Bird Neckin | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #387
happy to be alive. that's how i feel that's how i try to. feel. most of the time. i just try to remind myself hey man. happy happy to be alive. you. know when i get to open my eyes it's. like okay. they want me back you know. that's how i feel a lot of times like. in the morning when i open my eyes it's. like all right.
god wants me back you know or. they want to you know. they want to run it back okay. i made it you know. i think that's how i feel in the morning. when i open my eyes. like. okay. they. got called up again. um. what's going on happy day to you. uh.
i got that big hair today baby um. i can feel it i feel because i knew when. i parked. and walked into the um. uh building. that i saw a bird look at me. i saw a bird. because birds move their neck and it's. so quiet you know it just it's so severe. and quiet. a bird can't slowly move its neck.
you notice that. a bird is like has to be either at like. twelve o'clock nine o'clock. three o'clock. 11 15. but a bird can't just slowly migrate. like 11 15 11 16 11 17 11 a bird can't. slowly move its neck. but anyway i saw a bird look at my head.
and i knew it was thinking. it was like a you know having nest. thoughts. i just felt that bird looked i knew it. was thinking oh damn look at that fella. that boy's got a damn hampton in on his. neck. that's what he when he saw this big hair. he's thinking all that boy. that fella's got a fair field in in. sweets. that i'd like to sleep in i could just. feel that bird looking at me and that's. when you know you got big hair.
that's when you know that i got that. teepee today i got that wig one my [ __ ]. is native american i got that. literally that wig. and i'm having reservations. i'm always having reservations. um. but yeah i wake up and i'm like oh right. when i wake up. i'm like all right. life must want me back. and it's the same for you guys man life. wants you back.
life wants you here today. you know life life. god the the powers the deities. of the universe made a choice and they. said yes to you. today. and that's. that's beautiful. you know. that is um. that's a welcome mat.
you know when you open your eyes that's. a welcome mat. from the gods really. it's exactly what that is baby. gang baby praise god. and uh. yeah let's get into it. [Music]. come on. [Music].
[Music]. mountain. set me free. [Music]. just don't say. enjoy goodbye destination. [Music].
and the sea. [Music]. painting on the. [Music]. wall it's never too late. to come over. time slips away from you and me now.
all right i don't know that audio felt. low to me a little but maybe it's uh. could have been just me. um that is come over by stevie starlight. and if you're not familiar with that. little dang uh. the cinnamon bear of the universe that. is stevie starlight then go get you a. dose. go have go have uh go have mother nature. cut you up a grandma stevie starlight. baby and put that in your snout a lot i. snout a luffa son.
you'll be on yesamy street bro in no. time dawg. there's um. he's a beautiful listen and a beautiful. man stevie starlight. what's going on um. a lot. you know it's uh it's been a. there's a couple things i can tell you. about um. you know i've had. i had uh. i had oh i want to tell you actually.
that. we have some new tour dates coming i do. want to announce them because i'm. excited. um. uh return of the rat is heading to. albuquerque new mexico. we will be there may 18th. midland texas may 19. lubbock. texas. may 20. and dallas. texas may 21 right there beautiful.
also savannah georgia we want to come. and see you and see how you're doing and. take your temperature. do that rectal momentum. that's june 2nd savannah ga augusta. ga june 3rd. june 4 montgomery. alabama. and june 5 columbus georgia. so there you go some beautiful choices. um excited to be going to those places. and uh.
you can get tickets at theovon.com. t-o-u-r. and those will be on sale um for our. patreon on tuesday april 5th at 10 a.m. local. uh we have a small patreon but we are. very grateful uh to them for their. support over the years um. and then the artist pre-sale that goes. on sale on a wednesday april 6th at 10. a.m local time.
and that is rat king. and so very grateful to you guys uh for. supporting. me. and then the general on sale will be. friday april 8th at 10 a.m local time so. wednesday april 2 you can start to get. them on rat king. will be the code. and i'm i'm excited about that man. i'm excited. you know it feel the world feels weird. right now. it feel. and i might be the only one i don't know.
but to me something feels. it feels. i don't know. it feels disjointed some. you know it feels like uh. and i don't know if it's the world or if. it's just like our society. or if it's just america even. you know but things just feel. strange out there.
you know is it just me or does it every. everything has a little bit of a. halloween edge i feel like. uh. like stores some stores they don't have. anybody even their work you know they're. like. you know stores don't have employees. we're understaffed. you know you get through your chipotle. and you get to the end of the line and. it's like they hired some. person who's. never even worked before. like has had you know and they're. they're just stan they don't even know.
what to do. they're just standing there just eating. guacamole they have no idea. you ask them anything they kind of go. they get scared like there's like a. vampire seeing sunlight you know. they're just some i mean there's just. some. i don't know what's going on in the. world yeah i guess the. they say the workforce something is. going on there's not a lot of workforce. um. let me look that up so i'm not just is.
there a. workforce. shortage there we. go in 2021 more than 47 million workers. quit their jobs. [Music]. many of whom were in search of improved. work-life balance and flexibility. increased compensation and a strong. company culture. huh. yeah and i don't know how factual this. is you know this could be. this is u.s chamber of commerce so we. have no idea if it's legitimate or not.
but. i do notice you go play but i i walked. into a store the other day and the guy. it was like a little grocery store. and the guy asked me to work. for like 30 minutes he's like do you can. you just help out for like three i'm. like dude i'm just trying to get some. limes bro i'm just here for. i needed two limes and uh i'm like bro i. just trying to get some limes i mean i. used to work check out you know i used. to do.
i mean i know bananas code is 4011. but um. but. i'm here for a lump i'm not here to work. you know like that's how strange it's. getting that they're just if you're even. in a place. they're asking you to work it feels like. which is exciting i mean at least it's. great and i and you know i guess i'm. lucky that i don't have to take that. that you know 30 minutes i don't need. that employment at that half hour mark. but um.
but damn it's just. it feels like the wild. i don't feel like the wild west. ah. and then where is everybody. that's another thing. you're like if nobody's working. where is what's going on. i don't know. and then you start thinking are people. bots are you running into bots.
you know i watch people when they get in. their car a lot of times if they're. leaving me because. that's when i figure a bot. would have the toughest time. because there's a lot of little. intricacies when you get into a vehicle. and i don't think a bot could do that. real easily. you know you could easily see a bot like. oh i like the sunglasses you know. but. if you're running into like a bot human.
i think if you watch them get in their. car they would have to really do it good. i'm happy i'm. it's tuesday you know so i don't know i. it's just getting everything feels. strange out there. and it feels kind of lawless. you know it feels lawless it feels like. the. you know people are just running red. lights it doesn't you know it's like. [ __ ] i'm running red light i mean i'm. running stops it's just like people are. doing what they want that's what it.
feels like it feels like people are just. doing what they want. um. and i don't know maybe that's just. and it could just be my area. you know. um. but we have like the police live in fear. they're afraid it feels like to do their. jobs. uh. i don't know a lot of fear out there. a lot of fear out there um. and i'm sure you know that i'm not.
trying to be a downer. just kind of saying i guess what's been. happening um. or just things i've been thinking about. what else dude i went to the. i went with david spade over to the. oscars uh after parties. and that was interesting. you know and [ __ ] oscars man you know. yeah you know i don't like all of that. [ __ ]. you know i don't like hollywood. or much of it. and um. but.
getting to go with him and stuff like. that was real interesting. and i was overhead at his house we. watched the oscars at uh at david's home. and. they had the cr you know the chris rock. got hit. and i was thinking about that. and. i think there was. so many people have talked about it. right that and that's. that is what it is. but. i think there was like a um.
there was like a moment where. part of the anger. was that here you have somebody who's. just saying something right chris rock. now i get he's jabbing at the guy's wife. i get that. um but also he's a comedian. he should be able to do that. or he should be able to take his risks. and i felt like it was a calculated risk. it felt super safe. um. but there was something about how.
you saw. a guy walk up because he didn't like. what somebody else said. or for whatever reason it's hard to. really know the reason that will smith. had in his head. people said all kind of stuff he was. gaying out or he was gayed out. people said his wife was. you know they have a. um. you know they. do uh. foster cocking or whatever or when.
people can make love to your wife you. know foster cox i don't know what it is. they do foster [ __ ]. uh. or [ __ ] fostering i don't know what it. is i don't i'm i'm not going to look it. up either because i have a blocker on my. computer but um. yeah so they said uh so anyway but there. was a guy who said something and then. you saw somebody. a rich guy on another rich guy. come and hit him.
and then get an award for it. and it just kind of felt like this is. what it this was the this is where i. ended up really feeling the most anger. at the end of it all. was it was just really towards hollywood. towards the oscars towards the whole. [ __ ] machine of all that [ __ ]. it was like hey. we if somebody can hit somebody else. they can do whatever they want. they could say this man can speak or not.
speed. so. and we'll we'll give that guy an award. and then. this is the craziest part. all of hollywood will stand there and. applaud the guy. as if the. the. the [ __ ] up thing he did didn't even. happen. and it was kind of like a microcosm i. think of everything that's been going on. you know.
um. so many people feel like their reality. is neglected by hollywood. that uh. since hollywood owns a lot of the media. and and mainstream media that they just. uh. they just. that they're so powerful that if they. want to act like something didn't happen. they can just brush right over it. which they do all the time pick and. choose what they think.
um. [Music]. or when they think something is. important or what they think is. important. uh. so i think there was a lot of that in. there for me. and i hope chris rock sues the oscars i. would sue the oscars i would sue. everybody in that [ __ ] you know. um. that's what i would do. because yeah they just that that's what. it was for me it was like. here's this powerful machine saying once. again.
oh we determine how. if the way you see things is real or not. almost. or we think we determine it. because we all saw somebody hit somebody. and then. get an award then give an insane speech. and get a standing ovation it was like. they were trying to make us believe that. it didn't happen.
in a way. which goes along with the whole pandemic. thing there's that all of that ties in. there. like oh you're gonna make me. you're really trying to bend me out of. the fact that reality is happening. so anyway that's kind of where some of. that landed for me. and maybe that's obtuse kind of. but maybe it's not dude i'm just here. for limes.
okay i'm just i walked in here for two. limes and now i'm an assistant manager. that's what's going on. um. what else what else is happening. i know that chris rockshit is old news. and uh. and it was wild because spade took me to. like a fancy party. you know he took me to a fancy party. dude everybody was in that [ __ ]. kardashians [ __ ] uh. um. kevin bacon's was in there everybody was.
in that leonardo uh. dicaprio and da vinci. both of them were i mean they had seance. in one room they had damn spirits coming. out of the back christopher columbus was. in that [ __ ]. everybody was in there. um kobe i think kobe showed up for a. half hour. it was uh. they were that's how fancy it was. they were recollecting people.
and they were showing up. you know ed asner was in that [ __ ] who. else. um. i don't even know anybody else fam i. think i saw jesus over there by the uh. getting some watermelon punch i mean it. was they had everybody in there. you know or a lot of fancy names that's. who they had in there um. but that was just fun kind of just to. see how the other half lives you know. uh. i mean hollywood really scares me and.
and it has for a while just because they. you know once you work for people you're. not allowed to have a lot of your own. thoughts. um. and i and and i think we all feel. there's a lot of fear out there for that. kind of stuff. is am i allowed to really. express what i really feel. or really am thinking. um. when these powerful companies and. machines they just.
they'll try to manipulate stuff or just. gloss over things that seem very real. just to have things the way that they. believe they should be. anyway. i'm kind of rambling man. what else i went out to interview sugar. shawn out there and. he's a ufc guy fighter guy. and uh did that out in phoenix. and he's a real villain of the ufc kind.
of in a weird way. you know he have that villainous side. he's the. he's like this. i don't want to say he's like a carnival. snake kind of he's not a. no he just like he's so fast. he's like uh. [Music]. i don't know i can't tell if he. sometimes if he's trolling things or if. he's just being himself you know and. he's just. he's very open you know he's in an open.
relationship he's very open about. exactly what he thinks and feels um. he's a pretty fascinating guy to be. around and and uh. so i was grateful to get to go over. there and hang out with him and just. spend some time with him um. [Music]. what else is going on. uh. what's going on with me um. you know i've been honestly feeling like. a lot of fear recently in my own life.
uh. just uncertainty. you know i've been having such a tough. time making decisions. even just the smallest ones. it's like. man i'll just i'm just so afraid. something inside of me is so afraid to. decide. and i don't know if it's i'm afraid that. i'll make the wrong choice. um. [Music]. as much as it is maybe there's just part.
of me that's just afraid to. commit. i don't know. i'm just kind of thinking about that. if it's one or the other you know. am i afraid to commit or am i just. afraid to decide. if i'm afraid of making the wrong choice. or am i afraid of committing.
it's interesting how those because those. two things are really big and different. but both of those are parts of. making a decision. um. so i've been struggling with that a lot. you know i've been feeling kind of a. little bit unsafe and uncertain in the. world. and so maybe that also adds to the fact. of uh. of. me feeling like the world is all over.
the place. um. [Music]. and some of that i think you know i'm. still off my i'm still not taking. antidepressants so i'm still trying to. uh. to stay off of them. you know and i'm gonna i guess just keep. seeing how that can work or not um. you know i'm in contact with doctors and. and that sort of thing and therap and. doing therapy but i'm just you know i'm. trying to be brave in that instance. because i don't want i just i really.
don't want to go back on them. you know i finally got this lid of these. medicine lit this medicine hat. off of my head and so. so much more feelings and thoughts could. come out. and. i think part of me has really been. enjoying. [Music]. getting some of that out of my system. you know just getting whatever that. turmoil is that dirty bubble.
that. it's like a sick chowder that's just. been sitting on a. in a damn um. crock pot. and y'all just want to empty that [ __ ]. out. because it affects how my cafeteria. smells you know what i'm saying. it affects how the rat because if you. know. if i can get that the gunk out of the. engines. if i can get the uh. the nastiness.
if i can get whatever's stuck in that s. drain or whatever it's called or p curve. or whatever. and shout out to all my plumbers out. there but if i can get. the s trap or whatever it is. then i can. i can feel like i'll have a smoother. flow inside of me um. and that's been that whole journey with. the ayahuasca and the staying off. antidepressants and. uh. we'll talk about more of it. i want to tell you also though right now.
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what else is happening. what's happening with you guys. what's happening with you. you know it's funny sometimes i sit and. i think about. you actually i i think about. you. listening to this. and. and who you are. i just one i just want you to know that.
i think about that sometimes i think. well. i'm saying stuff and it's leaving out. here and it's going into someone's ears. into someone's time. and that's important to me. you know uh. yeah i want to just say thank you. and. and i'll try to do a. a better job.
or as good of a job as i can of valuing. the fact that. you spend your time you. you know you let me up in the mirror. holes you know what i'm saying player. you know what i'm saying no i'm a dog. but. you know what i'm saying i'm in both. those [ __ ] right now baby we got a. gang bang going on your brain son right. now. whoo. somebody better put a condom on these. words baby because we [ __ ] getting in. there on both sides of it.
uh no i just want to say thank you that. that means something to me you know that. i think about you. you know i want to. we had actually we had a call come in. you know. we had this call come in which i thought. was nice. let's hear this here. hey melissa that's melissa from utah. right there and good to hear from you.
you sound like a woman you sound good. uh i was just listening to your. brotherly love podcast and you were. talking about autism and. um i have a 15 year old son that has. autism. kind of non-verbal but when he was. diagnosed about. 14 years ago. what you were talking about is what kind. of pulled me through his diagnosis it. was like. i came to this conclusion that.
he had skills that were needed for the. future our technology has gone so far so. fast. and his brain was so fast oh yeah. you got that computer baby darling you. know. you get that little digital toddler baby. or adult toddler now onward. and intelligent and i was like. you know these are the kids that our. future is going to need to carry us. through. um so.
i just want to thank you for that. it was amazing thank you so much for. confirming that like what i thought 15. years ago. some other people are kind of thinking. now oh you're welcome. yeah i don't know why i i i just yeah. i'm glad that you have uh. that you have your son. and i'm glad that you um. obviously have a commitment to raising. him. and.
and to being uh a part of his life and. to finding ways to see him. that make. um. that make y'all's relationship. as important and. um. as valuable as it can be to you. [Music]. yeah i think it's. i think literally in the. you know. in a hundred years it's going to be 11.
people with autism battling a computer. to. see if humanity. carries on. i could easily see that. and it's all yeah. and an amazon. van shows up and drops off the web. whatever weapons they're gonna use. and um. and that'll be it. you know a referee will there even be a. referee there probably will. probably somebody from new york hoboken.
or something. you know some guy. or from you know. you know. uh. some you know some um. maybe a boat captain or somebody like. that somebody who's a little gruff you. know who's gonna call it like it is. you know who's just gonna. you know who's gonna take some smoke. breaks though also you're gonna need. that ref that's not afraid to [ __ ]. sit out there and puff it out. um. but thank you thank you for calling in. and and uh.
and thank you for being a mother. we need them out. there um. what else you guys had some calls about. things that are going on in my life as. well. uh here's one that came in. as always the hotline is. 985-664-9503 i feel a lot of anxiety. right now about. what to communicate with you guys. um. [Music]. because it's you know there's been a lot.
kind of. just in my head and in my heart and so. it's tough to know. how to get it out and do it in an. organized fashion um. all right let's take this call. what's up theo it's gavin from ritarco. um. new mexico what's up gavin and good to. see you man from rioto. and i never heard of that spot baby but. i'm glad y'all are uh. [ __ ] i don't know where that is baby. onward. so that is i had a question about doing.
the ayahuasca i've done a dmt and is. there anything close to it you know gmt. only lasts a couple minutes when you. freaking. fly through crazy tunnels and meet. different people like there's always a. guy with a backwards hat in mind and. i don't know it's weird been a handful. of times um. it's a it's pretty delightful you come. out of it you just want to hug people. and feel so good you feel like you know. there's actually an after after life. like going through that i just wanted to. know the similarities with it because. it's kind of the same thing. um. thank you for the question there i.
appreciate it. and um. you know my experience dmt was very much. like somebody. kicked you like beat you in the head. with a uh dave and busters. that's what it's like. it was like two angry gay dudes attacked. you at a. ga at a dave and busters. because you're seeing all these crazy. shapes there's a lot of rainbows there's. some bears there's some stuff that look.
like a orifice or whatever. it has a very kind of a. booty carnival. type of. dirty. magnificent. um colorful. it's like somebody. it's like. god hit you with a mirror but he hits. you hard and he hits you fast. and the cops showed up. and all that you know and the cops are. from heaven and hell and it all happened.
in a matter of minutes. that to me was dmt. a lot of that. and you end up [ __ ] sitting there. talking to like an oyster or something. just some [ __ ] that you're like i don't. know what this is you know they got a. koala over there and he's puffing. winston's bruh he's doing his best. you know when he's out of work probably. you know sure chipotle is trying to hire. him. to work next to that vamp kid who can't. handle the freaking.
oh you ask him one question he's like oh. you don't know. i don't know i need to sleep. um. that was dmt for me man dmt was like uh. somebody took a pinball machine. and buried you in it. they opened the glass up and put you in. there and the game is still going on. there's still somebody hitting the. paddles the balls are scooting around. and it's multiball somebody accessed a. multi-ball so they're all and then. you're just laying and they put the.
glass back on. and you're laying in there. face down. that to me is dmt that's what dmt was. like. it's a couple minutes you come out of it. you're in maui. the guy who's doing it with you you met. at a smoothie stand you know he's a good. guy. he gave you some magnesium. you know it's uh it is what it is. ayahuasca is. ayahuasca is like a key i think.
it's like an invitation. you take it. you sit there. you're meditating. there's no party about it there's. nothing like uh. we're gonna do this in a back room at a. party that's not. now you can still do it in a back room. but. it's more of a experience.
and it's a longer experience. and it's really. you start to learn about yourself. you learn some truths about yourself. you know i was sitting there and i mean. people are like did you go to peru did. you go to you know. myanmar or whatever. like dude i did that [ __ ] right off the. 101 bruh. i did that i was i was probably.
180 yards from a popeye's. chicken. you know in a dsw shoes dude i could see. there were moments in some of my visions. and stuff that somebody who you know. you know walk by with a damn pair of. birkenstocks on so. i was. you know i wasn't out in the abyss but. the environment i was in was really nice. uh in the sense that it was it had a. great shaman and great people doing it. and i'm sitting in there and you take.
the medics you take the medicines and. it's almost like your heart starts to. dream. or. think. and it's really wild because you start. to get thoughts that come out of your. it's almost like they come out of the. time. that's trapped. of you. it's like your heart gets a brain.
um. you know i remember. sitting there and uh. and you just start to go it's like. it's like a best friend shows up. and starts to share stuff with you that. you're willing to hear. because you um. usually because you've been suffering. with something. you know. oh.
and so it starts to kind of unearth some. of that. and you go through the different. experiences and you're like man that was. a lot you know i learned a lot of stuff. about myself. it's like therapy but you don't have to. do a lot of the heavy lifting. i mean it's like the goddess you know. the. like god brings the wood right up to you. you know the fire well you don't have to. go out and chop. you just open the door and it's all. firewood you can't even see the world.
it's just. all your firewood is right there. and the gu and god has chopped it for. you. and so you could it's just so at that. point it's really an invitation it's. like how much do you want to know. that's what it feels like to me. how much do you want to know. my last experience man i went and. you know i'd really been struggling with. a lot of stuff about my mother uh and my. relationship with my mother.
and my inability to have a connection. with my mother a deep connection. you know i've always wanted it. and um. and so i'm sitting there under the. ayahuasca and. and i've always struggled in. relationships commitment. i've really always struggled. and. while i'm under this ayahuasca while i'm. in the experience of the medication. i realize that the reason i have trouble. getting into a relationship or being.
committed. well there's two reasons one. is that part of me is still waiting for. this relationship with my mother to. really. um. come through. there's part of me that's still like. this young kid that's still just. standing there waiting. for his mother. to really. connect with him. um. and so it's really hard for me.
to make another commitment to another. woman it's really hard for me. uh. and i didn't know it was because there's. a part of me that's still just literally. standing there waiting. and that sounds kind of crazy but. when you're under the medication it. makes a lot of sense. because it really activates the inner. child in. you and you really get to see what the.
very young you the formative you what he. what he or she went through. um. and you see why they went through it and. how it affected them and then how that. affects you now. it's almost like as an adult you're a. plant. but on ayahuasca you get to go back to. the seed. and you get to look in the seed.
and the seed gets to communicate the. seed communicates with you. the you the you the early you the. formative you um. but so it's a lot different in that. sense you really get to sit there and. and. and be with a lot of the things that. have made you uncomfortable but now. you're able to see okay this is why i. behave this way as an adult. because this happened when i was young. and you always can kind of.
in therapy sometimes you'll talk about. those things but to really have a real. connection between them and to really. feel that connection is pretty powerful. uh. and also. it's a it's a. it's an invitation in a way because. ayahuasca is an invitation. because it's really how much of that. stuff do you want to learn and go into. because it feels like there's a lot of. it. my second experience i sat there for.
probably. oh i can't even tell you. i mean just tons of time you just cry i. mean i was just grieving just crying. i was grieving like um. you know when i was 12 or 10 my brother. he got to go live with my grandparents. and. that sounds like a small thing but. that broke my heart. it broke my heart as a kid. that my mother let him go.
it bro i mean it really. because he was the closest thing that i. felt to uh to love you know or to a real. friend or something and. [Music]. and here was my mother and she let him. go. just do what he wanted like he was an. adult it just was. and that [ __ ] broke my heart man so. but there's a lot of things inside of. you that you've been resilient through. and but you're able to go and look at. those things and let.
kind of let the air out of some of those. balloons you know. it's like your soul gets to fart kinda. you know you're able to go and unpack a. lot of these things that really could. have really. and and probably had a big effect on. your life and how you behave now. so anyway it's tough because it's hard. for me to go into some of that. you know a lot of it's real painful i. went and spoke with my mom. after the holidays about uh.
you know about some about. a lot of the feelings i was having. and i you know and about how much i felt. neglected really and. and it was hard man i'm glad i was able. to give myself a voice but it was it was. it was tough. because it was also a long time ago you. know and. um and so you don't want to damage the. person you're talking to or upset you.
know you don't but you do want to share. what's going on. uh and what you're feeling and learning. um. so that's ayahuasca man if you want. ayahuasca you're gonna go down a real. or you could go down. you know a real. rabbit hole. a real invitation to say okay how much. because you can keep going and doing it. and that's where i'm at now i don't know. if i want to go back sometimes.
right now. uh. i mean the the the. the last time i went man it was it was. cathartic. but it was damn painful man. it was painful it was cathartic in the. way you sit there and you know. you. [Music]. you cry for the things that you get. those tears all the [ __ ] that's in you. get it out. you get it out you cook it right up out.
of your system. um. but it's a lot of work i mean it is it's. the hardest thing i've ever had to do. it's like i i. you know i would imagine it's like boot. camp or something but for your. for your heart and for your. soul and stuff so. um. i don't know if that does a good job of. explaining it but that's some of the. differences i noticed between them one. of them is a real.
one of them is like going to a carnival. and the other one is like. going to. it's like going into an ocean. so. that's my thoughts on the difference. between i think dmt and ayahuasca is. ayahuasca can really.
it can re i mean dmt shows you that. you know dmt's are kind of like a. firework kind of but ayahuasca is a damn. [ __ ]. jesus. it's a fire. it's a fire man. um. what else do we have that came in. you know you can always hit the hotline. 985-664-9503. um.
you know i want to unpack a little bit. more of the relationship between myself. and my mother and that sort of thing i. just don't know if i'm. if i'm. in a space to share some of that uh. and how you know i just i want to be. make sure that i'm well about it before. i kind of share it sometimes to be fair. to myself. um what else we got in here. uh oh i was talking about a wife hunt. and that wife hunt baby yeah you know i.
would like to have a family i would like. to have a wife. and get me a wife you know. and nothing illegal or nothing i ain't. them. you know ain't kidnapping nobody or. nothing like that. but i would like to have me a real wife. so. i gotta start thinking about that. um. and now you could k i wouldn't kidnap a. woman ever but you could if you wanted. to you know set a butterscotch out there.
on a concrete or something on the. sidewalk and then she come by and get it. a lady get it. and she's eating that [ __ ] and you you. hit you know. you go over there and you know maybe. give her a little massage or something. if she's okay with it you massage her. scalp or something. you know get that vibe going. because that scalp baby you can massage. a woman's head baby that's the that's. really the that's the. the that's the major tit. is a woman's scalp bro. the right the the front tit some [ __ ].
are just. those are [ __ ] um. those are just some red herrings baby. those aren't the real deal that master. tit is you feeling a woman's scalp bro. that's one thing you learn. you start massaging or scratching a. woman's head a little damn baby. that's that master tit son. that thing is the real leader. them other things they're just quartz. but the real leader dog is that head. that's that master tit that thing's got.
a lot of feeling in it. but then front them little front bunnies. baby them little sippers. those little a cup hitters or whatever d. cups whatever they have those things are. [ __ ]. that's just that's tricking you. the master tit is that head. praise god. all right i want to let you know that uh. it can be hard sometimes to see the. light at the end of the tunnel. it really can you know that especially. if you're in a tunnel.
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don't forget to use our url to let them. know we sent you. loan amounts will be determined based on. your credit income and certain other. information provided in your loan. application go to. upstart.com. t-h-e-o. look when you sell something to someone. it's it's hectic. you got to do you got to do this you got. to buy you got to do this and that you. got to make sure it gets here you go to. the uh post office it's a nightmare you. know all of that hectic.
well. ship station can help. since online shopping is all we do now. basically ship station. will make sure that you never have to. worry about getting your orders or your. shipping wrong again. they handle all your needs affordably. and painlessly. they manage every order from amazon to. ebay to etsy. on your or on your website. from anywhere and you can even do it. from your phone they have a beautiful um.
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hi theo. um i wanted to ask just i guess out of. curiosity um. you've been open recently about wanting. to settle down and. wanting something more serious. so i was just wondering if you had any. deal breakers like if you had any like. for example. uh do you have like a restriction on an. aged gap like if somebody let's say was. around. 25 years old.
and. was interested in going out with you or. something like that. do you have like a immediate like red. flag like a restriction like with age. gaps or anything like that like would. you not go out with somebody. um. with. more of an age gap. like greater than 10 years or something. okay i see what you're saying uh. ramifications that's what you're saying. um you know i made a list a while back i. met a lady on a plane and she said make.
a list of what you want in a. a wife and a uh. straight woman. and. man i wish i had it on me today i don't. have it with me i'll bring it in next. time. um. but yeah i don't do i have an age gap i. would probably say you know you want to. be age appropriate so probably. 25 and up. i think. you know i mean. look my dad mom my dad was 38 years.
older than my mother. so. so damn i could see a toddler right now. and lit and be like hey i'm just. trying to gauge their personality you. know uh. but. so i want to be age appropriate i think. or whatever i don't know you don't know. what love is but. sometimes you do so i'd say probably. over 25 for sure. um. what else.
hair. um. smart. um. [Music]. loving i would say somebody that likes. to you know. hug and. be. loving. um. somebody that's going to be a good. mother. that really is key i want my children to. have a good mother. even if. you know i would hope that things will.
work out between me and my wife but. i want my children to have the best. mother that they can. um. [Music]. yeah that is really important to me so. it's funny sometimes i notice when i'm. looking for a wife that [ __ ] got me a. little bent up. when i'm looking for a wife uh. or when i'm looking for a you know. looking for attractions i'm not out. there like you know sharpening a sword.
that says wife on it and [ __ ] like that. but you know. when i am. thinking about dating or looking at. women or spending my time. i. my main thought really is. is this woman going to be a good mother. i think i mean i have i have obviously. other some attraction things you know. i would like both eyes i don't care that. much but i would love it. um. i would like a woman who likes to stay.
uh athlete you know stay busy get some. sweat going. um those things are just good for life. you know uh. and a woman is understanding because. [ __ ] you know me boy if you listen to. this podcast you know i need a lot of. understanding. so those are a couple of things i'll. bring my list in. um. and. but those are a couple things that i. think about. you know i look in a woman's eyes a lot. of times.
and you can see. and when i look at their eyes i think if. i was a child would i like looking at. that woman's eyes. and that. uh. i know that my wife will have that i may. sound crazy to some people but. the childhood i had didn't have that. comfort in it. i didn't have that comfort when i. you know from my mother from her look. and so i want my child to have that.
and. so that's one thing that i kind of look. for i think. so yeah somebody with no eyes probably. or. that. you know doesn't have like a. warmth in them. um probably may not be the best fit for. me you know i know. that's something that i need or. something i would like we'll see what. god wants you know but that's something. that i would like. um. what else. oh we had another call here uh that came.
in i know this episode's all over the. place but the truth is i've been all. over the place. um. you know i'm still really working to try. and feel better to feel well. uh i felt uncertain a lot of times and. um. you know there's days where i want to do. the podcast but i can't because i don't. feel. i don't feel well. if i'm real honest and i want to you. know. put my best foot forward.
and sometimes it's hard you know. everything's hard i'm not complaining. but i'm just saying. um. it feels sometimes. i don't know it feels. this world this today it doesn't feel. sometimes like it wants you that much. i don't know if that's a crazy statement. i'm not trying to sound cryptic or. anything like that.
um. and it could just be american society it. could just be la because i've been out. here for 10 days. so that could also be it. and honestly i bet that has a lot to do. with it um. yeah a couple calls came in you know we. had rushed on the topic of uh. of is it okay to have your brother teach. you masturbation. to teach you that touchy touchy that one. hand touch you know what i'm saying. that seek and go seek you know what i'm.
saying. that uh. that singular freeze tag you know i'm. saying you're rich you're rich you're. rich you know what's going on baby. yakking off yakking off yakking off. yaking. yakking off. i think it'd be funny if when people. said jack and if they had to close their. eyes when they said it. look man i want to be. i want to be honest with you guys i've. been. jacking off. okay. i just don't want there to be any lies. here and i want you to know that i have.
been. jacking off. all right. because i think if you had to do that. less people would do it. or what about this if you jerked off the. next day you had to keep your your eyes. would just close for no reason a lot of. times. that those are little governors i wish. god had put in the system. if you jerked off your eyes with clothes. for no reason for about a half hour the.
next day or you know here and there for. 20 minutes you're just talking to. somebody about the baseball game dude. the blue jays wow crushed it huh yeah. tiger sucked this year and then suddenly. you're just in the dark dude you're just. standing here at lunch. everybody's like what ha what's going on. man and you can't open your eyes and. he's like oh. you've been jacking off haven't you. or if you jacked off then the next day. you had to do thumbs up all day. so people knew i just wish there was a.
little bit more something built in our. system um. but i've been jacking off man i'll be. real honest with you dude or. jacking off as people say with their. eyes closed. i've been doing jacking off and i wish i. hadn't. you know i got caught up in it yesterday. and. i was looking at some pornography man uh. just felt horrid and i just don't like. it it makes me feel horrible about. it just makes me feel like bad.
the [ __ ] is cringe kinda. you know it's cringe. it's dirty. and i just. i don't know sometimes i get home at. night i'm alone. and i feel uncomfortable. and i want to feel good so. what helps you do that jacking off. but that's okay man you know i've been. hitting a few meetings recently. that's been.
good you know trying to take care of. myself. which is all we can do. and if that's what you're doing. i've been jacking off. um all right we had a cold people call. though about is it okay for your brother. to teach you masturbation you know we. had a fella calling a few weeks ago that. his brother. had taught him how to do it. had taught him how to work that wand you. know what i'm saying had taught him how. to hog that wart baby had taught him how. to adore that griffin you know what i'm. talking about full slytherin.
this fellow's brother had taught him how. to jerk off jerikov. but uh. and is that okay and i thought it was. interesting because it takes me to a. tribal place. where. at least if your brother or father. teaches you to masturbate then at least. it feels like it's a. it's okay it's normalized. whereas if you're secretly doing it. behind a big rock in the desert or. something or. you know if your cousin comes over and.
he's you know. uh. and and he leaves a nudie mag out or. something. and then you doing it you're jerking off. you know then that's that you know. that might not be good or if you learn. it from like a crazy guy at school you. know somebody sneaks into the. schoolhouse one day. you know during. recess. and t you know and just tells everybody. about jerking off and then runs out. you know and you know and dies in a. house fire or something.
that ain't cool. you know because then you might feel. ashamed every time somebody lights a. match you might. you know. you know skeet out a little. you know or bet your penis might belch a. little or burp a little seed. but anyway man what i'm telling you is. that people responded to that to the. brother masturbation is that okay let's. hear what they had to say here we go. bro this is to your question this is. tristan what's up tristan good to hear. you dude and it's uh you sound like a.
nice guy brother and we're happy you're. alive baby onward uh this is your to. your question about. if your brother should ever teach you to. masturbate and i say. hell nah bro. hell nah. okay. well you might not be uh. you yeah everybody's allowed to have an. opinion and i don't know i don't know. what the world thinks. i think that's outrageous.
oh come on bro but i do appreciate you. gang baby same man. all right let's uh let's get another one. right here here we go. hi theo. i am just calling in because i was. listening to your episode about brothers. teaching each other to jerk off. okay it was not a full episode madam it. was a part it's a conversation. and it's a great conversation. you know it's really important who do.
you want teaching your son to jerk off. huh. it's a great question do you want their. brother someone who loves them and cares. about them. and has an effect on them and has a a a. a. a way that they look up to them to teach. them or do you want some miscreant out. there at the milk shop huh. you want some guy who's just been. working at the grocery for a half hour. you want that guy teaching your kid to. man you don't say who do you want. teaching them.
who do you want. you want one of his school buddy you. want a little eric you want eric. teaching him. eric's little crazy ass huh. who don't wear no shoelaces in his boots. you want him teaching them. onward. and i think you need a little female. perspective. so not only is it the brother's. responsibility to teach the brother i. think it's the sister's responsibility. to teach the sister.
that's how it went in my family i'm not. going to get into details because i know. there's a lot of creeps that listen to. this podcast yes there are. but. it goes for the women too. gang gang baby. that thang thang you know so look i'm. saying this stuff is more popular than. you think obviously. here we had one more call about it here. we go. theo no. and there you go that's that lady was. really adamant about it man that's.
really really adamant about it all right. lastly we had an advice that came in for. tyrell tyrell had this question last. week hey siobhan this is uh ty rouse i'm. uh. just driving home back to california and. i was listening to your podcast thought. i'd get some uh some stuff off my chest. you know i've been single for quite some. time now i've been having sex in the. last. i don't know two years and i i just need. some some advice man on.
how do i. get back in the game how do i you know. get my. my willy wet if you will and. i think it's kind of a it's a simple. question honestly tyrell and um. and we have a couple of questions a. couple of options for you. theo yo this is uh gatlin whitney out of. salt lake city utah. gatlin baby and that's a gun name. you know that. we used to have twins bus out there in.
folsom louisiana named bow and arrow i. remember. and that's weapon. that's weaponry. gang gang brother um i was calling about. that the guy from last week on end. saying he wasn't getting any ladies. and i kind of had that same issue for a. while and what i figured out is what you. got to do is get down to the gym. it's going to run about 10.99 such a. convenience fee but what you're going to. do you're going to get real comfortable. in that gym you're going to work on the. body but not only that you're going to.
see all them fancy females there. and then you start making small talk oh. how long are you going to work on this. machine can i use it after you can you. come grab me when. and then they're familiar with you they. become friends with you you start. talking two months goes by and you. between them shoot knock and poop damn. there you go. friends [ __ ] each other and i hate to. say that out loud but it's true and it's. been true for a long time. let's take one more suggestion here uh. for uh tyrell.
what up tio i got some advice for your. boy tyrell about his uh. his drought. boy needs to just keep swiping right. you know i had a wise man once say if. you're ever going through a crowd with. the women. you just throw down the first ugly one. that's down and that's smashed the. streak there you go you could try to. hook up yeah with a lady that you're not. attracted to you know maybe. it just might start that energy going. you know um obviously you want to treat.
her well and you know be. just be realistic with her you know just. let her know it's for sex only or you. know that you're just not you know. because sometimes you don't want to get. somebody hopes up if you can keep them. down if you can keep somebody's hopes. down. i mean [ __ ] my shoulders hurt from. keeping my hopes up baby i know that. they are so were. um. all right. i appreciate you guys man. i want to say thank you for being a part. of uh.
just of my life and week and in my time. and for caring about my life um. and caring about the lives of people. that call into this show. and if you're out there struggling with. something you're going through a tough. time like. it's normal. everybody is. you know. i mean. even though sometimes i wake up and that. you know life's that gay life's chosen. you again you know it's tough.
it's tough to say all right i'm gonna. play you know i'm gonna move i'm gonna. get going again i'm gonna give it. another shot. but you can do it. you know um. you can do it. and we don't give up. that's what we don't do and uh. and just if you're going through. something man i love you you know a. woman i love you and. and you love you too.
you love you too don't forget that. there's a part of you inside of you that. absolutely. loves you. that loves you. there is a part of you inside of you. that absolutely. loves. you. and that's true. and i believe that. um. [Music].
and there's a part of me inside of me. that absolutely loves me. and i. i gotta try and live hear that voice. more. um. because that's a powerful voice. but you guys be good to yourselves man. you deserve it and uh. and thank you for hitting the hotline. 985-664-9503.
i'm excited about the new tour dates. thank you so much for your for your uh. for your support and um. you know what it is let's go out like we. came in baby gang. gang. [Music].
higher than a mountain. set me free. just don't say goodbye. [Music]. it's you and me.
this is stevie starlight guys. [Music]. [Applause]. it's never too late. to come over. time slips away.
so don't hesitate to come over. why. all right and i always awkwardly close. that out um. gang baby you guys be good to yourselves.
we got the new bobble heads if you want. to grab them they're available out there. theovon uh store. tickets get them only at theovonn.com. t-o-u-r. want to make sure you don't get swindled. and um. and that's it. you know that's it for this week. uh we're doing our best you're doing. your best. and that is a lot sometimes that is and. that is enough. and um. you guys be good to yourself baby gang.
