Easter Oyster | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #329

you know happy st patrick's day. if you get sunburned easily or you. or if somebody slaps you. everybody can tell. then this this holiday is for you. if you. if dogs get angry at you sometimes when. they see you. because it can be a little. a little shocking. you know just the um. the contrast or.

you know the contrast of. of uh just. the reflection coming off you sometimes. can do that. then this holiday is for you. happy st patrick's day. if two or three minutes in the sun can. absolutely. put you in the hospital maybe. and maybe even affect your dna. so that your children and. great-great-grandchildren and everyone.

you know. ends up being addicted to alcohol. then this holiday. is for you happy st patty's day everyone. saint patty. what are some famous saints they had let. me look at some. famous saints. they had. anthony joseph. oh joseph was always trying to saint. your sister down you know what i'm. saying boy you know little joseph bro.

he sneak over dude put a handful of work. in uh dirty holy water in your sister's. in your sister's mouth you know trying. to get her to freaking uh. do some freebasing or whatever but um. who else did they have michael the. archon. michael the arch angel. peter. and then they had patty. do you know saint patty was like. i'm not gonna say that.

she was probably. trying i'm guessing probably transgender. if you go back to. you know. the past then it's probably saint patty. was definitely trans. you know there comes saint patty. same patty give you a little. butterscotch give you a little handful. of mint. you know. put a little um.

molasses under your tongue man. we used to have this guy that worked at. our middle school named mr rubin. and he was named after probably the meat. the sandwich meat. and he um. [Music]. and he. he would put a little molasses under. your tongue baby you know when he saw. you. he'd keep him a little dropper like one. of them squirrel feeders. and when he saw you if you was kind of. being loud or something he'd hit you. with that glasses baby.

he just died. just douse you up. and you couldn't help but feel good. molasses it's kind of. it's sweet and also kind of earthy. kind of sour kind of urban. a little bit canadian but also a little. has just a. mild kind of. mapley. japanese kind of after. you know kind of um repast or something.

vibe you know. but um. anyway happy saint patty's day man. a lot of people out there. uh. the irish. and they're good man the irish if you. see the irish they're usually doing. something. sometimes they just get so plastered. they don't even.

you know and you're like oh man is that. guy okay and people are like yeah yeah. man that guy's irish bro. you know. let him celebrate baby so this is your. day man um. thank you guys for being here with me. today and uh and for getting into this. episode. it is the year two zero two one. and we are traveling through space and. time in unison and this is our. time. [Music].

this is grady spencer. and the work you. always who keeps together you always are. the one who knows just what we need. you always are the one who stays home. with your baby you gonna be the one who. stays right here with me.

[Music]. [Music]. so we.

[Music]. baby you know you're so pretty. and i don't know how to baby your mind. this is our time. [Music]. this is our time. that is greatest spencer.

and the work and that's their album. you know they do a song and they and. you know it's amazing somebody makes a. song and then you get to enjoy it. and that's called transmission. um happy st patrick's. you know happy st patty and happy. everybody named patty everybody that's. ever been patted on the back. everybody that's ever had a patch on. their uh pants. um.

you know everybody who's ever. attempted a point after touchdown. i i commend you i commend you all on. this beautiful day to enjoy the color. green. i said sean. says sean he gets you know get a little. something step up the studio. we got a couple of. these look like florida plants a little. something from florida. and uh. we got that vibe.

we got a little bitty hat. okay somebody come through this kind of. small headed. and um. what's up. went to jiu jitsu today. uh. man what something. well. i'll be honest with you man they had me. fight. it's not going well. i'll say that. um. i have uh tapped out to.

fighters women fighters. you know females they call them females. but as far as i'm concerned once you get. in the um in the dodgeo dog it's all. it's mono imano you know leave your tits. at the door boo boo it's. you know we both going toe to toe here. it doesn't matter everybody got a wiener. in here that's how i look at it. so. but the crazy part they made me like. fight a.

i guess a blind guy. and this guy's blind bro legally blind. or. or illegally blind i guess i don't know. which one he is. i haven't seen like his prison record. and stuff but he's blind. so. it's kind of crazy because i'll just be. real quiet. and they say that's cheating. so it's like. i don't know you learn as you go i'm. just grateful to be in there i hurt one. of my wrists so bad though i couldn't.

even wipe my buttocks man. if i was doing number two doing a duty. i couldn't put enough pressure. on to. the tissue. i just could it was like uh. you know i just couldn't do it. so then i had to wipe my buttocks with. the alternate hand. which uh i don't know if you've ever.

done that. but it's. first of all it's very scary i didn't. even know how to do it. it's kind of like when somebody has you. shoot a free throw or something with. your oppo. opposing hand. you know if somebody has you use your. use your opposite hand dude you it's. scary right it feels like you feel like. you feel like kind of blind in your arm. or something you feel like your whole. arm is blind you know it just you can't.

do it you can't uh. you just can't you can't do it man. so that that uh that's something that's. tricky man. you know that's something that even mr. rubin with a couple freaking baby bird. droppers that have. that molasses can't handle and can heal. um. so anyway yeah just been going through a. lot of aches and pains with that.

and dealing with that and just getting. through it fighting the blind fighting. the females bro you know. um. [Music]. it's uh yeah they you know they're very. accepting of me over there they work. with me. uh. it's just harder. your body gets older it gets harder. you gotta make sure everything. here's what i noticed about getting. older.

i noticed. when i jump. somewhere. i have to look where i'm jumping. i used to just jump i would jump i would. land i'm going. i'm already on to the next whatever it. is. but now it's like if i'm say i'm going. for a jog or something i'm gonna jump. over something um. there's a couple seconds of planning. it's like almost like a quarter block of. planning okay. when i get up here i'm gonna do this.

jump. and it's not it's not even anything big. it's like a little it's like two sticks. that have somehow found their way. together two sticks or a. you know a little um see herb or. something curb. you know and so. i uh. but i was like all right here we go. here we go. okay. yeah. and it's so it just it's so much more i. think we're in the when you was a child.

you'd run and jump over something you. didn't know. you jump over it and keep going. never even thought twice or even once. about it. but different times man um. i got a home. i got a place. i'm keeping my place in. los angeles i got a place out here in. the central east. so i'm going to experiment with that. it's exciting but nerve-wracking.

um. [Music]. but it's kind of nice it's like you can. it's a things are a little more chill. and then things are a little bit more. uh when i go to los angeles and it's for. if i want to go there for a month or if. i want to work on something or. you know we're doing podcasting whatever. it's great it's kind of nice to be able. to be in different places. so i'm real grateful. to have that ability. and ability is just.

that's just when you can do something. and you. it's not even when you then do it it's. just when you can do something. so. there's a lot of ability out there that. never gets acted on. which is kind of wild really. um. but i went over there the other night. and i like. because the pla the the place closed. yesterday and i went over there and.

man i like walked in and i was like i. was almost kind of spooked out. it was like all right i guess uh. and i didn't even stay i just came back. to the airbnb that i've been over at. you know it feels like i don't know i. guess it feels like maybe you should. have like a family or something or maybe. it feels like you should have. there should be some other level oh.

i don't know i think i need to get some. groceries. that will help me get more acclimated. so. but those are some things that are going. on or have been um. what else oh i went to a basketball game. i went to the. lsu. was playing in the um. sec tournament.

and i really love. lsu basketball. my fr my father was friends with dale. brown when he was. i don't know when they were children and. dale brown's like an old coach of lsu. and. anyway. um. [Music]. anyway so i'll go down to the game i. took a date. took a date. go down to the game.

and. first of all i did i didn't have uh. tickets i didn't have any entry entry. certificates you know so i'm thinking i. got to get so you know i got i need to. hit one of these uh vendors a vendor and. so i go. and a man they got a big fella out there. and the dude was pretty it was kind of. an urban dude you know what i'm saying. like kind of like. seemed. black and so.

he was eating something he was polishing. off something he was a big guy he. reminded me of. um. baloo i think. blue. bear let me look him yes. he had that feet uh that physique. that same physique baby that p hyzek. as baloo. from the jungle book. very. uh. like lean. like kind of like well look first of all.

if you've been to an sec event or. something there's a lot of. country people there. so a lot of people. resembled a. kind of a snowman-esque. or melted snowman. you know that body style where it was. just. somebody wearing a 9xl t-shirt. with no pants just totally it went it.

went down to their shoes and then they. just kind of tied it off at the bottom. you know just. a lot of unique body styles very. plush. i would say overall. you know i'd say kind of um. flammable type of body you know real. soft. real flammable body style. um. anyway so this fella we go over and. trying to get some tickets and i should. have just got him before i go.

and. the man name was sherlock. okay the man name was sherlock. and he said oh my my brother has him. yard boy. so the second he said yard boy i could. see my date was kinda she wasn't real. sure about. i think probably the way i operate. i would say maybe she was. she knew that thing this was getting. interesting and this wasn't the type of.

interesting she wanted. you know. her like for her probably her you know. and you know i think as inter. anyway so she. so anyway we got we start walking down. the street so we see yard boy right. and he basically looks just like the guy. he looks just like sherlock. and sherlock was eating something man or. he had crumbs built in around his mouth. like but it looked like he'd been cross.

salting you know like he'd been uh. french snacking. you know what i'm saying he had that big. that big baby bear look where he he's. definitely stuck his head into a bakery. window. and kind of had his way while the. cashier was in the restroom you know. what i'm saying. so anyway uh sherlock is doing his thing. and then we meet up with your boy and. yard boy. is from i want to say jamaica maybe but. that's also just me.

guessing. because if i hear any sort of. island sound. my brain immediately goes yamika you. know. place a bed with me. welcome to jamaica. which reminds me actually i was in. i don't even know if it was jamaica one. time could have been uh. dominican republic or. uh. trinidad or somewhere dang i'm saying.

panty. it could have been uh somewhere like. that and. we're walking down the street. and they had. a starbucks on. so we go in we're students we go into. the place. and we walk in and there's a lady in the. back she goes welcome to the starbucks. lounge. can i get you a smoothie. and we're like where are we and they had. stole or borrowed a stolen or borrowed a.

starbucks sign just put it up in front. of their business out front. so people are venturing in and it's not. even a starbuck they had smoothie but. um. anyway so y'all boys there and then uh. so they your boy goes oh i don't have. them pop has them right. so we got sherlock and sherlock started. to kind of like um. i want to say exasperate or something at.

this point he started to. he was having a breathing issue you know. and sure like i don't even know why they. call him sherlock. i mean this dude couldn't found this. dude couldn't have found his breath if. it wasn't built into his damn. lung system you know he couldn't find. his name this dude couldn't have found. his blood if it wasn't built into his. veins. so anyway sherlock and uh yard boy. they say pop got some. so now we look down the street the way. we had just come it's been about four. minutes now. and there is a man pop i guess.

apparently pop. walking down towards them and there's. tons of people walking it's outdoors. and some people are coming up and saying. hey man can i get a photo or saying hey. you know you know i love your podcast. stuff like that or and it's real nice. it's just it's a lot going on. because i'm starting to wonder like is. things legitimate here. with um. with yard boy and sherlock. which i think is. a very normal question.

for any natural man to ask themselves at. a certain point. i've just spent 250 dollars here. are things okay. with yard boy and sherlock. so at this point you see the people. coming and i said where is he i mean. we're waiting another two minutes he. said he right there manny right there. we doing business man we doing business. and i'm trying to be supportive you know.

uh. and then finally i start to see the guy. there is one guy. he's wearing parkas. blue. kind of um. parka plastic for raining it's not. raining. he's on two of those and he has on. everybody else is walking at a. considerable speed. this guy. pop sorry. is walking. at the speed of. hope he's walking at the speed of a.

rumor. like there's no like oh and here's the. worst part. he had have you seen those air cast. people have like a air cast on her leg. it has like a little hole by the knee. like a look like a little birdhouse door. on it. he has one of those. on each leg. it should say on the box when you get. a air cast soft cast for. one leg.

it should say hey. you can't wear one of these. on your other leg at the same time. but it doesn't say that. so here he comes dude this little. freaking teapot you know. i'm a little teapop. sword and stout this. this. guy. and my dad hates me she's literally at. this point i can feel her texting.

whatever the last guy she went out with. just probably asking this man to come. pick her up. um. anyway so. pop finally gets there he don't have the. tickets he said. he don't know what happened it's a. sailor tower issue bro okay look. when this dude says it's a cellular. tower issue. i. cuz i'm now it's it's been 11 minutes we.

don't have tickets it's so it's just you. know. the college basketball is a short game a. short game there's two 20-minute halves. so i can feel the halves going down. and i just said look just give me my. money back. and uh they said well look come inside. with this we'll walk you in. we try to do that for five more minutes. it's a nightmare they're on the phone. and every time i say look man this is.

just you know. can i just. we're done the guy's like it's a uh. sherlock said it's a cellular tower. issue man. like i don't give a what it is. if i sell you something but i don't have. something. then that's on you big dog um. anyway i don't know why i told you that. story but yeah it was not uh. was not a good date uh it was just bad.

it was just. it was too much it was stressful. that's why you got to get the tickets. before. you got to plan ahead and you got to get. the tickets before so. that's kind of where i'm at um. oh here was the worst part. when pop finally got up there. him. or each time we met with somebody when. yard boy. and sherlock they did a handshake it was. like a 40.

second handshake dude. it was like a hit like they were in the. super bowl like they were wide receivers. on the pittsburgh steelers. and they wasn't doing. uh. yo pop dude had. two i think he dislocated his entire. lower body. bro you could see when the wind would. blow a little it almost cost him.

his life every time. birds were landing on him. he had hay coming out of his shirt. sleeves you know. they had drawn freckles on his cheeks. they you know. anyway oh jesus christ. and i was so few by the end of it all i. was so furious it was like an hour. total nightmare. so anyway get the tickets before you go. man that's what i'm trying to tell you.

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and get out there and get insured. get insured. um. [Music]. well we got some nice we got some. exciting things i think in this episode. pretty excited about that uh the new be. good to yourself hoodies. are out some unique um. color pairings. and uh they're almost sold out but. they'll be back in stock soon we have. the original be good to yourself hoodie. back in stock this week. we also have the new get that hitter. merch so check that out as well.

um and uh what else do we have. what else can i tell you about. what else is going on uh. well being in a new home is just i don't. know i'm not even in there yet. and. just. yeah i'm not even in there yet. so. we'll see. we'll see what it's like it feels like i. guess it feels kind of scary.

i've never. i've always been a bit more ability to. ramble. and be that dusk in the wind. and. uh dusk in the women you got no you know. you. you really just hook your coat onto the. breeze. so i think there's probably some nerves. when it comes into um.

when it comes into having like some a. little bit more establishment. uh but it'll be fun you know i think. there'll be some other stuff will be. nice getting groceries um. you know in waters like in a cupboard. where you're going to always have waters. um. [Music]. what else have a drawer where you keep. this you keep that. you know you need tape you need. electrical tape. you know you want to keep a paint set. you want to keep um. a friend have an extra bedroom.

keep them. you know just having that ability to do. different stuff. and have a little bit of space in that. sort of thing. so. what else do we have man uh. you know let's get into a little bit of. news uh right here. uh bill burr upset people at the grammys. they said. and i saw what he said and. he didn't he didn't really upset anyone.

he didn't really even say much really. um. and you know what i started to realize. what's going on a lot in the news these. days is a reverse uh. psychology. basically. you know billboard didn't really say. anything. but suddenly there's an uproar and then. it becomes a thing but the uproar is. just created because.

uh. that way people go see the clip right we. know that kind of stuff. people go see the club whether it. happened or not. but then i started to think like as some. bigger stuff you know i started to think. about um the dr seuss thing. and here's my theory on dr seuss. for one i started to think that. i bet i bet someone had a lot of dr. seuss books.

that the sales on them had probably. slowed down. because i don't know if people are. buying as dr seuss as much. you ask kid these days if who dr seuss. is they think it's an actual doctor they. think it's an indian guy. let's be honest. so um. i think the big deal is somebody i bet. probably had too many doctors whose. books they couldn't sell them company. whatever. so they said well let's let's create. this blurb let's create this hubbub.

let's make it so that oh these. these books are going to get. discontinued let's influence whoever we. can to get these books discontinued or. banned or whatever. so then suddenly. everyone goes and buys the dr seuss. books. now everybody's cat in the head it up. everybody's hammed and greened you know. and everybody's hearing horton's. in the distance you know it is what it. is. but now they've sold more books than.

ever. just because so people can be like why. you know. so the whole thing is just a trick. really. whoever's discontinued the books they. don't really care. in the end they're just trying to sell. some books. i think the same thing was true with the. mr potato head they said oh mr potato. they're just trying to sell. plastic vegetables bro. that's it. no one re it's all a trick.

once they have us clicking on whatever. boom. then we've already then our time. our attention. you know once you give your attention to. something that's it because that's your. value is your attention. um. so anyway yeah billboard didn't say. anything. and if you looked at the clip he didn't. say anything. oh some cis white male i didn't give. it seemed ridiculous the the category.

they haven't given him but it just. whatever. you know. i like it he went out it was just kind. of him in the brief moment he could be. there wasn't a ton of opportunity for. him uh to really emphasize his. personality. but yeah. but yeah it's all a trick man. then you got then now you got the book. and now you're you're standing your. ground. but. it's just getting weirder they you know.

you tear down the statue chair i'm just. trying to get rid of history i just. don't understand why you just don't. leave history where it is. it's already gone. but. what else man oh i saw this article. tennessee man leaves five million. dollars to dog in his will. she's a good girl.

that's what he said. i'll tell you more about it in just a. second i want you to know that uh. grub hub is where it's at. if you you know. you've you've been you know you've been. alive for a certain amount of years and. you've been eating. and you know you've been eating man i've. seen you. i saw a big sherlock. and he had them little french crisps out. there around his mouth hole. around that big heaty heaty pie hole. bruh he could have had a dang bird.

living up in his in. in his face he was tall. you know and a bird i could easily see. he had tan skin that bird land in him. and do an egg or something in his ear. but what i'm telling you about is uh. grub hub perks. get deals on the food you love if you. already use. food apps a lot then use the one that's. going to give you. dang resilience and and. uh. rewards grubhub perks.

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restaurants on grubhub get the food you. love with perks. from grub hub. grub what you love. take a break from cooking. grow pub a little hot girl have a little. alright so more in the news um a. tennessee man. named bill doris. leave five million dollars to his dog. he said she's a good girl. man.

man. that's hard to stomach man. hell that's hard to cow stomach and they. got eight stomachs. just the fact that that's what we get. that's what we get humans. the way we want to treat each other. then now the money go to the animal you. want to light your grandmother's uh. little cat's tail on fire. we're gonna see who gets the last laugh. now aren't we when biscuit.

gets that inheritance. and suddenly you know you working for a. dalmatian somewhere. times have changed man i'm telling you. you got to start treating your. grandparents well oh you don't want to. eat nana's banana bread. well guess who is eating it little petey. it's going it's going to be wild when. you're living in a bird cage for the. rest of your life. and petey's out there on his computer. all day. on his ameritrade account.

it's just where we're at. it's where we're at as people man. one more news beat here. scientists if you believe in them. want to send. 335 million seed. sperm and egg samples to the moon. to create a lunar noah's ark. that's what it's come down to folks we. are we're basically.

jerking off into space spraying out. busting heavy out into the atmosphere. what's going on. just be honest we're trying to get rid. of ginger. seed. it's been highly reported that for. decades nobody's been buying that ginger. bust over there at the sperm account. and so times have changed man. times have changed. and now they gotta send it out into.

space hopefully it knocks up an alien. that's crazy man. some cyborg rolls up. looking like uh. banta. remember banta from uh. superheroes or whatever what is that. thing called banta from. oh blanca. from. street fighter.

yup gonna be a bunch of blancas out. there boy. gonna be a bunch of blancas out there. but that's how desperate we are. you know nobody wants that ginger bust. i mean probably the last two gangs i. know or even. this fella andrew santino a young. comedian and um. andy dalton. who's playing for chicago bears now. so. it's a wild world man.

but yeah they we we jerking out into. space now. hoping to knock up a damn moon or. something. it's gonna be funny nine months from now. you're gonna see a moon just a leg pop. out of the moon. a lil ween or a low ivory. [Music]. different times different times. i'm going to tell you right now if you. are. aren't taking care of your body or your. penis. you can. you can. blue chew.

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gmail.com. or go to theovon.com there's a spot to. upload. a fan upload link and you can upload. videos there. a little bit of liquid death on that. saint patty's day. man i got a new house i'm excited. you know i think some of us hit me i. think there's some fear but i'm just you. know it'd be nice get like a little. get a hamper.

you know get some stuff that you're. going to keep. you know most of my life has just been. very transient. um. it's hard for me to commit to stuff. i mean i'll even go do a yoga session or. something at a gym. and they offer you that 10 pack and it's. 60 cheaper or something. and i won't do it i can't commit to 10. sessions man even if it's over the. course of a year. i like to get that one session.

it's manageable. you know. so i'm curious to see kind of. uh. you know some of what will come from. having um. that homestead experience. one more news panda express employee. forced to strip during trust building. exercise. look lady. you know it's. i mean look. when people want that panda they want it.

fast you feel me that's what i'm saying. boo boo. we've all been molested lady. you know i want to be there for you but. at this point everybody's been molested. and over molested. re-molested. unmolested oh you know. people have been molested. mo molested molested. you know it's just it's all. you know no matter what industry you're. in you're gonna get molested.

i hate to say that but if you at the. movie industry you know harvey weptstein. is molesting people. uh larry johnson uh. bill clinton. you know um. you know joseph biden smelling children. somebody's got to get apparently. apparently look at game of thrones half. the show people's getting molested.

so apparently you know whether you in. sports or whatever. and i'm not saying justifying and i'm. just saying lady that it. you know i'm sorry. you know but we've all got a i mean i i. got a close family member. you know that suffers from addiction of. drugs and alcohol because. they used to have to go horseback riding. with with a fellow you know we was just. trying to make pizzas over there. so everybody's gotta you know.

everybody's getting molested really. somehow i got a uh i know a friend who. was a straight man. you know or he was he was straight at. the time and he. might still be straight. so that's up to him and god but it's um. he. [Music]. he was trying to get a job at a hair. salon he wanted to be the last straight. hair man. and he was they had two men that made.

him do. cocaine with glitter in it. you know outside of an old town concert. up there near um liberty. out there near liberty new york outside. of rochester so. and they tried to touch his ass and. everything in his booty hole booty pipe. so it's all you know that's work if you. want to work you know i hate to say it. but every anywhere you look people are. getting touched or touched out. so that's.

that's unfortunately that's big business. you know it's very sad. it's very sad but i mean hell half my. friends have been busted for. you know are accused of sexually it's. just everybody so i'm not shocked if you. work at a panda express. if somebody's serving you know. they got you over there on that steamed. rice. they trying to serve that. freaking you know they trying to walk.

you up with that egg roll you feel me. boo boo. i'm just saying. i'm not i'm just saying i'm not shocked. if you over there slanging that orange. chicken. that every now and then people want a. little. they want to huff on that freaking uh. on that little booty monkey you feel me. on that little on that dirty monkey. so that's all i'm just saying i'm not. shocked all right. let's get into some calls man.

oh we had some great calls that came in. here on the hotline um. let's get into it right now. this is zachary. you up. from illinois. what's up zachary. and look illinois man is uh. illinois is a good place to get diabetes. man while you work hard. some places it's diabetes only but you. guys will stay busy. and uh get the disease and so that's.

pretty. you know hats off to you i don't have a. hat. i'm a senior in high school this year. and i'm in desperate need of a senior. quote and i thought who better to give. me a senior quote than the theo bond so. if you give me a funny one line or some. words of wisdom for my senior quote. that'd be great thanks take care bye. well i could tell you straight up that. the road to the strap goes through the. rat. you know that right there baby boy.

i think another good senior quote might. be. knock knock. who's there. and that's it. and a lot of people are gonna be like. damn this guy something's wrong with. this guy that's fine. that's fine man because it's just that. vague you know. it's that dirty oyster bruh.

it's that easter oyster sometimes you. open up a an oyster around eastern it. got a little chocolate in it you say. damn how'd this little. shellfish get this sweet goodie but. that's god. that's that easter oyster baby. so that's what i would go with what do. you guys think that's a good question to. put out to the universe. and don't read any off of the internet. and come at me with those. because i thought about doing that. already but i thought i got to think. something up.

so i thought knock knock who's there. i thought um. [Music]. um. what else would be good. i never got to smoke crack.

and that's a true statement for me but. it's something i've thought might be. nice to have in a yearbook just to kind. of document where you are in your life. um. [Music]. you could also just admit something that. happened. you know. you know just tell the truth about. something i hit a hot girl with my car. when i was in high school and. sometimes i don't really admit it.

you know she was walking it wasn't you. know and. i feel bad but it's like. we don't know what god has in store for. us. so you have to think about it like that. man. but good luck zachary and if you guys. have a recommendation for him. 985-664-9503. um this tick tock came in of a. grandmother. let's see what she had to say.

get something here to eat i won't. what's wrong with you you don't piss me. off. taping me. don't be talking ugly. you ought to not be telling people my. damn business if i want to i can. you ain't nobody's business but. mine. amen to that. amen. that's five years ago when. five years ago you might still be doing. that.

why i'm too old no. so look right there you see uh. what's happening right here really and. this is unfortunate that this kind of. happens a lot of older senior citizens. are being used for tick tock clout. and you see that a lot man and right. here grandma got birded down about 10. years ago or something five years ago. she was working at a panda express. obviously and uh i don't wanna i. should it ain't nobody's business. but mine.

somebody wanted to freaking warm up that. pink monkey you feel me and um that's. what happened and i hate to say that. it's pretty you know i feel pretty dirty. saying it um but. you know we all know what sex is and how. it happens. and that's insertion. so uh. yeah people blasting out their. grandparents so they could get that. clout that tick-tock faint they're doing. the same thing with mentals on there.

you know you'll scroll through a. tick-tock and next thing you know you. logged onto a couple of minnows. and there's some guy over there eating. out of a dog bowl or something. are they putting you know they beating. them with it you know. you know pillows you know they'll get. two minnows out there and have them. pillow fight each other. you know before they get on a little bus. or whatever and it's just. that's what people are getting off on i. guess. and build building their clout with.

and some of this who knows how it can go. how it could end you know that's what i. wonder how does it. what's the long term. you know when i was young they had a. group that would come to our town it was. called fist fights. and it was this was a group that came. through louisiana it was gay men would. fist fight each other if i wanna i. can it ain't nobody's business but. mine. and this isn't my term for it this is. what they called it this was a different. time where people were.

you know it wasn't about the wording it. was about who people are and what's. happening. and there was a lot of love and support. in the air and we'd go out and pay five. dollars to go over there to the bar. and uh. and watch these fellas arm down baby. i mean watch these boys just knuckle out. um. and you know obviously one of my best. friends was one of the. strongest gay uh fighters in america. ever named billy conforto.

and he passed away man and i i gotta. reach out to chucky over there and we. gotta get a bench for him. over there in slidell and we'll see what. we can do so i'm gonna do that this week. but. um. yeah so anyway that's what's going on. grandma's pissed man because she's. trying to get that wing that late wing. and you start to wonder as you get older. what's the last hurrah. when you're gonna get that last butt. that last bust you know that last suckle.

when do you think it's too old when do. you think you'll shut it down at six. and you can hit the hotline for that as. well. 985-664-9503 when you're going to shut. down that sex that booty magic. you know when you're going to stop uh. doing that um. that dirty david copperfield you know. put out you know i'm pulling that rabbit. out of your cooch. gang baby damn.

um. you know what we got. a. we got a really nice single mom. submission that came in right here you. know we are. you know always trying to do what we can. to help out the ladies that helped us. out. you know for those of you that were. raised by single moms. i want to thank my friend brittany too. mailed this shirt into me. and um. so let's see let's see what we got here.

that came in here's one. what's up theo my name is dalton i'm. from ventura california i'm a huge fan. of yours. big dalton what's up big dalton. and dalton is a name you might see like. a. dalton. you might see somebody say hey dalton. hey dalton. and that's you let's hear it baby. um i especially love the things that you. do for single moms my sister alex is 31.

years old she has a beautiful. four-year-old daughter named cameron and. she's also a labor and delivery nurse. in june she also found out that she had. stage four breast cancer. she's gone through 16 rounds of chemo. as well as just got her surgery done. over at ucla recently. she's starting radiation in april. um and i know a shout out from you would. mean the world to her. so i hope you guys have a good day i. appreciate you theo i appreciate you. nick as well man love you guys.

gang brother thank you man that's nice. yeah i see you there with your bj uh. with your. brazilian jiu jitsu shirts on. and uh. that's sweet that you care about your. sister so much man you know. um. you know it's amazing the magic that can. be kind of sewn between family. you know and i'm feeling a little bit. emotional at this moment but. you know there's just something special. about when we care about each other. you know and i just notice it there you.

call you know uh. sorry one more time let me get this uh. what's up theo my name is dalton i'm. from ventura california and that's big. dalton right there. yeah there's just something special. dalton about when we care when we. just are honest about how we feel you. know you call you dishonest you say man. this is who i am. this is who i care about. and uh. this is what's been going on with her. and suddenly we can all feel that.

you know there's just a real power and. vulnerability right there man um. let's call alex up man i'm sure she's a. nurse too she probably is busy. labor and delivery damn. hope i don't have any boy you feel me. son. here we go. oh beautiful picture of the two of them.

hello. hey is alex in there. yes this is her hey alex my name is theo. i am a friend of dalton's your brother. he just wanted me to give you a call i. just work on. on a podcast and we do like a thing. where people. nominate like people that that they know. that are single moms that um. that we kind of reach out to. theo oh my god yeah theo yeah that creep.

uh hey how are you today. i'm doing good how are you oh i'm doing. pretty good. uh yeah dalton he just loves you he said. you work at the labor and delivery place. that place yeah baby's dropping out like. life. that's crazy and what's going on with. them are they looking healthy you think. overall or give me really the low down. well right now they're having so i've. been out of work for. since july now wow.

on a medical leave but from what i hear. of all my friends at work it's like all. those quarantined babies they're just. booming and it's insane really. yeah so people just locked up. everyone's locked up and yeah what are. you gonna do i guess i get frisky oh i. guess man that sounds fun it also sounds. miserable though i feel like i don't. know if you want to knock something up. that you still have to live with for a. long time that seems like the scary part. to me okay. well what i i was asking them and like. how many like you know kids you have to.

be at first you had all the schools put. down and parents are showing a little. work. oh you think we're gonna see a spike in. teen pregnancy. i do. yeah that's what i'm talking about if. mom and dad are at work. oh yeah that's true i guess oh yeah if. they're going to work now suddenly oh. yeah the teens have been raring to go oh. yeah yeah. oh that was the most fun dude i mean not. trying to be pregnant but just like when. you were a teen that was like fun trying.

to sneak around and be naughty yeah. yeah exactly my uh a lot of my friends. at work are basically just like. it's insane here so. stay out as long as you can. avoid it. yeah well he just he he sent this video. and it was really sweet and he just you. know said to just nice things about you. just you know obviously really loves you. and um. and so yeah we just wanted to do. something nice we just wanted to send a. thousand bucks so you and uh the kiddo. could go do something fun sometime since. especially since you're out of work it'd.

be nice you could just go do maybe like. um. i don't know what's open over there by. you guys. things are starting to reopen um. i've been kind of waiting for disneyland. or something like that to open so i can. take she's never gone there so maybe. that's insane maybe we could do that. then when they open. yeah that sounds perfect actually that'd. be great do you guys live you guys live. in california. yeah i'm in ventura a little north from. l.a. oh yeah yeah that's nice over there it's.

pretty nice. it's yeah nice little little beach spot. kind of gets away from the la hustle and. bustle. groovy and how uh and he said you've. been in radiation or something what's. going on with it. so i um. in july last summer i was diagnosed with. breast cancer. um. so i went through. i had to have a surgery it was stage. four already so there's a little spot on. my liver that they took out and then i.

went through six months of. chemo um and then i just two weeks ago. had surgery. double mastectomy was having lymph nodes. taken out and then in a couple weeks i. will start. radiation and then i just found out that. some of the cancer had some other. type of cancer. within the there was her two positive. cells that they didn't know about so now. i'll start a year of. immunotherapy and all that good stuff. and then. yeah it's been quite quite a fun quite a.

year. it sounds like it what do you think. caused it do you know do you think like. it could have anything like kind of rung. a bell you think when you think back on. it. i mean. i don't know like i don't have any. there's no family history i'm i was 30. when i found it. um. i have i mean. maybe lifestyle you know i don't know. yeah trust me i know if that's the case. dude i got it right here. lifestyle choices.

i could see it. so yeah well it must have been a hell of. a lifestyle if you got that much of it. in your system. last night i'm like how really. did this show up at me if i'm three and. it's day four like god what did i do. it's that bad. oh man well dang that's so crazy well i. hope you feel better whenever i get um. up there to oxnard is close to you guys. right. oh yeah right next to us oh sweet when i.

come up there uh maybe later this year. you guys have to come out to a show. sometime. i would freaking love that we actually. saw you. a couple summers ago. um we went down to where we were at the. comedy store yeah we're at the comedy. store so are you there there's awesome. i'm a huge fan. oh let's start with you. yeah oh that's awesome yeah. yeah thanks no that'd be awesome um. well look thank dalton whenever you talk. to him and and we'll thank him too and. um and yeah we just want to send just a. little bit a little gift you guys can go.

do something fun especially when. disneyland opens up that would be. probably pretty sweet. so that's amazing well i just thought it. was so nice of him he just left such a. nice message you know it's uh. it's just nice when people just kind of. share how they feel about other people. you know it's like. hell yeah we all need to hear it you. know. yeah i'm gonna have to make him let me. listen to it. well look if you've done some other. things in your life you could definitely. listen to this podcast that's for sure. okay.

you'll be fine. you'll be fine um. well uh well take care and uh and thanks. for making me laugh. you're welcome you are very welcome all. right give dalton a hug for us you bet. alex y'all have a good one i will you. too thank you bye-bye. damn do i say bye-bye at the end oh. jesus christ man what are you doing dude. what are you freaking doing man.

bye bye. ah. just say bye yeah. hey thank you. anything like that man. oh that sounds perfect. yep definitely we'll chat soon any of. those are good options bye bye. bye bye. ah. oh. man. man she sounds so sweet huh.

isn't it what man it's so wild how life. picks and chooses and how the world. picks and chooses certain things you. know. and who has to battle something who. doesn't. and how we feel about it. i could have talked to two people i i. could have talked to 2 000 people today. that are doing great that are just move. like who are moving into a new house or. doing you know. or just got a a b on their paper or a b. minus even. or c plus or anything and.

and they wouldn't have been stoked. you know. and here you got alex and she's feeling. stoked man. um. it's just a reminder it's just that. equalizer. you know. it makes me wonder what life is what it. all what you know what it is what are we. doing out here. because the the biggest moments really i. find i find you know i get a lot of joy.

when i do things like a roller coaster. or if you touch a little titty for the. first time that early titty. but outside of that. and actually riding in the back of a. truck is fun sometimes when you're young. feeling that wind on you and just. feeling like anything's possible. you know going sky diving is fun it. feels good.

you know even busting down a little gram. every now and then if you had to when. you was you know a child or something. doing you know getting. a buzz or doing a cigarette. but as i get older really the thing that. makes me feel a little good is just that. what just that one moment of spark. or just that thing when people are just. being honest saying hey you know i'm. just a human. living thing.

and. this is who i'm proud of this is how i'm. feeling this is what's going on. you know. i want to say i want to take one moment. out of my lifetime to throw a little bit. of homage to my sister who's had a tough. go and just let her know how much i love. her. you know let's just let her know that i. think about her when she's not around. let her know that she means something to. me.

you know we have a. you know especially i know people. understand that have struggled and. people we all i think we all just have a. human desire we want to know that we're. being thought of or if we want to know. that we. people care when we're not around you. know we talked about it on here before. you know i think we all do so just a. nice display of that. nice to see that man that's where i find. god right there man. that's really that's really where i find. god. um.

oh. you know what. how am i gonna top that. how am i gonna top that. i don't think i think we're okay we'll. be good for another week. if you got some exciting tick tocks or. things you think we should discuss we. want to try and get a little more visual. on the program. i want to thank dalton for his. submission for his sister. uh i want to thank zachary from uh. illinois looking for the senior quote.

um. we got some other calls that came in and. we'll get to them next week and we just. want to wish you well. alex. we want to just let you know you gotta. just hundreds of thousands of new people. that are just cheering for you and. thinking of you. and uh. yeah that'd be fun when i come up there. i'm looking to start a new tour actually. towards the end of the year. so we'll get into some of that later. um. you know. a lot of neat things i gotta go get them. groceries man.

and see what it feels like to be in a. dang new place it sounds scary huh. remember and it's also hard to remember. where the light switches are that kind. of stuff just a lot of acclimation. so. but uh. but thank you uh dawn for the nomination. yeah we want to do just send you a nice. gift alex and i hope you go have fun. um when the world opens up for you and. your little girl man and i just. you know i remember when my sister had. her first baby and.

you know that little girl is 12 now i. think and. man she just still means the world to me. and um. and the bond that that creates between. uh siblings when some one of them have a. child it's just real special and uh. just glad to be reminded of that today. of what that connection piece is you. know praise god baby ptl right a lot. um. all right let's go out. uh.

just how i get that feeling sometimes. you gotta get it man one person i know. that always uh helps me get there larry. fleet where i find god. [Music]. happy st paddy's man. [Music]. he paid my tab and put me in a cab.

but he didn't have to. as he could see i was hurting. oh i wish i'd got his name. cause i didn't feel worth saving. but he saved me just the same. shout out sherlock and yard boy. and pop.

day out on. [Music]. for making this episode. [Music]. like this. [Music].

come on. [Music]. sometimes.

[Music]. [Music]. i don't know what they're saying. [Music].

but it sounds like a him to me. come on. [Music]. but thanks for everything let's go lara. bear come on. [Music].

me and him just riding around sometimes. that's where. [Music].

[Music]. while i do that. that's where i find. god.

um i said hitter baby. man that really is that hitter right. there uh thank you nick and sean and. colin. uh producers and associate producers for. helping me put together an episode today. thank you for. for everybody that listens to the. podcast man. and uh and is a part of our lives and uh. for letting us be a part of yours. um you guys be good to yourself you.

deserve it okay.