Fence Rabbits | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #300

we had a female trucker. uh that canceled couldn't make it in. here. and you know that's just the way it is. sometimes out there on the road. you know that's why the road comes in. different patterns you know you can get. a. interstate it keeps going you get an. intersection meets up with something you. get. cul-de-sac you get dead in. you get um other roads.

so trucker canceled. so you know the podcast is going well. when a. female trucker cancels on it. gasoline females you know just ladies. out there burning gasoline. 18 wheeler [ __ ] you know what i'm. saying legitimate women. um what else happened i got rejected by. a woman i don't know if.

well not even the trucker i didn't think. about that but um. a i hit on a woman and. got rejected uh i'll tell you what. happened so. you know i went to this place out here. and we're coming out to you live right. now from the central east out here. and and i went to a locale here. local shop and they sold crepes. crepery and.

i don't know what a crepe is but i. didn't care once i saw this lady working. there i said all right. you know i'll eat them until you know. she and i are married if i have to. um they had a girl in there and i saw. her and. you know i made some small talk and it. was. it was awkward because we both had masks. on you know uh. having a mask on. it's kind of like the beginning of like. um shrek or whatever.

you know because you don't know how. anybody really. you're not getting the full package. you're just kind of getting that. japanese package of somebody. you know kind of snout up or mid snout. upwards. you know you're kind of getting that um. you know like everybody's kind of a. desert nine. you know when they got that middle. eastern. you know a lot of middle eastern women. they wear the.

kind of that word yarmulke whatever it. is that. that muffler you know they wear that. front muffler you can't see them. i was in uh saudi arabia one time at the. airport. and they had a man there and. fat fella i'll be honest with you really. was and i had. if i could think of another word to. describe him i would use it. but i cannot and this one this man was.

what you would call a fat. fella and he uh had about five women. with him all of his wives and they all. had on that um. you know just that little kind of. they're all wearing like a what's behind. door number one kind of curtain right on. their face you know you can't see them. all. so that's called that desert nine you. know where that desert eight everybody's. kind of a desert nine when you can only. see the eyes. so i went in there and i'd seen her and. i like you know was nervous. and anyway you know i went in there and.

i went in there a follow-up time because. i'm the kind of guy that'll show up. somewhere. fall in love with a woman that works. behind a counter i don't know if you've. ever done this but i'll. i'll go somewhere fall in love with. somebody who works at the place. and then try and and then go back to the. place. to try and profess my love or make a. connection so. anyway so i go back and i was nervous.

and we talked about mma fighting we. talked about adult male. you know uh you know fighting and so i. figured i would try and talk about that. again when i saw her. i couldn't remember her name. and so i was like hey remember me. you know what's your name and she's like. oh my name is. you know clara i believe it was her name.

and. so then i was like oh. uh have you been watching any of the. fights. and she said no i haven't and then. i was like so you ever like are so. nervous like you can't even hear what. the other person is saying. you're just like oh have you ever. watched any of the fights. and you just you ca even no matter what. their answer is your next question. is gonna be something like do you have a. boyfriend.

you know uh so she said i don't know. what she said. she might have who knows she could have. been calling the police. but i was like go do you you know have. um maybe we should watch the fight. sometime. and and that was kind of weird because i. didn't. i don't even know kind of how she. responded if she was like yeah or maybe. or um and then i was like oh do you have. a boyfriend. and that's how i said it too like do you.

have a boyfriend. like i just got so. just i was just strung up you know just. like when you see a rabbit and he's got. one of his legs caught in the uh. in that wire you know do you have a. boyfriend. and that's how i was verbally you know i. was that verbal. kind of hung rabbit and. she said i do and i didn't have a plan.

for her having a boyfriend. i did not have my plan was. i i ask her out and she maybe says. yes or no i guess was also. i mean that's probably that's always. that's the biggest option but. i didn't have a plan for when i was. going to think she says. dude i'm making this story so long so. i was thinking okay i asked her and then. she said she. says no i don't and then i follow up.

with oh well maybe i could take you out. sometime or i could buy you something. that's not a crepe you know or something. just a chill line. well i said you have a boyfriend. and she said yes and so when she said. yes i couldn't. it was it would have been weird for me. to follow up with oh well maybe we. should go out sometime. so i didn't know what to ask her so i. just. asked her name again.

and i was like oh what was your name so. it just wasn't. didn't make it didn't make any sense man. uh. it just didn't make any sense man um. so anyway oh and this was the worst part. then then i had to. i'd already ordered the food so i had to. sit there she said yes i was like oh. what was your name what is your name i. said what is your name. what is your name and she told me her. name again. and then the conversation was just.

and then she's like giving me like my. plate and fork and knife that comes with. your food that you order and you just go. sit down at your table and then it comes. out. and i was the only person in there so. now i have to sit and i. this is where i really messed up i sat. facing the counter. i sat facing her at the counter and then. i had to sit there and just eat a crepe. which is the loneliest saddest thing you. can eat as a rejected man.

it almost feels like one of those. japanese game shows like oh you lost you. eat the crips you know. and so i'm sitting there just eating. this sad. every bite tasted like this girl did not. like me um. but i did it i did it i went in there. i asked her out i didn't get. she didn't i there was no option. and i asked her her name again and then.

i said. and point blank ate a crepe in front of. this woman. very very sad um. very very sad so so anyway if you've. ever been rejected. if you ever tried and failed with a. woman um. [Music]. which i'm sure you have or you wouldn't. be listening to this podcast. uh then i'd love to know about it. and i'd love to hear the sharing of it.

and if you can hit the hotline and keep. it concise you know. um and hit the hotline nine eight five. 985-664-9503. and let me know about that moment let me. know how you handled it or how you. didn't handle it. the succeeding is in the trying that's. where it is. that's where it is so. if you've ever been rejected bro. rejected nation son you feel me gang man.

we out here man we out here. let's get into the episode. this is paul coffin holy ghost fire. i got the holy ghost fire and it's. burning in me. [Music]. i got the holy ghost fire burning in me.

got the holy ghost fire and i'm burning. down the streets. i got a sweet little battery at your own. in a caddy with me. [Music]. i got a sweet little patio. [Music].

i got a whole lot of product for my holy. ghost mama she making sweet eyes with me. don't let me down i'll swing home. oh a sweet mama don't let me down. [Music].

[Music]. if you knew the truth about me ain't no. way in hell girl. you'd stay. have you disappointed a woman in your. life riley mal. oh have i i definitely have.

and how do you feel about it now and now. that some time has passed. i would say pretty great because she. wasn't the one. and in hindsight how do you know that. she wasn't. i think it was just the feeling i just. had a strong feeling she wasn't the one. but at the time he had a feeling she was. huh oh of course. and what was it you think leading you. down that down that path to thinking she.

was do you think it was naivety do you. think it was. um sensualness you know do you think it. was uh. the devil what do you think it was. really no. i think she just um i don't know she. just. she was acting really different and odd. and. um like what was she doing like what do. you mean like walking like sleepwalking. or something. well apparently what i was told is that. um she's pregnant i was like haha.

what um so then i. fell in love for a pregnant woman pretty. much and i had no idea because she. wasn't showing yet so it was it was very. early in the stage. and i i literally had no idea that. pregnancy the first three months they. can trick you. that's the thing about leeway that's. called leeway riley. and that's where you know a woman will. have a certain amount of time they can. still trick another man. they get pregnant over here they get.

pregnant with jerry. and then they telling lance oh i love. you you know i love you come. you know spray in me and then they trick. you and say oh yeah you you know. you must have a strong seed i got that. six month baby. you know i got that little hatchling. right here six months. you know that that little premature bad. boy and he comes out weighing. a pound pound and a half some of these. children now. you know half the wombs out there they.

you know you see a womb. up close on camera and the windows are. busted out in it. half these women out here they got you. know they got cardi b blaring out of the. damn. second floor of their womb you can't. even know you don't even know what's. going on anymore. you know it's all people's thought and. people you know somebody's. you know you hear somebody stealing a. person jumping off a rooftop. of the damn womb and you're like what is. going on here. but that's where we are right now a lot.

of these pre-packaged wombs a lot of. you know these uh prefab. you it used to be back in the old days. riley a woman had a decent womb in her. you know about it you heard about it. yeah definitely. and then now you get these lady they got. the dams you know you don't know if it's. a womb or a damn ziploc bag in there. you don't know it's not as reliable as. it once was you back in the day they had. a woman at a damn concrete womb it was. something.

you know that a bird's nest in the. corner they had it was there was more. there was something there there was. something. had a doorbell on it you know it was a. damn real place. and now you got these you know they got. somebody smoking on the porch you don't. even know i got the guy. so it's just it's a different time man. it is a different time what's going on. um what's going on.

i was thinking the other day about. about racism because obviously i think. about it a lot. and we've discussed it before on here. riley. would you agree with that. well i think here's what i'm thinking is. nowadays you see a lot of children a lot. of mixed children.

you know you see somebody and we talked. about it last a couple weeks ago there's. somebody's japanese and uh. and filipino you know. or you see somebody that's um you know. from delaware. and also somebody that's uh malaysian. you know malware they'll call them or. whatever. but when i was young they called a mix. oh look at that little mix fella. you know you'd see a kid he'd have a.

white body one black leg. you know you'd see a kid who had a. little you know maybe he was ten percent. uh you know maybe he was ten percent. um pinoy. and he'd have one kind of lean eye you. know. it was just different man you'd see you. know but they call a mix so that little. fella's mix look at him. you know you'd see a little uh you see a. black kid but he'd have long blonde hair.

you know and he'd perm his own hair at. night. he's like oh damn he's something you. know. so it was just a different time people. were more mixed but i'm thinking that. because there's still some racism out. there. you know and i'll name a couple of. groups that do not get along really well. or they get along well but there's still. some tension that's a better way to say. it. black and white. chinese and black.

also mexican and black in prison. okay and this is all stuff that i've. heard from verified people. and the rumor is black versus alien. or extraterrestrial et's. you know i have a lot of black friends. that have told me that there is. low key beef between extraterrestrials.

and. the urban community um. do you know any rally any ra what groups. that have racial tension. um. japanese and germans there you go. and there you go right from the little. horse's mouth right there you heard it. and where'd you hear about it um in.

school for one. okay but also for another you know a few. of my friends that are german. sorry about that i have. an email account but here's what i'm. thinking is the one. the way we get to the future because you. see a lot of these fellas now a lot of. these ladies that are doing well when. it's. mixed culture you got your patrick. mahomes is out there. this guy i mean who knows what he's. doing this dude do anything he wants.

you got who's somebody that's mixed that. does well riley. um me. who else i'm trying to think of a female. there's definitely other people. but here's what i'm saying is that this. i think eventually all the ra. every race will be mixed in two three. centuries you're gonna have everybody is. gonna be. part everything and then that's when. everything gets unlocked you know like.

we kind of unlock some of the key to the. universe. when you get to that. you know that kind of captain planet um. type [ __ ] basically. because here's the thing that's the. thing it's a magic deal. because everybody's still you know. people still kind of cornering off for. their respect. people still blocking out posting up for. their own races a lot. and um i think the the key to it all is.

is once you get all of that. all of the rate once it's all mixed. completely. and you get that you know japonatric. mahomes basically when you get that full. it's almost like if you took around a. cup at a united nations meeting. you know or even just a hand you put. your hand out like that. hit everybody ejac into your hand at a. uh. you in rally or something or a mixed.

event. and you mix all of that up and you. should put that [ __ ] in the oven on high. for about. three hours bro i bet when you open it. up. you got it just a big bunt cake that. would never ever be racist. and i believe that a thousand percent. man. so i'm just trying to think outside of. the box you know i'm just trying to. think of things that could. be this be the end game.

you know i'm just trying to think of the. things that would be the end game out. here. i got to let you know that today's. episode is brought to you by. blue chew do you have a hard time taking. pills like me. if you're like me you'll get all your. vitamins in one hand. in the morning 12 16 different you know. pills and little nodules. you know hell i'll even put a. suppository in there and take it through. the throat. i'm a bad man.

and you get that stack i'll put them in. my mouth and just hit them with one big. glass of water. try to do them all at once. but if you're uh if you have a hard time. taking pills like me you're not alone. that's why you need to get the only. sildenafil in tata latfl. chewables by visiting bluechew.com. if you like sex or uh or just even just. or even just jerking yourself off when. you're extremely hard.

then you will love blue chew. blue chew you get the first. chewables for the bedroom that's right. bluechew.com affiliated physicians work. with you to find the dosage. and active ingredient that is best for. you. they're not going to put you on a 98. octane if you only gotta if you get if. you're running on a. transmission that can only handle a 70. octane. they don't want you so hard you can't. even hug anybody.

sometimes you see somebody so erect they. can't even hug someone. because they just they overdosed them. with the wiener hitters. you know they just next to you know they. got a job as a scarecrow. and they still haven't been laid because. the doctors are overdosing you. it only takes a few minutes to connect. with a bluechew.com affiliated. physician and if you qualify you get. prescribed online quickly. there's no in-person doctor visit no. awkward conversation.

no waiting in line at a pharmacy ships. directly to your door in discreet. packaging. here's a great deal for you guys visit. bluechew.com. and get your first order free when you. use promo code. theo just pay five dollars shipping. that's. b l u e c h e w. dot com promo code t-h-e-o. i remember one time just being and i.

don't know what had gone on. i think somebody come through town with. a new dish a new. you know a new uh type of maybe. mexican food or something you know a new. spice or something. because i grew up in a time people would. come through town something would come. through town it would hit everybody. you know i remember a bad hit of lsd a. bad uh. batch of lsd came through our town and. nobody could. spell anything nobody could you know a. fire batch or the kids would call it now.

a fire ass. batch of lsd came through town and. people couldn't. spell people couldn't i remember one one. type of drug came through town people. couldn't tie their shoes in our town for. half a month. people walking around just you know. people having to wear slippers a lot. you'd see a working man an electrical. man out there in slippers. you see people walking into the mine. with their you know shoes untied just. couldn't. it was a different time it was a way.

different time. uh what else i remember heavy golf. balls somebody sold a batch of heavy. golf balls they'd. whenever they got them made they were. too heavy. and so suddenly all the men in our town. they were hitting ball hit doing golf. but they couldn't. the scores were low take a man 11 shots. to do a par four. you know men out there crying men start. drinking. abusing their wives and lying. you know so i grew up in a time where uh. a rare product or a.

miss fan they used to call it. mismanufacturement. would trouble a society would ruin a. small town. ruin a small town and then i remember. yeah a certain a rare spice or something. maybe a native i don't know what. happened maybe someone's in the water. biola. you know people are just damn erect. god people were erect i mean you'd have. a you know. you'd have a bird laying right on your. front.

for no reason you know a dog would just. come run at you and just grab you by the. front. and it was just. i mean it was just insane. you know it was just insane. but you got to be careful you got to be. careful and get the right dose. for your peen baby you run high on that. dose man you would i mean you will. just i mean your lips get hard you can't.

close your eyes i've taken some pills. that'll. i mean that'll make a damn cry. you know make you cry man. uh what else do we have man let's get. into um. well we had a couple calls man and i had. a lot of nice calls after last week's. episode but we we got some calls people. come through. uh with some different calls and verbal. calls right here. as always the hotline 985-664-9503.

let's get into that theo man hey. we're calling out here really close to. covington. hello man and covington that's my. hometown. where'd you do did you know i was from. somewhere raleigh. i did not know exactly where. well i am from covington louisiana do. you know what it's famous for.

cheese oh wait that's wisconsin. yep nope it is famous for. tallest statue of ronald reagan in. america. tallest full copper statue of ronald. reagan. you have a favorite statue. can't say i do. you gotta have one man you should get. one i like uh i'll tell you a couple of.

mine you're welcome to board if you need. but. there's one in um there was the tallest. bob hope statue. and that was in uh duran i believe it. was. duran illinois can you look that up. actually do you mind really now. um i hate to put you to work there but. you got to do something you know um. tallest bob hope statue peoria illinois. has a. richard pryor statue that i believe is.

full pewter or maybe 70. pewter or something and they quit. putting copper in a lot of statues. because a lot of homeless and uh. drug addicts or da's will. chip it out and uh and sell it and smoke. it. smoke uh drugs with the money. so you'll you know you do a copper. statue. and then next you know it only has one.

arm and they got you know 11 more. you know 11 more people smoking crack. near you. and you're just wondering how it all. financially made sense what do you have. a tallest bob hope statue. any information oh you wanted bob hope. i looked up the statue of hope in uh. friendship. indiana oh okay what is that. it is a private memorial. or monument displayed in a graveyard or. cemetery hope is one of the seven.

virtues of the christian religion. so it's literally just about hope oh. that's beautiful not bob hope. but okay well that's close enough man. if you get that bob hope intel let us. know. so yeah but i appreciate it fellow what. i'm telling you is down he called from. covington louisiana and that's. have the world's stall uh stall a statue. of ronald reagan and that's 10 feet tall. unprecedented ronald. people refer to it locally or the you. are onward.

we just want to say hope you're doing. good we appreciate everything we just. made it to god. uh keep everything on the top shelf man. we love you later. amen and they just made it through the. storm down there in louisiana storm. delta. and that's where we're at now we got. airlines sponsoring the storms. what that's how it is now this next. storm brought to you by. entergy this next storm. brought to you by taskrabbit. here's a storm here's a tornado.

brought to you by bratches candies. do you like branches get you some. and next thing you know your house is on. its ass. that's what it's coming to it's coming. to. natural disasters sponsored by. companies okay. here's your craft macaroni and. earthquakes brother.

you want some of that rabies oh this. strand. it's fierce it's just as. fierce as the new spotify. that's i'm just telling you what's next. guys. it's all for sale now it's all for sale. but i'll say this about louisiana and. i'm hyped up i'll tell you i'm hyped up. you know and i'm tired of sometimes you. know i'm not tired of anything but. sometimes i'm hyped up and sometimes i'm.

not. sometimes i have a different mood and. i'm hyped up today. you know we're supposed to have a. trucker and we don't have a trucker. we're supposed to have a trucker and we. don't have a trucker. okay so that's where i'm at i'm handling. it. i'm moving forward.

but dude every time i'm afraid to even. call people in louisiana anymore when i. call home man everybody's hiding from a. storm. oh what's going on we under a blanket. right now. we got 40 of those weighted blankets you. know we riding it out. yeah we having a party we just you know. we got. five handles of tito's. you know hell the dog's having a damn. jello shot right now. we out here at my cousins we riding it.

out. we driving to austin that i feel like. the only thing. living in louisiana is basically like. playing hide and go seek with the. weather that's it. it's just like you and mother nature in. a game of red rover that's what's going. on when you live down there in louisiana. on the gulf coast. we packing everything up. i'm like y'all just get y'all just moved. in yeah we moving out. the rain's coming.

oh man bless you guys i'm glad you guys. made it through it. i'm glad you guys made it through it man. and thanks for the update and um. and you know it gets me remember about. four. you that rain riley i do. it's cool huh yeah that's it's a lot. that's a lot man that's cool.

that's one thing as different man about. living here instead of living in. california. predominantly anyway he's just feeling. that weather calm. in california if there's weather you. feel like it's part of a movie set. you're just. because it's always the same the. weather's always nice so you get. something a little different. you feel like somebody just cute it was. part of like the producer just sent it. or director just. oh send in the uh let's do five mile. five mile per hour winds.

yeah can you raise the wind and send a. bird. let's send up send two birds yeah it's. spring. that's what it feels like out there in. california if something comes through. that it's all designed. but here you get a natural piece of. something. and it's nice man you remember that. there's a bigger director out there. there's mother nature's out there. and that bad [ __ ] is union and she is. uh. she's doing whatever she wants now.

because she has tenure and she's not. worried about getting fired she gets a. two-hour lunch break. even though she only has a five-hour. work day so but. anyway uh thanks for that call man riley. now you got any information on that uh. bob hope statue i do. so it says that bob hope may be. something of a forgotten figure as a los. angeles times writer said in a november. 29th story. about a new biography on late comedian. hope entertainer of the center okay what. about the statue bubba.

there is a nine foot five inch tall. fiberglass and intimate. statue that has stood for 34 years. in uh rockford rockford illinois yes sir. wow yeah man that's beautiful now. something this yes something you see. different places small towns like to do. that and like to honor something. tall a statue bob hope did he ever go. see it does it say.

and there you go ladies and gentlemen. that's riley mao right there all right. let's take uh. let's take another call that came in. here um. this was from actually the new jersey. show and this fella came uh. came through and he sent in a video. actually. and this fellow named dan romeo yo. what's up. theo so um here we go. kind of hard to see because of this. camera angle but. and if you can see on the video here. they got video.

and he sent us video and video basically. just like a million pictures at once man. right here we got dan romeo hitting us. up and he just showed us if you can see. on the video here he showed us he. he's a wheelchair man this man he's that. bionic. fella you know he's that wheely wheelie. hit man. this dude could go off a ramp and be. like that man and be wild. because of this camera angle but my. name's dan i was that dude in the uh. wheelchair at your late show in jersey.

that [ __ ] was funny as [ __ ] i don't. think we expected anything less he. killed it up there. gave thanks brother i appreciate you. daniel we saw a good laugh during this. pandemic time take our minds off this. [ __ ] for a little bit and uh [ __ ] it. dude. me and you start traveling around this. globe [ __ ] up people. [ __ ] up family barbecues and. three-legged racing and smoking them. both stay on our side of the leg you. know what i'm saying but uh. i sure do brother and i appreciate it. man i appreciate you with this call.

and yeah if you got no legs man i got. two i'll give you one man we both each. stand there on it. like a flamingo you know maybe have us. you know share a cigarette or something. or i'm not smoking now but you could. take some hits and blow it into my mouth. as long as our lips don't touch you feel. me onward. yeah man i appreciate the kind words in. the shout out that [ __ ] was unreal all. my buddies and me we all watched the. podcast and we were all they were all. sending me clips because before i got to. watch it and i've. i was like holy [ __ ] this is [ __ ]. unreal.

well i appreciate you being out there. man you know and i never. you know i've always had legs. my whole life and and i didn't plan on. it but i just. you know once i was alive i just had. them. and you know so it's always interesting. when i meet somebody that's. you know that's just that's doing it a. different way.

because i think life is like that. sometimes you get legs sometimes you. don't. you know it's kind of like mounds and uh. almond joy. you know and i got them freaking almonds. bro on me and you uh. and you you know you more the um. [Music]. you more the you roll them without you. know. sand nuts they call it but. uh but anyway i love you man and i. appreciate it and it's good to see your. face here dude because i couldn't see. that well from the stage.

and um next time i come out there do. yeah we'll go do a show maybe we hit the. vaudeville or something. you know i do a flute and you come out. and do something go off a little ramp or. something. you know or maybe we get a trainer. animal to be involved have a little. canary land on you or something. or we have you in a box the whole time. on the stage and then we surprise. everybody at the end. and you wrote you know maybe part of the. box opens up and you roll out. you know and do a uh you know do a.

bottle rocket or do something. some sort of flare activity or something. so a lot of possibilities man. a lot of possibilities uh. else do we got this episode's all over. the place i will say that. um we got this call came in. here we go hey theo this is braden from.

denver colorado hey brayden. and i got a little nephew named braden. who lives over there in um. spanish fork in. uh alabama let's hear more um. with all the negativity that's been. going on in the news and. the pandemic i just wanted to let you. know about something positive that came. about. my childhood friends that he's in middle.

school and high school. we're all over the country and not for. us to get together but. because of all the extra time. everybody's gotten everybody working. remotely. we have set up a dungeons and dragons. campaign. that meets up uh once a week. so every thursday we get together and we. hunt dragons and do all sorts of fun. stuff together and uh. look i think oh man.

i don't even know how to get into this i. think it's beautiful you guys are. getting together man do i think the. dungeons and dragons. always never really didn't know how to. handle that vibe. you know you'd always be you'd see. people meeting up in the back of a quiz. nose or something at night. and some guy's got a purple beard and. he's got you know his ladies got them. big. big big beefy tits you know them big. freaking them slush guppies dog them.

just damn like a damn. just big ol tits you know. kind of tits you hear somebody rev a. truck when you see them just. right when you see them like damn. you know that titties got octane you. know just you feel that titty. a little you see that t you know like uh. the kind of breast is so big it could. tell you're looking at it. so you look the other way out of sheer. just embarrassment or you know.

mild shame but men meeting up to play. dungeons and dragons at night man i'll. tell you this i remember when i was in. junior high. and i was good in junior high and. and i saw they had some kids playing it. outside one day. and you'd see every you know one of the. kids looked like rapunzel and it was a. boy. you know and he'd have his hair braided. into a. you know into the other kid was wearing. his hair braid as a damn scarf and they. were all it was just wild [ __ ].

you'd have some guy would have his nose. his septum pierced then he'd have a. spare key hanging off it. you know to get into school and all of. them hated gym class these were the kids. who did not like gym class and i saw. uh a big goal we didn't get a lot of. goals you know seagulls pelicans. we didn't get a lot of them flying over. campus when i was in junior high but. every now and then. the winds would switch over there over.

the um. poncho train and a pelican would come. come by and i saw a pelican defecate. onto a damn uh. dungeons and dragons game. and uh that [ __ ] made me feel good man. honestly when it happened. may the pelicans. be ever in your favor my friend.

what about the news ryan why don't you. peep the news and uh get it ready for us. i'm going to. tell everybody about one of our sponsors. right here. and i want to tell you guys that um. that there's something called fairy. and if you're not familiar with it you. should know. with these times right now i feel like. fashion is over. you know you see somebody wearing a. triscuit uh box as a helmet.

you'll see somebody wearing a damn uh. you know you'll see somebody with a mask. made out of a damn uh craft single. in the words of my friend trevor wallace. that's what he says you know he saw a. man with a. you know wearing a craft single as a. mask. you know people are different there's. different trends so how are we supposed. to know what to shop for. right now well don't buy for. now buy for forever.

for timeless pieces that will last a. lifetime of where. check out farity farady. farady makes high quality comfortable. clothing. for life that's right high quality. comfortable clothing for life. you know gone are the days when you go. get you a little singlet or something. get you a new panty oh i don't have a. panic get you one boy. get you a little panty bucko.

every piece is made to last a lifetime. you're gonna need it guys the end of the. world is right around the corner. what are you gonna wear something that. will last a month. f no this company is run by the fairty. family. and they are very hands on in ensuring. everything they do. lives up to their values the fairty. style. is well it's one of its own.

but it's one that you'll find. comfortable and one that you'll find. almost legendary. in fact the legend collection is. legendary it's the softest coziest. shirt i've ever worn. it's a good thing the quality stands up. to everyday wear because i want to wear. it every day. that's right i want to wear my farady. every day. buying forever is the smartest way to. shop right now. and now's the smartest time to do it. right now you can get 25. off your next farady purchase when you.

go to faradybrand.com. theo that's f a h e. r t y ferrity brand. dot com slash theo. for twenty five percent off fairty. brand.com. theo rally meow hit us with a news item. brother. well in a british wildlife park they.

have removed five cursing parrots from. public. okay when you say cursing parrots what. do you mean like parrots that they're. what. casting spells on on public. i mean that they have foul language oh. vowels have foul language okay. and any other information they're giving. you um it just says that the birds. shared the ability to curse up a storm. something they engaged in quite often.

okay so they're doing it and where is it. happening you said. in a british wildlife park yep. yep you know when i was young raleigh. you'd see a um. when i was young you'd see a mobile zoo. was popular. you know and that was a man had a nice. van or an extended van even sometime a. church van. and this man you know a man would have a.

mobile zoo. and so you know somebody come through. town with a chimp and a uh. a small dolphin in an aquarium or. something in a big van you know and you. you know pay a dollar go see it or. somebody come through roll through with. two chimps and a beagle. and that was maybe 75 you go see the you. know. see them and sometimes the beagle try to. mate with everybody beetle. beagle you know a deranged beagle will. [ __ ] anything.

and that's probably that's practically. scripture man uh. but we had a fella come through town one. time and he had a couple of starlings i. believe. they were birds and um. and they curse you go give them a dollar. half dollar. and they call you the n word call you. the s word. you know call you a jew for a dollar. they call you a jew. and it was just a different time.

uh. it was just a different time you know. when a man when a traveling zoo was more. you know they didn't have as much legal. issues. nowadays some you know you know friend. of mine got bit outside of a bj's pizza. by a damn uh. by a australian shepherd. and that's a lawsuit whereas when i was.

young you'd pay maybe 50 cents for that. so we're living in different times man. um. and i'd be lying if i didn't tell you i. spent a couple dollars over there. because this fellow's little zoo broke. down by us and you get over here in a. starling we'd call you this or call you. that. you know sometime for you know dollar. fifty you could get you know. two n words and a jew out of the guy or. something you know out of the. thing or you know just you know you. could strike up a deal.

and what kind of uh birds were they. riley does it say. um they are the. african african uh grey parrots. okay so that's almost i mean. let's be honest bro if it's african gray. that's almost a black. that's a you know that's an. african-american bird. you know i mean i know there's different. ways to say it and but still it's like. so if they're dropping them bombs is. that you know.

i don't know if that really need if. that's. article worthy you know i get if you got. a white parrot litter or something out. there and he you know you got a toucan. and he's out there just humming in bombs. at people while they're trying to buy a. mouse or whatever. then that to me is risque but. you know this sounds just like nature. kind of figuring itself out. um you know in the 1600s 1700s they used.

to use cows to find uh. like i don't want to say land mines or. but explosives and stuff. not 1700's but like 1800's 1900. and. they'd sent him out there wandering out. there. you know until they. until they detonated it. so you know anything about that that. might have even been a far. asian trick uh raleigh have you had any. have you heard anything about that at. home any uh. on the home front any long to family.

tales or anything like that. i've haven't no any of your family in. any of the wars. iwo jima famous war not that i know of. hmm. you seem like you might have a little. warrior in you. anybody ever told you that um no you. would be the first. that's cool bro thank you. all right let's check out this next call. here that came in. hey what's going on phil this is josh uh.

from missouri and uh man i. i don't know what i should do i just. need some advice so my girl. thank you for calling josh from missouri. or missouri. until my step-dad used to call it. missouri. up mariah and he died actually. let's hear more girlfriend starting only. fans. and uh she's making pretty good money.

but. lately she said she wants to uh she. wants me to be in the videos with her. i just don't know how i feel about that. i mean she says she can make more money. if i'm in them. but i just i don't really want my my. penis and stuff being on camera so i was. just wondering what you would do. and give me some advice and see. gang gang gang bro. and look it's a great question. you know i remember when i was a little.

younger a fella told me hey your penis. ain't made for video. and i gotta say that i agree with that. i think there's some only fan stuff that. you could do that's a little bit. you know risque but not as wicked. you know because i don't know then you. now you got to worry about the lighting. you got to worry about what if people. comment oh look at that.

look at that guy got that little dick. bruh dude two of those. to two people saying ah look at sammy's. got that little dick. you're never gonna be the same after. reading those comments man. so. i don't know raleigh mao what do you. think about that kind of stuff you. subscribe to any of that depravity. i do not then how do you keep off of it. i i just keep off of it.

and do you do you have any trouble. looking at pornography or anything like. that. i don't wow really god. and have you always been that way oh. man and how do you do it you think. i mean i just don't there's not really a. how i just don't.

remarkable buddy okay. speaking of riley mal let's get it here. a call came in right about him. and here we go hey man this is reuben. call from uh greenville south carolina. what's up ruben and you gotta respect a. man named after a sandwich. you gotta respect him. you whether you know a guy named grilled. cheese whitaker. or ruben harper you know where you go.

you know a guy named pb and jay. washington. you got to respect somebody name after a. damn edible. lunch entree onward. i gotta be honest with you man riley mal. just ain't doing it for me uh all my. boys listen my co-workers my buddies. we all listen to your show i love the. boy he's a good boy i was a boy scout he. was a boy scout. he made it farther than i did i got mad. respect for him i'm a christian he's a. christian. you know we're brothers in that sense uh. but i don't uh i mean i'm.

trying to be as nice as possible nicest. guy in the world he sounds like just the. sweetheart. but i don't know for the purposes of. your show if he's lending anything that. uh. let's see he he he bring him a lot to. the table. and i appreciate it ruben i appreciate. the feedback you know this is a feedback. circle here. and people is allowed to feedback and i. don't even. i don't even damn you for it brother i. want to hear what you have to say. and he just says that you know he feels. like you don't really that you don't.

bring a lot to the table rally have. people ever told you that in your life. before or not. oh all the time. all right let's see let's get another. call we had another call that came in. about you and uh let's. see what we can do here about it uh. hi my name is henry i'm in middle school. and well i'm pretty good with the ghost. staff i train. almost every day and i hear that riley's.

asian so that's pretty much a given that. well he's in martial arts so. i challenge him to a duel. uh gang. there you go and i don't even know if we. can legally even listen to a middle ch. uh i don't know how old that child is. and it could be also he could be 18 or. 19. in middle school we had a guy named. larry or mr larry they called him.

eventually. when i was in middle school and he was. he was at least 19. and he could come i remember in the. bathroom we'd be in there urinating. you know just doing water out the front. and uh. he coming and pee right over you into. the urinal. just showing off you know because he was. i mean hell he was fully developed in. his. you know and he just had a damn cannon. on him. he had that freaking god dang he had.

that. you know that 19 year old spout on him. we're all out here just using a. everybody's penis look like a little. igloo something you see on igloo water. cooler. and he shows up with this big dang. lincoln log you know. but anyway uh riley you got a child. right there challenging you. could you beat a child in a contest i. yeah i'm pretty sure i can you think you. can beat that kid's ass honestly henry. um i mean i don't know he he might be.

faking the faking the voice he might be. like a really tough guy. i don't know and how would you approach. it you think. well i mean i would tell him you know. come over to. come over to the middle east and we'll. uh we'll hash it out. okay so there you go you got a real. challenge right there he's saying bring. it over. to the central east you mean. bring it over to the central east it'll. hash it out.

you know and that's tell you right there. people want to d. uh doubt on raleigh mao he'll just he. just offered to beat the [ __ ] out of a. damn middle schooler. so i mean if that ain't. if that ain't beautiful baby i don't. know what is you know especially during. these tough times man. especially during these tough times. i'll tell you what else is good man.

mint mobile breaking up with your old. wireless provider just got a whole lot. easier thanks to mint. mobile you know they were the first. company to sell premium wireless service. online only and now mint mobile is. introducing their unlimited. data plan for just 30 bucks a month. let that sink in a little an unlimited. plan for 30. a month how much is your soon to be x.

wireless company charging you. i mean i'm paying 180 a month for my. line. you know i'm also supporting some of my. family members semi-dead beats but hey. that's that's what we do. for people that hate their phone bill. and are ready to cut ties with. big wireless mint mobile. offers their premium unlimited plan for. just 30 bucks a month. by going online only and eliminating the.

traditional cost of retail mint. mobile passes significant savings on to. you. all plans come with unlimited talk and. text and high-speed data. delivered on the nation's largest 5g. network to get your unlimited wireless. plan for just 30 bucks a month. and get the plan shipped to your door. for free. go to mint mobile dot com slash. t-h-e-o that's m-i-n-t m-o-b-i-l-e. dot com slash theo cut your unlimited.

wireless bill to 30 bucks a month. at mintmobile.com slash theo. all right let's take another call right. here. hey theo this is uh rob from atlanta. what's up rob thank you for the call my. friend and i appreciate you from atlanta. not sure what you're up to this tuesday. but buffalo bills will be in nashville. and if you're free i got an extra ticket. for you man. there's nothing we welcome more to the. bill's mafia than a nice strong mullet.

that can be a full crowd but if you want. to come through and watch josh allen. tear up the titans man let me know. i'd love to see my buddy harrison. phillips over there uh. play over there for buffalo. and he plays buffalo bills football. and i'd love to see him do it so maybe. we'll get out there and they're. undefeated over there both of the teams. both of the team's undefeated zero. losses two teams. that's good football so thank you for.

that. um. what else anything else you want to. share with us riley. um i did see that a man told. snake skin isn't a legitimate face. covering. there you go. [Music]. there you go all right i want to say.

this. man uh we had. a lot of calls last week you know i was. going through a tough time and. and sometimes that's him that i just am. going through a tough time and uh. and i just want to say thanks for the. nice calls and the support. you know i appreciate it um. you know i just have this thing inside. of me where i just i forget. i just i just there's just part of me.

that forgets that people care about me. it just forgets it it's like a. it's almost like a it's like a software. issue. where you know. it just kind of that part of the. the residual effect of people caring. about me just dissipates pretty quickly. um and.

and so it's just a you know i appreciate. a lot of nice reminders that came in and. um and people just sharing some of their. thoughts and so i want to uh. just honor a couple of those man let's. get into it. what's up will thank you for the call. will. and you know i grew up with a fellow. they called will the thrill.

and he invited us over to his house one. time uh for a party and. some fella had just learned a masturbate. in our group. and we didn't know about it he hadn't. just learned he'd known maybe he was. probably. this dude might have been 26 and he was. in a. middle school or junior high. or pre-junior high. and so we're all in a hot tub we're. relaxing you know his birthday party.

and you ever been to a birthday party. for a hot tub riley. well you got to get out more man it was. uh yeah about maybe eight boys sitting. in a hot tub. and and this is in louisiana and if you. have a hot tub in louisiana first of all. you are. obviously clinically not doing well. because that's basically like making. soup it's basically. there's never there's been four cold. days in the history of louisiana.

so to have a hot tub is just it's. delinquent. it's or you're basically making soup out. of whoever you invite to sit in it. so we got a basically an eight child. booyah base going on out there. we got a eight child gumbo brewing out. there and some fella named. cj vicary had learned to. uh you know jerk himself. off and. nothing the rest of us didn't know about.

it. we'd never heard of it we'd never seen. it we'd never even seen a drawing of. somebody. ejaculating. and uh so he's touching his body under. the water. you know being secret of doing secretive. touch. and suddenly when he's about to. ejaculate he pulls his body up out of. the water. and he starts just kind of you know. just ejacking into the little portion of. the little hot tub.

and will this kid will the thrill they. called him grabbed his penis to stop it. because he thought something was bad was. happening to him he was having a bad. reaction or something because he'd never. seen it. so he grabbed it to stop it and like. squeeze it and uh. and the kid punched him kid punched him. right in the neck. and that hurts bro seeing somebody get. punched in the neck man when they. when they're trying to hold on to. somebody else's.

penis for no reason i don't know the. whole thing was just. it was a lot man it was a lot of levels. it was kind of like the odyssey you ever. had the odyssey rally. i have and you it was pretty wild huh. oh yeah yeah very similar to that. and uh anyway man. so i knew a fellow named will man uh. let's hear more thanks for the call. um i'm just listening to your.

uh podcast. you just put out the um one about where. you. you know you want to drink and you know. for me man. i've been in recovery i've got a little. over two and a half years right now. and i absolutely know what you're going. through. um for me it was just feeling miserable. and not having the drugs and the alcohol. to turn to.

and wondering like damn what else you. know i'm going to the gym. i'm going to meetings i'm going to. church i'm doing all these things i'm. doing everything y'all tell me to do. but i still feel you know. down i still wake up i have people i. said. do you wake up happy and they're like. yeah and i said damn. you know i couldn't remember the last. time that i woke up happy. man i can really i i i can relate man.

yeah i don't know i think. you know nobody gets everything every. everybody gets some things. you know some people are you know might. be good at math and some people. you know uh wake up happy. you know some people like uh pudding and. and some people. can't you know can can draw.

you know it's all the way god makes it i. think everything evens out nobody gets. it all. you know somebody's beautiful but they. might be dumb. you know somebody might be dumb but they. could uh. you know but they could teach you how to. sing if you need to. sing real quick. everybody has different capabilities. um and yeah one of my strong suits is. not waking up happy man. it's just waking up at a deficit and.

yeah i can do all the things but. sometimes that's just. my walk in the world and so each day i. have to have. uh or each day i find that a program. if i follow a program then it helps me. um and the best program i've found for. myself is through. 12 step in recovery to battle that daily.

oh here we go again oh i'm not good. enough oh i can't handle this. oh i feel this way it gets me out of me. and gets me onto someone else or on the. god before i can get to myself you know. um but yeah when i meet somebody that. when i meet somebody who wakes up happy. god i'm so envious it's like god. god how do you do. it i mean that's my david blaine right.

there. when i meet somebody who wakes up full. of joy. just wakes up you get that free gift of. joy man. that's beautiful but it gives me. something to work towards man. it gives me a daily battle and i and i. got to be thankful also for that daily. battle even on the days when i lose it. um.

you know because if we woke up and just. had everything man it would. i don't i probably i don't know if i'd. want that. let's take another call man here we go. yo theo what's up man this is uh jay. i'm from new york what's up jay. thank you for calling man onward all. right i'm just calling i was just. listening to your last. episode with the asthma uh as.

mr asthma attack uh yeah that driver. that fella had that ass and we had to. pull over so we could you know. you know so we could lung up off the. freaking turnpike gang driving the uber. freaking pulling over to breathe some of. this funk. breathe some of this funk air that we. have in the new york new jersey every. year. um you seemed a little down you seemed a. little depressed. um i just wanted to kind of reach out. and let you know um you did move.

to nashville tennessee um. so it's a whole nother area of the. country coming from l.a where it's more. sunny more sunshine. yadda yadda but um i just want to let. you know a lot of people around the fall. time start to get depressed. uh due to um you know nature the leaves. are. the leaves are falling off the trees and. uh. the trees are giving off that pheromone. of you know dying. and it's it's natural man it's natural. and you have a lot on your plate.

you know you've been clean you've been. sober i'm a big fan of the show gang. gang. and um i just want to let you know man. this is a normal it's a normal thing to. be depressed at this time of the year. especially moving from another you know. from a city to another city so. um you know just hold in there man. springtime we'll be back around. all right let's take another call here. yo. what up theo this is luis. uh just getting to your adult asthma. episode and.

you know it's funny because you know i. usually stay on top. but i kind of fell behind the episodes. and. you know you're saying you know god does. for you what you can't do for yourself. and. you know i needed to hear that because. you know as you're doing. your sobriety i'm also dealing with. what i have to do and you know the clerk. telling you that you can't go to the. restaurant. was almost synonymous with.

my cell phone dying as i was texting my. dealer. you know i've been sober now for one. month and. it's been the hardest month so far. i can't sleep i can't eat uh. but you know listening to your podcasts. only reassured me that you know. what i'm doing is the right thing and. you know it's not easy it's not going to. be easy and you know when you deal with. these stressful moments. and these instances where you just want.

to binge it's. it's hard man wow man yes. yeah it's hard yeah it's hard i just got. to remember that it's hard. sometimes you know and i just. you know it just means a lot man i. appreciate it i really do. and um yeah your phone dying while. you're texting your dealer that's wild. what a blessing on it's crazy. and yeah for some people and some people.

say well hey man just have a drink or go. party one night and let the edge out and. that's fine that's definitely an option. but i just when i when i don't want to. do that option. and some people don't have a problem if. you don't have a problem. then it's then it then more power to you. you know i'll tickle your cousin while. you do a line off his ass bro you know. what i'm saying dude i'm out there. i'm out there bruh you know.

i'll freaking you know. you know i'll give you a stepmother a. zerbert bruh. while she's doing a line bro or. something whatever we got to do you know. i i mean. but i just if i go out like that then i. who. i don't know if i'm coming back. sometimes because i like to ride. that dust you feel me. you know what i'm saying i like to all. aboard on that dust donkey son.

that's where i'm at if you find me bruh. i'll be out there on that dust. i'll i'll freaking i'll snort a ring off. a saturn baby you feel me. i'll snort a ring off of saturn son. so i just got to be careful with it. but man i'm glad i'm glad you got a. month man it makes me feel good for you. and just. not feel good for you it just makes me.

feel ha i'm just happy that you feel. good for you. yeah man because that's powerful it's. just powerful. um so. but yeah man thank you guys for all the. kind messages and stuff and what have i. done this week to take care of myself a. little bit better. um well for one i was coming down off. probably off of testosterone i would. i've been taking testosterone. um that trt replacement stuff like that. and so there probably could have been.

some side effects of that. um you know. uh but this week i've been just trying. to stay more uh. busier with my running um. working with a new therapist um. making a gratitude list every day and. really sticking to it. and even recording my gratitude list on. audio in the senate. to some of my buddies who also make them. and having them send it back you know no.

homo bro or yes homo whatever. but uh that's the kind of stuff that. that this past week has been saving me. um and just keeping me in a. and uh keeping my spirit more. comfortable so. yeah i was born with an uncomfortable. spirit. you know i was born with an. uncomfortable spirit. um so. but yeah i appreciate just so much a lot. of kind words man.

a lot of kind words and um it just meant. a lot so thank you. all right well uh we will. we're looking also for unique characters. to come in so follow tpw instagram. and we'll let you know some possible you. know. um unique type character type people. that we would like to have on the show. and unique uh humans. and um and we'll do what we can. and you know we made it through it.

you know that's one thing today we. rolled with the punches. um you know we were expecting to have. female trucker in and it didn't happen. and we wish her well and hope that she's. safe wherever she is. and uh we just do what we can. and. any parting words you have riley. no not at all.

and there you have it ladies and. gentlemen we'll leave out the way we. came in. this is paul coffin with some good music. holy ghost fire. [Music]. i got the holy ghost fire and it's. burning me.

i got the holy ghost fire burning in me. got the holy ghost fire and i'm burning. [Music]. down. i got a sweet little patty at your own. in a caddy with me. [Music]. i got a sweet little yeah.

[Music]. i got a whole lot of product for my holy. ghost mama she making sweet eyes with me. don't let me down.

of my face. [Music]. [Music]. i. [Music]. [Music]. if you.

don't let me down. don't let me down. me down.

you.