China in a Nutshell | This Past Weekend #113

all right check check there we go we're. riding we're riding we're riding Oh. sometimes sometimes life is such an. undertaking isn't it you know you have. those moments you'd be cruising you know. in your life feels good and you're. you're just wearing your life around. your neck like a you know just like a. fox like a fox fur and somebody's like. damn is that a fox around your neck and. you're like nah that's my life you know.

I've got my life so tamed that it just. hangs around my neck like a fox. and then sometimes dude your life is. just a [ __ ] Fraggle. you know even in just an instant man you. can get just so just you know you can. get keyed up irrational fired up. frazzled Fraggle you can get that. Fraggle going I'm here in Shanghai man. this is Fraggle central I mean this.

place you if I don't imagine everything. everything pick something okay that and. then a million other things and all of a. sudden everything happens at one time at. one time it's like the Big Bang but it's. all over and that's what's happened here. in Shanghai China but you got to seize. it. you just got to however it's coming in I. have to seize it you know I have to take.

it you know it's life you know I have to. take it I just have to take it exactly. has it as it comes. I can't I can't adjust how it comes I. can only adjust how it's received. you know c'est la guerre baby and that. means that's French for so is c'est la. vie is life so his life of a silica is. so is war I don't know. [ __ ] the French bruh you know what I'm. saying I mean not a hundred percent. really [ __ ] him but also you know nobody.

really likes him but uh let's go onward. [Music]. I ain't seen home in about a hundred. days almost your mama bleep for my. restless soul and now he made $1 night.

spell but where it's going ain't kill me. yet I still get where I'm bound go. mm-hmm however it comes. [Music]. they can roll right gonna make wrong. feel right. [Music].

most all of my plans slip right through. my hand. me broken on. so it's coming if they'll spiral wasn't. our glance up slay that I'm about an.

hour past minute. I should've put it down omona. but how. [Music]. good man and that's it right there I'm.

making it that's what I'm doing tonight. here and right now whenever this is and. I'm coming to you from Shanghai China. baby think about it China China we're. fish they have you know where a lot of. fish hang out and people catch them you. know I got into China and and I came. here to do some shows and I get into. Shanghai it's nighttime and Shanghai.

imagine you're in a pinball machine and. there are like 24 million balls in there. and you are exhausted and you want to. find something to eat. God in started walking around I couldn't. even there was too much going on there's. like there's they have you know older. people that look young and young that. you know they had a baby that looked. about I mean this baby might have been. 86 this might have been an 86 year old.

baby dude and he's carrying a bunch of. hay on his back and they have you know. people are on rickshaws people aren't. horseback people on each other's backs. you know one guy gave another guy a. couple dollars and he was riding him who. [ __ ] knows I guess however far the. guy could carry him you know that's uh. I've heard of uber this is like ubirr. like hey here's a dollar. you burr you know let's go this is where. I'm going [ __ ] giddy up it's just.

it's magical here it's everything. imagine everything imagine everything. you've ever known and now imagine it's. right here it's China baby anything can. happen. someone and there's so many people like. somebody will sneeze and seven people. will fall out of their mouths and you're. like holy [ __ ] people are traveling via. sneeze now you know Gazoo family it's. just like that so many people so much.

going on and we're staying right here. like in time scrums basically staying on. this place. called nanjing road and is basically. like in the it's yeah it's like The. Times Square of New York so it's. definitely like a touristy area to stay. in but man just so and they try to say. they have everything you ever wanted to. buy even [ __ ] that doesn't exist you. know you could get a you could get a. baby diaper that sorts coins like oh. that maybe just took a [ __ ].

Diddy yeah uh but it's about eleven. hundred nickels worth you know it's like. you could get you could get a you could. get mittens for a cat you know what I'm. saying what's he gonna do with that. except probably just feel trapped really. you know trapped you know feel like he's. in for little bitty traps I mean. anything you want here they got it it's. Shanghai baby. it's absolutely Shanghai they have ever. they could they have you can they have.

you can get soap that will predict the. future imagine that you got to borrow. soap you shining up next thing you know. [ __ ] but our boy you got that crystal. ball action in your dome and you see. yourself maybe getting a job as a. wedding planner or event planner and you. never knew it before and all you did was. crack in to a bar of sunny suds. anything's happened they got it all all. man we took a train took a train over to.

a place called shaman shall Shulman and. and the Train is nice and you going. through the countryside and you see I. can't even. they got all so many a buildings all. look exactly the same a lot of buildings. there's not there's no windows in them. there's no people. there's nothing and apparently like when. you buy a building here you can buy a.

you buy the building that's it you buy. like the walls everything else you put. in and when you leave you can take it. all with you I'm talking everything and. you just see I mean thousands of. buildings like that just sitting off. into the countryside. no wasted space near Shanghai there's. not an inch of wasted space I mean if. you you know like every you know you'll. have a gymnasium then you'll have a.

garden then you'll have a CIMMYT I. shouldn't see any cemeteries so they. must do cremation do they bro you're. dead you're not [ __ ] getting you're. not getting twelve square feet you're. out of your mind but it's just it's. amazing. yeah the train ride was beautiful I even. wrote some notes man just because. there's been so much going on and. there's everything outside there's. everything there's like there's ah you. know they got fancy businessmen come.

here you know and they have did they. have sex tourism sex tourists people. come here looking for sex and do an. exotic sex you know and the kind of. stuff where you know I'm talking certain. to self sex you know I'm saying you'll. somebody will you know trapeze off the. side of a building just land on your. dick or land up in your crotch you know. I'm saying you can have a dude you know. backflip off of a [ __ ] you know you. can have it you can pay a dude forty. dollars backflip out of a treehouse and. landing you ass it's that kind of thing.

it's just sheer magic and they have. everything you want they have flavor. they have edible socks dude you know I'm. saying so you wear your socks all day. next thing you know you break them. [ __ ] off throw them in the skillet. today oh that's [ __ ] foot bacon baby. cut two slices of that and you're in bed. and you're ready for the next day. nothing goes unused here man I realize. how wasteful I am you I saw a man pick. his nose okay and then feed it to a cat.

and that is that is China in a nutshell. for me that's [ __ ] gets in there and. gets out of clean little freaking you. know that baby body orb you know that. little bug wah and then gave that [ __ ]. to a cat nothing is off-limits in China.

you know I'm saying that's. fucking's that dude pulled a little baby. Salsbury [ __ ] a stake out of his. nostril and just fed it to a cat that's. I mean that's damn that's that cat. caviar when you drop in bug bugs into a. feline and that's China and I'm not. saying that to to denounce China or to. or to shame shame I'm saying that it's. just everything is of use there is no. waste here you see somebody spit out of. a window you see a thirsty person just.

catch it in their mouth it's like that. it's teamwork to to the it's and it's. it's really teamwork it's teamwork to. the end everything is used you know. everything is used man it's um it's. remarkable and the people and I can't. tell if the people are rude or friendly. or shy or confused or they just don't. care you know I noticed as an American.

sometimes we go places and uh I'm having. some water I noticed as Americans we go. places and we're so like like it's not. really about you know you know we're. just so worried about ourselves that if. someone doesn't interact if someone. doesn't interact with us it seems like. oh is you know is something wrong with. me do they not like me I think in China. they don't even [ __ ] think about us. they don't care you know they don't not.

care but it's just they're living their. lives man they're just cruising you know. definitely its what is it it's just. baffling you know it's baffling dude but. they have everything here man they got a. hat they can spell check. imagine that dude imagine having a. [ __ ] hat on not being able to spell. but down today on [ __ ]. now you are John Irving now you are.

anyone you want to be michael crichton. shel silverstein you know I'm saying the. giving tree' [ __ ] I got [ __ ] vowels. on my head I got constant it's [ __ ]. dripping off the back of my neck you got. a hat that can. spell check they have imagined every. product that's ever been you know we get. products in America that are made you. know and it's finished it's a finalized. product and it's all attached and all. the advertising dude they got [ __ ] here.

they got a scarf that'll kill your. cousin imagine that you've got that. nasty R cousin because everybody got. that nasty cousin you know the kind of. cousin that will pick his nose show it. to a cat but then can have it for. himself you know I'm saying. he'll just bug up his own throat but now. they got a secret scarf and you give him. that thing you know for Christmas or. Hanukkah or for you know Botswana or.

whatever Kwanzaa sorry you know you give. him that hitter you give him that [ __ ]. neck piece and he's wearing it for two. three weeks you know he's at the bar. he's [ __ ] you know doing whatever. nasty cousins do if you got a nasty. cousin you know what I'm saying he's. probably doing crazy [ __ ] like you know. paintin is you know maybe putting like. uh you know um but what a nasty cousin.

do probably paintin racial slurs on his. legs and stuff and even in hidden have. him pants on but even just knowing that. under his pants he's got all these these. racial slurs under on his legs and what. what a nasty cousin do you know probably. you know when when a parent gives their. baby the bottle and the babies enjoying. the bottle in the other room the nasty. cousins sneak in and have a you know. have about maybe three ounces of that. milk and the baby's only got six ounces. and they got this nasty cousin in their.

[ __ ] swigging down 50% of that leche. coming so now you give him that you give. him that scarf and he thinks it's you. know he thinks it's just a unique scarf. you know he thinks it's that [ __ ] just. tensile for your neck it's that it's. that that year-long tensile you know. it's a year-long tensile for your. [ __ ] neck but then put out suddenly. he's taking a walk and you got a button. at home that one button you press.

that scarf just chokes a [ __ ]. around and that's the kind of [ __ ] they. have here in China man they got. everything you know they got everything. and I'm just trying to feel like how. they communicate they don't it seemed to. me and look this is all my perception. and my you know and I don't have 20/20. perception I got about maybe 17 20 so. but they don't it seem like they don't. communicate much between each other like. in America we're always we're luck you. know we're always coming in we're always.

you know it seems like there's more. communication between us then there is. here here it's just this kind of group. thing that happens there's a line. there's a line for everything there's a. line where you you are in line basically. in China you get in line and then you. stay in line your whole life and then. you die and that's just how it is you. know and even when you die there's like. a line to get into heaven like you know. somebody could die son Ling you know. your boy son Lin could die here you know.

give get bit by a venomous snake and uh. and next thing you know he dies but then. he comes back to life you know four. hours later because the line to get into. heaven was too long. you know reincarnation is backed up yeah. it's bottlenecking over there over at. the you know in the reincarnation portal. it's bumper-to-bumper you know the cops. are doing breathalyzers over there so. it's just uh what else is it like here.

the food I mean because that's something. that we think about is very man they had. a dude on the train. someone the Train and you know were over. there and we're riding and this dude. opened up a sack of straight-up cat I. mean this had to be cat look here it. smelled like cat piss like somebody had. taken you know made sticks out of cat.

piss them CP stackers brah you know it. seemed like it seemed like somebody had. found a way to make a just a long you. know just a long. face hitter out of some straight cat. piss you know a little bit of that. feline juice juice and uh and this man. I've never smelled anything so bad in my. life and do you go to light they have.

all these packet like bro you could get. a [ __ ] gizzard you could get in the. neck of anything Boyd the Chinese Oh eat. the Chinese wheat when I was growing up. you know they had a lot of like a lot of. black my black friends would eat they'd. eat all kind of wild stuff you know hogs. head cheese and more you know they got. kind of you know a lot of cracklins and. things like that that to me were foreign. to me but mang the Chinese do but if you.

if you got your appendix taken out. when you came to after the anesthesia at. the hospital they'd have a [ __ ]. across the room boy you know what I'm. saying some one of your little mandarin. amigos one of your little cantonese. comrades over there just slicing into. that thing you know like george costanza. into a snicker just plating he'd have. your appendix plate it up you get your. tonsils taken out somebody else is. getting a bowl of [ __ ] two chunk meat. soup because that's nothing is wasted.

here and it man it happens fast you have. got to be this is not a city for the. week you have to it take because. anything can happen here man you see you. know it'll be 2 a.m. you're walking on. the street somebody rappelling off the. side of a building dude is that Batman. practice is that a burglary is that a. fireman who just put some anything you. don't and you don't know especially as.

somebody that speaks English you can't. even ask anybody you know you can't even. ask anybody man so it's just I don't. kind of thinking how else to say it it's. just unbelievable all the guys that. brought me out. sent up productions I think they're. called si na Brian sue sue sue who I. think is how you say his last name he's. not even Asian that's. he's um he's an Amsterdam Ian and Mormon.

and uh but it was great man just the. hospitality was beyond anything I mean. I'd come back here so many amazing. people came out you know I met this dude. this beautiful man as he makes waffles. out there and uh inshaa mom and they got. an island out there and this dude is out. there slinging waffles brah. you know I'm saying those are the. straight-up gridlocks pancakes baby and. this dude's out there you know this.

dude's out there you know slinging them. [ __ ] griddle hitters and it just you. know so many people came out people saw. me on Rogen people that just nice people. a lot of people people that are here. teaching English that's the top thing it. seems like and man it was just you know. and they wanted to just tell me a little. bit about the culture and they were. grateful you know a lot of really really. great Americans are over here working. and and and I'm gonna take I'm gonna.

think about them when I'm not here. because sometimes you know you know they. because when we're not around we need. people to think about us sometimes and. and it can be when we're not around. anywhere when we're not around our. family when we're not around our our. friends will not around our country you. know we want to know that people think. about us and I'm gonna think about those. people sometimes but yeah it was magical. it was magical and there's also I know I.

felt a sense of like I didn't feel as. much a sense of like self-importance. here and I know I'm just rambling about. China but look I'm in dang China dude. and I wasn't here last week and now I am. here and it's all here it's about the. greater good there's more of a sense. like your family I feel like people are. more into their family means a lot to. them you know it seemed like people.

their province you know where they're. NER their region very important to them. certain food people would say oh this is. from my area you know or this is food. from you know the Hunan Province you. know our this is food. people were just a lot of cultural pride. it feels more like you're part of like a. country like a thing here like Chinese.

Chinese it's a thing and they are they. have so much history. these people have been here you know I'm. saying if you go if you read Adam and. Eve right and the Bible if you read if. you look back behind the Garden of Eden. there's a there's a million Chinese. people back there hanging out you know. it's like the timeline I mean China. these people have been around here and I.

some part of me I what I felt some part. of me felt like they're from another. planet and not in a bad way they're not. that that just that they do it if. anybody and Joe Rogan was talking about. this if you have if you look at their. writing it looks very like hieroglyphs. it looks like something that I'll. somebody would come from far away and. make for us it's drawings and and it. just seems like secrets you know that. somebody is showing you their writing.

well what's been I'm trying to think. what else has been fascinating here how. everything moves they'll have somebody. walking right they'll have somebody. riding a bike with a child sitting on. the back of the bike not in a seat just. like on the like on a tire cover and I'm. talking like a nine year old and the. parent will be riding the bike forward. the child would be sitting sideways with. their legs hanging right down by the. spokes on their phone completely.

oblivious and completely trusting to the. parent that the parent is navigating a. busy street there are buses there are. motorcycles Vespas scooters there are. cars all of that going on all these. intersections all of it happening and. all of it flows without a hitch. it's it's unbelievable it's almost like. you're in a bloodstream. you're in a bloodstream and it's and it.

is going no matter what it's about. what's important for everyone. we are moving forward so yeah it's more. import it's not like I'm important. that's what we have in America I feel. like I'm important. like I ' important but here it's about. importance the this is what's important. for most of us we all have to move. forward you know and I know a lot of. that sense you know you got that. communist style here but it doesn't feel.

communist. it feels very capitalistic to me you. know PE I mean I've been a Helana and. that's how some Latino people say Havana. and I say Havana you don't say how. uh-huh you know sometimes you meet. somebody that pronounces something to. [ __ ] you know come on man. say it what it is you know people are. like I'm from Miami [ __ ] chief you're. from Miami [ __ ] okay and your parents.

are paying your rent while you're over. there at the U of A over there to you at. the you though you you know I'm saying. people are like oh I'm from you know new. GRC [ __ ] you're from New Jersey you. know that you can't new here say it. sounds like a cheese you're from New. Jersey so it's uh you know it's just. yeah it's just more about what's.

important here the greater good. everybody's moving forward there seem to. be some pride you know some Chinese. pride people definitely excited about. Americans you know there's that there's. excitements about Americans you know so. it's you know I'm trying to think of. what else what else I took a couple. notes here yeah and I use you know write.

notes but there's just been dude it's so. much here it's so much going on you know. we went up in. tallest building in the world you know. got my lady friend out here so we went. up in the tallest building in the world. or the second tallest I don't know it. broke so high like you're looking you're. like in the clouds you can feel a cloud. go like wrapped around the building and. scoot off okay okay there you go. a cloud just right and then going and.

then you're you know you can see. everything it's like you're above birds. it just and not a lot of birds man and. look and that's another thing nothing. goes unused here and I'm saying dude if. a bird lands here it's gonna get [ __ ]. up you know it's gonna be a soup you. know I'm saying this ain't a place for a. lot of bird like in America do birds. mill around think about that in America. birds are taking the day off. I saw a pigeon when Tom thought it was.

dead dude it was [ __ ] on vacation. just laying in the [ __ ] Park like. what the [ __ ] you're on vacation you're. a pigeon dude Birds relics and birds. getting fat Birds complaining Birds. catching the flu in America. bird flu dude here bird a bird doesn't. have time to get sick they'll cut that. dove into a couple of [ __ ] steaks boy. you know I'm saying you'll have it.

do you see somebody with a [ __ ] lip. full of flamengo jerky. it's nothing everything gets used here. we're moving forward as a group you know. there's no but you couldn't complain. here about a bunch of [ __ ] nobody gives. a [ __ ] there's a so many people we are. moving forward it's not about you know. you it's about us and you still see like. a sense of you know people aren't didn't. and these are all my perceptions and I.

might be totally wrong this is just how. I feel and see in this brief experience. in Shanghai our Chung Chung height you. know I don't have you know I'm taking. little bits I'm not getting you know and. I wanted to get off into the countryside. man I had this you know we're on the. train and I had this idea of like. and you're on the training you see like. the man on the bike with the hat and the. the the thing going across his shoulders. and to a bucket on each like a.

teeter-totter on him you know. a bucket of you know perfect balance. balance is key here man everything moves. in succession you can't even I couldn't. explain to you how so much happens in. and nothing it didn't I didn't see an. accident I didn't see him I didn't see. any panic even like that's the thing. they don't there's not a lot of panic. here there's this general sense that. everything is going to happen no matter.

what but yeah it's just been fascinating. man everything's for sale you can get. anything you want here like I said you. know you can get a shirt that uh that. you know you can get a shirt that every. now and then will alum will kind of hug. you you feeling lonely put on that. [ __ ] tank top baby you know I'm. saying you feeling lonely put on that uh.

put on that affectionate sweater and I'm. seeing you could eat anything you want. they got it here do you want extra. kneecaps dude they got him buddy get. them installed plastic surgery out the. yin-yang here you see a dude look like a. [ __ ] triceratops bruh he got his. cousin's [ __ ] you know he borrowed. you know he had a cousin that died in a. fire something took his femurs out and. [ __ ] got him installed and it was you. know straight out his dome there.

anything you want six legs and you want. to [ __ ] silk you got it baby you're a. spider now you can [ __ ] dude anything. you want to happen can happen here they. got it all they got it all and it's just. it doesn't end it doesn't end it all. night and it's safe here's a thing so. safe bro I haven't felt this se the only.

other city that I've felt this safe and. for me with Toronto Toronto you could. fall you could go to sleep in the middle. of the street in Toronto in the middle. of a busy street in downtown Toronto and. the cars would slow down as they went by. you quietly as to not wake you up. like that's how safe it is but you feel. safe here you feel like anything could. happen it's confusing you don't know. what people are saying people sound. angry a lot I don't know just just.

fascinating yeah oh I noticed people. want to they want to engage with you. like you can feel them looking at you. but when you look at them they look away. and it feels like there's a secret in. the air like everybody like there's a. huge secret going on and you don't know. about it but the truth is there is no. secret it's just this it's just this. human kind of fog that just goes in and.

out of the existence just like in and. out like like China is a lung and it's. just constantly just breathing and. expelling and breathing and expelling. this sense of mystery that's in the air. and it's it's fascinating it's. fascinating man if you haven't been to. Shanghai I recommend it if you're. watching on the youtubes this [ __ ] it.

looks French as hell I'm sitting here. I'm in my hotel room and man these. people took care of us you know I got to. stay in just some beautiful here to. marry up I mean the first night I could. officer I went out on the street I. couldn't handle it there's children that. are awake at 2:00 a.m. and all the. little girls here they dress up their. the the young that their daughters. there's a lot of pride when they when. families take their daughters out and. they all let them dress up like. princesses so all the little girls are. princesses I mean you know like in.

America sometimes you'll see a girl. dressed like a prince every little girl. you would see on the street here is is. dressed like a princess. and and and so that was kind of cute. because suddenly you you feel like. you're almost like in Disney World you. know there's this sense of. you know you can when you see children. all the children seem very happy and. that's a that that says a lot for a. culture you know when the children seem. to be you know very happy and they're.

curious you can see the children be very. curious and looking at you and and. there's not a lot of white people here. look I thought there'd be a ton of white. people a lot of Europeans no black. people no joke I saw two there was one. girl I think Erin or Erika that came out. to one of the comedy shows as a comedian. and one other I saw a British black girl. that I believe is British but yeah just. different you know just like what just.

you know fascinating very very very very. very fascinating. so what else skyscrapers everywhere you. can see a skyscraper anywhere you can. see a skyscraper anywhere and it's all. happening at once there's there's just. everything. there's absolutely every nothing is. wasted you know somebody could die. upstairs and two hours are serving ribs.

downstairs and that's life you know it's. about the importance somebody's hungry. somebody died let's figure this out it's. about important you know not important. and I know that's kind of a [ __ ]. cheesy thing but whatever dude life's. cheesy bro life's cheesy dude open your. mouth son you alive open your mouth. taste your tongue what's that brah. Velveeta you know what's that.

that shop chat-up what you got in your. mouth what you got in your mouth so here. I am here I've been this episode also is. brought to you by grey block pizza and. bronx-born pizza. one of them's in Los Angeles and one of. them is in Bend Oregon. this episode is also brought to you by. Ridge wallet Ridge wallet Ridge wallet. dot-com slash Theo th EO & Ridge wallet. has um.

they got this imagine that imagine you. have something stuck on your ass right. and you have to take it off yeah and and. it's some and it's a wallet that's what. it is. you know and it's and it's nice to have. but at the same time you got this big. ass [ __ ] crazy ass wallet in there. you got pictures from the 8th grade you. got pictures you you know girls or guys. used to fake you got pictures of people. you never faked you know which is. awkward if you're still carrying.

pictures from the 8th grade of chicks. you wanted to hook up with and you're in. your 30s now then that is that's not. nostalgia that's illegal bruh okay. empty this [ __ ] out or just get that. Ridge wallet that front pocket carry. it's bulletproof. it's some stain proof you can't stain it. because it's not made of cloth or. anything like that. it's that hard front pocket carry. minimalized minimalize your style put it. in the front pocket ridge wallet calm. slash Theo get that hitter what else man.

we'll get into some calls man let's take. a few calls we got some brick calls we. got some fan lines stuff we're gonna go. over some things I'm happy I'm feeling. fortunate to get this episode off I want. to thank everybody on our patreon we had. a single mom that came out and Shanghai. and I'm gonna get a call from her when. I'm back in the u.s. I'm gonna get a. call this week on the line with her so. we can talk to her beautiful lady. beautiful lady two children one and.

three years old two little girls and and. she took the time off to come out of we. got her tickets and took care of dinner. for her and a friend of hers and man it. was just magical it was magical to be a. part of this scene to come over here and. do stand-up probably say about 30% of. the people that came out were Chinese or. looked Chinese they could have been. white people that dyed their hair and. dyed their skin kind of light-colored I. don't want to you know accuse anybody of.

being Chinese but yeah I went to an AAA. meeting you know we're not supposed to. maybe talk about that but I went to an. AAA meeting I have two years sober and. that is. oh maybe I'll get into that on this. episode I don't know maybe I'll get into. that next week man just so much so much. happening here and and thank you guys so. much for the listenership that Duncan. Trussell episode was crazy guys we have. some so we guess that I'm trying to get.

in right now and if there's a look if. you want to go go hound some guests you. know I'm saying I'm trying to get a. Russell Brand to come in you know I'm. trying to get Amy Schumer's to come in. you know I'm trying to get uh you know. I'm trying to get who else mmm Oh Amanda. Knox you know what I'm saying that. French murderer but she didn't do it so. I'm trying to get every you know I'm. trying to get the dark arts and the and. the light art so I'm trying to get it.

all to happen but if there's somebody. who wants to come on tell them send them. a message on social media say you need. to go you need to go on these days we. make happen what we want to happen you. know for so long especially in Hollywood. I had this idea I'm waiting for these. people to do this for me I'm waiting for. this I'm now I'm not doing that [ __ ]. anymore. I've been reaching out to you know. guests that I think are neat I want to. have come on you know and so I guess I. just I'm feeling empowered man I'm not. wasting this you notice that Chinese.

infusion bra I'm infused dude I got that. green tea in me I'm fired up bra got. that Schezwan I got that Chevron in my. nuts bro my spine you know I'm saying. I'm spraying spice boy papaya papaya I. got mace in my special place dawg you. know what I'm saying and I haven't. masturbated honestly in about 11 days. I'm feeling good about that I'm keyed up. on my own seed right now you can. probably feel an Emmy look I don't even. know what time it is that's another.

thing about China what time is it who. gives a [ __ ] bro keep it moving. keep it going are you doing something do. something you there's not one overweight. I mean there might not be food here but. it's not one overweight person here in. China not that overweight is everything. but there ain't nobody's nobody look if. you got some extra gristle hanging off. of yo yourself somebody will come by. [ __ ] knife and Grill that [ __ ] up you.

can lose weight here but I swear that. one of the reasons they probably do a. lot of plastic surgery is they're. probably cooking a lot of that [ __ ] you. know I'm saying they could probably trim. my nose down a little bit and have a. couple little you know at least make one. scallop they could pull at least one. scallop out a Muhsin out for somebody. but we had some calls that came in I'm. happy to be here with you guys this is. this past weekend I'm gonna be in. Raleigh North Carolina this weekend if.

you know somebody in North Carolina. haven't come out what are they doing. nothing let's change it let's change. that [ __ ] together you know so we can. have them come out and I'm gonna be. there in Raleigh North Carolina where. else I'll be coming up Minneapolis. Minnesota at the Skyway theater Chicago. Illinois and that's selling out pretty. quick August 16th through the 18th. Zanies in Nashville September 14th and. 3rd and 15th and then just for laughs in.

Toronto going get those tickets and come. on and get those hitters and let them. know you got to fill on out there who. you want to see Ghostbusters man I feel. excited today man sometimes I get scared. I get nervous when I feel excited you. know I feel like I get nervous to feel. good you know I feel like I haven't. feeling like this a lot recently man I'm. feeling like you know cuz I've been. working hard in this in this you know. him and stand up for a long time and. like even in the past couple weeks.

things have been going better you know. things have just been having better. opportunities and and I just get nervous. you know and it's not like I don't know. man it's like sometimes you just got to. put on that jacket of I'm I can do this. because nobody knows if you can or can't. nobody knows if you can or can't do. something and you let him know that you. let him know they don't just know I used.

to think that everybody in the world was. thinking how he can't do it he can't do. it and that fueled me it fueled me. because it was like this chip. on my shoulder but it was but in the end. it's like if I show up and I can I don't. leave the judgment up to them I don't. let them decide if they think I can I. think I can I can and man I don't know. what I maybe I'm infected by malum I.

might be Chinese man you know and I got. some Chinese features bro I got some. Chinese features man I got high blood. pressure you know I got kind of lean. eyes my eyes are real lean in the. sockets man they used to make funny when. I was young actually but man it's a. blessing to be here it's a blessing to. be here in China and I would recommend. it if you have consider coming then I. would say continue to consider that you.

can get all tickets at Theo van comm /. tour we got some new gang gang shirts. coming out this week you can get all. that Theo van comm slash store and I. hate saying my name bro Theo VII it's. just let's just let's go to some calls. man you can always hit the hotline nine. eight five six six four nine five zero. three or you can hit the fan line and. those are our live rays fan line video. questions you can submit a video. question and we got a gang of those. today - we're going to get into them.

here we go on a call that came in here. we go and I haven't heard any of these. yet this one says Theo's old friend. let's hear who it is. all right and that's just me not having. the volume on onward what up dude it's. crumble thank you. alright and let's see her who it is. alright and let's hear who it is what up.

dude its krummel hey talking a long time. man Oh crummy crumb boy my boy Robert. Krummel and this guy I knew this. gentleman in high school man old crumb. dick my buddy called him crumb dick all. the time and no real reason he didn't. really have small pieces of food on his. dick or anything like that his last name. was crumble and so just crumb dick. people would call him that. and he's not a bad person not a dick. people it was just like a nickname you.

know I'm gonna saying everybody got that. nickname like we had a dude that had. been in a fire people call him Sparky. bruh you know what I'm saying. everybody's got that crazy nickname you. know we had a dude who uh we had a dude. they called him salty because he used if. he would get scabs and stuff he would um. after gym class when his body would be. real sweaty he would peel his scabs off. and eat them when they were salty and so. everybody has a nickname you know. everybody has something wild we had a.

girl named TIFF and people thought it. was from Tiffany and I asked her mom one. day is it from Tiffany short for short. for Tiffany she said no TIFF like you. know you get in a little into a little. argument with someone I'm like that's an. insane reason to call somebody that so. but anyway go on kromm what's up baby. stumble across your website and he was. doing a podcast and I just gotta. remember in old days and [ __ ] and for.

him to say what's up I know that was all. I'm gonna see how you doing man. at any rate I'm looking back to work. I'll talk to you later brother okay. there you go man I hadn't talked to. crummy right there I'm probably about 15. yes and uh and you probably could have. just hit me up on my regular phone. Robert but I mean that's interesting to. leave that on the hotline but hey that's. how it happens man that's how it happens. good to hear from you bud and I hope. he's going good down there we just have.

this dude in our neighborhood also named. pug and he was straight up 1st of the. month. dude he used to listen to Bone Thugs and. harmony all the time and uh wake up and. and yeah and then one time somebody. invited him over to the house and and. everybody hit on the roof and shot BB. guns at him you know and that was on. Halloween and that was the kind of time. you could do that when you could shoot a. friend you know with a non deadly weapon. and that was Halloween style and we. would call pug over and then gunned him.

down pop pop off the top of the roof. with BB guns with those small metal. hitters bro all right let's hit another. call here the hotline always is nine. eighty five six six four nine five zero. three I didn't tell you that caught that. the song at the beginning of the of the. episode was Bishop gun that was Bishop. gun again I know I keep going to them I. promise I'm gonna listen through the. songs we've had a lot of great. submissions here's the problem with. music people have submitted it can't be. copy written if it's copy written I.

can't use so because they'll they'll. flag us and they'll take our episode. down here we go let's get another call. that came in hey Theo its Andrew from. Illinois what's up Andrew in Illinois. thanks for calling dude let's hear more. wait you saying your regret from not. serving in the military you know you. shouldn't feel like that. I served seven years in the Marines and. thank you for the year service man. Marines boy those boys don't play I. remember I was on some bases I'm doing.

you know some some USO type comedy tours. and you know and all the services do. their thing but man the Marine boys show. up or women and they man I get at. danceOn Marines dude they'd like they're. like the Chinese brother they'll eat. each other if they have to you know I'm. saying you'll see three Marines walk off. for lunch two of them come back it's. like and the third one was oh it was. happy to sacrifice himself dude because. it's about that greater good let's hear. more and I just want to say you know.

you're doing your part and you're. helping us out with coming back home to. a good country you know what I'm saying. like you're giving us laughter. and you know you helping out that. veteran friend with some money whenever. he needs it you know 22 of us are. killing ourselves every day 22 wow man. yeah you know and then as a you know. well thank you for saying some of those. things for one man I do realize that my. job is freedom of speech I mean my job.

is a direct a direct freedom my job is a. direct freedom like you can't do my job. in some countries you know my job is. freedom of speech so people have. legitimately died specifically for not. for me but for my job for my ability to. orate to speak and to speak freely and. so you know I guess maybe that's why.

some of that get feels heavier to me but. I'm sure a lot of men feel that way you. know you feel regret you feel regret you. feel like you weren't you know you. weren't strong enough or you weren't. good enough to do it but I appreciate. you saying that that we can find ways to. do it you can help a friend out you know. it's and that's such as that's such a. harrowing issue that there's so many. veterans are taking their own lives you. know there's a lot of issues there with. that you know there's a lot of issues.

you know a lot of problem we aren't. getting the help that they need. there's a lot of people claiming PTSD. that don't have it and I'm not accusing. people but I may I've just heard too. many cases I've read too many articles. where it's like you know now everybody. just wants that easy right you know they. want that oh yeah PTSD sure you know let. me get that hit and not just and then. it's then it is it takes away from the. pool and the time and the resources that.

are for men that are actually and women. that are suffering from it you know it's. like how do we figure all that out a lot. of the [ __ ] is just that people need to. there needs to be people need to want to. do stuff for themselves like one thing. I've noticed here man and this is. general speaking for sure is that. there's people seem excited about their. jobs it could be a shitty job somebody. has here but they're excited about it.

people seem fired and maybe they're just. excited because I'm a white you know. they look at me and think of money you. know they look at me and think oh well. here's a tourist but there just seem to. be um I don't know America has this. malaise we have this infection that we. don't want to we don't I wonder. sometimes if a country gets so. comfortable sorry my emails on if a. country gets so comfortable does an.

infection get intuitive comfort you know. comfort becomes such an infection. because we adapt you adapt and we've. almost adapted out of the pieces of us. that make being a human exciting you. know we've almost had adapted we've. almost gotten so comfortable sometimes.

in America that we but that we've that. we that there's no I'm trying to think. of what it is it's like we don't care. about where I don't know I feel like I. almost know what I'm saying but then I. don't we've almost it's like we've it's. like it becomes an infection if you get. so comfortable then you don't you know.

there's nothing else you just you lose. the vigor and it becomes an infection. and then generation a generation it goes. down you know it's like we need. something to really make us feel purpose. that's what I'm thinking you feel like. there's no per like I don't know China. feels like they have a purpose you know. there's this vibe in China that I hear. about that they feel like that that they. have inherited the torch of the.

strongest country and they are excited. about that and they are moving forward. with that and it's it's all it's. pro-china here there's no [ __ ]. you come over there trying to make [ __ ]. you feel comfortable from a it's [ __ ]. China you you can't get a citizenship. here do you're from another country you. can't get citizenship here you can be. welcome you can be allowed to stay you. can be granted permissions but and this. is from what I've gathered you can't you. know I'm saying like everybody's all. like you know America sometimes wants to.

be this [ __ ] turnstile and that's. fine but you got to organize that you. know everybody's [ __ ] stylin and. nobody's turning anymore. you know nobody we gotta have some sense. of order and this [ __ ] is about order. over here and and so there's you know I. don't know I mean obviously I'm [ __ ]. I've just turned into a Chinese person. totally giving up on my own country I'm. not saying that but it's definitely been. interesting and it makes me wonder I.

don't know it just makes me think I. guess and feel let's hear the more this. call I'm sorry to keep interrupting your. brother so you know you're you're. looking out and you got his six man so. don't feel bad you know you're doing. your thing I just want to say you know I. appreciate the podcast you're doing. great things okay and going Gang Gang. baby boy gang gang and and yeah we. trying to move it on we're trying to. move it on but I appreciate you saying.

that we had another call in here about. military a procedures saying that you. know that I'm trying to do something to. be a part of something you know wait. another call here about military here we. go they see oh this is to me I was. listening to your podcast about 29 year. old virgin and I had the positive in the. middle of the podcast leave this comment. for you what got me a little triggered. was your remark that dudes in the. military or more guys and ladies that. serve in the military their vote should.

count some more I mean listen right and. that's a comment last week I said that. if you serve the military your vote. should count for more than if you. haven't and I got you triggered let me. hear more my vote should definitely. count some more because I'm a true. badass but unfortunately there's lots of. dummies that are in the military too and. they vote this way that way any other. way who the hell knows I worked with a. ton of them. they were completely [ __ ] I don't. know if I can say the r-word but I said.

it anyway you can say it again it's okay. if you say it to a person that is. [ __ ] or around them or their family. I mean it's not going to go over well. and you're gonna suffer the. repercussions of it but you can say it. it's okay. ohm word and you know look they're just. people like everybody else it's a job we. do don't feel regret for not joining man. it just wasn't your pass you're doing. way better stuff now I sincerely mean. that I love your podcast dude I just. discovered you like maybe a week ago I.

think you're hilarious dude you're now. one of my favorite comedians keep doing. what you're doing and you know I'll keep. doing what I'm doing all right brother. take it easy well it was a nice message. man and thanks for your service you know. and that's a nice thought from inside of. inside of a military mind you know that. they look at us and are grateful for. people that are you know that they don't. hold it against us I guess if we don't.

serve in the military so thanks for. singing some of that man that's you know. cuz I forgot I think a lot of guys feel. like that you know I have a buddy that's. in there and he had a son I think he. just had a son about eight months ago. and and I got another friend over there. and lives in Virginia he's got two. daughters and he's in Moore he's a seal. and and you know he has to go away on. these trips and stuff and it just really. you know I can't imagine what that's.

like and and the women who have to. support you know in whatever they are. the spouse who's not there who's not you. know going on these um you know when you. go out and fight or go out and serve I. don't know what they call it's like it's. not vacation and you know it's like a. fight it's like a vacation but you have. to fight and work so I don't know what. that's called. deployment sorry but but ya know and. just how you just leaving their family. just that separation that's a real thing.

you know it's a real thing and. and I watched all my friends go through. that and it's it's intense and it's it's. intense and it's powerful to see the you. know they're wise both of them are guys. and to see their wives that stay home. and and really learn to be a wife and. you know learn to be a father and a. mother while they're going. it's fascinating man it's pretty. fascinating but uh but thanks for saying. that dude you know thanks for saying. that. and I get you know I yes so you're.

saying there's a lot of idiots in there. they don't deserve it you know you know. what they're starting to do or what I'm. hearing about here first of all in China. they have facial recognition is coming. in hot they're gonna be able to know. everyone at wherever they are everyone. and you think oh really is it going to. be effective do [ __ ] here is effective. they have one app everybody uses. something called WeChat and they use it. for everything use it to text use it to. buy food you pay for your bill you order.

food you order a taxi it's all in one. thing there's no a million hat there's. none of that [ __ ] you can't do Instagram. here I can do it through AT&T through. like a VPN or whatever but I can't. they don't have facebook you can't do it. through their Wi-Fi right so but they. are gonna have a thing soon where you. were gonna have like a score almost like. on black mirror that shows how you are. as a I guess as a person you know that's.

gonna like evaluate you and sometimes I. think we need something like that in. America it's like so that way you know. if somebody is a [ __ ] slug and. they're not doing anything or not. pulling their weight you know and you. know if you are I guess it I guess it's. not more about knowing that somebody. else is it's just it's something that's. like we need something to light our fire. to you know we need like it's just like. it's hard to get a whole country to move. forward it's hard to go onward when you.

have so many anchors that are just. stagnant it's like how do you fix a do. how do you remedy that when there's just. so many [ __ ] Muppets out there you. know just you know drinking each other's. breast milk for fun. yeah it's just how do you remedy that. how do you solve it you know it's like. and we can't help everybody we can help. most people I believe but I don't think. we can help everybody we have this thing. sometimes in Americus like now I guess.

I'm thinking about America because I'm. not in it right now you know me I'll. step outside dude I'll talk about us and. I'll step right outside of the building. and point a finger at you you know so. that's what I'm doing right now and but. it's like we it's just like we're always. trying to help the lowest common. denominator and at us and people like. there should yeah how do you start to. know if people want to help themselves. because there's a lot of people that are. alive they don't even act like they want.

to be it you know and what I'm saying is. dude if that's your case bro check on. out you know comes in to come to China. they do reincarnation here you know I'm. saying check yourself out you could be a. Bambi in an hour. you could be a toad you could be a UH. you know you could be anything you could. be a as you're off you could be whatever. you want but thanks for those calls man. it thinks those are our follow-up calls. from from last week about about military.

should you know and I don't know if that. changes my thoughts really on should. admit you know there's just something. about the fact that if you serve to me. if there were a vote anyway I would be. willing to say well I think that those. people should be allowed to they've. earned a higher ability to vote higher. percentage of vote but then also think. if somebody graduated high school then. they should be able to maybe have a. higher percentage of vote you know it's.

definitely but then maybe that that. maybe that I don't know enough to know. if that ruins the idea of democracy you. know I don't know enough let's hear. another call that came out of the. hotline here we go hey Theo this is. Dylan. I'm not hearing too okay Texas welding. on this gas right oh you up there. welding on a gas line bro well I'm not. smart but that does not sound wise dude. think about that you welding on a gas. line.

brah yeah my homework but uh I'm. listening latest episode and a guy. called in who like getting his dick. sucked twice a day right oh yeah that. man called in he was a contractor he. said he spent in 1500 a week for. somebody to rock his [ __ ] around in her. mouth you know for somebody to frickin. uh vacuum up his bust busts kemon guy. that seemed like a lot of money to me it.

seemed like an addiction to me that's me. judging him but that's what it seemed. like a little bit but let's hear more. he's paying for it so uh I wondered I. mean I agree with what you said seems. like it's working for him and it's. working for these ladies so I was. thinking you try not to masturbate yup. and I think I got 11 days right now man. and that's another reason why I'm. feeling nutty. you know I'm feat I feel like I got. pecans in my stomach boy cuz I got that. nut that thing is built up son you know.

I'm saying I'll stare through a [ __ ]. peach right now I got that shine I got. the yin-yang inside of me boy my dick. will [ __ ] karate kick its way through. a [ __ ] week fence I could do. something right now brah you feel me. I'll pet a dog with my [ __ ] eyelashes. brah I haven't masturbated in 11 days. and not my Chi is like hey I get cheat. up boy they call me Chester cheeto bra.

you know I'm saying I'm cheat I do don't. [ __ ] run through a village brah. I'll run through a village and lick. somebody's [ __ ] neck I'm fired up boy. cuz I got that nut I got that nudie. nudie bruh I got the Lords of garbanzo. beans [ __ ] just stacking up inside of. my [ __ ] nuts let's hear more and when. you're you're like masturbating with.

them with their bodies right so you know. I thought that was interesting I. wondered what what why really if you. don't want to masturbate but uh it's. kind of the same thing he's doing. that he's paying money to have somebody. do it for him and maybe that's hard to. connect with actual people and quite. fine lovers and stop it here you know. getting good starts like today is insert. an awful lot but uh I just wonder why. you were down with that and I wonder you. know how that fit in with you try not to.

jerk off or whatever so uh I love you. [ __ ] man keep your head up thank you man. thanks for the call but you know what I. think I'm okay with prostitution being. legal you know I'm okay. that doesn't mean I'm okay with sex. trafficking I'm not in any of that kind. of [ __ ] but I'm okay with prostitution. being legal I'm okay with it. I think that it serves a purpose I think. there are people that can do it in a.

healthy mindset I think that you know. that I think it's okay now I don't think. addiction anything is super healthy and. I think we all find ways to check out so. we don't have to do stuff you know for. me with masturbation I haven't talked. about this in a while you know and I've. been struggling a lot man over the past. couple months with like you know I'll. get you know I'll be by myself at night.

and I'll say I'll get this you know I'll. get this feeling like I want to do. something you know I want to do. something I don't know if it's bad or. here it is it's not that I want to do. something it's that I feel uncomfortable. and I don't want to feel uncomfortable. so I'll that uncomfort manifests it. wants to get out of my body and it's. like a vulture that just wants to jump. right out of my or just right out of my.

heart and the vulture always wants to do. something bad you know and so I found. myself you know looking at escorts were. thinking about pornography and I haven't. been doing pornography but I'll be. thinking about it you know but then next. thing you know you know get to end up. down some wormhole and then I'm you know. I'm drawing pictures of or something or. you know I'm a man like um you know a. buddy of mine actually this is crazy. this dude. dude he used to make this little recipe.

back in the day you know whenever we. would you know after we met some girls. and you know when you're young a girl. will let you touch her crotch and look. ladies I want to say this on behalf a. lot of the men out there thank you but. it starts to once you touch it after. that you don't really want to touch. anything else except more crotch and so. you're constantly men are constantly. nervous with their hands after that. because the only place they really want. to put their hand is in a crotch and.

they can't do it because you can't just. run around just hide in your hands and. people's crotches you know what I'm. saying the saint's you know and just you. can you know your hand ain't. Punxsutawney Phil you can't say your. hand saw its shadow and then hid in a. woman's crotch that [ __ ] ain't gonna cut. it brought any gonna hold up in court. you're gonna go to jail and you probably. get your hands cut off here in China but. anyhow what I'm getting at here [ __ ]. what am I getting that was this hug. amount Oh hookers and masturbation so.

yes I want to do some of my hands above. I can't remember what I was talking. about I'll go back in time something. will happen I want to do I want to yeah. you know like oh so women once you do. that then after that that's all we want. to do we want to touch more crotch so. anyway a buddy of mine he used to make. this recipe of like he had a couple. different ingredients I have to look. back and remember what it was and it.

would smell like crotch and he would. take it you know a couple of these. ingredients and put them in a little. mixing bowl or whatever and put it in. the microwave or sometimes even put it. in the oven if he was making a little. bit of [ __ ] Christmas cooter you know. what I'm saying and it would smell like. crotch bro it was unbelievable I mean it. was really really neat because you don't. think somebody could just hype it just. do that. you know this man was like a perfume. he's like uh I mean that's the most. French thing I've ever heard of you know. firing up a batch of microwave was--a.

but he would do it he would he would. create this thing and a head that you. know that stench because looking I know. this is vulgar but there's a you know. we're gutter. we are we are that is something that is. in us you know you wanna you know it's. it's it's well it is vulgar its innocent. but it's it's it it's what got us here. is that's you know the scent of of a. woman. the scent of of sex the scent of desire.

the scent of of something that draws you. forward it to scent of anything it can. be you know it can be a flower it can be. any it's it's what draws you it's what. moves you and this man could make that. scent he could make that scent of uh of. crotch and he fire up a batch and we'd. [ __ ] just I mean we didn't hail so. much dude this one boy Jeffery passed. out and we're like damn Jeffery that.

dude could end up being a damn Rock. pieced you know a rapist because if he. you know there's no reason to be. inhaling that fast with a little bit of. scent in the air and you can't even. [ __ ] keep your life in in line you. can't even keep you your act together. but do I see a difference between the. two that that man was doing that and he. was hiring hookers twice a day to blow. him. I see here's all if something if he's. calling me asking me if I think that's. an unhealthy behavior does he really.

just want to ask himself and he's not. giving himself a an honest answer is he. just getting a second opinion does he. already know that it might not be and he. just wants to hear somebody else say it. you know here's the thing I feel like if. you can't stop something then it's an. unhealthy behavior that's what I think. if it controls you if you're not in. control dude and what the [ __ ] and I'm. not saying that at you brother I'm just.

saying that you know that's when it's. unhealthy and for me you know. masturbation has not been and watching. pornography over the years has been an. unhealthy tool for me it started out. unhealthy you know it you know I got a. lot of it confused with you know where. my troubles still struggle these days is. you know if I get in love you know I. have problems with sex. because there's just a lot of confusion. in there there's a lot of uncomfort you.

know in uh and so that's a place where I. still battle with and that's really you. know I mean I'm still seeing some. therapist about that and that's a place. where I still need to honestly to do a. lot of work in those areas and and it's. tough it's tough because you know what. the worst part is for me and I know you. didn't ask about a lot of this I don't. think but I'm just kind of rambling I. mean hell I'm in China dude so I can be. different over here if I want to or even.

not even be different I don't know if I. am but uh but you know the hard part is. is wanting to do that work you know. wanting to get better when you know that. something is wrong and look if you guys. are saying look man if you jerk off once. in a while there's nothing wrong with. you that's true. but that's not what my thing is my thing. is that over the years I would look at. pornography and any time I had to. interact with a woman in a real scenario.

a lot of times instead of doing that I. would just go masturbate or look at. pornography it would kill off the desire. to then go meet with a girl or take a. girl out on a date or do anything really. a lot of times and so then that became. just a unhealthy pattern for me and it. also was a protector because it's like. oh I don't have to go talk to it you. know I don't have to take any risk of. actually falling in love or any risk of. putting myself out there into it into. another person's heart because I'm gonna.

kill that I'm gonna cut that risk. right off here at the pass at the. emotional [ __ ] pass I'm gonna cut. that risk off my shutting my [ __ ] by. physically stopping the desire because. your emotions they a lot of this your. emotions and your physicality of works. in conjunction you know I mean you know. your nuts are connected straight to your. heart and so you got a [ __ ] fine too. you know you got to be carefully you. can't be just be playing those harp.

those chords all night you know you. can't be just busting some [ __ ] sea. flats on those nut heart strings you. you got to be careful and you got to. keep them tuned because otherwise you. can get caught up and that's why that's. where I've been and that's how a lot of. the dark arts started for me it was. being out there I appreciate your. calling having me think about this let's. go to one of our live rays fan line. questions you can submit those on live. rays get live rays the app is free it's. free to submit the fan lines and these.

are videos so you can see these on. YouTube as well if you're watching on. YouTube subscribe hit the subscribe. button don't be a pervert man your. pervert your watching some dude on. YouTube and you're not subscribed. brother who the [ __ ] are you who the. [ __ ] are you let's hear it. thanks for calling in James from. Monterey that's John Steinbeck country. and John Steinbeck was up there [ __ ]. with anchovies and writing let's hear. more I'm a security guard and hell yeah.

boy dude I used to have this sketch I. want to do about an insecurity guard and. it was just like oh he was just hiding. in the like hiding behind like a debt. you know like a like hiding in an alley. behind a dumpster just hoping nothing. bad was happening and in security guard. you get it okay that was stupid homework. hey I caught a fugitive that was wanted. by the federal marshals I was wondering. if you've done anything heroic that you.

were really proud of gave me caught a. fugitive dude that's awesome a fugitive. sounds like pretty much the fanciest. criminal you can be some criminals are. like hey man I stole this I'm a thief. and some of them then have been then a. big dog rolls up and he goes you a thief. [ __ ] I'm a fugitive. oh [ __ ] Here Come a couple of fugitives. um have ever done anything heroic you.

know what mice it when I had uh I found. two fingers in the woods one time when I. was young somebody cut off their fingers. here with um some you know with a sling. laid or with a cops I'm [ __ ] all the. cars I'm late. no with a I don't know a sword or. something I don't know. we found two fingers a peace sign me and. one of my buddies and we gave it to the. police that's not heroic one night I was.

trying to get a [ __ ] from this girl. that was on the swim team and um and we. didn't say she was on the swim team. because she gave [ __ ] that'd be. funny you know if a girl gave you a. [ __ ] or even a guy and he like. swallowed all the time people are like. you know they're on the swim team Wow a. lot of bad jokes here in China tonight. but the thing was this the thing was. this oh so oh you know I heard you know.

everybody heard that she gave [ __ ]. and that was the kind of dude as soon as. somebody gave one [ __ ]. you heard it I mean that was you know it. was like Paul Revere you know I mean it. was it was that kind of style so anyway. I took her out to this boat dock I. picked her up one night and I'd stolen. my mom's car and I went and picked her. up and man we were out there I put on. some Travis Tritt or something or some. you know maybe a little bit of a George. Strait or some just whatever the it was.

they used to have this this thing on the. radio is called crying loving or leaving. and you would put it on the radio and. they would just play country music and. people could call in and make requests. anyhow me and this girl put on some. country music we're out there slow dance. and breath and we got the wind and we're. out by this huge boat launch it's like. um this was in Madisonville Louisiana. and they got this huge boat launch and. we're the only car out there and uh and.

suddenly a car and we're out there slow. dance and doing this girl had some. [ __ ] hips on her bra she was built. like a [ __ ] barrel with small tits. and I'm just like man all I'm thinking. about David I'm so erect bra my dick is. climbing up my ribcage bra that thing. like I'm so erect my dick starts kind of. peeking out at the top of my shirt bra. that's how he erect I was brows fully. erect and that's when you you you could. get so erect your penis could be like 19. inches long sometimes you're like what.

the [ __ ] if one of your legs would. disappear in just your. dick would just grow a foot at the top. of it he knows just crazy times being. young and she and our slow dancing and. suddenly a car goes across the parking. lot. right off the boat launch and it bounced. kind of on the water top and just ended. up out and uh [ __ ] is this audio popping. the whole time Jesus I don't know and it. just went it bounced off the water. because it was probably going about 40. miles an hour right off into the water.

and then it sunk and it sunk probably. about 15 feet away from the shore so now. she and I and this is a huge parking lot. by a boat launch and she and I are the. only people out there there's not it's a. half mile to get to any anything there's. a bar about a half mile away so she and. I jump in my mom's car and ride across. the boat launch right across the parking. lot we pull up parked the car so the.

headlights are facing out on the water. and you can see the car now is. completely submerged in the lake in the. lake pontchartrain. and so she and I run to the end of the. boat dock that's there and we got to get. in I mean this car is underwater you. know you can still see the headlights of. the car that went underwater or near the. top of the water but there's still a. couple feet down and they're still on. the headlights are still on so we're. scared man we're spooked you know we.

spooked up you know we spooked up like a. couple of [ __ ] um you know like a. couple of uh like a couple of frogs you. know like a couple of frogs playing with. fireworks we're scared and and so we get. down to like our skivvies really we got. to get in this water and I'm like art. let's get in and she goes on the count. of three. and I'm thinking like the count of three. [ __ ] somebody's drowning you don't do. 1 2 3 jump in the water on somebody.

drowning you [ __ ] just jump in and. I'm saying the dumbest [ __ ] ever and. this girl was on the swim team this girl. was on the actual swim team not doing. [ __ ] and swallowing she was on the. actual swim team you know and she was. also doing [ __ ] but she was not. that's not why people said that she was. on the. actual team that had a group that went. to other places and swam against other. groups of people that wanted to swim and. so next thing you know she's like one. two I jump on three she doesn't jump now.

I'm in the water by myself I'm swimming. over I get onto the car you know because. you can kind of get on to the now I'm. standing on the top of the car that. submerged underwater and I got to go. down I have to you know I go underwater. hold my breath go underwater the. driver's side window is as open I reach. in the car nobody's in the driver's seat. so I'm like [ __ ] you know somebody you. know they got knocked around or whatever. I go back up get another breath of air.

go down again feel around in the. passenger seat and they had um they had. what I think and this might sound crazy. they had a ham somebody had a seasonal. ham right there you know what you could. get one of those big hams remember they. used to have that show supermarket sweep. and the thing you had to get was the. farmer John hams and things were xxx $32.

and man you see you know you your. teammate would be running around and. this was a game show where two people. would go to a supermarket and they would. run around and get a bunch of [ __ ] into. a cart and they would get money for. doing it was the greatest game show ever. basically one of the greatest games ever. played next to maybe NFL football and. the teammate would always be at the. front by the register yelling get so.

anyway in the passenger seat I swear to. god they had a farmer Jon Hamm right in. there and I touched that thing bro it. was this cold [ __ ] big ham and I. thought it was and and we wrote and. we're talking pitch black I'm underwater. it's nighttime it's nighttime it's 9:30. at night you know and all my but you. know like I'm scared my mommy wrecked. dude and you know you got some meat on. you if you were erect and possibly [ __ ].

possibly could be finding a dead body. and that was that young cat when you had. a young cat boy you'd be erect but you. could be [ __ ] digging graves and. staying erect and uh so anyway I touched. this ham or whatever it was and I think. it was definitely a ham and I got sick I. thought it was a body I thought it was a. shoulder I thought it was a head I. thought it was an ass cheek I thought it. was all of it I thought it was a big. huge knee that was swollen maybe.

somebody broke their knee in the crash. and they had a huge swollen knee that. felt like a ham I thought all this [ __ ]. so I start vomiting just how to fear. just vomiting under water so now I come. back out of the water I get out I can't. hold my breath anymore to go back down. there's somebody in the car I get I swim. out I tell the girl you know who put her. clothes back on what the [ __ ] you're on. the swim team get so now we jump in my. mom's car right and I'm nervous because.

the car seats getting all wet because. I'd still take him on his car she didn't. know I'm a driver's license I'm not. allowed to use her car and I drove up we. drove up we ran to a bar. they had a bar called T rivers and it. might still be there dude is a great. place to get [ __ ] pink I really in. the summer but you don't see that much. and that was a strong strand boy right. off that Tchefuncte River you catch pink. eye in the summer off the Tchefuncte. [ __ ] I mean I'm talking the kind of. pink eye that would make your [ __ ].

throat hurt you know that strong [ __ ]. and and anyway I go I ran inside the bar. I'd never been in there and I'm yelling. there's a car went off a gray car went. off into the water people come out of. the bar about four people in there. probably all alcoholics and because it. was not a night where anybody would. should be out drinking and they all got. in their cars and now they're all drunk. driving back up to the place everybody. gets out in the water now there's like. five people out in the water looking. somebody goes back in the car underwater.

nobody's in there they say they don't. feel anybody I see. cop lights in the distance I get scared. me and my girl you know I'm saying that. swim team er we jump in my mom's car and. I take. and drop her off no [ __ ] and she. actually moved away she moved away to a. different state like about a month later. so that [ __ ] sucked. and it turned out somebody just did the. there was never a body in there somebody. had done it for insurance money they'd.

like you know started the car earlier. and put a brick on it or whatever and. sent it off into the water. so so I was never a hero I was never a. hero and that [ __ ] cost me a blow job. there was somebody trying to catch on. insurance and those are the types of. people that are [ __ ] [ __ ] up in the. world you know those are the type of. people that say oh I'm poor you know. it's not a bad I important I'm gonna get. this surance money I'm gonna get this. hit I'm gonna fake this pts I'm gonna do.

day I'm gonna do dit you know it's like. we need hitters we need we need people. that's moving forward but thank you for. calling on that fan line I stick another. fan line question from our library's fan. line here we go my question is why is it. hard for me why do I get so nervous when. I talk to very pretty girls very. attractive young ladies okay yeah I mean.

why I don't know why you do but I know. why I did bruh because I put him on a. pedestal I didn't stand a chance with. him before I even walked up to them I. thought that just because they were. pretty that they were more than that as. well that they were everything you know. I'd always find the prettiest woman or. the woman that I always felt was the. prettiest since birds my mother you know. she left feelings of rejection inside of. me and I don't even know she did it on. purpose I don't think she did but those.

feelings lived inside of my soul at a. deep level that I couldn't access and. that I still can't but inside of me that. made me feel that the woman that I felt. the cared for the most didn't want me or. didn't care for me so then when I put a. woman on a pedestal and that that woman. even just in just a moment becomes a. woman that I care for the most I can't. can't communicate with them you know I.

feel rejected by them I feel negative I. feel because it was the same that. feeling that's when that feeling it's. inside of me that was left by my. relationship with my mother that's when. that thing kind of surfaces a little bit. because it's the only template I have is. that the woman that I thought was the. most beautiful and always would in my. soul my mother the one we all feel that. way about our mother if they if there's. rejection from them then for me this is.

what I find and when I would put a woman. on a pedestal I would feel that. rejection again you know and I would not. be able to talk to him I would not be. able to have a voice because though the. woman that I cared for the most didn't. allow me to have a voice or didn't. didn't help me express myself and so. therefore women future women that I care.

about I wouldn't be able to express. myself around so that's just for me man. for you I don't know it could be some of. that you sound like a caring guy you. know you called in here to think about. it with me so obviously you're caring. but I think approaching women first have. a friend don't think like I would be. like [ __ ] about to walk over and see if. this [ __ ] wants to be my wife. [ __ ] no you know it's pressure that is. for a woman don't even know and now some. man must Miriam is cuz they're pretty.

that's crazy that's crazy and the last. thing I want to be around my whole life. is a miserable is a girl that's pretty. but it's miserable I don't give a [ __ ]. dude I don't care how pretty you are you. know I'm saying if you're so pretty but. that's all it is now that would be my. worst nightmare I only want to be an. uber pool with that [ __ ] you know but.

uh thanks for calling brother homeward. my name is Alex and I was wondering if. there's any advice you could offer. regarding a loved one who sleeps loud. when I say that I mean he. snores and yells in his sleep at this. point anything helps okay so you got. that loud sleeper you know what I'm. saying. you got that [ __ ] Benjamin Barksdale. you got somebody being loud next to you. while you're trying to sleep first of. all that's insane do you know that. that's an early warning sign of insanity. somebody who when other people are.

trying to sleep is is violent in their. sleep you know I'm saying I was eating. this girl she liked to wake up the. middle the night and catch a [ __ ]. handful of skittles in the FaceCam and. you know she wanted to eat skittles she. could keep a bowl of skittles by the bed. and just drop them a skittles into her. throat out of a dead sleep always. fighting in her sleep sweating it's wild. man it's wild you know Pete they got. some violent sleepers out there they got.

[ __ ] people out there sleeping envy. I'm like damn where you sleeping in. Vietnam come baguette tighten up if he's. allowed shut him down put him in the. other room and I would also try them on. different sides of his body if he's loud. roll him on his side if he's loud again. roll him on the other side he's got four. sides try all four if he's violent maybe. tape his legs together tie his legs. together you know you can also try some.

of that arm. Metamucil you know what I'm saying. Metamucil makes you have to go to the. bathroom and do number twos and if. you're on that Metamucil look you're not. gonna sleep real heavy because your. butthole is gonna be real alert because. dude look man your butthole gets alert. feel like your booty wants to whistle. but then it is it's number twos you're. doing number twos and so that Metamucil. will do that so maybe put them a little. bit of Metamucil but thank you for.

calling there about that loud sleeper. man come on people sleep and [ __ ]. loudly get it together dude get it to. [ __ ] gather you were a loud sleeper. you [ __ ]. how much more selfish could you be. tell them to tighten up baby he tell. them I said it let's take another call. here this from George Davis hey Theo. this is George from Texas man I just. wanted to say thanks for all your. laughter you provide. it's really helping me get through a. tough time right now in my life are you.

welcome George man you know it's the. least I can do man it says my service I. guess you know we're being a part of. this world and thank you for calling in. because this is us this is us man more. man see like a lot of other people I you. know work my ass off and trying to find. a place to buy and move into eventually. and it was a cabin up in southern. Colorado so oh you got that so cold. that's so cold a southern colorado cabin. huh mm-hmm. that sounds good dude I'll let a [ __ ].

carp jump in my just jumping them up one. of those sacks you catch them carp sex. and people catch exotic uh. mountain lions and [ __ ] out there and. you could hunt out there and you could a. lot of weird [ __ ] happen out there. people killing their spouses and stuff. like that people going missing just an. overall real you know people finding. treasure just an overall adventurous. area let's hear more just a good place. to get away from all the stress and. problems that come with living in the. big city but man all that [ __ ] changed.

this weekend when some self-confessed. anarchists just burnt down the whole. [ __ ] forest 40,000 acres up in flames. they still don't have it contained right. now and damn brought in all that [ __ ]. what's happening they shouldn't sell. matches at gas stations I've been sayin. that [ __ ] how you selling matches right. next to [ __ ] gas bro you know I'm. saying I got anarchists out there. they should have anarchist tests test.

people to see if they're [ __ ]. anarchists do when they're in high. school you know I'm saying give them a. match and give them a piece of cotton. and tell them do not like this piece of. cotton on fire if they do it do [ __ ]. lock them down or shut them down you. know I'm saying give him one of those. remote control scarfs and [ __ ] hell. shut him down let's hear more I mean. just thinking about all my neighbors had. lost their house and all the. firefighters and police you know that.

are doing a good job to contain all that. [ __ ] and yeah fires dangerous dude fire. will [ __ ] you up dude fire can do all. kinds of stuff. fire can turn dough into a [ __ ]. muffin fire can make a biscuit fire can. light a hallway if I can burn down the. damn earth dude. homeward they arrested the guy and he's. in jail right now but man it's just been. a really tough time and your comedy your.

style of humor really helps me get. through it I've been thinking about it a. lot listening to the podcast and man it. makes me feel like I'm hanging out with. one of my older cousins from Oklahoma. you know they're always funny and had. that kind of same view on life that you. do so well thank you man I appreciate. you saying that George you know you know. I I'm glad if I can be that sometimes. like an escape or something or a change. of pace man I'm happy too you know. that's nice you to say man because that.

makes me feel like I'm doing something. positive you know and I think all of us. you know all we really wanted our chorus. to is to feel like we are making. somebody else feel good you know I think. really at our core that all I want is. just to is to do that you know I think.

we all want to do that I mean you got me. getting the emotional here a little bit. man yeah it makes me when you said that. it made me feel you just made me feel. something I'm trying to figure out what. it is you made me feel like I was doing. something for somebody else I guess or. you made me feel like I've service or. you made me feel like I had some.

importance like not in a selfish way but. just that I was doing something not for. myself and and I appreciate that man. that made me feel good when you said. that so thank you George bro and you'd. be safe out there dude stay out the fire. you know I'm saying stay out that don't. buy a kerosene coat from nobody we won't. see you again but if you want to. kerosene coat you probably get one. here in China dude you know I'm saying. bro you could get a butt plug that's. made out of bubblegum son it's gonna be.

bad breath all month after that [ __ ]. wild night thank you for calling George. let's have another call here this came. in from the library's fan line you can. uh you can find these or video you can. see these now on on youtube you can see. these calls as they come in it's not. just the voicemails anymore you can see. the live raised ones and you can also. submit videos through our website Theo. van comm click on the podcast link and. you can submit a video there a video.

question and and that is all free here. we go I was just talking to my. girlfriend about what it is that I like. about you and your act - I'd say thank. you and this is a call from Darren. Henderson and Darren Henderson as a. person here we go it's that you seem. like that you haven't lost a sense of. wonder that almost every child has and.

that's what I like about you that's what. I decided so I wanted to thank you for. that. and sure I realize that's not a question. but I'm just running that by you I. wanted to get a response from you either. way thanks Darren that's nice you to say. man you know I remember on us on a class.

trip to Disney World when I was young. and we honestly I'll be honest with you. eat some LSD and we [ __ ] do we saw it. all son I'm saying I saw man I saw. people and some machines and I saw it. all dude and I saw a great bird come out. of the far north and man he had [ __ ]. strong hands and I saw him [ __ ] touch. my eyeballs with his fevery [ __ ].

feelings but um. sorry but let me get this back to you so. anyway I was at Disney World and uh and. they have their on a wall I said. imagination is more important than. knowledge and I I think it's a quote. from Einstein or something I'm not sure. but I just remembered seeing that and I. got my picture taken next to it now. that's a popular quote but I just knew.

that that was just my life man that that. you know I think when I was young I just. hated like I think sadly when a certain. point I hated my life so much I hated. myself for I don't know what it was you. know I just was not this did not feel. good when I was young and I just heard a. lot man I don't know what you know I. just I don't know and I'm not sad about. it I'm not you know it's the past you. know I can't live there that shit's over.

I'm not living there anymore but but my. imagination I just needed it and so I. think God gave me an imagination just. because I needed it man you know I just. hated being inside of myself I just. hated I just didn't have any tools to. feel okay and so it was just you know. and I said I saw I think God gave me. that he gave me a sense of wonder and a. sense of imagination but yeah I remember.

he said imagination is more important. than knowledge and I just loved that and. and I remember telling my teacher that. one time he said you're gonna fail I. said imagination is more important than. knowledge he goes well you you're gonna. fail this test and he goes you got a D. and I said well I'm gonna imagine that I. didn't get a D and that was it but yeah. but thanks for saying that dude I guess. you know I think there's also a lot of.

[ __ ] I don't know. so which is most stuff so it's like damn. I might always have a sense of wonder. dude until and unless I figure some more. stuff out but I appreciate you calling. man and just having me think about this. kind of stuff and think about like what. it is to wonder you know wondering is. like. sometimes I think like okay so I know. this you know I know like a shoe you.

know I know it it's a shoe but then. sometimes it's like oh well it could be. a hard foot mitten you know it could be. a [ __ ] leather spatula that kind of. wraps around your foot a little bit you. know I thought about like I don't know I. like to just I don't know it's not brain. just serves things to me differently I. don't know. this is interesting a sense of wonder. you got me thinking about this now you. got me wondering about Wonderbra but.

thanks for calling Darren I appreciate. that man and tell your girlfriend that. um that she has a boyfriend who likes to. think about stuff and that is of so much. value we are quickly quickly catapulting. in the two types of people in the world. people who are thinkers and people who. are not and it is happening I believe so. fast and and uh and it's I don't think. it ends well for people that aren't I. don't think it can let's hear another.

call here we go I feel I'm Alex from. Idaho hey Alex thanks for calling in and. I'm calling because I just realized and. I'm not feeling very good about it. okay you just relapse and you're not. feeling really great about it thank you. for calling let's hear more I just shot. and I've been clean and sober for about. a month okay. well that's okay you know it's an is it.

your you still here you have your voice. you're talking about it you're thinking. about it you know you're uh you're being. active let's hear more I'm kind of. feeling down right now see all right. there you're also right about it I'm. currently walking home from downtown. because I don't have my car well. probably good you don't have your car if. you drinking you know you know stay away.

from that vehicle. I'm saying you want to be that killer no. crowd I'm not proud you know I'm so. proud and I I just wanted some advice I. want some good words from you okay well. you're not proud yeah well it's not a. thing of pride I mean you want to have. yeah I'm sorry you don't feel good about. it but it doesn't make you a bad person. because you did it you know you said yet.

about six weeks that's a long time of. being sober if you want to be sober you. know and the good thing is you can. always start over you just start it over. now so it's okay you did six weeks. that's good man you did six weeks dude. my buddy robbed a bakery one time right. [ __ ] idiot. also you know just bake at home it takes.

longer to make as much bread and stuff. but robbing a bakery is dumb but um they. gave he got six weeks he got six weeks. in a local jail so you know six weeks is. six weeks and don't feel bad about. yourself you can feel bad that this. didn't work out that this you know but. now you got six weeks and now you have a. challenge get more next time if you want. to get more you know and also it doesn't. sound like you're a bad person until you. didn't sound [ __ ] wasted yet a shot I.

remember I'll try to go 31 days one time. in on thirty days a girl asking if I. wanted to drink and I had no defense if. a woman asked me for anything. I had no ability to stand on my own two. feet at all and I said yes and man I. didn't feel proud either I felt like I. gave up but Here I am a couple years. later and I got two years tomorrow so so. that's okay you know I'm saying we still. love you. keep your [ __ ] together you know I'm. saying just make sure you wash your.

crotch up every now and then you know. and that doesn't that and that's mad. that's for everybody if you drink it or. not drink and wash your [ __ ] dick or. wash your crotch people thinking dude so. many people never wash their cross and. let the water run over everything don't. [ __ ] wash it wash your crotch. dude I met this girl at the library one. time and she only had eight she only had. eight fingers or eight toes I don't. remember which one it was but uh you. know she only had eighteen of the big. twenty and uh and her crotch Amboy I met.

her at the library brought about her. that cross smelled like a [ __ ] card. catalogue dude you know what I'm saying. it smelled like do it do it do it do it. been deaths you know do we the decimals. he'd been decimated my like due he had. been decimated up in there. you got to tighten up your crotch no. matter what man or woman you know I'm. saying Sud you're nuts up. you want you want soap that can [ __ ].

predict the future bro wash your nuts. where they get a bar here from China. let's take one more call man and then I. gotta get I got to get off the line man. I got to get off the line it's just been. it's been a lot and we'll get more we. got a lot of calls that came in and. we'll get more but um let's take a call. right here this is says dark arts in. China here we go what's up Scott up in. West Virginia thanks for calling hope. this call reaches you before you take.

your flight over see but too late Scott. but I'm glad you call it anyway and I'm. excited to hear it what is it I want to. rub one out you get caught up in the. dark arts of the Orient I don't know. what they are but they sound mysterious. and just a bit more dangerous to me you. might catch yourself with a pair of. chopsticks and get a splinter and that's. kind word it works itself out but. thinking you might want handle business.

before you have business handles whoo. well I appreciate you looking out for me. man. you know and III you know I didn't hear. this call until now but I didn't do that. you know I'm saying I came up in here. fully chocked up you know I'm saying I. got these smut nuts are full of fully. sauced up you know I'm saying I'm. showing up with these I mean I could. probably sell one of my nuts for $1,000. a nut full of [ __ ].

fancy American straight-up human sauce. bro. that's a damn delicacy around here. everything's a delicacy. dude you could eat you know I'm saying. you could sell a doves [ __ ] to. somebody over here for probably $250 I. mean you could do anything you know like. they got all kinds of stuff here they. have any type of animal you can imagine. and I'm saying they got ostriches raised. on [ __ ] rare whale semen. they have ostriches that their whole. lives they've only been fed semen from.

big whales and that meat my god that. meat is the meat from those ostriches. bro will crawl in your [ __ ] mouth and. sleep all night and then go down your. throat and that is damn I mean that is. the lord that is wild but yeah I didn't. do it man I came in here fully up and. I'ma leave fully up you know and it's. been a good experience and I didn't get.

caught in cuz you can do all kinds up in. China you know I'm for the same for $60. you could jerk off into a shark's mouth. and sure it's just a dude dressed up. like a shark but still you know sure. it's just a dude named Larry shark but. still but I know anything can happen. around here man and and I appreciate you. looking out for me Scott but I made it. through so far and I still have a little. bit more time to kill here tomorrow but. uh but so far I have made it through. what else don't want to talk about um.

what else what else is here ah not too. much man got some other dates out there. I want to tell you about Appleton. Wisconsin Salt Lake City Washington DC. all those things you can go get them. what else man any other big adventures. not much just taking it as it comes and. realizing that man is just so still so. much stuff I can do you know not being.

hard on myself but just man life is such. a crazy challenge somebody sent me an. email and it said man Alyssa it said. imagine that you just exist. in nothing for eternity but your spirit. your energy just exists like and I'm. paraphrasing exists in eternity like out. in there in the ether and he said life. is life is the when you is a moment.

where you get to come to the forefront. of the fishbowl of being and you get to. interact with the other with the other. spirits like life is that that's what. our lives are there's all these other. you know humans and beings and. everything out there in the ether in the. space and the all these other energies. and and life is this is this one is this. one time period where we get to show up.

in a form and actually interact with. each other before we go back out into. the ether this is it this is it we get. to be here and feel and love and see and. hurt and recover and forgive we get to. be here man we are you are [ __ ] here. you might be at work right now you might. be wherever but you're on a [ __ ].

planet floating in the middle of space. and you get to love if you want to you. get to help if you want to you get to. forgive you get to apologize you get to. start over you get to make it to six. weeks sober if you want to you get to. learn a new language if you want you get. to travel to another within that this. this existence you can travel to another.

type of people that speak a whole. different language and experience all. those feelings and emotions and a. moments in a different it with a little. bit of a different recipe man is. fascinating being alive we can't control. it. we can take it as it comes. we can control ourselves and I'm not. trying to preach or anything tonight but.

I just I don't know I'm in China man and. I'm just you know my yang yang's is up. my yang yang's is up thank you guys so. much dude thank you guys so much thank. you for being here with me I'm just. grateful we got a lot more calls stuff. what to get to him later man because I. got you know I got to do to bed I got. and I got to edit all this and upload it. so it's gonna be a lot of effort but I'm. excited to put it in I'm excited to put.

this effort in as always you can hit the. hotline if you have a comment a. suggestion ninety five six six four nine. five zero three follow us support I'll. see you in Raleigh North Carolina this. weekend you know and I love you and be. good yourself because because you. probably deserve it have you thought. about that you just might you're making. it you know that don't you you're making.

it. [Music]. I've seen whole men about a hundred days. I can almost hear mama bleep for my. Restless soon and now he made a dollar. light spill but where it's going in. queue me and I still get wet I'm bound.

go panis bishop gun. [Music]. bacon wrong come on you got this you're. making it you got this. got this [ __ ] today this week this month.

got it. most all of my plans slip right through. my head my god next to me Pocono. if their spiral wasn't our glance I'm. slaving I'm about an hour. I'll shut it down.

but how. [Music]. a good man is fan they get me man. [Music]. you got a guest you want to see on me. you go telling me.

let's do this man. do this. [Music]. we can do this. next week um I feel like we can't but. right now I feel like we could.

[Music]. but. [Music].

I think everybody in Shanghai they came. out man. you know to be in another country and. somebody comes from your home country. instead of wanting them to bring you. something and them and and me make them. feel a certain way they made me feel.

comfortable they wanted me to be okay. man just great people great people out. here the Cinna these group they got this. this group out of your storm Brian and. Barney in that fancy weather man too. [Music].

that fancy [ __ ] weatherman bro that's. the wildness man that's the wildness you. guys be good to yourselves you probably. deserve it I will see you back in. America.