Double Left Field | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #227

what's up you little rabid rodeo bears. now rabies now rabies not s an STD right. there that's one of those unsung non. heroes you know Raby everybody wants to. preach on you know these more popular. STDs syphilis and uh you know jock itch. I guess I mean that ji boy you get up.

you get a strong case of that ji-sun. that's I mean I had you growing up in. Louisiana you get that jock itch that's. the kind of you catch a strong strand. but your hands won't leave your nuts for. you know probably half of a moon cycle I. mean you you catch that strong ji boy. you don't even do you'll scratch your. wiener right off like a damn lottery. ticket you catch that I mean this they. have some strands of of jock itch down.

in Louisiana that old that should be on. the Discovery Channel you know so you. know that and if you don't know it then. well now you know that Kevin Hart was. hospitalized after his car careened off. an embankment the driver of the car was. found pinned in his seat under the crust. roof and so was the female passenger and. and we know somebody that's been. involved in embankments better than.

anybody I mean we're talking about the. Christopher Columbus of embankments and. and that's our man Billy conforto our IP. and right now we got a special moment. actually I'm gonna call his brother. Chuckie and get him on the line right. here and this is uh Chuckie Lowell what. up Chuck what's up I'm doing good man. how are you I'm doing okay man I was. just over in Biloxi at the casino over.

there doing um a show this past weekend. so you know I had my brother's house. Saturday we had a live fantasy football. draft. yesterday actually he come back and he. was like man I went that's hilarious. well next time when I come over to the. to Louisiana I'll get you over to one.

yeah be great man uh dude there's so. many fans that are that are fans of. Billy brah. yeah yeah so many people love him and um. you know and I just wanted to know like. a little bit more about him because you. know I met him we used to be was Busboys. together and uh and he was probably the. wildest dude I've ever met in my life. man you know I was I was talking to my. brother young she had seven kids in. eight years which a lot of people have a.

lot of kids Jesus that's like Drew Brees. type numbers bro she had a bond we have. a bunch of baby daddies yeah I was. telling my brother's house when I was.

texting you I think yesterday. my baby was like oh so like three. o'clock in the morning I was playing. cornhole and my baby's all mixed up here. but anyway we was talking it was like. this is like goes to the store and. ruling back and forth and Billy came. over one day got your bike he was wild.

man yeah he was one of a kind did he I. mean I don't yeah he and I were Busboys. well I guess he was a waiter at this. restaurant and then next thing I know. dude he was always he had us always on. like all kind of weed adventures he was. doing he was running weed he was always. getting his car fixed he even give you. salt on that a little bit together what. you know. with with the Weasley I'm a song look a.

capture I got it explode I forgot a. pardon from the governor which worked. out great dude I remember we was working. at the restaurant and then yeah dude I. remember I used to drive him across the. lake to get weed and we would come back. with so much weed brah. well the person he was coming to oh. there we go yeah well look nice too nice. to talk to you again man dude and y'all. had the craziest [ __ ] family people. was box and people was uh I mean people.

were that people were on pills. everything was going on yeah drugs they. taught family apart. you know it was Billy then three cousins. we took and you know your boys could box. I mean they were good they were gone. somewhere but that monkey got on they. couldn't get it off it was tough on you. know it's what do you do you know they. don't want to be that way talk to Billy. about it all the time like Billy would. get these are you getting these moves.

where you know he wouldn't see him for a. while and we all knew he was gone but. then he would show up get the camera out. he always had this Polaroid camera and. he would take a picture and he was like. I'm holding on to the picture and we're. gonna tell you no pictures right so then. we would go work out hard and he. wouldn't let you I couldn't skip you. couldn't cut a rep sorry he was.

that's how Billy was and even like I. heard one you cast about the steroids he. said that I had a flashback oh my god. Billy's the Buick that I remember like. he was doing to think like winch crossed. something crazy and yeah and I kind of. like man I'm playing football I want to. try that too so he's like it's gonna be. the routine and this is how we gonna eat. he was right at all crazy like a mad. scientist and he was like so he would. tell you we gotta take it a half hour. before we work out and when you said. that I remember distinctly one time.

being in the car a half hour before the. gym pull over I'm like wait listen wait. oh let's go to the apartment or. something. your apartment is around the corner from. the gym no we gotta stop. now in doing we actually was sure it's. not that happened then we did it over. off of the interstate over but between. Slidell and uh the exit bought a movie. theater brought we would duck off of it.

in [ __ ] pipe him down boy. and I hate to cut that call short right. there but you can listen to the entire. call on our second YouTube channel Theo. von Clips so you can check that channel. out and it's got a lot of unique stuff. on it and it will have the entire. conversation with Chuck Billy's brother. Wow just fascinating man and that yeah. and I talked to him for nearly an hour. so you guys can enjoy that there but. yeah being able to chat with the just I.

mean I'm real I mean just that human. Fiasco that uh that Billy conforto was. getting to talk to his brother man. pretty sweet. let's get into this episode how about. that. [Music].

I'm just sitting on your front porch. wondering how could I be so far from. mine and my mind is somewhere else but. when I found it. [Music].

[Music]. little time for me to snap that pocket. break I said and tell you my story.

[Music]. I know me and I will find a song singing. [Music]. and as you know it is Bishop Gunn shine. taking us in right there bringing us.

into the world I wonder if when you're. born like you could hear I wish they had. a little bit of that womb music you know. I wonder if maybe when you're born they. should play certain music and it not you. know it might help you come into the. world a little bit better or different. you know it would be like you know like. you know like that song Sanyal it might.

be you know just a real natural kind of. Christian birth right there you could. have some rap music if you want if that. baby was just kind of you don't even. know if you're gonna you know if you're. that excited about the baby. you know or if you kind of just hooked. up with a man and you don't even know. that man maybe they have that song below. but I had asked too fast polo but I had. asked too fast and they could play that. in the delivery room so at least a baby.

when he comes into the world he kind of. knows how he got out there you know all. right you know he might not have it. immediately his backstory might be the. embedded into his tissue by the music. because music hides in our bodies boy. isn't that fascinating. music hides in our bodies I mean I'm you. if you you know if you [ __ ] carve me. open with uh what a carve opener or.

whatever you um I'll probably have a. little bit of top 40 in me you. definitely gonna find some Goo Goo Dolls. down there by my ass you feel me you're. gonna hear you know because music it one. time a guy you know hit punched me. really hard right in the jaw and. immediately I started hearing that song. in the end the only thing that matters. you know that Linkin Park that dude just. punch us and that song so you know that.

was hidden in my jar something let's do. [ __ ] crack me and next thing you know. I'm Linkin Park and boy and that dude. parallel parked my ass onto the ground. and my brain just you know I got Lincoln. parked up because music hides Enya. somebody might hit you with a damn you. know if somebody you know might hit you. with a damn uh like a beater stick like. a stick used for for beating others they. hit you with that [ __ ] in the back and.

next thing you know you start I keep a. close watch on this heart of mine. they'll beat the [ __ ] Johnny Cash. right out of you that's the thing that. music could really hide in our bodies so. if when a baby was born they put a. little bit of music on that maybe really. you put that you know some some just. some music like one of them Jamaican. guys like kind of a weed you know um I'm.

not thinking of Bobby Marley. Bobby Marley you know no woman no cry. they get that in you and it really. affect your system positively I think. over time. shout out to everybody and support to. everybody over there dealing with the. hurricane and it's that time of year you. know Mother Nature has got a recipe book. out because because you got that summer. is kind of settling down you got the.

rain the rain is coming in winter and. Mother Nature's just kind of flipping. through the pages okay what we got okay. we got a scattered storm over there you. know we're gonna make a entree out here. in the on the coast we're gonna mix up a. batch of durian send that [ __ ] up to. feed a couple of a couple hundred. thousand with some water that's what you. know it's just that time of year when.

Mother Nature really has a recipe book. out. and can you know when she's brewing up. things she's making a batch of something. nasty it's that time of year winter is. coming. newbie that's the crit you can't winner. nothing do my brother I remember at all. when we were young when we were children. we used to wait for the bus and do. getting out there and a bus in a winter.

time you know it would be like two days. a year it would freeze in Louisiana and. people were crazy even who hit freeze. people just duct-tape a blanket around. their kid and [ __ ] sent him to school. just you see you see people walking. around school just look like tall just. stacks a blanket you have to open up the. top and see who it was. oh who is this oh that's a little. Randall right there you know oh look you. you have to unfold the blanket at the. top like oh that's Bridget and Bridget.

all [ __ ] duct-tape kids looking all. kidnapped kind of but warm and you would. just get so you know you get out there. by the bus stop and breathe in the air. and just make them ghosts you know me. and you can see your air you can see. your breath living you know just forming. outside of you beautiful just be uh. and we would do I remember if my hands.

you know my brother my brother one time. sometime would have gas you know body. gas you know you know what I'm talking. about body gas man farms and he would. give you a set of air mittens dude if. your hands was real cold he'd have he'd. say hey put him put him over by my butt. and he'd hit you with them warm he'd hit. you with that a dose of that warm body. air and give you those just so his hand. mittens bro just lace you out with a set.

of air mittens right there keep your. hands warm for about 15 18 second and. that's teamwork too man it really is. teamwork. you know cuz it's that's the thing about. being in a winter place it brings people. together you get that togetherness you. have you got a snuggle you know the. plants are dying so you got to take care. of each other you know people's lives.

become more pertinent when you got the. winter going on you got to be careful. you can't step certain places because. you'll slip you'll die because of the. ice so you have to be real careful and I. think that things seem a little more. precious in the wintertime human life. does because it's at a little bit more. of a rarity it's not as abundant as it. is but yet everybody who's bracing for.

Dorian and dealing with it good luck to. you stay strong out there dude and I say. get out there and be a hero get out. there and be a damn hero we had a boy in. our town what is dude a little Chico. they called him and he was black I guess. he was he was like a young black. gentleman or he might have been just. kind of dark Mexican you know kind of. like you know like you know dark Mexican.

and he would get out there and he if a. storm was coming he'd get out there with. a sore breath this dude he was fearless. he'd be out there battling the wind cuz. you know in Louisiana they get them. gusts and a gust I'll hit you at 40. miles an hour and [ __ ] tickle your. ass real hard like a pervy uncle bruh a. strong wind gust he'll [ __ ] just make. it get you get all your tenderness and.

and he would look chico be out there. with a [ __ ] sword bruh and he was. real real he was real light his bones. probably if you were holding all of his. bones in your hands you if you weren't. you might not even know if you what you. might not even know you were holding. that's how light he was he was just you. know he didn't have a lot of uh calcium. in him and his daddy was real light his. dad would I remember one time fell off. the roof and just. kind of went side-to-side and then just.

kind of landed on the stomach real. softly so it's just the family not real. they had low calcium and that's that's. you know it's uh I don't know if it's a. birth defect or what it is but it's God. it's God doing what he likes but look. Chico brah oh this dude also the. craziest thing about him. he always he would look for Easter eggs. year-round so he was that kind of dude.

he look you you know you know you be. outside he'd be always looking for. Easter eggs and I think he didn't really. get the whole concept of an Easter egg. hunt he thought it was you know I don't. know I guess one of them he went to the. first one he ever went to and he just. thought that life had changed and now he. could always look for him but I remember. he come over for dinner sometime and. he'd [ __ ] spend half that half the. meal looking for eggs but I round the. house and [ __ ] like damn little chick oh.

boy get you a little dark Latino ass. back here dude we trying to [ __ ]. finish off these potatoes boy are we and. getting any cookies little buddy but he. really loved Easter eggs man he would. always and then he got depressed really. I remember a little bit as we got older. because he didn't find you know it was. so rare that you found eggs and so he. you know when you're constantly looking. for something you don't get it sometime. it can really lead to some depression. but but that's life what else is going.

on I've been in training in Atlanta for. a week training we did training for. movie training and working with it was. like working with um you had assault. rifles ar-15 and you had Navy SEAL. trainers training people how to interact. with the weaponry how to use the. weaponry how to maneuver and move as a. group really next level type of stuff I.

think just handling that piece because. you I want to get out there and [ __ ]. Clint Eastwood you know I hold an ar-15. to the side and just. but it's very organized and very and we. got to shoot blanks I get to shoot. blanks which was film blanks and so they. make a louder flash than regular bullets. do and they make a louder sound but they.

don't have any projectile so that was. kind of interesting to see and we. learned also though that that the the. blanks even if you had like a water. bottle the man showed us and you shot it. from about six feet away it would. obliterate it so even the blanks the air. blast that comes out of the weaponry is. extremely severe so you have to be. cognizant of that you can't just be you. know shooting blanks at people because.

people will believe to death but uh what. else did we do um you know it was just. like you get there and there's the. script as the table read and everybody's. you know it was just a lot it was a lot. in one week and just kind of seeing. what's going on with it and and getting. to meet Christopher Pratt we'd never met. very nice man the director everybody. they are beautiful people let's uh but I.

was there for a week and then I went to. Biloxi and a call actually came in from. Biloxi and I'll hit that one right here. um here we go. yo John I'm at grief from Spanish fort. Alabama what's up John and Spanish fort. and I got a stepsister that lives over. here in Spanish fort over there and. they're doing well les she gots two. children one of them's a ginger real. tall tall ganger home word just calling.

to let you know man you did the damn. thing in Biloxi last night ten my wife. and I are still laughing and talking. about the show man we had a [ __ ]. glass everything he said was [ __ ]. hilarious and on point at all time the. show was great the opening act was. [ __ ] amazing everything was perfect. man so when. except for the knucklehead ladies. sitting behind me but you called her out.

on that [ __ ] with her loud ass gang. gang there you go thanks for calling man. yeah that was fun in Biloxi that lady I. did call her out there that was good too. she said oh you should have a Mexican. kid I remember she yelled and I was like. well if I want to have a loud kid I'll. come talk to you that's what I said. so we really put her in the Silence. booth didn't we. yeah man Biloxi's crazy you down there. on the Gulf Coast you dude they got.

everything they got fish swimming. through the air down there. they got trout they got this they got. carp. you know they got carpenter you'll see. carpenters but it's just for fish. [ __ ] doing some drywall I mean they. got real fish everywhere it's real just. fish dick ulis down there but thank you. guys for coming out it was a lot of fun. man it was fun so many people came you. know and just to be down there on the. Gulf Coast and you can't even get any.

cocaine down there cuz it's wet. everything's wet down here you find an. oyster in a damn cocaine you'll do half. a line and [ __ ] next thing you know. you got a pearl you know you just you. got a you know you got a pearl that you. found so it's it's a different place man. but it was yeah it was a joy bro it was. a real real joy of a tear and people. came out what else happened man I was. gonna tell you guys about something that. happened um something that that I was.

thinking about Oh. Louisiana won the Little League World. Series that's what I was thinking about. I want to say congratulations to em boys. Southwest baby that team and they took. they be Curacao. they beat Hawaii and what I'm saying is. they beat everybody son a bunch of. little freaking uh low Gator tales from. over there in Louisiana man from River. Ridge from over there outside of New. Orleans they really got it done so.

congratulations to them little boys and. dude I remember bro being in a little. league I. so [ __ ] bad at baseball you know I. was bad I was bad at baseball dude they. put me in left field and then at one. point they put me in double left field. brah I wasn't even on the field I was. like you know if you go to left field. there's a line right there where that's. out of bounds and they put me over there. one time so at that point you're only.

like an assistant coach really and I. remember dude I remember one time he put. me so far out there I was body's woods I. was about probably 11 or 12 feet deep. into some woods and I could barely even. hear the game so that's you know and I. remember they had a couple mushrooms out. there and I remember eating a couple of. those [ __ ] boy and look you playing.

baseball and you have a couple mushrooms. bruh the whole world becomes the. outfield they die. I don't know what game I was playing did. I wa I was playing Connect four inside. of my brain bruh I was trying to. rearrange my toes I was trying to put. him in a more I was looking at my feet I. remember thinking if I could put my toes. in a more effective order and that was. just so you got to be careful sometimes.

with those games you know these kids. some of the kids they didn't and my. favorite thing was getting the snow cone. at the end after the game you know. you're a shitty baseball player when. your favorite part of the sport is. getting that snack after that's that you. know that's when I remember the coach. sometimes he was a hate deal go sit in. my truck. make sure it's cooling off that's what. he would say because he'd keep the AC. running in there and I'd sit in there. for 20 minutes while the other kids were.

practicing and just [ __ ] I must have. been horrible god I must've been. horrible at this [ __ ]. dang so bear grylls you all know him and. the funny thing is his name Bear Grylls. but never once have I seen him eating. any Kodiak Boy brown. back grizzly polar bear I haven't seen. him grill up one slice of bear Brook you.

can't have a name and not do it okay. what if your name was wizard daddy and. you don't do any spells bruh then that's. really not really neat is it then you're. not living up to your name or what if. your name is blind Simon but when people. say Simon you don't even react and you. can see really well then you're not who. you say you are bear grylls first of all. grill up a little bit bit of bear I'd.

like to see you carve up a [ __ ] cut a. cub baby okay and gum that [ __ ] down you. don't see how strong you would be so. bear grylls don't even grill bear but he. got stung by a bee and had to be rushed. out by paramedics and I'll say this man. if you don't think that bees are the. Doberman Pinschers of the devil bees are. Satan's little German shepherds.

think about it be think about a bee man. they they come around bruh and they [ __ ]. you up. think about that imagine if somebody ran. over by you you're hanging out at the. park you having a little cut of ham or. something you know you may be having a. couple gangers snaps or whatever doing. something natural you have an eliminate. rub but you cut it down with water a.

little because it's too sugar and. somebody runs up bra a little dude huh. runs up pulls out a [ __ ] knife. [ __ ] pokes you like that and then he. dies that's a bee that's a bee man. that's what a bee do bees do that kind. of [ __ ] bro Abbey would kill you if it.

could the problem is God don't give a be. a strong enough sword just a [ __ ]. hurt you but bear if you can't handle a. bee sting dude I remember getting stung. by a bee bro and both of my [ __ ]. eyelids boy at the park one time during. summer camp and I still had to go to. camp my mom didn't give a damn you can't. see do well you know God wants you to. relax on the inside a little bit and. calm down you know you just darkened out. but you still have to go to summer camp.

I'm gonna give it down I wanna put some. calamine lotion on my [ __ ] forehead. she even put it on my eyes I remember. made me go made me drink a whole bunch. of water [ __ ] was horrible boy but. different times man but Bear Grylls boy. you can't handle a bee sting that's. crazy. what's going on man everything let's get. another call that came in here the. hotline nine eight five six six four.

nine five zero three and first also. let's say this man that this episode is. brought to you by better help better. help will assess your needs and match. you with your own licensed professional. therapist you know I've been seeing a. therapist for a while I had been and. recently I stopped seeing them seeing. her as a woman you know and now I'm. gonna go back I just decided yesterday I. needed to go back to seeing a therapist.

better help will assess your needs and. match you with your own licensed. professional therapist you can start. communicating in under 24 hours it's not. a crisis line it's not self-help but it. is professional counseling done securely. online sometimes you don't want to go to. a therapist and tan you don't want to. walk you know you don't want to be seen. walking into a therapists office but we. need help sometimes we need help and I. want to talk about that in a second why. I feel like young men now need more help.

or are appearing to need more help but. better help you can log in your account. anytime and send a message to your. counselor there's a broad range of. expertise and better helps counselor. network it's more affordable than. traditional offline counts. and financial aid is available better. help wants you to start living a happier. life today and I do believe that if you. can find ways to get out of your head. the maze that is in your head or to.

maybe make the walls of that maze not as. high that you can live a more. comfortable life because I found that to. be true for myself. you can visit better help.com theö th e. oh that's better. h ELP and join the over 500,000 people. talk taking charge of their mental. health with help of an experienced. professional there's a special offer for. this past weekend listeners get 10% off. your first month at better help calm /. Theo and you can find a therapist or.

counselor that you can you can speak. with them on the phone you can FaceTime. you can FaceTime on the computer Skype. you can text with them you just people. you can communicate with that can. sometimes help us think outside of. ourselves because sometimes we can't. handle it ourselves better help calm /. Theo 10% off your first month you know I. was in I was actually I was working out.

this morning and I got a trainer got a. trainer you know I'm just because I. struggle I know sometimes with the. motivation so if I can help cure that. part then I can be more effective and. actually you know breaking breaking a. sweat and doing that kind of stuff it's. it's a good use of my time because it. makes it takes me out of my brain and. this morning I was thinking man I was. having to do these like sled pushes and.

stuff and and I was like man sometimes. when I kept thinking like how this is. hard it was hard but then at one point I. was like well I'm gonna quit thinking. with my brain and just think with my. body you know why don't I just let my. body take control of the moment instead. of sitting there thinking this is hard. but I'm gonna just use my legs and see. how hard it really is and once I did. that I started feeling I was like oh. this isn't as hard as I thought it was.

and it made me think of a lot of times. like when I you know I used to lay in. bed a lot and just start my brain would. just run and start thinking negative. right when I wake up my brain just man. you got this. this thing is deal hanging over your. head and this and you know maybe here's. a lie that you told and you haven't. really straightened it out yet and that. comes back the land I'm on my shoulder. like a bird every morning and and then. this problem you know you got this you. know you know you got this business.

thing you got to take care of and you. need to respond on all these little. birds land on my shoulders right when I. wake up and it's all and it's negative. chirping but that's just if I lay there. and listen to my brain but if I get. moving and get my feet going and get. into my body then I find oh well. obviously I'm getting things done my. brains not able to just talk to me. because I'm actually taking control I'm. doing something and then I was thinking. man maybe one of the reasons why a lot.

of young men in my generation and the. generation after me are struggling with. mental health or just you know more. caught up in our feelings and our. emotions and [ __ ] is because we don't. use our bodies as much as we used to. like our fathers are you know and our. grandfathers they had to a lot of them. worked more labor jobs you know a lot of. them there wasn't everything wasn't. automated they had to move more they had.

to do more things so they were more in. their body they were taking action. physical action whereas now it's like a. lot of us aren't a lot of those jobs. don't exist things are more automated so. we get more in our brain you know and I. think our brains just aren't used to. being able to just be so sedentary and. when the brain gets sedentary you know. one just sits around and it's not you.

know it's when it's when your body's. moving your brain has to kind of like. control just function of what's going on. but when or when my body is moving when. my body is still my brain just starts to. just swirl you know it just starts to do. pontificate and consider and worry but. if I keep my body moving my brains like. okay I got to pay attention to what's. going on cuz I have to make sure the. body is okay you know I can't bump into. things or run into a you know a saw or.

something or you know get hit by you. know something do it you know catch some. electricity or something. so so what I'm saying is like I noticed. that when I was pushing on this sled at. the gym when I when I was in my brain I. was like [ __ ] this is hard man down but. if I could do this and how much longer. do I have but when I quit that and just. started moving my body I couldn't think. about the worry I just could you know I.

just got it done and I think that's. where we are as a generation and so. there's a lot more young men who just. this is the first and second generations. of us not using our bodies as much you. know not as many people work in labor. jobs not as many people so you're having. more of a sedentary lifestyle where your. brain starts moving and and I think that. that's why we're having just because. we're more caught in our brains and. we're having more mental health issues.

because we're using our brains all the. time but but we're not using them in. conjunction with our body at the same. time so there's just a thought that I. had it was something that really kind of. resonated with me like wow like no. wonder you know we don't we're not. moving as much if we move less than yeah. we're gonna have more mental health. problems because we're just stagnant and. so made me think about you know kind of. some of the stuff that you know like wow. if I get moving my brain doesn't have a.

chance to just sit there and spin so. let's take another call that came in. here nine eight five six six four nine. five zero three is the hotline and if. you hit that sucker be much obliged also. we got the new mercs lineup you can. check it out. and I think the link will be below in. the YouTube homework hey Theo my name is.

Hanna. I was calling regards called you got. last week about a guy with sweaty hands. Oh Thank You Hannah I appreciate that. call yeah that fella was real dripped. out up in the midst you know he really. he got those uh he's got he's kind of. got his guerrillas in them in the mitts. you know he's got them you know he's got. that he's dampened out because I hand. really I mean there's so much moisture. in our bodies it's really amazing that. more of it just doesn't pass right. through our hand you got water blood.

plasma it's amazing it'll shake. somebody's hand and they have a little. bit of plasma on their hands sometimes. let's hear more and this is actually how. you've probably heard of it it's a. medical issue called hyperhidrosis and I. had it in my armpit so just not you at. all it could be something like that you. heard though you couldn't get Botox in. your hands I got Botox of my arms if my.

answers actually covered it is provided. like proof night you so you can get that. boat touching Botox in your hands for. handshake and I guess if he's slipping. out you get that hello tox broke as you. shake somebody saying you say hello and. then but just dry it up if you got that. because that's I mean that just seems. extensive and how many injections you. have to get to get a whole shake covered. because if you know or I guess you just. really need to get the middle but yeah.

you want that dry grip often think if. you're doing handshakes that's the. biggest concern is hitting somebody with. that [ __ ] wet hello right out the. gate you're just hitting them with that. damn with this you know you put up a. just that slick snake boy that's [ __ ]. that palem and ER you know you making. pals with somebody and then that thing's. all slippery that arm that hand and. that's something that's really probably. but that's called hyperhidrosis okay so.

you're saying that he could get. injections Botox in his hands and you've. had it in your armpits and that's kind. of sexy a little bit if you're making. love to somebody and you just start real. just just really just almost just kind. of just really just getting all Niagra. on your ribs kind of it's almost a. little bit sexy let's hear more. dermatologist or something they have to. assess like need and you have to say. that you like tried a bunch of [ __ ] so. it's six months nowhere I haven't been.

fighting anywhere company aren't it so. yeah I had a friend that had the same. this year arson on a horrible she would. write essays and just smear the ink all. over the place where essays couldn't be. grated so she's got Botox on her hands. and she's all good now and there you go. if you don't want to do good school work. just [ __ ] tell them you got that drip. get you a little thing of Visine and. just put some on your hands show to. teacher say look these answers are bad. but it's because I'm [ __ ] leaked out.

you know daddy's got that I got those uh. I got those little Oasis's right here. well what do they call mirages or. something fake little rivers or. something. here's another call that came in for the. drippy mitts for some advice for the. beautiful young fella and him and his. daddy got that genetic drip gang gang. homework API Kevin from Los Angeles. what's up Kevin from Los Angeles thank. you for calling man and and I'm in Los.

Angeles right now brother so let's hear. more part of the call really quickly to. help out a guest I called you he had an. issue with some leaky myths right I had. that problem for like 27 years. damn so you really one of the. forefathers of those [ __ ] of those. those arm faucets homeward just terrible. you don't want to. networking events don't want to shake.

anyone Pam well now the fist bump has. really saved you guys then because a lot. of people had issues with the fist bump. when it came out saying it was violent. so I was promoting violence it was a. black power thing that you know just. people felt it was egregious but anyway. enough of what I'm thinking. onward thank you Kevin no yeah I could. imagine that would but now if he's gonna. do a little masturbation then that's.

gotta be helpful homework what I did is. I looked up there's a thing called Ione. tuck derma and I think the ion is like. ions for electricity it's this weird. thing you put your hands in a little bit. of water and I don't know what it does. like electrocutes. something in your hand you know and I. turned off the sweat glands or something. like that and you literally solved my. problems within like you know two.

treatments and now I do it like once. every two weeks hands and feet and it's. dry and it's life changing dude so. hopefully your guests can hear this and. it can help them out because it's. definitely helped me out guy own took. derma and hopefully that changes his. life hi man take care I know it's a. derma and yeah we'll put this in it. together in a package and put this on. the clips channel as well you'll be able. to see that if you got yeah if you.

dripping up those paws if you got those. porous pause and then this could be some. solution well those are two great. suggestions thank you guys both a. hyperhidrosis and the Ione subdermal and. you put your hands in some electric. water and that tight and just [ __ ] up. doing because that's crazy can you play. basketball you're getting the ball all. wet you know you can't even uh I guess. it's nice if you're fixing your hair and. you wish you had a little bit of gel but. you don't cuz a lot of times I wish I. had a little moisture on my hand to.

tighten up my wig and then BAM so I. guess there's things that help and. things that don't but also dude I gotta. say this I got the worst haircut of my. life in Biloxi. Mississippi and maybe I shouldn't have. got my hair cut at a casino that's the. truth. but damn do that [ __ ] just broke my. heart man. this lady and I think she shouldn't have. been cutting hair dude she I swear brush. she had a pair of damn school scissors. in there and I knew right when I sat.

down she goes oh I'm really one of the. best hair cutters and I said like this. ain't gonna be real well and I told her. just a little and then she went wild. like she was doing gardening but I. wouldn't let this lady cut dude she. couldn't if she was trying to cut her. own wrists I bet she couldn't this lady. and I hate to get upset man but there's. nothing that mate that makes it tougher. for me then if somebody [ __ ] my hair up.

my haircuts already [ __ ] up so I'm not. letting people cut my hair anymore you. know I'm not doing that [ __ ] man that. lady and I knew it at one point. at one point I said please stop and I. sat there boy and I knew it and all I. could see was how horrible I was gonna. look for the next five weeks just. knowing that this that this is how. things had occurred and that [ __ ] chewed. me bruh and she just the back is she.

made it all thin and [ __ ] and and I. don't know man and I and then here's the. worst she didn't even tidy up around my. neck you know you get all that. straggling [ __ ] on the back of your neck. looked like a newborn animal a little. bit you get that that fuzz and stuff in. your ears. she didn't even tighten any of it up. dude but what I that's what I like I. sometimes I just man why'd I get my hair.

cut at a casino man just pissing me off. do some of the choices I make I should. have known that [ __ ] man do-right night. there was selling candy and [ __ ] and. they got dude 60 feet away they got. everybody's on a gay got one of their. hitting that air tank and people dude. how many able but able bodied people are. on these scooters and [ __ ] Atticus. no I saw a whole school like a school of.

fish go by like 30 people all of them. look fine physically and now out here. just just in a v-formation i said dang. boy come on somebody with a bow and. arrow start popping these [ __ ] off. [Music]. but yeah man that's where you see this. kind of stuff do people just get up and. go dude the old days somebody had one.

leg while you see them hopping to their. gate at the airport you see them yeah. yeah yeah okay. do you need some help yeah hey let me. get on your back for a second people. helping each other out now everybody's. in the wheelchair you'll see fine just. that's how they do it now it's just. different you know you got the big. family everybody's sharing a gas tank I.

think a gas or something or air oxygen. at the Ksenia on these scooter I'm. telling you man. put these [ __ ] out in left. field I'm feisty today. I'll be okay everybody's okay man you. know it's just we got to get back in our. physical bodies we got to stay active. because it keep our brain from running. overtime keeping our brain from running.

over time what else man here's a. question that came in from patreon this. from Dalton Windham how has it been. getting away from Los Angeles for a. while do you think staying away for. several weeks will push you to relocate. like you've mentioned before gang gang. you know what's funny man I think even. just having been in Atlanta for the past. week I start to get an idea of okay this.

is what life would be like if I live. somewhere else you know there was some. good things you know Atlanta. is Atlanta's cool man is so spread out. it actually reminds me of Los Angeles a. lot a lot of places the food services. River the places I ate out was not good. you wait forever to eat at a certain. point I thought I'd just take up hunting. I said man am I to go to the damn hunt. if this is how long it's gonna take to.

get a damn burger but also it could be. I'm coming from Los Angeles where you. know you get used to thing being quicker. and fastness things have more fast and. sent them out here oh I thought of this. too if you got the drippy mitts dude. have my brother serve you a set of them. [ __ ] air mittens baby have somebody. you know throw a little uh but a little. burst on the little body gas on your. hands boy dry them cats right up but.

what else do I think is I mean get away. from Austin for a while oh I definitely. think that the pace out here is not a. pace that's the same in the rest of. America it's just different you know the. rest of America feels a little bit more. like everything is more at home and more. laid-back and then you get into some. city environments and it feels like. you're just used to things being quicker. so I think I need to it shows me that my.

level of patience has gotten accelerated. so I need a lesson now I need to take a. little bit of a psi out of my ability to. be patient let's take another call that. came in right here nine eight five six. six four nine five zero three see oh man. I'm working down in San Diego as a. machinist again look oh nice man that. gunsmith did I'll tell you it is so you.

know this week we were working with. these pistols these AR guns ar-15s and. they're really fancified for the movies. they teach it they make all put on extra. scopes and they make them real you know. cinematic and and and one other thing I. noticed was. Oh so uh what am I thinking about he. said he's machinist he's gone Smith.

who's gunsmith do I know that I'm sorry. I'm an amine oh here's one thing I. realized about police officers police. officers you know get a ton of bad press. I mean the press is basically it will. raise hell about anything just to get. clicks they don't really care anymore. it's not news it's just how can we start.

fire today how can we start Hell today. how can we say anything is basically. someone just yelling it's almost like. schizophrenia has a bunch of large. companies a lot of these news stations. I'm not kidding watch CNN anymore rough. you up a few it's not even a [ __ ]. television it's a I just I don't know. man I just don't know what's going on. with that [ __ ] but I'll say this here. that when I remember when I was um when.

I was working on the on road rules show. we went one time to Georgia went to. North Georgia and they had a it was how. to be a police officer when two police. officer training and one of the things. you did you went into a simulator. simulator you know something that makes. something that's not that and we went in. there and the simulator was you had you. were an officer and you had a sidearm. and you were in this room and that was.

the and the simulator was against the. wall there was a big screen and the. screen would play different scenarios. and like you would be like an officer. that caught got called to go to a an. alley where people were something was. happening there's stuff going on at this. alley you know as a domestic disturbance. or something and so on the screen it. would look like an alley it would look. like behind a building and there's. people out there and somebody's you know. standing there with their girlfriends. somebody's you know leaning on the.

dumpster smoking a cigarette it looked. like an alley and. in this simulator you could talk to the. screen and it was all like the computers. and stuff made it so it would talk back. they would communicate back so you could. talk to somebody who was in the scene. that you were watching so you say hey. you know what are you doing out here and. the guy would talk back to you and and. you would kind of go through these. different kind of checkpoints that a. police officer has to go through now. sometimes during the simulation they had.

different settings on the simulation. where sometimes one of the people in the. scene would pull out a weapon and just. start shooting at you and when that. happened inside of the room you are in. they had these fake they had these like. guns in the wall that would shoot these. rubber pellets at you or shoot these. plastic pellets at you so if something. happened on the screen on the simulator. it would then and somebody shot at you. it would happen in then real pellets.

would shoot out of the wall out of the. corners out of these kind of like. paintball gun type of things and. actually hit you but sometimes the guy. on the screen would just it would look. like he was just he would retain in his. pocket to show you his identification. and it was just real interesting because. I remember thinking man I would engage. in different scenarios like sometime. you're in a classroom sometimes you're. there's you know you're pulling people. over at anti-vehicle and it really blew.

my mind how well one time a guy could be. reaching just to get to his. identification or to just scratch his. leg and another time a guy could reach. to pull up weapon on you and it blew my. mind my inability to be able to. calculate those in real time because. they they'd have the same scenario you. know you it would be like an officer. response you know and use you know. there's five people in an alley and it. turns out all they were doing was. gamblin or they were looking for.

something somebody thrown something away. in a dumpster now they're all planning. on looking for it and and the scenario. could play out like a thirty different. ways and the computer would have it set. up like that but when you when you. engage with them like you didn't really. know every time it you had no idea how. it was going to play out. and so you know it was just and so. sometimes you get shot and sometimes you. it would be just nothing it would just. be oh you know there's a cat somebody's. looking for their cat and that's what.

you're trying to help with but you never. knew and and just the way it changed. sometimes so quick you know you'd be in. a like you had to respond to a classroom. and one of the scenarios they had his. guy had his head on the desk and you're. talking to a student in the front of the. class who had been an up in an argument. with another student or something and. then somebody the guy in the back just. sits up one time and gets his bookbag to. leave the room but in another version of. that same scenario the guy gets up and.

and pulls out a weapon and just to be. able to like know the difference or be. able to like in the Manute seconds that. you're standing there to watch on the. screen and be able to know okay what's. gonna happen right now. that [ __ ] was baffling man it was so. hard to be able to know to be able to. have reflexes that made sense or to be. able to be it was impossible sometimes. it was impossible.

you think a guy was a guy was just a. full opening a newspaper and next thing. you know you pull and you shoot on him. and another time a guy's it looks like. he's opening newspaper he pulls a gun. out and starts shooting at you but to. know it just blew my mind man anyway. when you when you said about guns made. me think about that about that. experience I had a long time ago. and I thought about this past week when. I was uh handling the weaponry out there. and handling a different violent you. know utensils in this and net homework.

that's doing pretty well um I had a. falling out with my boss who you got let. go which wasn't too bad. I felt pretty down at first because I. just gotten arrested for a DUI and. that's just about how I was gonna pay. for that and everything and my wonderful. girlfriend helped find me a new. machinists and gunsmith job and I was. you know really looking out feeling good. about it you know I'm and I really meant. stuff I had a little incident at work. and I got scared.

I had you know mess something up. I try to hide it I lied about it oh man. I'm sorry to hear that man I've done. that before you know I'm supposed to. just be doing washing tools one time and. I took this tool truck for a ride and I. tried to jump a ditch with it and. [ __ ] [ __ ] man I [ __ ] everything up. Jesus Christ. let's hear more at first and you know I. came clean right afters I didn't want. you know doesn't matter didn't want none.

of that and I don't blame them I should. know how about it and it just really. sucks because you know now I don't know. what I'm gonna do I embarrass my. girlfriend home to get the job one of my. buddies who you know he's his reference. and I understand and I just made a fool. of myself and I feel really bad and just. today I crushed my hand man didn't feel. too good I had to go get some stitches. right after leaving the hospital I. [ __ ] reared in some lady on the. hospital now so my main question is I.

can't really seem to keep my head on. straight like I was missing I just keep. messing up I don't know if anybody has. some advice out there. much appreciated game game you know just. man I love you all right bye love you. too bro I love you too man I'm sorry. you're struggling with some of these. things I know such a bad it's such a. tough feeling when you feel like you. just everywhere you turn you you make.

mistakes or you mess things up or you. know and um I can really relate to that. man I can really relate to thinking. because then I start thinking I'm no. good I'm no good as a person that's. where that when that kind of stuff. happens in my life. I start thinking I'm no good as a person. and then I don't want to interact with. other people anymore because I feel like. oh man. every time I interact with people I just.

end up kind of messing their lives up or. doing something bad and and the safest. thing for me to do is just stay away. from others and be and just keep to. myself but then when I do that the. little dark arts really can bloom even. stronger because I'm just. alone with my thoughts and let me say. this man my brother helped me realize. this recently that what I do and who I. am are can be different things if I make. mistakes that doesn't mean that I'm a.

mistake okay you're a good person you. have made some choices that didn't work. out the way you wanted them to you. probably feel the repercussions of those. are really huge and you can't surmount. them but you can you know and all these. things aren't happening at once you know. I know it feels like they are but you. can solve them one at a time now if you.

apologize to somebody you can't expect. them maybe to immediately accept the. apology. and be okay that's now that's that's. something we can't expect but you can. let them know hey this is the choice I. made this is why I made it I made a. mistake let me know how can if there's. something I can do to remedy the. situation I know you helped me get this. job let me know what it is I think if. you're honest and sincere then you can.

repair those those damages I really. believe that now you may not repair them. immediately it may take a little bit of. time for those to completely repair or. get better so just recognize that don't. don't think if that doesn't hey did you. know they don't accept me immediately or. they don't that that you're that. everything's horrible or it's never. gonna happen that's not true. but the choices you make are things that. happen or things you do or things you're. a part of and who you are those are two.

different things man you know this. doesn't mean you're a bad person that. doesn't mean you're not going to be. successful that doesn't mean you're not. capable it doesn't mean you don't. deserve to live in this world or to be a. part of a loving relationship or to have. somebody care about you this dud that. doesn't mean any of these things. you know it sounds like um you maybe. could just use some help overall it. seems like with the way that you are.

operating in the world you know. sometimes the way that we think the. world is and the way that it really is. are a little bit off and for me I got in. and that's why I could this got into. twelve-step and stuff like that recovery. programs because those things really. helped me you know always thought that. everybody was I was a little I don't. know I thought that it was all about me. like I don't know sometimes I still do I.

don't know I try and think of what I. thought I always thought that life was. this weird competition kind of that. everybody was keeping all these scores. and nobody was it wasn't really. happening people were just trying to. survive and people were just and for the. most part people were trying to do well. and they were trying to do well by one. another and when I learned to interact.

with the world at an easier softer way. things got easier for me in every asset. and every facet relationships employment. you know I learned how to uh you know. just the value of telling the truth. sometimes a lot about [ __ ] man and that. he shouldn't even have still do. sometimes but not like I was before man. and I felt like the world didn't want me. that it just like I was just hearing it.

sometimes and now I know I'm a part of. it just like other people are and then. we all make mistakes and a lot of times. people are really understanding when. they when you're really being honest. with them there's somewhere inside of me. a long time ago I felt like if I was. honest with people that they weren't. gonna love me I think you know what I. think is some of that just went back to. maybe at a young age or you know maybe I. felt like I was really expressing need. and I didn't get the response that I.

wanted and so somewhere inside of me. that part of me closed up and didn't. really open up correctly again. but that's not true man you did there's. a couple of things that have occurred. and you can you can remedy them for. yourself and you can change the way that. you behave so that they don't happen. again so you don't feel this way again. and that's what I did find when I got. into 12-step and the type of stuff as I.

found an easier softer way to live which. I didn't think existed man God you know. I thought that the world like I still. feel like I sometimes I take my own. willpower back so much and it's like I. just I'm trying to control everything. and man I can't do that I can't do that. and thank God I can't if the world. revolved around me dude it would fall. apart you know I don't even have any.

milk at home so [ __ ] you know how I'm. doing but it's gonna be okay man I. promise you and if you're not feeling. good take a nap or something and take. some positive action but don't sit. around just thinking and for just feel. and move your feet move your feet man. and your brain will follow take action. and you can remedy these you can remedy. these things millions of people have.

been through the same type of time. you're having right now and they are. okay and they are living lives right now. that are comfortable and loving and and. there's nothing wrong with you as a. person you know there really isn't man. there's nothing wrong with you as a. person you there you were involved some. things right now where you haven't made. some of the best choices that's okay you. know what that is as human and the.

beautiful thing is it sounds like. there's a lot of people around you that. also really can see the good parts of. you people are willing to help you out. and recommend you for things and you. know so sometimes if we can't even see. our own beauty we can't even see the. beautiful things that are in us man. because the way that we've. see the world is a little off it's not. the right way or are we in a. kaleidoscope and really it's just some.

it's just a pipe or you could just see. through it but we out here kaleidoscope. him and we got to be tuned a little but. keep your help keep your head up man and. be good to yourself dude and just. realize that we're all just people and. that uh that we're trying our best and. it's okay man if you if some things. happen it's okay you know you're not a. bad person okay you just have done a. couple things that aren't working out. for you at this moment but take be easy.

on yourself you know it's the same thing. you guys always tell me so I just learn. this from watching y'all but yeah I'm so. excited for Dustin Poirier this weekend. do you guys know I am I'm always talking. about on Instagram and [ __ ] and uh I. just you know you know um he just has I. don't know man the guy just I feel like.

he fights for people that can't fight. for themselves a little bit he's that. underdog you know he's that thing inside. of all of us a little bit that and it's. and to me there's just something. inspirational about it and I think it is. to anybody but I'll tell you this man. and this is one time where it makes more. sense than ever do be good to yourself. brother you know be good to yourself man. I mean [ __ ] dude they I was in a so far. in left-field dude I was even one time I. got a job bagging groceries and I was.

still in the game. so I you know sometimes life puts us in. some precarious scenarios but that's. okay that's okay man like this is a this. is a challenge for everyone it's a. challenge for everyone so just don't be. too hard on yourself man be all you can. be all right I promise you I promise you. man I felt so bad about myself and and.

right now I feel okay. and you will too it's okay man it's okay. and I'll keep repeating that but I just. want to make sure that you know it you. know and that you are that you are okay. it's gonna be alright you guys be good. to yourselves man check out that uh the. whole conversation with them with Billy. come for toes cousin man you got to make. sure that you check that out man Chucky.

or Chuck sorry you check out that hole. oh man he just sent me this picture oh. man he just sent me this picture of. Billy's mom wearing the r.i.p Billie. conforto shirt and one of the dogs is. like kind of getting onto her lap a. little bit yeah god is good bro humanity. as powerful dude I'm Chuck he just said.

just gave my mom her shirt tears of joy. man yeah it's okay man if we make. mistakes or we mess up because we just. we can we can we can get things back on. track and we can tighten up and we can. affect people we don't know the actions. that you know the friendships we're. going to make the effect that they're. gonna have on people years later years. later there's a picture of Billy. conforto his mom right here wearing a.

shirt tears of joy he said you know. that's the power of people right there. yeah we're gonna be okay man you guys be. good to yourselves you know you know. somebody's hands are cold boy hanging. with the mayor mittens dude life is. short but it is sweet man and we're here. together you know and there's a reason. why we're all here at the same time I.

believe that you guys be good to. yourselves and we're gonna go out the. way that we came into the world baby but. but shine. [Music]. r.i.p balls.

[Music]. little time for me to sell that parking. brake. [Music].

tell you a story. [Music]. just embankment gang baby moving way too. fast on a runaway train with come out. [Applause]. [Music].

[Music]. make sense um what I really see baby. me house it me tell you my story.

[Music]. you name a tougher Italian boxer chef. busboy dope runner gay champion dog. owner friend loyal human then Billy.

conforto I don't think you can and you. know what man it just shows we're not. just one thing you make some mistakes we. do this you mess up at work you hit a. car you do we're not just one thing man. that thing doesn't define who you are. there are many many things and more. often than not all the things that you. are when we put them together man that. we're okay you know we are a good person.

you know just look at the big picture of. who you are cuz I bet it's a nice image. brother. [Music]. [Music]. you gotta be good to yourselves man.

because you deserve it okay.