Dr. Tara Swart | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #532

today's guest is a woman I've been. intrigued with for a while um she is a. neuroscientist she's an author and she's. an adviser who focuses on how to get. Peak mental performance uh she wrote a. bestselling book called The Source which. is all about things you can do to be. your best self uh she's a fascinating. woman and I'm grateful for our chat. today's guest is Dr Tara swart.

on. [Music]. me I'll sit and tell you my. story. shine on. me and I will. [Music]. [Applause]. find just um so you know all this air. conditioning and ice is really playing. Havoc with my throat really yeah cuz I'm.

not used to it so yeah they don't have. it in the UK huh. no yeah sometimes you know I wonder. um you know I find sometimes there will. be I'll go on vacation and I'll stay in. a place that doesn't have airon MH you. know and it's kind of cool because at. first I'm like this sucks but then like. you feel a lot more connected to Nate. like just the uni I don't know what it. is the environment yes minimum yeah you.

feel way more connected to the. environment when you don't have air. conditioning you don't have all these. kind of little comforts you know cuz. you're always kind of trying to balance. everything for the perfect amount of. comfort that's what I feel like I'm. trying to do these days it's like I'm. always trying to like okay the air. conditioner I'm am I laying the right. like when I go to sleep specifically. it's like am I laying the right way do I. it's like I have to have so many little. things kind of perfectly lined up or. everything's not going to be okay you. know but do you do that thing where you. blast air conditioning but you sleep.

under loads of blankets and yeah why I. don't get. that why not just have the bedding. that's correct for the temperature that. it naturally is yeah I think cuz people. have just gone Rogue people don't know. how to just be just people are just. crazy like that really they're really. sleeper paaths I call them because it's. kind of crazy to yeah you're right like. I'm going to put it at 65° and I'm going. to bundle up like it's like I'm in. Antarctica exactly yeah and then the.

craziest stuff is sometimes you'll see. like some people have like a rainforest. they have an eye mask on it literally. seems like they're being um it's kind of. the same thing as if you were being. tortured in a country like in a you know. it's like they've got eye mask there's. like water dripping in the back just. you're like this is this is what they. used to do to prisoners it seems like. you know Theo I knew I was going to. laugh with you I can't believe I've got. the giggles like already do you really. yeah oh well um I like I like an ey mask.

personally cuz I I don't can't tolerate. any light when I'm steeping but when you. said I have to be in the right position. do you actually know what the right. position is according to a. neuroscientist uh-uh for sleeping and. I'm here with uh neuroscientist Tara. swart and you're that brain babe yeah. you're the lady that knows about the. brain I am and we're happy to hear about. it today and we're happy to have you um. do I know the right position no I don't. uh uh I.

yeah tell me how you sleep well I sleep. on my side I guess and pillow between my. legs holding a. pillow and just kind of hoping for the. best usually what do you what is the. what do you suggest so sleeping on your. side. is actually the best. position so sleeping on your side is. good yeah okay so left or right probably. when so I like to connect everything. back to evolution so when we slept in.

the cave we co-slept so we huddled. together for warmth and we probably. slept on our left side to protect our. heart and have our dominant hand ready. for an attack okay but now it doesn't. matter which side but a side is better. than back or front and the reason is. that we're cleaning out our brain very. actively overnight and if your neck is. stretched like this then it helps the. waste products to like get moved out. through the lymphatic and lymphatic. systems and you know exre treated from.

your body oh nice so yeah so I'm doing. okay no wonder you've got such a sharp. wit maybe you know it used to be better. I used to I had so much stress over the. past few years that a lot of my wit has. started has kind of dis is eroded to be. honest with you I feel like it you know. I feel I I just know it I used my brain. used to have more fun and now it feels. like it has more responsibility and so. it doesn't have the ability to have as. much fun I guess and some of that could. be growing up some of that could be. actually having more responsibility but.

I think there's just a lot of stress in. the world it feels like especially here. in the states I feel like everybody's. stressed out um do you notice is that. something that you're noticing in you. guys' field or is that even something. you guys look at so I changed career. actually around the time of the global. financial crisis and I went from being a. psychiatrist in the National Health. Service in the UK to becoming a stress. um expert and adviser for very senior. leadership people in financial services.

at that time we were seeing a lot of. high-profile suicides and heart attacks. that were caused by stress even if you. weren't overweight or you know had high. blood pressure or smoked or something. like that so that was a time where a. former psychiatrist kind of could really. find a niche in a in a new career to. help you know highly stressed people. then things seemed to sort of calm down. a bit but I think the new normal was.

just that we're kind of chronically. stressed all the time and then the. pandemic happened yeah so unprecedented. levels of stress health. anxiety um actual illness um and you. know potentially people dealing with. death so just took things to the next. level and meant that all of us were more. stressed than we should be all the time. and the brain is constantly monitoring. out like our stress levels there's a. hormone called cortisol yeah when that's. high all the time the body literally. goes into survival mode and and I just.

feel like that's. how so many of us if not all of us are. at the moment yeah it feels like that it. feels like everybody's in survival mode. it feels like why are we like this right. now what's going on is it really. happening that people are more stressed. or is there just so much more awareness. around it that we're also taking it on. as like a um Placebo type of thing I. really don't agree with the latter. because remember I've been a. psychiatrist for seven years before I. even started coaching in this field so. so you know there were reasons for.

people to be stressed and us to know. about it for a long. time I think what's really changed at. the start of the pandemic I actually. predicted this was going to be a mental. health crisis I also said it could be an. opportunity for some kind of spiritual. Revolution um and I think that's. happening for some people people who are. deep into that are really kind of. getting a lot out of it but for most. people the pandemic happened we came out. of it and we thought okay everything. we'll just go back to normal but.

actually everyone's Social Circle shrank. we're more lost lonely and disconnected. than I think ever before in the history. of. humanity I think the genders have become. very polarized in a way that's not good. for either gender and I think that. people are really struggling with what. to do about that and often doing exactly. the opposite of what they should be. doing so using your devices more when. actually you should be connecting with. people face to face more for example um. kind of also because of devices and you.

know let's say dating apps for example. just using people as pieces of garbage. that you can get through really quickly. instead of forming actual deep. meaningful relationships that could. nurture both parties well it makes sense. I mean say if you're looking on Amazon. and you see different items you're like. I don't want this one not this one maybe. this one let me read up on it n yes and. then you are looking on the same thing. and it's people it would make sense that. you start to um.

treat them the same way in a way without. even realizing it maybe you know uh. especially because of that you know some. of that phone access what effects do we. see when we're really stressed out that. people may not notice I had an. experience years ago where I was. extremely stressed some people I. couldn't even talk to some of my close. friends just because of the volume or. the speed they communicated at I just I. was like it's too I just couldn't handle. it I was so burnt out and I thought. though that I just wasn't working hard. enough.

that was my first thought I was like I. got to do better I'm not doing well. enough and that just burnt me even more. um what's the best way to recognize when. you're somebody that's at the brink kind. of before you get there I guess I always. said that one of the most cruel aspects. of any kind of mental health issue is. that the first symptom is loss of. insight so that means that the first the. first thing that happens to you is you. actually lose the clarity that something. is going wrong.

so being aware is really important and. sometimes this will come from your. friends and family saying Theo what. what's going on like you're working like. a maniac and you don't really seem well. um or it could come from if you've had. previous experiences so maybe if you. ever got into that place again now you. might recognize it quicker because. you've been through it before for sure. um and something like journaling can. really help with that as well for you to. kind of have a tangible thing that you. can read saying I'm not sleeping well. and that's usually a sign that I'm. getting burnt out or you know I've. withdrawn from my Social Circle so yeah.

some kind of reflection of yourself yeah. yeah once you know what that is I used. to have in my journal a list of things. to do when I'm stressed because I would. find that when I get to the point of. realizing that I'm stressed I don't. really have the higher mental functions. of working my way out of it but now I. don't need to look at that list I kind. of and it's very simple things talk to a. friend have a square of dark chocolate. take a nap go for a walk you know. nothing kind of too extreme um so once.

you've started doing those things a. little bit then it's obviously also. important to um address the the cause of. your stress so if for you it was working. excessive hours then trying to do. whatever you can to you know minimize. that in the near future or if you. possibly could like take a quick digital. detox break over a long weekend or. something you might feel a lot better. yeah one of the things I learned is that. if I just take two days of kind of you. know drinking lemon water in the morning. and just kind of you know slowing down.

and eating really clean that it can make. a big difference in just two days if you. say you know I can't take proper time. off for two months but I can do this two. days you might be able to reset yourself. and I try to share a lot of information. about resetting your nervous system so. there are two modes we can be in um. fright flight fight or rest is that. three modes or no fright flight fight. that's one of them that's one of the mod. one mode yeah one mode has three parts.

yeah it's like you know you get a shock. you want to run away or you have to. attack a predator kind of thing and the. other mode is rest and digest and that's. the nice feeling you get after you've. had a nice meal and you just feel a bit. lazy and really calm and so we want to. be in in the rest and digest mode more. of the time but we tend to find that. we're hypervigilant like looking out for. the next threat um and actually if. you're willing to share I I have some. research to share about the way that you. grew up in that kind of environment um. so there's a lot of breathing exercises.

that you can do to move yourself into. the restful state for me things like. going for a long walk in nature really. helps me to to get into that state so. people have to identify what it is that. for you can reset your nervous system. really quickly but it's up to you it's. up to us right it's like I think. sometimes we're all looking for. something to fix us or a certain. medicine or a certain tea or a certain. you know we're looking for something to. get the job done for us but in the end. you really have to take uh control of it.

yeah I mean you mentioned medication and. I didn't even respond to that because to. me that's the absolute Last Resort um. but I think culturally the UK and the US. are a little bit you know different on. that oh yeah we're pretty pilled up over. here we're like our pills you know yeah. yeah and I did um I did actually bring. you a little tea that's a kind of like. calming nurturing one so you know. there's nothing wrong with that you. brought me this nice gift actually very. sweetie I saw this store while I was. walking in London and I saw it it's. called fortam and Mason it was real. fancy in there but yeah they got some.

nice tea right here raps City Botanical. infusion this looks nice baby this. little canister oh it's a girl um yeah. it looks nice this is very sweet of you. thank you you're welcome I'm going to. remember to calm down and have me some. of this is this for calming down good I. need it it's hard yeah it's hard to calm. down it's hard to calm down when you. feel like well there's also this feeling. these days like you're you have to fend. for yourself I think that's a big. feeling of a lot of stress right now.

it's like everybody kind of feels that. um in America some of the fabric of our. society has started to kind of disappear. it's like a lot of things that we felt. like um people used to feel a sense of. purpose from our country and we're not. feeling that now and so immediately that. kind of like gets very scary you know uh. cuz then you're like well what do I. belong to and the closest thing you find. is yourself or your family and so those. are the things you really start to lock. on you know yeah I mean I there's two.

things I want to say here let's I'll. start with myself and then come to you I. have worked very hard to create a. large community of people around me that. I really trust that make me that make me. feel safe although you know I agree that. safety and Peace and Freedom have to. come from yourself but you also create. the narrative that you have about the. world um through your experiences and. your perception of the world ever since. you were a child. but there's a choice as an adult that.

you can make to change some of that so I. put things into place that I can see. every day in my life that make me feel. like the world is a safe place where I. can take some risks and I can trust and. that could make my life better but I can. completely understand why if you haven't. worked on that for decades um and maybe. you don't know about things like. neuroplasticity which we can come on to. you know how you can change the Pathways. in your brain that it's very easy to. fault to the world is not a safe place.

I'm you know I'm not safe I I can't. trust anyone I have to be careful and. this particularly came up for me when I. was um looking into some research and. and you shared with me that um well I. won't put words into your mouth I asked. you to identify the first age at which. you experienced some kind of neglect or. abuse or trauma in childhood yeah would. you like to share what you said yeah for. sure I um I talk about this sometimes on. and I don't want to beat a dead horse.

but this is an environment where it's. it's like helpful to share about that. kind of stuff um yeah my mother had like. a condition I think where she couldn't. um she had like this kind of almost I. say like it's an emotional autism in a. way but she didn't know if there was. something wrong with you yeah my mother. didn't really build like a connection. with me when I was young she didn't. really look at me she didn't touch me. very much and she couldn't tell if there. was something wrong with me so if I was. sitting somewhere crying she didn't. she didn't understand there was.

something wrong right or if I looked. scared she didn't understand there was. something wrong now if I had a cut on my. arm she immediately could be like oh how. can I what's going on here cuz it was. very OB I don't know if it was obvious. or is tangible it's physic it was. tangible yeah but anything that was. intangible like emotional there was just. no there was nothing there you know and. so I think yeah when I grew up it was. just like that a lot and so I was. constantly in fright or flight probably.

yeah and I I know that you you want to. like heal and move on and not flog a. dead horse but I really feel like I can. bring some new information to you that. could really help you great no it's good. um so there's a psychological um sort of. construct called um psychosocial stages. of childhood development now Freud first. described this and basically said you. know whether it's from zero to two or. two to five or 5 to seven whenever you. feel like the first you know separation. from your parents or illness or.

something happened there's a rewiring of. that child's brain um and Freud said the. outcome is always bad so something goes. wrong you know you suffered neglect or. trauma this is what's going to be wrong. with you but Ericson came along later. and said that it could be a vice or a. virtue so something could go wrong and. obviously a lot of people end up you. know in with substance abuse or. criminality and things like that but if. you're lucky if you have you know One. support adult in your life or you as a.

child make some kind of amazing. intuitive Choice then you can go down. the other path now for you having. experienced this from zero to 18 months. which is the first stage and then on. it's um the vice and virtue are mistrust. and. Trust so if you go down the road of. mistrust it's having feeling unsafe in. your environment and having fear of. future events but it's also possible. that you could have gone down the road. of feeling safe in your environment and.

hopeful for future events and the piece. I really loved which is connected to the. gift so after you shared that with me. before I. flew I never ever take a gift to someone. if I'm going to do a podcast and I also. think it's a little maybe a slightly. strange thing to do but I just had this. feeling in my heart like I really want. to get him a gift and obviously that. shelf is like very English so that made. sense but I walked around the entire. store and I looked at every tea and it. has like teas and jams and cookies and.

stuff and I finally found that one and. picked it and then I did further. research into. Ericson and he basically said that the. way for you to heal is through. nourishment and affection and that was. exactly why I chose the gift that I. chose for you so obviously my like. Neuroscience experience kind of um. brought me to an intuitive answer but. it's also said that if you do the right. work and you're still in the window of. opportunity because it's sort of in your. 40s you know midlife is actually a big.

opportunity to rewire your brain in a. really healthy way then what the outcome. that you could have would be a really. positive experience of interdependence. and. relatedness well thank you it's very. sweet of you and it's nice to have and. um we'll make sure to keep it in here so. we can remember that too and our and our. listeners and viewers can look at it and. remember that too that um yeah that. there's a way to move forward right uh. that's the biggest thing because at a. certain point you kind of get TI there's.

part of you that gets tired. of using the past as a crutch kind of. there's a part of you that still is in. some pain from it um and then there's a. part of you that slowly comes along that. you know that really wants to move. forward you know and that part starts to. grow I've noticed that part grow in me. more especially in the past year so I'm. grateful for that I never really thought. that that that would kind of happen but. um is there a way that people can choose. the perspective that they want if they.

want to choose mistrust or trust now. that they're an adult you know yeah so. interestingly um Carl Yung another. psychologist also said that 42 to 44 is. the sort of corridor of age where we go. from not being our best selves to the. ability to choose and I think you're in. that I'm in there yeah yeah and you said. in the last year it happened so unless. people have some kind of Crisis like a. divorce at the age of 35 or something. then people don't usually come to this.

point of like do I choose trust or. mistrust until naturally until about 42. to 44 um and so first of all obviously. you have to know that that there are. these options so if people Google. Erikson's stages of psychosocial. development Yeah so basically trust. versus mistrust is the first one that. was you a lot of my CEO clients are in. the industry versus inferiority one um. which is Age 5 to S usually and is that.

like uh the you always hear a lot about. um you don't think you're good enough or. whatever yeah imposter syndrome yeah. yeah yeah you always hear about that. imposter syndrome yeah yeah yeah is. pornography causing a problem in your. life that's a good question it's a real. question it has in mind it has at. certain periods in my. life uh watching porno and everything. and watching porno was making me it was. ruining my life is ruining my life man.

made me feel just so much shame that's. what it did well watching pornography. has become common place today and often. times men will use porno to numb the. pain of loneliness boredom anxiety and. depression that's why I want to. introduce you to my friend Steph Walt. Steve is the founder of Valor recovery. he is a dear friend of mine he is a dear. friend of mine and Valor recovers is a. program to help men overcome porn abuse.

and sexual. compulsivity that's right their coaches. are in long-term recovery and they will. be your partner mentor and spiritual. guide to transcend problematic behaviors. there is zero Commitment if you reach. out to them it's just the first step and. trying to figure out if you may need. some help if you can get some help to. learn more about Valor recovery please. visit them at Valor recovery. coaching.com or email them at.

admin Valor recovery. coaching.com the links will be uh on the. YouTube and again there's no commit when. you commitment when you reach out to. them um but I promise you uh only. something positive will come uh from you. reaching out and figuring out if um if. what type of help if any uh could. benefit you thank you how do we adjust. adust our perspective is it is it that.

possible that we can adjust our. perspective now yeah so there's this. amazing thing called neuroplasticity. when I was still at Medical School um we. didn't have sophisticated scanning. techniques you know for brains or bodies. so we had kind of like X-rays and um oh. yeah and just asking people guessing. yeah kind of you know and and in. neurology a lot of guessing because if. someone had a brain tumor but but you. knew where it was roughly then you would. say oh now we know which part of the. brain you use for like writing or it was. a lot of guess work in neurology.

particularly once we could scan brains. we could um see how healthy brains are. working so what's happening when you're. experiencing an emotion or you're. recalling a memory or you're making a. decision um or you know being really. funny um you know we can see what's. going on in the brain which parts of the. brain are interacting with each other. you know which systems are getting a lot. of blood flow and so we also then found. out that CU we used to think that by the. time you stopped physically growing like.

age 18 that your brain became completely. fixed your personality your IQ Etc we. now know that the brain actively grows. and changes till we're about 25 so if. you think of a newborn baby it's it. can't do anything and within 18 months. it's ridiculous. really if you look at him you're like. this is ridiculous you know like you. would never draft one on your fantasy. team or whatever you know they just it's. bad but anyway go on I mean I like what. God does some of that is the starting.

point is very far you know it's you're. off you're far off the line it feels. like but is isn't it incredible what. happens within 18 months yeah so you. know then they're like walking they can. control their own bladder and bowels. they can speak up to five languages if. they've been exposed to you know. different languages in the first few. years of their life um so that's that's. the biggest example of neuroplasticity. that change is is incredible as you've. just said and then in teenage there's. quite a lot of change you know the brain.

becomes a bit more sophisticated for. adulthood and then this process is going. on really actively till we're about 25. and then from 25 to sort of. 70ish you have to put in more effort to. get your brain to change to to get your. brain to keep learning and growing but. it's absolutely possible um and for some. people it's okay to Plateau you know if. you get a job that you love and you want. to do that for the rest of your life and. you married your high school sweetheart. and nothing really needs to change.

that's fine too but you know for a lot. of us this opportunity to think that you. can really change your personality your. career your community your resilience. throughout your life is is like a Beacon. of Hope so yeah 100% yeah because you. start to think oh it's too late you know. and uh but you're saying it's not no. wonderful so once you know about and. also like I'm doing that thing about. saying so the whole time which I'm going. to start doing do people say it a lot. yeah who does Americans I was well an.

American producer told me that everybody. does it says so yeah I don't know if we. we might I don't know I don't know that. much but anyway yeah I'm hopeful that. you know what you're talking about cuz I. don't you. know um if you know about. neuroplasticity that that means you know. that you have some options to change the. way that you behave in the outside world. or your thought patterns and your. beliefs about yourself right so you're. saying there's still a lot of hope.

there's still a lot of Hope for people. from 20 to 75 there's still a it's yeah. it it shouldn't be something anything. you feel hopeless about your brain you. can still and that's the main thing you. got to change yeah and you might be able. to identify what that is for yourself. but I think this Ericson stages is a. really helpful one because people can go. and look up the age that they were when. they first felt abandoned or neglected. and then work out what their particular. issue is and work on that but if I was. doing a proper session with you you know. like I do with with people I would ask. you what is the repeated negative.

thought that you have about. yourself um I don't know if it's a. thought but it feels like a belief and. it just feels like I have to do. something to be worth. something that's the biggest one I think. that was always there. like whatever I do isn't you know this. isn't good enough you're not enough yeah. you know that was like a deep one and. it's it's not even something I think.

it's just something that it's almost. like a magnet that's inside of me you. know and it it brings my other thoughts. down to it a lot of times so you you've. kind of said the thought and the belief. which which often what I have to do with. people is dig under the thought to. actually find out what the belief is. that's driving that thought and then I. help people to create an affirmation. that's the opposite of that belief yeah. cuz sometimes it's like the thought will. be man this isn't good enough mhm and it. goes back to the.

belief that you know I would always set. my goals ridiculous so always I felt. like I was underachieving always cuz I. had I don't even know what my goals were. but I just knew that I needed to get my. mother's attention I needed to get some. feeling I needed to get some response. right and I would try everything and so. and nothing worked and so I think it may. it created this thing inside of me. where you always have to keep trying. some there's never a piece you have to.

keep trying and it's always never going. to work yeah everything you do will. never be enough just to even get that. minimal piece of attention from your. primary caregiver yeah yeah everything I. do will never be enough and so it. started is then that kind of went. through my life I guess you know so have. you heard of a part of the brain called. the amydala yeah um so this is where all. our basic emotions come from like. caveman stuff huh yeah yeah um and. there's that movie I think it's called. free solo about the guy who climbs like. a crazy vertical Cliff face in eusee oh.

yeah that guy's really interesting have. you seen his brain scan no okay so they. found out that basically he doesn't. really have an amigdala or any activity. in his amigdala so he can't feel fear. and that's why he'll do things that you. and I would be like I'm not going to do. that CU I'm going to die if I do that. yeah yeah so yeah my buddy Jeff was like. that he would always yeah he would just. burn a lot of [ __ ] in his house and. stuff and like and he he was just he was.

an idiot but um oh wow this is that. guy's brain scan this is so cool that. you do this by the way yeah it's neat to. be able to see things you know wow so he. doesn't have a fear so some people have. less fear than other people so fear is. actually our most basic emotion and and. in this movie in this documentary they. showed that the reason he could do these. crazy things was because he wasn't. experiencing fear but in similar. research we see that female primates who. have damage physical damage to their.

amydala will neglect or even physically. abuse their. babies so what's becoming interesting. now is that this psychological stuff. like you say I think my mom had some. form of emotional autism it's becoming. much more aligned to physiological stuff. so kind of now we say anything. biological probably has a psychological. element and anything psychological you. know may be un underpinned by some kind. of neurological issue so you know it's. perhaps too late to. investigate that but it just makes the.

point that there are so many reasons you. could have been like that and none of. them are actually to do with you right. um yeah because as a youth you think. it's your yeah when you're of course. when you're a baby or a kid you. everything the world revolves around you. so if the world isn't giving you any a. lot of stuff back then you think it's. your fault you know and so that's where. you create ideas like oh I'm not enough. nothing I ever do will be enough you. know. um and how do you think this is out in. your relationships with women throughout.

your life it's been tough I think you. know it's been tough I remember I would. be like I didn't know how long to look. at a girl when you when you looked at. them you know I I didn't I would get. super nervous I remember like in my 20s. if there was like intimacy or something. you know I got super it made me super. nervous I always felt nervous um it gave. me like yeah sexual problems cuz just. the the Mist like I think just not.

knowing how to be around. somebody. uh those types of things for sure. um and then I think fear like I put. woman on a pedestal a lot of times you. know it was like. if they were always kind of unattainable. in a way inside of me you know I was. like. oh um I'm not going to get a girl that I. want I'm just going to get a girl that. you know I'll hope the best that a girl.

will want me right so that was kind of. maybe some of my some thought patterns. those aren't all the things that I have. today you know some of that is certainly. uh eroded and I've learned a lot over. the years and stuff um but those are. some of the things I think if that's. what you're asking about yeah yeah I. mean it makes sense because it's. basically a mirror of you know no matter. what I did I couldn't get my mom's. attention so women must be so far away I. won't be able to get their attention.

yeah and then if one did I would like. kind of I would be overbearing kind of. sometimes you know I just you learn all. that kind of stuff the hard way then. you're like you know if a girl looks at. you one time or even like you know even. if she's just taking her garbage out or. whatever and you're hiding in the bushes. or whatever but even if she looks over. you're like damn this might be something. real you know I would fan like before. I'd even I would adjust kind of my plans. I was like I'm going to go out of 10 but. then I'd seen this girl I was like maybe. I'll Stand on a few extra days maybe. I'll see this girl again just like very.

um you know kind of I kind of based a. lot of my life around the hope that I. that there would be some connection you. know so that kind of stuff I think. wasn't very healthy um and then when I. did get a connection with a woman I. couldn't if I couldn't do it was too. much kind of it was very hard to uh to. lock in on a relationship but I always. found myself cheating that sort of thing. you know have you heard about this. hormone called oxytocin yeah yeah so.

actually the way that we build the. emotional architecture in our brains is. through eye contact with our mom so you. didn't have that and you also didn't get. physical affection which you know your. mother holding you or kind of you know. cuddling you would induce oxytocin and. that would help to build healthy neural. architecture in your emotional system so. you you didn't you didn't have that so. no the AR the architecture was very. limited it was luckily it was a damn you.

know it was more of a Hardies I felt. like that somebody had buil her a Tim. Hortons inside of me it was very yeah it. was just a you know it was just like. more of a kebab Shack you know than it. was like a real fixture of love it felt. like you know I was going to say I don't. know what Tim Horton is so I could kind. like a drive-through establishment okay. you know it wasn't a real place of like. uh you know there wasn't a ton of value. like in the architecture I don't think. but and in your life now whether it's.

through friends family pets um you know. sometimes even things like bathing or. getting a massage how much physical. affection do you. get. um well it's weird cuz I kind of created. a life that's kind of isolating. sometimes um because I think that's. maybe what I was used to and then uh but. now it's gotten better I go do get more. massages I find myself I am able to lock. in a little bit more on communication. um with women um I I feel more confident.

um you know I've been like done therapy. for a long time I did some iasa seminars. things like that so plant medicine so. there's been things that I think have. helped me you know okay so for people. who are lonely because I think this is a. you know an issue as well at the moment. bathing instead of showering actually. gives you oxytocin because you're. enveloped in warmth it's kind of like a. hug so that's one thing that people can. do um oh yeah when you get out of a warm. bath you're just like oh man you know. yeah yeah you almost feel like a baby.

kind. of do you think this is the reason that. you sleep with the air conditioning on. so high and so that you're wrapped up in. lots of blankets it could be oh I notic. if I don't tuck the blanket under my. feet then it's very hard for me to sleep. so I'm still yeah I'm definitely a very. tall. baby I think you know yeah I think so so. that's okay I have to remember that. sometimes you know um yeah I mean I'm in. like recovery programs and they're. always like we're all babies we're just.

[ __ ] or not or I don't know if they. people say like but that we're like not. do we're just babies that are having a. tough time you know like if you saw a. baby smoking or drinking a coffee you'd. be like God this baby is in a bad way he. isn't doing well yeah the baby was. taking like uh propesa or like God this. baby needs some help needs some help so. yeah I'm one of those babies but I'm. getting better I feel like I'm a kind of. a I'm like now I'm like a camp counselor. of the babies you know I'm not as much. you know I'm still kind of a baby but. I'm I'm evolving out of it pretty quick.

I hope so another tip for you I'm. pleased to hear that you're having. massages and therapy yeah but I find. that there's a place that talking. therapy can't go beyond and that is. trauma that is stored in the body that. you're not even consciously aware of. have you heard of that book the body. keeps the score yeah so it was written. in the' 70s but it's back in the. bestseller list which is making me feel. hopeful that more people are realizing. that since the pandemic that we've got. trauma stored in our bodies so I've.

actually recently been doing some. sematic therapy called body. realignment and it seemed to be for me. surfacing emotions that I perhaps don't. allow myself to in talking therapy or in. regular life I think there are some. emotions for example anger that it's. quite still socially unacceptable for. women to express that's a good point. yeah women aren't allowed to get super. angry I guess when I did boxing I she. like felt like I released a lot of anger. as well that that you know it's I can.

only do that physically whether it's. through a sport or this kind of you know. body thing and I think for men it might. be things more like sadness that that. it's not socially acceptable to express. as much yeah probably so I think a. little bit even though it's more now I. think people are kind of now. everything's a little bit more free um. what type of trauma get really can get. held in our. bodies oh all sorts so that phrase is. psychosomatic is that all the various.

emotions that we can feel can end up be. showing up as physical symptoms in our. body um and that can be actual Illness. but also it can just be aches and pains. for me it's like tense shoulders and. just aches and pains um and but when I. actually had the body realignment. therapy there were parts of my body that. I wouldn't even think like kind of like. the size of my ribs and things that was. so painful um and the therapists they. know which parts of your body can you. know certain emotions get stored in so I.

think for that one you really have to. find someone that can guide you through. that and but the point I another point. that I really wanted to make is we talk. a lot about trauma and like you know. like you set such a great example to. people of don't just keep focusing on. the trauma and be a victim I actually. think we have as much access to. generational healing as we do to. generational trauma so you know horrific. things have happened in the past like. the Holocaust aparte slavery the.

treatment of the first Americans um yeah. France went in the World Cup as well. some people would say that was bad it. was. pretty oh um yeah well affect people for. Generations into the future yeah totally. some people it will but what were we. going to say so I was going to say that. we can also get access to ancestral or. ancient wisdom and if if we put that. together with the IC stuff think about. what our ancestors did when they didn't.

really have resources spare to have fun. right but they danced they drummed they. chanted they hummed they sang they. painted these physical activities are. actually really good for us can and can. help us to release some of that stored. trauma so I'd love people to go away. with that message that yes you might. have stored trauma that talking therapy. hasn't completely got rid of but there. are things that you can do at home you. don't have to pay for a massage you can. you can do self massage you can take a. bath you can dance around your living.

room and all of these things could also. help you to release that kind of trauma. yeah yeah I've noticed there will be. times where I've done yoga in a certain. thing and then I'll lay down after and. tears will come out of my face really. and it's just pain something being. released sometimes a memory or something. might be with it or a feeling but it's. it's yeah it's pretty amazing that that. kind of thing can happen in yoga hip. opening particularly releases a lot of. emotions so again people can Google some. some of the like hip opening poses and. you're supposed to stay in them for.

longer like 5 minutes um and if it. produces tears then it's definitely. helping release trauma yeah I feel like. we've kind of been all over the place. right now I want to talk so let's go. through a couple things so I want to. know like does stress affect men and. women the. same this is a really interesting one so. there are different forms of stress one. is called adaptive stress and it's. actually a very healthy response to a. short-term stressor like a deadline or. podcast interview or something um and.

then there's the chronic stress which is. bad for us because it starts to erode. our immunity um it causes a lot of. inflammation throughout the body but the. differences between men and women aren't. with regard to those it's with regard to. um how we respond to being in either of. those situations so men and all of this. is based on population Norm studies so. it's most men and most women but not all. men are very good at reacting to a Cris. and you know releasing all of that. cortisol and adrenaline and fighting off.

the monster or whatever it is but they. have to rest. afterwards women can actually find ways. to recoup resilience during long periods. of stress so they'll still be dealing. with the stressful thing but at times. they'll find you know whether it's. speaking with a girlfriend or taking a. bath or you know going for a walk in. nature they find ways to keep their. resources topped up so they don't have. that crash that like more men tend to. have I wonder sometimes if a lot of like.

um cuz we have so everybody feels so. stressed out and it seems like it's such. a thing you know um I wonder sometimes I. think like it used to be we had to. literally like be weary of like a lying. attacking us you know it was like really. fight ORF flight like it was um but now. that's not the case right but I. wonder I wonder if that that thing that. was worried about everything out here. just started to go inside of us because. there wasn't anything else out here to. fight really yeah absolutely the biggest.

threats to our safety now are. psychological threats so things like. your partner leaving you you losing your. job your friends not liking you anymore. yeah the fear started to become internal. as opposed to external and I wonder if. we're partially just in a phase of that. you know like we're evolve you know it's. almost like an evolution because yeah. the Lions now are are the fears inside. of us like you're saying our partner. leaving us or us losing um our ability. to feed our families or um a a goal that.

we have not working out or something. losing a job yeah yeah the things that. you need to kind of keep your basic life. on on the road that it's on you know and. not lose the things that make you feel. psychologically safe are you less. stressful if you're in a relationship. does relationships or like love having. somebody a family does that affect. stress at all it depends what kind of. relationship right so yeah good point. yeah if it's an interdependent trusting.

relationship where you know both parties. in are in it for the long term then that. inevitably will reduce your stress. levels but I mean what I'm seeing a lot. of at the moment actually. is as women we tend to be having the. same conversations that you know whether. whether you're in your 20s 30s 40s. whatever um of kind of you know want to. find a nice man and settle down um but. just feeling like that desire for. commitment isn't the same as it was you.

know basically since there have been. apps and stuff like that um but I've. actually got some really close male. friends and they've been confiding in me. recently that a they don't really talk. to each other about deep things like. they do with me and that some of them. have no one to confide in wow um and you. know love lovely guys who I think would. make you know nice husbands for some of. my friends but have been so broken by. toxic relationships that they've been in.

that they now just want non-committal. casual. relationships and this is where the. problem starts is where a guy says let's. say it was you and I and you say Tara. I've had all these issues I've just told. you about my upbringing mommy issues ETC. I can't commit to you but you know we. can hang out but if I'm. thinking well you know I'd like to marry. you so I'm going to hang out with you in. the hope that you'll get to know me and. like me and change your mind. that happens so much and then it leads. to issues obviously for both parties.

when it doesn't work out so that's an. incredibly stressful place to be in no. matter what gender you are and the. outcome only reinforces for both that. you're not worthy of. Love yeah how does it reinforce that so. for the for the woman particularly if. they're actually being intimate she will. be experiencing a lot of. oxytocin um basically that happens. through cuddling and physical intimacy. but like off the scale when you orgasm.

okay so she'll be getting more and more. bonded to the guy if the guy has you. know has no intentions of this becoming. a committed relationship then he'll be. experiencing a lot of reward like the. dopamine the reward chemical lots of. testosterone um and there's also this. hormone called vasopressin which in in. both genders is to do with our blood. volume and our blood salt but for men. it's also to do with bonding social. bonding and aggression but aggression in.

terms of protecting and being possessive. of your partner and so if men don't get. to have sex straight away that hormone. will build and build and build and then. they'll become bonded to the woman and. then they'll also start releasing. oxytocin when they orgasm so there's. better value in creating a relationship. if you don't have sex. immediately it it will work better for. the woman in terms of chances of the man. bonding with her yeah yeah it's like I. feel like it sometimes I romanticize the. past and it feels like that used to be.

more of the thing you know like people. would wait till marriage for sex and so. it create you know that had a lot more. value to it like yeah I think sex um and. animacy kind of like was I don't know. for a lot of guys it got replaced by. pornography too I think really damaged. it especially for me um you know once I. once I found pornography there was a. like a way to have a feeling connection. with a woman that was safe enough for me.

to be in I knew it wasn't I wasn't going. to be hurt yeah um there was some sexual. reward to it and I could start it and. stop it as I wish and it was the only. kind of relationship I could even really. handle kind of when I was in other. relationships but those weren't none of. them were as long as my relationship. with pornography you know to be honest. um yeah and now right now I'm like SE I. think I'm 77 days off of pornography and. 70 days off of. masturbation so I've had um sexual.

activities but I haven't um been you. know uh touch him my ween or whatever. people just say different stuff you know. I'm saying like I don't know what they. say in your country you know topping off. the wanking the yeah okay wanking or. whatever yeah yeah yeah yeah thinking of. the queen or whatever they say you know. I don't know what they say um Queen. takes Rook or whatever that's like a. chess move but um. yeah so that's been kind of different. you know for me that's been different.

but that was a that was a huge thing how. is it different well for one I I quit. thinking about it it's like I don't. think about pornography I don't think. about like masturbation I don't have. that weird feeling where like I'll. masturbate and then I'll just be laying. there. like I'm still right where I was but. I've. like kind of ejaculated or whatever cuz. like sometimes like like Sean or some. people call it what I don't know what. people call it or whatever like party. sauce or whatever I don't even know what.

people call it you know on the street or. whatever but like I feel like the more I. keep it in my body the more masculine I. feel right and the more of myself I feel. as opposed to just having a leak of it. constantly you know it's kind of like. almost had a leak of my masculinity and. I would cause the leak but the leak. would happen and it was just like a. dripping pipe it was like you look at a. dripping pipe you're like ah you know. but you look at a pipe that's not. dripping you're like hey this is some. pretty good construction over here I. love that phrase leak of my masculinity.

yeah that's kind of what it felt like. you know now that I really think about. it and then um I start to look at women. a little bit I don't think of it just so. much in in I've always thought of women. in more than just a sexual sense but the. sexual part isn't as strong it's not. like let me just think about sex it's. giv me a little bit more space in myself. to be like well let me think about who. this person is and do I really want to. engage with them it starts to give a. little bit more Val you uh to sex for me.

and by do by by that happening intimacy. is kind of created because for one I. have a little more intimacy with myself. right it's like um I respect my intimacy. a little bit more I'm not just mastering. I'm not just like you know tossing my. intimacy off to some person through a. screen or something that's doesn't. really mean anything to me yeah and so I. think those are some feelings in my head. that start to um to to happen and in my. I start to feel a little bit more if. it's Integrity but it is a little bit. more sense of intimacy with myself.

that's lovely so one of the reasons that. people resort to things like that. particularly after a breakup is that the. brain circuitry that is to do with. unrequited love is. relieved by certain activities because. they cause the same kind of chemical. cocktail and those activities are things. like alcohol cocaine pornography yeah um. yeah yeah sorry yeah well it makes it. make sense right this is why people.

indulge in yeah um and obviously they're. they're addictive so then it becomes um. something that you need to do more of to. get the same reward right and that. becomes your relationship yeah yeah and. so then it's like well yeah of course. other relationships are going to be. different because I don't even realize. the relationships that I put in front of. um and the other thing is that. porography creates such an unrealistic. idealized version of what a woman should. look like like and what she should be. prepared to do in an intimate. relationship or or even not in an.

intimate relationship you know like in a. one night stand or very early in in. dating that that's very damaging to male. and female relationships as well that. you know the expectation that you will. naturally have if you've been looking at. that every day yeah oh yeah and not have. it in my brain and it starts to my my. imagination starts to start up again mhm. like that's one thing that's disappeared. over the years I feel like is our. imagination. we have access at anything you want to. see you want to see two gay guys attack.

a squirrel or whatever in a marina or. whatever you can but you can Google it. right now and it'll you'll find it like. anything you want to find out there you. can it's like we don't need our. imagination anymore you just have to. imagine you um and so that like now my. imagination starts to start up again you. know cuz uh yeah I'm not attaching porn. to women I meet now you know um and. there yeah right there squirrel attacks. twink right there that is yeah I don't.

know we were and that might have been. the rebuttal who I who knows where the. first attack started but. um but yeah so that's something that's. been really neat just on this recently. that I've been doing um and really. seeing some reward from it and you know. what's so crazy for years I tried like. different like blockers on computers and. stuff and I got started with this kind. of recovery coach and he just said why. don't you text me at night and he said. tell me something that felt good during.

your days tell me something you felt. like maybe you could have done a little. bit differently um and then tell me how. long you've been off of porn and how. long you've been off of masturbation. that's for some reason that's all it. took and it and it's just been so easy. well it's accountability maybe that's it. it's like accountability with somebody. that I trust or yeah that I trust and um. and that you respect because you'll feel. like you've let them down if you can't. get you know send those messages that's. a good point yeah it's funny I didn't.

feel that as much but I did I just felt. I was shocked at how easy it started to. help me you know um so that's been. that's one thing that's really that's. been really nice um do couples what is. the chemistry that happens in the brain. if you're in a like if you've created a. you're in a comfortable relationship or. you're you mentioned earlier that like. families have better chemistry if they. sleep together did you say something.

like that or sleeping Under One Roof you. know um like a lot of my Mexican friends. are always so happy and most of their. families uh live together. intergenerational yeah oh they sleep on. each other's back sometimes they just. you know they're really close-knit yeah. um what is is there is there scientific. evidence to back any of that up yeah. lots and the research was done on um. Prairie bows Prairie like little animals. yeah oh yeah yeah yeah bring up one. prairie dog PR V not dog Prairie V they.

call them y'all make everything fancy we. know what they are it's not a dog it's. like a little mouse thing oh it is well. let's see who's right see oh Prairie V. I've never seen that oh dang that's. rodena yeah wow is that a uh oh that. almost looks like a little bit of a. hamster or something or a little Geral. gble yeah you don't have them you got. them jel oh we is pronounced I guess. that maybe the the Jay is silent or. whatever it's not.

J that gal baby look at them those are a. couple oh I'll make slippers out of them. bad boys I'll make a newborn set of. slippers with them little warm them. little chunks of warmth out make your. slippers out of the marsh vs because. they are promiscuous these ones are. monogamous they made for life oh they do. oh that's beautiful and so they studied. them and they found out that these are. healthier animals is that what you're. going to tell me um that's a little bit. oversimplified okay I would say that the.

re so so basically that they're the same. kind of V but some of them live in the. prairie and some of them live in the. marsh okay and in the marsh there's. plenty of food and shelter so you know. why not have sex with lots of other sh. shil cuz you can it's partying it's like. being in the city yeah in the prairie to. make sure that you're young would. survive it's more advantageous for you. to settle down with one Mrs V and. protect the children protect the. territory and share the job of finding.

food for them mhm so what happens in the. prairie vs compared to the marsh Falls. is that certain receptors so for some of. the hormones we discussed like oxytocin. and vasopressin and dopamine so if we. were Prairie vs rather than Marsh vs. then you would get a dopamine hit every. time you saw me okay you would choose me. over a different V it's not like a new. strange V you'd say no I'd rather stay. with my V and you'd have higher levels. of vasopressin and. oxytocin and we'd both have more.

receptors in the reward centers of the. brain for those hormones so we would. just feel so good every time we see each. other if we saw the other one in. distress we would want to comfort them. um why did they create more. receptors we don't know we don't know. why it's not just that you have more of. the hormone but you have more of the. receptors in certain parts of the brain. it's just it's part of the bonding kind. of like. um increases the bonding the fact that. you've got more of the hormone and more.

of the receptors and it's in the reward. part of the brain but actually it's not. just like if we just hung out together. and looked after the babies and fed them. and saw each other frequently that would. happen but sexual activity actually. intensifies the wiring so it's kind of. like the genetics and The receptors load. the gun but actually having sex pulls. the trigger. interesting well so so that's why you. see if it's a if it's a healthy family. then that's why um people want to be in.

a healthy family because it feels good. yeah yeah yeah and the co-sleeping is a. different thing that's oxytocin. co-sleeping yeah which is like sleeping. together like you two and the kids are. you more is that are those people. healthier or even just the couple. sleeping together cuz some people don't. sleep together because they snore or. whatever oh yeah I know you're talking. about people in New Jersey. I want I know it I've been over there.

the women snore too dang yeah you're. like gosh is this a this my wife or is. this a Refinery I'm laying next to you. know lot of uh anyway with no other. issues like that it is more healthy for. you to sleep together because you. increase both level both of your levels. of oxytocin will so you feel better your. brain feels better totally sleeping with. someone someone that it cares or just. anyone you would get some benefits of.

sleeping with just anyone but it's it's. much more if it's somebody that you care. about and that you love and if a. family's closer together you guys. there's. a uh that's even more yeah well Indian. families like Mexican families sleep. together yeah um or at least one of the. children let's say there's a widowed. grandparent one of the children. grandchildren would sleep with them so. no one sleeps alone. M wow that's pretty cool are there. animals that do that as well that we do. you think that we learned that from all. animals do that they do well some.

obviously some animals like snow. leopards they're completely independent. they don't even stay with their children. after a certain age I know it's really. sad um but most animals will will sleep. together and so there's a a few things. that go on there one is that you. actually share your your gut microbiome. so we have an oral microbiome a skin. microbiome and a gut microbiome which. the good bacteria that help us. um not just to digest and help our. mental health but also um contribute to.

our immunity so if we ate together cured. slept together then I'm guessing I've. got a better gut microbiome than you I. would actually donate healthy cells to. you as part of a relationship really. yeah and improve your. immunity. wow so there's a lot of value in in. being close to someone and and there's a. lot of Neuroscience scientific value oh. that's. cool yeah I didn't I guess it makes.

sense you know it certainly makes sense. well we had to be part of a tribe to. survive when we lived in the cave right. for sure and if you ever seen like a. group of puppies or whatever somebody. has like a box of dogs or whatever you. know they always look like it's so if. you see them all right there by the mom. it looks like the funnest thing in the. world you even just looking at a puppy. with big eyes would make you release. oxytocin God then I need to start dating. animals then. you know I don't know what you guys's. laws are but might have to come over.

there to do it but here's some of the. world's most solitary animals right here. platypus yeah I could see that kind of. maybe polar bear that's sad man that's. sad cuz it's so cold and they're just up. there and polar bears every video you. see a polar bear it's like the polar. bear is looking for food it's just like. God like and the ice cubes are ice CU. did I say ice cubes it's floating on. like a little it's floating on like you. know four grams of ice or whatever and. it it's just like it's God it just seems.

like a horrible life snow leopard a. Sandpiper Hawaiian monk seal the chu. Wala lizard snow leopard's are beautiful. I think I feel like I would want to be. one but I wouldn't want to be on my own. you'd have to be though I'll just be a. regular leopard. then that's fair okay you're allow Miss. first of all I'd like to say thank you. to Dan Morgan and everyone over at. Morgan and Morgan um we had an issue.

with Kai The Hitchhiker and he filed a. lawsuit against us and he made quite a. Holo but Morgan and Morgan stuck with it. until finally our case was. dismissed Morgan and Morgan is America's. largest injury Law Firm they have over. 100 offices Nationwide and more than 800. lawyers with over $15 billion covering. over 300,000 clients. Morgan and Morgan has a proven track. record of fighting to get you full and.

fair compensation submitting an injury. claim with Morgan and Morgan is so easy. if you've ever been injured you can. check out Morgan and Morgan their fee is. free unless they win for more. information go to. forthepeople.com. this past weekend or dial pound law. pound 529 from your cell phone that's f. o rthe. people.com this past weekend or dial.

pound law pound 529 from your cell this. is a paid advertisement what is it about. love today that makes it seem like you. think it's harder to find or am I just. romanticizing. it I think that one of the reasons is is. that we're living so much longer so to. be honest in cave times where all we had. to do was survive to reproduce our genes. you and I we it wouldn't be worth us. being alive anymore at the ages that. we're at now right so now that we're.

living much longer. and the divorce rates are like 50%. people are looking for that you know. second long relationship or even third. long relationship that they might have. in their life so I think it's just very. hard obviously people did stay together. for like you know 50 plus years or. whatever I just think Society has. changed it's all about you know sort of. instant gratification and short-termism. and our attention spans have changed.

because of the internet and smartphones. and apps and things like that and and. and it's just become more socially. acceptable as well so in in many. cultures they still you know still won't. divorce but our the cultures that we. exist in like it's kind of quite normal. now swap meat yeah yeah it's very much a. swap meat it feels like yeah I know you. talked about like um maybe coming out of. the pandemic that people would sense a. return maybe to Faith is there any proof.

that having like faith and higher power. has a positive effect on your brain yeah. so having a moderate amount of Faith or. some sort of spiritual belief um is. beneficial for the brain but having none. or too much like fundamentalism is. actually not good for your brain H. really like how like what how does how. does have having too much affect your. brain. negatively um well it might become. associated with certain levels of. paranoia or mistrust or sort of survival.

emotions like anger or hatred or fear. because it kind of often means that you. have to be against someone right right. so when you get to the point where. you're against somebody um or where. you're so for just one thing that you're. then inherently against other things it. can get uh it's not as healthy for you. um you advise like in your work you. advise like a lot of very like powerful. people you know cuz I know that you um. have worked with like a lot of like you. know a lot of the a lot of the powers in.

the world will come to you to help them. um What are problems that powerful. people have and successful people have. like um that maybe would surprise us do. you think if you can you don't have to. get specific but if you want to share. anything well the first thing I will say. is that the problems are pretty much. exactly the same you know whether it was. a patient I saw in the National Health. Service um um as a doctor or you know as. it is now as an executive adviser to.

like very senior people and because I'm. a stress expert I do tend to see people. who are managing really high levels of. stress and complexity and they're also. traveling a lot so their sleep might be. really disrupted they often don't really. believe in sleeping that much anyway um. so it's all those sort of habits like. people who don't get enough sleep. who I mean they would tend to eat well. because they can afford to but they. might not be eating in what I call like. a brain first approach so they might be.

eating because they want to run a. marathon or because they can afford. expensive things but that's not. necessarily what's best for your brain. so I can help them with that um really. is eating certain ways better for your. brain cuz yeah I find most of the time I. eat just because I have to like if I. didn't have to eat I would a lot of. times I would just keep working or doing. something you know and I don't eat like. a a lot of variety of stuff I yeah I. don't I'm not a foodie I guess you know.

I maybe would be once I get married or. something if my wife wants to get. something or order something then I. would try something like like more new. or something but I just like I'll just. usually make a quad or have a smoothie. cuz it's easy wow so you wait till. you're hungry and then just eat. something cuz you have to yeah that's. kind of how I am it's a little bit it's. kind of sad really but it's it's okay. maybe it's because you don't know that. even though your brain is such a small. percentage of your body weight it uses. up 20 to 30% of everything that you eat.

really yeah your brain does yeah wow so. when you're asleep your brain's using up. 20% of what you ate that day what a pee. H It's Just Energy hungry that's what we. we would call it and so when you're when. you're you know really focused on. something like this you're probably. using up about 25% but if you're under a. lot of stress your brain will take up. 30% of what you're eating wow what is. what happens to our brain while we're. sleeping so the brain do you know we.

know quite a lot more about it now than. we did let's say 20 30 years ago but. probably don't know everything because. we actually don't well we've only. recently understood why we need to sleep. for um 8 to 9 hours and that's because. that cleaning process I mentioned n now. well 8 hour 15 minutes is the ideal in. in the in the sort of population Norm. studies let's raw let's round it up I'll. take nine if we we're willing to do it. nine in bed so that you get at least s. to 8 hours of sleep yeah um because that. cleansing process takes 7 to 8 hours and.

that process is Flushing out toxins that. are exactly the same pathologies that we. see in demen dementia and Alzheimer's. and things like that so and they build. up due to the Daily wear and tear of. Life stress and alcohol and you know. processed food and all that kind of. thing I know there's a big debate in. this country at the moment about Ultra. processed food but from a brain point of. view don't eat it really yeah. it's really bad for you really. bad like what are some of the effects.

that that processed foods have on your. brain well everything comes down to. inflammation so these Ultra processed. foods for your body to break them down. um is going to cause a lot of like cell. activity and then it's also leaving the. waste products from that food in for. your body to get rid of and this is. going to cause some of the cells to. become inflamed and when your body is. under stress and that the only nutrition. that it's getting then basically the.

your cortisol levels go up and that. crosses the blood brain barrier so it. supplies blood to the whole brain and. body and it will just cause inflammation. in your gut your gut talks to your brain. all the time your brain talks to your. gut. gossiping you know but that's good it's. actually a three-way gossip because your. gut microbiome is also signals to the. gut and the Brain separately. wow so your brain is super busy huh if.

it can have such an effect then what. what are what are things you recommend. that you would eat I mean obviously some. of it seems kind of obvious or things. you would or. wouldn't so I would suggest this is. ideal ideal okay this is what I do but. it's taken me years to get to this point. I eat 30 different plant products per. week now that can include coffee dark. chocolate spices so especially like if. you eat a lot of Mexican food it's not. as hard as you think to do that but you. do need to vary the sort of vegetables. that you're using um in South America.

they actually call squash beans and corn. the three sisters and attribute that to. um the blue zones of longevity in in. parts of South. America um then you do need to eat some. good quality um protein so lean proteins. like um eggs yogurt. tofu um fish say it can we do fish fish.

can we have it yeah oh good fish yeah I. like fish I like having fish a lot yeah. even like and it looks cool if you see. it in the water cuz that's the only. thing I don't like you have a thing. about fish you think yeah maybe I do but. cows you look at him you're like this. thing is dumb as [ __ ] I'm not eating. this thing that's how I feel a lot of. times you know especially the one with. the Bell on his neck or whatever you're. like this one's dumb but at least he's. trying to party but it's like it's like. cows I I know people are like meat. eaters you got to eat them but sometimes. I look at a C I'm like dang man it's I.

don't want to be eatting this thing just. seems kind of dumb you know no offense. to cows either but you know what I'm. saying kind of just like just standing. there you know they're just EAS could. easily be victims of crime or whatever. but a fish you know it just looks like. that's how I would like to be you know. okay so if you'd be an animal you'd be a. fish yeah or just something more. exciting you know I'd have yeah so I. sometimes I think like oh I should eat. things that are like things that I want. to be like maybe that would be cool. that's actually cool because I tried to.

eat things that look like a brain like a. cauliflower or a walnut oh. really that's crazy dude um wow that's. cool it kind of makes sense that it. would help it a walnut looks just like a. brain huh that's crazy yeah and if you. cut a cauliflower in half it looks. exactly like a brain too. yeah wow and then the good fats we can't. forget the good fats for the brain so. that is your oily fish um avocado eggs. nut seeds um olive oil all that kind of.

thing and then dark skinned foods are. better for your brain than regular. colored Foods so purple sprouting. broccoli instead of green broccoli. blueberries instead of. um. raspberries. because that that purple color has. antioxidants in the skin of the food. called anthocyanins which really helped. with neuroplasticity you know that. process we talked about of changing your. brain so um you know I try to eat kind.

of I try to take the purple version of. everything basically quite just like. saying dark skinned stuff is better for. you well I mean it yeah I think I've H. yeah I mean I. got BLM how many people like different. things you know you got a you know. everybody likes somebody somebody yeah. my friend only dates Brothers honestly. and um yeah so and there's a lot of. value in that so yeah I could certainly.

see that so yeah explain actually can I. share a story that yeah is a really. really kind of important one that had a. massive impact on me and I I would like. to share it because I think it could. really help people yeah I would love to. hear it so standing on the street. outside my house waiting for a. taxi and a young blonde woman walk past. me but then I I could see out of the. corner of my eye that she stopped and. turn around and came up to me and she. said are you Tara swart and I said yes.

and she said you saved my life and I was. a bit taken back so I said um you know. what was it that I said that resonated. with you because I feel like I can speak. so broadly that I don't always know what. it is yeah and she said I struggled with. a really serious eating disorder for. years and I heard you say that you. choose what you eat because it impacts. your brain and it immediately changed my. relationship with food and I have heard. I mean when I was a psychiatrist the. Eating Disorders Ward was like a. hopeless case there was there was really.

not much we could do and I've heard that. recently the latest um way of dealing. with eating disorders is tying people to. their beds and forcing them to eat and I. can't believe that's helpful for anyone. but just hearing this person say that. one thing I said changed her life so. dramatically was kind of just made me. feel like everything I've done has. brought me to the right place oh that's. wonderful that's thank you for sharing. that yeah it's so it's so powerful if. somebody comes up and you can tell. they're being real or Genuine you know.

and they share something with you and um. you must get that yeah I meet a lot of. people and sometimes you know it's like. and sometimes there's moments you're. like oh this is really cool you know and. it's like you can share and sometimes. you'll be having a bad day and they'll. tell you something that they heard you. say that helped them and you're like. well [ __ ] tell it back to me right now I. know saying you know it's like well look. thank you for coming back and telling me. because it's like the exact thing I. needed to hear right now sometimes. people my friends send me a page a photo. of a page from my book and they're like.

you wrote this like why are you being. like this. now I know it's so hard to help. ourselves a lot of times but that's why. we need each other you know my friend. James bashera he always says that we're. the keys to each other's locks actually. oh I love that I think you might have. done did you do a podcast in Venice one. day did you ever do one in. Venice maybe with Sahara Rose um it. hasn't come out yet no this is with a. man. s oh Drew perette no it was an Indian. man yeah he's he's Indian he is yeah.

yeah maybe it was him yeah was it in. Venice do you think you remember it was. in LA it was in LA yeah it looked like. my friend james' Studio I saw something. I was like oh that kind of looked like. james' Studio cuz he I I thought I. didn't know if I have no idea if it was. or not it looked a little similar um. okay let me ask you a question okay did. you know that we actually have a second. nose that's not connected to the brain. uh-uh we have a second NOS more than the. one on our face yeah okay it's called. the vomo nasal organ and it detects the.

smells of things that when you eat them. they give off a vapor like a spicy food. and it actually connects to your heart. and makes your heart rate go up but it. doesn't connect directly to your brain. huh and dogs have them it's got a. special name in dogs which I can't. remember but that's why they can smell. pheromones and also I Got This research. from my colleague at MIT who who creates. artificial noses and he's created an. artificial nose that can detect prostate.

cancer before any of our current. diagnostic test can no way and get this. this this might cause some trouble for. some people that you know it can detect. pregnancy earlier than any test at the. moment and it can tell who the father is. nuh oh my. God so it's going to be like snor poic. or whatever what are they going to put. the nose on I don't know how do they do. it they just hold it up to something.

yeah and what's it made out. of I think titanium but it's it's. connected to a machine obviously okay. yeah wow so it's a robotic nose that can. tell if you have cancer it can it can. tell if you're pregnant and tell who the. father. is what oh I wonder how expensive it is. hopefully you can just put a dollar in. the back of it and find out Nano no here. you go early this year Mion and his yeah. meran he's my friend they had created a. Nanoose a robotic nose powered by AI.

that could identify cases of prostate. cancer from urine samples with 70%. accuracy wow so really like a real piss. Samo or something they would call it or. urine. Samo um wow the Nano. nose what else can it do um early. detection of lung cancer it'll they'll. start going across the cancers so cats. and dogs in in old people's homes they. go and sit outside the door of the. person that's dying and and that's.

because cell death starts to happen. before you actually die and it happens. in a certain order and they can smell. when that's. happening that's crazy Andreas merant. also told me something but I can't. remember why so I'm going to say it on. this podcast so I can send him the link. and then ask him to explain okay which. is that if you inject rabbits with urine. from preg prant women they get that. period.

no wow if you inject them with urine. from pregnant women they get their. period. man so next time a pregnant woman's like. I'm not a problem I'll be like yeah but. you obviously are in some you got. sorcery running through your body right. now cuz that's crazy that's crazy to. think that I never seen anything like. that I wouldn't even do it to anybody. and early go back to that Nano Noose I. want to see what it's what else it can. do that's fascinating to me and do they.

have do they show any use of that Nano. nose yeah for can detecting cancer and. pregnancy but I'm just wondering do they. is it do they do they have how it's. actually used okay how it's used yeah he. also told me that um way more women are. super smellers than than men really yeah. I could bet that cuz also women are I. think over life they're like the shf F. and they do like the more of like the. they have to smell if the kids's okay or. whatever probably do you think that's.

why yeah I think so it makes sense okay. accur electric nose accurately sniffs. out hard to detect cancers and. odor-based test that sniffs out Vapors. emanating from blood samples was able to. distinguish between benign and. pancreatic and ovarian cancer with up to. 95% accuracy that's crazy but Theo wants. to see a picture of what it how they use. it like what it looks like when they're. actually sniff. patients leading cause of cancer death. in and there's a one in five chance for.

a preventive medical checkup the late. detection of prostate cancer often means. the removal of a part or the whole organ. you might There's Hope at the park. scientific de Barcelona wow that's. incredible um where does our intuition. and our gut instincts come from that's. one of my favorite questions really yeah. I love intuition it's like my superpower. oh yeah yeah um so basically cuz it's so.

cool it's kind of this it's like this. ghost that's in us a little bit yeah. kind of yeah the ghost of wisdom or. something I mean Andreas merian also. said to me that things like extra. sensory perception they're not woo woo. they're he was actually um comparing. that to the fact that most people don't. know we have this second nose he was. like there's science about it we just. haven't discovered it all yet yeah so. intuition was a bit like that it people. didn't cuz they couldn't see it it. wasn't tangible they didn't really take. it that seriously like I've been.

teaching at MIT for over 10 years now. and 10 years ago senior leaders would. say that's not a sense I would use at. work you know I'm not going to use that. for high or fire but then actually the. older wiser guys would say that's. exactly the one I use for hire or fire. because you know I've learned over time. to trust it yeah um so I honed my. intuition by journaling and reading over. my journal and writing down every. decision that I made. if like logic told me one thing and. intuition told me another and I decided. to trust my intuition more and more you.

really mapped it out yeah um I think I. was naturally quite intuitive but. sometimes I was afraid to trust it when. I felt like something else was the right. thing to do logically um so what we need. to live our normal life is called our. working memory and it's stored in the. outer cortex of the brain and then our. sort of beliefs and thought patterns you. know sort of what we were discussing. earlier on that's in systems in the. limbic part of the brain which is the.

shape and size of your clenched fist so. obviously yours is bigger than mine um. and the cortex is around it and then. through a process called hean learning. which is named after the neuroscientist. Donald Hebb because you can't remember. everything that you've experienced in. your life but you have experienced it so. that information like neurons that fire. together wire together get stored deeper. in your spinal cord and your gut neurons. and that's why intuition is sometimes. called gut instinct oh so that's why you.

kind of feel it right there you kind of. go there in your brain like what is my. gut telling me to do yeah like. butterflies in your stomach tells you. that you're nervous right yeah um but. the sense of like this is the right. thing for me to do or this is the right. person for me to date that might you. might not feel it viscerally but you'll. just get that sense H yeah it's yeah cuz. like over time it's like yeah you have. to believe that your intuition gets. honed as well because of you've had. experiences yeah but it can also we.

actually a really important point is. that neuroplasticity can be a bad thing. if you repeatedly go. for you know people that it ends up. being a toxic relationship and you have. a breakup that drags out and damages you. and then you don't really heal and you. just go back into a similar type of. relationship you're going to kind of. that's your intuition telling you theong. thing right right but you're following. it yeah so you could actually you could. mold your intuition negatively as well.

yeah oh wow like obsessing over breakup. that's that's neuroplasticity yeah yeah. I used to do that man that was the. worst God I would be so heartbroken the. most heartbroken freaking weirdo ever. dude smoking or whatever and just. walking around the. neighborhood um what else how do we. change our perspective how do we use is. our perspective our. brain so this is called the hard problem.

of Neuroscience and that is the question. of whether our brain is our mind or our. mind is our brain and. basically if you if we're being very. scientific then our Consciousness which. is everything that we think and feel. arises from neurons and chemicals that. are physically part of our. brain there's a big move more recently. and and this has happened in in the past. in ancient times we believed in sear and. shamans and Mystics and.

um you know things like Clairvoyance and. Clair cognizance and things like that. and we've we've moved away from that in. modern times yeah we believe in like the. a lot more astrology the Moon that sort. of thing as well yeah yeah but science. is now starting to look at some of this. ancient wisdom in a way that we may have. actually forgotten things that we knew. before that are crucial to our mental. health in the modern world m. um so I mentioned some of those things. already like drumming and chanting but.

what we believe now is that our brain. might actually be filtering our. Consciousness down so that we can. survive in this material world but. actually our minds are capable of a lot. more than than what we you know think. now so in terms of perspective that is. all the filters that your childhood and. your upbringing have put on how you see. the world and you can absolutely. challenge your perspective it's it's not. your brain it's it's a version of. reality that your brain's creating and I. have some really favorite exercises that.

I have um that people can do at home so. one is if I have a dilemma or. particularly if I'm really struggling. and just feeling like things aren't. going to work out I I describe myself. sitting here what I'm wearing at my age. and I ask the question like what should. I do or you know what's going to happen. to me like you know when you're really. kind of a bit desperate and then I get. up and I walk seven steps and I turn. around and I say I'm Tara seven years. older than you and I've seen what.

happens in your life in in the next. seven years and I I answer the question. I give advice so that's kind of like. oo that's pretty cool thanks cuz you're. kind of putting yourself in a place and. then you're you're using your same self. and my intuition and your intuition and. who even knows what what powers the. world grants to if. you say okay now I'm going to put myself. seven years ahead and speak back to. myself yeah I there's I it often feels.

like there's so many hidden abilities. that we have that we just don't know. about yet like even with like five. senses it's like I bet there's 30 senses. we just don't even know some of what. they are yet there's up to 33 is there. really dude they told us there's. five did you tell you that dude well not. at medical school at Medical School I. obviously knew there's more than five. but I didn't know there's like 22 to 33. they don't trust us with them dude I.

think yeah you got to I guess if you go. to school you get more senses you don't. get more you've got them as. well you've got cron acception you. understand the passing of time you've. got I got five but they give you five. senses yeah right touch feel um touch. and feel are the same okay sorry my bad. doc touch taste taste smell. sight hearing and hearing yeah sorry um. but there's more than that way more.

unreal. wow that'd be cool to go through all of. them one. day whenever I come to your country. we'll have to go through all of them. okay what country do you live in live in. London yeah it's not a London's not a. country it isn't no it's oh yeah told. you guys huh enough with the attitude. all right yeah Manchester is the real. England I'm joking well people think. different things. um wow so your perspective you can do. that exercise or you can ask yourself.

what advice would I give my brother. because it's just about taking yourself. one step out of the situation that. you're in because then you can't see the. wood for the trees you know yeah you're. stuck in you're stuck in yourself but. yeah what advice would I give my brother. that's a great idea what advice would I. give my sister what advice because it is. crazy you give them the best advice then. you get off the phone and do the worst. thing yeah yeah totally that's so. fascinating I mean because some of my. advice is like pinned on social media me. and my girlfriend were laughing so much.

about some of the things that I say and. then in my real life I'm like why is. this happening to. me I know it's so funny I think we all. take turns being something that someone. needs to hear you know even in the sense. that somebody came up to me in the. airport and was telling me something. like oh May where did you hear that like. you said that I'm like oh Jesus well I. needed to hear that right now it's like. we all kind of take turns even. throughout the day throughout the moment. throughout the years being each other's. Champions at certain little moments you.

know I think that that's pretty. remarkable that's kind of a gift um. you've talked a lot about like. manifesting and stuff do you really. believe in it 100% yeah I've been. actively doing it myself kind of. personally for 15 or 16 years and then. in 2019 my book The Source came out. where I shared that more professionally. and the response to that was actually. quite phenomenal in making me believe in. it even more wow it's a bestseller yeah. yeah congratulations thank you so cool.

thanks so cool to write a book and like. and have people want to absorb it yeah. tell me a little bit about that. manifesting because we forget about it. we forget sometimes that we're the. captain of the ship sometimes we just. feel like the stream owns everything you. know yeah and I think some versions of. manifestation can still make people feel. like that cuz it's about the universe. and vibrations I wanted to explain. manifestation through Psychology and. Neuroscience in a way to say look it's. your brain that's doing it it's not some.

outside force and I think that's way. more empowering um and and that's what. people really liked about it that I. write a lot about vision boards but I. call them action boards because I say. you can't just create a fantasy and then. sit at home and wait for it to come true. like look at how hard you've worked to. get to where you are it's very easy for. people to say oh I'd love to have Theo. Bon's life but you've really struggled. and worked really hard to get here um so. I absolutely say that that has to be. part of it it can't just be expecting.

like things to fall out of the sky and. come into your life right but if you. know manifestation is basically setting. goals and desires knowing what you want. finding images of them to put on a board. that you can see at least twice a day um. and if it's only once a day then seeing. it just before you go to sleep because. it imprints on your. subconscious and it can be very literal. or it can be metaphorical like something. that you know you could have a horse on. there and it could mean one thing to you. and something else to me for example um.

and basically I ask people to make this. board look at it daily visualize these. things being true because your brain. doesn't actually know the difference. between something happening in real life. and a strong. visualization and then wow yeah and you. won't be afraid of it if you've already. visualized it you won't kind of meet. that dream girl and and say oh maybe I'm. not ready you'll have you'll You' have. told your brain that you're ready to. take a healthy risk wow so your brain. doesn't really know the difference.

between say that again between something. that happened in real life or something. that you strongly. visualize wow it's the same reason why. when we watch a movie or something we're. able to get lost in it we're able to. believe in it because it wow so you. could create enough of a visualization. for yourself if you really were to. powerfully start to focus on it and do. that and build that ability to visualize. something that your brain at one point. would have to think it's so true that.

the world would meet you and put it into. your life I love the way you put that. wow dude that's crazy and it feels. that's what feels like another sense. that that to me feels like another sense. that like 200 years from now they're. going to be like people are just going. to be manif it's just everything you. know people be everything's going to be. so over manifested but you know what it. is that's one thing that feel like. there's like some Elite people in the. world and they really learned that when. I see some people who are operating at a.

very elite level or um the Deep state or. whatever I start thinking oh they that's. what they're using to the best of their. ability. wow yeah your brain and then the world. is like oh well it has to have happened. because they put it in there so much. that's. crazy and what kind of things can. manifest um of the examp because people. write to me all the time saying what. they manifested so it could be a certain.

kind of home a relationship a family. pregnancy um their own career a lot of. it's like quitting their job and and. actually starting up the business that. they've always wanted to do travel is. quite a big one yeah yeah what are some. side effects of the pandemic that we. never treated as a society cuz that's. fascinating to me to me it's so it's. just we kind of went through it and like. you said earlier we're just now we're. just here and we never looked at I mean.

even in recovery rooms like the shutdown. of all of the 12ep rooms and people. couldn't go to those meetings. killed there's no way it didn't kill. 100,000 people you know oh yeah at least. just in those yeah um I think there were. mental health issues during the pandemic. but there were slightly different ones. since and we nobody's really talking. about that which is so scary um I think. they involve three sorts of loss so a. loss of your sense of self and your.

purpose like who am I what direction. should I be going in totally a breakdown. of relationships whether that's. marriages other romantic relationships. working relationships friendships people. are more like disconnected and lonely um. when some people lost a loved one and. had to go to it over zoom and never even. got to grieve it or have the family be. there together when they lost their. grandmother there were people that were. hoping in the next couple years they. would find a love relationship and then.

suddenly there's three years where they. can't even date yeah and what was the. third one sorry I interrup the third one. was going to be loss of actual loved. ones you know and grief. um and I think one of the things I'm. seeing it may have been creeping up. before the pandemic but it feels very. evident now is the world feels like a. really difficult place for young men the. idea aidea of what it means to be a man. now doesn't feel clear and you know I've. sort of had male friends say to me.

that yeah we're equal but we're still. different and Men you know they want to. love and protect someone but it feels. like women are saying I can do. everything by myself now I don't need. you yeah um so that that feels really. sad and that's I think happening more in. the younger Generations than than it did. when we were that age yeah I think and. some people start to view themselves as. men and women I think some of the gender. lines and stuff are getting blurred like.

and and some of that I think is probably. good because you want everybody to. believe they can do anything you know. because there has to be some value in. being a man just like there has to be. some value in being a woman it's we want. there to be I don't want to be with some. woman and it's a man you know I would. like her to be a woman you know most of. the time and so it's like that's a thing. like can I put that slightly differently.

yeah I think it's about having masculine. and feminine energies which we can both. be capable of so I think for a man you. know men are obviously physically. stronger and so there are things that. men can do for women that could be. helpful in terms of the fact that. they've got more physical strength yeah. but equally men are capable of emotional. intelligence and intuition and it would. be nice if that could be more balanced. in in both the. genders yeah cuz I think in the end I. think it probably goes back to some of.

our nature too you know it's like I. think we want to have someone sometimes. it's like if you don't have somebody. you'll start turning into the thing you. want to which is kind of weird what do. you mean I feel like sometimes if you're. a maybe you're a gal and you're having. maybe trouble getting a guy or you're. not having success in that world you. might start kind of like. maybe doing more masculine stuff maybe. doing like you'll create what you.

need yeah I I guess you have to if you. have to get on in life you might have to. do things that you didn't do if you were. in Partnership yeah that doesn't make. any sense really my bad I didn't know. where you were going with that no I. didn't know either I was trying to like. think of an idea and I I thought you. were going to say something really. outrageous like oh no I don't I don't. know what I was going to say but I I I. just whatever I said didn't really make. any sense yeah it is tough I think it is. interesting for young men you know I. think it's interesting a lot for just. men these days you know but then also.

there was women like when women didn't. have access to a lot of money or they. didn't have money they were taken. advantage of and so it's like maybe this. is just the the Eddy of the river the. the path of it that we have to get to. get to a place where um you know women. have. more finances and ability to make. choices for their own and then once they. feel comfortable in that space then they. can uh let.

themselves just be women again does that. make any sense or I think it's a bit. more somebody's going to get upset about. that yeah I think it's a bit more. complex than that I think we could say. that both as men and women and. particularly as parents of the younger. Generations that are coming up now into. adulthood that we have a responsibility. to not emasculate men to the point that. they are taking their lives. because women have changed a lot if you. think since cave times or even just. since the 1950s women have had Financial.

Independence women have been able to use. contraception women have been able to. use hair diet it's completely changed. how particularly older women can survive. in society and be valued in. society but. men haven't really changed that much. let's say since the 1950s so there's. obviously some sort of evolution or. adaptation that needs to happen because. things were so unfair before but I just. think we've got to do it in a way that. isn't unfair now if you know what I mean.

like navigate it together in a way that. men and women can be in harmony um cuz. when the me too sort of conversations. first came out obviously there were a. lot of women that were saying you know. all the bad things about men that they. could and I just kept repeating the same. thing we have to remember most men are. good there's no value in US suddenly. hating men because this me too movement. has come up that's not going to help any. gender and that was a huge thing every. man men were scared to look at women men.

were scared to Pat a woman on the back. even it was definitely getting real. risque out there I think even things. like should I hold the door open for a. women or not is is a confusing decision. for men these days I agree I'll be on an. airplane and a woman will maybe be about. to lift her bag and put it up and it's. like I don't know am I gonna get the. lady who's like I can do it myself yeah. or am I just gonna get the lady who was. like thank you you know or just lets me. feel good because I can do it and I'm. able to help out not that she can't do.

it for a lot of guys it wasn't that you. can't do it no it was like we want to do. it yeah we want to be of service we want. to be able to show off a little bit give. us something we can do you know yeah and. and I I love it you know I think it's. yeah I used to have this joke this is a. long time I forgot about this it was. like um I was talking about women want. to be men now like you see women that. are like dead lifting weights and I'll. be like if you put down the barbells and. you look lost for a minute then a guy.

will show right up you know like there's. something about the thing that you just. you know you want to be able to be a guy. and I think when it gets confusing as to. what does that even mean where are you. allowed to be what are you allowed to do. um yeah you start and then also like all. the sex toys came out and you're like. well we can't even what are we doing you. know what I'm saying. like you know. like my nuts are powered by a battery.

powered by the Lord or whatever like I. can't compete with. these you know uh Ingenuity or whatever. people it's not the same as having an. intimate relationship no but it's also. threatening you know when it's like you. know you know you hear something in the. other room and it just sounds like it. should have a fan belt on it it's like. some of these it's like it's just int I. don't know I think that's kind of you. know I I know what I'm talking about but. I'm don't think we should end on this. note Theo I'm pretty lonely as well. what's something you feel like um before. you leave that you uh would like to.

share with us or something else we can. think about well the main thing I would. really love people to know which is an. umbrella over everything that we've. talked about today and like you've said. there's so much more we could talk about. is that you have so much potential in. your brain your brain is amazing and if. you know how to use it properly you can. make your life so much better than you. ever dreamed it could be really yes wow. how does somebody who doesn't believe.

that start to believe. it um I. would. make a set of tweaks in some very basic. fundamental areas and I would make them. micro tweaks so where I talk about sleep. diet hydration exercise and Stress. Management I always say change 10 Things. by One % not one thing by 10% so if you. went to bed half an hour earlier or you. drank an extra glass of water every day.

or you ate some more vegetables and you. you know walked a thousand steps more. than you usually do and spent some time. in nature and we haven't even talked. about neuro Aesthetics which is a whole. other topic oh gosh yeah then if you do. a few things like that every day they. physical things that are building the. foundation for your brain to be in a. good environment where it can be better. you will I guarantee you feel so much. better within a matter of weeks that. you'll think okay what else can I do. yeah and then you can build it up to a.

point where physically you're in in. really good condition and then you could. do a vision board or you know whatever. your goal is maybe for part two we could. ask people to write in and say this is. what I'd like to achieve how how could I. do it yeah that'd be cool yeah you know. what one thing you said it is it's so. easy to create a pattern it feels hard. the first day is a little tough the. second day is is a little bit tougher. but then that third day you're like holy. [ __ ] this is a pattern and it feels. different and it feels cool and then you.

get excited about it and there's nothing. bigger I've learned in my life T than. um get like realizing if you do. this and then you do that and then. you're like oh now the landscape looks. different now what else could I do what. else could I do yeah yeah you're a. classic example of that I just can't. sometimes I'm like what else can I do. what else like holy [ __ ] the world's. like I could do what else to what else. could I do yeah I don't know yeah but.

man it it really is especially yeah. there were times when I just didn't feel. like I could do you know and yeah but. also for you there are millions of. people that some of them you might know. about some you will never know about the. influence that you've had on them and. that's another thing that you're doing. passively by doing everything that you. do which is huge yeah yeah we don't know. the effect that we're going to have on. other people and stuff like that it's. pretty magical that's why we need each. other you know we need each other to. build our oxytocin up huh yeah dude we.

got to get more oxytocin going huh well. laughter creates it so you're you're. spreading oxytocin like crazy and is it. do we have synthetic oxytocin or they. don't have. that um I don't know if I even want to. get you to Google this but you can. actually purchase it over the internet. you obviously do not know what you are. getting so please be careful in lab. experiment. um they used a nasal spray of oxytocin. and they showed guys pictures of women. that they had to rate them on.

attractiveness before and after taking. the spray they rated them all as more. attractive after taking the spray wow. yeah yeah dude I looked up oxytocin and. nose spray was the top search so there's. an oxytocin nose spray don't get crazy. guys but maybe I'll take a hit of it. next time we do the uh next time we. record what you and I I'll take at least. a hit yeah I don't think you need to. that's quite insulting to me oh sorry. I'll let you take the hit then you're.

gonna need it that I'll tell you dude. yeah if you look at me you're going to. need some oxytocin man or we can give a. little to a pup or something yeah um and. see what he we could do that experiment. give some to a puppy and see what. happens oh hell yeah dude is that legal. uh I don't know I'm sure some people. write in the comments if it is or not um. Tara swart thank you so much your book. The Source I haven't read it uh but I. would like to okay you know so I'm going. to keep it on my list of stuff to read. at some point and yeah thank you for.

just being somebody that wants to help. share like the information that you have. and are learning like you're really on. the Forefront of things that are. possible for the future you know. Neuroscience is crazy you know because. we just don't know what our brain is. capable of do you what percentage of. information about our brains do you. think we currently know oh that's a. really good question it's hard to put a. percentage on it but if I think about. how much is changed since I was at. medical school and if if I align that. with the fact that what we used to watch. as science fiction as kids like a lot of.

it's true. now I just don't think we know how much. potential there is I think it's big you. know all I can say is it's bigger than. what we think we're not capable of. knowing that yet yeah yeah it's crazy. because we're not even capable of. knowing it yet that's the wildest thing. man is we're not even capable like again. you got to get there sometimes you got. to get that next place to then see what. else is even possible yeah and now with. AI and everything it's you know it's. just changed the whole who knows yeah I. mean we could both be yeah who even.

knows we could be living in an orphanage. right now or something or who knows AI. can do so many things you know so um Dr. Tara swart thank you so much for coming. uh yeah I look forward to catching up. with you too when I'm in your country. I'd love that yep and um your book The. Source are you still teaching an MIT. yeah M wow that's crazy dude that's like. really MIT dude you're like oh yeah that. was something I manifested that I never. thought really yeah and that's crazy cuz.

I don't even know where it is you hear. about it a lot you're like oh yeah. they're doing something illegal it feels. like but probably pretty good yeah um. thank you so much for coming and thank. you for my wonderful gift as well very. sweet of you love going to have a little. bit of this when I'm feeling a bit down. Mom good on you miss now I'm just FL on. the breeze and I feel I'm falling like. these leaves I must be.

Cornerstone oh but when I reach that. ground I'll share this piece of mind I. found I can feel it in my. bones it's going to.