Ari Shaffir | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #561
I have some tour dates to tell you about. I'll be in East Lancing I'll be in. Victoria in the Canada I'll be in. College Station Texas belon Texas Oxford. Mississippi Tuscaloosa Alabama Nashville. Tennessee baby and Winnipeg in the. Canada and Calgary in the Canada all. those tickets are at theo. comom. T this is still the return of the Rat. tour I promise we'll we'll end it one of.
these days uh when we've gone all the. places um that we can go uh I'm very. grateful that you guys continue to. support us today's guest is a stand-up. comedian uh he's a. podcaster um he's been an ingal part of. Comedy for a long time Bridges a lot of. uh Bridges a lot of years and. connections between other Comics uh he's. certainly a type of uh of glue in the. humor world his latest special America's.
sweetheart is now on Netflix you know. his podcast you be tripping and he's. currently on the farewell tour going now. through the rest of the year I'm always. excited to spend time with him and catch. up today's guest is Mr Ari shafir. [Music]. [Applause].
too much burrito did you oh I. have American serving sizes and they hit. you with not like chips and salsa first. you fill up on those yeah some serving. sizes. [Music]. are alarming I can't tell if I'm you. know there's an amount of serving size. that you want to get right there's but. then some places that give too much. you're like oh that's this is awesome of. them but then you start having it and. you're like oh this I got keep eating it. I'm a dog and it's not good sometimes.
they're just overloading you with. Badness yeah shitty fries were like. there's no seasoning of this and I ate. them all I should have just been like no. I'll get fried I have fry money I could. go get more fries somewhere but I don't. like they're right here right now I'm. going to eat them I want like two bites. too many would be. perfect okay done with like one or two. extra bites and then that's it buddy. that uh that Trump interview is so. good never seen anybody do it. like that where it's like I mean there's. a way I'm reading it like I'm Theo I'm. like you're here for me not the other.
way around really and you're going to. facilitate me being Theo oh wow yeah. yeah I don't know I just F had I'd had. an exhausted week that week we' had like. a couple of interviews I think it was in. in New York and in um Nashville and so. it was just like a lot of traveling I. was like I do not want to do this today. yeah you could really have to prep for. it but it was just like burnt out you. know yeah but yeah I think people some. people have said that they think it had. an effect on the election and stuff I. don't really think that I think it was. like a neither here nor there he was.
just sitting there like like this for. you it's like when I go into bonfire. with Jay and Dan yeah I would just like. oh you guys have a routine here I'll. just sit back and maybe get one tagline. in you know yeah I wish we' had gotten. more time to get to I wish i' got more. time to talk to Donald Trump because I. thought it would have been just I knew. we only had about like 55 minutes so. that's that's a you know it's a unique. amount of time I hate with those big. guys where they're like we have this. much and you're like all right I'll do. that everybody else is like let's just. go till we're kind of done. yeah like we're going to need to wrap up. and fine but like I'm not there some guy.
in the back some lady like I should have. just been like wave it off but I I. didn't should have been like I don't. work for you don't work for me I don't. work for you I'm gonna keep him here. yeah I wish we had got dude I had a. dream last night actually that I. interviewed Tim Walls actually he's the. loser guy he was the guy the set yeah. they he was on the losing team and he. was um what did you interview him about. what did you talk to him in his in your. dream I can't remember but he was so. cool in the interview and I was like. dude no people don't know if you're so. cool or not we got to we have to come.
let's talk people you know but I think. uh I bet they're all kind of cool I bet. they're like hey you know what I want to. do I want to take power like Oh I like. that and then when they do everyone's. like you yeah I think a lot of them. just probably either want or they want. that's the thing it's so hard to know. what they're really like as opposed to. what you see yeah until I think you get. some sort of like a ver like some thing. of them that seems like somewhat. relatable to you yeah then they're all a. product too I saw somebody talking about.
George Bush Jr how you say nuclear you. know I say nuclear and somebody's like. how do wait how would he say it nuclear. nuclear that's how he would say it no he. said nuclear nuclear oh nuclear is wrong. sorry buddy which one's wrong nuclear. nuclear is wrong yeah nuclear um butle. you don't think he knew it's Nuclear. Power Nuclear Power yeah no matter what. you put on it it's always going to be. nuclear okay yeah I've heard it both. ways I think I'm not I didn't really. know which one was yeah correct but yeah. nuclear but they were like you don't. think you knew how pronounce that his.
father was the president you don't think. he knew and he heard nuclear around the. house they told him to mispronounce that. so he could be relatable wow you think. yeah damn he went to like a Ivy League. school that's true huh he would have. been shaken of that yeah we I think. that's that I think people are starting. to get hip to like how much of it. is um Game of Thrones like image. yeah yeah how much of it is like this. person is doing this or they're being. told this or this is the plan yeah KLA.
did not have a good strategist whoever. her B their planner was or whatever who. was that who was their that's one thing. I've it wasn't the swam campaign adviser. yeah I bet it wasn't that Bal guy what. what's his name he's like the main one. Carville James Carville oh yeah he was. cool not him he would have he would have. he would have done something better he. would have done something cool he's out. of Louisiana yeah that's right I went up. to him once I was like how do you talk. to a celebrity there's no there's no way. I I don't know how to do they know I'm. talking to them because they're them not. just is like oh hey cool shirt and.
didn't know who it was you know so I saw. him on a commercial shoot once I was. like what do I say I'm like I know he. used to call into sports radio and DC. and he had a great thing like always bet. on the home underdog if there are more. than seven points and I was like that's. what I'll say I was like Hey used to. listen to you on wtm with corn Heiser. way back and he goes oh cool. even that yeah there's nothing worse. when because if your planned line. doesn't go good for a celebrity you have. nothing that's it you stand there like. an like uh oh I've done that it.
feels so shitty and it's so obvious what. you were trying to do I know oh dude. that's like joh there was a night where. Johnny Depp was at the comedy store oh. yeah I heard about that and everybody. like you got the star oh he was there. was nobody like him you know he was um. he was everybody dude he was in that. movie Peter Pan he was in that Peter Pan. movie um was he yeah what was it called. uh Finding Neverland Finding Neverland. oh God that's a good movie but anyway.
every so then like suddenly I'd never. even really been backstage at the main. room in the main room I wasn't getting. on stage there much of the time and I'm. like oh I got to go back got to go. back Johnny so you walk in the the back. the back room back there was packed like. you could barely even move everybody's. having like these fake conversations and. kind of has their body lightly turned. towards Johnny Depp they all try to. laugh louder so like maybe he'll join in. with our. joviality I see it with Rogan I bet you.
get it too you sitting like oh cool. nobody's in this bar it's like how did. it just fill up yeah it's like word got. out Theo Von's there oh Rogan I could. imagine dude I feel like you never see I. feel like a lot of people you never see. him he doesn't do a lot of we get like. 20 minutes normal and then it it's over. yeah and I'm like I was sitting there. all right take it yeah they're. like let me tell you about signs you. know I'll tell you where the AIDS is you. know you're like what's this guy and. it's just a gay guy that's flirting or. whatever but um dude it was like that at.
the uh rep that was it and he was in the. back and then coming out I think I oh. that's Ed that's Edgar that's right yeah. he was with Edgar and who brought him. the guy um Doug Stan Doug Stan brought. him from Arizona and everybody was just. like trying to be in his presence his. Aura you could soak it in you could B. you see him and I can't I can't even. remember if I got to meet him or not but. if I did I think it was one of those. things like oh see things are going good. or something like that just like like we.
were from high school together yeah like. you want this Con it's never going to be. that it's never going to be like. shooting this the best was dice one time. met some guy and he goes oh we should we. should hang out so some fan and dice. like you know he is he's like sure give. me your number and dice called him and. texted him 35 times a day bothered him. at work to the point where the guy's. like hey Andrew I'm I'm working right. now goes H yeah work's tough you know. it's like there were a couple jobs I had. when I was younger and it's like Andrew. I got to go back to work the guy just. regretted trying to be friends with.
him yeah that Ah that's hilarious it. does suck I heard Brody Stevens went. back there and like either didn't know. or now that I realized probably somebody. told him and he went back there like oh. like like you're not expecting to see. anybody let alone Johnny Depp. yeah and he goes oh and then I heard. Depp had this way to offset he goes hi. I'm Johnny how you doing or I'm John. yeah and then Brody's like Johnny Depp. yes heard of. it he must have been like this guy's. been weird from me like no no no that's.
just who he is he's going to himself. soon don't worry about. that God yeah that's yeah there's. nothing scarier than if you have a line. for something to say this because your. brain doesn't think it's just like oh. everything will go good it's not like. well if that doesn't get adhered to then. what are you going to do after that yeah. you plan ahead like once that goes great. then what do I do from there I'll talk. I'll listen I'll say hey I will then. I'll ask yeah maybe we can get a photo. or something yeah but God it's so scary. when that first line doesn't go good. because then you don't know what to do. oh it's so embarrassing it is harrowing.
kind of and that was at a time when cele. there was like a real hierarchy to. celebrity then I feel like celebrities. gotten very like anybody like it's. everybody has like um social media you. know everybody has a website everybody. could be a star you know you also see. the real them now the real real. celebrities so you're like oh you're. just a guy yeah you do the same you're. like oh I see you with your dog you're. fine you're normal yeah things have. gotten yeah think celebrities used to. should be kept more in this kind of.
hidden realm kind of yeah I met Rob low. who was one of those big did my travel. podcast yeah and he was like can I. change in the other room was like yeah. sure it's I mean it's filthy I had some. sleeping in there yesterday so like but. like yeah whatever and then she was like. yeah I don't have to like cater to them. you're a guy go in there and. change I don't know right yeah that's. how they all are it's just it's it's. weird realizing as you grow up they're. not different yeah do you think that's. growing up or do you think that it's. changed that the V like maybe it's.
changed maybe but I mean I always take. out the fact that I'm getting that I'm. getting older and growing up that that. could be part of the realization of. things yeah somebody said like whenever. you have a big movie now they're like oh. let's get like Matt Damon or you know. Brad Pit that'll be big big star but. there it's like no one under 28 worships. that guy yeah so like it's a 50-year-old. Studio exact saying that'll be a. headline like no no get Timothy shalomay. yeah get somebody younger yeah get. Timothy Shalom or get a lesbian who's a. Timothy shalamay impersonator yeah yeah. without even trying.
yeah but even that would go further with. the Young Generation sure would they'. like oh like what the um Ari shafir. man good to see you bro you too buddy. yeah are you living so are you living in. Austin now no New York oh you still live. in New York just publicly and every time. I there there so many pictures. so everyone's like I guess you must be. there yeah yeah you can't do two feet. without somebody posting a picture of. you and they're pretty immediate over. there too yeah like the second you're. there you show up on social media yeah. you're like it's almost like hey how's.
how's the crowd I'm about to go on I. noticed you they just post you there. like oh all right they're pretty good do. you are you amazed at the success of. Austin or with the comedy scene in. Austin what do you think about it do you. it's exciting for sure it's exciting. they got some to overcome if they. want to be the real scene yeah yeah. the they they need to know where they're. weak they. don't oh where they're weak The. Comedians you mean yeah there there's a. lot of like ass kiss in there it's like. we're great we're great and you got to. focus on why we're terrible self-hating.
was always drive you better than. celebration oh you know what that's a. good I don't know if there's as much. self-hatred there yeah the store. especially when you started going there. like right after me it was it was like. nobody was there like we suck we. suck it's obvious no one's here to see. us so let's try to be better yeah. they've kind of started out like doing. well yeah kind of like the Jean. Benet of Comedy four-year comics with. like serious Road draws like oh you need. that struggle time you started.
with a spotter that's not the best way. to work out I didn't really think about. that yeah but it's still exciting it's a. new burgeoning scene and that's pretty. exciting you know there's no there's no. Hollywood there to to to it up to. like shift people away from what they're. doing so they're really just. concentrating on jokes. yeah yeah it's I I've know like At first. I was like what's this going to be like. you know it seemed like a lot of like um. you know when Joe went but then also Tom. saguro went which is huge and a lot of. comedians I think the bigger thing is.
those five six year Comics that are. going and in 10 years it's going a long. it's a long game to make that scene. something and in 10 years they're going. to be the biggest the best comics and. they're G to be Austin Comics yeah you. know yeah that's kind of the last time I. was there I was like you could go up and. down that street and do kind of five. sets in a night if you wanted I was like. well that is nice yeah that's do you. ever I mean I don't know how you are. normally you're so big now it's. pretty cool but like I talked with Shane. too I'm like can you go up and like get. an honest rep anymore oh that's a good.
question especially Shane I feel like is. the biggest guy in the world right now. yeah I feel like he's. like I don't even know who I would. compare him to he's like the big he's. like Dane Cook yeah at the time when. danne was danne Shane and Dayne Shane. and Dayne buddy cops where they don't do. anything they just get drunk instead and. and Dane just goes come on don't drink. Don't drink don't drink and Shane just. keeps drinking and then they never solve. a crime Dane has a big idea and then. Shane just seems gay raises his eyebrow.
at him he's like all right I won't seems. gay that's hilarious be the best be the. best nothing happens any every single. episode just sit there kind of half. argue we um yeah you need honest rep. there's times where I go up in New York. and it's a big Applause and sometimes I. go up and it's like one guy's like that. and I'm like oh nice okay this is going. to be a real I'll really tell if my. jokes are good this time this is going. to be fair yeah well I think a lot of. the people from the podcast are that you. know that realm or whatever people that.
podcast it's like uh a lot of the. audiences know us yeah they just see us. so much you know going ahead of time. they already know your backstory yeah. they saw so many I me they've seen so. many Clips or for you or things that are. out there you know and a lot of it stuff. that we didn't even make it's like other. channels making it's like you know. like I know there's like Legion of. skanks has like extra channels that are. always just making their and. putting it out yeah yeah and it's it's. great stuff but it's like so then that. just gets so much of it out there yeah I. remember doing one time I was doing when. I was doing that Jew special I would do.
Q&A to like what do you want to know. about Jews and some they' be like what's. the ovon like like no no no no just Jew. questions and then one time in Houston I. was like all right I'm gonna I'm gonna. do this they said something about bird I. was like I was like all right berd did. that whatever and then Tom and I was. doing that and then this black couple. this guy just raising your hand he. raises his hand like Yeah question he. goes who are all those people and I was. like oh right yeah you don't know the. backstory I can't do like that yeah. well black people started podcasting a. lot more last year yeah they just.
figured out how to get. online yeah they couldn't figure out the. password they keep changing their phone. numbers too much it's linked to an old. phone number I could be true yeah. they're like oh this is my aunt's email. account is this your address who's. asking but who's. asking yeah some some guy putting his. his home address or his email address. dude disguises to enter into the. password like I don't know how it works. anyway they finally hired some white Jew. out of college to run it for him now. it's all running right I am I am curious.
about Austin I'm curious cuz last time I. was there just this energy there is a. lot of excitement and the club will be. sold out I mean Joe's Club will be sold. out forever you sold out in seconds yeah. but even you go to some of those other. rooms you go to Red band's room next. door you go to um there's the black cat. or something uhuh black rabbit yeah. black rabbit my problem is also I can't. I can't get any on it I'm I'm a star. there yeah so that's not it's fun it was. like do you remember the Laugh Factory. open. mic yes so laugh Factory open m signing. up for and sitting outside you can only.
do once a month and that's what kept you. in comedy cuz you're like I will kill. and the store open mic was like made you. think about quitting yeah but like it. was so good you need that once in a. while it's just a Victory lap that's how. Austin is for me no matter where I go. everyone like yes I'm like all right I. can't work on anything here it's. probably because you and Rogan have been. been friends for so long you just been. you know some twine with a lot of those. guys and because you've done so much. work yourself but for new Comics you can. get that honest rep there and that's. what's exciting to yeah and I think to.
Joe also he's trying to build a scene. not just a club yeah I think he's doing. it I mean he pushes at the end of every. episode he ask everybody he's like so. you mooving Austin oh yeah he tries so. hard he tries so hard I try to tell him. the reasons why they don't make sense to. him yeah I'm like there's like it's like. an influencer town he's like no you just. get a place 45 minutes away with armed. guards every mile you know it's like. okay that's not going to be my reality. but yeah he had people just shooting on. it tablets it's close they just get. airlifted into the club and get.
airlifted back it's easy man yeah but. it's such a fun time it is fun oh my God. it's a vacation every time you go there. you treated right you fill up your own. drinks that's how every Club should be. I'm an adult I get free drinks why I got. to borrow this B this bartender yeah let. me just make my drinks and people like. doesn't he lose a lot of money they're. like a bottle of it cost $60 right no. like yeah if you're if that if that's. that much of the stress then it's you. guys are having a tough time anyway yeah. um yeah you you make a little money you. you see your friends with nothing to do.
when you're there getting to be in there. um you also you people don't realize you. get to meet whoever Joe had on his show. that day is gonna be at the club that. night there some Congress persons there. like hello anyway we're we're about to. make some Holocaust jokes do you want to. stay in for this or it's on you but he's. like I wrote a couple myself you we're. like I think I could AIDS out of a. chick you're like oh I'm sorry your. honor um maybe let we'll leave. but it does feel energetic there I i'.
I'm seriously considering getting a um. trying to get a little house there. someplace where I could be there more. often because I want to be able to work. on Comedy more I do feel like I get a. real rep for comedy when I'm here. actually interesting if it's not a show. that I put on yeah yeah right right. right then you get up cuz I don't I feel. like la like at least some rep some like. that I might know you but I'm not maybe. I'm not a ticket buyer for theovon right. so you got to win me over a little bit. yeah or maybe I'm not a fan at all right. maybe I don't like you yeah so when me.
over the best was one time it when Lou. came back we saw security footage camera. some chick was there in the side so we. could see her fully behind Louie and she. was like just like mad and then four. minutes in it's Louis CK right so he's. the talent there is is undeniable so. she's mad after about four minutes she. goes and then five minutes later she. like and then by the end she's just. dying laughing she's like yeah maybe. this guy's all right yeah at the end. she's like jerk off in front of me you.
can do it don't ask I'm not into. that she's changing her hold out yeah. dude I I really think yeah who I think. Louie Bill Burr are probably the funny. they might be Lou is the funniest guy. I've ever seen the funniest person I've. ever spoken to he's the most creative I. think and he's always just making jokes. and you put him on a pedestal sometimes. but he's not he's just a schmuck he's. just a MRI a fat blob and like whatever.
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home manscaped has everything you need. to look and feel your best your face. will thank you and so will everyone. else you have a new you have a I want to. make sure we bring you have a new comedy. special coming out yeah it's out it's. out now yeah yeah yeah just come out. America sweetheart nice oh and that's. you that's me that's right. wow so things have changed that's right. in America for sure I'm the nice guy hey. we'll take what we can get you know like. is nobody nicer like nah. um is do you find as you as you've been.
because you've been in comedy for how. long 25 years. wow it's a long time it's more. than. half it's I've been more in comedy than. not in comedy I think I just passed that. do you do you feel like in the beginning. you were just telling jokes like there. was a and now that there's any more. purpose I just wonder like I I try to. look at like do we evolve as comedians. because you hear some people say we. evolve right you hear some people say. their whole goal their whole life is.
just to get up the punchline some people. want to start being philosophical right. do you feel any difference or or notice. anything about um that for yourself yeah. I think it's everybody it's like it's. not even like you do this thing it might. even take off or not take off but then. you're like well I'm a different person. like Sturgill you know sturg Simpson so. he's singing about DMT and mushrooms and. stuff and then the later albums is like. it's about his kids and stuff and. they're like what about the drugs and. he's like I mean I covered it I'm in my. 40s now I don't it's kind of gross to be. talking about like can you believe I got. so whacked out it's like it's kind of.
lame at some point so you have to like. shift and the better you get too you. talk to a tell. who I think but definitely could be the. best it's good point and you see him. dude that joke was so funny goes it was. a simple switch and like he's on such a. higher level that stuff I've been around. for a while that I'm like wow he's like. that was a nothing thing that was an. easy trick I just did yeah and he's so. far above me I can't see. it so yeah everybody evolves a bit and. I've started using my English degree. more. really yeah doing a pretty much my last.
two specials just like a like a fellow. or something no like the five paragraph. essay oh like having a real plan to it. yeah just like here's my thesis here's. my proofs now here's a here's a. wrap-up instead of just a collection of. bits but you know once you get like. pretty good at joke telling then it's. like what what do I want to do on top of. that right so that's what I'm doing with. this I'm trying to get people off the. news yeah is that what it's about more. yeah I'm s like just just get things are. pretty good if you if you're on there.
too much they're going to think it's bad. but it's actually pretty good. yeah I saw a clip where you were with. Harry Mandell he was talking about anti. or I don't you guys talking about. anti-Semitism somebody was yeah and then. how come you can pronounce that well and. not nuclear that's a good question yeah. yeah programming yeah you've come in. contact with one more than. another yeah yeah um and he uh he was so. sure that's that's a horrible time for. Jews yeah and I'm so positive it's not. yeah. yeah I remember he there was one time he.
was oh I think it was when Trump was. running for office and nobody could. understand how I like I was excited that. Trump was running because he was a I was. like if that dude can win then. anybody could could win yeah the way. Obama gave black people hope yeah he. gives Trump gives regular people hope oh. dude I the first time that he won I. remember dropping down the street and. I've never even been a big Trump or I've. never endorsed Trump I I don't think I. voted for him the first time I don't. remember if I voted for him the first. time but. I was like anybody can win and.
like if you're born with a billion. dollars like yeah but you also say. stupid and I'm stupid yeah so that's the. part I'll relate to right yeah you like. that anybody could win that's a part. that was fascinating about it but I. remember how he was scared was like oh. oh when no when they had that Richmond. neonazi that Nazi thing in Richmond. remember years ago oh yeah what was that. it was like those guys that bought those. cheeky torches or whatever yeah no it. wasn't Richmond Charlottesville. Charlottesville Charlottesville yeah you. know who the statue was there no one.
does nobody knows who the statue. was and it was a flash point of. everything was it Steven. Douglas remove the city symbols of the. city's Confederate P they don't even. they don't even know who it is they're. all protesting they don't even the. statue is totally normal oh was. Roberty Lee and Stonewall Jackson two of. them no that's New Orleans isn't it. that's Charlottesville yeah that's. Charlottesville oh yeah had a school. nearby me called robery Lee Junior High. School I wonder if it's still called. that probably changed it probably.
changed it ER rasing history to Bobby Le. um yeah Bobby Le College of dropouts. dude how does Bobby Lee not have an. elementary school named after you gota. you still look kind of like you're in. one you could go undercover Bob just. shave that stupid stash you can go under. cover you look young oh yeah with just. insane Teriyaki lunches every day yeah. just this giant meals you go eat with. Bobby he just like fills up the table. and you're like oh is this for us go oh. no you can order too. Bob Bobby eats like Ralphie May he said.
principle he shows up once a year over. Zoom um you know what I saw the other. day oh I was talking to my uh I was. talking to this kid and he didn't know. what AIDS was dude what yeah he doesn't. know what AIDS is I was like kid I was. like you trying to educate him on I. don't think I'm allowed to tell you but. I was like dude what about AIDS and he's. like AIDS and I was like AIDS you know. the one of the top three things yeah I. mean dude it's like but what is it like.
if kids don't even know about AIDS man. it's gone but that's crazy you got to. talk to gays bro I talked to Matteo. because you can't get it we got a force. field now oh they do prep oh prep drugs. yeah prep so it's like it's like they. just can't get it so it's back to 80s. let's F let's be gay the way gay was. meant to be. yeah let's in the back of the church. let's EV anywhere gays are no.
anywhere huh they just go for it that's. crazy isn't it imagine just a guy trying. to jerk me off in the back of a bus in. Vietnam you did yeah and and the guy was. gay. [Music]. I I don't know what their I. don't know some what their culture is. that's a big sign usually dude they're. starving over there that guy could have. been ordered in.
soup Dude any joke that ends in soup. Jewish people love it for oh I'm. listening it's a little cold I'll eat. half and send it back but I like that. joke I'll eat half that joke and send it. back hold on almost done yeah uh there's. a hair in. here it's the biggest problem just was. going bald they can't send soup. back sorry how you're right that's. hilarious.
dude that's hilarious um what. are we talking about Jesus Christ this. what the president at oh that age that. AG yeah I miss. it it was like a real thing it United. people United Nation AIDS well I. remember yeah they were like at a school. or whatever they made us do like a round. of applause for HIV or whatever it was. it was like something like some some uh. thing they had our school it was like. clap for AIDS or whatever I was like.
clap for it people you would clap it was. like somebody would clap as long as they. could to raise money for Aid like one of. those things like do it as long as you. can like a um AIDS Aon or whatever okay. and it was like I just remember being in. this gym and people just CL it was like. somebody had to keep clapping so you had. to tag in somebody else to clap and then. if you got to a certain number of hours. then you rais a certain amount of money. wow turns out they never got the Cure. they just got a pretty much a vaccine. you did it. [Laughter]. dude that's not.
funny but when you're here everything's. funny dude oh what is this right there. oh an unfortunate product name a y DS. AIDS I was overweight look Terri help me. lose 46 lbs the AIDS diet plan helped me. lose 28 lbs AIDS helps control your. appetite so you lose weight yet AIDS. lets you taste chew and enjoy and the. appetite suppressing in AIDS is not a. stimulant AIDS helped me to lose 18 lb. and it doesn't contain anything to make. make me nervous question why take diet.
pills when you can enjoy AIDS AIDS helps. you lose weight without making. youit crazy dude the term enjoy AIDS and. people are like where did AIDS start. form that's wild I mean that. that's what's that new drug that makes. you lose weight oh zic o zic That's that. they just rebranded Aid zema did it they. went to truly and whiteclaw they smart. they did huh I forgot zema was just an. early White claw zema gives me what. happened there gives me hope for society.
because you're within a 10 15 year age. of me you remember zema oh yeah and it. was like it's like there's a cooler. stuff and you reach for zema people like. you sure you want to do that in front of. people yeah going to be called Gay for a. long time and you're like okay I won't. we went away and then truly or white. Club whichever the first one came back. and know we all kind of made a deal like. let's not call each other gay let's just. drink this yeah and we all were cool. about it and just. yeah it's nobody calls the other. person gay we can enjoy this do this.
don't be the first one to take that shot. in the. revolution dude Zemo was kind of zema. was one of a kind because it had the. bottles and it kind of it was a malt. liquor you you kind of had it had a malt. liquor idea to it but it was was it. lemon flavored Citrus yep oh wow yeah a. touch of citrus look at the Jolly. Ranchers nearby it yeah put a jolly is. it out can you still buy. zemas is the I ke still available you. can't find Z anywhere there though it is.
sold in Japan I'm going to Japan are you. I'm in now Z it's a weird reason to go. they got a lot of unique stuff over. there yeah oh what did I see the other. day in China there was a did you see. this Jackson Hole the city in China that. they built Jackson Hole they when I was. there they just built a city really suo. wanted to build his district so they. just like do it no no. bureaucracy make it happen just build it. it was up in 6 months 2. skyscrapers no waiting no.
codes look at this place this guy. built I visited China's $170 Million. Little America replica town it's a town. of Jackson. Hole wow that's just that's suburbs yeah. so it made of Jack it just looks like. America this guy went to visit. it was George from to sleep in and. everything in it is uh Wyoming. yeah what who who does this how can you.
do. this that's wild they buildt a few of. these how big is that town who's. building it China who's what do you just. to just to bring new people in Old. churches I think rich people it looks. like yeah what is it can you give me. some information on it so you can live. in China but be in America yeah be in. America property. taxes Jackson old China is a resort town. on the border between hu huai County.
janga wedged between Tai taihong and Yan. mountain ranges in architecture is. designed by the to Jackson Wyoming can. is it ski in there um damn I don't know. let us see some of that information. Cowboy Bar the Thousand single Home. Development used stock Western Home. Plans from an architect in. Oregon um adding designs reminiscent of. Billy of the kid gono stage Coast. station Big Bear Etc. um cud antler chandeliers saddle.
blankets all this stuff Wagon Wheels. Navajo Rugs iron light fixtures Wildlife. scene fireplace screens this is a whole. place that's there uh the project was. completed in 2009 Lu yangyang the. developer young of the community said. his selling point was more than. architecture his buyers wanted freedom. and spirituality so he built a Christian. church and the center of the community. for residents um according to Smith the. properties have sold out any other. tripled in value since being built as. the first model was put up in Beijing.
park for display people apparently went. nuts for it D I should have invested in. Chinese Chinese uh real estate I know. damn I invested in. Palisades wow that's pretty cool yeah. replica Town that's like Saudi just. interesting and they they have a few of. them I think there's China made to be. like Venice the canals yep replic of. Paris London and Jackson hle Wyoming. just. interesting what wait where wait wait up. right there hold on that's in China they.
have an Eiffel Tower in China oh yeah. they do it all cuz they're like we have. so much land we have so many Expendable. Souls that we can use to do construction. yeah why not just build it here that we. don't have to go somewhere dude I have a. map in my studio for my travel podcast. and it's in China you see all the the. cities on the on the right side of it. and then as it goes left there's just. nothing there's an occasional dot of a. city and I'm like what's all this yeah. and I I think I should looked it up by. now but what's out there yeah like what.
the fu what's in central China it's a. good question there just no reports from. there is that where they're keeping all. the people who talk back what's in. central China I saw some Korean people. yesterday they teach people to butt on. the subway before you get a chance to. get off is that what they do yeah they. do they don't understand though like we. get off first then you get on oh they. get off first they just get on they just. push on elevators too like let me get. out first oh they say it's up to you. yeah it's like you didn't go for it um. what else is cracking man what's.
cracking in the world yeah what do you. think of everything what makes you. hopeful well I gu time of negativity. what makes you hopeful do you think feel. things are feeling negative right now it. it seems like they're pushing you to be. negative but I don't think you have to. be yeah so if you Center on something. it's like well I like this new Austin. scene's pretty cool we never had a a. third real scene in that's a good point. yeah that's nice and at first I didn't. think I was like oh it will never really. be able to compete but as I've gone back. to I feel like may it is I don't think. it has to compete that's the problem too. you get into that where it's like I come.
to La I spent a little time hating it. the way I hated religion for a while. when I left and now I'm like it's cool. now I go back to LA I'm like oh yeah I'm. gonna get some burritos G to see some. friends this is great yeah yeah it's. just a great new extra. thing you know yeah it's like it's not. like which one's better it's like well. we don't have to live there yeah he's. always like you got to move here yeah. chill but it is cool though the bars are. cool The Honky talks away from where he. built that club is still cool yeah six. street is a violent atmosphere of people. vomiting on one another it always was.
and then they put horses just there's a. horse comes by every 40 minutes and just. shits everywhere just like let's. add this to the mix let's add it let's. up it now you know all this violence and. like people are ready to go and barf and. puke and like and drunkenness let's add. a horeshit and then sit back and watch. from a safe distance to top of. stallion yeah there's just occasionally. people there just hores out. there and one of the horses they said. was an undercover cop I'm like who gives.
a I'm like who's going to let a. horse bust them who goes up to a horse. like you want to smoke with. me he's like you're under. wrist look at this chick look at don't. move what the are you wearing lady. God have some class when the skirt's so. short I can smell your thoughts you know. I remember going there before it got. like kind of methy MH and uh saw some UT.
guys walking along just you know it's. like who we used to hang with. tangentially just like tough frat guys. and they pass some chick overweight. chick and she goes they're drunk and she. goes you're fat and I was. like dude that's how it always was. that's six Street all no one in Austin. goes to Sixth Street yeah once a year. for a lark nobody real goes there nobody. who wants to go do something fun at. least Broad way in Nashville is based on. something it's based on the old Honky.
Tonk area there's only one or two left. but it's based on something so it comes. from a place six Street in Austin it's. just it's based on nothing yeah it's got. a Darkness to it yeah it definitely. seems it seems kind of spooky about. there it seems like people that are just. there to get drunk it kind of has more. of a Bourbon Street kind of vibe to me. oh yeah maybe yeah and also you in this. like beautiful place at Rogan's club and. you're like ah a it's like a casino no. lights no anything so you're like I'm. God I'll see you guys later yeah what.
then a Rick Shaw Comes by yeah guys like. you guys want to get in it's only $50. for some AIDS and you're like whoa who. we just want to go two blocks he'll be. like I'll get you AIDS by then I'll for. sure Maids for you out here what's this. from um that's a that's an Aztec death. whistle the corner we had on Toby gave. it to us if it's if you blow it full it. sounds like a woman screaming for death. does it a. warning wow it sure does I've heard a.
few of those in real. life keep screaming no one's. here yeah I was with Gabby petito and. Brian laundry when it happened really. but I didn't Le any dumb fingerprints. like Brian did. oh that's what she sounded oh the. darkness Gabby rest in peace the. darkness continues do you think there. will ever be um I believe there will be. a time when people will live forever and. people will not and I believe that kids. right now that are 15 and under they're.
going to live forever forever like. they'll have a chance to live forever oh. like they might get the the drug yeah. but there's going to be this weird thing. where there's going to be like hey can I. get it like n you're you're too old yeah. so like am I just going to age out like. yeah it's been nice knowing you I'll. keep in touch with you for a few years. but then you're going to get. old yeah but they're going to be like oh. you're going to die but people are going. to be like dude your dad died what a. loser was he poor yeah yeah oh. man you guys must have been so poor your.
dad died of natural causes that's so. retro oh God he was a real here's my. pushing your. dad loser you should have worked. harder. Bro Look at Timmy's. dad dude that's but that's what's going. to happen I think there's going to be a. cut off and the government will probably. say this is the cut off there will be. some bad drugs that will come out of. people trying to like get the actual. drug yeah some knockoff or it'll be a. chip or something that you get and then. slow down all Aging in your at the.
cellular level I'm in let's do it but. then there's going to be so many people. who are KN and there's going to be less. jobs probably so it's going to be it's. it's going to turn very dystopian would. you take it if they had it right now. it's been tested it's. safe would you here are the options take. it right now wait a few years and decide. and see how it shakes out or not take. it so you have to pick really like they. give you one week to decide yeah. and or what well this won't be for you. as much but for me it may be for you too.
it's like you can either take this live. forever drug or perfectly workable hair. transplants full head of hair back to. Mohawk back to what everything I always. wanted I might go with a hair so hair. now or live forever yeah cuz then I got. to live. forever with with that I think bald's. cool now. Baler I in spread it you've got. influence spread that people a lot of. people are being bald and loving it now.
really there's bald women I saw a bunch. of bald uh there fat people who love it. too really yeah and we know what we know. they're lying to themselves is that a. bigger thing being bald yeah big and. beautiful or big and bald there's it's. like bald and tall is that a shop bald. and Tall big and big and tall big and. tall dude bald bald and Tall bro bald. and tall is a crazy look you burn. yourself in the sun too. much bald and tall is a crazy look yeah. um yeah what do you think about Kanye.
being back on Twitter oh you Tred to use. your song right for his for the intro to. your yeah new special yeah I had this. whole big piece about how great he is. that's another thing focus on the. positive that's the whole message it's. like and then like everyone's like Kanye. is crazy I'm like he rules the music. yeah just the music what what is she. writing about anything other than music. right to come at Kanye it's like yeah if. you're going if you're trying to get. other stuff out of him he he probably. shouldn't be your Lea on into like. anything except maybe creativity and.
music yeah exactly it's like going to. Brook CR for weight loss tips. yeah or coming to comedians for. political ideas oh yeah that's another. one I heard some said this about the. fires what they're not firemen what the. they're just they're just like at a. bar talking yeah that's it's crazy I. know you go to Kanye for anything other. than music you're nuts because he's not. just okay at the music part he's great. at it yeah so I tried to get one of his. songs black skin head for my uh for my. credits I was going up to the whole tour. because I was talking about Kanye a.
lot and uh Christine oakerson big Jay's. chick was like Hey I know he's like. popping off like whatever have you heard. black skin head and I was like No And I. like I was like oh my God his anti. sensor got me into this song and I. played it the whole tour and I. was like let me try to get this for the. credits and I wrote them I was like. listen I can't afford it right so I'm. like hey I'm appealing to them. creatively and I was like hey I have. this whole big piece of how Kanye is. really great and how people have lost. focus on what's important and I want to. like close. with a song with black K was one of his. most killer songs and I think kind of an.
underrated song to be honest and uh they. go I hope you're not referring to him as. Kanye he goes by yay now and it's like. yeah I'm never going to his whole. staff is crazy too it's like yeah just. the fact that that was their first reply. you're like I like oh I got no chance I. have no chance yeah I wonder what his. mind is like I mean a lot of his his mom. died give him some sympathy yeah. did you uh you think you'll have any. children or what do you think no I had.
bisectomy you did yeah no way yeah I was. Taking Chances you were too many chances. so you actually trying to have a child. no what is that what you oh sorry what. are you saying then no I was just. pulling out late oh you were yeah I. don't understand how people do that like. how do you I know a lot of black guys. like to just do do the nut or whatever I. mean the nut is great I know why they. want yeah the nut's Great. yeah but it's also a great outside of it. it's less great is it what do you mean.
is it I've never done. it yes you have I've never ejaculated. inside of a. woman in my life then you haven't lived. really but it's all this is a facade. buddy just get what you need to get none. of this is real we never said we had. done it no but I mean this all this is. like a you're just like buying. time so you can get a p this is all just. because you've never PUD really you got. a nut inside buddy what do you mean. you've never done it what do you mean. you've never pied inside of a woman I.
never have in my life swear to God you. though yeah yeah yeah oh yeah what what. but every time I do I do the what do she. like I'm on the pill oh that's I I don't. I barely know. her so I'm not believing that yeah yeah. yeah you know how many chicks I F this. said they couldn't get pregnant that I. later found out got pregnant from. somebody really and I was like wait you. said I I was blowing Lo in you I'm like. Oh I thought I couldn't based on what oh. you're in there just like fing like one.
of the Ghostbusters just throwing. ectoplasm in there the walls I was a. salad for some other guy's steak Yeah. I've never done that in my life man but. well let me recommend something to. you I'm G end up being a father people. are always getting I I don't want to be. in a lawsuit or something find some old. chick find some postm apos chick get to. me more I want to get a I want to get a. regular white that likes the last of the. Golden Girls died it's too late for that. but yeah Estelle Getty no maybe Estelle.
gy. Museum no was her name sure who was the. last stelle Getty was so she she was old. when it started right she was the looker. rumac clanahan was the one that. everybody my dad kind of had hots for. but the youngest of the one yeah. blanch Deo God what a great series hot. take Golden Girls is just sex in the. city they're both written by gay men. about gay culture and this one they made. old women play it and the other one they.
made horse-faced chicks play. it do you think they will cure um do you. think that being gay will be something. that will be Eternal or one day that. that will be hacked or something do we. can cure it or that would be hacked you. know that they'll be able to hack the. genetics so if if you were a scientist. working on the cure for for gay and you. were like halfway there you lost a lot. of funding. recently oh it's probably they're. probably like we're not paying we don't. want it.
anymore you don't think there a small. segment of the population like we got to. cure this everyone else is just like who. cares oh I think most people are like. who cares but I just mean not maybe cure. is not the right word right do you think. that they would do you think that. they'll ever a vaccine vaccine yeah so. you won't ever get it in the first place. right get a kid when he's two didn't. they say vaccines made kids gay wasn't. that a rumor for a while I don't know. we're going to find out soon if Bobby. Kennedy gets in there. yeah so say no gay kids after a while. like I ended vaccines who knows so all.
the stuff he says people like that's. ridiculous I'm like really I don't even. know the words he's using yeah it seems. he's smarter than me I don't know I. know the Earth is round the I'm just. guessing the latest viral covid-19. conspiracy theory boosted by Q andon. falsely claims vaccines turn children. gay or trans wow I didn't know that and. that's a false allegation that. covid-19 yeah I mean that's a lot of. kids I will say seem very gay though do. you notice that like if you talk to like.
a they're post-gender is it yeah they. don't care the dad a man can wear a. dress like you crossdressing they're. like what when I grew up you couldn't. wear pink as a dude you'd be ostracized. now you like there's no there's no gay. color that's we're past that so those. kids are past that they're wearing. top hats and skirts it doesn't matter it. just doesn't matter okay yeah so yeah we. see them as gay but they're like oh dude. we're not even using those terms yeah. you're from a different universe that's. why you go to Bushwick or something and. you're like oh this is The Cutting Edge. kids there was um I've heard rumors that.
a lot of Haitians moved over there in. there to the parks and stuff when we're. selling sex and stuff like that have you. seen any of that over there hookers in. Bushwick yeah in the Parks over there. selling their bodies yeah they were. selling uh sex and oral sex over there. um I mean Haitian that's not who you'd. want I mean who you want is you want I. guess it's the I don't know what the. pace of the rate is there just a bunch. of dark black very thin. hookers I'll check it out I haven't.
heard anything about that yeah one of my. friends just tell me there's a lot of. hooker going on over there and some of. haian hooking I think they said Haitian. I would have to ask them you know what. there is though for real for real casual. hooking really like chicks who do it. like three times a. year Housewives regular chicks who like. for a little extra cash I'll like what. do you mean I mean like oh your friend. seems cute it's like hey my friend's. cute she likes you would you be into it. for like a couple hundred bucks you're. like oh. no in New York yeah huh regular chicks.
just occasionally like yeah I'll. for money the guy seems cool they're not. going to like on the street taking all. callers right but like occasionally for. extra cash instead of driving Uber do. they tell the husband I don't think. so possibly I don't know everybody a. situation would you is there's the thing. where people let think the Obamas are. still together for real it's a great. question you think the clintons are no. no right so it's a possibility that. they're that there are such thing as. sham marriages yeah for sure I wonder.
she didn't show up to the Carter. inaugura the funeral she didn't show up. to the inauguration I could see like hey. I never wanted to be in the public lie. like this yeah I just wanted to ball. yeah I just wanted to dunk on these. yeah that's it yeah that could. be it you know yeah yeah I wonder that. it's a good question that whole. inauguration thing was just such a game. I had so yeah I had total Game of. Thrones energy over there what did you. cuz that's not you oh not at all you. were going there the way go to Comic Con. yeah I'll just stare at everybody that. was ridiculous I don't know what's.
Spider-Man oh I was like I should not be. here you should not be there that's how. I felt at least you're not doing the. endorsing thing yeah that a lot of. comics are doing I thought we were. supposed to just make fun of everyone in. power do you feel like it was weird that. people were endorsing endorsing what. who's endorsing yeah what the are. you talking about you have a a literal. sports team you root for you don't. endorse Tottenham yeah like it was so. wild but all right he's in power now so. let's see every already go after him. well I think a lot of people were.
endorsing just make fun of all of them. yeah it it it it it seemed weird well I. think the biggest thing that seemed like. has been on the table for me is just the. Free Speech stuff you start to worry. about like a lot of these social media. companies limiting speech limiting. what's possible me for sure yeah for. sure so if somebody's like hey I want to. do this like great I love it you know I. also loved when Trump gave us all 600. bucks during the pandemic it got. everybody really partying in New York. love that. um do you worry about yeah but but I'm. not going to get involved in getting it.
there but then some of these guys have a. lot of influence to be honest but also. like how can you have this guy on your. podcast I'm like well I'll have. everybody on I had talk to Carlson on my. podcast the travel one we just talk. about travel people like why don't you. call him on his I'm like was he. lying about the UAE that's all I care. about right the travel part I I don't. want get involved in this but so I get. that part of it like somebody seems. interesting a former president I'll have. him on a podcast oh in a heartbeat yeah. people gave me GRE for going to the um. inauguration inauguration I was like. dude you don't but if you got invited to.
the to the I don't know bush. inauguration or the Obama one or the. Reagan one you would have gone yeah I. would have gone it's like oh I'm not. political I got invited to the. presidential inauguration how am I not. going to go to inauguration I have no. idea what if it's not even real and. there's video they're just it's it's the. moon landing who knows you know so I. went and at least saw like okay so what. was that right what was everybody doing. did it feel like powerful did it feel. like these guys are deciding. Fates or or was it just like the Oscars. where they're all like glad handing each. other and celebrating success I guess I.
didn't get to be there long enough was. there food there was the at the ball the. food wasn't G no was not. good that broke my heart I what. do you mean Tony was there he's like we. did it and I'm like the food isn't good. Tony we didn't we still have room what. do you mean the food wasn't good it. wasn't that good and then only had like. 30 chairs in this whole ballroom and. there was probably 1,500 people in 30. chairs that's like my house I have four. chairs and I have eight people over it's.
like we're sitting on we're sitting on. Amazon boxes so that was the HEC that. was the most hectic part but yeah just. to be there to be in Washington DC to. see that happen for sure I was like. you I'm going I would never be weird I. would never think it was weird if. anybody you there no but pull those. people back up so this was the part that. was fascinating to me these were this. was these are the guys deciding our. Fates who's the brown in the middle this. is the allarie right here Sunder Pai. from Google so he owns Google. so these guys all decide how we think. about the world these one two three one.
guys the chick I'm assuming is clean the. other one yeah there's Zuckerberg yeah. Zuckerberg's the most evil of all of. them you think yeah cuz at I think he. was like cigarettes where they didn't. know what they were doing and then when. they found out so there no problem. they're just giving cigarett they didn't. know what caused can then they found out. it caused cancer and they go hide that. right Zuckerberg at first like I. don't know I just I'm too autistic to. have interaction so I want to see a. world where we don't have to meet I die. and now he know true yeah he he made us.
live like autistic. people but then he found out that we're. all turning on each other and. cutting off our uncles and he goes yeah. keep pushing it I think he should be up. wow I think he should at least be T his. company taken away from him and and it. should be shut down Facebook and. Instagram should be shut down push the. button well it's like it's not making. our society better well I agree with. that but say I'll say that type of thing. people will be like well a government. can't decide what can what can and can't. make their society better right I think. they can I think that it might be abuse.
but at some point it's like this is too. much bad right well I feel the same way. about porn about porn channels you know. yeah or like let's have some oversight. oh yeah porn too it's like it's non-stop. like you can't like push porn to kids. right they have to stop making uh THC. gummies that are in the shape of clowns. cuz they're like hey we're not actually. giving these to 5-year-olds and you're. kind of marketing to 5-year-olds yeah. they had to stop putting Steve Simone. was eating all of them too I think. yeah this is a Simone love you buddy. they had to uh yeah there he goes look. he's always smiling I know huh where are.
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order fulfillment with the shipping. software that delivers switch to. shipstation today go to shipstation.com. and use code Theo to sign up for your. free trial that's. shipstation.com code Theo yeah I think. it's like really bad and that you're. doing you can't just put in like. additives into baby baby formula. but why do we keep doing why do we keep. building stuff that's bad for and like. but if people say well if your.
government says you can't then that's. like a it's a form of Communism right. like your government says you can have. this and you can't have it because we. shouldn't have I mean we just had a. woman on we're talking about PornHub and. um extremely high percentage of their. content was totally unregulated so they. had uh on there they had unconsented sex. they had sex with miners they had sex. with on there on PornHub on the website. but their whole goal was just to have as. much content as they could have because. then they sell more advertising dolls. like we have this many URLs we have this.
many links that people can go to so. they're selling in bulk but they didn't. have anybody or they had very few people. moderating any of the content that came. through yeah so we have some laws right. you can't blast music at at parks right. CU like oh this kind of infringing on. other people's like rights sort of here. you know privacy it's quiet so there's. some regulation I don't understand all. this I don't know what the line is from. Socialism or not I don't get any of that. it's not my it's not my thing I just. know like this is really hurting us as a. society and nobody's doing anything. about it you can't sell guns on a street.
corner just to anybody right and it's. like well if it was bad for you you. wouldn't do it like nah you need someone. to step in like that's not as a society. like that's not allowed you're making us. hate our brothers and friends and. yeah see the world as a terrible place. we didn't sign up for that I don't I. don't like it Twitter does that a lot I. noticed Twitter definitely can be a. place where you can really get trapped. in there do you notice that Nick you. think yeah wake up at in the morning and. just piss myself off by reading all the. yeah start angry it's not a good way to.
start right you've been in the beach. when you start like Pleasant you know. it's a better feeling when you're at the. beach than you're on Twitter showing you. what's to be mad about yeah oh there was. a guy who used to work in Google to see. which of the things had to go to the. dark web and which were allowed so his. whole day was spent looking at snuff. films and car crashes and and. like child endangerment stuff like that. every one of those guys had to go to. therapy for the rest of their lives yeah. cuz you're not supposed to see see that. stuff and we're seeing like versions of. that I hate it I hate it god let's let's.
Mark. Zuckerberg I I mean I I I mean I don't. think we should do I don't know what we. should do let Luigi but is it just him. though like it's musk too it's anybody. who now knows what you're doing to. society and you're not doing anything. about it you actually have the power to. stop it and you're not doing it right so. like off well that's the same thing. that I notic with this woman talking. about with PornHub it was like they. would bring up these cases there were. cases of people who had been raped and. their footage uploaded right oh my God. and you can't just go what it's an open.
source thing like no no you're. facilitating it right right that's the. thing people were like well we and they. at one point she said they only had one. moderator who would spend and something. had to be flagged like 15 times before. even comes into before he even comes. into the moderation already over. and the moderation queue would be like. hundreds of thousands of videos long. that they have to sit there and then. it's just one person deciding yeah adult. not adult consensual not consensual the. problem is you start with like they need. to have some oversight they're going to. go too far yeah and they're going to. make like well this joke they had about. who's on top we can't have that that's. not our society wants that you're like.
that's too far and I don't know what it. is you can't trust the government to. regulate I I don't know what the answer. is but right now it ain't. working well and then you wonder or is. is so is Human Society supposed to have. this success story or is it. a unsuccessful experiment or is it just. it's like Pharmaceuticals had to be. regulated you can't just give everyone. side effects you have to like you have. to show your side effects and it barely. is right but you have to show your side.
effects you have to. go at the end yeah yeah you have to at. least do something but then it's like I. think people have lost total faith that. that their country is going to do a lot. they're not gonna do they're not. going to do right they're just. going to let it go you go to another. country you eat like garbage for for a. week and you lose seven pounds you're. like how's this oh there not that many. chemicals in other countries and. right but I think like I mean we talk. about it a lot on here like with the. Sackler family the company that made all. the drugs and they oh god damn and. they're still still alive and they're.
still pushing it to people you should do. oxy you should get on oxy for pain and. my dad had to get on something don't. take that take aprof don't take you. can't if you get cooked on it you can't. kick it yeah there's still selling. oxycon oh yeah they're still put doctors. are still pushing it they're. incentivized too financially how who's. even making money out is it just to go. back to pay for like to for victims yeah. they oh they they're not paying those. bills those fines they're not paying. those really yeah same thing with pg&. all the forest fires half of them were.
caused by pg& not doing the safety. measures look at how many forest fires. in California are started by the. utilities hold on let's get this really. quick um Purdue Pharma Sackler families. boost contribution and opioid settlement. to 7.4 billion the company and the once. prominent Family behind the drug. oxycoton agreed there to increase their. financial contribution to resolve Mass. opioid litigation the saers and pu. farmer boosted their settlement contrib. rtion of 7.4 billion if approved the new. plan would end the costliest corporate. bankruptcy resulting from the US opioid.
crisis so that's to pay 7.4 billion over. the next 15 years how much they make a. year go back this is the same thing as. like uh scroll. scroll under the new settlement the. terms of sackers control of produ Pharma. inss the 7.4 to give up the company will. go directly to communities across the us. including States counties cities and. territories over the next 15 years well. that's good that's good but even this. headline is like oh they decided to. boost their contribution to the lawsuit. even though they killed hundreds of.
thousands of people yeah all the gulf. all the Gul like oil spills they paid. this big fine it was still less money. than it would have been to do the safety. measures right so they're like it seems. like a big number but not compared to. what they're. making you know there was a time when if. I got a parking ticket it would break me. oh yeah and now I've seen like rich. people like I'll park here it's like a. little Park like I'll just it's fine. I'll just park here yeah it's fine if. somebody takes a car I'll just buy a new. car you're like yeah Chris Rock You said. instead of pulling into the lot which. park in front and they're like they. might give you a ticket he goes I don't. care yeah it's $80 and I'm a millionaire.
he doesn't care dang it's not going to. it's not going to De incentivize him. yeah I mean it just oh look at this so. this is a wildfire is caed by power. lines okay so why are we looking at this. Camp I'm saying like they're they're. supposed to worry about safety measures. they don't we fine them they don't pay. the. fines look at all those fires caused by. that and then they just don't do. anything because they know what are you. going to do do not use us you could all. be like in the dark for years. yeah what are you use a candle hundreds.
of forest fires maybe thousands by pg& E. and they won't do so that's the. government's not doing it's like. why you even pay attention to any of it. yeah what are you going to be you're. just going to use Yankee Candles all day. dude some of the candle smells. have gotten crazy it's really up in it. that's what makes you hopeful the candle. game is it's it's barn on the shapes and. everything I saw a candle dick in. Wasington at Park really and they lit it. up yeah no you can oh but yeah I don't. know what the smell is I never lit it up.
I have one though in my house I'm good. yeah they have somebody of a guy trying. to smoke his own dick or whatever he's. laying on his back pulled his nut like. brought his legs over his head tried to. put his penis in his mouth and tried to. light his nuts like he was like in a. bowl of weed how do he do huh how do he. do the video cuts off. early but just unreal Behavior yeah you. know what I'm saying that's one vote for. Trump right there did you get to say. anything to him like you should take. care of this huh Trump yeah I always. have this dream like there's an outside. possibility I can run into him you know.
oh yeah it's an outside possibility and. I'm like if if we all get to be like hey. I just want two things to do what would. you hit him with two things to do in the. world yeah in America anything I would. say sentence the I would probably say. sentence the sacular family to death I. think I like it that would be probably. my favorite thing but and that would put. other people like I mean you grew up in. a town that's that's by this well. yeah most most of America I mean just. the AA rooms alone you see so many more. people that aren't alcoholics they're op.
they're they're opioid addict from Pain. Relief straight to heroin and it's a. different thing it's like the AA program. helps them but it does it's not the same. it's like these people their database. has been compromised and altered they're. they're I don't know if can opioids. affect your genetic makeup over time can. they alter loose teeth your DNA yeah. they can definitely alter your. your grill is affective. you're. grin but yeah yes opioids can alter DNA.
which may contribute to opioid use. disorder these changes so then you're. not even talking to a human then you're. dealing with someone who's been. compromised by a drug yeah yeah they're. not they're not people anymore and why. is this not being talked about all the. time every city in America I don't know. Democrat and Republican are failing. under this and no one's doing about. it well that's not even what I tell them. at least they stopped them from doing it. but now they just have they have another. new anti what's that there's a new opio. just saw that they were putting up but. pravis pro pro you think they just. rebranded and came back like a college.
bar that gets busted for underage and. they go it's a new name now it's my. brother runs it it's a different. company oh that's the best dud bro when. I was in college they had this group of. gay fellas that would come and they'd. fist fight it was called um I've said it. before we'll beep we'll beep this part. but it's called fist fights right and. there was their company they came it was. gay men would come you pay five bucks go. there you get a beer and you get to. watch fights and they would beat the. living out of each other dude wow. pretty cool in Texas they have a bunch.
of wrestling they yeah and it's. just like signs for it it's not like a. hidden back back back room thing yeah. it's a fighting of the wonder who. would uh have ever been to a fight. no but there is verse Co verse uh. rooster or whatever oh right near the B. vers gay we got to make odds on. all these things three midgets two gays. you know what's the like over under. three Midas versus two gays and then. what kind of gays are we talking about. is it like luck of the draw yeah are you.
talking Ariana Grande fans or are you. talking right like hardcore good Mato. can take somebody oh he's strong he's. very strong yeah but can he fight and. can he fight. down I bet he could you gota be able to. overcut I think he auditioned for. Newsies and got pretty far so I bet he. could dude don't pick that fight you're. ain't going to win that oh yeah he ain't. going to win in this. is that um Carlos man why does. he dress like Carlos man is that crazy.
to say that looks a little like Shane in. the face he's dressed like Mania and. he's got a face like Shane Shane Gillis. yeah how can you even see that's in. eight pixels when he turns let me see. when he turns pause it when he turns if. we see his face there that's Shane bro. that's Shane bro that's Shane bro he's. one of my friends that's Shane tell me. it's not. okay. okay look that chicken for five that's a.
new commercial right. there. yeah that's. him wow that's great dud I wear an. eagle's hat that is so. great oh that's great what uh what we. just talking oh but what's the new drug. you see it Nick this is a nonopioid that. was just yeah there we go FDA proof. nonopioid treatment for moderate severe. acupan yeah that's what they need yeah. this just happened gavic J R na a VX is.
the first drug to be approved in this. new class of pain management medicines. uh 50 milligram oral tablets a first. in-class nonopioid analgesic to treat. moderate to severe acute pain in adults. but wouldn't you just get addicted using. this but does that mean you non opioid. maybe it's not addictive that's what I'm. wondering do you not feel melatonin you. know what helps you go to sleep not. melatonin melatonin yeah but like. sleeping pills would become addictive. melatonin is like it just it's fine so. there's not opioids in here what the.
an opioid too targeting a pain. singly pack so unlike opioids which act. on receptors in the brain gavic works by. targeting a pain signaling pathway. involving sodium channels in the. peripheral nervous system a lot of words. I didn't know in that yeah blocking pain. signals before they reach the brain so. it's stopping the signals instead of The. receptors in the brain oh this is like. difference between lime wire and Napster. yeah it's like pretty much the same but. it works different yeah that's a good.
that's a good comparison thanks evidence. of non-addictive properties clinical. data showed no evidence of withdrawal or. drug-seeking behaviors in patients. that's it right the drug does not. activate opioid receptors or induce. Euphoria oh well they said the thing. with oxycodone oxy whatever was that. they were like well what about getting. off it like we haven't seen any any. problem with that and they go did you. test for that and they go no or not and. so it's like how do you know how hard is. to withdraw you've never tested it.
meanwhile people are just. sleeping in baby beds and. adults those lean backs are. crazy right now opioids are a class of. drugs that interact with opioid. receptors in the brain and body to. reduce pain perception and produce. various effects they can be natural. semisynthetic or synthetic. chemicals there you go well I don't know. but yeah they got to do something that's. a good one to tell them yeah ecklers CU. once you them the rest like let's let's. get approval for this first yeah people. will start to I think be a little bit.
unnoticed there will be some sort of. yeah cuz they're serial killers I don't. understand how they were not they're. serial killers they're Mass murderers. and they go well it's a company yeah you. know what they did in China they had um. they were testing the for Purity for. baby formula and so one company like put. an additive in to make it test pure to. go from like 96 to 99 but that additive. ended up killing 12 babies oh yeah. and the government found out there's no. bureaucracy there they hung the board.
wow the whole board and like no the. company has it goes no you guys killed. babies is that true. yeah so it's like we're done with. this yeah I want to see that they're. just hung him you can't just do you. can't break the law and kill babies. you're out you're out and hopefully this. will be a sign to everybody else well. yeah there's enough Chinese they might. not have been the ones they might have. been different ones come on Theo. I'll say this if you show me 40 Chinese. dude I don't know how I'd feel you know.
you just the same one over and over. again be honest well it's kind of like. this one time this lady paid us to go. get her cat in her yard or whatever and. she was very old and she would give us. like I think a quarter for each cat that. we brought in yeah and me and my buddy. William just kept bringing the same two. cats in over and over again when. I had to G up my Visa to play China I. went in there and they're like what are. you doing there I was like I'm working I. got gigs and like you're working where's. your Letter of Invitation from the. government where's your $50,000 you know. and I'm like uh I don't know it's like.
early when you go to China you have I. mean Canada you have to tell them you're. just visiting a friend yeah it was that. too I didn't realize so I called the. promoters I like what do I do they go go. back only Bieber can afford the proper. channels to play China go back in there. tell them you're just there to see the. great wall and I'm like but I was just. in there and he goes so you know how we. can't tell them apart it's a two-way. street no yeah just go right try not to. go to that window but if you do it will. matter. and I got called in that window she goes. hi how you doing I thought she was. with me I'm like here to do some.
traveling in China she okay that was it. damn D you did you go with the same. group that I went with did you go to I. didn't go with that leag guy I went with. Turner Sparks and Andy cartain man was. different group I think that was one of. the best things about doing comedy man. was just the places you got to go you. couldn't afford it no and and you would. you just never would have been able to. do it and if slew you to sujo. China Guang Chi and all these places you. like dick jokes are paying for this yeah.
it it was wild and you meet the local. scenes I'm like there's a comedy scene. in Hong Kong that was the best it was so. cool Iceland you're going to Australia. there weird spots yeah we went to one. right there that's guantan Mo Bay with. Mike um that's in Cuba yeah who's that. guy on the right. guy Jewish guy too Mike E no. smoothie Mike B. um Mike Co is that Mike Costa with this.
Patrick degear oh that's Costa yeah. looks like Costa Patrick degear Mike. Costa who Patrick dear the blind one oh. yeah Patrick degear yeah he's blind. where's that's you on the left yeah. damnn I had good hair look how angry. your hair is yeah man and that kid. nevered inside a chick never what an. idiot. that's that's a that was his time bro he. in his shampoo you never wle you never. won a title in your Prime yeah.
wow I was young as damn. I was doing good look like Dane cooked. there yeah bro Dane and Shan get that. off the ground come on NBC make her come. back so you went so you just went all. over look at that that's the guantan bay. Lighthouse behind you went to Guantanamo. Bay isn't it so cool you can go. out places like that crazy went to the a. dude Guantanamo Bay I didn't realize. first of all uh nice golf courses there. underrated you'd never know it we got to.
see the prisoners play some volleyball. wow really you playing your jeans and no. shirt like in Top Gun no they wouldn't. let us get that close to them or. whatever and some of them had blindfolds. on what but they were still playing. unbelievable just to do like to get out. in the yard or whatever and have a oh. the prisoners yeah oh yeah they had. these um they could play volleyball VA. iguanas down there foxes ra uh rodents. unique animals they had a beach this. thing called Glass Beach it had all this.
used to be glass but it all was rounded. out now from the from the tides where. else they send you where else did you go. I went to azors we went to the azors. which is somewhere I don't know is. Portugal yes off the coast of Portugal. between Portugal and. America pretty amazing what about you I. just remember I saw Paul morresy today. you know him yeah we went three point. Paul he's a basketball player too great. uh we got flown to Switzerland montro. Switzerland for a festival yeah and then.
we made a deal with each other like. let's keep going places yeah in Iceland. Australia but the China gigs those weird. gigs Dominican Republic and you're just. like you Dominican Republic mhm and. you're just here on their dime the the. Anchorage gigs oh I never did that those. were good they take you on either a a. thing above the glaciers or deep sea. fishing me and David Taylor were deep. sea fishing we cut one open right there. had all these like dots it he's like. what's that he well it's egg it's. pregnant so it's eggs and he goes is. that caviar yeah can you eat those raw.
yeah you can e showed us and ate it and. David's like I'll have some right out of. the thing every pregnant one we found. David just started filling up on it and. then he get sick so sick you're not. supposed to fill up on caviar on a boat. yeah dude especially when you're. poor you can barely afford a burrito and. you're eating fresh out of the womb. caviar bro if somebody brought caviar to. me I'd served in a. womb Ser I'd serve a sword to. their neck dude you can't eat.
caviar if you're poor dude yeah it's. that doesn't go your stomach's like. chill. out you know your system can't handle it. God those gigs were good they just fly. out somewhere and it was just like on. their dime and you're just like they. cover the hotel they they they let you. know where to stay there's no arranging. yeah you never made any money yeah right. bucks broke even maybe but then like. you're living. like on a vacation to the level I could. barely afford now yeah all covered it's.
it was so cool dude we went one time to. what's the blue stuff that they put in. drinks it's. um they put it in like a oh c. yes boom that place it's an island oh so. we went there you went there on Comedy. yes where zoom out from the map I want. to see where this is on the map go and. then slowly zoom out yeah yeah night. near bone air okay out out out where the. is this I really don't know content.
to is yet me neither okay in the. Caribbean every couple years they move. this place somewhere else it's like the. island from Lost we went go look at a. picture of it dude it is like a small. place there's only one area that has a. few buildings and then there's this. military base there and but they. manufacture this blue lour there yeah. that's here it's very small dude it's. beautiful it's beautiful but there's. nothing I mean this is it right. and then we went to this military place. I think we did a show and then they had.
uh they put us up in these rooms and in. the you go into the facility where the. rooms were like and it just kind of. looked like a bear like um almost like a. community college type of or like an old. high school just like the center block. kind of wall you know with painted over. and stuff then we opened the door to. this one room and it. was the most eccentric craziest room I'd. ever been in dled up different yes like. I think fancy like operatives or. somebody came down there every once in a. while and they put him up in this crazy.
place and probably get him some chicks. or whatever but it was unbelievable we. went with uh yeah we went with. cheerleaders from um what Houston Texans. cheerleaders what yeah that's when you. would have nutted yeah should have who's. that that's the room I was in me J Davis. in crazy but every other room was normal. and then they had this one room that was. crazy had like mirrored ceilings like. heavy cocaine Vibes me and J Davis yeah. that's a Coke Vibe for sure yeah it was.
CRA it was just crazy there's me and him. just wait back back up wishing we had. some women those your you in shape there. I was in shape God damn bro I used to. wait what yeah that's you on the left I. used to jerk myself off that's how goodl. looking I was damn dude you need to. lower those pants a little bit show that. be what is that. BLM dude I don't know what's going on. over there but that was pretty amazing.
that's cool that was but yeah going. places like that was unbelievable. military you ever do any of the ones. where you were in like Iraq or no I just. had um Nate and uh and Lou cats Louis. cats and uh and Joe list on my podcast. about going to Kuwait and and uh with a. stop over in Istanbul wow and it's just. like that same thing of like what are we. doing here it's all paid for and set up. yeah that was crazy and you just thought. you were like this is crazy when you. grow up you're like I I'll probably. never go there ever let alone on someone. else's.
dime yeah they had a Woman in a Black uh. had a woman gave me a BJ you'll be. tripping and a Blackhawk gave me a BJ. and a Blackhawk on the ground on a un. they arranged that for you no she. arranged it okay okay she arranged it. and she said oh the Airfield is UN I. don't know what it was like un. unattended or something tonight but yeah. pretty cool. and then what else oh another time wait. wait. wait wow I know pretty neat I think that.
was in like she hold your hand and make. a man out of you I don't know what. happened wait you got a in a. Blackhawk helicopter pretty cool did she. leave No Man Behind or did she like I. don't remember I remember she had a huge. uh kind of Zed on her neck or like a. goer or. something you're just looking at that. the whole time I think she was from like. Philly or something like something but. really a sweet gal and uh seems nice oh. there was another group that went.
jogging in the morning in the Air Force. and she slipped over into my um little. cabin or whatever she slipped out of. line of the Jog and I couldn't get an. erection I was too like freaked out or. something I thought they were going to. come in with guns I didn't know. how the military Works where was this uh. this was in somewhere near qu aif John. or one of these bases or. something pretty cool wow those were. good yeah it was good a good time it's. good for good for everybody it was just. cool yeah they would take you out the. middle of nowhere you just shoot a bunch.
of guns you know and just and there that. was Kuwait you went to Kuwait yeah. whatever the one in a yeah aif John. that's where we flew in went to these. forward operating bases I think that's. what they went too I think it might have. been the same one it was pretty great um. so yeah the special let's get a little. bit more about it I want to know about. it are you touring off of it now is it. going to be a new T off a different hour. okay yeah I'm toring a little bit for. like till April then I'm going to take. about a year and a half off yeah off the. road you always do a good job of that is. taking time you're the one guy who's. always like dude you got to take some.
time off for yourself and I'm like I. will and then I never do yeah I always. try to get you to yeah you do yeah you. could I know one of day I will yeah one. day I'll just take time off forever you. know I think that's probably maybe my. goal save it up and then go yeah just. like when people save up their PTO or. whatever you save it up till the end. when you quit like I get all that oh. that's the wrong way to live you think. should be taking along the way yeah yeah. so go I'm going to go backpacking for. like six eight months just traveling. you've been some pretty great places. over the years I went to Cuba this year. with Bobby Kelly did you really yeah for.
her we were there for Hurricane not. that's not why we went we went to get. away from the election no way yeah we W. out there on Monday we didn't find out. who won till Sunday. wow they don't even have elections there. you're like what happened to the. election like I don't know what that. word means alexion no say no. say wow what was it like there I mean it. was pretty wild you can see see like the. remnants of what it would have been the. extravagance same buildings nothing's. they have embargo there that's one thing. I tell Trump like come on in that.
already they're just poor people now for. no reason and so what does that mean. they have an embargo so you can't they. won't trade with America they won't. trade with anyone who trades with. America to a degree I think so so we. won't trade with or we did we do that or. they did that we did that okay and so. Obama ended it and then and open up. travel and everything Trump put back on. the Embargo but you can still travel and. then Biden also took say no full embargo. but you can still travel so there's 20. flights a day from Miami and Houston. okay so you can travel to Cuba you can't.
bring back cigars can't bring back. alcohol and we don't do trade with them. yeah and so that means they can't grow. extra stuff in trade all their sugarcane. all their tobacco they can't there's no. reason to grow extra because they can't. it'll just rot right um so there's just. poverty there so it's just poverty but. it's also dis property because the. government takes probably like funnels a. lot of the money just to themselves. right sure they're doing okay that. hurricane they evacuated everyone they. had to evacuate like it like really well. there was three people rushed to the. hospital that's it during a type three.
hurricane that's nice yeah I me the. whole island lost power for two days so. there was no power in the entire country. for two days so that was like weird but. then we just wandered around outside. afterwards just like looked at the. devastation. H us businessman conducting trade or. Commerce current embargo stat interests. yeah president Donald Trump would say. office for second term January 2025th so. if we reverse several actions taken by. the outgoing Biden Administration well.
that happens a lot like the one like so. for couple days that things have changed. right so you know I think I know what. this is so Diaz told me this to gave me. a clue they wouldn't Florida didn't vote. for Hillary Clinton because they never. forgave Bill Clinton for giving back. Elli and Gonzalez because they those. Cubans that fled and went to Florida who. who are all and they they breed you know. so there a lot of them they hate the the. Castro over there and there anything you. can they tell their grandkids you can. never visit Cuba that place and so. they were mad at them giving this kid.
back to his real father like he should. be in America so they just hate him so. it took Obama for like well I've already. run twice and won so I'm not going to. run for a third term so now I can end. this embargo if he didn't Florida goes. against him so Trump same thing is like. I want that Cuban vote let's put that. embargo back on Biden too I want that. Cuban vote put that embargo back on yeah. Florida a big vote it ain't Maryland. yeah if it was Maryland like I don't. care Florida's a lot of points right so. I'm hoping he's like well I've already.
in dang yeah so it's just it's just. whatever but so then when you go like. can you bring anything like yes light. bulbs or it's not even expensive like we. just can't get here batteries a. battery charger we would love that huh. yeah so he was like Hey the Hurricane's. coming we're going to lose power charge. everything wow um yeah that's wild you. don't even think about the things you. would need suddenly yeah so you can see. all the buildings they look Co kind of. decrepit but if you like blink and like. imagine it with like a clean coat of. paint you're like oh yeah this would. have been the vacation spot yeah maybe.
one day it will be again well I guess. well you guys went there for a vacation. how was it I loved it I had so much fun. cigars all day I went to the beach. nobody was on it they they cooked you a. lobster right there for $10 it was so. cool it was so much fun and freeing I. got to practice my Spanish so it's a. great place to go God damn and we didn't. get out of Havana we would have gotten. out except for the hurricane kind of put. a damper on it but cool experience. anyway but like yeah I would love to go. back I would love to go to Trinidad like.
the city of Trinidad in Cuba in in the. East and just like was there a nightlife. there when you went dancing and music. that Cuban music we went to What's Left. of wovo Social Club I was dancing they. picked me up to dance this hot. black chick like Caribbean like black. chick danc with me and I was like I. remember a little salsa class Salt Water. sisters baby yeah I was going for it. dude it felt good it was so fun. yeah everyone's out everyone's smoking. and just casually smoking those cigars.
and just like drinking are they bus do. they bust on you because you're American. no not at all one guy one guy goes I. know it's not you I know it's your. government and I was like I wasn't even. thinking about. it wow we went when I was a student we. went I want to get you on my podcast. about that year on when I went to there. semester at C okay did I'll come talk. about that I never talk about it I met a. guy it would go perfectly with that pod. but also like Journey what's it called. the trip you be tripping you just about. a place you've been but I haven't had.
ocean as any but like I met a guy in my. neighborhood I never talk about that. whole trip we were talking he goes do. you know theovon I was like yeah yeah. it's friend of mine and he goes I was on. a boat with him once and I was like oh. weird and he goes no no no it was like a. six-month thing yeah I got to get his. name to see if you remember I got to. remember his name semester he white guy. yeah white guy James James was his. name James. but anyway yeah and I was like oh that'd. be perfect that sounds so cool though oh. it was great yeah semester at se was.
like a floating School took off out of. Canada out of Vancouver over there and. just went around the whole world. finished in Florida we stopped at Cube. on the way you did on the way back yeah. Fidel came and spoke to us too it was. pretty crazy really yeah but then but. then we just tried to get out oh dude. I'll tell you this fun thing that. happened so we went out and nobody spoke. any Spanish or whatever we would just do. like that if somebody talk Us in Spanish. you. know we just do that in order in.
order a kubal li you know oh man they're. great there oh yeah The Havana Club yeah. we went to the Havana Club yeah yeah we. saw a guy picking his nose so hard for. so long so long I have a picture of I. can't show it being too much hate but. hard workers over there hard no there's. a w a w get rid of that. pollution yeah a lot of people travel. over there their nose it hits. different in Cuba the flick goes. further and then uh so we were at this.
thing we're just walking down the. streets and finally we find this kind of. party going on it looked like there was. some people there was like a birthday. cake and stuff with this old guy and. these people like were drinking and we. were drinking so we all just start kind. of dancing in this little kind of foyer. area like off this the edge of this. house and stuff when we're hanging out. and stuff and uh we singing happy. birthday and dancing and then you start. to realiz I look over and this old guy. is going down on this woman they were. hookers that they'd hired for this birth. for these two old dudes had hired some. hookers for their birthday what and. we're just there like cutting.
the cake with him and we're like. what the are we doing bro there's a. lot of hookers there yeah was there yeah. I didn't get any you see them though I'm. like I haven't seen any hookers and you. notice like oh yeah yeah that oh yeah. that they're like hi and you're like yep. they just dress different yeah that was. and then we had to go get bread and. cheese you got what we we were staying. with a guy and and they were like should. we help should we help no no I got it I. got you and then when the hurricane was. coming like should we go out and like. get like supplies and he goes yes like. he was like oh you're worried so.
we're like on the hunt for bread and. cheese and everywhere we went they're. like we're out we're out nuh and then. Bobby Kelly was like all right let's go. let's go to the next place we got to go. and he goes well hold on there's cookies. here I'm like Bob it's not a cookie time. dude let's go so what else do you see an. alcoholic with a dessert it's hard. a replacement what else did you. see there what else did we see we went. to a baseball game o i missed doing and. we were when we left we were throwing. everything we had off of the edge of the. uh ship like tennis shoes any just cuz.
they didn't have like just things that. like we're like what are we going to do. take this we don't even. care who cares because you kind of made. friends with the people while you were. there they had this guy named Henry that. was taking us around and he um and it. was just so we're just throwing. everything we had just off the edge of. this boat just take it you take it take. it here here here clothes all kind of. stuff yeah because they could use it it. was that was pretty awesome that was. really great yeah it's crazy that they. don't have access it's weird when you go.
to another place to see a cultural. difference like that you hadn't even. noticed before like oh I have access to. shoes when I want it I might be able to. afford them but I can get them yeah they. had horse meat that's what they served. us at this we went to this conference. they they served us horse meet and then. they had also. um they like you wore this this this uh. translator machine so whenever uh Fidel. was talking to the speaker were talking. you could hear what they were saying and. then some people got to ask him. questions and one kid got him to. sign his passport Fidel Castro sign wow.
that's a perfect thing to sign sign some. dude's pass for Wow pretty cool. this little you met Fidel Castro some. little slurper I don't know if I met him. I don't think I did but you saw him yeah. we saw him he came and spoke to us like. 600 students or maybe and then I'm. trying to think of anything else that. happened that was super great over there. it just happened pretty quick and we. just drank with like a lot of like. homeless people like a lot of times you. would pull in you were on a boat dock so. you were always like around like. homeless people and and wherever. boat docks are right that's not that's.
not the typical Vibe of a city right. like sometimes it was like cool like. Miami and then sometimes it was like you. were in like Jersey you know like you. just it was hit or miss you know some of. these ports you went into so you'd roll. off thinking like oh we're going to be. in the lap of like some cool area and. youd just be in like the industrial in. the docks you know like in Belfast or. something yeah exactly who would go here. yeah no one in La goes to where the. ship's dock people just getting. wasted it's just at some I've been. SE for N9 months get me hookers and. drugs now oh dude all the staff that.
worked on the cruise ship they were from. like uh Trinidad and Tobago and stuff. like that and so they were all they. would all go get hookers the second that. the boat docked you'd see them file out. like ants just to go get hookers in. these different countries man I went. last year Trinidad and Tobago yeah for. Carnival was it nice it was so much fun. for Carnival I dressed the whole outfit. with the big feathers and just. Dan dancing drink for days wow it was so. much fun who'd you go with a chick yeah.
I met my friend my friends like in line. to be the Prime Minister there from. college really yeah his dad was the. Prime Minister and then when when I met. him he was the Ambassador America white. guy toan. no dark skinned black dark skinn black. yeah they only have Indians and and. blacks there pretty much but oh yeah but. everyone's dancing whining on each other. they're whining on me they were playing. this not happening for some reason on. Loop no on Loop so like for like 4 hours. a day they were playing this not. happening in Trinidad no residuals and.
so I was getting recognized in Trinidad. and Tobago some chick was like are you. already shafir can I and I was like yeah. she goes can I want on you I'm like yeah. she just backing it up that's. what they do there yeah it's not even. sexual it's just like backing it up. right on your ass and just rubbing and. they just go all the way down oh yeah. yeah that's great and how what do they. call it wind on you whining whining it's. their dance whining and it's toban I. guess so steel pan all that it was. so.
cool I love that what do you notice. after traveling to some of these places. what do you what are the things you miss. about America and what do you think of. the things that we lose by being such a. capitalistic environment food is cleaner. other places okay like in Cuba they. don't have much but they don't have like. chemicals to put in there either right. um and then it's it's it's like the need. to like work for life oh she's teaching. how to M I might have watched this video. before I went God and what do you do. stand there stand there can lift one leg.
around them try to go down with them. even me you can't do it but they're like. it's funny the white guy trying but. there's no like they're not like mad at. you for being there there's so few. whites there are yeah yeah I think the. real one has more whoa. prania you. just that's when you really that's when. your nuts go missing right there. wow let learned to watch Jesus lady I. know Alto Alto I caught a pickpocket in.
uh Croatia one time got a picture with. him you he pickpocket you called him. just like that and then you're. like I'm not mad at you let's just take. a picture get a photo he ran off little. guy little FAL G. [Laughter]. thieving know like all right yeah fair's. fair um just like you you notice like oh. we have some good things where we are. you know you get to appreciate. appreciate that but then also like the. need to work as your method Reid you. know it's like nah it shouldn't be that.
should be work to. play like how much value we put on that. yeah it's like never ending work till. you die and there they're like they work. for the for the weekend you get you try. to go towards like some fun so there. they have like Carnival season it's a. month plus long parties parties parties. it's great ju everyone's like throwing. paint on each other in mud Ju Ju it's. like J that's in Trinidad Trinidad yeah. it's a night before so you're up all all. night you get two hours of sleep and go. back to drinking and whining yeah that's.
Ju Ju j ju d o u VRT everyone's fighting. with Wow and they're fist fighting no. they're fighting with paint no they're. yeah they're they're in a great M mood. it's all pretty safe let's look about. juvet can you find me Little information. on it looks beautiful it's the day. before so color a traditional Carnival. celebration in many countries throughout. the Caribbean the parade is believed to. have its foundation in Trinidad and. Tobago with roots steeped in French afro.
Creole Traditions wow such as koule. koule what is that it sounds so. weird click on and it comes from like. some weird version of like Christianity. and and slavery celebrating oh yeah can. Boule is a precursor to Trinidad and. Tobago Carnival the festival is also. where Calypso music has its roots M. steel drum you know why did steel drum. cuz they outlawed drumming because they. were like you're you're like ring people. up so like well let's get these. abandoned steel drums like the oil drums.
we'll make music out of that. wow go back to that uh information Nick. it was originally a Harvest Festival at. which drum singing dancing en chanting. were an integral. part huh yep uh it koule has played an. important role in the development of the. music of Trinidad in Tobago for it was. the Banning of percussion instruments in. the 1880s that led to the surreptitious. innovations that gave birth to Steel pan. music oh that's cool yeah here's me in.
my. costume wow that. fun yeah baa it was so fun so he. showed us how to do it our friend Brian. dude that's so cool you look like a. native bro yeah I got I got I got lost. in it you look so native it was so fun. um I mean they party they do it right. there's no status there's no any of that. like what do you mean they party they go. to let loose like a Filipino lady and.
like all the philipinos in like China. and stuff when it's the weekend they. party they just dance on the docks. together right they go for they're like. let's let loose it's not about like who. which table am I at who's going to be. here yeah it's the party for the sake of. party and it's like the downstairs on. the on the Titanic yeah you know yeah. everything else just gets a little bit. ridiculous out here that I think. you definitely noticed that in big. cities yeah club club life clubbing in. Europe is about like doing drugs and. dancing yeah and here it's about like. bottle service and and velvet ropes.
Prestige yeah yeah that kind of stuff. starts to disappear once you even get. out of I feel like some of the bigger. cities um I always notice too that. Australians travel the most I AUST yeah. it's like their thing they go do it it's. how they we can't even comprehend it you. see one in the audience like oh what are. you doing here it's like I'm on holiday. yeah and you're like oh so just La in. the back like no La Vegas Miami and then. Copenhagen London whatever like how long. Field of Dreams we're going to there's.
always like one outlier thing they're. going to see yeah yeah it's like why. nobody goes that want to see Mickey. Rooney's grave over there yeah they go. for like two months I know it is really. incredible huh they'll going it's almost. like that Amish thing like um what's the. where they go rum Springer rum Springer. yeah Australians almost have that we're. like I'm going to go see the world and. Australians all they really want to do. is try the different cokes from around. the country oh they like doing cocaine. yeah they love it and they have the. worst oh yeah they love it the most and.
have the worst yeah so it's like imagine. you dunking I love to dunk but I can't. really do it CU I can't really do it but. then you go to like the moon and you're. like I can dunk now all You' want to do. is just dunk all. day. yeah just just jumping right. past the sun would you see that picture. that just came up about Mars you see. that what about it they found this crazy. thing there's a photo if this photo is. real did you see that. Nick yeah they found like a perfect. square on Mars is that what you're.
talking about yeah. what it's kind of fascinating that's. unsettling that a perfect square Mars. behind branded wild has space Fanatics. completely baffled damn that's a. straight. line yeah I'm trying to see if we can. get a clear picture of. it I'm sure they were too yeah facts oh. that's it right there so you start to. wonder like because your mind also. starts to say well okay that's a square. but but also it's like is it just like.
right there the Rocks broke down just. that way that's not it's like Bigfoot. where it's like or UFO so every. time UFO like look at this I'm like I. can't say context yeah that looks like a. DOT and with the shittiest thing for me. is UFOs have been in the water recently. do you hear that a couple like a month. ago water yeah why wouldn't they hide in. the water and you're like okay so you're. telling me this whole time we've been. looking up and they're down and they're. down oh you tricksters it's like a it's. like part of a scoobydoo episode it's. like what I'm not worried about them.
harming me um this was a let they tell. me something news yeah rep Tim B said an. interview Wednesday that an admirable. whom he did not identify told him. unidentified craft moving at incredible. speeds in the sea it's always incredible. speeds and you're like how about it's. it's far away look look if you have. something really far away and it's. moving across the screen like that. you're like that's slow if it's right. here it's like oh my God that's so fast. yeah it's just you can't see the. scale you can't see where it is but also. just they oh they've been in the water.
that's oh we were looking up here and. they're down there you never thought to. tell us about the. water got to discover it you got to be a. real scuba Doo it kind of made yeah it. that was good that was better than the. other you win the round but it was what. I was like this is so dumb dude. now they're in the water it's like so. they're not up here it just was so yeah. where else is they going to be where's. next in the fridge I. know um where do you want to go still.
Argentina yeah baros you know a place. map that for me let's see. barelo where the women swim like like. swine let me see it you don't know how. to spell that yeah I was say how do we. spell it I mean it's up to you really. you're a American you Bry it's. up to you boy mirce. why that place where'd you hear about. that you just heard about it from. somebody it's so funny when you hear. about something you're a kid and you. just remember it forever you know you're.
like yeah I got to go there time with. bonjovi wow wow oh so it gets cold there. too oh it looks perfect it does look. perfect St Carlos to bar looks beautiful. Halifax is beautiful you've been there I. just went for the first time did you. I've been trying to go to Eastern Canada. for so long and my Jews just. keep telling me it's not worth it for. the money and I'm like I want to go and. they go fine only winter I'm like no no. you got to be Outsider in that yeah like. you'll draw less I'm like who guys get.
me out there and I finally went I loved. it beautiful weird cool people isolated. yeah strange different people real real. uh what's that movie where they. put that guy in a. box and they burned it alive I think I. think one of them I think Nicholas Cage. did a remake of it not match dick match. wickerman wickerman looks like wicker. Manish for sure yeah it was great yeah I. love that Lacross Wisconsin was a place. that I liked in America yeah outside M.
pear very beautiful it's uh just like a. perfect place I've been doing that now a. lot when I meet somebody from another. country I'm like what's what's your tips. and they go oh we go to bernos aures no. no no no you from bernos sares can be a. restaurant a bar or where you go hiking. outside of there yeah and then they tell. me and I put it on Google Maps and I'm. like I'm getting there give me the. Grassroots Mar I'm going to write that. one down that's Lacrosse Wisconsin it's. I think it's one of the best little. cities baralo baralo yeah where the. women swim like.
swine oh yeah there you go there's. granddad's Bluff over. there Baro oh yeah bro that's what we. need more. baralo in America yeah and then I would. say in America probably I would go with. Lacrosse Wisconsin is a place that I. really think is a great place to go tour. or see just nice it's like if you. thought of a like ideal place in America. yeah like especially like where like in. the fall the leaves change color and.
like as a cool Mountain but you could. still ride your bike everywhere you. wanted to in town as a kid and you have. just enough of a little downtown with. like some three-story buildings where. you're like oh that's. downtowns yes and everything but some. cool old shops and stuff downtown where. it really feels cool how many people. live there in Lacrosse Wisconsin 52,0. 818 so a good enough size too where it's. like you know you'll have some neighbors. you have some good sporting events and. stuff like that um you're close enough. to drive to Green Bay to cheer for the. Packers but yeah right right but far. enough away they like we don't go right. like this is their downtown so.
everything you know just kind of perfect. this where D Roa lives in Pennsylvania. city like this yeah yeah like like an. hour outside Philadelphia Pennsylvania's. got some beautiful places yeah but like. a small downtown just like that and he's. the mayor. wow yeah you got one light yeah that. place is a great spot though that's the. kind of thing you do when you're on the. road where it's like all right I'm going. to go I'm going to stay a few days. longer or go a few days early chill out. then do my shows or stay there and drive. in for your shows and go back so you. have all day yeah I want to do some more.
like I think as maybe after this year. then I would just get a camper and do. like a a year where I just go around the. country do some like interview just. regular people in different places and. you're good at that too and just have a. just I saw you interview like a school. bus driver once go touring who do we. interview did you have a school bus. driver or a bus driver we have a hostage. negotiator coming on soon no was. somebody more regular we got couple. years ago we had a female Long Haul. trucker a mortician lunch lady lunch. lady maybe it's mortician maybe it's. lunch but yeah that normal that you.
can get a lot out of them that'd be fun. yeah who drive the RV you or you have. somebody else be driving it or switch. off probably switch off I've driv or. have a family at that point you're. looking I got to get a family at some. point well if you do that guess what. you're going to have to do. first nut inside nut inside. buddy that's it it's for you it's all. there. you don't. say uh that would be cool me and uh. O'Neal and Matt Edgar did one where we. did a Spokane and we did Tacoma yeah no.
Tacoma then Spokane and then so two days. there two days there in the interim we. found a fire station fire lookout. station that had been re redone MH so it. was an hour hike to get up there no. roads in took all our and we stayed. up there for like 3 days doing mushrooms. there's hundreds of Acres around us wow. there's nothing up there and it was a. the 360 deck on top so none of the. animals can get at you but you can be. out there you just found it yeah O'Neal. found it damn and the guy was like yeah.
we own this we retrofitted it they don't. need these fire Lookouts anymore and so. it was like it was but that's all there. if you're willing to take like the week. in between yeah skiing doing anything. yeah I think some things just get like. you're like you want to work but then. you're like have I done enough work I. don't know but then you start working so. much you don't know what you're doing. anymore sometimes too just autopilot. wasting time it's funny I have two. different sets friends and half of them. are like pity me for not buckling down. enough and the other half look up to me. for for like paying it back in enough I.
think I look up I think I always admire. the fact that you go and do these fun. things that seem to keep you. alive I got a proposition for you maybe. I'll tell you all fair okay that's fair. yeah I want to come on want to talk. about the semester at se that's what I. would like to talk about okay so we'll. do it you're doing any New York New York. or if we're in Austin together we can do. it then okay yeah I have a studio there. too yeah that'd be fun to go to the. different place I've never really gone. through and thought about and yeah. you'll think about you're going to. remember stuff as we go that's what. happens to everybody when they're doing. it when they're doing one of the. episodes like and then I went oh that.
chick Margaret oh yeah that's that. moment that I love dude we had a. girl she hit did a water slide. somewhere in like Vietnam which nobody. knew they even had yeah broke out both. of her front teeth and got knocked up by. a mariachi player dude a mariachi player. in Vietnam I know so who who what what. do you mean we had a girl I don't know. she was on the she was just on the. cruise ship too cuz that would be it you. go You' land in a port with the cruise.
ship you would take classes while you're. on the ship and the program's called. semester at se and it's amazing You'. take classes but then once you got to a. city you would just people could go do. whatever they wanted you could be back. at whatever be back when the ship leaves. at like 0700 or something so people. would come back with drug habits some. people would come back with amazing. Stories people come back with their. teeth in their pocket in a full w w. that's like Fantasy Island it was just. some people wouldn't go people would. stay with a couple people like fell in. love this stay they're like. it couple people got busted with drugs.
or whatever and they just left them. there no yeah rules are rules man yeah. wheels up wheels up at this time wheels. up yeah anchors up so that was all of. that was kind of fascinating man do you. think Fantasy Island was a precursor for. Epstein Island I'm not sure what Fantasy. Island was it a real place no it was a. TV show oh it was yeah I never saw it. with Hy Vette whatever no my buddy's dad. was in. loveboat yeah really what was he in. loveboat um he was a captain I.
think what he's a captain captain. stubing. yeah I think. so I don't know how to spell it yeah him. that was your buddy's dad that guy slung. I guarantee you that guy came. inside you think dead at 90 he passed. away he was until he was 88 and. a half guaranteed oh no this wasn't his. dad then. captain on a. boat he fell in love on a boat and he. was the captain yeah that's it that's it.
I can't no my bu was you're good at not. continuing when you're like no I'm not. lying I'm not lying about any of these. things um I love there was a clip of r. on Rogan when you were like you're doing. the Theo thing you're like I can't do. the AC like man these these bees are. just exploding and Jo just starts. laughing and you're like yeah they're. exploding he's like what are you talking. about look it up Jamie and everyone. thinks you're a lot and he goes yeah. those exploding bees and he goes yeah. what do you mean every now and then tell. the truth you got sprinkle with you. bring a piece of information that he. doesn't have that's when his mind is.
blown how did you know this well he's a. library imagine going to bed when you're. a library yeah he's a Library. it's like you go to the front desk. you're like hey do you have this book. and he's like let me see what I have and. then he shows up with the information. that he has for a pothead he really. remembers it quite a lot. just has a he has an endless memory and. a lust for knowledge he wants to keep. feeding it genuinely curious yeah I'm. already like I know enough dude I know.
so little and I gave up. then I think that was my Mo um Ari. shafir we got the new special America. sweetheart American sweetheart and on. Netflix on Netflix congratulations thank. you thank you um yeah I wanted this one. more regular people to see it and less. uh YouTube people yeah there lower views. on Netflix for people at my level but. but it just take time for people to get. to it too yeah but then also just like. I'm trying to really get through with. humor of like. chill chill everything's nice so.
hopefully some people I've seen some. people people hey I put down the phone. all day because that's special like. great getting through to you yeah yeah. cuz that's how they really captivated. you yeah it's like man yeah the closer. is the darkest one yeah yeah so get to. the closer I guess and then I'm on tour. cool All Over America the farewell tour. before I go backpacking. man that's going to be nice dude I'm I. okay as soon as we're done I want to. suggest something to you okay yeah I'm.
ready to take a suggestion um yep thank. you guys America sweetheart Ari shaffir. his tour after the backpacking or before. what the tour tour is now and then I'm. going to end that and leave leave just. let's go a couple more months of hanging. out in New York having fun and then like. take off yeah take off then I don't know. but the you'll be tripping podcast will. still come out I'm gone banked I'm. already like 30 ahead just for this. awesome and what a great idea too you. can just have so it's all about trips. that people taken what like one trip you.
took come back tell me about a different. trip come back tell me a different trip. or we stay in that place and it's not. like what am I supposed to do it's like. what did you do right I fell in love I. the Danny poish was like I had. Denay fever and LA but the whole time in. a sand floor Hospital perfect tell me. about it yeah just I just love it. soon as I finish the episodes I just. like sit there I'm like sigh like I want. to go there yeah and sometimes I'm like. that was bad I didn't care I think. sometime we do an episode I'm like how.
was that so like that was the best ever. I'm like you guys are we're all. idiots it is fascinating how like you. the the idea of planning a trip is so. hectic and then you just plan it and. then like the day comes where you're. sitting on the plane and you're like. this is the best decision I ever made. it's the best you're nervous you're. nervous I'll do it later if you just my. Booker in Romania he goes I'm trying to. go to Thailand I couldn't go you know. what I'm buying a ticket and then I'm. going to force myself to go from six. months to now if I have a ticket I'm. going and he did and he went and it's.
just like and then that thing if you cut. off the plane you're still in an airport. seems familiar but when those sliding. doors open you go outside and there's a. little smell difference yeah and you. just feel like the signs are in a. different color and you're like oh here. we go it hits you and you're like oh. yeah and you just got to get by the cab. drivers are trying to hustle you and. they just like God it's just the best. yeah God it's good yeah we had a taxi. took us in Vietnam straight to a bird.
animal place that had hookers in the. back so Pet Shop front hooker. back so how do those go together just. what a what what a what a com Hey kid. play with the puppies dad's going to go. in the back it was kind of like you see. those Pizza Hut Baskin Robbins or. whatever where that merger or whatever. uhhuh yeah you're like yeahuh I'll take. a couple SC. Scoops in a wing yeah dude I take. piece of pie and a and a.
gble all right shafir man you uh. endlessly continue to create content man. and and put your comment out in the. world man and um yeah I'm trying to have. fun yeah you always do uh thanks for. coming and hanging out man yeah great. see anybody now I'm just floating on the. breeze and I feel I'm falling like these. leaves I must be. Cornerstone oh but when I reach that. ground I'll share this piece of my found.
I can feel it in my. bones but it's going to take.
