Check Ball | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #338

you know this doesn't have to be perfect. you know. that's what i'm thinking about right now. this doesn't have to be perfect and. oh isn't that a nice thing to say. this doesn't have to be perfect i gotta. remember that. what it is what it ain't does the baby. need a spank that used to be a little. limerick. and a limerick is a basically a.

little irish poem or something little. irish. it's basically the irish you can't. really a lot of time you can't even. understand them. so people were so happy when they. finally heard. something out of the iris that they. could understood they gave it a dang. name limerick. and uh. anyway that's old irish limerick what it. is what it ain't. does the baby need a spanx have me a. couple advil right now.

ah with that liquid death i don't know. if you've ever had advil or not. but i have them you know i advil to. everything i do man hell i wish i made a. damn suppository. you know when i was young there was a. thing called um. vegipness and i hate to get crude and be. a naughty boy out here early but when i. was young they had a thing called. vegipen. and that was traveling through the south.

right around the time that um. you know uh what was it called uh. jenkum and jenkum was an. old deal where they would put. you know man this is sorry it's a little. profane but they put uh. animal fesses and stuff like that booty. you know animal you know booty work into. a jug and they would let it. roast in the sun and they would put a. balloon on the top of the bottle.

and human fesses as well and urine. or urine they call it up in michigan up. in the uh. up in the u.p but they would uh. put that in a jug like a two liter. bottle get you a seven up d. or a you know uh. diet dr pepper big daddy you know one of. them two liters. and um and they would you put a balloon. on top and they would let the. the the waste in there fester.

and the gas from it put it in the yard. somebody's yard could be your yard it. was embarrassing to put it in your yard. so people put it in somebody's yard you. know maybe an old person who's not gonna. see it. a lot of time you do that kind of [ __ ]. you know if you got something messed up. you put it in old person yard for a. little while. let people think they're doing it you. know or something but. um and the sun would hit it it would.

fill the balloon with gas. and that gas was made out of uh fester. and urine. and uh fesses and then you would take. that gas you know. and you would huff it and people would. hit that jenkins it was called. uh what was it nickname let me see. nicknames. for jinkum. um. let me see right here jenkum uh.

okay jenkum a highly hallucinogenic drug. which results from huffing the fumes. they get naughty out here on the. interwebs baby. highly hallucinogenic that means top of. the line we're talking big daddy. we're talking really if you this is like. damn. setting your dick on a frog's back you. know for an hour kind of thing. highly hallucinogenic drug which results.

from huffing the fumes of your own. fermented. fecal matter users claim. users claim it gives an incredible rush. that's what they call it right there. jenkum right there and here's an. alternate title getting a bottle. uh uh and taping a balloon. to the top and letting your. piece and turd ferment.

man we getting naughty out here then. removing the. [ __ ] man this stuff here's alternate. definition getting a. sorry man getting a bottle and taping a. balloon to the top. letting your pee pee pee. and turd ferment for a few days and i'm. sorry it's getting a little graphic. for a few days weeks even then removing.

the balloon. and inhaling that gas baby getting that. [Music]. getting that huff baby getting that puff. puff you know. and they say it creates an awesome high. it's an african drug. in africa they cannot afford drugs it. says so they invented. jenkum whoo whoo. uh and that's that chardonnay bro you. know what i'm saying you wait a couple. of weeks. i mean you wait a couple of weeks that's. that chardonnay bro heavy on the shark.

um anyway what i'm saying is i had some. advil. and i have them a lot and if they made a. suppository i would have one. you know i put a damn thousand. milligrams i'd hide it in that back jaw. early in the morning man so. if anybody's out there doing jenkins or. doing whatever man i hope that you're. not riding it too hard today. a hallucinogenic drug made out of the. collected fumes of fermented fessies and. urine. uh leave it in the sun for a few days.

that huff mcgruff. that pooter juice is a nickname. and another nickname for some reason is. terrence and phillip so i don't know. what that means maybe that could have. been some gay men that was doing. being wild outdoors so i'm not sure. not sure about that not sure what god. wants on that um. welcome to the episode let's get into it.

come on. [Music]. i'm just sitting on your front porch. wondering how could i be. so far from my home. [Music]. and my mind is somewhere else but when i.

find it i'll patch up where it's been. grown come on. now i'm just floating on the breeze and. i feel i'm falling. like these leaves. [Music]. [Music]. in my bones but it's gonna take.

a little time. for me to set that parking brake and let. myself. on wire shine that light on. me. i'll spit and tell you my story.

and there you go that's shine by bishop. gun. and that's that ordinary connection. piece right there for us. that's that mild. tightrope between souls people have. heard it before they hear it again. and that is familiarity.

you know i like i like i like uh. familiarity. familiarity it sounds. familiarity it sound like a drug for a. baby. you know this baby he. honestly man we caught him smoking. you know we caught him looking at other. babies tits you know we caught so we had. to put him on a couple doses of uh.

familiarity and he's hopefully he'll be. better we don't know. you know his brother ended up in jail so. who knows but. familiarity i like familiarity. i like being in places that make me feel. comfortable i like. you know sometimes i i remember when i. was young i would get in the christmas. boxes you know. um and if somebody got a gift second. they got it out i'd be in that bastard. somebody got a little toaster you know.

somebody get a little toaster i'd be in. that [ __ ]. you know somebody got a little uh. capital gray skull or something set. toy box thing i'd be uh you'd see me in. there. like a cat. and i like that i just liked uh being in. a tight little. closed space kind of i'm that womb. hunter you know. i'm always looking to skirt back.

i'm always looking for an umbilical cord. just hanging anywhere i'll climb right. back up that bad i don't care. who's running womb baby. i don't care how far zan i gotta climb. baby oh. i will swing into that bastard. i like that attic i always like that. closed space. i like that tightness that that little. domicile they call it.

i like being in a little capsule. hell i'll probably enjoy being dead. honestly. you know i miss you guys but i will be i. will enjoy it because i want in that. coffin baby i'm getting that [ __ ] tight. sometimes you see people with these big. bodies you know sometimes you'll see a. brother or something be buried with that. being that big body. ah not me i want that coffin i want that. thing be damn a foot and a half wide. baby 18 inches you know.

i want that thing right at six feet man. and honestly man they could bend my legs. a little make that [ __ ] at five and a. half feet. i want that tight i want that easy i. want something that could. you know you could mistake it for a damn. uh. bunch of roses on you know delivered by. somebody by a company. like damn is that somebody burying a box. of roses. that's what i want that because i like.

the tightness i like that close knit. i like that and i don't wear too big of. a shirt i don't wear too much of a large. shirt either. you'll see me insi you know in a. semi-large. really which i wish there was a size. that they made. i like that lean large you know. man it was something i was going to tell. you just forgot about oh. so for a while man i was doing drugs and.

i used to live with this man named kenny. and they called him two cat kenny. because he had he had two cats and uh. and i would do drugs and [ __ ] and one. night he came and knocked on my door i'd. i was uh living in his apartment he. lived there and i moved in. and so i had my own room and i was. excited man i had me a little couch in. there. you know it was a big room it was kind. of i could be in my bed or be in my. couch [ __ ] i'm all over.

you know i had that kind of atmosphere. in there. and got me a little ice chest in the. corner i put a couple little. little beverages in that bastard you. know. i put me a couple waters couple [ __ ]. uh maybe uh. you know maybe diet sprites in that. [ __ ] you know live it up i was. doing it all and anyway so sometimes one. night kenny come in my room the first. time he did it he came in he said hey. come out here and he would get high out.

there in the living room i think or he. was on something. and if you've ever had a roommate that's. on something when they knock on your. door in your room door you know it's. anything could be behind anything could. be going on. they could need help they could be. bleeding they could be missing. you know you some with some roommates. that throw on some drugs they'll knock. and go missing by the time you get to. the damn door like damn. this some real there's some real [ __ ]. right here this person they really. they just can't even find themselves.

right now so anyway. i came in the door and kenny been out in. the living room he stacked a bunch of. boxes out there big pyramid of boxes. you know that egyptian shape and he he. he put that thing we had high ceiling. living room. high ceiling living room and he'd. invited this lady over from next door. this lady martha was her name and she. always got stoned and she look. i mean she was she wasn't [ __ ] honestly. and i hate to say that and i hope she's. better now but at the time she was just.

she wasn't really [ __ ] man you know. she wasn't she just what man i just i. shouldn't say that she was [ __ ] she was. uh she was awesome. she was awesome but i didn't see that. side of her. and uh and anyway so him and martha's. out there huffing uh. doing something i don't think he's. huffing paint doing a keyboard clean or. some kind of [ __ ]. but they got the cats on these boxes on. these pyramidal boxes. and kenny's like man you'll never guess.

what's in the top man. and he had his little cat up there. buckeye was his name. you know because he had a real uh he had. like kind of. kind of gold hair around his [ __ ]. honestly butthole b-hole. sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry b-hole. in case any moms are driving their kids. to school right now bought a b-hole. and they call him buckeye and uh. and he had no tail on him i mean his. tail had been trimmed all the way.

straight to the spine so you saw just. you was getting full hole on that cat. you know you was getting ultimate hole. you know that's u-hole because there's. b-hole and there's u-hole bro and that's. when you just. god you just hope for better you know. but anyway so what happened was. uh buckeye had gotten somehow into the. box on the top of the damn thing bro. top of that pyramid and they're out. there on that keyboard cleaner you know. and they've been huffing that and doing.

a little. you know doing a little bit of weed or. uppers or downers or. something side splitters i don't know. what they were on but they were bent out. and i knew when i opened that door he's. sitting there martha's there. and they're just [ __ ] watching that. cat up there in that big box in that. pyramid. man i knew i had to get out of there. that's what i knew at that time baby. amen and i want to let you guys know. about the tour. actually pre-sale tickets are available. now.

through thursday may 6th at 10 p.m. now through then go to theovonne.com. tour t-o-u-r and enter the code. weekend um and that's before they'll be. available to everyone else. they're available to the listeners of. this podcast and thank you for being a. part of my life. and that's the code and some of the. cities we're coming to saint louis. uh cincinnati these are in september. these dates are a little ways out.

st louis cincinnati charlotte. uh carolina uh. durham north carolina sorry at the. carolina theater. uh the tivoli theater over there in. chattanooga. tennessee and i'll be happy to be over. there my mother used to live over there. with a man. knoxville tennessee at the tennessee. theater. wilmington delaware at the grand opera. house and wilkes bar. at the fm kirby center.

so that'll be the first leg of that tour. and uh oh also minneapolis. charleston richmond virginia. baltimore maryland albany new york. at the egg buffalo new york. in columbus ohio at the davidson theater. so a lot of great places man i'm excited. to do that and that tour will figure out. the name. um but that'll be coming to you and so.

be ready for. it what else is happening man what's. going on in your lives. i want to know some of that and and. we'll figure some of that out i'm trying. to think of what's going on with me. oh i want to update you on the ketamine. uh therapy. so if people know or don't know some of. you know i got the ketamine therapy. going and i have. uh two more treatments. and man um you know and i've been going. to my regular meetings and stuff like. that my regular recovery stuff at the.

same time and. uh but man it's. i'd never done anything like this. so you're in there and they give you an. iv and they put the. drugs in in the end of the thing and you. have the therapist there. and at first you're in the room. and then dude it got. it got dicey man i mean i'm talking las. vegas dicey i'm not talking damn reno.

i'm talking vegas dicey you know i'm. talking [ __ ]. out back at the venetian a couple. brothers gambling you know saying i'm. saying it got. dicey i'm talking about the weights the. the the cook staff out there gambling in. the alley. it's just like it's almost like somebody. takes. part of you your soul i'll say. and uh you ever been to a dry cleaners. and you go in there and you look and you. see they got all the equipment.

and you're like oh man they got a lot of. equipment in here. um and they got the thing when they. press the button it kind of like. and other people's shirts go by and. you're like damn that guy's got nice. [ __ ]. man and you sometimes you bet you'll if. it's a smallest town you'll see somebody. something go by you're like oh man. i bet that's miss irma's you know oh. that looks like randall's [ __ ] you know. it. looked like randall's little boots you. know oh damn that's his stuff too he's. about to come out the closet you know.

i'm saying you start to get that vibe. when things go by but. it's like somebody took your head your. spirit and put it onto that. and press the maximum button they could. and let that. [ __ ] go. like i remember at one point yelling out. that i was a cryptocurrency. so that's how you start to feel man. things get. you go into the matrix. you go into the i mean you're in the.

you're on the mayflower in the matrix. eating flour uh performing tricks you're. doing there's a lot. a lot of levels going on man it feels. like elon musk just climbs straight in. the ass and comes out of your brain like. it's a lot of. um. it's like this part and i know this. sounds crazy it's not like being a high. on weed it's not like being high on.

cocaine it's. it wasn't like the dmt uh it was a. little bit like the dmt. but not visual it's like this. i remember at one point all the. furniture in the world. moved across the globe into. into one little half bathroom. on the edge of zaire that's what i just. remember that happened. in a matter of a couple seconds it's.

like you're on a and then at certain. moments it's like you're on a. uh it's like you're in a wheelchair but. also. you're like on a r what's it called ross. solar. uh roller coaster. you're on a roller coaster but you're. also in a wheelchair at the same time. like it's. i mean you're i don't know man.

but some interesting stuff happened i. got to see myself as a child i got to. uh i got to. i got to just you kind of. i felt like i kind of had just. had to start growing up. if that makes any sense i felt like it. kind of made me realize some things i. just have to grow up a little.

[ __ ] you know i got to at least hit 10. emotionally or 11. so so anyway i think it's really. interesting though. like i'm monitoring how i feel if my. mood feels better. i'm hoping to be able to quit. antidepressants with the help of a. doctor. um and uh. and so that's some of the things that. i'm hopeful for. in it uh but i wanted to update you guys.

on it. um for me it's a lot about just feeling. okay like am i okay. am i okay so that's the kind of a lot of. thing that i talk about when. i'm in there under the influence. because there's some moments where i'm. like is this really helpful or am i just. doing drugs in a strip mall somewhere. you know what i'm saying like am i just. doing drugs by this damn five guys you. know i'm saying what's really going on. here. um and that's the crazy part the place i.

go you're wall-to-wall with a damn five. guys dude and four of those guys smell. like [ __ ] burgers bro i'll tell you. that i don't know who the fifth dude is. but. four of those mf smell like burgers bro. so it's hard cause you're getting you. know they got you on the grill and. you know mentally on the spiritual grill. in there in the same time. if you almost put your ear up i swear to. god i could hear somebody. finishing off a double in there and. god that really will that'll make you.

want to get well right there when. there's a burger in the next room. it's kind of crazy the power of that um. uh so i wanna also dude i wanna say this. i'm upstairs. um i wanna wanna say this. a lot dude that's one thing i wish about. my my house now i have a. i have a house and it's crazy to say. that i'm almost getting shame to say it. in a sad way i know that's weird to say. but sometimes i feel like i'm. embarrassed i guess.

um to like have stuff i don't know. i think i just relate so much with not. having anything. and with being um. i don't know about poor but with that. struggle with that like. chip on my shoulder that it's scary to. now. be in a place where i feel like. you know i have a dang living room. you know where you can live.

you know like. like if my house burns down like they're. gonna call me. like that's crazy like i'm used to kind. of being in the place where if the place. burns down you call. somebody else who's gonna be pissed off. they're gonna be pissed unless they. burned it which happened to us once over. there. off of lee road did the dude burn the. damn place down to get money. and i mean let us know by letter first.

of all. idiot and second of all call us bro if. you're gonna burn the place down. call us hey feel that heat. so don't let us know about damn letter. where you can get busted and. where we don't even get the letter. laughter you know. so just that kind of [ __ ] man but. anyway so i knew what i was talking. about.

uh yeah that's it oh my mom came to. visit. i'll tell you about that in just a. second i wanna let you know first though. we gotta we gotta do the ads and i gotta. let you know about the podcast and. things that are going on so. i appreciate your support i appreciate. your support man. mint mobile you gotta get your mobile. well. and some people you try to call them you. can't call them. if you want some people if you want to. start a fire at their house you got to. mail them you know where you got a damn.

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this podcast they work and look you. don't have to have a hole and get you a. little half get you a little nibble. you're on a date it's going okay nibble. off a little chunk that's how i. am i save money like that baby. and then keep your little ziplock in the. car but you know. a couple of half you know a couple of. half out dps or making it a dust. that's what i do too make that you know. put in a little. you know put some water in a spoon you.

know i'm joking. that's a joke just so you don't want. anybody. cooking themselves down uh. what else man let's hear uh we got a. call that came in right here. we got some single moms you know it's. mother's day week. um i spent some time my mother was in. town. and uh and you know we had a nice time. man we had a nice time i'll get to that. in just a second first i want to get to. this fellas call here we go.

um big fan of shows calling in rather. not. give my name for personal reasons but uh. okay. and that's probably uh child support i'm. guessing. yes sir go ahead i've been going through. a big. transitional time in my life with uh. therapy and stuff like that and. just listen to a new episode and you. talked about doing the. ketamine therapy and i actually just. finished my six sessions. of uh doing that and it was just.

really nice to hear that someone i look. up to you know has. taken the same route of trying to get. some self-help like i am because i kind. of felt alone in it like no one else. really. understood what it was or anything and i. kind of took a diet and went for it and. uh. i got to tell you i was cracking up when. you were talking about the. the crying in the first session because. when i did my first session i felt like. there was a. [ __ ] tear tractor beam in front of my. face pulling. pulling everything i had out of me and. yep that tear tractor baby.

and somebody's using a skill saw nearby. if you can hear a sound. onward it felt good but like you said. it's real emotionally draining but um. yeah i just wanted to say stick with it. man because i finished mine and it's. helped me be much more emotionally. expressive to. people around me and really strengthen. my relationships with people that uh i. have in my life and. also uh thanks for doing the show he's. got me through some. hard times i think that you know you.

you put a smile on people's face a lot. more than you might think you do and. help them get through some rough times. just from you. talking and shooting the [ __ ] on your. show so thanks again man. gang gay gang brother thank you i. appreciate you know. the you know that's sweetie to say that. man thank you thank you for calling. uh yeah you know i was scared to do it i. was scared to talk about it. honestly um you know but also i would. like you. you know i just i want to be proactive. in trying to feel good.

you know um and yeah that for and i'll. try anything. you know here's the thing i've tried. like street drugs. so to try something that's you know. that at least even if it's a street drug. it's being used in a positive way. or you know a way that's like. directionally. decent then that. shoot i'm you know i'm a sucker for that.

i guess then. oh but yeah thanks man um. i'm glad i did it you know i'm glad i'm. doing it and uh. and it's interesting it's really. interesting i'm curious to see. kind of some of the effects some of the. long-term effects if there are any. um i'm just curious and. and you know i wonder if years from now. there will be cures for some of this. stuff. uh sometimes i still think it's just a.

spiritual. malady that i have and that it has. nothing to do with. anything else but you know i want to. exhaust every. option so that's what i'm gonna do um. or i don't know if that's what i'm gonna. do but we'll see what i'm gonna do i. don't even know what i'm gonna do. damn but thanks man i'm glad you checked. it out man. thanks for the good words you know i had. an epiphany just or just an idea i don't. know what it was. i mean epiphany's just a damn idea and a.

skirt you know that bruh. it's just an idea that showed up to. happy hour. with lipstick and a condom in its sock. you know what i'm saying epiphany. oh you know epiphany she likes to get it. right you feel me. so um. what else man let's take another call. that came in here. here we go. what's up theo it's aaron from oklahoma.

city. what's up aaron oklahoma city man y'all. did that bombing bro. and uh and what else man. um oh yeah kevin durant also baby let's. go. gang i know you say you used to be a bus. boy i'm a bus boy as well i was. wondering if you had. any crazy bus boy stories like weird. conversations you overheard or something. damn was your daddy a typewriter dog.

because you definitely. you know you got that kind of that. stenographer's vibe. man uh. any good busboy stories well alfonso. rivieros came in one time when i was bus. boying. kevin costner came in and he ate three. muffins i remember that he liked them. yeah he did like them uh what else. happened um. oh dude so my boy dennis we used to do.

drugs and. the first time we ever did some cocaine. he took me over to somebody's house. and the guy only had one eye you know he. had that buck shot baby or whatever. you know he had that uh. you know he honestly just kind of his. face was kind of [ __ ]. brave it's like hey i'll do it with one. you know check ball you know what i'm. saying bro. and he just checked that other one at. the door baby his face said look fam.

we going one we going one rock. so i respect that man the guy i don't. remember his name. but i walk in and the guy's coming up. from doing a line of cocaine there's a. thing of fresh oranges on the table. um and he looked up at me and only had. one eye and i thought i was already. [ __ ] up. i thought that the guy had kind of. sucked so hard with his nostril he took. one of his eyes back into his head. you know and at that point i'm thinking.

he's just seeing snot you know. seeing the inside of his capabilities. but um. but what else man yeah that i mean some. other stuff happened i remember i found. an. abbey road tape and it's a cassette tape. and some people don't believe in them. but i believed in them. and i found that on the side of the road. and i used that for a while. listen to that album that was my. introduction to the beatles really.

and i would time it just perfectly when. i left work when i put on that one. song uh. uh imagine i don't know what it is. but it was a good song man i would time. it just perfectly when i left work. i had me a little dural or a little.

winston. and i would cut that [ __ ] on with a. lighter. and i fire up that 1984 ford escort lazy. upstairs. and i would drive that thing. right to home and i would get to my. mom's place this is out in tucson. arizona out there. and it was a lot of like a lot of. mexican scare a lot of scare there's a. lot of just mexicans fighting at school. they called it school but it was. basically mexican people fighting.

and then there was some but like. occasionally someone would. read a book report but um. and uh and i would just get to my. mother's house and that last. touch of that that last huff of that. doral baby. and i really love that i missed that. time so. but thank you for uh reminding me aaron. of that and good luck out there in okc. man and um.

if anybody uh is in. oklahoma city and they see a busboy see. if he's aaron that could be him. um we got a call that came in here. this fella right here beautiful fella. here we go it could be beautiful this is. just audio. hey what's going on theo this is matt. i'm out here in washington. state i just was curious what's up. washington state. out there tacoma man and you guys. unfortunately gonzaga went out.

and people don't know they're based out. of spokane. and i spent some time up and washed up. in uh. near snoke wyoming out there and i had. some girl. uh met a girl out there i made love to. out there one time. she worked in. i don't want to say arts and crafts. surplus but yarn sales i remember she. had a. little subaru hatchback full of yarn. multi-colored yarn baby.

beautiful little lady let's hear more. brother onward. if you had any advice for me or if maybe. any listeners had some advice for me. i've been in the military for about five. years now and i joined right out of high. school. i'm about to get out i'm coming up here. in august. i'm just seeing if uh anybody had any. advice you know it's pretty. nerve-wracking i didn't i haven't known. anything else my whole life i've only. been in the military so. working on getting jobs lined up house.

for me my wife what not like that so. if you or any of the listeners had any. advice for me i appreciate it. uh you know gang gang. thanks maddie and yeah you know that's a. great question i've never been military. you know when i there were some kids in. our school that was in rotc. and they were you know some of them. honestly were. inbreeding or doing inbreeding and they. were.

[Music]. they used to run around after school. with wooden guns and pretend. people was attacking the damn philosophy. center or whatever you know. uh you know they'd be defending the. library you'd see six of them out there. you know one of them knocked up out. there with a wooden gun and they're all. defending the damn. book drop off at the damn night drop off. at the damn library just. you know i respect them i'm not saying i. don't respect them but they were. the training bus was bleak you know i.

remember that the training bus was. bleaking. um man what was i talking about. uh. oh well you know that's a great question. matt and i think that is a good question. to to. to put out to people you know i'm sure. we have a lot of listeners that are. military and thank you very much for. for your service you know i'm sorry a. lot of these uh these days the media. probably doesn't support you as much as. you. feel like it should you know military. does so much to keep us safe.

um do you know that in america there's. always like we're only eight hours away. from uh we could be wheels up you could. have a. uh uh seal team six or uh. um you know one of those airborne groups. or. uh you know uh. or army ranger this i don't know exactly. what i'm talking about so. i'm gonna shut up but they're we're. always only. eight hours away from having just full.

bore and that's crazy. you know what i'm saying you couldn't it. takes a family of four. damn four days to plan a [ __ ] to pack. a van to go to destin. so when you're thinking about or pack a. van to go to the damn lake of the ozarks. which is in missouri. and i didn't know it for years and also. did you know this. the s what is it called it's in. pennsylvania. the poconos is in pennsylvania.

had no idea man for years i had no idea. i thought it was islands i thought i was. off of aruba or somewhere. but the poconos is in damn pennsylvania. so a lot of stuff being learned by. everybody but um. but yeah if you have suggestions what's. a good suggestion for somebody if. they're getting out of the military what. do you think. you know what do you think somebody's. getting out of the military if you've. been in the military hit the hotline.

985-664-9503 and we'll put together some. uh. some ideas for you matt and just kind of. survey the crowd there. what else yeah man that's pretty. fascinating that we have that. capability to keep us safe you know. we've gotten so used to being safe here. in america in a way it's almost like the.

people you have to be safe from now. is are in america that's the crazy part. like it's companies and it's you know uh. big tech and just things that can limit. your ability to be free. it's wild man just it's just interesting. to see once you don't have the enemies. outside or they're. you know because our previous. generations had that they were fighting. for territory and for.

our borders and to secure. a place and then once you don't have. once that scare isn't there for a while. damn. the enemies is in the damn wi-fi man. it's crisis. i mean also i don't know what i'm. talking about um. let's hear something here man we got. some uh other nice calls that came in. some really good ones in uh. and let's ask let's let's uh let's hit.

this one right here. what's up d.o it's luke um out of. birmingham. alabama luke got a b ham baby. and they call it b ham and i went to a. concert over there near pelham. alabama one time and i was a child man i. was a damn middle-aged child and. we was bent out on ecstasy or something. i don't know i ate something out of some. somebody's hand i remember [ __ ]. eating it right out of their hand.

i didn't know what it was and and i ate. it and i was drugged out and i smoked me. half a pack of uh. newports in a row outside of a days inn. which was a semi-decent and it was fine. during the day that you know what they. advertise well. during the day it's fine. dude come about 6 15 pm. bro it's for days only dog it got.

real dicey out there i'm upstairs. dude i was upstairs baby i wasn't out on. the streets around there. shout out days in baby d.i gang. sorry let's hear more luke this is about. you man. and so i i just got got my first number. from a girl. let's go that's what i'm talking about. that's what we do here. let's get some wins on the board baby. let's go lukey.

or the first time i asked the girl uh. before i'm upstairs. your number and sorry i interrupted you. let's go back. the girl uh for her number sorry uh. oh i i just got got my first number from. a girl. and or the first time i asked the girl. uh for her number. and you know i was just going to get a. smoothie on my lunch break because. that's what i do when i get stressed out. oh yeah that's how i ended up on dmt. over there in maui.

onward it's in the park but anyways. um i don't do. i mean she was [ __ ] beautiful man. and i'm gonna stop you right there looky. looky looky. looky here papa numeros. man there's not there's nothing we need. that first moment i don't know if it's. like this for women. a lady please if you're a lady bruh if. you running that little wallet bruh and.

you're doing that for god and all of. that. and you can have children hit the. hotline 985-664-9503. and let me know if it's like this for. women because a guy when you see the. girl. when you see that little dime roll out. the bank baby or roll out the. starbuck you know or the damn dw. shoes or whatever the little you know. the long johns. uh not the pant shop the long johns.

fish store long john's uh silver. is he jewish is long john silver jewish. i don't know man but. um but yeah when you see whenever it. went out. that first glimpse just like damn. damn bro. it's like that kind of that stick you. know that's crisp. sting that comes from listerine. it's kind of like that bro better but in.

your. in you like in your damn vulva or. whatever in you. like in your liking. like uh. you know when you because your penis. starts at your brain. you know that right your penis it's. that's where it starts it's all. activated out of the brain. so anyway yeah man there's nothing like. that first moment man.

there's nothing like that first moment. bro. let's hear more and um. bruh she uh she texted me and i don't. know where do i go from here. i just got out of relation a bad. relationship bad breakup. uh it's been a year now i'm just getting. over here. i don't know where to start man i know. you got your girl troubles too. and even though you a sexy looking. [ __ ]. um just give me some advice on what i. should do with that number or how i.

should uh. go about it i probably already [ __ ] it. up yeah. that's true i'm sure you have uh if you. like any dude i know. they texted too early bro onward. but uh um yeah man. i went to my first aaa meeting last. night too um. i was drunk but i looked that up and. that's uh. acceptable aaa meeting so i turned my. ass around because it felt my heart. but it went good um all right i'll let. you go brother gang gang.

gang baby man i'm proud of you for just. being brave man for just doing [ __ ]. you know for just staying busy man. you're staying busy you're staying. in the flow of life. you know what i start to realize and. this has happened for me recently i. start to isolate. oh i need to let you know i need to keep. myself from this and keep myself from. this and. how can i stay out of this deal this. situ you know i don't want to be i don't. know i don't. and the more i do that the more i. isolate and the more i get.

alone and feeling alone. and for me that's a lot of my alcoholism. a lot of whatever the ism is inside of. me whatever the thing. whatever that dirty baby that crawls. inside of me that's what it's bait. a lot of it is that it's just that thing. that wants to keep me. separate keep me alone. keep me in that womb you know wherever.

that womb is. you know i want to be on that i want to. be that cat in the top box while. everybody else is getting dosed out in. [ __ ] martha. i want to be that cat in the top box. but that doesn't suit me though because. then i'm alone it just it's a trickery. and it's a trickery man and that's def. that's devil that's devil working. and that is devil working brother praise. god man.

but i'm happy for you man let's get some. wins on the board if you had a win. hit us up the hot line 985 664 9503 let. me know your wins. we need some wins in the books. yeah let me know your wins if you tried. something something happened you know. and congrats on the meeting man it. doesn't matter. there's no right way to do anything. there's just your life there's just your. path. and uh yeah it's look it's neat to check.

out. you know i've been in them before um i. don't know if i've ever been in one. drunk before. but i've been in one the night after. drinking many of times man um. and it doesn't matter man uh. but good for you just staying in the. flow of things as much as i don't want. to sometimes. everything inside of me says no i don't. go say you can't. but then when i go then i'm in i realize.

that i'm okay. and that's one thing this whole a lot of. society right now there's this thing of. this separation how can we close. everybody off and just make them. it feels like anyway and this is just to. me i'm not saying this to everybody. but it feels like there's a lot of. society. trying to just close us off to be alone. which then creates suffering.

so then we can buy something to make us. feel better. and then they want you in that little. rose box coffin baby. five feet by 18 inches daddy they want. you playing small ball. but lucky is out here. smoothied out boo boo i'm upstairs. [Applause]. looky's out here smoothied up. cause he's dealing with some dub ass.

[ __ ] work stress. and he's logging digits at the park baby. that's what we do. play ball. [Music]. i don't care if you're in the game i. don't care if he's the third bait coach. i don't care if he's a streaker. get in the field.

and there's that skill so you hear that. and apparently when i get too fired up. that thing goes off thank you luke thank. you for that call man uh. man i made you made my day you made my. day man. you know and that's all you can make at. the days in bro because 6. 15 comes around pop pop. veldrin's out there freaking so the dude. there'll be somebody out there. cooking them cooking a can of beans with.

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t-h-e-o promo code theo for 20. off that's get super leaf dot com slash. theo promo code theo for 20. off also i want to let you know we have. the podcast ville. 2019 art that was done by papio tune. it's now available you can get it. it can be framed or unframed it can be. on a mug. it can be i mean it's really really. beautiful. i want to get one here in studio and uh.

and you can check them out that's right. podcastville mugs and digital prints are. available now. yep just go to theovon.pixels.com. and it has all your favorite podcasters. on it you can check it out. um man. i'm excited to hit up these single miles. we got mother's day coming up. you know my mom came in town uh. you know i was definitely excited you. know i i saved some things at home. for us to do together like just to go.

shopping for small. things and not even save them i think i. just hadn't done them. so you know it was nice uh to spend time. together i thought about having her as a. guest on the podcast but. we don't really have it set up right now. to do two people uh so we're gonna have. to wait uh maybe another time. um you know there were sometimes it was. a little stressful and we kind of just. went to our. mutual corners and uh and that was okay.

you know. um you know it was kind of nice in a lot. of ways man it was. nice just like i think i kind of come to. some realizations that like. you know my relationship with my mother. doesn't it doesn't have to be some. perfect. thing you know i think always in my head. that it needs to land in some perfect. place or it all has to be figured out. um and it's okay.

it can kind of be that's that skill saw. it can kind of be um. you know it can just be kind of fluid. and uh and so there was nice. there was some niceness about that you. know there was some niceness just to. have. some times also i was like you know i. just need some space to myself. and i'm an adult now so i could do that. i could take that space. where when i was a child i didn't really.

have that ability if i needed. know if you know you're you're kind of. in your parents you know you're in their. domain so um. so it was good man we went picked out. some different stuff and got some. different thing got some soap got a. shower caddy in my shower. because everything was just sitting on. the bottom you know when you're kind of. like you know just two-stepping around. the toothpaste and all of that.

and just trying to kick stuff away from. the drain. if you've ever done that in your shower. you just like don't set anything up so. it's just in the bottom you just keep. kicking it away from the drain but. um got a shower caddy forgot silverware. so still doing uh you know still washing. the plastics off in the sink but. um but it was nice we didn't have really. like any heart-to-heart combos or. anything like that. you know and that's okay um. i'm glad that we both made the time to.

spend time together though. you know we both made a commitment to to. spend time together. and um. [Music]. and it was nice man we went out one. night mom had a margarita her second one. she's ever had. so that was cool so i had to put i had. to ask her some you know. ask her some questions about that about. her first marriage after that and so. you know i got into that a little but um.

yeah we had a nice time man i know that. she loves me and. uh you know and i'm hard to love. sometimes you know. i'm particular as an adult. and i think they were those were safety. mechanisms that i used as a kid. uh and now they sometimes keep me too. safe. in some ways you know they can sometimes. keep me so. safe that uh i'm separate. um but that's okay i'm not complaining.

people sometimes are like man you're. whining i'm not having self-pity i'm. just. sometimes i like to share what i'm. thinking or feeling. and it's not complaining it's not i'm. just sharing it. you know i just i i just i'm just. sharing it. and so that's okay you know it's. mother's day coming up and um. we're gonna get to that in just a second. and uh and first i want to get into. maybe one or two. more oh this happened bro a couple. italians. threw a flat screen off a damn uh thing.

yo we're on the 47th the floor here. oh my god and i don't know if you can. see this literally. it's two two white dudes one of them in. a straight up jita jersey. okay so uh. italian could be jewish this kid but it. looks italian. um but definitely has a television. obviously it's either.

it's probably from the hotel 42nd floor. these two dudes are yacked up baby. on some of that italian yak baby that. giddy up bro. that freaking brain father dog you know. what i'm talking about baby. that freaking genealogy dust baby you. snort your way back to your grandfather. on some of that strong [ __ ] baby gang. um and they just threw a television off. the 42nd floor. in what looks like i'm gonna say this is.

las vegas. [Music]. it's pretty funny. i love how as soon as it hits the guy. runs into the hotel room. like at that like at that point. oh man that [ __ ] is good dude oh that.

was good. so right there that's full italian man. and that is. uh i mean it's just you know what makes. me mad. the quality of product. and that's product quality they call it. but that makes me mad man a long time. ago dude television you threw that [ __ ]. off you needed two people to throw that. [ __ ]. okay and when that thing hit dude. i mean timothy mcveigh probably you know.

his spine got a little straighter. you know that thing really those things. it was. glass on the front and it was a damn. there was a bulb in there and there was. some real weight and girth to it that. thing. that thing would get to the 42 floors in. five seconds this thing took five. eight seconds it should that thing. landed like a damn dove down there. that thing landed like a dove baby damn. so we need to just heavy these [ __ ].

up man. but that's a ballsy move man. throwing that thing 42 floors throwing a. tv off man. praise god that's italian daddy let's go. got another video right here of a giants. fan. reacting to the eagles stealing their. player. are you kidding me are you smoke get the. [ __ ] upstairs now. get the [ __ ] upstairs now.

are you kidding me you [ __ ] put a. hole in the board. and the guy punched two holes into the. wall the guy couldn't handle the pick. the draft picked the giants the eagles. stole the draft pick. and the guy put two holes into the wall. here's what i'm saying ladies you want. the holes in the wall. you want the holes in the wife. sometimes you got the exertion has to. get out. so i think that this man did the right.

thing. i think his wife also did the right. thing by telling him. to get the [ __ ] out if suddenly he. thinks he's a damn general contractor. when he's hopped up on [ __ ] heineken. summer rail. at 4 p.m in the afternoon. to be a damn giants fan come on bro. y'all got evan ingram y'all should have. him throw and catch the ball dude.

but look man that's the kind of stuff. that's going on out there in god's world. man and so that's what happens when you. watch the nfl draft. dude go to flag football watch flag. football. it's better some of it's co-ed there's. hot chicks bro. live it up hey man man. man we've had a good time so far um. i've had a good time anyway thank you. guys for being here. um and speaking of sports man this one. last sport i want to check in on uh.

and this is underwater sport right here. [Music]. if you've seen this if you can see the. video on youtube that the man. is man underwater and i'm not going to. say this is a. you know this is definitely a. all male type of sport this is. definitely a lot of men that's. homeowners. if you know what i'm talking about. brother you know what i'm saying full. men on men.

this tickling each other underwater. trying to get a little. look like a damn little sausage from. each other like a little. sausage bun one of those eight answers. and then they. oh that big boy is pushing him. oh god he threw that. oh and who was that that man's wearing a. thong. but this is definitely this is the kind.

of [ __ ] that would go on at a rest area. if they had. pools so you could just say really. obviously that's what this. is and i hope these men are all safe and. this could be a prison thing also. because it seems real touch and go. uh all right let's get on um. thank you for whoever sent that in thank. you for everybody who made calls into. the uh. episode today all right with mother's. day uh. coming up um you know it's an exciting. time for us to do something.

uh for some single moms out there and i. want to thank everybody who's a part of. our patreon. and just a listener of this podcast um. you know i always feel everybody's. support in this. realm and um and so. you know it's nice for me to just be the. liaison of us offering a little bit of. assistance here and there. and just a moment to uh. recognize so we got a submission that. came in today. uh let me play this video right here.

yo what's up theo's chico from berkeley. california. out here doing some urban farming a. little chicken back there. dang chico got that freaking yard bird. son. that bait that freaking backyard dinner. section daddy let's go. uh thank you for calling chico let's. hear more. back there i wanted to nominate my. homegirl alicia. for the um the single mother's thing she. had her son while she was in high school. a young mom and put herself through um. through community college.

put herself through her bachelor's. program in nursing all while holding a. job. now she's actually in a master's program. for nursing at the university of san. francisco. paying for that herself and all you know. she's got she's got a new job while. she's doing that so. girl's been working hard taking care of. her son she cooks meals for him every. night. they always sit down for dinner and you. know take them out on bike rides every. day. she's working really hard and she. deserves everything she can get i'm. really proud of her. love to see what she's doing um. appreciate what you guys do over there. this past weekend peace gang baby thanks.

man that's a nice message man that's. nice you that you uh recognize those. things and see those things and. oh just care to share them with us man. so thank you for doing that. uh chico yeah let's hit up this young. lady right here alicia. elisha now that's a name right there. alicia. sound like a um piece of ice. hey alicia can you hear me yes. are you mad at me i don't know what this.

is well i'm not a bad guy i mean i'm not. a great guy i'm. semi-decent i think. but uh i just work on a podcast so. that's what i do. and i was raised by a single mom and so. sometimes on our podcast we have. listeners that call in and nominate. single moms for us to do something nice. for. so you have a friend named chico is his. name. and he seemed like a real decent man and. uh.

anyway he called in and nominated you. and uh. so we just wanted to send you 750 to do. something nice for. uh your kiddo one day so that's. really all this is really is this real. yeah unfortunately yeah i know we're. bothering you today and i am sorry about. that. but yeah he really did he just called. and left a a message and just said hey i. know this girl. and she is a hard worker and she spends. a lot of nice time. with her son and makes him meals and. they go on bike rides and.

you know i just really admire her and so. i wanted to nominate her. and so now we're just doing our part of. the responsibilities just to call you. and let you know. so you know chico or not i do. and tell me about him be honest about it. oh my gosh this is so awkward. yeah life's kind of awkward you know. he's a cool guy. is he sweet he's a good dad too.

oh nice yeah i don't think he's doing it. to be weird or anything i think he just. i think he just thought it would be a. nice gesture you know. yeah with your kiddo like you got a. little son huh. yeah i have a son what's he like pretty. he is. oh yeah he's very polite oh that's. nice that's my favorite thing is when. somebody says nice polite. polite things you know yeah.

is it fun raising him yeah. it's like i learn about myself while i'm. raising him too. and we pretty much have been growing. together. oh that's pretty cool yeah i think i got. to get me a child one of these days i'm. about ready to hatch something you know. what i'm saying. sure okay um. well that's it so i'll just have uh we. have a producer from our podcast who. will just reach out and then we'll just. you know uh just send you just a little.

gift and then you can. just be something fun you can do what. you know summertime's kind of coming. maybe. uh you guys could go do something fun. together if you want. sounds good thank you okay you're very. welcome and thank chico and i hope you. have a nice day. thank you you too okay bye bye. bye and maybe people skeptical you know. some people is skeptical. and that's okay maybe she's not. skeptical [ __ ] i.

she don't know me you know what i'm. saying if i saw some man called from a. damn mortuary. you've seen this place and dressed in a. damn waymatic shirt what is it you know. you know and wearing these pants. then i would definitely be skeptical as. well but that's okay that's a good mom. being skeptical. that's a good mom you know skeptical. first that's my motto baby you know that. so let's try we got one more uh.

nomination that came in let's check that. out right now. hey theo my name is jeremy i heard about. what you're doing with the single. mothers. much respect to you i think that's a. beautiful thing i was raised by a single. mother myself. and any chance we can to highlight. single mothers and how strong they. really are. i'm on board i'd like to nominate. desiree. i've known her since she was a young. girl i've watched her grown from a young. woman to a grown woman to a mother. and watching her raise her children or. her child.

after the loss of the father of the. child it's just a beautiful thing. and um if i can do anything to help her. i would. well thank you brother i appreciate you. putting her on our radar and uh. let's see if we can't give her a buzz. right now actually. hey desiree hello. where you at you at school still huh. where you at man it's hot. yeah it's hot everywhere it is it is. what the kids doing ah they just went.

back to class i have to. i don't get off until two i have like. like 15 minutes. you got 15 minutes yes oh we only need a. couple minutes girl. you know what i'm saying that's the kind. of guy i am you know what i'm saying. so i work on a podcast my name is theo. and i work on a podcast and we um. we have a section of our podcast where. our listeners will nominate single moms. and we'll reach out to them and they.

they'll just send in a video and a man. named jeremy sending a video. saying some really nice things about you. and how proud he is. uh to know you and that you're a single. mother. and so um we just wanted to reach out. and. and offer you just a gift because i was. raised by a single mom so we just want. to send you 750 bucks to go do something. nice with the kiddo this summer. what oh my god. so that's it that's it if you still got. the kiddo you still a single mom or not.

yeah yeah you know you can't live. without them and you can't live with it. yes my son is seven and he's in first. grade. oh that's beautiful does he go to your. school or no. yeah he's here at my school because it's. convenient so we get off at the same. time. and we go home do homework and spend. time today he has a baseball game so. we're gonna head to his baseball game. after this. oh nice what position is he playing yet. um he does pitcher and uh he loves first.

base and he's a catcher right now. oh yeah that's something well they got. him in some good positions they used to. put me out in the field out there eating. grass with them kids. right twirling around and stuff oh they. used to put me out there one kid got. lost out there i don't know where he's. at. um yeah it was a different time back. then. um so you're kidding he's seven years. old. yeah seven years old yes oh that's nice.

what does he like to do so he likes to. play baseball he must be pretty active. huh. keep him active he likes to play. baseball basketball. oh wow dang and where do you teach that. you're a teacher. yeah i'm a teacher listen i'm in school. i'm a teacher so i'm a full-time teacher. and i do school part-time and then you. know mother full-time and. all that all types of hats dang you got.

all the hats on huh. yes well well jeremy thinks the world of. you and we do too and we just wanted to. let you know that you know that uh. that even though sometimes probably. being a single mom might not seem like. people are thinking of you. we just wanted to let you know that. people are thinking of you. man let's bring me thomas bringing me. the tears no thank you this this is. really. this means a lot so thank you so much. thank you. oh you're welcome you're welcome we just.

want to let you know we out there. grinding with you you doing all the work. but we got your back that's all we say. you know hey you know and that's that's. right thank you guys so much and it's. who's cheering. back like you just said so thank you so. much well we certainly are and happy. early mother's day to you and you guys. have uh fun at the baseball game and um. i'll have my producer reach out and uh. and you guys go do something fun this. summer. okay no thank you so much theo thank you. and nice meeting you. yeah nice to meet you too it's a.

pleasure you look lovely today and i. hope you have a. good uh a good rest of the day okay. thank you sweetheart. bye bye bye man and that's beautiful to. see you know it's nice to see. uh just a smiling face. you know it's nice to see a mom smiling. you know that makes me feel good. you know i don't think you know my. mother was under a lot of stress. growing up and and i just nice to see a.

mom just. having some joy you know and that's what. this is all about man it's just those. moments of connection. you know and that's really what life is. about i think. as much as i want to isolate sometimes. and i want to get in my own space and i. want. and i think that that's the answer. you know i think if i can just. get this other little rest or this other. little separation or this other time to.

myself then i'll be. but it's it the thing that i it's a. trick. and this connection that we need. you know the opportunity even just the. opportunity to listen for 30 seconds for. a minute. about a mom who likes going to play see. her son play. pitcher first base catcher all some of. the skill positions when i was out there. and damn. left field and people was eating. mushrooms eating psychedelic mushrooms.

on accident out there. praise god but. but yeah there's just something warm. about it man. there's something. there's something. almost relieving about it. there's something almost relieving about.

just listening to uh having a. conversation with a. connecting with a with a with a with a. young lady. and hearing her just talk about how she. cares about her son and just how they. have a nice little time together. you know um. for both those ladies you know i thought. it was really sweet alicia said her son. is polite.

that's a man that's a nicest a little. polite kid man that's the nicest little. thing you know. because then man it just offers so many. other bridges to be built there when you. already have politeness out of the gate. so much opportunity for connection man. when one person is saying hey. um what else man that's all i got. you know that's all i got happy early. mother's day to you guys.

uh and father's day i know there's a lot. of single dads out there too that are. grinding and getting it done. and look we'll switch it over to you. guys one of these days. and run it up for the pops out there uh. but uh i'm excited to see some of y'all. on tour. and i'm just excited i'm just excited to. be a part of this podcast man. you know i'm staying busy and i'm. working just i'm just not giving up i'm. not giving up on myself. you know another week i'm not giving up. on myself.

and i might give up in certain moments i. might not win every moment but. i'm gonna do my best to win the day if i. can and i if i don't win every day i'm. gonna do my best to win the week you. know. uh and you can too you know and i know. that uh most of you are. and for those who aren't who are. struggling man uh. you know just hang in there. that's all you get you just gotta hang. in there that's the. thing you know life is a dog man but.

it's every part of a dog. you know and some parts will scratch it. some parts will bite you but some parts. is warm. some parts wag. hell some parts you get a little bit of. milk out of them you know what i'm. saying bro that's a different i mean. that's. only certain times but whatever you know. what i'm saying praise god baby. you guys be good to yourself man you. guys deserve it and on the way out today. we're going to listen to. uh josh kelly hold me my. lord and man this is josh kelly.

featuring. all voices in this one man it really. really. now it really does it for me you guys be. good baby gang. sing down the sun. here we go baby shine down your song. so that it might. breaking news tonight millions of. americans ordered a shelter in places.

there's turmoil at the cdc controversy. at the home the darkest of days. come on josh kelly's. holy holy holy lord holding my heart.

down on my knees asking you to hold me. [Music]. is. people in the country.

until i found. [Music]. to make way for a brand new star.

yes he did. [Music]. holy holy holy lord holding my heart. down.

call me my. [Music]. go.

[Applause]. please holy holy lord holding my heart. come on josh kelly. i'm down on my knees asking you to hold. me. hold me hold me with your loving.

is. [Music]. man he knows how to put it on the grill.

he sure does. you know he sure does know how to put it. on the grill that's josh kelly hold me. my lord. featuring all voices again.