BEST OF: This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von 2025

Uh, that's what this is called this past. weekend. Yeah. How'd you come up with that? >> Because I just started on a Monday. [laughter]. to be honest. I didn't really That's. good. What about Bill Cosby? Did you. ever get to meet him or not. before he had all the problems? Is being a rapist one of the problem?

[laughter] Sorry. >> You said it like before he got scurvy. [laughter]. >> Hey Theo. Uh my name is actually uh Theo. as well. >> Oh, hello Theo. Good to meet the others. Onward. >> I got a situation here. I've been. talking to this girl for like two years. and it turns out I got her pregnant. After that all happened, the word got. around and somehow it turns out that.

she's my first cousin. Any advice would help. And uh thank you. so much. Wow. Dang, brother. That's uh. that's you going to be raising a dang. lizard, homie. You can't um Wow, brother. Good golly. That's like. shooting fish in a. family or whatever. I don't know. I. mean, I haven't looked at a chart. recently. I don't know. the um.

the genetic legalities of that, but. dude. Yeah. I mean, they say, you know, don't pee where or don't eat where you. or don't. piss where your family is or whatever. Whatever. Whatever that old saying is, dude. You I feel like you've gone past. that at this point. And um God, that thing is going to have Oo, [snorts]. you're going to need um. Yeah, you're going to need a uh frier to.

come and put shoes on that thing. I'm. just chirping you. I'm just chirping. you, dude. I look I feel you. I look, it's having a child with a cousin. I. think. at the very least it's going to need. glasses. >> They still have prostitutes that work. the streets, >> do they? >> Yeah. >> Not even have to anymore, right? There's. some good Where are street walkers still. in America? Can you pull that up, please? >> Cuz I've been looking. I've told my. friends before. I don't get laid much. I.

That's just a fact about me. But um I. told my friends, just surprise me with a. hooker one day. And don't tell me it's a. hooker. >> A male hooker. >> A male hooker. They exist. I'm not sure. >> I think that they Yeah, definitely. I. mean, there's like Italian guys if. that's what you're talking about. >> Who knows? [laughter] Um, but yeah. Yes. >> You know, some women, they say, "Oh, it's so easy for a woman to get laid. They can have whoever they want." No, it's not true. There are some of us that. have really hard time. [laughter]. >> Really? I know a I feel like I could. name at least five or six guys that.

would definitely make love to you that I. know firsthand. >> Oh, wow. >> And have seen in the past two weeks, >> you know. >> Wow. And you've got some cool pals. [laughter]. >> I mean, or just, you know, like I I. mean, cuz Yeah. I don't even Yeah, but. it's like what am I even talking about? Is that a crazy thing to say? >> No. No. No. It's great to hear. Actually, that just gave me a little bit. of a boost, >> dude. Yeah. Are you kidding me, man? I. know some people that would definitely. >> probably knock you up even. >> Hell [laughter] yeah. >> You have a lot of You have a decent. amount of children.

>> Yeah, a lot. 85. >> You have 85. Is that your goal? >> Yeah, boy. You got to get. >> That was my [laughter] goal. But then. also the people I've had kids with, we. were all on one accord. >> On one accord. I only dated women that. were athletic. I'm not having kids just. to just to have kids. >> Oh, so do you have some strategy? >> Yeah, there was strategy behind mine. I. don't care about you being a bad. I don't care about you being on IG with. your ass outb. I mean that's fine. Whatever you need to. do to to feel better about yourself. I'm.

fine with that. But I needed and only. dated women that were athletic. Wow. >> So my kids had a head start on that. foundation of athletic ability. And I. only date women that already have kids. M you can get a you can take that kid. off to the sides. Hey man, >> because I mean for me. >> dating a woman with no kids, they never. have food at home. >> Yeah. >> They always want to go out to eat. >> Yeah. Oh, yeah. >> You know what it's like? No, Theo, I. don't know if you experienced this, but. you know what it's like to have sex with.

someone that has kids and wake up at 3. 3:30 in the morning, get a Capri. Sun. >> That's good. Ho ho, bro. >> That's amazing, >> bro. I'll make with half a mouth full of. Lunchable. I'll make love all night. >> Yes. See, that's what I'm talking about. >> That's who I am, boy. >> I mean, it's like losing your virginity. to. Pamela Anderson. Well, that's a bad. That's a dated Who's the new hot lady? >> Um, who is it now? >> Oprah. >> No, it's. >> Rihanna. Who do the kids like? >> Oh, a.

>> Sydney Sweeney. That's a good one. Look. at the tits on Dicklas. >> God. Oh, wow. >> Holy machi. She seemed like a beautiful. young lady, huh? >> Very attractive. >> She just got uh separated from her. husband, I think. >> Oh, hey, you're in. >> That's slurped. I thought about sending. her a message, but I don't know what I. would say. >> Say nice yams, [laughter]. >> That's true, dude. >> I think she's she wants that. She No one. talks to her like that anymore, so. probably turn her on. >> You think? Oh, I'll definitely say. something about that vegetation.

[laughter]. >> She's got some crop circles. >> You want to hear some some wild data on. homosexuality and hormones? Okay. So. years ago when I was a graduate student. at Berkeley, I was part of a study. I. wasn't the main author that looked at. fingerlength ratios and homosexuality in. men and women and how much testosterone. was in uterero. Now I don't want anyone. to freak out and just start staring at. their fingers, but because it has to be. measured correctly. All right? So. >> So if you hold if you hold up your right. hand, like I'm holding up my right hand,

my ring finger here is a little bit. longer than my pointer finger. Let me. see. >> Okay. Which one's ringing finger? >> Yeah. So, uh, turn but turn it the other. way around for me. >> Yeah. Okay. So, your ring finger is a. little bit longer than your pointer. finger. Yeah. >> Okay. That is the typical heterosexual. male pattern. Okay. Now, people are. going to be like, "This is bullshit.". Listen, this has been replicated more. than five times in humans. Okay. If you. look at gay men, men that identify as. gay, there there are very few men that. identify as bisexual actually. But if.

you look at gay gay men, >> that difference is much more pronounced, much bigger. They have a hyper male. pattern. Now, it can't be due to. behavior, right? You could say, "Well, they're having sex with a lot more. people. Sexy increases testosterone.". No, it's directly related to how much. testosterone you were exposed to in. uterro when you were in your mommy's. belly. Now, can you get exposed to. testosterone in your mom's belly if. someone ejaculates into the mom? Uh, that hasn't been looked at, but um I.

don't think so. There's a lot to talk. about. So, yeah, you can put that hand. up. >> So, ever since like how people call me a. lesbian or whatever, like. >> because of your looks or whatever. >> Yes, because of my me sometimes, too. Some lady the other day said, "Is that a. wig on your head?" that but the doctor. made an assumption at birth because I. had one kidney and the way my face. looked and assumed and told my parents. that I like there was a high percentage. chance that I was down syndrome. Yeah. What do you mean? Yeah. >> Dude, I'll tell you this. I heard that.

Frederick Douglas um. I heard Frederick Douglas was gay. >> And I'll tell you who who told you that? >> I've heard it from almost probably. almost 15 or not 15 people. I've heard. it from four people. Where do you go to. find uh the people who tell you that. Frederick Douglas is gay? It must, you. know, look, I'll tell you this. You must. hang out more interesting places than I. do. >> It wasn't white people that told me. Really? So, okay. Out of the gate, I. given a little bit more credibility. And. that's why he wanted to free all those. men because he was having trouble. meeting anybody. >> Is that right?

>> Because everybody was at work. >> That's you know, I'm going to talk I'm. going to talk to. >> JD Vance. Congratulations, dude. >> You stand there like this, but you still. flex. You keep the stomach in and you. keep the the abs flexed and the calves. flexed, the biceps and the tricep flex. So that was the idea and I was always. having great joy with that. But then you. wait for the for the individual posing. So then you come out one after the next. you do your threeminut posing routine. And what's the tricks there? Is there. any trick of the trade? A last minute.

thing you used like pinch your pinch. your tits or just rub some just like. molasses into your limb. Like was there. what what was like a last minute thing. people would do? put ice under your arms. or something. >> No, I I think the key thing is just that. you when you go there that you're so. ready that you don't shake. You get how. many bodybuilders I'm sure you've seen. it. They hit a shot and then they after. after a few seconds they start shaking. >> Oh, so that's bad. >> Well, for that level, I mean, it's.

natural when you have a Mr. Venice Beach. competition, Mr. Muscle Beach, >> Mr. Montgomery, Alabama. Yeah. >> You know, so that's that's that's what. it is. So it's all about uh the seven Ps. you know the seven Ps proper prior. planning prevents pissed poor. performance. >> right in the Marines they have that. >> proper prior planning prevents. >> pissed poor performance exactly. >> so that's what it's about it's the same. there you come prepared.

>> you know that's always a war of. temptation in your mind there's always. going to be that there's always going to. be. >> smelling zones. Oh, I'll hit a I'll hit. >> Oh my god, this is so. >> I can already. >> Oh, >> feel a little of that. >> God, let me ride. >> You know what the difference is, Jamie? >> Let me ride that little. >> You know what the difference is? >> This one. I kept this on it. >> Oh, >> I didn't even realize I was doing it, but I kept that on it and that it was. sealed. I'll. >> lay on my back in 69. This thing,

brother, it's already going to be. strong, Joe. Quiet. Don't look at me. when I do it. >> Hit it. Hit it. [snorts]. I didn't get enough. >> You didn't get enough. You just You. didn't inhale. You got scared. >> You missed. >> You're right. >> OH MY GOD. [laughter]. OH MY GOD. NO. NO. You don't do that. You don't do that. [snorts] What you. just did scared everyone. >> Take a break. Take a break. >> I'm sweating. >> I'm sweating too because of that. Sorry. >> How are you? Are you okay, >> bro? You just t changed timelines.

>> because of you. Justin Trudeau resigned. [laughter]. First, I want to talk a little bit more. about race and race baiting. >> Okay. >> Um, crossracial behaviors right here. Uh, this is a clip that of a white male. Let's see. Um, that Drewski put. together. >> Okay. [screaming]. >> Here's the love. Here's the honor. If. you can't come in, come on.

[laughter]. I think this is a Jason Kelsey. impersonation also. >> Look at this. [laughter]. >> Hey S. >> Hey, come up. You need to listen to your. nana. >> Cedar Point. [laughter]. >> Hey, you lost, boss.

>> No race. What race? >> NASCAR racing. You going to NASCAR, >> sir? >> What is this dude? >> Sure about that? >> Do you think that kind of racism happens. that much really or this is more like in. movies type. >> It's in I mean, look, dude, I live in. New York, so I don't know what it's like. in the South, but I know racism exists. I also know that it's kept alive by the. media and the internet and all that.

stuff because there's so many people. that make so much profit off it that. you're like but I mean I think that's. fine. I mean Drewie doing that is is. just like a good bit but I should be. able to then fully dress black. >> Now my question is there was said that. there was a prize where whoever won it. got to say the N word one time. Is that. true or not? I heard that. >> Yes. >> Okay. Did you. >> cuz I feel like everybody in their life. have said the the word. You said. it rapping a song. It's a part of bro. everyone said it and kids even Tom Brady. one time told me man my son was asking.

me about it because it's the curious. thing is like you put power on the word. like don't say that because. >> but words could mean whatever you want. them to mean it's it's all about how you. take it interpret it within yourself. >> Oh yeah. >> If you say I'm your favorite it's. like yeah I'm your favorite black guy. >> You know what I'm saying? If I say you. my that mean like you're my guy. Like you my brother. Well, I if somebody. says it to if a black fell says that to. me, I feel pretty good for the. >> like you, my Like, I with. you. Like, we genuinely have a bond that. I care about you. >> I feel like, okay, you know what I'm.

saying? >> Let's do it. Huh? >> I want to buy some Jay's, you. know? I'm ready to do [laughter]. this. >> But now, was is there Why don't black. people lease the n-word out to be said. like at a certain event or something? I. think there could be a lot of money in. that. >> Is that crazy to say that? >> I feel like just how you use it, you. know, sometimes. >> Oh, I agree. I don't mean use it in a. derogatory way, but say like tonight. they had like Angelina Jolie was paying. 50 bands to say it right on you on a on. a live stream. That' be cool. And you. sold. >> cuz you would want to see how she said.

>> So that's the thing like she had slaves. or she said it [laughter] cuz I might be. a white girl and be like, "Yo, call me a nigga." Like. >> damn, who are these people? >> You don't like that? >> Huh? I have no idea if I like it or not. But I just think like [laughter] it's. like. >> it's prerogative. >> Okay. >> You know what I mean? It's like. exciting. It's just like I It's. >> And will they do it sometimes? >> Yeah. >> No way. >> Why wouldn't they? I'll smack them on. the ass. >> Oh, [laughter] I don't know. I don't. know. Giddy up. >> Oh, I didn't know they're doing all. that. So, I guess if somebody's.

you, you can say it. That's crazy. >> You drink coffee, man. Or no? >> No. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> I mean, you've you've had it. >> I have. Um, sometimes on vacation I'll drink it. recreationally. It's like every once in. a while. >> just like a Yeah. Just like a like a. celebration. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Really? >> Yeah. No, I I just like hate anything. that messes with like I don't I don't. like any kind of chemicals or anything.

like that. >> People a lot of times like there's guys. who are like kind of you know Elon Musk. is probably like a socially awkward guy. and I would say that. I mean I think. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> We all are, >> right? We all are, right? I think we all. are. And it's interesting that there's. like probably people have I mean Have. you ever felt socially awkward over your. years? >> No. I'm I'm I'm really smooth. Okay. [laughter]. >> No, no, no. Obviously. Yes. Yeah. I'm. like the most awkward person. People. have been calling me a robot online for. 20 years. It does wonders for my.

confidence. >> No, your confidence cannot be impaled. I. don't think that's one thing you have. that's probably a a sheer northstar. inside of you. It's got to be. You might have become bulletproof. I. think there's times where Yeah. You seem. like a guy who probably like like. watched a video of how to be a guy on. YouTube or something, you know. But I. think we all we all go through like. we're all like awkward in different. ways. You know, you put you in certain. environments and you're not at all. I. But I think it's interesting that. there's. >> found those environments. But maybe, you.

know, it's [laughter]. >> dude, even being here today, bro, is. nice of you. What's like one of your. fears? Like what's a fear you have of. AI? like if you have like a fearful. space that it could go like I know you. mentioned it a little bit. >> this morning I I was testing our new. model and I got a question I got emailed. a question that I didn't quite. understand. uh and I put it in the model this GPT5. and it answered it perfectly. and I really kind of sat back in my.

chair and I was just like a oh man here. it is moment there's a lot of people. that talk to chatbt all day long there. are these sort of new AI companions that. people talk do like they would a a. girlfriend or a boyfriend. Um, and we were talking earlier about how. it's probably not been good for kids to. like grow up like on the dopamine hit of. scrolling, you know, or whatever. >> Yeah. Do you think that that how do you. keep like um AI from having that same. effect like that negative effect that. social media really has had? >> I I'm I'm scared of that. I don't I.

don't have an answer yet. Uh I don't. think we know quite the ways in which. it's going to have those negative. impacts. Uh, but I feel for sure it's. going to have some and we'll have to I. hope we can learn to mitigate it. quickly. >> Um, can AIS can they pull up pornography. and stuff like that too or No. >> Sure. >> Oh my god. >> God, I didn't know that. >> You know, I brought you a present today. >> Did you really? >> Yeah. >> I always like to share new products that. I find useful in my life. And this is a.

dick laser. >> Oh, damn. What it is is it's like a. laser pointer that uh is a dick that. projects dicks. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. So, if anyone's running their. mouth too much in here. >> Mhm. >> Look at your shoe. Look what I put on. your shoe right there. >> Whoa, that's cool. [laughter]. That's pure huh? >> It's pure There's uh some variable. settings on there, too, I think, where. you can kind of uh change what nasty. stuff you put. That's the That's the PG.

end right there. That's just your light. The other end is where you get the dick. Right there. >> Oh, [laughter]. so this is where you find a suspect like. that. >> Yeah. And then the other one's where you. embarrass him. >> Wow, dude. Thank you, bro. >> Yeah, you're welcome. I think you could. use that. Anytime anyone's talking too. much in here, you just throw one of. those across their forehead and it will. shut them up fast. >> Oh, you know who I saw yesterday? Speaking of social media, the Rizzler. You ever seen this kid? >> Oh, I've seen the Rizzler. Yeah, >> dude. I met him in person. Yes. [laughter]. I'm having dinner, right? I was having. dinner. I look over and and it's a kid.

and you don't want to look for too long. cuz it's like it's just not something. you do. And look at him. >> Look at him, dude. Oh, and you got a. pick with him, too. I love it, man. >> Bro, I was so excited and I But it's. kind of weird cuz you don't want to be. like I'm talking to a kid or whatever. And then But definitely, Dude, I'll say. this. >> Wait, where were you guys at? Is that. Craig's? >> I went to Craigslist. >> The wristers just hanging out at. Craig's, huh? >> It blew my mind. [laughter]. There was like some guy in there who. like had like overdosed on age or. something like some super old guy. He's.

like I'm a producer you know. He's like. I produced uh the Mayflower or whatever. I was like that was a boat. That. [laughter] was a boat in the 1800s. But. um but yeah. Anyway, this was like this. the coolest thing that ever happened. So. I was so excited. And not to snitch on. him or whatever. First of all, he had. two Pepsis or whatever past 8:00 p.m. which I think is. >> Yeah, that's late. He's gonna The. bedtime stories won't work anymore. [laughter] They'll You'll be up all. night. Yep. >> Yeah. That's a little late. And some. people have some people say his grades. have been suffering. And I'm like, well, >> I think he's evolved past grades, right?

He's never gonna have to learn anything. He's just going to be able to do. whatever he wants in this world, I. think. >> Yeah. Yeah, that's true. It's a lot. Um, you got the fourth grade coming up, huh? >> Mhm. >> Is that true? >> Yeah. >> Okay. How are you feeling about it? >> Good. >> I want to blow out that candle so bad. >> You do? Yeah. All right. How about this? You answer. answer this next question. I'll let you. blow it out. >> Okay. >> What's one of your biggest fears about. the fourth grade coming up? Something.

that you might that's, you know, got you. maybe a little bit nervous. >> I don't know. I'm not very nervous about. that. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> All right. Deal. >> Yes. >> Yeah. You got to get on top of that bad. boy. >> There we go. Yeah. >> Look at that smoke. >> Yeah. Oh yeah. Tell me about it, brother. Hit some over here. I'm going. to call my sponsor, brother. Yeah,

that's what [laughter] I'm talking. about, brother. God, I'll freaking light up a whole. freaking couple pounds of that. Um, >> now smells even better in here. >> It does. I love that. >> Mhm. >> It's like a birthday. It's like when you. get a birthday cake and get to blow it. out. >> Yeah. >> That's the best, man. What is in my p. there's gloves in my pocket. >> Are there really? Let me see him. Are you a crim? What is. these for crime or whatever? >> I guess so. >> You guess so. [snorts].

>> I don't know. >> Oh, yeah. >> I guess I'm a detective. >> Oh, yeah. I'm a detective now, huh? We. check this for fingerprints. E. Yeah, I like that. Huh? BLM, homie. This is dope. I like that. Yeah, dude. What if you do the dark riz. >> fingerprint? >> Nuh-uh. >> Who's is that?

>> An elf? I don't know. >> Yeah, probably [laughter] elf. >> Yeah, probably just some local. scoundrel. Dude, you ever do this in a. glove? What's that like? That's really. It's a black tie affair, huh? >> They smell pretty good. >> Yeah. >> What's one of your favorite smells, you. think? >> Sharpies. >> Brother, let's light that candle again. Huh? Uh, do you think the Bill Bich thing has. adjusted the dating the way that dating.

is looked? Because it's kind of a big. like he kind of opened the portal like. the portal's open. >> for older men. >> Yeah. There's a My parents have a big. difference, too. Yeah, totally. I mean, this is this is a huge difference. >> I don't know how many years difference. is it? >> I also changed my probably 50 years, bro. >> No. Raleigh Mau, how many years? >> 24 and 74, I believe. That's 50. >> No, >> bro. That is 50, man. I just crunch the. numbers. I don't know if those are the. actual ages, but that [laughter] is 50. >> What do you say to people who say that's. 50, dude?

>> But I the only thing is I change my. opinions a lot. So, this could be. outdated. Like, I'll change my opinion. on this tomorrow. >> Dude, all I'm saying is the portal is. open for old men and young women. this. is the I mean the portal's open now. >> and um it's probably easier than ever to. meet them. There's probably there's so. many apps and stuff where you can and I. don't and girls seem to be really. attracted to guys who have money and. guys who are successful and they don't. seem to care about looks and it doesn't. seem like they care about age as much.

Is that true? Is that crazy to say? >> People look younger than ever kind of. how what age difference are they? Can. you just tell me a number? Sorry, Riley, but damn. [laughter]. You have a computer you're. working with. [snorts]. >> Never mind. No. Jesus Christ. [laughter]. Just stick to coming, dude. Stick to. stick to [laughter]. my on and off again. She's only 25. She's in Colombia. January 7th of this.

year, how um she hit me with a pot of. fetuccini noodles that I was boiling. I'm frying some chicken parmesan. Mhm. >> Um making the fetuccini noodles. >> and making the uh vegetables and um and. then when um I was moving out of the. kitchen, she began looking at the stuff. on the stove and I was hoping that she. did not grab the chicken parmesan with. the vegetable oil in it. >> And instead she grabbed the pot with my. fetuccini. >> and I said to her, "Don't do it. If you.

do it, you're going to go to jail." And. then and then she picked it up and as I. turned to run, I felt it hit me. Ooh. And when it hit me, I ran out of my door. and I was screaming, "Ah, you really. burnt me." And then my dog Snowy Snowy. started trying to um attack her then. >> How did that feel when that first hit. you, man? When that cheny hit you, bro. What it is? What. >> it stung? It stung something fierce. I screamed, "Ah, this stings." And.

I ran out my door and I said to her, "You burnt me." Um, >> there you are right now. And that's it. Damn, look at this here. You look. like a model in one of those like. fashion shows or something. >> And what my friend said to me was, um, >> this is like some BCB brg Maxaria, bro. You look like a damn black astronaut, bro. They got you looking like. you're going to space right there. >> I'll show my wife's penis if you wanted, but she wouldn't care. [laughter] You're. crazy. >> Yeah, she wouldn't care. >> Oh, dude. Maybe just do a drawing of it.

for me. >> Okay. All right. >> You think? All right. Just showing. I'll. kind of go like this a little. >> All right. Um, [snorts] I won't show it. on camera just because. >> No, just show it to me. I don't want to. see all of it at once. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's I I can't. show it all on camera because she's a. lady. She wouldn't care for that. No. lady wants their penis shown completely. on camera. >> Oh, for sure. Dude, I don't even want to. look at it if. >> I won't show it to you if you don't look. I'm like. >> um let me see here. Hold on. I'll you. you can I won't just I won't just hit. you with it. >> Yeah. This won't surprise you. Don't be. like. >> Let me find an acceptable photo that she.

would be uh that she would be proud of. Okay. Uh, no, that she wouldn't like. that. That's a video. [snorts]. >> Um, I I'll find one for you. >> Yeah, take your time. I'm going to think. about something else for just a minute. >> All right. You want to see? >> Yeah. Hold on. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Whoa, brother. What the [laughter]. Oh my god, Jim. Your wife has that? That's my lady. That's my best gal. Wow.

That is a That is a tall bro. >> She's a tall lady. >> She's [laughter] a tall lady. >> She's a tall lady. >> Oh, that thing's in 4, huh? >> Yeah. >> Oh, you got to spray some round up on. that. >> because back then in the UK, nobody was. doing YouTube, you know. It was It was. just we a weird thing for someone to do. for a standup to do. >> People other stand-ups would be like, "Oh, he's just a YouTuber." You know, that kind of slur, right? >> Yeah. YouTuber. >> Yeah, YouTuber. Gh. But.

>> no hard R on it. [laughter]. >> YouTuber. >> Yeah, that's crazy, dude. >> YouTuber, please. >> Yeah, dude. Oh, have you heard that. song? YouTubers can be gay, too. >> Have you heard it? No. >> I watch it right now. You got to hear. this song. It's great. This just like a. It's a summer bop that's really taken. over. >> And then we'll [music] get back to the. >> [music]. >> Let me explain to you.

[laughter]. >> Hell yeah. >> What a banger. >> This is that banger, bro. We got to. remix your for the summer, dude. >> Yeah. >> Very hard to sing along. >> That's in your car. You can say this in. your car. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You just say this to your friend. [laughter]. >> He's not wrong though. >> They can't be gay. No, he's definitely I. support this guy. >> Yeah. >> Hey, this guy has a vote for me, bro.

>> It needs to be said. I think that's too. much toxic masculinity in in that nword. community sometimes. >> Yeah. You got to let the air out the. tire a little, you know? [laughter]. >> That's what I'm saying, boy. Sometimes. the best seasoning is a little bit of. zest. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Ginger's traveling in packs is a. dangerous dangerous thing, you know. We. don't really see each other like that, you know? like we don't when I see. another redeyed there was a redheaded. girl yesterday working this event that. we were at and she was like my brother. and I said let's take it easy cuz I.

don't know if you're an enemy or a. friend yet you know a regular person I. meet on the street hey how you doing. another redhead I go [clears throat]. >> I'd like to see the resume first before. I let you into my space cuz I don't know. what kind of ginger they are there's. different levels. >> really is it really. >> oh big time. >> it's almost like black people and that. albino guy or whatever [laughter]. >> you know that guy I'm talking about that. undercover black guy bring that guy up. >> yeah that's got Got to be there's got to. be a vetting process, you know, like can. the albino black eye does he say the n. word? >> Bring up a couple albigas. [laughter]. Is that a term or now?

>> It is now, dude. >> Can we say that or not? >> Look at that black albino guy with red. hair. >> Oh, that's what the is up. [laughter]. Bro, that is the future, dude. Bro, take. my money, bro. >> Whatever he's selling. And I don't know. if that's more me or more if he's more. red or more black. I don't know what. group he'd go with. I mean, he's invited. to the cookout and has to have ring. sunscreen, which is wild, [laughter]. >> dude. That's sunlight Jackson, homie. Are you kidding me, dude? Are we. going to get in trouble for saying how.

big? I feel like. >> I don't know, bro. I don't [laughter]. know. >> I'm going to have a little sip of. Celsius cuz I need a pickme up. >> Have you ever had this before? >> No, not this. No. Is it Is it good? >> Yeah. >> Yeah, it's grape. I saw Is it It's. grape. So, it's like really good. I'm. going to have to try this stuff. >> Can you have a little bit? >> Yeah. >> No alcohol. No. Okay. So, what does it. have in it? It's like water. >> Oh, mine's cherry cola flavored. It's. like spicy stuff. It's like a little bit. of ADD kind of. >> Oh, dude. Th This stuff actually tastes.

like like the grapes that you squeeze. out of the like not the grapes that you. eat from the store, but like the Amish. grapes that you can buy, like the ones. that you squeeze out of the h what do. you call that? The skin. Have you ever. had those grapes where you just squeeze. them out and you swallow them? >> Uhuh. >> Yeah. That tastes just like this. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> Let's get a look at those Amish purple. grapes. >> Yeah, they're they're uh they're Yeah, that's how they look. And those you know. how the stores like they have no seeds. in them like these have like a seed in.

them. You just squeeze them out and then. you swallow them cuz if you try to eat. them like chew on them like um like you. just bite into the seat and stuff. >> Oh, you just squeeze them out and. swallow them. >> This actually tastes exactly like that. So, it must been very natural. >> Yes, sir. It's the best, man. That'll. definitely Oh, >> that'll get you home, brother. That'll. get you home. >> Yeah. So, so if this I saw that this. does have caffeine in it. >> Yeah, it has a little bit of caffeine. >> So, I'll be like moving around. >> Yeah. You'll be feeling something. >> Yeah. Um [snorts].

>> dude, that was the best. I don't know. I. [laughter] I don't know if you were. recording, but I mentioned before that. that dude was awesome. And you said you. were in contact with him, and my. question was how, [laughter]. >> dude? We got to send you over there to. see that guy. >> I would I would love to hang with that. dude. Some things I take for granted. >> Oh yeah. >> When he was just like stoked to like get. in a Corvette with like two chicks and. he's like that was like my whole life. and I'm like. >> a. >> goes pretty fast too.

>> Yeah. >> Press the pedal. >> Yeah. [laughter] It made me super. reflective like and like one I thought. he was adorable. >> Yeah. He's nice. >> Yeah. Nice and like very honest and. earnest. But I also was just like, man, I gotta start stop like taking like. that for granted. >> I mean, I filmed episodes. We did an. episode about assassins that was just a. couple of miles from my home in LA. And. I interviewed an assassin, a guy who's. paid to kill. >> Nuhuh. >> Just [clears throat] a couple of miles. in in in LA and undisclosed location,

but in LA, not far from my house. It's. insane. And so we met and so we get. there. He's on he's it's at night, undisclosed place, but very close to my. home. and he's waiting outside the car. and the moment I get there you could see. he's like jittery and nervous and not. happy and he was there because his. friend asked for this favor and um in. his case sometimes it's easier for me to. sort of have that human connection and. try to talk about how I want to. understand what they do his case he was. just not he was like okay here are the. ground rules and he said immediately see.

this first thing he pulled out his gun. he said showed me his gun he's like if. this is a setup if the police. shows up I'm going to point this I'm. going to shoot you all of you you and. your team you're all dead it's like. Okay. Um, and so the rest of the. interview was me being super afraid that. what if police shows up? Not because I'm. there, but what if they just what if a. car just drives by and what some chubby. cops hiding from his shift over here. right off the edge of this DSW shoes or. something. >> Exactly. So, I was so scared. I was so. scared. And I think it was the shortest.

interview we've ever done. I think it. lasts like 15 20 minutes. But also. because you know there's the question. the initial questions is what do you do? How often have you done it? Why do you. do it? How do you live with yourself. doing this kind of thing? I always the. accountability questions I always ask. them. >> But the part that he didn't like, it. wasn't actually like, do you know that. you're doing harm to people? This is. what you're doing is horrible. Like, do. you feel guilty about this? The. questions he didn't actually like was. when I started asking him, he says, I. only kill men, no women, and children. And I asked him, but do you have. children? And basically, obviously, I. was trying to get to the point that even.

if the child isn't killed, their parent, the dad is killed. That's horrible. And. >> he's already better than Netanyahu. out. >> He was like, "Don't ask me questions. about my children. Don't you're trying. to get all all soft on me." He got He. was like his macho uh persona was. getting um you know, he didn't like. that. Um. >> he didn't like talking about his. children. >> No. >> Cuz it probably made things very. personal for him maybe. >> Yeah. Yeah. I think I think part of his. persona being a hitman is that he you. know, you can't show emotion,

>> right? >> I that's what And so I was threatening. to him in the sense that I was trying to. get emotion out of him and he was not. okay with it. and he said, "Is this. over?" And and yeah, and then we left. >> Uh Theo. >> Mhm. >> You're going to be the primary in this. one. Okay, >> you got it. >> The subject's name is Michael Brady. He. goes by Mike. >> Okay, sir. >> Hello. >> Hey, Mike. >> Yeah. Who's this? >> Uh this is Theo, actually. I'm the I'm. working. I'm here today, man. Just um. >> I really screwed up, didn't I? Man,

>> I think it seems like you've had a tough. day. I have had a tough day, but I mean. I [sighs and gasps] I screwed up this. time, didn't I? >> I think you're probably going to have to. answer some questions, you know, but. I think everything's going to be okay, man. >> How is it going to be okay? This girl, this girl's pregnant, man. I mean, how. am I going to face anyone after this? >> Well, I think you're going to have to. Her dad's going to be pissed. Yeah. I. mean, yeah, people are going to be. upset. >> I'm not thinking about her dad. I'm.

thinking about my family. >> Okay. People are going to Yeah, it's. going to be Yeah, man. It sucks. >> Okay. It does suck. It sucks. >> But here we are. >> Yeah. I mean, how am I going to face my. son? >> Your son's pretty upset right now. >> Yeah, he is. Of course he is. I knocked. up a 14-year-old girl. I'm a youth. pastor in a church. I teach at a school. My life is over. Give me a good reason. why I shouldn't just put this thing to. my head and my brains out. cuz your. son's life is still around [snorts] and.

that's not what he needs right now. You. know, >> probably right about that. But, you. know, I I mean, how can I face him, man? >> I think you call him first. >> Call him and say what? What would you. say in that situation? >> I don't know. Uh, I don't know. I. would say. I would tell him the truth. I would say. I messed up. >> And you think that's the answer to tell.

him I messed up? I know I messed up. >> I think it's part of it. I know you know. you did, but he probably doesn't know. what's going on. >> He doesn't. Is he out there right now? >> Yeah. You want me to put him on? >> Would you? >> Yeah. >> Okay. How do you feel? How do you think. you did? [laughter]. >> Was that intense or. >> Huh? It is intense. >> It is intense. It's intense. [laughter]. Cuz you're like, is now if even if you. get to that part, is he just going to. tell the son goodbye? >> Exactly. See, you see Theo, you are.

super wise, brother. That's exactly why. we wouldn't put the son on the phone cuz. that's exactly what he would likely do. >> He would try He would likely And so this. is why we train. This is why we train. >> We had some guy cut off his own dick and. threw it on the sidewalk. >> Oh. For what? >> Cuz he was he was crazy. He was mentally. ill. But we don't know any of this. So. the call came in in the morning. I was. on the way in. And it was early in the. morning and it was cold out. I remember. that. >> Oh yeah. >> I have the radio on and I hear the. dispatcher call a car and then start to.

laugh. And then she says, "Disregard. We. don't know what's happening." So I'm. driving to the station and then a call. comes in again sending a different car. cuz it was like the midnight shift. ending. Sending a different car. Hey, can you go to this location? Someone. said there some mail in a piece of male. anatomy on the sidewalk. And we were all. laughing. We thought it was We just. thought it was a dildo. We thought it. was a joke. That's why the dispatcher. was laughing. >> Yeah. He just thought it was like a WNBA. game or whatever. [laughter]. >> Exactly. It wasn't green. Um, call comes. in like 10 minutes later and my. detective that I was working with at the.

time looked it up on the computer to see. the text of the call. Like, what does. this actually say? >> And then we saw that the caller was from. a nearby health center. >> and it said there's, you know, it look. appears to be a penis on the ground. There's blood everywhere. We're like, oh. that's that's not fake. So, we. would do what we call Johnston and we'd. put ads online. Back Page doesn't exist. anymore, but we'd put them on that. Um, so we'd all put our ads up and then, you. know, you put on 8 at 8:30 your phone's. ringing. It's crazy. 8:30 in the. morning, they're already starting to. call and we'd set up our dates for the.

day. Like, we'd have a hotel room. >> and we'd be waiting in the hotel room. and we'd have dates set up every half an. hour to show up. >> And were y'all hide under the bed? >> No, no, it's hiding under the bed. I. would have to open the door and and. there'd be like guys like in the. bathroom, officers in the bathroom. behind the wall. So I my trick was and I. was at like 45 46 when I was doing it. and my ad I'm supposed to be 34. I. didn't look 34 but I open the. door I'd have like my hair. >> you would be the girl. >> Oh I was a prostitute. Yeah. >> What? >> Yeah. >> What were y'all? >> So I have to talk to them on the phone. >> What were we all underst staffed or.

something? They just shouldn't have you. the also the detective. >> Well no you have to have you're the one. you're the one establishing probable. cause. So it it if if someone else is. doing it and then you have to like go. testify in court. Well you're not the. one that had the interaction with them. So, what we do, we put our ad on the. online. You put your photos and some. stupid saying like, you know, what. you're offering and how much it cost. So, it's and of course, it's acronyms. for everything. That's what I didn't. know anything about this before I. started about GF, which is girlfriend. experience, which means he'll kiss you. Um, full service means like sex and a.

And then there's like Russian. and Greek, and there's all these stupid. acronyms for everything else. And they. they thought they were being clever by. saying, "Oh, I want GF." So they're not. asking for sex. >> Oh, I see. >> So by them saying, "I want GFE or I want. Russian or I want this," they think. they're being clever. Except you can say. like, "Well, based on my training. experience, I know Russian means titty. job like or whatever." And then so you. talk, they call you on the phone. >> A titty job. >> Yeah, that's a Russian, by the way. I. didn't know that.

>> I'll take it. [laughter] I mean, whatever they're g, you know, I mean, it. is. I'm sorry. Yeah, that's okay. >> So you you'd basically talk to them on. the phone. They'd call you and some of. them were real nervous. Obviously, you. could tell the longtime timers they got. right to business and some of them want. to flirt with you on the phone or. whatever. Can you send pictures of your. eyes or your feet? The the foot fetish. guys are out there big time. But and. then you're like the more you do it like. I don't have time for this Like do. you want to come? You were showing up or. not. So you'd basically make the. arrangement. So once they showed up, you. already have probable cause. They always. already agreed to pay you for sex before.

they ever showed up. So then by them. showing up at the hotel, they're like. basically completing the entire um the. elements of the crime. They showed up. They already agreed to pay you for such. and such. So then you can arrest them. >> right when they get there. Really? >> Yeah. The amount of content that was. being uploaded to Pornhub, if you put. those videos back to back, just the. amount of content they would upload in. one year, it would take 169 years to. watch. If you put those videos back to. back, that's how much content was being. uploaded. >> Uploaded or had been uploaded total, you.

mean? No, per year. >> Wow. >> Yes. That's not even counting the. images. >> Unbelievable. >> So, I um tested the I found out, like I. said, what millions of people already. knew, and that was that all it took to. upload was an email address. So, in. under 10 minutes, anybody with an iPhone. anywhere in the world can upload a. video. And they were not checking age. They were not checking ID to make sure. that these are not children in the. videos. They're not verifying consent. >> to make sure that these are not rape or. trafficking victims. And because of.

that, I quickly understood that Pornhub. was not a porn site. It was a crime. scene. Like, it was infested with videos. of real sexual crime. And then, of. course, because there's the algorithm, right? They have set up the algorithm to. make sure if you see one video like. that, they're going to assume that you. like that content. So, then they're. going to take you on a crazy rabbit. hole. I call it like, you know, just. hell hole of rape. Like that's what it. was. And then you go and they'll show.

you more and more of the same kind of. thing, you know. Um. >> and so then the people would upload them. and then make money what off of. advertising on them somehow or who? >> Yes. Yeah. So the so the ones that were. making money off of this content because. this is free porn, right? Right. >> Uh free porn is not free, right? It is. heavily monetized with ads. So they were. selling 4.6 billion ad impressions on. Pornhub every single day. But that's the.

whole point of America is that we have. like standards of decency. Fairness. I. love that you use that word cuz that is. the core of it. It's fairness. Justice. is overused. Fairness is underused. It's. just a child knows what's fair. If his. brother's getting three Oreos and he's. getting one, that's just unfair. He. doesn't have a degree in economics. He. just feels it. He knows it. The sense of. fairness is innate. Dogs have it because. it's part of the natural fabric. It's. organic. And we are a fair country. And. the rich man gets the same treatment in.

the justice system as the poor man. It. doesn't matter where you're from. You're. both citizens and you're both equal. because you're both created by God. That's our whole system in one sentence. And that is being eroded because the. people who run our system agree with. Smootrich and every other third world. dictator. These people are damned by. their birth, whatever they are. That's. what affirmative action is. It's like, no, I don't like the way your parents. looked. You don't get the job. What? That's what we hated about the Nazis. What we hated about segregation, which I. want to say was evil. Segregation was.

evil. Why? Cuz it punished some people. and rewarded others on the basis of. things they couldn't control, their skin. color. >> Yeah. And we' had mixed babies a lot. sooner, too, which are pretty cute, a. lot of them. and the Epstein thing, you know, I I've never understood what. the. justification for keeping that. information secret. Epstein was murdered. in prison. Okay. I I know a lot about. it. I'm not just throwing that out. there. Epstein was murdered in prisons. >> Well, they put him with a cellmate that. was kind of a crazy like former police. officer, right?

>> Yeah. A former police officer killed a. number of drug dealers. I'm not saying. that guy did it, but I'm saying, well, I. asked Bureau of Prisons because I. learned all the stuff about it because I. know Epstein's brother, Mark, well, and. I never expected to go down this rabbit. hole at all. I had the guy called me. like a week after his brother was. killed. >> Mark did? >> Yeah. And yeah, was literally sitting in. my backyard in Maine and he called me. and um I don't know how he got my cell. and we it ended up this yearslong thing. It's not interesting and I won't bore. you with it, but the bottom line is Jeff.

Epste was murdered in federal lockup in. Manhattan in the secure unit. I think. there were only 16 men on the unit and I. think only 14 there that I may have that. slightly wrong, but it's very small and. it's the most secure federal lockup in. the United States and he got murdered in. it. So that raises all kinds of obvious. questions like who has the power to do. that? So that's a big deal. And then the. the attorney general at the time helped. cover it up and I know him and um Bill. Bar. So I and I say that and he's like.

I'm going to sue you. And I said go. ahead and sue me. I hope you will. >> Israel is actually the exception. They. are the only country that's allowed to. lobby Americans. Like everyone else has. to register as you know a foreign agent. under under Farra. >> like with Apac or whatever. >> Yeah. So Apac, the backstory, by the. way, before JFK got shot, he was. fighting Apac. They were previously. called, I'm blanking on this, it was, you can look it up. Um, and he was. literally saying, "You have to register. under the foreign act." And then he Apac.

got lucky because he got shot and. killed. >> What also you could like and and then of. course we're not allowed to read the. files, but leading up to his death, he. was having arguments with the prime. minister, uh, Ben Garion. And so it's. like, yes, are is Israel doing it. legally because a president got shot? Sure, but it's wrong. There should you a. country should not be able to lobby to. get what they want and control our. congressmen and you get to see them flex. that muscle like Tik Tok and things of. nature when they when they are now. interfering with our speech and they'll.

get laws passed really quickly. It. allows a literally a foreign country to. make decisions in our in our nation. Lobbying should just not be allowed full. stop. So instead they go, "Oh, you're. focusing on it because they're Jewish.". No, you're just the only country that's. allowed to do it. I would feel the same. way if China if there was a Chinese. lobby. No, there's no other country that's. allowed to this but Israel. Only Apac. There's no other country. >> There's a conflict that's been happening. in the Middle East. People know about it. um. between Israel and Palestine and some of.

the areas over there, the Gaza area they. talk about. And uh and I just think it's. it feels to me I don't know if I it just. it feels to me like it's a genocide. that's happening while we're alive here. in front of our. in front of our lives. Um. and I I I don't. sometimes I feel like I should say. something. I'm not a geologist or.

geographer or anything like that, you. know, so I don't know a lot of the some. of it I do know though, like I know the. basics of the issues over there, but for. me it's just like how I feel like you. see all these photos of uh people. just children, women, people. body parts, just people like putting. their kids back together. Um, and I just can't believe that we're. watching that and that more isn't said.

about it. Um, and so I'm not saying. anyone else needs to say anything, but I. think I'm just that more isn't said. about it by me. So I just uh I want to. be able to speak up about that that I. think we're watching probably like, you know, one of the sickest things. that's ever happened. And uh and I'm sorry if I've kind of. haven't said about it. I've tried to. talk about it and learn about it. Um but. I don't know, maybe I just want to.

[gasps]. I just wanted to say something. I don't. even know what to do, you know? And it's crazy cuz our country. is also complicit in in it, you know. It's uh in in it and has been for a long. time. And um and it's just kind of. interesting because then you just. realize, oh well, I'm just a yeah, I'm a. member of this country, but I'm just. what we want sometimes doesn't matter, you know, and you just have to be a. member of a place and your government is. making other choices. Um,

so I don't know if I I don't know if I. said that correctly or I don't even know. exactly what I said, but I just I I just. have it just like been making me really. sick and I feel like I just needed to. say something. that I think you don't have to think. that. I'm not asking you to do anything. Um, but I just have to say that so I'm. not sitting by, you know, there's that piece inside of. you mean like why why wouldn't you can't.

you say something? You know, there's. people that can't even speak and you can. say something, you know, and so that's. how I I just had to just speak up. Anyway, I think maybe it's starting to. make it about me there at the end, but. um yeah, so just praying for those. people and just the grief that that is. all going to cause. you notice like what are we doing? What were situations like with children.

there and providing care to children? Like what was the realities of that? Like uh was were you able to like save. any like keep them from the gore? or. like was there, you know, cuz usually, you know, a lot of times with in there's. like children's hospitals and, you know, there's hospitals and then there's. places for kids, right? It's a little. bit different and less severe. Um, what. was that like there? >> So, there was a kids hospital, but it. wasn't the trauma hospital. So, all the. kids trauma still came to Nazare. Hospital. They're right next to each. other. And so, we were seeing all the. kid trauma as well. And the kid trauma.

was was different, man. Um, just so, you. know, difficult to see and experience. It it was difficult to process, difficult to treat, um difficult to talk. to the family members with these. children. I mean, you're seeing you're. seeing kids as young as one, you know, sometimes, you know, infants, but um. majority of them are like, you know, young boys, young girls, and it just why. in the communist there's a tent city, one-third of Gaza all live in in this. place called Moasi Camp. I'll show you a.

picture of this. >> And it's just tense. Like you literally. just find a plot of land, you put your. tent down, and you have like 20 family. members living in there. Yeah. So, like. each one of those is a tent, right? >> Pretty crazy looking. >> Yeah. It's not like just you and your. wife. It's like you and your wife and. your family and and kids and in-laws. >> Um, >> so this is kind of the new Gaza here. >> Yeah, it's oneird of Gaza's right here. >> Wow. >> What's the vibes here, man? I know. that's a crazy thing to say like it's a. damn nightclub or something, but. [laughter]. uh I mean but it's like. >> they got a bouncer up front. [laughter].

>> Um, you know, you see kids playing on. trampolines. Do you see kids being kids? >> Yeah. Uh, you see fathers kind of s, you. know, sulking, trying to figure out like. what to do. You see mothers kind of just. hiding in their tents trying to take. care of their little ones. >> You see grandpas kind of like hanging. out with other grandpas. >> You see what you would expect a normal. life to be. And that's what it is. These. people are normal civilians just living. their life. I I just I fear what's going. to happen in the next generation. like.

we're going to see some not only. psychological diseases, psychiatric. diseases, but also literally physical. diseases that's going to come about. >> the more we learn about um history and. the more we learn about just like um the. the like well America did these things. and some of it 911 could have been the. result of some of that just more as you. start to learn that America hasn't. always been this perfect partner and. this that it just starts to test like. okay well what does it mean to be an. American to.

But then at the same time, you need to. be an American because you live in a. country that's safe and you're able to. operate here within the country. So it's. I don't know. It just makes it kind of. interesting. Does that make sense? >> Yeah. No, I get it. What you're what. you're exhibiting is a is a very normal. contradiction that a lot of Americans uh. when faced with the reality of American. foreign policy, they they come to terms. with this. Like they try to they try to. resolve this contradiction where on the. one hand you're saying, "Well, I'm an. American. I like the security blanket.

that I exist under, right? But also. simultaneously, but you're. simultaneously you're like, "But damn, we're doing a lot of up. around the world." Um, I mean, look, I'm. a I'm a people always yell at me and. say, "Oh, Hassan, you only say America. bad." Uh, but I don't just stop at that. Like, I I want America to be good. I. think America has incredible potential. It's the wealthiest nation on the. planet. It should be doing so much more. uh to to help its own citizens and so.

much more to lead the way, pave the way. for a new evolution of the way that we. look at international relations than the. way that we uh engage with conflict. Um. but the reason why America is the way it. is is because I see it as basically, you. know, 50 corporations in a trench suit. like it's just uh it's it's a hold over. to to extract tax revenue from everyday. Americans and then give it directly back. to corporations in the form of subsidies. without ever regulating them and and you. know demanding anything in return.

Lincoln as a young lawyer not yet 29. years old 28 years old addresses the. young men's liysum in Springfield. Illinois and he and they're discussing. foreign policy and he says whence shall. we expect the approach of danger shall. some transatlantic giant step the earth. and crush us at a blow and then he. answers his own question never all the. armies of Europe Asia and Africa could. not by force take a drink in the Ohio.

River or make a track in the Blue Ridge. in a trial of a thousand years. If. destruction be our lot, we must. ourselves be its author and finisher. We. are a nation of free men who will live. forever or die by suicide. >> Wow. >> So there's our challenge, right? You. want to get self involved. You want to. make the your neighbor your enemy. You. want to make lots of them. Then you are. headed towards that self-destruction. that Lincoln's talking about. You want. to figure out what we share in common.

this corny sort of civic virtue, civic. energy that is comes from the. Declaration of Independence, like how. you can work together to do it. And you. know, a lot of people who are. unbelievable citizens, it's like they go. to the schoolboard meeting. They like. they participate in, you know, we I live. in New England and we have a town. meeting and and you know, sometimes the. biggest decision is whether to buy a new. pumper for the fire department. That's a. big deal. That's civics. That's dealing. with the stuff. And it's also saying.

I've got to vote and I and I have a. responsibility as a citizenship to do it. and then we'll save our country. Then. then you know if if you like the. abstraction of of disagreement and. violence and all that sort of stuff or. suddenly just because your your feed. tells you one thing that somebody's an. enemy then you're lost. But if you look. across the room and you say, you know, I. don't share in common that much with. somebody who comes from Louisiana and. lives in Tennessee. I I was born in.

Brooklyn and grew up in Delaware and. Michigan and now lived in New England. for the last, you know, uh, 54 years. What would we have in common? We share a. love of those ideas. We share a love of. that process, the pursuit of happiness. God. See, the thing is, man, if Trump. succeeds. at the reshoring effort, >> the tariffs, >> yeah, that's part of it. But if in if in. general he gets manufacturing.

reinvigorated in this country, >> then there's going to be a challenge. that like a lot of people aren't talking. about, which which is labor, >> right? So there's in January there were. 482,000. open positions in manufacturing in this. country, right? 480,000 open positions. If he gets his way and this all gets. reinvigorated, you're talking about 2 or. 3 million new jobs, but there's there's.

no workforce sitting there going, "This. is what I want to do.". >> Or prepared to do it. >> They're not prep. So there's a skills. gap for sure. >> Okay. But there's also. a a will gap, >> right? >> Donald Trump is going down a road and if. he succeeds, he's going to create. millions of manufacturing jobs in a. country that currently has nearly. 500,000 manufacturing jobs open because.

the people who run those factories can't. find people who want to do the work. So, so it's not enough to create the jobs, right? >> And look, a lot of you your listeners. are probably thinking, well, make the. pay better, make it more make it more. interesting, make it more palatable. And. we can have that conversation for sure. But the bigger issue still is there. there's no enthusiasm for the work. We. took shop class out of high school. We. robbed kids of the opportunity even see. what that kind of work even looks like.

Meanwhile, we told a whole generation of. kids they were freaking screwed if they. didn't get a 4-year degree. Thomas. Massie, thanks for coming in, man. >> Absolutely. >> Good to see you, dude. >> Good to be here. Just had to cross the. state border to get here. >> Yeah, that's what I see from Kentucky. And you uh you drove like you just took. me into your home in your camper home. vehicle. >> It's a F250 with a truck camper and I. lived for two solid years in it in DC.

still occasionally do. >> And where would you park that thing at? >> Well, I don't want to disclose where I. park, but I did get in trouble. Uh I. parked the uh truck camper. It's a. Superduty. It's got a Even though it. fits in the back of a pickup. It's got a. shower, bathroom, stove, and a fridge. >> Oh, it felt super when I was in there. That living arrangement in there, I. could have definitely cozied up. It felt. very cool. The milk felt cold in there. We had a little cup of milk, which is. definitely raw [laughter] milk. >> Yeah. I'm sure. Hopefully. Don't tell. anybody across state lines with that.

>> It's holiday time and that means sitting. down and eating and watching loved ones. eat. Sometimes it can get a little. chaotic. I remember my aunt, we went to her house. one year and um she'd made a cornbread. dressing. type of deal and had not uh cooked it. Hadn't cooked it. Forgot she hadn't. cooked it and just put it out with the. other stuff and everybody ate it. And it. was just people thought it was just like. a weird soup or something and it was.

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act. >> Okay. >> So they're trying to put it on the men a. little bit more. >> So what exactly are they going to do. about this now? Well, a new bill in Ohio. would make it a crime for men to. ejaculate without intending to have a. baby. >> Oh, wow. That is that's definitely. something that I could see a lot of. people probably would be guilty of for. sure. >> Hey, shoot or shoot, you know. >> Yeah. Yeah, I could see that being I. mean, I don't want to get into too much. personal detail, but I think I'd. probably be locked up for a long time. [laughter].

>> Hey. Yeah. Oh, we're going to visit Tom. this weekend again. [laughter]. >> Yeah. My gosh. I thought he was going to. get parrolled. >> Plenty of time to break the law in jail, though. [laughter]. >> $10,000 per discharge. >> That's who. But here's the thing. Some. dude is just running around sking or. whatever they call it. And I don't know. what they call it in different. countries, but. >> they're not going to have an extra 10k. on them. You're gonna have the court. system would be filled with every every.

kid in the world, every 14y old kid. >> Yeah. I mean, I'm assuming Yeah. Does. this I don't I don't know how much I. want to talk about this in detail with. you. To be honest, >> I was going to say, you don't get. pregnant on your own. >> I was so lucky because you used to do a. little sniffy jiffy, I heard. And uh it. is um fun. There are negatives. >> Yeah. >> But we always start with the positives, especially about that. If I could afford. more when I was parking cars and being a. bus boy, I would have uh definitely gone.

crazy. I could not, thank God, I could. do a quarter gram in a weekend. Then I. just I could only afford 25 bucks. That. was it. And uh. >> yeah, >> even that wasn't money well spent. But. don't get all excited. You're getting a. boner. >> It is exciting. I mean, talking about. it, doing it, it was fun. It was hard to. just quit it. But it just I just watch. and you go, no way to have a career. There's no way to have anything good. with all this pressure and you got. to do. And people like to rat you out. And people like to say this guy, you. know, he's all little dishe.

Yeah, little power flower now and then. So, if they start getting that word out. there, I luckily never got that word. I. didn't do any of the whole SNL. And. that's the funniest part is that I did. dabbled a little bit before that just. cuz I was in show biz. >> And you're from Arizona, from Scottdale. >> Yeah, Scottdale. Yeah. Well, it doesn't. mean it wasn't really the cocaine. capital of the world, but you know, I. was in the comedy biz and a couple guys. had it and I was like I would. partake just for fun and uh. >> obviously and then.

>> Oh yeah, brother. >> But one time I did a lot and I was like, >> "Yeah, >> feel like I should go to the hospital.". >> Yeah. >> You know, [laughter]. keep saying. >> and then you'll walk over there. That's. the craziest is sprinted. [laughter]. No, because the funny thing is you just. turn into John Benet one bump and I'm. like I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy and I'm. feeling great and then I I I I made my. friend drive me. >> and I got there and he's like and it was. freezing and I was shaking and tight and.

and he goes, "You got to go in there.". And I and he goes, "But they're going to. ask." Because they did stand up for. about a year, >> right? >> And they go, "They're going to ask and. they're going to Yeah. >> They're going to have to call the. police." I go, "No, no, no." Extra. scared. and he cranks the heater on in. the car and I'm starting to. sweat. But this is a good friend because. he was there with me for three hours. He. goes, "I'll let you you should go in. there in a second, but just tell me. more." And I was like, I was calming. down. This was the trick. I didn't know. this. And my heart was going from like. 3,000 over 2,000 to like started to get. back to normal. And then it got light.

out. >> and then I go, "Let's go home." Oh, so. gross. And then I go, "I'll never do it. again." 40 days later. Hey dude, >> I'm jinking. >> What a great guy. >> There's [laughter] me and they make me. jump. Oh yeah, that's that's why people. gravitate to you because there's nobody. like you.

>> Well, thanks, man. I feel the same uh. about you. I feel like everybody does. Um, and you have a statue of me at your. house, so you know. >> So, yeah. Thank you, man. Yeah. Thank. you for letting them even do that. statue. What was that whole deal like. with them? With Michaels? That's where I. got mine at was at Michaels, >> right? >> Yeah. >> Did you do a Was it a collab or what was. it? >> Nope. No. They just. robbed my image and likeness because.

they could pass it [laughter] off, man. because they were doing it for religious. purposes. [laughter]. I allowed it to be. >> Well, thank you. >> We wish you a black Christmas. [laughter]. >> Hey, man. Look, I'd be honored to have. one. >> I'd be honored to have one. Yeah, man. I. cuz Yeah, when I met that guy there, he. said we got two left, man. You know, and. there was 200 and one of them was marked. down cuz it had a chip in it. >> Uh but um it's still, man, it's an. honor. I keep it up in my house year.

round [snorts] and people walk in and. they're like, "No way. That's Cat. William right there.". >> It is. >> And it's beautiful, man. >> Thank you. >> Yeah. This was in Cington, Louisiana. >> But um but yeah, they had. >> about 13 miles from Slidel. >> Yeah. There you go. >> Wow. Map Williams in the building, baby. Um. >> right. But and that's when I realized. >> don't make me go ge [laughter].

everybody's. >> dude. What about being the first gay. dude ever? It must have been crazy. because imagine everybody's straight, right? And you wake up or something. happens, you get hit by lightning or. whatever. >> and suddenly you're gay and you're like, "Oh my god." Like you're just talking to. your buddy who you who who you've talked. to every day for years and and you're. just like thinking like, "I'm going to. stuff his face with some. wiener." And you're like, "What?" And. and then you like don't like imagine. that cuz then you have to take some.

other guy aside or somebody aside and be. like, "Hey, this is going to seem. totally crazy to you guys.". But I keep thinking about. coming on Jacob or whatever, you know? And [laughter] people were like, "What?". >> Yeah, that does sound crazy. Don't tell. anyone that. Don't tell anyone that. You're the only one that thinks that. >> And a guy trying to jerk me off in the. back of a bus in Vietnam. >> You did? >> Yeah. And And the guy was gay. I. [laughter] I don't know what.

their I don't know some what their. culture is. That's a big sign usually. [laughter]. >> Dude, they're starving over there. That. guy could have been ordering soup. [laughter]. >> Dude, any joke it ends in soup. Jewish. people love it for some reason. >> I'm listening. It's a little cold. I'll. eat half and send it back. But I like. that joke. I'll eat half that joke and. send it back. [laughter]. Well, hold on. I'm almost done. >> Uh, there's a hair in here. [laughter].

It's the biggest problem with Jews going. bald. They can't send soup back. >> and I was just calling to ask. I uh, well, I'm secretly gay and I. >> Oh, secretly gay, the fella said. Let's. hear more. I I haven't told a lot of. people and I want to figure out how I. can tell my mom and I thought I could. get some advice on here. >> Okay, brother. Yeah, thank you for. calling, dude. Um, and congratulations.

on your uh gay ship or whatever it's. called, Gatum or whatever. Um, being. gay. Um, I mean, you there's different ways. you could go about it. You could do. something, you know, kind of fun. You. could do just like a knockk knockock. who's there. I'm gay. You know that old. trick or whatever. Or or or you could. get a deck of cards, right? You could. write I'm a gay son on each one. Put them like that. Have her pick one.

out. Say, "Pick one out and read it.". And bam, you don't even say nothing. She. says it. And then you could be like, "What the. do you mean?" you know, you could. uh roll switch or whatever. So that's, you know, that's reverse psychology, dude. So that's some that's crazy. >> Me and Big X, we almost did a song. Um. but I don't know. I didn't I I actually. sent him a song and he didn't finish it. So I don't know. That's on him. >> Um I guess I don't know what he was.

doing. >> He was in jail, >> did he? >> I think so. >> For what? Not Not a long time. Not long. enough. Not I went to jail, too, bro. [laughter]. Hey, if you behind bars, write a couple. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> You're on a pretty famous like text. chain with like other SEC coaches. This. is alleged. And. >> um Kirby Smart, uh Sarkeesian. Who What. are the vibes on the chain? I feel like. like what is it like on there? >> I feel like I keep it together. Like I.

keep the group together because like one. will beat the other or they'll say. something and they kind of like get mad. at each other and. >> then they won't like text for a week. If. like you beat him then he doesn't text. for a week or if they're playing each. other that week they certainly are going. to say anything. And I'm like guys and. by you beat him it means you when you. guys beat Georgia last year but go on I. feel it. >> But then I just say something that night. you know like hey man like. >> you'll probably get us next year you. know like they didn't like they don't. think that's funny you know like then. one of them side text me like hey man. you shouldn't have said that. Kirby's. pissed off, you know, and I'm like,

dude, it's just a game. Relax. We're. buddies. >> Do you guys vote on how another coach. gets into the text chain or what is the. >> Yeah, there's been conversations about. that. >> Really? >> Um. I just kind of I actually have They may. not know this. We're giving a lot of information out. today. Appreciate you coming so you kind. of give you some special insight. >> I have multiple ones. So sometimes I'll. say something, that guy's not in it, and. that guy's, you know, then this guy's in.

it. And so like I kind of make sure I. know who's in them, >> you know, when I say certain things, and. then, you know, every once in a while. got somebody does something and then I. like I move them out of the chat. >> No. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yep. It's It's happened, you. know. Jimbo Fisher removed from chat. >> RIP. >> And then like then I like put them back. in. >> Yeah. Yeah. But and and they're like. typical coaches. They don't know how to. remove somebody or add somebody. So, it's like pretty cool that I can do it. and they're like, "How do you do that?". >> Yeah. Yeah. Lane's one of them tech.

wizards. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Coaches are a little. behind time. That's a big deal to be. able to remove somebody from his head. like, "Whoa, he must really like have. somebody teaching him this stuff.". >> Yeah, dude. The Scots, man. They're. fascinating. They're just fascinating. You'd almost like I wouldn't be. surprised if you was in the US, you. know, and you're in a zoo and they had a. couple in there somewhere [laughter]. >> like you know be they're taken care of. and everything. >> Yeah. Drinking sort of like. >> they're healthy in there yelling at you. >> Yeah. Yeah. Screaming at the fences and.

stuff like Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like us. >> We're singing like a good um Do they. have like a lot of good like Scottish. songs and stuff? Oh flood of Scotland, when will we see your lake again that. fought in [singing]. for your weing. that stood against him against him proud. Edward's army. and sent him home.

[sighs] to think again. Come on. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's that's us. That's. one. That's a good one that we've got. We've also got um. >> what's your name? Ali Bali. Alib. sitting on your mom's knee. [laughter]. >> That's a good one. I don't know where. when it goes after that. >> Well, that one ends in the courts. I. think it sounds like, you know, >> exactly. >> That sounds like a domestics dispute. You know, >> you know, as soon as I tell people I. grew up in South Carolina, they're. always like, "Oh,

must have been so racist, all this. stuff." And of course there was there's. moments where it wasn't nice and and. >> like people calling you almost n word or. something like that. >> N word, not almost. Oh, really? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> All those people are nearsighted or. whatever. I don't. >> that's crazy. >> But there was also I feel like, you. know, there was a time I was writing. something and I asked my parents to just. tell me like I didn't want to write. stuff about people being racist to to. people. I wanted to write something. positive. I was like tell me things you. remember that were positive like.

experiences you had you know being cuz. someone cuz you know my parents are. there in the 80s it was different for. sure. >> they don't people there didn't even know. what Indian people were they didn't see. him in the culture they didn't see. nothing they didn't understand. >> it looks like a black person that they. didn't finish the job on or whatever. [laughter]. >> kind of you know no judgment. >> that let's just make sure that quote is. attributed to you. >> you have a new show uh that definitely. like sparked me up. It's Animals on.

drugs. >> That's right. We were texting when I was. in Columbia. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. It's on HBO Max as of like yesterday, I. think. Um. >> Oh, yeah. Dude, I was just [laughter]. like, "Dude, send me a gift from. Columbia so I can snort it, brother.". >> But take me through the show. Animals on. drugs because, you know, they had like. the cocaine bear. >> Uhhuh. Cocaine Bear, the movie. >> Cocaine Bear. And then they have I was. trying to think of some uh Oh, Cracoons. would be good. >> Cracoons. How did I not think of that as. a title? Come on, cracks. >> Bro, what is Bro, what's in that?

>> That's a no-brainer. [laughter]. >> What's that in your recycling bin? >> Yeah. >> You see a little bit of smoke coming up. from the recycling bin? >> Yeah, the bin's vibrating. Yeah. Uh, crackcoons. >> He's like, [laughter]. >> smiling. Yeah, >> crack. >> You went turkey hunting with Mike. Wadell, I heard. >> Oh, yeah, I did. >> Yeah, I went down there and it was fun. But it's like. I don't know some of the tur it's like. they just seem like an unwell bird. >> What do you mean.

>> turkeys? >> Unwell in what way? >> They just don't seem like they're. like like a top like I don't want to say. like they un like I don't want to say. uneducated. They just seem like they. >> like they got picked last for gym kind. of. >> Dude, that's the dumbest thing I've ever. heard, man. >> Really? >> Oh yeah. about a turkey. >> Yeah, if you look at a turkey, they seem. like they like they can't do they just. are Yeah, they just I don't know. They. weren't doing a lot. >> Dude, it's a big ass bird. His head.

changes colors from red to white to. blue. He tastes good. >> Yeah, he's basically the Toby. >> He walk around the woods making. insane noises. >> Yeah. Which. >> But I mean like he It's an omnivore. It. can eat all kinds of It can eat all. kinds of stuff. >> Okay. Well, now you're selling me on it. Yeah. What else? >> I mean, like what like. >> what what. >> name a better name a better bird. It's. like you could be Oh, a bald eagle. He. eats a bunch of rotten fish from the. side like like a turkey. That's.

America's bird. Dude, >> are you familiar with a gentleman named. Ben Franklin? >> Yeah. >> Okay. Do you know that Franklin didn't like. the bald eagle as a national bird. because it was a scavenger and he threw. out some it's debated how honest you. it's b it's debated if he was trying to. be a smartass or not. Ben Franklin said. America ought to go with the wild turkey. because at least it's a vain bird. >> What does vain bird mean? >> It's beautiful. He puffs his feather the.

the male puffs his feathers all out. >> Yeah. >> He's got a snood. He's got like a. imagine like a pecker on your laid. across your face. >> Okay. >> That changes all the time. It gets. erected. >> It goes limp. >> Turkey has that. >> Yeah, dude. >> It's like to just to like come in and. like start disparaging a turkey right. off the top of the bat. You don't know. me. >> I'm just Okay. [laughter] I'm just. saying. >> It's like very It's like uh it's. disrespectful. That That is a That is a.

That is the the best That's the best. bird in our in our country. >> It's so scary also to think about. I. always do this too many times. Like do. you think about truly how many animals. there are if all this food is being. given to people? It's so scary to think. about like how many like chickens are. murder not murdered but killed a day. Like. >> so many. Like even I'm just trying to. think about this reason like if I order. uh an order of wings at a bar and. there's 10 wings in there. Does that. technically mean that I'm having five. chickens? Like two wings of chicken? I.

think there are some chickens that have. more than two. >> 206 million a day. >> Globally, approximately 206 million. chickens are killed for food each day. >> It's a wild stat. >> It's a wild stat. >> Holy dude. It's like. >> since we started talking about this, 140,000 chickens just died. >> Oh, >> that's wild. >> That's the original Gaza right there, dude. That's crazy. I can't believe. they're doing that. What else we got? Oh, in two separate um recent WNBA games. have been plagued with a new problem. Unruly spectators throwing sex toys onto.

the court. Hm. Oh god. >> I saw a picture. >> I mean, it is kind of wild, I guess, to. But first of all, I'd embrace it if I'm. the WNBA, right? I would shoot those. things out of a t-shirt candidate during. Pride Month or whatever. >> Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I mean, if. it if things get wild and people start. tuning in, that's great. It's good. money. You know, you don't want people. to get hurt. And I guess that's. disrespectful, but it's like, yeah, make. it turn the negative around. >> Yeah, let's put a positive spin on it. I.

mean, that lady was excited. You know. what [laughter] I'm saying? And I don't. know if that's AI. It could be AI. I. just saw a woman with they have a woman. that has two. cudas. Actually, I saw she's on TikTok. the other day. There's a woman. >> What now? Are you. >> No, I'm talking about the anatomy now. I'm changing the. >> You want to hear of Okay. No. Go. Yeah. Go. There is a woman who has two vaginas. that's on Tik Tok. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Uh she sent a DM the other day to me the. other day. >> How many DMs did she send? One of each. One for me, [laughter].

>> dude. Dude, she sent replica DMs. That's. insane. >> So, can I tell you a story? >> Yeah. >> So, I'm uh I'm at my boy's wedding and. we're he's from he's from Ohio. We're at. the, you know, reception now, the after. reception. We're all just hanging out in. the hotel room and the one dude's like, "Yo, do you remember uh remember that. girl I went to high school with with two. vaginas?" And he's like, "Dude, you're. talking about Cheryl." And then his. other buddy's like, "Yo, double barrel. Cheryl." And I just thought that was the.

funniest nickname I've ever. heard in my life. Double barrel Cheryl. I was like, "That's got to go in some. American Pie type movie. Just double. barrel Cheryl." So as soon as you. started talking about that, I was like, "Oh, I have one.". put her in a museum. >> But she used to apparently she used to. say like, "This one's for my boyfriend. I'm saving this one for my husband.". >> Oh, >> yeah. Yeah. >> Kind of [laughter] beautiful. >> Yeah. Yeah. Right. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Cuz I would just I would if I had. both I Dude,

>> you'd blow them both in the first week. >> Yeah. Exactly. [laughter]. Exactly. Dude, >> no. I'd be like, I'm saving this one for. after dinner or whatever. But I would. definitely, dude. Bro, you telling me I. would love a [snorts] hug from. somebody's grandmother. God, those hugs are. just the way you land in them. It's like. being at a spa. You get a young hug from one of these. young Some of them are strong.

and They got, you know, some chick hugged me that day. She had a couple damn dumbbells in her. hand, two barbells, 3 and 12 pounders. Like, what the is this? But you get a hug from a grandmother, she got them damn catcher mitts full of. love. She got two of them baby. And them arms go right into the tits. They ain't even a difference, bro. [snorts] That's just a big bicep.

Tit. tit. bicep tit that's just a damn. [clears throat and snorts] that's a. love seat. and she got them two arms like a damn. front end loader that will hug. you. God, it's hard to know if you it. would seem like you seem like a guy who. likes being in Hollywood or doesn't like. being in Hollywood. I guess. >> there's things I really like about it. and things I really don't like, right? And I wish they didn't have to be. together, but they are, right? Like it's.

kind of life. It's there's you got to. take the good with the bad. >> because they always get pictures of you. where you seem like you're like the the. the dwarf that like is kind of like the. backup dwarf, you know? Like you're on. the side, you're smoking. You're like, >> "What is that guy? I didn't I don't know. that character, but like. >> you're like, is he pissed?". >> I [laughter] think he's a little pissed. Yeah, he's understudy. >> He's the understudy dwarf. Okay. >> But and not dwarf like you're a regular. heighted guy, but it's like But I And I. shouldn't have said dwarf. I shouldn't. say anything, but it was like um I don't. know. They all and it's like they only. put this chronology out of you that.

makes you seem like you're kind of. bummed. >> Well, here's the thing. Um if the only. time like when somebody's taking a. picture of me, I'm bummed because. usually I'm with my kids. I'm trying to. go somewhere and then there's four guys. who like and I'm like, "Hey man, every. time can you give me some time? I'm. trying to be with my kids. I'm do you. mind? Can you you know what I mean?" So. the look on your face is kind of like. and then they go away not taking the. picture. You go inside and you're having. a good time. It's this selective. experience of like take a picture of. somebody every time they're feeling. irritated, they're going to look.

irritated. Especially if you're the one. irritating them. >> Yeah. It's like I'll come piss you off. and then take your picture and then put. and then be like, "Look how pissed off.". >> That's [laughter] exactly right. >> That's exactly what that's exactly what. that whole system is really, >> right? But and it's like useful because. that's why like you know I'm sure you've. seen on all the stuff like the you know. it's kind of the idea is like follow. somebody around antagonize them and then. hopefully they'll have like a nervous. breakdown and go crazy on you and then. your video will be worth more money you. know. >> Yeah. It's it's such a it's that whole. thing gets really black mirrorish man.

>> I'm like you. I'm super critical on. myself. [sighs]. If I don't honor the commitments I made. to myself I'm a [clears throat]. >> Yeah. >> You know. >> Yeah. [laughter] Definitely. And here's. the crazy thing I would do, Kevin. I. would go I would go for a run one day or. do something and then I'd be like we. grinding every day. I'm gonna go I'm. gonna go run a million mile. Next week. I'm running seven miles. And then the. next day I wouldn't even go for a run. But I'd have built up all of this steam. in my head like I was in the Olympics. And so then I'd let myself aspirations.

were so diabolical and ridiculous that. but when I did let myself down I would. let myself fall from the heights of my. aspirations. Not even from You just run. Yes. You just took one run and you just. one neighborhood over and you got. yourself at the Olympic trials in. Atlanta. Like but the the shame I would. feel would be the fall from the Olympic. trials and I only went damn. probably 1100 ft. >> That's why everybody that tell me they. want to get into fitness. They be like. what you think I should do first? I say.

baby steps. >> Baby steps. [laughter] Take baby steps. If you walk in the gym and walk out, you. still showed up. You did something that. you wouldn't have done yesterday. Maybe. this time you might get on a trail man. walk for maybe two or three minutes. >> I don't know. Who knows? Start drinking. more water. Baby steps. Like every like. everything is baby steps. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I would never even give myself the. grace of like, let me have those baby, you know? >> Then you know something else I used to. do? >> I used to compare myself to people that.

was taking steroids and all of that and. I'm like I want my body to look like. this. >> And I'm like, >> yeah. And I used to I used to watch them. dudes say stuff like, "If if you ain't. got no six-pack, you fat, homie." And I. was like, "Damn, I'm fat.". >> So, I had unrealistic expectations. I'm. just like you. And then I start giving. myself grace and I'm like, >> "Yeah, >> I didn't even come in it to look like. that. I just wanted my clothes to be. able to fit good.". >> Yeah. >> I just I just didn't want to be titty. man anymore.

>> Yeah. Yeah. He didn't want to have them. nice titties on it, boy. >> Breastes. I just I just didn't want to. be titty man anymore. And then you start. comparing yourself to other people and. you lose we lose ourselves in what we. really wanted. What was our goal? I just. wanted I wanted a bedroom body. >> That's it. That's it. [laughter]. >> That's it. That's all. >> When you get up really really crazy high. in life, >> you're too high. >> You're Madison Square Garden and all. this kind of crazy that I was. doing. It's like the fall will kill you.

>> And uh. >> cuz it's not a human height. It's not. human and there's no oxygen up there and. there's no drag on your wings and it's. lonely and it doesn't have it it's not. affected by your feelings anymore. It's. just this other thing. But. when I went back to work and I was like. I'm doing clubs again. How's that going. to feel? And I'm sitting in the funny. bone in St. Louis and the Coke the. machine that sends Coke to the bar is is. next to my head and I'm sitting there.

>> and there's the smell of chicken wings. and pizza and I'm doing retail comedy. one, you know, I was happy as I. was so happy to be telling the jokes to. people whose faces I could see and whose. admission price is is they're giving. that to me as a as a gift and they're. going home happy. And I got back to that. level of comedy and it was really. beautiful. >> That's where I live now. I mean I I do. the theaters cuz I'm still a. pig. I still want I still like it. But.

>> well, and some of them are nice too. >> Some of them are nice with the Ryman in. >> Oh yeah, >> Nashville. Beautiful. >> I'm excited to come over there. I think. even this year's been tough for me. It's. just like um. >> yeah, I just feel like work's gotten. busy and it just makes me scared kind of. a little bit and it's like, >> you know, and then popularity makes you. scared and that's kind of scary and then. you're just like. >> looking at you're just like what am I. even. >> you you're like I can't even feel like I. can't even the controls feel far from my. hand sometimes. Not not like I'm doing.

crazy stuff or anything, but just like. >> you know I just I don't know. No, it's. it's it is scary and it should be. That's the thing is it's like another. electricity. You got to respect it. It's. not it's not small a small thing being. famous and it can go bad and it's it's. your fault cuz you got into it. >> Yeah. >> But that's I don't know. It's also a. human thing to want to share your work. and want to be out there, you know, but. once when when it goes bad, you get in. this predicament of like I want to go to.

each person's house and tell them what. really happened and what you know, the. little things that are that aren't in. the way this, you know, and that's just. never going to happen. Yeah. >> And at this point with all to me, I just. want to get I just I just want to live. if you had to share something with. somebody who had lost a sibling or who. had dealt with, you know, some grief. from loss, something that you've learned. because I mean, you're like almost the. the Neil Armstrong of loss. I mean, you've you've had you've endured a lot. in your life, you know, and watched and.

watched other loved ones endure a lot, you know. Um, what what have you kind of. learned that you feel like you could. share, if anything? Well, thank you for giving that. opportunity because that's what I want. to do is to try to make it positive for. somebody, buddy. But, um, [snorts] you. know, it's tough cuz I want to tell. people like when somebody dies, it's. going to get better, but it doesn't get. better, man. You don't even get used to. it. It just keep tolerating it and you.

just somehow it gets a little better. someday. But there's no good word to say. to them. But when somebody's really. busted up, you know, and. I if when you. overcome that and are able to um um. maintain through that, well, then it's. it's now you now you've uh you've. achieved through a struggle. You've. achieved over an an obstruction. you've. gone over a a hurdle, you know, and it's.

like. now you can say you won. Now you can say. you won something because without a. fight there can't be a winner. There. can't be a champion. There can't be a. success unless there's that adversity, you know. And so [snorts] God wouldn't. put you through that unless you're going. to benefit. And Theo, you got a great mind. You're. an intelligent guy. I can tell. Oh, thanks, man. >> Life is He's knocking on your door, too, my friend.

>> You, too. I feel like you and me are. probably pretty similar in some ways. You feel that? I. >> sure do. >> I do, too. So, um, this kind that No, David, that leads exactly to um kind of. what I was thinking about. My next. question is how does our quality of life. affect our beliefs about the about death. or the afterlife? [gasps]. >> Well, you know, I think this is. something where neuroscience actually. has something to offer. >> Okay. Right. So when I first started. studying the brain, you know, 40 plus.

years ago, I was taught, well, the brain. just kind of sits there and it waits to. react to something. Something comes in. your senses. You hear something, you see. something, your brain does something, and then you move your muscles and you. respond to it. And that's what it is. The brain's kind of sitting there. waiting for something to happen. It's a. reactive organ. >> Like a two-stroke motor or something, >> right? And and and and well, even not. like a two-stroke motor that isn't even. started yet. it's waiting for someone to. pull the rip cord, right, for it to. start up. Um, and what we now know, the. modern conception of the brain is that.

when you're just sitting there spacing. out, your brain is really busy and it is. a prediction machine. Your brain is. trying to figure out what's going to. happen next in the near term. What does. that mean? It means that our brain is. wired to presume that there will always. be a near term that there will be a. future. >> right and so you know uh I got diagnosed. with terminal cancer. Uh I was told four.

years ago that I had 6 to 18 months to. live and you know while I mean of course. that was really upsetting and I was. freaking the out about it. Uh, in. addition, you know, I could do practical. stuff. Oh, I better write my will. I. better have this conversation with my. kids. I better uh, you know, make sure. this is done in the house and like these. letters are written for my students, you. know, so then to go on the next part of. their career, like all that practical. stuff.

>> Right. Exactly. And uh but in terms of. actually deeply engaging with myself not. being there anymore, with my own demise, I felt like, you know, I was skittering. across the ice. You know, I couldn't. really dig in and grab it. I couldn't. really think about what it's like for me. not to be there anymore. And I thought, well, is this a personal failing? Do I. just suck? And I I thought well maybe.

but [laughter] I mean I do but we all do. >> but uh you know what I'm thinking. fundamentally is that this is not. something that we as humans are designed. to do. Our brains are hardwired to. predict their near future which presumes. that there will be a near future. Right? And so. if you. extrapolate this a little bit. >> and what does extrapolate mean just so.

people know except. >> I'm sorry if you kind of move on to the. next step. >> okay. >> right of what this means for faith right. if you go around the world nearly every. not absolutely every but nearly every. religion in the world has an afterlife. or reincarnation story very few. religions Judaism is is one you're dead. and there isn't actually a story about. what happens after you're dead, but. almost every other one does. Uh the big.

voice you go to heaven, you meld with. the divine, you're reincarnated, but. there's something that happens. These. stories are exceedingly popular all over. the world in all cultures. Well, I think. that the reason they are is because of. this brain bug we have. We can't imagine. ourselves dead because our brains are. hardwired to predict the future. And. that's why we have these afterlife and. reincarnation stories in faiths all over. the world. And so I have total sympathy.

for these, not just because I'm. diagnosed with terminal cancer because I. see them as something deep and. fundamental to what it is to be human. >> and something that binds us all. Have. you ever met someone and you were like I. could play that person? Like is that. because that would be like kind of like. I feel like if I were an actor that. would be like my power like you would. corner somebody in a in a room of a. party and you be like I could. play you in a heartbeat. >> Huh? >> You know does that happen with the good.

actors? >> I [laughter] I don't know. You have to. ask good actors. I think I remember when. I was young I remember doing this movie. and the one of the other actor was. talking to the director and he was like. wouldn't it be cool if you know Walking. did you know this kind of movie you know. kind of like so and so and he mentioned. this other actor that was like my peer. was like like the actor right. >> and the director was like yeah but I. mean Keen is no so and so like. >> and and he was like and and the other.

actor was like dude that's so up. to say the director was like No, no, no. I just I mean that in the best way. Like. you're a character actor. Um character. Fred Arway always. >> Yeah. >> character actor Yeah. Like it's is like. kind of code for like you can't really. like you're never going to really get. there, but you'll work. >> And um. and that pissed me off. But but. here's the thing. But it pissed me off. cuz I was like, "No, I I have more like.

that's not um there's more that will. come out that will come out of me." And. I just um but I think I ultimately. appreciate it because it it made me go. like, well, how do I find. >> that way? Like how do I find more? Yeah. There was just something like there was. something special about that time where. it was like uh. I don't know the moment meant so much. more you know there was something there. used to be something about the past that. the moment you couldn't copy you.

couldn't record it like I think that's. why those times [clears throat] you talk. about some of this in your book man and. uh it's like about time and like god. like the moments of when I was a kid or. sitting there laughing with my friends. like the moment was so much more real. because you were never going to get it. again. >> right and you didn't you couldn't necess. necessarily record it and you sure as. hell they couldn't share it. There's a. study on this, man. I don't know. I'm. going to say it's like 20 years ago or. 25. The moment was the biggest dopamine. rush, the jump, the cresting of the.

mountain, the pulling off whatever you. tried to pull off. >> Yeah. >> Scientifically measured, the biggest. dopamine hit. Cameras and, you know, mobile devices. and stuff come out. It slowly turned to. the recording of the moment. the. snapshot. Okay, not the cresting of the hill, but. >> we just recorded it now. Ownership of. the moment. Ownership of the moment, right? >> And then what has happened now and has. been around for 25 years. The biggest.

scientific dopamine hit that we get as. humans is not the doing of the deed, is. not the recording of the deed. It is. when we press share. >> Really? Now, that's a little bit like. living in third person. Like, we're all. running around going, "My rush is not. when I run for a touchdown. My rush is. when I see myself on the jumbotron. running for the touchdown.". And that's a that's a slippery slope,

man. You know what I mean? >> Well, it's slippery, but it also seems. hard to even conceptualize who I am. then, you know? >> Yeah. >> Am I myself? Am I just a viewer of. myself now? >> That's it. We're much more much more. voyers now, >> right? >> And our identity comes from being. objective, trying to look at ourself. from outside and now comes from well, what did you think of what I did and how. >> Yeah. >> And that's the worst. What do you think. of what I did? Because. >> that will be who that will be my. definition of who I am.

>> Who I am. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That we got to watch that. >> Riley Mau. >> Yes, sir. >> What is something that you are kind of. grateful for this year? little thing in. the world that like is there a moment or. something in the world that makes you. feel some gratitude? >> Yeah. Yeah. I've got a uh got a little. baby coming along the way. God dang.

You have a hu you have a baby coming. >> I do. Oh my gosh, bro. Unreal, dude. Congratulations, man. >> Thank you. >> Oh my gosh, bro. Dude, I remember when. you hadn't even um come out of your own. nuts or whatever. Remember that? >> Yeah. >> Wow. And now you're like, I'll show them. Wow, dude. I'm going to make this ski.

grow up. That's a That's crazy, dude. Um, and is it a male or female? Do you. know? Have y'all looked at it? >> It's a male. >> Amen. Brother God. has got you, man. I want We can even pray about it right. now. You care if we pray about it for a. second? >> Yeah, let's do it. >> Let's do it, man.

God, we just want to thank you today. Um, you know, in times where we're. uncertain about things and where we it. feels like it's tough to get a foothold, that sometimes our sense of purpose. waines uh based on our society that uh. that you can remind us that there are. important things in the world. Um, God, we want to thank you so much for giving. Riley. um a chance to be a father. You know,

when I met Riley, he was barely he. hadn't even had any. uh. se I'm going to say it fast, so it's not. cuz we're we are in a prayer. He hadn't. even had any semen come out of his body. And here he is just. serving blast sauce and just having it. grow up into something beautiful. And we. want to lift this child up to you, God, before it's even here. Uh, and what's. the name of the child, Riley? >> Uh, we've haven't announced it yet.

>> Okay. God, we want to lift up this unannounced. child to you that at this point is still. just a batch of seaman and egg. um that uh that you may that you are. helping. uh cultivate and moisturize. Um and so. we just want to lift that up to you God. and say thank you for reminding us what. is purposeful and that we can find. purpose in family. Rod uh amen ladies. and gentlemen Steven Wilson Jr.

Thank you sir. [music]. 1 2 3 4. Gary these days [music and singing] been. lying in his bed man. working on the same car going on a. decade. [music]. scribbles on drum mail don't draw. attention [music].

I never really noticed but now that I. mention. >> [music]. >> Ain't a lot of boys named Gary [singing]. these days. Born with a cigarette glued. to their face. Fixing about [music]. anything a hammer can't handle. Saving. on money cuz a Gary don't gamble. Ain't. a lot of girls going by Debbie anymore. But they got the same nicotine [music]. pouring out the pores. Time leaves town. but the minute hand stays.

There ain't a lot of boys named Gary. [music] these days. [music]. A Gary these days been worried about the. bad news. [music]. There ain't a lot of teenagers filling. up [music] the church pews. No. burning bush likes don't talk to his. brother.

[music] The people even still say grace. before slippery. There ain't a lot of. boys [music] named Gary these days. Born. with a cigarette glued to their face. Fixing about anything a hammer can't. handle. Saving all the money cuz a Gary. don't gamble. [music] Ain't a lot of. girls going by Deb anymore. But they got. the same nicotine pouring out the. course. [music] Time leaves town but the. minute hand stays. [music]. on boys named Gary these days.

[music]. [music]. a damn thing. for [music] me. [music]. The amazing God that lives in little. black peace on the stor.

[music]. [music]. I had a weird suspicion with the light. out on the front porch. [music]. Hard medication poured down where the. [singing] drain pours. He holds his left arm while his parakeet.

prays. Has anybody seen much of Gary these. days? [music]. Has anybody seen much of [music] Gary. these days? >> [music]. >> There ain't a lot of ain't a lot of. boys.

Hey, [music]. hey, [music]. hey. [singing]. [music]. Heat. Heat. [music].

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