Bobby Lee | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #530

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he's an actor uh he's my friend and you. know him from Tiger belly and bad. friends and from all of his um. entertainment contributions over the. past 20 years very fortunate to hang out. today with Mr Bobby. [Music]. Lee I'll sit and tell you my stories. [Music].

shine on. me and I will find a. [Applause]. s take my my Crocs. off you look like M enough that's don't. start don't start with that you're going. to open like that. okay well you look like you're what what.

you said to what you said what you said. to those girls I was with last night. what that that's what you're going to do. like what you did to those girls last. night I was with the girls were they. were seem like nice girls yeah yeah no I. was going to say you look like my. science teacher Mrs. Hayes dude she was a dude I'm tired of. you right now dude no I'm serious your. attitude right now what we we just got. she's a creole woman she's a creole. woman oh okay so there's some brown in. her yeah yeah like there's a lot of yeah.

mixing that listen if I'm with a girl. yeah at The Comedy Store and you walk up. and and you say something like hey you. like hang out with a boiled. egg and then you walk away giggling it. don't make me look good it don't make me. look fine and it hurt my feelings you. know I mean it's like that's not a layup. you know what I mean that's like you go. up there and you go right and then you. just walk away nothing I get nothing. from you right right yeah but you know.

what dude she laughed and that's good. well I didn't mean it I I wasn't trying. to like throw you under the Rick Shaw or. whatever I was just TR I was like I. thought a boiled egg was like important. in y'all's Community or whatever yeah I. mean a boiled egg is important in many. communities the Irish do it oh yeah. right probably Africa they do probably. have. ostriches yeah a potato is just a. [ __ ] gay boiled egg dude you know. what I'm saying that's all potato yeah. yeah that's true like come on um another.

thing is um she was. cute thank you are you is it a girl. you're dating no it's just somebody I. was trying to hit on yeah and I lost the. momentum and she'll probably never see. me again because of the boiled egg. comment not true yeah yeah 100% true and. you seem to do that a lot do I really no. my bad man that was the one time you. know but here's another thing um I have. some problems I have with you so I just. not I write it down but I'm going to. show you um this you got a jpeg have it.

no no it's just a text that you gave me. um also U secondly do you think that I. should do you think I kinetically know. where the [ __ ] this place is yeah I was. supposed to tell you yeah I mean right I. in the car driving like I don't know. where this place is I know all right and. then number three this okay so a couple. maybe two weeks ago or last week ago bro. I need podcast guest next week can you. help me which I'm your friend dude right. thank you but then you also say also I.

don't know if you've heard but I'm by. yeah and then I didn't know how to take. that so I just said I'm. down right I said I'm down right and we. kind of moved on from it right that. doesn't concern you because apparently. you were joking here well when you said. I'm down I'm like is he showing up to. podcast oh oh I see is he showing up. to [ __ ] yeah I should have said I I I I. will do your podcast but even if you. thought that you would go no dude I was.

just kidding yeah but you never did that. I didn't get you threw it out there as a. truth right and then I don't know what. to thing you if you're by dude I'm good. with it if I was by I would know I think. you know I would you know what I'm. saying you would have an inkling or. something like your ears would ring when. you got around a gay dude or something. you know like I think um but yeah I. didn't know if you were coming to pod or. coming to let me poke that Yol homie you. know what I'm yeah I think that we've. known each other for so long I don't.

think that we would ever poke even if we. they had even if there was sexual. attraction oh yeah we would no no. there's no way bro no no bro what yeah. no you are definitely you are yeah so if. if we both had sexual attraction with. each other or to men yeah to to men I. don't think that you would find me. attractive yeah I would brother really. 100% man okay dude and I mean that dude. and I want to say to you I promise I. would take you out I want to say to you. ditto but thank God we.

don't yeah thank God n it's like but if. something happened right say something. happened all the women there was like a. big sinkhole and all the women were. there and all the women disappeared. right or there was a big sail and then. the under the sale there was a sinkhole. so all on a ship huh no like a big like. clothing sale or jewelry I thought you. like Noah's Arc oh know I mean they're. all just on a a gigantic ship with a. sale two of every yeah yeah you get pair.

of redheads right a pair of Ching. chongs what we don't use that type of. language on the ship okay well Chinese. then okay yeah that's fair yeah are. chops we call them I. yeah yeah yeah and also another also. another thing I want to say U because I. have a lot of gripes but we would have a. date though dude Bobby if. we look at that yeah but those are just. friends hanging out is that I mean one. of us is hanging out stino just keeps. [ __ ] FaceTiming I just got to pick it. up what's up.

man yeah you pitching you pitching the. Cubs you throwing the pit you did you. throw. it I throw it the first pit oh [ __ ] yeah. man congratulations let's go dude. congratulations all right I'll see you. later dude okay. congratulations why would you text me. for that or call me for that but at. least he cares it's so dumb dude you. think he grew up as a Cub's fan though I. know it's just like you [ __ ] FaceTime.

me oh I you I threw a ball at you know. what I mean yeah Andre AI yeah yeah I. threw a plum to a yeah anyway let's go. back to [ __ ] let's go back to [ __ ]. here it is wow wow they have it on the. thing oh he doesn't even get a really. human being he gets a bear that's so sad. he he hugs the bear oh oh for comedy he. does it for comedy oh it's so cool I'm. so proud of him have you ever thrown one. out I don't think I've ever thrown a. baseball in my life really yeah I've.

seen them in museums what about a. throwing like a hot bow or something bow. bun I've done that yeah many times yeah. Grandma check. catch you know I mean whatever whatever. the language is but my last gripe is. this and then we can talk normally all. right yeah I'm sorry about that man. about what whatever the uh first gripe. was okay you don't remember honestly you. don't remember I had a couple gripes but. you didn't want to with me okay that's.

good so here's another thing I don't. know what happened to. you and congratulations by the. way for what for being. white I don't know messed up I don't. know Miss congratul congratulations for. being so white no but your success and. stuff um but something happened where. you know a lot of times you and I share. the same people fans right but you've. tapped into a fan base that doesn't like.

me that much no way and I'll tell you. who they are supermodel gypsies really. they have Hannah tattoos on their necks. right they look at me like they they at. the store last night they were like can. me like you mean they want to say ching. chong oh yeah yeah and guess what dude. you know what I want to tell them if. Theo is the Beatles I'm definitely Yoko. Ono right I'm a part of the you know. what I mean like I'm a part of the the.

ecosystem of The Beatles or whatever. right but they they looked at Yoko and. went e like would do you are you a part. of it you're just a fan right unlike we. call we're friends you know what I mean. you're at least Chingo star Chingo star. dude right on yeah so it's I'm sorry man. really I feel like everywhere I go. everybody wants to ask me about you it. could be anybody construction workers. people inside of a building it could be. somebody that's a bus businessman a.

woman at a counter everywhere I go. hospitals people are like oh tell me. well wait wait. stop what I don't get so what people say. no no no no no stop stop at hospitals. yeah you're saying so the construction. workers the nurses the hospitals are. they all Asian because I just you just. made a voice no they're fans of yours I. know I understand that but are they all. Asian fans or just are there whites too. because when you did the accent I it. wasn't clear oh I just yeah I think. they're Asian tell me how you tell me.

tell me this is what you did tell me. about what you know about the bbby is. that what you want to say did you not go. into an accent though did. I maybe you didn't do it again a lot of. them do it again okay a lot of them. would be like I'm Theo okay I'm walking. hey man hey man hey are you Theo hey uh. oh you so no accent tell me about Bubby. Lee the Mexicans yeah [ __ ] yeah tell me. about.

bbby tell me about Roberto Le so how did. you tap into this new fan base I don't. know who they are you talking women with. Hannah. tattoos I didn't see them first of all. they sound like witches okay so I don't. even believe in them they sound white as. [ __ ] dude also you're probably gonna be. fine they sound white bro I don't know. man do you want to I'm your fans your. fans are all over Bobby they're all over. what. everything every time I meet somebody.

they're like tell me about him where can. we get him oh like I'm a like a por no. like you're one of those por is uhuh. okay you're like one of those little. head dolls that comes in that box what. those things called bobbleheads no it's. pork Funko Pop yeah Funko Pop oh Funko. Pop yeah yeah yeah yeah Funko Pop I like. a Funko Pop yeah yeah so they they ask. as if I'm something that you could buy. yeah or they just well you can M if you. MK produce me you think you can make.

money oh my God you had a cloning. technology bro if we had here put one of. your hands up right now like that little. cat that's for magic at the uh no korean. salon or whatever you talking about I. know what the cat is I know they go the. good luck one like yeah yeah. yeah yeah um oh yeah that yeah that's. kind of it that's cool all right well I. mean thanks but no man I'm yeah if. somebody was rude to you man I'm sorry. dud rude it's just like they they don't. know who I am that's not true Bobby no. those Hannah tattooed you know Gypsy. witches that you hang that they like you. now they're all beautiful by the way I.

didn't I don't know them oh you do. what's that you're talking about cat Von. D dude no I love. her bro she's the best yeah I've worked. with her before she's the best you have. a long long time ago yeah she's very. she's very very very white it's like. she's like a um creature that's like H. like a she's almost like something that. happens at midnight for 40 minutes you. know like she's very like ever vescent. you know what I'm talking about what do. you mean it midnight for 40 minutes what.

happens like it's like. a dried yeah the vagina opens oh no like. no no no no she's married like a mirage. or whatever yeah but that's also a. vagina opening oh yeah well. apparently yeah if you have to do this. with a girl do you think the vagina's. too big or you've been in some coochie. tunnels I'll say that you've been. underground in what kind do you like do. you like the ones that stick out or you. like tucked um I kind of like the ones. like that look like have a little bit of. lip liner on.

him yeah yeah yeah I like the. combination of both oh when one lip is. sticking out and one's tucked in right. like one of them it's like the um that. Bon me I don't like if there's too much. Bon you know what do you mean Bon if. it's a bon me kind of vibe oh yeah yeah. yeah there's too much Bond yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah and do you um I mean I. don't know when's the last time you. hooked up with a girl oh this too too. personal you don't want to talk about it. not talk about it let me think um it's. probably been what women don't know is I.

think that you are very. picky. um I have to get this off my chest man I. told you about this last. night what' you tell me but I've been. dating this person mhm and every time we. and rarely do we do this make beautiful. love oh God yeah yeah the sacred rituals. of love she goes yeah when I was you. know eight years ago yeah I hooked up. with Theo nuh yeah but she says it every.

time we're naked MH and it hurts me. that's all and I I want to share that. with you um [ __ ] dude that's that's. crazy I think I don't believe her and oh. oh so you don't believe that you did. hook up with her no I don't believe her. at all you know what I don't believe her. either because I know that you are very. picky yeah and you take your time yeah. yeah LMO they call me yeah and you do. long strokes M yeah. I do strokes I I say it's long even.

though it isn't I'll be like oh that's. long yeah yeah you know what you know. what I mean by long strokes uhuh long I. mean I'm thinking you're assuming. sexual well you know it's some you know. here's what I don't like people that are. like you know I'm talking about somebody. with aorta issues or whatever huh yeah. sometimes yeah yeah yeah like somebody. just like stroking for distance he. Strokes for a quarter mile yeah yeah. yeah it's sort of like you know when in. the Olympics. Li they do the breast stroke but if you.

slow it down and they oh yeah you know. what I mean you do those you don't do. those yeah yeah yeah yeah I do some of. that yeah I do long right mhm and I take. a nap oh and then I do short oh yeah and. then I rest you take breaks you're. almost like a um STS of music kind of. with like a like a half um half note. quarter note oh you know what you're. doing here whole rest you know when you. do this that's Asian vagina it is yeah.

it's lenty is it really that's a lie huh. no it's a lie it's all folklore is it. it's regular like everyone else for. years I you know I remember I almost. made love to a Korean woman one time. years ago and this was an Ido and her. leg her legs kind of didn't separate it. was almost like you ever get really. strong Chopsticks or whatever and you. can't open them or. whatever wait it was just like that bro. I swear to God no offense to that lady. maybe was a mermaid. huh right was it a mermaid I don't know.

yeah are there are there Korean Asian. mermaids there have to be huh bring that. up bring up an Asian mermaid or. something um beached Asians or. whatever because if there were they. probably eat their own because they love. sushi oh oh here we go wow yeah there. are and I'm the by. one dude this dude will swim through. West Hollywood brother I was in Hawaii. that day uhhuh and and I saw that at a. store and I bought it immediately and I. ran to the beach I go take this photo.

dude would you dude I'm telling you. right. now oh Little Mermaid oh Little Mermaid. would be better oh with me in it no yeah. it wouldn't be Little Mermaid it' be fat. mermaid but you they have like up where. they walk up where they R up where they. play day in. [Music]. Zoom the music would change wondering. three yeah yeah we I could be yeah part.

of that. world yeah um Bobby Lee man good to see. you good to see you man oh those are my. gripes we're good um appreciate it you. know um you know you've been going on. the road my friend my boy Amir K yeah. he's wonderful he's a wonderful man dude. very funny like we're going fishing next. week up in uh Oregon actually yeah he. loves fishing he's good at it yeah and. you're you're doing shows up there yeah. he's a good dude and you don't tour as. much people want to see you more places. but you don't like leaving as much is. that true just yeah that's okay I don't.

go out at all in fact like I um I'm. going up to Vancouver of the 12 and I'm. doing with seura and seura is like well. can you do the day before and then the. day after too because I'm playing Eugene. in some place in Colorado and uh I just. do Vancouver you know what I mean I just. uh you don't like being away from. home well I mean just truth of the. matter is is that.

um I like doing standup and spurts yeah. and I'm not addicted to like a lot I see. like Santino and all these guys they're. all addicted to the you know they're. dopium hits not dopium OP wait dopamine. dopamine dopamine hits dopamine hits. right doing shows and it's like I I've. just never been addicted to that that. dopamine hit yeah you know I um I I love. being at home yeah yeah and I um I don't.

know how you do it because every time. I'm online I see you you're in Australia. or wherever whatever and you're killing. it and it's like I'm happy for you but I. just never had that addiction to it you. know I think because of the fact that. like early on um I had just so much. Trauma from it from being on stage yeah. like one time I was at um it's a casino. gig in New Jersey I forgot what it was. called and it's a it's a Cino gig that. everyone played Montenegro mon I don't.

know I don't know what it was but it was. like um and I remember they had this red. um curtain behind the stage and I. remember one show I bombed so hard cuz. this is before I think now you know. because I have fans that get me you know. what I mean and um but before when I was. just on Mad TV and stuff like my fans. they I mean they were they knew me from. sketch and so they wanted to see me do. you know I mean um my catchphrases yeah.

like you know sometimes I do or oh oh. hot dog or whatever right like home. alone or. whatever yeah yeah I'm talking about why. don't they have an Asian Home Alone why. don't youall make a home alone right. well the home is made out of rice paper. aren't they yeah sure yeah yeah and it's. like yeah and they could get in quickly. the burglars right they could just run. through like the Hulk right so maybe. that's why I think it'd be a 10-minute. movie then yeah yeah yeah me get me yeah.

yeah yeah I'm home alone I'm dying or. whatever that's very good clever dude. you got well I think different cultures. should all have their own films okay. let's talk about it so I think that they. should be uh there should be a. Castaway right but all an Asian guy. right and C but instead of him talking. to the volleyball what they call him. Wilson Wilson right instead of that he. makes a volleyball Factory. M right he's a sweat shop he makes.

monkeys and stuff work you know what I. mean yeah right so you do little twist. like that yeah yeah it's more about the. industry or something it's more about. work ethic yeah yeah you know what I. mean and resilience in that way you know. I mean he could have a couple of stores. going and factories going on you know I. mean he could be making [ __ ]. volleyballs right yeah they should. remake. um I know wizard Ras oh all Asian what. do you think weard of AIA. excuse me AA or aans some people say.

people aren't saying Asians as much. anymore a lot of people say oh that's. who are saying it like that aans who's. saying asan I was at a hotel actually I. was in Australia and the lady said we. have a lot of aans here and I was like. who aans yeah we have a lot of aans here. and I was like who are they you know I. couldn't I was looking online and I. couldn't were you in Australia I mean. where where were you yeah I was in. Australia and they said yeah well they. say a lot of things weird there yeah but. they they say we have a lot of oans here. but let's talk about the Asian Wiz Let's. see we do with that all right so the Tin.

Man you have the Tin Man Yeah you could. put a little thing on this say made in. China oh yeah that's why he's broken. yeah right you am I right right and then. um no no no Toto If I Only Had some. bolts yeah yeah no Toto why oh tell me. why they would there' be no Toto. [Music]. um because somebody's in The Clean Plate. Club yeah dog yeah yeah so Toto would be. eating yeah. yeah turtle's gone okay yeah to yeah.

we'd have to to yeah yeah right that's. the main lady oh yeah D yeah yeah and. she doesn't want to go Kansas she wants. to go to um Tokyo yeah you I mean yeah. yeah what's the thing they say when they. click the thing. somewhere no that's the oh. somewhere the rainbow is that from the. wiard Oz yeah it is somewhere a rainbow. roll oh yeah bring up a rainbow roll. yeah rainbow roll yeah yeah.

[Music]. somewhere the rainbow. roll wow that's it those beautiful I. remember seeing one of those for the. first time we would have the kly panda. yeah the Carly Panda huh yeah yeah and. the wicked W Witch of the yeah who would. she be though we need to cast her who I. know who it should be Ali Wong no Sheed. she could play it good well she's a good. actress yeah she's a good so if she. needed to be Wicked she could she Wicked. though she needed I think she she I. think she could be she would be good oh.

Al hot Whitney seen that oh that's damn. Whitney yeah that's Whitney oh Whitney. would be the Whitney Witch of the West. or whatever yeah yeah yeah but we have. to have a Witch of the East oo Al for. sure Aly for the East yeah and then who. else is in the um Wizard of Oz they had. cly lion they had the panda there you. know I mean what about the Scarecrow do. we change that up the Scarecrow is um he. was full of hay or whatever hay yeah.

rice maybe yeah maybe dried rice dried. rice yeah he right right yeah long grain. yeah yeah yeah we do long grain RS with. if you had an Asian poror name it would. be long grain yeah that would be good. huh be good yeah I'm long grain dog this. episode is sponsored by prize picks. indeed do you love firing on Sports well. prize picks is the best daily fantasy. sports app for you you sign up today and.

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think I've ever met in in. comedy really yeah thanks man I mean. it's I think I I can I give you the my. list yeah okay and and you'll probably. know but and let's we'll talk about men. okay okay um I'll talk about women too. but um I think aside from. you let's let's grade him from 1 to 10. niess guessing an in well let's do it it. is okay cuz I'm only going to give you.

names that are like nice okay Greg Fitz. Simmons oh oh my God nine out of 10 for. sure and he has a new book that just. came out what's it called it's a special. and he has a new video book that just. came out special yeah and on YouTube he. was just on your podcast about it wasn't. he no Greg Fitz Simmons you me so check. that out I love I love him all right so. let's go U fim manoir oh n nine nine. yeah I don't think anybody wants to be a.

10 right they have a little bit of thing. that makes them not be a 10 yeah they're. sick perverts dude yeah yeah so that. keeps everybody a little lower nck. Glazer eight or nine for men. sex if she's supposed to be male then. she's doing a bad job yeah yeah bad job. female nine yeah for a female I think. she's a nine yeah she's n i don't let's. try to find a 10 there's no 10 h the. nicest the nicest guy in.

comedy I don't think I can find a 10. then cuz if if [ __ ] Greg Fitz Simmons. is a nine maybe jelly roll Sebastian. Sebastian's a nice guy nice guy for a. busy guy he always tries to communicate. and stay um and stay tapped in but he's. also but he's only um oh my God I want. to get in trouble but um oh God I try to. edit my you know I got to edit my [ __ ]. now man so I got to think clearly dude. but um I want to say. I I believe if you're in.

his visual range yeah right somebody. that he has a relationship with right um. that he's a 10 I think he's a 10 but I I. don't think that if you're not in his. visual range or in his ecosystem it's. hard to get in yeah cuz he's he's so. elusive yeah he he'll park his car he'll. do a set and there's no way of like you. know what I mean going yo yo yo let's. you I'm a comic too or whatever and. developing a relationship I think he.

know the people he knows is who he knows. and there's and that [ __ ] roster. filled yeah that's what I think I think. at a certain point you've done all of. that and it's like you only have so much. bandwidth you have children you have a. wife and parents and I think it's just. uh yeah that's you know I don't know if. doing a lot of that. [ __ ] yeah glad-handed and [ __ ] it's. not his [ __ ] really but you're good at. it. well I feel desperate probably for to be.

a people pleaser no because the truth is. last night um when I was with those two. girls thats were. with um no the other one was a stray. well whatever dude she knew that I was. going to probably go say hi to you and. she went to your show well it's funny. that a stray went missing around an. Asian I like. it yeah yeah but um and I knew that I'm. like got come Theo I don't have that. thing like oh this could backfire yeah.

you know sometimes people are like that. where like a girl would go hey can I oh. okay so my friend Allan Meadows I grew. up I went to high school with him he was. at the store maybe a month ago and he's. he's never been to the store and he's. never he's like so like he's one of. those high school friends yeah that are. is just so stoked for you yeah you know. what I mean and I and I and I I love. this guy and we're at the store and and. he sees Mark Maron and he goes can you.

introduce me and for a split second I. was like I don't know you know I did it. yeah and Mark was also eating pizza. which I've never seen him do I never. seen him eat anything I know you know. what I'm saying yeah me yeah me either. so it's yeah it's scary to introduce he. was he was nice though he was yeah yeah. but it's you don't know you know what I. mean well Mark doesn't pretend a lot I. don't think you know so I feel like you. you know you're going to get the real. Mark it's like Bill bur you you're going. to get who they are at that moment okay.

do you get scared to run him when you. walk up to him bill yeah I bill bur I. get I get like and I feel bad it's just. me he came on the show last night dude. he jumped on the show yeah I know it was. [ __ ] awesome dude I stood on the side. and I was like I need to go home and. work right now I did not want to tell a. joke he's just he's he is I mean he is. the best maybe I think he's the best but. all there's just something about like me. and were doing bad friends he was. upstairs I guess is an editing place and.

he was editing a special we didn't know. that so we're just doing bad friends he. just walks in MH we had no idea and it. was almost as if I was Tongue Tied you. know I mean I mean I he's done tiger. belly a bunch of times I've been to his. house I'm friends with him I love the. guy right but every once in a while I. get tongue tight like I don't know what. to say and I'm always like like he's one. of those guys where it's like you let. him talk yes and then you go yeah man. that's cool dude that's how it was last.

night I was all embarrassed I was like. it was almost like a hot chick was there. kind of I know yeah he's a hot chick and. you're like at the certain points I. couldn't even look at him I just look at. my other friend and we were both like. supposed to be listening to him or both. looking at each other yeah he just and. he's also a super nice guy too which is. also rattled I kind of wish he was a. dick well I think his material is so. like him that yeah there's like. something that's intimidating about him. but I don't think he I don't think he. means it to be that way no I think his.

material is just so it's in our head. it's in our heads oh totally it's so. funny you said that yeah it's in our. heads cuz he left and we're all like. dude were when I went back there the. residual of him being there was still. around yeah people were like oh bill was. just here yeah it was like and I go I. don't give a [ __ ] it was like the wizard. of ozs when that storm hit people were. like putting their Windows back together. and [ __ ] you know yeah maybe he could be. the wizard in our Asian wizard wizard of. oh. anyway um I'm going to tell you. something that happened to me other day.

and what would you do in this situation. but do you think it's because we're. intimidated of his talent sorry I want. to go back to what you're. saying and I'll go back to what you're. saying I just want to know no no it's. good we can just cut that's fine okay. they're just I'm going to tell you like. we did with the nicest I'm going to tell. you who just in my opinion when they're. around it has the same Vibe okay so. Chappelle obviously Chris Rock like. Chris will go so what's up man you know. what I mean and I'm always like H you.

know I like you you know I get really. Tongue Tied with that dude yeah you know. that dude oh yeah one Christmas. dude I don't know if I told have I told. you about this that's his movie one. Christmas yeah it's such a great movie. is it really oh man one Christmas dude I. was on a date I watched a movie with. this girl you know have you been to this. uh Third Street prominade yes right so. so then you know I went to this date and. I held I tried to hold her hand in the.

in the in the thing and she kind of. scooted it away I couldn't get no vibes. from her and afterwards the Brookstone. well not Brookstone what's the uh. Bookstore Barnes & Noble Barnes & Noble. dude all right there's a better way to. say that for Borders books which Camala. Harris hasn't visited the whole time. she's been in office yeah Barnes & Noble. dude right so you know how they have the. magazine section yeah so me and her. wandered in the it was just during. Christmas we wandered in the magazine St. two Asians a couple periodicals yeah no.

she was white oh she's white couple of. one Asian yeah a couple of she and a. honky honk meeting over some freaking uh. Southern Living I like it dude yeah yeah. and Chris was there what yeah and I. swear to god dude I had you know my. relationship with that with that dude is. just pound say a couple of words and. you're out yeah right and he comes out. and he looks at the girl I swear to God. he goes. this guy right here one of the funniest. in the business wow he goes Merry.

Christmas he walks away I hooked up with. that girl last night that night [ __ ]. yeah that was a layup but he's one of. them um you know who's another one for. some reason Sarah Silverman very sweet. she's so sweet but I there is a little. bit like I I want to watch what I'm. going to say I want to you know I mean. I'm a little self-aware of how I'm. behaving yeah you know but then there. are people that I don't give a [ __ ]. like like Santino I don't give a [ __ ].

he's my friend I mean that's what it is. real friend bad friend yeah DG that's. what he is yeah um and he's a BLM guy he. said Bobby Lee matters he said yeah are. you intimidated by Joe Rogan what uh I. think maybe less and less over time he. has such a good memory it's almost like. some like dude he is a computer chip he. is yeah people don't realize it dude he. knows everything he just has a really. good memory yeah um what was I going to.

ask you about oh dude where were um you. look so no you just been looking more. like kind of put together I feel like. you know I feel like you're like in your. fisherman era kind of you. know you know what I'm talking about no. I don't like boat Bobby kind of like. live bait Bobby you know well you know. I've gone through some things yeah and. I've evolved well that's okay yeah yeah. that little yellow bad boy that piss. scallop you know what I'm saying that. [ __ ] hero. piss. scallop oh this must be did you hear.

that there's a there a when you call me. piss scallop I didn't say that D yeah. yeah that's something that they said on. that's something somebody is this broken. I I can't even hear correctly yeah maybe. my ears yeah yeah my my ears dude you. didn't say that dude um let's change. something dude where were you when uh. Trump got. shot let's talk about something else. what do you mean where were you when. Trump got shot man. where was. I the president got shot I know I know.

uh I don't really remember where I was I. was at home I was at home and and you. know you know when I wake up in the. mornings I have a coffee and I bust out. my iPad and I just start like I just go. to news I just want to see what's going. on yeah and that was yeah and then I. remember just watching it going um what. a sad day for our country man yeah you. know how what was he like Donald Trump. were you nervous he was I mean he's kind. of were you.

nervous yeah like more nervous than. you've ever been in your life yeah yeah. I would be too and then when he I got to. know when he walks in right I mean are. you do you have things planned yeah I. had some ideas but I think I was super. nervous I had a long week and it was. like you ever have like a date you're. excited for but you've had a craziest. longest week and it finally Friday Night. Comes or something you're like yeah. that's what it was that's what it was. and so it was like.

um you know and so I just and I knew I. had a limited amount of time what was. the time probably 52 minutes we had 52. minutes yeah that's a long time though. yeah but I I know it can go fast and he. can get on some he gets on some tangent. goes out so I didn't I was like you have. to kind of ctail them a little bit you. know um and so I tried to do that with. the clips I've seen though I think that. you were pretty you were good thanks man. yeah yeah I you know yeah you were good. I tried best you know I thought it was. interesting I thought he was nice um I.

got to meet ianka and her husband that. was cool oh that's cool yeah there's a. lot of Asians for Trump out there do you. know. that or how do Asians feel about Trump. well let's say it man can I say. something to you yeah I'm not the. president of. Asians I I seem to think that you seem. to think that I'm their leader like. every month there's a Gathering right. and I get all this information from.

people yeah right and then I go out to. the world I'm their spokesperson or. something I don't know what the [ __ ]. you're talking about you're like Kim. Jong-un no I'm not Kim Jong-un you're. like a smaller you're like scam. Jong-un yeah yeah yeah you know I think. that Kim Jong-un and I come from the. same um body type I would say that right. like if they made a factory of like. Asians I'm the same mold as Kim Jong-un. and Benedict Wong yeah you know Benedict. Wong um I don't think so you ever see. doctor strange nuh you have the very.

Emperor's body that's Benedict Wong oh. you guys yeah that's the area you're in. right now Bobby yeah so that's like the. same mold I he's a great guy by the way. bened wow yeah but it's like you know. and um he just went more action with his. body good for him yeah yeah yeah you. have very like uh the emperor that. inherits the castle type of you know. think thank you dude that's the best. yeah but I want to say that I don't know. if there you know I know Steven Chong. you know him M yeah he's I think look up. Stephen Chun I think he's an attorney MH.

for Trump is it step Chong Republican. yeah he's with the Trump campaign nice. you know so if you want to ask about. Asians and Trump ask stepen yeah that'. be cool to meet stepen CH or to get him. to did you see that um that Asian guy. look to that Asian guy at the Trump. rally you see him no tell me bring it up. oh yeah this is oh this guy okay what. what happens to this guy it's like gays. and Asians meeting or whatever or this. Asian Guy meets this woman let's see. what.

happens I like your smile I'm serious. right now guess how old I am 22 16. you're 16 but if you want to kiss me I. will kiss you don't act scared come on. this is my first kiss come on bend over. I can't reach. [Music]. you I came to this Dr to find love I I. want to find me a good American woman. I'm not a woman oh I'm not a woman wait. what he keeps thinking I'm a woman I'm a.

man yeah. yeah kiss. that for Trump bro he kissed the dude. for Trump bro Gaz that's that's a gun. right there for sure dude wow bro that. was [ __ ] weird it's almost as if it's. like C AI or something wow G. AI Brian yeah wow yeah his name is Brian. Brian yeah I don't know what went wrong.

with him but you know yeah play that. last part again yeah tell. you to find love I I want to find me a. good American woman I'm not a woman oh. I'm not a woman wait what he keeps. thinking I'm a woman I'm a man yeah. yeah bro that's Elton y yeah yeah dude. wow wow is there more are there more. Asians Trump cuz who do Asians support. Trump or not okay I I think some do yeah.

I'm sure some do when it comes to the. economy probably you know what I mean um. cuz what what is this one this is a. trump country we live in the Southeast. we drink sweet tea we don't drink. socialist Kool-Aid wow wow so there are. there they're there out there yeah what. like this is a sweet three country we. don't St the what does he say uh.

social wow dude I wrote that speech for. him did you know that at the meeting I. did yeah speecher yeah his speech writer. dude he said it perfectly the way I. wrote it he did yeah yeah the Kool-Aid. socialist all that [ __ ] was in there. dude what a great what what percent of. Asians are supporting Trump though do. you think yeah are you trying let me ask. you something with this line of. questioning are you trying to get what I. what my political affiliation is no.

right I ain't going to tell you dog okay. yeah and I have to say this I'm in the. middle yeah what do you I am it's a good. question. man because obviously there are things. that I like you know I I like both. sides like a woman's right to tr I don't. give a [ __ ] I want them to have the. right to I it's not me it has nothing to. do with me right I just think um I mean. I'm in I'm kind of I'm in the middle of. one side kind of you know what I'm.

saying a little bit more what do you. mean huh so you're in the middle of one. side yeah okay I think I've always been. I mean I love the fact that Trump. brought over RFK Jr I'm still pissed. that the Democrats railroaded Bernie. Sanders uh four and eight me too that. [ __ ] it's like do is democracy even real. in this country anymore I don't know. okay that's what I don't even know. anymore I don't even know if all of us. are just being uh played that's what it. starts to feel like yeah I generally.

don't like talking about politics but. I'll say. this I I'll say that one. side you know um is more supportive of. what I do for a. living what do you. do. okay okay you mean comedy comedy comedy. okay you mean so freedom of speech or. whatever yeah okay I think one side is a.

little more sensitive than the other. side and so you know I struggle with. that fact yeah you know look man I've. voted for Obama and I voted for Trump so. I'm not a I am open to anything yeah. I've never really voted really no I. voted for Obama one season you did one. season I did um what. uh you see here's you did I want to go. back to the my remember the original. question I had yeah like from 15 minutes.

ago and then you were like oh I want to. go back to that and we never did oh. about what I forgot being bisexual or. whatever no no after that um I I didn't. even explain it to you something. happened to me the other day I I was I. was going to I was going to ask you like. what would you do in that situation yeah. what was. it so I was at a gas station right and. I'm pumping gas and there's ay guy like. right in back of me pumping gas you know. mhm and he he looks at he goes he goes.

yo dude can I get a photo right and I. dude that day dude I had went through it. I was beaten down I was tired I was in a. really bad mood and I go yeah okay and. he goes ah never mind then because I. wasn't enthusiastic about the photo. right you know what does one do in that. situation I think you just got to. respect it because I think it played out. like it was supposed to you know but.

then I go I'll take a photo he's like no. man now he yeah now you're the bad guy. now I'm the bad guy he's I don't want a. photo with you because you know I mean. what he's basically trying to say is cuz. I wasn't like yeah let's take a photo. you and me forever you right he wanted. that reaction yeah when I gave him an. organic like yeah dude you know I didn't. say this but it's like I'm [ __ ] tired. but I'll do it I I've never said no to. anybody well that's part of the problem.

yeah yeah and it's sometimes you have to. like cuz yeah I would be like that. forever and now I started to set my own. boundaries like hey man I'm having a bad. day I don't feel like it I'm at the gym. I'm just trying to work out or little. things like that because you also don't. want to interrupt your train of thought. sometimes your imagination or whatever. cuz every time you like you know so. sometimes that can be a bit overbearing. you killed it in sweet. dreams oh in the. movie thanks killed it in that. thanks dude yeah you're I would like to.

make something I just want to make. something of my own you will that's the. only thing I don't want to be a part of. something uh anybody else is I. understand that but the but the test is. and you passed it I think is to do a. project that like you have nothing to do. with show up and saying other people's. words and you know you're doing it with. real actors and people that are like. been doing it for years and just holding. your own and being natural and being. good you know I mean and and so I just. wanted to give you that those props you.

know because um you really did kill it. thanks man all right you're welcome you. always do a nice job man of uh saying. nice things about people where'd you. learn that I. wonder H where'd you learn that like you. always do that where you like say. something nice about people I'll tell. you. why because I. hate this this business is dude back in. the 9s like I just put out this [ __ ]. like who was you got. or something yeah yeah no. no no but check this out dude check so.

check this out so this right here I just. posted this is a. 1998 okay original room lineup wow okay. I can't wait to see this actually yeah. and. um I mean look at it. 1998 and when I saw this lineup I was it. brought me back to that time and in that. time in comedy mhm look at who's in it. they're still around Schubert's still.

around Johnny Sanchez Argus is still. around dice is still around Rogan Brian. Holzman wow right and this is 26 years. ago wow right yeah the whole lineup this. is July 4th July 2nd. 1998 Jonathan gosick okay Jonathan goic. one of the funniest guys I've ever met. in my life still does it no he quit wow. Dave Pierre one of the funniest guy I. mean I'm looking at it from 1998 Bobby.

Lee but I just remember watching those. fools and going wow they're funny you. know maybe maybe I'm maybe I've evolved. or whatever but they don't get here by. not having that in them I don't Jason. gar hilarious Bobby. Lee me oh y sorry eel gregoryi no don't. know who that is Jimmy Schubert love him. hilarious dud yeah Argus Hamilton around. still alive still alive can't believe. Rip but still still here still.

rip yeah uh Frankie P Pace Frankie Pace. Frankie Pace Luke Torres Andrew Dice. Clay yeah Joe Rogan briyan Holtzman yeah. and Rick Wright so back then I just. remember being a kid you know what I. mean cuz I'm in my early 20s yeah oh. you're right and you were the Talk of. the Town people said when you came out. no they hated me huh are you are your. [ __ ] didn't mind they [ __ ] hated. me back then dude really yeah it was. dude I would have dude I would have like.

white dudes literally walk out to me go. hey man Asians aren't funny wow yeah I. was like because of the war or. whatever what I said because of the war. whatever which war n Korean no whatever. the latest one was with you guys I don't. know yeah you guys keep the latest one. would would be Vietnam no you guys keep. starting [ __ ] dude I'm just saying and. we also won that okay we won that one. dude I agree bro dud what does. everything have to be a war with you.

dude bro I'm happy to I'm happy to go. over there and fight for you guys next. time I'll fight for you guys dude yeah. we dude V Vietnam War you did fight with. the South I think against the north I. want to fight for you guys yeah I know. you did the southern part of whatever. I'm not even Vietnamese in the South one. I'm not Vietnamese all right but in. Korea you guys fought with the South all. right yeah yeah yeah okay oh God dude. it's kind of [ __ ] I know dude this is. every time I'm with you dude I.

swear well you got to give a pamphlet or. something whenever you see people I know. but so anyway let's go back to this. lineup back then it was [ __ ] they. were people were so mean back then yeah. and what would they do they would write. stuff on your car or whatever. no I mean what do you mean like they. would you know or graffiti or whatever. no no no they wouldn't do stuff like. that but it would be more like you know. um one time I was um I had a uh a list. of jokes I was going to try and a.

comic picked that out of my hand and he. goes seen it seen it done it done it. seen it seen it done it and just handed. it back to me you know what I mean just. like flat out [ __ ] rude for no. [ __ ] reason because it's like but now. because because of the internet or. whatever it's just like there you can't. you're not you can't afford to act like. that right right because it's like. everyone has a shot. right and it's like and I remember back. then going you know if I'm ever in a.

position where I can be nice I'm just. going to be you do it all the time yeah. and I and I feel like I think I am you. do it well man um what do you mean doing. nice well you're nice too what the [ __ ]. you talking about you do it are you good. at. intros I don't know like when you bring. people up on stage oh you're pretty good. at it are you good at it I like going up. after you I know but are you good at it. I think I am all right so if I'm about.

to go up give me an intro I be like. ladies and gentlemen this next guy uh. I'll drop him off at a VFW and see how. they treat him over there he is a true. hero you know him from Bad friends okay. you know him from. different places on the internet you. guys it's enough it's enough it's not. good you guys give it up. it's it's it's enough sorry can I teach. you how to do it you guys give it up for.

Ken Jones no no okay can I teach you how. to do it yes all right I I I think I I. think I know cuz you're a master at I. agree so I my theory is this it's like. if you do like this next guy clubs and. colleges and just something that's not. specific right it's just the audience. can tell you there's no relationship. relationship between the two people. right so you put didn't personalize. things do I remember when I first met. this guy him and I had coffee and wanted.

you know what like you personalize it. right and then you get you give him. specific credits instead of clubs and. colleges you go dude I saw him in EP. like like for me if I brought you up I'd. be like dude I did a movie with this guy. called sweet dreams this guy killed it. and every you know he's killing it on St. you know just be you personalize it yeah. yeah yeah to let people know that you. have a real relationship Vietnam Vietnam. W whatever the [ __ ] you were saying BFW. whatever you were saying I wouldn't do. that but you know well yeah okay I'm.

just saying if I took you to a VFW and. dropped you off in there what is a VFW. Veterans of Foreign Wars oh that's right. that's right if what do you think huh if. I dropped you dropped me off at a VFW if. we dressed you up in like a civil war. uniform dropped you off right at a VF. right I have a musket right you're like. we're going to kill these guys yeah and. then I one of those you know I mean. mustaches like curl and one of those.

round. bugles yeah what do you think that would. happen yeah I think they'd be like they. call the FBI H yeah I I don't think. that' be good a lot of white guys be. like and I walked in wow. okay. y yeah yeah does blue chew work if. you're asking that question well we want. you to know that blue chew is putting. their money where their mouth is by. giving you a month free blue chew is an.

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talk to visit betterhelp.com. Theo today to get 10% off your first. month ReDiscover your curiosity with. better help that's better. HP betterhelp.com. Theo to get 10% off your first month. dude did you see that pull up that um. there was there was one lady that. covered the Trump thing it would think. this was an Asian lady do you you see. the thing uh covered the that time that. we interviewed Trump this is kind of.

self grandis or whatever oh here we go. but that's not even all Trump has wooed. this hyper masculine online culture. deeply during a recent podcast with the. comedian thean instead of talking about. economy or immigration or health care or. the global conflicts they discussed. cocaine addiction. no did you did you really yeah would you.

ask him have you ever asked him he did. Coke he doesn't do Coke right he never. done drugs drink drink doesn't smoke. Don't drink don't smoke yeah C. addiction what did you ask him though um. what's up with cocaine addiction I just. we talked about addiction his brother. died from addiction oh wow so we talked. from alcoholism I'm sorry so we talked. about that and then we talked about why. he never drank or smoke he kind of let. on that he thought there could be some. tendencies that he could have the same. thing as brother had so I think he. didn't want you know he he had fear.

about that I can't you know I don't do. you understand that or no what your. brother having something you have you. mean no no no no cuz I met like I. remember like Dane Cook was like that. like I don't drink or do drugs Carlos. Mania for a while was like that too. where I was like yeah I don't touch that. stuff like to me it's like I love it. yeah you love it yeah cuz I just I think. I don't I over time I don't my my. natural state I think wasn't my favorite. throughout my life probably how I felt.

so if I could change that in some way. then I want to do that so those are the. things you change it with either you. know stuff like that I think I just. don't like. feelings yeah wow that's interesting I. don't any it's like I and I'm sober now. and i' and I've been able to like kind. of what my therapist says is to like. kind of just I identify what you're. feeling right and feel it you know and I.

um but I never liked them I never like. depression or sadness or trauma or any I. when I I just I just it doesn't sit well. in my body you know what I mean so it's. like I always like consume things so. that but it's you know but that's more. destructive you know and so that's why. I'm sober and I I'm I feel pretty free. now and I I think I can handle most. emotions well you take on a lot more. social you've been lot more social I. think in the past two years it seems. like soci what do you mean just like. trying to stay busy do more things right.

like actually put yourself out into. situations and stuff um dude I think I. never like you said I didn't like having. feelings I. like no matter how I felt I felt ashamed. of how I felt that was weird you know. yeah like a lot of times I wouldn't feel. good and this I'm trying to I'm not. getting into self-pity I'm just say I'm. not saying this I feel fine today but. sometimes I wouldn't feel good and then. I would feel ashamed for not feeling. feeling good that's the part that I. didn't understand sometimes cuz that. made it so hard to like figure out the.

first part you know does it make any. sense or no yeah it makes like a lot of. sense and it just I just it just struck. me. that I don't want to get too um. sentimental with you but there are times. where I really believe this that I feel. concerned about. you really yeah I just because I I I you. know I um because I don't know really.

what's going on you know I feel like you. know there was a time where that we we. talked more and there was more. communication but let's let's face it um. you've risen a little bit I know you. hate to it's hard to hear it's hard to. hear it's hard to hear that you've risen. but you have well things we got things. work things are so good for you right. and I think with that rise right I. there's like more of a disconnect with. your friends because you're so busy and. you know you're doing other things I get.

it but it's like I I'm always concerned. about like you know you know if you're. sober if like is he going to meetings. you know is he um you know I mean. talking to people about things that are. going on you know I I you know I always. feel like things are probably good with. you but it's like I have to admit that. there is you. know concern I don't know why I mean cuz. I love you no appreciate I mean I love. you love you too you know that right. yeah okay yeah I think yeah it's kind of.

been I know this is a comedy podcast but. it's like you know I just and I just. have to say that because it's like. because I've seen it I've seen people. rise and then you know they get lost and. then also there's people around them. that don't necessarily care and they're. just in it for the right I don't know. who you're surrounding yourself with or. whatever you know I mean so you mean. you're probably healthy and doing well I. don't know but it's like there is a. concern that like you know maybe um you. mean you're it's alone at the when you.

get higher up there's more. loneliness yeah yeah I mean how are you. I don't know I mean I think podcasting. makes me feel pretty connected to people. you know I think me not living here has. been it's been good but it's also been I. don't get to see a lot of people as much. I don't get to see a lot of my guys from. AA I think yeah my sober program hasn't. been that good the past month for sure. um and so I think the really two months. like or probably the past month but just. yeah not being able to like you know.

it's like I'll work late and so then I. don't want to make the morning Zoom. meeting or make the you know and then. I'll get up late and then I it's like I. try to go to the gym then I'll miss the. noon in person meeting so just yeah I. got to touch base with some people and. um dude I was in but get honest and get. tight yeah I was in but for a month. Montana for a month for doing what I did. a movie and there like be there's. nothing to. do and one day I was in my hotel room. there was nothing to do and I called one. of the guys that lives there and I go.

can you give me an a. schedule and I tked a couple of times. all the way this like in the boonies oh. yeah and I walk into the school and like. there's old white people with oxygen. tanks and like you know what I mean and. obviously they drug mules yeah drug yeah. and obviously they've never seen an. Asian walk into an a meeting there yeah. I never saw one black person in yeah so. when I walked in it was just like. Charlie you know what I mean. you they get Vietnam flashbacks you know. I mean you get down get down you know I.

mean you know I'm in AA too you know. what I mean and when I'm sitting there. right even though like um you know we. don't have the same lifestyles of these. people right you know at least I can say. to myself like you know I'm trying you. know I'm trying to like take care of. myself on a daily basis and. um dude one [ __ ] I went to a meeting. andh. I you know because there's only two Uber. drivers in be mhm and um this guy came.

this guy just sitting next to me goes. hey. man my name is Derek and I go thank he. goes I'm a fan I go he goes you want to. ride home fan you mean yeah what do you. mean like a. Asian no not like a dad fan oh. okay it was a that fan no I know no it. was a fan of you know what I mean of. mine and my comedy yeah yeah right and. and then he and then so I get in the car. with his wife M and we go the opposite. direction no of the.

hotel they want to watch you [ __ ]. throw that little yolene long strokes. yeah yeah and so then I go hey my. hotel's that way like we know man where. we going you're going to our house wow. right so going to this house and they. want me to meet their kids nuh-uh yeah. how old were the kids I don't know but. they were little white kids oh too young. so they came up I was there's these two. dogs that [ __ ] jump on top of.

me and then there's these like white. kids that come out of the room right. wiping their you know what I mean. they're not crying they're you know. they're how when they wake wake up yeah. yeah like that and they're like yeah our. mommy took us to Missoula and gave us. $300 to for for school clothes [ __ ] I to. beat their ass would even know you can't. beat their ass yeah you can like [ __ ]. you [ __ ] $300 dude to split amongst my. mom gave me $30 from the time I was age. five to the time I was age 18 oh you're.

right you're right you're right yeah so. 300 those kids I was in that house for. like 45 minutes yeah it sounds like. you're why would it sounds like you. waste your time no no what I'm saying is. I'm willing to go to like these link to. like just whatever you know what I mean. and they're they're super sweet yeah I. didn't think I was going to get like. imagine if I was in a well in the. basement yeah right and you're like what. would you have throw down you get two. things thrown into the well oh [ __ ]. um oh [ __ ] yeah Al so I would.

Lube no no no no that's not good I mean. if you're going to also use it as a. beverage I think it's fine but you're. you're right you're right two things. that water yeah that's and then food oh. yeah like Jersey Jersey mics or seeds. plant your own food yeah yeah yeah yeah. but oh but you know how it depends on. how long it takes to grow or you could. also eat the fingernails that are in the. [ __ ] right that's protein. right is that protein yeah I was just.

the fingernails right and eat them you. know what I mean a little bit of wall. caviar huh I would be so fright would. you be frightened oh I would be so. scared dude and I would probably what. would I do down there sing a. lot and you'd have to hold your PE PE or. your there's an echo so what song would. you hear Sing I would I would sing um. you I know what oh little town of. Bethlehem that's a good one from. adce adce imagine I'm in a well and I.

just go. [Music]. a. a right you get a shrimp and. they throw. shrimp they catch it like a [ __ ] W. okay there's drugs dude is there a lot. of drugs right now I've been hear. there's a lot of drugs in the uh in the. Asian Community a lot of Tran or. whatever I've been hearing there's like. a lot of um I've been hearing that tran. is the big thing in the Asian Community.

is that true like chanks for Tran or. whatever it's like just just hear me out. all right it's like if I said to you man. I heard there's a lot of shoelaces in. the white Community yeah does that make. any sense to you wait uh like like why. would like honestly okay man I heard. there's a lot of [ __ ] uh um glitter. in the black community I mean it doesn't. make what whatever you're saying. doesn't I feel like you're just coming. up with Asian. [ __ ] yeah yeah you're just like you're.

just like I heard there's a lot of you. know I mean Google no no no don't don't. Google well no what I'm saying is is. that do no I'm I'm so you make me so mad. sometimes dude really no I'm fine I'm. sorry Google Asian Asians and drugs. Asians for. Tran dear reports widespread uh wait. wait it's purple so you've looked it up. before yeah I haven't yeah yeah. why would you look that up already these. guys some of these guys live here all. night DEA reports a widespread threat of.

fentanyl mixed withy that's TR Daddy. yeah where does it say Asians on that. well let's see it's going to get there. xylazine is making the deadliest drug. throughout our country has ever faced. fentol even deadlier said administrator. Milgram of the DEA the DEA is SE. xylazine and fentol mixed in 48 of 50. states um the system is reporting that. in 2022 approximately 23% of fanol. powder and 7% of fanol pills seized by. the DEA contained xylazine okay I know.

where the Asian comes from can I tell. you where yeah this is what you read. Zine is making the deadliest drug threat. our country has ever faced fentel even. deadlier said Administration millgram. and and it says right here um no up no. up there also known as Tran yeah you. think that's an Asian word Tran it's not. but Tran is obviously an Asian name yeah. I know but you can't. you know what I'm talking about I know. what you're talking about but I'm just. saying that's not what it's referring to.

I think it's referring to. tranquilizer oh I see what you're saying. yeah yeah so what I'm saying is just. like you I mean tranquilizer yeah yeah I. thought it was like um Tran seems like a. like a Vietnamese or Korean nickname you. agree TR trunk I. just like Matt like Matthew trunk I know. I know Matthew trunk yeah I know. I know graduate sociology major yeah so. dude I want to let you know dude but.

that is Tran that's F I understand but. that has nothing to do with Asians okay. okay let's just move on from Google go. to images then see if we get. any okay here we go yeah you're right. maybe right there you tell me that. face is an. Aion I think you're. right Asians for Tran yeah I think. you're right well you know I learned. something new thank you I'm sorry for.

attacking you yeah it's okay man it. breaks my heart though um It's just sad. is this someone on Tran right here look. at her sneakers she is a brand new. drugie oh this is somebody on Tran D. fentanyl dude can you pause that for a. second dude sometimes sometimes people. with their on fentanyl it's almost as if. they're doing yoga but then they freeze. like I want to do downward dog. yeah oh it's sad it's so sad I shouldn't. have even made a joke like that well.

it's sad that it's just like have you. ever done fentel no I hope not yeah me. either I cuz cuz I remember years ago. vikin and really [ __ ] me up really I. was addicted to vikin you take night or. during the day all day long like from. like dude I got dude Drew. Barrymore I swear to God I think still. hates me because of that wow I'll tell. you why for doing Viking in no because I. used to have a Bowl mhm of vicadin in my. [ __ ] dressing room at. matttv and The Strokes played one night.

oh wow right yeah and I guess the. drummer was dating Drew Barrymore right. he was trying to get sober or something. like that but they all ended up going. into my room and eating all my pills. yeah you know cuz I'm generous yeah yeah. [ __ ] it go get it right and then I heard. that she was mad at. me cuz you had the it's not your fault. that's true it's not your fault that you. had had them I know that's true we can't. you know it's weird to blame the dealer. unless the dealer was like pushing them. on you were you pushing them on them.

yeah was dude I'm sorry if I'm being. rude I feel now am I being like dude. what are you talking about dude all. right there's listen. guy. what. what oh no okay listen guy yeah what. what are you doing I'm I'm listening oh. that's you yeah I'm.

listening you if I'm really M well you. know because you didn't give me your. number for a long time yeah but you know. that when I have a resentment I didn't. know it also yeah you did [ __ ] off all. right yeah [ __ ] you dude I you're right. yeah yeah um if I was mad at you I I'm I. I'm very comfortable of going listen I. have an issue have you ever had an issue. with me be honest. have you ever had a resentment toward me. like I wish he didn't do that or no.

sometimes I feel like it's a little. tough to try and get to know you kind of. but I think it's tough to try and get to. know. comedians you know yeah but that being. said I mean I'm a comedian right it's. hard to know any comedian and I think. you're people everybody loves you so. much that it's like you want that guy to. know you want to know that guy better I. think you know dude. I out of all the comics I know I feel. like I'm closest you're one of the. closest ones to me and if that I mean. I'm trying my best you know I mean I.

like you I like bird I like Whitney I. love Andrew you know what I mean Tom. some sigura you know I mean but it's. like you know I I try dude and you're. busy yeah I'm pretty busy you know what. I mean but it's like you know we do the. best we can with what we have yeah and. what's going on you know um you are um. you are um you. you you. [Music]. are you a a gun owner or Not N you a gun.

owner n no no n you don't gun num Chucks. num Chucks dude Chinese stars D yeah. yeah I do the Chinese star yeah every. you use chiny star no I never use it. yeah yeah oh well the F. Well yeah yeah yeah yeah I lie li no. that's a that's not a real gun. dude yeah yeah that's a real or is that. one of those guns that starts a. race what that is Ready set go like no.

um the burglar just run off when you. fire it yeah that's a plastic BB kind of. a gun what's the other one still a gun. and that looks like a gun yeah yeah but. that was on a TV show yeah yeah yeah so. um wow look at that acting that's Miami. Vice H [ __ ] terrible no Magnum was. Magnum um on what have you been dating a. lot or not all right let's you want to. get into it yeah because it seems like a. lot of stories you tell have had dating. in.

them I'm trying to okay um I'm trying to. find. um the love of my life are you. really I think I'm. ready okay Bob you look like Stevie. right now uh how you doing no I I I. listen. I'm I like some of the girls that I'm. dating now MH but they're kind of. flaky like you know like I'll I like I.

won't call in on a Thursday CU I know. cuz I've said like let's go to dinner. and hang out right and so then Thursday. will come around like nah I don't want. to do it now or I'm busy like [ __ ] I. sacrificed stage time you know how you. know how valuable stage time is yeah you. know I mean it's like so it's like that. kind of [ __ ] and then it's like. um yeah I just and also. there do I fully trust. them you know what I mean I think so man.

I no I want to be able to find somebody. that I fully can confide in and go this. is how I feel you know what I mean and. um and I want somebody to also go give. me suggestions or like feedback that I. kind of honor and respect and go oh yeah. that's a good you know angle you know. what I mean it's just like but then also. I want somebody hot right so to find. that combo combination you know what I. mean you want somebody you're attracted. to yeah somebody I'm attracted like what. what I find attractive isn't necessarily.

what you think I think so though I think. you and I like the same maybe I don't. know you know no I never I I the couple. of girls I've seen you with over the. years are people I mean are people that. I would be like I mean there there's. this one girl that you used to see that. I just thought you should marry but. yeah I remember. dude cuzz I just saw regret there I just. saw regret there dude yeah yeah yeah and.

but that's the thing I think that you. and I have the same kind of issues I. think we have inous issues oh yeah yeah. yeah and I think that um it's hard for. us to get really vulnerable I mean I had. that with Kila for 10 years but she was. the first one in many many years that I. could do that with there's just. something about her that was I was able. to like we were able to do that right. but it's like um but did the nemac. freeze up after a while like it was hard. to like be like uh sensual or. whatever I I I you know the truth is is.

I think. that God I can't. [ __ ] I think it's this you want me to. say or not no no no no okay what I want. to say that don't say that yeah yeah. yeah but what I want to say is um the. problem with us because number. one we we we go up on stage right and. what's more exciting than that the this. is inherently is super exciting and. there's dopamine hits right I'm going to. get a lot of feeling from right there.

right and so then also you and I are. also Rec recovering drug addicts so we. like. excitement right and we don't like the. same old thing right so there is. something about meeting somebody new. right right it's almost like you get. that yeah you get uh that forgetful. syndrome it's like you right yeah but at. the end of the day and I'm going to I've. never said this out loud before. and um I think I [ __ ] it up with Kila. and I think that I wish I would have.

done it over again because I would have. changed some things right at this point. it's too late you know what I mean we've. both move have moved on but um there's a. lot of regret there I um and I I and I. swear to god. dude I will the next girl I meet that. you know and there's a couple of girls. that have potential I'll be honest with. you right now m but I the next thing I'm. going to do it differently number one. I'm going to get rid of all my machines.

wow really yep I have a vacuum. cleaner and what is that like a sex. thing or something oh you mean an actual. carpet cleaner no I dude I showed up at. bad friends one day and somebody had. sent me something that I swear to God is. the size of a vacuum cleaner right it. was like this big yeah with all these. tubes and stuff it was a sex toy no yeah. of course I took it home and you used it.

I plugged it in oh d i I have so many of. them oh I have so many of them and I. stick it in. I what does it play it just beethovens. here or whatever. yeah yeah yeah it's like right and. you what. [Music].

hey put it on Christmas yeah jingle bell. jingle bell jingle bell I I I swear to. God these new machines dude you it sucks. you in dude oh see I don't they never. let go dude I'm 80 days off pornography. right now wow I'm going to give you a. machine man no please I don't want. anything like I but I'm going to I know. but you got to try it what does it do it. does three things okay okay not just one. thing dud okay all right is it gas power. you plug it in no it's not no the vacuum. cleaner I will probably not use again.

because I almost I had to grabs parts of. my penis inside the [ __ ] little. filter there right it took stuff out so. it was too powerful okay but I want to. say this okay I have one that I bought. at the Hustler Store yeah. right and it does three. things no oh really just two things so. it vibrates uhuh and. sucks wow right. and so you know what I mean does it sort. coins I think it might hell yeah yeah I.

think it might yeah yeah how long do you. have to stay on it for 8 seconds no what. I do is I um it's also waterproof that's. a key that yeah yeah but so so yeah I. know so the next relationship I'm. in that's what you do it makes me just. no Daddy no Daddy sound like a man dude. what Daddy sounds like a man yeah yeah. it better be better a chick named Daddy. yeah. um do you miss your dad huh yeah I miss.

my dad dude I'm when did he die what. year did he die bring up a picture of my. dad he died in. 19. 996 you miss him though yeah yeah I. didn't I don't. know cuz I didn't like yeah I missed him. I just said I knew him better you know. do you miss your dad yeah I that's dude. you just hit it on the [ __ ] nail on.

the. coffin was that the wrong way to say it. I you hit the um I I here's the thing I. don't know nothing about him really yeah. CU my dad didn't speak English right and. I barely spoke Korean so everything was. like for instance you know like when you. you know when you're in high school for. instance and you're going let's say I. was a white kid I was going out and your. Dad gives you like a little pep talk. like you know don't drink and drive. right um also you know if you're in. trouble give me a call whatever you.

whatever they say you know what I mean. but my dad didn't do that he would just. go I go goodbye Dad he go don't do I go. I won't do I mean that's it that's the. that's it yeah if I ask my dad um tell. me about how you feel I don't know you. good but they they don't like you're. like what the [ __ ] are you talking about. yeah yeah what's your favorite pasta oh. I like you know it's very good you know. like he does there's.

dude he never. bro he didn't know what music. was no he didn't know what music was. yeah dude right so when he he had a. stroke right oh gosh I didn't know. that I knew your dad passed away I don't. he had a stroke though yeah he had many. strokes so he had two major strokes and. couple of me strok you ever seen that. show yeah I love it dude yeah he had two. you know Willis's what you talk about.

Willis you know what I mean anyway uh. great show oh yeah and one Mr Drummond. that's one that really shook him so what. was I oh what I was saying oh so he had. a bunch of strokes and I had like um. airpods and I was at his house in. Phoenix and I go um Dad he's like you. know he goes yeah I go will you listen. to music for the first time I mean he. obviously he's been in a mall and he's. heard it right but he doesn't know he.

doesn't have a fan band or he doesn't. know what Beethoven is or whatever right. and so I put in Eric Clapton's um what's. it um Tears in Heaven Tears in Heaven oh. I put it in my brother my Steve was. there too my brother and we pushed. play and. tears came down my dad's face no way. right it was the first time he goes. that. beautiful wow it was incredible and then.

he died damn yeah so he didn't know I. didn't I didn't learn anything from the. dude and it's but do you were you. ashamed of him it feels like you were. embarrassed by him some. reason I hated. him and you know I've told the story. before but not on this I don't think um. when I was I've told this a couple times. you mind if I tell the story yeah no I. haven't heard it yeah I don't know it. you know you know who do I live. with your.

friends no have cats oh yeah I have. three cats yeah uh I think you have a. couple of cats yeah and so when I was a. kid I loved them something about them. the cats just cats in general yeah and. um when I was eight I. go um C could I get a. cat and they got me a cat a kitten and. named Tommy and they wouldn't put him in. the house we put him in the garage with. had like a little fence thing in the. garage that's fair yeah good compromise.

and then over the summer every day I. just sat with Tommy eight hours a day. however long he was the love of my life. and then one day a couple of months. later three months later I go to the. garage he's completely gone so I you. know I go mom dad and they came in the. garage I go where's Tom and my dad goes. mommy she. allergic and I go uhhuh he's said Tom. gone and he goes stop.

crying and then he just left the garage. there was like no room for compromise or. anything like whatever he that's why I. hate authority authority figures right. there was no room for discussion I. didn't know where Tom went stop crying. shut the [ __ ] up and that's it damn and. that was the day where I looked at my. parents and I went okay it's. War it's War I started doing drugs yeah. you know what I mean raising hell yeah.

raising hell lighting things on fire I. didn't give a Fu embarrass the family. yeah and it's like um that's why if I I. mean if I had a kid I mean how would you. approach that I was a kid your your your. wife is allergic to the [ __ ] you know. I mean cat and I'm your kid be real I. would don't do comedy don't do comedy. right now I would probably get a [ __ ]. I'm I'm your dad I'm your son okay hey. Dan. boobby no no. you do it sorry just do it like me I. don't know by way you don't have to have.

an Asian accent okay I don't know what I. don't know what country we in no no no. you're you okay got it I didn't know out. of nowhere you're going to have an Asian. accent I don't know what country we're. in no we in America who gives a [ __ ]. well give me a setting there all yeah. yeah yeah well you I have to be that. specific yeah you're just okay you live. in Nashville okay your wife is white. you're my son yeah I'm so I'm not Asian. all right believe that I'm your. biological son okay right yeah hey Daddy. hey Chucky what's.

up how was school buddy Chucky's good. Daddy good yeah Daddy how was school huh. dad school was great Daddy I hear. they're holding you back again they. holding me back you know like fire like. sun daddy yes sir yeah yeah hey dude you. know what I mean gang them up gang them. up gang them up boy I love you Chucky I. gang up I know we had a cat here. yesterday yeah yeah so where's time. your mother's allergic to cats oh so. where's Tommy dadd mom gets sick mom get. I understand I understand if we have cat.

mom gets sick I know but where's Tommy. now Tommy is gonna be at your aunt's. house and you can go play with him in. the afternoon that's. dude that's. it that's what you're supposed to do now. your aunt drinks a lot of. wine and she gets a little handsy with. the kids you know she gets what they. call fronia hands yeah Daddy I don't. need to know the specifics of like how. what my auntie's behavior is going to be. like is he she going to hurt when she. gets drunk is she going to hurt Tommy no.

she just might love him as much as you. do CU I know my cousins have all black. eyes because you know your cousins are. black that's why oh he they were adoped. I forgot daddy so you just got to roll. with me here yeah yeah I love black. people daddy you taught me that Amen. brother I'm going to go inside now G. what come inside today huh you relax out. here no Daddy can I come inside today. you relax I know why do I have to sleep. outside Daddy you don't just wait till. the sun comes down you come I'll sneak. in again all right Daddy but I wish I. could just have my own room and stuff no.

we're going to put some treats right up. by the door for you all right we're. going to put a craft single I love you. Daddy love you too gang dad gang gang. gang pretty good yeah pretty good dude. good dad dude pretty good dude good Dad. how long have we gone uh we'll finish up. in a second dude Halloween's coming up. hold let me can we cut this part out. yeah how's it going this podcast yeah I. have no idea it's very funny we're we're. laughing no. how is it going I I feel like I I'm I've. been the worst I've ever been on the. show no I swear to God this is this is. awesome it's been fun man do you ever.

get that though because dude you have to. understand Monday I did two hours with. Bert then I did probably three [ __ ]. tiger bellies which is like over an hour. a piece you talk so much you just. [ __ ] don't know at one point dude we. you and I have talked think about it. thousands of hours of. nonsense yeah yeah [ __ ] nonsense. crazy huh that's yeah and there's and. there's times where I'm sorry you just. kind of go I don't even know what else.

to say anymore yeah you know what I mean. that's why we got to have experiences in. the world so we can have more stuff to. talk about or we have to talk about. people that we can learn stuff from that. have had experiences and George George. is here my producer from right he's okay. and so George he's changed a lot oh too. so much but George dude it's like I've. talked so much you you trying to bleed. me dry. no you're doing great this is the best. ever now that sounds like condescending. dude yeah it sounds like something.

somebody it tast sounds like that guy. that killed Elvis remember his manager. whatever snow cone or whatever that. dude's name was his name snow cone yeah. you mean you mean U Tom hanks's. character yeah yeah would you [ __ ] doing. great would you [ __ ] Austin Butler would. I [ __ ] Austin Butler no I'd [ __ ] Elvis. probably would you have [ __ ] out of. this I don't know would you have. Cleopatra. who was that in the history of she was. the Egypt Queen oh yeah yeah but it's. hard to know what she really looked like. yeah that's true um but if you're going.

to travel all the way back in time you. got to smash you feel me I think You'. have an easier time smashing than me. what about Frederick Douglas the black. eyy smash or pass smash smash for sure. yeah yeah yeah although he is probably. um oh look at him do you think he has a. gapy butthole or no huh I don't know I. heard he's got an underground railroad. that's insane that's insane what you. just said there we're going to hell yeah. no no but I some I did hear that he was. gay but I don't know that should bring.

that hairstyle back a lot of my black. friends told that he was he enjoyed the. pleasures of men dude that hairstyle has. to come back oh yeah what is that it's. an it's like an afro but con conch con. yeah yeah yeah conk con what's that. hairstyle yeah yeah. yeah that's interesting it's not really. straightened but he kind of ComEd the. afro what is a conch hairstyle what is. the Conch hairstyle yeah there it is. it's the Conch hairstyle a conch is a. hairstyle that was worn by some.

African-American men between 1940s and. early 1960s the name comes from the. congolene a lie based gel used to. chemically straighten or relax hair once. straightened people styled their hair. into pador or wore it slick back yeah. they have um it kind of has a look that. maybe Bruno Mars would kind of Malcolm X. did it a lot in his book Bruno Mars is. um. though but in the Malcolm X book there's. a lot of uh call care Styles yeah yeah I. could see Bruno having it rocking it. though what a talented man yeah yeah.

let's look at a couple Tik toks and. let's get Bobby on the road anything new. that's happening in tick. tocking yep we got a. couple this is the this this stuff are. you good at this stuff what is it. looking at like looking at stuff and. then commenting on it why do you do why. do you do it well I like to show things. that I'm amazed by you okay I want to be. amazed this is a deaf rapper. [Music].

[Laughter]. oh. [ __ ] dude then I'm a death rapper dude. if you're a death rapper I want yeah you. do something MCA you do something. MCA going we're going to hell D good. what else we got man hit me one one more. off of my faves or that I starred un. masking oh look at.

this I'm not saying they're taking our. jobs but look at it again. dude smoking bro is going what is going. on dude yeah fumar you know fumari Mouse. yeah I mean dude wow there should be a. rule yeah dude there should be what do. you think is the rule is I think I want. many in the costume to be a woman that's. the number one rule yeah yeah what about. Mexican woman that's fine you know.

that's fine with me too me me yeah but. with a Mexican man who looks like the. guy that works for Jimmy Kimmel what's. that security guard oh Hortensia that's. him dude yeah yeah I don't want that. yeah that's like a tall heno they don't. have that one more bring it. up oh this a marriage proposal this is. crazy bro this is what you got to do. Bobby if you're going to meet someone. yeah it's a carjacking right right. wow take the husband they take the. husband yeah break all the car.

windows [ __ ] that's. insane imagine dude oh you know what. love is love man Love Is Love dude wow. it's good to know you know what's funny. dude one time whenever we do this we'll.

both be. married we will never we have to start. to believe that Bobby because if we. don't dude then we never will be. man and it's going to get weird. bro can we promise US each other this we. can do group vacations like couple. vacations yeah if we're married and then. when they're like girls are surfing or. doing their little thing mhm we you and. I can get together yeah hit a meeting. chat do something like yeah that' be fun.

anyway it's really nice I I'm going to. see you soon right yeah I got to do bad. friends soon yeah yeah yeah all right. thank you I love you man yep thank you. now I'm just floating on the breeze and. I feel I'm falling like these leaves I. must be. [Music]. Cornerstone oh but when I reach that. ground I'll share this piece of my life. found I can feel it in my. bones but it's going to take.