Bobby Lee | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #657

Today's guest is a stand-up comedian, a. podcaster, and uh one of the heroes of. my heart, this beautiful little leachy. You know, he's my good friend, and uh. I'm so thankful to spend time with him. Today's guest is Mr. Bobby Lee. >> Shine. a song.

Oh, no. Leave that on. That shit's. tough, dude. >> You're heavy. >> It is. Okay. Sorry. >> You're heavy, >> dude. You look like Daniel D. Lewis a. little bit. >> Thank you. >> Dude, you look like Iris Alba to me, dude. >> You think so? >> Yeah, dude. >> Bring up Idris Alba. >> Yeah. You know what I looks like, dog? >> Just in the dick. You mean, huh? No, your dick is medium. [laughter]. Fair. >> No, I got that limited [ __ ] boy. >> You got limited [ __ ]. >> Yeah, dude.

>> One and a half bars, bro. That's a hit. on this boy. >> Mine's a minion, dude. >> Yeah, you got that minion. >> Yeah, I got minion dick. >> Oh, I like that hard money as [ __ ] bro. >> Hey, hard work. >> Hard worker. >> They do. Yeah, it's they're they're very. hard workers. They have overalls, goggles. >> Yeah, bro. If your wiener's going in. with goggles on, >> dude. It's got the whole thing, dude. You're a champ. >> You're a champ. >> Hey. [laughter]. Hey, dude. I can't say that. But here's. a rule. You can say it. I can say it. That's my rule here.

>> Well, I can say what? [laughter]. >> What can I say, dude? >> Oh, peace. Peace. >> Peace, guys. >> Dude, bro, >> good to see you, man. >> Let me get Let me just get in my zone, guy. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> You want to pray first? I'm happy to. pray if you want. >> Can I start it? >> Yeah. You want to pray? >> Yeah. Do we have to hold hands? >> No, we can but I think if you we can put. our hands however you want. It will get. warmer in here. I know it's cold. >> Yeah, it's really cold. I feel like an. Eskimo right now though. >> They're charging us more for heat. I. think Israel's doing it.

>> Israel is definitely doing a lot of. things. [laughter]. >> I mean, >> I mean, they're like, what do. right. say you say? >> Yeah. Um, yeah. Let's do a prayer, man. You want to lead us in it, man? >> Yeah. Yeah. Um, but you know when I do. prayers, dog, look at me first before we. even get into it. >> Yeah, for sure, man. >> Um, I don't like getting interrupted. >> Okay. >> So, I like to finish what my prayer is. going to be. You know what I mean? And.

it may go long. >> Okay. Yeah. No, dude. I'm just happy to. be here with you today, man. I love you. Give you a hug first. >> Oh, sweet. >> I love you. I love you, dude. >> Thank you for coming. >> Yeah, that's the truth, man. That's the truth, bro. When the streets. call me, bro. When the streets call you, they call me. >> You know what I mean? We have the same. caller. >> Dear heavenly father, hold on. What do.

you need? We're praying. >> What are you doing? >> Huh? >> Sorry. >> Bear dick. [laughter]. >> What's your new name, dude? Bearick. >> Gave it to him. >> Really? >> Oh, loves your type. >> Bear dick. What do you mean, dude? >> Yeah, he loves it, dude. likes women. >> Yeah, he he he loves the chunk fashure, you know what I mean? Cuz if I was gay. guy, you know what I mean? You know, I've done some stuff. >> Like what are you talking like? What do. you mean, man? >> I I've licked a couple. >> No. >> Yeah. Just like a um I just want I want.

to know the flavor. >> Oh, wow. What happened? >> What do you mean what happened? >> Or like, you know, what's the flavor? >> Or Yeah. I don't want to know. Yeah. I. mean, >> salty. >> Well, what do you mean? >> What part do you lick the top or the. bottom? Licking the bottom's gay. >> That's That's gay. Licking the top, dude. Ain't gay. It's just tasting. >> I mean, [laughter] I don't. >> No, it's omocas, dude. You ever go to. restaurant? You don't know what you're. going to get, dude. That's what I'm. doing, dude. Omacasa, dude. Right. And.

sometimes, dude, it's like I go to Omasa. with my girl, >> right? And there's certain things she. just I go, you have to eat it. >> Mhm. >> You know what I mean? Like one uh we. went to uh you know, I've been in the. jungle. >> Have you been? I did not know that. Yeah, I've been in the jungle. I mean, I. know historically. >> Look at my face. >> Yeah. Yeah. What do What do you mean. historically? >> No, I mean, I'm just saying Wait, what. do you mean historically? >> I just mean like over. >> Yeah. I'm not N. >> I know. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm Korean, dude. >> I know. >> Yeah. That there's no jungles in Korea, dog.

>> I don't know. >> When you say historically. >> Historically, you've been watching. Platoon. You've been watching, you know. what I mean? All kinds of movies like. Hamburger Hill, Letters Eojima. >> Yeah. Well, there are jungle of emo. >> It's a It's good. >> It is a good movie. Just give Clint. Eastwood a round of applause. >> Did he make that? >> I think so, dude. I think he made it. >> I didn't even know that. >> He made it when it was 116 years old. It's amazing. >> God, >> what amazing world. So, anyway, I've. been in the jungle. And when I say. jungle, I mean Wiki.

>> Oh, you were out there. >> I didn't go in it, but I saw it. >> Bro, what were you doing out there, >> dude? I was doing all kinds of [ __ ] out. there. >> Were you doing Iask or No, no, no. I. wasn't doing No, I go out there vacation. and so you know I you know there's a lot. of cool ACAS restaurants there, right? >> And what is Omacas for people that don't. know it? >> Do you know it? >> I think so. >> Well, then tell me about it. >> I I think [laughter] uh. >> tell me cuz I don't think you [ __ ]. know, dog. >> Omas. Well, hold on. Let's sound it out. >> Which is um in Korean is mom.

>> Mom. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And cas is. >> Yeah. A house. >> Mom's house. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't know. what I don't know what omocasa stands. for, but I know what it is. >> Okay. >> Okay. So, do you know what it is? >> I do not. >> Okay. So, an omocas restaurant is um. it's a it's a set menu. >> Yeah. >> Right. And they feed you in order. They'll tell you what you're going to. get from beginning to end. And generally. my rule if I'm with a date or, you know, I have a girlfriend now.

>> What? >> Yeah, dude. >> Whoa. >> Whoa. Dude, >> what's happening, dude? So, you're not. So, what are you going to do? You're not. going to do. >> This is what I do, dude. You know what? What am I doing right now, dude? >> Why are you doing if you have a. girlfriend? >> No, I'm killing myself, dude. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah, >> that's mass. >> Yeah. Yeah. I I choke myself when I kick. myself in the heart, dog. >> Okay. >> I ain't jerking off, guy. >> Oh, good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> As long as you ain't jerking off. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to do it 21. times a month, though. That's what I. heard. >> Masturbate. >> Ejaculate? >> No. >> Yeah. Because you'll get um um. testicular cancer.

>> No. Oh, yeah. There's guys that like. some people their eyes go bad or. whatever. >> Like mine. >> Huh? Hello. >> No. >> Anyway, um is this you have a set you. look like a bug that played for the Red. Hot Chili Peppers [laughter] right now, dude. You look you look good. >> I look good, dude. You look real good. >> So, Makasa is like um set menu. So, we. went to one place. You look like a. fireman like in San Francisco kind of. like [laughter] a little bit, you know? >> Yeah, I do. But I was over I was in the. fire. >> Yeah. Right. Or you just had something.

>> I got lost and I'm like in the fire like. I don't know what to do. That type. Yeah. >> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. Yeah. >> And you brought just a mouthful of. water. That's the gayest thing, dude. If. you if you're at a fire and a like kind. of a gay firefighter shows up, he just. like is just spitting water out of his. mouth or whatever. >> You look like an albino raccoon. >> Oh yeah. >> Anyway, um let me finish with the. omocaza thing and get to my point, dog. >> Sorry, dude. I'm interrupting you. >> Yeah, I do want to pray. >> So anyway, oh, we'll do the prayer. later. >> Doug Mai is officially mayor of. >> Chinatown. >> Chinatown. Let's Let's go.

>> Can I finish my micasa or? >> Yeah, that's. >> why we do this. >> What do we do? as well. Did you bring it. up in. >> I understand that. But we're going into. a thing and then you bring up some. Chinese firefighter. >> He brought that [ __ ] up. >> Yeah. So the bear dick did that. >> He's gotick. Yeah. Oh, you're not Bear. Dick. >> That's Bear Dick. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. What are you? >> Py Nick. >> Nick was a premature baby and look how. far he's gone. >> Oh, yeah. Did everything get mature? >> I think my skull size is a little small, but everything else. Yeah. >> Anyway, he's 32 years old, but he he'll.

never hit nine months, you know. So that's and we had this. >> less we forget, bro. >> Less we forget, dude. We were at So. we're at this restaurant and and um they. gave us the bones of a fish. >> and they flavored it like it was a. potato chip, but it had the bra like the. eyes and the brain, but just the bones. of the fish. No. >> And you had to eat it, right? And it's. like um I ate it and I looked at her and. I go, "You just got to eat it." Right. So when a penis comes out, you kiss the.

tip. >> Oh yeah. That's the basically why I. >> Yeah. >> What? >> You know, that's why I want. >> So that's Well, that's why I told you. before that when I said that um I've. kissed the tip of a penis, you know what. I mean? >> What do you mean? Whoa. Why do you keep. doing that? >> It just makes the back of my neck hurt. >> I know, but it's just it's a flavor. thing. >> Oh, yeah. My bad. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was That's how. we got into the omacasa thing. It's a. flavor thing, dude. >> Well, you if you went to whatever they. gave you, you'd eat it, right? You. >> try it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. If they had a. penis, you'd kiss it. It's like a glory.

hole for food or whatever. Like, >> yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A. glory ho for food. >> Well, it's like whatever's in there, that's what you get or whatever. >> That's what you get. Yeah. So, no matter. what they give you, you I just eat. because it's supposed to be like, you. know what I mean? Elegant or, you know. what I mean? >> Avantgard. Yeah. >> Avantgard. Epstein class. >> You know what I [laughter] mean? >> You know what I mean? You know what I mean? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's like off the Epstein tasting menu. or whatever. >> It's just like young fish or whatever. >> No. No. Please stop.

>> Sorry. Let's move on. >> Let's move on. We'll take that out. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe take that out. But um so basically um I don't know how. I got in the PP thing, but let's do a. prayer. >> Okay. No, but you said you had tasted a. little wiener or something or you had a. little. >> years ago. I tasted the tip of one. >> Was it on a [clears throat] What type of. person was it on? >> Color. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Or style. >> Color. Can we go style? >> Yeah. Style. >> Rave. >> Oh, a rave.

>> No. A raver. A raver. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> So, you just took a nip off a little. raver wing. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You know what you're saying? >> Which you what you do. It's cultural. >> Oh, yeah. >> Glow sticks. >> Yeah. >> You'd have glow sticks, >> right? Oh, >> and then you would. >> Right. And then [laughter]. every once in a while they just come. out, right? And you take a little taste. of the salty tip. >> Yeah, dude. That's Yeah. Yeah. It's. cultural. >> So, basically, you've been on a couple. major laser shows is what you're saying. That's exactly that's like exactly what.

I'm saying. >> Just say that too. >> Yeah. Yeah. Just say that. >> You never kissed the tip. >> Oh, no, man. >> Yeah. How about you? Have I have Have. you had opportunities to. >> I mean, I've definitely I remember when. I was a child, you always try to get a. real close gander at your own wiener, >> you know? >> I don't know southern language, dude. You describe it to me. Like I'm sure if. you're a kid, a lot of young uh we can't. talk about children, but. >> a lot of people that haven't grown up. fully [laughter]. >> will try to like. >> I've never tried it. >> We'll try to just get.

>> Yeah. I never tried it. >> I I have I never got I never. >> if I had been raised with yoga, >> right, and I could bend that way, >> you know what I mean? Like I had like a. you know what I mean? A master. >> as a kid. You know what I mean? Bobby. son, you know, >> we have to strengthen your spine. >> Yeah. >> And you go, why master? Right. So one. day you can kiss your own tip. >> Oh, >> right. Like I never had that master. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. [ __ ] karate. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. [ __ ] jiu-jitsu. Right. [laughter].

>> Karate just kicking like invisible. people. I know. It doesn't work. Also, in the UFC, you never say he's a karate. guy, right? Right. It's always. jiu-jitsu, right? Or or boxing or. kickboxing, right? >> Yeah. It's never like. >> It's never Tai Chi. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. No one's out there at UFC doing. Tai Chi, right? Am I right? >> Yeah. Yeah. So, it's like, you know, um. >> Yeah. It's never one of his credits is. like his mom wanted him to be able to. defend himself, [laughter] you know? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rarely you see taekwond do in UFC,

>> right? >> It's usually boxers, kickboxers, um. jiu-jitsu guys, wrestlers. >> What is some of the stuff Nick knows, actually, so let's go to Nick on that. >> Yeah. Uh yeah, I mean he named all the. big ones. There's a few select karate. guys. Steven Wonderboy Thompson MVP. Yeah. >> But jiu-jitsu and uh taekwond doe I. think are the big biggest from. traditional martial arts. >> from traditional. But generally it's. wrestling, kickboxing, boxing, right? >> 100%. I think. >> Holloway is like the one of the best.

strikers with his hands in the biz. >> Mhm. >> You know what I mean? So it's Do you. even know who he is? >> I do. Max Hollowway. He's actually He. was right. He lives and trains where you. just were. Right. I know. And Kiki. >> and I smelled his essence around me. >> Did you see him? >> No, I called him to see if he wanted, you know what I mean? But he was going. through something. >> Yeah. >> You know, you know, as fighters do. >> Dear heavenly father. >> Okay. You want to pray? >> Let's do it. Well, that's I just. started. Okay. Sorry. Dear father, lord and savior, father of. all, thank you so much.

of the gratitude of the fishes fish in. the sea. >> Amen. And the deep fish like the. Greenland shark who lives 500 years 500. years ago. >> Does he really? Sorry. Go on. >> No. See that? That's what I'm talking. about. >> I forgot. >> What do you mean? Look at me right now, dude. No, just look at me right now, dude. >> Can I open my eyes in the prayer? >> Yeah, because the prayer stopped because. you interrupted. >> All right. What? >> Don't do that. >> All right. >> All right. Greenland shark. All right. Thank you.

for the trees, nature. Thank you so much. for. the war. >> What war do you mean, son? >> The war within my heart. You know, the. war that I want to start with Theo. because I did one line in his movie and. he put me on the [ __ ] F poster. That's my prayer, dude. Sorry. Come on. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, as if I.

was in the movie, he put me straight up. in the middle of a movie poster. Dear. Lord, when I had one [ __ ] life, sorry. for swearing, Lord, but I'm very angry. I have a war in my heart. >> It's Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, one lie. And no, I'm not done, right? I. also had a patch over my face. So, most. people didn't even know who was [ __ ]. me, you know? Lord, please give me the. forgiveness, you know what I mean? and. the solitude and the confinement and the.

love for Theo. Amen. >> Amen. >> Yeah. >> Oh, thank you, God. >> Us boys, go watch it in your local. theater and video and stream and. streaming and streaming. You know what I. mean? >> Bro, you were First of all, >> no. No. First of all, what? >> First of all, what? >> First of all, >> no. First of all, what? Because let me. tell you something, BTO. >> I'm going to take my glasses off, dude. >> Okay. >> Let me tell you something, Boto. >> Take my hat off. All, I'll take my. [ __ ] beanie off. You will? >> Yeah. All right. I don't I'm going to. put another hat. [laughter].

>> Yeah. I'm going to put this hat on. >> All right. >> Why is this hat over there? >> I don't know. >> This one's over here, but. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. I didn't pick that one. up. >> Let me tell you something, PTO. >> All right. >> Okay. >> I'm not afraid of you. >> We're friends. >> Yeah, we're friends. >> Yeah, we're deep. >> You know what I mean? We were in the. war. >> Okay. Yes, we were. >> Yeah, we was. Right. This hat gives me. like go gone with the wind vibes. >> This hat gave me gone with the wind.

vibes. [laughter]. >> Okay. >> Or gone with the nins. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You know how you spell that word? Nu ng. gu. >> No. What is it? >> Spell it out. Ng gu yens. Ng guen. The most common Vietnamese. >> last name. >> Surname. Yeah. >> Yeah. Nigwin. >> Nigwin. >> Yeah. >> Oh, that's how they say. Nigwin. >> Okay. Well, >> but also a lot of people. >> look that up. >> A lot of black people if they're asking. like.

like. if something's going to happen, they'll. say that. >> What do you mean? What do you mean. >> that? >> [ __ ]. >> Yeah. >> Like, what's up, [ __ ]. >> No. [laughter]. >> Oh, >> you'll be like, dude, are we going or. not? And you'll be like, yeah, nigwin. [laughter]. >> Oh, I see. >> Don't you think? Or is that. >> Yeah, I have never heard that. >> You know what I mean? But. >> yo, what was that party like? You mean. that was nuin like a [ __ ]. >> No, that's [laughter] not it. >> That's not it. I don't know how to use. that.

>> That's racial. I'm saying. >> Oh, I No, that wasn't racial. >> This hat seems racial, I think. >> Yeah. Yeah. This hat seems very racial. I'm taking off, >> dude. Bobby. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just take the hats. off. >> We'll put them back on in a minute. I'm. going to go back. Let's go back to our. regular attire. Yeah. Yeah. >> Put these on, too. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm going put my glasses on. Let's get regular. So, um it was just a. joke. I'm grateful that you used me in. the movie. Yeah, for sure. Dude, uh I wish you. weren't available for more days for one. >> That's insane. >> You were shooting something. >> That's pure insan insanity. I have. nothing going on.

>> It's your schedule. This was 18 months. ago. >> Yeah, it was 18 months ago. Yeah. So, anyway, um I'm glad I was um involved in. that. >> I agree. We We probably should take you. off of it. >> What? >> I didn't make this poster, but I did. But I should have said something then. I. should have asked you. >> No, it's fine. I mean, you use You. Here's what it is. If you had a line in. my movie, I would put you on the poster. >> Yeah. Yeah, because it's like um you're. a big draw. But I should have asked you. about it though, probably. Can I be honest with you? Because I like. to set boundaries now. I'm on Lexa Pro.

>> and. >> I just got off two ships passing in the. night. >> I. like through the night of harm. >> You know what I mean? We just slowly. passing through the night. >> Yeah. Like we don't have any oil. We We. have no Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We. only have like plastic containers. [laughter]. Right. Yeah. >> We're just collecting semen. >> Yeah. Or seeds. >> Yeah. We're collecting seeds. Seeds and. semen. >> We're just hell. We're just wander. We're lost. >> We're lost. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, um I.

don't even know why we got Oh, yeah. We're passing that. I'm on Lexa Pro. Yeah. >> So, um you know, I like to set. boundaries, right? And I like to be. real. And my I want to say something. real to you is is that um I hear it. >> Sorry. I get it. >> I'm ready to hear it, man. No, no, I. just said it. >> Okay. >> You I mean, so I get the bus post. It. was just a joke. The prayer, right? And. um you know, I mean, but I have to be. admit when I first saw it, I was. annoyed. >> Yep.

>> You know, and I have to tell you that as. a friend. >> Thank you. >> Yeah. Yeah. Uh I I'm grateful that I'm, you know, when people ask me to do. things, you know what I mean? But um. >> you felt like we were using you. >> Yeah. >> A little bit. Yeah. >> You know what I mean? But being on set. with you guys and having fun, I already. expressed myself to Dave. You know what. I mean? >> I didn't know that. He didn't even. mention it to me. >> No, he showed me it. I was in my mind. I. didn't say it then, but later when I saw. him, I said it. >> And then he goes, then he goes, "Next. movie, you'll get bigger role.".

>> Yeah. Yeah. >> This was the much wider used poster, I. think. >> Oh, here we go. What are you, [laughter]. Pakistan? Huh? Uh, you're Pakistan all of a sudden. trying to be middle. >> This dude's poster saying, >> "Yeah." Nah, dude. Right. We're at war, guy. >> Yeah, dude. >> Nothing. Nothing you can do. All right. He has a 15-point plan. I got a 10-point. plan. They ain't mixing. [laughter]. >> Like, I got a six point. I got a 40. point. >> 40 play. Yeah. It ain't happening. So, my point is is this. Okay.

>> You know, I really like, >> you know, I mean, because I've heard. your stance on Rogan, you mean um about. your feelings toward, you know, what's. going on, especially in that area of the. region. And I really. >> in the Middle East. >> No, dude. >> In Austin, >> Alahhamra. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. what's going on over there, dude. >> Yeah, bro. >> The bubble shops are shutting down. >> We're shooting pool with JRod today. [laughter]. >> No, >> you follow JR. He's the best. >> No, I don't know. JRock. No, but my my. point is is that I really, you know, I.

think I agree with you with a lot of. these things that you're saying. You. know what I mean? I don't say it out. loud because um you know, I'm a liard. [panting]. I've always have and always will be. I've always have been. >> You think so? >> Oh, yeah. >> I mean, who is We're all liberal about. some stuff. I think we're all just. whatever full-blown liberal Oh, you are. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Full-blown. Yeah. I don't give a [ __ ] about no. immigration. >> I didn't know that, man. And it's okay. I don't know. >> I I mean, I I I don't, you know, um I. don't talk about politics, but I I just.

want. >> You never talk about it. >> I never have. Never will. >> You never do. >> Yeah. Yeah. This is the first time I've. ever brought it up. >> Yeah. >> Really? And I want to say to you that um. I like what you're saying about it. That's all. Well, it's confusing. It's. confusing. >> And um you know, all you have to do is. you have to ask a question and you go, why is this happening? And you do some. research, right? And then you figure it. out. You have critical thinking and you. go and then you look at the past and. it's a little confusing, you know, and I.

have a lot of questions. Why are you. looking at me like that? >> No, I'm just trying to absorb what. you're saying. >> Yeah, these are things that you know, >> huh? >> Hello. No, I'm just saying right now you. look like a like kind of like a a wasp. that listens to 311 kind of. [laughter]. >> Why does it DUDE, WHY DOES IT ALWAYS. HAVE TO be a a a put down? >> You're right. Sorry. >> You know what I mean? >> Yeah, you're right, dude. >> I'm giving you a compliment. You look. like I I look like a mosquito from some. sort of southern land. >> Yeah, dude. You know, put it back on. then. I'll give you a better one. >> Yeah, give me another one.

>> All right. You look like the uh Oh, you. look like the eighth dwarf, homie. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> You know what I'm saying? There's like. sleepy What am I, dude? >> Sleepy, sneezy, dopey. >> Yeah. >> And ramen. >> No. No. It's got to be E. >> Oh, sleepy, sneezy, dopey, >> gookie. >> No. >> Why? >> Googy is not a word, I don't think. Googie monster. [laughter]. >> Oh, okay. >> Where's the gookies? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Have you seen the googies around here?

>> Oh, chocolate chip gookies. And it's. just a Chinese guy with a [ __ ]. handful of chocolate. I remember the. days of your back your I was thinking. about some of the stories you told back. where you grew up and stuff. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And it's so weird and I thought to. myself, what if there was a Korean Theo? >> That'd be so funny. >> Oh, back when I leave, you know, in. Busouson, we had a guy in our. neighborhood, we call him crazy. Left eye was Chinese, right eye was. Japanese. We don't know WHAT WERE. COMMUNIST. [laughter].

YOU mean that's like, you know what I. mean? Some of your stories, you know. what I mean? And the people that you. grew up with is so it's I and it's it's. so so believable and true. Would it. translate to y'all's culture? You think. my culture and y'all's culture? >> We have the same [ __ ] culture. What. the [ __ ] are you talking about? >> What? You know what I'm saying? I'M JUST. >> NO, NO. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. I'M AN AMERICAN, >> BOBBY. >> NO, NO, NO. I'm tired of this [ __ ]. >> I'm not saying anything. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You are, Bobby. I'm. not. >> You're doing this thing again. I've. never I've never done anything.

>> Oh, you're saying you're trying to. separate us when we're the same. You and. I have the same empathy. >> All right. >> You're a very sensitive guy, >> are you not? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that you have um a tad bit. of ADHD. >> Okay. >> Okay. And these are things that you. that's why we're friends because I. understand these things about you. You. know what I mean? And you're a. sensitive, empathetic gay dude. REALLY? >> WA, BRO. >> OH, DUDE. I mean, let's be real.

>> Huh? >> And you've kissed the tip. >> I've never had. >> Yes, you have. You've kissed the tip, dude. >> Dude, I never even went by anybody's. winner in my whole life. >> One dude like was trying to get us to. like play Navy in his bathtub or. whatever. [laughter]. And dude, I [ __ ] I didn't I I didn't. reinlist. Huh? I didn't reinlist. [laughter]. >> Oh, you didn't re All right. No, I. wouldn't, dude. >> I signed up for the draft for that game, didn't [laughter]. I? I was on that boat, dude. But. >> if you if you if they who would you. fight for if they had a draft?

>> I mean, here's the thing, dude. If they. said because I'm 54, so they said. there's a draft and we're extending the. age to 55. I think I have a compelling. reason to get out. >> What is it? >> Well, I one of them is is that I will. kill more of us than them. >> You think I'll go and [laughter] I'll go. in a circle. and just do a full circle. >> [laughter]. >> Right. Right. And they're like, "Dude, you killed Jim Frank." You know what I.

mean? >> Like a little like a yard like a yard. waterer. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would kill. more people than them. Right. I also. have like, you know what I mean? I get. hungry real quick. Like some of the like. some of these boats that are out there. I mean, US um vessels are out there. They're running out of food, right? So, if I was in the jungle fighting in a. war, I would just biting trees and [ __ ]. Whatever. I mean, I got eat I would eat. anything if I. >> I would. Dude, if you got shot, I'm. going to take some.

>> Well, you you'd eat part of my body. >> Just some. >> Well, what what part would you have. first? You think? Be honest. >> The tip, dude. >> Oo, bro. Just have it all. If you're. going to have [laughter] it. >> No. No. Just the tip. >> Just if you eat the tip off, dude. It's. going to [ __ ] look so weird. >> You're dead. Who gives a [ __ ] man? >> I'm a P. I said. >> No, I want This is what I want. >> If I was a P. Yeah. Don't eat just a. half of my wiener. You know what I would. do? I would tuck all I would cut all of. it. Your testicles and your penis, right? And I would tuck everything on.

inside a hole and then at your funeral. people are going to go Theo was a. [ __ ] [sighs] trans man. [laughter]. >> Yeah. No, >> I do tricks, >> dude. If what if they what if I was a. trans man and they buried me in a. transam, dude? [laughter]. >> Yeah, that [ __ ] I'll be there at the. funeral. But no. Um. >> but dude, that would be cra like Yeah. Just don't. >> Would you draftwise would you. >> Well, let me finish this up. Do you just. threaten me to eat my wiener in a. fictional? >> I was kidding, dude. >> Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, say that then. >> because um. >> there's a comedy podcast. >> Yeah, I understand that.

>> You understand that? >> But when you show up with your energy. and. >> What do you mean my energy? >> Some of it seems today to be a lot and a. little bit threatening. Is that fair to. say? >> A little bit. A little bit. >> Yeah. You say I'm going to have. >> Pakistan again, huh? >> Yeah. You're just like I'm going to. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]. >> No. When you say I'm just going to nip. off the end or whatever. Yeah, I would. never do that, dude. You know what I But. I don't want the I don't want my wiener. to be missing the end of it and people. are like, "What happened?" I'm like, "It. got nipped or whatever." Dude, dude, the. honest truth.

>> Can we say nipped or not? >> Absolutely. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would I. wouldn't nip, right? I wouldn't lick. You mean I wouldn't gargle? >> Oh, you I mean I wouldn't smell. >> What are you talking about? >> No. No. What I'm saying if you died on. the in on in the war. Okay. >> And I would literally. >> take your tags. >> Yeah. >> Right. I would bury you. I'd make a. little I'd make a little, you know what. I mean? Tombstone. Yeah. >> Here lies comedian Theo Vaughn. >> And I wouldn't do anything. You know.

what I mean? >> You wouldn't do anything to my body to. desecrate it. >> No, dude. But everyone around me, other. soldiers. Yeah. >> You think so? >> Yeah. Cuz I know you. There's no way I'm. going to eat to get the tip. >> or eat any part of your body. I Dude, I'd [ __ ] have a little bit of your. ass, boy. Not your ass, but I say like, boy. Sorry, buddy. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let me put this hat. on. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna put my hat on. >> Bobby, can you scoot your chair to the. left a little? >> Just scoot left a little when you get. seated. >> Okay. >> You know what time it is? Prize picks.

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volatile. So, do your own research and. trade responsibly. Dude, I remember the. summer, bro. I remember the first time. I'd ever seen a um. what's it called? A eagle, bro. First. time I'd gotten out of school for summer. vacation, right? And you remember, you. know, the last day of the school year, you get out and I remember walking down. the street because my bike somebody. stole my bike and I saw that beautiful. thing and I I couldn't I didn't even.

know they had you could put that much. just dang just quality beauty onto. something. I didn't think you could get. something that nice unless you rented it. from like an Ashley Furniture or. something. But anyway, iconic summer. moments deserve an iconic drink. It's. Mountain Dew, an American original. The. refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. is the perfect companion to your. American summer adventures. When I get. me a little Mountain Dew, man, I like. the diet cuz I, you know what I'm. saying? Cuz I get that rattle in me.

sometime. I like that Mountain Dew diet. and my c I get to hold my little god. nephew sometimes and he's a baby. And if. you just dude, I get me a little. Mountain Dew diet in me and you put my. god nephew in my arms and dang. Amen, brother. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of. Mountain Dew, an American original. tasting great since 48, 1948. Look for. American DeW limited time packaging or. find it in stores near you at. mountaind.com.

That's mountd.com. >> Uh, but um, >> you look like Tokyo Drift AF, bro. Right. now. >> Thank you, man. Another one, huh? >> Huh? >> Just going to keep going. >> I'm saying look like Tokyo Drift as. [ __ ] It's a fun game. Um, movie, I. mean. >> Huh? >> Hello. >> Yeah. I'm just saying. >> Okay. So, in a war now, what would you. do. >> in a war? >> Yeah, >> I would. Okay. Hold on. >> Okay. Yeah. Yeah. >> Chill out, man. >> We're fighting again. Let me Let me give. you the circumstance. Okay. Give me the. circumstance. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> We're doing Vietnam 2.

>> Oo, >> there's got to be a sequel. Yeah, cuz we. lost the last one. >> Did y'all? >> Y'all I'm always on your team. [laughter]. >> What do you mean y'all? I was born here, guy. Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I know. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You do. Yeah. >> But I'm saying. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'd still be Dude, if I was. an American soldier, I'd still be. wearing this hat. >> You would? >> So I could sneak on to the other side, >> bro. We would do the We would be in the. best military ever. >> You and I? >> Yeah. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Dude, we would [ __ ] stay up all night.

partying. >> Oh, dude. I would relapse. >> Eating Twizzlers. Oh, yeah. Dude, we. we'd relapse on opium, dude. That our. own government would sell to it. soldiers. >> Yeah. We would be Yeah, we'd be shooting. opium. Yeah. Listening to Purple Haze. >> Some folks born. We'd be cutting our. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it again. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we're like. shooting opium, right? And they're just. like kissing tips. >> Yeah, dude. And [laughter] yeah, you be.

kissing the dip with music, heroin, just. the tip. >> Bro, I just want to be straight and help. my country. >> I'm straight, too, dude. I have a. girlfriend now. >> Dude, here's what we'd be doing. We'd be. staying up late and we'd get pissed off. and I would cut one of my nipples off. and just throw it and you'd catch it in. your mouth. >> Oh, that'd be cool, dude. >> That's how [ __ ] up we'd be. That's. partying. >> That's partying. >> That's partying, dude. >> Oh, yeah. I know. >> And then I would sew it back on your. nip. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, dude. Good god, WHAT IS IT GOOD. FOR? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Say it again.

>> Born in the USA. >> Yeah. Anyway, Vietnam 2. Vietnam 2. What. would you do? You're drafted. Theo. drafted. >> Okay. >> Born in the USA isn't a Vietnam song. >> That was written way after. >> I know, but I'm just saying. >> Don't sing that song then for. >> It doesn't apply to both of us, so I. won't sing it. Let's go on. What? USA. >> Wait, what do you mean? What? >> I mean, bro, >> dude, I'm USA all the way, dude. >> Are you? >> Oh, yeah, dude. Well, guess what? One of. my favorite restaurants are Cracker.

Barrel. >> Oh, it is. >> Am I American or what? >> Cracker Barrel. >> Cracker Barrel. >> Cracker Barrel. >> Yeah. Really? They're I think it's the. best breakfast, >> dude. It's a good breakfast spot. >> It is. Sometimes they get. >> But when I walk in in the south, there. always is like they everyone stops. working. >> Yeah. >> When I walk in. >> Yeah. Well, there's kind of like a. moment of remembrance like when. >> you think so. They're not saluting me. >> No. >> They're like, "What the [ __ ] is this?". >> Well, it's cuz some of it's just like. there's like an old like I remember this. like my my stepdad and he was in the. wars, right? And he.

>> What war? >> I don't know. He was in at least two two. out of three. And he went to he would. take my mom to the Chinese buffet. It. was called. >> in the war. >> No, no. In in town, he would take this. they had like this place called Yellow. Bellies or whatever. It was a Chinese. buffet or whatever. I don't remember. What was it called? >> Let's see if you can look it up. >> But he would take my he would take my. mom over there. I'm not even joking. Yellow. Huh? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. [laughter] He would I'm not. joking, Bobby. >> No, it it's not called Yellow Bellies.

It was. >> There's no way it's called Yellow. Bellies, dude. >> Bro. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It was called Yellow Bellies. And they. changed the name. They changed one of. the letters on the sign. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> To um to like Yellow Bells or whatever. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's better. >> Cuz the eye burnt out or whatever. So, it was just like yellow bells and it was. just like. >> Oh, it was a belly with an eye at then. Yeah. >> Oh, that's so funny. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. See, that's what I'm saying. It's. a play on words. >> Oh, yeah. But it's um so anyway, what. happened was he would after dinner, he. would always go sit my mom in the car.

and then he'd go back in and he would. like. >> apologized to some of the workers that. worked there for like things that had. happened when he was in um different. conflicts. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. >> But we've never been in a conflict with. China. >> Is it Chinese restaurant? >> Yeah. >> So your uncle would go into a Chinese. restaurant and apologize. >> It wasn't my uncle. It was somebody that. my mom smashed. >> All right. Whoever your mom's smashing. my mom. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, we've never been. in a war really with China. So, he's.

apologizing to a group of people that. they have no idea what the [ __ ] he's. talking about. >> They know. >> No, they don't know. A Chinese people. are like, "Oh, oh, thank you so much for. apologizing cuz we were feeling so bad. about it." No, but dude, not everybody. This happens a lot in small towns, Bobby. And this is the truth. A lot of. small towns if they open up a place that. is ethnical in the town and [laughter]. it's different. >> Yeah. >> They will hire anybody that even looks. like that culture to work there. >> So I could get a job at Yellow Bell.

>> [ __ ] yeah, dude. >> Manage it. >> Huh? >> Management. >> Maybe assistant manager. >> Okay. Okay. >> You know, maybe they might let you. manage on Sundays. But what I'm saying. is this. So he would then he would go in. and kind of apologize. And you have to. think, this is something kind of crazy. So a lot of people went and fought in. some of these wars, right? Then they. came back and they never saw anybody. from any of these cultures until like 40. years later when a restaurant with some. different ethnical food showed up in. their town. And that's the that's like.

the they never that's kind of crazy to. think that, you know. Does that make. sense to you? >> Let me get this right. Yeah. >> Okay. So, what you're saying is you're. who let's just call this guy Jim. >> Okay. What do you want to call him? >> His name is Charlie. >> Okay. [laughter]. All right. Can I call him Charlie? >> Yeah. Yeah. Ironic. >> that his name is Charlie. >> I mean, look. [laughter]. >> And he was a nom. >> You were going to call him that no. matter what. >> Yeah. But sure, you can. >> Yeah. And he died and he wore a lot of.

>> Rest in peace, Charlie. >> He wore a lot of gloves. >> So, what you're telling me is Charlie. came back from the Vietnam War. >> Y. >> didn't see an Asian person for 40. [ __ ] years. >> Yeah. >> Right. And all of a sudden, Yellow Belly. opens a Chinese restaurant. Semi-Chinese, off Chinese. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Semi-Chinese. All. right. And he walked in there and. because he hadn't seen an a Vietnamese. person in 40 years, he went up to a. Chinese person and apologized for the. Vietnam War and what he did.

>> Yeah. >> Okay. His heart had been changed. >> Yeah. [laughter]. That's the truth, Bobby. Bobby, that's the truth, man. [laughter]. I swear. >> I know. But maybe go to My. >> I understand that. Maybe go to a. Vietnamese person. >> But they don't have all. >> They don't have a Vietnamese restaurant. in town. >> We It doesn't at that point. It's like. you just take what you can get, bro. They They're They'll hire a [ __ ]. Mexican guy who who's a [ __ ]. >> Who's high whose eyes look Chinese? >> Yeah. Who's Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A high. Mexican guy.

>> Yeah. Just like you smoked 20% when you. walk here. >> Whose eyes, you know, he's got those low. rider eyes, you know, like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. So what you're saying to me is is. that and did he feel did Charlie feel. better about doing that? >> He felt No, I just think over the years. his heart had been like he just kind of. like you know something you know he just. had probably some res remorse and for. >> and and I feel empathy for that. But um. I'll tell you what the Chinese people. were thinking at Yellow Belly. >> What?

>> What the [ __ ] about Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what they're thinking. Whoa. What. are you talking about? >> Nuhuh. >> Yeah. Yeah. because they're not in the. Vietnam War. Do you understand? I feel. like No, no, no. I I think that there's. I know exactly what I I I think No, because we do this all the time. >> No, we don't. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> No, we don't. >> Yeah, we do. We We do this all the time. And you know, uh. >> What do you mean we do this? >> You saying you and I have this. conversation a lot? >> Yeah. You and I always go into and I.

don't want to do it anymore. I think. this is the last time. >> Okay. Give me the other hat then. Huh? Oh, you want that sharecropper hat, huh? >> How you doing, man? >> Huh? >> How you doing, man? >> I'm good, sir. >> Yeah. Billy Lee, that's my name. >> Billy. Billy Lee. >> Billy Lee. >> Billy Lee. >> I love you. I love you. I'm happy to be. here today working for you, sir. What. can I do for you? >> I just want to apologize for what I did. to your people in the Vietnam War.

I apologize. What's your name, man? My. name? Yeah, man. >> My name's Clark. >> Clark. Clark, I apologize, but see how. that feels. >> You have Yeah. Yeah. You have nothing to. do with the [ __ ] Vietnam War. Yeah. You're a white dude named Clark wearing. that hat cuz you just happen to get a. job as a buser at Yellow Belly, right? And some guy Charlie, >> I've been working there for almost three. months. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, hey Clark, I want to.

apologize cuz I know you're wearing that. hat. You're probably, you know what I. mean? Yeah. I slaughtered a village, you. know, I mean, and I feel bad about it, man. So, hey, I want to give me a hug, man. We hug, right? >> Yeah. >> Get a little tip. Five bucks. Right. >> That's what he would do. He'd go in. there. He hit him with a little extra. >> Yeah. And he he uh Charlie seems like he. would hide the tip. So, there'd be a. like a nice like in Heated Rivalry. You. ever see that show? >> I haven't seen that. >> Yeah. Yeah. You know that show? The the. gay gay hockey show? >> Uhuh. Is that a show?

>> Yeah. You You never heard of Heated. Rival is the hottest show in America, dude. >> Is it really? I think my friend Josh. Morris is in it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Um it's about these two um. gay top gay hockey players, but they're. in love. Oh, >> there's a lot of gay love in it. >> Is Giani Paulo in it? >> Yeah. Yeah. No, [laughter]. >> I think Giani and Josh Morrisy might be. in it. >> Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, um in Heated, there's a scene in Heated Heated. Rivalry. Yeah. >> When one of the hockey players passes a. water bottle, right? So, I'm going to. just show you what one of them does.

>> All right. >> Right. So, they're they're not out. You. know what I mean? They're like these. like mainly hockey players, right? >> Can you pick it up with that hand, please? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. No, pick it with that hand. Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. And he he passes it like. this, right? And then he does this. >> How does that feel? >> Do it with this hand so people can see. it on the camera so you don't do with. your other hand. >> So do it with this hand. >> Use your left hand. >> Yeah. Yeah. I don't have a lot of. control in this hand, but I'll try. >> I don't give a [ __ ] Okay. So you pick. the pick the bottom. Uh pick the top. >> Okay. So you grab it like this and he.

goes, >> "What?". >> Yeah. And then you take the bottle. >> That's like one of the first episodes. >> It's like kind of like a um gay relay. race kind of. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was a gay. relay race, but it's also a way to show. like, you know what I mean, >> right? There's foreshadowing. >> Yeah. There's some foreshadowing. So if. I did that to you, you you and I doing a. show together at the store. Yo, yo, Bob, hand me a bottle of water, right? and I. handed you a bottle of water and you. stayed and I and I kind of just briefly.

with my finger rubbed your finger. Yeah. >> How would you feel about that? >> I would feel like you were rubbing my. finger and I would feel like you were. trying to give me trying to say. something to me, trying to say something. to me with just your finger without even. saying something to me that was gay. That and that and it would be something. that was gay. >> Yeah. And I'll tell you this right now. >> I don't give a [ __ ]. >> But would you do that to me? What if I. was unconscious? >> No, dude. You have to feel the finger. Oh, >> you know that slogan, feel the finger.

[laughter]. I don't think so. >> My grandfather used to say it all the. time. Feel the finger. >> But do you Yeah. See? Yeah. >> So, your grandparents can do that kind. of [ __ ] but my grandparents can't go. into a um. >> a uh. >> Chinese restaurant. >> Yeah. A buffet. And um. >> a Chinese buffet. >> A Chinese buffet. And try and reconcile. some differences. That's what I don't. understand. I'm saying that. >> you can you can reconcile differences. with people that you should you have to. reconcile differences with. Yeah. >> Not some other nation or people. It.

makes no sense. >> I don't know if that's you know. >> I don't know if I agree with you. >> Make your argument. >> Make your argument. >> I'm trying to make it. >> Yeah. Make your [ __ ] argument. >> You keep attacking me. >> I'm not ATTACKING YOU BECAUSE WHAT. YOU'RE SAYING IS NONSENSICAL, >> BRO. I'm just. >> No, NO, NO. BRO, NO. YOU don't know. anything about you think here's here. here's what you think Bobby no I'm no. I'm sorry Pakistan right I've been here. so many different times right and I'm. going to say what I'm going to say okay. >> you think no you think.

>> you're giving angry sharecropper energy. right now. >> yeah and I am one. >> okay. >> okay I have I have a farm I'm a farmer. >> okay I'll go do it on. >> you seem to think that the whole country. I mean you continent of Asia right is. one block that we have the same. tradition traditions, language, um, writings, culture, etc. They're all. >> I'm listening. >> completely different, >> right? I I believe you. >> So, it's it's like saying, "Oh, yeah, an.

American's like somebody from the. Congo." That's not true. It's not. What. if you said like, "Okay, somebody from. uh Mississippi is like somebody that's. from North Carolina. They're similar. They look similar, but they're. different. One of them probably watches. Outer Banks and one of them probably. listens to the soundtrack at the gym of. uh Mississippi Burning or whatever. >> But the the continent of North America, how many countries are in there. >> on the continent of North America? 51. >> No, >> isn't there? >> Three, >> dude. You're [ __ ] setting me up,

dude. >> There's No, I'M NOT SETTING YOU UP, DUDE. >> YEAH, you are. You're dude, you're MSAD. >> I'm not mad, dude. I'm the opposite. >> You are? >> Yeah. I'm in rubble. >> You what? >> I'm in rubble. >> You're in rubble? >> Yeah. >> Okay, [laughter] good. >> You understand what I'm saying? >> Yeah, I got you. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what I'm saying to. you is there's three countries on our. continent which are what? >> North America, South America, Mexico. >> No, no, no. [laughter]. >> What is it? >> See, that's why you know what I mean? Charlie shouldn't have said [ __ ] dog. >> But dude, >> he doesn't understand. I would like.

>> geopolitically things. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't understand. >> There's Canada, America, and also. Mexico. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Now is Central America. No, that's. a What is Central America? Is that. that's not a part of. >> Okay, this is when the wizard runs out. of his magic, right? [laughter]. >> This guy. Give me the How many countries. I mean, how many countries are in North. America? >> This uh is including Central America. >> Yeah, but is Central America, North. America? I don't think so.

Just just put in North America. How many. countries are in North America? >> Bro, no. Just let me finish. >> It's never going to end, dude. >> How many countries are in North America? 11. That's Central America and stuff. It's including but yeah in. >> Haiti. >> Yeah. In in North America there's three. countries. >> Okay. Grand. >> So it's it's like. >> Okay. Yeah. >> But here's my defense in in in defense. of Charlie is. >> defense of who? >> Charlie. >> Oh, okay. >> He would Bro, they don't What I'm saying.

is in in some in some smaller. communities, they will open up a place. that has a cuisine from an area even a. realm, right? So. >> realm? What do you mean? Like Lord like. Lord of the Rings [ __ ] Yeah, they'll. open up with some [ __ ] Mongalorian. >> Oh, Mongalorian restaurants. Those are. my favorite. >> Or, you know what I'm saying? They'll. open up a uh Mandarin. >> Yeah. Or Mongolian stir fry place. >> Chinese adjacent. They'll. >> Yeah. Chinese adjacent. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, they'll open that up, Bobby. And. then. >> people the people that work there, first.

of all, dude, there's no way anybody. THERE'S NO WAY TO WIN THIS ARGUMENT. IT'S [ __ ] CRAZY. Let me take this hat. off. There's no I I'm going to hear you. out. >> What's the problem with the hat? >> Yeah. I don't like it. I I want to just. be myself. I'm Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, what? There's no way to win this. argument, but I'm so interested to see. how you're going to do it. Go ahead. >> Okay. This is my final rebuttal. All. right. Go ahead. And this is like the. end of that movie. Have you seen um A. Time to Kill? >> No. Give me another movie. >> All right. Uh. Oh, Lincoln Lawyer, but I think I don't. >> Yeah. Yeah. Give me another movie. >> All right. Um.

Bridge Over the River Kawaii. >> Yes, I have. >> Okay. So, this is different than that. >> Okay. Here's what I'm going to tell you. Well, >> that's Santino. It is. >> Yeah. Hold on. Yo, what's up? You're on I'm I'm doing. Theo's. So, >> Project Hail Mary is one of the best. movies I've seen in years. >> I know. It was an amazing movie, right? What's it called? Bus Boys. >> I cried. I cried like four times. >> I I told you, dude. That's one of the. best movies I've seen in years. >> What's it called? >> And then right after I went and I. watched Bus Boys, which is now in.

limited theaters all around the country. >> Yeah. And how do you feel about Bus. Boys? >> Bus Boys. Bus Boys is up there with some. of the greatest um fantasy sci-fi dramas. I've [laughter] ever seen. >> Yeah, I agree. I agree. >> Loved it. I loved every second of it. Hi, Theo. >> Hey, brother. What's up, man? We miss. you. >> Miss you. Love you guys very much. Sorry. to interrupt. I'll. >> We'll talk about the movie later. >> But what was that movie called? What was. that movie called? No. >> I'm going to tell you after we hang out. >> Okay, great. Okay. >> Goodbye. >> Okay, let me get. >> Project Hair on Larry.

>> Project M. It's great, huh? >> It's so good. I want to go see it. Is it. in theaters or is it on VOD? I I would. re recommend you watch it in theaters, but you're not going to watch it. >> Yeah, I will. >> Would Charlie watch it? >> Huh? >> Would Charlie watch it if he was alive? >> No, he then that's you're part of the. same. >> He liked to be in the shed and he liked. to curse a lot. >> Like the uni bomber. >> I [laughter] don't know about that. No. >> Okay. >> But he took care of my mother. He had a. small dog. >> But here's what I want to tell you. though. >> Oh yeah. Finish the argument. >> Okay. A lot of times in small. communities, Bobby, people if anybody. seems semi-Asian, if anybody seems.

>> What's a semi- Asian? a guy who's Asian, but also you don't know if he's Asian, man. If somebody just has dark hair and. >> it could be a white guy, but he has. funny eyes. >> Even just a trans chick who can't see. that good, right? Like people will [ __ ] It all works in. that sort of place. >> It doesn't work. >> It doesn't. >> It doesn't work for us, bro. But in that. kind of place, you just you just take. what like you like. >> you take what you can get. >> Right. Right. Right. And so they'll have. people sometimes you'll get a Mexican. guy that's been in a fire even and.

they'll be like, "Oh, this guy's. Taiwanese or something." He's not. But. people don't know, dude. They just So. I'm just saying like sometimes that kind. of [ __ ] happens and people try to make. bridges where they can. >> Okay. If there was a guy that was. slightly blue, would you think that they. were from the movie Avatar? I'm sure. Charlie would have went up to him, [laughter]. you know, and offered him a [ __ ]. >> Dude, speaking of Yeah. Yeah. >> But let's move on, dude. >> No, no, I No, I don't want to move on. I. I think I see your point of view, right? >> I'm not saying it's right or anything. I'm saying. >> Yeah. Yeah. What I'm saying though is is.

that this is small t um you know what I. mean? Uh worldview, >> but also big. bring up that Asian fellow we had on. here, that young boy or whatever. >> Yeah, I remember I saw some clips. >> Um. yeah, Asian Ray. Young boy Asian. >> Bobby Ki to your left. >> Yeah. And he listen to the listen to. what he said one day that brought me. into some crazy. >> Okay. >> racism that was happening. >> Okay. >> I don't think we'll find it there. It. might stop us, but maybe it won't. Maybe.

it will. I don't think it's on here. >> The full one might be on YouTube shorts. or something. Can you just find it? Um, dude. Oh, did you see those? Look, listen how messed up this is, dude. Did. you see Okay, there's moving slot. machines that are going on. >> Tell me I would like to see they move. >> Watch this. >> They move now. >> Oh, yeah. They're going to be coming. after y'all. >> All right. Look at this, Bobby. Whoa. So, say you're I know. >> Yeah. You're taking a [ __ ].

>> No. >> No. And it comes looking for you or. whatever. No. That's crazy. But say. >> your wife's like, "All right, you can't. gamble anymore tonight." And you have to. go to bed or whatever, right? >> And that thing comes knocking on your. door later with like a. >> little bottle of wine or something. >> Oh, that'd be crazy. >> You know, or even just for like. >> You put a hundred bucks in it, though. No. >> Yeah. Yeah, but that thing could pin a. [ __ ] Dude, that thing could pin a an. older Taiwanese man against a wallet. [laughter] and make him spend every buck. he's got. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I see what you're. saying. >> I'm just saying that's just messed up,

dude. >> Yeah. I think that this is too far. Is. that what you're saying? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Moving anything like. you know like But ATM machine too then. If they do this, they do ATM. Yeah. What. else machines can they do? >> Um Oh, you know the crane game? >> Oh yeah, that one. I would like that. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I've never gotten. one. Have you. >> really? You haven't? >> I could I can never grab it, dude. >> Huh? >> Yeah. Sometimes I'll I'll I'll I'll have. it hook onto like, you know, the like on. a plush toy. There's like the little um.

whoever manu like made in China. There's. like a little bit of a white. >> I try to get the crane, you know what I. mean? >> I go through the part of the ticket or. the uh little the little label and I try. to pull it up that way, but it somehow. slips, dude. >> Oh, dang. That's a good strategy, though. >> But um yeah, I just What is it? What. kind of age? >> What kind of what? >> What kind of age is he? This age? >> No, age. Asian. >> Uh, he's Tai. >> Oh, I like it. He's Tai. >> Yeah. Yeah. Tell me about him. What he. say? >> He's one.

>> He's Mexican or he's Taiwan. Sorry. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> He's Taiwan. >> And my center. >> No, I'm just saying look at the kind of. [ __ ] that these kids are coming over. here and saying by want to hear it. >> I will let you call me a chin chong. >> I'll give it a pass. >> Really? >> Yeah. Just call me one time. It's okay. I know you want to do it. >> I don't want to do it. I don't care. >> It's okay. Like like I'm cool. Like you. feel me? I'm going give it a pass. You. can say ching chong. >> I would not say I would probably I would. think it's I don't like ching chong that. much.

>> Why? >> I would maybe call you like uh slot. machine boy or something like that. Something that Asian people like to do. Look at this little. >> kind of. >> slot machine. >> Look at this little slot machine. Yeah. >> What you mean by that? Like we sl like. ding ding? Yes. Dude, >> that's a No, that's a slot machine. That's not I'm not saying that. >> Yes. >> No, I think that slot machine winner. It's like it'd be like a slot machine. just adding like a when you hit the. bonus on a slot machine and the money. goes up.

We know we all know each other. I I I can call Oon right now, dog. >> Kim Jong-un. >> That's right, dog. >> You know, he was supposed to play your. role in the movie. >> Who? >> KJ. [laughter]. Not even joking. >> You going to give him one line in a. movie? >> We offered him It's four lines. [laughter]. >> Are you going to put him in the. >> It was only. >> I was wait choice, dog. >> No, I WAIT, WAIT. I WAS second choice.

for four lines in your movie. >> Hold on. That's crazy, dude. >> I don't know if it's I don't know if. it's true or not. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I believe you. >> Yeah. You were a producer. >> and you wrote the thing, >> dude. We barely got through it there. We. made it during the fires. Bobby, >> yeah, I understand that. Listen about. this Asian guy. Okay. Number one, I. don't want to give him any more air. time. This guy's KIND OF [ __ ]. >> YOU BROUGHT IT UP. >> ALL RIGHT. >> YOU MADE ME WATCH THE WHOLE VIDEO AND. THEN LIKE WATCH IT. I WATCH I CAN'T say.

anything. >> All right, then. Go on. >> Right. He's not. He's from Ching Chong. >> Go on, Bobby. >> All right. He's from the land of them. He ain't no American. I'm American. >> Yeah. >> I know you are. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so it's like Ching. Chong hits different with me than that. Ching Chong. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. You know what I mean? So, it's. like, you know, >> that little [ __ ]. >> Also, let me say something. >> That little octopus knuckle, he ain't. [ __ ] man. >> He ain't [ __ ] dude. This little octopus. knuckle, dude. You know what I mean? And.

let me tell you something. Slots, I know. why you said that, man. Cuz a slot is a. slit. >> Nah. >> Yeah, that's why you said it. >> A slot is a slit and a slit is a slot, dude. >> Bro, I'm doing parables, dude. >> Parables? >> Yeah. Let me say something about. something. Let me let me say something. Okay. >> Right. I give you permission, maybe not on camera, but off camera to. say whatever you want to call me cuz I'm. not going to take it personally. >> I don't do that. Yeah, you do.

You have. And I've said I've called you. certain things. Oh, really? Yeah. Just to you off. camera. >> To me? Was I there? Yeah. Is that what. you're saying? I was there. [laughter]. >> Yes. Oh, off camera. You have? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not behind my back, though. >> No, not behind. No, behind your. >> You know what? >> Wow. >> Well, I don't want to defense rest. We're going to break for lunch.

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risk acorn advisors LLC and SC. registered investment adviser. View. important disclosures acorns.com/do. There's times in the past where I went. to the doctor and I didn't feel like I. got anything useful out of the visit. That's true. I'd go in there and one one. time the guy tickled me and wrote some. he wrote some profanity on on a little. sketch pad or something. That's why I'm. excited about this company called Super. Power. Superpower sends a licensed. professional to your home or you can. visit a nearby lab. It's one simple.

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wireless. You know, the animals aren't. breathing. You know what's going on. What I'm saying is some days feel good. and others feel overwhelming. BetterHelp. is reminding us that May is mental. health awareness month and it's a good. time to check in with yourself and. understand where you're at. That's where. BetterHelp comes in. BetterHelp. therapists work according to a strict. code of conduct and are fully licensed. in the US, America, and they do the. initial matching work for you so you can. focus on your therapy goals. And I do. want to say if you go see a therapist.

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chambers. We'll be back after lunch. Remember. that show? >> Yeah, I love that show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've said some stuff. behind your back. >> Oo, Bobby got that hitter, huh? >> What's up? >> What flavor is it? >> That's [ __ ] tobacco, dude. Yours is. just tobacco flavoring. Wow. >> I quit smoking over a month ago, so. sometimes I'll take a hit. >> That's insane, bro. Yeah, that's how I. quit. The [laughter] same way of [ __ ]. not quit. >> What do you mean, dude? >> That's not quitting,

>> dude. If you if if you're smoking a pack. of cigarettes a day, 20 cigarettes. >> Yeah. >> 20 cigarettes. and I lit one. >> Have you heard that song? No. >> Morgan Wallen? >> No. >> Dude, I went to his concert. >> I don't know the modern [ __ ]. >> I went to his concert the other night, >> dude. I saw I saw [ __ ] Karen. Carpenter at the Coachella. I didn't. know one song. >> Really? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> She came out. She came out and I had not. one song. No. >> Sabrina Carp. >> Sabrina Carpenter. >> Oh, yeah. >> Karen Carpenter died. Her and my her and.

my dad. Uh uh. >> yeah, >> dude. No. Morgan Wallen, dude. You Bro, you got to go see him, bro. >> No, no, I'm not going to see him, >> bro. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You got to do his walk out with him, bro. Have you ever seen he does walk. outs where people walk out with him? Nick Sabin freaking walked out with him, Bobby. >> Yeah. I don't even know who Nick Sabin. is, dude. >> I only know people. >> It's not Nick Saving, dude. Like, he's a. guy who freaking makes coupon. >> It's Nick Sabin. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Listen to me, guy. >> Bro, he loves you, dude. >> Oh, yeah. And I love him back, dude. But. what I want to say to you is this. Last. night we left the liquor talk,

>> bro. >> Bro, last night we left the liquor talk. >> That's good stuff, dude. Listen to me, dude. I don't listen. >> It's a regional thing, dude. You're out. there in Nashville. You mean all your [ __ ] right? We don't. do [ __ ] like that, dude. Right. Right. You know what I mean? Smooth. That's your [ __ ] dude. You know what I. mean? We do different [ __ ] out here in.

LA, dog. >> What? >> Yeah. Rap, punk bands, you know what I. mean? Y'all are. >> You're right. >> You know what I mean? You know what I. mean? >> Yeah. Last night my bus fell down a. river. [laughter]. Like music I don't even relate to. Last. night my dog came said hello. [laughter]. Those are like That's your music. You. mean my corn's growing like. sombrero? >> Like Nevada. >> Nevada. I'm sorry. Let's try the country. zone real quick.

>> What? >> All right. >> What? >> I woke up and I couldn't see this. morning. Then I realigned it was night. So I had to reddown my iPhone software. I put my white hat through the door. >> Amen. Bro, I like the ending is a It's. like a CBD.

>> It's a CBD. >> TBD. >> Could be decided. It's like Oh, TBC. You. said. >> exact, dude. Did you see that gay. volleyball? No. Hold on a second. >> We keep But bro, we're not We don't even. know what we're saying, bro. >> I know. That's the thing. That's the. thing. When you and I are together, right? Just say it, man. There's anxiety. and we want to get to the next thing, right? Because we think that silence is. bad. Oh, >> that's a good point. Uh, I do feel like. that. Have you always felt like that? >> No, but I realize it doesn't matter what.

you and I. It's going to be good. >> Well, let's sit here. >> It's going to be good and there's no. need for anxiety and there's no need to. like what's clippable and you know. because when you and I are together. sometimes it gets clippable and it. becomes sometimes viral. And when I and. when I was coming here today, there's a. reason why I haven't done your [ __ ] in a. long time is because I don't like the. pressure of doing it with you. specifically because if we don't create. magic, right, then it was just a waste.

I brought that up to Nick today before. you came. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And I prayed about it before this. >> Yeah. But I what I believe is is that um. then when I was driving, I was like, I. don't care. Whatever it is, it is. >> Yeah. >> And I'm okay with that. You know what I. mean? Because um we're both doing well. in life and um I think I believe that. you're a very good person. I'm a good. person and um just not rush through it, man. I'm here as long as you need me. >> You know what I mean? But I think we. have something. I mean, where's Bear.

Dick at? >> He's over there. >> Yeah, Bear Dick. >> Yeah, >> did we get stuff already? >> Yeah, I think you gave the Clippers some. fuel. Yeah, >> we got some stuff, right? >> You got more than enough. >> We got more than enough. So, what I'm. saying is is that um. >> Can you slide to your right a little. bit? You're in theater, >> dude. Honestly, dude, what you're doing. right now, dude, is you said to go to. the left, now I got to go to the right. >> I you we haven't had this problem yet. You're You just You know, you're full of. energy. >> Does he look on center? >> He's just creeping into your shot. So, move your mic. >> Oh my god. I got to get here.

>> Move your mic and you're good. >> Bobby, look at this right here. This is. you in the movie. But no, look. [laughter]. >> This is you. >> This is your anxiety. >> Oh, there you go. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the guy. you beat out for your That's the guy. >> Okay, first of all, [laughter]. that's the guy you beat out. >> No, no, no. That's Kim Jong-un as me in. the movie, dude. >> No, he came in for a read. >> That's the guy you beat out for your. role, you freak. >> Oh, so he came from North Korea. >> Okay. [laughter]. >> And and and read went on set and read.

for you and he didn't get it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And then you were like, "Let what. other you know I mean Chong Chongs do we. know?" And then you called me. How many. people did you call before you called. me? Did you call Ken Jung? Did you call. Jimmy Oyang? >> I did send a text to Kim Jong. He didn't. text me back. >> Kim Jong. >> Kim Jong. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And I did also We did reach out to Ken. Young or Ken Jun. >> What [laughter] is his name at least? >> Kim Jong-un. >> Kim Jong-un. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> No, that's Ken Jong. >> That's Ken Jong. So he said no.

>> He said no. But he did he you know what. he did say though? They wrote a letter. back like his like affairs person. whatever. >> Yeah. And they said uh that they loved. David Spade and Dicky Roberts. I thought. that was just hilarious that they put. that in there. That was pretty cool. >> Who else did you offer before you. offered it to me? >> We offered it. You were You were right. You were second. >> Oh, so Kim It went Kim Jong-un, the. dictator from North Korea. >> Y. >> and then I was second. >> 100%. I promise. >> 100%. >> Yeah. >> Thank you so much. >> You bet. >> You mean because I think you got it. If. you got dictator like Victor Orban.

>> and then we got Dick Taster. [laughter]. So, I think we did good. >> Dude, it's not fair what you just said. >> Bro, you didn't have a lot. >> Yeah, I just took Yeah, I licked the. tip. >> I only had a Yeah, I only had Yeah, I. [laughter] only. >> I did. Okay, dude. That's all I did, right? And and you know this about me, dude. >> I do. >> I I might be 5% by that. And that's not. a lot. >> That's not a lot, dude. >> Bro, these days. >> these days, dude, they go all the way. 100%. Dude,

>> you know what I mean? And it's like I I. didn't get that. No, >> I would be okay if I had 100%. But I'm. I'm only 5%. >> Dude, if I was gay, I would just I think. so. >> I think you're I think you're 3%. >> 3%. >> Yeah. Yeah. I think in the right. circumstances, you would kiss the tip. >> I would. >> Henry Cavo. >> Who's Henry Cavo? >> Superman. The one before. >> No, I'm not having some guy who's. working all the time out meeting people. at night and [ __ ] like that. >> Okay. >> Here's what I I will say this. If I if I. didn't get married to a woman at some.

point and there was like a cool dude who. was not trying to like do any sex or. touch my ass or anything but wanted to. chill separate rooms. Maybe he is a chef. or something. >> Maybe if I also don't have to talk to. him every day. >> Okay, so that's 1%. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Okay. You're 1%. >> 1%. >> Or even Dude, I dated a chick with hard. tits and that freaking kind of that was. a lot, >> dude. I did it at Hot Chick. >> Yeah. >> With Sarah Connor ass.

>> No. >> You know Sarah Connor from Terminator? >> Nuhuh. >> Yeah. Like she was buff. >> Mhm. >> Right. So her ass felt Schwarzenegger. like. >> Oh yeah. >> You know what I mean? Where I like it. when it's like there's like some fat. You know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> And she was beautiful, but her ass was. Sarah Connor and I couldn't do it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like cuz I'm not the. Terminator. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? I don't have those. robotics. Some ass too of women they go. to the gym so much and their ass has a. little bit of hair on it. That's the. craziest thing.

>> Yeah. Like how much hair? >> Not a lot, but just enough where you. feel they shaved a couple times, you. know? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And that's not crazy. I don't care. >> But it is a surprise. >> It's a surprise sometimes when you go in. the cave and you see some foilage. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? That I don't like. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. I like my caves clean. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you have We have. now the technology to do it. I don't. want foilage cuz I'm not like a cave. dweller. Dude, would you go back in the. 1400s, you think, and eat a little bit. of ass or what? >> In the 1400s, I would pass on that, dog.

>> All right. >> Yeah, man. You get the measles. >> Oh, you will, huh? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You'll get some sort. of like, you know what I mean, thing. that would kill somebody back then. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'd have like one of those. Asian, you know what I mean? >> I mean, >> you get masks. >> You get that holy polio. [laughter]. >> Would you eat 1400 ass? >> Polo polio. >> Um, no, dude. I'm not doing that [ __ ]. dude. I will tell you [laughter] this, bro. I don't know. I wouldn't even answer. that question. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why would you? You asked me. >> I know. >> Yeah. I wonder. But here's the thing.

Let's just before you move on cuz you're. viewing anxiety. I know you're doing. >> You're right. I'm getting anxiety. Let. me chill out. >> All right. Chill out for a second. Okay. You know, because I'm a I'm a podcaster. as well. >> I know, dude. You're a professional. You. guys want to have one of the top 10. podcasts in the world. >> So are you. So, um. >> That's crazy to think that, though. I. don't think about it, >> but it's still crazy to think. I don't. >> It's crazy just that it that it's. >> people tell me I go, "Oh, I I guess.". >> What is Is your podcast big in um like. in other parts of the world? >> I don't know. I don't know the stats.

>> I don't know the stats. And it's like, you know, it's it's like that old term, you know what I mean? I don't live in. the results. >> Oh, a coke uh cooked pot doesn't boil or. whatever. What is that term? What is it? >> A watch pot doesn't boil. >> Watch pot doesn't boil. >> A cooked pot does boil though. A cooked. pot does [laughter] boil. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, how. about this? What else? When you use. terminology sometimes, Yeah. think about. it first. I think that's one of your problems. You. I mean, when it pops into your head, I.

don't think there is that thing that. goes, let's think about it. Yeah. >> You just say, "What's that term? Coke. cook, you know, I mean, boils." You know. what I mean? And it's like, >> it's not the right thing. So, it's I. think that's a part of your anxiety. >> Yeah. You're right. >> Right. It's hard for me to leave that. space in a place. I'll just like if. something's like somebody if two people. are sitting there and we nobody's. talking it gets really uncomfortable. >> Yeah. >> You're that way too, Bobby. >> No, I've changed for me. >> Are you serious? >> Oh, yeah. I'm Dude, I'm so serious. >> Like, what' you really do to change. that? Cuz that's a big thing. A lot of.

people deal with it. >> because I don't really care it really. anymore. I I have empathy and I care about the. world and that's not what I mean. I. don't care like whatever direction my. life takes. I'm just gonna go with the. flow and it's not my responsibility or. I'm not a psychic. I don't know what's. going to end up happening to me. >> But what question you answering right. now? What I'm asking you is uh. >> what do you mean? >> If like say you and I are talking and or. say you're talking to anybody, right, and there becomes a moment of silence. This happens to me a lot in. relationships. If there's a moment of.

silence, it's hard for me to just sit. there and let there be silence. >> Yeah. But that's. >> but you said that you've changed with. that. So I'm what I'm asking is how have. you changed? What have you done that's. changed? Because that's kind of. >> I think therapy has helped. I think. Lexapro has helped. I you know sometimes. I'll tell Rolin for my ADHD. I didn't. take any today. >> How much pro you on? >> Yeah. Pro. What? >> Lexapro. >> Lexapro. Yeah. >> Um 10 milligrams I think. >> Okay. That's a low dose. >> Yeah. It's a little It's a dose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's like when. they say um when you're performing a lot. of comics hate the silence, but that's. when they're listening,

>> right? and I feel so comfortable with. you because we've known each other for. so long that um we could take a break. We don't always have to like chase a. laugh or say something super. interesting. That's the thing. It's like. we perform for the algorithm and for. what people are going to want to watch. I think with you with you sometimes it. does turn into that or this is the first. time I've ever thought that. So it's. funny that you said that before you came. over whenever you got over here because. I did think that. Didn't we talk about. it, Nick? said, "Um, what did we say?

>> What What are we going to talk about?". And I was like, "Let the moments. happen.". >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And And if the moments don't. happen, I'm okay with that, too. >> That's okay. >> Because we'll podcast again. >> Yeah. >> And again, >> and I don't want to lose out on a chance. to have a good time with you. >> We're already I'm already having a. blast. >> Me, too. >> You know what I mean? The things that. you talked about, Charlie, was insane. >> It's not It's not that. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And And yeah, it's. [ __ ] insane. And that's already. that's already something that people are.

going to go, "What the [ __ ] is he. talking about?". >> Well, cuz he's a small town. Like, he. likes to go out to eat. >> No, no, no. I don't want to reg Don't do. your [ __ ] confused white face. You. guys do that a lot. Your confused white. face. >> Who does Who are you? >> You know, you guys, you guys do that a. lot. >> Oh, you think we didn't start a war? >> What? >> And your your eyes cross. What? You know. what I mean? YOU STARTED IT. YOU STARTED. IT. WINS. >> YEAH, YOU STARTED IT. >> OH, IT'S BEEN GOING ON FOR 47 YEARS.

>> That's [ __ ] [laughter]. >> I mean, they're about They were about to. have a nuclear weapon. Come on, man. I. >> don't do confused white face. I get it. I know the tone. Yeah, I've been around. a long time. I know confused whites. >> That's Trump and HIS [ __ ]. >> I KNOW, BUT THAT YOU'RE SOMETIMES you're. a confused white. >> You think so? That's Trump and his. [ __ ] missile monkeys doing that [ __ ]. >> But those missile monkeys are also. confused whites monkeying it around. >> I know. >> You know what I And what I'm saying is. is that you mean don't confuse white me. dog. >> You're right.

>> You know what I mean? Cuz I'm a confused. yellow. >> No, you're not. Sometimes I am. >> Really? >> I get confused. Yeah. But the Lexa Pro. seem confident. Has it really helped. you? What has it helped you with? I'll. say this. You seem a little less shy. [laughter]. cuz sometimes you get shy. You ever try. to put your hand in an aquarium and you. try to get a get one of the fish out of. there? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like a koiish. >> or just at a party or whatever and they. keep going. They will not come into your. hand. >> Yeah, because it's a defense mechanism. >> But that's how you are. >> No, but they're like uh uh you mean a.

crazy white is, you know what I mean? Trying to grab me. >> Oh, no. White. >> I'll keep my hand open and just wait. till something comes in it. >> Will you Will you clutch it? >> No, it's kind of softly open like this. >> Do they ever do it? >> Never. >> Never. You know why? >> Why? >> They're scared. >> That's how remind me of you. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You That's a behavior I get out of you. >> Yeah. I'm not really that scared. anymore. >> Good. >> Yeah. Yeah. Are you scared? >> [ __ ] yeah. [snorts] No, I'm happy to. hear that. No. Are you scared? Are you. scared? >> I you know I I've gone through a period. recently in the past few months where I'. i've definitely dealt with some fear, you know? >> Yeah. Yeah.

>> I think scared of like um. >> Yeah. I don't know, dude. Like things. get scary in the world and you think. like uh Yeah. If you say certain things. that people are going to do something. bad to you or something bad could happen. to somebody, you know, >> do I get death threats and things like. that? Yeah, that's scary. You know what I mean? >> You get those. >> sometimes I have. >> From who? I'm not going to I blocked. them immediately. I don't know who. >> Have you ever gotten a stalker before? >> Oh, yeah. >> No way. >> Have you?

>> Nope. Never. >> Can I tell you something that's you're. confused about again? >> Yeah. >> Right. And this has happened to me four. or five times. I'll have a I'll match with somebody. with Rya. >> Mhm. >> I'll take them on a date and they'll go, "What's Theo up to?" And I go because I. was hanging out with Vancouver and then. like I couldn't get in touch with him. and it's like you know like tell me all. you Ryan and four matches were listen.

hear me out. >> I'm listening. >> Four of my Ryan matches right were. because they were trying to get to you. and that's when I deleted Rya. >> You're off. >> I'm off of it. >> I've never been on it. >> I know. But my point is is that you know. what I mean? Like you know. >> my point. >> Yeah. >> that women probably do stalk you. I. believe they do because Yeah. I I I do. have a lot of women, you know, I mean, on my Instagram going, you know what I. mean? Tell Theo I think he's hot. >> That's crazy. >> Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, you know, I'm. pretty hot. >> Yeah, dude. If I were a gay dude, I.

would [ __ ] smash you, dude. Or I. would date you. I'd ask you out. Sorry. >> Don't smash right away, man. Where you. going to take me? >> Huh? >> Where you going to take me? >> You know where? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love belly. [laughter]. >> Bro, >> and we'll apologize for Charlie. Hey, free appetizers. [laughter]. Yeah. No, dude. >> I would take me somewhere nice. >> I would take you somewhere. >> Like if I said like, um, what town is. this? >> LA. I would take you to Homoas. If they. have [laughter] that, dude, it's just. too gay, dude. Just disguising their.

wiener as fish. Like, oh, >> no. I I think you would take me. somewhere nice. Like if I go, hey, take. me to Mastro's steakhouse. >> I would take you somewhere nice. Really. nice. Yeah. Yeah. >> My friend Matt Weiss used to take me. there all the time. We make out like if. if you were gay and I was at your date, would you make out with me that night or. >> I don't think so. I don't like to make. out on a full stomach. So. >> Oh, yeah. Me either. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> It's crazy. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what I've. been doing lately, dude? Inner. cleanings. >> What is it? Are you talking uh.

>> I've been doing inner inner cleanings, dude? >> Are you And what do you guys And what do. you mean by. >> What do you mean you guys? >> What What do you mean by it when you say. inner cleanings? What are you talking. about? Um, >> when I say inner cleanings, what what. would I what would that. >> What do you you talking about? >> I just had a colon colonoscopy. >> Oh, damn. That butt fountain or. whatever. >> Yeah. Yeah. I got a B butt fountain. They found no pulp. Did they? >> Yeah. And they found no cancer. >> Let's go. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And now I do inner. cleanings. So, what I'll do is by my. bathtub, I have one of those Japanese um.

toilets. Yeah. >> You know what I mean? >> Oh, yeah. Right. >> I sit on it. It warms up right away. My. stepdad, he would shoot those if he saw. them. [laughter]. >> You Charlie would. >> he's like, >> he wouldn't shoot, but he would draw on. it. >> Yeah, he would draw on it. >> He would draw. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, it's a flashback. and trauma. >> I know. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. >> That's what I'm saying, dude. >> Yeah. Anyway, um and what I do is I have. fancy body wash next to my toilet.

Right. So, I I have a bedet. You have a. bedet? >> No, I don't have that. >> Do you know what one is? >> Yeah, I know it's something that washes. into your ass and stuff like that and I. respect it. I'm glad we have it as a. culture but I don't want it. >> Why don't you want it? >> I'd rather wash my own ass like a. [ __ ] man. [laughter]. >> What? I know. But the thing is is that. when you use dry toilet paper, right, you're not getting the inards. >> But sometimes you'll put some weter on. that toilet paper, dude. >> What's a weter? >> Wetner. Keep your little stash of water. by your toilet. >> YEAH. WELL, JUST GET A [ __ ] BODE. IT. JUST DOES it naturally when you press a.

button. >> Yeah. If you need you YOU'RE GOING TO. HAVE A [ __ ] wetner. IT'S THE SAME. [ __ ] THING, >> DUDE. I'm not [ __ ] letting some Whimo. [ __ ] clean my ass, [laughter] dude. All right. >> I'm doing it myself. >> But you can control the angles. >> I'm oldfashioned. >> All right, dude. So, I control the. levels so it it hits the hole. >> But that's not a colonoscopy, by the. way. >> I already had one last week. Okay. But. I'm now I'm talking about cleaning my. inards. >> Do they let you keep anything that comes. out of it? Like if they have like a. >> They found a fingernail. >> Nuh-uh. >> Yeah. Yeah. They found a fingernail. >> [ __ ] yeah. I knew those are in there. Somebody said those are in there.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Those are in there, dude. >> No, but so I I So your health is good? >> No. No, let me finish my inner story, dude. That's what your problem is. >> You're right. >> All right. And I take some body wash. I. let the bodet hit directly into the, you. know what I mean? Calamari is what I. like to call it. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Cuz that's what it looks like. >> Okay. >> Right. Right. I hit the calamari. Right. And then sometimes I'll open up my own. cheeks. Right. >> Oh, damn. >> So that the water sprays right into the. hole. >> into the hormuz. Huh.

>> The horm spray straight hormuz. Right. >> It does close. It does close, right? You. know what I mean? But you know what I. mean? We're charging. [laughter]. >> We're charging 2 million per for per. vessel. >> That's what you got. >> I charge my poo, dude. >> Yeah. I charge my poo $2 million and. they pay it. >> True. >> That's what you got to tell your. butthole. It's like, "Hey, blink twice. if you're in trouble, you know.". [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, I spray it inside. and I then I'll take a tissue paper, some body wash, right? I'll get it. inside the hole and I'll do a double. spray. >> Ooh.

>> Right. In the hole. Right. Then I do a. dry wipe. Okay. >> Right. And I leave so that like, you. know, I mean, when you're having. sexualities with my girlfriend, right? Um, you know, I mean, there's no. problem, >> right? >> I mean, aren't you self cleaning when. you know you're about to hook up? >> Yeah, I'll wash my whole body. I've been. taking a little break right now from. dating and stuff like that, but I'll. wash my whole body. >> I do that, too. I do that, too. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I only wash that.

[laughter]. >> I don't know. I don't know what you're doing. >> You're [ __ ] No. Wait. Wait. No. Wait. >> Have you ever met yourself? Have you. ever MET YOURSELF? >> HAVE YOU MET YOURSELF? [laughter]. >> IT'S CRAZY. >> You're crazy, dude. >> You're [ __ ] crazy. Whatever. He was. white, dude. >> Whatever. You told me. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. But I told you. what. >> Huh? You said you used to work on the. Andrea Gale, dude. That fishing boat. that went down, dude. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I survived it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. I survived it. >> And you lied, dude. >> Yeah, I lied about it. So, my bad. But. let me say something right now. Okay. Of. course, I wash my body before I do that.

process. >> Okay. I got it. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's all That's all I'm. saying. All right. Yeah. Yeah. So, that's all you do is wash your body? >> I wash my body? I wash my whole body. Huh? >> You steam your body? >> I'll go to sauna in the morning. >> by in Nashville. >> Yeah. Nashville or here? >> Oh, you do? I've never been to sauna. with you. >> You haven't? >> No. I'd like to do it one day. >> Yeah. I I'd love to go over there, man. If you know, there's supposed to be some. good places that people go like as a. group and stuff. I haven't been any of. those. I'll just do it at home, but also. I'll go to Equinox over there and I'll. go over there. >> You mean as a group? like you know.

people there's like a bath house or. something. >> No, I'm not talking like an Otown. reunion is going. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. Okay. >> Um. >> like if we gathered a group of comics, me, you, Gillis, Santino, >> that' be so fun. >> That'd be fun. You know what I mean? And. would you be like one of those people. cuz a lot of And I'm I'm. >> I know I'm bringing white up a lot, right? All right. But what I'm saying. >> I knew you were going to do it before. you came here. >> Well, you bring up Asia a lot. Like. you're confused about the whole [ __ ]. continent. Well, you guys aren't sharing.

a ton of information. >> for to Iran. We are. >> to Iran. >> Yeah, we have satellites. >> Well, yeah, >> we're not getting much. I haven't You. guys aren't saying. >> I'm an American. Let's move on. >> Okay. >> Okay. But what I want. >> What I want to say is have you seen this. volleyball player that you [laughter] we. were trying to find a movie role for. you? When I was on Bad Friends, we were. trying to find a movie role for you that. would be really really great. And we're. like, [clears throat] what would be a. great movie role for Robbie? And we. found, have you seen this guy? >> Yeah. Yeah. Let's see it. >> This is my boy Jordan Lucas over at Sea.

Sun, dude. >> Okay. >> Splash, baby. He gets it done, bro. >> Oh, he's. Oh, I see. I understand. >> Welcome to Vi. Yeah, I understand. >> Valley Ball, baby. That dude is. >> He's in the valley, right? He's at Sea. Sun. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Sethridge. Northridge. >> Up in Northridge, bro. >> Oh, yeah. >> He put that flamnco on him, baby. >> Guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Flashing that. flamco. >> Yeah. So that's I would play a black gay.

man in a movie. >> No, this guy's not black. >> He's not. What is he? >> No. Jordan Lucas. >> Yeah. >> He's a [ __ ] boss. That's what he is. >> Oh, he's a boss. >> Yeah, dude. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He seems like a black. boss. >> He's sassy, bro. >> He's sassy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now, would. you be intimidated playing against him, >> bro? Game set sassy, bro. That dude is a. [ __ ] boss, bro. Would I be? Yes, I'd. be intimidated playing playing against. anybody that is doing that plays. volleyball. Well, >> yeah. Oh, that's true.

>> He's a boss, bro. >> Shout out C. And what's their team name. that uh. >> and it says right there, I can't stop. watching the vid of this Northridge. College volleyball beast diva. Lol. >> That's where we're at, bro. Be the beast. divas have launched, homie. >> The Yeah, bro. That's what we You need. >> You need that kind of like energy in the. world. You need aggressive, capable gay. males. or semi-gay. I I don't have no idea. Is.

this guy definitely has he said that he. would be saying that? >> I saw an interview with him. He's gay. >> He could only But he could be straight. and have gay moves. >> Now that's. >> I've done some gay moves, >> but I'm I'm You know what I mean? 95%. straight. >> We know, dude. >> No, no, no, no. Like I'll wait and I'll. go, >> okay. >> You know what I mean? But that doesn't. necessarily mean, >> right? >> You know what I mean? >> Oh, yeah. I'll. >> like when I kiss the tip, I do it manly. >> Okay. >> You know what I mean? That's not. >> like a dad like kissing his son goodbye. Like the one kissing going out for war.

>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Like that, dude. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Aggreg like aggressive but like. hetero. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Hetero. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. For sure. >> Yeah. Have you seen the Thai um draft? >> So there's a draft in Thailand. >> No. >> Yeah. Bro, you're Spike Lee. That would. be your name, dude. If that would be. your Asian name, bro. >> [laughter]. >> If you if you play volleyball, that's so. funny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> That'd be so [ __ ] sick, dude. >> Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, Spike Lee. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'd be spiking it. >> Yeah. Yeah.

>> Dude, you should do a show. heated rivalry where I'm Spike Lee, right? And uh. >> and we're not putting you on the poster. if we do it. >> You're volley. >> But we'll do a movie. You and me are the. leads and just I'm on the post. >> But it's like heated rivalry where I. hand you a finger. There's a finger, right? What do you think? >> So, you're saying will we do like a. >> It's a movie, so it's not. >> It's not real. >> It's art. >> It's art. >> You think Brokeback Jake Gonol? >> Yeah, I know Jake. >> You do? >> I love him.

>> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah, I had dinner with him once. He's a. great guy. >> You did? >> Yeah. >> Oh my gosh. You never even said that. >> Well, how would you know? You never. asked me. >> You think you would tell me? >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't tell you. everyone I've had dinner with. >> I know that. But at least you would say, "Hey, Jake Gilly on. >> Yeah. Yeah. He's a great guy. She's so. funny." Who's your dream guest to have. on your podcast on Bad Friends? >> Oh [ __ ] dog. Uh, my dream guest. >> or on your own podcast? >> Tiger Belly is my own podcast. >> Yeah, but I'm saying Tiger Belly or Bad. Friends. >> The dream guest would be um.

Brad Pitt. >> Wow. >> Yeah. I just want to see what it's all. about to see it up close. >> and personal. Yeah. >> Damn, bro. >> I want I want to see if it's an illusion. or if it's real. >> If it's makeup. Have you seen him in. real life before? Brad Pitt, >> I saw him one time. >> Yeah. Is it real or. >> I mean I was so scared. I didn't know. what to do and I just. >> Yeah. You tremble probably. >> Oh yeah. I was like opening a door for. him and I got all scared and [ __ ] and. >> he went in the building. I followed him. >> Yeah, [laughter] I know. But when you. look at him but he moved quick.

>> Yeah, I know. Like he looks like a very. quick guy. >> Yeah. >> Like one time I was um you know know. nothing about soccer. >> No, I know the World Cup's coming to the. USA. >> Yeah. Yeah, that's good. But anyway, um. my favorite soccer team is Arsenal FC. Mhm. >> Do it. When you do it, I do it. And uh. so the soccer team has a. >> war. Good god. WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. SAY IT AGAIN. >> OKAY. SO, UM I was I'm an Arsenal fan.

Can you hear? Here's the thing about. you. You don't listen. >> You're already Here's the thing about. you. You're already thinking about what. you're gonna say next, like a different. topic. So when I'm I know your eyes, right? So when I'm talking, right, you're already thinking about something. else. You're not really listening. >> Okay, my bad. Let me drop in. >> I You want You want this to be over? >> No, I don't. Tell me about Arsenal, dude. >> All right. So, their legendary player is. a guy named Tyrion Henry. Tyrion. T H I. E R R Y.

>> Yeah. How'd you know that? >> Because I've seen him before. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> He's one of the greats. People say he. looks like Sulie McCulla as well. A. [laughter] little bit. >> Yeah. Yeah. A little bit. Yeah. >> Right. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. So, Honory, I was at a hotel and. >> you met him. >> No. >> So, I was in a hotel in New York, right? I was shooting the movie The Dictator. >> Right. And they put us on I forgot what. hotel it was. And I remember being in. the elevator and on rewind. >> Did they put you on the poster or not? The dictator. >> No, >> they didn't care. >> And it had more lines than bus boys. >> But they didn't care about you.

[laughter]. >> Yeah. They didn't care about me. >> You cared about me. >> I can't believe they didn't ask you. that. >> Anyway, Henry walks in, right? >> Mhm. And you know, obviously there's. it's like, "Hey, [clears throat]. I'm a huge fan or can I get a photo or. whatever.". >> You said that to him? >> No. Nothing came out of my mouth. >> Oh, >> I was so in shock that he he was the. last person that I ever thought I would. dreamt meeting or seeing in real life, dude. That when he got off his floor,

the words couldn't come out. >> No. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's how much of a fan I. was. M. >> and then when I miss my mo moment, I. miss my moment. You know what I mean? >> So, um the other day I was at Pizzeria. Biano, right? And the dude that runs. that created it, I'm a big fan of um. he was in the restaurant. >> No way. >> Yeah. And I walked right up to him. I. go, "Can I get a photo?" And he goes, "Sure, kid." So, I I do it every time. now because I'm not fans of like, you.

know, >> he was in the restaurant. No, this guy. that created Chris Pizzeria Bianco. >> Oh, he was in the restaurant. >> It's one of the best pizzeras in the. world. >> The creator? Who's it? Bring it up. That's him right there. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Chris Biano. >> Yeah. Chris Biano. Yeah. >> Oh, I've seen him before. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's one downtown. in LA. Very good pizza. >> I don't go down there too much, but I. will. >> Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, um so now when I. see somebody Can you listen? >> Yeah. I'm back. I'm here. >> Okay. Now when I see somebody like I'm.

not like fans of like oh there's you. know what I mean Sabrina Carpenter or. David Robinson or like a. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like what. >> Mitch McConnell. >> Like Mitch McConnell turtle eyes. Yeah. >> I call him. You know what I mean? >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> You know what I mean? Like you know so. most people are like I got to get a. selfie with Mitch. You know when he's in. a he's a zone he's froze zone. Yeah. >> You know what I mean? When he freezes. up. That's my favorite part of him. >> Oh he's glitching. >> Yeah he's glitching. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know I mean but anyway that's. his [ __ ] face. Yeah. Did you know that?

Oh, >> yeah. This is [laughter] Damn. >> Anyway, like Mitch McConnell. >> Oh, that's crazy. >> Yeah, that's a scumb face, dude. >> Bro, we're going to go to hell for doing. this. That's a real face or something. >> Yeah, that's a real face. Yeah. >> See, they're using some of these senior. citizens, dude. They're just they're. using them to just. >> But imagine his Chinese wife underneath. him and that's the face he uses. >> Oh, yeah. >> Oh, dude. You know what I mean? >> You got to use that. >> Yeah. Yeah. You got to use that. Anyway, so are you fans with somebody that's.

weird that if you ran into them that. you'd be Starruck? >> I think probably Marilyn Manson. Probably. [laughter]. >> He's dead. >> Huh? >> Someone alive. >> Oh, >> yeah. Yeah. I I could go out through. history like Genghaskhan. That'd be. cool. >> Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, but Marilyn Manson. is dead. Yeah. >> Is there somebody that you would like. You're in an elevator? >> Are you thinking Marilyn Manson is still. alive? Charles Man. You met Charles. Manson. Oh, Marilyn Manson. >> Yeah, Marilyn Manson, dude. >> Oh, so I think God Oh, thank God.

>> Thank god he didn't die. >> Oh. >> Oh, [ __ ] He didn't die. >> Yeah, I know him. >> You do? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Dang, dude. >> Yeah. Yeah, I do know him. >> Yeah, I I I imag like somebody that. works with him for a little bit and then. um. >> but uh Yeah, I think probably him would. be somebody that would be really neat. The Pope maybe. >> Oh, Pope Leo or the previous one? >> The new one. The one that's beefing with. Trump online. What about the one that JD. Vance killed? [laughter]. >> You remember that guy? >> I haven't even heard about that.

>> Yeah. Remember JD Vans visited him and. the next time he died? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like. >> Yeah. So that's why. >> I mean I will say look JD has a strong. handshake. [laughter]. >> I know. But now this pope wherever JD's. at, he's not there. >> Oh yeah. Yeah. Like he was in Africa and. then JD was like in DC. And if if JD. went to Africa, the pope would go to. Antarctica. You know what I mean? That. pope ain't [ __ ] [ __ ] with no J. Pope on a rope. >> Yeah, he was a pope on a rope. Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah, that last one definitely was. >> Yeah. Yeah. Um. >> Oh, so if if you ran into the Pope or um.

what about Can I just name some names? >> Yeah. I'm trying to think cuz Oh, people. I'd be starruck by. >> Yeah. Yeah. And then you would like be. like, "Oh, [ __ ] I got to get a photo.". >> Oh, Julia Roberts. I would be starruck. >> Oh, yeah. You get a photo. >> I don't know if I'd ask for a photo, but. I would just be starruck. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I don't know if I'd ask like I think. sometimes it's better to just say, "No, I'm okay without a photo.". >> This is what So, here's the thing. Okay. When I was when I was at Coachella, >> right? >> And I saw the Sabrina Carpenter and I. saw I went for the strokes,

>> right? >> And I got front row. >> So did Mitch McConnell. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Sorry, it's a bad joke. All right, let's. go on. >> Yeah. Oh my god, [laughter]. >> dude. >> My poker face. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He does look like a. turtle, dude. >> Does he? I don't. That part. I don't. even see. I just see. >> what' you see. >> a senior man that's getting like getting. used to funnel ideas and uh danger. through. >> there should be an age you do believe. there there's got to be a limit. >> they got to put a cap. >> yeah what's the cap 60.

>> 65. >> 65 cap. >> after 65 you're out. >> you're out. >> yeah I think so too. >> and as. >> because I'm 54 I'll do crazy [ __ ]. >> would you ever run. >> I'd run fast. >> would you ever run for office. >> yeah fast would you. >> a congress person or something. >> We need somebody. >> I think so. Yeah. You know, >> my ideas are cray cray. I I mean, I. don't know. Ask me about something. I'll. tell you what I I would do. >> But here's the thing. We have uh the. first Vietnamese House of. Representatives person was from.

Louisiana. >> Really? >> Yep. >> Yeah. >> Look him up. >> Yeah. So, you can differentiate between. Vietnamese and Chinese. And. >> I wouldn't say that, but I would say that that's our boy. right there. All right. Joseph Cow. >> And he's from your your your your. homeland. >> Yeah, that's him right there. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> He's a boss, dude. >> He's a boss, dude. >> Born in Saigon. >> Yeah. >> Born in Saigon. Went to Baylor. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you need you think. we need more Asians in Congress.

>> Yeah. And more Filipinos. If it was all. Filipinos, I don't think anything bad. would ever happen to the world. Do you? >> No, dude. You're right. I think you're. right. >> That's the truth. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But there'd be a lot. of. >> You could run on the same ticket, dude, with Jake Paul. Jake Paul as my Yeah, but we're. different parties. >> Would you ever, Dude, because this is. this actually something I did here. >> Jake would Somebody said you got offered. to do W WWE. Is that true? [clears throat]. >> No. Are you serious? >> Yeah. Stop pointing at me, dog. Sorry,

I'm ser I'm [ __ ] serious, bro. >> All right. >> Are you serious? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm serious, dude. >> Yeah. I heard that. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would I some But. here's what happens, right? I don't get. 80% of it. You know what I mean? It goes. through like a funnel to me because my. people know what I will and will not do. >> for sure. >> And WWE is something I would probably. wouldn't want to do. >> Really? >> But I would lose. >> I would lose. >> What if we did a tag team match against. the Logan Paul and his brother? >> I would do that, dude. >> Yeah. Let's challenge Logan Paul, right?

And his brother Jake. >> Yeah. >> Tag team. Awesome. We have to wear. costumes now. >> And the winner has to pay the others. taxes. >> for how many years? Just one year. for. one year. >> But you think you would win? >> [ __ ] yeah. >> [ __ ] yeah. >> Yeah. >> I think they're they're not all that, >> dude. Dude, >> of course. >> I would tag you real quick. >> Yeah. >> Oh, you would? >> Yeah. I'm opening. >> And I would tag you. We just keep you. >> Yeah. We tag each other. Dude, that's. what we stay in the corner and we keep. tagging each other. >> Till they get We be You become a cyclone.

of tagging, right? And then they get all. confused, right? And then we both get. onto the ropes, right? And we do what? >> Uh we jump off. >> Yeah. Yes. And. >> and we attack them. >> And we attack them. >> Yeah, dude. We attack that way through. the air. >> Yeah. >> Like we did to Iran. >> Or we get a drone to take us up. >> Oh, right. Ukrainian or Iranian? >> Uh, whatever one still has a little bit. of gas money left. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And we take that up, dude. >> We'll take that up, right? And we'll.

just collide right into them. >> I think we could do it. I think. [laughter]. >> But would you get involved in personal. like even in in uh in local politics? Like Spencer Pratt is running for mayor. of LA now. You know that? No, I don't. know that. >> You don't know that? >> No, no, no. And you know, and that'd be. cool. I don't know if I'd You know what. I do? Do do. >> what? >> When I do, do do. >> I donate to Canada sometimes. >> to help them? >> Yeah. Do you ever do that? >> I love Canada. >> Excuse me? >> I love Canada.

>> Yeah. Oh, you you you you give Canadian. politicians money? >> No, but I don't donate to them, but I. love Canada. I think it's a great place. >> Yeah. I love Argentina. What the [ __ ]. you talking about? >> They have the best posture. You don't. even know Argentina. >> Yeah, they have the best soccer players. >> Argentina. >> Aera. Messi. Yeah, >> I saw Messi play one time. >> with Miami. >> Nashville. >> Oh, right. But was it with the Miami. team? >> Yeah, they played there. Dude, it was. great. >> I I I like I would like to watch soccer. more. I think I'm going to try to go to. a uh game when it's here.

>> Yeah. >> You like those things? >> Can I Can I tell you something about. something that made me real sad? >> Yeah. So, the last UFC fight. that you and I were at. >> Yeah. >> All right. What kind of seats did you. get? >> We got good seats. >> You did? >> Yes. >> What What would you think my seats were. like? >> I saw your seats. They were good. They. were. >> better than yours. >> No, it depends on what you're looking. for. >> I'm looking to get closer to the. >> Okay. the the cages.

>> I didn't know that. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You think I want to be. out there? >> They put you. >> Yeah. Yeah, >> there is a like zone where they where. there's a lot of like people that um. >> influencers. >> No. >> Okay. What kind of people. >> or people? Yeah. Influencers, but people. that are like uh there's a lot of people. that have like uh it's like wheelchair. access. It's like impaired. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I People. that are impaired like people that are. neck braces, back braces. >> Yeah. >> People that are on fluids and [ __ ] and. they Yeah. You were right there though. along the road.

>> where people come out. >> They have other attachments to them. >> Yeah. You're like in the neck section. and water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They have a cane. You know what I mean? >> The biff. >> They have the biff. >> Yeah. Just. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Just an aqua fire basically. >> People that were just like. >> Exactly. So, I'm in that section, right? And for a split second, I was kind of. like, why am I here? >> You know what I mean? >> Probably because it was your first. fight. >> Really? So, the next time I go to to a. fight because I love the sport. >> Can I just go with you?

>> Yeah. Will I still be in the oxygen. area? >> I can ask uh Dana if if he a if he would. allow me if he allows me to go. >> No, you're always around that. >> Yeah, >> I'm a fan of the sport. I You're always. around that. >> But it's still at his grace, you know? It's like his It's like he he picks who. can go, right? >> Wait, wait, wait, wait. The people that. you your friends aren't bigger than me. that you had around you, are they? What. do you mean like like a popularity wise?

No. Giani's with me all the time. >> Yeah. Is he more popular than me. >> to the to in the urban circles? He is. They. >> This is me at the oxygen area. >> You're having a good time. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was having a spasm, dude. >> Bro, look how close. I've never gotten. to sit where you sat here. That's. amazing, bro. To cheer people when they. come out. >> Yeah. But then you put your hand out. They don't never slap my hand, >> bro. >> Yeah. >> That guy's a beast, dude. >> Who is that guy? Nick. >> Goautier. Is he like on a six fight win. streak? >> Yeah. All first round knockouts.

>> I like Yeah. >> And dude, you got to see Rose Namjunas. when she came out. >> Okay. >> Is that how you say her last name? >> Namunas. Namunas. >> Namunas. >> Yeah. Yeah, >> dude. Thug Rose, bro. Just to see that. Yeah, >> you're right. >> I've sat in a lot of different places. I. haven't always got to sit up close, but. it has been fun when I got to. >> Yeah. >> But yeah, next time you sit up close, cuz I've never been there. Can I just go. with you? >> Yes, please. I'm going in July. If I am. able to sit up close, then I would love. for you to go. >> and just ask Dana like my friend. You. know what I mean? >> I'm going to send him up a JPEG of you.

Straight up. I'll say you used to fight. >> Just say the real thing. >> You did used to fight. >> No. No. Say I'm your friend. >> I'll say it's my friend. Yeah. >> Yeah. I'm He's a You know, >> you're right. I'm not going to lie to. him. >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, then why would you lie. just now? >> You're right. >> No. What do you mean I'm right? >> You are. >> Why do you lie? >> I'm not lying, dude. I was thinking. about lying. >> Okay. Anyway, >> and I said I'm not. >> So, what did you think of today's. podcast? >> I thought it was. >> Let's Let's do a regroup and you know.

what I mean. >> Okay. Let's go through some stuff. For. one, yeah, I do feel. >> for one, I'm happy to get to see you. >> Oh, I do want to say also Britney. Schmidt's dog passed away. So, >> Oh, no. >> I think we can just say. >> so sorry. >> Britney, we love you. And the dog's name. was Biggie. [clears throat]. >> Yeah. Yeah. and that um he's he's in a. better place. >> My dog Remy passed away a month and a. half ago. >> Oh, did you have to [laughter] I did. that. That was great. >> What?

>> Did you have to have someone come over. and help put it down? My friend just had. to have that. My friend Tim, remember. Bizzle, who you always fight with at the. casino? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Where is he? >> Huh? >> He's the one that's trying to [ __ ] with. me on [ __ ] line, dude. >> Dude, he just texted me earlier today. >> He just texted me today. This is what he. said. Can I tell you what your B is this. him? >> Yeah. >> Hold on. this piece of [ __ ]. >> dude. I'm not even joking. The text he. sent, he goes, "Tell that [ __ ]. to wash his ass." That's what he. [laughter] said. >> Okay, this is what he This is what he. said. >> What are the odds of that? >> He goes, "Bro, you trying to beef with. me saying I invite this [ __ ] Don't come.

into the studio today trying to start. beef or you're going to get got. >> type shit.". >> Where is that guy? >> Huh? >> I want to get I want to see what that. means. >> He's in, >> you know, because I'm going to tell you. this right now, dude. He's pussified. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I'll destroy him. >> Yeah. >> Okay. I'll be strong, right? But I have. ways. >> I'll go N, dude. >> I think you could do. >> I'll build a tunnel and a pathway. >> Oh, so it's okay for you to go N and. just completely. >> Yeah, we can do it. >> Be a culture vulture. >> Yeah. Yeah, we can be a culture vulture. >> I'll go N.

>> My stepfather can't walk back in. >> He's a white He's a confused white. No. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a difference. between being Asian, right, and being a. confused white guy. >> Yeah, you're right. >> You're right. I'm just trying to be. philosophical guy. >> I know there is. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]. >> It just breaks my heart. >> Yeah. What? >> It breaks my heart. >> It breaks my heart that we can't like, you know, get closer and with that. divide, dude. >> I know. We're going to do it better. >> Next time we'll do it better, dude. >> I think this is one of those Go ahead. Sorry. >> I think this is one of those times where. it's like, yeah, we kind of hit a spot.

where it's like, okay. Yeah. Sometimes I. do feel pressure like if we're if like. Yeah. It's like you get you get clips. that are viral and like you do see that. you can't even not see it. And it's like. and then like people every time you know. you'll be somewhere like there's a video. of somewhere there's a funeral and the. guy's yelling bubby at it you know like. it's like what can you do but it's like. yeah you do feel some pressure and it's. not and that those. >> that's why I've been avoiding it but. that but I'm saying right but those. moments aren't like. >> it's not fair to it's not fair. >> for me to bring in like I I I thought. about that before you came.

>> I thought about Yeah. Great listening. I. thought about that before [laughter] you. came and I said, "God, like, let's let. me just have a This is so stupid that. we're even thinking about this, but let. me just have a nice conversation with my. friend and let and let me have a new. experience." Yeah. >> I felt the same way driving here. Like, I've been avoiding doing it with you. because it's just so much pressure on. it. >> You know what I mean? >> Well, we had so much fun when I came. into Bad Friends. >> Yeah. How great was that? >> That was great. You know what I mean? But we might have not got anything. today. Well, it took me 600 episodes.

even invited over there. if you going to really want to look at. the calendar. But I know you guys are busy. >> No, no, no, no. Look at me right now, dude. That's tragic. I'll tell you this. Um, we're not a. guest driven show. We've had maybe 10. guests in our whole whatever the run. >> Oh, I didn't know that. >> Yeah. Yeah. Um, we've had Jack Black, Shia, you know what I mean? Yeah. We get. the biggest people we can get to do the.

guests. What's that tall orange man who. plays basketball? >> Women yam. No, >> no. What's that tall orange man that. plays basketball? >> Blake Griffin. >> Blake Griffin. >> The tall orange. >> You know what I mean? >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Vitamin C they call him. >> Yeah. The vitamin C. We got When we got. vitamin C, we got it. You know what I. mean? And we were lucky to have you. >> But it's like it's not a personal thing. >> No, I don't feel it. >> It's a scheduling thing. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And um so let me ask the boys in. the in the booth. What do you think of. today's episode?

>> There are great moments and I just think. you guys talk so naturally funny to each. other. You don't realize what there's. going to be some viral moment from this. that we don't know. >> That's that the good point. So you know. what? Don't live in the results. We did. it. You know what I mean? I think there. are some things in there. You know what. I mean? >> Yeah. We had a good time. >> If there isn't, [ __ ] it. I just want to. have a good time with my friend. >> Yeah. And I I had a good time at times. >> And that is true. Yeah. >> Yeah. I I think that sometimes you're. confused, but but that's what I like. about you. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I mean, you don't know what you're. talking about.

>> Well, but I'm trying to learn, man. And. sometimes. >> And you're a learner, dude. >> Sometimes you help me, sometimes you. don't. >> And I could say that's the same about. you. >> And I cannot believe that David Spade. put you on that movie poster. >> I think you did that. He said that you. did that. >> No, he did not. >> Yeah, he did. >> I would never do that. >> Yeah, he would. >> I don't even know how to do. >> You know what? I went to Photoshop. >> Not your people. These guys know how. And I went to Spade. No, just listen. Listen. I went to Spade and I go, "Dude, it's kind of [ __ ] weird. I have like. two lines in this movie and you put me.

in the center of this poster." And he. goes, "Really? [ __ ] Theo.". >> That's what he said. Dude, >> that's what he said. >> We should call him. Should we call him? >> Yeah. >> I don't think he'll answer. >> He's probably busy eating dinner or. something because he has so much money. >> Oh, sushi probably. It's always. associate with him. Have you noticed. that? >> Yeah. >> Yeah, >> it is with a lot of you guys.

>> Let's see what he says. That's a nice. picture of us. >> Let me call him. Okay. He could be taking a bath or whatever. >> Are you guys calling me together? No. What are you talking about? No. >> Oh, Theo just called me. >> Yeah. But you know what I love? You. picked up for me and not him. >> I knew it. [laughter]. Trouble. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love the fact.

that you picked up for me and you didn't. pick up for Theo. >> No. I love Theo, but I'm at dinner. >> Yeah. But why would you pick up for me? >> Because I knew you were in cahoots. I. go, we got a situation. >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, just real quick, we I. want to clear something up, right? >> Yeah. >> All right. So, when I said to you, you. know what I mean? Why am I in the center. of this poster? I only had three lines. and you said, "Oh, [ __ ] Theo.". >> So Theo did it. >> Yeah, Theo did it. >> I don't think I don't think Theo knew. about it. I think it was. >> they just Somebody made it and they were.

exploiting you guys. >> Oh, they put me on it, TOO. >> YOU'RE YOU'RE THE STAR OF the movie. >> Who cares, Bobby? >> Oh, you're right. Dave, I'm sorry. Are. you eating Asian food? >> I invite myself. >> Oh, you should go. I'm eating Asian. food. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I knew it. So, I love. you, dude. I It's No one's to blame. Thank you for putting me in the movie. I. love you. Okay. >> Yeah. And tell the winner we're sorry. for everything. >> Okay. >> I love Sh. >> It was you. >> It couldn't have been me because I don't.

even have Photoshop. >> Okay. >> It was somebody that he was eating Asian. food. >> But no, I do feel bad that I didn't ask. I should have asked specifically. >> I don't care, dude. Dude, it's. >> Well, I should have asked. I really. think about it. I think you would feel. like bro. I I'm so grateful. that you asked me to do something that. you've been working on. I mean, what a blessing that is. You. know, I just did an episode of episode. of a show of a friend. I can't say it,

but um and he asked and I did it. You. know what I mean? And you know, >> I know who it was. Pton Manning. >> Okay. And [laughter]. >> was it he has a new show. You have a new. show. Yeah. The bad show. >> And you didn't even tell me about it. >> Yeah. The bad show game show. And then. also my Hulu special comes out in. November. My first special. >> Finally. >> Finally. Yeah. And go check that out. But um. >> And what took so long to be honest when. you really think about it? Was there a. real reason that it kind of that it did.

take you a while? Did you like not like. doing specials? Did you think it was. like not what it's about? Like really. really? >> Well, it's so funny. Ask yourself why I. wouldn't do it. >> Why wouldn't he do it? Because he don't. like to try. You're going, "Oh, no.". >> Yeah, because I've been doing the same. act, you know what I mean? I I slowly. add jokes. >> It was just no hurry really. You know. what I mean? And it got to the point. where was like I was on stage and I was. like. I couldn't hear it anymore.

>> Like I don't care if it gets a laugh. Like I I I just got to evolve. And so I. penned a deal. I go I'm going to get all. this out there and it's going to force. me to write new [ __ ]. >> You pinned a deal? Are you [ __ ]. Thomas Jefferson or something? Yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah, I pinned the deal, dude. Like the Constitution. >> Thanks. My bad. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I did it and it. went pretty good. And um I'm going to. when it comes out I'm already writing. way new [ __ ] and. >> let's go. And I'm going to um the next. hour will be better. I think I'm I'm. evolving.

>> I really do. I feel you do. Yeah. And so. um that's why it took me so long. It was. never like here's the thing about me. I. don't know why, but you know, I was a. club guy. What I mean by that, I did. comedy clubs and I always sold out even. before podcast I would do well. >> So in my my mind there that was like no. hurry. I never thought about theaters or. coliseums or anything [clears throat]. like that. >> But I made a living, you know, playing I. mean the yuck yucks or whatever, right? So. >> Oh yeah, there's so many great clubs.

>> Yeah. So whatever. And now it's like. it's getting bigger the audience and I. want to grow with my brand and I want to. expand. So that's what I'm doing. Yeah, that's cool, man. >> Yeah, man. >> Yeah, dude. It's kind of crazy. Like. evolving is kind of scary. It's all kind. of spooky sometimes. Like like like. growing up, you know? Does that make. sense? Kind of. >> You got to live on the edge of your. comfort zone. >> [ __ ] yeah. >> That's how you grow. That's how great. men make it. Take risks and.

go through the fire. And I've always. been afraid of that. And I think like we. talked about earlier, silence. You know. what I mean? That's all. Okay. >> That was almost great. [laughter]. >> But you know what is great, dude? Yeah. >> Is seeing really good to be here. >> Anytime I get to spend time with you, I. feel lucky. And your new show starts. when when does it start? So people can. watch it. >> The Bad Game Show will start in probably.

September, October. It's super funny. YouTube, >> let's go. >> Yeah. And there's the uh deadline. >> All things comedy on the Bad Game Show. Dude, you guys look great. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Holy frick. >> And we have guests on and they two. guests compete against each other in. games we developed. >> Dude, put me on the poster. >> You said no to the game show. >> Did I? Really? >> Yeah, you did. >> But you know what? >> What? >> Put me on the poster anyway. >> Yeah, I did. >> And I'll share that [ __ ]. >> All right, dude. >> Um, >> all right. Thanks for having me. >> I love you and thank you for being. somebody that uh.

>> he just text me again. Spade. >> He facetimed me. >> Let's see what he says because he he. might be on some [ __ ]. Dude, he was in [ __ ] Dicky Roberts. >> I know, dude. >> Dude, you seen this laser? Put a little. [ __ ] on your shirt. >> Okay. >> Oh, that's the tit. >> Like, I'm just going to hang up. >> No, wait one more time. He's getting. older. >> Yeah. So, you did you FaceTime me?

>> I tried to. >> Yeah. Here's The. >> What's up, dude? I was trying to save Theo and like get. him out of that interview. [laughter]. >> There was no controversy. >> He texted me the [ __ ] uh password and. I was like, "Oh, that means save him.". >> Yeah, dude. I did. [laughter]. >> Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So, thank you so much for. that information. I'll see you soon. I.

love you. I'm gonna hang up the phone. Okay. All right. I love you, bud. >> No, no, no. I love you. I love you, bud. All right. So, you did. >> Did I? >> To be continued. >> To be continued. Now, I'm just floating. on the breeze [music] and I feel I'm. falling like these leaves. I must be. corner stone. Oh, but when I reach [music] that. ground, I'll share this piece of mind I.

found. I can feel it in my. [music and singing] bones. But it's going to.