Bobby Lee 3 | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #256

today's guest is a small hero of sorts. he's the kind of boy man that uh that. sometimes you just imagine is just. scurrying through your garden and. stealing squashes are still in uh a. couple karotz you know it he is part of. the tiger belly podcast he he's the. tiger with the belly comedian actor. effervescent human mr. Bobby Lee.

[Music]. [Music]. that little pari squirrel himself boy. what's up Bukka you know what bro Papa.

needs an apology I think he does yeah. because you start a war with Papa. right now on the streets people call me. do wrong oh yeah they do yeah everywhere. I go I want to say something about here. if they call you a delivery higher but. let me tell you something bro yeah. you've been the NAM bro huh I've been. you've been right yeah they've been. doing this haircut for years. you see platoon Papa they all did this.

[ __ ] ho Chi Minh bro mm-hmm so what I'm. saying is that I didn't steal it from. you I stole it from the greats from wait. but here's the thing bro you coming into. you know the world we live in bro. there's only so many types of styles. everybody has a style right you know. everybody has a like Chris D'Elia has. that kind of like Rick Springfield kind. of concrete ballerina yeah you got your. boy slick red over there [ __ ].

oh that freak yeah yeah he's got red. heads can't do nothing that ganger bro. right they can do two things the one he. has in the know Ron Howard yeah he's got. that right you gotta go bald to do wrong. right right but my say something to you. my friend yes we've been waiting for. decades to hear whatever it is Bieber. right yeah you know the Bieber who. Justin Bieber no franklinb yeah you. don't know Frankie no Justin Bieber bro. JB yeah JB do remember his haircut they.

always said that's the Bieber cut right. that bull crossover you know the. comb-over but the Chinese been doing. that for 2,000 years bro you can't just. call the Bieber out of nowhere so what. I'm saying is the mullet ain't feel. Vaughn it's just a mullet but here's the. thing brah it's not a mullet okay it is. a display of your heart it's a display. of your ambiance brah it's a display of. your freaking virility and your raw. ability yeah you know it's.

[ __ ] bro it's that 3-inch baby cape. yeah bro you gotta let that thing dangle. brother right do you feel better with it. you must feel more empowered I feel much. more empowered I feel like I can bang. southern chicks better really yeah yeah. yeah yeah you can definitely run out of. gas. yeah yeah I just feel like I can go to a. trailer oh yeah right and just rip up. the holes you don't mean yeah whether it. be you know a pillow or a woman it.

doesn't matter Oh some reverse driver. right yeah just tie anything you know. like that but my point is is that maybe. you're right maybe I get it because. you're so you're you know I admire you. it's hard to say what died Mario oh oh. yeah my admirer you're making it one. here I understand that but here's the. thing some people you come with a. certain style you get then people gonna. say you're a certain thing you know. cornrow your [ __ ] hair people gonna say.

you're Tiffany Haddish yeah yeah yeah. you know you shave off all your body. hair we tell people gonna say you're. Joey wrote if you see a fat fro yeah. Eric Griffin yeah you're right Griffin. with little [ __ ] uh you probably. bedazzles it that's complaining a lot he. could bleed the love bra Oh brah I love. him dude that fat [ __ ] he is he still. fat I don't think so but that's not. really fat that it's just the.

sickle-cell anemia in your body you know. I mean that's causing the way they used. to have an urban show sickle-cell. Saturday I remember and it was a where. urban comedy where Memphis oh really. sickle-cell Saturday yeah Wow in Memphis. man you do good in front of black people. I don't mom I mean black people don't do. blind people support that much that many. white things though do they support any. white entertainment yeah I mean I just.

played her vine and I had one black. person our vines hard that guy comes to. my shows yes Steve yes Steve yeah Steve. Smith yeah he was adopted so Steve was. there at my shows at Irvine every show. oh yeah yeah but. ever I see groups of black African. America or what do you call it black I. say black friends are urban gentlemen. yeah my lamb within the eye or the first. 48 that's right. but when they come I get really excited. you do yeah because it's like you know.

I'm reaching you know I like to reach. everybody I know I do [ __ ] joke's on. you know on stage I don't think you do. man. thanks you've been doing a lot of new. stuff some you know because I have to do. a special I think eventually oh yeah. yeah so many fun like new haircut new. special yeah bro I want to UM but do you. think that but I feel like white people. support a ton of black entertainment. they do I don't feel like black that. does the same as the reverse way do you. feel that way well you know you have.

different kinds of blacks right you have. the ones that are like terraria know. Nigeria order are chemically yeah yeah. yeah thinking black okay TB they could. beat you in chess at any moment right. right right but then you got the Aaron. Hernandez people that hung out with her. Aaron Hernandez yeah those types oh yeah. they'll hide the truck for them Nick. yeah yeah yeah right but nikkor and tate. or whatever that boy's name yes so i. can't i can't reach them right I love.

them you can't get that urban urban oh. yeah I want my gaps audience we had the. Gary Owen audience yeah yeah you know so. you know I want to I you know I get a. lot of you think though overall I mean. in your also do what's what's it like. are black people and anyway getting. along you're getting wait no why your. face is chunky oh I'll probably have to. pop a few zits do you feel I'm serious. bro I need to get you but your Chi I see. you cheeks it's good really yeah you. funk you look gone earlier like a couple.

of months ago he died from AIDS or. something. oh no yeah yeah but then he got he got. you know what kind of AIDS but it's no. Freddie Mercury a is the good kind. Oh singing yeah I'll take singing AIDS. any day worry that was your question. about the um how are blind people in. Asian people getting along what's going. on there I'm like what are you talking. about I'm just saying we tell you the. history of it. okay okay for many many years. Asians would open up liquor stores in.

urban areas right and then like you know. accuse them of [ __ ] accuse him with the. Asians would accuse the black people. [ __ ] of what like taking now and laters. and stuff yeah or like you know no. browsing oh yeah can you touch you by oh. that kind of [ __ ] it's like [ __ ] I want. to pick up my handy my candy bar and. look at the [ __ ] you know calorie. count and [ __ ] yeah right so they would. do that black people and they will go.

you touch you buy or you browse in. liquor stores you don't just go in and. go go right to the KitKat's Yeah right. maybe I want to look at the [ __ ] you. know uh you know did the coconut. right right coconut milk or so riot. lemon yeah that what happened was um. they were doing all that [ __ ] cuz I go. to this Korean spa before they wouldn't. even let black people in there but then. what happened was bro the riots and then. the rock and then the black people burn. liquor stores down yeah why just because.

oh you bro you can be flammable yeah but. still what they did you know I mean they. burn it down to the ground but do tell. me if you guys are getting along I'm. gonna get to the history so then what. happened was dude then you know after. that Koreans softened right and then. after that right rush hour. came out yeah and then that we can solve.

crimes together yeah Jackie Chan Jackie. Brown right we can like you know we. don't understand each other we're in the. cop car but we could still solve this. [ __ ] oh yeah yeah all that stuff so then. after that everything's cool now I like. that yeah you like that now somebody. said that um a black friend told me that. [Music]. Chinese people are like the black people. of Asia is that true or is that what is.

that have you ever heard that. do you just say Chinese people are the. black people of Asia. yeah yeah aside from the fact they don't. have black dicks Chinese don't bro who's. going who got that large meat on the. Asian side Oh. Filipinos for sure mixed in with like. because the Spanish because they were. like invaded so much occupy bro that.

like you hated enough you get out very. little right. yeah the Spanish look in the Filipino. hole oh you know babies are made oh yeah. yeah right. and they squirt inside right in the. third the buck dick oh right so you know. they were colonized places that. recolonize are mixed in with [ __ ] I wish. black African nations colonized more. yeah because maybe I'd have a bigger. dick if they if the black people they do. a little bit they have the Barclays. Center oh if you've seen that I've never.

I've never had the ability to ask. someone who's Asian or semi Asian what. it's like to have like what that. relationship is like between black and. Asian people yeah I mean you know that. it's more hostile between Asians and. Asians brah really yeah I mean because. my dad growing up he gave me a list of. the best in our IP your dad man your dad. oh yeah thanks man but he used to give. me the list of the best ethnicities from.

best to worst right so it went number. one was Korean because that's what we. are number two and went Japanese and. jeiza number three was like cockroach. right then four was yo5 with snakes or. nah brother that's real six donkeys. seven Mexicans right but out of he made. a list of a hundred black people weren't. even on the list yeah and they weren't. even on the list I my list is blacks. number one brah.

yeah right so under Iverson right Allen. Iverson number one on sex not sex number. two regular nas regular right be Kim oh. yeah big kiss she was always big kid. bigad yeah but um no because that's you. so my dad comes from a generation of. Korean dudes and they had beef with. black people well they're number one. beef ultimately don't was with Japanese. and now you know because they they.

tortured rest for 5060 years no way yeah. I'm really all broke my dad used to tell. me some stories that will [ __ ] her mind. up sorry about that what I didn't do it. no I'm just sorry that it happened I. feel bad that uh yeah I didn't know that. happened. yeah what do you mean I don't know the. history huh you was the most [ __ ] up. thing bro so the jab bro so the Japanese. right yeah occupied Korea for all that. time Japanese are very sneaky huh oh. they're the sneaky as Pearl Harbor brawl. yeah right they were sleeping that you. know mean right right they did all that.

oh this sneaky little [ __ ] you know. we're calm sneaky chopsticks yeah. they're little cheeky chopsticks bro but. they make good ninjas that's why they do. huh yeah but I guess because they have. so much sneak in them big that's right. right and because I don't know why. they're the masks yeah why because you. know they all look the same right well.

you're not gonna see a tree with a ninja. and go with no mask and go hey is that. Frank Yamamoto you know you're gonna go. no ninja whatever rides a guy yeah dude. um so here's the thing so okay. so the Japanese occupied Korea for um 50. 60 years like really go over there and. they would take I swear to [ __ ] god. they would take all their rice oh and. that's her favorite yeah don't take our. rice it's like going to Italy and taking. their pasta yeah wearing your salt.

coming in borrow my salt yeah right so. then what happened was a lot of Korean. families they went to Japan they took. their fan right back no to go where the. food was but then there was a lot of. Korean families when Hiroshima and. Nagasaki fell bro so they all died too. so imagine that but all right I can. imagine yeah we're what finally we found. the rise and they look up in the sky. holy [ __ ]. yeah real rice tonight yes God super.

fried so but now everything's pretty. good between Asian cultures or what is. it like right now I think no I think. people are like what you know I used to. say certain things back in the day I got. in a lot of trouble bro the one thing I. said I said one time 15 years ago that. the Vietnamese were jungle Asians that's. all I said. AAA's they call them pull up a J see. what happens but then what happened was. dude I had to go to every Vietnamese. news outlet and do apologies oh really.

yeah because it's like not right I don't. know what I don't know why jungle agent. is bad I think it sounds like the best. guy like you know the best kind by the. way yeah that's the thing no but like. here's the thing racism if you're. actually racist where you're out. throwing like a like us like a Lance at. somebody or you're you know opening up. their door and sneak you know a sword in. their frickin grandparents and [ __ ]. right no way but if you're just mildly.

racist passing through town dude it's. not racism there's a certain level of. like hey it's okay to like joke around. about stuff get to your friends yeah you. can't like you know the other day I was. with what's that little black little. [ __ ] black guy that he was in the. Chappelle show oh why are you talking. about Donna Rosa now run yeah a little. dwarf a little dwarf he's getting taller. there we need what is he four left he's. five - yeah I know but he was four seven.

so love yeah yeah we sprinkle water on. any grows right but that little [ __ ]. black guy right done now we were hanging. out and I said hey little man right. because he was really loud Yeah right. you know Kings that would Brad Williams. oh yeah all those little tribes yeah and. I got a little man and he was loud and I. go we're in a movie theater hmm and we. all laughed or whatever right it's a. stereotype yeah you know but you can't. go up to some random black guy in a.

restaurant and say that yeah quiet down. in here you know yes a Bridges of. Madison. all right yeah which is actual for all. of that movie they do yeah do Marlon. Wayans his favorite movie what Bridges. of Madison County. in his second favor is Doctor Zhivago. bro really love epic romantic movies. Russian yeah but my point is is that. yeah what is it what I'm try to follow. you following me bro way I'm saying. though is we gotten so [ __ ] sensitive.

in our society right and it's like you. know I gauge it based on because I have. a lot of black friends. white dudes like you you know you delete. you know Santino I have a lot of Asian. friends and we all amongst each other. you guys say the most racist [ __ ] to me. and I laugh because it's out of pure. love Yeah right and they've been doing. that back in the day you know I mean I. bet you back in India or like South.

North South Africa when Indians were. there and all the people from Morocco. and they were they would make fun of. each other yeah they're having fun and. and it's like we cannot you know. nowadays you know you can't body shame. or nothing I think you can lightly body. shame I think here's somebody right here. as a question man and this is a young. man it listen it was he listening in or. no oh no but it's a very related okay. guy hey guys. all my groups our friends are quite.

similar to your two to yours in terms of. we we always make fun of each other we. tease each other we're very close but. there's always teasing going around but. there are a certain topics that are. off-limits for jokes. you know like dead relatives so we don't. really joke about like on ourselves so I. was kind of wondering whether your. groups of friends you know are there any. topics are off limits in terms of jokes. and yeah are they only talk is you. basically stay away from when you do. joke around thanks gang gang brother.

gang gang brother what's Gang Gang Gang. means it just means that we're together. as a group and that we are we're all. good okay good yeah thank you. yeah man first of all that guy's an. accent and I want to say this Bobby I. wanna this is on behalf of a couple of. different nations that I went to. recently. there is people that are really wanting. to see you in other countries no yeah I. was just saying I know I agree with you. Bobby I'm just saying no the number one.

person they asked for puppy I'll tell. you something right now right bro they. all wanted it bro give us Bobby yeah. but here's the thing my fear is is that. I'm gonna go you're gonna you're gonna. say go to Germany I go there three. people show up you know and then you're. gonna be laughing here in LA I don't. trust it. I need the science and the data brah. yeah I am the data bro I come I come. bearing data they want you Bobby there's.

people coming up to me in Scotland like. who do I call huh yeah call Connor yeah. Darren till call the Embassy yeah it. says one jacker where were you free. computer you'll help me out with that or. no bro they will want you I'm not joking. everybody Zack where's Bobby send him. over telling me love okay okay okay the. most requested thank you yeah yeah I'll. go back to this [ __ ] no okay yeah this. beautiful guy he's from another country.

right could be anywhere. I see here's the thing to me to me I do. yeah I don't know why I just said it. that way and that's him right there is. there a guy from a lord of the stones or. whatever what is it called lord of the. dance. no that's the dude from bleachers he's. the lead singer Lord Lord of the know uh. Harry Potter Harry no Lord of the Rings. ranks Lord of the Rings yes or the Rings. bro that's a good directly yeah Lord of.

the Ring what I want to know I'll tell. you what he wants to know cuz is. anything off limits with your friends. with our friends so here's the deal bro. mm-hmm you you know you know how was a. molested by a guy with Down syndrome. yeah there's one of my favorite things. about you honestly because I can relate. to it right but when if you could you. make fun of me with that you know I'm. open to it correct but you don't make. fun of my dead dad because he just died. right so but how long after he's dead.

can you talk about next week. hey do it next week but do you though. but do you feel like we use humor as a. way for like well there's two things I. want to talk about first of all let's. answer that let me answer the guys. question do we think that there's things. that are off-limits I think calling some. of the n-word is off-limits 100 percent. okay yeah because it's like there's. nothing funny about it and if you call a. Jewish person a money in word I think. that yeah yeah yeah but I think wigger.

is good. I think workers good some guy hit me up. on Twitter the other day yeah I think. wicker is okay I think it's okay I think. I think anything with that you can call. white people is okay yeah cracker is. okay because you guys don't have a lot. of [ __ ] things we can call you I. don't like redneck though I think it's. kind of offensive a little bit but yeah. but that's also it's not really my coat. it's not my your walk redneck yeah I. mean I'm yeah yeah yeah I mean yeah it. just never really was in that do you no. but it's not like that that you've been. the Nash five been in a show I've been.

to the South bro. they're all [ __ ] like us they're just. like a it's just like us that's the. thing nobody like the news always makes. them like everybody's all like at each. other's nobody's really like that yeah. do you know what I've been um. soul-searching you know me because um. you know I I automatically hate anybody. that likes Trump for instance like a. real hot button issue for me is it. really it used to be but I've been like. kind of stepping back at it and go you. know I don't know why people I don't.

know I've never been in their shoes I. don't know what their lives are like or. what brought them to the point where. they like the guy they might see. qualities that I'm just not aware of or. whatnot and I'm gonna accept the fact. that they're like that yeah I mean and. just you know it is what it is. that doesn't necessarily mean that. they're a bad person or that um you know. cuz a lot of them like a look and the go. Trump 20/20 but then they'll have like. they're really tender with animals yeah.

right so it's like it's not you know. it's not black and white for me now no. it's not as black and white as people. that we're thinking that that kind of. stuff is yeah it's like um I know let me. I know somebody on this wall who I think. is. gay mm-hmm okay let me look who it no no. we're not doing that right now Lisa at. that's him how do you know that but what. I'm saying is oh I know who it is dude. right right so but you know it's. somebody that doesn't want to share that.

information so and it's I don't I would. never bring it up or prod this woman. yeah you know I mean so my point is is. that any with you. bill birnes wife yeah that's it is it. yeah full blown lez Wow yeah but my. point is is that so you know. instinctually first of stephanas. daughter yeah no okay go on. no are there things that you have.

thought about making fun of me about but. you thought that I would be hurt by it. no I say those things like Oh someone. else a dude I'm gonna drop you off at. every American Legion or every like VFW. around America you know yeah and let's. see those boys finish the war you know. share ideas that I have right and for me. dude I ain't being meas right right so I. get there a joke right it's like you. know dice Andrew Dice Clay for 25 years.

he called me Ching yeah right and one. day I just a sound or like an Asian. slower you I don't know. Ching I don't think Ching is great kind. of right right but I wonder I he goes. you know my name right this is after 15. years my name is Bobby you know that. right because yeah what I thought you. but you call me Ching and he goes it's. as chi-ching your money why and so the. cycle it's fine yeah yeah so it's like I. know where people's hearts it now if.

somebody call me Ching and they were. hanging me by a rope yeah on a tree or. putting out a bunch of stuff to make a. railroad I mean Santino [ __ ] building. [ __ ] yeah yeah. Chingy are of Chingy what if it was. Chingy the rapper that'd be fine yeah. where's Chingy I'll look it up I have a. question about it we were gonna do a. segment on King in the sting where we. people sent in their tattoos and they. tell us about it and Brendan and Theo. would roast it and we want to call it. [ __ ] my. Inc I did nothing to do with race yeah.

it's like you find the chinks in my in. my ink yeah yeah it's fine it's fine. because there's no Asians there that's. what I said. yeah so did you air it like that no. there was some internal strife some. people a couple of people on the email. chain kind of put pro pro pro pro but. check it out probably check it out. the reason [ __ ] [ __ ] check it out. the reason why I feel [ __ ] yeah did. podcasts to begin with is to be free. right because the thing is is that I've.

done every aspect of show biz yeah rice. gating do you ever do you ever did show. skating did you you you know what I. [ __ ] mean by it yeah dude you spread. your fingers farther apart if you're. gonna talk to me no but my point is I've. carpal you do yeah bro I could easily. see yeah but my point is is that the. reason why I [ __ ] did a podcast is to. be utterly free yeah right and so if. we're now editing and listening to a.

board or groups of people and you can't. say this than that then we're not. exercising is all right to say whatever. we [ __ ] want to we're all right so. it's like [ __ ] that yeah [ __ ] that dude. what are you talking about again what. was the shrink in this [ __ ] [ __ ] in. the ink and we're Ching is right now. yeah Chingy yeah yeah my point is you. get what I'm saying right yeah you know. what not to do so the guide no you know. what is that Chingy right here I've. never heard of ching-he what is he. saying right right right Thur oh hes a.

qtpie home because the guy was given. directions to somebody and they just put. a beat to it I don't even know what that. Joe Weber was funny right Burks ah yeah. right. he was good man ching he's good oh yeah. maybe he's been producing he's got a. beautiful picture of his children there. yeah I don't do that's the thing I don't. I don't know much about the the rap game. yeah you know I was I grew up listening. to rock and roll and that was strictly. that so I feel shame yeah you don't the.

other day somebody says you got to. listen to the door oh but it got big. mm-hmm my tour is big yeah take mataró. take the car Tara and I listened to her. album man it was real [ __ ] hit long. good the flavor was good streets no like. I was listening tutorials big IB IG for. the first time you know ever and I loved. it yeah right and I've been listening to. like ja Rule no the guy that died that. was friends with beak Beyonce no no [ __ ].

oh I knew it is Shane Randolph. that's him dude Shane Randolph dude that. guy could throw down I think I saw him. one time um in concert not in person but. there's someone wanted to ask you about. Bobby so what's up yeah rolling in here. with this [ __ ] fake ass haircut do. that shit's kind of weak you know bro. okay you say something bro yeah of.

course you're gonna say it we would I. say just this is something I say I did. [ __ ]. yeah yeah why I did shift cuz you came. in here here's a question right here. from somebody who's obviously from the. past dude from the 17 or 18 Hunter his. brother Scott obviously oh sure he's. from the revenant bro yeah his name is. grimy gross yeah yeah do you know what. this one got show up with a boat on your. show the [ __ ] is up with that dude oh. listen what you ask them well is there.

when he's gonna come through and do a. show of the rotten apple get Bobby down. New York and be greatly appreciated keep. it up gang gang bro I will say this big. Jay oakerson has taken much better care. of I will easily say that yeah yeah dude. wouldn't you gonna go places man what is. your fear of going places they want you. in Europe you're like I don't know man. something I'm in an anthill. this guy wants you yeah [ __ ] that guys. got about a Bing guy man let's talk. about that guy look at the slips road.

they're so luscious yeah that guy's a. legend bro yeah takes care of his skin. oh if he was a woman I would eat his. [ __ ] look at that nose lips so juicy my. point is is this dude I I don't go then. I said I don't go bro where I'm not. wanted but you're wanted for bro from. one guy let me say this do. I when I was in New York for week four. months years ago yeah I play Gordo. Gotham get your there right did you buy.

a cheap calendar from some dobro four. years ago I went to Gotham you're like I. was your Foreman for George Foreman I. wanna say this and I did five shows. there mm-hmm the [ __ ] third show six. people showed up yeah right so I'm not. gonna go there humiliate myself they. want you in Ireland bar they want you in. London I brought you in Afghanistan they. want you in Qatar they want you they do. it with you in Cairo bro or how about. this friend I will go to these places.

okay but the consequences if no one. shows up is gonna be very deep for you. bro. bring it on dude no dude I'm being real. dude you're there already look you're. over there you got my haircut. just take it man see they can't ever bro. you want the studio take it man this you. know what my next one is gonna be bro. what dreadlocks a friend is it yeah do. love that I'm gonna do a dreadlock thing. you know I'm looking you black our own. oh yeah yeah I could see blacking up a.

little yeah um what's going on with the. UH with the old lady how's everything. good why you asking cuz she's beautiful. lady I just thought I would ask you as a. question when hear from somebody who. looks like they've been home alone a lot. I love in cells what up yeah I'm from. the great white north Canada gang Bob. questions for Bobby what is the most. unforgivable thing you've ever done.

okay gang gay this is gonna be good. III might get I might get um I can't say. it you get cancelled no I think this the. one unforgivable thing that I've done. there was retribution I did suffer the. consequences of it but um it's a pretty. long story but um I don't know if I can. tell it because when I told at one time. they had to cut it out you know it's. that illegal but it's it's is it like.

Brad Williams a story which. that he told on the Burton bill burr. pocket what'd he do the end of the. rainbow and nobody's old slot over he. was in with Gerald what's-his-name he's. looking a bad sleepover with uh honest. not Carlos Mencia it's not oh no no no. mines way worse bro. okay um Wow uh all right you know what. maybe I could tell it without the. details you wanted a lot without the.

details you want it or not do it you. it's on my terms bro without the details. bro I'll take it then. oh yeah that's Brad he apologized for. that what'd he do hey hello everyone I. just read it he did what is known in. some circles as the David Blaine uh-huh. yeah he's apparently he said on a. podcast he made up a story on a podcast. hitting high with Doug on getting Howard.

Doug that he had in that he had gone. into he was working on a tour Carlos. Mencia and he went in and there was a. girl who's gonna hook up with Carlos on. the bus and instead Carlos sent Brad in. and Brad went in and had sex with the. girl yeah and for like ten minutes she. didn't know that it was Brad she thought. it was Carlos she also sucked the bus. drivers off to get on the bus allegedly. did he make sure the name of the woman.

this fake woman no so how is that in. trouble well it was just people and then. Eddie IFFT goes well that's like. technically rape you know if you go in. and you have sex with somebody that. doesn't know you're gonna have sex with. them you know ah came like a stink yeah. well first of all no one's gonna believe. that story right when you be saying I. Brett I was like princess Leah and I was. in space and I was able to fly around. right when you go back and watch the. story it's I believe it's obvious to any.

viewer or listener that oh he's making. this up especially when you visually. watch it and the question was named. something crazy that happened when you. were on the road with Carlos Mencia so I. was like searching that yeah right so he. made something up because we were under. pressure yeah I've done that before oh. you can see him do it yeah you can see. and be like I don't know what. to tell and then he made up the story it. definitely seemed made up but people. like tripped on him for it really yeah. well then let me try to approach this.

story delicately okay okay. growing up I was unfuckable mm-hmm right. I was I grew up in Poway high school you. grew up in a beautiful area of San Diego. I did okay yeah but a lot of white. people women didn't want you in Vietnam. why weren't you somewhere. why weren't you closer to the [ __ ]. locust [ __ ] you dude you know why bro. it's like saying go hug to a black guy. how come you were in Nigeria I just was. born here okay I don't have no [ __ ].

toy okay. that's all right I have no [ __ ]. choice Robert no I might know if you. guys had come over for something or if. you were I was on like a foreign. exchange thing dude out my pet I was. born you know out of my mom's puss. yeah yeah right and I was it happened to. happen in Sharpe hospital in San Diego. oh yeah yeah American citizen yeah yeah. all day every day yeah that's what. that's what they do.

so growing up in that environment dude. and I was a horndog you're mean I like. to stick my dick in trees were you. really yeah I would run back against. tree out there I would come on things we. had to grow I can see that yeah like. trees and flowers and we'll get that. thing inside he that wants to get out. right and when I was in high school. there was this thing called the Sadie. Hawkins dance no one ever asked me yeah. so then I and I graduated and I just had. coffee shop jobs you're no money I could. see you with a broom in a coffee shop. yeah you know I made coffee too as well.

yeah sure after you've been there for a. couple months I can see with the broom. in the beginning yeah in the beginning. yeah yeah yeah by the end you're like. the coffee guy before you yeah so what. happened was I worked at this restaurant. oh yeah yeah as a waiter bro I started. off as a broom guy yeah and I got up. became a waiter brah. and every Wednesdays it was Tijuana. Wednesday's know what that means uh-uh.

Mexican no. no do all the waiters we take our tip. money and go to Adelita you know what a. Talitha is it's for a prostitute it's a. prostitute it's a it's a brothel in. Tijuana still exist or Aires because. they're all the time I think it does. yeah yeah yeah here's their peers. excessive poster on his wall from there. it's great of a gift shop unless people. love it there right yeah it's crazy. yeah and so well do people ever think. that do do dumb people ever think that.

you're Mexican anyway uh that's. ridiculous bro yes because I was on that. TV but which one is it it's ridiculous. or the answer is yes yes I do think I'm. next yeah easily yeah I could easily see. somebody few driving by on a truck or. something you're going to leave already. five miles and I'm like oh there's a. Mexican guy and I'll roll down my window. I go you you go Raiders and you die. right hey bro what's happening to you.

would be a good Mexican hey dude what's. happening so anywhere brah right i one. day went there with my crew my way to. crew and all this military was there so. all the women were taking up oh yeah. scary military dudes around you got a. really chill out all right [ __ ] this is. gonna be a hard story to tell man I. don't know if I can get around it I'll. try it you want to try yeah I'll tell.

you one out of one after the line though. if I say this story and you think. honestly if you think this is gonna ruin. me will you cut it out yes I will you. promise me yes. why did you roll your eyes brah I didn't. I was looking around the room really. fast right so these are things that I. don't know for a fact but in back of. Adalia there used to be an alleyway. hooker alley. oh yeah and so there were used to be. girls that were too fat to go into. Adelina oh really yeah Wow or women that.

like are virgins. oh okay newbies newbies right so there. was this crime huh right so I was. walking down hook er alley and there was. a girl what. to get a girl okay yeah yeah if you're. just wandering around [ __ ] you no no. no no I was like and when you walk down. hooker alley because I'm some of them. were really old they'll go you know.

Meester they'll grab you the gummy. string Eastern Eastern let me see the. cookie right and then you go you go. don't touch me I'm an American like that. oh damn. yeah I would do that right mister let me. see that little here yellow baby yeah. but at the end there was a little peepee. yeah there was a girl that she seems. scared yeah that's what I wanted oh why.

was it Halloween or something yeah man I. was wearing my chupacabra mask oh yeah. like that right but she seems scared. wrong damn so I picked her you did yeah. yeah because you looked up now look at. the context of it I never get laid right. this is the only way I get laid oh this. is in 1992-93 long time ago oh wow long. times a lot of people listening right. wasn't even born yet yeah a lot of. people with and this is a different time. this is a time in prostitution was king.

really alright I ride with a king right. so um I took her to this place called. Miami hotel mm-hmm it's the kind of. place you ever Moo see the movie se7en. nah is it like a double tree yeah yeah. yeah it's actually a movie about the. Double Tree bro I've stated it no no I. know sevens about Brad Pitt yeah yeah. but it's it's grimy it's got you know. it's got those you know those yellow. things that stick down the sticky stuff. to catch the flies oh yeah right and. yeah it's got all those like pine cone. air fresheners on the ceilings dangling.

down the floor was super sticky yeah. right dark and there was like a. bulletproof glass and in they go you. want a rule and you go yeah how much $10. bro $10 you get $10 you'll have a door. on it or not there's no door you know. how they get in there how many there. were did armor release up a motel bus. and you would pay as probably maybe set. $16 for the room yeah it was $2 for the. door. really yeah. the door you could bring your own door.

but it's the odds of it fitting and they. would purposely make it a different. shape a little bit like an inch off from. like a basic door you know from your. basic yeah thoroughfare template you. know yeah this is so shameful so we go. in there they give you a condom and or. they give you a condom yeah but it's. like Tijuana condom right so it's gum. right they chew gum it was just some guy. standing there like like a crossing. guard like right so then you know I um.

we go into the darkroom I stick and. how's the woman feeling is she what is. she wearing is she I don't really. remember what she's wearing I think she. was wearing like a Hello Kitty shirt you. know I mean oh well then that's I'm not. saying that that's sexually suggestive. yeah but first of all why for kids you. can't put them in something called Hello. Kitty she's not expect perverts to show. us this is not a kid meant as an adult. good good this is an adult so don't say. kid.

I didn't you in the beginning knit do. you think he it sound like he was. talking about a kid or an adult who I. think he said girl which is ambiguous. but okay. woman I'm glad only girl woman bro good. you get get me oh it's all I get. okay good okay so then I stick the. condom on then we make you know pure. love okay but then what happened was and. what stymie are you guys kind of Angry.

like stop grooving with it cool as a cat. okay any music on or in my head yeah. yeah or you know what another one is. like Ritchie Valens yeah the English. part of Feliz Navidad oh yeah yeah I. wanna wish you a Merry Christmas you. know me I don't do the Feliz Navidad. part in my head yeah yeah yeah that's a. great song by the way probably the best. Christmas tune on planet Earth. really you think that yeah because it's. for two different cultures and I like. being clean all that I like Vince Vance.

and the valiance they make over they. have a beautiful really really in it so. then you know I'm making sweet love to. her and there's so now there's a crack. in the window what is it the curtains is. closed but the moon is bright right so. it's shining through this the new year. or anything is it like this Chinese New. Year yeah right so the crack and you see. the light it hits her face and I look at. her face and she's crying oh it's not.

bubbles old thing No ah yeah so I feel. bad you know I'm a good guy right yeah. bad so I do what any good guy would do I. start power [ __ ] in yeah so cuz I. want to get it over with. oh I see so you starts more just having. sex at a higher rate is how I mean you. could say it that way nobody's ever. looked at you and be like oh yeah that. guy okay bro you seem like a guy that.

has that more like mousetrap [ __ ] like. one yeah yeah yeah Susan I just I come. real quick I put my clothes back I run. out I didn't say goodbye okay so that's. part one the second part of the story I. call God's revenge oh wow you want to. hear that you want to hear God's revenge. we do right after this commercial break. oh I hate to interrupt this episode man. I'm really enjoying my time here with a. little Robert but I got to tell you that. better help is a place that can help.

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skills they have and we're back for it. sorry I just I've never done that for. you know that so well bro what are you. doing down there why did you go down. there what to the brothel why are you in. this Bobby because the thing is is that. I can't get women back then this is way. before I did stand up. well what about Stevie is he of women oh.

no he's in sell to a friend right my. brother little brother but you know he. got more than that mom is she letting. y'all come over - even to spend time at. the house or anything like you guys. aren't even getting any kind of TLC or. anything no nothing brah nothing why. yeah dude it was hard but dude it this. is the event the second part of the. story is the event of what drove me into. doing stand-up really okay so I go back. down there do you remember her name no. bro I don't even know what's the hook. size no I don't know her name look like.

the bad guy yeah a little bit let's give. her an easy okay Stacy yeah it's a tasty. yeah so it's tasty I go to find Stacy. again two weeks later hmm so you had a. nice time I just like Stacy okay right I. thought we had a thing going I thought. you said you were she was disappointed. she was okay so what'd he do this Bob so. i go to i go i go to hooker alley and.

there's no one there huh I don't know. what happened what was it was it a. holiday you mean Martin Luther King Day. I mean was it a holiday was there any I. don't [ __ ] remember bro this is no. one there that day bro what are you. maybe was right tamale festival may go a. mile down I don't know Brock driving. three hours to Mexico you. aha well I'm in San Diego at the time oh. yes I have 20 minute drive Tiffany. doesn't stand up yet no I just said that. well age are you 21 mmm 20 21 okay but.

at the end of hooker alley is this. redheaded albino not kidding you. dwarf Hispanic kid hold on a second let. me add all these things up yeah redneck. Albine redheaded sorry redheaded albino. I wore not kidding you brought her from. a David Lynch movie bra dwarf Hispanic. albino yeah Wow anything a you as a blue.

seas Wow more than one yeah I go wow he. said a plural so I go yeah I like. [ __ ] mmm you some goop Bulls yeah. follow me so I followed this [ __ ] guy. how long do you take the following small. guys if you follow a small guy did it. takes twice as long exactly so it was. three blocks so uh seven hours well I. don't laugh stash for one block well why. don't you just tell me where to go and.

I'll get there all right you know to be. rude he goes this is my friend Raul so. we meet this other dude and he's like. six - oh yeah skinny tats - his wrist he. looks scary braum and he's wearing like. a like a weird black overcoat thing is. he spanish as well. yeah he's Mexican okay like a bull she's. he says Oh same thing you know they both. other yeah they know each other. follow me so I follow these [ __ ] guys. 12-block I'm not kidding you oh my but.

it gets to the point where there's no. more street lights huh tumbleweed. three-legged dogs walking around and I'm. now going I think I'm in trouble which I. was I was in big trouble so he sees this. gay we see this gate and it ruie so he. opens the gay and did it seem was there. any art outside was there any like thing. where it's like oh this is Leah Shepard. Fairey painting on the wall with the. [ __ ] about anything that lead you to.

believe there is women there so you see. no not very nothing. okay nothing nice so as soon as he I. walked through this alleyway the little. man just takes off running oh my god and. then I go where the [ __ ] and then by the. time that thought happens now I'm up. against a wall and this dude because. this guy put this a tall guy pushed me. against the wall and he takes out a. [ __ ] machete and he sticks against my. throat he goes give me a money so that I.

cook you know brother for sex or not no. bro okay well you're not giving us any. yeah you it's at some chance bro they're. gonna be no [ __ ] I know there's no. [ __ ] okay right so that was a red. herring so there's no fish there so the. truth is though this man wants to be a. robber that's what he is he's a criminal. oh my god so that he sticks that so I.

give him the money bro I had like 250. bucks. oh yeah Wow a lot of money back then why. I had $200 in 1995 Nick where you looked. that up please okay so the guy has you. against the wall off that knife knife so. he so he has a knife right and he pulls. the money and he sticks my wallet it. throws him it was I were distinctly. remember there's a puddle mm-hmm where. my wallet was and I'm thinking how could.

I give him the money I was gonna leave. no then he grabs my hair and he sticks. the [ __ ] machete to my throat and he. proceeds to cosplay me. nah yeah he cut your throat no right. when I feel the sharp blade like him. pushing in I hear two other voices down. this alleyway I never was that the. checks or not no there's no [ __ ] bro. okay okay it was hopeful it was plus. four hundred nineteen dollars and 39.

cents you gave the guy okay so I give. 400 right but I also work at a really. nice restaurant oh yeah it's nothing. take that out anyway. but my point is so then these two other. dudes right yeah they go and they're. with now the dwarf showed up back up. mm-hmm he was there too with these guys. and they're fighting no what are they. fighting about that you we want a piece.

of the money I heard dinero whatever. right. this is our alleyway what the [ __ ] you. doing we want some of that money and. what is it what are you thinking about. escaping like what do you know I of. course bro no I want to have tea yeah. yeah yeah no I so as soon as he the guy. releases me huh I go down I'm a little. and also back then I will you fat like. you were heard do you think I don't know. I do at that time I was skinny and fast. yeah right so I grab the wallet and I. start running in the all four of them.

start chasing after me now I'm running. like Carl Lewis through these streets. bro you pretty fast or not you're pretty. fast then then I was and also your. adrenaline and your life is at stake. dude I mean trust me dude. something came over me dude I was. zipping but they were fast as [ __ ] bro -. right and they're chasing me through a. zig zagging through all these streets. just imagine going through these corners. right running and then I see this corner. cement everywhere sometimes in Mexico. you're in weird area there's like. suddenly there's a piece of cement like.

what the FRA. right a lot of potholes yeah difficult. to run right yeah but then I see in this. corner this pink awning with a neon sign. blinking and I go that's a business. something and I run toward it and then. the Lord presented himself to me 30. black Marines walk out of this [ __ ]. bar and I run toward them I'm in America. I mean I'm an American these guys are.

trying to kill me I'm good you know I. mean that whole [ __ ] thing wrong and. then a buddy would walk you through the. border buddy Wow so two of them walked. me to the [ __ ] border dude right. number one I never went back except to. get drugs later when I relapsed but I. never went back to get [ __ ] yeah ice. that was that done for me Yeah right. and number two. maybe a year later I started to stand up. but it was the event that made me go you.

gotta do something with your life bro. right come on life it yep sometimes all. day oh yeah this kind of behavior and. this kinda this cut is not me and it's. not the lifestyle I want to live right. and so um you know a year later I was. walking down the La Jolla Comedy Store. there to help want it signed and I. knocked on it and I could can I get a. job here so in 9,000 1994 and then I. worked it for a while and then in 95 I.

did open mic so that was like a catalyst. for really kind of like just yes. sometimes you have those events that. show you okay this is what's going on. with you right now this is where you're. at. is this where you really want to be yeah. it's like yeah and you know what I'm a. human being and I make mistakes and you. know I also have a you know I'm a I've. been in and out of sobriety all my life. you know I started doing crystal. methamphetamine at twelve oh yeah right. so I've always even because of my dad's. trauma I my dad used to beat the [ __ ].

out of me mo no I'm being real like my. brother and I my mind yeah why would I. do that. he did we get here King a [ __ ] golf. club and he thought at five six seven. years old so I have all this PTSD and. trauma and then at 12 I start doing. drugs because I needed to find relief oh. definitely and then at 17 I got sober. but my point is is that you know I've. you know since I was born I've had a. rocky thing you know and luckily at 23 I.

was still sober and i am i found. stand-up and it was literally literally. three months a miracle happen i when you. were a doorman at the Comedy Store and. you were doing stand-up what they would. do is they would go on Saturday nights. if you'd or you can host either the. first or second Channel and there was. two dormant so you would choose this. time I get the first one it's like ah. great opportunity straight on stage. that's how I met Mencia that's where I. met Pauly that's how I met all these.

guys that are friends with still today. why did um did black did who's the. did Richard Pryor ever come through or. now yeah I'll tell you that in a second. but um what happened was one Saturday. night I was on stage and this is when. Prince and Princess Diana died oh yeah I. remember that right I have a good. friends as Diana story right and um I. remember um this girl crying after the. show this beautiful white girl and he.

was Jennifer just blue eyes tan and what. you do have sex with her know what I. said what I touched her back and I she. was crying and going crying he's after. the show she goes it Princess Diana dies. I don't know it's just really you know I. go oh I'm sorry for your loss well. that's it something right and then I was. sweeping up you know with the mom yeah. after the club and the manager goes hey. Lee Fred burns we used to manage club. you got phone call and it was the girl.

and she goes hey I live in Oceanside. come over and I went over there and so. granted I've never had regular girls. before right and I remember 16 her mom. was out of towners on that we 69 in her. mom's closet. oh my and I remember I remember her ass. smell the shoes too. I love being in somebody's mom's car you. can smell their [ __ ] nice high heels. and stuff in there. it wasn't a memory that was lodged into. my head okay okay but I do remember as a.

cold in there kind of that's another. another thing another experience that I. don't recall okay okay. but I remember grabbing or cheeks and. you know you 16 I'm always the bottom I. never do top yeah yeah yeah yeah because. then you have that your mouth [ __ ]. her I don't like it yeah who goes. upstairs I've ever seen that you're.

right it's always the bottom my bad. that's insane Broncos right but I. remember grabbing her cheeks yeah. and looking up at you know not the sky. but the ceiling but that God and I. remember going with a cure in my eye. yeah. and that fills up most of your eye. because I'm Asian that's true yeah. that's not racist no well people don't. think that yeah you get a tear man you. you know what I'm saying you're a third.

waterlog do you [ __ ] you're halfway. through the Titanic movie right now. right I get one I can still [ __ ] him. he'll be snowmobile alright play tennis. whatever right yeah so I was like I said. thank you God you know I mean oh by the. way with AI jokes mm-hmm can I just say. this as a side note yeah I love him you. know me it's like one time I did a photo. shoot for a magazine in the photographer. was white and he said something kind of. races into media because hey we need. more expression in your eyes I go what. the [ __ ] bro that's what I said.

there's like two things I do open and. close bro this is happy said angry and. it made everyone laugh I love I joke. yeah you know it's always your van I'll. people always call me Chinese and China. boy okay yeah yeah and mizar kind of. slanted too and one of my is that even. match the other one because you're an. old dad that's why it's genetic. something I don't know what is your. dad's come [ __ ] you up I think I mean I. don't want to think about that that's. crazy I don't think my but semen coming. out of my father I know but your dad was.

old right yeah but in it crazy that. we're all semen what you mean Dawg I'm. just saying we are all semen yeah dude I. got semen inside me is that what you. mean but that we started off as semen. that's crazy. there was other things going on with. that you know we had to go inside the. over all right there's a lot going on I. believe you got to hit that overall is. if that's if that's true that we could. just Nick nut in a you know a petri dish. and just pour warm water and maybe it'll.

grow well do you ever get nervous that. when you're ejaculating a lot of women. now will hold it and sneak off and use. it you know or they'll save it real. quick another person like a heating. environment and then get rid of it later. so I never heard of that before my life. what's going on let you so what you're. saying to me is this right I'm 69 a. woman I'm on top no nobody just let them. give you the scenario I'm on top and I'm. you know I mean that comment or do you. say mouth mm-hmm that's so crude yeah.

look at nothing he heard them. the stuff that's already been bright so. she's now yeah right she has it her. mom's on her breath you write and then. you go hey I'm gonna go pee and then and. then she spits it in a you know warm. container and then she uses as a baby. yeah and then that's amazing. well is it crazy because right here we. have an article and it says woman keeps. sperm from oral sexual encounter uses to. get pregnant man sues Wow an appeals.

court said a man can press a claim for. emotional distress after learning a. former lover had used his sperm to have. a baby. but he can't claim theft the ruling said. because the sperm were hers to keep Wow. why by the illinois appellate court. since dr. richard o phillips distressed. case back to the trial court they don't. want to deal with it they moved it back. but there's a ridiculous thing to sue. for because i would say that that's. right if you stole my toenail like clip. my nails and you i had just left them on.

the table right and then you took it. right that's yours. but what if your toenails had little use. inside of them and I took them and. created those little use how would you. feel about it like you cloned me based. you took the DNA from the toenail well. that's exactly what this lady's doing. she's taking that I think that there's. there's a way I think that like bro you. just have to be conscious like for. instance you nut in the mouth and you. look and you go I need to see you spit.

it out or swallow oh my god right now. we're all where is it went Michigan's. you said she's that where are you if you. goes mmm like that then what I do is I. go alright it achieves a spits out like. that that's mine you're right you have. to be more conscious I'm just saying. it's getting down to it right where. people are about cloning dobra okay. because some Chinese dude just got.

arrested for cloning humans we're at his. apartment I made a little apartment. right let me ask you something right if. you can clone a human bro then with the. idea of God are we creating men then or. is God creating the man gods create him. were you. here duplicate and anybody can make a. Xerox machine you know what I'm saying. like we already did that right we can. clone other stuff but only the only guy. with the real blueprint is God you know. that's good I like that that's good. because now because in my head cuz you.

know I believe in a God because of my. 12-step journey I believe in a God yeah. yeah so for me it's like I don't want. anything to interfere with it but that. was [ __ ] me out bro. the cloning really yeah yeah because. it's like if we could create things on. our own now in a whim right it takes. time but we you know we have the. technology to do it. then there is no God because we're doing. it but the things we're gonna clone are. not gonna be as high quality do you're. gonna clone some real bootleg [ __ ] you. know all right like the meat yeah you're.

gonna have like Bobby Lee right you know. you're gonna have like Bobby leek and. it's just some guy who's just walking. around and just is leaking all it's. right right this guy's wet okay like. we're there's gonna be faulty it's not. gonna fully happen you're not gonna get. the best quality yeah yeah you're gonna. get secondary meat I will say this that. the Japanese now or you can send them. your hair and they will grow a whole. crop of it and send it back to you can. you look that up Nicholas please yeah.

man this is wild when I learned about. this yeah but back in that with the. suing the woman dude that reminds me bro. check this out before we get into this. if we don't mind yeah is that [ __ ]. there was a Chinese dude that married. another Asian lady but she had plastic. surgery okay right so she looked really. pretty but genetically she was ugly oh. right so then what happened was dude. they had kids and the kids were ugly so.

he he divorced her what do you think of. that morally it breaks my heart but it's. like what else you gonna do because you. can't just get the surgery on the. children so then you have to arrive I. can't believe it's like like it was a. Diddy I wonder if he knew that she had. had plastic surgery he masada no no you. didn't know yeah he was deceived so yeah. I guess now we have to go look at. people's faces woman's yeah if we would.

have a baby dude. f'hace yeah or is that your real [ __ ]. yeah you know the real face yeah show me. the real face. yeah and I'll base it on the phone yeah. let me see that first face you see. anything that I see like here. replication here replication and stuff. but not like an article that really said. it says it all happens in Japan I'm. looking for my point though is is that. you can still do it without growing it. my point is is this what you're saying. to me is that these Japanese fools hmm. right have the technology to grow hair.

based on our hair right you can send. them a hair and they will send you back. an entire you know like a little half. acre so then what you have just your. hair next to the [ __ ] cactus trip. yeah then you get it installed in your. head oh that's oh so that's what you're. saying but we do we put in the baby's. room if you want me you can do whatever. you want with you right a certain amount. what I was gonna do with it is that just. make it like a pee rug for my [ __ ]. dog well would you would do it's. probably you would just take my hair and. then and just make yours just like mine. is exactly what you would do company.

uses patient's own cells to put an end. to baldness aging skin and tendon. degeneration I don't think that's it. so that sounds better to me better. tendons because look at Pauly Shore. mm-hmm you didn't that's his real hair I. don't know it's a tiny bit sassy. gripping he you know he got me back here. he took those out mm-hmm and then plug. them in the flow I've had that you did. that yeah did it twice when let me see. one slide two years ago and then once.

this year because I hurt months ago does. it hurt uh it doesn't feel like super. yeah yeah you know what I'm gonna do. what get my hair colored implants beard. implants okay. burns on my thighs that'd be pretty cool. dude I never thought of that so what are. you gonna get full beard put in there. but you gives it yeah because you know I. have my number I have my 60 or a look on. lockdown oh yeah definitely. so I'm 50 now right but I already know.

50 almost for two years I'll be 50 yeah. you're not 50 yet yeah but I have my 60. year old look if I make it that long on. lockdown what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna. grow my hair really long but I'm not. gonna put plugs I'm gonna have a balding. here. right but I'm gonna have a full arm. beard right I'm gonna have you know. you're right. what like a wreck I'm gonna have raccoon. eyes yeah right I'm gonna wear a poncho. or some sort of like you know how people. from Arizona wear those you know they.

have that that you know that certain. color and a stack but oh yeah turquoise. turquoise see kind of coloring right I'm. gonna kind of look like a Burning Man. kind of a guy oh yeah and I want to be. like a shaman type of look what could. see you being like a wolf boy dude I'll. tell you this you go anywhere near. [ __ ] Tennessee somebody's gonna gun. you down right with all that with all. that hair on your body but dude how. crazy to think yeah in 20 years you're. gonna be able to be like oh yeah I want. this I completely covered in hair dude. here's a picture of me right there wha. what yeah what did you do there this one.

I got fue hair transplant oh I see you. but something's going on with your. [ __ ] because here's the thing they. inject you and then it starts to come. down the injections come down your face. at a certain point and it all like. expands and gets expansive that's. crazy-looking I look I guess that's not. from your hair plug you got like Botox. in your face no when they do one of the. things that they put some of the what. when they do the fue when they do they. take your blood out and they get the.

cells out of it the white plasma and. then they inject that just in your head. and whenever they do no wait when they. do the hair transplant they have to put. like saline or something in saline. solution and that makes its way down. your face like it over time yeah that's. too like how long does that take it. takes a couple days so you can't leave. out you can it's just risky what you do. though what you just let they use just. stayed in the house I had to go to work.

I mean had to come in here and. definitely yes yeah I did a podcast. would you wear sunglasses uh no you just. full-on that face I act you look at. Benedict Cumberbatch that dude heavy on. the batch - yeah yeah it's a bad look I. look like that guy oh yeah that's the. guy from ghostbusters - bro yeah yeah. yeah wow I can't believe that even know. we had this is a clip there's a lot of. people off of getting the dress. yeah but will you give me the read some.

of the comments I want to say yesterday. this is the most unnecessary hair. surgery ever it's like a girl with. double D's getting a boob job. I like surgery that's why I get it yeah. but can you give me the number because. maybe cuz I'm gonna now for sure I'm. gonna do the beard thing for sure you. should get dimples made out of hair are. not dimples but little round little hair. I want to work again bro I want to. survive in society bro I'm not gonna do. that. bro you're gonna look like little bitty.

Chewbacca that [ __ ] deals cards at. night in Reno people I ain't gonna do it. I can do I know the confidence bro bro. you should get her put holy around each. eye but then you could go mate with a. raccoon imagine sneaking up on a rack. and they don't expect anything yeah. you're just pleasure and I think about. it don't let me think about it about it. I won't get any roles on nothing but. yeah oh you could easily get a role may. I ask you something.

cuz you've teased it when I'm sometimes. when I'm on a sitcom or whatever you. tease me upon it do you think that's a. bad look to be on a sitcom yeah yeah. because you go no be honest with me. because you know I know that that. because I know that doing podcast and. [ __ ] is cool right I get to reach my. real fans and whatnot but every month. someone I like to dress up and do do. that but there's some times when I'm on. a sitcom I feel like it's I'm not being. creative or it's kind of selling out.

there's a feeling of selling out or. something yeah I mean do you view that. or do you think it's still cool dude. because I'm gonna go to Hawaii next week. to do another magnum p.i and I love that. show love that show. God it was so good dude the old one you. liked yeah but not the new one they have. a new one anything that had a new one. yeah I'm on the new one all right you're. are you already on it I've done this is. my fourth one coming up could I see any. episodes of it yeah yeah it's online.

yeah because the second season Wow yeah. yeah look at the whole Halloween as. episode that I played Yoko Ono I know. you did yeah I would love that man you. know that appear now is a Mexican dude. no way. Jay Hernandez he's a good dude man dang. that was me that was me and Jay and we. did the the Hawaii episode brah. let me see Jay Hernandez get the fridge. could click the first one see that's Jay. oh wow yeah yeah oh yeah Latino yeah so.

he's Matt he's a good dude that's. Perdita week she's great too man but. yeah she looks beautiful but when I do. [ __ ] like that though does it. is that that's still a good rose am. barely you look nice. [ __ ] you were in Hawaii shooting that. yeah go to Hawaii again it's farm bro. but my point though is is that coming to. perform there saying oh you're gonna. love it. now you know oh yeah I've done it before. yeah I love it yeah at the Mac yeah man. you're gonna love it. I'm excited yeah it's gonna be great but.

my point is is this is that a bad look. or no I don't think so I mean I think. there's if there's fun stuff that you do. you know I mean look everybody's their. own way you know I think some people. it's hard to like be yourself and really. like I think a lot of sitcoms and stuff. like this it's a tough place for them to. write a lot of humor because the. advertising everything gets attached and. and they're so scared about offending. people or about this and that but at the. same time I think that if there's. something that you want to do to make.

yourself feel like you are being as. artistic as you can like you're saying. sometimes you want to dress up and go to. the dance sometimes you want to play in. a yard you know it's like no but. something Dubrow Pro you know my dream. is bigger than doing stand-up and. podcasts although those are my. foundations and whatnot but dude it's. you know I've been in movies before it. feels you know I I did it the O's in the. dictator and I did a scene with Ben. Kingsley mhm. and you know you're talking to a dude. like that right and it makes you feel.

you learn you know and you're also like. it's exciting you know and it feels like. you know all this hard work it feels. like it sometimes it pays off because. you're around you know really good. actors and you're like I can't believe. I'm in this situation if you and you pat. yourself on the back. why what's wrong with that nothing. nothing it's good man I think is good I. just wish they were to put you on the. billboard. the last show you were in remember they. put four White's on there and then him. put you on there. what was the Billboard for that show. what was it called home improvement it's.

called splitting up together letting up. together yeah yeah if Nick if you look. up that billboard on there yeah and. we'll see that they didn't put old Bob a. bear on there what and then after they. got a kid on there I keep my don't even. live that long dude you got a foot Bobby. I know but dude and I asked them there's. the first time I went to the producer go. hey can I be on the background yeah. and they go no it's for it's about a.

family I could just put me in the. background yeah and they go no and they. go why and I could because the whole. reason why I wanted a sitcom is to cause. other people pain I want to be on a. billboard. so my enemies can drive by oh yeah right. and they can see Oh Bobby. well yeah yeah yeah this is a whole. point of it yeah. and they wouldn't put me on that I could. put me on the Warner brother all of us. so I could cause some people some pain. dude that happened to me with Netflix I.

did a special and they put everybody. else was on a billboard that year and. mom was the only one that they didn't. put a billboard is you getting angry. yeah hurt my feelings yeah people see. here's the thing Hollywood right you. have to be conscious about it because. the thing is is that especially us bro I. will rap bro I'm gonna I'm gonna say. something right now say yeah that was at. Irvine right check this out bro and I. want to see if you could be on my side. on this okay I am on I am okay so I.

Drive to Irvine improv I sold out every. show I'm not bragging it's just the fact. right that 2500 seats right there's two. restaurants adjacent to that oh yeah. Javier's Mexican joint yep I've been. there before and there's other to Palm. Martin on whatever right. so I go to Paul the restaurant first I'm. there a little early and I go hey I know. you're busy but I just need a table for. one I'm headlining next door and I. really kind of need a table I can't wait.

an hour they go no okay yeah but come on. do it. I caused some. traffic to come in here at this because. I know half my fans eat here. yeah they go no I go to the improv I go. can you work something out. we don't know nobody is what they say. thinking we have a connection Javier. this is the worst one I go into Javier's. these two Mexican hosts dudes and. they're gonna have my head laying there. next door. do they have tattoos or anything no I. don't know they're clean ones you know.

they're not mc5 15 or whatever right. right and so they go um no and I go dude. I just won no I could be cold I thought. The Improv called they did call we don't. give a [ __ ] I know right. so now bro I'm livid I'm [ __ ] livid. right now do I have any right to be mad. or do because the thing is is that I. played that improv 20 times in my life. I've I've helped business flow into that. area not just me but all the comics yeah.

you know I mean and then so you know. maybe I maybe I'm acting like a baby. about it yeah right but do you think. that I'm in the right to be hurt and mad. about it no I don't at all man I think. you should eat over at the improv dude. because improv is good food and they can. also just bring food back to you in them. and the greenroom if you just want to. eat there I think going in there and. demanding a table for one which is. basically saying hey yeah we want a. serial killer to hang out in here for 40. minutes is one of the it just seems like.

I'm not even a good idea so you're not. on my side no you're [ __ ] [ __ ]. no I am an [ __ ] but I'm not an. [ __ ] that we'd go in there [ __ ]. demanda thing no I wasn't bro stop sound. like he's the man he stopped he didn't. do anything I know but I give me his BD. his eyes his eyes are like fish he has. nerves he is fish eyes right here man up. her nervousness yeah but my point is is. this but I didn't demand anything. I was gracious about it but you stood.

there and looked like you were upset. after they said whatever you know and. you kind of probably went like that with. your hands you know and you probably. can't even move your arms at high in the. air let's take another question for a. guest that came and we got some really. great ones that came in for you like. here's the guy right here about I can. hear you bro huh. sometimes that's fine hate me do this. what happens you can give. cut and come to my yard boy gang yeah. what up Theo what up Bobby it's a player. my name is Nick I'm from Utah and I just. wanted to ask you guys what your.

thoughts are on a wreck tile dysfunction. you know as a young guy it's kind of. hard to go through and I just wanted to. know what your guys perspective is on it. and kind of how to deal with it gang. gang sleep nation sleep king slap king. have a good one. [ __ ] it doesn't make any sense does it. Bobby [ __ ] king I'll say this brother. gang bro gang gang but you have to wake. up got something telling you dude here's. the thing have you ever dealt with the. right tile dysfunction and I'm gonna.

what do you what's really happened I. have a phenom I'm a part of a phenomenon. called porn erectile dysfunction okay. and for me dude it's like I weeded porn. out of my life really I did a nice man. for how long for the rest of my life how. long has it been out that's what I mean. since I've been sober this time so about. 60 days that's awesome man yeah so now I. have to do my imagination yeah yeah but. the thing is is that um and it's a.

phenomenon that's going on with. especially men Millennials because you. know you and I you're much younger than. I am but back in my day when if you. wanted to jerk off to pornography. especially as a kid you'd have to go to. the dirt lot mm-hmm there used to be a. rock a communal rock oh yeah and you. would lift it and it would be a hostile. magazine underneath there is this mildew. and titties missing wonderful beautiful. right and you would jerk off real quick. in the forest right and then you put it.

back in a thing right but now you. imagine kids have access to anything. that they want right so now these kids. before they even have sex of the woman. yeah they they jerk off to [ __ ] yeah. bbw bangs an oyster you're right right. right that concept outright it's in. crazy town right so my point is is that. you have to [ __ ] completely weed it. out and I think it takes about six. months to completely reset your mind. right so my advice to you is.

try not to masturbate hmm masturbate. with your imagination if you need to you. got to get it out well you don't have to. I mean you can do that nocturnal bus do. which is basically you Jack you'll out. in your sleep and a lot of people get. into that do you know I'm saying blowing. in the darkness breath you know yeah but. but like a [ __ ] trumpeter with no. electricity but you're asleep when it's. happening yeah yeah yeah so you just. wake up and there's mangu all over your.

belly yeah but that's you didn't have to. you don't have to touch yourself wrong. day that's the real David Blaine right. right so do that as well yeah there's. just another way to do it if you don't. want to jerk off all it.why right but. yet it to build up that Chi and a chi up. a little yeah that's beautiful I was a. lot longest time you [ __ ] didn't. masturbate the longest time I've ever. gone probably I would say is probably. two months it's hard bro so hard to do. me so hard to do and the hard part is. for me is if I engage with someone. texting and in anything sensual or.

somebody send me a dirty image yeah a. leg anything like that if it's been a. month six weeks if somebody even sent me. a leg you know you know if they even. send me like a pat man the moment the. [ __ ] ribbon in her hair. yeah I'll bust out bro one time Carlos. Mencia long time ago goes hey dude you. want to go to Honduras so he flew me to. Honduras but he didn't tell me where. basically you had to fly into Honduras. then take another little flight and hit. this dirt patch then take the canoe ride.

for six hours to go to his village so. where he's from yeah that's where he's. born so then I'm in this village no. electricity no running water and I have. to be there for a month and I literally. turned him ago I'm gonna go back in the. canoe and go home because no dude so I. had to eat their food no electricity you. stayed there yeah so it's like I had a. mosquito net in a [ __ ] Shack. you don't even performing no dude I was.

just there bro. and what and and I also looked at the. village there's a hundreds of female. villagers they're beautiful they're more. they're more indigenous II looking yeah. yeah yeah which they're all human beings. world yeah yeah yeah but I tell you this. right now. three weeks in I was stalking them oh. yeah because you reset your dick right. and all of a sudden like your prime you. know it's primal you know and then I. could find like parts of them that I. liked. look at that [ __ ] shoulder plane yeah.

look at those kneecaps accident levees. baby yeah bro and so I was able to so I. could probably you can always reset your. [ __ ] bro it doesn't always have to be. like barely legal or the kind of old. porn I watch old J you know old J's old. Japanese no man there's a site called. old J it's like nine year old man and. eight year old women so I used to do. that. oh that's pure that's insurance simple. it's insane but good like it's pure or.

simple man yeah. old J how I'm trying to think if you. went some old guy dude if I'm really old. I don't know at a certain point can. having sex I can danger you if it like. get your heart real hot you know but I. would rather die that way I think I. wouldn't I'd rather die chilling out. dude but on a [ __ ] couch watching. [ __ ] jeopardy yeah. you're on a couch and you go and then. you're done right but imagine right. having like being like who's that. playboy guy Hugh Hefner you have no.

right lining up nine women and then the. third one you have a heart attack. oh yeah way to go bra playing like. Russian Hewlett right yeah yeah and also. at that is no condom you don't give a. [ __ ] bro dude any age note coming who's. even are they still making condoms. that's what I want to know for all. people for people yeah they still use it. what I haven't heard and no one's even. getting anything anymore. no people look at tell that the [ __ ]. Charlie Sheen brah oh yeah yeah you got.

the hair brah but he was also basically. he was like like he was like [ __ ] he was. like having sex with like laboratories. is she like that guy yeah yeah like you. know um donkeys and the animals he go I. mean he probably got into some real dark. stuff yeah yeah that's drug induced it. drug and do is [ __ ] the iea yeah yeah. now have you ever been involved in like. drug induced homosexuality you know like. where people do enough drugs if. somebody's gay so I've done it. bro you already know you already [ __ ].

know I don't know you dude I'm thinking. if I know we're not and I don't you you. don't know that I've suck the dick. before. whoa [ __ ] no put your hand in the air. before you say that take my head forever. [ __ ] who was the guy was it a black guy. no do my my small bra yeah no here's the.

thing dude um you got that baby pocket. on your face bro. here's the cool here's the guy right now. finish it though yeah all right go ahead. no no you go let me finish what the dick. thing please do okay so back when I told. you like I couldn't get laid or whatever. as a kid right so when I was a child. right I would be at a party and some. dude would just go. it was actually one or two dudes they. would go suck my dick and they just. grabbed my hair and I'd suck their dick. anyway let's go to the tape Jesus man.

who calls it a party Asian guy huh. hey Theo hey Bobby love you guys both. just good question for you for the both. of you guys if you guys turn gay for a. day who would you hit up that's hit. hanggang I'm not gay but I like gay. people peace out dude ah Marty Tom Hardy. yeah I'm Rob Marty is tag X bro not Tom.

Arnold imagine sucking him off I'm not. sucking anybody dude I might bang the. guy I'm not blowing some dude brothers. the gayest thing ever oh let me ask you. something what would it take for you to. blow somebody I wouldn't do it for okay. so let me ask you this then okay right. Jesus came down oh Christ. okay not messing blowing cry I'm not. gonna say that okay no Jew glow Christ. it would you blow Christ nope okay good.

even if you're gonna be an attorney in. hell dude I'm not I'm not blowing. anybody so all right he's the Lord but. fine um but what if Jesus said a real. Jesus wouldn't want it it would be a. fake Jesus then right but if Jesus or. something out Jesus but some alien then. is that better for you okay like Sandra. Bernhard you mean yeah yeah sounder. Bernhardt came down right that bad at me. right and goes I will destroy all. mankind if you don't blow Eric Griffin.

no man I just couldn't I don't want my. mouth to be open by some guy's wiener. that's what I that's the part I always. the prying factor it's intrusive yeah I. just don't I don't think I'd like the. texture of it the textures [ __ ] it's. like a finger Brian uh yeah but it's. somebody else's finger that's near. they're freaking nuts right it was a.

mankind if mankind was all gonna die I. would suck whoever whoever I'd suck the. guy who is most qualified to help us. save the universe. well in America blow us up scared about. what's going on. you know yeah but I like your attitude. you've never done anything gay in your. life uh. I've never done anything gay man they. had a time well I think it dude was. trying to get me to be gay one time and.

I had to go to the airport and and we've. been doing cocaine and so I'm glad to go. to the airport man because I that's the. thing at a certain point there can be. drug induced homosexuality yeah were you. doing of drugs and next thing you know. man you get you know people can coerce. you into things can I tell you a funny. story I was uh I was living in Silver. Lake bro and you knew Mike Young is yeah. yeah so Mike Young was like 3:00 in the. morning calls me to goes dude I'm drunk. brah that's what he says oh yeah go I.

think I'm hanging up and he goes no dude. I don't know where's my car. oh yeah that's a gay pick up my cart at. your house right meanwhile you need to. have a house yeah and then the guys and. he goes uh come pick me out dude I lost. before over all that hair right so I go. no he's crying oh man right everybody. you almost bang is crying in this right.

no so I pick him up and I go all right. dude what's up he said where's your car. because I remember it's up here so he we. drop up in the hills and we pull up to. this mansion and it's Tobey Maguire's. house oh yeah right it goes hey man I. called Leo Leo and Mark Wahlberg and. Toby were Jacuzzi. right and I go yeah and he goes they. said you could come too and I go no just.

in case hmm. now I'm not acute at Dave they're. probably needy [ __ ] oh that's them. they're not gay at all but even if there. was a 1% chance that I mean this Jacuzzi. and then spider-man's dick is in my face. I would have to suck it because I want. to make it in the business. dang so I didn't I put myself out of the. situation. oh you think you're honestly party was. afraid to go I think it was I think also. um that was part of it and also I don't. want to say the wrong thing it's late. it's 4:00 in the morning now.

like I don't want to fight you're not. gonna do anything good yeah there's. nothing good that's gonna happen from it. I'm not gonna get in a movie no you're. right so I you're in a movie it's gonna. be a short movie dude assist me on. somebody's phone and it's just gonna be. you huh. yeah just holster in that spider wean. yeah. I'll probably some idiot leo off made me. would you maybe he's [ __ ] a star bra. I love once I put time in Hollywood. here's a guy right now and there's a. question that's gonna be much better. than this conversation let's take it to. it.

feel it's okay Bobby hey Bobby I would. like to if I make and I would love to. ask you a question a lot of times my. brain is telling me one thing my heart's. telling me another thing a mother a lot. of times I'm not sure which way to go. so I wanted to ask you how do you send.

to yourself when you feel overwhelmed or. lost or anxious thank you thank you very. much. god bless you both Wow it's nice guy. method yeah baby holy definitely made. that in the late night hour that's crazy. eyes yeah he's like three or four. grandfather clocks in his room so yeah. if that's a serious quiet is a serious. question you know what I've been doing. dude is uh meditating yeah and I every.

night I am and in the mornings I spent. 20 minutes and I focus on my breathing. I'm in a room you know I live in a. mansion so you know you know I mean one. of my rooms and I concentrate on my. breathing and I what I do is I breathe. in five seconds you know breathe out. five seconds breathe in five seconds and. I know that thoughts enter my brain you.

know I mean like how the [ __ ] did. conjunct in another movie or whatever. hear me or like you know if [ __ ]. crystally you know I mean but the I. chose I let those pass like clouds hmm. or I pop them like a bubble like me if. that's I got four thoughts above I pop. it right and I focus my attention on my. breathing that's how I do it and once I. do that I get locked into nothingness. not nothingness but like it's just black. yeah right and once I get in that state.

I mean a groove it really dictates how I. feel about my life and how that my gay. goes and it also makes me sleep so much. [ __ ] better dude yeah I. instantaneously sleep rather than toss. and turn for an hour. hmm right you know what dude all my. problems come from here yeah and they're. mostly your brain my Mei my mind my. brain yeah and it's also most of my. problems are not real yeah they're.

perceived I imagine things that don't. exist how what people are saying why. didn't I get that none of it [ __ ]. matters man right so it's like that's. what meditation does it calms the part. of the thing that's mostly my problem. which is this yeah. so that's what I've been trying to do as. of late you know and what practice are. you doing like is there a certain way. you're practicing is hurting my time. like what are you doing I try to do. about 20 minutes bro Wow 20 minutes a. good time you know I mean maybe a little.

longer I don't have a clock I just eats. generally about 20-25 minutes that I. last sometimes 30 you know right. sometimes shorter it depends but like it. I really do try to do it because it's. like you know that relapse I had in. August dude and I was gonna kill myself. Dane you said dang a little too quick. sorry hell in a second dang man. yeah thanks that felt more organic but. yeah I you know when my dad died I. relapsed and then you know after 17.

years you know that's a long time yeah. and then I couldn't eat sleep and I had. thoughts of suicide and were you using. weed and liquor just weed do you have. any liquor no do you wish you'd had a. beer I couldn't do it because the thing. is is that I had gotten this CBS game. show job and I did do eight episodes I. knew I was gonna drink after that and do. opiates and do all my fun Thon's. yeah loose energetics yeah but what. ended up happening was I was losing so. much weight and I wasn't sleeping and I.

started getting psychotic I started. losing my mind yeah you don't wanna yeah. so then I went to a hospital I went to a. place in Arizona for a couple of weeks. and I found out what the problem was and. the problem was the trauma that my dad. caused me as a kid Wow and so I had a. deal I didn't EMDR a lot of therapy and. I've addressed a lot of those issues and. I took the weight out of those things. and now I feel freer I think also this. time because you know in the last seven.

years of this. 17 years I was sober I didn't good you. know I rarely went to meetings Oh Riley. yeah so now what I'm doing is it's the. first thing it's the most important. thing going to meetings is going to my. therapist once a week and going to. meetings and those are things that are. gonna be ritualistic and things that I. am never gonna like you know ignore or. not do they're important. yeah more important than my podcast my. family everything because it's my life. they're puttin things first yet I'd.

rather be free and happy then make it or. get money or that it's it's [ __ ] all. of the others is [ __ ] you know bro it. doesn't make you happy oh yeah I agree. move on oh you were gonna say about. seeing Richard Pryor bring up a question. yeah oh yeah yeah you work with Richard. Pryor well I don't working with him is. not but you know when I was a doorman. it's um when I moved to Hollywood you. know he was sick but he would still do.

spots and he would come with his. wheelchair and we would both like Freddy. Soto Bob Oh Shaq we would have to lift. him up on stage put him and then like he. would have boogers on his nose and we. would wipe them like from coke no cuz he. was sick oh he's that sick yeah yeah. yeah and because he couldn't do it. himself you know I mean and we put the. mic there and it was a blessing to watch. that man cuz he was still super funny. even in that state he has another dude.

that used to come in is Carlin well I. was working the back door once the first. time George Carlin ever went there and I. was working the back door and he came up. to me I was so scared because I'm a. [ __ ] huge fan and he who came up to. me and he goes what's your name and I go. Bobby Lee. nice to meet you I'm George he did a. show he did it every year for three. years in a row and every year I'd orde. every year I'd orde there he would walk.

along by me and go mr. Lee he remembered. and those kind of guys taught me class. that's gone away from from stand-up. comedy is. class you knew who has it Sebastian yeah. yeah I mean but a lot of these younger. kids and I want to name names right now. I'm not going to there's a somebody that. made it that I helped it was interests. instrumental in that person making it a. woman a man a man or a woman or yeah.

yeah no class hmm. they bit little me at each every chance. I get and so it's like for me I'm still. gonna have you know for me I'm Korean. and I Joe Rogan's you know Joe goes to. me how come you're so distant in front. of me because I respect you and when you. come to the Comedy Store you have a. thousand comics or surround you right. I get why but I'm gonna step back. because I don't want to be intrusive.

because I respect you and you're the. you're them one of the kings of the game. right and he respected that yeah it's. class right so I learned from the all. those old Fox man yeah right so that's. that do you feel like you've I mean. there's you've had issues at the Comedy. Store recently right you've mentioned. this ones on your podcast I've had. issues yeah yeah what's going on what do. you mean what's going on you don't want. to be at the Comedy Store I don't want.

to be the Comedy Store because um the. Comedy Store used to be a place where if. you put your time in you got treated. right like the man right but now it's. Fame that dictates it and whoever is hot. and there's people that are get spots. every single night they don't have to. necessarily even call in mm-hmm. right that that's now the name of the.

game right so dudes that have been there. like you know like me I get spots right. but I don't get every single night and. I'll get some some of these hat fools. get to shows yeah a night right and so. it's been a place it's also a place not. to grow it's because you see you're. there it's sold out you're you're. performing with heavy weights right how. the [ __ ] do you try new [ __ ] yeah. I can't it's hard because I can't I have.

to survive because when you're in the. audience now has I in this last year. I've seen Francis Ford Coppola in the. audience I've seen Quentin Tarantino in. the audience I've seen the biggest. people in the game just sitting on is. what I'm gonna do my first Tenten in. mind for ten minute new [ __ ] yeah no I'm. gonna kill it. so that I can maybe get in you know I. mean in your life yeah so you can play a. nunchuck and Kill Bill three let's go to. a question right here in Moore Bobby.

what up the oh I got a question for. Bobby fourth-grade my best friend was. Korean his parents his grandma I living. I'm straight from Korea mmm barely spoke. any English his grandmother's speak any. English damn and every time I came over. to sleepover all they would do is order. Papa John's and then for breakfast in. the morning she would microwave the Papa. John's like not even throw it in the.

oven microwave pieces especially Papa. John's crazy so my question is do you. guys microwave your pizzas after or you. throw that [ __ ] in the oven or at a. toaster oven or is that just a Korean. thing all right gang gang gang bruh. what's up with the Marines bruh. drop that k knowledge on your boy cuz we. want to know you [ __ ] brother. y'all over there slipping and sliding. not taking the shortcuts brought you. guys a chef's shortcut so what we yeah. yeah really those are the first of all.

number one those are ghetto Koreans okay. okay GK is they call them yeah we there. was a GK's for sure okay okay number two. Koreans came especially my family came. from poverty hmm my parents my mother um. when she was 8 years old when she walked. her little sister's school a military. truck military truck ran my on over and. those n trailed over the street so.

there's no ambulance so um my uncle's. had to pick up my dead aunt. put him in rice bags so this is this is. the light this is the. yeah so this is this is the experience. that they come from that's why they. microwave their [ __ ] Papa John's who. gives a [ __ ]. number two who gives a [ __ ] right and. number two let me say this friend. alright is is that you know what my mom. you said that's evil I'll tell you even. something worse if you didn't finish. your cereal it right you have frosted.

flakes you put the milk in right. you ate the cereal but you're full hmm. right you leave it mm-hmm you go to. school the next morning guess what's. back in the box the soggy the soggy. [ __ ] cereal flakes and you had to eat. it or you get beep amen brother [ __ ] you. and the Papa Papa a man is you have. another question no no wow how long does. this go for Matt's it man I think we've. done enough - I thought that question.

was gonna make it more lighthearted well. no I like it when it goes in and out how. long did we do our 45 yeah that's a lot. man that was awesome. Bobby Lee I love you man I love you well. you know I love you I wish you would do. a show together sometime man bro not. only that I don't want to be real. there's a lot of heads bro sometimes. some of these fools they get successful. mm-hmm and I get it why I think.

sometimes I'll be honest you know but. all the good [ __ ] that's happened to you. bro you you are so resilient and your. voice is so original I am so [ __ ]. proud of you dude you're so funny dude. you're so funny you're so intrinsically. funny and I just my hats off to your. brother I love you bro I love you too. man I appreciate that yeah man you're a. good guy Bobby Lee ladies and gentlemen.

and we'll see in the future man check. out Bobby's new podcast ginger ginger. what is it. bad friends with Andrew Santino. [Music].

[Music]. little town for me to sell that parking. brake and let myself.

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