and they. go, "Hey, before we take you home, we. want you to come to this bar with us. first." And I was like, "Okay." And so.

we go to some bar. I'm pretty drunk. Okay. And I get carried upstairs to a. VIP area by some security guy. [laughter]. >> It It sounds almost like Cinderella. Oh, Rapunzel. >> Yeah, >> all of them. >> Well, you might have to repel down, too. So, who knows? >> Repel is just falling for me. [laughter]. Bill's a nice way to No. And then I.

don't know. I'm just sitting in my. wheelchair, not approaching anyone, just. kind of drinking like quietly. I'm. freaked out. Everyone, it's a private. party. I don't know who anyone is. They. all have face tattoos. Like it looked. like a biker gang maybe. Like I didn't. care though. Like. >> it might have been Jelly Roll doing one. of those booty boot camp classes or. whatever. [laughter]. >> He does some of those halfway house. booty boot camp classes. I think.

>> but go on. Sorry, I'm ruining your. story. >> No. Um and uh you know someone's just. giving me a new drink every time mine's. gone. It's the Kennedy treatment, you. know. Yeah, the Kennedy treatment. [laughter]. >> And uh and uh I I realized there's one. guy everyone's like trying to talk to. So I'm like, it must be his party, you. know? And he comes up to me at like 2:00. a.m. and he's like, "Hey, we're having.

an afterparty at my uh like apartment or. whatever. If you want to come, what's. your name?" I was like, "I'm Fiona. What's yours?" And he was like, "You can. call me Michael." And I was like, "Okay." And so Michael. >> biblical name. [clears throat]. >> Good sign. Michael has his. >> Michael Myers. Was he wearing a mask? [laughter]. Is that Michael Myers? Yeah. Hell.

[clears throat] yeah. I get stuff. [laughter]. He car he has the security carry me down. and we're all it's like his posy and me. and Michael I'm he goes on Instagram. story I'm in the video and the married. couple's being weird to me and the wife. keeps trying to like get on my lap but. Michael didn't like that and so we had a. security uh kick them out and so we get. to his apartment the uh elevator opens.

to his apartment. >> Oo, that's. >> money. I've I had never seen that kind. of money. >> That's rich. >> There was like motorcycles inside. It's. huge. And he has like a chef and a. bartender. >> Is it Michael Strahan? >> Mm. >> Huh. >> And carry on. >> So I'm in there. >> Have two more guesses. [laughter]. >> I'm in there. I'm in there. And there is. one guy that was at the third Ghost show. that was tagging along for some reason.

And he was like a ballerina literally. >> He's a cook it sounds like. [laughter]. But let's go on. Sorry. I know your. husband's in here. Let's hope. everybody's with God. >> He's a ballerina. He's a male ballerina. >> Oh yeah. I used to live with a guy. He. wasn't a ballerina. What was he like one. of those frozen baller? He was an ice. skater. >> A frozen. [laughter]. >> He was [ __ ] This dude was a mixed dude. too. And. >> this guy was Mexican. >> This your guy was Mexican. >> Yeah. >> My guy was mixed. Black and white. Okay. >> Or black and some or white and. something. Okay.

>> And uh yeah, but he would every now and. then he would have a couple drinks and. he would take us outside. He never. wanted us to see his craft or whatever. That's what he would say all the times. We wouldn't invite us to any of his um. performances or whatever, but uh every. now and then he'd get drunk and he'd. take us outside and he would jump. sideways over a car and it was pretty. amazing to watch him do it. Anyway, carry on. That's just some mix guy. [laughter]. >> that that I shared an apartment with for. a month. Let's go. >> Sorry. Let's go. [laughter].

>> I'm I'm enjoying the story. So, you're. there. It's nice. There's like fancy. stuff, outdoor stuff that should be. inside. That's when somebody's rich. When they have like a car in the living. room or they have motorcycles. >> I'm like, how'd this get up here? When. they make you think about it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Um, and all the girls, they're. very good looking gang. I was like, why. the [ __ ] am I here? Like blonde, big. fake boobs, like everyone beautiful. covered in tattoos. And this is in. Nashville. >> Uhhuh. >> Wow.

>> And I'm like, I still don't know where I. am. And Michael's feeding me drinks, too. But he was like, "Are you hungry?". And he had someone make me pasta and. pizza. And there's like a video of him. feeding it to me. >> Really? >> And then he put his uh number in my. phone and then I had the ballerina drive. me home. >> Wow. And then the next morning, I wake. up to like 60 missed phone calls from my. friends being like, "Are you alive?".

Because apparently I was all over this. guy's Instagram story and stuff. Do you. know who uh Yellow Wolf is? >> It was him. >> Really? >> Yeah. He like saved me that night. >> He saved you from the uh swingers. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh, that was sweet of him. and he like. made sure I was okay. He was very nice. I have not seen him since then. >> Wow. I saw him. We hung out one night in.

Los Angeles. I got to check in with him. I haven't. talked to him in a while. We kind of I. think he I think he lives in Nashville. or he did. >> Yeah. Time. >> He has some great songs over the years. Yeah, dude. We used to jam his [ __ ]. heavy. >> [snorts]. >> We used to definitely oh dude being. white and being like [ __ ] them and then. just replace just who anybody could be. them you know.

>> dude we would [ __ ] listen to his [ __ ]. a lot dude mostly was against like rich. people or whatever. Yeah, [ __ ] them. >> Yeah, I never was it I never really like. the rich really, >> you know, cuz we had a ditch in our. yard, right? And uh it wasn't our yard. or whatever. I think the government. owned it. Somebody owned it, whatever. We didn't. But um in our neighborhood, people would burn trash. That's how they. got rid of trash, you know. So people. just burn trash in the ditch. >> because a lot of times people would. forget to get it out to the curb or. sometimes people didn't have the cans or. whatever, you know. cuz we would just.

always be burning trash in the ditch and. we'd be running and jumping through the. soot all the time, right? So we'd So. from 50 ft away, we look like of young. African-American children, you know, or. blacks. >> Yeah. >> Um and anyway, that's not even part of. the story. That's just something that. happened a lot. But what happened was. rich people, there was a rich guy who. was a veterinarian or whatever, and he. would drive through our neighborhood and. he would take like dead animals and. stuff out of the trunk and he would. throw their bodies out into our like.

ditch and like just like getting rid of. them on the way to like some other rich. area or whatever, you know, >> cuz our our our street was like a pass. through between a couple rich areas kind. of. And so they would just try that like. so it always made me angry at rich. people because. >> of dead animals. >> dogs things that had died I think of. just that had been put. >> dogs. >> sorry that's the worst one to say. >> oh my god. >> [ __ ] dude I could have said any other. one and hold on he wasn't he wasn't like.

some dog or whatever like or like a. dexter I mean sorry but he he [laughter]. wasn't he was a euthan he was a. veterinarian and I think he was having. to put these animals to sleep and some. of them they would dispose of. You know, this wasn't a time when people would. keep their dogs. This was a time when a. lot of dogs weren't in inside. >> I feel like you're lying to me like I'm. a little kid cuz you're like, "No, no, no. They're they're at the farm.". [laughter]. >> Oh, no. Yeah, they're safe. >> They're all alive now. Actually, it's. >> they're in a special area.

>> But he would get rid of some of the. carcasses and stuff in our neighborhood. And I think when I was a kid, that was. like a rich guy cuz it was a nice car. So I think I associated like, oh, rich. people are like that. Like they just. throw out the junk for poor people to. deal with, you know, and we're out here. [ __ ] and then we end up throwing. bones at each other and [ __ ] after it. would like decay or whatever. >> So it's so gross. >> Well, we didn't know. We didn't we. didn't have it. Nobody in our. neighborhood had a dog. We didn't have a. dog. We had like a couple of dangerous. dogs that would travel around the.

neighborhood and attack people for no. reason. >> So you like dogs? >> Well, we didn't have any like semblance. of them. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. None of my friends had dogs. had a. dangerous Doberman. No, [laughter] dude. >> Nobody I knew had a cat growing up. There were some cats that lived outside. >> and were up to very bad things. [laughter] Okay. And obviously work for. the Satan. >> Okay. >> There's no denying that they work for. the Satan. And um yeah, so yeah, people. were not, [laughter].

>> nobody was anti-anamealia in our area, but that wasn't something that people. had uh on a regular basis. I remember. the first time I went to my friend's. house and they had an indoor dog and it. was a golden retriever, which first of. all, how nice that you have so much gold you. can have an animal just go get some of. it for you. [laughter]. Like that blew my mind. When they told. me what it was, I was like, "This is. unbelievable." [laughter]. >> Like, we can't even go in our apartment.

two days a week because some of the gas. issues. And these people have an animal. that will just run off and grab a. mouthful of bullion whenever you need. it. And I remember seeing it's just long, beautiful hair. And it looked like a. beautiful woman to me. I remember like. that thing is beautiful. It was better. looking than most of the women in our. area. [laughter]. It looked like Suzanne Summers. Bring up. Suzanne Summers. Let's get a gander at. her. >> This is one of the funniest times I've. had on a podcast in probably two years.

Don't you think, Trevan? >> This is great. >> Wow. >> Thank you so much. >> Oh my god. I'm having a blast. >> That's her when she came in right there. That when I saw that gold retriever for. sure, >> that was her. She was like the icon. >> Threw some teal earrings on that dog. >> Put some teal earrings. Is that what you. said? >> Yeah. [laughter]. Oh, dude. Yeah, >> that's perfect. That thing could have. worked. Volunteered to work in the. nurse's office at our school. [laughter].

>> I would have been so happy. >> Mean to you for being a little late to. class. >> I was burders, man. >> Let's go into a news section. I'm going. to take a break for one second. Do you. have to pee or anything? >> No, I'm good. >> Is pornography causing a problem in your. life? Do you find yourself watching. porno for longer periods of time and. having trouble stopping? Is porn affecting your relationship or. dating life? [snorts] Well, you're. certainly not alone. Watching.

pornography has become so commonplace. today, and oftentimes men use porn to. numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety, and depression. Shame and stigma prevent men from. talking about these issues and getting. help for them. I want to introduce you. to my friend Steve. Steve is the founder. of Valor Recovery, a program to help men. overcome porn abuse and sexual. compulsivity. Steve is a long-term sexual recovery. member and has personally overcame the.

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more about Valor Recovery, please visit. them at www.valorreoverycoaching.com. valorreoverycoaching.com. or email them at admin. valorreoververycoaching.com. Thank you. >> Sometimes I mean I know a lot of people. that just like do research and like let. the morality of stuff go and I'm like. okay that can all be true but like.

imagine that was your sister brother or. whatever. Yeah. And we're talking about. the the Renee Good shooting. Let's put. the ICE shooting that happened. And this. is this is one clip of it. We'll show. this clip. I know there's different. angles of clips. I'm not going to get. into like a lot of the uh like angular. stuff, that sort of thing. But I do want. to cover this a little bit because we. haven't talked about it on here. >> That's fine. >> I'm not showing.

>> That's okay. We don't change our plates. every morning. Just so you know, it'll. be the same plate when you come talk to. us later. That's fine. US citizen, former. >> And this is a lady and her girlfriend. who are out and they're protesting these. ICE agents. Uh Reneo was involved with. an activist group called Minnesota Icew. Watch. Um acting as a legal observer, documenting what's going on, etc. Okay, play it up. >> I say go get yourself some lunch, big. boy. Go ahead.

>> Out of the car. Get out of the [ __ ]. car. >> Get out of the car. >> And then there's three shots and the. woman the woman's deceased, right? >> Yeah. >> Okay. I mean, this is just baffling. What are some of your first thoughts? Do. you even want to talk about this? I. mean, >> yeah. No, I think that's important. >> Um, >> well, okay. So, I. found out that. the defense I keep hearing for this ICE.

agent is that he 6 months ago or so was. dragged 200 feet or something by a. vehicle. And I'm like, that's he. shouldn't have been working. >> Yeah, >> that's PTSD. Um, it says the Immigration. and Customs Enforcement agent who shot. and killed 37y old Renee Nicole Good in. Minneapolis on Wednesday was dragged by. a car in the line of duty last summer. according to court records. So, there. was documentation that that happened to.

him. Ross needed more than 50 stitches. and had abrasions on his knee, elbow, and face according to court papers. So, obviously, he has PTSD in this. situation. I don't think there's any way. that you couldn't, >> right? >> Like, he's going to be trigger happy if. you're telling me he has trauma related. to vehicles. >> For sure. This is the last place that he. should be, >> right? >> My thoughts on I think nobody deserves. to lose their life in an instance like. this, right? Like the guy shouldn't have. shot the woman the he could have shot. the vehicle tires.

>> Yes. Or let the vehicle go and deal with. it later and find a way to deal with it. later on. >> Those are some of my first thoughts. I. have a couple of others. Um, you know, I. think as far as like the agitators go, which I think is what what's it's safe. to call them. Like at a certain point, you have to recognize that uh that. people are just people, right? So if you. if if someone's a doctor, they're. wearing a doctor's coat. If they're. wearing a police uniform, a fire. uniform, um a principal, uh they're just.

people. So they're still like flawed, right? There's still just a regular. person like you and I and we know we. know what it's like to be a person. It's. hectic and it's it's hectic more than. ever. I know you want to have an effect, but this just felt like. >> it's just there are so many other ways. to go about it. >> for sure. >> I doubt she had ever been face to face. with someone that had a gun like that.

cuz I don't I'd be scared, right? Oh, I'd be super scared. I'd be super. scared. A guy pull because if an officer. pulls his weapon out, they don't usually. pull it out unless they're going to use. it, >> right? >> Or unless they're probably they fear the. threat of death. I think that's supposed. to be why they pull it out. When is an. officer supposed to pull their weapon. out? Can you look that up for me, Trevan? That's kind of interesting. >> Cuz I feel like I watch a ton of police. body cam footage. They always pull out. their taser first.

>> Yeah. that. >> Oh, well, it I don't think anything. should have been pulled out here. It's. like I just don't know if if if this had. happened six other times down this. street where this woman is moving their. car and then blocking in front of them. You know what I'm saying? I'm not saying. anything justifies it. I'm just saying. at a certain point it's a bad idea to. mill around somebody that has a gun and. be doing anything. Like I'm the kind of. guy if when people show up with guns, >> I'm out. >> I'm out of the room. [laughter]. I'm out of the room. I'm out of the. house. If somebody like I'm at a party,

somebody's wants to show somebody a gun, I'm out of here. If I'm at a hunting. camp and somebody pulls out a gun, >> I'm out of here. >> I'm [laughter] out of here, dude. I'm. out of here. A police officer uh. reasonable belief of threat. The primary. justification is the officer's. reasonable belief that there is an. imminent danger of death or serious. physical injury to themselves or other. persons. From my from my look of view. and I've from the videos I've seen, it. seemed to me like he uh like he wasn't. going to get run over. >> Yeah. But when you factor in the fact.

that that had happened to him, I'm not. surprised that he would. >> he believed it was reasonable, >> that he would overreact. It's just a. it's a stupid situation that really felt. like it didn't have to happen. Um. >> well, also the scary part about that is. this is like someone that's like a. government person and so her being, you. know, annoying or aggravating or. whatever. I mean there like in the US I think.

there's like a certain level maybe not. anymore but there was like of a belief. that like oh you know I'm safe and I'm. an American like I can talk or you know. >> I can express my beliefs that sort of. thing. Yeah. >> And if this goes unchecked it scares me. for what that means what is reasonable. after this. Yeah, I get that for sure. It's hard to know if they if this had. been going on for two hours before this.

or if this had just all happened in like. 30 seconds. Um, that's a tough thing to. know. But what it's what to your point. is we're going to get into a place where. there's a lot more I feel like this like. vigilante journalism type of thing. >> where even with like the guy Nick. Shirley who went and. >> Oh yeah. >> and track down the uh like. >> Somalian. >> the Somalian healthcare fraud. >> you're going to have more of that and. are you going to have more people out. here who want to go out and contest the.

police? Yeah. I it's it overall in the. end for me it gets weirder and weirder. that we're just getting to these more. comfortable places like you and I are. able to sit here and watch a video where. somebody got killed like we don't see. the the bullets hit them and stuff like. that but we know what happened and we're. in a place now where like. >> we're like yeah let's talk about it like. it's not yeah that's terrifying. >> it's pretty scary. Um, one of the things. that's happened that's caused a lot of. this is they let so many people o into.

the country without proper uh. documentation and without proper. checking in. Like we had some border. patrol agents on where they would when. people were coming across the border. they would have to meet later with an. agent at a certain point like because. they were so overwhelmed they would be. like okay you have to meet with an agent. at this point and so many people were. not making those appointments and so. people were just in America undocumented. right and I just believe that everybody. should have documentation I believe. there's there's fair ways to be in the. country I believe that um that we need a.

proper immigration in and out. I'm a. huge believer in that. Um, Pew Research. Center reported 14 million undocumented. immigrants in 2023, a record high that. likely peaked further before declining. in 2025 under stricter enforcement. But what I'm saying is this is one of. the reasons why there's so much of this. ICE stuff, why there's so much ICE going. on, because there's so many people that. are that are up to no good, that don't. want to have any laws, that want to hide. from documentation, that want to hide. from being here legally. Um, and then.

what's wilder from there is the process. of becoming an ICE agent. Have you seen. some of this? >> No. >> So, US citizenship is required. What's. required, Trevan? Are you on, Mike? >> So, US citizenship is required. No. felony convictions or misdemeanor. Domestic violence offenses are allowed. You have to pass drug tests, medical. exams, background checks. um for the it. says here for entry- level positions, you typically need a bachelor's degree, but some it there was reports of some. recent ICE recruitments um stating that.

undergraduate degrees are not always. needed. So, it's kind of like a gray. area as far as that goes. >> Go back up. What's the age restrictions. on it? Didn't they change that recently? Let me see. Applicants must generally be. referred for selection before age 40. Though recent policy changes under. Secretary Gnome have removed strict age. limits to attract more candidates with. waiverss available for veterans and. prior federal law enforcement. So you can be getting a lot of different. types. What uh what were some of the. like did you see some of the posters.

though in some of the campaigns? Can you. show some of that? See if you have some of that. >> Oh my god. So, it's like, >> why is he trying to like That's like a. thirst trip. An old man thirst strip. >> Well, for sure, cuz I think they opened. up the age restrictions. Um, in an. effort to hire more ICE agents, the. federal government has lowered the age. limit. This poster is part of the. Department of Homeland Security's push. to hire 10,000 ICE agents. Previously,

agents had to be under the age of 40. Now, that has changed. This is like, yeah, you want this ice, baby girl? >> He looks like he's not wearing pants. Yeah. >> Yeah. And he wants you to know. >> Yeah. [laughter]. You want this warm ice. Um he you know. who he looks a little bit like is uh. Josh Duml. A little bit. [laughter]. >> Can you see that a little? >> A little bit. Yeah. >> Josh. And he might be upset that I said. that. But no. Um. >> he's a good looking [ __ ]. >> dude. >> Oh my god. >> I honestly I know him some.

>> Is he hot in real life, >> dude? He's so handsome and he knows uh he. doesn't honestly he doesn't act like. he's like he doesn't act like he's the. most handsomest guy around. >> Really? >> No, not around me. I'm a man. [laughter]. But. >> but he might in other circumstances, but. dude, he's so handsome. If we Dude, he's. so handsome. >> I can't I'm married. Take him off the. screen. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Thank you. Please, God. The. woman's already dealing with a lot, brother.

You're keeping [laughter] that up there. Um the um he's so handsome sometimes I. don't even want to go back home after I. [laughter] It's like I can't keep living. like this. Like what what visual squalor are the. rest of us living in? >> Dude, if this man gets to operate like. that. >> Imagine how I feel. I'm in a [ __ ]. wheelchair and he gets to look like. that. >> Yeah, but you're still you're you're. you're hot though. >> for now.

>> Yeah. Well, [laughter] look. I'm a. pumpkin, brother. >> But that's just because of the hair, I. think. [laughter]. >> That you can change that. You can change. that with a box of V5, honey. [laughter]. Um, but no, that that's one of the. posters, Trevan. >> Yeah. Posted by DHS. >> It almost has like a baseball like you. could like the baseball umpire. You. could umpire whether somebody should be. in the country or not. The type of. people this is for are not the people.

that should be doing this job. And like. it feel Yeah. like they're like, "Hey, does no one respect you at home?". [laughter]. >> Come on out here and like. >> Well, I bet you do get some of that. energy where people Well, that's the. thing. It's like in the end, the people. who are officers, police, anything, they're just people. like they're taking. those feelings of whatever's happening. to them at home, whatever's in the rest. of their life, whatever else has. occurred, and they're taking them out. there. And we also expect like guys to.

also be um I mean, I think this poster. is kind of crazy. I do think that they. like just kind of expanded to try and. just get more people in. This feels like. it's like, oh, you're the umpire and. you're calling safe, you know, you're. calling safe and out. You can decide. who's safe and out of America. You know, I think that's the kind of energy I get. from this poster a little bit. Um. but but but the yeah everybody takes. whatever it is into the world with them, >> you know, and it's like even though we. put on certain uniforms or certain like.

costumes or certain name tags, like. whether you're the principal or a. teacher, like. >> it's still just a person. And that's why. I feel like to be out there like just. taunting a person, whether the person's. a police, anybody, it's like. >> that's the danger. >> Especially these days, it feels. dangerous to like engage in stuff in. public. It feels like um but this poster. does say ICE hiring 10,000 agents with a. $50,000 hiring bonus. Um that's wild. >> Yeah. >> Now that makes me want to dust off the.

old. [laughter]. umpire uniform. >> Look, look at this. Somebody caught. this. A nice agent was caught slipping. on ice. >> MY TAX. >> [screaming]. >> And you know what's the craziest thing. these days? We don't even know if this. is a real ice agent. There's so many. people out there that are just. cosplaying and getting involved in [ __ ].

You It's like you just don't even know. what's real anymore. And the government. could create or the government or. different entities could create videos. like this just to get us agitated. It's. a wild time. >> Yeah. And the AI of it all. >> that could totally have been AI. We have. no idea. >> Mm- It's getting really scary. I will. say there have been a couple AI videos. of me, but they can't make even AI me. walk, and I find that disheartening. Damn, [laughter]. >> you think? Huh? Just one more protein.

>> Come on. >> Was it prolactin? Is that what you said. it was called? >> For taxing, you have a good memory. >> I do. Has there been um like like was. there ever times where you tried like. alternative methods of medicine? Like. did you ever go to like Honolulu or. something? Like was there stuff like. that? >> I've never been to Honolulu. >> They never took you to like an exotic. place to get a new medicine. Oh, they. took me to New Jersey [laughter]. during co and they locked me in a.

hospital for a month cuz we weren't. normally. Okay, >> that's un usually people get to go you. go to like New Zealand or you're going. to um you know somewhere in the uh. Amazonia. >> and you got [laughter] New Jersey. What. part? >> Uh. what's that? >> Not Trenton, huh? It's like It's like 45 minutes from New. York. >> New York? >> Yes. Yes. >> Um during the winter.

>> nightmare. Yeah. And you think walking. in snow is hard. [laughter]. >> Try just having your husband drag you. through it. >> Yeah. And every two seconds I'm like, "Are you mad at me?" [laughter]. What uh what therapies did you try or. what was something that you tried that. was kind of novel or new? >> There's the thing that the reason I'm. like like emotionally okay now I do have.

a lot of faith that med medicine will. catch up. Um like the one I did out. there was a fertaxen replacement. therapy. Um, so they're trying to figure. out how to get it back in your body and. it then at that point it would be me. relearning how to walk. They do believe. they'll cure me and my like but then the. next 10 five or 10 years. You're not.

going to like me as much when I can. walk. >> Whoa, that's going to be crazy. So was. there a time when you felt like there. would be no cure? >> Yeah. Well, when I got diagnosed, I was. like, "All right, now we know. So, what. do I do?" And they were like, "There's. nothing." And they were like, "Well, your life expectancy is 40.". >> Yeah. And I was like, "Fuck." And they. were like, "You're going to lose the. ability to walk, talk, see, hear, like. all of it." So, I'm Helen Keller, right?

Wow. >> And yeah, it was pretty [ __ ] dark. But now I am on a med called Sky Claris, which is the only treatment out there. for FA what I have. Um, and I mean it. hasn't been around long enough to like. have like long-term uh research done. >> So there's a little bit of being a. guinea pig in it. >> Um, yeah. My whole life is being.

elaborate. That's Yeah. And I'm okay. with it, you know, but it's just three. pills every day and it's supposed to. like pause the progression, which I am. a-ok okay with. Like if I can stay this. way and not turn into Stephen Hawking, you know? >> Yeah. >> That's my He did get to go to cool. places though. >> Did he have this same thing? >> No, he did ALS, which is way worse. >> Oh, it is? Yeah.

>> And are you guys ever at odds with like. that kind of stuff? Like do you or is. there is it It's probably very similar. like type of experience. >> Um I think it's worse because it's. quicker and you're definitely. going to He lived for a long time but he. was also kind of his posture wasn't that. good. No kind of a dick. >> was he? >> Yeah. He was on Epc's Fly Log. Did you. see that? But some people deserve to go. over there.

>> as he was cheating on his [ __ ] wife. >> Yeah, dude. >> You can't cheat without help. That's. crazy. >> Oh, that's a [laughter] good point. Wow. [snorts] So, somebody else is dead. >> Someone grabbed his hand. >> Those teeth are crazy. He looks like a. mean little dog. [laughter]. >> Oh my god, dude. I'm so sorry. >> We're going to go to hell for uh.

>> Yeah. >> No, but it definitely Yeah, it reminds. me of my my stepdad had a dog. I don't. know if he was my stepdad or not, but um. he had a dog named Muffy and at the end. it was just blind or whatever, but it. had these teeth and he would always. brush them in front of us and I was. like, "What are we doing? What are we doing?" You know, he'd brush. them like 40 times a day. He would brush. that dog's teeth. I think he felt like. cuz it couldn't see. >> his mouth kissing it. What the hell? [laughter].

>> He probably was, dude. And the dog had like kind of those brown. like marks around his mouth. You know, a. lot of them get those kind of. >> the tire burns like those little white. uh poodle dogs. >> Yeah, it's like a kid with the Gatorade. >> Yeah, it's like a kid with the Gatorade. with Yeah, it's like brown all around. their mouth and stuff. They get that. >> Yeah. >> Oh, that actually looks cute. That makes. me sad. >> Muffy. Muffy was all right, I think. I. don't know. My mom knew her a little bit. better. I didn't know her. I don't even. know she was a female. >> Sounds like she had better breath than. me. 40 times a day.

>> Oh, he would brush that dog's teeth. God, he would brush them [ __ ] till. they were just [ __ ] shining. [laughter]. I mean, just [ __ ] just like it just. >> just look like a belt buckle right out. there hanging out the front of his. mouth. I mean, yeah. Anyway, what are we. talking about? >> [laughter]. >> Um, so that has to be totally wild. So. there was a time in your life when you. went you were like, "Wow, so my life is. only going to be so much longer and then.

there's a time now where you feel like. it will be different.". >> Yeah. And it's weird being given sort of. a death sentence. Like you know, >> did you do some things you were like, I'm treating myself some crazy ways? >> Like there's no reason for me to care. about anything. And now I'm like, [ __ ]. I'm going to be here longer. >> [laughter]. >> Like I was a [ __ ] for a long time cuz I. was like. >> me too. >> Once once I'm in a wheelchair, it's.

over. You know what I mean? So I'm like. [laughter]. >> Oh yeah, that's a good point, dude. >> Right. So I'm like I'm going to [ __ ]. everyone I can walk into. >> Sorry too much. I'll pull back. [laughter] Okay. >> Edit that out. I'm [clears throat] just. >> No, no, that's fine. I just Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. People get out there. You. got to Did you um Did you feel like you. would ever find love? Did you Was that a. fearful thing? >> I fully Well, it's the scariest part is.

like people meet you while you're. walking with the game and then you have. to explain to them it's going to get. worse. So, signing up for this is a bad. idea. And so, I would try to avoid that. conversation and avoid telling them the. name of what I have. And that wasn't. fair. >> So, what would you do? Just try to play. it off or whatever? >> Not a big deal. Yeah, I'm just clumsy. I. call myself clinically clumsy. [clears throat]. >> You You came up with that.

>> That's interesting. >> Yeah. Well, at least it gives you your. own ownership over it, too. Um, but you. know, I mean, Matt and I got together. before this Matt is saying came around. So, he signed up for me. thinking I'd look like Stephen. >> But also, he signed up thinking if he. gets 10 more years of I mean, you are a. beautiful lady. If you if he gets 10. years of this beautiful lady, that's a. good deal. I feel like was that what he. was thinking or was it was it hard for.

you to get to believe that he was in. like what was that like? Was it hard for. you to believe like really at some point. did you ever realize for yourself? Because I think at some point all of us. it's hard for us to believe that. somebody would love us a lot of people. especially probably comedians. >> Oh my god. >> But you being a comedian and having um. having this ailment do you feel like. like that? Was that was there ever like. an about face? You're like wow I I just. I have to believe this. >> Yeah. I think in the beginning it was.

hard cuz he like my husband is a really. good person. So I uh. >> And Matt's comedian as well. >> Yeah. >> So that's how you guys met. >> Yeah. We met at an open mic here. But he's a good guy. Oh yeah. That's. >> a. >> Oh yeah. He said. >> look at Matt taking it easy. [laughter]. >> [ __ ] [gasps]. lazy dude. That's a [laughter] long way.

>> Oh, that's beautiful, huh? >> Yeah. >> That's awesome. >> You always got a chair with me. >> Who are you dancing with there, Matt? >> His mom. >> Oh, that's nice. What does your mom do, Matt? >> A psychologist. >> Oh, wow. That's cool. >> Yeah, it was very sweet. He proposed to. me outside of Zanies. He had the marquee. say, "Will you marry me?". >> Really? >> Yeah. >> Ah, did you know?

>> This [ __ ] Um, I guess like I had. to have known cuz we actually booked the. venue before we were in game. >> Okay. So, you guys were hoping it could. happen. Oh, really? Dude, that's so cool. I didn't even know. that. And where do you propose? Right. out there in the front. >> Yeah. Well, they we he took me to dinner. at a place I did not like. >> Yeah. >> And the name of it is called bad idea.

>> So I was like there. >> so good husband, bad dater. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Bad bad dinner guy. >> And then I get a call from the booker at. Zanies and they're like. someone's here. They want to meet you. Like hurry up. It's a big deal. And I'm. like what? And so we close out our tab. and we are driving over to Z. He's being. nervous and I think he's nervous cuz I'm.

>> pulls a gun out of the glove box. [laughter]. >> He's poking you in the arm with it. [laughter]. [gasps]. >> Oh man. And then I thought he was like. maybe it's Nikki Glazer. And I was like, cuz I had never met her at that point. and I was like, "Oh my god." So I'm. rolling real quick, top speed [laughter]. around the corner. And then Matt goes, "Wait, come back." And I was like,

"Matt, we got to go." [gasps]. And I look up and he got on my knee. And. I don't think I even said yes. I think I. just kept saying, "I'm going to throw up. on you." [laughter]. But that's an Irish. Yes. [laughter]. >> Oh, that's a beautiful story. Actually, it makes me think so much differently of. this place now when I'm there. >> I didn't know that people. [clears throat] were falling in love. right outside of there and playing in.

their futures. That's awesome. >> They let us have our We had like an. after party after the wedding and. reception. >> A [snorts]. >> Yeah, it was very sweet. Oh, that's cool. Wow. So, that must have been Yeah, because I guess like Yeah, I guess you. did. Yeah. Were there feelings like do. you feel like I'll ne like cuz I think. comics in general have a tough time. finding love and figuring that kind of. stuff out, you know?

>> Yeah. And the lifestyle of being a. comedian, it's really hard to negotiate. with love, right? So, I mean, I feel. lucky that we're both we travel and now. we're starting to travel together. Matt. features for me a lot on the road, which. is like, >> you know, a dream come true. We're. starting to do where he's headlining. this Sunday and I'm doing Friday, Saturday. >> Dude, that's awesome, bro.

Congratulations. >> Just the ability to be able to do that. together. That's pretty cool. >> Yeah, it is cool. I'm lucky. >> Is there points where you like um. has it [clears throat] felt weird having. a having this ailment that you're not. even going to have that much longer, which is going to be really [ __ ]. weird? [laughter]. >> You're just going to be like that dumb. [ __ ] was faking it and I don't know. what to do. >> I know. >> I want to do a special now called before.

and then I'll do one called after. [laughter]. >> I think that's a great idea. Um was there a part like. I guess yeah what's that relationship. like with comedy and with um obviously. you have a people have to joke about. what they know the most right and I. think people are people that a lot of. times are. [sighs] I think they look at people I. think sometimes people look at people. that have an ailment or something either. as like a good luck omen or like as like.

something that that they're almost. fearful of. >> right because they don't want to imagine. it, >> you know, they don't want to think like, oh, that could be me or I could be in. that situation. >> Well, that's a weird part about like the. sympathy. A lot some of it truly is that. just simple sympathy, but a lot of the. times I can tell when people feel bad. for themselves cuz they've created a. whole story of like how terrible their. life would be if they were me. And I.

don't like that, you know, cuz like we all have shitty. things. I'm lucky for a lot of reasons, you know what I mean? I'm luckier than. most people. >> Yeah, that's interesting. I think it's. interesting to think like Yeah. like how. we relate to people sometimes. And in. the end, it's an it's a reflection of. something about us or some way we view. ourselves or some way that we're afraid. to imagine ourselves or there's there's.

like a uh there's an ego in that or a. selfishness in it. That stuff it's hard. to kind of figure out exactly what that. is, >> but that's really fascinating. >> Yeah. Well, it's like, you know, I've. been now diagnosed disabled. for 11 years and you figure it out. The. worst part is people doing shitty things. and everyone doesn't want to call it. shitty. They are like, "Hey, they had. good intentions.

It is not my job to figure out what your. intention was." You know what I mean? >> Like, you mean people saying mean stuff? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Do people say mean stuff to you a lot? >> Yeah. >> Really? >> And is it just Kill Tony fans trying to. show affection? >> Probably. Pro. Oh my god, the Kill Tony. fans. They are cor Not all of them, but. a lot of them. >> What are they like? >> The DMs I get would blow your mind. Like. um the I get this a lot. It's uh people.

men asking if I'll roll over their. dicks. >> Oh. With a wheelchair. >> Yeah. Oh, >> or like show us your boobs before you. die. I get that a lot. >> Yeah, it's fun. [laughter]. >> I'm I'm having a good time. >> I mean, I bet it's added a lot of like. color just to your life. I think things. like that are just I mean, yeah, some of. that stuff's insane. Is there ever stuff. that does kind of pain you a little bit. that's like are you able to just kind of. >> There's Yeah. You know, it's whenever.

someone touches on your real insecurity. and you're like, "Fuck." For me, it's my. voice cuz I let go of the fact that my. body is not functioning a long time ago, but my voice is all I have. M. >> So, I recognize I speak slow. It's cuz. I'm trying to pronunciate, you know, or. annunciate. I don't know. >> Did you used to be like louder and have. a different voice at all?

>> It was more annoying. It was more valley. girl, >> bro. Thank god you got rid of that. >> Now it's kind of deep. [laughter]. >> Oh, damn. Really deep valley girl. Oh, now you're saying now it's kind of deep. >> [laughter]. >> No, now it just seems like it just I. don't know. I feel like you want. everybody I kind of always feel like. you're like a kindergarten teacher. You. want everybody to sit on the rug. [laughter]. >> and listen to a story kind of. >> like it's okay. It's almost nap time.

Everyone sit down. >> Yeah. >> Wow. Um, are you ever like do you have. moments where you're also envious of the. fact that you get to have such a. perspective of life cuz you like not. many of us have this thing where there's. a possible timeline on our lives, you. know, and you know what that's like, but. also are able to have a voice like you. have like able to be a comedian whose. job it is to articulate things and to. share thoughts and feelings. Is there. ever a moment you're like, "Wow, this. has been, you know, if I don't get to do.

life again or if we do get to do it a. hundred more times, this has been a. pretty special experience.". >> Yeah, I feel very fortunate because I. before the diagnosis, the things I cared. about did not matter and no one could. tell me they didn't matter. It just took. them once things are taken away it kind. of strips down to like the truth and the. core of like what is important right I.

was very vapid very like whatever like I. didn't care about my relationships that. much you know. >> but all you have is connection so like. the more you can connect with people the. bigger the impact you leave you You know. what I mean? And all I want to do now, which I never foraw any of this, is. like, yeah, give a voice to the.

voiceless a little bit. And with them. telling me my voice was going, it feels. so ironic that I'm doing that, >> but it feels good. >> That would be the scariest thing. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like all we have. especially like as I think it was work. if you work in a comedian or someplace. where you speak or someplace you have to. like communicate with others regularly. or probably just for anybody it's just. like man if I my voice I can't tell you. how I feel. >> right then yeah.

>> um you've done you were doing public. speaking do you still do that some. >> so I did I think you're talking about. the TED talk. >> I did like a TED X talk. a while ago I'm still waiting for it to. come out. But yeah, um that was really. crazy cuz that was the first time. >> wild dude. >> I publicly spoke and it wasn't comedy. and not like getting laughs cuz I wasn't. being funny.

was really stressful. >> Hell yeah. >> That's cute, huh? >> I'm so happy that you guys have each. other. It's nice to have somebody, is. it? Oh, yeah. It's really nice. I went a. long time without it. I also didn't. think I'd ever get married. It wasn't. really I wasn't someone that was seeking. that. All my friends were kind of. falling into that. And I was like, "Cool. I can't imagine that." And the.

when I met him, I was like, "Oh, fuck.". >> [ __ ] honky. [laughter]. >> He got me. >> Yeah. Honk. You're from Alabama. >> Oh, he's from Alabama. >> Yeah, >> I know. It's [ __ ]. >> You were already. >> I've been through a lot. I told. >> you're already dealing with an ailment. [laughter]. >> I know. >> Now you're marrying. Wow. And shout out. Alabama, dude. [laughter] That's all. people say is Yeah. Shout out Alabama. What part though?

>> Tuscaloosa. >> Oh, dude. That's a great part. You're a. Bama fan. Oh, that's so cool. >> Rad. >> I know. >> Yeah. >> Well, you got the red hair. They're. ready for you. >> Yeah. And the whales. the roll. >> Yeah, [laughter] it's true. That's hilarious. You seem to be on your. period when you show up over [laughter]. there. >> They should have a roll tide section is. just women on their period during the. game for the game. >> in wheelchairs. >> I love that. That's great. Red Bam will. be sniffing all those things. [laughter].

>> Red B will judge a seat sniffing. competition. >> You got the red part of his name. [laughter]. Wow. So, all the people who throughout. this episode were like, "Tho is being. doing too many jokes." Just know that. that's where we're at here. That's the. level that we're at here. Um, I heard. you talk about Nikki Glazer. How great. is she? >> She is a queen. >> She's the best. She just did the uh she. hosted the Golden Globes. Let's see some. of that. Do you have any of that, Trevan? And congratulations to her.

She's fought so hard. you know, she was. an opener for Amy Schumer for a long. time where Amy was like, you know, the. biggest thing in the world and uh and. here she is as just like the absolute. queen. >> Yeah, she's crushing. >> The Golden Globe for best editing goes. to the Justice Department. >> Yes, congratulations. >> Few facts to that. [applause].

And the award for most editing goes to. CBS News. Yes. CBS News, America's newest place to see. BBS News. [laughter]. She's awesome. She uh. >> she's so good. She actually I had never. had anyone take me on the road and I. understood pretty quickly that probably. was not going to be part of my comedic.

journey cuz taking me on the road you. got to account for a jar and blah blah. blah. I DM'd her out of nowhere cuz I. saw she was coming to the Ryman. I was. like I'm a local community. would love. to, you know, do a guest spot if you. have room. And she replied within like a. couple hours and was like absolutely. love and had me on both our shows and. then took me on the road. >> No.

>> Yeah. And she was she's the only person. that's taken me on the road. >> That's incredible. >> And she like paid for an extra ticket. for Matt cuz she wanted me to have. someone there. >> Mhm. That's sweet. >> Yeah. >> She's the best. She's so funny. I'd love. to have her back on again. I Every time. we sit in chat, we have a great time, dude. Imagine that. You're sitting. there, you get to joke with Leonardo. DiCaprio. That's got to be crazy. >> Oh my god. Talking [ __ ] to Leah. >> You've worked with every great director.

You've won three Golden Globes, an. Oscar, and the most impressive thing is. that you were able to accomplish all of. that before your girlfriend turned 30. I. mean, it's just insane. Leo, I'm sorry I made that joke. It's cheap. You know what? I I tried not to, but. like we don't know anything else about. you, man. Like, there's nothing else. Like, open up. >> That's a good point. >> He's starting to look like Jack. Nicholson a little bit. >> Oh my god. >> Go back to him right there.

>> You're totally correct. >> Pull up Jack Nicholson at his age. >> Oh no, >> we did it. We cracked the code. [laughter]. >> a little bit. The hairline. >> The hairline's better on uh. >> you don't think Leonardo had any hair. implants or anything? >> Well, here's the thing. I think he has a. great hairline, but I bet he also could. have easily had that done. It wasn't. available in Jack's time. >> I mean, if you're only if you're only. dating young girls, you got to.

>> you got to keep it fresh. And you got to. keep it until you get a wife. I've had. hair put in here. >> Oh, hell yeah. >> And I didn't know if I need it. I was. just dealing with a ton of stress. >> Hey, he's bald. You got a wife. >> type [ __ ] I got to change my attitude. >> I just can't see the top of his head. That's it. [laughter]. >> Dude, that's a great point. You're like, "Yeah, what do you care?" [laughter]. >> Um, what are like some of the toughest. things about being uh having this. disability that people do not realize,

you think? Are there some little things. that are kind of interesting? Um I think. uh there's a general assumption that. like. I am mentally disabled. because of how I speak. I've Oh my god. I do have a joke about this, but it's. like a real story. Do you remember that. bar Kung Fu? >> It was in Nashville. >> Mhm. It shut down. >> It was on Broadway. >> Uhhuh. >> Yeah. I've heard about it. So, I went.

there with some friends a couple years. ago and we random went out. It was a. friend's birthday. Like six girls, you. know, drinking, whatever. And long story. short, I watch my friend get reviewed. Okay. But again, nothing bad has. happened to any of my friends, so they. just take drinks from people and, you. know, whatever. So, my friend is getting. real sick and starting to pass out. It's. been like 45 minutes. My able-bodied.

friends all go to the bathroom together. Do I saw give her the drink, tries to. come in, she's passed out, and he's. like, "Hey, that's my friend. She asked. me to take her home." And I was like, "No." And I just rolled over and put my. foot on the door to close it. And then. he shouldered it open and I kicked him. in the wiener. And um I started yelling. for help cuz he's fighting me and I. can't do much. And finally security.

comes over and the guy goes, "Hey guys, I'm so sorry. That's my girlfriend. My. friend passed out and this is her. mentally [ __ ] friend that doesn't. remember me.". And I had to convince these security. guards that I was not mentally disabled. >> And how do you. >> I couldn't do it. [laughter]. It is so much harder than it sounds. [laughter].

>> Yeah. How do you even. >> It's like trying to convince someone. you're from the future. [laughter]. [gasps]. >> You can't do it. >> Oh my god, that's hilarious. >> Yeah. Trying to get away from the. accusations. [laughter]. >> Beat that. Can't beat those cases. Yeah, dude. >> No, we got kicked out. But that guy. didn't get my friends, so that's a win. >> I can't believe he had such a plan, too.

That's the crazy part that he would say. that. >> the first time. Yeah. I was like, "Oh my. god." Kind of genius. Kind of funny. >> Just crazy. There's sick people out. there like that, too. >> Um, what would you say to people other. people that have a a lot of people don't. have the same ailment, right? >> You said it's so few. >> Yeah. But they have stuff similar. And. it's cool at my shows a lot of disabled. bibble gum, which is that success to me. I would love one day just like for the. club to have to take out every chair cuz.

everyone has their own. >> Yeah, >> I think that'd be sick. >> I love that. >> BYOC. Huh. That's great. And um were. there people that had um ailments that. you looked up to at certain points or do. you find like that isn't people just. look up to. >> There's one that comes and I know there. are more but like kind of the like. godmother of disability. Her name she's. dead now. but her name was Judy Hume. Mhm.

>> Um and she helped pass the ADA. uh like act whatever. Yeah. Judy Hume. >> She rocked basically. Yeah. The Black. Panthers helped get the ADA passed. >> Wow. Judy Hume, born in Philadelphia, um. was an American disability rights. activist known as a mother of the. disability rights movement. She was. recognized internationally as a leader.

in the disability movement. In 1970, Humeman was denied her New York teaching. license because the board did not. believe she could get herself or her. students out of the building in case of. a fire. She sued the board of ed. education. Local newspaper ran the. headline, "You can be president, not. teacher with polio." The case settled. with the trial. Wow. Um, human received. much mail from disabled people around. the country due to press coverage of her. lawsuit. Many wrote about the. experiences with discrimination because. of their disabilities based on the. outpouring of support and letters. In. 1970, Hume and several friends founded.

the disabled in action, an organization. focused on securing the protection of. people with disabilities under civil. rights laws through political protest. Wow. Do you think um. do you think there is a common like. energy where people feel like you can't. do something? Yeah. I think people think. Matt is my caregiver and not my husband. >> Oh yeah. >> Which makes me very mad. >> Yeah. You're like my caregiver keeps.

taking advantage of it, you [laughter]. know. >> My caregiver keeps grabbing my boobs and. that ain't right. [laughter]. >> Yeah. I guess there's part of you I. think is that like as someone that. doesn't have an ailment like this right. now um that like you feel like you want. to be helpful. >> and you don't know how to do that. really. >> That that is a question people always. are like well how do I know when you. need help? And if it's like an innocent.

question I understand that but like I'm. an adult. I know how to ask, you know. what I mean? So, like unless I'm like, "Hey, >> can you do this for me, I'm fine.". >> Yeah. >> You know, I learning how to ask for help. was one of the toughest parts about like. I wasn't disabled and now I am. >> Oh, wow. >> You know, I was very independent.

>> God, that would be so hard. I hate. asking for help. >> Yeah, it's a nightmare. But like there. is so much power in being able to and I. know disabled people that are bad at it. and they hurt themselves not asking for. help and they'd rather that I'm like. what good are you to yourself or others. if you're hurting yourself. >> Yeah. >> You know. >> Yeah. I mean you'll sit there forever. and be in pain because you just don't. want to speak up. I think it goes back.

to even sometimes it's like how how even. like some how like those law officers. feel. I think there's a code of human. where it's like I want to be able to. take care of myself. I should be able. to. I don't want somebody to know I'm. having a tough time. I don't want to. feel like I can't do this. >> Yeah. >> I think a lot of that probably comes to. surface. Um what is something that you. see like walkies or I don't know what. you call like people that are. >> day walkers? >> Day walkers. Yeah. What is something you. see uh day walkers do that just blows. your mind? Is there anything that like.

comes up like that? Um, I think. able-bodied men are dumb as [ __ ] because. I see them do the dumbest [ __ ] Like I'm. like, "Your body can break. What are you. doing?". >> Oh, this crazy [ __ ] they do. >> Yeah. Like the jackass stuff. I'm like, "Y'all are so lucky.". >> But like, anything bad can happen to. anyone. Like the disabled. minority is the most inclusive minority.

It's a good point, huh? >> Mhm. >> Anybody can show up here. >> Yeah. Like you feel bad for me today, but you could be sitting next to me. tomorrow. >> Yeah. We'll save you a seat. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> I like that a lot. It feels like a. threat. >> Is there Yeah. Is there uh are there. like AA meetings for people that have. different types of um uh ailments or. like like they that have like mobility. ailments? >> I know there are disability support. groups. I've never.

been to one, which is probably not good. I'm sure there's something in Nashville, but it's hard also because I feel. disability. It looks like so many. different things. >> That's true. You don't want to get in. there with somebody just has a neck. brace on or something. You're like, "Look at this.". >> They're like, "I have ADD. I'm just like. you." [laughter] I hear that a lot. >> Uhuh. >> Yeah. Dead ass. See, that's another place we've gotten. with these autistic Barbies. It's like.

making everybody believe that there's. something that they have. >> and it's like it might be true, but like. you're fine. >> Yeah. Well, we're all so blessed. I mean, I. think there's like you just don't even. realize the blessings that we have every. day. I was just this morning I woke up. with a good amount of gratitude for the. first time. I haven't had that in a. while and it felt pretty good. Um, what was I seeing in the news? Something. else. We'll finish up in a few minutes. Um, oh, did you see in Iran that they. cut off or Iran, people call it.

different stuff, but did you see that. they cut off all the internet and the. phones over there? >> No. >> Nationwide unrest in Iran right now is. being driven mainly by a severe economic. crisis that has quickly turned into a. broader anti-government movement. What's what caused it? Iran's currency. has plunged to record lows with the. real, that's what they use, losing a. large share of its value and pushing up. prices for food, fuel, and other. essential items. Um, the initial. economic anger morphed into political.

slogans like death to the dictator and. calls for the end of the current system. So inflation above 40% in years of. sanctions, mismanagement, and corruption. have left many Iranians unable to cover. basic living costs, prompting. shopkeepers, workers, and students to. launch strikes and street protests. Is. there any video from that? I mean, it's. unbelievable. Like the internet, imagine. if they shut the internet down here. Look at this.

That's wild. There's just and this is in. the capital Tan. There's just protests. against the regime there. I think at a. certain point you see when things get. bad enough that people will take action. which I guess is still nice to see that. people you know. >> work together. >> to make something different cuz it. starts to feel like in America sometimes. like. >> we're all for ourselves. Yeah. >> And as long as somebody's mailing me. some Tostitos or something.

>> and a can of government dip that I'll be. f you know what I'm saying? Like I think. I just think we've gotten very. comfortable here, you know? >> Yeah. >> I mean, what would happen in America if. the government was down? We'd have to. write letters to each other. >> I can't even write anymore. [laughter]. >> I have to get a typewriter or some [ __ ]. >> Oh, that would be [laughter]. unbelievable. Yeah. >> My chair would stop working. >> Your chair would stop working, too, huh? >> Probably. >> You'd be stranded. >> I'd be screwed. You'd be like one of.

those Whimos that like just went in a. circle [laughter] or whatever when it. got commandeered. Um, do we have. anything from just somebody like Boots. on the ground over there? I know they're. having um. Oh, what's this? Uh, this is Masi Alenijiad. This says, "Please help us. The. situation here is horrific. It is a. full-scale war. The regime's forces show. no mercy. They shot protesters in the. head and heart and even finish off those.

already wounded on the streets in. hospitals. The wounded are being. kidnapped and killed. Wow. Um, this is. Nikki Haley says at least 12,000. Iranians fighting for freedom have been. murdered by the regime. Wow. Is that. true? Possibly thousands more. Okay. Okay. The death toll and growing. protest in Iran is believed to be in the. thousands with an Iranian official. putting the figure at 2,000, but human. rights groups estimating those numbers. could be far higher. Wow.

Um. have been killed in protests of of Iran. now in their third week. Iranian officials have called the. protesters terrorists and accuse them of. rioting. I mean, it's interesting to see. how quickly. a republic will call someone a. terrorist. Um, Iran International, a Londonbased. Persian language news channel, wrote in. an editorial on Tuesday that it believes. 12,000 people have been killed. They. called it the largest killing in Iran's. contemporary history, taking place over.

two nights between January 8th and. January 9th. Wow. I mean, this is a. revolution. This is a revolution. Demonstrations began in late December. over economic hardships, but have grown. into widespread anger against the regime. of the Islamic Republic. Um, yeah. prayers for the people in Iran. that are dealing with that that are. dealing with um just like I can't even. imagine what it's like not to be able to. have a voice to feel like you don't. anyway. It just goes to show like in the. old days when they didn't have the. internet and they didn't have cell. phones you still had a voice, right?

>> Mhm. >> But I think this is almost this is feels. like proof to me that those things. create what a voice is nowadays, right? Because some of those some of those. companies will be like, "Well, it. doesn't matter how we act or how we. behave or what like rules we allow or. don't allow on our platforms because if. you don't have this, you still have a. voice." But you really kind of don't. >> Yeah. >> You know, it's like it's hard to know. what's going on somewhere. Um. >> Yeah. Well, it's like we became so.

reliant on technology and stuff that we. don't know how to have a voice without. it. And that was by design cuz it's. something that can be taken very easily, >> right? >> 100%. >> I didn't know we can go down those. roads. We'll have to go down those. roads. No, it's good. No, I think the. same way. >> It's like, oh, well, here's a voice, but. it's for lease. Really? >> Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a voice you. are no longer allowed to own. >> Yeah.

>> Interesting. Um, and what's the. president saying about this? Trump said, "Iranian patriots, keep. protesting. Take over your institutions. Save the names of the killers and. abusers. They will pay a big price. I. have canceled all meetings with the. Iranian officials until the senseless. killing of protesters stops. Help is on. its way. Make Iran great again.". President Donald J. Trump. That's. insane. Effective immediately, any. country doing business with the Islamic. Republic of Iran will pay a tariff of.

25% on any and all business being done. with the United States of America. Wow. So, they're not playing around. They're. trying to or who knows if they are. I. mean, half the stuff they say is. means nothing. But, uh, but they're. definitely sticking their heads out. Man, it's just so it sucks so much that. people, the regular people, have to. suffer the the whims of their. politicians, but then also it's brave. that people are willing to get out and. protest and speak up for things that. need to happen in their community. you.

know, uh if if your government is just. ruining the value of your currency and. you're sitting there, you can't afford. to feed like I saw I've read somewhere. the price of eggs over there gone up. like seven times and that they have oil. and then they reframe the prices of uh. of gasoline over there to make it more. expensive. At a certain point, you have. to stand up for yourselves, you know, >> which can be hard for some people. [laughter]. >> Yeah, it can. See if you have a one.

video of Iran before the uh in the 1970s. before the. >> Oh, yeah, >> dude. >> They were getting it. >> They were getting it. They were putting. lotion on. >> outside. Oh, hell yeah. >> Oh, yeah. >> Dang. >> Another motorized person. >> You know, I like that. [laughter]. >> Corn wheels, huh? Yeah. I mean, it's just wild. >> It's crazy.

>> It's crazy to think to live in a grow up. in a place where you're not free. >> You know what I'm saying? And it's not. You just are a soul put on an earth. You're supposed to be free here. Like, if anything, you're supposed to be free. Like whether you're supposed to just. live in the woods or whatever we're. supposed to actually be. >> It's weird that just by happen stance, you're either free or you're not, just. depending on where you were. >> Yeah. born, you know, and like not to like make it. all about disability, but like being.

disabled in a country that's not free. I mean, even here before Judy Humeman. did her thing, there were signs. like in the '9s on uh like windows of. like private businesses and some of them. wouldn't let disabled people in cuz it. made their other customers. uncomfortable.

>> No way. >> Mhm. Disabled people have been left. behind for ever. Like even now, I think. as a minority, even though we are the. largest minority, we have the least. amount of progress. It's cuz all we're. asking is for accessibility and no one. wants to spend money. >> And when money is involved, you're going. to see change real slow. Like I can't. even afford to really make where I live.

completely accessible. You know what I. mean? Like. >> Yeah. People don't even think about. that. >> It's really I'm Yeah. I mean I don't. ever I don't ever even think about that. a lot of times. Like is this place. accessible? Could somebody live here? What would this be like? >> Yeah. I didn't think about it before I. was disabled, you know? I never thought this is all I. would think about. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And like think about New York. Like you. can't even like half of the living more. than half of the living you can't even.

probably doesn't even apply to you. because you can't get. >> I want to talk to a disabled person that. lives in New York and be like how what. are you doing? I've been a few times now. but not for more than two days because. getting around is a nightmare. Like so. many like restaurants are just stairs. And so I'll wait on the sidewalk and. Matt will go in and like send me a. picture of the menu. >> Oh, >> dude, that's why. And you don't even.

think how many comedians who are. disabled comedians probably haven't even. had a chance to shine because of how. just because of. >> maybe what a place like New York is. Just the fact that it is stairs to get. in a lot of places. >> The name of the seller. Come on. >> Come on. [snorts]. >> Let's think about it, guys. [laughter]. I I haven't been able I've been able to. get in that side room. They have a. little elevator but not the main one. Like there are so many clubs. I remember.

when I started comedy I had never seen. I've seen like Josh Blue. He was a big. inspiration. >> Yeah, that's when I was starting out. with Josh Blue. >> He was so great, >> dude. I'm so funny. >> I met him once before way before I was a. comic. I was at I paid money to go to a. show at Z news. I got shitfaced and. embarrassed myself in front of him and. then later that. >> Are you sure that's what happened to. you? It sounds like you were just an. alcoholic. It sound like [laughter] you.

sure you didn't get in a drunk driving. accident. >> I can't remember. >> You went to see Josh? >> Yeah. And he was doing a little meet and. greet and I was like. and he was like okay [laughter]. >> that's so cool. Really embarrassing. I tried to jump a. curb in my wheelchair that night. >> Nuh-uh. >> Fell out and gave myself a black eye. >> Oh yeah. Yeah. They just put some speed. bumps in our neighborhood. >> and it's a nightmare sometimes. I mean, it's different.

>> They keep the disabled out. >> It feels like a moat in my world. >> Oh, every now and then I'll see a. disabled person just stalled out of. there at the speed bump. Just [laughter]. a. >> You're like, "Well, they didn't ask for. help, so I'm not helping. Um, any other news? Was there anything. else? Um, >> what about the new Duski skit where he. rips on mega church pastors? >> Let's take a peek at it. I love Duski. I. haven't seen him in a while. Let's see. Let's see what Duski says here. Let's. watch it and we'll get out of here.

>> Revolution. >> I'm going to have Wanda stand up here. Wanda, please. Wanda told us earlier. this month that she could not have a. baby anymore. So, I impregnated her with. the word of God. >> I'M GOING TO IMPREGNATE EVERYONE WITH. THE WORD OF GOD. YOU GOING TO GET. PREGNANT WITH THE WORD OF GOD. YOU GOING. TO GET PREGNANT WITH THE WORD OF GOD.

You going to GET PREGNANT WITH THE WORD. OF GOD. >> Oh my god. He can do that. >> Somebody in the congregation asks why. I'm wearing Christ. >> I know he can slip and slide. That's. just me trying to do stand up. >> That's you. That worm. >> No, with the. >> Oh, with those. Dude, why don't you get. those? >> We got to talk to the club. [laughter]. >> You're like, look, if they're not. putting a ramp in, they're certainly not.

putting in two cables that I can hang. from the ceiling from. >> I just want to be puppeteered. >> [laughter]. >> That'd be so crazy if you had a whole. musical and it was people that are in. wheelchairs and they're all being. puppeteered though and they have them. like as if they're not. >> I love it. It would feel great. I can't. walk but I can fly. [laughter]. >> Um Fiona, thanks so much for joining us. I appreciate it. >> Thank you for having me. >> I know you and uh Matt have a podcast.

called Ramping Up. >> Yeah. >> And is it out every week? Yeah, every. Monday at 4:30 central. >> Okay, great. That's beautiful. How long. have you guys been doing it? >> Um, >> Christina was on. >> Yeah. >> Oh, she's the best. >> Yeah, she rocks. >> She's my favorite. >> Do you know Derek Stroop? >> Uh, I don't know. I've heard of him. >> Oh my god. Yeah, he's unreal. He's the maybe the. funniest working comic I've seen in a.

long time. >> He's from Nashville. uh from York. >> He's in New York, but he's from Alabama. >> I gotta touch base. Maybe I do know him. I bet I've met him here. I don't know. I. think I had an aneurysm last year, but. we'll see. I'll probably see you. >> I'm saving you a seat. Don't worry. [laughter]. >> There you go. That's going to be a new. merch. Saving you a seat. Um Fiona. Collie, you can see her live uh coming. up in Chandler, Arizona. Um San Antonio, Texas. Uh, Nashville January 21st.

That's this week. No, next week. >> Next week. >> Next Monday, right? >> Or something. >> Sunday. Um, [laughter]. out in LA January 27th. I might be out. there. That's going to be cool. >> Yeah. >> Uh, San Diego. Comedy Works Denver. Have. you been there? >> No, it's my first time. >> Dude, it's so cool. You're getting to go. to all these places. >> It is very cool. I'm nervous cuz I. assume it's snowy in Denver right now.

>> Yeah. And I think. >> there's one downtown and there's one. that's on the uh. >> south or whatever. I'm doing that one. >> The south one. >> South one's good. It's got a good. There's like good places to eat right. around there. Oh, and the room is super. cool. I've actually never done the. downtown one. I've only done the south. one. >> I think downtown is new and it's more. like events. >> is what I heard. I'm not sure. Wait, you're gonna be in LA? >> Yeah, >> at the same time. >> Well, I have to come watch. >> I have a show at the Bell room.

>> You do? >> Um, if I'm there at the same time, I'll. do it. You didn't You didn't invite me. to do it. >> No, I want you to. That's where I was. going. I talk real slow. So, >> Oh, sorry. I was like, "God, this is. getting really [laughter]. me." It is nap time. Holy [ __ ]. >> Do you get a nap time? >> Uh, I mean, [laughter]. if Matt lets me. >> That pervert. He doesn't let anybody. >> He just watches. >> Um well, Matt was in the background. here. Uh so, um Matt, uh thanks so much.

for being here. Taylor, that's your last. name. >> Yeah. Um Matt Taylor, Fiona Collie, thanks so much for coming in and and. hanging out today. I'm glad we got to. chat and just laugh and um and think. about some stuff together. And best of. luck. And you guys go see her. Check her. out wherever she is. Um it's great. It's. really really great. This one of the. funniest episodes I've had in I mean. probably two years is probably some of. the most I laugh. So, thank you. >> Thank you for having me.

[music]. >> I must be corner stone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll. share this piece of mind. I can feel.