Elevator Baby | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #302

all right check check baby. chicken check checkers. check your neck that's what they used to. say a lot. check your neck and people would go like. this. or run a cheese check they say it run a. cheese check on your daddy because. you know my dad was real old when i was. born. and when i was young he was even older.

and the older i got the older he got and. i was kind of chasing him. you know age chasing and then he died. but. um a lot of times we do pizza. you know i was on different sporting. teams or my sister was on a little. sporting team you know. a little lesbian group and then they. would. have a pizza party it used to originally. it was if you won. if you won your team got a pizza party.

and then that evolved to even if you got. second. and then it became hell if your team. even if you even had a team. you you'd see some kids just we're all. wearing the same jersey never played. anything eating pizza. so it became really just every anybody. could do it. but they used to say run a cheese check. on your daddy because my dad was so old.

when he'd have pizza he could you know. the cheese comes off that pie. when you release that slice off that. circle. you really get a lot of that you know. those little little kind of like a. cheese web kind of like a lot of little. cheese little string cheeses. that go from the slice back to that. motherland. that master pie circle and so a lot of.

times. you know my dad he didn't know what the. hell was going on. he didn't know you know who was who was. his kid or who was black or who was. white or anything. i mean he didn't know if you were a car. or a person so i remember one time he. put a half a gallon of gas in the back. of my pants. so you just uh you know. daddy would have have him a slice of. that pizza. and he'd have cheese just draped all. over him.

and some of the kids would say hey hey. hey hey run a cheese check on your daddy. and you'd have to just kind of you know. check on his face like that. you'd have to do that dang dang da dang. dang. and cheese check your daddy make sure. you don't have any just cheese just. draping off his face. you know like somebody's trying to speed. lunk off his face or something and. so you know you don't you just want to. make sure you know it was kind of that. deal but um.

yeah check check chicken chick. that's a popular term they say chicken. chick. because a chicken you know a lot of. people don't think about a chicken. think about a chicken. now what a chicken. you uh seeing a chicken used to be like. like like coming across a mac daniels. bro when you're driving. and you you see that you know you see. the the arches he said oh damn that's a.

mcdaniel's right there. that's the same in the old days if you. came across a chicken in the 1600. 1700s that's like pulling up on a. restaurant. you know you're riding with your family. you guys are in the uh. you know riding in a horse cart or. whatever you see a chicken they say dad. dad. stop there dad stop at that restaurant. and the restaurant's just over there.

it's like. and y'all go over there and slice and. dice. and mom does her thing and that's family. dining that's 1600. family dining man and the chicken dies. but hey. somebody's got to go man and that's. called. that chicken chick happy autumn. we're running right here we're running. up on the heels of winter. if you if you listen you can you can you.

can really feel. if you listen with your emotions you can. really. feel us just kind of lapping up onto the. on the heels of winter just nipping at. the heels. just nipping at the heels of that icy. [ __ ]. miss winter and she's doing her thing.

but we coming at her baby. let's get into the episode. this is a little matthew causey all. with runs in the family. amen baby.

can't save. tell em baby catch me on grinder huh. [Music]. there you go matter maddie. time. there ain't no stopping the sailing sun.

i can't wash the sink from the heads and. maybe is in the family. [Music].

amen maddie you can cut me down. but the roots run deep. i ain't gonna die when they bury me. i wonder what i'll do when i die you. know. if i lay there if i'll probably. i'll probably try to sneak over and just. tickle somebody else that's been laying. there.

piss somebody off man hey hey. cut out all the [ __ ]. i wonder what what my neighbors would be. like where i get buried that's why. you know people want to get buried by. their family but you got to think about. that. you gotta think about that. you wanna get buried you know. i mean it's nice to be by your mom for. like an hour. but i don't know if you want to be.

buried right by her. it's nice to be by your uncle bruh but. if he you know. if he gets into gambling or [ __ ] it. ain't fun. you know it's just it's like who where. do you who do you want to be i almost. wish that they had a um. they had a uh funeral parlor that had a. kind of a 10 disc changer. remember them cd changers them 10 disc. changers. that they had one of those in the ground.

and everybody was on kind of a lazy. susan and you just got to kind of. you know just do like a little bit of. speed dating kind of while you're in the. dirt. just somewhere you could cross paths. with with different. with some difference. because yeah for the first hour or two. it'd be cozy being with your folks but. man. about 10 p.m and after they shut down. they saw you know a couple of. episodes at law order svu and they're. turning down the lights you're going to.

want to howl a little. you're going to want to get out. you're going to want to throw one of. your bones into the distance. and let some dirty dog go get it. you know that's one thing about skeleton. that's why i think. if skelet if ghosts were made you know. if they had real skeletons. dogs would attack them all the time. so you got to think about that right.

there. i mean you know you couldn't send a. skeleton real far without a dog getting. that [ __ ] right by the neck. or by the cossacks or whatever or the. occipital or whatever i don't remember. you know i only got a b in eighth grade. in uh science but. you know shout out to science bro we had. a um. when i was young we had a science. teacher and he used to do uh. deltoids at the gym.

and he would do uh deltoids all the time. and he would also at the same time eat. altoids. and so his big thing he would get you to. come over by him and he'd be doing. deltoids and he'd be. and he'd blow a little bit of mint smoke. out of his mouth. and be doing altoids he'd have nine. altoids in his mouth. and i'm not saying that i mean i don't. know what the ph balance is. of somebody's breath if they got nine. altoids in him but.

i mean you like a damn christmas chimney. at that point you running a lot of heat. i feel like. and shout out to that man mr cave man. and he went to jail for uh. you know dating underage ladies but. before that he was a good man i'll say. that. and i think he served his time too so. it's you know. and he looked good in a tank top i'll. say that [ __ ]. you know i'm an adult and he's an adult. but hell he looked good in a damn tank.

top. what's going on we just had um. the death man in we had frank giles in. here. and i tell you you know it's it's. interesting when you meet a man. that's that close to the dead. and you right there you wit him. you know it's interesting when you when. you meet a man who who. who who's carried a you know that that's. that 15 inch baby. and tucked him into a car seat next to.

him and driven him over there to the. death grounds. it's interesting to be that close to. that man and just kind of just hear his. feelings. hell i asked him straight up i said let. me put my hand on your chest. you know let me feel the drum of the of. of of of of death. because when he walks in the room baby. that's it you were to go order for the. lord son you it's time to box you up.

and so yeah i guess i start thinking. about that around this time of year. what's it gonna be like. when they close when they roll it up one. more time. you know i tried to fake my death when i. was about 20. i'll be honest. and my friend paul called a couple. people and said hey you know theo's dead. and. and the [ __ ] the crazy [ __ ] was none of. them even told anybody. so we planted a couple seeds and that.

[ __ ] didn't even grow bro. and then we forgot about it you know we. was doing weed we was doing cocaine. daddy you know. i mean i was anyway i don't know if he. was but. you know my favorite type of weed was uh. cocaine you'd see me snorting a bowl of. weed you know. get that little that thanksgiving for. your snout daddy i'm talking about. cocaine. dude i remember i had some i had some.

good cocaine one time over there in. tucson arizona. hell i put two grams in my car was out. of gas and that [ __ ] ran for a half an. hour. the headlights wouldn't work but hey you. can't have it all. daddy you can't have it all. and that's god man. what else is going on uh did a show last. night out here. out here in the central east i want to. thank everybody that came out this. beautiful time man. you know and just good to just be in a.

room with people and laughing and. feeling good. you know and really just feeling good. and um. um yeah we had a nice time a couple of. young bucks around here got up and did. some comedy. to start the show off you know i was all. i was on the show and. you know they're only the the the the. crowds here at half capacity. so they're you know only allowed about. 160 people or something 150 people in. the showroom.

so it's kind of nice because it's almost. like you get to practice but. it's still a regular show for everybody. that's there and. um you know it'll just have to make do. for now. you know i'm grateful to have just a. spot to get out there man it really is. uh it really is a good deal. but yeah we had the death man in here we. had him right here. and it's crazy i mean if say fast. forward 40 years from now 80 years from. now when i die.

or we're not you know go on. i should have told i should have put my. order in i should have said hey frank i. want this you know i want this and this. i want you know i want the i want the. strawberries and whipped cream. under one under each arm when i'm in. that basket daddy. and i want that wicker casket so you. could still still smell me. so the ladies could still get a off of. my bro loan. you feel me.

but i don't know it's tricky how do you. want to go. cremated is too much i don't want to be. you know i worked one day as a damn uh. chef's apprentice over at. um uh. over at road house cafe or whatever that. [ __ ] hole was um. link lock i don't know what it was dude. they were supposed to be selling char. grilled steaks but. the fda showed up and popped them and.

got them they were selling um. they were selling illegal uh meat. you know they had to hit a raft in there. they had to hit a pony or something. you know some of the [ __ ] they were. selling was illegal meat. and that's the second time in my life. i've been popped at a joint where. they're selling illegal. you know i was out in tucson arizona and. they had this little chef fella. named little scotty and they popped him. and he wore a big ass hat.

too heavy for his neck and you would see. him kind of like this a little bit. and that the hat was so damn heavy it. would close his eyelids. man but you know when you're a chef they. don't give you like a medallion. you know some things that give you a. medallion if you do well. but a chef they give you a big hat looks. kind of like an. like an atomic bomb explosion shape. and he was so damn proud and i think his.

daddy thought he was bigger and his. daddy hadn't seen him in a while and his. daddy got him. too heavy of a hat for his little neck. and so he had that big bastard on there. and he could barely keep his eyes open. with that heavy [ __ ] on there. but they uh yeah they got but they were. selling illegal seafood and i remember. the fda showed up. and popped everybody dude you know. some dude asking me if i know about. shrimp [ __ ] i don't know about [ __ ] i'm. a bus. boy okay and they need bread on eight.

right now. so don't try to tangle me up all in this. little mermaid [ __ ]. but anyway i'm sorry i don't mean to get. all fired up but um. but yeah we out here that's what i'm. saying and i forgot to tell you a little. bit more about that song on the way in. that was runs in the family. by matthew kazial. talented young felon we'll have the link. there to uh. to his uh to his sound so you can go get.

a hold of him. and see what's going on with him and. what's going on with you i'd love to. know i'd love if you guys could hit the. hotline. 985-664-9503. and just let me know who's listening to. the to to the show. if you work at a kindergarten say that. say hey this is rhonda. you know i work at a kindergarten you. know. i like skittles or i like to you know. blow a winston every now and then.

you know and i like to listen to the. podcast or. you know this is uh timothy. and i'm 40 but i still go by that by by. the name timothy. and um you know i'm a janitorial i do. janitorial by the church. and i listen to the podcast hit the. hotline man let us know who's listening. just so i know what's going on out there. i think it's raining outside.

wow i don't know if y'all can hear that. but that's really rain. wow. see i think i would like a cat when i go. i'd like a casket that every now and. then comes up to the surface you could. get hit by little rain you know. um we got a lot of great uh responses.

that came in about people talking about. rejection. and you know i i i i'm thankful for the. stories man a lot a lot of just people. sharing rejection. and uh and we'll get into it in just a. minute and i'll talk about rejection uh. but first i gotta let you know about. magic spoon and magic spoon is. i mean it's not what you think it is man. or it might be.

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frost or flaking your face off and stuff. you have. as much cyril as you could have and you. cry until somebody let you out. but um but it was nice man. and it's nice to go back to those times. in your life and have you sit at night. and have you a bowl. you got the baby put to bed you know. little abigail's put to bed. you know you clean that diaper off and. little abigail's resting you know. or a little lance or whatever his name. is little lancelot. you know you took the chain mail off of.

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man that rain it's really coming in man. i don't know if i keep talking about it. you can't hear you guys aren't even. believing man but this rain man. it sounds like about 30 german shepherds. pissing on a tin. roof man it's this is a hearty batch you. know. this that kind of rain where it's like. you've been in a conference for three. hours and the guy wouldn't stop. doing the power points and you didn't.

want to leave because you're already on. you know kind of probation or light. probation with the with the boss. so you waited till the end of the deal. and then you've. chirped out of that out of that crown. plaza uh. showroom and hit that urinal. baby you know i wish they came out with. a product where you could you could. throw it in the urinal and they would. clog it up for about. two minutes you then whenever you. urinated you could see how much you did.

because that's one thing i don't like is. um. you do urine but you don't know how much. i mean what's the point of even. you know what's the point of even. pissing if you don't know how much you. did. you know what's the point what's the. point of of making urine if you don't. know how much you just made. so if we can find a way to briefly kind. of clog up a toilet. just long enough for you to kind of have.

a little bit of pride in yourself. i think people would feel you know that. pride might carry over back into. the workplace so that's just me. spitballing baby. that's what they call me baby spitball. and vaughn. what else man what else is going on um. oh we got these rejection called man. they're good. they're really really good so i want to. get right into them man and thank you. guys for being a part of this show that. the the the uh number is always.

six 985 four nine five zero. three and i want to thank uh raleigh mao. is not here today. and it just just didn't fit kind of with. the schedule we will have him back at. some point. um we got producer sean in today and. he's not in here right now. he's at the hardy's but he um. he is helping us and we are grateful for. that man thank you very much.

let's hit a call let's hit the hotline. here we go. [Music]. hi theo this is ashley calling from. indiana and. ashley from indiana baby. in indiana is a real it's a popular. state. one of the probably 50 most popular. states right there gang. and i just heard your segment on being. rejected. and i've never actually been rejected.

but i did have to reject someone one. time and it was super embarrassing. i um had a client at my vet clinic. where i was a receptionist for a long. time in a vet clinic you know that's. where they bring animals. oh you got a little pony and he's got. asthma they bring his little ass in. there you know. you know you got a little squirrel bruh. and he got. maybe a leak in his vast deference and. he's eating nuts but he's blowing them.

at the same time you know it's just. they do all kind of stuff like that [ __ ]. you can't handle at the house. gang baby onward and um took care of his. dog and gave him his medicine. and told him how to take care of his dog. and told him to have a great day. and he left and he called me back about. 10 minutes later and said. that um he knew he was a little bit. older than me but. um i was really kind to him and he had. just gone through a divorce so he wanted. to. take me out on a date but i obviously.

well at the time i had a boyfriend and i. said i'm sorry i have a boyfriend but. being the good receptionist that i was. i told him that i could take down his. name and number and call him back. at a later time if things changed well. that's kind of perfect. ashley to uh you know to just be. you know get that response take his. number save it for later. because you also don't know what can. happen you don't know what god's doing. for you. you know you may be getting uh you know. that may that man could be your second. husband what if times get different.

you know what if you you know your. current your fiance or whoever that man. the boyfriend falls into a volcano and. now you got you don't know what to do. and you hit up freaking dog daddy and. he's got a little bit of money. next thing you know you know you over at. his house early one morning. making a couple of quick cakes for him. in the pooch it's. you know it's uh you just don't know you. gotta save numbers. you gotta save numbers you gotta you.

gotta hedge your bets. you know my daddy used to he's when the. church plate would come around my daddy. would throw a business card in it. you know he's supposed to put money in. there and he put that business card in. and uh i think he thought they were like. drawing for like a free lunch or. something but he would throw that. business card in there. and he didn't even he he didn't even. have any business his business was. nothing.

his business was trying not to uh you. know. sleep on the sofa at night that was his. his business was just trying not to make. my mom mad. so he but he would throw it in there. dude i don't even think it had any phone. number i think he just had his name on. it and said business card on it. and he'd throw that bastard in there. you know i think he's just hedging his. bets you notice in case down the line. you know he's thinking maybe the lord. needs somebody and.

he hits you know he's got that card. everybody else has just been tithing. cash but pops throws in that little. that little connection piece so. let's hear the rest of the call man i'm. sorry i interrupted young lady. i don't know why i don't know it was. like i was trying to get him in for a. rabies shot the next week i don't know. what was going through my head it was. super embarrassing. and i took down his name and number and. held onto that piece of paper. like i was gonna call him back at some. point um. so i really hope that guy moved on.

and i think you will too so good luck. out there. well thank you yeah and this is you know. i got rejected by a woman at the crepery. and i still sat there point blank and. ate a crepe right in front of her. so you may see me on a future episode of. mind hunter. but um but i'll say this ashley one of. the reasons. and i'll get into the psyche of a male. one of the reasons this man probably did. this because you took care of his dog.

and and in fact a dog is is an appendage. of a man's. you know private baby that weiner. and and. some men got that little yapper some men. got that growler. some men got that snuggler wiener. some men got that winter wiener where. their wieners always kind of hibernate.

but if you treat a man's puppy well or. treat his dog well then he. in his mind that's a reflection. oh this is how she's going to treat the. rest of my body. you know a dog is really it's an. extension of a man and it's not exactly. an extension of his p of his privates of. his penis. but it's it it kind of has that same if. you had an extra penis that could catch. a frisbee. that's what your dog is.

you gotta think into the male psyche. and um so if he sees you treating that. thing he sees you you know. petting the dog and giving it a little. you know maybe a little treat maybe a. chicken liver. he's going to say oh ah you know if. she'll take care of that she might take. care of the rest of me. because uh you know i remember being. really young you'll try to. i remember your penis become so alive at. a certain point in your life.

i mean when you're 13 or 12 or 14. your penis is like a i mean it just. it's just so damn insane. it's like having a um. it's like having a chatty friend. you know you're trying to be cool and be.

calm and then. i want some tears you know your penis. just. activating you gotta do so you gotta you. gotta handle them or mangle them. you know i remember when i was young. trying to even feed my penis like a. little uh. captain crunch i remember i get a little. pocket knife and cut the cap and crunch. kernels in the halves and try to. you know you know feed one of your damn.

wiener i guess or just you know being. young man and just. anyway i think that's why the man hit on. you because you know he. you came at the dog. but i think it's beautiful and i think. it's a compliment. and he probably just was looking for. somebody to show him a little bit of. care. and you were the first one around him. you know. it's crazy how we all could use some. care man. we all used somebody to pat us on the. neck or to.

you know throw a frisbee or give us a. little chicken liver. man if y'all can hear that rain it is. cool though i almost wish i was out in. it. and the police as well you hear them the. police are around here. but yeah i went i went kayaking on the. out on the harpeth. about a two-hour run out there. you know a couple people out there.

drinking mountain dew code reds you know. and it was nice man this one nice thing. out here. in tennessee was really a perfect day. because the. the weather was it was fall but it was. hot. so it's 80 degrees but it's you know. october whatever. 20th or something. so though all the foliage had shifted.

you know because mother nature likes to. use different crayons man she don't. you know she goes she goes heavy on the. green for a while but once she starts to. realize there's other colors in the box. that [ __ ] gets extravagant baby. and one thing in tennessee you can see. that foliage man. so you could really you just you know. we're just yakking through these creeks. and you just see the. just all these trees and leaves and. just the endless soundtrack of god man.

nature. it's just a playlist that. this is a playlist that's. it's never ending man as far as we know. let's take another call 985-664-9503. what's up theo this is chris from. connecticut what's up christopher.

chris and chris is short for christopher. a lot of times. or christmas or christening. or what else. and that's it let's hear more i'm. calling about uh getting turned down. which. made me think of a story from college i. had went to a bar with. a couple my friends it was after a uh. intramural softball game.

oh yeah intramural softball i feel you. baby. intramural softball dude. there was always some psycho on every. team he had like nine headbands. he's putting on i black he's doing coke. he's like. then he hits a double and tears his acl. his name's always hank let's hear more. brother let's go christopher. so uh you know how that is but uh.

basically i. i'm dancing by myself which is another. great part of the story i forgot. but i'm dancing by myself and some girls. dancing with some guy. and i look over and she kind of gives me. the swoop to pull her in so i kind of. swoop over i'm thinking smoothly and. start grinding up on this girl. and uh it she she's digging it you know. she's down she. she's grinding up on me and we're. dancing and i just went in for the kiss. thinking like you know. next step is trying to make out with her. and she stops me immediately and goes.

whoa whoa whoa you are too. sweaty and truth be told about you. everybody else i probably was too sweaty. after that softball game but uh. yeah that's my turn down story basically. she wasn't having it so. hope that works for the podcast love you. man gang gang. buzz buzz as always and uh keep [ __ ]. going man we love you love everything. you got. love you too man thank you bro i love. you too man and thanks for that for that. for that statement.

and i'll tell you this man uh you know. sweat is really sweat is that body river. it's that baby glaze man. i mean sweat is it's a part of. you know a mother sweats when she bring. her child into the world. you know you don't want to see you don't. want to you know be born and your. mother's dry as hell. like damn who's this am f. you know who's this dang uh arachnid.

you know you want to be you want you. want that drippy mom after it. you know you don't want you i mean i. want to be born i want my mother in a. damn. tank top you feel me i want her looking. like she just had. you know had been doing two a days i. don't want one of these dry ass mothers. having a child. and that's sweat man. sweat is just advertising that you've. been trying.

that's all it is man you know it takes. eight minutes to get sweat. sweat's not a free gift. you know anybody could just do some. [ __ ] but somebody's got to do some. [ __ ] at a decent heart rate for. eight minutes. to be sweating and way to go dancing by. yourself man that says. dancing by yourself the ultimate sign of. confidence. if you look at different television. shows or programs or. even drawings some drawings.

you'll see somebody dancing by. themselves. and there's there's nothing it's a sign. of confidence man if a guy is dancing by. themselves. at first a lot of other guys will like. man look at this fool. but nine out of 10 times that guy ends. up dancing with a woman. a some woman meanders over to that guy. there's something magical about it.

there's something magical about that. just that confidance baby that french. confidence man. there's something just warm about it. there's something inviting. so more power to you man it sounds like. you're on a great track you're doing. you know you're dancing by yourself. you're doing your own thing. you're doing softball do co-ed softball. that way you kind of killing two birds. with one stone. hit you know hit it inside the park.

homer because that's all people hidden. in softball and then uh. and then you know dance when you get to. home plate. you know and you already have women. there at the place you don't have to go. to the pub. dude i remember one time we used to play. softball and they put this dude la. davious man and he was. um he was an urban youngster. if i'm real honest with you might have. been a little bit sh.

he might have had a little hit of. shanghai in him or something but he uh. i don't know he had that kind of he. looked a little you know sleepish if you. will he had that gas leak kind of vibe. but. um and he was in a wheelchair bro he was. wced up and they put him out in left. field by me. so i had to be out there with him. so every now and then you know the ball. if he got hit high enough i'd try to. push him over there to get under it man.

and we were man we were horrible. we were horrible. i'll tell you what's not horrible though. is fatter. fire t brand one unexpected side effect. of this year is uh. fashion we don't even know what is. fashionable anymore. it's like sweatpants were forced into. fashion because. everybody's at home you know. uh zoom suddenly became fashion.

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what up son not much. hey a long time first time here. yeah i'm calling about the rejection and. one time my. first day in my brand new apartment i. get in the elevator. there's this just oh just. gorgeous for that moment way out of my. league comes and i got me and my dog. right. oh yeah you got that little hit man with. you baby. and uh she's actually excited to see the.

dog she gets been all. happy starts petting my dog oh yeah and. this goes back to it. once you touch that dog and the man. imagination. goes from that wiener dog to just that. wiener you feel me. i froze up man i locked up the only. thing i'd come up with was. oh you like dolma. and she looked at me like i was probably. the dumbest thing on planet earth that.

gave me a smile probably because she. felt bad at that. but then we had to take the elevator ten. stories. up in this awkward embarrassed. i didn't know what to say i was all red. i was sweaty man. that's never been the same since gang. gang. gang brother you never will be the same. man. that rejection it it sticks in you man. like a. like a magnet with talons man it just it.

gets. into you it each ass. baby at each ass with buck teeth. oh man in the elevator i mean first of. all. there's so many things going on in that. story first of all. elevators if we if we focus. if we just build an elevator that went. all the way to heaven. we wouldn't have we would you know we. wouldn't have a lot of the problems we. have.

but instead we're building two store. three four three stories. dude sometimes you see a building with. two stories as an elevator. [ __ ] just throw your friend up there. dog [ __ ]. jump we got wasting all of this money. and also if we we if we had if we had an. elevator that went all the way up to. heaven. you know we do two stories three stories. you know you go to a dentist you go to. some tax evasion place.

you go to chiropractor bruh dude look if. a chiropractor ain't on the first. floor that place is a scam bro okay. fact you know i don't. i don't want to go to the bent house. daddy i want to go to the penthouse man. i'm going to go all the way to the top. we should make an elevator that goes to. heaven man. think about it that way when you're. ready to go you're ready to go.

it's not a bad idea man but dude yeah. it's so tough when you get with the girl. you start and you. you have a chance and you're like you. like dogs. and then you just. there's nothing you can do so when your. voice gets locked up. and you have to ride floor after floor. just thinking what do i say now. and anything would have anything would. have been okay.

you could have said anything man you. could have said anything. you're just looking at your dog you keep. petting your dog like a pervert. oh that's heartbreaking man and i've. been there and we've all been there. i mean if you're listening to this. podcast you've definitely been rejected. by women and. and we've all been there man we've all. been there.

oh that's a frustration. just each floor i'm a i'm a loser i'm a. loser i'm a loser i'm a loser. oh it's hectic man but at least you were. in the elevator at least you had a. chance. you know i don't want to realize. sometimes but i realize. men get with who they're brave enough to. talk to. that's who you end up with a man's wife.

is whoever. they were brave enough to talk to. unless the woman picks the man sometimes. that happens these days. i'm drinking this mountain water called. liquid death. and it's supposed to be one of the most. fine waters they have. from australia. or somewhere damn it's good too man.

god it tastes wet bro damn. it tastes like a million children just. kind of gleaking into your mouth you. know. and not children like children children. just like hypothetical. adult you know. non ageless children i'm not talking. nothing wild bro so get off my. get off of me on that but yeah man hey. at least you had a dog bro. at least you and your dog are sitting.

there and your dog's like man. i did my part i wing manned as good as i. could she petted me. all you had to do was say something. i think you owe your dog an apology. though brother but i feel you man thanks. for sharing. we got another call that came in here. 985-664-9503. what up deal this is greg so you. mentioned uh. rejection well check what's up greg.

and that's short usually for gregory or. gregarious is something different that's. more of an urban name but gregory for a. white. let's go check this out i was in somalia. like the worst place you could ever be. in the world. yeah i don't know dude i've been to a. wawa in philadelphia. after about 1 40 a.m. dude and i saw a guy shoot a 22-caliber. gun right through a um.

right through a ham and egg um. sandwich and that [ __ ] [ __ ] blew out. the glass and that [ __ ] was pretty. pretty dicey but uh not challenging you. just uh. just kind of trying to relate i guess. onward getting shot at. and i get back to uh our our base. and i have a letter from my fiance. holding on my back yep so i can hear all. your story i'm sorry for interrupting. you. and thanks for your service man well. check this out i was in.

somalia like the worst place you could. ever be in the world. getting shot at and i get back to uh our. our base and i have a letter from my. fiance. saying she just moved in with some dude. rude jack did i had to go out in the. desert. look into the sun until my tears dried. up. anyways hey i love your show king gang. gang bro dang. man that's hectic man.

that's hectic man. oh. you know i bet i'm going out on a limb. here. but i bet i bet it was real painful at. the time man. but i bet after a certain point or in. hindsight years later i bet you're able. to look back and be like man i'm glad. that i was. far away because then you're not there.

to have to deal with the. breakup you're not right there to have. to drive past each other and see each. other at the. at the twice daily or at the you know. tom thumb or whatever. you know it's um. i think there's probably some blessing. in that. now also being out there in the desert. is sheer hell man. i remember i went to kuwait one time to.

do some military shows and. i was on cigarettes and i was doing. cigarettes broad puff out bruh. i was jerking off and puffing out you. know i was basically just doing my best. and um. and i remember it was too hot to even. smoke. it was too hot to even smoke a cigarette. the air outside was hotter than a.

cigarette. was so if you inhaled a cigarette it was. almost. it was a colder it felt like than the. regular air. so it was just worthless you know it was. pointless it just you could just inhale. the regular air and it felt like a. cigarette. so hot. and i remember some girl went on their. morning run or something and she stopped. by my little cabin or whatever. and tried to make love to me and i. couldn't get an erection.

so i mean she was petting my dog man. with. she was petting my dang dog and that. thing. just wasn't waking up i think it might. have been down it was just. old yellow bro my my my wiener was dead. man. what else man uh oh i'll tell you that. one thing that about about uh. being in an elevator that gets my. girdle i mean it just boils my damn.

beef uh boils my beef. is when somebody gets in with a little. child. and they're like okay okay tanner press. the button. and tanner's standing there he's got all. 10 fingers up his nose. you know he's just straight bug hunting. he don't give a damn. and they're like all right tanner. preston button.

and tanner's like. then he beats his damn little booger. hunters up against the. alt like you know up against all the. buttons. and it reminds me actually i got to tell. you this one this one story uh. i'm in an elevator i'm going back to. elevators and i'm in the elevator i get. in and this couple gets in at the same. time. and they have a little child man and. this child probably been alive maybe i'm. guessing.

probably 170 days you know he still. smelled a little gamey. still a little gamey in the air. and uh you know like if an animal came. up i bet he would pick that little baby. up by the back of the neck you know what. i'm saying he's still a little. fresh out that mom body. so we're in there we get in and. i i felt like the mom had maybe been. drinking and she said to the husband she.

said oh honey maybe dunstan will want to. press the button. and first of all you can't name a baby. dunstan. you can't name a baby dunstan man i. think dunstan is a as a baseball bat. you can't name a baby dunstan. think about a baby named dunstan dude. yeah you can't so. i'm looking i'm like dunstan and i'm. looking at the baby and i'm thinking.

well sure. surely she doesn't mean the baby the. baby is five months old. that baby couldn't dunstan will have he. he you know he can't. move his arms he don't he's like a. scarecrow with no scare in him. he can't do nothing you know. um i mean a snake could eat him. you know he has no dumpster don't have. any capabilities. so she's like done honey honey maybe. dustin would like to push the buttons. and i'm standing there like we gotta get.

going. you know we've been about 18 seconds. that's a long time. to start it for an elevator to start in. modern day. so then the husband he has he has his. look on his face like what like i don't. know. but then you can tell who wears the. pants and the family the lady. and i don't know if she like wanted to. show off for me or what she's thinking. but. next thing you know the guy like puts. you know dunstan by the. buttons and he don't do nothing i knew. he wasn't gonna do nothing.

and i'm thinking man i wish i had a law. degree somebody needs to be here. on behalf of dustin. somebody could have done some best. interests man. and then they take dunstan man and the. dad like puts him by the thing and he's. not pressing him. because he can't press him because he. can't do. anything the only thing he's pressing or. even thinking about pressing is just. pressing a tit into his face you know. he's that milk hound baby. he's that [ __ ] leche weasel daddy.

so now he like takes the baby. and like pushes the baby against the. buttons. like the side of the bait like the. shoulder and the ear and the. in in the head he like pushes like three. buttons. with little dunstan is pushing him up. against the buttons man. and i pushed my own man he's like what. floor you want to go to i was like. i'll give dunstan's already done enough.

man we're going to four [ __ ] floors. that none of us are on. i'll go where i need to go i'll handle. my own [ __ ] all right let's take another. call here. yo theo what's up it's your boy matt. from uh [ __ ] new york and. what's up matt and good to hear from. from you my man and thank you for. calling and being a part of the show in. new york. one of the premier states one of the. first states they ever had in new york. onward no i heard you got rejected.

it sucks man i've been there thank you. brother. yep we uh we all have and it's good to. hear that others have more. so i had a funny rejection story so i. was working at planet fitness at the gym. and uh. i don't know if we're gonna call planet. fitness a gym man but i'll go on with. you. i'll go on with you here this cute uh. asian girl would come in there. and i kind of had a thing for it so i'd. flirt with her you know whatever. and oh yeah baby that pinoy daddy onward.

and uh i was nervous to ask her out. though she seemed really shy. i couldn't tell if she was into me or. not and that's the asian dilemma right. there when it comes to white males and. uh. and asian women you have no idea. you have no idea you could be getting. married to an asian woman and you have. no idea if she. likes you or not there is no. i mean if i were asian i would just play.

poker. no one has any idea. what is going on you could be. a brain surgeon you could work at a. hardee's. i there's no gives onward. and then like some of my co-workers. hyped me up they're like yo man go for. it go for it. so i thought oh i'm gonna i'm gonna do. it big i'm gonna buy her a flower. i got her a rose and i hid the rose like. behind the desk and i waited for her to.

leave. oh man so much romance. onward and this is the most embarrassing. thing because. she walked out into the parking lot and. i followed her. out like now saying it out loud it. sounds so creepy. but at the time i thought it would be. like romantic. and i said hey excuse me and then she. turned around and i. gave her the flower and i was like you. know maybe we should we should uh. go go out sometime you know give me a. chance blah blah blah.

and she's like uh she was so. she felt so awkward i could tell and. like at this point i knew i. i [ __ ] up and she's just like oh i'm. busy with school. and stuff whatever and then like it was. horrible because then she would come. in to work out and i'd have to see her. again and then every time i was like. trying to hide and [ __ ]. so yeah we've all been there man so. don't feel bad. but anyway getting gay. gang brother dang what a.

story man oh i can feel it you hid that. flower the whole time. one of your co-workers noticed they're. all like chatting behind your back like. damn he's about to [ __ ]. take an l you know. and you're all fight you hyped up and. and once your mind goes over that cliff. of i'm gonna take a flower to a girl you. it's bro it ain't the 1800s i feel you. i love the romantic side it's just not.

as appreciated. these days people think you're a stalker. people think you're a stalker with a. you know who also has a you know green. thumb. but man i commend it bro you hiding that. [ __ ]. you know you got a little bit of foliage. tucked off behind the xerox. you sneak over tada. she's shocked and then she gave you the. most age i have to go to school more.

i have to go to school more. come on at least come up with some. others i'm on you know do something else. i'm on swim team i have to. swim all the time anything other than. that. i have to go to school but honestly bro. in some asian traditions man that's the. thing. it's school or die bro there's not a lot. of middle ground you know you and a lot.

of asians they get a b. they go missing and that's documented. man. and then going back to the gym man i. respect the hustle. i don't know if it's anytime fitness or. planet fitness one of. them dude it's like seven times like. seven dollars a month you go in there. there's a cocaine anonymous meeting. going on. in one corner of it little boos he's in. another corner shooting a rap video. you know some guys some guys using one.

of the overhead pull down bars to pry. off an. ankle bracelet someone left a baby in a. box. at the bottom of the stair master uh. there's a produce section for some. reason. there's people practicing for. supermarket sweep in there. uh it's just there's some guy who has an. aquarium. it's like what enough it just none of it. makes any sense a lot of people are just. going there to. to bathe some guy's storing stuff in. there.

like you going some guys like has 40. locks on all the lockers in there and. he's just storing all of his [ __ ]. instead of getting like a regular. storage. um and i don't know if that's anytime. fitness or planet fitness but one of. them man. one of them will leave you will leave. you uh wanting more sometimes. but you get that grind baby. you get that grind and that's what's. important man and that's what's. important about your story man you got. that grind dog.

dude i remember. when i was in let me think sixth. seventh grade there was this rich girl. and i don't know she might not have been. rich but she was rich to me man. she had two parents. she had a like a cat that was doing well. you know she was they were you know she. was doing good. and i remember we went to their. basketball game and i got me a flower.

bro got me a rose in advance and i got. it was nice dude it was like two dollars. and 20 cents and they wrapped it up and. that was an extra dollar. and i went all in i had to get a ride. all the way out to the other school. and i went with one of my oh i actually. rode out with one of my buddies because. he was dating another girl. and um and he was dating another girl. and so. we went to the basketball game and. dude she was on the cheerleading team. and at one point they sat down because. they you know they dance team or.

something. and i walked over there dog and my face. was turning red as could be. and i got down on one knee bro down on. one hoof man like a marriage i didn't. know what to do. i didn't know how to do it i got down on. one knee bruh. like a marriage and i gave this chick a. dang. rose man and the ball came bouncing over. like that you know. i wasn't even playing ball like you know. like what a loser i think some kid. called me.

the n word again it was just bad i think. even the referee called me the n-word. but that was love man i gave it a shot. you know there's something valuable in. that. you know you you're unforgettable. you know you're dancing bro. everybody else is standing around and. doing this and sliding into the dms man. and you're sliding into that.

demilitarized zone baby. you're sliding right into into shanghai. man. you know you're showing up in real life. sliding into the demon but that rose. baby. that shakespeare move. and there's some value in that does you. know you're dancing man. everybody else is kind of doing the walk. but you're. you're dancing and when you dance by. yourself dog that never goes away.

however you do that in your life it. comes out in all different types and. facets man. so that's what we do here man. we get rejected bruh but we show up. and i'm happy to be showing up for. myself today man it's not always easy. but. you know you guys are always there for. me and support and uh. and i appreciate that and and i try to. do the same as much as i can for you. um so gang man love you guys man uh.

yeah what else do we have going on we. got some good episodes coming up joe coy. will be on um. what else we're trying to have uh we've. got a couple of neat guests on i don't. want to say them yet because we're. we're close to having them but you know. we're really hopeful. and what else man. i just hope you're doing okay wherever. you are today. you know i hope you know that uh.

you know that you're loved man there's. people thinking about you whoever you. are. even if maybe you feel like there isn't. um sometimes it's not that people don't. love us is that we can't feel it. you know and i hope you find a way to. get out there this week and drop that. rose or hit somebody with that foliage. dog. you know what i'm saying i'm a damn.

dandelion. that's some lil hoe bruh be real with it. so we'll go out the way that we came in. man. cause that's life baby. how we gonna go out how we gonna come in. we gonna dance while we here. we going to show that foliage while. we're here. damn your co-workers brother invest they. let you. ride out into the distance dog damn.

but that's fine man they ain't us dog. they they back there doing they probably. loaned some man. you're going to find somebody going to. find your lady gwenevere dog. amen 100 fool 100. fool we'll go out the way we came in man. with. matthew kazial and runs in the family i. would tell you if any new shows have. coming up but i don't have any um.

you know we're still dealing with the. disease and. and corvid lurks man or does it who. knows we don't know everything. the elections coming up. you know i've already made my choice i. choose people man i choose people over. politics man i just. i've been thinking a lot about it and. i'm not i'm just not letting these. forces divide me from people. i mean we already losing connection here.

and there and now. now they got people on you know putting. us on different sides playing this big. dirty game a red rover. you know i will vote i will vote. um and i encourage you to vote for. whoever you want to. whoever you want to um. but in my heart i think i need to make. another choice and that's.

and that's for people man. you know but also i don't know what i'm. talking about so. but i love you man i'll see you with. that at that anytime fitness baby. anytime fitness and florist gang. this is matthew kazial with runs in. the family. be good to yourself.

[Music]. in the mud. [Music].

come on man.

runs in the family. baby. section.

[Music]. come. maybe.

baby. [Music]. wow unless matthew causey all runs in. the family i want to just take a second. to thank everybody too that supports the.

patreon man we don't. you know we don't push a big patreon and. that's fine and we don't want to uh. but we're just doing some good stuff. over there and for the people that do. i feel like i don't say thank you enough. uh so thank you very much. um and we love you. yeah now i'm just floating on the breeze. and i feel like these leaves i must be. cornerstone.

oh but when i reach that ground i'll. share this piece of mind i found i can. feel it. [Music]. a little time. for me to set that parking brake and let. myself. on my heart shine. i'll sit and tell you my stories.

[Music]. and now i've been moving way too fast on. the runaway train with a heavy load of. my. hands. and these rails that i've been riding on.

they want something that they're damn. they're gone. [Music].