Christmas Friends | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #332
today's episode is brought to you by. grey block pizza. 1811 pico boulevard on the way to the. beach in los angeles. gray block get that hitter. and they used to have a big girl bust. they called her clutch. that's what they call her because she. was uh. conceived in a um. standard vehicle you know.
so that's how that works baby. um good to be here man i'm just an. egomaniac with an. inferiority complex. and i'm just trying to come up who is it. come on this is the come up with. eddie 9 v. [Music].
well i just broke up with my baby. [Music].
well i just moved up to lucky street. when the mayor. came and said to me here on the karma. come on. you wanna come up baby come on. and explain to see between you and me we. got so. much love and in chemistry it's gonna. come. well good things keep on coming and. there ain't going to be there you go.
good things that keep on coming and i. ain't. gonna keep on running i'm on the come up. and that is eddie 9v they call them. eddie 9v and people look at eddie and. they say well damn man. and that's eddie 9v.
good to be here man i'm alive you're. alive and uh what's going on. it is hell it's mar it's the end of. march. it's 2021. and a lot of people didn't think this. was gonna happen. and i'm not naming names but. mayans dude so if you know any mayans. out there maya. who they got maya rudolph mayan angelo.
um um. [Music]. there's a couple of mayans out there. still remaining and they don't believe. in the calendar so. must be nice must be nice mayans. to just somebody invite you over and you. say uh well. yeah i don't believe in you know oh. friday doesn't exist so i'm not going to. be there. or somebody says hey come to my birthday. party and they say hey well you know.
the world ended 11 years ago so i'm not. bringing a present. you know that's the most mayan [ __ ] ever. brothers that's so. mayan how is that not a tv show. that's so mayan and we can actually get. to the bottom of what these mayans were. saying. because the mayans i mean whatever. i don't want to give them any more. credit but you know what they did. they sold us short that's what they did.
uh that song again. was called the come up with brighter. days. by eddie 9v and that's a nice tune right. there. and you know um what's going on what's. going on in your world we got a nice. episode for you today. i want to continue to suggest to people. that they send in unique videos and. things that they want us to discuss on. here. uh also on theovan.com is where you can. upload the video. or you can email it to tpwproducer.
at gmail or googlemail.com. right there so um. what's happening well i'm in the uh. original studio baby let's go. so if you need me i'm right here knock. knock who's there. moi baby french me daddy. cause i'm he i look i'm i'm you know.
i'm multi you don't have to be in one. place anymore. when i was young you had to be in one. place. if you wanted to you know if you wanted. to talk to a man who sold matches you. had to go he was only at the match shop. or if you wanted to um see a man about a. you know a cantaloupe or a horse or. anything if you wanted to talk to a uh. you know somebody that sold belts you.
know or outdoor equipment yard seating. then you needed to go to a specific spot. and meet him. but now. people can be anywhere you see how i. just did that. i'm in three spots daddy i'm in three. spots right there if you're looking on. the video. um yeah nice to be here i did some. comedy last night. got up out there at um.
at uh they had a place over in los. angeles it's like between two buildings. and it's. you can hear people you can hear. i'll be honest you can hear gay dudes. swallowing pills right on the other side. of the fence i mean it's uh. you know there's a lot of that kind of. activity you know outdoor. barbiturate use and a lot of men. trying to say they're just buddies but. they're also.
you know one of them as a condom in his. sock so. you know what they call they used to. call it christmas friends. when i was growing up they would refer. if they if they had men. when i was growing up they didn't have. probably maybe 70 or 80 gay men. you know overall okay. and so you know you didn't there wasn't. a lot of. now there's a thousands you know you.
have gay you have gay pride parade you. have. you know gay uh you know you have bath. houses you have. um what do you have you have uh. kathy griffin you have all of the. you know everything you could want you. got um. [Music]. you know you got little you know sex. toys and stuff where you could also do a. little bit of coke off the end of it you. know they got everything that. you know they got man you know every.
you know they got swing sets that uh. vibrate they got everything you could. want for gay culture. now but when i was young they didn't. have that. and sometimes you would see men. being with other men and they called it. christmas friends oh that's. those guys are christmas friends. or they would say oh them boys is uh. you know um they said there's oh those. boys are brothers. you know they tried to trick you if you. were a kid.
and they didn't want you knowing that. gay existed. because that was kind of the time i grew. up in they didn't want everybody knowing. that gay was a. an option there was it was still kind of. under wraps it was. kind of covert you know it was like um. you could it was it was available but it. wasn't readily available. it was like these top shot nba. basketball cards you gotta.
if you're not on the website at a. certain time you're not you're not gonna. get it. and that's kind of how it was with gay. back then. you know it just wasn't readily. available so every now and then you see. men and they and your. your parents would say oh those those. guys are those those guys are unique. brothers. or those guys are cousins you know and. you'd be like well they're cousins. that's. why are they you know wrestling and kind. of kissing in that. you know in the front of that [ __ ] in.
the front of that um. pontiac and nobody had a lot of answers. for you but. anyway that is the come up by eddie 9v. and um what's going on in my life man oh. yeah i got into a new home. and it's kind of like i never. you know i went out of town so i i you. know i'm back here in los angeles for a. week and so i'm like. whoa i literally was leaving the house.
and i was like well who. takes care of the house while i'm gone. you know who why like is is everything. okay i literally looked. i was like hey you guys gonna be okay. and i'm just like talking to the. furniture i just. it was kind of just i don't know i. didn't think about. who was taking care of the home. while because i never owned it.
so now i'm just like okay every you know. i'll open up the cupboard i'm like all. right you guys be good you know. and it's just like a little spice rack. in there or. you know some thyme and some um. uh what else they had in there cinnamon. so um but that's been kind of. interesting just kind of feeling that. out you know. uh can't decide if i want a hat on or. off you know.
you ever feel like that. i get like that sometimes. you know a hat is just a little. apartment for your head really. and that is uh that's legitimate. what's going on yeah a lot of neat stuff. yeah so if you have some cool stuff. sending in. um we're gonna get into some things on. this episode. uh what's happening.
what's happening kind of like what. happened this past we kind of did some. comedy sets. over there that's what i was telling you. about i did some comedy sets over there. in. uh in los angeles. and they had uh. you know it i don't know i got an. argument with this one not an argument. but like. a confrontational moment kind of i guess. um with this one female comedian and she.
uh i don't know i've never seen this. woman. seem like she know has ever had an ounce. of joy. in her being but um. anyway uh she got on me like i didn't. have a mask on. i don't know mascot and here's why. because nobody has them on anymore. that's what i'm saying and i'm not i've. now spent time in nashville i spend time. in los angeles. i don't see them anymore.
people don't gots dumb. and so that's like well you know so she. gets on me and she's like kind of like. oh you don't think. we should be wearing masks you know and. i'm like i just. you know nobody has meanwhile. there is a i don't want to say homeless. guy but a guy who. duh you know this dude is not.
this guy hasn't been in a laundry room i. bet in probably a year and a half. and he's defecating bro. you know what i'm saying making freaking. body rope dog you feel me. you know what i'm saying serving that. booty isthmus you know what i'm saying. bro. this dude is making them freaking dirty. florida's just rolling out of his boot. and so i uh like nine feet away from us.
and this lady's giving me a hard time. so but i stood my ground baby and let my. yappers. shine um. so that was it was a little conversation. it was kind of exciting though. it's kind of exciting um. [Music]. i got to be in a tesla i got to be in a. tesla. and that was interesting because.
i'd never been in there. and it's real. quiet i almost felt like a snail like a. snail like if you're in his little cage. or whatever. um. you know or his butt i don't know what. is that thing a snail has his butt. oh i never even thought about that.
that a snail is just just you know he's. just scooting around with his big. butt behind him really with them apple. bottom jeans. baby and he scoots with the freaking. fur bruh the um snail's got that. freaking. peach on him boo boo you know it he's. got that booty. oh so anyway i got to be in a tesla that. was interesting it yeah it doesn't. feel i like i like.
i like a little gasoline beneath me. i like knowing that if somebody. mishandles a cigarette in the vehicle we. could all die. you know call me old-fashioned that's i. like that. i just like something about it a little. bit. i like when you get in a real classic. vehicle. and a classic vehicle is. you know that's a it's something people.
are basically hoping that. if their grandpa dies he gonna give them. that's what it is and. some of those when you put gasoline in. them. it's like you sit in there that thing my. god i mean you could feel the lord just. it feels like the whole yeah. you sit it feels like the lord's jerking. you off you know.
trying to bust you out at a just a dna. level. just really trying to just get you to. skeet right out of your damn spine baby. you know what i'm saying. um so. yeah so that was it it was it was. interesting to leave. um a house it's just interesting to have. a home. it's kind of scary i guess. i've always kind of thought of myself i.
think is kind of transient a little bit. you know and i kind of like being a. little bit transient i like having the. ability to. go. and to come you know what i'm saying boy. just joking guys jesus man. take care of yourself man um. [Music]. but no i realize that about i like my i. like always having the ability to just. kind of scoot off if i want to.
you know less hooks in the uh in the. fish. and i realized that about myself even. when it comes to anything i always i. like having one foot out the door. i'll be eating at the dinner table but. i'll be damned. if i don't have one of my legs all the. way out the door. or at least hanging out the window or. something i'll at least leave my shoes. over there.
because i got one foot out the door it's. just the way i've always been kind of. you know i think i just don't want to. feel connect. i think sometimes that i don't want to. feel connected man. i want to but. man. you know it's scary how much connection. can. uh how debilitating it can almost be.
how. yeah i mean it's a vulnerable thing just. showing your glue to somebody just. saying hey here's the sticky parts of. who i am does this work for you. um does this work for this. um yeah. it's interesting man it's really.
interesting uh. having something that has a is a form of. commitment for me. is uh is interesting so. uh we got a good a good a good episode i. feel like. and i want to thank uh nick davis a. producer and. um sean uh dugan of it and riley mao. and um colin reiner and everybody who. helps take care of this program so what. we got here.
is i'm having a little bit of that. liquid death baby i didn't know water. could be. i'll be honest with you i didn't know. water could have as much damn. water in it this water has the most. water. per water that i've ever seen man. or been around um we had a lot of people. that submitted. you know we had a young fellow last week. that called in he couldn't decide. a senior quote to leave into his uh.
yearbook. and yearbook man i hope have they. discontinued yearbooks i wonder that. i hope not because. yearbooks was that it was that end of. the year. thing it was the last chance. for you to say what you wanted to say. to that person. hey jennifer i hope you have a great.
summer you got nice. legs you could say and. sign it and then here's the thing you. would close it and give it back to them. so they didn't know immediately where. you signed it. it was almost like a time capsule for. guys who were afraid to say something to. a girl. and now you had all summer you had all. summer to wonder. all dang does jennifer.
know. how i feel about her limbs. it was just different it was a different. time. or you'd write oh tiandra good luck with. the. baby you could write stuff like that. because where i'm from these girls got. embryoed up baby. you know these things man.
i don't know if you've ever been to. embry riddle university but there was no. this was no laughing matter bro these. gals got. embryoed up boy. [ __ ] better have my zygote. they was yelled out baby these girls. um i never will forget i lost a spelling. bee in fifth grade to a pregnant girl. god bless her helena was her name.
named after her grandmother who was also. helena. and uh beautiful girl not really. beautiful but. nice girl with a baby so. you know when i had all you know i had. all these things that she was. cheating or she had a baby in her it's. you know she's running on. you know because god puts an extra. little batch of effort in you when you.
got a baby in you. you got a little brain powder flowing in. your veins because it's but you got to. make a brain. so over the first couple months you got. little pieces of brain rolling through. your body like. tetris and then they meet up in there in. the baby's head. so i'm thinking oh this lucky broad the. spelling bee came right along. you know when she was just kind of uh. zigging that goat you know what i'm.
saying. in that first trimester dog so. i'm thinking every now and then they. would ask her to spell this or spell. that. spell rattlesnake you know spell shiffer. robe. spell panty and right where she was. thinking that a little piece of that. baby brain would get you know. lodged in the back of her you know. throat. and that would help her uh get the word. right. and i lost i i lost on inconvenience i.
remember losing on. but it was a good time man it was the. goodest of times and it was the worst of. times. uh we got some senior quotes that came. in and so i want to get to some of those. um i want to thank everybody for hitting. the hotline 985-664-9503. people had recommendations uh for senior. quotes. all right i want to say originally we. got this call from a man right here.
and we're this this fellow named zachary. and let's get this call uh. so you can remember it he needed a. little help. you know what's up this is zachary from. illinois i'm a senior in high school. this year. and i'm in desperate need of a senior. quote and i thought who better to give. me a senior quote than the theo vaughn. so if you give me a funny one-liner. there you go. and there's zachary right there who. can't think of a sentence for himself. and that's you know that's a male.
problem. you got that sentence impotence dog and. look i've been halfway through a. sentence and i can't get it all the way. up. i'll be honest you know some of you just. like hey i love to. and you can't get it out or why don't we. or oh man i want to. and that happens actuary but we got some. great submissions people really wanted.
to uh. to offer some support for you zach so. let's get a few right here here we go. this is uh from your boy pat right here. let's hear it from white pat. what's up theo and team it's pat from. colorado i got a. suggestion for our boys senior quote. issue. theo i think you'll get behind this one. a little bit business in the front. party in the back four years at this. school and i didn't learn jack. gang gang there you go brother. and i remember doing uh mushrooms one.
time at school. and i remember thinking my shirt was a. snake. because i'd worn a felt made shirt made. out of pool table felt they had a guy in. our town for a while. his wife had died and uh. and so he he was doing uh making shirts. out of felt at a pool table. you know they had a bad batch of pool. tables in this town next to us called. bogalusa louisiana.
someone had made pool tables and the. wood that they used had termites in it. and beautiful tables but they were. disappearing. you know you could barely get halfway. through a game of damn nine ball and. uh one of the legs be missing off of the. thing. you know and now you want one of the. pockets is uphill suddenly. so uh this fella in our town got the. felt off of the tables that green fella. made shirts out of them beautiful. shirts and he marketed it as christmas.
apparel. and um and so i got one man. you know i was lucky enough to cop one. of them there's only probably about 11. or 15. of them and i got one and i remember. eating mushrooms and wearing it at. school when i thought my arm was a snake. and that's one of the side effects of. eating uh. psilocybic mushrooms it'll snake your. arm out. you know what i'm saying you'll be. sitting there in class and next thing. you know.
your arm is eating a white mouth and. you're like damn okay. okay we are we getting vibey today. okay today the science lesson is in my. brain. so i'm you know geeked up and uh so i. excuse myself from the classroom and i. tried to excuse myself from. my arms but you can't do that. so i went into the uh bathroom and i.
stayed in there for about four hours at. school. in the bathroom and because i could. things were a little more manageable in. there. you know you could pee or you could do. the sink. or you could you know you got to meet. everybody if there were kids you didn't. know everybody has to bathroom. and so that was the beauty of being in. there was you got to meet people you. didn't know. but um the weird part was when you'd be. in there and they'd come back to urinate.
for the second time. because on average people would urinate. probably two and a half times during the. day three times. and uh so when you saw some guys for the. second time they would that was a little. weird. because it's easy to kind of understand. why somebody's in the bathroom one time. it's harder to understand. why they're still in the bathroom hours. later when you go back in.
and they're still in there just doing. toilet sink sink sink toilet. sink so but that was high school man. but that's a great senior quote right. there thank you very much little pat. colorado pat dog that mountain. cat pat onward let's hear another one. that came in right here out of someone. hey theo what up it's steve out here in. black mountain north carolina. what's up steve out of black mountain.
and um. and i'll be honest you don't see a lot. of blacks in the mountains dude that's. really. you know a lot of black people i feel. like are more. sea level you know prefer sea level or. we're just above sea level. sea level is also can be i think. dangerous for more african americans but. um anyway brother thank you very much. for calling in man. gang i have a senior quote submission.
for you. everybody wants to contribute. however nobody wants to be contributed. to. therefore the greatest gift you can give. someone is to let them. contribute to you peace. yeah that's a good one man that's a real. thinker right there stevie. and i appreciate you yeah and look i can. relate to that i want to be.
i'm terminally unique i want to be any. way i. i want to be unique to a fault where it. even at my own detriment sometimes i. want to be. it has to be my it has to be unique. to my own detriment um. [Music]. yeah it's hard to be want to be. contributed to to just accept people's. contributions especially if you're used. to handling things yourself. uh and that's a nice gift is to let.
somebody do something for you. you know let somebody love you let. somebody uh hug you. look you know let somebody have your. last caramel baby your last uh. butterscotch daddy. thank you steve that's another great one. you have right there zachary. onward here we go. what up theo this is bonjour uh. maybe i'm coming from croatia too so.
what's up bonjour out of croatia. and that's croatia for you though you. can name somebody anything baby. it's ba i mean it's the damn white. detroit bro. you could name somebody tickle me out my. dog. you know what i'm saying you can name. somebody sturgeon. i mean you could name somebody damn uh. uh motor cross. you'll meet a fellow named motocross. over there by the ocean by that slovak.
uh area onward this is the wrong. approach but i remember i always used to. sign this on people's yearbook as a. quote. uh i just signed your crack now let's. smoke some. i don't know there's my quote thank you. for letting me say that. uh and i love your show theo you're the. man. thank you bonjour and i'm glad you're. letting you guys make videotape over. there and uh. in croatia baby and you'd be good over. there and you guys.
keep doing whatever you got to do baby. to stay alive baby. all right and that is a good quote yeah. if you got a smoke crack i never got to. smoke crack. you know when a lot of people know that. you know i never got to smoke crack in. my life and i've thought about. sometimes i think about you know not. being sober just so i could go smoke it. not crazy but you know we really should. have somebody who is a crackhead or.
addicted to crack for a long time on. here. to talk about that and i would love to. have mike lindell the mic. the my pillow guy you know people don't. know that he was a crack addict. and nothing will uh nobody nobody needs. sleep more than someone who's been on. crack for a few days and so i'm not. shocked really that the man. came out with that uh that head rest. baby. you know what i'm saying that [ __ ].
synthetic goose baby. that rest peace that pillar dog praise. god baby let's hear another one here we. go. onward yo what's up brad king it's uh. dylan from mobile alabama. what's up dylan from mobile. and mobile is a good place to uh. to kind of drink coffee and kind of wish. you were maybe somewhere else let's hear. more. you know that poor city hitter but uh. i think a nice senior quote would be uh.
one of the teachers is having an affair. with students or something like that. you know stir up some [ __ ] before you. leave dude yeah. hey man but uh. shout out to you bro uh [ __ ] funniest. dude in the game. hope you come back down here man i know. he's in biloxi for the dark arts tour. hopefully you come back bro love you. gang gang. gang bro thanks dylan man and yeah i. love uh i got a. uh a sep's stepsister.
named holly that lives over there in. spanish fort alabama. and um i guess i don't know what it is i. think they had. i don't know why spanish ford is what it. is i don't know enough about it but. mobile is getting better the beaches. they're really starting they're doing. all they can to really beach it out. um you know you'll see like a. it's a it's a place you can kind of find. a [ __ ] you could find barbecue. near a palm tree mobile's that weird. it's a weird little uh. it's kind of like a transgender type of.
um. uh like land like you know it's beach. but it's. country but it's sandy but it's um. tropical um. there's like cannon balls like you could. like you know. there's a lot of like vague civil war. gift shops but. you're not really sure what it's for and. they'll have like a seashell in it just. a lot of stuff that doesn't.
you know it's a it's a hodgepodge if you. will. um but if you get lost downtown it's. nice. and i got lost down there and i was. really surprised at how nice it was one. time. but thank you for calling in dylan and. that's another great uh great quote. right there. leave by starting something you know. say just be straight up man mr herbert. ass touched me once. say that.
you know say uh scotty used to bang miss. uh randolph. say you know what i'm saying like yeah. leave a little bit of uh. leave the light on for people hit them. with that [ __ ] motel six in their. crotch you know. say hey miss uh. jerifula. was fine as hell baby okay you know what. i'm saying do a little something i like. your attitude.
start a little something you know. say hey i hid 200 dollars in mr vliet's. honda civic. gang let's go. uh we got one more that came in for you. let's hear it. what up rat king this is brian. calling from california california brian. in california man it's a good place for. somebody to uh. get angry at you about not having a mask.
on while a homeless fella. gives birth to them freaking but you. know them rear body babies dog. only six or seven feet away from you. praise god let's hear more brian. cisco bay area uh i was calling. because you were asking about a high. school senior quote. and a couple came to mind when i was. listening. the first one is from the louisiana bad. boy. the rat king mr theo vaughan think it's.
words to live by. right in there be good to yourself you. probably deserve it. amen if i could go back write those. words. it's much better than whatever i wrote. something stupid that. i thought was funny at the time but you. live by those words and i honestly think. that that's gonna make you happier now. the other quote. probably not school and that's true man. you know it's so funny how many guys i.
i'll run into and. and and women occasionally but mostly. men and. and will just share that back to me say. be good yourself. you know be good to yourself it's hard. isn't it. it's hard brian it's hard to be good to. ourselves. um. and i don't know if it's because we. spend so much time around ourselves i. don't know if it's.
that you got to be tougher on who you. you know. but it's hard it's hard man so thank you. for that well. that well wish baby now let's uh let's. hear the other one. that that's going to make you happier. now the other quote. probably not school appropriate but it. was the clip you played after. the high school senior called in and. some elderly woman was screaming at. somebody. and she said if i want to [ __ ] i can.
[ __ ]. it ain't nobody business but mine. if your school will let you print it. also. good words to live by but that's it man. i hope. i hope this senior can find something. good i would go with the rat king. and uh i hope you be good to yourself. man. you deserve it gang brother thanks brian. i like that second one man i'm gonna. play yours again. if i want to [ __ ] i can [ __ ].
that ain't nobody business but mine yeah. there you go. baby there you go. and we should start a senior yearbook. for actual seniors. that's what it should be somebody should. just make a yearbook. of all the old people in their town and. say this is our senior yearbook. and you go around and get them to sign. it now. you know what i'm saying people be. writing real stuff. you know that would be amazing just to.
get you know. to really get uh to just really just. to capture that last hurrah. and then you compare it or maybe like. our high schools should come back years. later and get a quote later on. you know that's what they should do. but those are great man those are really. nice suggestions for zach. and i think that um the good thing also.
is. that uh we have a montage of other ones. that came in and we'll put that on at. the end of the episode so you guys can. check that out and. and thank you for being a part of this. past weekend and a part of um. a part of our lives here i want to thank. you for that i also want to tell you. right now. about the zebra and about insurance or. insurance. look i got it i got into a home recently. and i was like damn i gotta what if. everything burns down.
you know if you're in an apartment or. you're renting you don't care if. something burns down like who gives a. [ __ ] you probably started the fire. hell a lot of times i'm shocked [ __ ]. didn't burn down. but now every time i leave home i need. to head back home. you know to make sure that the oven. isn't on or. that that you know didn't leave the. heater on there's all the some there's. too many things that could happen. i just worry like is is everything going.
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black. and white yeah you gotta get insured and. be insured well don't get no nasty. insurance. you know sometimes you get that nasty. insurance like you'll call if you get. nasty medical. hey this nasty medical how can we help. you're like oh. my god i fell off the roof man my neck. you know. my my leg is stuck in my my neck. like i we send out all right we're.
saying we're sending somebody over man. we'll send clarence over here like clown. what clarence what. and then clarence shows up man he's in a. ford f-250 bruh. and he got speakers in that [ __ ] and. you he can't even lift you he real small. you know he played point guard bro. but only in jv he real small he can't. even lift your body and you got a bad. leg your legs stuck in your neck. you got our neck leg you got.
neck leg baby. and so damn bro now you gotta [ __ ]. jump up in the back of the truck on your. one good leg and he rides you over there. and he's playing 50 cent the whole time. get him up. get him up but all the. is going down and you're in the back. like oh. damn you bleeding out back there. go shorty it's your birth and you. bleeding out. they got blood dripping out the back of. the truck.
and little clarence trying to get to the. hospital bro but he had to stop for gas. dawg. don't end up with nasty medical. get the good stuff that's all i'm. telling you. speaking of the good stuff man you need. fabulous bro. bit of hypnolitic. you know there's a lot of different uh. opportunities for men to wear clothing.
and unfortunately men have always worn. stuff if you look back through time. even only on the first few pages of the. bible is men naked. and then one of the men kills the other. men. and then at that point they said damn we. got a blouse up. and so what happened was uh clothing. and so what happened was clothing and so. people started getting clothed and now. you got. fabulous man fabulous men.
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now it's available to you. the best activewear at the best prices. at least 20. to 50 percent off retail prices every. time. you shop get free shipping on all orders. over 49. dollars that's right go to fabletics. f a b l e t i c s dot com slash s.com. t-h-e-o for access. to an insane deal. um man i just can never decide if i. should wear a hat or not. ever get like that you leave you put the.
hat on. you try it you're like oh i feel like i. just. i don't like having the hat on so i'm. gonna try the head off i'm gonna try it. backwards and you're like oh am i too. old to have a head on backwards. you know do i look like i'm. you know trying to sell sports equipment. or what's going on and then you. so you go no hat all right how do i do. no hat.
do my hair look okay do i seem decent do. i seem clean i always think that. come on mom would say you look dirty. when i was young you look dirty. all right let's get into a couple of. calls right here that came in. and um as always hotline 985-664-9503. you can submit videos on uh. theovonne.com here we go.
scottsdale kentucky man my little. brother he got me turned. on listening to this past weekend. just anything theo bond you know what. i'm saying. well praise god brother and thank you. for uh. for reaching out from uh stockstill. kentucky. and um and i never been over there. but kentucky i used to do steroids and i. know that uh. that sometimes people have done those.
also in kentucky let's hear more. but he's got a little problem with. smoking the. devil's lettuce you know i used to be. pretty hardcore on all the dope. and uh trying to get him to quit he's. got a good head on his shoulders. but he just paints it he just can't put. down. the that gum green beans i mean i don't. know. i've told him everything tells him been. his buddy. i don't really know what to do i think.
if the theo vaughn. called this little son [ __ ] he says hey. man. put smoking the dope it's killing your. brain cells. he might actually quit i don't well look. man. i'm going to tell you this i appreciate. you i think it's nice that you care. enough about your brother to care about. what he's doing. you know when it's hard at some ages. because some ages people gonna. blow their lungs out or blow their liver. out or bloat a dick out even sometimes. if they'd being nasty or whatever.
or they got aids or anything like that. or getting aids. but um. you know i mean. weed is a tough one weed is a tough one. because you know sometimes people just. have to run their course with it. and it's safer it's better than other. drugs. you know it's better than somebody doing. a bunch of heroin or a bunch of um.
you know cocaine or crack it's better. than that in the sense that it's. you know they're more calmer and that's. nice. but yeah as sometimes you want to get. them off it sometimes you can lose a. sibling or a friend. and they get real depthed up into the. weed and they like a damn swamp it's. like talking to. they so plan it out you know all they're. doing is just kind of sitting there like. a plant they kind of become what they. smoke. they sit in there and they kind of are.
unique but they're really just a [ __ ]. plant. and they want water and then they uh. you know they um. and that's it man they just want some. water because they're so high. so i think here's one thing that i'd use. to help quit i just quit i quit smoking. cigarettes you know about almost a year. ago now. dude actually in april it'll be a year. wow. and the thing that helped me quit.
i was in kauai man kauai hawaii. and a man i met a man by a smoothie shop. and he was a shaman. you know he was off work smoothie guy. shaman guy. and next thing you know him him and his. old lady got me back at their joint they. got out of you know kind of a low-key. child care kind of center also but they. smoke they have dmt over there.
and they had that five meow dmt. that smoky treat baby that brain. smoothie you know what i'm talking about. that [ __ ] turn your whole life into a. damn skill crane baby in the claw the. lord comes out. and just picks things out of you that he. don't want to be there anymore. and one of the things that. the lord's mighty arm picked right out. of me was my desire to smoke cigarettes. because dmt i find it'll put the wheels. on your wants.
sometimes your very core has once inside. of it. it has things it wants to do. and if they just don't they don't have. the wheels it don't have the downhill. they don't have the gradient but that. dmt will get in there and do that dirty. work. you know it'll tickle your sister but. buy her a house you know what i'm saying. it does the things that you can't really. you don't want to do and that's what it. did for me man it got inside of me and.
i went from literally each day i'd be in. my head like okay am i gonna and i. wasn't a heavy smoker. but i'd smoke a couple at night. and i had a crutch i would smoke when i. didn't want to. that was it i would smoke when i didn't. want to. and anytime i had a problem or an. uncertainty. or a non-surety. or anything i would just i would go.
smoke it became my god in a weird way. when i had a question a worry a thought. a concern. or a positive feeling let's smoke let's. smoke oh let's celebrate let's smoke oh. damn. bummer let's smoke it became where i. went when i had a feeling of any sort. so it was so nice when it disappeared i. mean literally. it just that that that five course meal. baby that five meow.
dmt just took it completely out of my. my history. and so that's what i think that that. kind of stuff can do is that uh it's the. librarian. inside of you that we all need. so i don't know if that helps to suggest. your brother smoke dmt to quit smoking. weed but. but also i think he has you have to want. it. that's what i'm saying i think he puts. the wheels on your wants. so if he wants it it can happen if he.
don't wants it then. i think it it won't happen it has to be. a want that's been ha. that's been occurring in your background. you know it has to be a want that's just. sitting on the stem of your spine. waiting for. a ride home but you you don't you don't. have the power to make it happen. and that dmt does that dirty work that's. what it does. so i think that um that that's a. possibility but sometimes you got to let. people run their course with drugs.
so but i'm sorry i just think i think. overall it's just nice that you care. what's going on with your brother at all. you know. and i think i think things are okay in. moderation if he can handle it. uh but if he wants to quit and he can't. then that's when i think that um that. dmt could be an answer. for and could possibly save y'all's. brothership. so all right we had we had uh we had.
this video come in right here. um thank you guys for submitting this. from uh tick tock. let's go my number one requested thing. to cook. catfish coupon i'm hydrated i'm. motivated. let's get it dude okay and here you got. a man this is a real. this is like an indoor outdoor man and. this man is like a chef let's hear more. of this and this guy i see the louisiana. flag in the background. he's a louisiana guy let's hear it again. my number one requested thing to cook.
catfish coubion i'm hydrated i'm. motivated. let's get it dude we got a half a cup of. butter. half a cup of flour we're making a blind. colored root let's get it dude. holy trinity and some garlic you got. your onions sweating down. you're here with your vegetable juice. and your homemade seafood stuff. you got into a rolling ball add your. stewed tomatoes and your tomato paste. bay leaves green olives fresh lemons.
add the creole seasoning you like a. little two-step. we let it simmer for 25 minutes and. while we wait. we hydrate that's alcoholic parsley. green onions. pull out your lemons your bay leaves and. lay down your beautiful louisiana blue. cat. at this point don't stir just sink them. down. yeah you can't see the video but he's. literally pushing pieces of blue cat. down into the um. into the sauce with a boat or.
amen catfish could be on a cracker. that's money dude. there you go and so this is a man this. is a louisiana type man. you see something this dude got an eight. ball of lorry seasoning in his pocket. bro you know what i'm saying. this dude this dude will boil your. sister's tits right here. this dude will straight up boil your. sister's tits man he's about that life.
bruh. he's about that fire that [ __ ] uh tit. right off the bone life dog that's who. he is bro. this is the kind of dude he'll invite. you over for a hot tub you realize you. in the hot tub next thing you know what. onion goes by. a lemon or artichoke goes by and you. realize you about to be lunch boy. you know i'm saying this dude has. alternate plans. uh what i love about this guy he's one. of those type of guys you see in. louisiana he's v he's. every neighborhood has this guy and you.
need this guy this dude is the chef. by the week he works at the chase bank. or he works over there at whitney bank. or reggione's bank or whatever but on. suddenly the weekend hits. and he's dude you know what i'm saying. he's [ __ ] he got the bunsen burner. and he's grilling uh. you know he'll have a damn uh a. cigarette lighter and be. cooking up a piece of damn crab meat. with it you know. they get wild like that guys like this.
and if you notice he uses all the vowels. in louisiana they got a lot of extra. vowels. you know you got a e i o u. e r. [Music]. [Music]. yeah this the kind of dude asked for a. spice rack and a divorce settlement kind.
of guy. you know this guy this the kind of guy. he only have one. uh hand because he probably was doing a. boil one time and he dropped one of his. um. he dropped his car keys in at a boil and. he reached in for him on accident. reflexing. he did a you know he just had a. reflection and. now he only got one hand but it still. works so he's you know. he's thankful to god brian all the swamp. gods so. yeah man this is a good talk thanks for.
sending this in uh. and i will say this the food looks. absolutely amazing. and i would try i i might have to try. this. dustin uh poirier this looked like. somebody. this guy looked like he's probably in. dustin poirier's family or from his. neighborhood. and i would guarantee that so that's a. little bit of louisiana fire right there. all right let's take another call that. came in right here man as always.
985-664-9503. hey theo this is chad from chicago. hey man listen i'm sitting here driving. home from work. and i'm trying to figure out the answer. to this question somebody asked me. and they asked me do you think you own. the clothes. that you're gonna die in not the clothes. that you're gonna be buried in the ones. where. when the when the grizzly bear eats you. what clothes are you wearing. and uh i don't know i don't know if i.
if i do or i don't know if i want to. know if i do. uh but i'd love to hear your thoughts i. mean i don't wear a lot of clothes. anyway okay well the end part that's. really. that's getting personal i think brother. but. well let me think do you. that's a good question what clothes you. want to you know. head on out in what's that last. hero for you for your body.
you know when do you get you know. because you got to give up the cage. sometimes. i realized more and more recently that. i'm a bird in a cage man. despite all my rage bro i am still just. a rat in a cage actually that's what the. man said but. um i realized that my body is just a. thing that i'm in. i'm i'm in my head i'm.
looking out of my eyes that's where my. spirit is i'm. you know my body is just this kind of. like. it has this color and texture and vibe. to it and. you know i got the rib cage of a damn. large cat really but. you know this is who i am but um. will i have the clothes that i want to. die in. i don't you know with.
it's tough that's yeah cause who you. know they show up they see oh he died in. that. yeah i guess i would you know i have. green eyes i guess i would like to have. like a green shirt on maybe or something. that's blue or gray but. um i don't want to have like somebody. like a. you know like a darren sharp or jersey. or a marshon lattimore jersey on. i guess in chicago maybe it's probably. kind of cool if you die in like an urlak. or jersey that might be kind of cool. um so yeah i get i don't know it's tough.
it's tough to know what's the best thing. to die in and if i own those clothes. already. i guess you have to think of what when. you're gonna die when is your year. you know i don't i go through phases i. go through phases where i feel like i'm. going to be really old and then i go. through a phase where i'm like oh man. you know i hope there's you know is this. thing ever going to show up you know. what i'm saying like when i hear the. doorbell i'm like oh maybe it's the. grim reaper uh so yeah that's a good.
question man do i have those clothes. i i i you know what i think i do. because i i don't wear a lot of. different stuff i'm pretty minimal when. it comes to that. you know i'm not like brennan schaub he. has to get like a new. you know a [ __ ] new bat skin hat. every time he goes to. um toledo or something so i don't i. don't need all that. i'm a little bit more simplistic uh so i. bet i probably do have it man but thank. you for asking. and making sure i'm okay and if i have. enough stuff to die in.
um let's take another call that came in. man. and you know what actually all right we. got a single mom submission right here. uh that came in somebody uh came and. somebody recommended this beautiful lady. uh and let's see this video gang. hey this is travis from the bay area. i just want to uh nominate my friend. krista. and her three little hellion kids for.
the single moms. um she's a badass okay sorry it's loud. out here building a bridge. oh damn and it's a bridge worker if you. can't see the video this man working. bridge right here. and a bridge is just a road that's. [ __ ] brave as [ __ ]. dog if i'm honest with you. other roads look at a bridge and be like. damn. i bet he gets all the britches.
you get it bridge [ __ ] um. but yeah man a bridge is just really. it's a [ __ ] robe with some bald baby. gang let's go um but yeah chris. her three kids she's uh put herself. through school. she's put them through hell's sports and. uh she does it all on her own so. if you can at least give her a shout out. or anything uh that'd be awesome. um gang gang theo von you're the man. dude uh watch your show every week. thanks oh thank you and later.
thanks bro well it's nice you to be. thinking about somebody else today man i. appreciate that out of you. and um and thanks yeah let's see if we. can't call christ up and see what's. going on. um okay yeah let's do it. yeah yeah oh what's up krista. can you hear me yeah okay hold on one. second i can't hear you i'm not like a. pervert or anything i just. um this isn't like chat roulette or.
anything i'm just trying to say hey to. you. now i can hear you can you hear me yes. okay how are you today. i am doing well how are you good i don't. want to let you know i'm not like a. weirdo i'm not with the government or. anything but um. i was just calling you because. they had a fella uh this guy. hey this is travis a guy named travis do. you know him. yeah i do know him he's a white guy he. works on a bridge. yeah well he um.
i work on a podcast my name is theo and. i work on a podcast. and he said we do a thing sometimes. where we where we reach out and do. something nice for single moms and he. said oh well i know this lady she's a. single mom and she works really hard and. she has. um you know three great kids and um i. was raised by a single mom so. um yeah every now and th now and then we. just try and like. uh just give back to the community so we. just wanted to give you a thousand bucks. to go do something fun with your kiddos. yeah i'm totally serious so.
we just thought it would be it's just. nice that he thought of you actually you. could tell he must think pretty highly. of you. so my god thank you so much. oh you're really welcome um what do your. kiddos like to do what kind of kids you. got anyway men or women. i got two boys and a little girl. okay you got two boys and a girl yeah. oh that's nice what ages are they nine.
seven and five. oh dang yes. oh my god i can't believe you're even. alive then. yeah that's a lot of pressure yeah my my. siblings we were all two years apart. um so it's like fight club some days. yeah. i bet it is like fight club we should. start recording it. oh especially at bedtime that's funny. where do you work out are you working. today you off today i. am working today i work at um gi.
consultants in reno. oh you all live in reno yes oh yeah. boy i've been over to reno reno's a lot. of aaa meetings a lot of people donating. blood baby let's go. yeah dude i've been to some meetings. over in reno boy. that's a wild place so um have y'all. lived there y'all's whole life. no we just moved here i moved here with. the kids about a year and a half ago.
so i just totally relocated us because. it was getting way too expensive where. we were in santa cruz. oh yeah it gets kind of pricey out there. huh yeah so i just relocated us. on a hope that everything was going to. work out. dang and how do you know travis how do. you know him. travis and i have known each other for. let's see maybe like. eight years yeah we used to. get in trouble together and now we don't. yeah. i think he's always he's always been one.
of my best friends. yeah yeah oh that's cool yeah you could. tell he thinks he must think pretty. highly of you um. it was just sweet um he he he he's. sending a nice little video so you'll be. able to see it if. i if he shares this with you one day but. um. yeah but we don't want to take up a. bunch of your time we just thought that. uh it was just really nice of him. and um yeah i just remember when i was. young if somebody would have reached out. to my mom and just done something. just a little extra sometime just just. maybe take the edge off for a week you.
know. yeah yeah cool. oh so amazing well look give travis a. hug for us when you see him and uh. and um yeah what you gonna go do go do. something fun with the kiddos what do. they like to do. so my little girl likes to do a little. really anything and. everything but the boys are getting real. into baseball so. i'm gonna see maybe i can find them some. basebally to do. or outdoors we're starting to get some. nice weather. yeah that's fun do they play in any of.
those little leagues yet or no. no well my son does junior my older ones. done junior giants because it's the free. one. oh yeah so i've had him doing that. because i'm like well i'm not gonna pay. a bunch of money if you're not into it. i'd rather you not be into it if it's. free. yeah we check out yeah yeah oh nice. yeah those organized sports i think is. fun i think kids really dig that you. know. yeah they're doing really good they are. yeah. yeah my middle one just decided to take.
a break from gymnastics. which thank god it's expensive so he's. tr. he's he's thinking about his life he. said to decide what he wants to do oh. damn that must be nice i was like damn. you're seven. what do you have going on well i don't. know but. i'm 41 and he and i apparently have the. same thing going on so. i can totally relate to that young fella. i'm like you're going to be doing. that for a long time buddy curricular. activity that's all i need you to do.
what do you feel like doing you want to. kick a ball do you want to hit a ball. what do you want to do. yeah i think the less thinking about it. he can do and just the more doing it the. better off he'll be. probably right right um. well uh thanks so much for answering our. call today and uh. yeah my producer nick will follow up. with you and you look lovely and it's. nice to see you today. oh thank you and um and and uh yeah tell. uh tell travis we said hey when you see. him. i will i will okay where's the take care. have a good day. you too thank you so much oh yeah you're.
so welcome y'all have fun. hey send us a picture if you do. something fun with the kiddo send us a. picture no pedo. we ain't pedophiles or nothing with us. regular people perfect i totally will. okay cool totally will okay thank you. have a good day thank you have a good. day. okay bye-bye bye yeah she seemed like a. sweet lady man. yeah i think just a little moment of. reprieve for somebody. you know a moment of reprieve for her to. just be able to think.
you know just to be able to love your. kids without that extra stress. of and i. i'm not saying we're doing a ton we're. not changing anybody's life. but just have a moment man. i don't think when i was a kid if some. man would have come by or a woman. anybody. and i'm sure people do look the the. government does it. you know you can get help and get. assistance and. we got all of that growing up and man it.
just makes me feel. you know it makes me feel. grateful for time really that time gives. you the opportunity to go back and kind. of see what's going on. so um. yeah time gives you the opportunity to.
kind of go back and uh. you know just sew up little tears in. your own story. by using the thread of um. of each other you know in a weird way. and maybe that's selfish to think of it. that way it's not selfish but maybe you. know. everything's selfish in a way but it's. just. you know i don't know it just makes me. feel nice that uh. that you know there'll be a little extra. opportunity for them to do something fun.
together as a family. um and thank you guys for supporting. this past weekend. let's get another call that came in. right here man um. and uh what do we got here. hey theo it's uh mike ambrose calling. from. london ontario uh big mike out of canada. dog. and i don't know what y'all are doing up. there but. [ __ ] if it gets weirder down here bro i.
might come up there and join you fam. let's go pop pop gang. up here in canada i just love listening. your podcast man you do a great job. i mean a lot of emotions every single. episode and you know who doesn't love. that. uh just you know kind of you know maybe. some tip you could help me out with. uh been uh semi uh. professional baseball player for about. you know. four or five years now oh yeah and i. know what you're saying you mean doing.
drugs baby. i feel you baby i used to say stuff like. that i want my semi-pro ball player. people are like oh you're doing drugs so. but go on brother i feel you um before. that you know went to college did the. whole thing. um especially being from canada it was. tough. you know going over the states to play. ball i lived in australia for two years. time of my life but now you know oh yeah. and lived in australia is obviously.
another term for doing drugs. um so i feel you baby the code language. daddy. you know what i'm saying uh. spending time at grandma's house i know. what you're saying baby let's hear it. i just this past december on. the 12th had a beautiful baby girl okay. you got that offspring now baby. you got that offspring now you got. something to worry about now you got a. real rock to smoke daddy let's hear it.
and uh she's been you know absolutely. amazing but i think it's time to. you know now you know turn the page and. start that family life i just wanted to. know uh. your thoughts you think i should just. keep it keep it buzzing or should i uh. you know sting it and hang out with the. two ladies of my life uh. keep it buzzing what are you talking. about son. okay you live in canada brother. it ain't but you know what i'm saying. the buzzing.
it ain't that insane you know what i'm. saying. what i mean you know as crazy as it gets. is kind of ice cream you know what i'm. saying like let's don't be. uh you can't keep it what are you gonna. do you have a child now. what do you mean you're gonna keep it. buzzing what are you gonna do. you're gonna keep playing pro ball daddy. you're gonna keep smoking rock. huh you're gonna keep using. you're gonna take care of your wife and. kid man. if it's your wife i don't know you.
didn't say he wasn't married up or you. guys. it was nuptialed up you know. and maybe the dope haze has been too. heavy in your daddy. but i believe that it's time yeah if you. got something living that came out of. your wiener you got to take. you got to take care of it baby you know. and i love you mike and i feel like. you know i don't want to be the one to. you know. serve you the cold [ __ ] baby.
you know but consider me that freaking. um that matrix dick. you know what i'm saying i'm that head. waiter baby and i'm serving you that. cold [ __ ] a truth dog. and the truth is yeah there's no. you know you gotta you gotta settle you. gotta tighten it up. you can't be sleeping in your car doing. canadian drugs. even though they're cheaper um. you know when you get them direct you.
know we don't have to go through a big. pharma but. anyway man um yeah i wish you the best. of luck brother i really do. and i hope you definitely you know you. get it figured out up there praise god. baby. okay let's take another call here here. we go. hey theo this is scott again from. tennessee. what's up scott and um. thank you for calling brother from. tennessee man. and that is a unique state it's a very. long state.
it's basically that sideways florida. baby let's hear it. and i'm out here in virginia okay so now. you move to somewhere. okay all right scott working on the. storm crew. you know taking care of all these. hangers and all these dangerous limbs. after storms. okay so you out there on that limb track. and you out there checking lean wood. baby i feel you. and reaching for lean wood baby gang. and i just wanted to call and ask.
about how i could help my girlfriend. trust me more while i'm out here we have. a lot of issues with that she always. thinks i'm not drinking with the guys. when i'm really just at the hotel. and i just wanted to ask what you. thought i could do. to make her feel better without audrey. thank you very much gang gang. gang baby and thank you for reaching out. man. and look we all know you're out drinking. with the guys scotty and that's fine.
nobody's you know. nobody's mad at you or anything like. that but yeah you got to make sure that. your wife is. content because they will steal stuff. while you're gone and they will. a lot of them will even do arson now. there's a lot of mexican women and a lot. of women in um. um new mexico. doing arson and anyway. the bottom line here i'm seeing is um.
i mean first of all if you're in a tree. every day and you out there. hunting uh limbs and stuff chisel a. little note to the la you know. scotty loves you know teresa or whatever. scotty loves dying and put it in the. wood man chisel it in there. leave that advertisement out there snap. her a photo send her that. say here i just chiseled this into the. side of a you know. a birch out here. outside of a roanoke or whatever.
or virginia beach baby you know what i'm. saying you could do stuff like that. when you get back to the hotel center. that picture right here i am right here. about an ice maker about a hampton inn. baby i'm chill. and so is this machine you know cute. little things like that. but yeah some of it it's interesting. sometimes we'll use jealousy also to. express that we care it could just be. her saying look i care but i'm afraid to.
just say it like that instead i do. jealousy. or i do you know trust you know they. don't. they don't trust you. but it's hard man getting somebody's. trust. you know i've never been real good at it. man. you know sometimes i think i don't know. if i want people to trust me in a weird. way.
because trust you have to have a trust. means there's a connection. trust means trust is. there's responsibility. you know trust is just that damn. condiment. you know on that responsibility bun baby. and so yeah if you got trust with. somebody you're going to be that's a. lifetime. you know it's a that's an ongoing. commitment that we're going to behave a.
certain way and we're going to. communicate a certain way and honor each. other's time and. damn it sounds like a lot. but i think an easy way to see if you. could start man if you're real serious. about it. i've had times in my life i wasn't even. real i would get a girl to trust me but. at the same time be. doing untrustful stuff. being trustful untrustful.
um. so it's tough man but i think yeah. chisel or some [ __ ]. into the tree you know tommy loves robin. or whatever. you know scotty loves vivian you know do. something nice do some cute little. things like that. i think that could definitely help or. get one of those big johnson t-shirts. remember them go look at them on ebay's.
big johnson they got some cute stuff. they make. um and let's take one more call that. came in man. here we go 985-664-9503. and i'm gonna let you know also that uh. the last website i've ever needed. is now theovonne.com and that was made. by a company. called modify. they do great business websites and they. have a new program called the last.
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when you subscribe for your world-class. website again that's modify. with a p-h-m-o-d-i-p-h-y dot com slash. t-h-e-o. support small businesses that do a big. job they've done great for us modify.com. theo. let's hit this hot. line right here here we go.
what's up theo i uh i'm from north. carolina. 16 years old and uh. this morning i just got the news that my. grandpa passed away. oh man i'm sorry bro. i'm sorry about that yeah 16 a lot of. people. you know grandparents are really. i mean they're the damn hamsters of the. uh.
you know of the family in a lot of ways. they. they'll kind of go out on you let's hear. it. and it was really really strange because. i mean just a week ago you know i was. sitting on his couch. you know talking to him but i mean it's. just so sudden. that i mean i really don't even believe. it i mean i haven't even cried or. you know been angry or anything i just. like i can't believe it. but uh yeah i just want to know how you.
deal with. you know death that are just kind of. unexpected and. you know come out of nowhere. well you know thanks for the call man. and death. death is all. it's like hot it's like there's this. force playing hide and go. seek or playing freeze tag and you. didn't even know you're in it you forget.
you're playing this game. of freeze tag with time. and man when it touches you that's. it must be so just to people who when. you get to. that's how it is you know it's like oh. okay. that's my turn uh all right wow. okay i got it this no more i gotta.
and you don't get to pack your things. that's gotta be a wild part. i bet when people first say hey you know. if doctor tells you. you know it's your time it's your turn i. bet i go home and start to pack. just out of habit. you know i'm used to going somewhere or. being somewhere. but uh.
but yeah now it's like you get. you get that call and there's nothing to. pack all you can do is kind of pack. almost as unpacking. you know hopefully you have enough time. to unpack your [ __ ]. to unpack a you know a couple bags of. forgiveness. unpack a few apologies unpack all the.
the fire you've been holding. you gotta unpack it some. you know i don't i was at a my. grandparents didn't really. i don't know my grandmother. wasn't super keen on me and so i didn't. have much of a relationship with her as. i got. into my teens and stuff and. but i've always had a strong affinity. for seniors you know my father was a.
senior. and um and so i've always had a. you know a warm place in my heart for. him and it's interesting that. a lot of older people they kind of. i feel like a little bit they're ready. to go. because after you've done it all after. you've had all the tiramisu you've. wanted and. you've traveled to the places you wanted. to go or were.
brave enough to take on the adventures. you could take on. your shell your body starts to die so. really do you just this. you're almost like when you whenever you. see a firefly inside of a little. lantern or something or like tinkerbell. on. peter pan's when you see it.
the cage the cage dies man. but that hitter baby is that that tanker. dog. that's the part that zips off to. somewhere else. so. your grandpa's probably happy to get out. of that old ass cage i bet. i bet that has to feel pretty freeing.
you know almost like the first time you. get to drive a car when you're. you know in louisiana you could drive. when you're 15 when i was child you. could drive 15 years old. some people hadn't even jerked off their. own body and they were driving. which was crazy you'd ask somebody if. they could bust out and they couldn't. but they could. you know do reverse. you know there's different times but um. anyway man i don't know what i'm telling. i don't know exactly what i'm telling.
you but. yeah you got that tankers left in the. tank. when the tank rusts so really i bet for. your grandfather it's like him it's like. the first time you got to go down the. road and drive yourself. god there's nothing like that just the. freedom you feel like i'm. free i'm free. i'm away from for that you're away from. your parent the first time you venture.
down the street before you get to the. stop sign and you got to turn and make a. decision and [ __ ] it gets scary then but. before that. there's a blood there's a little bit of. space where you're like oh my god. you folks are standing back in the. driveway and they don't know. you know and you're going. he's like wow. i bet that's what it's like man.
it's just you know at that point when. you're young you're getting you know. you're shedding that skin of your. parents constant attent you know uh. nesting over you and um you having to. ask them for a ride or having to walk to. work or do the bus. and now suddenly you live in freelance. so i bet that's what it's like your. grandpa. he's probably in that night you know. he's in that 1984. ford escort in the sky.
and he's listening to some abbey road by. the beatles or some damn nelly. and he's just feeling good bro he's. living. he's living again so i bet there's some. real. i bet he's off on a ride man. so you know maybe do some [ __ ] to honor. and wish him well maybe.
yeah and make the use of the most out of. your cage while you got it. make the most out of your cage while you. got it man. um i think we did pretty good. man i think we did pretty good. you know that's all i got. that's all i got uh.
what a great song that we came in on we. got heather mcmahon is going to be in. this week. beautiful comedian out. of uh new york and atlanta. we're trying to think of unique guests. if you think of somebody unique let us. know. thank you so much for supporting this. podcast. you know i'm grateful to have uh the. opportunity to be here with you every. week. and have continued to do this now for a.
couple years now. and um and the last year has been really. hard but you guys have really been there. for me and we've been there for each. other bro and that's how we do it here. we do our best i feel like to just kind. of keep it going. so i don't think we should stop that you. know. i want to wish everyone a happy early. easter um. you know it's a nice time it's really. usually a beautiful time of year i hope. that springtime is starting to hit.
everyone. i remember going into our easter party. one time they had this lady. that lived by us and she was doing she. was female pedophile actually but the. guys she was seeing were 16 years old. and they were big men they were really. i mean just bigger than regular men i'd. seen these men were these boys were big. and. she would invite them over to do.
learning and stuff. or spelling and they would just do sex. or really drink. or they would spell words like [ __ ]. and um they had an easter party one time. and i wandered in there i was a kid. and i'd sneak over there sometimes and. get that. while they're all smoking cigarettes i'd. get as much cigarette smoke as i could. into my mouth and [ __ ]. and just [ __ ] feel alive bruh. god it made me feel alive and one time i. sprayed mason there i didn't know.
what was going on exactly but i sprayed. a little bit of mace in the air at the. dance party when they were dancing and. you know if maybe 50 seconds later a. minute and 10 seconds later. people crying and pouring milk in their. eyes one guy kept pouring milk in his. eyes i remember. and uh.
you know it's just i don't know it's a. holiday time man i'm excited i'm hoping. to go to baton rouge louisiana and see. my family. and i hope some of you guys get to spend. time with your loved ones. um i'm off jiu jitsu right now for. another week. my ribs heal up i think i have a. fractured rib. uh so i'm just trying to make the most. of the time the down time that i have. um and that's all that's going on with.
me thank you guys for the calls let me. know what's going on with you. thanks for the suggestions for the um. quote for the man. and uh thank you guys for patreon for. supporting this past weekend. and uh and you guys be good to yourself. man. you guys deserve it. this is the come up with eddie 9v. and we'll put that video montage at the. very end guys.
[Music]. again. [Music]. um. [Music].
well. [Music]. well i just got home and now i'm back i. got so many people asking where i'm at. i've been to tennessee. and ohio so. women know i'm on a camera. [Music].
nothing really much. well if you're asking me what i really. wanna do is just come right back make. love to you i'm gonna come up. come on eddie.
[Music]. and right there that's uh they come up. with eddie 9v you guys be good to. yourselves man. y'all deserve it thank you. what's up theo it's jack in indiana here. we got a young man who uh. needs a little help on his senior quote. for his yearbook. uh i'ma let him i'm letting plagiarize. mine real quick so.
my little advice to you if you're gonna. do a senior quote is uh just. keep it short and simple but keep it. slick you know you want something to. make the girls in 10 years be like damn. i wonder what he's up to nowadays man. he's kind of slick you know. so just keep it short and simple give a. little something like i'm the man of the. hour. too sweet to be sour gang hi my name is. kevin i'm from toronto ontario i have. two suggestions my first is from eutheo. which is um an event is like regular. time only more special which i think is. fairly profound and then. my second is one that i used when i was.
in my senior year and that's. andrew santino is a stupid ugly ginger. gang gang. what's going on theo my name's alex i'm. from st. louis missouri i got a suggestion for. zachary's. yearbook quote i think it should be the. classic. goodfellas all my life. growing up i always wanted to be a. gangster. i think that would be pretty cool to put. in the yearbook.
uh hope this makes it on the show thanks. man. what up theo this is ryan minneapolis. mantis baby. uh listen to your episode today. uh about the guy called up about the. yearbook quote my yearbook quote. was of all my friends i am the leader. and a lot of my friends didn't. appreciate that [ __ ] and. uh it didn't go well but i still think.
it's funny. i i still get a kick out of that and i'm. i'm still glad i did it so. to that young buck out there looking for. a quote. do something that uh you know you're. gonna. you're gonna find uh entertaining or. or funny or whatever in the future and. don't worry about your friends because. chances are you're not gonna have those. friends. uh you know 20 years from now whatever. all right. that's it thanks to you love you book.
