Competitive Kingdom | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #516

all right let's get some tour dates that. we have I August 30th and 31st these are. new we'll be back in Las Vegas Nevada at. Resorts World Las Vegas that is during. um LSU and. um um USC weekend University of Southern. California so if you want to come laugh. during that weekend be grateful to have. you there it's going to be a joy. Oklahoma City Oklahoma September 25. North Little Rock September 26.

Springfield Missouri September 27 Kansas. City Missouri September 28 sou Fall. South. Dakota Dakota October 10th Lacrosse. Wisconsin October 11th Green Bay. Wisconsin on October 12th and Molen. Illinois October 13th grateful for all. of those get your tickets at theo. comom. T um and there are other shows too you. can find them all on the website.

appreciate you guys' support I can't. believe this uh that we've gotten to do. this thank you we got new merch guys we. have new colorways for the be good to. yourself t-shirts we have blue jean. Granite Bay and. banana check all that and more at. theovon store.com the only place we sell. merch boom boom she got them she got. them.

shorty want a thug baby that's what they. say that's what they say baby shorty. want a. thug B do do Shorty want a thug though. look at B ask bad baby right now that. you know sure they don't want that Thug. You Feel Me sure they don't how about. this show they don't want a. thug that's a way better song.

sure they want a. businessman sure they want an. electrician that's what sure they want. bro sure they want hopes and. dreams that's a you know some of the. songs just aren't. really they're not telling the. truth that's the thing cuz shy don't. want a thug shy don't want a thug man.

show they want a three-bedroom. house with two and a half. baths where's that song man where is. that song we need real music baby um. what's going on out there what's going. on you little uh you little cinnamon. sniffers baby where y'all at huh where. y'all. at little hyped up today's humid it's. the Heat.

this heat got me. man this heat got. me bro you take an animal outside and. next thing you know that thing's. grilled that thing is grilled bro you. got you a little beach on or whatever. you at the park and next thing you know. that thing it's grilled you'll have a. couple of uh I don't want to say it but. c h i n. SE you'll have them show up and be like. oh so what's up Happ what what's. happening appetizer um but yeah it's.

just dangerous out there dangerous to. hit the dog. part dangerous for anybody it's. dangerous out there a lot of heat um I. was in Las Vegas this weekend it was 117. degrees man I didn't know they had that. much. degrees that's the kind of [ __ ] you see. on the side of a oven bro that's just. too. much it's just too much degrees for a uh. regular man or woman.

so um what's going on man I miss you. guys happy to be here today with. you H I'm in I'm in the studio I'm in. the uh OG studio today so I really. feel um yeah feel some Nostalgia about. that uh A lot's Been Going On A lot's. been happening I hope you guys are are. doing well I'm trying to do more solo. episodes cuz I think it's important and. I miss it I want to let you know that I. miss it.

um yeah what's happening you I haven't. spoken to you guys since I went to um I. went to Ireland brother in England and. they call it the United Kingdom but um. but it's not it's I guess it's kind of. United maybe I don't know if you're in. Ireland and you're on stage and and you. yell out [ __ ] England they go Bonkers. dude they will start eating the freckles. off of each other they um um so I guess.

it's United but it's competitive so. that's what they should call it probably. the competitive Kingdom I think that's. very. fair. um and even certain parts of it feel. like like in Ireland they're like we're. the real Ireland you know and then if. you get over to. um you know once you get over to England. like the people in Manchester they're. they're like oh [ __ ] London they're you. know they're Posh you know and so there. was just a lot going on man it was just.

a lot to be associated with but but I. want to I want to say thank you to all. the people that came out over there it's. important that I address that I did you. know sometimes I feel like I leave a. place and there's not a way to to um say. thank. you you know I'll go do a show somewhere. and I leave and a lot of times I'll be. sitting in um the tour bus or the car or. something and I was like man I wish how. do I thank all these. people you know and I'll share something. on my uh social story or is share a.

thank you but I'm like man I just wish. there was a way to uh to thank people. better sometimes um and Ireland was pray. Ireland was it was something else man. godp speed to those drunken kuners bro. those people they will Oh They'll drink. their buddy dude I saw a guy put a straw. in his friend and [ __ ] drink him. right there all like. damn wow and he was.

lukewarm at least put some you know get. him on ice or something or put a lime. wedge on his shoulder it's just the way. that they're doing it over there I you. know and I it's mostly men I want to say. that in Ireland and they're going to. disagree and not fine but it's mostly. men over there I've never seen so many. men in my life wonderful men you know. beautiful semi beautiful off beautiful. um and not even beautiful men as well um. and it's totally white you know whitest.

group afraid of the Sun but not of the. Guinness that's they're not afraid. that's the one. thing the Guinness Bob the darkest thing. in the whole country is the Guinness. they didn't have any like I I even saw I. remember seeing one black guy and I was. like oh my God are you a Guinness like. they just don't. have uh a lot of diversity you know in. fact if someone there has a black child. they just name it Guinness and I'm I'm. like well that seems but um but yeah.

just a marvelous group of people over. there you. know and in Ireland they're always they. send there's always the one Irish guy. they none of them they all stay inside. and they're in there drinking and it it. doesn't matter where they're is it could. be a home an apartment it could be a pet. store you open the pet store there's. couple pets right and then there's like. people just in there drinking iTab be. you open a hardware store and there's. three wrenches and then 11 guys in there.

drinking and singing The Pogues songs. you know it's. um it's a drinker Paradise over there it. really is and then every now and then. you'll see the one Irish guy who they. send to check out to see if it's sunny. outside right and that's I don't know if. he lost a bet or whatever but there's. always that one Irish guy that they send. out you know to check the weather and it. could be 2° celsus in Ireland which is. like 60 degrees Fahrenheit and he'll.

come back in with a. sunburn it's there anybody there you cut. a lamp on and four guys get sunburned in. Ireland it's just all right oh [ __ ] we. need some aloe vera here for uh. Brennan so you know that's a lot of the. culture even if I turn the light on on. my phone right 11 guys get sunburned. immediately you're like oh Jesus turn it. off we're going to get cancer um.

the I there there's always it's always. guys it's. like they're all singing anything you. you'd open up anything a pothole on the. street they're in there. like and they're just drinking beers and. singing it's just a. culture uh cuz I grew up in New Orleans. you know and so there there's a lot of. drunk people vomiting and like. projectile vomiting in the people you. know in the strip clubs and [ __ ] and.

like um but in Ireland it's just in them. it's in them their bones are 30 proof. it's just built into. them uh so it's a different kind of. thing they're drunk but. they're they're just. Irish they're just Irish you know the. crazy one is if a guy gets so drunk the. freckles on his face start kind of. moving around or relocating or they'll. spell out things like oh you know Donnie.

needs a taxi it'll just the the freckles. will start to ask for help that's when a. guy is too drunk and too Irish you know. they're like oh Michael needs a biscuit. you know it it'll just start saying like. that oh call the cops you know so you. just have to be you got to be you got to. look out for that. guy but it's a beautiful country man um. beautiful people and I guess this is how.

I kind of say thanks you know just by um. making sure I try to. reminisce. um what else was oh the best thing in. Ireland they're always like all the. girls are coming you'll meet some fellas. at a pub or something they like the. girls the lady they'll be here soon the. girls are. coming and you'll wait 20 minutes or 30. minutes and the girls are never. coming there's got to be a women in.

Ireland and they are busy I'll say that. they're busy. lasses but they're never coming we went. out a couple nights and the the guys we. met they're like where the girls are. coming and we'd wait and they would just. close the bar and send it everybody home. the girls are never coming um we saw. what oh we saw the uh in Belfast and. it's beautiful let me tell you this. these places are beautiful I joke but.

they're beautiful they're beautiful. places and the people are beautiful they. really are it's fascinating to see just. this culture of just not obsessed with. things as much as we are in the states. just more in the moment I definitely. noticed that about the Irish you know I. mean the moment is a bar I will say that. the moment is a the moment is 20 proof. but they're in it they're definitely in. it and we went to Bel fast and they have. a museum they're like come see the.

Titanic where where we built the. Titanic and I'm like dude I ain't going. to see that bro that the Titanic sank. bro why are you why like I don't. understand I guess um like why if it. sank are you like come see it you know. you [ __ ] it's [ __ ] [ __ ] L it. [ __ ] it drank ocean.

brother so I don't want to see where you. made it that that's not a good. shop that's like in Malaysia if they're. like oh come see where we made the plane. you're like it's [ __ ]. missing so um the girls are coming. they're never coming do you get it. they're never coming the. girls um but yeah I you know I'm joking. obviously and.

uh and you know what's funny though. Irish and and English people you don't. have to say you're a joke and they. [ __ ] love it that's what I. learned so maybe I'll try to say it less. you know. um but yeah beautiful people over there. beautiful people in Ireland and uh every. bar though yeah filled with men you open. any door in Ireland it's men you open a. pothole in there people are drinking you. you open a cupboard to get you a plate. and there's six people on the plate. drinking.

you open an app on your phone in Ireland. and there's three guys in the app. drinking you're like what the hell is. this it's just the culture man you open. up uh somebody somebody opened a new. restaurant and we went for the opening. grand opening we open a doors there's 48. people drinking no. food uh we went to Dublin. Dublin and that's like the Posh Ireland. you know that's like they call it West. England that's what the other parts of. Ireland call it and the shows there it.

was phenomenal we just had one show you. know um it was good it was really good. actually and then we went down to to be. honest look I'll say when they're bad. and there's some bad ones um but this. one it was a good one it was a good one. sometimes you get off stage you're like. oh [ __ ] finally it was good you. know and I know I'm hard on myself too. but it's like yeah that's how I feel. about it um. what else happened oh yeah we went down.

to Cork you know and cork is at the. bottom of Ireland and it's a different. type of place down there you know and. you think you know Ireland you think oh. cork you know they're finally going to. put a cork in the bottle you know it'll. be kind of sober Ireland or whatever you. know and they're going to get down to. just living and living just comfortable. lives you know but nah it's just drunk. men drunk cattle even they had drunk. cattle I saw two cows that couldn't even. pay their tab at a pub and and they. butchered him right there God you know.

just heartbreaking you know and the the. the barkeep he like payer tuab and. they're. [Music]. like and he's like what are you saying. he's. [Music]. like more beer and then they [ __ ]. butchered them right there but he don't. the the Cals don't they don't have any. hands to even payer tab the guy put the. little like um electronic payer tab. thing and the you know all I got the.

Bell around her neck and there's no. credit info in it so just kind of. heartbreaking to witness some of that. but um in Cork we performed in a. tent like in a circus T it was Outdoors. blue and yellow it's blue and yellow and. there's a couple it just and I was like. who is going to show up to this circus. tent and some freaking dogs showed.

up um so that was crazy that show was. kind of tough just ah but it was great. man it's just. been you know it. um yeah hope I don't sound like I'm. complaining it just been yeah just like. I don't know sometimes it all happens so. fast and you wish you could hold on to. it you. know I think that's how I feel yeah. sometimes it just all happens so fast. and you just want to hold on to it more.

um but yeah we got to go see a Dairy. Farmer right when we got over to Cork uh. the driver our driver his cousin or. nephew was working at a dairy farm so we. went out there and that was pretty cool. we got to see the cows and. just you. know I never known that much about a cow. to be honest with you bro some people. look at me and they're like oh yeah this.

bastard knows about cows bro this that. little cow baby you know this that. little [ __ ] bull dog bro that little. calf daddy that's how they see me they. like oh this little this little boy will. suck on a. utter you know this boy is nasty but the. truth is I don't know much about. him a lot of cows when I look at them. they look like they kind of remind me. of blind people a little a little bit.

um and I don't know why you know I guess. and I I don't know if I have to know why. you know but um but yeah we got to go. see a dairy farm and just see what it. was like and we got to sit at the table. at the Farmer's Table and just kind of. have a a meal with him and some tea and. uh that was awesome that was like the. most like settled thing we did on the. whole trip over there in the. UK yeah and it was just but and the girl. girls are coming the girls are never.

coming guys I don't even know how. there's any people in Ireland because. you need women to. make. people you know I don't care how. Progressive you are you put two dudes in. a room for a long time. dude you open that door again there's. only going to be two people in. there you need a woman bro there the uh.

they're the strike to the match the. match is dumb the strike is where you. get that magic baby and um so yeah. there's like everybody's like the girls. are coming they're never coming they. never showed up we never saw them we. never saw them lied didn't see it's just. it's a bunch of Conor McGregor. fans swearing that the girls are coming. and they and I don't know where the. girls are I don't know at the dairy farm.

was that's the most females I saw that. was it you know and some of them are. cute I'll say it you know depending on. how cold it gets some them more. cute yeah and the but yeah the the. wildest thing about Ireland is the the. craziest thing you can do you can go on. stage you can say [ __ ] England and they. will go ape [ __ ] they will start eating. the freckles off their face they'll. [ __ ] they'll start licking the. sunburn off their buddy they'll do it. all you know uh they really they love to.

say that over there um but then then we. went to. England and we couldn't say that anymore. on stage because we were in England and. England was great. dude you know I think people know I've. had some history with the British over. the years you know. um you know because we used to be. British or. whatever if you look at the Christopher. Columbus the Bible or.

whatever and we left we're like we're. out you know shorty won a thug bro so we. left but. then um so I was always like why would. you. know you know it's not going you know. you you want to stay where you are you. know you're you're you're moving forward. you know you know they say you can't go. home. again you know it's like that Miranda. Lambert song it's just like you know you.

don't want to go back it's not the same. um but it was great man it was so great. dude so I'll say [ __ ] England when I'm. in Ireland but when I get to England. dude I'm not saying it anymore I had a. great time we went to. Manchester and uh one of the best shows. some amazing shows in London we're. playing during the soccer match um. what was going on we had Amir K on tour.

with us Shane Todd was there uh if you. haven't gotten a check him out man he's. just such a joy to be around um Jimmy. Carr showed up and did a guest set in. London along with Katherine. Ryan um and so that was really cool I. you. know just that kindness of them to say. hey I'd love to come and um and be on. the show and that meant a lot to me you.

know I felt really really welcome there. and it was also a time when the soccer. was kicking off in in uh in the UK so so. people in England were hyped bro hurri. Kane hurry Kane people kept yelling. Harry Kane at me and I thought my penis. was hanging out I'm like oh [ __ ] I'll. wax it you know but. um but yeah I just want to say thank you. to everybody that came out over there. it's just such a crazy experience to go. to another country country and people. come out to the show you know and then.

you're worried that like people don't. like they don't know what you're talking. about or that you have to change your. references or whatever but that's not. the you know some of that's all in my. head so I think like in the First shows. of um in Ireland I was like worried like. there's this exchange rate or whatever. um but it's not necessarily the case so. um yeah so that's what it was like over. there I'm trying to think think of. anything else kind of wonderful that.

happened I. mean it was just fast you know it was it. just all uh it just happens at the speed. of life and sometimes. it's it feels quicker than we. wish you know it feels quicker than we. wish sometimes I feel like life wants to. just like minutes are just faster than. they used to. be like even minutes they want to get. done with it they're like let's get done. with.

it like I'm just a minute I'm just going. to. hurry it just used to feel like things. were a little bit. slower are you struggling with keeping. your website up to date and running your. business well now you can binge all the. web design and digital marketing you. want with modify modify helps you with. unlimited web design and redesigns. unlimited website updates. 247 support and digital advertising they. design my website and I'm grateful for.

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oy.com. Theo um what else is going on dude uh. Joe Biden he's I love this bro. Joe. Biden has decided now that he's running. for. president now everybody knows that or if. you don't and if you don't know I I. don't my issue. with Democratic party is taking.

advantage of a senior citizen that's my. issue I think that they should have. taken Bobby Kennedy on and brought him. into the fold I think that he is a. plausible candidate who's willing to. talk about real [ __ ] that's how I feel. he's a plausible candidate that's. willing to talk about real things and. not only just wait for the question to. come at him but to say this is what I. want to do and when he says it you. believe him I think people are like he's.

bat [ __ ] crazy yeah well everybody's bat. [ __ ] crazy dude okay Jim Henson put his. hand up little. bodies and made the muppets dude you. don't think that was [ __ ] crazy yeah. it was. dude so I just did I've never liked that. I known that this guy is not doing well. you know my father was a senior citizen. when I was born so I don't like the. taking advantage of somebody who is not.

mentally well it's [ __ ] up it's I. don't care who you are I don't care what. you think it's messed up and they was. doing it they was puppeting old [ __ ]. Joey B. son and so here's the here's the. hilariousness of it so he's been. experiencing dementia for a while right. I think that's been pretty. obvious and now they kept telling him so. much like these puppeteers whoever they.

are we don't know who they are but we we. know who they are uh they've been saying. like you're the President Joe you're the. guy you're the. president and. now when they're like you're not you. can't do it he's like he Bel now he's. the. president it's almost like you convince. a a puppet that they're real for so long. and suddenly they [ __ ] they believe. it so it's just gotten crazy you know.

it's like if we can't control Biden how. can we control. AI you know we can't even control b a i. d en dude it's a rap bro it's a wrap. so all this [ __ ] to me is just kind of. hilarious um I think we need more. parties we need more possibilities I. think we I think the ca CIA and the f. FBI or corrupt I believe that we are.

living in a very. corrupt um experience with our. government that's really what I believe. um and I don't believe that on the. individual I don't think that the. individuals are I want to say. that you know um but I think that the. powers that are pushing them um are. because I don't believe that on an. individual level um anyway sorry that's.

a lot of politics from me but I I just. I'm so excited now I'm so because. imagine you like build a character on an. on an NBA 2K or something right or 7K or. whatever it is now and then finally you. log in one time and you want to use your. character or whatever and your character. just [ __ ] looks at the screen and. gives you those Nate Diaz number ones. baby the middle. fies and then he just does his own [ __ ]. on the game and you you just have to.

watch so that's what I'm to I am hyped. about this about. Biden um just because it's all that's. what you get that's what you get for. telling a puppet that it's real the. whole time um anyway so not to get super. political uh but those are just some of. my thoughts. um I'm always about the underdog you. know that a lot of times I'm about the. underdog. and I felt like they were Miss they were.

what they were doing to Joe Biden what. what whatever you think about him. politically what they're doing to him I. thought was [ __ ] up you know if I sat. in a room with a senior citizen and I. knew something was not well about. him and I said things to him or made him. believe things to take advantage of. him that's that's a sick person that. would do. that you know that's. if that happened to my father I've said. this before if somebody did that to my.

father I would [ __ ] take their legs. off their body and hide them in their. cousin's ass dude that's who I. am you know I there's just nothing. sicker to me than that it's like there's. people that call uh old people and try. to sell them gold and cheat them out of. their money all that [ __ ] or the uh. those Nigerian scammer people I know. that they're just trying to make money. in their country but just taking. advantage of senior citizens just. [ __ ] and that [ __ ] [ __ ] makes me.

angry bro and I'm sorry to use a lot of. profanity. today. um what else is going on sorry if this. is all over the place but I you know. I've never known what this show is and. so this is what it is um I went to a. WNBA game I'll say it dude a lot of guys. are afraid to say it you know you know. and I will say that I promised my father. on his Deathbed. that I would not go to a WNBA game that.

was like his one promise or. whatever. and and I you know and I felt like of. course I won't. go um and he he goes oh your mother if. your mother found out you went to a WNBA. game she'd roll over in her. grave and I said I remember being like. well Mom's not dead yet and he's like. she's dead on the inside that's what he. said dud like who dad that's crazy I.

mean maybe but that's crazy um but no I. love you mom um but but I went to a game. man I went to a game uh this past. weekend in Las Vegas I'm a Kate Martin. fan I'm not going to sit in the closet. anymore I am a Kate Martin fan I became. an Iowa Hawkeyes female basketball fan I. did. and a lot you know for some people it's.

almost like admitting that they're using. drugs or whatever for me it's not like. that I became an Iowa hawkey fan female. Hoops I mean they put up way more points. than the Iowa men's football. team so right there if you even want to. see a point scored you got to watch them. if you're even anywhere near Iowa City. so um but yeah so I went to a Kate. Martin game and I got to see her play.

dude and I was [ __ ] excited man I'm. not gonna and I'll say this this is the. best. thing. um the best thing that I didn't realize. is uh some of the player you know as a. guy you're sitting there you're watching. the. game and first of all it's super. relatable and I'll tell you why because. a lot of times you'll see the women. driving into the hoop and you they can't. dunk right they can't dunk and that's.

fine but it's the to me it's the most. relatable thing I've ever seen I can't. dunk you know at this point in my life I. can't dunk so if I'm going to the hoop. and I got a lay up it's the there's. nothing more relatable to a white guy. than driving to the hoop and you can't. dunk so at that moment I was like holy. [ __ ] this the most relatable moment of. my whole life. I can't really relate to all those.

bangers that are out there in the NBA. all those vonce Carters baby them Vince. caras I can't re you know I can admire. it but I can relate to it but when you. see somebody coasting through the lane. or trying to figure it out catching a. bounce pass and they're going up and the. only thing they can do is lay. up bro. as a white off-white semi.

Nicaraguan. guy I can relate a th%. dude so that's one thing that I realized. it was so relatable about the games man. um the second thing that I thought was. really fascinating is as a man some of. the players you're attracted to them you. know you're watching the players and a. lot of a lot of they're wi they're women. so if you's a man that likes a one a.

woman then. you you're you. know so it's weird so it's like you know. at the men's game that never happens I'm. just kind of marveling at the. athleticism I'm hoping that none of the. players are trying to bang my girl or. whatever um just usual [ __ ] but as at. the WNBA game you're like damn shorty. shorty shorty. they want a.

comic you know you just it's. different so I realized that I thought. that was interesting just to have this. element of like. oh I'm I'm attracted to some of these GS. bro and some guys be like I would never. be attracted bro go to the games. dude go to the games bro see if some of. these beautiful broads don't hit a. three-pointer and you butt start. sweating a.

little all. right live your life. [Music]. oh so yeah so just been praying about a. lot of that kind of stuff man but that. was so those were some things about the. WNBA game that I really loved. um and I know it sounds crazy to say. that I'm sorry. Dad I'm sorry Dad uh.

but um Asia Wilson broke the franchise. record I didn't know there was a. franchise but it doesn't matter she. broke the franchise record and this is. one of the best things that the WNBA has. going for it as. well I think this is my opinion my. opinion means nothing means nothing D. you could feed it to a [ __ ] baby you. could feed it to a. bean but the fact. that the best team in the league right. now is in Las Vegas so you have so many. people that are just in Las Vegas that.

are there you know. touristing so if they go see a team bro. they're going to see the best. team so I'm not sure if that's by Design. you never. know that's the dark arts is the people. in the distance you don't know what. they're doing but. um but yeah it was just there's just so. many different little elements that kind. of happen at a WNBA game. and some people people are going to. chirp me or whatever for having gone I.

look you know. um you know I'm an underdog I I've you. know that's where I'm at so but yeah it. was a okay it was it was a great it was. uh I had a great time man it was fun it. just and I'll say this the games are a. little shorter it's a little quicker um. and you're attra you're attracted to. some of the ladies on the court so you. know they got it's like damn and you. it's just there's a different thing. going on when you are a man at the game.

I think and that's okay man it just is. what it is and. so um I had a great time with my family. dude I had an amaz some of my best the. best shows I've had uh in the past few. years were throughout Idaho and Utah. this week I want to thank everybody that. came. out that really meant a lot um just even. being in Las Vegas some you know just. getting to be in Las Vegas dude it's. like you go to Las Vegas and the. freaking advertisement goes by and it's. me you know and I sat there with my mom.

and we rode in together from my brothers. cuz we spent um we spent. uh Fourth of July with my brother he. lives in Springdale. Utah and it's there's nobody it's 250. people there and um and he likes it he. likes the place and he likes being there. and it was just nice man I got to go to. lunch with my nephew you and just be. like you know what's going on bro you.

know and talk about his life and stuff. and um yeah that was cool it made me. feel it was nice I'm thankful to God. that I got to have that kind of moment. just where you know we got to go. together and then I'm able you know I'm. trusted to take my nephew out to lunch. and and we just had a nice time we drove. around and just talked stuff you know. cuz I think maybe for nephews some some. things they can't talk about their dads. with I don't know but it was just cool.

you know and. um yeah that made me feel like. uh like I had some value you know like. important like or just like familiarly. like family importance or whatever they. call it. um but yeah we got to drop we got we. rode back in with my mom and she came to. my show on Friday night and if you were. at that show in Vegas it was pretty cool. you know.

um I know my you know me figuring out. like my. like yeah I mean my mother and I had a. tough time grow you know we've had a. tough time over the years and. uh but she still stay she you know she. listens to every episode of this. show you know which is kind of wild. because um she couldn't be there when I. was young. you know but I know she tries her best. to show up as an adult you know when I'm.

now you know and so it's just I feel. uh I don't know it. just you know and some of that's been. it's been hard for me to like evolve. like you know to forgive my mom and. stuff but. um yeah I'm grateful. that you know even the PE like I'm just. grateful that my mom has been patient. while I'm trying to figure this.

out and go through it and it's gotten a. lot better you know. um it's gotten a lot. better and I'm just I'm really thankful. to God for that you know to the powers. that be in the world because I didn't. know you know I don't. know sometimes I never knew if I would. have any other feelings towards my mom. other than. um discomfort. and that's not the case now I have like.

feelings that pop into my head where. uh that are new and. different so I'm just yeah I'm just. thankful that um yeah I'm thankful about. that but it was just fun you know that. she got to come and see. me do what I like to. do you know and so I'm just you know I'm. just grateful for that um cuz every kid.

just wants to make their mom or dad. proud you know that's all they want to. do that's it I you. know I mean they want to steal their. parents' car sometimes too but outside. of that you know and they want to. freaking hook up with a strin or with. like some somebody from down the street. when their parents are out of town or. whatever but outside of that dude all. they want to do is make their parents. proud you know so. so that was uh really special to me um.

what else is going on sorry if I'm. rambling we haven't even gotten into any. of you guys' calls and really why I feel. the only reason I even want to do these. episodes um is so I can check in with. you guys bro no cap do or for real sorry. to say No Cap at my age um and so you. know I asked in the past the last solo. episode and I try to solo episodes are. kind of linked and so if you're not. familiar with this podcast or if you're.

new to it um solo episodes are kind of. linked and so um I asked in the past who. listens to the episode so I'm just going. to Rattle off a few of them right here. here we go hi Theo um my name is Zeta. and you wondering what people do for. work so I'm telling you what my job is I. grade beef yeah and I'm kind of a bigger. girl if you know what I'm saying so it's. kind of embarrassing because people. probably think I sneak a snack or. something but my job basically is like.

when you go to the grocery store and you. you know buy a riye steak or something. and it says like Prim riye or Choice. ribeye or select or whatever that's what. I that's what I grade it's pretty cool. job I love my job I love your job and I. love you too thank you for grading that. beef shorty give me a C+ I'll be good. that's who I am you know what I'm saying. give me a 75 baby I'm good long as it. look long as you don't say my Meats.

contaminated baby we good you feel me. who else listens to the show hey Theo. this is Neil in Wisconsin just uh. checking in out here uh delivering. carbon dioxide also known as CO2 also. known as carbonation trying to make sure. that everybody's sodas are busy and. remain that way gang gang amen baby keep. it fizzy out there baby keep them bubs. bubb and dog you know what I'm saying.

you that champagne baby you're the. champagne in my life daddy let's hear. more dog who else listens to the. [Music]. episodes hey Theo I work as a social. worker oh. damn in some jails here in. Nevada uh I just want to let you know I. listen to the Pod you're always playing. in the background while I'm sitting here. at the jail after I see everybody and.

just wanted to give you a call and say. thank you I appreciate what you do I'm. out there talking to people keeping them. going and you're back here talking to me. keeping me going thank you oh thanks. yeah I always wanted to go to jail and. uh and I might sometime I don't know. we'll see how bad my marriage is one day. if I get married but um but thank you. love I appreciate that and thank you for. keeping them boys going I know people. make mistakes and they still need to uh. they still deserve to help to get help.

when they need the most help sometimes. baby praise God you feel L on me gang. gang let's hear another one hey Theo. this is um Danielle from Illinois. Danielle Illinois baby let's hear it I'm. a Beauty School Dropout turned. production welder and I just heard your. pod the merging where you asked what. everybody does for a living so I figured. I'd call in and let you know amen baby. thank you for calling you a welder huh. you welding that bead work huh I feel.

you baby won't you. freaking me up a little steak baby. that's what I would like to see somebody. that you know steak by welder and that. [ __ ] is [ __ ] Grill do it. down that thing look like a fued damn. dark magc nugget baby damn baby praise. God let's hear more hey Theo my name is. Payton and I am a school nurse and I AB. absolutely love your podcast it's one of. my favorites I just sit here dying well.

thanks Payton I appreciate you I. appreciate you for listening and. God the school nurse dude if you got a. school nurse it was hot dude it was like. God just praying for cancer whatever. onward I adored your podcast with. Melissa anel the school lunch lady it. was hilarious and so relatable um I oh.

yeah she's on that lunch game baby lot. of uh Brads in that in them meal streets. here more I just wanted to call in and. let you know um that I was a nurse and I. love you and I do have a question how. hot is Joe Rogan in. person well uh he's Joe Joe is a. handsome guy um he has a great smile. that's one thing about Joe if he when he. smiles it. like you like it's.

awesome um he is very. fit um I think he's a handsome guy I'm. not a woman I don't know how you know. wom see handsome but for a man that's uh. I I think of him as a um he as a. handsome guy for sure um he is people. ask me about Joe all the time literally. I feel like I'm Joe like I feel like I'm.

a secretary so for Joe Rogan or like I'm. like that. um uh whoever the speaker of the house. is or something um it's a lady with the. curly hair for Biden who they always ask. her questions um I I think uh Joe Rogan. is very. smart that's one thing about about him. people try to label him I think as. different things sometimes or what he is. a smart guy he has a great memory you. can't really lie to him because he. uh he remembers so if you tell him some.

[ __ ] it's just like you know he. remembers um and it's also nice that he. remembers it makes him very um endearing. you know because he remembers things. about you and about the world and um. yeah he's like a. library that's one thing that I really. think about him it's like if if they. could make a library person. [Music]. it's Joe Rogan you can kind of show up. to the desk and ask hey do we have a.

book about this and he will go into his. memory because he's had so many. conversations and um and informative. conversations and he will share what he. can remember or what he knows um and. that's one thing that I think is very. fascinating about him he's a fascinating. man uh he really is and then when you. get to go watch him do the UFC it's just. like like he's like commentating then he. goes in the ring like it's fun man I I.

just feel so lucky that he. um he helped a lot of. comics H uh and Fighters UFC people kind. of connect in some weird way um so yeah. but that's what he's like I think uh. yeah and I think that's um exactly how I. uh think about him and I know if yeah if. I reach out to him about something he's. he's willing to be helpful and I also. know he's a very busy guy so I respect.

his time um but yeah um what else is. going on thank you guys for calling in. let me know who listens um yeah hit the. hotline 985 664. 9503 just let me know who listens I just. want to know who's out there um. yeah what else man uh let's hit the news. really quick we got some we have some. callers that called about their first. time uh somebody touching their. genitalia we're going to get to that.

shortly and then a few other callers. that called in um what's in the news. today oh Biden spotlights support for. NATO as he looks to Summit help reset. stumbling campaign um oh I already. talked about that yeah that Joe Biden. wants to be the president now they told. him he was the you tell him he's the. president for so long and then he just. walks off believing he's the president. baby let him cook son. let him cook bro that's where I'm at.

he's our Biden Stein baby he's our pres. noio baby you japeto him now let him. cook let him install I want handicap. rails along the Mississippi River I want. uh free Jello for anyone who can whistle. I want free Readers Digest for all. natural born. citizens let him cook. baby let I I'm just so excited Ed. now that they made somebody believe.

something and now they that dude is like. no you're not telling me I'm not the. president I'm running bro things could. not get any crazier man and so that's. got to be we have to look at it I think. as the in the excitement part you know. um is pornography causing a problem in. your life that's a good question it's a. real question it has in mind it has at. certain periods in my life. uh watching porno and everything and.

watching porno was making me it was. ruining my life it was ruining my life. man made me feel just so much shame. that's what it did well watching. pornography has become commonplace today. and often times men will use porno to. numb the pain of loneliness boredom. anxiety and. depression that's why I want to. introduce you to my friend step Walt. Steve is the founder of Valor recovery. he is a dear friend of mine he is a dear.

friend of mine and Valor recovery is a. program to help men overcome porn abuse. and sexual. compulsivity that's right their coaches. are in long-term recovery and they will. be your partner mentor and spiritual. guide to transcend problematic behaviors. there is zero Commitment if you reach. out to them it's just the first step and. trying to figure out if you may need. some help or if you can get some help to. learn more about Valor recovery please.

visit them at Valor recovery. coaching.com or email them at. admin Valor recovery. coaching.com the links will be uh on the. YouTube and again there's no commit when. you commitment when you reach out to. them um but I promise you uh only. something positive will come uh from you. reaching out and figuring out if um if. what type of help if any uh could. benefit you thank.

you um what else man. um yeah you know what actually I want to. share this dude I. am this is true for. me uh let me. see I am as of. today I want to let you know that I am. 36 days off of M masturbation and I am. 42 days off of.

pornography and that for me is. awesome that is. awesome um you know some people don't. worry about that kind of stuff you know. uh and that's fine but for me a lot of. my life I like if I felt uncomfortable. like you know one day I should do an. episode probably maybe about this kind. of stuff but. [Music]. um yeah when I was young I didn't you.

know I had a lot of trouble relating to. women or talking to women I was very. scared of uh women and dating I think a. lot of it was you know I didn't have a. connection with my mother and I've. talked about that I'm not trying to beat. that dead horse um but because of. that you know when you don't have a. connection with your mom that's your. first connection with a woman so I went. into the world and I was just so scar I. just was so scared of any uh connection.

any uh intimate connection with a female. and so when pornography came along it. was easy it was like oh I can have some. form of intimacy but it's. not it's not real you know it it just it. filled like this space that was huge in. me I didn't know how big it was at the. time and so that for a long time anytime. I had a feeling or anything you know I. would watch pornography or something or. I would masturbate or do something like.

that because I just didn't know how to. handle any of my feelings especially if. it was a feeling about like. um maybe dating or intimacy or whatever. I don't know I don't know a lot of it. I'm still learning about but. um but yeah so to have this. break. uh to have this like space and yeah I. mean I've had day you know a it changed. over time like it got better but it. still was always this thing like where.

if I felt uncomfortable then that you. know I would resort to. that um because it would make me feel. something it would make me feel some. connection even if it wasn't. real. um. so yeah I'm just I haven't had this kind. of a time in my life where I've had that. long off of those things and so I'm just. really thankful for that man you know. and um yeah I I I I started working with.

my buddy he works at this Valor recovery. we do ads for them sometimes we do pro. bono ads for their company because um I. believe in what they do. and um yeah so anyway uh maybe one day. I'll do like a more episode about that. kind of stuff about um being addicted to. that sort of thing and um and that sort. of thing maybe it would be you know. something to do. um anyway um let's get to some calls man.

you guys have uh spent your time calling. in I want to see a lot of people have. called in you know we we the last solo. episode we talked about the first time. somebody ever touched your genitalia. which is a very important time in. somebody's. life because for most of your life your. genitalia it's yours it's yours 99%. 99.9% of the time it's yours it's your. junk it's your a little [ __ ] dirty. little. secret.

but sometimes you let other people touch. it and you let them get involved with it. and so that's what I wanted to figure. out and see if we could uh get to some. of those calls right here actually yo. Theo it's Mike from the Quad Cities. what's up Mike Quad Cities over over. there and I believe that that's. Molen um let me see Quad Cities Iowa. it's Molen bondorf Davenport Rock Island.

and Molen we're coming to Molen as well. man uh let's hear more Illinois uh Rock. Island calling about the uh the. statement you made regarding when the. first time someone touched your. genitalia oh yeah baby that first junk. [ __ ] touch baby cuz there's not cuz. your whole life you've had your penis. you don't even know when you're a kid do. you even have a penis but then you get. to like 12 you're like holy [ __ ] dude I. got this wand on me or you're a a woman.

you're like holy [ __ ] you know I got. this pocket on me you know I got this. [ __ ] little party oyster on me what. do I do let's hear more besides myself. it was uh it was on the basketball court. at the fitness center I was uh was. playing a five on five full court and we. was playing with uh a group of uh older. people uh they was I was probably 14 and. they was probably around 40 I don't know. and uh there was a there was a female. one of them and she was guarding me and.

uh I cut to the hoop and she cut to the. draws you know what I'm saying she uh. she rubbed her hand across that. shaft well homie you got molested buddy. and you know I'm not a cop or anything I. you know I'm not a detective for sure. dude I can't even find my sandals that I. [ __ ] I swear to God they were at my. apartment um but yeah you got molested. man I'm sorry to hear about that let's. hear another one what do we got here heo.

this is Jaden from Indiana uh he told us. to call in about the first time somebody. touched you janit Talia and I have a. vivid memory of that which was I had. this girl over to my house when I was. about 16 and uh you know it was the. first time I had her up to my room and. oh bro the first time somebody comes to. your. room it's so.

crazy you're you don't even know what to. do dude it's so the first time a girl. comes to your room you're look like what. I've only seen this on the. internet sorry man I just had to relive. that moment it's such a moment onward. brother and I don't mean that not trying. to be creepy or nothing but well we are. creepy brother we're all creepy dude. there the first time we were alone. together yeah so it was just destined to. happen that something was going to go.

down and uh I remember the very first. two minutes of my bro just tell us what. [ __ ] happened dude this guy's just D. Jesus bro tell us what happened hward. very firsthand job you know my cousin. walks into my door and uh my door was a. blanket tacked up to the the door frame. you know just covering the the doorway. there bro get a freaking door dude.

you're trying to get a hand job behind a. blanket dude like you're some kind of. magician get a door. Whitey [ __ ] dude I hate that kind I'm. sorry to be upset with you sound like. you seem like a great guy but I I when. people get a door man you have a whole. room and you don't have a [ __ ]. door let's hear. more this guy he just buster through my. blanket door what up it's a BL it's not. a door don't say it's a door tree Fork.

whatever you want to call it of a door. and uh he's like oh my God don't ever. let me see you doing that again like. dude this is my room and here you coming. through my [ __ ] blanket door like an. animal and uh it was just something else. brother well you put up a damn doggy. door dude you can't be shocked if some. runs in through a damn doggy door Homie.

Get Well homie praise God brother let's. hear more dude hey Theo my name is Mandy. on your most recent episode you asked. people to call in about the first time. that they um that someone ever touched. their genital area show they want at. the yes ma'am I did thank you for uh. calling in about that onward. and my uh now husband uh we've been. dating since we were both 15 so when he.

was over at my house uh my parents they. were out in our hot tub and it was just. us in the living room and we were. watching um the movie water boy Whoa. whoa if somebody touches your freaking. junk to water. boy let's hear more and we started like. making out and kissing. and I was wearing these like dark jeans. and he started he like put his hand down.

there and started like you know rubbing. the area but oh my God he's a. pervert obviously you know we're 15 we. don't know what we're doing he's like. kind of you know being a little. aggressive with it a little hard well my. mom came in from inside and so we like. panicked and like jumped up and then we. looked at his hand and his hand was dyed. blue like his fingers were D Blue from. rubbing my jeans so hard and then it's.

kind of awkward cuz we were only 15 so. we couldn't drive home so then my mom. had to drive him home so that was a. little awkward but after that you know. that was the first time so after that we. got kind of into it and he ended up. riding his bike through a blizzard for. for a few miles uh to come do it wow you. rode a bike through a blizzard to come. dude. that's CRA. I that's a kind of [ __ ] that I'm like.

what but you know we've all done things. to ejaculator to um I don't know what. women do but to or you know to Pretend. We're. ejaculating um wow rud a bike through a. blizzard to come that's unbelievable. well but yeah oh I can Rel the jeans the. pant rubbing dude I remember oh this is.

horrible one of the first time I got so. this girl like there was these two girls. in school when I was in like seventh or. eighth grade and they were like they had. like drank alcohol and smoked cigarettes. and they were like they knew about the. world you know like they' probably like. played with their you know V you know. vaginas or whatever and so my buddy and. I went over there and I'm like dude we. can't go over there dude these girls are.

like real girls like we can't handle. that look we're [ __ ] idiots dude you. know we're eating LIF Savers and stuff. we can't what are we going to do we go. over and this one girl I rubbed on her P. I just remember rubbing on her pants so. hard and she had had uh she was dealing. with a. um menstrual. cycle she was dealing with a menstrual. cycle let it come in or whatever and I. just.

remember just. just I mean rubbing on her like a damn. Genie lamp I mean just. wishing just. wishing and at a certain point you could. see that was like Hey dude this ain't. the time to be using this. lamp so it's just I don't know feel bad. about some things but but but yeah. riding driving through a a blizzard to. ejaculate is insane let's hear more but.

again so yeah and now we're married oh. you're married now well that's. beautiful man God loves and God Lives. that's beautiful wow oh man that's good. thank you so much for telling us that. let's hear another call that came in and. this is about the first time somebody. ever touched your crot because there's. there's you know there's some times in. your life you remember there times in. life you don't first time you went to. Burger King who gives an F dude my mom.

used to work there actually just found. out that this weekend thanks Mom for. waiting your whole life to tell me stuff. about you. um let's hear another call hey Theo uh. man the first time that I got my. genitals touched was uh I was about. 13 I just hit puberty and uh it was my. 60 or 70 year old doctor uh it seemed. like after I hit puberty he would always.

ask my mom to go out in the hallway and. so we can do the whatever and he fill me. up and tell me to do different coughs. and stuff like that so it was definitely. my doctor it sounds like he got molested. buddy and I'm not trying to accuse. anybody I don't know the guy but if you. stand in there and the guy is like I'm. going to hold your penis while you cough. The Star Spangled Banner or whatever. then you you were getting molested. dude you know you.

know if the guy's like I'm going to hold. your penis while you cough the lyric or. you know while you cough the beat to um. Forgot About. Dre then you got. molested you know and it's nothing. personal and I feel sorry about it I I. don't know how else to say it. um but yeah but yeah man you just got to. take care of yourself dude and I hope. you're doing better now and I really do.

hope that man I really do and I love you. man let's hear what else is going. on let's hear another. [Music]. call hey Theo uh this is yavana from. Texas I hey yvana from Texas thank you. for calling I have a very interesting. story for you so so I'm black. right okay and that's fine I know some. uh I know a lot of black folks onward. and I was catting it up with this uh.

white guy right that's like 40ish. minutes away from me and uh so he called. me on Snapchat right so like so like. we're on a call and then he says that if. I was a slave he would buy. me and the worst part about about that. story is that it turned me on a little. bit. so I don't know what are your thoughts.

on that look I mean you know I think. well different things turn different. people on you know I there was a time in. my life where I would put chocolate on. women's back you know and call them. chocolate backs or whatever and that. [ __ ]. would you know make me would you know. turn me on and make me want to just. [ __ ] just really just rattle inside. of them inside of those women um and.

there's um you know I think if he said. if you were I mean this is crazy to be. saying if. he's if he said if you were a slave I. would buy you but then what would he do. would he set you free I think that would. be my. question cuz if not this guy is a sex. trafficker you know so that's where I'm. at I would find out the next chapter of. this book you know how many years a.

slave you know that's what I would find. out because that's some that's some wild. [ __ ] but then I you know I think there's. some people that don't care you know a. lot of some of that stuff it just it's. so far in the past some people are able. to just look past it and they think that. it's it can be okay it can be a. Halloween costume or whatever we had a. Halloween costume one time uh um it was. a mixed couple that showed up to our. door. and they were like in like a slave and. like slave owner role or whatever and.

the and the woman had the guy on a um. leash or. whatever so you know I some people it. might be like a party thing I don't know. what kind of parties there are out there. like if there's like any like um like. Harriet Tubba paloa or whatever I don't. know the kind of stuff that's happening. I I don't know I'm attracted to black. women I think some of them are taller. than me but some of them aren't but um I.

don't know I don't know anything but I. hope you guys are still in love or. whatever if you want to be and I hope. that you. got this isn't funny I hope you got. emancipated if he was willing to do that. because it sounds like you guys are into. some weird [ __ ] um what else do we have. going. on uh here we go we got a call right. [Music]. here hey Theo I needed some help man uh.

I figured you was a guy a call about it. uh so I got a uncle who's who's. handicapped and uh he's in a wheelchair. and I had to carry him in well hopefully. he's in a damn wheelchair hope y y'all. ain't just dragging him around you know. let's hear more to carry him in to the. house cuz he can't he can't walk or. anything and I touched his Winger a. little bit and I was just I'm trying to. I'm trying to wrap my head around the.

fact you know you know that we made. contact and uh just trying to I just. trying to figure out if I was if I would. y'all y'all didn't make contact you. touched his wiener dude that's what you. just. said you touched his wiener if I go to a. zoo or something and somebody's W. standing there looking at the pandas or. whatever eating popcorn and I touch the. guy's we. it doesn't have anything to do with him. that that guy he's enjoying animals and.

eating uh carbs or whatever I'm the. weird I'm touching the guys if you carry. somebody in let's hear more this is. confusing Uncle who's who's. handicapped and uh he's in a wheelchair. and I had to carry him in to the house. because he can't he can't walk or. anything and I touched his Winger a. little bit and I was just I'm trying to. I'm trying to wrap my head around the. fact you know you know that we make. contact yeah look I now I understand a. little better so you was carrying him.

and you touch his win a little now I'll. say that if you carry him back out and. touch his Wier and he keeps saying hey. Carry Me In Carry Me Out Carry Me In. Carry Me Out Carry Me In carry me out. and then you got to change his changes. pants or whatever then that's that [ __ ]. seems illegal to me dude then you guys. are gay I think so yeah I think if it's. but if once a day you carry him from. here to there or whatever and touches. wiener a little bit b or just mile you. know keep him fired up or whatever about. the next day or whatever I think that's.

fine but if you're carting them all over. until he ecks or whatever then. you to me you are a oh you're a bad. guy and that's what I'll tell you. brother and I'm not judging you because. I don't know you. but you've been touching that guy's. wiener and he's handicapped. and that's the scariest thing about. touching handicap guys winers they can't. stop. you so if you want you could do.

unlimited touches on. it and that's where the devil lives. brother um what else do we have going on. here here we go we got a call right here. I like this man I can already tell by. the. [Music]. tagline hey man this is Cody from. Alabama I just call in to to say hey and. tell you that I appreciate you I listen. to you every day when I'm at work thanks.

Cody man I appreciate you too brother I. appreciate you calling as well and uh. just taking some time to share some of. your life with us man. onward uh I work for a machine shop but. I took some advice that you gave uh when. you had Dave Ramsey on you had suggested. ways of you know making extra money so I. went and bought a pressure washer and. just as expensive as things are now I. got a family I've got three kids and you.

know they're not cheap so I just needed. a an extra way to make some money so I. took your advice and man I'm I'm I'm. cleaning up like I'm I'm getting you. know one or two jobs a weekend now uh so. I just wanted to call in and say thanks. for the advice and I appreciate you you. know everything you do hey man thank you. so much dude I'm going to uh I'm going.

reach out I'm going hire you for a job. dude I got your number I know you called. in here from the hotline uh I'm going. hire you for a job somewhere I I'm sure. I got a friend down there who could use. some pressure washing so I'm going put. another job on your calendar over there. my boy um yeah I appreciate look man. thanks for trying it out I think it's. something it's like you know it's that. next step of how do I become. My Own Boss how do I work for me you. know how am I in control of what I do. and the pressure was just the most.

simple little thing but people don't. want to go out and deal with it you know. I remember when I first moved to Los. Angeles I put up flyers I said I'll come. I'll clean your refrigerator clean your. refrigerator. people people don't want to clean their. refrigerators you know what I'm saying. you think about it you clean your whole. house that [ __ ] is [ __ ] weird in. there and there's some weird things on. the wall there's some damn mustard here. something something sweated on the. [ __ ] glass or plastic in there you.

know I remember doing that. man putting up flyers I [ __ ] get. called people come clean my refrigerator. some lady I went over to her house and. she kept showing me her damn her damn. produce drawer you feel me she was. showing that. b right over there off of damn barington. brother out in Los Angeles but um Amen. brother thank you for I'm going to hit. you up I'm going to email myself right. now so I don't forget I'm going to hit.

you up and hire you for a. gig over there but I appreciate that man. and congrats for you just it's a little. things where you start to take control. of your own life or just trying like. okay well how do I be a boss on myself. you start to learn about yourself some. of it's kind of fascinating I think too. to be brave enough to do that let's take. another call that hit here uh uh just. calling again from Michigan just wanted. to let you know I passed over the month.

Mark. yesterday and I'm uh over a month sober. now let's. go my. dog man that's so cool. dude. wow wow man thank you for sharing that. with me. bro hell oh yeah that's the best thing. about the program dude is when somebody. gets a month or gets a year and you just.

you know that you like you've been there. so you can feel that excitement so much. you know just that feeling that. something new is. possible that feeling that something new. is possible that's the feeling man that. was the feeling I would get when I was. stuck in like addiction or stuck in like. um like mourning over like a. relationship or something and you. finally get that. day that one day where you feel like.

something new is. possible man thank you for sharing man. it's hard to you know I'm almost kind of. stealing your joy here but. uh yeah it just makes me feel so good. man you know because to be a month away. from the pain you were in that's what. makes me feel like. you know it's just so important man it's. like to be a month away from that pain.

you were in you know and I'm not trying. to read your life or anything I don't. know you might have been fine but just. so many times you see guys and you can. feel that just like. that hope in. them that like I'm a month away from the. pain that I was in and I think maybe I. us even think about it for me but it's. something that a lot of us can relate to. in program dog and I'm so proud of you. you bro congratul. freaking relations boy I will eat. somebody's assir dog you feel me better.

be a woman what's. up and uh it's. actually quite great everything's kind. of shaping up I've uh found God I uh. yeah boy the Lord will show up boy when. you put it together the L the I will say. this about the Lord once you do your. [ __ ] he kind of come around BR you know. what I'm saying so so he sometime when. you ain't doing your part he he you know.

the Lord kind of wait you for you to. start a little before he show up I ain't. judging him but that's what the Lord. kind of do. bro I got a whole new meaning in my life. man. and I'm doing it for me. man I just wanted to let you know that. you're an absolute inspiration to me and. many others and keep doing what you're. doing and oh I'm just a [ __ ] guy. no offense if anybody's [ __ ] man I. just am a just a human.

being and you are too man and we're just. trying to be you. know you know and I know it's weird to. connect through a [ __ ] radio or. whatever but I think we're so. like I don't know we're star for. connection I think I don't know maybe I. am I who knows but I'm just proud of you. man I really am and I can hear hearing. your voice bro that you're proud of. you and I think that's what I think.

really makes me feel. something you know just hearing somebody. be proud of themselves just at a. cellular. level to hear somebody man I'm proud of. my you know you don't have to say the. words but we can feel it so that's great. man Amen brother God bless. that what else do we have have. uh let's hear one more about the first. time somebody touched your genitalia.

let's hear it cuz it's such a crazy time. hey Theo uh my name's Holden I'm I live. in New Brunswick Canada Holden thank you. for calling. brother talking about my first time. someone touched my genitalia this is. back in high school I was at a party you. know we drinking and this is the first. time I'm kind of drinking too so I. obviously don't know the consequences. what that does to your genitalia so oh. you don't know the consequences what.

drinking does to your genitalia. understood onward see this pretty girl. and I strike up a conversation and one. thing leads to another and we're in the. bathroom but my little Peter decides not. to work and I'm embarrassed I'm ah this. never happens it oh yeah every now and. then your penis will uh file for. unemployment onward it never happen. never before she's like oh it's okay. it's okay oh we get out everything's. fine go to school the next day my new. nickname baby.

dick and that situation kind of sucked. but we're past it. now yeah we're past it but you just told. everybody about it um but yeah that's. tough dude the I remember when I was a. kid if a girl even tried to touch my. winner I would just say my Winner's. super long I just kept I would repeat. that over and over again almost try to. trick I'm like my winner is super long. my winner is super long my winner is. super long my Winner's super long and. they would touch it I think they didn't. [ __ ] they like one girl I remember.

her pulling like is there more of it it. just doesn't see it doesn't seem like. there's that much more of it and uh so I. think yeah there's a little bit of. reverse psychology there when it comes. to somebody touching your wiener you. know. but um it is what it is man but thank. you for sharing that with us dude and. just oh yeah there's it just it's such a. Time in your. life all right let's uh let's get. finished this episode I want to say.

thank you to everybody that came out in. Idaho in Utah everybody that came out in. England in um Ireland um everybody. that's come out everywhere I think one. of the disappointing Parts about not. doing a lot of solo episodes is not. being able to thank everybody for the. different shows and different weekends. and man I even did a show in New Orleans. and I don't even know when I was on. stage if I thank the people that were. from my hometown for. coming you know some of it's nothing. purposeful you just get you're just.

going I mean you know sometimes you just. don't know what's going on you're just. trying to keep your head above your. shoulders you know. um but I just want to say thank you guys. for bearing with me and um I'm trying to. focus the second half of this. year I want to start some type of a. foundation or something and start to. create create ways to give back to. people or groups or something I don't. know what it is yet and I know we've.

talked about it for a while but um I. just feel it on my heart all the. time you know and I know we all feel. that I have so many people that reach. out they're like I just want to help. people I just want to you know uh and so. yeah I don't know how to start putting. that together what it is and some of it. I think I'm just going to pray about you. know and see what God shares with me um. but yeah just thank you guys for just.

giving me. [Music]. um just a li just a something to. do you know thank you for being a part. of my life and uh let me be a part of. yours I mean. that hi Theo um it's David freand from. Indiana what's up David nice to hear you. call brother Young fella here obviously. it sounds like or a man with a very. young.

vocal box. onward my whole family is a big fan fan. of you they listen to you all the time I. am personally I think you're one of the. funniest guys on the. planet and just keep doing what you do. man God bless and don't ever let anyone. bring you. down okay. byebye SE I love you gang man I. appreciate.

that you. know it's kind of funny it's almost like. it's like a kid like me calling from the. past or. something you know I wonder if that I. mean I believe that's a real person and. obviously it's not me calling from the. past. but I think it's interesting how voices. come in to your life. or and it could as just as well be you. calling from the past imagine if little.

you could call from the past and say hey. man we love you and don't let anything. bring you down man how cool would that. be and maybe sometimes even as humans as. adults we can sit there and we can take. that call you know. if I were to just sit there and kind of. lay by myself in my bed or something may. sound crazy to some people and that's.

fine or sit by myself in my car and just. almost visualize you. know that it's a young me calling let me. play it again for myself. here David freand from Indiana okay. let's not let's not play his name. because that makes it not me but let's. let's play the rest of it my whole. family is a big fan fan of you they. listen to you all all the time I am. personally I think you're one of the. funniest guys on the. planet and just keep doing what you do.

man God bless and don't ever let anyone. bring you. down. okay just a little thought it's just. kind of funny you know if I could sit. there and think if a young me called man. what would he say to the future you know. what would he really. say I don't. know all right let's take one more call. that came in man hey Theo this is your. uh fan and supporter Tommy Gil from Rono.

Virginia Tommy Boy what's going on Cat. Daddy uh I just want to tell you bro you. uh you came back here this past October. and killed it man uh I had a really good. time at your show man I uh I had a blast. dude and and I rock that rat king. t-shirt everywhere I go and people. always ask me B and I tell him look you. up man thank you dude I appreciate that. man my brother has a rat king uh t-shirt.

that he wears sometimes and it's like it. makes my day when he wears it you know. uh you know I know he wears it because. he's proud of me but it just I don't. know there's just something about it. makes me feel. good um anyway that feels seemed a. little bit weird but thank you dude for. for sharing thanks for coming out to. Rowan Oak dude I felt like that was a. tough show kind of to be honest with you. but uh I appreciate you coming out. onward uh I just want to show you. support man I just hit a uh uh.

Alcoholics. Anonymous uh I got a month chip today. it's not the first time but I did do. that today so I'm feeling pretty good. about it man and I just wanted to share. with another person in recovery and. someone who understands cuz some it's a. little lonely out here bud um yeah tell. me. why that's awesome dude I know we had. another call a minute ago about it but.

that's awesome man there's just. something about it bro there's something. about it and thank you so much for. calling and sharing that with me man I'm. sorry it took me a while to get to this. call. um but yeah man there's just something. about it 30 days off of anything bro 30. days off looking at your hands see if. you could do that people can't do 30. days off of. anything so to do 30 days off of. something man it's just so powerful and. it's cuz it's you saying hey I I want to. have a say in how I.

behave you know and there's no judgment. against people that don't do it it's. just because some people don't need to. do it they're fine they're behing fine. but [ __ ] guys like us Tommy other the. girls will be here soon you know what. I'm saying brother that girls are never. coming. Tomy oh man dude I'm so happy for you. I really just. like it makes me it's feels like my.

heart just comes to the top of my. [ __ ] body and smiles or something you. know uh. onward yeah man I hope you're doing well. man uh you know we all got problems but. I. think uh our problems are a little more. manageable when we're not drinking and. we're not uh trying to suppress our. feelings and we can clearly think about. it. listen to that you hear that you hear. what that is right there guys that's a. young man who has a little bit of.

clarity and he's able to see his his. life a little bit. more as when you're like viewing. something like looking out of a. window as opposed to viewing it where. you are um looking out of a. [Music]. drain um and I'm not judging I don't. know what your life was like before tell. me but I just think it's like for all of. us you. know you're not looking from the.

complete bottom up anymore you're. looking out of a window or you know a. third story window or just something you. get a little bit of a view and you can. realize that everything's okay that you. have a. chance man I love you bro I appreciate. you making that call just filling Us in. dude cuz yeah it's moments like this man. that. um make other people think that they can. keep going and me. too you know it makes us all think that. we can keep. going you know.

um because I believe that God picked us. to live out here on this in this life. and I think that that means something. and I don't know what it means yet and. that's okay but there are moments when I. connect with other people like in Little. moments that I almost feel like I find. the meaning of what it means to be alive. you know it feels like I get a little. closer to it every time I make an. important connection with somebody um or. have a moment with somebody not I'm not.

not trying to glorify myself or anything. but just every time there's a moment. where I see two people connect it could. be somebody waiting at the airport you. know as sometimes as you get to some. airports. and you see somebody waiting for their. loved one to get home from military. sometimes they've been in service and. you'll see somebody waiting there with. flowers you'll see a guy waiting for. with flowers for a girl that he cares. about you don't see it that much anymore. when you see it there's like a moment. like that you. know or if somebody's walking with their. kid and the kid looks at you you know.

and you smile or wave at the you know. and you're not a PTO or something you're. a regular guy just happy to wave at a. child you're like oh that me it. just there's little glories like that. little moments like that in life that. make you feel like okay maybe I'm on the. right path. here um anyway sorry to get in all kinds. of [ __ ] today but what do you what do. you expect dude I'm a I'm a [ __ ]. WNBA game goer I'll admit it.

Dad. um but yeah I'm just thank you thank you. guys for being a part of my life we're. going to go out on this show the way. that we come into it baby because we. didn't do it right the on the way in but. we're going to go out right on the way. out baby let Miss slur that T sorry The. Devil said that but he used me to do it. um I love you guys man be good to. yourselves you know how it is baby. Bishop gun dog the way we do.

[Music]. son I'm just sitting on your front porch. wondering how could I be so far from. gang gang. baby and my mind is somewhere else but. when I find it I'll patch up where it's.

been. blown now I'm just FL on thee and I feel. I'm falling like these leaves I must be. [Music]. Corone but. when I'll share this piece of I found I. can feel it in my. bones but it's going to take love you.

guys man. [Music]. little me to set that parking break let. myself. on shine that light on. [Music]. me I tell you my. story sh. know. me and I will find a song sing it just.

for. you you guys be good to yourselves baby. praise God man I love y'all and um I'll. see you guys soon and I thank you for. being a part of my life as always the. hotline 98566. 49503 baby gang gang I'm. upstairs for.