Biggie Smallsberg | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #347
all right baby boys and baby bats i'm. that baby bat boy. you know what i'm saying i'll [ __ ] in. your yard son you feel me gang. we out here we staying alive baby that's. all there is to it. we stand alive on the lord's blood drive. son. you know i'm that f i'm that freaking. jam pirate dog. i'll suck that jelly boy right out your. freaking nephew's. neck you know this. you know what i'm saying i'll get that.
she's. herbs boy i'll suck that that preserves. right out your grandmother's freaking. spinal column boy you know l5s. yum baby you feel me i'm getting it and. let's start this podcast today baby i. got that raspy voice. and a lot of y'all already wet from it. baby a lot of y'all already greased up. down in that bottom knuckle baby you. know what i'm saying. that weiner and a lot of y'all fellas. probably already sadly i mean not sadly. it's okay and it's good if you are.
but some of y'all already probably. dripping off that bag from daddy. making y'all damn baby but. that's what it is. what it is what it ain't does the baby. need a spank let's go. you know it and i know it.
[Music]. feels real good after i've been. [Music]. it feels so good to have a brand new. [Music].
[Music]. well i just moved up to lucky street. when the mayor. came and said to me. [Music]. and it's plain to see between you and me. [Music].
[Music]. i'm in ohio. [Music].
and what it ain't does the baby does the. baby. need a spank that's eddie 9 volt. right there 89 v with the come up. and i actually went to see them play the. other night. over there in um. out in the central east i went and saw.
tried to see them. and i got there late because that's the. kind of guy i am. you know hell i'd be late to everything. man i. you know i climbed my own coughing late. there'll be people out there at my. funeral. and i climb i'll show up like oh sorry. guys. you know traffic. you know where i was just you know my. hair was wet.
and then i'll get in there i i'll climb. it and cough and everybody okay go on. about your thing. you know. uh having me a liquid death i gotta keep. that pole. moist baby i gotta keep that um i gotta. keep my spout. uh lavished up because my. throat i was out in. phoenix out there the rally in the. valley people are fired up out there.
about their hoops team. and they're playing hoops out there they. got a lot of brothers out in the desert. and i think one white. and they hooping the hell out of the. damn ball out there and uh. and that's it and so everybody's fired. up out there and. and i was out there i was out there and. uh. man it was dude it was definitely. uh it was it was it was a good time good. time out there i stayed at a. like this kind of sober living place.
while i was there and it was. they had a gu i like one night they had. somebody got in a motorcycle. accident and they came to the door like. the police came. and uh and i felt kind of bad because. the day before we were all going to the. gym. if you've never been to a sober living. sometimes when you're there everybody. you get in a van and you all go. somewhere together. because you just that's who you are.
you know it's like uh it's like a. daycare but for adults. that. are. that would sometimes rather probably. have drugs than lunch. so if you're like lunchtime and somebody. shot up. it's like that sort of camaraderie that. sort of club. style style and so um.
so anyway we got there i got there and. uh because i went to this therapy thing. for a week to this like kind of. intensive therapy place because you know. me bro. i got uh i either have something i. either got you know i'm always. put pressing the gas on that something's. wrong with me pedal you know. so i'm in that freaking hov lane bro.
something's wrong with everybody you. know what i'm saying i'm bringing it's. all aboard so anyway i met this sober. living dude they got um. oh god they had it's like you know it's. regular people. if you ever been to one it's a real. hodgepodge of america. it's kind of like a lost and found. but a couple more lost. it's lost heavy and so i'm there you. know i roll up. and uh they got a there's one guy 65-ish.
you know. and whenever you ask him anything hey. man what's going on he's like just being. just. this is just staying sober this thing is. over. what you're doing is going to be over. this he would put his hands up like it. was like the police were. like every time you were like hey man is. there any milk out of just. being sober you know not from around. here like. everything was like i remember like one. time i. just asked him a question you know i was. like hey what's the weather like and he.
handed me his license and registration. so you know there's some real you know. america's top miscreants you know it's a. real it's. it's regular folks man you know and. i could have stayed in a hotel or motel. or. um hell i could have been homeless if i. wanted to but i chose to be. here there where i was. so yeah it was wild they had us uh uh. acidic jewish dude i don't know if you. ever even.
seen this this guy. had on like. all these coats he had like uh. he looked like he looked like. like biggie smalls. but like biggie smallsburg kind of. like he had on like he had on like a a. jacket. it was so thick it was a hundred and. probably 11 degrees out there.
you know you could feel a [ __ ] i mean. it feel i felt like there was a dragon. outside. that's the levels of. air heat. because the air will hold heat the air. is just really just a briefcase for damn. heat or cold. you know that's mother nature's. briefcase man. the air because that's where she puts.
all of her [ __ ]. you know but anyway so this fella man he. was as. i mean he was you know this little. gamble spinner was about as damn jewish. as you could get he had on. he he had on the hat the hat had on a. hat. he had like he yeah he uh. and if you haven't seen hasidic jewish. person you got to look it up. because i'd never seen it i'd seen it. maybe you know in the distance.
i'd seen like one of these hj's at a. distance but i'd never seen up close. you know and this fella he had on the. head he had on the dr. the drapes the curtains he had on the. door. he had on nine it was he had on 19. layers of clothing he had socks his. socks were wearing brassieres like. he had i can't even imagine. he was wearing about four loads of. laundry.
and he shows up and he's like hi and it. was uh it was 119 degrees. and if you don't know anything about. hasidic culture. they can't drive on. uh the sabbath on like from friday. sundown i think until saturday sundown. so these fellas these bad boys and girls. they got a walk. so this dude had basically. i mean he'd probably come from mars.
you could hear his like. his shoe or it was just whatever it was. just like. he's like hi it's hot. like yeah it's hot man and so ever you. know people's air body you know it's a. damn sober living some do you know. one guy in the kitchen i'm like oh man. we're having dinner like this salad is. so good and he's like yeah. it's really good i was dead for 30. minutes two weeks.
ago so everything's good all right damn. okay bro. okay man down so you really. you really tasting this ranch you're. really tasting. this fat free ranch today and you you. know. you're really enjoying and appreciating. and gratitude in that uh. that ranch um. but this is so uh. what uh it was cool they had like a.
little um. place to swim in the back and it was so. hot the water you got in the water it. was like being in uh um. it was like hiding in somebody's mouth. say you had. say you were playing hide-and-go-seek. with people. and you somebody was uh had a heat. stroke. a real big person big big so. probably 11 feet tall maybe 600 pounds.
and you hid in their mouth. during uh hide and go seek and you hid. in their mouth. that would be what the heat was like. that hot you know. somebody who had a heat stroke and was. also. um they were late. there was also somebody was pouring heat. on them. somebody had two bags of damn heat and. was just filling them [ __ ] up with it. warming them. um so that was wild.
uh and then so the crazy thing is so. we're all going to the gym one day and. this one fella had gotten a new. motorbike. and he's kind of coasting through the. red lights and just living life you know. and uh and you know and i respect no. helmets because. the lord is looking for some people. and everybody wants to be alive and. everything and.
and i get it but we don't. know. what it's like when you die. i mean it must here's the thing it's so. good i bet. it's so good nobody's coming back from. it. there was a couple ghosts i think that. came back allegedly from the. 1700s or whatever but them [ __ ]. apparently they fixed heaven up because.
nobody's been coming back name the last. ghost you even heard about. you know ray charles maybe or somebody i. don't even know who. i mean he's not a ghost i mean he's. blind but that's that's not a ghost a. ghost is if you can't see them. so he's like a reverse ghost you know. but um but anyway. so we're out there we're crew we're. going to the gym in the.
van you know if you do sober living just. you know you that dirty grade school. class you know you're just that. you know you're a little more lost than. fam. and so we rolling out and this other. fellow got a motorcycle. and so he's zipping in zoodad and doing. this and doing that and stunting letting. daddy. and i tell the other guys in the van i. said hey uh. it's i said i used to talk about organ. donation.
because my sister make sure my head is. all right. my sister got an organ when i was a. child and she got a. liver she got liver and uh. which i wouldn't got i would have got. two hearts you know. you're like hey what are you doing i'm. like hey man throw another freaking. throw another pump in here you know what. i'm saying but we all be running hot. dude all the dance moves you could do if.
he was double-hearted. uh but but so anyway the um. the uh so so anyway this guy's skirting. and stuff and go we're all headed to the. gym. this guy's skirting around on this on. his bike. and uh and i say man guys you know i. said he's he's really. reckless you know he's a reckless man. out here. and i said a lot of organ donors. the next day i come home and uh.
the the fella the police had shown up. and the fella had been in a accident. in a coma or comma. you know they're both pauses. and and we're like. why i'm like am i predicting the future. right now. so it was just you know and i hope he's.
in. i i you know i need to check and see if. he's i'm gonna text somebody right now. see if the guy still comb it up. yeah i'm gonna see if he's okay uh so. so anyway i don't they had a candlelight. vigil like on the third night. the full uh the fifth night uh it was. cool we got to sit in there and watch. like some basketball games together. and hockey uh the canadians.
you know those frogs bro i don't know if. anybody. follows hockey but it'd be awesome to. cheer for the canadians if. everybody else in canada didn't hate him. that's the weird thing. montreal is like kind of that french bad. boy. you know it's like everybody else is in. a big fight and then you got some dude. over there smoking a cigarette and. sucking on the freaking. on the on the dirty side of a crepe you. know what i'm saying that back hole baby. that back jaw.
you know somebody freaking uh. you know sneaking into a crepe all nasty. from the back dude. eat a crepe from the front you creep. and crepe and creep is just one letter. different bro. so if you want nasty eggs dog get them. french you feel me. get them french. praise god man and then the last day i'm. there the uh. hasidic guy shows up hello.
this dude had i mean i don't think he'd. ever seen reg non uh. sids you know non um hasidic. people because it's a real tight cult. it's basically like. they're like the uh. they're kind of like the financial. native americans kind of you know. they're real. or i don't they're like man they're real. religious. like way religious. like i was telling my friend josh wolfe.
about it and he said that hasidic people. don't even consider him jewish they're. like. you gotta be in there. but that guy they gave him a chapstick. somebody and he never used. it so for the next like 14 hours this. dude is over there just going hard bro. just going hard on some pink lemonade. baby. he had that pink lemonade chaps taking. everything about every nine seconds. you'd look over and he'd be like.
[Music]. dude that dude i think he by the time i. left and he had chapstick his whole. face he had chapstick his he. just couldn't stop man you know and. thankfully we're all you know everybody. that's in the places. had some issues with addiction so at. least he's in the right place now. but and also at least if the sun hits. him now out there he'll have a little. bit of uh. of a block on him you know.
because that's. hello dude it was anyway. it was needless to say it was a wild. week. uh but what else we had. uh mario gutierrez if you get to check. out that jockey episode. man it was real fascinating to hear. about a jockey. and just to see the on the horse you.
know that it's on the horse you know. like. you ever get the sushi they put the rice. down first. you know they put that little baby bed. of rice bruh. and then they hit that [ __ ] that little. dose of fish man. you feel me they really just laced that. thing up with that little freaking. it's just like a little baby sleeping. bag of pescado on their fish. get you a little tuna on there or. something a little salmon. you know some people go eel perverts.
but i don't i don't. but that's kind of how it is with that. jockey that that the horse is that rice. and then it. set that thing right on there. you know so it was just real interesting. here what it's like to be that little. baby bird. and be going for the prize and getting. the money. for the rich people and it's really just.
rich people saying hey won't you ride on. this for me that's. i mean let's it's rich people paying. small people to ride on an animal. which is very roman sounding. i think but what do i know. my nephews are in town uh i'm gonna try. to have them. on this podcast at the end of the. episode. what will that be like i don't know.
but i think it even if it's just for a. few minutes i think it'll be. entertaining to them. and uh yeah that could be fun man. uh got an announcement to make gonna. tape a netflix special coming up. and that's going to be uh in nashville. tennessee. we will tape it in the central east. um it just the way it worked out. i was looking to go to dallas but i'm. also. very excited to be in nashville for it.
so that's going to be a real excitement. time and uh. and i just feel lucky i feel lucky to. that i have the opportunity. you know to get out there and um. and we'll light up the dark arts that's. what it's going to be. you know so if you've already seen the. dark arch you might not want to see it. if you want to see the dark arts in a. theater. and you haven't seen that we'll be. taping that over at the ryman and we're. going to do a couple of shows and uh. and i'm excited about it man i'm really.
excited about it come on hello. i'm upstairs um. upstairs. still thinking of tour names return of. the rat. has been ringing around in my head. return of the rat what else can i talk. what else can i tell you that happened. um.
oh got an update that fella is still. oh he's still in a coma oh and he has. brain damage actually but. so man. my heart goes out to him and. it just you know he. this guy was a word the second you saw. this guy he was a warrior. you know he's just one of those people. that just.
some people just are so fearless. you know this fellow was just tatted up. just freaking he was a real. warrior and there's something to be said. for going out hard. and i'm gonna keep him in uh in my. prayers man and. uh and hopefully he bounces back but. just a crazy. timing just what a week at that place. you know. what a week at that place and and it.
just reminded me how much i. i i don't spend that much time around. people. and so it was nice just to be around. people. you know to sit and watch the game split. a little orange bruh. oh you want some orange oh you want some. orange. oh this dude's nodding off bro he's been. on them heroin hitters dog wake him up. and [ __ ] hit him with that vitamin c. baby slice dog. that anaranjado and i think that means. orange.
in spanish what else is going on i've. been trying not to masturbate man. and uh. and i haven't been having any luck with. it or i have been having luck with it or. but i haven't i've been masturbating. that's what i'm saying so. i'm not bad or anything i'm not a bad. guy i just. been masturbating man. sometimes i get squirreled out.
you know sometimes i just get so like at. night sometimes i get so squirreled out. and i feel like the devil just put damn. 70 squirrels in my [ __ ] arms. and i just i get like that and i just. have to damn. i just have to make something come you. know. and i hate to say it like that but i. just have to damn. you know i hate to use that language but. i just i got to make something.
you know i just feel like i got to make. something spray. and i'm glad i'm you know at that point. i'm glad i'm doing it to myself and not. you know on you know on taking somebody. else's body or. you know doing anything wild you know so. so yeah sometimes you just gotta you. know all you got is that. that that little baby griddle you know. and you got to grill your own cake.
and that's what i've been doing. sometimes so i would like to back off of. that especially in the summer man you. don't want to be jerking yourself down. and then the heat's hitting you're like. oh [ __ ]. i feel like a raisin and i don't have. any coom in my body bro i don't have any. of that. freaking nut that newt. so i'll tell you this though it's a not. so. fun fact americans overspend on. insurance by. 21 billion dollars every year. not shocked i don't know if you've met.
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tweet or post why you should be the. recipient. and mention at acre underscore gold. again that's get acre gold dot com slash. theo where you can figure it all out. thank you acre gold. for supporting the show. [Music]. you know i've been having a tough time. with um the sonic commercial. is that the only place that we are. eating now.
is that it every commercial i see is. just sonic. it's like hey is that the best we can do. as a family that was to. sit together in a car somewhere. there's some kid he's like he's 11. genders he's got that coin thing on his. belt or her belt or on his neck. he's on suicide watch he's on a uh. a ransom list he's an orphan he's a. he's a burn victor you have it's always.
somebody that works there they have. every impediment you could have. you know the guy been hit by a car he's. been hit by a truck. you know it's like uh it's definitely. somebody that god is looking for. okay that's who is the employee. and they used to roller skate out to you. you know kind of cute. a little scary when the girl coming out. of roller skates is pregnant that's the. spooky one you're like okay.
we just wanted a couple blizzards we. don't want no zygote but. i hope henrietta don't trip on one of. these cracks in the pavement. you know we'll just you know god forbid. you know she'd lose her child because we. wanted a damn mcflazzle. and then the family of families sitting. in their dads in the front. i just wonder what is this like for kids. now. at least when i was a kid we went to the. pizza hut.
we went in there my dad got a beer or. pulled one out of his. pocket that he brought in there and. asked for a cold glass. my mom sat. kinda near my dad i don't think she. cared about him but i do. think she wanted pizza. i really do and we would sit in there. they would give us some quarters my dad. always had quarters.
you know it was all he was older they. had quarters they used to have quarters. and he would get a couple out give them. to us we'd go play the video games. we lose sometimes we [ __ ] up we put yeah. it takes three quarters you put in one. you're [ __ ] you're the k you know you. didn't read the direction you're just. hitting the button nothing happens. you tell the guy there he doesn't know. he makes pizza you tell the delivery. guy's going on you're like the quarter. he's like uh i'm.
you know i'm high i just got robbed. you're like well. we're getting robbed everybody's. getting robbed. and then we played a game then when we'd. have anymore we would look under the. machines we would. my one of us would we would use all of. our little baby strength to lift the. machine up somebody would reach under. there. pull out half a hamster full of hats to. pull out half a hamster of hair. four barrettes.
you know and and maybe uh maybe a. quarter. maybe a quarter comes out with it. then we get the pizza the deep dish. pizza hut used to have the best pizza. pizza hut is a crust of its former self. now they're shooting the [ __ ] crust. uh a crust up with cheese it's like uh. you know it's like that bob baffert. scandal you know you don't know what.
they're injecting into this [ __ ] to get. you to believe in it. i remember when the crust stood on its. own. you know when is a real italian gonna. make a pizza place. that has some freaking zagoon huh. when you're gonna put some real gonads. on the [ __ ] pie. so we can enjoy it again this [ __ ] out. here domino it's just a flavor it's not.
even a thing it's not even. it's barely pizza. and sonic you're sitting dad's in the. front it's like the best we can do as a. family is dry. sit in the car you got the kid in the. back he has probably. asthma and autism and asthmatism he. [ __ ] can't breathe or know what's. going on if there's loud noises. it just you know dad's up there spilling. chili on himself.
mom's over there huffing birth control. you know it just i just don't know. it used to be at least on the. commercials they were around a. dinner table. now it's like hey drive over here. you know park here by the freaking busy. road. oh smell the exhaust while little.
lawrence in the back seat. chokes on his damn grilled cheese. i don't know maybe i'm salty about i. don't know why i'm salty but i like it. i like it it takes forever though at. least there used to be a roller skating. girl. you know you see a couple young tits. come out on some wheels. you know make you touch your [ __ ]. crotch for a second. but now you know who knows what it is.
now it's just damn you know. it's some kid he comes to the way he. tells you he's an orphan. he's like you know i'm an orphan i'm. like do you have the burgers. okay we're not here. for anything but the burgers. do you have the burgers. do you have the burgers. [Music].
hey do you have. the burgers. he's like i used to be in a wheelchair. you're like do you have a. guy. i can't live downstairs anymore baby. because you know where i am. amen baby praise god rat king. oh what else.
what else happened um i got some plants. i got some dang marigolds. i got some azaleas. i put in i installed them bastards. went over there to home depot and. and the crazy thing about home depot. they give you that cart in the plant. section. it has like 12 wheels but it also only. somehow has. two wheels you know it like does.
it doesn't go any direction really. it looks like kind of a piece of a. merry-go-round that got taken. you're like i know where i'll just take. this right over. you freaking kill some contractor you're. just trying to buy a damn. gratioli. what else man let's go to a call we got.
a lot of cool stuff. here's something that happened in the. news everything had a sign. and down goes tony martin oh tony martin. you hate to see this you know and. i i don't know what i think of this yet. i don't have to take a day to process. what i think of the spectators on the. side of the road but. yeah unfortunately tony martin and that. is the uh. tour de france you know. which is basically steroiding and biking. i've met other friends in it they're all. this whole thing is just a damn dope.
show i mean it's basically marilyn. manson. but everybody's real athletic it's. everybody's out here. it's all just i mean they're drinking. each other's blood at night they're. doing it all. you know these people's on anti-freeze. over freeze death. dead decadent they're shooting 200 damn. things a decadent right into their damn. armpit. testosterone uh. everything these guys are fired up.
they're french and they're fired up. and somebody got in the way with a sign. i'm not going to say who it was it was a. woman. and i'm not going to say who was we. don't allegedly i don't know if they. know who it was yet. but some lady some meme. making [ __ ] whistle. okay and yeah i'm fired up today got in. the way. with a sign so they could get a cute. video.
while the french. okay no matter what you think about them. um are doing this [ __ ]. and i think they should have let the. guys. i think you almost got to let them go. back and run over the ladies legs with. the bite.
that's. it seems fair got some shows added. st louis we have it might be sold out. if it is we might add another one. cincinnati. you can get tickets charlotte you can. get tickets still. and durham chattanooga.
show added there knoxville wilmington. wilkes-barre. minneapolis richmond baltimore portland. maine. burlington vermont uh. albany show added buffalo. at klein hines music hall in columbus. we've added a show over there. and uh i'm gonna say thank you. man you know i think i was really scared.
over the pandemic. you know i said when i get back out. there will people come and see it. you know and so i'm excited to know that. uh. that you guys are coming in and i'm. gonna bring some heat man. i'm gonna bring a little bit of heat so. get your chapstick on your face okay. because daddy's about to blaze them. eyebrows off you know what i'm saying. gang gang boy.
i'll eat one of my damn nuts bruh. you know what i'm saying and say i. didn't fam gang [ __ ]. all right but that was a tour de france. and that's what's going on. that's what happens when you're [ __ ]. around out there. so you know uh. and everybody it's just you it's just. we've come to that place where it's more. about the. picture of the thing than even the event.
is going on it's more about the meme. it's more about the moment. it's interesting because it's the. minutiae it's more. but also would anyone even know about. the tour de france if this lady wasn't. standing there with a sign. would anybody even know. that these freaking roid monsters who. were blowing their nuts out.
remember lance armstrong blew one of his. damn nuts out. shooting up. i mean that you know if he's staying if. he stands on his head that's like a. it's like a seal with a ball on his nose. you know. that dude's one riding bro and he. he and at least we knew because he won. so many.
but if the sign [ __ ] doesn't maybe it. could all be a ploy. [Music]. it could all be a ploy to get us to. watch. so here's a couple of video questions. that came in i want to thank you guys. for sending them. in what's up guys. leo quick question my roommate's dating. a roller derby chick she's 6'3. has a pretty crazy mullet it's nothing. like yours. but um she every time she comes home.
uh with my roommate she wants to fight. me tickle me. she's always saying really rude things. to me what do you think i should do. about this because i can't hit her. i could easily beat the [ __ ] out of her. but she's pretty big she wants that. guy should i treat her like a dude or. should i just treat her like some weirdo. at the gas station. you know i was at the gas station the. other night man and it's. [ __ ] is lit out there. there's a fella there i swear was bobby. lee okay.
and bobby will deny it because he's. sleeping you know. no wonder you live forever if you're. asian if you sleep. 21 hours a day. then you're probably gonna live a long. time. so i think a big gal like that take her. back man. i think once a woman gets up over six. two they ought to say it's a man.
and i'll say that again i think once a. woman gets up over six. two there should be. you know i don't know how tall you are. brother that sent this in blake. you know and thank you for the question. brother gang praise god. don't let the lord miss you man. you know i told someone i say you know. one time i said man i'm really looking. for the lord and they said the lord. ain't lost.
and that hit me that hit me right in the. dick man. sorry man i'm really and i'm not sorry. you know i got to let some of this. stress on buddy i have had so much. stress. in my neck and top of my right part of. my back for a year and a half. it will not go away i do not know what. is going on. i'm 20 days off caffeine right now. thinking maybe that could help.
so but i'm not complaining here's what. i'm saying bro i think at a certain. point of five three guys should be able. to fight a 6-2 woman. and you're thinking about it too right. now and you're not really disagreeing. so i think yeah. i think you definitely should not. you know i think you can take her back. though i think you can like.
wrestle her you know when the times are. changing man it's trans now it's like. they got. woman's fighting men they got sheep. fighting people. lamar odom beat the last bit of. sexuality out of damn. uh aaron. uh chalmer. so what the hell you know that's where. we are. would it be shocking i think as long as. you put it online and let people bet on.
it you got you could [ __ ] attack her. at the house if you want. but i don't know that. you know i would ask your friend and see. what he thinks man i think you have a. middle person there. but i would definitely wrestle with her. you know or tickle that [ __ ] real hard. dawg. you know so praise god brother thank you. brother. thank you for being a part of my life.
um i'll have my nephews in here in a few. minutes let me get into a little more. here's a video question that came in. these are all video ones. what's up mr vaughn charles here from. pemberton bc. what's up pepperdine bc man um. not sure that is before christ. [Music]. so i don't even know i you know and i. believe in god i i don't know.
i don't know where this maybe this is a. pepperdine breezy man i'm gonna have to. look it up. maybe go to a service there or something. man um. thank you brother onward got a quick. question for you you ever tried a. snowmobile up before. they're a big thing out here just. wondering if you ever give it a shot or. what you think of them. gang gang gang baby snowmobiling. and that's the lord if you can't walk on. water i guess at least you could. freaking ride on uh. frozen water and so i like what you guys.
are doing out there and seeing what god. likes y'all being out. in the cold you know god will let you. out in the cold but. at a certain point he shuts it down and. you die. that's the risky part about it baby is. that second part. so let's see what we got right here. here's a question that came in from a. uh pretty much a white guy. what up theo this is jackson larson. coming at you from. grand rapids michigan grand rapids maybe.
good place to get some uh food at night. and um and wish you had a different wife. i noticed that a little bit when i was. there people kind of. you know hugging their wife but kind of. looking around so. thank you jackson onward just wondering. if you got any advice for a. couple of dudes uh renting a house. together i know you've been a uh. an adult tenant and. i just wondered if you got any advice. for uh.
i don't know just living on your own for. the first time figuring that all out. yeah i think if you's a fella living on. your own you got to really have a good. time. and this one thing that goes back to. even just being at that sober living. place last week. i want to have a good time you're around. people utilize that. don't isolate you know in college i live. with a fella and. he was kind of an exotic dancer kind of. guy and he he tried to kill himself he. jumped out of a.
out of the window one story building we. were on first floor dude. tried to jump out and didn't do [ __ ]. just got stuck outside but um. but yeah man i think you just got to. spend time together man. you know living on your own you're not. on your own. you're with somebody so you got somebody. in there. and set up times where you check on each. other make sure people aren't dead in. the house. you know hey buddy if it's 1 pm you.
haven't heard from me come in there. you know take my damn pressure you know. what i'm saying make sure i'm good. so praise god brother stay alive um. see what else we got that came in. olympian who turned back on flag during. anthem says she feels. set up by u.s track and field oh i saw. this gwen berry turned away from the. flag while the anthem played. she later draped a t-shirt that said. activist athlete.
um yeah. athletes can do whatever they want you. know i think. we definitely have been through a time. where. we got used to as a country for a long. time the athletes being happy to. represent the country they were in. represent america um. it's so funny there's a lot of people. who are like [ __ ] america but. america is just a society that's all it.
is. and there's a lot of people out there. um who act like society like it's all. some big plan against them. it's just society you know. uh the activist athlete thing i think. some of it gets a little bit old. you know it's like look everybody people. have already done it. just play your sport.
that's kind of how i feel a little bit i. also feel like she can do whatever she. wants. i feel like she'll just turn a lot of. people off. some companies or something will come. along and use her to. be a voice for them to get some product. pushed across. and that'll be that. you know now though it's a lot more. pressure if she doesn't even win. she got third place. third place yes it's great it's still.
the olympics. but let's get first place. you didn't even beat two other countries. okay. you're like my country sucks like uh. it would have been better if you'd. gotten first your country would be. better. so i don't know i. i just i'm not i'm from the time where. man it would have been anything to be. able to perform for the u.s this isn't. my country it doesn't respect my views. it's just a group of people trying their.
best that's all the country is. and she just wants to make it about her. that that's what i think it is. and that's just more the society it goes. back to the lady at the freaking. with the signage at the tour de france. she just wants to make it about her. you know it's just like how can i make. this about.
me. and in some ways it's just kind of the. the generations that we're in right now. we want to have our own platform. oh this is who i am but this is also how. i feel. um i mean i do it here on on this. but there is an interesting thing. because we long have expected athletes. just to be an athlete like you're at. your job.
but i do feel like it's kind of i feel. like it's disgraceful. to america that's what i feel like i. feel like yes you can do it. um but there's just a lot of people. there's no gratitude for where we. are you know. the national anthem upset her it was hot. out there i get it. some of those things look it's too hot. maybe they should have put them under a. thing she would have been more. comfortable. i was thinking about what i should do.
barry added eventually i just stayed. there and just swayed i put my shirt. over my head it was real disrespectful. i knew they did that on purpose but. it'll be all right i'll see what's up. i see what's up yeah. look i've had this mentality people are. out to get me it's all about. me um i don't know. i think get first get first and then. we'll talk. that's kind of how i feel on it. but it makes me not want to cheer for. her i'm an american.
you know i'm an american. and. you know and i want to say thanks to. everybody who's working right now. and actually trying to work there's so. many places there's nobody showing up to. work apparently. you know i get uh groceries and in the. bags there's these things it's like. we will interview you on the spot today. people don't want that job man. people don't want to work. so if you are working.
that's awesome i commend you. you know i'm working too and i'm trying. my best and some people say well so what. some of us can't get jobs everybody can. get a job. you know i used to live with a felon he. would jerk off at night while his family. was asleep. you know and i know some of y'all know. about it and i would elbow crawl out to. the kitchen and. and uh and see what was in the fridge.
try to do it without him knowing you. know he'd be at the computer and i'd. reach in the fridge real slow get my. hand in there and stop the light thing. and then open the door and try and get. what they had in there. they usually had olives and tostitos. they were wealthy but they didn't show. it in their food. they did other [ __ ] boating. that man said you always need to have a. job. you always need to have a job as a human.
you need to be working. just as a soul as a thing you need to be. doing something. contributing to society it's just. society. people like [ __ ] america this guy go. somewhere else. go yeah and especially if you get third. place go somewhere else and get third. [ __ ] we number one here. biden orders air strikes against. facilities used by iran back militia. groups. i don't know a time about this type of.
thing but. he probably thought he was ordering. lunch you know. he probably dude i just see him like. every couple of minutes just take a. pocket full of children's hair out of. his like a handful of children's hair. out of his pocket and just. just get that hit baby what. huh hello. who knows man that guy is so old bro. look and i'm telling you.
i grew up with an old dad that starting. to fall apart. okay are we pretending he's not falling. apart. the dude can't get through a freaking. solid idea. he's mupping it around it's not a safe. place to be i don't feel like. i really don't feel like it's a safe. place to be. because it just feels like if the leader. could be controlled so much.
by anyone who even tells him it's nap. time. anyone with a freaking bootleg golden. girls episode. i want to tell you right now that dinner. time can be. chaotic that's right but with freshly. it's easy their chefs take care of your. meals a few nights a week. and take the pressure off of you we're. all trying to get in shape and eat right.
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i've been unhappy a lot and and i try to. battle it. and um and sometimes it's a lifelong. battle. and sometimes it's it's just a momentary. battle you just need to get through the. moment. and i'm talking about better help. better help if you don't want to go to. the therapist in your town or. you don't have one near you but you need. help.
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and join the over one million people who. have taken in. charge of their mental health with the. help of an. experienced professional yep. this podcast is sponsored by better help. and this past weekend listeners get 10. off their first month oh thank you. better help. at betterhelp.com t-h-e-o. all right let's hit one more call here. and then we'll get to my little nephs. what up theo this.
is molly from lost wisconsin um i want. to say. thank you for the existence of your. podcast and for the existence of you you. really. um inspire me to. talk to people it's not always been easy. for me to. have normal conversation i got a lot of. that social anxiety. um but i listen to your podcasts every. single day almost or. king of the sting or something like that. and it kind of. inspires me to just let the conversation. go where it might and it's so you don't.
have to overthink anything. um but anyways. i have a question about traveling my. birthday is next month i. it's my golden birthday and i kind of. want to take a solo trip somewhere in. the states just for the weekend. i know you've traveled alone a lot and. so i'm wondering where you think. some of your favorite places to like. listen to music. uh meet some people go to bars maybe a. museum or park i don't know maybe get. some. non-local gold member. for my golden birthday i don't know um.
okay she's trying to catch a little bit. of pain on the road i feel you baby girl. and thank you for the kind words. i want to say that first and foremost. and uh. you seem like a decent gal and um even. better than decent. and um and. yeah if you're trying to get it all. you're trying to get a food a drink. and maybe get curled up with somebody. you know maybe get squirreled out you. know with that hard freaking uh.
squirrel that pants squirrel bro you. know that one that comes. taxidermied by the lord baby erection. um. you're in wisconsin. what is a fun. i feel like in the summer. minneapolis feels like a fun spot. if you're gonna go to like a city but.
that's probably close to minneapolis. wisconsin. it shows capital i think or no is that. for uh. madison um. you don't want to go somewhere too hot. that's the thing unless there's water. there. you know south carolina is pretty dope. they have like folly beach they got some. really great beaches over there. i used to go out there a good bit you. can actually do some surfing. um but if school's not in.
i don't know what some of the nightlife. is there is like. the food is really great it's hot as. hell though. denver what is denver like in the summer. [ __ ] i don't know lady. you know honestly like i don't know. but happy birthday to you and um. and yeah i feel you with the social. anxiety man this. i think us a lot of it is a byproduct. because we're less connected now.
as humans so what used to feel kind of. normal. to our parents is awkward to us. you know i've been dating a gal a while. back and then she texted me and. ended things and that [ __ ] made me mad. man because but. that part of me didn't know she's 28 or. something i don't know and so i was like. well maybe she just. that's her they do that.
but then you're just sitting around one. you know it's like. i don't know what i'm talking about. jesus christ all right thank you very. much molly. and you seem like a great lady and you. be swell out there and stay. safe too you know if you if you're a. brave woman you're going out there by. yourself what's a great city to go to. toronto is awesome if you haven't been. to toronto i think toronto. man i really love it you know i just. they're still screwing around up there.
with the covet [ __ ] it's like what are. you doing. it's barely real figure this [ __ ] out. it's barely real figure it out. so let me see if there's anything else. we had a lot of great stuff i don't want. to. like just not talk about anything um. let me see hey theo this is adam from.
salt lake again man. um also i i forgot to ask you um. adam thank you for calling man and salt. lake is real good man. if you like looking at white people dude. you. will love it well. i've been up in them dark arts you know. i was just wondering too i forgot to ask. you like. like i've been i've been trying to look. around. for for some aas and uh some ma.
meetings like like what what do you look. for in. in going into an aaa where you can. really. kind of feel comfortable about what you. want to talk talk about and uh. thank you for the call man this is a. cool question. my experience with going into an aaa. meeting. or my suggestion i would offer to. anybody who asked about it would be. go to three meetings try out three. different ones.
make sure that one of them is a speaker. meeting where somebody is speaking for. like an extended period of time. it could be 10 minutes or 15 minutes or. sometimes it's 30 minutes. 40 minutes but you want to hear. somebody's story. uh and then try some other ones try one. that's a co-ed try one that's maybe just. men or women. if you're one of the other.
and. uh and now and then and then make a. decision for yourself. just because they're different so you. want to get it they're not all the same. and i would just say listen for the. difference listen for the similarities. not the differences that's what they say. listen for the similarities and not the. differences. because it's easy for me a lot of times. to sit there and judge things. you know instead of be like what is.
what am i okay with in here instead of. finding all the reasons already why i. can't stand something. because then i'm just not giving myself. a chance uh. but it's it's really interesting to go. to whether you feel like you have a. problem or not it's really interesting. to go to um. some type of 12-step meeting so best of. luck over there brother i'm sure there's. a lot of good ones in salt lake. um all right.
hey theo my name's will and i'm from. charlotte north carolina. what's up big willy and i just graduated. uh gang baby that's a dub on the board. baby. big will getting out there in society. welcome to society well.
go class 21 and i just wanna let you. know. that i use some of your words as a. uh just in your quote you know um. i remember i was listening to your. podcast one day and some some kid he was. like 21 or something called in. and he was like hey yeah if you had any. worse you younger stuff what would you. say. and i was sitting there listening to. podcasts and you like. you're talking about how you just go for. it and some of your exact words.
try to use my finger quote here it is. you go said ask her out. no matter who she is whether she's a job. a new city. an actual person whether she's an. opportunity or fear. whatever she is man ask her out and. that's right. ladies and gentlemen just wanted to know. man and. uh honestly one of my dreams to be on. the podcast. and maybe one day i'll be there i just. want you know that. your words and even the crazy stuff. you've ever said and the.
most deep stuff you've ever said it's. all it's all stuck with me. and i just wanna let you know that. you're very important. uh just role model my life thanks. thanks man that's real that's real real. sweet of you bro or not sweet of you i'm. saying bro no homo dog but you feel me. dog. you know that's nice you man i. appreciate that.
yeah man i appreciate that you know we. all want to know we all want to have. those moments where we. know somebody lets us know that they. care you know. and those always hit me so hard because. i just didn't have a lot of that as a. child and people. you know i had a lot of trauma as a kid. and people say well sometimes you're. like well you talk about that a lot. or don't dwell on it i don't it dwells. on me. you know and so.
i mean even if i look at the career. choice i made i needed like. i needed people to care about me but. even at a distance from a stage like i. needed. i had to keep this amount of control. over how i let. someone see me and care about me. um anyway kind of diatribe in there and. i don't want to get too. too out there before i get in with my. nephews coming in. and these little sugar tanks in here.
uh but thank you man i appreciate that. man that means a lot dude. that means a lot that uh that you care. and i think if you're able to express to. people how you care about them man. and we've lost that along the way just. letting people know hey. you know you mean something to me we. you know like the woman on the on the. podium with the. athletic thing what if she just said. i'm so happy to be a part of this.
country. it doesn't always represent everything. that i feel or say. but i'm happy to be in a place where. we can all feel and say freely. but maybe she did that by just saying. what she wanted to say i don't know. i don't know man i don't know exactly. what i'm thinking but thank you man i'm. excited uh. that you're graduating good luck out.
there in the world and yeah ask her out. man. you know guys you know it's like you ca. you know who a guy's girlfriend or wife. is. it's the person they were brave enough. to ask out yeah whatever it is you go we. gotta ask her out. we gotta ask her out man. dude couple weeks ago girl on the beach. i freaking she was leaving to go to her. car i. strategically left at the same time okay. am i a. stalker i don't think i am okay.
it was daytime um it was hot out. if i stalked i would do it in a colder. climate. or time time time it. you know night time um. but i i started talking to her. we had a mutual friend i got her ig i. messaged her. she didn't message me back okay. so first of all kate why don't you.
eat one of my nuts. and secondly i did what i could. i showed up you know when i was. and for like 40 minutes i was sitting. far away from her on the sand and i was. trying to think of a reason to go over. there and then i saw a bird over there. and i was gonna try to go and look at. this bird and like. but then i'm like what [ __ ] guy he's. like hey. look at this bird hey what are you doing.
here you know like i just couldn't think. of a line to come off of the bird. hey you know oh man there's birds out. here. what do you what do you know anything. about them. you know i just couldn't think of. anywhere to go with it so that's where. i'm at. my family said i don't want to spend a. ton of time on here but i do want to get. my nephews up here. i'll be right back uh with my nephews. zephy is one of them's name and the. other one is named. max all right sitting here right here.
actually with my two nephews right here. a couple young buckaroos. and uh tell me about yourself let's. start with you brother. my name is max and i'm eight years old. and i'm taking an eight-hour road trip. from louisiana. okay and what brought you here to uh to. this area what brought you out here to. the central east brother. you looking for work or what no my. parents said that. um we were gonna go because it's a.
summer. break and um we have nothing else to do. at home. okay and this fellow over here and how. do you know him this other guy. oh he's my brother okay are you guys. friends also would you say max or what. do you feel like. no okay we can be friends but we can be. mortal enemies as well. mostly mortal enemies though all right. and your name bud. my name is zephy i am nine years old.
and um you looking for love. not not yet okay he stopped for like. three okay. that's fine man i've been there dude. i've definitely had times where i was. looking for. love and times where i wasn't did you. marry morgan wallin. i wouldn't marry i mean i don't think. both of us. prefer women yeah so but. i kind of get that i think if there were. if it were a different if we lived in a. different universe there could be a.
chance i don't know. i don't know if he how are you i don't. know how he can communicate with each. other if you lived in a different. universe. i don't know it's a great question man. it is a great question. if we live in a different universe i. don't know i guess we would probably it. was a great question i think you would. probably. because you have to create a way to get. there. like a shuttle ship or something like a. space travel or you could just. dream of killing city war they went it. was either an infinity. war or in game they went in. the ship with the guardians of the.
galaxy move this closer to you. and they broke suit and they broke. through the space and it created like a. yeah you have to break through space. yeah i'm look i'm not doing that. yeah i got enough going on here i mean. and there's like a space people could. do that because he's like albert. einstein i'm not doing what i'm saying i. just bought it. flowers i'm not doing second i'm doing. stuff at the house you bought a bunch of. flowers why does it say that truth. kind of fun twenty dollars because it. was a 120 dollar tree. what kind of flower you got like three. of them sean likes to spend that money.
what kind of flowers i'm not sure so let. me ask you a question guys are you guys. single men or what's let's go one at a. time here let's start with you zephy are. you single these days or what's. what's uh love looking like in your life. have you started thinking about girls or. that kind of. or what what happens at nine years old i. like thinking about. food okay yeah me too but like. i'm not i'm not that much of a. of a person that will start a.
conversation. i can sit and wait because i don't want. to be me. and to like and if somebody starts. talking to me. i just carry on and keep talking but. like. i usually don't like to engage in. conversations okay so you're more like. the you'll. you'll continue a conversation but you. won't start a conversation. yeah it's like if you're in a video game. you. land somewhere that is not contested but.
you're not afraid to fight. right like that okay okay i got it. and max what about you were you the kind. of guy will start a conversation do you. even know. how to communicate what is going on with. you i really don't know how to talk to. girls at all. okay um and i like this one girl in my. class but i get bullied. you get bullied by her no i get bullied. by everyone because i like girl because. i like. a girl dang yeah did you let her know or. not. it's at school but like i think i think.
i'm. done he he i think it's. what's everywhere what's every like. elementary school. crush you die you wait till. they they find out that they like you. that you like them. okay so how do you let someone know say. if there is a crush right. which is totally normal always boys you. just you you either ask your friend to. do it. or you write a note put it in your desk. and then leave school. yeah yeah that's my old move dude okay.
so i have this really funny story. or leave town that's what i would do. leave town i have this really funny. story that started at like the beginning. in the school year and we're still we. were still laughing at it until the end. okay and this one. this kid my my best friend who was my. best friend his name is um. randall no ocean okay he liked this girl. named clarice. stop it and they liked each other and. then we were like.
and then um so we're still laughing at. it for like the entire. school year and are they still together. i don't think. they didn't find each other but they're. probably what do you mean find each. other. i mean they have they they are they real. people guys. um to be real i have no idea okay it's. probably like a virtual assistant that. he uses of course that's what i was. gonna guess. now let's talk about some of you guys's. plans for the future i know you guys. right now. are you're nine years old you said zephy.
and max i can start. you're six years old yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah so. okay i can start yeah i just wanna know. some of your plans for the future. i want to be honest with you please i. want to be a foot doctor. oh really podiatrists they call it foot. man they call it. on the street wait a minute. what if the patient has foot fungus will. you eat it. look question will you eat the fun. [ __ ] guess or will you throw it away. do you know foot fungus tastes like goat. milk really i drink blood.
every day for blue cheese tastes like. goat milk i know i'm a friend that's. addicted to blue cheese. in my in my um inoculations. in my cereal um yeah this is not true. most of my friends. this isn't true and my cereal instead of. using milk i use. goat milk with foot fungus in it i'm. addicted to caramel. really yeah i i take bottles he's. addicted to. caramel out of it okay so you want to be. a foot doctor. and zephy what do you when you think. about your future and where you are now.
do you have any big plans do you have. any like what do you like what do you. kind of see yourself in the future a few. years down the road from now do you see. yourself kind of still living in the. same house do you see yourself having a. job. if it's a few years down. i'd probably. you gonna stay living with your parents. or are you gonna no want i'm gonna. move out when i have the money and stuff. okay and i want to move in to an. apartment. and get a job and a couple animals or.
something or what. uh i want to get a. uh is it legal to have a bobcat as a pet. i bet it is oh um i want to get a bobcat. or like. i really want a a cockatoo or a parakeet. because you can talk to them. funny story actually my aunt. and my mother funny story actually. had a parrot a red parrot and he would. and he would say they would always say.
like shut up ricky. and then and so and so um the parent. would always say. shut up ricky really and he would say. and the parent would say butthead. oh so the parrot is really he can he he. kind of has a. mind of his own huh yeah but it's like. an influence from his owners he's an. influencer. yeah i think so the parrot is yeah they. don't. the person's not on tick tock but no no.
the parent went viral like a few years. later. oh dad he is friends he went viral on. he's friends with. um bryce hall he actually cut bryce. hall's hair. who did a parrot oh really oh good. i could imagine that now let me ask you. guys my dad is lebron james. no he's not max how do you know that. this. let's talk about some some things you. guys are not good at i want you to each. share something everything in my life. what are you good at like eating and.
sleeping. okay and what are you not good at. everything. do you think you guys as parents will. stay together for a long time have you. guys talked about that or what does. their relationship seem like. uh yeah we joke around sometimes say. that they're cheating on each other. that's some reason. right max that's very. very you style but like at the same time. that's like a bad influence for your. children. i'm i don't have children but you're. like your children in the future.
my child is um actually what are you. gonna name your children. i'm gonna name them uh. goobert i'm gonna name them goofy and. goober. oh wow are they gonna be twins or female. or male they're gonna be. attack helicopters oh wow beautiful. i could see that actually seems very on. brand with where we're headed as a. society. yes what do you think zephy now when you. start to look at um.
the world today do you think the world's. headed in a good direction what are some. of your thoughts. um we need to stop the. old guys that wear rush. that wear shirts with russian flags on. them because i think they're american. communists. it's been said it's been rumored and i. think. stop pollution yeah sure but. yeah sure yeah sure global warming. global warming and. like like wow i'm just being serious and.
we're probably just being. like crazy but look i'm trying global. warming is nice when you're at the beach. when it's nice and hot. let's be honest but but and. in our in our reality global warming. isn't good right i agree with you. except when you're at the beach except. that but like. so here's the question is do you think. enough people are willing to give up. going to the beach and having a nice. time no. in order for the world not to global. warm no.
right yeah but like but most of the. people that go to the beach are like. adults and kids and most of the kids oh. what else would go a parrot. no an attack helicopter bro we we. brought our dogs driving the. who's driving the helicopter the attack. helicopter. the whole point of it being an attack. helicopter is because it drives. itself and crashes into everything and. blows stuff up but it's a more it's an. immortal helicopter. you guys are legends now i want to ask. you you're a legend. thank you and i want to ask you guys too.
you guys are. you know what age do you feel like you. might want to settle down kind of i know. you guys. settle down you mean like let myself go. yeah. oh what does that mean getting older i. know right now you guys try to take care. of your diet take care of your body. 37. i have a diet so 37 you're thinking. of. starting to just let it go huh yeah just. like james harden. 21 yeah he went to the party. and then he came back fat i think he had. a lot of donuts. you might have do you guys have any.
suggestions for me yes. okay you should tear those curtain downs. break the window. replace the windows with wall with walls. and paint. all the simpson simpsons characters on. the wall. because you had that in your studio in. l.a remember oh yeah. yeah would it be a bad idea we've. thought about doing something different. we're working with this church curtain. vibration i need something. i have no idea what it is so you said. you saw the first season of stranger. things right. yeah what was your favorite part my. favorite part.
was i didn't watch uh i like that little. kid with the um. glasses on excuse me. i like the little kid with the glasses. on who. the glasses. what what. oh. i don't i don't remember are you okay. what did it look like. did you have curly hair i don't remember.
oh um. did anyone even wear glasses in the. first season what are you guys okay. wait what are you doing what are you is. it was it barb. who's barb yeah let's go to the barb. yeah it wasn't barbed what are the. demogorgons do on friday night. they go to the barb wouldn't we like to. know. because they took her in the show my. favorite part everybody knows that. if anybody if anybody is watching this.
that hasn't seen stranger things there's. spoilers my favorite part is when. is that when the point they're they're. is there like why is it on your face oh. yeah what that. when they're like take like when they're. on the bike chase with the big vans and. then. l flips over the van with her mind okay. okay okay okay okay. do you need a nap sir how do you guys. okay.
we have a. [Music]. here do this max. are you thinking about getting plastic. surgery in the future. and like if i want to get plastic. surgery to look like my dog you should. get a nose job. yeah get a nose job i want to shave your.
eyebrows and put eyebrow makeup on i. want to get my eyes sewn. closed and write party time on each one. i want to get my lip or my arm tattooed. saying. i'm a goofy goober. have you not seen spongebob no yeah. you don't you guys what did you do. as a kid if you didn't watch spongebob i. don't watch spongebob we rode our bike. cool we made ramps cool we hurt. ourselves. cool and the one you just said was the.
fun part. people would vomit sometimes cool oh. pretty lit we used to eat ants. i got really sick like a week ago and i. grew up 12 times. and i stayed in a chair have you ever. had a feeling of being like. way down what's like poop poop. do you even believe yourselves. i mean i mean do you even believe in me. look guys i there's this guy that was.
born with the voice of. the voice of morgan freeman he's. reincarnated as a lawn mower and the. only thing he can't do is open foil. paper. nice thanks do you want to hear my. morgan freeman impersonation. yes. what is wrong with you i didn't start it. yet here's my morgan freeman. impersonation all right. okay they said it would take a minute. 600 years to get out of this here prison.
but andy dufresne did it in less than. 20. why are you like why did i even. get get us on that topic what's. something you just want to tell the. people out there you know let's give. you guys about 30 seconds to just tell. people. what you want to say and then we can um. i want to say. that i am glad. to that i'm on this podcast because. i never thought i would be on a podcast.
and that's all okay okay um what i want. to say is. i feel very glad to be on this podcast. and um just a thanks to my parents for. taking me out here. and stuff and um i actually want to. promote ceo's merch. by doing like a little sequence okay. okay. so i have his coding on. yeah whatever website he has go buy it.
please okay all right man well bye. you know i love you guys and i'm glad. you guys were able to be here today. and um we just say at the end of the. episode. we say we'll probably go out with a. little bit of eddie nine volt again. uh to come up excuse me and it's the. same song that we came in with. what's that supposed to mean and i want. to thank everybody for being a part of. the show you can get tickets at. theovon.com. tour t-o-u-r.
your what don't buy through any other. site because uh. it's a scam it's a scam website that's. how i watch icarly. there you go a lot of scams out there do. governments create. clouds for you to stop seeing the end of. the earth. now that's a question for this guy eddie. bravo a friend of mine who's not here. today. but i'm going to ask him you guys be. good to yourselves man. gang gang gang gang.
[Music]. feels real good after i've been so blue. [Music].
well i just broke up with my baby.
