Celeste Barber | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #499

today's episode was filmed when I was. down in the. Australia and she's probably one of the. biggest comedians uh in. Australia uh she's well known for her. viral Clips. online um she's hilarious her Netflix. show well Mania and she's currently. touring the us right now today's guest. is Celeste. Barber that on. [Music]. me I sit and tell you my.

stories. shout on. me and I will find a song I. [Applause]. sing 11 minutes ago my Australia New. Zealand tour went on sale way so I'm. just being a little bit of o noxious for.

30 seconds you want to check their stats. to make sure know that it has uploaded. because Instagram has become really. needy I don't know if you've noticed. yeah when you post mhm you got to keep. the app open for it to upload yeah you. can't just post and then walk away Renee. and it does its thing it's like it's. needy so let's make sure that it's up. well I'm just going to sit there with a. video of myself playing while I sit with. you and talk about. myself it's kind of the world we're in. it's like you will see somebody edit a.

photo of themselves and writing in their. diary at the same time you know yeah. yeah exactly it's really bizarre I. always said that to people when they're. about like press and stuff they're like. oh you know the Press are running [ __ ]. on me they're running [ __ ] on me and I'm. like I haven't I haven't seen it you're. in a [ __ ] Vortex of yourself right. yeah they're like oh no it's everywhere. and I'm like turn Google Alerts off on. yourself turn them off you don't need to. get Google Alerts about yourself every. [ __ ] 10 minutes you pull this in you. care restart or no no I don't don't care.

don't sorry I'm being I also have been. in a um hotel for four nights which. buckles my voice so I sound like a prey. person teenager why do you think the air. in there is bad or some the rooms are so. expensive maybe they put cheap air in. the room well yeah and just I need. natural air but when you know hotels are. fancy they don't um well some of them. are so expensive dude I've been in ones. where it's like it's so you're like I'm. not even going to sleep if I even blink. my eyes it's going to cost me.

absolutely I stayed yeah I remember the. first night I stayed in like a really. fancy place I stayed up all night I was. like I'm not going to waste the money. you're going to get paid to sleep. they're going to charge you to go to. sleep well I'm not yeah I came here to. [ __ ] use this place you know but also. um I even like I think I even I read one. of the books or. something in the started reading like a. couple chat just to get your money you. know it's like money's worth yeah you. want to get your money's worth I left. the water going for a couple hours I. remember do you um travel with anything.

specifically no just usually a little. bit of hairspray I guess but yeah just a. bit um what else do I like to have in my. room. water oh Powerade or. Gatorade butter couple butterscotches. what else do you like well when I travel. like in a hotel I have to take my pillow. I got to take my pillow with me yeah. I've become that girl but even with. water now I love it in the hotel I was. just in had some a couple bottles of. water and it said complimentary it's.

like yeah no [ __ ] it's [ __ ] water. yeah but they're like just pointing out. this bit complimentary yeah $5,000 a. [ __ ] night to stay here the least you. can do give me some complimentary. water yeah it's so true and sometimes. it'll say like $13 water that was. they'll have like the complimentary ones. like the little ones that that's like a. fimble of [ __ ] water and the little. ones sometimes are even like warmer. somehow it's like they.

they want it to seem like maybe it's. been already used once or something yeah. yeah you're not that special someone. else has run run this around their mouth. SP it back in. and for free some Lord has been using. this Seinfeld walked past this door now. you get to have free water and then. they'll have the the larger cool bottle. next to it it'll say like still water or. deceased water deceased water and it's. always in a sexy bottle it's like well I. don't want that shitty water I want this.

sexy water yeah and you have to. remortgage your house to [ __ ] pay for. it is this free water yeah yeah that's. free thank you that's free we'll come in. with a nicer one on a tray in a little. bit how much will that cost for dude you. know what's interesting about um Celeste. Baba sure nice to see you um wow you. drink kind of like a uh careful sry. sorry beautiful talented woman thank you.

so much also happy International women's. day is it today what do you [ __ ] mean. oh what do you mean I I knew it was this. year yeah well yeah once a year we get. it we're allowed to be ladies once a. year I'm so excited yeah are you. celebrating yeah this is it oh awesome. is international this is international. yes it is yeah and I'm excited to learn. about women in Australian women um yeah. cuz we've been here for a couple weeks. one thing it's interesting you guys call.

it a toilet that I think is really uh. what do you call it it's the bathroom. right oh yes yeah yeah toilet is way. more accurate I was realizing because. yeah nobody like bathes in there you. don't ever go in there and there's. somebody like you know right you mean. like at a rest Singing in the Rain J. Kelly's just sitting in there singing. you walk in there and there's an Indian. guy just like do you want some bubble. bath you know so toilet is way more. accurate I really appreciate apprciate. that I appreciate the accuracy of things.

here actually that is yeah that's true. when I'm in the states I have been you. know in a restaurant or whatever and I'm. like I we about this your toilet or I. say if you guys got a toilet and they're. like yes like I'm like where is it. they're like oh the rest room is over. there all right they're like why are you. being so specific but even restro is. it's like if you walked in there and. somebody was sleeping like just Goldie. locking in there under the sinks or. whatever you would be so alive if just. full of people with nopy just chilling.

out there like at the koala Park yes. have you done the whole koala Park thing. we went there a lot of them. look I want to say kind of semi Korean I. want to say a little bit um they're. beautiful animals a lot of them are. definitely unemployed it look like if. you go in the one area where they're all. just sleeping in the [ __ ] branches or. whatever yeah did you touch one uh no I. didn't touch one wait a did you say them.

where did you go and we went to um the. Brisbane um Forest Hills not a cemetery. what's it called uh no Sanctuary like a. it's no it's not a cemetery yeah. Sanctuary yeah weird that would be. [ __ ] weird um it's just a Ouija board. and they're like we promise you're. petting it yeah and out and kaas are now. endangered species in Australia after. the Hideous bush fires we had yeah so. when you said that I was like oh God God.

that's heartbreaking my favorite animal. they're the [ __ ] I know that's really. cliched but a few years ago I got to. hold one and it was just it was. unbelievable her name was Lucy and I. [ __ ] fell in love with that they're. really heavy and really dense so they. kind of cling but then they turn like. really they can kind of turn they've got. um they're really horny yeah when. they're on heat they were like chasing. after my husband oh yeah the Irish yeah.

and I'm like [ __ ] back off yeah exactly. like the Irish oh the Irish are the only. humans that I feel like get in heat and. they just can't handle it you know. you'll see them rubbing up against a. damn hydrant in the street where have. you been in Ireland huh where have you. been oh Irish are everywhere yeah. they'll pop up anywhere but on the. internet they have a lot of videos of. Irish hydrant action or whatever um I. have not seen a lot of that now at the. at the park we went to they had they. there was an instance there's a lot of. kangaroos right mhm and a lot of them.

are I don't want to say opiates have hit. the area or whatever but there's a lot. of them that are resting a lot right. just yeah lounging but that's what you. want you don't want to be near them when. they're not chilled they they'll knock. you the [ __ ] out like they're incredible. so you want to be around the ones that. are chilled in the restroom. okay and then there was one that got up. I don't know if he wanted a midnight. snack or what yeah he was like waiting. to meet the dealer it felt like like he. was right he was huge he had a watch on.

which I thought was kind of crazy cple. chains he had a whoop bracelet on um his. tail had a uh was like diamond encrusted. like he was like the final boss it felt. like like called everyone [ __ ] he was. that guy I know that guy yeah oh he. called me a at one point I was like okay. we'll bleep that out but he did okay um. I felt horrible I was like Jesus is this. what does he know about me that I don't.

know you know yeah I don't have a wife. but come on guy um anyway oh being in. Australia and nice to be in your country. what other words are weird restroom for. you restroom uh you guys the the. audiences are more nonchalant here yeah. we kind of don't care yeah yeah it's. interesting like you'll come out on. stage and they they no maybe a couple. people get up you know yeah it's so. different in America I've noticed that.

when I'm over there on stage it's the. first I reckon 5 seven minutes I'm like. calm the [ __ ] down like sit down and. then I can talk to you it's just it's. bananas but here in Australia kind of. walk out everyone's like all right [ __ ]. prove it what do you got oh is that what. they're thinking yeah we have this thing. like a tall poppy syndrome in Australia. where you get too big we'll come we'll. Cut You Down we'll bring you back down. to earth oh like that portray us like. who was that Runner that guy. who shot killed his wife was that here.

no that is not us that. is yeah no he was [ __ ] horrible that. was horrible that whole thing no he's. not Australian he's South African oh. yeah I [ __ ] hope if he's not don't. run that because that's [ __ ] if I say. that that gu South African. yeah second he started getting fast my. clip you got to work for it here oh. really yeah that's fair yeah we don't um. celebrity culture where are we at Oscar.

Bor is granted parole after serving 10. years for the murder of Reva Steen Camp. wow 10 years isn't [ __ ] enough I. agree especially on International. women's day [ __ ] hell South African. per which is just one day remember just. today yeah and I vote give them a couple. days yeah right even just like a day and. a half like [ __ ] off and they gave you. what is today a Wednesday Thursday it's. Friday oh it is Friday yeah but give the.

hey give these [ __ ] a Saturday I know. imagine if he gave us a Sunday no we. need to small steps Guys small steps the. peace bring that back up South African. paralympian Oscar P stories has been. granted appr effective January 5th 2024. after serving 10 years for the 2013. murder of his girlfriend Ras camp known. as the Blade Runner for his carbon fiber. prosthetic legs he went from a public. hero to a convicted killer wow that. would be so so crazy getting out of jail.

[ __ ] hell that guy needs to go back. in huh 2013 I didn't know that was that. yeah he needs to absolutely go back in. the parole hearing took place at the. adage correctional center near the. capital Petoria where Pistorius has. served the majority of his sentence what. and what is he doing now tell me he's. not running again is he just he's trying. to shut down International women's day. that's for sure that's for damn sure he. is and he I'm not going to let him no. Miss stin Cam's parents gave an. interview to a British newspaper in. February for the 10th anniversary of. their daughter's death and said that. they had not for given Pistorius no me.

either yeah me neither that guy seemed. like he just was gross yeah oh up to no. good no God anyway I really that was. shouldn't have talked about that that's. anyway horny koalas um you're going in. the states so you have a US tour yeah. have a US tour what does that feel like. it's a lot going to another country and. touring it is a lot I just find touring. a lot I find the whole thing a lot it's. a lot yeah but most of my audience is in. the states so and most of the money's in.

the state is it so yeah so I go and do. that I I go my first show is May 2nd for. Netflix is a joke in la oh wow opening. night of the festival on stage at the. same time as Seinfeld down the road so I. reckon six people will be at my show I. don't know Seinfeld's getting older it's. like I'd go to Seinfeld yeah I'm fun. what if you're at. Seinfeld sign up on stage sorry yeah 100. me down the road a legend I think it. just dep yeah there's just different. there's so many different audiences now. now right yeah you know the internet.

right it makes everything so much bigger. and smaller do you feel like cuz a lot. of your popularity came off the internet. right like a lot of uh same for me right. like a lot of like are people seeing me. right because it's it's just getting. eyeballs to see you so um did you feel. like you had to like you had to make. that up when you get on the stage. because sometimes it's scary I feel like. if you get the publicity before yeah you. were you got to back it up right yeah no. I absolutely that I kind of I it was.

really important to me that I bridged. that Gap Because the Internet is free. right so you know you got millions of. followers but doesn't [ __ ] cost them. anything so how many followers do you. you know Point are people people like I. love you I love you cuz you're free. [ __ ] and you're on my in my hand when. I'm on the toilet I'm good but then I. wanted to see how that translated and it. translated very well you know sold out. shows but I I really wanted to prove my. strength cuz I trained as an actor that.

was always my thing but I started the. Instagram stuff because I couldn't get a. [ __ ] job yeah so I did that and then. you know it blew up and I I didn't want. to just yeah like you say just kind of. be on stage and people be like oh you. better here so I I wanted to make sure. that it translates well it's so funny to. say that there's something scary in a. way I thought about this about people. coming to see you live cuz you're like. if they already like me. then all I'm doing is risking them not.

liking me absolutely and it's [ __ ]. there's something that's kind of like. harrowing about it like there's there's. times where I'm like gosh I. just if they already like me I'm maybe. we're good yeah like what the [ __ ] am I. doing why am I yeah it's like will they. like me and now I'm going to do a tour. to see if they really like me that's. [ __ ] masochistic like what is that. like prove it prove it that you like me. yeah you know cuz the parodies and stuff.

are do on Instagram at first people like. are you just going to kind of come on. stage and then just like change into. different costumes so I thought you. know it's that tricky thing of going. well do I give an already excellent. strong audience more of what I've. already given them and what it seems. like they want or do I give them what I. think would be a better show so you know. like what the [ __ ] do you do there I. know it's scary yeah and then you just. keep [ __ ] going out and doing it and.

again you know you sell a show you sell. a tour goes really well and you're like. oh cool they do like me but it's not. enough so now I'm doing another [ __ ]. tour and now I'm panicking about that. like what is that that we do this it's. it's so masochistic just stop just start. selling. water yeah yeah make money that way stop. making things hard for yourself Celeste. yeah stop making things hard for. yourself yeah I wonder there's. definitely I have this thing like I want. to make sure that I get to see every.

like I'll go to all the mar like I'll. try and go perform at all the markets. like some people will go to the big city. I'll go to like as like I mean I can't. you can't go to like towns really but. there's like fantasy in my head where. I'm just on a bus like and we just set. up a tent and we do the show in a town. just like I just want to get every I. want to yeah I want to interact with. everybody you want to reach everybody. but the the weird thing is we do on our. phone. I know I guess it's so ridiculous but I.

have I think I have this romantic. version this old school version you know. yeah absolutely that I romanticize. sometimes um have you done a tour bus do. you do tour buses I've done a tour bus. oh we've tried everything we tried the. motorcycle with the little thing on the. side of it [ __ ] hell oh we tried that. and I was like sitting there just. holding a box of like t-shirts for merch. yeah some caps some yeah we tried the. Campa van like a family Campa you know. that you rent it's like $19 a day and. his face just like a cage oh yeah and.

they don't go up hills like yeah you got. to jump out and kind of [ __ ] push it. up there's nothing in there it's like an. Anytime Fitness basically it's like an. Anytime Fitness on Wheels there's like. two kettle bells in there and then. there's just some like [ __ ] Chevy. Chase just sitting in the. front and some dangerous man complaining. that the water fountain's broken you. know how many people did you tour around. with um my tour manager Tim um and then. two comedians usually yeah it so it's a. pretty small group but then if you get a.

produ like if you start to go into. places where you have to bring. production and then you have to bring. like then there's other people that come. but they are more of like the production. side maybe but it's pretty interesting. it's pretty interesting just to see it. and learn yeah um it's kind of scary. though some of the responsibility I. think just with touring it's like once. you're like. okay I'm really going to go do this yeah. I'm this guy now yeah yes yeah now I'm. I'm and it's supposed to be fun we did a. tour bus 2018 massive [ __ ] Tool Bus.

it had 12 bunks in it oh yeah had a. [ __ ] massive bedroom out the back and. it was me and my best friend/ tour. manager and it was like a Janet Jackson. backup dancer [ __ ] bus and we just. ran a muck on it it was so fun wow and. you went all across Australia no all. around America no we don't do tour buses. here cuz it's too W big the country is. too big yeah no we did it all through. America [ __ ] Wicked I love tour bus. costs a though yeah it's expensive kind.

of came out of a sold out World Tour I. was like have I broken even and my. manager's like that [ __ ] bus that you. wanted that bust you idiot but otherwise. you're like walking or you're on a. donkey you're donkeys lots of donkeys. the last tour I did. 2022 I did 80 shows in three months wow. like a [ __ ] idiot oh like a [ __ ]. idiot and we were just pling so we were. just travel day was a show day travel. day like averaged about 16 hours in.

every place it's so hard [ __ ] yeah and. you. forget how much I need Creature Comforts. like get to a point where you're like. why am I still navigating how [ __ ]. doors work cuz you're in a different. place every time so some doors a push. some run into like it's so so discom you. think the government get their [ __ ]. together and I don't want to say. anything NATO or whoever the group you. know sure NAACP I don't know who does it. but whoever. [ __ ] make one door right how [ __ ].

hot is it Outlaw some of those like the. some of those hinges are kind of I don't. want to say I don't know what they are. they're just they're bisexual I think. okay I was going to say they're [ __ ]. okay well I just mean some of them are. willing to do anything you know this. thing yeah and they're also super [ __ ] I. know we need on International women's. day let's get some [ __ ] women making. doors I reckon and they'll swing when we. need them to swing yeah I like that yeah.

we need some [ __ ] women's doors. huh we need doors for women. only women's [ __ ] doors it's about. time in America they they there's a lot. of women that will say that there's like. a male glass ceiling on Comedy and stuff. do you hear that here or no do you feel. like it's just oh a glass yeah for. absolutely not a male oh what glass. ceiling but nobody says that the glass. ceiling is made out of men you know what. I'm saying no no we know that though we. know that you know cuz it's yeah it's. been made by men good luck well done.

with that though all those glass. ceilings are made by the same person. they should get into the [ __ ] doors. does it feel like that in the like in. the Australia comedy scene I guess. because I don't know the scene that much. I have some friends here who are. comedians but I is knowing the scene is. totally different you know yeah look I I. started as an actor I've always been. funny but I'm not I'm not like a. comedian that's been gigging for 25. years you know what I mean doing the. 3:00 a.m. slot and all that sort of so I. kind of came up perform acting so it's.

kind of a different Avenue and. Australia's really different to the. states like we don't have comedy clubs. on every corner we have a handful of. clubs we have like Open Mic nights at. pubs or bars but it's not it's nowhere. near as big as it is in the states I did. notice that when I got to. America I went into a comedy club there. and I walked into the dressing room few. years ago and I was like reckon we could. take that massive life-size photo of.

Bill Cosby down is that cool and they. were like yeah we can it's kind of like. drilled in and I [ __ ] ripped it off. the wall and shoved it behind the toilet. it's like yeah yeah haven't been asked. back there it's fine some of they don't. want you to see it some of them they're. just they're loss I'll say yeah yeah. they're obviously into a different type. of Entertainer and I play theaters now. so it's fine and he's obviously a. hypnotist yeah that's yeah misunderstood. I think they say f no C me what if he.

just said what if that had been his what. if that had been his defense in court. I'm just guys F I'm just a really bad. hypnotist [ __ ] hell so crazy has he. died I don't think he just went back out. on tour I think no he didn't I think. Nick schon's touring with him on on. International women's day he's just. jumped back out on tour is that what. just happened are you telling me that. his [ __ ] tour went on sale the same. day mind did on International women's. day [ __ ] you so people but people can go. see so all your just your Australia New.

Zealand tour went on but America's on. sale yeah so I'm in America May June and. you start with the Netflix Festival. Netflix festival and then Phoenix and. over to Washington and then [ __ ] around. for a bit It's tricky because I'm based. here I got a family here I got a life. here so yeah I'm trying uh this will be. the third fourth time I've done a world. tour and I'm still trying to figure out. the best way to do it I don't know like. the last one I did I was saying you know. I did a heap of shows cuz I was like.

just cram the [ __ ] in so I can just. go get it all done and then get home but. that was too it's like still six or so. weeks without seeing my kids and I just. finished filming a show down here I. don't live in Sydney I live North so I. was away from them they had 3 days to. build the show and then take it onto it. so that was all bananas so this time I'm. trying to. do like a couple of weeks and then we're. going to have a week off so the family. will come over will hang out in Mexico.

and then I'll go back out for like 3. weeks but it's just it's hard to kind of. navigate that it's hard being like a mom. and all that but living on the other. side of the world is really it's hard. cuz most of my audience is in America. yeah I mean my only child is my own. depression usually and I've just that's. I've got her as well don't worry but. it's like outside of that little. [ __ ] I don't have to you know. everything's pretty like I can't even. imagine with a family um and that goes. with you everywhere as well you can't.

even leave her at home if you want to. goess so how many children do you have I. have two that came of came out of me but. I also have two stepdaughters that I've. had for 20 years in Cinderella are those. stepter am Cinderella I am yeah I'm. Cinderella of course I've had the girls. since they were two and four they're now. 21 and 23 okay so they're not at the. house like asking for sandwiches and all. oh [ __ ] no at when the eldest Ka turned. a. I kicked the door in happy birthday.

thanks I went yeah get out so what do. you mean I went consider yourself raised. get the [ __ ] out out I love you out and. she was like happy to like yeah get out. I'm done I'm going open this women's. door for you yeah exactly watch it goes. both ways look at. that um yeah so but now you have new. Offspring yeah I got two little dudes I. got wow a 9-year-old who turns 10 on. Monday and a 12-year-old two boys and do. they think it's interesting that you're.

this funny lady like what is their. concept of their mother as a comedian do. they have that do they have a concept of. it or I think they S no not I think they. see it as my. job I will say though that my 12 year. old my kids are really [ __ ] funny too. like I don't think anything's funny and. I think they're [ __ ] funny oh yeah. it's really cool so now that you know. he's. 12 he he's kind of it a bit more he'll. like I'll say something to my husband.

and he'll over here and he'll be like oh. Mom I'm like yeah [ __ ] welcome like I'm. a massive deal get on board it's great. yeah so they yeah they kind of oh must. be cool when your if your kid start. saying and your your kid starts. entertaining you kind of low key that. must be pretty freaking interesting. because then it's like oh I made that. absolutely yeah but then when they're. really annoying I'm like I [ __ ] did. that too oh yeah like I. see you know a lot of myself obviously. them and I'm like yeah that's going to.

be tricky for you mate I went through. that that's that's going to be hard for. you that awkward yeah that's crazy oh. growing up is so awkward like do you. remember whenever you got breast or. whatever like always had them I was born. with them were you really yeah it was a. baby with tits W it feels like it hold. on some politician will fing bed on you. um okay um wow and he's about to hit. puberty my boy it's a yeah it's a start. to change the furniture around the house.

or anything you put up like a scratching. post I come to Sydney for a month and I. say to my husband [ __ ] sucked in. enjoy that or I ask him a lot I'm like. he's been in the bathroom for ages is. this a thing and he's like just chill. it's fine so he's peeing yeah he's PE. he's actually peeing I'm like I don't. know if he he's getting a really deep. pee out yeah just walk past his his. bedroom like you got to get him a. scratching post or something like one of. those cat posts you know like oh yeah. true wish yeah a lot more parents should.

do stuff like that or get some breast. that you nail onto the wall or something. but isn't that what boys do don't they. just sort it out themselves I don't want. to in some tribes um the brother will. teach. the CH the younger brother how to. masturbate so it's like doesn't seem. like a shameful thing it seems like this. is a way that things are done in our. culture you know yeah right are those. tribes also in.

Island I'm not sure they could be I. don't know if it's again if it's a Tor. thing in all my experience you boys just. figure it the [ __ ] out but you don't. though that's the problem you just go. out into the woods or you go into like. some Corner go out to the woods or you. hide in the hamper at a friend's house. you know that was the big in their mom's. bathroom just 100% we had this one kid. bro if you ever needed him he was in he. was in my one buddy had a hot mom he was. in their hamper all the time oh my God.

crack it open he'd be in there oh God. just you got a [ __ ] up mate just. making organic beverages dude that guy. was a real dirt ball and he still is. honestly I think he's buying bars um I. want to update everybody that uh we had. a. lawsuit from Kai The Hitchhiker you. might be familiar um and finally. it has taken seven months but Morgan and.

Morgan help get our case. dismissed so thank you Morgan and Morgan. and that's what it is Kai That's the Law. if you're ever injured you can check out. Morgan and Morgan Morgan and Morgan is. America's largest injury Law Firm they. have over 100 offices Nationwide and. more than 800 lawyers with over $15. billion recovered from over 300,000. clients Morgan and Morgan has a proven.

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Festival speaking of Comedy festivals. was going out of business did you go. ever go with that I did Montreal a. couple of times yeah yeah I only heard. that the other day 2024 just for last. Comedy Festival cancelled company seeks. credit or protection. wow um K keep scrolling is that just in. Montreal cuz we have one in Australia we. have in Sydney JF has that been canceled. good question the Montreal company that.

operates the just for last Comedy. Festival has canceled the 2024 edition. of the event wow so 20124 Montreal is. cancelled which when is sorry what I'm. learning things today when is it usually. on I should know I've played it I. believe it's in like a few months right. so that's late to cancel like is. everyone [ __ ] that they must have made. just realize it's not going to work a. formal process under candada is um has. canceled the 2024 addition to the event. after filing a notice of intention to. make a proposal to creditors 75 people.

were laid off Tuesday morning according. to a festival spokesperson who called. the company's financial situation. unsustainable yeah festivals are tricky. the company cited lost revenues during. the two years of the global pandemic and. challenges facing the media industry. particularly reduced budgets at networks. and streaming platforms as reasons for. restructuring wow it's kind of wild when. things like that start to go away um but. I think like things like Just for Laughs. they're not as much of a launching pad.

for entertainment anymore for for. comedians you know and they're not a. it's not a money-making vehicle like I. don't and I've always found it quite. weird I don't really do festivals again. CU you know I didn't come up through. standup but that idea of going there's. 300 shows on over 4 days yes too much in. two two streets two. blocks and each comedian's got to try. and push their own [ __ ] show up. against that like I didn't I always. found it kind of a weird and I know so.

many of my mates do those Festival like. it's [ __ ] impossible to sell try and. sell out even you know 300 seats it's. impossible because my mate's down the. street it's just yeah it's really hard. it's like every venue in the world is. selling tickets on the same night it. almost does seem kind of ridiculous it's. like what if all your major sports teams. played on the same night exactly well. they'd never do that with sport no not. sacred sport. but with the Arts and comedy [ __ ].

hell figure it out you weirdos we don't. give a [ __ ]. sport we went to uh Sydney Swans game. yesterday good like it yeah it was cool. AFL yeah AFL it's like soccer and rugby. kind of a little bit it's um yeah Rugby. Union do you mean not rugby league I. don't know I couldn't tell what this. it's kind of an interesting sport you. can't tell what sport it is it seems. like like they're trying to play every. sport at once and they're incredible.

like I don't really follow AFL but when. I do see it and you know talking to. people who love it they're they're. incredible [ __ ] athletes they just. never stop just pinning it around yeah. and throwing and kick it like it's not. you run you stop you sit you go again. like it's nonstop it's amazing to watch. yeah kind of has like a Saker aspect cuz. it keeps moving um do your boys play. sports or no yeah my oldest boy loves. rugby league but I've pulled him well.

he's not going to do it for a year he. wants to you know get his [ __ ] together. so we started doing Rugby Union instead. I [ __ ] hate it what is rugby union. what's the difference um oh could. someone else bring this up here we go. rugby. league. is I don't know how to describe the. difference because if you watch it it. looks very similar there's everyone. listening who knows Sports is going to. be like this [ __ ] trying to tell us. about [ __ ] Union listen up fellas. this is how it is no it's International. women's day um you're good well I know.

I'm bored because it's sport but um well. there you go did you play sports when. you were growing up no really I danced. you did yeah you're a trained dancer. sure not trained but like as a kid dance. you know up for every every day of my. life up until I was 16 [ __ ] loved it. oh it's beautiful well my main goal in. life was to be a Janet Jackson backup. Daner oh I love her so much God it's so. beautiful yeah I have never met met her. before I've had dreams where I've met um.

Tito Jackson OH how'd that. go yeah it was like at a recovery. meeting but I still got to meet I got. introduced to him twice in these dreams. yeah yeah right it's very specific yeah. now I'm obsessed with Janet I saw her. 1998 velvet rape tour in Brisbane uh-uh. changed my [ __ ] life where were you. at uh where was my seat like Ros Z seat. 87 would had a better seat in the. [ __ ] car park I didn't care Chang. what were you wearing just your young.

breast yeah just baby tits and. jeans I don't know if we can say that we. probably won't say that I reckon I mean. I I'm happy to stay for the edit if that. helps I'm available all of a. sudden no I'm obsessed with her and but. even more so her backup dances yeah cuz. it's so much to be a backup dancer. because you're right there you're right. on the cusp of the star you're smelling. their [ __ ] breath yeah but if they. fart you're in it absolutely but you.

need to know your place yeah so you need. to know that when Janet breaks off from. the group and does her thing that's when. you can go and you know [ __ ] go ham. but when she comes back you got to make. sure you fall in line I think a lot. about Taylor Swift's backup dancers I. think about them a lot I went and saw. her a few weeks ago you did yeah and did. you go alone no I took my 9-year-old. niece beautiful. yeah I'm pretty amazing do you think.

some women win. alone no no I think I think people went. in [ __ ]. Cults together to that and with their. CAU [ __ ] hell no I don't think there. was anyone there alone and if they went. alone they didn't leave alone like it. was a lot but I think about her backup. dances cuz she's on tour at the moment. biggest tour in history and Beyonce's on. tour biggest tour in history and you. just [ __ ] know that Taylor Swift.

backup dancers also auditioned for that. Beyonce. tour that's that's tough there's a lot. of skipping around they come out on push. bikes they bring out pumpkins and do. like lurgical it's a it's like you don't. notice half the [ __ ] they do next thing. you know one of them yeah just has like. a um they'll have a stuffed animal. they'll have a bassinet 100% you know. one of them will have a drum one of them. will be just you know Landing their ass. on the other one or something just and. before you know it it just they they. have to keep it moving but you re I.

really noticed it and I really noticed. the backup dances when Taya would dance. with them I'm like oh that's I might. want to recor. that and be right there and Taylor's. unbelievable I'm obsessed with her I. think she's incredible is she a. dancer no mate she's not a dancer but. she is a hype woman yeah and she dances. in front of 100,000 people the way that. I used to dance in my bedroom alone when. I was nine and I have [ __ ] respect. for that that's what I think it is I. think even when you see her just like at.

other shows you see her dancing you see. her having a good time she all teeth and. elbows yeah but you go great I love that. for you yeah those backup dances you can. tell they're like you think some of them. like that could be me do you think some. of them have to leave the tour cuz their. ego gets too big that must happen re I. reckon some of them have to do a drop in. dance class once a week just to really. hone their craft because they're not. getting it on stage yeah they have to. dumb it down almost huh maybe yeah you. got to be careful what you say about.

Taylor cuz the swifties will come for. you and no I'm just saying skin you. alive really are they I'm not worried. for you I'm [ __ ] worried for. me you talked about tits on a baby. you're already [ __ ] I go for. Taylor I don't think we should yeah no. that's look I'm okay with a lot of. surgeries I don't think that's one of. them no Taylor I'm yeah I think she's. great I just don't know if she's a. dancer some of the stuff you see at the. shows is you will see a lot of people. filming their child trying to get their.

child onto like yeah look Taylor this is. little Dino or whatever Phoebe yeah yeah. you know yeah this is Chloe and she's. your you know and biggest fan biggest. fan and she's like eating a bowl of. [ __ ] glitter or something tears and. resentment three and a half hour concert. wow [ __ ] hell that's a. lot I went to the bathroom at one point. and I can't came back to my niece and I. said oh Taylor's she got changed during.

this song and my niece went uh no it's a. different song and I went it's [ __ ]. not it's all the same I thought it was. the same song she's like no it's a. completely different song oh yeah yeah I. was so high one time I went to Green Day. and the opening band performed and I. thought that was Green Day and I was who. was the opening band Du leapa or. something probably somebody yeah I think. it was like changy or something oh wow. did you leave after it that was great on. my way that was great there's heaps of.

cabs available like in Uber this is. awesome I was on my way out um what else. is going on oh yeah so one thing that. people love about you obviously so much. is just like like bucking like the. beauty Trend and like taking on Beauty. in like such a ridiculous way is it like. Beauty kind of or is it just like what. is like the fulcrum of like what you. feel like you kind of like like to. pinpoint. because you have so many videos of of. [ __ ] that's like yeah like somebody in.

the rain drinking a so just like things. it's like that normally they make it. look all sexy and erotic you know and. you just kind of make it look like real. humans like what if we all did this yeah. I think because kind of like Taylor. Swift's dancing exactly the same Taylor. and I are the same we're exactly the. same but like can dance um I think just. that whole idea. of. unrealistic ideals of Wom women being. sold as realistic yeah like before.

social media you know you get a magazine. or whatever you see in the media. magazine drawing or something yeah. you're like oh it's Cindy Crawford being. [ __ ] amazing she's on a motorbike on. in a bikini on an Empire State Building. drinking a Pepsi you know what that is. it's an edited thing and that's what. it's been sold as then kind of social. media came out and similar ideas are. being pushed but it like this is what I. look like dropping the kids off at.

school or like this is my morning. routine and it's 4:00 a.m. and she's in. a bikini and she's doing yoga on a beach. she's got a green juice and the kids are. you know gorgeous and just doing school. drop off I'm like [ __ ] that's not what. [ __ ] school drop off looks like yeah. that that idea of it being sold is it. just it's trash it's it's just you know. what it's [ __ ] hard because then when. you get it on your phone and you already. hate yourself. and it's 3:00 a.m. and you're. breastfeeding your child who won't.

[ __ ] breastfeed but you have to. breastfeed them because if you don't. breastfeed them you're a [ __ ] mom you. may as well give them a [ __ ] meth. pipe cuz that's something else we have. to be doing and he's also 11 which is a. little crazy exactly and he [ __ ]. hates you yeah and you're scrolling. through your phone and then you see. these images and they get into that. psyche I was like that's [ __ ] oh. yeah it's like why do I have to feel bad. suddenly already feel bad but at least I. could put the [ __ ] magazine down or. turn the [ __ ] TV off yeah and then we. get these. and you put that down you'll [ __ ].

explode and they just peppered and I was. like no I call [ __ ] to that I call. absolute [ __ ] I still do yeah and. then here's the worst part is I think. that then your brain starts to feel bad. or something then you release some like. thing into your breast milk and now your. kid [ __ ] feels bad you know yeah. absolutely your kids's all [ __ ]. pissed or whatever some chick with no. kids is [ __ ] you know showing her and. you're a toaster oven or whatever making. breakfast yeah exactly she's not making.

that breakfast um but I also wanted to. show the other like I'm sure there are. people out there that do Sail on a yacht. to drop their kids off to school in. bikinis and incredible but not. everyone's like that and that's not. represented it's not represented so kind. of true huh why don't we get afraid I. think to share whatever is probably. really real I guess I think it's. shifting though. yeah and I think maybe because it's.

boring it's not aspirational and we have. to. constantly especially you know in the. public eye or in the media got to be. aspirational someone asked me in an. interview I say what's next you you got. a world tour you're doing this you're. doing that so I'm going to lie the [ __ ]. down yeah that's what I want to do I. want to try and figure out how to live. one day without anxiety and sleep for. longer than 4 hours like that's a goal. of mine doesn't always have to be I'm.

going to do this I'm going do that I'm. going to do this and that's the stuff. with social media too yeah well I think. there's it definitely creates a world of. like I have to do something else yeah. what's next what's next because people. have seen it next seen it next seen it. even like in TV now with streamers. consume television on streaming services. the way we consume Tik Tok and we and. this is one of the crazy things that. happen you start to not even value you. don't even realize how much production.

goes into television stuff so people. don't even value it as much anymore they. value it as like if this doesn't get my. attention pretty quick or I'm not in I. move on it's almost like you scroll past. it and to think that that much. production and time and creativity and. everything would go into a program and. you would just scroll right past it it's. one of the reasons I think why like even. JFL and saying that there's problems. because there's just tightening budgets.

at all those places because they they. can't figure out how to make it um where. people are sticking around you know yeah. and people want everything for free but. that's that's you. know that's what the industry and you. know Society social media all that sort. of stuff is put out there it's like if. you don't binge this show in two days. you're [ __ ] idiot because we got 40. other shows that are coming up that. everyone else is watching so you have to. you have to kind of to keep up yeah. watching it and if you don't well then. aren't you a loser how dare you watch.

one episode a day [ __ ] that's the. whole the whole thing and then it. totally who cares if your children can't. read you need this [ __ ] second. episode of giselda you little [ __ ]. Bridget and 65 is coming out you're not. onto it yet yeah and that's I think that. really dilutes the quality of what we. see because Brien for example you watch. that it drops and you binge it in 2 days. and then everyone loves it and they're.

like you have to make another one so. instead of going all right well let's go. and develop some scripts we'll get some. writers out oh we're going to you know. what draft do you usually shoot on oh. 10th draft [ __ ] that second draft. shooting draft go go Elizabeth needs. yellow fever or whatever the characters. are absolutely dilute the quality of it. put Bridgeton in a [ __ ] coma and. let's [ __ ] keep it moving episode one. but episode two [ __ ] bring them out. keep going yeah start to lose quality. because we want things so fast yeah it.

used to be it's you know it's always. been a tough industry and challenging I. kind of like that about it but it's. [ __ ] brutal now like and what is the. acting side yeah trying to get that. seems impossible trying to like I had a. show on Netflix that went really well it. [ __ ]. killed yeah it went really. well and it didn't get renewed and I and. and they said because of numbers but the. numbers were really good you just have.

to keep up and it's you can only control. that so much and a lot of these people. making those choices have no idea or. accountants they're well they are just. PE yeah they're they have no idea what's. cool and that's one of the also one of. the things that I do like about people. being able to make their own content um. and have their own voice is because. those people thought they knew. everything yeah and they don't know [ __ ].

and now their old festivals are falling. apart their networks are making [ __ ]. that nobody's paying attention to um I. think it's uh I think it's part of the. problem I mean I'm probably a little. jaded too you know similar thing. happened to me but it's like um they. tried to get so wo I don't know in the. US like The Comedy Central got so woke. and everything they put on people that. weren't even [ __ ] comedians making. show it was just like and it and then. now they'll like give they they want to.

come and offer you like $500 to come. make a show with them like get [ __ ] yeah. like yeah with your special absolutely. they're like we're going to give you 16. cents for your special like the one that. I sold out worldwide and made a [ __ ] ton. of money on you can't have that I know. you can't have that um yeah was that did. did that feel kind of scary because I. guess when you're an actor you getting a. show is such a huge thing huh it was. awesome I [ __ ] loved it it was so. watch it I haven't seen it I just saw. that you I know that you did it and. that's all I know I was executive.

producer on it as well which I [ __ ]. loved really did you get one of those. little chairs with a black back on it no. I didn't [ __ ] hell I should have got. that oh well I got an ego though a. massive ego from it I just loved it I. was you know it was a show that was. built around me was a it's a was a dream. situation it was a book oh that was then. turned into a show and they wanted to. build it around me and had awesome. people on it and we made it and [ __ ]. Wicked I loved it I love I loved the.

story as well love being a woman 41 now. you know on screen being big and loud. and flawed and annoying and weird and. exciting and you know before we're. talking about audiences and people come. up to me the street just like women. they're like I [ __ ] saw myself in. that character we don't see that much. right and so I love that so I really. really would have loved to have extended. that and given more to that story and. seen more in that character as well as.

being the lead in a [ __ ] show for a. second season an executive producer like. I'm not hiding that I enjoyed that yeah. so the whole experience was awesome well. it sounds like it I I I want to go back. and watch it I like some Australian. shows I like Bondi rescue and I like um. you know Chris Lily shows yeah um have. you've seen all of his stuff like from. the beginning I think I've seen. everything the problem is well Netflix. took half of their they used to have it.

up have you seen Summer Heights High. yeah and have you seen weekend be heroes. stop looking at my. dick yeah [ __ ] you miss sorry for say. [ __ ] you miss Mr G Mr G um oh it's so. good she's a naughty girl with a bad. habit a bad habit for. drugs ecstasy ecstasy I [ __ ] love him. did you see we can be heroes um that was. his first one we can be no it's we have.

Australian of the year in Australia yes. I have I have seen it it's at a it takes. place at a school as well well it's all. again different characters all over. Australia who are nominated to be. Australian of the year and he plays all. of them it's worth watching have to go. back and watch find it for sure it's. yeah yeah the only place I can find some. Tai was on like YouTube in like and it's. somebody else watching it on their. television and then putting the are yeah. very Vietnam. it where was it was it on Netflix no. this was on YouTube it used to be.

somewhere good but remember they tried. to cancel him here that was the dumbest. [ __ ] ever he's a [ __ ] Legend Chris is. hilarious yeah I don't know I kind of. dropped off after summer height tie for. no [ __ ] reason I just I didn't really. see much of that stuff after that so. good hang on yes I did what was he year. 12s and um. knan night those brothers [ __ ] that was. funny. knif screaming and he's next to me and.

what about when the other kid comes up. that's like a better dancer than him it. was so [ __ ] crazy Mr G that character. oh and J oh so good so good God that was. so good it's just it's that was like the. sign Feld of Australia I feel like in a. way yeah yeah cuz it's so on the nose. and perfect you're like could anything. get more perfect than that yeah I got to. meet him once oh yeah right yeah I got. to meet him once and I was so yeah it.

was just yeah was it awesome meeting him. I've never met him yeah it was awesome. he came on the podcast last time I was. in Australia right yeah it was super I. came downstairs in the hotel and he's. just kind of standing off to the side. kind of like kind of has this. like kind of like shyness I guess. curious kind of guy I'm interested that. he did your podcast cuz I don't think he. does much does he I don't think he does. a lot offf he does anything super stoked. about it um I'm gonna try to get to say. hey to him before I leave town he said.

he's out of town right now but yeah. right he's funny guy yeah did you ever. do like see Kath and Kim Kath and Kim. Kath and Kim it's another Australian. show that's [ __ ] brilliant about like. Suburban Australia sea and Marley I like. have you seen them no it's like a um. recipes and down syndrome basically it's. like a little is it Australian yeah it's. good know that yeah it's quality form. content good. Telly tell Sean is more of bit of bit he.

can get a little agitated sometimes if. the vegetables aren't right hang on what. is this a TV YouTube this is. YouTube it's really great let me yeah. let's so Shawn and Marley one of them. has Down syndrome I. believe and I believe they are I don't. know if they're Christian or not but. they're Asian well we can't watch it but. they're great though if you get to see. them really wonderful um what else are.

you thinking. about what else am I thinking about my. kids got a football game this afternoon. are you going to make it no the second. half yeah Mom yeah he said to me on the. phone he's like Mom will you make it to. the game my 9-year-old oh went look my. flight gets in like 20 minutes before. you start CU that's okay you can just. come to the second half I was like. you're the [ __ ] best man that was. nice of him he's the like he's [ __ ]. Wicked dude my mom would sit in the.

third out in the Outfield in a van and. she would say hit it or we're leaving. and she would [ __ ] lay on the horn if. we what did you play play baseball right. hit it all we're leaving and we would oh. because she didn't want to wait for the. second time for the Batters to go around. she got [ __ ] to do cuz I didn't get to. play much in the field they would put me. out there but it was like they didn't. want me out there did you like it I. didn't like it what being in the. Outfield or playing at all I just didn't. like being out there I guess I don't. know there was things I didn't like.

about it I guess I didn't like the heat. out there yeah you always like you're. supposed to do yard work you feel like a. farmer you're out there with all this. land you're in like left field you don't. have any seed you don't have any mules. you're like [ __ ] around yeah you're. like your own thoughts that's never good. when you got depression man there you're. like this Farm sucks I'm just wondering. where the nearest [ __ ] bridge is this. isn't good for me and they're long games. right baseball long oh so long it's like. Cricket [ __ ] long oh Cricket seems. unbelievably ridiculous it seems like. they shouldn't do it that's what it.

seems like to Americans and and it also. seems like they don't really do it I'm. like you don't do [ __ ] much and then. all all of a sudden something happens. and everyone shits themselves like no. like four people of the 50,000 people. that [ __ ] standing out there playing. get excited for 10 minutes and everyone. goes home and it's all across the news. like what happened and it lasts for like. 3 days too yeah isn't there like a some. 10day test or so yeah it goes forever. crazy there's like an Indian it's kind. of reminds me of an Indian wedding a lot. of Indian weddings are like that yeah.

but that look fun oh yeah I think it's a. lot more fun than a game of cricket. probably um I think anything is a lot. more fun than a game of [ __ ] Cricket. thank you I really do I've been wanting. to say that but I think I always be. afraid to say it cuz I'm like oh people. are going to get pissed Cricket you but. you know what [ __ ] that man I'll say. this the [ __ ] looks [ __ ] ridiculous. the helmet looks. absolutely. insane it looks un unbelievably bad how. do you feel about American football then. cuz they look like [ __ ] idiots know.

what I think I kind of agree with you. have you there's this clip on YouTube of. of NFL players watching rugby league. games and because it's [ __ ] brutal. League like they have some rugby seems. way more they run at each other and they. just you know demolish each other that's. why I don't want my kids doing it but. it's really funny for of these massive. NFL players going what the [ __ ] they. can't believe it.

really yeah I mean that's illegal that's. a spear. tackle 10 in the. bin um oh [ __ ] oh my God it's so full on. look out mate behind you oh my God it. makes my penis hurt yeah it should makes. my penis hurt [ __ ] good God and then. he's got to get. him oh it's really brutal yeah when I. see a lot of pain I feel it in my. genitalia yeah right is that a weird.

thing you think that happens to people I. think men just talking about the genit. Alan generals kind of. weird yeah sorry about that that's. okay a lot of you guys know we started. off with uh our first Advertiser ever. was gry block. Pizza get that hitter. baby and the owner of Grey block Pizza. my friend Thomas evolved his business up. in Oregon to start blue cube baths and. he sent me one and it's absolutely.

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like you gotta [ __ ] do you have to sit. down with them what what do parents do. like do you have a talk with your. husband about how to do that yeah it. goes like this [ __ ] talk to him. that's how I do it really I try and talk. to we got an email from his school. saying just so you know this term we're. doing like sex ed we're going to be. talking about yeah and I said to my son. sucked in you're going to get it at. school we we do we try and talk to but. they know. [ __ ] hell kids know [ __ ] yeah they. know but I think sex ed is when it gets.

really weird because then it's like. somebody is talking about it and. everybody's in the same room at the same. time and they had a doll I remember they. passed around like a. doll in our class which was crazy I'm. like people are like abusing this doll. kind like and there was a male doll and. a female doll like I'm but I think it's. so cuz you remember that energy did you. have to go to sex adad I. I don't remember it at all what yeah I.

don't remember maybe I wasn't at school. when it was H we have this thing in. Australia called healthy Harold and this. [ __ ] van comes around to each school. and Harold is the character he's a. giraffe and you go into the healthy. Harold van uhhuh and they have like. figurines and it's like this is what a. uterus looks like or or like this is. what like skin can like skin or you know. like a little pting see but then I.

remember healthy Harold comes it's it's. a lot and then healthy how comes back. and then they talk about sex ed and I. didn't maybe I didn't go isn't that. weird I don't remember the whole you. know Healy heral condom on a um banana. thing I don't remember any of that maybe. I just skipped. it yeah I well that's in that's pretty. interesting that they use a giraffe to. do it and he comes around and my Poppy's.

name was Harold as well so I was like. I'm [ __ ] good not learning about this. in a weird dark van yeah getting into a. van I think to but that's happens to a. lot of a lot of people have gotten into. a van and learn a lot of [ __ ] learn a. lot of [ __ ] in a van actually it's not a. bad idea almost like an ice cream truck. that just goes around with facts about. sex yeah you just need to get um parents. to sign off on it yeah you're laughing. yeah we we do try talked to my boy a bit. about it but yeah like that's that that. that's the thing I would wonder yeah.

like what do you and what's the school. saying like beware like it's I think. that month or whatever yeah it's not. they're like you can you think it's. International women's day it's not it's. we're teaching your kid about [ __ ] oh I. know so it was just kind of letting us. know that they're going to be talking. about a menual cycle no yeah I'm full on. at home with that with my boys I'm in a. house full of dick so I'm like I talk. about that a lot like perod getting my. period everyone look alive and like my. everyone G your loines cuz yeah I'm.

firing some [ __ ] warning shots cuz. it's not looking good for any of you. guys for a while wow but now my. 9-year-old will be like Mom did you want. something to eat if I'm like I've got my. period really do you want something yeah. I got good kids wow yeah raising good. boys that's beautiful that's sweet. that's nice I also have heard my husband. walk into the kitchen say to my boys. boys it's [ __ ] back on get out of. here I can hear him Whispering they like. get out of here she's not it's not good.

take it easy today guys yeah wow yeah. and um will you guys have any more. children you think no no oh so less no. I've got a 100 I'm good I do have. moments. though and I'm really busy with work and. I'm like maybe if I just have a baby I. don't have to do any of this yeah just. stop and just have a baby because that's. easy people have babies all the time I. think just so they can get out of maybe. get out of work or something or not have. to do something men do that women don't.

do that women yeah yeah that's a man. thing that's not of woman thing so men. like all have this baby and then it'll. let's have a kid it's just easy and the. woman's like yeah sure then she does it. she's like I [ __ ] hate you man hate. everything about you men will do that. huh yeah [ __ ] dude we're. sick we're sick man I do think about. that though sometimes and my youngest. really wants me to have another baby cuz. he wants to to be a big brother oh but I. I'm hoping my stepdaughters will hurry. up and get pregnant I'm like that will.

work for me yeah as long as somebody for. kind of fulfills that space a little bit. I think that's super important yeah um. what else was I saying oh there was a. bunch of beauty tips I was going to ask. you because so many things you went. through like with about like Beauty and. different things we're talking about. like a lot of your videos do you have a. that's not me this is not you no but go. on bring that back up though what is. some of these I just wanted to think. what do you think about some of these. new ones that people are doing nose. blush I don't what you just make your.

nose pink yeah I think it's sweeping. bright blush across your face on your. nose and highlight I don't who wants to. highlight the bridge of their nose I. think it started probably with Co or. something probably because people were. sick. anyway so I think people were like I. might as well [ __ ] look really bad. snail SK [ __ ] off that's that's not a. thing snail skincare yeah this is where. uh. I guess yeah people are putting snails. and this must be a this is Asian thing.

yeah popularizing Korea spread across. Asia the texture of the snail slime on. your face is already giving us the. heebie jbi actually a snail on your face. would feel [ __ ] wild. huh yeah that I can feel that in a very. specific part of my spine that's weird. it would be the M actual for me the slow. movement of the snail I'm just not. interested I would I'm happy I would. rather look like a hat full of [ __ ]. than [ __ ] can sit through that I'm. not doing that I should have it's not. even a movement it's just a casual yeah.

like never ending yeah oh almost seems. kind of nice I think depends on where. you put it at yeah that was quite nice. if you yeah like I don't know if it's. soothing or not though you know what my. friend Caleb told me he told me that. this's the neatest thing I've ever heard. that you can look at anything and know. what it will feel like on your tongue. because when you were a baby you put. everything in your.

mouth what I can look at anything like. you can look at anything like material. or anything and you can know what it. feel like on your tongue yeah right. that's kind of cool it's crazy you can. look at anything you. like but he said it's because you tried. everything when you were a child but it. doesn't kind of check out because like. when I look at those lights I know how. it feels on my tongue but that's not. because I shove lights in my face as a. baby maybe not but do you sh have. certain fa it's just like did we taste. every Fab you know what I'm saying did.

we taste every surface without even you. know yeah sand all that [ __ ] yeah yeah. yeah cuz it's weird you can know I once. I start thinking about it you're now I'm. kind of freaking out a little bit like. looking around like how does our tongue. know everything and I think sometimes I. said this to my kids the other. day sometimes when I've got so much on. and CU I've got ADHD as well when I'm. really overwhelmed I can. feel the front part of my brain I can. actually feel it and when I think about.

that I'm like what other parts of. me if I think hard enough about them can. I feel that you don't usually think. about you know what I mean like same. with if I had that I had to drink of. water or something free and then someone. tried to talk to me and I had to answer. them and I couldn't swallow and I was. like going hang on and then I went I I. forgot how to [ __ ] swallow all of a. sudden because don't say that because. you don't have to think about swallowing. right it just happens so when you do.

think about it you forget how to do it. I'm boring myself but sometimes I can. feel the front part of my brain when I'm. overthinking and I feel it's the same. thing about that tongue thing I don't. usually think that I can feel my tongue. until I think about it yeah are we're. going to put this part on the Cal M to. put people to sleep yeah welcome to call. map we would make a good myself Jesus. Christ welcome to call map is going to. tell you about the front part of her. [ __ ] brain to put you to sleep you're. in a.

beautiful open. field what's that a bird what does that. feel like on your tongue calm down dude. if we made a cal M episode that'd be so. fire yeah it' be so good wouldn't it it. would be so Harry Styles is on it he's. on there doing call map [ __ ] yeah but. it's [ __ ] great because he reads you. like a story M and at the beginning of. it he's like hello Harry Styles here I'm. going to read you a story and I'm like.

[ __ ] all right Harry want to read me a. little story it's really nice wow yeah. yeah that would be good I'm trying to. think of some good ones I would like to. hear maybe from Randy Quaid maybe LeBron. does one too he does yeah it's good I. feel like if Kai sonat did one it would. be pretty [ __ ] fire too but he yeah I. don't know if what his would be like. maybe that would be great if everybody. started making those um lots of people. do them yeah like I was quite surprised.

when I saw it like [ __ ] must be money in. that do you do any Impressions or. impersonations Kenne of I'm not that. talented unfortunately did you ever try. them like try to work on it for a while. or think about it no no not really I. kind of I had a little moment of wanting. to do SNL back in the day before anyone. gave a [ __ ] about who I was but I was. like I'm not really good at that stuff I. [ __ ] think it's amazing though people. that do it blows my mind did you see. Shane Gillis on there no who's that he's. an American comedian he's like a really.

entertaining guy very funny he just he. had gotten kicked off of the. show like they had hired him as like a. cast member they hired him as a cast. member a while like three years ago and. then the next day they looked at some. old episode from a podcast or something. and said something on it and they took. him off they said we changed our minds. and then he blew up since then and he. has like a huge career and now they just. had him back as a guest oh wow so did he.

host or just yeah he hosted yeah right. so I thought it was interesting I. thought he was going to say at the last. minute [ __ ] you can't make it guys yeah. yeah yeah wow I kind of wish he would. would have but I don't know if that's. just like a petty part of me that wish. that you know I have that in me as well. yeah sometimes that petty party you just. shows up you know oh God yeah yeah yeah. quite a lot for me I could be quite pett. does it feel like um. Jesus air conditioning yeah um does it. feel is it really you think what like.

now when you think about it cuz you've. been traveling a lot right you're in. hotels you're on planes it just like my. voice is busted so that when I tour the. same thing it's the air conditioning. it's just cold synthetic air it's never. right is it no that's why when you I get. hotel rooms I always try to get I can. open a [ __ ] window yeah cuz it's been. like I say four days I've been in a. hotel or in a car or anything like that. or you know studios are cold so yeah it. just busts my voice sometimes when I go.

to certain places I'll stay in a place. that doesn't have any air condition MH. and at first you're like this sucks but. by like the second night you kind of get. into like this real natural sort of. pattern kind of yeah and your body kind. of self-regulates itself with heat and. everything it's so much better for you. but um yeah it just it buckles my voice. I'm actually going to have some free. water did you see well you said you have. ADHD huh mhm and um how' you get. it just bought it at the store he go and.

[ __ ] pick it up so it's not something. that's developed no born with it well I. don't think I was born with it I was. diagnosed at. 16 been medicated on and off for ever I. [ __ ] hate it you really yeah I really. struggle with it I find it really hard. like how do you notice it cuz sometimes. I I I wonder how do you notice it like. where do you not where do you notice. that cuz 16 is kind of a young age to. diagnose somebody with something but. that's how we do it and especially in.

the '90s as well like it's everywhere. now which is great there you know people. talk about it so much now but back then. ADHD was just like shut up and sit down. have a pill [ __ ] off it's not just a. hyperactivity thing it's lacking in. dopamine and all that and I just I I. just run in circles I can't grab a. thought I find it as I get older it's. kind of getting harder it's weird like. as I said I'm medicated for it but um I.

get the medication makes me anxious so. it's like well which [ __ ] devil do. you choose to hang out with you're going. to be like well I'll just be scattered. and full. on or not as scattered not as full on. but anxious as [ __ ] [ __ ] and I don't. know if it's a career thing as well you. know with more success and all that with. so much going on and so much. demand but I find it hard to cop a break.

with it it bums me hard see all the. stuff online have people like ADHD you. know it's I find it it's like my. superpower and I'm like [ __ ] you I don't. find that at all people again I think it. might be a social media thing it's like. it's great it means I can do that and do. that and do that and do that I'm like I. can't do that or that or half of that or. any of that and and and I've got a heap. of people that work for me and I [ __ ]. hate them all because they don't do. enough for me they do like it's.

just I find it exhausting and it's the. dopamine thing I don't we don't produce. dopamine that [ __ ] drug that makes. you happy damn and it. it's it's just it's hard I find it. really really. hard so people with ADHD don't produce. dopamine I think we've just don't qu I. think we it's harder it's a lot harder. for us to produce dopamine like 10 times. harder I think it is and I and I really.

I feel that on a [ __ ] cellular level. trying to write a standup show like you. need the dopamine you need the. excitement you need I need a brain that. can work that can go that's funny that's. funny bring it in people with ADHD have. at least one defective Gene oh damn your. shit's messed up yeah we're [ __ ] the. drd2. Gene makes it difficult for neurons to. respond to dopamine the neurotransmitter. that is involved in feelings of pleasure.

and the regulation of attention can you. please tell me can you please tell me. what have at least see I have to read it. again um least can you please tell me. what the drd2 gene is is that just I. wonder if that's what's in drit dopamine. receptor D2 also known as d2r is a. protein that in humans is encoded by the. drd2 gene. um yeah dopamine the dopamine D2. receptor is the main receptor for most.

anticho drugs the structure of dr2 in. complex with the atypical it's not. helping me no it's so many words for me. right now yeah it's a lot um pretty. pretty pictures though re got I did I. was like they look like streamers that's. what I thought when I looked yeah cuz I. just I take what have I taken. antidepressants I got off like three. months ago and then I just got back call. like 2 days ago I just couldn't take it. anymore I was on.

anti-depressants coming off though. actually my last standup show I talk a. lot about that that's no [ __ ] joke. coming off those did you find it really. hard yeah I found it hard I found the. harder part for me is realizing that I. have to go back on right now CU I think. I didn't want to have to be back on and. traveling in Australia has been it's. just been tough it's been tough to like. I had a good pattern of like uh Fitness. and stuff at home and I've still been. doing well but just not as organized. your sleep patterns get off so it put me.

in like a real I got into like I got. real angry and then I got like in a real. tough spot and I just didn't know what. else to do so I was like I think I just. have to get back on them so I think part. of me was really bummed out that I had. to yeah yeah I I understand that I. remember when I had to go I was on them. then I went off and went back on them. and I thought the same thing I was like. I don't want to be trapped on it I felt.

trapped on anti-depressants it takes so. long to come off them like [ __ ] coming. off them like takes six weeks you to. wean yourself off I was like I just I. don't want to have to do that again well. I got on them like 20 years ago so I'm. like have I just and the tough part is I. don't have a lot of feelings I have. feelings but it's hard to know what they. are because the anti-depressants kind of. just make everything feel the same right. and then a lot of times some feeling I. don't process so I get in this tough. spot where I'll get off the. anti-depressants so I can have some.

feelings right but then sometimes if I'm. not careful there's some pitfalls and. that can get you know pretty deep and so. it's just tough because and it's like. well like I wanted to like I want to get. you know like married or something one. day and so I start thinking well I don't. even know how I feel about people. sometimes like if I'm dating it's hard. for me to even know cuz it's just hard. for me to access my feelings it's yeah. yeah they they're numbing aren't they. blunting they blunt yeah everything kind. of feels the same it's like oh man I. just saw that dog get hit by a bus or do.

I like Sharon you know exactly it's the. same feeling you're trying and so so I. was like I have to get off of these or. I'm just going to be stuck in this cycle. of not knowing how I feel about someone. you know yeah but then it's got It's. just gotten too steep recently so I'm. GNA get back on I am back on now and. then maybe I'll get off whenever I get. back home see I'm when I'm touring I'm. in the best routine isn't that weird wow. when I'm at home I'm so [ __ ].

scattered with the kids and life and try. just to and I think cuz I probably have. my husband there as well like help and. is a husband helpful or is a husband not. help no he's brilliant let's get to the. bottom of it yeah that's the only reason. I'm here really yeah's with the children. to tell you how great my yeah damn he's. all time no he's brilliant is it hard to. love somebody after you're like married. for a while or does it get different. kind. of it's not hard to love him we've been.

together for 20 years oh wow I think I. mean he's the only thing I've committed. to and not I'm not don't just mean. person I mean thing I ADHD you can't I. don't know how to yeah really really. really crave stability yet I'm [ __ ]. terrified by it but I need need it. so it's and I have that with him so it's.

different. sure but it's. it's I'm I love Yeah stability and I get. that from him oh that's nice it's so. great and was it hard to make that. decision yeah cuz I think I have like. tough time with commitment I just it's. like [ __ ] the last thing I want to do. well I think I'm a goal oriented person. as well so like i' kind kind of met him. and went let's go I also oh fell. pregnant so we got married oh you did.

yeah but we were together for two. months yeah week and a half no um eight. years wow yeah ages long distance we've. always been long distance you have yeah. something kind of nice about it's almost. some romantic and long distance like. you're coming back from war yeah he's. going off with the troops or whatever. absolutely he's at home making things. for me making it nice the weapons yeah. making the. pie that I eat when I come in and so now.

with touring and being away for work. we're kind of used to it yeah yeah do. Australian comedians feel like they have. to go to America you have to get that. American audience is there like a. feeling like that I don't um I don't. think so I mean for me yes cuz my. audience is there because of the. internet but there's some [ __ ]. brilliant Australian Comics some of my. favorite that are here and a killing it. here and don't have to go anywhere and I. mean I don't sure they probably want to. go do what they want to do but they're. killing it here they don't need to cuz.

it's as smaller pool as well so you know. you a lot of our comedians are all on TV. as well they get great you know jobs on. telly they don't need to worry about. [ __ ] off over there yeah yeah I know. it's so nice here it's so safe that's. the craziest thing it's like you can go. somewhere and you're not going to get. killed well yeah by a gun you might buy. a [ __ ] shark yeah yeah you're going. to notice that your pants are getting. wet first before when you go swim in the. ocean you're like today might be the. [ __ ] day yeah yeah but not just.

walking down the street yeah you know. it's Milling in a park and some [ __ ]. yeah exactly tarantula just runs your. some dope shark just rolls up on you you. know [ __ ] aligator comes after you oh. we have a yeah it's one of our most. dangerous animals over there is is just. homeless people and um is the gun drugs. and the gun can you imagine if guns were. all over your. country I [ __ ] can't. when I'm over there I'm in the states. I'm like I we rolled. into a place when I was doing a show on.

the last tour and 500 M down the street. there was a shooting at the at the local. mall yeah and I was like are we alerting. authorities to get me the [ __ ] out of. here like you. know it's the biggest thing in the world. for us it's the biggest if there's a. shooting where in New South Wales is. there's shooting in [ __ ] Queensland. I'm telling you you siren alarms will go. off here oh yeah it it's and I remember. then these women came to my show that.

night I do a meet and greet after and. it's that thing as well do I talk about. it when I get on stage what do I do it. was so close by like three people were. [ __ ] shot and. killed no but like it's like what the. [ __ ] yeah and then I you know you make. the decision not to talk about it. because it's like I'm giving you guys an. hour of laughter and I don't want to be. that Australian that comes in and goes. you guys are [ __ ] and then I did a meet. and greet and there was this group of. women after and I was talking to them.

yeah and I was like that's really full. on with what happened and they just. glazed over they're like they care well. no they just you have to cuz they got to. put their kids on a [ __ ] school bus. the next day and send them off to school. like yeah anyway do you miss your kids. when you travel without them oh you guys. have different coping mechanisms than we. have it's built different no it's gotten. extremely just severe and bizarre over. there it blows my mind people are like.

wishing their children well and like. getting them like Kevlar and stuff for. Christmas and like bullet resistant. things it's just and all the debates. that go on after there's a shooting. they're like well you know why this is. It's because some random man had an. issue once with his mother and found uh. and I'm like What's the end of that. what's the end of that sentence a gun. you [ __ ] like what the [ __ ] I agree. with you but how would you get R that's. the problem is at this point there's.

there's. no no you you're [ __ ] you're so far in. with your NRA and everyone's all up in. everyone yeah like how would you get all. the guns well we did a buyback system in. Australia we had a mass shooting Port. Arthur. 96 was it oh and um it was the greatest. mass shooting we've had in this country. and then our government did a buyback. system you got $300 for everyone who. brought in their [ __ ] guns and they. [ __ ] sure there's psychos who were.

like no one gets my but we did a buyback. system in America I bet you would get. 20,000 gun. face well hey I have an idea [ __ ] off. okay yeah you would get you're right you. shut in the [ __ ]. [Laughter]. face you got to cut all this out cuz now. I'm terrified when I go to America I'm. getting shot in the [ __ ] face no. you're not getting shot I sent DM to. Pablo Escobar's wife when she got out of. prison and I haven't been killed yet so. I didn't know I thought you was single I.

thought oh you sent it like a [ __ ] DM. I mean I didn't say like Oh I thought. you were like congratulations he's out I. wish you both all the best now that oh. dude I just said Ola Mama but still I. think yeah people could perceive that. wrong but like I. I yeah you're going to be fine but yeah. it's so crazy you don't realize how less. stressed I feel being here it's like I. don't even even want to go back part of. me doesn't even want it's so [ __ ]. scary you don't realize that there's. always this thought in the back of your.

head that somebody's going to just. [ __ ] he's got a gun I think the. shooters are the worst they show up they. kill 19 people they're just trying to. shoot one guy [ __ ] hell they have the. worst aim we've got to start training. these. kids to shoot. better I'm gon to stay out of that one. can I go in the KN I'm doing everything. I can to get the [ __ ] out of this now. cancel my tour I'm not going I don't. even care I don't know what the solution. is but yes we I do [ __ ] guns I agree.

with you but how do you get rid of them. because the criminals are not going to. turn them in and the guy that's afraid. the criminal isn't going to turn it in. isn't going to turn it in don't you have. incentives to buy guns over there you. open a bank account you get a gun maybe. start there people don't want yeah. nobody would it's just too ingrained in. the culture yeah no one's going to like. button right if you try to take. somebody's [ __ ] belly button get shot. in the. face people would be pretty toed or.

pissed off um I'm sure you have it's. very popular um Jim Jeff bit on gun. control in America it's good on he's. such a legend have you got to meet him. no that bit he does is [ __ ] brilliant. it terrifies me though when I'm over. there I'm not going to it terrifies us. it's really not cool I run my mouth I. run my mouth a lot when I get there I'm. like I can't cuz I don't know but you. guys are Charming you guys are like a. like a like a like when the you know. when the um the the rare white wombat.

comes to the zoo or whatever that I feel. like that's what it's like when. Australians come people want to go see. what's going on look at them they're in. the cage yeah you're fun you got your. fun yeah give them a celery you know say. all British I just feel like people are. so intrigued about seeing you guys but. there is a peacefulness over here what. else is it about it have you been to New. Zealand yeah we went to New Zealand. that's where it's at I [ __ ] love it's.

beautiful and it's love it over there. very unique it's magical I'd move there. in a heartbeat we went to ockland as. well and you meet people. who are saying making sounds and they. don't know what they're saying are. there's they're using only vowels I met. people that use only vowels what going. on. zero continent you're like wow come. [ __ ] out here you look like a [ __ ].

witch then oh I saw a guy sprain he. sprained his [ __ ] spine trying to. finish a sentence over there I think you. just maybe ran into someone who happened. to be on [ __ ] ice like that doesn't. it's not how new zealanders. speak it could have been like the one. dude who's on [ __ ] meth in the street. you rock up and talk. to there could have been some Tran use. going on um let's let's bring up that. one uh video of this girl did you see. this video of this young lady it's so. funny when you're putting your mind to.

it you know exactly what to do indoors. how was that for you oh it was amazing I. mean it was such a strong race we were. all running so fast multiple running in. the 50s so I knew I had to go out fast. I'd Leck in front of me so I wanted to. be in front and I could hear how F she. was behind. me oh hang. on where is she from what ACC is that I. can't get past the that's Disney bro. she's from Disney oh boy sorry can you.

play Let's Play It Again is that right. if we quickly Play It Again the children. I just need to [ __ ] know again you. know what I can feel right now the front. part of my [ __ ] brain to it you know. exactly what to do she's British indoors. how was that for you what are you oh it. was amazing I mean it was such a strong. race we were all running so fast. multiple running in the 50s so I knew I. had to go out fast I'd Leck in front of. me so I wanted to be in front and I. could hear how F she was behind me so I. was like okay now we keep going and this. C is so amazing her mate's like you put.

the mic on the wrong. [ __ ] she's that's Mickey Mouse you know. when she's not doing that she's a suit. operator at [ __ ] Disneyland of Mickey. Mouse got to be that's amazing that. see you could convince yourself Mickey. Mouse has just broken the 400 meter. indoor world record fans react is fimy. Bowl fimy balls interview oh Glasco. she's oh she's Scottish. glazi have you tour over there in the UK. oh boy yeah but I've never been so tired.

of just been. like right that that was that was. [ __ ] great with the am oh hang on. American C character the Dutch runner in. the world championships with a world. record of. 4924 seconds in the 400 but blew past. the timing again in Glasco what happened. I want to know what happened 30 seconds. before that. interview did she Rock up and they were. like let's do an interview and her mate. was like it was amazing her mate was. like I don't re we need to do an.

interview I re we're good but Mickey. Mouse is like oh have a crack and. they're like no we've already achieved. so much we just nailed it she's like. I've always you guys never let me do. interviews can I do an interview and. they're like all right G your loines. here she is it's a small world after all. that's crazy man that's funny um any. other news guys anything else that's. going on no that's the only thing that's. going on in the world [ __ ] Mickey. Mouse went for a r i mean there's other. biggest stuff we can talk.

about oh yeah they went to the zoo oh. yeah I saw that great well done not. surprised it's something you I think. it's like an Australian tradition coming. here and going to the zoo huh yeah I. think so it's pretty cool Zoo oh it's. like it's like um a sanctuary as well. and they do conservation they do some. [ __ ] great work there I thought it. was way Hands-On I was kind of surprised. and um yeah it's like you really get. close to Sam Mana Mayo you the Chelsea. man has a brother is that correct mhm. and did he just retire from. something and yeah he plays footb he.

played for the NFL for the Philadelphia. Eagles is that the same team as the. other Kelsey man that just won the Super. Bowl no no because I saw his press very. tear fill I was I thought his mother had. died it was a lot of tears I was like we. all [ __ ]. retire I'm what happened it meant a lot. to him but it's went through a lot of. stuff he went through like also he. talked about like his family he got real. deep into it I think sometimes it's.

almost you wonder though like are they. trying to get them to do more now I. thought it was very genuine and touching. but yeah he was he had a lot of I look I. thought it was very genuine and very. touching I didn't need to hear it I was. like maybe on a podast like you know. you're going on later and having a chat. to someone about but it it went on and. on we had no cousins it was just me and. my brother and we just like just come. out make the announcement all right I'm. done it's been a great season it's been. a great 40 years that I've been playing. catcher I was like [ __ ] you still.

[ __ ] cry like it just went on for me. International women's day so. disrespectful oh now that's a good point. on on on International women's day do. you think that people are less emotional. in Australia no I think we're still. pretty emotional yeah yeah I just don't. think we have as much media attention on. it like you know what I mean point and. especially him it's kind of interesting. the side effects of like cuz I I've. always thought Travis Kelce like darker. women right that's always been the I.

don't know the man like if he if he ate. an Oreo he would just eat the sides oh. right well he's not. now you know right now I mean now he's. going heavy cre yeah he's going full. cream yeah so it's just I think a lot of. people I yeah I think there's a lot of. like a lot of people wondering the. reality behind that like is it real you. know yeah I think [ __ ] and you don't. know with the media you don't know what. their strategy is you don't know what.

their plan is you know they could easily. approach people and say this is what we. want to do yeah you know well Australia. shot themselves when he flew in for her. one of her concerts well yeah that's the. crazy part I just wonder what his life. is going to be like now because that's a. level I feel like of Fame that's kind of. like miserable every interview is asking. about her every and it will be for the. rest of his life yeah it's tail Swift. you can't fight that that's kind of I.

wonder if you think about that before. you but maybe you don't I don't know I'm. just thinking out loud you know I mean. if you're really in love you don't you. well that's what I was going to say if. you love some you're like [ __ ] whatever. who cares but I think if you go in with. it with an idea of it being an. arrangement then it's different so maybe. it is love do you know what I mean if. you don't if you love someone you just. go into it and then you find yourself in. interview is always talking about them. always talking about your. relationship yeah gosh gosh oh wouldn't.

wish it on my worst enemy that level of. Fame [ __ ] I couldn't do. it yeah it feels like a lot. no no oh no it already sometimes it's. weird when it starts to feel like your. own name doesn't even belong to you. anymore does that make any sense to you. it makes Absolut sense to me even when. I'm on a [ __ ] phone call calling you. know my kids. school Celeste Barber shut up I feel. like going can I speak to so and so or.

yeah saying even saying my name now. something feels kind of weird or when my. mates are like we get a table somewhere. they're like say say papa like no. they're like we do what do you [ __ ]. mean you do you're not even there I'm. not there I'm in America how do you mean. you got the [ __ ] table at noou in. Sydney they're like no it's fine and. then they just spend the whole time at. dinner going she's coming. that's actually a great idea. yeah if you're waiting for a table out. there make sure you say Adele yeah Adele.

you get a table with. Adele well I'm glad I got to have a. table for a little while today with. Celeste Barber um thanks for thanks for. meeting up I know you have a lot going. on and I know you have to go home to. your son's birthday yeah and his. football game no it was good it's was. good to come in it was good to me I hope. we made it work thanks for moving it as. well I know you had to move it around a. bit for me I appreciate it that's all. right I'm glad that we got to too yeah I. I was trying to learn as much as I could. about Australia but I think we talked. about Australia some huh yeah you're.

going to do like Great Barrier Reef or. Great Ocean Road any of those sort of. things while you're here I think the. next time I come I'm going to come back. one more time and make it a thing yeah. just one more time before you die well I. don't know I mean I might come back more. than that I used to have a dream I would. meet my wife in Australia yeah right but. I think a lot of people romanticized. stuff like that you know yeah nothing. wrong with that yeah no it'd be nice but. you never know but um but I think uh the. first time I came I did shows like and. it was like travel show the same day. that sort of thing it was way too hard.

on me it's too much that's what my last. tour I did that it's way too hard and so. this time we slowed it. down and it's been awesome got to be at. the Gold Coast and see different places. and spend a little bit more time in. different cities but then it also gets. kind of long you know you're gone for. three weeks and you're like yeah but my. biggest audiences are in Australia yeah. right right mine are in the States look. at that wow is that weird yeah that's. the goal isn't it to slow it down so you. can kind of live and enjoy work but like.

I was saying I can't with [ __ ] kids. and living so far away where did you go. on the go Coast we went to um Paradise. Cove or something surface Paradise. surface yeah yeah it was good we got. some electric bikes and we got to ride. out onto the water like onto the beach. yeah wow it was UN might have been the. neatest thing I've ever done I liter. itally felt like I was on the moon which. had never been new [ __ ] magic beaches. we have up there I'm up that's where I. live up there really it's just like oh.

yeah I know it was so [ __ ] good I. just wanted to. just rip my. [ __ ] penis off thr in the water. that's how I felt really oh you might. find your wife up there who knows yeah I. just yeah for some reason when I'm. having a good time I literally want to. rip my penis off and just throw it into. whatever I'm having fun at Kangaroo just. whip it at a kangaroo at a sanctuary no. those kangaroos are too dangerous dude.

they'll [ __ ] you up um all right celest. Baba people can watch your special on. Netflix they can check out your tour. that's now will this also be coming to. the states yeah I'm there second of May. oh okay Netflix is a joke oh that's. right you start and then touring for two. months okay May June yeah buy [ __ ]. tickets cb.com please yeah cb.com please. um I've enjoyed spending time with her. I'm sure you guys well too and uh thank. you so much and happy birthday to your. son how old is he going to be 10 oh wow. it's such a big age yeah double digits.

God he's growing up his name's buddy it. is a real name for someone it's [ __ ]. buddy wow that's the best thing about. Australia people have names like buddy. and Poppy and Lily yeah in America when. we're there and they and my son other. son's name is Lou they're like hey buddy. and Lou's like no that's him Buddy's. like how does everyone know my name in. America in America we have names like. bullet and uh. and [ __ ] stud and Todd and [ __ ] and.

chunk all right cheers Celeste thank you. now I'm just floating on thee and I feel. I'm falling like these leaves I must be. Cornerstone oh but when I reach that. ground I'll share this piece of mind I. found I can feel it in my. bones but it's going to take.