Bill Burr | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #231

I am man I'm nervous actually. today's guest is my favorite comedian. living my favorite living comedian and. so I'm excited that he's here he has a. new special Netflix called. paper tiger and and he has a podcast. called the Monday morning podcast and it. also comes out sometimes on Thursdays. he's one of a kind ladies and gentlemen. mr. bill Bern. [Music].

[Music]. yeah you'll see you just get to [ __ ] you. gotta like once you once you yeah you. know it's like no no no no no no no no. no and then all of a sudden nose become. yes out here and then then you just feel.

like you know the first time you get yes. is you go okay to everything and then. then all of a sudden you just don't have. any [ __ ] time and then you've got to. like dial it back and then try to find. like quality but yeah that's I just had. to I just took some did some dates off. of the books I was I got a bunch of. stress man I was starting to lose my. mind I thought oh yeah no that's it. affects everybody differently so I just. yeah I just there's a good thing to is. just lying just say you're not available. that week I'm not in town. oh I already had him so yeah take him.

down oh that G I wouldn't put that on. the podcast yeah they know they all know. yeah I still wouldn't do that. Oh cuz you don't know you don't need. Booker's looking at that this guy's. always a [ __ ] wild card yeah it was. uh. man it was a bummer it was some of it. was a bummer but some of we just moved. the dates and I'll just feel better when. I get there but I was but I was just. like experienced like a ton of stress. man burnt out you know I've been on the. same tour for this hour for almost over. a year now. dude bands tour for like four years and. then [ __ ] go right back in the studio.

make another one and keep going you got. a toughen up man yeah you're right huh. yeah what do I do have a slosh hat. looking like a [ __ ] backwoods guy all. tough and [ __ ] you can't handle doing. your hour again and may come on man suck. it up welcome and I think I need some. blood transfusions and I don't know what. he'll but it's not bad if there's the. other side to where you're getting run. down and you don't listen to it and then. you get sick so there's always that will. work yourself to death which I've seen a. few people doing this business literally.

died yeah so there's definitely you know. why you're in touch with your feelings. that's that's good yeah man I got too. many of them I think if you beat me open. I'll just a lot of feelings sometimes. would come out too many you know I think. I'm less somehow I got caught up in some. of that feeling generation you know oh. just too many feelings what year were. you born ninety uh eighty eighty. nineteen eighty. nineteen eighty so oh yeah you're the. first millennial the first year of.

millenials was like nineteen eighty or. something like that I could see that. yeah I thought they were all like you'd. be born like 2,000 or later but I meant. like you a bi and [ __ ] I think that's. all I care about. you know when well when do you finally. have money that you can buy [ __ ] and. it's usually around eighteen I think so. you would have been 90 maybe it's 82 I. don't [ __ ]. I think it's late yeah 80 I think was. still a little bit of like there was. still more like some you know heavy car. doors I remember a lot of that you know.

the car was ever squeak and real heavy. you had to get your brother to help you. close it you know I remember more. station wagons big violent [ __ ]. station wagons Oh wagons are awesome I. love I love a station wagon I remember. the motor opening the car and just. seeing two pieces under there you know. that thing with the UM will you put the. air filter in and my mom would open that. and go like this and then close it back. up man your filter yeah air filter. housing I guess you care about your. carburetor come on I'm gonna open that. up and close it and then just [ __ ].

curse my dad that was it every time oh I. think she was probably [ __ ] with the. carburetor yeah I think she was trying. too long got an old cop car for a while. and that was pretty cool and we would. drive around at night and pretend to be. cops and [ __ ] it would be like a fun. thing we would do when we were kids and. it had one of those lights on the side. you know it had like that little hand. light out of the window oh yeah yeah. this is you're supposed to take some of. that [ __ ] I know you know little Matt. Dodge diplomat you got to take the. badges off of some of the [ __ ] I know. you can't have like police on the side.

and then I also don't think you can have. the blue lights and in my state I think. you couldn't you couldn't have those big. searchlights either because they were. afraid you were gonna turn him on and. blind other people as they were driving. down the street there's new but people. would just be [ __ ] yeah if they did. I had a buddy my bought an old uh. Massachusetts State Trooper bike and it. still had the blue lights on it it was. funny he just thought it was the lenses. so he changed out the lenses and he. didn't realize that the bulbs were also. blue so we're gonna take it apart I. think he actually left him on for a. motorcycle yeah yeah I never had a.

motorcycle man would we have we had some. four-wheelers we had things that we just. kind of people put together we had a guy. when I lived in Tucson they had a guy. had a school bus he cut the top off of. it and would drive it around a full like. convertible was it the full-size one. oh yeah now did it have an option. especially in Arizona we could maybe you. know here we see the Jeeps they have. like those tarp things you can put on. the top so the doors are off and all. that so you get the wind in your face. but you don't roast I would think you'd.

want that in Arizona sometimes he would. put like a tarp over it at night and. stuff I think during like maybe I guess. the spring or something but I think. otherwise it was just just one option. open you know it is crew at any point. can I promote that I have a special out. here yeah that's streaming now on. Netflix called paper tiger tiger that's. right it was beautiful was it awesome to. shoot at the what's the name of the. place others Royal Albert Hall yeah I. loved how it was amazing.

yeah because if you know even if I. didn't know you know some of the people. that have played that the second you. walked in there you would know that some. heavy hitters had been there so it was. pretty intimidating the first time I did. one show a year like about nine months. before I did that one that's was like. yeah let's shoot one here and then I the. first show that I did that was really in. my head a lot where I was just like so. you went to kind of not not run the hour. you want to just get a feel for the. venue first kind I just wanted to do he. was doing it and then when I did it then.

the idea came about maybe do a special. here and then I talked to Mike binder. about it ya know binder yeah yeah and he. you know we smoked cigars so he's just. like he kind of did it I think as he. wanted to smoke a cigar with me in. London but just as funny as that is and. that's how we ended up going over there. but I've since watched all these videos. that I I'm kind of glad I didn't know. all these extra I just knew Zeppelin was. there that was my big thing that people. had the Beatles played there I even saw. I think George Michael they were doing a. thing for a while aids or saw no for.

Lynne Linda McCartney yeah she lost her. arm right no she died yeah yeah she died. she lost it all oh yeah so they were. doing a thing and he came out and sang. like a Beale song and then sang one of. his songs are just like [ __ ] crushed. and I was just like I'm glad I didn't. watch that before because I made you. nervous yeah. it Lord yes sir then it makes you feel. like alright okay he's doing that and. Zeppelin's doing that and then I'm gonna. come in here with a bunch of dick and. [ __ ] jokes yeah and I took a tour the.

place years and years and years ago and. I saw like the London Philharmonic was. there oh yeah. so playing all classical music so yeah I. definitely felt crass being there the. first time but then the second time the. pressure the special I gotta have a good. set you can kind of [ __ ] all that. history let me just go out make sure I. have a good time here so fortunately it. worked out and I think binder the way. you shot it put it over the top yeah. yeah some of the shots from the rear and. stuff but you can just see it looks like. you're performing like almost a just an. infinite amount of people at somebody. yeah it's not as big as you would think.

but it's very it's it's big but it's. like really intimate it's like the sound. is perfect it's yeah man it's it's. something else I'll say that Susan my. oil again has been there remember her. who else no Paul I bet they've had it. seem like it has it plays been around. for a couple of hundred years since the. mid 1800s oh Jesus. yeah some guy it was probably the Prince. Albert now Prince Albert dude I love how. you just [ __ ] reach in for [ __ ] hits. a couple thousand years it's better.

right Napoleon that's an old guy well. Prince Albert I believe it's Albert. Winston Churchill I'm sure he did. something there. he probably smoked a stick talk about. [ __ ] about the Germans yeah I know a lot. of people a lot of people played there. so historic that's what it looked like. yes yes so I had to make sure when we. shot it that we just didn't do that you. know the wham-bam way that they shoot so. many specials which I have avoided my. whole career because I've always tried. to work with people that really you know.

wanted to make something great right not. just you know do the typical shots I. worked with Jake Harris oh my laughs my. plan is three you told me about him he's. great yeah yeah and he's like a Pryor. fan and that that shot that he thought. that single shot that you see that he. does in the my previous three specials. from the crowd is a nod to Richard Pryor. live on the Sunset Strip it's literally. a shot just for directors and if any. sort of like Pryor fanatics would know.

would catch it yeah so I've always done. that because I have. liked specials were shot for a long long. time almost my whole career like they. would just you know and they look. similar they look bad they look there's. nothing that captures the who the comic. is at all a lot of times the audio on. the audience yeah he's so bad it's like. why even have it oh the worst is when. they put a whole bunch of him when they. would be doing a whole bunch of them.

yeah and a group and they just would. crank out ten of them and then they. would be taking crowd shots from. somebody else's set it was just so gross. the whole thing was gross and just not. it was just all for cat for money the. whole thing which is oh these are cheap. to do get the comedian out there he's. already written you know if the penny. writers he's already written it he's the. performer Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam. you know and then taking advantage of. you well I mean I I would it's they. apply a very efficient model that's.

that's how that's how they look at it. yeah yeah thinking about how we think of. it no and you don't think I didn't think. of it at the first special I did I was I. didn't know I didn't know now it's like. okay I know I want directors that I know. care about me that want to make. something great and I want to have more. control over it and I know I can put an. audience in myself I don't have to spend. half the budget paying some lady to get. you know to guarantee a see I got all. the details on that I got burned a. couple times yeah like they somehow.

figure out what your budget is yeah you. could have $8 or 80 million dollars in. their budgets gonna come in like two. cents below we can shoot this special. for $7.99 and then they find out you. have it you know not like you get eight. million but say you had eight mil a B. like yeah we did once what he wants it's. gonna be seven point nine nine nine nine. [ __ ] million dollars and it's just. like yeah the probably chips are out. it's weird it's gross though no way that. it was it. I stand up with such a weird thing where. it's totally respected and completely.

disrespected it has this thing that. where it's just like when you meet. people aren't comedians so many people. say oh my god I can't believe you got. the balls to do that I would never do. that but whenever they show a comedian. it's always the worst like hey this guy. knows and I'm talking about like a. lampshade on the head and we're just. this loud obnoxious on offstage just oh. my. get this guy the [ __ ] away from me is. kind of how they do it which I know. because y'all so plain for laughs but I. don't know I don't know so I just you. know I've always tried to work with. people that love it and want to try and.

make something great because you know if. you get somebody that knows what they're. doing they can they can actually help. the performance or it can go the other. way they can take something great and. make it not so good that's why I think. acting is so difficult cuz you just saw. with the mercy of so many things right. like you're not gonna edit it you can't. do the pacing what kind of music when. are they gonna cut out of this. especially like a comedy and [ __ ] it's. just like it's real scary I feel like. that's one reason is well I think acting. is real scary to me cuz I really kind of.

I guess I kind of treasure the things. that I do do comedic ly and so I just. don't want to leave him at the at the. whims of some other you know some guy. who's been up for four just say you. treasure what you do like literally your. ass you're worried that's some big. Hollywood director ma you can't take. your comedic skills and say what the. [ __ ] somebody else wrote don't treasure. your acts so much know that what you're. trying to tell way that I present it man. the way that I present it if I give. somebody something if I do something. funny it's like yeah I'm gonna leave it.

up to some [ __ ] that I feel like. doesn't know how to best this dude is. gonna be such a nightmare when he makes. it I'll I treasure these jokes how dare. you this this what do they call it this. is this is vulgar it is vulgar that is. Howard they tell ya but I think I have. like a thing yeah it's like I don't like. I have a tough time working I just think. I have a tough time working with other. people sometimes you know which is one. of the reasons why I got into comedy. anyway you know artistically I would say.

get over that yeah get over yourself and. get over that because there's a lot of. great people in this business and you're. gonna miss out and I don't know know. what you'll say your loved ones will. save money on the funeral costs because. no one's gonna go so it's not gonna be. too many [ __ ] snacks they got to put. together yeah I guess yeah I don't know. I have a stuff just I have such a tough. time I think working with other people. man which is one of the reasons why I. just do stand-up you know it's like.

that's the thing that I focus on mostly. and park. because you get to do it yourself you. know yeah I would get as at me so I. would try to get over whatever social. thing that that is yeah yeah dude if you. just by yourself all the time you're. slowly gonna go crow you start to go. crazy yeah yeah well everybody's got a. little bit of uh you know they got a. little bit of overgrowth on that root or. on that wallet you know and so sometimes. you got to tidy up the hair and your.

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now that you want to go to a video. question yeah let's do it yeah let's do. it. Gang Gang what's up deal. what's up player I got a question for. mr. Bert is this. we said another interview that he's. close to a year sober I was wondering if. you had any tips for recovering addicts. this question is coming all the way from. Newfoundland Canada I'm recently 38 days.

clean dang header just added a facility. hook a brother up let me know hook a. brother up bill you a boy right there ah. well I'm not an addict. right I'm an idiot right so um I've. discovered with myself that if it's in. the house I'm gonna consume it right. I've said this in a number sugar liquor. whatever yeah if this if there's a. package of cookies I'm gonna eat it and. I'm not just gonna take two yeah and do. that moderate I'm gonna eat the whole.

[ __ ] sleeve I do that with vanilla. creams yeah yeah M&Ms ice cream or booze. cigars so I can't have if I don't have. that [ __ ] in the house yeah I'm fine. because the cravings usually come at. night and then at night you just like I. drank it in the [ __ ] car to go down. and get whatever the hell I want so. that's how it works for me so this guy I. mean this guy just went to a facility 38. I mean that guy's like you know he's. that's like I'm playing touch football. this guy's in the pros so I'm not gonna. try to give him advice I am happy that.

that's what he's doing but uh you feel. different after a year sober like do you. notice anything different if not. drinking for a year or like yeah my. cigar smoking went off the [ __ ] rails. yeah cuz then it just becomes like this. is what there's a thing that I'm trying. to work past right now that I've noticed. that through all of this [ __ ] that I've. done through just food booze and you. know cigars is every couple of days you.

know or maybe even like once a day even. just like through food like I want some. sort of ramping up some sort of buzz. what an escalation yeah right and you. can do that through just going to. McDonald's people who are like obese and. [ __ ] like that that's their [ __ ]. thing yeah you can do anything I mean do. this in the I'll be honest with you this. is me relating to fat people there's. nothing better than giving into McDonald. oh my god it's the worst afterwards but. when you're in the [ __ ] drive-through. and you're pulling up like I am getting. every [ __ ] thing that I want here and.

it's still gonna be under ten bucks and. it's just gonna grease Lisa sighs I mean. they give you that [ __ ] book and you. get the fresh French fries not the ones. that will lay in there I mean it's just. like and the Latinos make the best fries. too if you notice whoever's in the. window whenever you're driving by dude. if it's a Latino and their fries are. better 85 percent of the time really and. that's not my notice but I will say this. sometimes I talk to the person in the. window to make myself feel a little bit. better about the purchase do you ever do. that like to kind of take the edge off. of the fact that I know I have all shame.

and the worst part is when I'm driving. home is the grease and salt mixture on. my steering wheel oh yeah from the front. it's like oh good yeah next day you wake. up with the distended belly no it kind. of doesn't at first and you think you. got away with it and then somewhere in. the afternoon it just creeps in oh I. don't have that yet yeah oh yeah oh you. don't well that's good that's good I've. had it something to look forward to but. no I think there's yeah there's. definitely some of there's like a thing. it like there's a certain thing in the. evening that happens to me where it's. like I need to do something.

it could be booze it could be cigarettes. like when I could drink and I had. cigarettes I started smoke a cigarette. but it's always something pornography. dov chocolates dark chocolates yeah you. gotta find like you know what fascinates. me is like basically the first 16 or 17. years of my life when I never took a. couple sips might you know stole a beer. here for there for my dad but I never. really went out and tried to get drunk. it tells like 16 or 17 but I went for. like a decade and a half like I was. straightedge you know what I mean and.

then but the thing was you told kid you. were straightedge you like I don't know. no good no just thought of being a kid. it's not like you first ten years of. your life is like [ __ ] playground man I. need a drink it's just not where your. world is that and the thing was it's. Pandora's box then once you catch a buzz. then it's just like oh man this is this. other kind of living and it's it's you. know I I yeah I didn't understand I was. kind of using that as like yeah I'm not. saying I'm never gonna [ __ ] drink. again but I didn't I had I had to like I.

kind of just had to like step back and. just be like Oh cousin you know the. reality is I got a kid so I just didn't. want to be that I'm like you know it's. wrong clean your heads around my [ __ ]. Lou Grant with a bottle of whiskey and. the. remember that. Mary Tyler Moore Show she'd have a rough. day and she'd come in and I remember the. whole show I can explain it to you yeah. if I could explain it I don't know what. that is all right I don't know I don't. know and the second I started to explain. like I don't know the whole show all. right I get it I get it I believe that. comic a DD like I don't want even.

[ __ ] I'm not into it I don't hear I. got it your show go ahead continue I. remember uh all right let's talk about. all chose then we don't have to I just. was so funny how you [ __ ] you bailed. twice on that you Mattie Duke what it. made me feel like an [ __ ] like that. was the fit every time I [ __ ] brought. it up sorry. no Mary Tyler Moore one of the great. ensemble [ __ ] cast of all time I do. know she does died recently yeah I mean. I was gonna bring up a more positive. story about the show but yeah it's the.

second time I bring up the [ __ ]. George Michael was in an AIDS event huh. some sort of gay thing well I didn't say. gay bro why you say AIDS cuz he had AIDS. man no he didn't did he I Jesus now he's. dead well people have been saying he did. I think you are confusing it with gay no. I'm not I didn't know he was gay I knew. that apparently got AIDS in a park. that's what I heard and oh he blew a guy. in a porta potti and got busted for lewd. activity oh and then you know he you.

know had a little [ __ ] you know he. liked getting a little buzz at the end. of the [ __ ] day and maybe it got away. from I think that's what happened but. like what I would like to focus on was. how amazing his voice was and I'll. talented he was and I played this. performed and stood in the same spot. that this guy did yeah that's what the. point was not what he died of. yeah oh wait a minute and I wished it. was what happened in your life who'd you. lose early on you're really into death. well no I mean I remember Liz I want to. get to know Mary Tyler Moore cuz you're. afraid she's gonna leave you too.

I remember listening to Michael on the. school bus when I go to school and I. felt like and I would always sit by. myself like you were gonna catch aids. no doing that some sort of airborne HIV. through the [ __ ] radio I mean bro I. was holding it up to my ear and a. roofless school bus. wind-borne radio AIDS was going to get. me you think it's interesting that they. can like they can stop it but they can't.

cure it and all those comics that have. done bits about how basically the the. money is in the treatment not in the. cure yeah and they kind of learned that. with polio because it seems like they. cured it but they're not gonna 100% cure. it because they want you to keep coming. back for the drug and get people on yeah. which you know probably [ __ ] with the. liver what seem like that with. everything I mean it's like how they how. some things are continued to be allowed. to like you know like even with our like. with automobiles like they can sure they.

have something that would be you know. four years whether it would just be so. much less gas but they just give you. like one little piece every five years. source it's so [ __ ] stupid it's so. short-sighted all of that [ __ ] that has. happening is the number one [ __ ] thing. the number one thing as we're sitting. there focusing on like these stupid like. my new show words pronouns bathrooms. yeah it's like guys none of this is. gonna [ __ ] exist this is gonna be. like a Mad Max movie if you know you.

know and just watching these politicians. that their hands a [ __ ] bound they. get paid such little money there so [ __ ]. job this so is and they're bought and. paid for it's great I think these should. have like I'm trying to have like. empathy for politicians as opposed to. just all the screaming and yelling and. then just oh you know anyway are the red. ties the one of fun or the blue tie. people they [ __ ] it all up you know. well you got you got it I think I think. there has to be something like I guess.

individual citizens if yeah I think the. best way if you want to try to get. something going is try to start. something with your friends because if. you try to go through all of that [ __ ]. in DC like they always said if you. become president if you're lucky you get. one thing that you wanted to get done. you feel lucky you just get like that. one thing so I don't know it's too. depressing to watch I don't understand. news junkies oh why why you would. [ __ ] do that to yourself and the. [ __ ] stories that they show my god.

it's just like I can't I want to [ __ ]. see this it's all sad stuff here's sad. stuff that you. can't do anything about and now you know. it yeah enjoy yourself try not to drink. tonight go to McDonald's yeah but do you. feel like there was a time though when. what makes you wonder it was her time. when the news was ever credible do you. feel like it was more credible when they. used to have law was it like rules of. sevens back in the day were like what no. no one person could own like seven a.

combination of seven newspapers radio. stations and TV and like the same market. because the worry was like well that. they're all working for the same guy. than what he thinks is true is gonna be. what the people think is what they're. gonna think and then they just kept. deregulating and deregulating and. deregulating until now it's just. infinite so now you just have like two. towers of the their version of what's. going on here which is Fox News and CNN.

and both of them are ridiculously biased. ya know it's Dick ulis I mean it's not. even anything anymore yeah well back in. the day like the like the way they did. it was the news guy you weren't supposed. like I got I got sports announcer you're. not supposed to hear them you can't. you're not supposed to know who is for. yeah of course every sports fans thinks. they can tell especially when that team. is losing these guys [ __ ] hates us so. they would just deliver the news as it. was and like he had a fax it seemed like.

yeah and there was a lot more of. journalists breaking [ __ ] and and. bringing down like people who are really. doing some bad [ __ ] where now that's. kind of all gone away where everybody's. suck in the corporate [ __ ] so I think. that that's why now they're going after. like comedians and [ __ ] and I've always. joked that if we bought ad time on Fox. News and CNN all of this [ __ ] would go. away alone yeah well I mean at least at. least it would go away there I'm not. saying we'd go away on social media but.

what were you surprised that you're. specially that did you get a lot of. notes on your special from people you. always gonna get sucker yeah but my I. was more surprised that people tried to. lump it in with the specials that they. did where I was just like I mean if you. look at it musically I mean a country. album is not a rock album. not a rap album so it's like it's all. like different am i special you know I. did some topical [ __ ] but most of what. it was about was me being and trying not. to be an angry [ __ ] and pass this on.

to my kid and be a better husband and. just realizing how difficult I am to. live with that's what the main thing was. about but most people that ask me the. questions went for the same like hot. topic [ __ ] [ __ ] right like me to. stuff this yeah I'm trying to say that. which was you know that whole thing was. [ __ ] cuz Ellie would say you know it. was pretty harsh and blah blah blah it's. like oh what the part where I said it. happened to me and no one would give a. [ __ ] because I was a guy like they. didn't even [ __ ] you know didn't even.

ask questions about that it was all just. like they just want to create it's just. all about creating more stuff not well. no it ya know it's it they're hacks and. what's funny is is if I told through the. [ __ ] that I think I just said this Don. Rogan like if I if I said the same ten. jokes you said you said the same ten. jokes every we looked at is the worst. [ __ ] comics out just hacks ok but if. you're a journalist for some reason they. can all ask the exact same five to ten. questions and you just want to be they. don't you have any pride in what you do. don't you want the person that you're.

interviewing in to be like wow man I. know when you haven't ever asked me. that's a great for them to enjoy it as. opposed to rolling their eyes like [ __ ]. this again and just I had a guy started. an interview when he goes he goes don't. be alarmed by these questions I actually. liked your special and then it was just. one [ __ ] [ __ ] him I mean not yeah but. I know I've never take it to [ __ ] him it. was just like it was just disappointing. was just like oh god this again. we'll just no intake it's just like.

there's no individuality it's um well I. think what it is is because there's so. much [ __ ] to look out there that you. have to go with controversy just to get. people to stop so they you get clicks on. your website and then there's like. advertising hits and the dangerous thing. about that is when that's where you're. steering the ship. you're gonna go at somebody who didn't. do anything right you know what I mean. and eventually you could get them caught. up under the [ __ ] farming equipment. which has happened to a number of. comedians yeah who got caught up in in.

the [ __ ] wake of that Weinstein [ __ ]. and you know just to watch all of these. so-called social justice warriors to. sort of just collectively turn a blind. eye to that because they're so worried. about like losing this cold that they. have and it's just like but they're. losing the whole do you feel I mean that. hold I feel like is it's like I feel. like so many more people go out to see. comedians at have pockets just adjusting. to where it needed to go it probably had. to go past it had to go into like a.

witch-hunt phase and it's gonna adjust. to now that if somebody does something. like that that someone can say something. and then it's fine it is far it's not. fine that the person did it but that. they'll be able to oh this is what this. is we know what this is let's. investigate this let's right I know. what's going on with la blah blah blah. they'll be like it's I feel like it's. it's going to a rational place where it. was totally irrational before agreed and.

then it blew past rational and went all. the way around on the other side in this. Salem yeah which is how you know and. then it's yeah yeah yeah but that's. gonna end up in a comfortable spot yeah. I mean there's just no empathy it's a. lot of times what gives me is like. social justice like that like this whole. like judgement it's the same people that. will say like we need people to have. space to learn and space to be. themselves and figure out who they are. but then there's no empathy for anyone. when it comes to like a word or a. statement or something from a decade ago.

or yeah when you go back in somebody's. past it's like you're not trying to find. out who they are you're going back to. find the mistake they made yeah and then. that mistake is who they are it's like. everything else that you did you could. literally be a [ __ ] Eagle Scout yeah. you know playing three shows at an old. folks home and helping out veterans and. all of this [ __ ] but one [ __ ] time. you did XY and Z that's who you are and. yeah you know I I would lie I just wish. that they would like you know if. somebody does that able going back 15.

years I think we should go back 15 years. in this person's life it's like okay as. long as we're cool with doing it to you. to go and then we monitor yeah and then. we'll find them and there's no [ __ ]. way you can't go back in anybody's life. dude he can't go back 15 months in my. life and not find somebody that doesn't. [ __ ] like me or I said something that. I should. the [ __ ] said it's just like its. inherent off centimeter today that's. [ __ ] but everybody does this these. [ __ ] [ __ ] driving around like. they're these perfect people it's like. no you just don't have a podcast yeah. you know but this is the funny thing.

here's all these [ __ ] people are. getting like this home security and all. this [ __ ] where you can see like the. [ __ ] thief and all that they're gonna. be recording themselves and they're. gonna be saying [ __ ] in their [ __ ]. houses and all these regular people. you're gonna find it just like anybody. else in the public eye like you you make. jokes you have the way that you joke. with your friends right it's normal. yeah it you can you know it's a joke. they don't know it's a joke but then. they hear your private conversation they. try to take outs like first of all this. is a private conversation. you shouldn't have been listening - yeah. there's no context that's the problem.

with all of social media and everything. that's a problem even with like it's. like you can see something even on. Facebook or anywhere and you see. something you just see that clip that. bit you're like it gets a reaction but. you don't see the timeline you so you. don't have any context of where it plays. yeah and so then people constantly react. we got a kid laying in his bed right. here who sent this video and he had a. question that's related to all this all. right. what up Co loved the podcast what up. bill been a longtime fan I'm standing in. this video directly from a bed with an. open-ended question what do you guys.

think of that comedian Shang Gilles that. was just like go from us now or really. just what do you think of the situation. in general thanks King game and you guys. commented on this on David Spade last. night was that last night yesterday yeah. no I just I think I just answered it I I. don't think it's fair I wouldn't want to. be judged by one thing that I did yeah. you know 10 15 years ago so that's. personally something I wouldn't do I. would never do that to someone right and. it's just I think it's it says a lot. about you as a person that you went out.

and did that to him. is is I mean I don't think you know I. mean especially like as you starting out. as a comically oh you like your riffing. and stuff it's just like dude I got a. bit my act right now I that like the. first time I told it to women screamed. at me and walked out and [ __ ] then. you're late. wait wait waited to tell me me go [ __ ]. myself and all that and I got into him. went they you know and then I honed it. and I honed it and I only the other. night same [ __ ] joke this woman.

oh my god I feel like you were talking. about my life and it's just like you. know so so what am I though which guy am. I am i that [ __ ] guy that made the. two women get [ __ ] mad and then I. told him to go [ __ ] themselves and then. they yelled at me you know I mean are. they better than I am you know I I just. don't I don't get how that works well. yeah I don't see how there's no. long-term value in it it just ends up. with a which on where we all cancel. everybody and I also think SNL was. getting [ __ ] for never having an Asian.

cast member so then he said something. about Asians and then right they had to. look past their own [ __ ] there. [ __ ] it's like if he gets canceled. why doesn't SNL get canceled it took him. 40 [ __ ] years yeah. to finally cast somebody Asian that's. okay but forever and this guy says one. [ __ ] Douglas yeah that's it and then. he's done and then that's who he is. forever yeah and this thing I don't know. the guy so I don't know who he is but.

I'm not gonna just watch [ __ ] out a. second clip of somebody on a podcast be. like okay I know who that guy is and. whether or not he should do it and then. forget about the fact that like like. like the like how the punishment works. like I think how the punishment works as. far as being a stand-up comedian is if. you sell tickets and you're actually. gonna make some money you should never. do stand-up again yeah but if you're not. gonna sell tickets it's okay for you to. start a career as a comedian or continue. flailing as a community it doesn't even.

make [ __ ] sense. yeah none of it none of it does but like. I said I think it's it's it's adjusting. back but it's gonna take some balls on. corporation sides to not give in to this. [ __ ] right and why cuz I can tell you. this because god forbid one [ __ ]. nickel rolls out the [ __ ] door for. our god for [ __ ] bid they don't give. a [ __ ] it's all about their brand and. keeping this [ __ ] thing going and.

when I mean I get it to one level not. gonna let one person [ __ ] destroy a. forty-year March right I get that but I. just think that how quickly they just. cut and run but just to stand up and say. hey look we understand we're a company. that understands that people are people. and we all make. stakes and we all do things maybe out of. context from 15 years ago in our life. and we're an understanding company I. think yet because the way they support. that but the thing that they then let. this guy go because of that is now. you're validating that there's one bad. thing is who this person is right and.

now he has to [ __ ] and carry that like. that's gonna be like his thing and it's. just like it's it's be so tough it's. horrific ly not fit it's not that's not. fair to the [ __ ] kid that did that to. him whoever started that it wouldn't be. fair to do it to that person because. there's no [ __ ] way right you can't. go back and do this to some and imagine. like what if that kids supposed to be as. Jango supposed to be one of the best. comedians ever what if he you know. that's his what is his destiny you know. where he's supposed to do something. novel and you also you also grow the.

more you travel if you have your [ __ ]. eyes and your ears open oh yeah it's the. best thing about traveling because then. you have friends you have frames of. references and then [ __ ] that people say. and funny then you go back to your. hometown and the [ __ ] that people were. saying that was making sense now you. have can step back and be like that's. that's that's not right that's like cool. to say that oh I remember first time I. went to Africa man I was like holy [ __ ]. I had no idea that like other countries. I mean I knew they were real you know. from books and from like the globe.

but I didn't know they were real from. till I went there and put my feet on. them I know but I know I know what you. mean well you know was great was was as. well is so [ __ ] mind-blowing is when. you go to Asia and you go there and cuz. they don't pay attention to it other. than this [ __ ] horseshit what we're. trying to start wars with people you go. there and it's like it's literally like. you went to another planet yeah you show. up and it's like they have their own pop. stars their own Airlines their their own.

it's it's exactly like here completely. different and it's just like oh this is. their CBS this is there something and. it's just it was the [ __ ] coolest. thing and you know there's different. like cars like that they just don't put. out here in the US yeah like they'll. they'll have like like a couple like. Cujo is like a big thing like I kind of. saw when I was over there but like that. was sort of the the thrill of going over. there was watching like alright and they.

could get like who's there Guns and. Roses like yeah these [ __ ] people go. crazy and like they're ac/dc knowledged. so I really got into the music when I. was over there. I couldn't understand what they were. saying but like but the energy but just. like laughs and watching it and then. you'd see but the way the person was. dressed and how the crowd was reacting. is it China yeah where was I think this. was a Singapore Hong Kong. Mumbai it just put the whole thing just. traveling through all right a Mamba is.

beautiful yeah in Singapore Airlines. will they still have like the hot chick. [ __ ] stewardesses for some reason. that became like discontinued yeah like. this [ __ ] thing it's the greatest. thing ever oh and they all if used watch. them in the airport they'll move like a. school of fish almost yeah oh they're. all in a group and formation they're all. in like it's like a young beautiful. military day I know and you're just. sitting there like it makes you happy to. be on the airplane god forbid yeah god. forbid and then people just sit though I. kid she has to be beautiful of yes I.

mean that candy that's [ __ ] part of. nature. yeah it's native people are trying to. act like that isn't a [ __ ] thing. anyway so nature is hating but here's. the thing before I [ __ ] trap before. you know did twenty-nine out and then. [ __ ] go there like [ __ ] to me that. was like factually acceptable joke. acceptable and all of that was was just. you know it adjusts yeah adjustment so. eyes how many people were like I grew up. in a small town we just had you know it.

was like probably maybe 70% white 30%. black and it was pretty poor town and I. remember going to Africa's the first. country ever went to and I was like. whole continent it's not a country yeah. and I remember thinking holy [ __ ] dude. all these people are gonna be in heaven. that's what I never realized and I was. like [ __ ] cuz I always pictured heaven. like just the people from my town we're. gonna be there and then I remember going. to this place and being like holy [ __ ]. man what are we gonna do now in heaven. it's gonna be packed that was my first. thought do you believe in heaven yeah.

and I thought well when we die dude it's. gonna be packed and so then suddenly I. had all this anxiety like you know like. um. get Sun anxiety but just like you know. like [ __ ] man I got a rethink you know. what you're after life yeah and so I was. like yeah reason it's a room for. Africans and you're yeah afterlife and. there's a lot of room form there you got. to see how many you're havin act or you. gotta see how many are coming but then I. went to end I went to India one time and. I saw like some kids they're smiling and.

playing and dude to this day I've never. seen as much joy come out of like a. group of kids then for some reason just. like I had a great time in India they. were like friendliest people well they. were ball breakers I was really amazed. at the sense of humor that was over. there because that's not something you. hear about when we when we talk about. India we talk about the food we talk. about the religion caste system the. sacred cow this hacky [ __ ] the the the. style address but they never talked.

about the people and I got there and. they were really really funny like just. ball breakers like the comics like broke. balls it was really really funny and it. was yeah that was a great time I was. just a little scary to go to as far as. like when I got like I had to get a work. permit to go there and then when I went. there I had to get them to sign a piece. of paper so it was okay for me to leave. and I didn't like that yeah at all like. almost like checking in for school or so. like you know I had to go to like this.

[ __ ] embassy thing and they wouldn't. let the promoter come in there and I was. sitting there with some chick from. Afghanistan and we're both looking each. other like a they gonna let's let us out. of here. what of us and and there was like you. know when they do this thing what they. don't when you ask him a question they. don't nod yes or shake no like they kind. of do like oh yeah they did. they do this [ __ ] yeah yeah that was. like all right so I got this piece of. paper I'm doing my show tonight and then. I'm going to the airport and I'll be. able to get out if I if I show him this. and she was just like yeah doing this.

it's like lady I'm on the other side of. the [ __ ] globe yeah what do you guys. own me now what what's going on here am. I in when they were in that [ __ ] with. that guy take the drugs to him what the. [ __ ] was that movie I don't know what. the [ __ ] women in on now this is before. you will you this is when you were real. young a Midnight Express oh you haven't. you guys when Tom Hanks just file that. under Mary Tyler Moore yeah oh that's. Polar Express. yeah Polar Express um anyway it was yet. that was the only part of the trip that.

I didn't like and it was I found out. that it's harder for people who lived on. the west coast to get out of there than. on the East Coast which means some. senator said something or did something. and [ __ ] with them so this is their. political [ __ ] you back Wow. yeah because there was some I'm not good. with the name some beautiful pop star. American like when I was Norah Jones you. know. piano playing gorgeous women she went. there and she couldn't get out he's what. the promoter told me so I was thinking. like alright if they don't let somebody. who looks like that get out there's no. [ __ ] way I'm getting out yeah so what.

was good was I had a red-eye flight and. I showed up in a handed the paper and. the guy was [ __ ] doing this [ __ ] and. I just gorillas my way through that. middleman yeah I was just like dude it's. the paper I have to go I gotta go. and he they just [ __ ] stamped it and. then I felt like when that stamp hits I. don't I like when I landed another. airport and get on a different [ __ ]. plane we were connected and Dubai and I. was just like as we won the the tarmac I. felt like I was in that Ben Affleck. movie that are yeah Argo yeah these.

jeeps were gonna come along the side so. once we took off I was kind of okay and. then when we landed in Dubai and we. switched over to air Emirates which I. swear to God is one of the most insane. [ __ ] planes I've seen pictures on LA. obscene and I used my sky miles so we. were like sitting up top first class so. when I got in there and we went to go to. I went to go to the bathroom and I went. in the back to there was a [ __ ] bar. that you could stand up while the plane. was going was like a semicircle had.

enough for like six people to stand. around so I came back I said to my wife. go Nia come on back here she goes for. what go come here I got to show you this. and she's like what a [ __ ] look at. the bathroom so we come walk in it yeah. and she saw the bar I said I'd like to. buy you a drink. so then we sat down on like this bench. that had like this giant seat I think I. can't know it must have been individuals. cuz what if you sat down with some. stranger wouldn't want to do that but I. remembered it was one big seat belt but. we just sat there on a bench and I was. just laughing acting like I didn't know. her and hitting on her and like a Ron.

Ron Burgundy kind of way so we were just. racking up and it was just this [ __ ]. awesome flight that was such an amazing. trip because we started in LA went to. Australia did a whole run there went to. New Zealand then Singapore then Hong. Kong then Mumbai Wow. and your wife went with you the whole. time yeah before I had a kid and then we. connected in Dubai and then flew to New. York then I did some gigs there and then. I flew so I literally flew around the. world on that so that gets back to you. we're like you know Africa exists but.

you don't know how it exists - you go. there oh yeah and that was the thing. where like flying it's just like yeah at. all it all exists or this is like you. know it Steven Spielberg they paid him. to come up with some sort of like. scenery [ __ ] and give you the sensation. that you were flying I don't know yeah I. don't think they can do all that I think. a lot of people you know a lot of people. get in all that the flat earth and this. and that but I don't think that that's. really I think there could be something. going on I don't think that that's it. that's too easy if as far as what as far.

as them making people like getting. people to act and stuff in Africa and. getting people I don't think somebody's. like making you know I've had you're. talking about Flat Earth oh I don't. think somebody's blows I wish you would. literally have to have the world. scientists in every single country yeah. get join on the same why they can't but. if they were able to do that then all. these wars are alive it yeah they can't. do that you know no by the way how much. longer are they gonna keep saying like. Iran Iran did something they're just.

forcing us into that like well how the. [ __ ] are we gonna pay for every other. day there's an article I don't know I. think they want stupid I fell down in. Saudi Arabia we think Iran did it you. know what that's remaining member that. great Bill Hicks bit where he was like. you need to pick up the gun uh-uh. Oh God you got to hear that one it's a. Jay's a reference to a Jack Palance. movie which you don't know and you. probably don't give a [ __ ] but I. remember Barbie uh no Barnaby Collins. mmmm Barnaby Jones yeah Barnaby Jones no. that's the one I didn't watch [ __ ] oh it. was good man Bravo DSS Maddox y5o the.

original buddy Ebsen remember him buddy. Ebsen no I think he was played Barnaby. Jones real hit her who is this right. here. Oh art Antonio Brown I would love to get. bills. Antonio Brown this isn't farting in the. face of the doctor this is unbelievable. I know God for to fast - I heard it was. in his face though I feel like that was.

a little overblown but that was just one. one more in this series of incidences. what are your thoughts on him joining. the Patriots you go he's a great player. Paul virzi had the best take on that I. thought where he was wondering if some. of the concussions because he was a. really quiet guy you know the first half. of his career and then on a little. sudden out of nowhere there's all like. this erratic behavior there seems like a.

big ego stuff yeah there's more of a. pump there's more of a circum there's a. lot of surrounding him like Kanye I I. don't I don't yeah I don't know what's. going on yeah I don't know what's going. on with that guy i but IV won't be. honest with you he was always on the. Steelers so I didn't really watch a lot. of his interviews but I just don't ever. remember him having much of a problem. while he was with Pittsburgh until the. end then all of a sudden it just became. like this this thing and then he goes to. Oakland has a problem with the helmet or. something like that I don't know I don't.

know dude you know I gotta be honest. with you I really don't think any of. that's any of my business I don't know. why people post [ __ ] like that or he. wants to post it I don't give a [ __ ] I. just want to watch the game and right. this guy is a good guy and he's gonna be. great and he's gonna win with the. Patriots I hope we keep him and if he's. you know a knucklehead or did that [ __ ]. that they're suggesting he did then you. know you get rid of the guy it's as. simple as that but like I don't get into. the [ __ ] Real Housewife aspect of. sports I don't give a [ __ ] right about. right that's not who that it's not where.

we're therefore as I mean well yeah I. want to watch the game I don't want to. sit in a [ __ ] tailgate [ __ ]. parking lot talking to some [ __ ]. about like somebody's what the [ __ ] did. you see what he did in the Dairy Queen. it's like I don't give a [ __ ]. viii isn't that for the local. authorities what are gonna be some. gumshoe here now what do you think about. the scandal. yeah it's like I'm a sports fan I don't. think I just [ __ ] watch this [ __ ] and. react to stuff that has nothing to do. with my life and I enjoy it. I'll tell you what you got to get into. you got to get into motorcycle racing.

you got to get an a MotoGP really that. [ __ ] is the best [ __ ] racing out. there and these guys are out of their. [ __ ] minds in a great way do they do. it here in the US do they have one race. a year I'm going next year in Austin. they have one Formula One race here I'll. go in the same place I'm [ __ ] going. man it's like every race it's like gets. down to like the final lap and they pass. each other like three or four times and. they're on a track oh wow oh yeah oh. yeah my niece does dirt biking but oh. that was Andre divisio so number four in.

Marc Marquez that was in what the [ __ ]. was that one that that last lap of that. [ __ ] race is insane Wow this is every. last lap from 2019 oh it is yeah it's. instant listen you don't get this in. Formula one because once Lewis Hamilton. gets in the front you can take the rap. you can take a [ __ ] nap it's over. yeah look at that [ __ ] the Ducati is. going trying to get past the hole on. this straightaway they go over 200 miles. an hour and I think they're doing like.

70 or something in the turns. it's [ __ ] insane Wow let's balls yeah. do you have a lot of hobbies bill I get. into [ __ ] man you have a lot of things. you like you know I need to give her. these guys look at that guy or this dead. [ __ ] yeah yeah that's Italian right. there yeah you can't get that accantus. love and your [ __ ] arms if you're not. Italian bro yeah the one oh they all get. that look at those guys yeah they're. like it's like they were on a [ __ ]. horse and they're like banging into each. other see now he came on the brakes too.

late there so you went too hot in the. corner the guy in the red so he ducked. down I don't know a lot about it but I. just watches it this [ __ ] has me come up. off my couch you are I wonder if they. have radio and their helmet you think oh. they're probably listening to the boss. huh no you see him pop there with that. really not a frustration yeah he got me. these sometimes wish that you had. another life to do something that was a. little bit more violent like that like.

you think that's violent that's a little. I mean it's it I think the results well. if this is the family of Ireland or. whatever they what does it call when. you're like Oh more adrenaline rush yeah. yeah. no I think I got this life right as far. as like well I I feel like I'm doing. what I'm supposed to do but like I will. say though as far as racing goes I've. gotten into it where I've watched like. old Formula One and old MotoGP and I got. tell you the second you press play it's. immediately scary like these guys could. die and people died a lot like.

ridiculously a lot back in the 50s and. 60s and we was [ __ ] insane. I read this book called your listeners. are into racing I've read this book. called No Limit and which is basically. where these guys try to push the car. basically the or the bike or whatever. you're racing the absolute limit of the. performance before you [ __ ] crash. like that's where you have to be racing. or somebody else is gonna take it to the. limit right and you and you act like a. [ __ ] test pilot you got to figure out. where that is so this book is about the. first American who won the the Formula.

One mm-hmm yeah I was a [ __ ] amazing. book so you and he was the first. American not only to win the. championship in Formula One but also to. drive for Ferrari and we were just. considered inferior Wow because we got. all this space out a formula 1 is just. takes place in Europe well I mean it's. was I think it believed it started over. them not quite sure over them but it. started over there Brazil has a mailman. well they have a race there ok but as. far as the cars it's it's mainly German.

Italian British kind of car in there I. know I'll just throughout the years. whatever so this guy gets a job the. American mm-hmm gets a job driving for. Ferrari so he gets his race car in the. film in the book in the book yeah so. when he gets the car he notices in the. the the floorboards I guess which are. just all metal I think at that point. there was there was a hole in it and it. was basically the last guy who drove it. got decapitated and he bled out in the.

car and how they hosed the water out. they just drilled a hole so he's gay. dude it's it's [ __ ] intense damn so. these guys dude they would die people in. the crowd would die they had won this. guy's [ __ ] had an accident right they. [ __ ] hit each other the hood came off. went into the crowd like a Chinese star. and decapitated like six people and this. guy landed on like in almost concur. barriers yeah and I'm just landed dead. in front of the car on the all on fire. oh yeah this video of it I forget I.

forget where the crash was they don't. they don't show the decapitation but you. see this hood [ __ ] go into the crowd. to be more searched I would say Formula. One there was a German guy whose. nickname was crash or something like. that he wanted. I saw a vintage Formula One German crash. crowd death there you go that's how I.

look for [ __ ] I gotta do this it's all a. [ __ ] Pirelli go into uh front of a it. was from popeyes chicken one time off a. highway 190 over there by uh sir Kenny. Rogers Roasters remember that all I mean. yeah dude do that I mean that if that. [ __ ] can hit you in the chest I mean. just all your your [ __ ] your insides. are liquefied wide open that's it that's. the ultimate liver shot was it in 1961. the same years yeah of something like. that I would think of you around there. these [ __ ] people were standing I was.

on a straightaway so they thought they. would say they were just they were just. behind a rope right here you go. tragedian Monza let's this might this. might be it. this is a name Wolfgang Wolfgang that's. him yeah there we go beautiful name. there we go let's see if this is it. seems to be the same footage over and. over again am I crazy oh they they cut. it out he went into the crowd you got to. get okay so Wolfgang von trips fatal.

crash yeah see those people looking down. there looking down at dead people oh. there was a fence as a couple dead right. there looking two dead right through. there not to that there's their hats no. head oh my God look at that. yeah and that was it you couldn't sue. anybody unbelievable who's talking about. death now bill and he died that's the. Mary Tyler Moore circuit I know then. there there there is the one I don't. know know the name of the crash but. there's one with the [ __ ] what comes.

off and the guy lands right on top of. the things and he's just make the balls. the balls it took to just race in the. [ __ ] 90s just the sound of. the cars they just sound scarier gasps. he's right there I felt like in the back. of the day like if I looked around in my. dad's car enough I could find a little. bit of gasoline you know like it was. always within arm's reach or within like. noses smell I got an old Ford pickup. like the gas tank is right behind the. seat and when I get low on gas I hear it. sloshing around the ability of an f-150. f100 oh that's awesome man what year is.

it. 68 I drove it over here oh you did yeah. yeah dude that's awesome yeah yeah I got. on the column but I mean it's not. something that I would want to get into. an accident with that's why you know cuz. a fire well yeah and also like there was. no crumple zones back then it was just. the engine went into your chest it's not. like a [ __ ] you know modern-day car we. can just hit [ __ ] and bounce it means. people still die but I'm just saying. like those yeah like it you you take I'd. rather die I think yeah you're in a yeah. like I'm looking change well depends it.

depends yeah maybe like if it's a nice. day I would if it's a [ __ ] if it's. boiling out I think appends on what my. injuries are gonna be alright here we go. let's get a lay the first person wearing. a shirt I believe all right hey Bill hey. Theo this is Marissa from Raleigh North. Carolina and so bill I heard you say on. I believe it was Joe Rogan's podcast. that you really liked the film Once Upon. a Time in Hollywood and you've seen it.

several times and I know Theo said that. he walked out halfway through it so I. was just wondering maybe if you could. talk about why you loved it so much and. Theo. why you walked out halfway through it. anyway Gang Gang well this is where bill. and I don't talk anymore after this no. no I didn't like you didn't like it. I absolutely [ __ ] loved it I heard on. your podcast you said you loved it oh my. god. dude it's the best work Leo's any Brad. Pitt's quit first time you watch it I. was just like I want to be like Brad. Pitt's the guy want to be yeah and then.

the second time I watched it I was like. oh my god I'm just like Leo's character. I have an emotional [ __ ] mess well I. don't know what part you walked out and. I walked out after they went to that. house for the first time after they met. the old guy and then you were in the. yard and then his car was had a flat. tire and at that point I was like I got. to get out of here I don't know what. these guys are doing you know I felt. like it was just kind of a waste of I. don't know it just. get into it and I didn't know what was. going on and it made me feel. uncomfortable I was like I gotta get out. of here because I started to feel like. everybody knows what's going on and I. don't know what's going on.

you know I guess yeah that's that's for. you and the therapist buddy yeah that. house do you at the [ __ ] movies if. you think the whole the whole movie. theater gives a [ __ ] about whether you. making like audible noises that you did. huh whoa oh that's the only way they. would know [ __ ] man I don't know uh so. [ __ ] up Mandy yeah you do yeah you do. you do I really didn't I really did it.

man I'm not gonna sit here and try to. talk you into that masterpiece it's one. of my might be my favorite thing after. you said that's unbelievable do you. remember that show remember that movie. um dream team probably one of the best. movies ever remember Michael Keaton I. love Michael Keaton what was the dream. team will you show the picture I've seen. everything everything from mr. mom. Annette but the thing he did about like. when he was trying to run the American. car making company oh that was a great. one I know you talking about hold that. tiger that one when he's has a car the. the light in the middle no that's Kevin.

Costner was in that no that was Tucker. with that was good yeah how good was. that they should remake that there you. go right there. I never saw that one Oh probably on the. top 20 or 30 films ever I think it's in. color too. dream team it's about four guys that. they're a mental health facility and. they finally get tickets to a baseball. game I never saw that one I've seen most. of his films you ever see founder is. that about the dog that dies no that's. about MacDonnell's oh my god yeah you.

saw that right you liked that one no. good there you go you didn't walk out. you didn't feel like see that I. understand I like this one so much. talking can't handle this was like that. was sift it was subtitles I could see. why you wouldn't [ __ ] enjoy that. wouldn't did it for me bro that found it. was so good I love something has I think. more of like a like glory number two. movie glory about the slave fight from. nineteen uh no from 1700.

wasn't that a Denzel Matthew Broderick. Denzel wash. damon wayans yeah so I don't think feel. like slice-of-life cuz from whatever. that was once upon a time a Hollywood. not a ton of narrative arc just that's. not slice of life that's what people are. saying that's what people are saying. bill it is slice of life yeah they're. just living ok can we look up the. definition I didn't know what it you. look up slice of life again. it was the Manson murders with a happy. ending that was the backdrop yeah I. liked uh oh I just like how he took all.

the fear out of the Manson Family he's. like there's a bunch of stupid [ __ ]. hippies who killed a bunch of their. creative talented people in the prime of. their lives and then the other people. who weren't in show business down the. street that he didn't very say seem to. cover I know we talked about this before. bill off just on the phone but do you. like I have a tough time with like. giving away like when I do a special and. that sort of thing like doing giving.

away the audio all that kind of stuff I. kind of just I guess not like letting go. of my material but I mean you treasure. the audio right why would you but did. you ever feel like that I'm sure cuz. you're you always seem like the guy. who's like wants to do it his own way. you know you have all things coming you. always seem like the guy that wants to. oh I have that with a bunch of other. people so that's me working with other. people right yeah see I opened it up and. look what happened and I'm putting on. Jessica Kirsten specials coming on next. words in Edwards is Ian talk yeah yeah.

you and talk is out right now we did one. with Paul virzi you know um so yeah I. bet that I do I work with a bunch of. people al Madrigal yeah Mike Bertolli no. yeah Mike's great by the way. yes he is yes he is anyways but we what. we asked me just did you have a tough. time like I guess I don't know sometimes. I just have a tough time with that I. just have a tough time with like just. feel like I'm getting taken advantage of. constantly I guess is what it is yeah at. some point you you it's basically you.

know a fighter knows how to take a punch. I mean that's the best you can do cuz. it's coming it's coming there's always. gonna be like it's very rare you know. that you know somebody there's always. there's always the [ __ ] that you're. gonna have to wade through so what you. need to get you need to get a really. lawyer and you have to be willing to. walk those are two huge things and then. you just kind of go from there and you. got to go with your gut and sometimes. they get you sometimes they don't but it.

is not a you know business is not a fun. experience yeah just put it that way it. is just like lying and stealing either. probably the two number-one commandments. broken every [ __ ] 90th of a second. it's so that's what is which is what's. so funny about this whole dialogue out. there this is what do they call it. that's going on out there about how you. know men move through the world right. you just basically the doors fly open. and stuff like now dude it is a it is a.

it's a [ __ ] party try to get your face. down every [ __ ] thing you walk and. that the whole thing that like this like. that is a guide your immune oh it's. horrible to this this [ __ ] yeah dude. the amount of times I've almost just. quit this business the only reason why I. didn't was because I realized that like. it's like well I'm just gonna get into. another business and it's gonna be the. same way right you know the nature of. business the nature of business is that.

this is just yeah yeah people are gonna. [ __ ] try to put your face down in. their desk and if you let them look I'll. tell you this if you do a little bit of. uh you know gambling if you like to get. out there at the late-night hours and. lay a little wager down something fancy. you know maybe they got a ah a. Weimaraner is gonna do a run it's. running uphill against a beagle you know. you want to lay a few uh shillings on it. where you can.

maybe you got a shrimp and a seahorse. wanna rassle and you can do that in the. yard and make you a little money but the. end at the end of a hard week it's great. to sit down take some time off and watch. football a more popular competition do. the smart thing when you do it and go to. my bookie dot a G no one gives you more. ways to win than they do my bookie I. just accidentally accidentally later. wager last week I'd bet I wanted to bet. the New Orleans Saints and that they get.

ten wins. Sedan Talib at they get under ten wins. next thing you know drew brees goes down. and and I got a shot so I got a shot. accidental but maybe you can do better. than I can. don't forget where your betting is just. as important as who you're betting on. you don't want to be betting on one of. these places they're not real and it's. just a lady at our house counting all. your money you know if you're the kind. of guy that likes to bet a little and. win a lot try a parlay if your picks.

come through you multiply your winnings. that's how you do it. join now get my bookie and they'll. double your first deposit yep so if you. want to lay a certain amount then. they'll match it for you it's like a 401. K for gambling use promo code Theo to. activate the offer that's promo code th. EO visit my bookie dot AG today that's. right my bookie dot AG today and they. will double which you lay down that. bonus amount and you play you win use.

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skill and get out there I'll give you. one even this even [ __ ] over zone little. [ __ ] watch your writer on the road. don't don't have a bunch of [ __ ] on your. rider because they're gonna go out and. they're gonna buy all of it in the. biggest size and overcharge you and. you're not going to consume it and then. they're gonna take it home themselves. Jesus yeah which is why my ride is like. bottled waters in a salad with the. protein yeah you know I got blueberries. and a little bit of cut Turkey from the.

odd though yeah that's what you want to. do but if you start having like lamb or. some liquor and all no I'm just talking. like you know I want these candies I. want this they're gonna buy the. Halloween fat and that right there will. be a way to [ __ ] skim 200 bucks from. you yeah just that that's just in that. [ __ ] level forget about all the other. [ __ ] you know you get in with promoters. and they double triple quadruple [ __ ]. dip its yeah did you ever have to you. can't because cuz it makes it hard for.

me to do my work cuz I get it so [ __ ]. mad having to be my own business person. sometimes you know I'm saying like or. having to feel like I'm getting I don't. know it just can't you can't take it. yeah I the problem I have is that the. people who do it sleep at night. comfortably they're just like yeah you. know I meant that's how business is done. this is how we do business so I guess. how you do business you can't do. business unless you're just [ __ ]. somebody over and stealing from them. yeah how do you feel when you sit in. your [ __ ] hot tub I don't know I got.

[ __ ] issues in other areas yeah did I. love that line from your special about. the lady in the hot tub you like your. [ __ ] sitting right there next to me. oh yeah the way white women have. divorced themselves from their own white. privilege well I swung fell off of my. house why Micucci beat over the other. side of the fence to be victims is. [ __ ] hilarious let's take a question. right here we got another one speaking. of a white guy right here with all this. [ __ ] privilege. sending this in. hey Bill feel this is Luke hey Theo is.

just wondering if you've ever flown in a. helicopter bill would you take them up. love be kind of a fun little trip and. Bill I know you're working on your. instrument rating keep plugging at a man. I'm an instrument and commercially rated. fixed-wing pilot so I know what you're. going through just hit that far am. brother. take care I never been in helicopter. I've been in like oh I've been in a. Blackhawk one time actually and I was. doing a show in Vaz Basra or something. and I got a blow job on an unsecured. airfield from a female and uh in the.

middle of the night in a Blackhawk. helicopter praise God brother well there. you go. so yes he's been in a helicopter so I. have been in one but only with a gun you. know only when people had guns you keep. a weapon on yours or no on what in your. uh I don't if you have the helicopter if. you rent a la cop I really have to. answer that. he knows god damn well have a weapon why. are you doing this you don't you never. got think it's uh I don't think it's. obtuse really to think you might have a. weapon in there with you think about it.

yeah think about you think about it this. is small God did as I am piece yeah no. okay fine fine bill it's [ __ ]. ridiculous question ringing who's he up. there would you flood fly is a hobby. here's another question about Bill's. interests I thought looks like Mila hey. Theo hey Bill. hey Theo I'm really looking forward to. seeing you in a couple weeks the Rat.

Pack is gonna see their Lord and Savior. in Bethlehem Pennsylvania praise the God. brother crazy guy I'm currently smoking. a Sir Robert Peel slobbering all over it. that name is pretty pretentious but. onward bill yeah question to you isn't. smoking these Nick sticks it's been my. experience that the group of people the. subculture there's less knuckleheads yes. is that your experience yes and what's. your favorite cigar and or brand gang.

gang all right yeah that's what it is. the conversation the people you hang. with I've I don't think I've. there's got to be one or two I don't. think I've ever met a cigar smoker who. wasn't [ __ ] cool and chill Chris. Carter smokes him he's on that. television show uh yeah a lot of. athletes smoke them my favorite one. right now I love those long auras that. come in those torpedo-like tubes and I. was an emerald guy now I like the. Sapphire the Sapphire that is my that's.

my go-to I love Allah or cigars they got. these little ones at home Zeppelin's. they come twenty-two a box looking like. a little mini you know can you smoke. them at night when do you smoke them in. the morning what's the earliest you'll. smoke do you have a little bit of a. culture for yourself uh. well I'm trying to lay off them so I. kind of like you know I what I try to do. is because I have so many friends that. smoke that I try to get a large group. together rather than smoke with all of. eight people individually I try to get. all of us together so I just smoke once.

but oh it's I got a back porch I like to. go out too but there's like this [ __ ]. psycho level mosquito out here now that. if you go out there at night like even. if you got clothes on it like [ __ ]. ghosts right through your clothes go wow. yeah yeah it's [ __ ] and even though. what does your wife's welcome to. sometimes or no no no no she does my. wife's coolest [ __ ] she's alright with. it like she sees me all like wound up. she owes much of my smoke a cigar oh wow. yeah go do some stand-up I think you.

need to go do some stand-up like she. kind of like manages my like I start. bouncing around the [ __ ] house like. do you need to go out tonight like. what's going on with you but probably. and that's what I have to do I get in. the car and I [ __ ] porn on some ac/dc. fantasize that I'm in the band yeah. singing this lyrics and then when Angus. starts playing then I'm Angus whoever's. doing the most interesting [ __ ] during. the song is how self-involved I am as. I'm fantasizing as I Drive down the road. and then I go down to the store and. whenever I do some stand-up and then I. come back and then I'm more chill but.

yeah I try - trying to smoke like once. every two weeks that's good yeah but I'm. not doing that. define did you like take to it right. away cuz I know you see you like force. yourself no you know what happened I was. on a movie and I bought a box of cigars. for everybody because we were going on. on a boat the director was taking us out. to go on this little boat. I think we're in Boston and it was just. too many non-smokers there and to just. bust out ten and everybody smoking would.

have been obnoxious so I kept saying to. the other actions we're gonna hang we're. gonna hang right the little of lung we. just it just didn't happen and then I. didn't want to throw him out and I had. him and I was like [ __ ] and I never. smoked in a cigar by myself and I made. the mistake as I went out to my back. porch by myself and smoked one and this. just ate that habit well you and you. smoke a cigar even if you haven't done. [ __ ] that day you feel like you. conquered a country there's just it's. cuz this it's something it's inherently. obnoxious but it's delicious and it's.

relaxing and I was just like I just. instantly in that moment I was like I. get this this is [ __ ] amazing and it. took a little while after that birth to. hold but it's been pretty bad for the. last five years so just keep trying and. I can get addicted did you ever do plug. tobacco do you ever do anything like. that now I never smile I was that's the. thing I never smoked or never smoked. weed never did any of that [ __ ] chew and. tobacco nope. never did it I was that kid that when. they came to school if I could just. reach one kid I was the guy that got.

reached and uh yeah that's so we're in. my late 30s I think I found was just. like am I never gonna know what it feels. like to be stoned so I took a hit so. occasionally I do that you and the wife. will roll up a little blonde or no. sometimes it's a special occasion. anniversary uh yank maybe yeah it made. not really though not really. certainly and that's certainly not a. blunt I mean we're pretty like we just. [ __ ] we hang out she's cool as [ __ ]. so we sat there less what's cool right.

now she you know she watches Real. Housewives which usually drives me nuts. but this one woman on there who's so. funny and just trashes which season is. it I don't know what it is but she just. says she was a dinner and this woman was. just running her Yap chicas you know. what she was fine that she ORS the word. freaking she's you're a freaking contest. and they all gasp OH. just [ __ ] called her a [ __ ] I was like. I like this and she just she just. doesn't give a [ __ ] her she's a dumbass. she's not even hurt the some Bulls.

should happen she goes I guarantee she. goes to the emergency room and the chick. went to the emergency room she can she. live and when she went I called it yeah. I called it she sound like my. friends that watch sports so the fact. that she's on there I think is it I. think it's going to increase their male. viewership because other than that it's. just it's just I can't I mean need to. just screaming and yelling at each other. and then they then they even worse then. they got to work it out yeah and they're. always crying in the and there's a rich. well they at least they try to look rich. but they're also like always trying to.

like do something spiritual yeah yeah. they're always getting crystals or. something or trying to go to Sydney yeah. that we want and rich white chick. [ __ ] it's got a it's yeah I don't. know what they're doing and they have. just sold their closer a lot the makeups. a lot the boat so the whole thing is. just everything is just extra yeah so. there's always been the rich have always. really driven me nuts I felt like. because I feel like that's one thing. it's fun to grow up with you don't grow. up with money is having that that.

arch-nemesis in just the rich general. you know like we saw that kid that can. turn into self-sabotage so be careful. about that don't feel guilty about it. and like there's a lot of cool people. but I did a private party one time for a. self-made billionaire him and his two. brothers all became billionaires in. three different areas and like I met the. guy and like I didn't do well at the. party either was I was doing I opened. with the Michelle Obama bit yeah and you. know it was like a real liberal crowd. and was not look it was not the best way.

to go had choice yeah. and but he was sitting there in the. middle big smile looking around he. [ __ ] loved in it afterwards when I. met him I was just like hey but he was. both going like he goes now that was. great it was great I got sorry about the. you know Obama thing kind of started off. bad and he just goes cousin I think it. was cool I I mean I I like the stuff you. was saying if they think you were saying. a lot of stuff that he's be heard he. just was the coolest guy ever. and then I was asking him where he was. from and he it turned out you know I had. you know great great great great.

you know grandfather that grew up in the. same area and [ __ ] just ended up being. really cool and so you do meet like a. lot it's like when people say the LA. it's just a bunch of phony plastic. people and then you come out here and. you there's a lot of really [ __ ]. there's a lot of really plastic phony. people but there's also the all these. really cool people so it just depends on. how you're gonna look at it yeah yeah. maybe my perspectives. times I think well one thing definitely. is I've made more money even just in the. past year I finally started making money. you know and it's definitely been like. yeah sometimes even in the beginning of. this movie I'm gonna start yelling at.

himself in the mirror like Leo and the. part before you walked out was it really. a piece of [ __ ] yeah. oh he yells at himself in the mirror. it's one of my favorite seats maybe I. gotta watch it again yeah you yeah you. don't have to I don't want to force well. I'm not gonna watch it cuz you want me. to watch it but I'll watch it maybe. because maybe I did miss something you. know I just said a certain point I'm. just like my favorite part of it was. that Brad Pitt had a little bit of like. a hitch in his walk a little bit if you. noticed that and about Leo with the put. the speech impediment that only happened.

off I love how you just dismissed that. yeah oh my god that's amazing that's. what's amazing about when somebody makes. something like people's reaction like oh. my god this is the greatest thing ever. something else hey [ __ ] walked out I. get nervous the whole movie theater was. listening to my inner thoughts they. cared they cared this much about me I. don't think they care I [ __ ] care in. my head I cared I listened when I put. the hat on that means I got to go. that's fine I want to show you my truck. all right we got a weekend bond on.

something we can agree we missed the. mark on Mary Tyler Moore yeah you. brought up something Emily man have you. seen that movie I've seen Family Guy hmm. what about the nice guys oh you got to. see that okay. you got to see that well that's a funny. one oh what's a nice guys know I don't. know I think you're looking down you get. your girl out you got your jaw that's. very confrontation I'm feeling like. you're not liking my suggestions I just. like you you like Tamara eyes upon a. time in Hollywood this guy's dead too.

dead to me just to let you know I can't. hear your inner thoughts oh don't get. all [ __ ] weird it out I just walk out. already I feel like you're in my head. man super quick I really do a lot of. people ask this question and Mike do G. on patreon asks are you gonna get a. another dog once your daughter's older. yes. and what a lot of people don't know is. my dog is still my dog I just someone. else watches her for me and that's the. very convoluted contract had to be drawn.

up because I'm still liable if the thing. does something I think. I don't know but like I am still taking. care of that dog she's gonna be in town. soon I still miss her I love hanging out. with her but I'm not gonna lie when I. brought her around the house I had her. on the leash just because I was feeling. guilty that I got rid of her gave her to. somebody else when she saw my daughter. she was cool. and I but I didn't let her anywhere near. her but then we set her down on the bed.

where she used to be and she could sort. of glance and I saw her ears go up and. get fixated normally I give it a tug. just to kind of make her look at. something else I don't see what she does. and she looked at my cute little baby. and just went oh my god that's why you. don't live here and I haven't had guilt. about it ever since. I still miss that dog tremendously but. as my trainer said this is one of these. dogs nature said no to people said yes. to because even with his crazy skill set. like it took him a year just to have the. dog get used to all the other dogs that.

it was living with now and to become. friends with one of them sort of and he. still has to watch because the other. thing about my dog was like when she. decided that she was going for it she. usually didn't do that she would just. look make the decision and then just go. so there was no warning and my trainer. was going this is a top-level predator. Wow it's like all right I'm never a baby. I can't [ __ ] do this so like a shark. ah yeah dude it was it and she's like.

you and the dog meet up or like been oh. yeah yeah yeah no she comes. you know once every like six weeks you. know the guy who has him comes into LA. nice guy boards yeah yeah but it's a. trainer trainer yeah so that's why I. feel safe with the arrangement so he. brings her in and then I take it for. walks we have a great time and all of. that stuff and you know she's getting. older she's definitely since we let her. go she's kind of slowed down a little. bit but she's defied the laws of at like.

a thousand times like a dog like that. especially as a pit bull would be put. down and. you know somebody had it for a year just. let her go we got her we had her in 2009. to the end of 2016 so we had about eight. and a half years damn my line my math is. wrong I think they're 90 yeah eight and. a half years and then he's had it for. like the last basically all of my. daughter's life we gave her away like a. year before my daughter's was born so.

did you daughter know about the dog no. no no no no and I yeah I mean baby I'll. tell her about her somebody a dog was. crazy yeah he came at Dodgers had dog. was like a bouncer yeah if you got. grandfathered in and you were cool and. then once you anything after that was. like know who the [ __ ] is this this. person needs to be terminated D so ever. you ever donated sperm or anything like. that when you were coming up as a. comedian nope and I don't have a gun in. my helicopter but I want to thank you. for having me bet and helping me promote.

my special I just have to get home to. worry about kids getting up from the nap. and it's my watch I love it all I and I. love everything that you're doing I'm so. happy for you and all thanks man you're. always you know you're doing it just. expand don't be afraid to get into. business with people get a good lawyer. all right all right thanks Bill thank. you. [Music]. oh but when I reach that round I'll.

share this piece of my mouth I can. defeat it in my thought it's gonna take. little town for me to sell that parking. brake and let myself. [Music].

[Music].