Bert Kreischer | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #565

I have some new tour dates to tell you. about I'll be in Chicago Illinois on. April 24th at the Wind Trust Arena Fort. Wayne Indiana on April 26th at the Allen. County war memorial coliseum and Miami. Florida on May 10th at the casa Center. all tickets at theo. comom today's guest is a stand-up. comedian a podcaster an actor you know. him from his shows Bert cast and two.

bears one cave with Tom sigura he's got. a new special coming out on Netflix. called lucky which premieres March. 18th I'm grateful to have my friend the. machine here today Mr Bert. [Music]. Cher we find a song I been singing. [Applause].

there's a woman out there teaching her. kid how to ride a bike no I could do it. in five minutes you want to do it a. buddy it's part of my what I'm working. on in therapy really let people have. their own thing oh yeah I'm I'm I get my. fingers and everything and I just was. like hey here's what we do we take off. the pedals okay and you teach him to. just Glide with his feet and lift his. feet up that's how I did it with both my. girls then we go to a subtle decline.

and we do it that way with feet up the. whole way then we put the pedals back on. teach them how to Pedal so easy yeah. yeah riding a bike the toughest thing I. remember well first some guy who's. teaching you don't know him usually in. my neighborhood you didn't know him it. was like some dude's dad would' be out. there drinking or something he's like. I'll teach this little whatever you know. you're like well that's not that's a. that's not how it works at all yeah well. you definitely know the guy well yeah. but yes but a lot of times you also. don't know you some people some places. you don't know the guy or if your dad.

isn't there or whatever so there's some. guy who sets his beard down he's like. I'll teach this little mother you know. almost did that out front yeah yeah okay. that makes sense that tracks yeah so. then then that guy like so now suddenly. there's some guy teaching you don't even. know or whatever and then they get you. going right and that part's good but the. scary part is then you realize you have. to steer and that's where a lot of. people just bank right two things twice. you have to pedal and steer and it's and. it's it's counterintuitive my Isa the.

first time I taught her how to ride a. bike I got her going like pedals off. gliding pedals back on here we go and. boom hit a BMW hard as [ __ ] over the. handlebars body mark on top of the hood. and I was like God so then oh my God she. goes I'm good dad second time we get her. she hits a trash can right away I'm like. God dang and then third time she hit a. fire hydrant and then we realized she. needed glasses oh yeah yeah we got to. get her glasses that point she's dlex.

too she hit so much [ __ ] we got a video. of her she she just that kid has been. are we rolling are we good huh I don't. know are we okay good okay we were we. that kid rolled the dice on life so much. so much do you know the feeling of when. you cut your bike front tire and it goes. like this she would she would do that. that's how she rode a bike she liked her. stomach to drop so she'd. go and Georgia had a GoPro on her helmet. and Isa did it and then went over the. handlebars and it's the cutest video. Georg looked to me go Dad I got it.

capture the footage yeah it was great. wow you guys are a footage family you've. always been kind of a footage family. then yeah but it was before content. really right like I mean we you know I. got an Instagram to not to for. professional reasons I got Instagram to. keep up with people I knew in high. school and college and then you're like. oh in comics cool no one was posting. videos of like promo videos no and um. and then I shared everything about my. family on everything I remember the.

first time I realized maybe I was. oversharing is I posted our Christmas. card on on Instagram and someone hit me. up guy we both know that we respect hit. me up he was like dude what are you. doing I was like and it got like a. million likes and I was like you know I. don't know he get addicted to the likes. you're like nice [ __ ] killed it and. then you don't realize your kids that. all their friends see that and then. you're putting you're taking toothpaste. out of the tube that you never put back. in but that was was we were creating. content not knowing what we were doing. oh I you were saying like you were like. maybe you were putting things that might.

have been too personal out there you. mean way too personal way I mean I. talked about isa's period on one of my. specials o and you weren't there for the. first period or whatever were you oh my. god dude and what you in like candles or. whatever. huh yeah we did hang on yeah dude as a. comic okay uhhuh you certain things. happen to us where we go that's too good. that's got to go on stage like something. happens and you're like this it's like. just it's a I don't know if it's like a. I don't know like if it's a neediness or. whatever is but she got her period And I.

I mean I talked about on special but she. called me from school and she's like yo. it happened I was like yeah she's like I. go what do you need like new socks or. like she's like know new panties new. pants new whatever she goes no go to go. to the store and get a red velvet cake I. was like huh she goes we're throwing a. period party and I was. like wow I was like okay be positive huh. immediately as we as as the night went. through and by the way I'm put it on all. social media cuz it's funny and no one.

no one has a frame of reference for how. big this is getting you know and you're. just filming and you're laughing and. everyone's laughing and then I love the. next morning was like yo maybe we want. to take that off social media maybe I. don't want everyone I went to school. with to know I got my period yesterday. and I was like yeah good call a. 10-year-old or 12-year old whatever you. are God I don't know if people got I. mean I guess people trying to. remember I think if somebody got their. period in our neighborhood people would. just start calling him a [ __ ] or. whatever you know like I think people. were just yeah people were were more.

vulgar in our area I think you know if. anything happened it was everybody. always made you feel ashamed no matter. what happened to you you know oh okay. yeah I've been talking about shame a lot. in therapy have you been yeah you just. said well you just said you that you you. saw somebody who was trying to teach her. kid to ride a bike because I heard. something going on out there I heard. something that sounded kind of Mexican. or whatever happened outside it was very. Mexican yeah yeah I heard like something. kind of Mexican happen outside earlier. and I was like I wonder what's going on. but I'm not going to get involved I got. to work right now but you came in you. said you saw a mom teaching a kid to.

ride a bike yeah and you were going to. get involved I wanted to get involved. yeah and I just was like no this is. their life what am I doing like what. part what need do I have to jump in make. it an event event like and then I don't. know so I was like I'm working on that. in therapy too just like removing myself. slowing down listening yeah well l and i. in couples therapy oh y'all are it's. awesome no way yeah I'm I'm [ __ ]. killing her like I've gon I've won three. she's only won two two ties.

I'm smoking her dude the very first. therapy the very first therapy the. therapist like I was just I just I like. we went into Coupes therapy in a good. place we're in a good place but the. girls both went to college we're. spending a lot of time together you know. and like I just both of us were like. yeah this is just different than we've. ever lived I've always been on the road. home Tuesday th Wednesday gone Thursday. back Monday and now all the sudden and. I'm taking a break from standup right. now so I'm taking like a year off and. we're just around each other so much.

we're like maybe we should like just be. in front of it in case something happens. right like see what's going on yeah W. yeah and so yeah the first therapy that. therap lean interrupted me and the. therapist goes now you know me right he. goes does he ever. talk I was like oh this is awesome she's. got I'm got lean got crossed up she like. on her heels she's like wait what the. [ __ ] he won't shot the [ __ ] he's just. not talking now I never [ __ ] like it was. like oh yeah this bad.

damn dude who who picked a therapist. that's the thing that happens a lot of. times is with couples I think you get if. you pick a therapist and it's almost. like that's your you have like um you. know like the insider trading on the. referees or whatever you know yeah yeah. yeah she picked the therapist she did y. I'm not I'm never going to find a. therapist yeah and was it weird and one. of the things they said in there was. that you got to let people do their. thing yes I need to slow down I have. fomo I want to be involved in everything. I want to like I just I get I feel like. I've done too much just looking at you.

like if I look at you I'm like oh [ __ ] I. got to sit down for a minute dude I get. when I wake up when I wake up if I hear. something happening downstairs I got to. go downstairs I go what what are we. doing Hang on we're playing with the. dogs I want to be a part of that yeah. like I dude I and I had my day starts. early and it just I I slam it CU if I. have any downtime I get in my head I get. on my phone I don't it's it's just not. positive and so I pack my days I had a. therapist tell me one time you have fomo. wow I was like that doesn't sound like a. therapy yeah that well I mean it's just.

crazy you would yeah I guess you hear. something you want to go see it you want. to be a part of it you want to know. what's going on yeah like do when when. you got sober did that change because. there has to be a part of you when you. get sober where you go hey man they're. all going out but I'm cool staying home. I don't have that oh no I just didn't. what the best thing that happened from. that was at at like 11:30 or midnight I. was like I'm [ __ ] heading home so you. just didn't end up like in the. retardation. hours you know you didn't end up [ __ ].

you know sneaking into somebody's house. through an air V or some [ __ ] [ __ ] or. some dude tricking trying to trick you. into being gay or whatever you know like. I'm so glad when I hear you talk like. that I go I definitely don't have a. problem I've never known anyone to climb. through an air vent oh dude have you. seen that there's a great um meth. tribute video. where a guy shows up through a floor air. vent in somebody's trailer. that [ __ ] was something else dudee when.

I was a kid my buddy Jeff he had like a. lot of violent tendencies or whatever I. don't know what happened to him but he. would get so angry his parents would. send him to his room and he would beat. the drywall out of the walls of his room. and every year for Christmas they would. get the drywall redone in his room oh. that's very sweet of them and he would. listen to that song you got to keep them. separated I just met those dudes. freaking fre. do you know that they got they said I.

was talking to the uh to Dexter and uh. and [ __ ] Slinky it's not Slinky. Dexter what noodles Dexter noodles and. they said you know that uh a lot of. white supremacists adopted that song O. yeah you know other song white. supremacist adopted huh uh These boots. are made for walking and that's just. what they'll do but the white. supremacist one of these days these. boots are gonna walk all over you Jews. oh stomp yeah.

damn there's a yeah yeah yeah I heard. that in the the old school you ever. watch the old school cuxs Clan videos. did they do they didn't do a music video. did they I don't think so I haven't seen. that if they did they would be like the. videos where it's like the one British. guy infiltrates the clan and he's like. so I'd like to talk to your son and he's. like so do you have a problem with black. people oh I know you're talking about. dude Louis tho Louis tho yeah and then. he'd go to like their [ __ ] their big. barn and they're burning his cross and's. like I feel a little uncomfortable this.

isn't really my cup of tea oh the cross. is a little warm can you turn down the. heat a little close to the Cross can we. do smaller crosses maybe spread them out. evenly by the tables kind of like a heat. lamp he goes actually my wife's a bit. cold could you spark up a small cross. near her do you think that was the first. cross Bing they're like well we want to. get us right here but there's people on. the side so like let's get spread it out. like the fire is too centralized well I.

think that's why you that's probably why. they burn across it's kind of the. perfect [ __ ] heat lamp right I don't. understand I I mean I'm sure it's. ominous to see a cross burning in your. front yard but I'd be if I saw that and. I'm like 2 in the morning I'd be like. [ __ ] sweet yeah like nice I believe. in God yeah [ __ ] yeah i' be like oh damn. we got a mega Death rally happening we. have what is this our organization is. just interview ding our fascinating is. advertising the literature we put out is.

he curtain Courtney too I think he's. done a lot of documentary he done T but. he does like gossip document you yeah. it's always and it's a little it was. almost. a will the skin hurt in the crowd please. leave immediately how about a lighter. could be handy for cross burnings I. don't that's no that's not cool you you. can't use a big lighter for a cross. light no no you have to use a torch or. something how come. looks can't use a big lighter for a.

cross burning hang on hang on let's hang. on pick that apart that is [ __ ]. hilarious if they've built the cross. it's covered in [ __ ] kerosene and you. see a. guy at the bottom I can't get it hang on. it's too. windy like someone trying to light a. cigarette Behind The Comedy Store hey. somebody comes staying like this and. it's a bunch of guys going like. this dude one time I was at this party. out in Franklin Tennessee and they had. like a huge bonfire right and so they. were and they had one black guy that was.

at the party right. and they sent him to pour the gasoline. on all this hu was a huge politics you. had to climb up I mean it was humongous. it was probably a little gas goes a long. way I agree and it was 40 feet wide and. probably 20 ft high this pile and I was. like and there was American flags. everywhere I was like you cannot send. the one black I was like if anything. happens right there yeah this looks. absolutely like being with your Jewish. friend and go hey there's something in. the back of my oven can you climb in and. see if you can get it out you're like no.

[ __ ] no well that's why Jews inv beened. the selfcleaning oven dude they're. like they're like we're not doing that. we're not falling for that. again oh oh [ __ ] they're gonna make us. take that out. probably they can't huh well unless the. Jews actually invented the self-cleaning. oven then it's just [ __ ] it's just. then that's just factual information. dude I can't so I can't believe you're. in therapy so that's going on yeah I. like it you do I didn't do therapy I. quit therapy for a period of time cuz I.

was talking too much meaning two bears. birdcast something's burning and tour so. I'm Every Day I'm talking like four. hours a day and I was like I just was. losing my voice like crazy I was like I. can't talk I just don't physically want. to talk anymore and then uh and then. when I took time off I was like like. second I took time off like my first. week I got really depressed so I was. like I don't know really yeah yeah but. are you able to figure out like what. that depression CU otherwise it's not. torn oh not not being on the go not.

being not being not being on the go not. having something going not like hey uh. we got to pack you up we got to get you. to dot do dot we're going out to Boston. you're doing the thing but you already. have you've done so much like don't you. worry that burn like continuing to burn. it at that speed would burn you out or. maybe you just don't get burned out no I. don't get burned I I don't get burned. out what was happening to me was. creative like creatively I just felt. like I was just spinning my wheels and. nothing good was coming out oh yeah and. so I was like I got to like I got done. this last hour this premiering on. Netflix March 18th I think 18th someone.

check that um uh lucky and and I when I. got done doing that hour I feel like I. you know how like when we get you know. how when you start a new hour you scrap. everything and then you go to your. jokebook you go I got like 20 minutes. right I for this special I dumped. everything [ __ ] seven minute stories. turned it into a three minute story I. dumped everything I just piled this my. first four minutes was initially like 10. minutes and I crammed it so I wanted it. to be good cuz it's like you know it's. like my six special so I don't want. people to think I got lazy but then when.

I got done I was like yo I I need to I. need to write and I was like my girls. are in college I'm with Leanne all the. time like what am I talking about like. who am I what am I going to like and so. I was like I'm taking time off but my. first week I'm sitting in my backyard. and I'm just like depressed looking at. people touring having fun looking at. like so severely just that fear of Miss. missing out missing out man like I just. I love the energy and and we pulled. fully loaded from the summer to give me. time off to do the this thing this. summer this summer we do fully loaded.

every summer and it's so [ __ ] fun oh. those videos I would always get envious. of those seeing all the pictures that. the gorgees and stuff like that and you. guys are just having a blast I would. always feel like such a loser that I. wasn't doing it or I wasn't some of this. place you're just like can't afford you. I don't know about that there wasn't. there was a second where I could have. gotten you and Schultz were the two like. two kind of like white whales it was. been it would have been me you Schultz. Shane Gillis Mark Norman Mark Norman. Santino like it just it would been it's. it's it's such fun group Whitney Nikki.

uh it's such a fun big J Dan Soder it's. so fun and um Schultz called me directly. and he was like I got your offer and I. you know respectfully declined but then. his agent was like you can't afford him. and I was like okay I get it but you. want your friends to blow up it would. been cool but it's like you don't ever. want someone to take a pay cut to come. do something yeah or sometimes it's also. just a Time cut it's like since we've. been podcasting more just takes so much. time and then I have to do it here and. Nashville it's just like the back and. forth that's why that's why I said this. when we were in um I apologize interrupt.

and your own touring so it's like you. have your own touring it's like last. year I don't know I maybe had two. weekends where I did something for. myself that that I wanted to do that. wasn't work which is fine because I like. working but um I like working too they. say do you have a hobby and I go like. podcast no like do you have a hobby I go. shoot content like no like a hobby I go. I'm working on a movie yeah and they're. like no what do you do for fun like like. collect rocks I don't know what the [ __ ]. you're talking about like look at toads. take pictures of animals I don't who who. the [ __ ] does that yeah yeah that's the.

thing sometimes people be like you got. to get a hobby and I'm like well some of. my hobbies became work and so there are. still my hobbies they're just more it. just like you're just super involved. with them I guess I guess I could get a. nice hobby like. what like think about like walking with. a friend top 10 Hobbies walking with a. friend is not a hobby it is because. immediately I go why don't we turn into. a podcast here's the beautiful thing. about podcasting okay and so let's scrap. like ignore that podcasting is a.

business but when are me and you going. to get a chance to sit down for an hour. and just hang out with and go yo you. can't answer your phone can't look at. your phone let's just talk for the rest. of our lives probably never till we're. older or or if I if you have something. you want to promote maybe we can do it. over at my house but it's like it's kind. of [ __ ] up I'll never get a chance to. sit down with Kevin nean for an hour I. sat with him for an hour and 30 minutes. I got to ask him all the questions I. ever wanted to ask Danny tro uh Travis. Barker you know jelly it's like I see. jelly jell is a little different cuz I. see him in I end up spending a lot of. time with him yeah he he's somehow so.

access he finds he's so accessible in a. weird way yeah but but podcasting I. don't look at that as work I look at as. an opportunity to hang out with my. friends you know and and and get to know. other people other men um oh for sure. yeah and I think a lot of people maybe. don't get as much time of that and so. that's why they listen to podcast too. it's like oo you know a lot of people. don't like what you said maybe they. don't get as much time of as that so. that's why they listen they're listening. Mor podcast I think some it's why and. it's like I want to hear a conversation.

about this thing yeah and so that's what. I'm Listen to I want to hear about a. conversation that's funny or I don't get. to hang out with Tim Dylan and Rogan. yeah together so you got to hear I never. I never do so it's fun when I listen to. the two of them talks they they have. Smart brains in a different way than me. like I'll never think the way they think. no they're the best dude Tim Dylan is so. original it's unbelievable he is my. favorite gossip in the world he had this. bit about the other day on um on it was. AAL re and it was like about the fires.

and how somebody hired private security. to protect their private firemen to. protect their ice cream shop or whatever. I was like all these places are burning. but the [ __ ] Maui Peach sorbet was. [ __ ] saved or whatever I love you. were doing your fingers the whole time. as you were trying to make it fancy the. Maui Peach. sorbet yeah I think if you do you're. doing this all the time like you're. selling fancy to me well I think I was. trying to think of something fancy and. this helped me yeah I know this this. little movement right here just like hey.

do you guys want to go to dinner it's. really. nice hey if I take my dick out I think. you're going to like it I put sprinkles. on. it that's like who had that joke if you. call something Mexican in front of it it. just makes it so much better dude no oh. wait that's not what I thought oh really. oh you thought worse I was at I was at a. you know the Mexican restaurant at the. end of the Santa Monica beer yeah and. this the lady comes up to me and my. buddy Eddie As She Goes would you guys. like Mexican hot chocolates and we're.

like oh no thank you what you wrap us in. a blanket Hold Us Down and [ __ ] in our. mouths no thanks I think we'll pass. Mexican hot chocolate sounds like a. [ __ ] like when you want a Mexican. [ __ ] you're like hold on what are we. doing here like it's like the the donkey. show did you ever see a donkey show I. never saw it I don't want to get. involved with that have a good. relationship with uh outdoor outdoor. animals I don't want to get like that. yeah this is this clip right here oh I. love that these you can play it from. right there it's fun that little. Palisades Village. I'm glad it's still there I am I'm glad.

that Guy brought in his own. water and [ __ ] was like yeah we're. we're not losing what's the [ __ ]. McConnell's we're not losing that ice. cream. place there's people burning alive in. the street he's like yeah we're not. losing M's what your. nuts it's a good ice cream Santa Barbera. strawberry is a great flavor what are. you nuts. what's that other sushi place is it blue.

ribbon it's good yeah [ __ ] yeah the. [ __ ] it's just hilarious to be a. billionaire and to go we're bringing in. water and we're bringing in our own. firefighters and then the firefighters. show up they're like all right who do we. save and you're like what get get the. [ __ ] in front of Blue Ribbon sushi right. now are you out of your [ __ ] mind you. piece of [ __ ] who do we sa the tiger.

roll that's a [ __ ] get in front of. blue TIG that's good I what I'm. impresses me about Tim is he can do his. show by himself for [ __ ] one hour. yeah once a week have you ever tried. that for one hour every day no have you. ever no once a week he does his show. once a week and uh yeah I did that for. years I think didn't I yeah he was solo. for the first couple years just him. talking and then my brain I ran out of. anything I don't even know now it's just.

like a [ __ ] thoroughfare for other. people's [ __ ] and I I like it used. to be I used to have some of my own. ideas now it's just [ __ ] nothing I. think you still have your own ideas you. know I always say to people I always say. to people um hey wait were you were you. using drugs when we did that uh. fraternity pilot let me think oh. remember that thing dude yeah I tried to. buy it that pilot huh yeah cuz I think. Bon Murray collapsed right yeah I think.

they yeah I don't know what happened. yeah but because the pilot was what it. was three guys were going back to. college it was kind of based on Old. School old school I think it was called. old school three guys were going back to. college was that it no no no no no me. you and Brad Ernest were starting a. fraternity starting a frat people out of. college yeah and man we did not think. that through no we just put it in. [ __ ] Craigslist right yeah remember. that one guy finally kissed that hook or. whatever and his [ __ ] glasses steamed. up remember Ernie. remember that guy a couple of guys hold.

on you're under selling you're under. selling what we did I have we talked. about. this hold on so it was I'm just going to. set the scene because this was the. funniest pilot I've ever been a part of. okay me you and Brett Earnest yeah we. were the hosts and executive producers. so wow if you don't remember that I. don't think I got that good of a deal. but let's keep going I I think it might. have if I'm not mistaken I think I was I. might have been the one that was like. cuz I had like headsets in and I was.

talking to producers and it was all our. ideas so we were like all right we're. going to get these put in Craigslist. we'll get a [ __ ] party bus put in. Craigslist if we got anyone that applies. we'll take them we did no [ __ ]. background checks none do you remember. that yeah I remember remember that one. guy showed up oh well oh yeah he had. PTSD and he' wake up in the middle of. night and Marine crawl around the. [ __ ] house to check the perimeter I. do remember that guy the little guy that. didn't speak English threw up in the. [ __ ] in the garbage can and we. couldn't get him out well that guy was a. ninja remember he was a fulltime ninja. he said and we're like where he was a.

full-time [ __ ] ninja and then there. was the guy you championed and you were. trying to get Aid he made out with the. chick his steam dude d one dude cheated. on his wife and he was like I think I. just ruined my life and we're. like and so hold on hold on this is the. best is we wanted to throw a party for. them but we didn't know how to get. chicks so we just hired prostitutes yes. yeah we hired real prostitutes dude and. that one guy everyone was getting laid. but it was because they we paid for this. everyone's like this is great do you. remember our band do you remember the.

band uh-uh the oh was it a was it that. all female band with tape over their. nipples and their [ __ ] yeah harlo. wasn't that their name you remember. their name I think that was them Google. them harlo they they would they had Jack. Daniels and pillows and they created a. pillow flight feather feathers went. everywhere and they'd spit Jack Daniels. in our mouths that's how the pilot. opened my name's bur Chrysler me and my. two best friends are starting a. fraternity it's going to get wild and. the girl spit vodin my mouth and I was. like I'm married with two kids dude that.

was that is that no that's not I don't. know if that was. them harlo was a girl band I thought oh. that's them that's. them yeah dude they were C oh they were. [ __ ] killer they were hot too dude I. remember the I remember the executive. producer came out to the pool all the. prostitutes are naked they're all in the. pool I'm in the pool with a in. pajamas and everyone and the producer. one of the exact producer goes I can't. use any of this I remember the sound guy.

was like hey you want to hear something. I was like what's that and he grabs a. headsets and he takes them off he goes. put them on I go what is that and he. goes someone's getting their dick sucked. in the bathroom. yeah yeah dude I hope it was me dude I'm. trying to remember what happened were. you using drugs at the time I don't know. I hope I was it sound like it was a. [ __ ] blast dude I mean that I don't. know if I needed drugs at the time that. sounds amazing the guy broke the. champagne bottle over the goat's head. yeah dude yeah I mean we [ __ ] beat up. those lesbians yeah it was the [ __ ].

wildest show ever one of them [ __ ]. asked for it dude one the big one asked. for it yes the little one sure a victim. I'll say that that was the greatest. pilot I've ever been a part of forgot. about that that's when that's when I. mean like remember we showed up at. somebody at a at a place we stole that. [ __ ] goat put him on that bus and he. started [ __ ] in the back of the bus. and the only person that would go back. there and care for him it was some like. um he was like a third generation. veterinarian or something that one. really white kid.

yeah and people kept giving it beer and. stuff and we stole the wrong goat we did. yeah we had we had an address that we. were going to pull over and we had. already arranged to take their goat and. give it back to them like production. wise so we pulled over to piss and the. [ __ ] Irish kid do you remember the. Irish kid is his name Killian oh yeah oh. um I think he was a comic uh Killian no. Killian is just the name of a beer I. thought that was his name uh uh Sheamus. Sheamus.

Sheamus it wasn't him it was a fell. named Sheamus I think he probably passed. I don't know if he passed couple of them. a lot of those guys are dead Sheamus of. Farrell is that him a lot of guys that. were in that pilot died yeah cuz I was. in a Facebook group with them and like. the big guy or like the big guy he. passed he had two kids oh did he yeah he. was a [ __ ] he had two lunches too I. remember that he [ __ ] he did not make. it that long I was like dude you can't. have two. lunches cuz you would have lunch and. then wait a little while and pretend. like heead and had lunch I remember he's.

like wait are they serving yeah we're. like yeah what are they serving like you. just ate it yeah yeah dude it was just. that reverse he would use reverse. psychology with his own stomach or. whatever man that was the funnest like I. always say I forgot about that that was. like it's like you know when you you. know when you discover someone like when. like um uh I'm thinking of the best. examples like cam Patterson right like. my um my wife's friends uh their kids. are in high school they came to one of.

my shows and they're like have you seen. cam Patterson at the time I hadn't and. then I was like No And then I watched. some of his clips and I discovered him. and I was like oh he's funny yeah that. moment we all have it for comics and. I've heard I've heard for a very long. time watch people discover you when you. they go dude do you know Theo Von but I. had to discover you too like right I got. to find that you were funny too right. and I always say it was that [ __ ]. pilot where I just kept watching you. just like like everything you were. saying was like so [ __ ] funny that.

and oh no that and [ __ ] reality B. back I've always said that like that. finale Theo you were the single funniest. human being I'd ever been around in my. life really oh my God you were dropping. dimes when we were all sitting in the. bleachers I was crying laughing I have. never laughed harder in my [ __ ] life. where I was like this guy everything you. said was [ __ ] hysterical and you're. in a room full of killers killers in. there Killers it was so much fun look at.

Schumer looking viby right there do you. remember when Donell we were we were in. the car and Donell said to Mo Mandel. because mo mo is like I love Mo I love. Mo I'm not [ __ ] on Mo but Mo was. younger than everyone so he was like. trying like oh yeah he was trying the. whole time it's that energy you do when. you're young too you get put in a place. you try to yeah you try and he goes uh. Donnell's at the front of the van he. goes. Mo has anyone ever told you you're funny. and mo goes of course and he goes name. one person and Mos my.

mom and we fell out of the [ __ ] van. Don goes your mom doesn't count Mo your. mom doesn't [ __ ] count oh god dude oh. there's my boy right there he just had. his second child I think he's selling TV. shows he's doing great Mo's a creative. dude man he's a very creative dude look. at Schumer holy. [ __ ] I and I have a go te because if I. don't it looks like my real chin has. balls look at how L my voice is laughing. it looks like I'm teabagging my shirt my.

name is Theo Bon and $50,000 would mean. that I could get out of debt listen to. our voices put a down payment on a. better apartment or an apartment in. general who looks the most like a. 80-year-old black man in their. [Laughter]. picture wow I so hard of my career build. a p. house Patrol agents better watch. out uh we've been throwing some. PA it up that's when we threw those.

Mexican Cabbage Patch Kids they died the. Mexican cuz they weren't they the. Mexican ones have been discontinued or. whatever yeah or cab how do you say. cabbage in Spanish cabage cabage cabage. ninos so we had these [ __ ] cabage. noos right and we're just like you have. to throw 50 of them over this fence like. it was going to be hard for [ __ ]. adult men to do that bro we were huming. those [ __ ] over there and remember. China showed up she was the wrestling. woman oh yeah she was all geeked up on. pills or something and she she was.

supposed to as they went over the fence. somebody supposed to shoot them down. with like a uh some sort of a paintball. gun or something I was like what are we. doing do you like winning Real Money mm. if you're a basketball baseball or. sports fan then check out the pick six. app from. DraftKings when it comes to basketball. payouts DraftKings pick six dunks on all. the other apps I've used them all and.

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your investment moonay is here to. facilitate not. advise dude the my favorite. one I wish they had video of this I wish. I could find this video is we did so you. think you could dive yeah oh yeah and. you said everyone practiced diving all. week and you're like I'm good I already. know what I'm doing and you got up to. the if I'm not mistaken it was like the. 10 meter or like the 5 meter it was high. as [ __ ] I went up there in a wheelchair. I would like to present my Ode to Amelia.

Airhart and you sang to Amelia aart and. you got and you just had them push you. off in a wheelchair and you had not. planned that once the front wheels went. off that you were going face first and. you [ __ ] landed on your stomach so. hard came. up that was the [ __ ] please tell me. you have it you have it oh shut the [ __ ]. up really oh my God. wow look how young we were ber look at. you God look at this this is when all I.

did was hit on I hit on Greg Greg lanus. the whole time and then he got pissed. cuz he found out I was married really. yeah you remember that's why he voted me. off he was like you don't tease a man I. do remember driving away drive this was. in Long Beach arm remember driving home. that day I'm like I can't believe I. drove you home I'm going smash that dude. no I drove you home you remember that's. right dude I picked up everyone in the. car and Schumer goes I hope none of us. get voted off it's going to be awkward. ride home and I got voted off and I.

drove home and I was like it was quiet I. was like so what are you guys doing. tomorrow do you. think and we're all going back to work. God I was. not. [Music]. this oh. my we will come and find you soon. what the [ __ ] what octave is.

that if I'm not mistaken it was that kid. Cameron pushing you off that's actually. Cameron watch. oh was. gravity tell us a little bit about the. Genesis of the idea look how jacked you. are dude God I was handsome well Frank. there's a lot of ladies out there that. are missing and I just wanted to kind of. put a tribute out to them okay we got to. find them [ __ ]. you had the ladies and you just lost. hang on do you have do you have that.

whole episode yeah I have the whole. series okay do me a favor wow go to me. getting kicked off do you remember this. with Greg lanis do you remember he did a. nude dance for him do you have that and. Greg lanis is a famous uh homosexual. swimmer he's if I'm not mistaken he's. HIV positive is he um I think he was. like the poster boy for HIV positiveness. oh wow he Hib positivity I saw that b. suit I swear to God I just got rid of. that band suit yesterday I go to the end. when I get ped.

off what are you talking about my wife. never made a I just hit on him okay your. butt is so white say that it's time for. you to pack your. trunks thanks so much now hit pause for. a second this was the biggest regret of. my life yeah like sometimes you ever do. a podcast you're like hey can you guys. take that out I shouldn't have said oh. yeah I know what you're talking about. Bobby and um so like now I did this and. it knowing no one laughed yeah no one. laughed everyone saw it and it was.

wildly rolling the dice on it and I was. like I'm not certain and I went home and. I got in bed with my wife that night and. I didn't know how it was going to be. edited and I go I might have just ruined. my career I might have destroyed my. career I might have made it cuz I was. telling everyone I was on this [ __ ]. show my daughter's preschool I was like. they're going to watch this that's. insane to do that I was everyone was. famous and I was trying to like keep up. with the J yeah I'm on a new show I'm. like yeah I'm on a TV show whatever hit. play have you seen this oh my God all. right biggest.

regret wow. bird were you fully naked yeah had a. great time Michael I'll never forget. this fully naked just CL a rope actually. big and does Michael prefer men or he. prefers women he's. married Michael I think was being like. honest like this is a bad idea another. set of bad decisions in my life Michael. this one might be the worst of all they. don't stop. coming oh my look at it look at it it's.

not going away if I look at it I will. turn to Stone no you will maybe part of. you will but not all of. you all oh my God that was. incredible dude I thought I thought I. ruined I thought I ruined ruined my. career ruined it and what kind of pecker. you got on you there you can't really. they got it blurred out or whatever just. so so we can uh not big at all okay I. I'll show you to you right now and you. it's probably the exact same size do you.

remember we took a bath with lunell dude. yeah oh yeah meu Red Grant meu Red Grant. took a bath he ran from mayor of. Baltimore you know that oh yeah won't. tell this story yeah did you remember. lunell had two bathing suits on did she. really and she took one off she goes. boys wear are your bathing suits and. then we took ours off and then she got. out of the bath and we were all naked. and she took our bathing suits God I. don't remember that I remember I think. Kyle's mom gave me or somebody gave.

somebody I don't remember what happened. somebody CA one of us came or something. uh Kyle's. mom I remember that Kyle's mom was a. hired uh stripper yeah just we're clear. Kyle's real mom's dead Kyle's real mom. passed away yeah that's why they got. brought in the stripper oh damn. well yeah I remember meeting your mom. and I was like oh his mom looks like she. could make dream catchers in Northern in. New Mexico yeah my mom looks like she.

[ __ ] tells on black people that walk. out of the store with all the [ __ ] from. Right. Aid dude that show was so wild and it. was like bro they paid us it was pretty. it was fun you got to be around other. comedians Tiffany hadish was on there. Donell Rawlings yeah remember jav um. George the one comedian left he left the. first day remember George Jeff Garcia. Jeff Garcia left je Garcia don't to play. that I do not need to see that no hang. on I actually that makes I have.

nightmares about that you know where you. you know you've done something and. you're like why did I do that yeah that. [ __ ] moment H that [ __ ] makes my. skin crawl and this is when you made a a. promise to your mom in the dark or. whenever they I said they said you're. going to bring you in you're going to. seduce somebody and and the the more you. turn them on the better you win and they. brought it in and it was our mom's and I. in the dark in the dark and I told her. what I do to her giving her oral sex o. [ __ ] I think about that cuz I was.

honest I was [ __ ] honest Theo that's. your legal too to do that to your mother. I think so Theo did the Native American. warbler I. did let's make this plan Happ whoa. mom whoa I was scared let me. say to seduction the first thing you. have to know is the Native American War. serious panty.

[Music]. dropper let's make this plan H. whoa you were so good at this you were. so good at this was this a what was it a. game you know you were so good at the. whole [ __ ] game like it got in my. head and I would get panicked and I CU I. needed the money and you were just. [ __ ] chill and I was probably on. steroids dude you might have been you. look pretty jacked in this I might have. been on performance enhancing drugs have.

you ever taking steroids yeah dude you. know yeah they just had a new did you. see that a new steroid Olympics was. coming up but that show was before its. time they should put the show back on. the air if they didn't I don't. understand they NE after that they. [ __ ] up man yeah I I could not agree. more they [ __ ] up a lot and by the way. what here's where they [ __ ] up this is. where they [ __ ] up they should we. should buy that me you Don just people. with little money we should buy that and. get all the raw and edit it the way we. want to edit it because that is we could.

do one season we could do Five Seasons. out of just outtakes I mean the [ __ ] we. weren't allowed to say do you remember. Mi and red were in a pool with Amy. Schumer and she goes what are we going. to do now and I was like why don't we. play Ley submarine she goes what's that. and I go well you're the Leaky submarine. and we got to plug up all your holes and. everyone's like can't use that and I was. like why it's [ __ ] funny like dude. the outakes we did just there I'm. telling you that finale you had it was. me Chris Fairbanks I think Schumer Red.

Grant and Donell were in a cluster and. we were crying laughing at you for one. hour straight you were just they would. say something and you just honest Theo. like the person you are today was there. that day and you were stream of. Consciousness and we were as as my well. I'm I've never laughed harder damn that. was so much fun look at me and Amy right. there God and she had a boyfriend I. think she was in love with some guy. yeah I always thought you guys had sex. you know I always thought we.

did but dude speaking of what else were. we talking about a second ago I don't. know the steroid games oh yeah did you. see that Donald Trump Jr or some group. is starting steroid what the enhanced. games Donald. Jr um president Donald Trump's eldest. son Donald Trump Jr is the latest to. invest in the enhanced games which.

critics call the steroid Olympics I I'd. invest I mean listen they steroids are. extremely popular in in bodybuilding and. bodybuilding's pretty you ever seen. natural bodybuilding um uh the answer is. no that's a good point yeah you're like. okay it's pretty [ __ ] boring you look. at real bodybuilding and you're like. yeah get that's what I want to [ __ ]. look at get on that [ __ ] gas dude oh. I remember doing that [ __ ] [ __ ] boy. what did you take oh I took. uh Deca I took Deca yeah Deca winra what.

I think uh I don't know if I ever got. some winra I got whatever we I could get. a hold of test 200 really yeah test 200. test. 400 test there was some uh I think we. somebody we would go on spring break. we'd go get it but somebody people. always sneak it back in like shampoo. bottles they would buy a bunch St about. pour shampoo bottles so it had like this. [ __ ] kind of like. like soapy soapy after like you'd be.

doing curls but then you'd like belch a. soap bubble or whatever like it was it. was really like every time you like like. if you lift it up your arms it. would it would SM when you'd sweat it. would just be soapy it would smell like. lavender or whatever like it was a real. hybrid at the time a hybrid type of. chemical we were using and that was one. thing that was tough about it but it was. fun using storage because. and I shouldn't say that I mean it was. definitely also had side effects I Wen.

no don't don't bu everyone makes their. own [ __ ] choices in life look I'm I'm. on testosterone out the [ __ ] gills. right now are you are you [ __ ] me. dude I [ __ ] love it I jerk off every. morning I jerk off every if I don't have. sex with my wife my dick's hard and I'm. I'm turned on every [ __ ] morning when. I wake up but thinking about my wife but. I'm if she's not there like today I. jerked off she was at at the gym working. out and I was like or at her trainer or. whatever and I was like I'm GNA jerk off. yeah I dude it's awesome I feel alive.

I'm stronger than I've ever been in my. entire life I'm healthier than I've ever. been I do my liver numbers that all. every damage I've ever done to my liver. is all repaired because testosterone is. repairative to liver cells yes it's. [ __ ] awesome well are you I mean are. you still fat or whatever then yeah yeah. obese. morbid okay I'm morbidly obese okay I. just want to make sure you're still you. know sticking with this I only work out. I only work out so I can party yeah it. the only reason I work out is so tonight. if I want to my wife says yo let's open.

a bottle Ros I go [ __ ] yeah cuz I know I. was in the gym this morning hard as [ __ ]. I'm going to be in the gym tomorrow hard. as [ __ ] you look great I feel feel I. feel phenomenal I mean I really feel. phenomenal and I will tell you that I. felt good when I wasn't on testosterone. but I I'm just testosterone is just. giving me like a zest for life I think I. mean the downfalls is like my face is. redder sometimes so like I have to get. hair and makeup like my face can get. pretty red but I think from the. testosterone I think so that's what. someone told me well don't don't you.

don't you lose hair though that' be my. concern no I mean I don't know I was. going to get hair transplants lean. doesn't want me to really I've gotten it. before what yeah a couple years ago I. got I had so much stress in the back. that my hair start got like thin your. hair looks [ __ ] awesome yeah it's. good now it's clean did you go to Turkey. no no I went to I don't remember where I. did it I did it right off over there of. lasena 50 lasena really yeah a good. doctor though yeah pretty decent they. take it out of the back and they just.

put it in the front it's like just. reforestation or whatever you know. whenever they like take the plants. that's not me Jesus Christ your hair. you've always had the thickest goddamn. hair look at this picture that does kind. of look like you a little bit oh oh no. that's me but that's not my head is the. crazy part wait that is you yeah but. it's not my head I never looked like. this I thought it was they shaved it or. something it's my bad what that's so. funny dude that's crazy dude with AI now.

it's like anything is possible what the. [ __ ] dude that looks wild I well this is. not a before and after that's the thing. that's oh hey internet make that a. before and after just Theo F's hair. transplants cuz because by the way if. it's not real it doesn't bother you and. it's [ __ ] hysterical like they if you. type in Bert kryer fat all the pictures. have been doctored and they don't bother. me cuz they're not real real ones bother. me oh yeah the real.

ones well this is that is that is that. really you this is really me this is. after I got my hair transplant the they. put all this they inject all this stuff. in your head but it starts to come down. your face it's like pain reducers or. whatever so at some point you look like. oh God you look like the guy from. Ghostbusters througho too holy [ __ ] dude. I look like I [ __ ] did a lot of. cocaine that was F could you do could. you do uh uh pills like paint. pills oh I don't know if you could take. IU profile I think there was something.

you could take you could you take like. uh paint pills yeah yeah they give you. two paint pills right when you go in. there and then they lay you down and you. can watch different television shows my. place it was a lot of Indian. Entertainment that they had in there so. it was like the shows were um. Bollywood I want to do that dude there's. one type in Bollywood uh. motorcycle motorcycle dance there's I. was so for a promo I wanted to recreate. this and I was going to fly to Bollywood.

all right and do my promo in Bollywood. dude money goes pretty far in Bollywood. so I could pay like 10 grand to get a. full [ __ ] production Bollywood. motorcycle dance that's it I bet that's. it Bollywood music video guy comes off a. motorcycle these are awesome dude and I. was like I'll learn the dance I'll get. all the people you got to find the never. mind [ __ ] find it internet look at. this this probably cost $40 just look at. these dances they're so beautiful it's a.

whole movie yeah I don't know why we. don't have more of that I guess they. tried it in Joker and it didn't work. well they they have a lot more joy of. like I love this I bet I could do this. dance pretty easy well they all this is. a lot of people these people end up. working at Disney World I think they. have a b Bali Disney Bollywood Disney. yeah do they have a Disneyland in India. they have to huh no I met I went out to. dinner with a couple and they were like. and they go uh did you um Le I just went.

to Paris and they're like oh did you go. to Disney Paris and I was like No And. they're like why not and I was like I'm. [ __ ] grownup and they're like oh it's. we went it's so awesome and I went I. don't know if I could be friends with. you it said he go to the real Paris you. mean no no no no no no Theo they went to. Paris and then went to Disney in Paris. oh as opposed to just being in Paris. they went to Disney in Paris like why go. all the way there why just say in. [ __ ] Disney go to Orlando get save.

some [ __ ] money stay here stay here. and go to [ __ ] Disney for the day. they went to [ __ ] Paris and then went. to Disney World and saw Mickey Mouse who. by the way just is Mickey Mouse is the. same [ __ ] Mickey Mouse like it was. amazing can you imagine no I can't. imagine but then sometimes actually I. went to China One time or somewhere and. I had to get McDonald's because I that's. that's fine that's totally fine that's. like hey man this is my culture I want. to see how you represent my culture yeah. but going to see Mickey you go to.

[ __ ] Australia and go to Outback. Steakhouse good come on what the [ __ ]. are we talking about God damn it yeah I. don't I listen when I travel I like to. do I like to I like to I don't want to. get up a crack it on and do a ton of. [ __ ] I want to sleep in I want to wake. up I want to go to the cafe have a. coffee walk around have some lunch maybe. some snails couple beers keep walking. around and then at a certain hour I go. let's start bar hopping around the city. that's the fun way to do it and then. nice big dinner close it out at like. 2:00 in the morning know you can sleep. in the next day wake up go for a jog.

that's what I'm talking about you will. not find me at [ __ ] Paris Disney damn. you heard it right there Disney you. heard it don't even come after him do. you uh oh I want to talk about that. steroid Olympics a little bit go back to. it CU I'm just curious about this this. is going to be [ __ ] awesome dude well. I'm I'm just intrigued I think we're. going to start seeing more I've long. wanted to do a game show of like. stereotypes vers each other right like. there's like Family Feud it's like the. Ronson vers vers the Hamiltons right but. I want to see like the gays vers the.

Yiddish or whatever you know like I want. to see like um dark blacks verse Bakers. wait can I can I soft pit you more ideas. within the same context what if right. you don't know what the other team. you're playing against is and in playing. the game you got to guess what they are. so like their all their answers are one. way so you're like where's the best. place to vacation and you hear a bunch. of people go uh you're the uh Team. you're playing against said uh Jamaica.

yeah and then the other one like or. Birmingham yeah yeah yeah yeah and so. then and then the whole goal is to play. the game and try to answer your. questions as honest as possible but try. to guess who the other people are okay. never mind bad pitch because you could. just lie and and misdirect people keep. going but maybe that's part of there. could be a strategy in there that that's. how you do it but I would love to see. The Stereotype games I think that that's. where we're definitely headed like. [ __ ] kids like a ADHD kids verse uh.

or whatever you know that's not no that. would probably we got to take that one. out but ADH kids vers is autistic kids. yes that would be great dude and. autistic kids don't need to talk they do. mental telepathy yeah they don't talk. anymore they just just all documentary. on that Google it and and you put the. two of them against each other it' be. [ __ ] great great but I think there's. a lot of like kids suffering from small. poox verse fat kids or whatever what. about this game show okay it's um it's. it's you [ __ ] what you get okay that's.

the name of the pitch so a guy goes up. okay like we bring up theovon and you. have a room full of hundred women uhuh. and you got guys ladies uh on your by. your chair you'll see a little panel um. on a scale of 1 to 10 rate Theo Von you. present yourself my name is Theo I grew. up in Louisiana I'm a standup comedian I. have a podcast I'm you know on tour I'm. just to the movie born in March yeah. give him your sign my birthday comes out. the day after your special i' like to. for real March 19th for real you said. March 18th it is yeah yeah March 18th.

March 19th um and then and then you. ladies rate rate rate him on what you. think and so they go Theo Von is an. eight and you go cool now Theo has. already pre- every single one of you so. look back at your panel and see what. number you are and they look and they're. like [ __ ] I'm a six he goes everyone. below an eight get the [ __ ] out so it. just thins out the herd and you're like. all right you are what Theo is willing. to [ __ ] now Theo. this is the group of eights that think. they're your equal you can either [ __ ].

one of the eights or you can go for a 10. and if you if you pick the 10 you've got. to go to Paris Disney that's your. vacation you got to go to Paris Disney. but if you pick the eight we're going to. send you a bali and you're going to be. on the beach all week you can [ __ ] 10. the [ __ ] hottest out of your league. you can't get her by number standards. you can't get her and then you take the. two of them the date and you pick who. they are what do you think what do you. think I just like the idea of raiding. people I'd go ball I'd go with an eight. Tali I go with an eight Tali too I did. with a six Tali did you really I would I.

well my wife but I she's like more like. a six and a half is she I think so I. think she's getting prettier the older. she gets you know what I thought that. the other day I didn't think like that I. just thought oh lean looks so pretty. that's you know what can I do a secret. time yeah the f one of my favorite. things in the world I don't know if you. did it on purpose or I don't know how it. came out but i' I've said I've said it a. number of times she did her live podcast. at of zany and you came by to say hi and. support her oh yeah and she called me. balling crying she goes you know she.

goes that I'm was so nervous and I was. so you know I feel like I'm in a. different space and I'm doing my podcast. and it you know and and she goes baby I. was I Jud I had to leave in the middle. and go to do a show and Cincinnati or. something she called crying she goes. Theo came and I went what she goes Theo. came she goes that's why I love the. people you've surrounded yourself cuz. they're real people she goes Theo Von. came out to show me love and give me. support and I was I got emotional. telling it cuz I was like I was like. that's what you want you want to. surround yourself with people that care.

about you and it's just not about a. business yeah and I but thank you for. doing that that was the sweetest thing. you could have ever done yeah I forgot. that I did that but I did do that yeah. of course you did that's who you. are sometimes you forget things you do. that's it you found it God you're good. can I hire your team sure it only took. him 11. minutes look at this look at thiso promo. video for my new tour coming right do. this in Bollywood watch this guy watch. this guy he's good.

Theo oh my. God look at this Turkish hairlines huh. look at this look at this. Theo how great is. this so. good God I would have been the best. Indian you would have your hair that. wind blow in your hair and I think just. my attitude I would have had a good time. over there you think so yeah Theo you.

would have never left your cast system. are you going to AI Theo's facing it I. was going to do you but do me do me do. me do me do me yeah please do hey wait. think about this looks like isn't AI you. would have never left your no it's just. Indians I would have found a way out no. you can't that's India I would have. found a way no that's our movie dude. cast Travelers or something or cast time. casters time. casters you know I like to save money I.

do I like to make money and I like to. keep it and put it somewhere safe I. don't like taking a ton of risks I don't. like a I don't like a lot of. uncertainty and that's why I do like. acorns I've really come to admire this. company today's episode is sponsored by. acorns acorns is a financial Wellness. app that makes it easy to start saving. and investing for your future you don't. need to be an expert acorns will.

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nets.com. Theo that's right netsuite.com. Theo are you g to do more movies did you. like it we're making our movie right now. you just made it well still have five. days left oh for real yeah I didn't know. that I don't know we'll. see I am happy that we did it do can I. ask you a honest question yeah 100% man. this is why I don't do um I shouldn't. say this out loud but this is why I only. do my projects so I I noticed that I. have.

um for lack of better word uh bad. interior thoughts when I'm not in. control yeah and I and I don't I'm not. good at it so like I I did something for. someone one time and the whole time I in. my head I was like I'm wasting my. [ __ ] life I'm wasting my life I'm in. [ __ ] makeup and no one's treating me. with respect and I and I'm [ __ ] and I. was like I'm sitting in the goddamn. trailer waiting for some 18-year-old to. come and tell me it's time and I can't. walk around and I was like I'm wasting. my [ __ ] life and a friend of mine. said just giving your heads up notice. this in yourself and do and get don't.

allow yourself in that situation she'll. get a bad rap it's what they're saying. happened with that chick and that dude. is that they didn't they Lively or. whatever yeah yeah yeah whatever but I. I'm Team Blake Lively I like her I think. yeah I don't I don't even know what. happened it just seemed like rich people. being [ __ ] rich or whatever but like. but did you in doing it did you cuz I. know how internal you are and I know how. like kind of pensive you are did you. were there parts of it you're like okay. if I do this again I'm not doing that or. oh for sure I think there's some of that. I'm still learning yeah like there's.

just like certain. like ways to like do the script. differently um to like certain have less. scripts we' have more time to shoot. certain scenes like that's one thing. it's like we just kind of run out of. time you know so it's like we can't you. know um so you know you can only get so. much coverages or whatever uh what else. I don't know if I would ever do the. acting again I would like to do the um.

producing or writing but I do yeah I. only like to I'm the I just only want to. do things that I that I am in control of. right because for me it's just I don't. want somebody else to have control of. how I look or seem I don't want somebody. else to have a say I don't want anybody. have any ownership. over um my voice that's it for me it's. like when I was a kid I felt like I. didn't have I couldn't speak up for. myself or something like that I don't. know what it is but internally somewhere. in there that's what it is for me so.

it's like I don't want to have to say. anybody else's lines I just want to do. what I want to do and if I live or die. on that then that's fine but at least. it's just me you know do you ever run. into the situation where you get hired. for something they want they want you to. come in and do something and then. they're like try to like script it for. you a little bit like my example is like. they'll be like uh you you're going to. take take your shirt off right I was. like I don't know maybe I mean I don't. know it's [ __ ] 10° out here and. they're like okay but it's coming off. though right like maybe you just come.

out rip your shirt off and be like kill. a beer and I'm like why I also talk yeah. but it's like it's sometimes you get if. especially if you get a little big you. get kind of typ cast as in as a producer. they go like so you'll just like they. did it today where like he'll just. comeing in like a hurricane like with. his hands going up like this and he be. like ah and but there's no did they you. find that happening to you ever no I. don't do anything I only do our own. stuff like I don't ever do anything. that I don't I don't ever do anything. else except for like our own things so.

me and Spade wrote that movie I knew. that he's a great actor one of the. funniest guys I know so he would be able. to carry it I'm like the second guy who. like is kind of we're just it's like a. dumb buddy. movie and so I never put myself in a. position where somebody have to be like. you have to do something like this you. know but because goes back to your. reason I learned I don't do well in that. situation like you know I tried to do a. um Chris Pratt had asked me to be in a. movie years ago and I had to leave once. I got there because once I they didn't.

give you the script till you got there. and so once I got the script and stuff I. realized oh this isn't this just doesn't. fit for me it doesn't work with who I. want to be they had me how hard is that. to do to leave yeah oh it definitely was. hard it was a hard like you know text to. send I sent it all in cap so they would. know I was serious about it or whatever. but yeah it was [ __ ] wait what had go. did the movie come out huh what movie. was it yeah tomorrow War remember that. movie tomorrow war no and when I watched. it back I ended up realizing I made the. best choice for myself it took 12 weeks.

wait with Tom Cruz dude that's damn. Chris Pratt brother that's Chris Pratt. yeah it's a new yeah huh um the tomorrow. War what was that about it's about on. Amazon. people went in the past uh I can't even. remember it was kind of confusing but it. was great it was fun I'm glad that I got. to do it uh sorry I'm GL I didn't get to. do it Jesus but um but I saw Chris who. who ended up playing you just some they.

just moved the lines over to some other. guy oh they didn't like I tried to get. Josh Wolf in and I remember as a. substitute but uh they just moved the. lines over to a different character but. when I watched it back the guy had two. lines and it would I would have had be. there for 12 weeks it just wasn't a good. fit right the first movie I ever had a. friend did Tom did a movie with Mark. wall dog no uh Mark Wahlberg yeah and he. was there for like five weeks and I was. like I was like oh cool you're so you're. in a lot of scenes he's like I'm in like. two scenes I was like you're there for. five [ __ ] weeks he's like yeah that's.

part of making a movie I was like well. gu I'm not making a movie and then I was. like I'm not going to [ __ ] sit in a. hotel for five weeks you got to be. kidding me I like yeah that was a thing. it was a long it was a long time it was. in Atlanta and also I didn't know. anybody on the set except for maryn. riceup was there and I'd met only Chris. Pride just through Instagram messages so. I never met him yeah um that's an easy. text to send then yeah it was chilling I. actually did call the director too and I. called him and uh and just shared how I.

felt and they were they were cool about. it you know but then there was like a. thing like in Hollywood like this guy. might back out he mve or something I was. like I don't [ __ ] care dude like long. as I was cool with Chris and everything. was fine it was fine with me you know um. but that's when I realized oh I can't do. something if it's not my own thing and I. I'm not going to be able to say oh we're. we're keeping that or we're not keeping. that or I don't want to be seen like. that or this sort of thing then I just. can't do that for me it's just how I. work you know when I got back from. Serbia someone had written a part in a. TV show for me and they text me like yo.

I wrote a part for you and I was like oh. I'm yeah I'm not going to do it he's. like we haven't even read it I was like. I know that but it's not my show yeah he. was like but hold on hang on I wrote it. for you and I went okay I don't know. what to tell you I can tell I can just. tell you that if I go on to your show. I'm gonna have feelings and I'm probably. not going to be great and I'm G to be in. a [ __ ] different city for my family. and I just got back from Serbia and I. kind of want to go on tour and I kind of. want to do my podcast and I kind of want. to like I don't want to go on another. set and then play a you know fat guy. that [ __ ] what eat snorts Coke or.

whatever you know and so he was like and. I was like and I'm friends with you and. right now it seems we're friends so. let's just keep the friendship and then. I we don't have to work together yeah. it's funny cuz it's like as if I was. younger I would have been totally. opposite I would have been like yeah. yeah you're my friend write aart for me. and now I'm just like no please don't. write apart for me yeah I think it's I'm. trying to think a little bit more about. it I mean this was like I just remember. thinking cuz we wrote it and then we we. nobody wanted to direct it nobody wanted. to help us with it no agent no producers.

would are you kidding can wait for. anyone listening that's how tough. Hollywood is right now right now they. are not making movies no one's making. movies they just didn't also like they. don't want I don't know if they don't. want certain people to have voices it. seemed easier for other people to make. movies right I'll say that but also wait. wait good I know what you're saying yeah. yeah it seemed easier for other people. to make. movies but you mean you mean you two. cisgendered white privileg males had a. hard time selling a movie in.

Hollywood but that's the funniest. [ __ ] thing that there's cuz there is. semi truth to that but but also we have. had opportunities our entire life but. also it's like you talk to any [ __ ]. writer any writer in Hollywood who's. like 50 a dude who's white they cannot. get a job like they cannot work and. they're and and they lose and these are. all liberals like you got to realize a. Hollywood liberal writer man he's. [ __ ] storming the capital about those.

goddamn scripts that's crazy it's crazy. I talk to any of them they're all like. [ __ ] dude whatever's happening in. Hollywood I was like you've had a good. run yeah I think well I just think it. was like well we have to do it was like. I don't like thinking. that if you say I can't do it there's a. part of me that wants to just show you. that I can do it right like I don't I'm. not a great actor right I know that and. that's fine with me I don't say that. well I wouldn't say that it's not real I. have some moments that are good in this. thing but the [ __ ] therapy movie are.

awesome not sweet of you it was easier. for me to play like a disgruntled person. kind of than I think a um like a dumb. buddy kind of thing in for some reason I. felt like that but then also I'm like. going back and looking at the things and. I'm like thinking of what else needs to. be in the scene like my mind's kind of. like all over the place but I do think. that it's funny the script is super. funny um I'm curious to see how it was. shot how that plays out and stuff so and. I'm just glad that I think when I look. back on my life you know I'll be glad.

that I got to do a movie with David. Spade and oh yeah and it's like yeah we. funed our we funded ourselves we did. like we did it all it's like it crazy. that's wild to me because you guys are I. mean David is a a legend legend David. David Spade is like I always think he's. a legend when you look at like SNL right. did you watch 50 years. I was there you were there no I was. there for the 50th uh I was there Friday.

and Saturday night okay um but when you. watch it it's pretty epic and know I. will say SNL's 50th is a lot better if. you're 50 cuz you watched a lot of it. yeah if you're if you're 20 years old. you're like I don't get why these racist. where's Timothy shalam yeah where's. Timothy shalam how come Pete Davids not. in more sketches where's uh where's. [ __ ] you know chapone chapel rone and. uh but but when you watch it and and. you're older you're like oh I remember. Eddie Murphy Eddie Murphy and will frell. and Kenan Thompson were [ __ ] gold.

Eddie Murphy. doing. uh What uh uh Tracy Morgan did you see. that I saw the skit with Eddie Murphy. and Tracy Black Jeopardy you mean yeah. where Eddie Murphy was playing Tracy. Morgan next to Tracy Morgan was so fun. maybe I didn't pick up that that's what. it was. oh did you see it yeah yeah I saw this. right here yeah see the name Tracy. underneath it oh I oh now I get it wait.

what did you think he was doing I didn't. know what he was doing I just thought he. was doing Tracy Chapman or whatever no. it wasn't Tracy Chapman it was this was. my favorite sketch ever we can't play it. because it'll they will claim it sorry. but it dude it is it it was great what. was I saying but David Spade is like. when you look at so when you look at. comedy history right yeah when they when. they talk about comedy history now it's. kind of it's kind of interesting I think. because you look back at the last 50. years yeah and there's only like a.

handful of names but but but legends. that'll like Belzer he'll be remembered. Richard B yeah and uh uh Larry David. Jerry Seinfeld these Eddie Murphy Bill. Richard Pryor Sam Kennison Carl leov. will be remembered like they're he was. one of the Outlaws of comedy and then. when you look at our generation we're so. thick with Comics like so thick there's. so many [ __ ] Comics right now that. lot of us are going to get forgotten and. lost in conversation David Spade will. not be lost in conversation out of all.

the SNL people he he has had one of the. most. probably [ __ ] PR Crystal Clear. pristine hysterical his movies will. [ __ ] forever be talked about Tommy. Boy Black Sheep uh Meo dirt uh the. [ __ ] all he's a legend and to make a. movie with him is like that's the cool. thing you ever like you're ever going to. get to do yeah that's what I felt like I. was like I just I have to do it and we.

made it ourselves it's like we made it. it's like we don't have anybody telling. us what to do and that's what I realized. I was like oh if I if we say it went in. the script and it went win in the script. and it went on the screen if I had to go. through a beat on a set to go ask. somebody for permission to do it that. way then I wouldn't be able to do it. right I just I wouldn't I I I like. you're saying I just know it would not. react well with me viscerally and if. someone's like Theo I don't get it you'd. be like hold on yeah hang on I I hit. dingers like like I what I do is just. tell jokes and I'm just funny so trust. me that if I think it's funny let me.

just try and then a lot of people were. like uh I don't know yeah I couldn't. have especially like when you see a lot. of the funny like but also I got to see. how this thing is how it looks when it's. done like I have no [ __ ] clue the. script is super funny we put all our own. jokes in it we wrote it for two years. like we definitely so but I have no clue. how it goes from doing the scenes which. are all done out of order to then it. being an actual you know how it like. that I cannot my brain can't metric or.

like figure all that out like um but we. had some funny yeah like Nate Diaz has a. rle saw I saw Nate posted about it today. uh Tim Dylan has a plays uh the manager. Bobby Lee Bobby Lee came in and did a. yep we got uh williiam Mulla William. Montgomery montg Casey rocket some of. the killtony guys and there's some other. some other also like great actors stuff. but then we also didn't want to overdo. it and have everybody you knew there's. spy right there and uh and Nate Diaz. dude [ __ ] hilarious that's a picture.

I saw oh yeah that was cool dude that. was so much fun and I think I'll look. back and be like man this thing was cost. you a ton of money and it wasn't worth. it but man you had a [ __ ] good time. that's I think dud when when I when I. did uh when I did the machine the very. first time I was like I'm not going to. drink there's Chris Aila right there. that's Nate's buddy um but it's I mean. it's a real M like when you're there. you're like damn this is a real movie. movie yeah and I have one thing I got on. set was ice bath and sauna really.

there's a portable company and they have. ice bath and sauna and they bring it and. they set it up right there and that was. like the one thing cuz I knew I was. going to be able to go to a ton of AA. meeting so I was like I'm going to have. to have something to like hijack my. system to like help me so I don't you. know you know or when was the last time. you shot a place up never but it's like. you don't to get there in front of a. bunch of people you know especially. around your friends wait when was the. last when was the last time you fell off. the wagon oh man uh what's what's it.

like when you re like the morning after. is it is it like shameful or you go like. like is it cuz that's the only reason I. never quit drinking is I don't want to. [ __ ] I don't want to relapse like. that like honestly my biggest problem. with when I quit drinking is getting. back to drinking is so difficult cuz you. you're doing so well and you're like I'm. feel good I'm losing weight I feel. [ __ ] happy like I don't want to drink. and then you're like yeah but I want to. cruise and a champagne and then the next. morning it's just like the [ __ ] you you.

let everyone down although no one's let. down cuz I never quit drinking right so. like but like what's oh I see that. pressure of letting everybody down. that's why that's my pressure is why I'm. I'm terrified to quit drinking so you're. afraid to quit drinking because you. don't want to cuz then if you relapse. and you'll have let everybody down yeah. that's crazy dude I thought you thought. you were going to say it was brilliant. no it's like the same way like you ever. see you ever see someone that loses. weight right yeah and they're like I. lost like 90 lb you're like cool and. then they gain it back plus some and. you're like oh you should have never.

tried to lose weight you should have. just stayed that fat that fat was good. for you well you see people losing. weight and suddenly it feels like the. person that's been inside them is. finally coming out to play or whatever. you start to see that coming to the. surface like a fish coming to the. surface you know sometimes sometimes you. see that sometimes people lose weight. and they're like and you're like I like. you have fat oh yeah I knew a guy like. that he used to clean the pool over at. my friend's house and one time I was. there catching some rays and he shows up. and I had seen him in forever and he'. lost 170 pounds or something this dude. comes in and uh and he he's walking.

around the pool and I'm. like and he kind of looking at me but he. didn't say anything because I knew the. fat pool guy yeah I knew him well so. you're looking for the fat pool guy had. no this I like maybe this is his brother. or his son or maybe they got a new guy I. didn't say anything to the dude so we're. out there around each other for like 45. minutes didn't say anything and then. later that evening I was like man you. guys got a new pool guy and they're like. no that's the the same guy he lost 190. PBS I was like [ __ ] isn't that crazy you. can change because when you lose weight.

you kind of change your personality oh. yeah like when you CU there's a. narcissism and by the way I'm take what. I'm with every Grand of salt there's a. narcissism about a person who decides. weight loss is going to be their thing. I'm going to get real skinny I want to. get ripped like it's okay to get healthy. but like when you go like and look if. you're 400 lb that's not narcissism. that's just getting yourself to the next. level but you can change your. personality when you lose weight what if. you could do something you could change. your race like what if you like they're. like dude if you start eating.

blueberries you'll be black wouldn't. that be cool yeah just to be like is oh. you're eating a lot of blueberries like. I'm gonna be black yeah we got a game on. [Music]. Thursday like I'm going to polish off a. few before I go into practice that's. what I would do if blackberries really. made you black yeah you're eating a lot. of matah you're like taxes are doe in. April you know how it is [ __ ] yeah. trying to say yeah to cut some cor. what's up with the burritos you're like. a my yard's a [ __ ] mess I gotta.

[ __ ] clean that [ __ ] up Jesus yeah. somebody's got to do it what's up with. the tuna fish sandwiches just trying to. improve my credit that's all just want. to get my good credit score god damn it. who what's up with eating [ __ ] and. you're like I don't that's just for fun. what's up with all those hot dogs you're. like don't say. anything dude what about being the first. gay dude ever it must have been. crazy imagine everybody's straight right. and you wake up or something happens you. get hit by lightning or whatever and.

suddenly you're gay and you're like oh. my God like you're just talking to your. buddy who you who you've talked to every. day for years and and you're just like. thinking like I'm gonna stuff his. [ __ ] face with some weener and you're. like what and and then you like don't. like imagine that cuz then you have to. take some other guy aside or somebody. aside and be like hey this is going to. seem totally crazy to you guys. but I keep thinking. about coming on Jacob or whatever you. know and people were like yeah that does.

sound crazy don't tell anyone that don't. tell anyone that you're the only one. that thinks that and then imagine the. moment where you meet the other gay guy. you're like were you were you like I. remember I had a buddy one time we were. at a beach and he was like Hey man can I. say something crazy to you that I've. never really said to anyone but I want. to run it by you and see if you think it. oh I say no and people say that kind of. [ __ ] I [ __ ] oh I said yes I said yeah. we were drinking we were smoking weed I. was like run it by me he goes there's a. thing that everyone says they don't do.

that I do and I was like please be. jerking off please be jerking off please. be jerking off I go okay and he's like. everyone says that if you do it you're. gay but I do it and I'm not gay I just. wanted to like run it by you and see if. you do it and I said okay what's the. thing and he. goes I jerk off and I had the weight of. the world come off my shoulders I I jerk. off too I jerk off too oh my God I. thought I was the only one that jerked. off I thought I was gay because I jerked. off cuz that's what they tell you at. Catholic school you don't jerk off don't.

touch yourself means you're gay you want. to play with. dicks that was what must be being gay. and meeting Another Gay for the first. time feels like you're like oh my God I. want to suck dick too oh God but how do. you let them know do you just be like. hey I would love to see that I would. love I would love gays in the wild. orever like a Richard atenor movie where. they're like okay we have at that lunch. table two gay men the Memphis homosexual. yeah and you can watch them kind of feel. each other out yeah perusing the Whole.

Foods produce section what I think is. fascinating is the gay dudes who hook up. with the gay football player who then is. like you can't tell him I'm gay I'm. gonna beat your [ __ ] ass and you're. like okay you know yeah like that's. like yeah like why do I get my ass beat. just cuz you're being gay or whatever. that didn't make any sense I wish I wish. I could out wouldn't it be cool if like. on Instagram I guess you could but you. can find out every gay dude you ever. knew growing up growing up mhm and.

apologize to them or whatever no no I. don't need to apologize just to know who. they are oh yeah to see who they are. yeah dude I think in the future you'll. be able to know immediately if. somebody's gay my buddy's dad used to. get um he'd get like the uh hiccups if. people were gay ain't that crazy yeah. like like allergic to gay people no he. would just have like a he would just. like he'd be he like and he he like an. allergy yeah like like all of a sudden. if a gay person got too close to him and.

you're like uh oh you're like I hope. it's not. me someone get him a glass of water. quick count the 10 while you drinking 10. sips yeah stand on your head stand on. your head quick quick quick quick either. that or you're getting the [ __ ] out of. here stand on your head or somebody's. gay dude it's just so crazy that being. gay was always like the funniest thing. though too to people like you know yeah. it still is funny I think oh yeah I mean. it's like it's so different I mean I I'm. certain gay guys make fun of straight. guys I'm sure I'm sure they do about.

like the way we think and they're like. oh yeah I want all that [ __ ] like oh my. God who wants [ __ ] yeah they want that. long [ __ ] that wayer I mean everything. everything like you ever seen uh White. me people make fun of or black people. make fun of white people's texts uhuh is. it good it's so good but like the idea. that they can't understand understand. the way we communicate that black people. just can't wrap their head around the. way we simply communicate on a text and.

they think it's crazy they're like shut. up uh. hold there was a text h. oos B and they were like what do you. think they it's a black dude reading it. he speaks white and he goes they go and. his wife girlfriend's like what H HS o b. what would that mean and he goes oh I. know what it means it's hold on one damn. second buddy and everyone's and they're. like what they put buddy on the end of. it and he's like oh yeah and but like.

they find that funny so like everything. everything you can find everything funny. like I like I still think like like I. put my dick and balls in a wine glass. one time and I went up to behind Tom and. I went actual glass wine glass yeah wine. glass that's very dangerous yeah and I. went uh up to him behind his shoulder oh. yeah and I went cocktail and he turned. around I find that to be the funniest. thing could ever do yeah I love it I. love it I love I used to do this thing. where I would pull my nuts up over my.

wiener right that's not where I thought. you were going with that you're kind of. laying on your back nuts up over your wi. and kind of wrap your wien so it almost. looks like a half like a baby head. coming out of your body right and You'. be like I'm having a baby or whatever. you know yeah and um and then people be. like what the [ __ ] are you. doing you have to [ __ ] kind of run. off and hide or whatever be like wait. what the [ __ ] you doing we're the. library what the [ __ ] oh dude there was. nothing more crazy than being at the.

[ __ ] Library when you're were a kid. it was basically just like it was like a. couple thousand square feet of you. hiding from a lady who's like obsessed. with Vol or whatever and you and your. friends were just in there being loud. there was like one other person in a. wheelchair in there it like never made. any [ __ ] sense they're just in there. like in the they're just like wandering. the halls of the old internet or. whatever like they wanted to teach us. the Dewey Decimal System so bad when we. were kids the library was always. ridiculous I felt like what was I going. to ask you about oh so yeah the yeah I.

wonder if people would watch the steroid. Olympics or if it would be too much for. people why not because you're going to. get people that are going to be risky no. but why even have the regular Olympics. well regular Olympics are regular you. know everybody the playing field is even. playing fields even when you use drugs. yeah right I mean I mean why honestly. like if you're like. okay uh what are you going to watch I. want to watch high jump a guy can high. jump seven feet and you're like that's. cool like there's a dude 10 feet you're.

like what do you mean like over a. basketball hoop like yeah 10 feet it's. like [ __ ] crazy and they light it on. fire and you're like oh what put that. one on it's like I mean it's just like. like supply and demand what do you want. to watch you know a guy. Sprint like sprinting is pretty cool. right the sprinters are pretty cool no. Tyreek Hill I want to watch that head. tohe head but what if they bring in a. guy that's like oh he [ __ ] smokes. those guys and you get to see a real. blur of a human just like a cheetah and.

you're like whoa I mean physical. capabilities when you see people it's. like the natural bodybuilding versus. stero why would you ever put the two. together I want to see the big ones but. but what I just worry about the. ramification like if somebody's but I. guess if they want to do it but you. you're going to blow your body out great. how great was baseball when Martin. McGuire and Samy s were how great was. baseball to good point it was so [ __ ]. great and then they ruined it by taking. steroids away and these guys weren't I. mean look I don't know what they were. doing I don't steroids yeah but but I.

think it was all for Recovery it wasn't. wasn't like they were like I don't think. they were doing deck I think they were. doing trt if I'm not mistaken I don't. remember I don't really know but they. were pretty jacked they were on. something their heads were growing. that's the thing it's like if you my. head's growing your head is I have a. size eight head and now my head eight. size eight hats are because of the trt I. guess I don't know well that's the thing. dude it's like if you start getting on. the drugs then like you're going to have. a lot of forehead monsters out there. just wandering around you know just. [ __ ] I just wonder what type of. intent you just jumping into the stands.

and [ __ ] punching their wife or. something like you're going to have [ __ ]. like just this shit's going to get. pretty intense somebody throw the. javelin out in the [ __ ] parking lot. or whatever you know uh and hit that guy. that works in the booer HGH human okay. that's human grow is a crazy one you. show up in their hands are bigger and. [ __ ] and they're [ __ ] they can catch. a fish they can just easily catch a fish. and [ __ ] they don't even yeah before and. after pictures of Barry Bonds is [ __ ]. insane oh yeah brother when look at him. look at him yeah it's like you're not.

even it's like but your skeleton and. stuff grows that's the thing dude or. what if then they had they had like the. fasting games it's like people that. haven't eaten in months or whatever and. they have to play they have to do the. Olympics and it's just like the it's. like going up two stairs or whatever I. ped it for UFC or getting out of a. blanket fully but you haven't eaten in. like months and you're just so you no. energy I like that I would I want ASMR. type of game I challenged is Israel adna.

to a as a joke but just was like I would. love to fight him but we both got to. drink 12 Beers first and Izzy was like. Izzy I talked to Izzy about it and he. was like I'm not going to lie it'll be. an interesting fight cuz he's like I'm. not a big drinker so I'd be [ __ ]. wasted and I was like I'm 12 Beers. doesn't do anything to me like what if. you put Shane Gillis and and like and. like uh and Izzy is a perfect example. because he doesn't drink but Shan Shane. Gill is going to drink 12 Beers and not. feel a thing yeah like oh I think it' be.

I think Iz would beat the ever living. [ __ ] out of both of you. guys to be honest first of all yeah I. think so F he's [ __ ] great at it cuz. it's really just taking both of you guys. the same which your current levels. giving you each 12 Beers yeah it's just. giving us 12 Beers we haven't increased. our our our level at all we're trying to. diminish his but even after beers he. still is a professional [ __ ]. fighter yeah so that's a part that would. be risque I think he came to my my New.

Zealand show and he and I had said it a. couple times on two bears that I I. wanted to do it and he came up and. they're like I get a text they're like. yo Izzy wants to come to your show and I. was like okay i' I've said some joking. wild [ __ ] like I said it about everyone. I do it to everyone I did to Connor I. did it I just like guys I know have. sense of humor the cage fighters I love. those guys Michael Chandler uh all those. guys Michael bisbing they're funny. [ __ ] D oh yeah most of those guys are. most of there's a couple that aren't but. I just don't think they get comedy but I. don't that I don't mention those guys. sugar Shan [ __ ] great dude he is.

[ __ ] awesome he has the best sense of. humor dude Connor hysterical Nate Diaz. [ __ ] love Nate Nick all of them but. uh I was like I don't know if Izzy's Got. a sense of humor like I don't and then. everyone's like he does he does he does. and they're like I get a text you want. to come to my you can I come to your. show I was like yeah of course DM or. something so I get him tickets and he. comes back and he's with like all his. buddies and comes over and he's like hey. he the machine and he grabs me and he. holds me by the neck real tight and he. real quick brings his knee to my stomach.

he goes you still want to [ __ ] fight. me and I went no and he goes ah just. kidding around I was like oh my God I. would have been [ __ ] destroyed this. man is so [ __ ] strong and so quick. and just. bigger yeah I think they'll just GI wrap. you like they work at the mall at that. place where you get that nice rapping or. whatever he'll [ __ ] tie you up with. his feet. that'd be crazy if he G wrapped you with. his own feet do you you guys have a 5k. coming up I saw oh yeah two bears 5K you.

going run run run I'm not going to run. this year why not uh I just can't do it. why uh I just don't think I could do it. yeah you could I don't know Theo and. jelly rolls on it though dude I saw. jelly roll is Tom o zic do you think is. Tom o zic I don't know. huh no he just works out really hard oh. he looks so thin here no yeah no that's. not him those are different B. but he is very thin he's right now he's. like 186 lbs oh my God yeah he's really. thin um yeah out he works out really.

hard and he watches everything he eats. wow so he's really locked in on that. he's really locked I saw jell roll two. nights ago the healthiest I've seen him. look jelly is down 130 lbs and he looks. [ __ ] great and and the thing about. this is you know we just did this as a. lark they look happy you look immensely. [ __ ] scared of getting some results. back yeah I don't know why they picked. that picture for me but anyway we did. this as a lark on two bears me and Tom. said we just do a 5k because I've always.

run I ran the LA Marathon I've run half. marathons tough mutters uh Spartan races. I've done all of them I enjoy the event. the event for me is fun 5K is so. digestible I just ran Travis barers in. New Orleans over the Super Bowl and uh. and I said you know Tom let's do a 5K. and I've always had stupid ideas like. big tple stupid ideas that never pan out. and Tom's like yeah let's do it we. called bunch of celebrities on our our. you know Comics just friends on the show. everyone committed barely any of them. showed up but jelly roll hold it heard.

it and he went on nek booy podcast and. he was like. um think I need to get in shape and by. the way type in jelly roll on busting. with the Bears you forget how big he was. and so he said I'm going to commit to. Bert and Tom's two bears 5K and I'm. doing my first 5k and he started. training and I get facetimes from him. he's like I hate this it is this get any. better I was like it doesn't it it takes. a while before starts getting better and. he did came out like like good to his. word came out to LA did the 5K with me.

my I wore a 50 lb weight vest look at. how big he was foret how big he was he. looks so man I saw him the other night I. literally grabbed his face and I was. like oh my God he looks great dude look. at it by the way look at [ __ ] Taylor. look how big Taylor looks Taylor's so. lean now somebody said he's modeling or. something like it's crazy that his wife. married that and then now she gets that. she gets like a really skinny. good-looking dude who looks like he. listens to Blink. 182 All the Small Things yeah totally he.

said he got All the Small Things. tattooed right above his [ __ ] too that's. what I. heard so jelly so jelly came out to. jelly came out for the two bears 5K last. year and we did it and I wore 50 PB way. Fest he did it last year he did it last. year he did it last year he lost like 70. pounds People magazine did a big write. up on him he really kind of evented the. event because I think jelly was just. starting to really really pop and. everyone's like good for him and then. people were like I can do that Fu like.

Kid Rock called him in the middle of the. race like dude I'm proud of you and we. walked it me W his wife Bunny and my. wife Leanne and him we walked the whole. thing and then as we crossed as we. crossed the line great he was crying. bunny was crying leam was crying you. know I was crying and Jelly's like you. might have bunny said to me you might. have saved his life from whatever this. stupid idea was and so from that moment. he's like yo we're doing this again this. year so we're doing it in Tampa May 4th. at Raymond James Stadium and I mean I'm.

telling you right now it's going to be. such a big [ __ ] event like it is. y'all are doing it at Raymond James. Stadium we're doing it in the stadium. and then we're partying on the field. after we've got [ __ ] polar plunges. saunas we've got a rope climb we've got. uh people are just people are coming out. and doing it with y'all people are doing. the 5K I'm going to do it I think I'm. doing it three times so I'm going to run. the first heat I'm going to run the. second heat and then I'm on the third. heat with jelly and Bunny and Leanne and. how far is it seven miles no it's five. three miles it's so doable you could do. it oh I could do it yeah I know I could.

do it right well here's what happened to. me I broke my toe like probably three. weeks ago so I'm dealing with that right. now big toe second from the right the. one next to the little piggy or whatever. and uh wait what Foot Right Foot second. from the right the little next to the. little piggy Yeah I broke it dude and so. it's been miserable so I haven't been. able to there's so many things I haven't. been able to do what do you do for. working out I a lot of yoga right now. and then I'll just do like circuit. training but like find like four. exercises do four reps of them you know.

and do that four times and then I'll do. like three blocks of those yeah but this. past three weeks has been miserable it's. been like it sucks when you break its to. dude it's unbelievable I was like you. got to be kidding me you can't hardly do. anything I can't even push off into a. good hug with anybody people like you. can't even [ __ ] hug or whatever you. [ __ ] or whatever you hug [ __ ] I. dropped a whiskey bottle on my three toe. my big toe the toe next to it and the. toe next to that and I shattered them. and I was like what do I do and they're. like nothing and I just had to wait and. wait it was my big toe I was barefoot.

for three months it was it was so it was. happened December it happened Jan Janu. January 1st January 1st so it's been a. month and now they're fine they're fine. already yeah testosterone testosterone. testosterone testosterone helps huh oh. so reparative [ __ ] am I doing what are. you doing I'm just afraid I'll lose my. hair you're not gonna lose your hair you. can always give so much [ __ ] hair can. I have some no I would love some of your. hair but here's what happens people say. you're not going to lose your hair and. then you [ __ ] well I I tried trt one. time a few years ago and I lost some of.

my [ __ ] hair no yeah [ __ ] I. did God damn it is that wait where can I. see the new hair huh is that new hair. you can't really see it they just kind. of put it in there and I think my hair. that I lost because of stress actually. grew back I think I just had so much. stress You' look like you have a ton of. hair right now that I was shedding. what's crazy is that your top hair goes. gray before your side hairs so then. it'll be perfectly peppered m somebody. save me um you had also my favorite.

musician right now one of anyway Stephen. Wilson Jr was on your podcast how great. is he every bones. tether you want to change my name got to. drain my. blood everything I am everything he. wants he's the best dude he is really. great I'm a song I'm a song you love. that one I've listened to that one a. couple times it's not my favorite are. you serious i' I've listened to it cuz I. know you like it yeah I've listened to. it it just and I know how much you love.

it I love it dude because it's it's so. beautiful that it I remember the song I. lost my virginity to I remember the song. I got my first car to I remember the. song that Leanne and I fell in love to I. remember songs for me like I get very. emotional listen to music I I mean every. one of these episodes I'm like yo don't. put the camera on me I'm crying and did. you hear what happened when I did it. with him he goes to start playing and he. starts playing playing on a song and I. went and he goes and he had to stop he. goes bur can you please not cry like. that like I cried out loud but man a.

music for me is so emotional red clay. Strays came over to my house and played. oh yeah so good and I was like I was. like shut the [ __ ] up dude goose is one. of my favorite bands in the world you. know listen to No my best friend Scott. loves them but I haven't listened to him. that much I've had I've had very very. I've been very blessed with the. opportunities of having these this this. band is so [ __ ] great but I've been. very blessed to have all these guys come. and girls come over and play music for. me because I just I love music and I. think sometimes it's like I'm good at a.

podcast like if I if I'm talking to you. because because I don't know but. sometimes with like younger Comics I'm. at the best because I don't like I don't. know I'm not great you know but with. musicians I'm so much I'm so fascinated. by their process and who they are and I. don't know anything about them and and. you get to kind of Deep dive them and. then and then and and you've had some. great [ __ ] musicians on I mean I saw. Billy strings live the other night oh. yeah Billy strings he took me fishing. one day too he's such a special yeah.

he's just the most he's so. normal he's so he's so not a cele or you. know he's just a normal guy do you think. you're not a celebrity uh I think I. don't like the celebrity part of it I. don't see a lot of value in it I but. like you get a lot of access to cool. [ __ ] it's a mirage yeah like that's the. only thing I see that you like about. celebrity is and I wouldn't say that you. like it but I I noticed that you you. travel and go see the events you want to.

see like you get to go do everything. like I look at yours I'm like you're at. UFC you're at [ __ ] Jelly Roll Show. you're at uh Kid Rock Show you're at. you're like at the [ __ ] uh Republican. National Convent or whatever the thing. the inauguration like I look at that and. I go that only comes with celebrity yeah. you don't get that if you're just. talented you got to be famous and. talented and so I think I see you. leveraging that in the best way that. you're filling your interests I think I. saw you with uh Caitlyn Clark oh yeah.

and I was like that only comes with. celebrity and so well I'm a fan of hers. I'm a I'm friends with her boyfriend. really Connor yeah Conor Clark no Connor. it would be crazy that' be illegal it. sounds like um Conor mcaffrey but umen. is she dating Christian McCaffrey's. brother no I don't think they're related. but we went up to watch uh Cayla me and. Caleb and then that's how we met Connor. you you interviewed Jesse Murphy Jesse. murf Jesse murf she's the best that's.

the little girl that sings uh uh. cigarette card done out the with jelly. roll oh uh Wild Ones Wild. Ones open. 452 always smok something wor about and. he ain't got nothing to lose I got. I texted I DM uh her one time I was like.

I like I I was like I was like I should. not love this song as much as I love it. yeah what did you think of the Super. Bowl halftime show the Super Bowl. halftime show I thought I tweeted about. it that I thought it was boring right. and I I only know like I'm not a big. Kendrick listener right okay because and. then a couple days ago I ended up taking. down my tweet actually I just felt like. well I guess I felt like why am I. judging this I don't [ __ ] know you. know what I'm saying I think sometimes. you forget that like people are going to.

make a big could make a big deal out if. you tweet something that you can't just. say like [ __ ] whatever you want. without some people having like. reactions to it maybe well dude I I mean. I think I think it I'm I'm sure you've. had gotten negative feedback in your. life and you just go well that wasn't my. intent and then if you ever talk to that. person they're like oh I didn't know. you're going to see it and you're like. like if Kendrick might be a big fan of. yours and he sees it and then he's like. oh [ __ ] the other that sucks right right. I thought about that but then I also no. I just thought about like why am I I. think like two days I was like why am.

I why am I judging this guy and then. people are going to judge me like what. kind of energy am I really creating I. don't think that's what I thought when I. was tweeting and I was just like oh this. is [ __ ] you know I just it was it. didn't feel like it was for me I don't. know I didn't know enough of his songs I. think that was the I mean there's I. think there was a bunch of issues I. think number one is his catalog his. catalog is very big in the culture in in. white culture I don't think there's. enough crossover he's only have like two. crossover songs I think he played both. of them but like I'll tell you being. there I was sitting next to jamus. Winston when it happened and man we.

loved it we it was really fun in the. stadium maybe on TV it didn't translate. but it was really fun in the stadium the. interesting person's take was Kid Rocks. take did you hear his he was like CU you. know Kid Rocks you know I remember he. shot those Pepsis up when the that fell. was drinking them gay Pepsis or whatever. he's got you know what I'm talking about. yeah yeah yeah butd light oh butd light. I'm sorry um but he but his take was uh. he did this for the culture like Kid.

Rock's take was pretty insightful. because Kid Rock grew up loving in. hip-hop in Hip Hop and so his his take. was really kind of insightful he's like. y he did this for the culture he did. this as representation of like everyone. on stage is black it was all about like. inside what what they listen to I mean. Kendrick's a [ __ ] Legend dude yeah. now here my take okay. it's [ __ ] New Orleans like kind of. like why not celebrate boozy uh Wayne.

masterp like why not the way they did LA. right and then it doesn't have to be. black you know I mean I'm sure there's. Harry conic Jr saying at the beginning. there's a lot of talent that isn't but. New Orleans is like a black music Town. Jazz hipop I put. juvie uh oh it would have been sick but. then somebody I thought that too. somebody brought to my attention but. most of the people in New Orleans aren't. at the game probably it's a lot of. people from out of town so then it's. like yeah it's interesting do you.

celebrate the city what is the real goal. of whoever they put out there or why. they put certain PE like um stars um but. then also I thought then I thought well. also a lot of the athletes are black. they may all Kendrick might be one of. their favorites just cuz I don't I. haven't listened to a lot of kendri. except for the mainstream stuff doesn't. mean I don't you know that I wouldn't. like it I don't know I guess I probably. wanted something more that a basic white. guy would want you know jelly roll Bruno.

Mars Bruno Mars is there's no one. there's no performer better than Bruno. Mars his shows top to God damn bottom. are the most entertaining shows with so. many songs you recognize yeah it is that. guy is so talented Justin Timberlake. Take I'm worth my money New Kids on the. Block bring them back I would be a cool. Super Bowl show maybe if they'd have. done like some music over the years but. I think sometimes you just you don't you. forget. that just because you do like if if it.

wasn't me tweeting nobody would have. probably shared it or given a [ __ ] yeah. and I don't mean that in a way like an. ego way like but you sometimes you're. just tweeting [ __ ] just thinking like. this is what I think nobody's G to care. I I said I said out loud it should have. been Lou Wayne and juie and everyone and. then we were at uh we were at doing I. did a show at the Super Bowl with Nikki. Tony and Shane and uh and I didn't even. I didn't even see my critique come back. at me but someone goes why didn't you. have Theo and Mark here and I was like. huh and they're like they're this is.

their Hometown they should have. performed here and I went oh [ __ ] I was. like I didn't even think I didn't even. but you guys asked me to come do it I. think we did yeah actually we did I just. couldn't yeah we did I couldn't go home. for the Super Bowl cuz I was had to do. that movie God damn it that's right I. did ask want to be I to ask [ __ ] too. [ __ ] that guy yeah [ __ ] that guy you. know I mean there's always something. that's going to make you feel some type. of way I guess and then it's like I I. know I mean but then I was like why do I. [ __ ] care like and who needs to hear. my opinion so like that okay I'm going. to interrupt you CU here's what I love.

to know did you get any push back when. you went to the Republican National or. the Republican inauguration yeah for. real yeah I did get push back about it. which I didn't really understand like um. I would go if anybody invited me to go. to the inauguration dude like people on. the street where I grew up there not. nobody's ever going to the inauguration. nobody from my [ __ ] Street my. neighborhood is ever going to the. inauguration probably ever no they're. not some of these people cannot legally.

vote anymore um so the simple fact that. I got to go right Bobby Kennedy is a. friend of mine Bobby Kennedy is a sweet. dude people are like you're not I'm want. to support my [ __ ] friend I don't. care if they if I have a friend that. went to jail for even something serious. I would still go and you know maybe. speak on their behalf sometimes or take. them bread or whatever you know like I'm. going to be supportive so yeah some of. that [ __ ] but I would never hold it. against somebody if they went to an. inauguration so then I got to start.

thinking well that's just odd of that. person some of that's on them you know. like I've even had friends that I've. texted and they'll be like oh it's uh. didn't know you were so Maga or whatever. and it was like I I've never ever in my. life thought of myself as Maga you know. never I've never thought of you as I've. never thought of you as political I. thought of you as just a person. interested in living life like that's I. mean that's my perspective like I I. honestly when you went to the. inauguration I was like oh that's. [ __ ] dope that's [ __ ] crazy like I. would go in a I'd go in a [ __ ]. heartbeat I went to I went to George.

Bush's when I was a kid I went to George. Bush's uh State of the Union I went to. Bill Clinton State of the Union and. George Bush's State of the Union no one. ever called me on it like I was I was 18. 20 whatever 16 18 whatever the [ __ ] it. is yeah I went to both I went to the uh. State of the Union like every time we. got a present my uncle could get me in. wow and I and I just think it's a crazy. wild thing to see democracy working and. and like I if I got invited to an. inauguration or a I mean I got invited.

to the uh Republican National Convention. but it was as an influencer and I was. like I'm not goingon to yeah I wouldn't. I think I got invited as that too I. wouldn't go to I wouldn't do something. like that I'm not going to go like go. like I'm Gonna Get You fans right but. like if you invite me and I don't have. to do [ __ ] and I can hang out I [ __ ]. go I thought it was cool as [ __ ] yeah I. wouldn't go to support like one party. you know what I'm saying like I If. somebody like I got asked to do some. Republican stuff like like that I I. wouldn't go do that you know um and we. just got lucky with that's who would. come on our podcast was uh Vance and.

Trump everybody got asked everybody was. in everybody was emailing with us but. they didn't want to come like there's. nothing I can do about that and then you. expect that I'm not going to go kind of. be supportive of the fact that they even. came and sh they came yeah [ __ ] at least. they [ __ ] gave a [ __ ] to come now I. think Trump like what they're doing with. Gaza and him coming in and speaking on. that is one of the most [ __ ] up things. I've heard of in my life kind of you. know already lost me That's how little I. know about politics but so it's like I. yeah I don't know that [ __ ] was kind of. crazy to me but then you got to realize.

like all you could like I just have to. just be myself man and I don't even know. who that is sometimes and so I'm still. learning about who that is you know what. you should what I mean this is what I'm. saying this to hear it right yeah I'm. saying this to hear it but what you have. to realize is the people that love you. love you and then [ __ ] everyone else. that's the truth is I'm trying to get to. that the people that love you love you. and [ __ ] everyone else cuz you can't. [ __ ] help someone that doesn't like. you that person that sends that text has. been waiting to send that text in one.

manner or another they're bothered by. everything good happening in your life. it's a reflection of their shortcomings. and they're like didn't know you were so. magga and you're like go [ __ ] yourself. go [ __ ] yourself yeah if you ever think. you could I would never let anybody even. put a pin in me that describe me as one. part of one group anyway I I will never. be part of one group. I wouldn't even do that to myself this. is who I am I'm vegan they don't even. have the [ __ ] group that I am you. know and they buddy they do not have the.

group you are and I think they don't. have the group that a lot of us are more. complex than just being like you're this. or that you know yeah who if they said. we had a [ __ ] 30k struggling. alcoholic guy who's in therapy with his. wife you know what I'm saying who loves. a [ __ ] good brisket and Johnson BR. you know what I'm saying and cares about. his kids a ton. where's that group my group doesn't. exist my group I love when they want to. put me in my group and go hey man uh you.

have a problem with you're drinking and. I go I'm doing pretty good A good point. that is a good point dude anybody that. says you have a problem you're doing. pretty good always guys in the system or. whatever it's called and they're like. hey man you know you have a drinking. problem I go okay I had a guy tell me I. won't say his name but I'll tell you. after he goes just because you think you. have make a ton of money and you're on. an arena tour and you have three. successful podcasts and you're happily. married your kids are good you think. that that didn't mean you have a problem. I went no I think that's exactly what. that means I think that means that like. I got [ __ ] feelers around me and if. something goes sideways they tell me but.

like right now we're doing pretty solid. so like I go I I said it on a podcast a. long time ago and I got a lot of heat. from people in the system and they were. like uh I said I said sometimes I think. the problem is the person and it's not. the booze or the alcohol it's going to. show its head up in another place you. get rid of the booze and it shows itself. up in gambling or jerking off or sex. addiction it's like you got to take care. of the problem if you don't have the. problem problem like if you don't have. the problem then maybe the maybe maybe. you should look at that like go like hey. man like my wife was a big drinker in.

high college and quit drinking thinking. she was an alcoholic and then realized. oh no my parents were split up I had a. shitty childhood I need to get in. therapy and fix all the things that when. I drink th bring those to the top she. did it my wife never drinks she will. drink every now and then doesn't even. give a [ __ ] and I was like oh wow I want. to be like that I want to be like that. where you go like yeah I can have a. drink sure like last night had a couple. drinks and then I was like I want to I. don't want to be too bloated when I see. Theo tomorrow so I was like I'm going go. to sleep Watch the documentary on hey do.

you think in Japanese Netflix MH how do. you think they um they titled the World. War I movies do you think they're like. World War. II we were also in. it cuz like I was watching it left out. of all it it's like World War II road to. Victory is the one we get what do you. think the ja cuz they have Japanese netf. right huh almost good almost good so. close yeah huh World War I I watched I. watched uh I.

watched um in glorious bastards with a. German guy oh. yeah that's uncomfortable oh with a. German yeah it's like watching Django. and chained with a bunch of black guys. yeah yeah that's not really a postgame. movie he's like oh those are really bad. guys man yeah damn them guys was bad. homie none of them look like my. grandfather I know huh damn bro [ __ ] got. real um what else do we want to talk. about okay uh is there anything else you. got your special coming out speci comes.

out March 18th March 18th yes and uh I. think it's I think it's my best one. lucky cuz I'm the luckiest man alive you. know yeah might be right about you buddy. I am think about if I pitched me to you. I wouldn't believe it right 25 years old. in college been in college seven years. roughly yeah Rolling Stone no no degree. no chances of graduating no hopes of. graduating uh no no real Direction in. life uh Rolling Stone magazine discovers.

me and calls me the number one party on. the country and a Buccaneers fan at that. time and a bucks fan back when the Bucks. and the Saints sucked and a test ofie. Jersey dude back when you were just. waiting for the 49ers to come town and. beat your ass from Florida from Florida. before anyone knew what a Florida man. was those were all my uncles and my. [ __ ] Brothers all all my people in my. life all for around Florida man rolling. stone discovered magazines discovered me. called the number one party in the. country Oliver Stone options the rights. to my life I moved to New York within 6. months I get a development deal from. Will Smith that's weird now but I moved. to LA I get my first TV show on uh the X.

show I then get another development deal. at CBS I meet the love of my life I keep. working in TV I get fired I get on. travel CH I mean all the things that. have happened to me are so godamn lucky. that I look at it and I go I don't. deserve to be where I am I I have the. greatest group of friends meaning like. my. friends you in you included are the. funniest most thoughtful people in the. world the the funniest people in the.

world but yet people who will take time. out of their schedule to go see my. wife's live podcast when they don't need. to like that's my friends right Tommy. you Joe Ari some of them drug me but. like Joey Diaz you know it happens but. like you look at your group of friends. and your and there's more than that I. got two great kids who are really. [ __ ] well-rounded for a dad who's. leveraged their child to make money yeah. yeah and they're but they're still. well-rounded and they're happy and we. love each other and and I'm healthy and. I'm the strongest I've ever been and uh.

and I get to do what I love and for work. today to promote my special I get to sit. with you and just chat about I mean. that's like I'm the luckiest. [ __ ] but I also think I really. believe this you have to identify your. luck I think I mentioned this in the. special you just have to start looking. at things as half full and don't like. even the bad things go that needed to. happen to me m that had to happen to me. to get me to the place where I could see. the luck come from it you know I mean. it's like look at all the [ __ ] you've. been. through and and then I go thank God like.

I think I was thinking of it today I was. I was. like I hate that Theo had to go through. you know drugs and alcohol because. that's so not him and it's never been. who I know you knew you to be I never. even knew you to party to be dead honest. with you yeah I never saw it yeah and I. go but you. know I'm so glad he did cuz he's so so. [ __ ] grounded now like he seems like. in such a better place and he's got all. these great stories about the time he. got high on coke and locked himself out. of his apartment while he was making a. smoothie like those [ __ ] wild stories.

where you're doing coke with Daryl. strawberry and [ __ ] the Bronx I mean. you have all these crazy Adventures now. but you're so like like I go you just. got to look at it and go that sucked. then but that's that's then this is now. we're now we're lucky yeah yeah no you. got to be here to tell them dude I mean. I I I lucky I went to yeah for sure. lucky I'm lucky as [ __ ] and I think if I. can put luck out there like I say I. bought like uh $100 worth of pennies.

it's a lot of pennies more than you'd. think it's wild and I just started. throwing them around La just flipp them. on the ground because every time you see. a penny you're like oh [ __ ] good luck. yeah I was like oh why not just gift. that to people like just little and then. if I have a project like that I start. getting really into it and I'm like. [ __ ] I'm walking through parking lots. dropping them in front of everyone's car. so everyone gets good luck when they get. in their car [ __ ] copper Johnny Apple. see the copper Johnny Apple that's him. spread in luck March 18th on Netflix um. the special is dropping you got the 5K.

in Tampa you have your Double Down Show. that's in Las Vegas yes oh that weekend. I'm in Vegas March 21st and 22nd over at. the Resorts World Theater two shows wow. yeah I'm proud of you man I'm proud of. you man thanks like I we've been friends. for a long time but it's so good to see. it's so man you know my girls and Leanne. root for root for a couple comics and uh. and you're in that short list and so. when good [ __ ] happens to you same with.

Nikki when Nikki I when Nikki did the. Golden Globes they were in a text thread. when crushed it like like uh but you're. in that short list you Shane Nikki Tony. hinchcliff my people in my family knows. yeah and uh it's man it's cool when you. get a text from your kids you're like do. dad did you see the [ __ ] what was the. Theo what I forget what was they're like. have you seen the best of Theo and I was. like No And then Georgia sent it to me. she's like Dad she's on a plane she's. like Dad this [ __ ] he is [ __ ].

hysterical I was like dude [ __ ] yeah I. remember watching Georgia watch Shane. gillers for the first time and was like. are we allowed to laugh at this and I. love that I love that I'm the luckiest. [ __ ] out there well we're lucky. to be in your presence man I feel that. and uh thanks for always being. supportive and thanks for some of the. nice things that you said today dude and. yeah yeah I feel lucky I was driving. over here today I was like man. my job today I get to talk to a friend. of mine. [ __ ] [ __ ] that's that's a blessing it's. a blessing um Berke Cher man stay.

healthy and enjoy your your year off of. Comedy huh I I think I go I'm think I'm. gonna go back on tour maybe October. we'll see we'll see he'll be back on. tour in a month probably but that's okay. he keeps working hard love you bro love. you now I'm just floating on thee and I. feel feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be. Cornerstone oh but when I reach that.

ground I'll share this piece of mind I. found I can feel it in my b. [Music].