Andrew Santino | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #517

I've got some tour dates to tell you. about bethl New York Wallingford. Connecticut Portland Maine Banger Maine. monton Canada Las Vegas Nevada we're. coming back during the LSU USC football. game weekend uh that's August 30th and. 31st Oklahoma City North Little Rock. finally getting there at Arkansas and. looking forward to that baby praise God. mine Springfield Missouri Kansas City.

Missouri soue Fall South dakata Lacrosse. Wisconsin Green Bay Wisconsin and Molen. Illinois all tickets are through theovon. docomo and thank you so much for. supporting uh Live. Comedy today's guest is a stand-up. comedian uh he's a podcaster um he's my. friend and um and I'm just really. grateful that he's coming in today you. know him from his podcast whiskey Ginger.

and bad friends he's got a bunch of new. tour dates coming up for his fall tour. uh I'm grateful to spend time today with. Mr Andrew. [Music]. Santino I'll sit and tell you my. stories. me and I will find a song oh I've been.

[Applause]. sing [ __ ] Fitz Simmons Greg fit. Simmons what's wrong with him he's. finally coming out no after all these. years because I'm sick of I can't I. don't want to hide it anymore I'm tired. dude I went to dinner with a buddy mine. the other. day came out of the closet at dinner. yeah before we even ordered appetizers. I'm like let me get something in my. belly first before I hear that kind of.

news well let me get something in my. mouth if you've had something in yours. you know what I'm saying that's how I. it's like bro because it was there was. nothing to do you know I didn't realize. how nervous I would get if somebody was. like I guess like immediately gay in. front of me or like they you know was. like a reveal I don't know if it's. called like revealing it's called a. surprise yeah surprise surprise I'm gay. yeah but it's is it a surprise cuz we. usually know I we almost always know you. don't have a good this I had no idea I'm. have a really good gayar really really.

good my uncle used to get the hiccups if. somebody was gay around him right yeah. you get congested well he just couldn't. handle it I think there was something. inside of him the Lord maybe and You'. see him start to [ __ ] kind of bubble. up a little like a [ __ ] like he was. made out of champagne you know just you. know and dude the crazy here was the. crazy part though. dude uh years later it's just uh he got. started getting around his son and then. he started [ __ ] losing his mind he. thought his son was a uh gay and he.

wasn't we don't know we don't know we. don't know you know at higher altitudes. I think people there's more gay people. at higher altitudes can you look that. up I think there might be well that it. does make. sense they they're more exposed yeah. higher. altitudes wow people at higher altitudes. have more yeah. right wow you know it says who should. not go to high altitudes sh is it should.

gay people go to high altitudes or no. well it says Sickle Cell so Brothers. aren't allowed up there yeah no way um. but you know that's prob it's closer to. to God. so you know you're up there you got to. be careful he likes who he likes that's. right that's all we're saying dude. Andrew thanks for coming in dude thank. you man it's been a minute really really. appreciate it bro congrats on uh on bad. friends all the success you guys have. had than you man ditto I miss you I miss. you ever since you went to. Nashville we uh we miss you like crazy. we talk about you like you're gone.

you're not dead but you're gone we just. don't see you as much it's different I. know it's a lot different man yeah how's. it felt like what is the comedy scene. like CU you've stay you've been here the. whole time I know you had thought about. maybe moving you had thought about you. went to New York for a little bit Yeah. and I don't I don't want to uh I'm not. going to go anywhere oh thanks brother. this guy um is it too hot you want to. check it first no it's fine but I'll. throw it on him come here for a second. um no if I uh no I'm good here man I. like it here LA's La is.

um The Comedy scene is good uh it's it. just got shaken up and then so now it's. back to like humming again like. everything kind of feels a little bit. smoother but for a while it was like. everyone's gone everything disappeared. everything got quiet now I think it's. like leveling out yeah you know it's. like if you're panning for for gold you. got to shake some of the [ __ ] out oh. yeah and I think also it probably. creates a lot more stage time cuz I mean. it was hard for. like Joe Tom I mean we kind of were.

coming up like after them a little bit. oh yeah big time and it was tough for us. to get you know like consistent yeah. right as much as you you know like they. and so that's just the cycle of it I. guess yeah but you you never had a. thought to go to Austin right you were. never going to move down there I thought. about it and I'm still thinking about. maybe uh getting a place there yeah yeah. just because I went down there for two. weeks and I picked up eight new minutes. yeah it was great and it was like I need.

this but do you like. barbecue I don't I mean not as Tim Dylan. he didn't like it remember that was his. big thing he's like the [ __ ] the. barbecue he didn't like it yeah and [ __ ]. uhy gab he would always he didn't like. her yeah why is that he just throws in. it's always a food in a politician with. him you know like oh hate German. chocolate cake and uh Pete bud you know. he just he always [ __ ] like we kind. to put those things together yeah Tim.

also barbecue even the best isn't that. good it's food for uncivilized Hicks. lesbians and car salesmen D well I am I. am one of those three I just I never he. not wrong he's not wrong dude it's not a. meal that I want to eat all the time I. think I think it's a hot take but I. don't like it I don't everyone talks. about like it's the best I feel sick. afterwards I don't feel good yeah I feel. sick I don't need all that meat that's. absurd what am I doing oh yeah it's a. good point am I storing up for the. winter I don't need all that beef for. it's it's pounds of meat I'm all right.

man yeah now when you say it like that. it really is kind of said and the sauce. is just so much like sugar and like it's. sugar it's all sugar yeah it's it's. burned it's like burned sugar and they. just lather burned sugar on beef and you. have to sit there pretend like your. teeth don't hurt after you eat it I have. acid reflux in my teeth hurt dude I. don't want to do it anymore it's tiring. that should be the thing which barbecue. gives you the least acid reflux in your. teeth. teeth it stings.

[ __ ] I never really thought it's so true. I never really thought about that cuz. yeah I'll drink a sip of cold water. after and it hurts so bad yeah it stings. yeah your teeth your teeth are. recovering it's like they got into a. motorcycle accident yeah they're bruised. for a week or. two wait somebody told me you got a bike. did you get a bike I got a um did you. get a motorcycle no no no no I got like. a eight speeed actually my neighbors. told me as he uh I guess it's about an. eight speed yeah it's 10 but couple well.

did you pay for eight and you got 10 huh. it's [ __ ] it's a pretty good deal I. don't know no it's missing something I. got to go through them again it's so. hard to count the G it's like knowing if. you really have 10 or whatever it's like. a [ __ ] it's like who gives a [ __ ] and. then there's that one that's just like. this whatever that gear is on the bike. yeah like hey I should be juggling. that's the queer gear that's the queer. gear you're just kick in the air. hey yeah that's the meat and Fella's. gear you. know there was always a kid growing up.

who could who knew how to fix the chains. when they fell off you know that kid. that kid was such a weird interesting. dude if if the chains were messed up on. the gear switching he knew how to fix. everything real fast brake line he could. replace the brake line yeah and then he. just disappear into the [ __ ] ether. yeah he died that kid dies really young. for no reason rest in peace rip rip Mike. Soven Mike Chauvin that was the guy who. did it for you Mike Chauvin yeah he died. yeah he died tra really tragically too. yeah yeah brake lines were cut uh-uh.

uhhuh somebody cut his brake lines what. are the [ __ ] irony of that I know. that's kind of the universe doing its. thing yeah oh yeah Karma remembers man. um dude yeah so you're so bad you guys. just like. [ __ ] it was a perfect combination man. it was a good time it was great timing. and then the pandemic helped the show. but when Bobby went back to rehab which. I've sent him to three times uh we're. trying to keep him safe and and clean. and he's doing a great job but when when.

he went back to rehab after his dad died. um The Story Goes that he. relapsed I knew almost nobody knew I. don't think anybody really knew like. people kind of talked maybe there was. suspicion that he was acting weird uh. but he's a weirdo so it's like how do. you really but then he was hiding out a. lot I knew he told me not to tell. anybody I got real uncomfortable I kind. of started to um you know question like. I'll just ruin our friendship I guess. and tell him and tell people right cuz.

he was like I'll never talk to you again. if you tell anybody that I'm using so I. was like well [ __ ] it I guess I'll just. lose a friend and then really before I. started to go after and tell people um. Kila came at me and was like I knew he's. using and I knew he like used you. against me to try to hide it you know. and she's like I'm sorry you had to go. through that but then finally he. admitted it to me and he apologized and. was like I'll go get help and I said. when he goes when I get out we'll start. the show cuz Kila when I had filled in.

for Tiger belly she had been like go do. a show together cuz the fans wanted it. and people talked about it so when he. got out and he got clean that's when we. started it and then three months into it. pandemic hit it was almost like a gift. from God because then we got to just. shoot all the time and be together in. the studio I mean truly it was it was. you know and you need that if you really. building one I think you got to have. time I think that's one thing PE that I. didn't realize I think uh over the years. is just like how much time it takes to. do a podcast there's a lot that goes. into job yeah and then when I when Joe.

when I first started going on Rogan's. and then I realized he does a job he. does this. job five sometimes six days a week and. then his other job and then his other. job and then his other job and he still. has kettle bells in his hand while he's. doing it like in the middle of in the. middle of it he's just ripping Bells. it's it's he's the most impressive work. ethic I've ever seen in my entire life. that's a good hands down the work ethic. is through the roof and then open a. comedy club and change the scene yeah. it's ridiculous it's like for anyone. that has any doubts or any questions or.

even thoughts about him that are you. know negative or against the grain it's. like you you don't you don't understand. that guy he's a he's a machine a Magic. Machine yeah I wonder how much pressure. he and he doesn't let if he does feel. pressure he doesn't let you see it. that's what's most amazing to me yeah. because well I think he's he's he deals. with it in the only way he knows how. which is just keep going and enjoy it. one time we were sitting in the green. room we were on when I first went on. tour with him we were playing Arenas and. um I was like man this is incredible you.

know like I was kind of like soaking it. in and he was like yeah but you know. don't let it get to you meaning like. just do it enjoy it and make it seem. like it's any other show yeah and keep. moving don't let it be like overwhelming. where you start thinking too much and. you get in your head about it and then. it kind of consumes you and then you can. become one of those people who's like. how come I'm not how come it's not why. am I not yeah let all that [ __ ] go. he's like just just be in it and keep. moving yeah he keeps it moving he keeps. everything going dwell no dwelling out.

of that dude it's so funny cuz I think. yeah once you get going in podcast. you're like you obviously want to shoot. for the star so you like I mean I know. there was a time when we all I feel like. we're trying to not be like Rogan but it. was like you look you know you shoot for. the you wanted to do what he got what he. got to do I wanted to do what he got to. do yeah well you want to do it well I'm. not I'm going to learn from Michael. Jordan you know I'm not going to learn. from um go ahead you know Carl Malone. yeah yeah car Malone yeah I'm not going.

to learn from car Malone in this [ __ ]. 12year. old wife child you know and that's. alleged I people don't know that but. everybody knows that but um I do I want. to know what was it like touring with. bad friends me and Bob on tour yeah cuz. I remember I I ran across you guys we. were in DC DC this is how funny it D. this how DC was Theo I mean you know I'm. not going to I don't want to do it to. make feel a type of way but I'm so proud.

of you and so happy for you as a friend. who's known you for so long I was so. proud of like you and your success and. it really does make you know it's kind. of like cuz you're ours a little bit you. know what I mean like I watched it. happen so I was like just proud of you I. know proud is a weird word but I'm happy. for you or whatever and when we're in DC. we did one show at the Constitution Hall. and Theo was gracious enough to take one. night off so we could do it because the. schedule's overlapped so you did four. four shows there right or five something.

like that yeah I think so and uh we. barely sold out one and he sold out. five I was like God dude it was awesome. but then we met in the hotel we had a. great night together and we were. chatting and like I wanted to be at. y'all show well those moments were. amazing because like the road has dull. moments where you're humming along on. the bus it was tough was it and you and. Bobby on the same bus yeah yeah it was. tough it was tough yeah because we have. our tour manager on our bus like it's. like a group effort yeah everyone has to. be on the bus but um is that fun what's.

it like being in that sort of a like I. can't imagine being on Wheels with Bobby. that's where it gets extremely alarming. yeah mobile is tough with him yeah cuz. at least you're on land you can. disappear you can walk away from him a. lot of Asians aren't good in motion. right like um in any kind of form of. motion have you ever seen an Asian drive. a boat they're not allowed to no no. that's against sea that's maritime law. no Asians at Sea old I think it's from. World War I well if you think about. Asians like they don't there's the comic. cause Pilots right M that's.

a no. that's and then there's um driving. Asians is throughout the history of time. has been traumatic yeah has been. traumatic for people and then even like. if you go to look at like EO gima like. the troops they would hide in the. tunnels or in Vietnam in the coochie. tunnels like it's very once they get in. motion they can't handle it yeah they. get afraid well uh you know it's I think. it's tough when they're like Bob if you. ever see Bob try to like run or like.

walk fast he starts to wobble yeah he'll. get off axis it's kind of strange I'll. have to hold him sometimes if he's in a. hurry yeah so I'll shoulder him up if. he's in a hurry so we can walk in a. straighter line yeah it's. nerve-wracking and he has only like one. muscle in his body I've seen like a m uh. MRI of him or something it's baffling D. because I remember he sneezed once and. blew his back out yeah well do he and. the muscle moves that's what's kind of. interesting he the muscle at some point. he'll have a muscle just on his high. shoulder if he's if he was moving a lot.

it'll move down to his his leg he'll. have it swims around his body like a. koi it's. alarming um him on a bus was wild we did. 60 some odd cities [ __ ] oh dude it. was wild yeah we stopped and started. stopped and started I had a I don't even. know if you heard this through the grap. fine I had a uh I almost almost uh had. well I did have a mental breakdown with. him at at um Dolly World wait dolly. world in Tennessee Dollywood Dollywood. yeah had a mental breakdown yeah huge um.

what happened so it he just spend a lot. of time on the bus we were just tired of. each other man you know how it gets and. then he was be he we were supposed to go. to Dolly World Dollywood uh at a certain. time right at a reasonable adult time. like 11:30 or noon reasonable adult and. he had slept in past when we were going. to all go together that he threw a fit. about it that we were rushing him which. is insane how what do you need to really. do you put on the kimono and let's go so. we get on the bus we go we get to Dolly. would we get in and then he says I want.

to sit down and eat a meal and I said we. just got here let's go enjoy it all the. crew is with us and he's like I want to. eat you can go do whatever you want and. him and I were bickering and I just was. like you know what you're right I am. going to go do what I want so I left and. they were all like oh where you going. and I just went on my own I just wanted. to some days you want to just be alone. oh and there was only one Uber in Pigeon. Forge there's one Uber yeah I'm not. kidding there's one Uber and the dude. and his girlfriend uh were driving that. was the only are available and the guy.

calls himself Paul R too yeah which I. don't like it I don't like it and his. girlfriend doesn't say doesn't make any. any comments about it cuz I said you're. not gonna say anything about Paul she's. not allowed to talk no well and I agree. but she he picked me up and I had told I. had asked him where the closest airport. was because I was going to fly home to. Chicago to see my parents because I was. like I need a break we had four days. down anyway and then they got in the. Uber hours later and the same guy was. like your friend asking for local. airport I think he done took off but so.

my phone was off so they thought I left. wow they were like he quit the tour the. tour is over they kind of had a moment. of panic and he deserved it because I. needed to break from him being a little. brat so it kind of like checked us but. then of course what happened afterwards. he woke up in the morning the next day I. came back to the bus and he gave me a. big hug and a kiss on the cheek and he. said he was sorry and then it was you. know like anything he my he my brother. yeah but you fight you brother you fight. you fight oh being on a tour bus is hard. dude it's it sucks you're on top of each. other it smells everyone's messy oh.

especially you can hear the oh yeah. listening to the way he sleeps he sleeps. so it's so weird the way he sleeps you. can hear him sleeping yeah somebody said. he sounds kind of like a little bit of. like a generator you know like wait wait. wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. yeah like a bad like he has a bad fan. belt or something you know yeah. something there's a hiccup there's a you. know like one thing skipping over it. needs to be realigned but he'll never. get it done like his D fan belt is off. you. [Music]. know oh he never get it [ __ ] real.

he's one Bobby is one loose he steps on. one bad Rock and he's [ __ ] he's gone. that's it so I don't want to lose him so. I I really do take good care of him but. it was a w it was a great tour we had a. great time but we're we're going to go. down to Australia at the end of the year. because we owe that to them because we. canceled it and then after that we're. not going to tour for at least another. whole year for bad friends yeah oh yeah. well you got to take some breaks man and. you got to I know you're doing your own. too yeah I'm got I'm doing my own tour. in the fall to shoot my new special I'm. doing with Hulu Hulu oh nice yeah Hulu.

got a lot of Hulu pulled a lot of people. away from Netflix uh well I think a lot. these days it's a Netflix was like the. first one and now I think the um people. are just seeing more I wonder what can. we see where people are watching yeah. Burr moved uh Sebastian a bunch of. people moved Hulu yeah Hulu's doing it. well they're doing one special a month. which is amazing so you get the whole. month the lineup is insane I don't even. know if half I'm allowed to announce. some of the people that are on there but. it's incredible well Burr says right. here he's going to be on there yeah he's.

he was one of the first ones that they. got um Gaffigan yeah Jim Gaffigan Burr. uh Sebastian Roy wood is he yeah he's. the man I love that I think that dude is. so underrated it's unbelievable dude I. did iasa with him with Roy yeah. beautiful beautiful man smart sweet he's. sleeping in the distance he like had a. couple of servings or whatever and then. went took a big nap well you got to rest. it off oh yeah you got to do what you're. what you're called to do Netflix still. the top dog though huh look at that. streaming services by subscribers in the.

world yeah Glo they're Glo well here's. the other thing Hulu goes Global in 2025. they're not Global yet so next year is. that's why they're doing this special I. think they're doing the specials in this. regard because they wanted to go Global. finally because they weren't Global. before I see so I wonder if we can show. America alone because this says uh. globally Netflix has 270 million and. Hulu has 50 million but if 50 is only in. the US yeah right that's only us only. yeah Netflix has got to be around 50 to. 70 who knows 80 in the in the US but but.

anyway yeah man I'm doing that so I'm. touring all fall to go gear up for that. all fall I'll be running around which. I'm excited to do I'm going to come uh. I'm coming your way I'll come say hi to. you out there yeah in Nash Vegas yeah I. love it out there I have such a good. time when I'm out there do you I really. do and I Love Lucy at zany and I like it. over it's just L golf over there too. it's your world big big golf I played. some good golf out there oh if you like. to have a little bit of whiskey and Golf. Nashville really is your place man I. think about that all the time it's like. man I kind of don't have the two great. elements that people love here the most.

you know why wouldn't you golf you think. you. could I think I could I just you're. athletic yeah I should probably spend a. little more time doing it I don't want. to go out I I've been out there and it's. not good and I don't want to go out. there again and waste people's time. because people look more serious about. it there well see I I'm I'm good at golf. but I don't give a [ __ ] how good people. are that I play I couldn't care less if. you're fun I don't care oh yeah I just. got back from Scotland no way yeah I. went to St Andrews the old course man it. was so much fun was it really I went.

with a bunch of friends yeah I went with. a couple I went I actually went with. only one good I went with Charlie day uh. the actor and a bunch of his friends so. I didn't I was like the last guy invited. I was like hey man I you know no way. dude St. Andrews what's it like honestly man it. was um it was a dream come true for me. like as a kid those are like you always. want to play the courses the pros get to. play and oh yeah I got to play uh at St. Andrews and it was and we played at 5. other courses but traveling around.

Scotland I mean honestly such a. beautiful beautiful country but truly uh. the worst Food I've ever had in my. entire life oh it's all war meals it's. unbelievable it's unbelievable it's like. you're like we'll get back out there get. back out there yeah going to get back. out there get just get some food and go. it's terrible it's terrible and also. this is proof you definit you need. minorities you have to get people with. melanin to get good flavor and spices. it's way too many whites it's flooded. with whites oh yeah it's overwhelmed. well I've always said too like a lot of.

people are like we need less crime in. some of these cities I'm like but you're. going to have less good recipes mhm bad. food yeah bad food what's the you know. what's the balance yeah you want good. food. yeah yeah dude if you want good food. dude you're going to need bars on your. windows okay sorry you got a cage door. big deal lock it up at. night but it's so true man people don't. want the people don't want the crime but. they want the food and that's the kind. of [ __ ] that's just not fair yeah. Scotland was fun it was just uh damn it.

was so it was beautiful we we went over. there for uh like eight nine days or. something like that and it was a. beautiful little trip to go golf but. it's honestly it's a bonding experience. for friends it's just a way to see your. friends because as we get older we don't. see each other as much we just don't. like we have to run each other on the. road or you have to set up a good dinner. like I was at dinner with SP and and. schwarzen the other night and it's like. you but you have to fight to set it up. because everyone's schedule is like it's. gone it's so you have to co cognizantly. go I'm going to do it we have to like. map out the time so this was a way to.

like make no excuses say I'm doing it. don't don't throw in more work you know. just go oh that's awesome D good for you. for making that and setting it out for. yourself that's a hard thing to do too. you know cuz I know you're competitive. like me and you want to keep grinding. yeah yeah it's well and you you're a. grind addict I mean I am too it's bad. but you're like I want to keep doing. shows I want to keep growing my career. and you know I want to keep building. this thing because it's fun once you're. doing it but if you don't take a step. back to go do a thing for you. I know man you're going to you know it's.

going to be it's going to be you're. going to be gone yeah certain parts you. starts to disappear starts with my hair. for me A lot of times I'll start falling. out that's when I know I'm getting too. stressed out when you're stressing out. too much yeah I can just like I'll just. start finding it my back will just I'll. lo my back will seize up I'll start. having back problems when I get really. stressed out one time I couldn't feel my. foot for like a week dude the worst. thing is say you are going to you're in. the bathroom right and you're sitting. down and you. [Music].

you're pooping that's what I was going. to say but I got it when you said sit. down yeah so you're doing a poop or. whatever doing a number two and your. legs fall so you've been there for a. long time has that ever happened I like. that a lot actually oh I love it I like. it cuz then you get up all wobbly bobbly. you know you when you get up off the. toilet then you look like a kill Tony. guest you know what I mean you get you. start wobbling around your. bathroom oh dude you can't even make it. back to wherever you're going like if. anybody saw you then there's like what. kind of [ __ ] did you take how long were.

you there dear God yeah but you know. what's so funny is I got told that you. can't I spend a lot of time in the. bathroom I read I like to sit and read. you they say you can't because that's. how you get here they can look it up. that's how people get really bad. hemorrhoids from sitting too long uh-uh. yeah but but I'm not pushing hard or I'm. not doing I'm just sitting and chilling. but they say if you sit too long that's. how you incite hemorrhoids because of. the the blood flow so now I'm now I. don't get to sit and chill anymore but. that was my place see look at that. hemorrhoids are when the veins or blood.

vessels in and around your honest and. lower rectum become swollen and. irritated yeah sitting on the toilet too. long can cause it it's a it's bad you. got to get off of that I bet this used. to happen a lot in like um 1600s and. [ __ ] well think no think about this they. used to poop in holes in the ground they. dig a hole so it was uncomfortable they. couldn't relax they weren't relaxing. right no it's quicking out you know like. if you been camping I had to Camp I had. to poop against a rock you got to lean. against a rock and poop you got to get. out of. yeah you don't have time to like sit and.

think although maybe in like the uh. you're talking like a Victorian era. right when they like when they when. whenever toilets were first like a nice. sitting toilet was invented yeah when. was that they probably did really sit. and really oh once some bro once. somebody rolled in with a toilet dude. which is basically like a car for a [ __ ]. right right people were like who is. this well you know kings and queen you. know Kings were eating on that you know.

they wanted me once they saw how. comfortable it was you know they were. like well give me a give me a meal yeah. give me something snack on I'm I'll I. can just sit here and it can be one. fluid thing give me a two-way contract. here Roman times can we zoom in a little. bit see that's actually pretty beautiful. oh a group [ __ ] dude imagine that what. the f dude well honestly that's re. that's Bond that's bonding you really. want to get close to someone you group. sh and look if you go back up to that. group [ __ ] shot you can see their legs. have to overcross they can't be leg but. leg you have to cross your legs over.

each other but that's the Romans they. did all sorts of weird [ __ ] like that. those are they were weirdos dude hey but. yeah what if you're just like whoa nice. one Rick you know or somebody you guys. are in there guys if you can't see this. if you're listening but there's. literally it's a bath it's like a shelf. like a Shelf with holes in it it's a. Shelf with holes in it but there's no. like little walls or anything in between. it's just just sitting C just leg over. leg Yeah it's almost like you'd be in a. sauna but if somebody cut holes in there. and then people were allowed to uh do. number twos as they wished it kind of.

looks it looks more Greek than Roman to. be honest with you it looks like Greeks. do Greeks are Greeks were into all sorts. of fun stuff like that yeah they were. more like perverted and stuff like that. super perverse by 315 ad Rome had 144. public toilets the Romans treated going. to the toilet as a social event they met. friends exchanged views caught up on the. news and wiped themselves with a piece. of sponge fixed to a short wooden handle. what if you got last on the sponge you. want to be first on that you I want to. be the Caboose on that sponge you want. to go n first you want to be number one.

for number two. oh you what Medieval Times let's cruise. up a little bit this is really. interesting in medieval England people. used potties and would simply throw. their contents through a door or window. into the street yeah you'd [ __ ] and toss. it unreal the more affluent would use a. Garder robe or protruding room with an. opening for way suspended over a moat. right oh wow so so that was almost like. Plumbing it was was like it had a way to. get out to the moat but that was also.

and then that's then that's another way. to keep people away from your Castle too. oh yeah cuz they got a [ __ ] River. floating around it you don't want to get. in that yeah you me think about that. about Moes you thought it was like this. clean. water [ __ ] River Bud see that's a nice. that looks like uh on a plane that's. just that's just from American Airlines. that's just a shot. from Francis Lou the 11th hid his. commode behind curtains while Elizabeth. the first covered hers in Crimson velvet.

and Lace using sprigs of herbs to. disguise the O odors well yeah you. forget they didn't shower they showered. like once a month or some if you're. lucky yeah so they stunk a lot of them. St I don't know which one it was but one. of the one of the. Queens which Queen notoriously never. showered there was one that like refused. to shower and she loved it she thought. it was like if she's from slide l or not. fake history on her the Curious CLS. about Elizabeth the first bathing habit. yeah she oh she did so she did bathe.

some people said she didn't it was a. myth huh that's a bummer I kind of. wanted it to be real oh I like them. [ __ ] that's a little bit nasty stanky. you like them stanky a little bit I. don't like like post EDC yeah but not. like living in a bird bath you know what. I'm saying like yeah you want them to be. uh you want them to be just a little you. want them to be organic but not uh not. Farm the table mhm yeah yeah yeah yeah. yeah you that's what I want the Summer.

Olympics are popping off baby that's. where it's at USA just uh battled their. first game against Australia in. basketball they got the dub that's for. sure if you play a sport or if you ice. skate or if you just. even just just wrestle with your own. emotions sometimes you can really break. a sweat when I sweat or get dehydrated I. go straight to liquid IV that's right.

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sorry Co yeah the dead and Company yeah. I went. uh a couple weeks ago I went like three. weeks ago I don't know Adam Ray and I. went uh with our ladies and we uh he's. crushing it dude I'm so proud of the kid. it's awesome yeah we went and had such a. good time it was also like a last minute. we were chatting salval cono came in we. had dinner Adam and I were talking about. doing it um and John Mayor who's a. sweetheart was like. whatever you guys want like you want. tickets or what do you need and I was.

like I don't think we can make it dude. this last Super last minute and then in. the morning we woke up and I was like. all right we'll go you know what I mean. we just were like we got to do it like. it it's a 35 minute flight to Vegas I. was like we got to go and we had an. absolute amazing time man I it's it is. one of the. greatest Visual and audio shows I've. seen in my lifetime the sphere is I mean. it's it's worth every single dime they. they over spent on it and they're losing. money I think they're hemorrhaging money.

that place yeah that's what it says I. know that um the to build the the uh the. crane alone that they Ed to build the. sphere and uh check me on this but it. there was like it took a hundred trucks. just to. bring the stuff the crane is made out of. it was like the fourth biggest crane in. the world I think it's from Belgium or. Berlin um well I I mean Berlin it took. that many uh trucks just to bring the.

pieces of the crane and then it took a. couple of weeks to put the crane. together yeah who builds what crane. builds the crane yeah what crane was. first you know what I mean yeah what's. the first Crane That Built the cranes so. true at a certain point you're like oh. we need a crane to build this crane and. then that who's bu what crane is. building that back on the crane crane. gang G that's right and you know who. built it. first come on uh you know who built the. first crane the first.

crane I don't know the Egyptians oh they. did yeah that's how the pyramids were. built they built cranes of course they. did y yeah what the [ __ ] what people. like who Moved these Stones a crane yeah. you idiot what the [ __ ] a guy didn't do. it they built a crane dude I love how. I've met every white person I meet is. like oh the pyramids aliens every. Egyptian person I meet is just like oh. these are some [ __ ]. my dad my dad loves Ancient Aliens.

that's his favorite thing on Earth yeah. he's obsessed and I say that on stage I. say he loves Ancient Aliens which is. crazy because he hates illegal aliens. and I said dad you can't pick and shoes. they both built the pyramids man you got. to be. careful he's obsessed why are white yeah. whites are so obsessed with aliens it's. our number one thing I think it's. because. like a lot of whites are so comfortable. too comfortable right they're too. comfortable so it's like you start to. worry about other [ __ ] that's that is.

true it's like how you feel you start to. worry about oh alien like you know is. there anybody else out there like it's. definitely those are Creature Comforts. yeah when you get too comfortable you. start to worry about things that you. have no familiarity with that you're. just going to make you kind of make it. up yeah because it feels like it gives. you something to do right if you don't. if you don't work let's say you you're. raising you know you're raising a family. you don't have a job your stay-at home. mom or.

dad there's a downtime when they're. napping and what are you doing. midday you're thinking about aliens yeah. you're bored you're around your house. your vibrator is broken or whatever well. it's not charged yeah you got to charge. that thing you can't keep uncharging. that put that plug it in get back to. square one you believe in aliens don't. you though you. gotta you think I have. to let me think. I don't I think you got to believe in.

something what's out. there I. mean I think we the crazy thing is what. an anomaly humans are right yeah this is. weird we're the weird ones like if you. look in the forest or whatever they're. know they all know each other they know. what they're doing they know what team. they're on sometimes they'll fight. sometimes they'll cuddle or whatever. sometimes they have that video where. like that little duck is on that um uh. Badger's back or whatever oh yeah but.

like they know what they're doing and. then we show up like we're the strange. mammal like if you were in the woods and. you saw a bear right like come out of. his hole or whatever take a couple of. pills cry jerk off right you know and. trans yeah transition and then get on a. computer you be like this [ __ ] [ __ ]. alien this is an alien this is an alien.

so maybe we are the alien you know like. well we are we are the alien to. something else for sure well certainly. to Nature yeah to the rest of nature it. seems like we're the outlier like to. fish I always think about fish we have. to be so annoying to fish just stepping. in their house and then they have to get. out of their own house oh yeah imagine. somebody gets in your house imagine you. just have to leave yeah and when and. then when they're done enjoying your. house then you get to come back imagine. they show up pee in your house yeah. pissing in your house they just come and. piss right in right in your front hey.

and you have to disappear cuz they're 10. times your size yeah yeah that's another. thing about us being so comfortable. because there's nothing trying to kill. us all the time. except corporations and say for us. except for us except for us we're the. best at killing ourselves we're the only. species that works really hard on. killing ourselves y with everything we. consume food alcohol cigarettes drugs m. we're trying to get rid of ourselves.

even the cter is bad now there was a. study the other day was it rotten no. just it's like some of was com they. tested a. woman's C or whatever and it was like 20. proof or something where was that at 20. 20 proof was that at Indiana University. yeah I think it was in Bloomington that. sounds like an IU thing yeah 20 proof is. bad that's pretty That's Heavy 87. 875,000 square feet of space that's in. the. venue um. man yeah Co delayed it I remember that.

and You2 was number one started who's. there now the Eagles are coming. something like that yeah Eagles are. about to do it wait tell me though did. you love did you really enjoy the show. and have you been a dead fan have do you. like the dead I haven't been a dead fan. I probably know like six or seven other. songs probably right yeah but that's. that's you so you like them a pretty. good amount yeah yeah I like them my. brother is a a huge Grateful Dead fan. but he didn't want to maybe see dead and. Co cuz he didn't want to spoil like you. know he's like a Jerry you know he's. like he he was yeah he liked Jerry right.

and so but um he wanted to go he lives. in by Mount Zion so we met over there. and I wanted to go we and we wanted to. do something together and. um yeah I think I love that they have so. much art there's so many little things. you know about the Grateful Dead uh that. since they have a lot of cool and unique. art and stuff they're able to make a lot. of neat stuff to put into the visuals. right whereas if you were a band if. you're like um. you know gu maybe or something or um uh.

um sh Conor sheno Conor uh Joe Jo sewa. or somebody you're not I don't know if. you're going to be able to fill that. space with enough Intrigue you know. right and history and history right it. almost you almost need something that's. a bit historical maybe or something. that's extremely artistic like a group. that has a lot of ambiance that comes. with it right you can't do a solo artist. would be a little hard there unless they.

have such a rich story to tell right. like a Michael bobl or something you. know I don't know but if it were just. Christmas and they were able to make. really cool Christmas [ __ ] in there then. that's a way to do it yeah Booby at. Christmas would be nice though he is. really talented that guy people love him. at Christmas rest of the year whatever. well yeah no I don't need him I don't I. really don't need him yeah boob later. dude it's pretty bad um but what else. did I think I I thought it was amazing. how like well there's like these things.

in the seats called like haptics or. whatever and so sometimes your seat will. move right so some of the seats I think. like 10,000 of the seats uh they have. haptics right and they you know so. they'll have like a reaction or uh so. that's kind of crazy I thought it was. interesting how sometimes um well you. get there right in the beginning and it. just looks like a a futuristic like kind. of cage or something you're in yeah like. a like a inner workings of a machine. yeah it's not just like you're looking.

at a screen it looks like um robot guts. yeah or like inside of a video game yeah. some like video game you went into like. a space world or something and then it. all kind of starts to happen and they. don't give you everything at once they. don't show you all their tricks at once. no they they roll it out slow that's a. great shot wow that was you two probably. I bet because that wasn't uh that what's. wild about it is they give it so much. dimension. you know through through uh through.

tricks of the of the LEDs and it really. is kind of mindboggling gets people I. guess people get really dizzy like some. people get they have to take them out of. there because they get so dizzy from the. the movement because the movement is CRA. it physically like it moves so heavily. that I think people get disoriented yeah. oh there's times where like the way that. they do you're like you feel like the. whole thing is moving through space or. time like you're the entire. feels like you're moving with it yeah. yeah I think they said people with like.

uh kind of like like same thing with. strobes like people that have heart. problems or high blood pressure tics or. something epileptics or if you're French. Canadian you're not supposed to go there. because it's dangerous for those kind of. people you know and that's it's just a. historical unfortunate truth you get. they get sick easier [ __ ] yeah it's sad. but it was a beautiful time man it was a. beautiful time I enjoyed it so much and. it was long and like you really kind of. get a story and. i l it and I thought what was really. cool too at the at the dead show was.

like if you went down to the street if. you went down to just the stage where. the stage is MH and if there was nothing. on the back nothing on the. screen the stage only had a few lights. on it it literally looked like you were. at a backyard concert yeah it's really. crazy it's it's like it's so. minimalistic and then so Grand at the. exact same time beautiful it it had like. five lights behind the guy are six like. I mean small small lights.

uh and then oh that's you two that's you. two yeah and then it had a very uh and. so if the screen was off it literally. look like you were at a backyard show. yeah like a somebody's like a band was. playing in somebody's. backyard um but yeah I would totally. recommend it I heard somebody refer to. thems as a sphar head after they're like. I'll never see a showe anywhere else now. I'm a sphar head it's pretty limiting. yeah definitely limiting but it was. interesting I'd never heard was like I'd. never thought like I'll only see a show.

at a certain venue M yeah dedicating to. a venue is tough yeah because you're. only going to get what you're going to. get but I mean you know that's kind of. life isn't it you're going to get what. you're going to get yeah so if you. become a sphar head you might as well. soak it up yeah yeah I but um what else. yeah what does this crane say the fourth. largest crawler crane in the. world wow that's the crane a 580 foot. tall. crane man imagine being sarens it's made. by a company called sarens imagine being.

David sarens that's your. crane wow what does your family do we're. crane guys big money we're crane guys. have you ever seen the Costco guys you. ever seen these two kids uhuh the son. and his dad we're Costco guys they go to. Costco and they just eat stuff and they. review it a yeah The World Is Burning uh. you know the Statue of Liberty can fit. inside of the. sphere wow and the sphere is inter is. right when you walk in it does feel the. whole thing feels like a presentation.

kind of you know like even the the the. original interior is so neat you're like. you don't just walk right into the like. venue kind of you know you walk into. like like a normal venue would be like. this other you know like the hallways. and stuff and the. the the four uh yeah wow 2.2 billion. just I mean yeah look at little Statue. of Liberty look at a little tiny girl oh. dude all the [ __ ] are in there her. and all her friends yeah well not as. much anymore they don't talk to Sheila. yeah they got she they got into a big.

fight I guess you've been to Statue of. Liberty yeah I think I have did you go. up in her head yeah oh yeah I went up. there dude she was just pissed at her ex. about something when I was there right I. actually was fine I think I was I when I. went and visit her she was in her whole. face so she was having a good time oh. damn she spreading. love I heard that's why France sent her. here dude cuz she [ __ ] she got a. little out of control too being too much. for France by the way cuz they're. they're all horse.

that's oh Paris got ranked the [ __ ]. city in the world a couple years in a. row yeah back what am I doing in. Nashville well you got to go to par I. mean do you speak French but being from. the south being from where you're from. people do speak a little bit of French. little bit French right yeah a little. bit of like. uh that's what I'm saying see that's. that's you're halfway there baby let's. go that just means to let the good times. roll that's a great thing to well there. you go that's all you need to say it's.

not bad but it's like this guy just. keeps saying let the good times roll. this guy is mentally [ __ ] dude yeah. but also welcome to the party maybe they. think you're you're worth the fun that's. all he knows and that's okay this guy. does it um but even seeing the sphere. from your hotel room I can't even. explain how it feels like something fell. off of another planet all right that. looks alien and landed here that's the. most alien part is just seeing it yeah. it does yeah and walking up to it feels.

kind of daunting it feels very uh like a. millenium falcony like it's this big. daunting intricate yeah it is true that. does feel foreign it feels foreign and I. don't I don't mean that in a bad way I. don't mean that in a negative way yeah. CU I know the word foreign people are. really taken to Heart these days most. sexually active cities in the world. what' I tell you Paris Baby W number one. number one they're backto back Champs. but Paris is also been referred to as a. queer City well yeah we say that oh yeah.

that's oh yeah la is number two no way. California is the highest reported rates. of uh genar oh syphilis yeah congenital. syphilis congenital syphilis. uh another piece of data likewise. provides that young individuals account. for more than five out of every 10 clidy. infections and more than 87% of those. are youth of color. hey hm. London London I really would not think. London would be high on the yeah I think.

British women are more casual about sex. I think Europe probably is as a whole. right everybody in Europe yeah we're a. little staunch but I guess that means. that if LA's number two we're kind of. like a European city. Berlin yeah I I imagine Germany oh sex. work homosexual sex have always con had. coexisting the idea of commercialization. in Berlin yeah the problem with that is. you you know in. Berlin you got to kind of be a part of.

their what they want you to do you know. and I don't know if you know anything. about that stuff but in Germany it's a. little too much it's a pretty intense. yeah it's heavy they're perverts they're. are a lot of perverts yeah yeah New York. City I could see that oh yeah in New. York though it's just like if you like. you got to bring all your stuff with you. in the morning even if you're planning. on having sex at any point over you know. it's like you got to for sex yeah you. got a pack for sex you got a hammock you. got some condoms whatever it's like.

Jesus Christ yeah you got to have a. change of underwear and socks H bring. all that [ __ ] and a [ __ ] restaurant. some girls got a camel back on because. she has to [ __ ] walk back to Brooklyn. it just there's no other crazy City to. try to have some uh to meet up with. somebody than in [ __ ] New York it's. ridiculous [ __ ] in New York is yeah. that's got to be a cumbersome adventure. oh [ __ ] in New York is for the birds. I think that's why people get in in. relationships here cuz it's just like oh. [ __ ] I'm not going home I don't feel. like walking yeah it's too.

far I'll marry you it's too far um dude. Trump yeah man insane where were you. when Trump got shot man I'm not going to. tell you that's if the government's. listening just in case I don't want. anybody to hear where was I I was uh I. was um I was at the oh I was at the. house I was at the house. and you know what's so F my my my. instinct was like I'm not even kidding. that's what time we're in now I thought. it was AI at first I thought this is a.

someone's pulling a prank yeah on people. I was like someone is a doing a very. intricate coordinated prank because AI. is that good they could make that up but. then I kept you know then obviously it. got exposed that it was real but for a. long I'm not kidding that's how [ __ ] the. world is that I thought maybe that was. fake or that it was this was all made up. yeah it was it was a trip it still might. be still might be yeah I mean who we. don't know we weren't there I wasn't. there I have no idea what's going on in. penia. that's how so weird the media is these. days like if you don't know when you. weren't there if you really step back.

for a second you're like who knows what. the you know how could I know how could. I know that that's real I don't know I. mean could have could have not took it. took the hit though oh it was crazy dude. yeah that image him yelling fight yeah. fight my god dude what in I didn't know. put that on the American flag yeah you. know put that right where the stars are. it's that's the wildest thing I think. I've ever seen is a a guy gets. shot and then Champions like a like a.

like a guy who tore his ACL yeah on the. field and yeah I mean that image is just. insane the craziest thing is I've seen. the a guy on the right at the UFC fights. like seven times I was going to say he's. his like he's his number one guy that. guy he looks so familiar it's like so. many things were crazy about this. um I was let me think where was I at oh. yeah so I was in yeah I was in Vegas. we're waiting we're going to go to the. show I went to watch Diplo was playing.

at um like a day party somewhere so we. St I stopped by there um he comes. walking up he's going on stage he's like. dude guess they shot Trump and I was. like told you that swear to God he goes. they shot Trump yeah and I was like what. is it a new song or something he goes no. they shot. Trump I was like no [ __ ] way dude I. mean and nobody had said anything and. he's like Yeah man they shot him and he. goes oh this was best he goes and my.

[ __ ] dad just W like like the door. was closed walking out to the patio and. he didn't know and he [ __ ] walked. right into it. dude and it was like it was the same. thing now I mean it is it is just as. disturbing I I agree look you got to. care about the men closest in your life. for sure but it was just so when he told. me those things back to back dude and I. was like those aren't exactly the same. but um you know I'd love to meet your. I'd love to meet your dad I hope you. feeling okay right um similar injury. yeah and then he just got up there to.

started [ __ ] get part party keeps. going but so that was just kind of. strange and then oh he showed me the. video on his phone of the kid of the uh. of of the shooting yeah yeah and the. video started and he wouldn't forward. the video you could tell it was like a. long video and I'm yeah you like skip. forward a little bit Yeah but it was. nice I'm like is dier really giving me. me this much time to stand here like. he's just got like I feel bad I'm. wasting his time like I'll move the. cursor but it's his phone yeah you're. not move the cursor on somebody else's. phone that's interesting that's so. flagrant to touch someone else's phone.

what was the kid's name that did it what. they got him right they got the he's. dead and gone and Thomas Tommy Thomas. Crooks Tommy Crooks it sounds like it. yeah Tommy sounds like yeah Tommy Crooks. who did it Thomas Crooks yeah but then. you see a picture of the kid and you're. like. what. no well one of the wildest Things is. um that people are saying there's no way. did you see the diagram of where it. happened no no is it really what is it.

intricate bring that up the diagram of. like who where he shot the layout of. what it looked. like it's. like oh he was right next to. the right and this is like Trump was. speaking like off this way right that's. why he got his that right ear right yeah. yeah yeah go to that let me see if that. helps a little bit wow location law. enforcement snipers on. roof St Trump was speaking what were the. snipers doing while they they couldn't.

see the gunman bro it looks like the. only build the only roof that was close. to them was that one so how did they not. and people were saying you seen the. videos where people were like hey. there's a guy right there and they. didn't see it huh a little weird this. [ __ ] dude now this could be easily an. actor that's me that's that is me me. with one of those M silicone masks on. from it's like the guy G hat that you. buy at the store that comes with the.

hair what he's his face is going well he. was he was up there we was yelling they. didn't know we kept saying dude he's on. the roof dude they wasn't. listening I mean you could that M we. could play it but that's exactly what it. is I think play 20 seconds of it. couldn't see him but we could hear. him so we walked up oh it is a fake five. to seven minutes of trump speaking I'm. estimating here I have no idea he's got.

chew Ino got chew stuck in his neck he. notic the guy. crawling Army you know bear crawling up. the roof of the building beside us 50 50. ft away from us so we're standing there. you know we're pointing we're pointing. at the guy crawling up the roof and he. had a gun right he had a rifle we could. clearly see him with a rifle absolutely. I called him out and no one did anything. the police down there running around on. the ground we're like hey man there's.

guy on the roof with a rifle and the. police were like huh what you know like. like they didn't know what was going on. you know we're like hey right here on. the roof we can see him from right here. we see him you know he's he's crawling. the police were huh what and cops myself. I'm like why is Trump still speaking why. have they not pulled him off the stage. I'm standing there pointing at him for. you know 2 three minutes Secret Service. is looking at us okay stop it I'm going. to call this go do something dude yeah. what are you doing you're pointing at. him for Toth what are you [ __ ] just.

finishing a beer [ __ ] 50 feet away. you have God gives you one chance to be. a [ __ ] hero and instead you pop open. another [ __ ] Bush light dude both of. these gentlemen uh don't are just. interesting creatures these are actors. dude dude this is a [ __ ] the backup. dude they got this dude off of Teemu. this announcer look what he's even using. using to interview him yeah that's not. even that's a mop it's not even a. microphone that's a s.

Swiffer I don't try this is very. untrustworthy that's so un unworth dude. I don't like it but to think though. right so they secure perimeter imagine. seeing okay you have a 20-year-old he. walked over there with a rifle bag he. walked like a half a mile I think it. says and nobody said anything that's. that's the part to me that's. like half a mile a long way to walk with. a big ass rifle with a [ __ ] rifle now. you are in PA it is a trump rally so the.

weird thing is you almost expect. everybody there to be walking with a. rifle they give you one on the way in. yeah yeah so you kind of expect a lot of. that like yeah this is this is a part of. it right yeah that's true like the. Ambiance you know what I'm saying like. if it's at a Biden rally somebody a. rifle You' be like oh what the [ __ ]. going on but I feel like at a trump it's. more like a you know American symbolic. NRA bring your guns plenty of time this. crazy these people are watching him. right here there he is right. there right there you see him he's.

laying down you see him yeah he's laying. down. here. what's they see a guy that guy's walking. with his. child yeah look there he. is godal. we have. crial. the wow I've never seen on the.

roof how on Earth are they not in. recorded history with the best qu in. fact if they could ever put up a chart I. don't. know okay that's I can't tell what's. going on now but yeah just unbelievable. so yeah you start to wonder was this put. together but how do you convince a. 20-year- older this go do something like. that you know pack of cigarettes and a. you know I don't know some gas money 20.

what were you doing a 20 you could. convince me of almost anything at 20 oh. I hope the photos don't show up I know. that yeah 20s 20s are tough 20s are a. time when I could I be convinced to get. on a roof. and it's a good point huh I don't 20 I. don't maybe I don't know you're so. gullible um it just depends on uh sorry. I was saying it came out that. Thomas Crooks was featured in a Black. Rock commercial I saw this he was in. Black Rock in a in an advertisement for.

black rock this is where it gets real. shaky this is where it gets real. shaky it's like a it's like a commercial. for black rock it is yeah it was like a. commercial and he's in. school look right there. wow wow so creepy [ __ ] dude it's. everything gets a little twisted dude. but now Will trump be able to speak. publicly somewhere again like how are. they even going to manage this moving.

forward they're going to have to do what. they do with the Pope you know the pope. mobile you know the pope shell they'll. just give him a trump shell put him in a. little um Trump tube yeah he'll name it. he'll sell it yeah he better have like. you need protection you got to get a. trump tube they shut me they shoot me. they can shoot you yeah that like the. pope Pope oh that's cool it is dope why. doesn't like Jeep should sell that you. know someone in La would buy that. someone in be cruising around that well. remember that chick that bang the. Clippers on her she wore that visor all.

the time yeah yeah yeah what was that. chick's name my little silly rabbit that. girl was so weird so funny I'm his. right-and man. arm she was brilliant but dude yeah I. just I I mean I can't even believe it. the craziest thing is yeah that girl. you're almost like what the it almost. feels like it's all part of it just like. I'm almost not even I'm surprised mhm. but we're the it's theater it all feels.

like theater yeah we're in the middle of. like the craziest play we've ever we've. ever lived that's what it feels like and. what act are we in though are we in the. third act you think is this it I. think you know it's funny to think it. could be like Co was. intermission Co was intermission that's. what I call it now I call that. intermission dude dude I love that and. now we're seeing the the rest of the. play is about to play out [ __ ] now it's. on this is oh and there's the lady right. there who is that says female Shane.

Gillis that's not doing her best work. what you see that lady tried to Holst. her a gun a few times it did it just. couldn't wouldn't go in yeah that's. tough yeah I think that's my aunt liy. there's no way she's made bombs here say. he's. like but this is crazy putting him in. the car well the crazy thing is they. don't even bring him down to the ground. when they're at the podium they stand. him back up up walk walk him off an. easier Target which is crazy and he. keeps saying let me get my.

shoes um well they were nice if they're. nice and new Customs you do want to get. those back on they probably are yeah uh. it's funny this is what they train for. this is unbelievable get him in that get. them in the car and then they slam on. the door lady puts her glasses on put. your shades on dude you don't to see. your. eyes that's wild can you even imagine. though like your job is Secret there's. so many it's all downtime I'm also. shocked that they wear sunglasses the.

Secret Service doesn't have like a thing. that they can permanently put around. their eyes taking on and off sunglasses. yeah pain in the ass and I I Lose I'm. I'm going to the pair I brought in here. today I'm going to lose it I'm going to. leave it here in the studio lose them. all the. time yeah I'm trying I just you start to. wonder what is it a conspiracy they do. they want us to think it's a conspiracy. cuz now there's no like the guy's been a. martyr after the justice system went. after him right whatever you think like. I've always thought that Trump is a. shady businessman right do I think that.

he's a very personable guy I don't know. I don't know him well enough the most. interesting thing I've seen him do uh. was when he's turned like that and said. fight it showed like that he because. there's a lot of people think oh he just. want they're going to want you know to. turn back around yeah and face the crowd. again and face the crowd and face the. shooter too I mean you're you don't know. what the [ __ ] going on right you're. making yourself visual that's that was. really interesting to me man you know. what I'm saying like he's right so bold.

and those other guys well the other. Secret Service like please get down. because their their heads are. targets [ __ ] it's just crazy you talk. have you seen about this guy on the. internet the guy with that hat that. goofy Fedora in the background oh yeah. this guy they're he's all over the. Internet they're who is that I don't. even know but he's they his name's come. up a 100 times the guy who's holding his. phone and they say clown uh that guy's a. [ __ ] he's a Simpsons charactera. clown dude that's Matt groaning that's a.

Matt right that's Michael Jackson if he. never got molested and learn a dance. dude I feel like you know what I'm. saying it's insane well here's the crazy. part you have white dude you have Kappa. Sig right behind him just smiling like. why aren't all those people hiding. that's what I didn't get no Panic no. Panic they were just shooting no Panic I. mean they show the tape that guy doesn't. even Flinch fedorin fedorin that's his.

name yeah. fedorin wouldn't you if somebody starts. shooting at somebody Gone Gone AB I'm. I'm crawling on the ground and I'm out. of there later email me we'll talk to. you later I'm a go I'm absolutely out. I'm not hanging out at all do you think. a marksman could have been accurate. enough just to graze him on. purpose that would be too hard honestly. maybe those guys are good dude they. could not they could shoot an earring. off somebody's ear look at him there.

there's Vincent that's his name Vincent. just hanging. out shooting happens he still stood up. he didn't even sit down when the first. shots rang out he just hanging out now I. do know it says on the internet he has. bad knees but he just stood up just. hanging out yeah but what fight fight pH. no Panic pretty incredible I don't know. what they want us to believe that's a. good question do they want us to think. it's a conery maybe yeah because then. then the wheels get spinning more yeah. right yeah for sure man you don't think.

Biden has anything to do with it I don't. I mean I I wouldn't be surprised if like. the FBI or the department of Jus or one. of them there's something going on there. I would be surprised if somebody who's. compromised at secret service but I. don't know how you convince a large. group of people you know like you have. to convince the local police as well. it's like pretty exhausting I don't. think I could name five police officers. in Pennsylvania that would probably not. stand up to help for for Trump probably. like a lot of those guys are you know. military and and police a lot of them.

are Trump supporters unless people are. getting bribed money yeah but it's just. interesting I don't know how you figure. that out and then but yeah how does a. 20-year-old kid use a ladder get up it. just is like there's nobody standing in. any of these areas no one yeah no one's. going what are you doing not one guy. just one walk by guy what are you doing. yeah that guy he didn't get any what are. you. doing I I mean this is going to make for. it's just unfuckingbelievable ladder he. brought the ladder did he plant it.

beforehand bro he set up beforehand he. set it up beforehand so he went there. before set up the. ladder dude that building is looks like. it's about 12 feet. right huh I wonder what business is in. there oh they didn't secure it says now. uh SEC Secret Service did not secure the. nearest tall building a ladder had been. placed in advance of the shooting on the. building attendees alerted law. enforcement to the presence of the. shooter. so little shaky dude man I've had uh.

I've had I've had experience with bad. habits bad habits gosh I still exper I. you know I'm still I still bad habit. from time to time that's right did you. know that around 73% of American adults. report having one or more unhealthy. Behavior well if you've got a bad habit. that you just can't seem to kick. you might want to pay attention to what. fume has created for People Like Us fume.

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QR code on screen say Chow to your bad. habits today you know when I started a. podcast uh having an online store was. the the furthest thing from my mind or. even. imagination uh we started our store a. man was making um shirts with his. brother my buddy Kevin in a basement in. uh akan and I think his brother was. dealing with alcoholism or whatever but. um and that worked well for a while but. then we had to scale up and as we.

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Theo um you golf a lot man I golf too. much do you it's the only thing I love. if I'm not doing standup and work it's. the thing that like escapes I get to. escape I don't have to think about. anything yeah turn off my phone don't. have to talk to anybody let just go do. it it's honestly just it's a it's just a. way to hang out with friends and goof. and feel like a kid remember when we. were kids yeah you would just hang out. you didn't need a reason to hang out you.

would just hang out. now yeah got to have a thing you could. knock on your friend's door hey is. William home yeah we'll get he'll come. outside what's going on nothing you. would just sit and hang you didn't need. an end game there was no like purpose. and we don't do and you get older and. then you stop doing that yeah and you're. like come over and they're like why I. just want to say hi no nah dude see I. got wife yeah I got a wife dude I can't. do so then now golf is a let's go hang. out yeah let's just go putts around and.

hang out yeah in the Sun be outside I. mean which I don't like that's my. biggest Bill Bill Burr's always like. you're gonna get cancer keep golfing. you're gonna get cancer keep it up keep. it up see what happens that's what he. says all the time I said I like it it's. I enjoy it I just put on as much as I. sunscreen and I'll you know whatever. whatever man what am I going to do not. enjoy it yeah you got to be alive yeah. and jelly roll too what other. impersonation which one do you do that I. really love jelly roll jelly roll I just.

saw uh he came to The Comedy Store with. uh him and MGK and they were then they. went. to Saddle Ranch and jelly roll for. people that don't know sadd Ranch is a. mechanical bull in the center of the bar. he got on it he set the record nuh-uh. yeah he set the record for longest bull. ride longest bull ride with arms in the. air some people have to hold on Jelly. Roll had arms up you're lying no bring. it up he set the record for longest bull. ride at Saddle Ranch on. sunset jelly rolled it and it didn't.

even look hard to be honest with you it. looked pretty easy well were you looking. at the. bull not much of a different I mean it. looked kind of seamless now reports from. the bull. are we got a report back for the bull. just a different story for the bull MGK. m a photograph with a young fan at. Ronnie racky and jelly rolls performance. at sadle R there's no video of jelly. roll on the bull they got to be. something he they had to have him on the. bull unless you know he probably. requested no videos during that time it. could be it maybe it was like a special. thing and people weren't allowed to.

video then that little kid looks like. he's going that's a little young for a. jelly roll an MGK show but yeah you I. guess yeah that's that is your future. ticket ticket you know ticket buyer what. else is going on man you know honestly. nothing I'm I'm taking the summer down. I'm going to yo what are you guys going. to do you taking a vacation yeah going. to Hawaii in a week two weeks what part. I'm going to uh I'm not going to say it. out loud not. it yeah but I'm going to a SP that I've. never been to before in Hawaii and um we.

just want to have like a little get away. but we I don't go to the I don't go to. like you and your wife yeah I don't go. to Exotic locations just to like go to. the beach so we're doing Advent doing. stuff I want to go do stuff we're taking. like a um we're taking a like a. guided hike tour we're doing a they give. you a we're going to rent a Jeep and go. like tour the island in these little. spots they tell you to go to yeah want. um a spear fishing uh class take me out.

there and learn how to Huck dude dude. that would be. sick I want to do that I want to spear. fish so bad dude we had a show the other. night Amir uh K was uh on the show to. and he fishes and he um he's good huh. he's good he Fu he brought fresh Sashimi. to the show did he really oh yeah he. goes out and catches it he's done this. before I've seen this yeah and he just. shows up he had a bottle of soy sauce on. him something just sitting there. slurping it dude it's good huh God it. was so good fresh from when it's fresh. it's unbel it's the best thing in the.

world catch and eat is so so good yeah. that would that's one thing like I would. love to do that I would love to sneak up. on an animal um and kill it right there. and eat it yeah my brother made squirrel. at uh Fourth of July and one girl show. up and ate all the [ __ ] squirrel. this [ __ ] kind of I guess I should say. well it's a pretty self-involved well. there's all the squir squirrel don't. have a lot of meat on it how much meat's. on a squirrel I mean you got to catch a.

bunch of them to make anything good I. mean he had like four or five my. brother's kind of you know he's a wild. cat he put on Facebook he moved into. like this rural area and put on Facebook. anybody having trouble with squirrels. hit my line right and so uh yeah the. amount of meat on a squirrel can vary. three ounces that's not a lot Jesus [ __ ]. I wouldn't even let it live dude yeah. leave it alone you got to have enough. substantial meat for me to to kill you I. can't kill you if you don't have enough. meat I'm not killing yeah so this is why. I'm not a fan of shrimp there there's.

not enough there yeah I'd rather kill. something that has a lot of something to. eat yeah like I don't need like crawfish. I don't need little tiny bison Buck I. want something Russian thick yeah yeah. yeah thick yeah something that's. worthwhile yeah 100% dude um what else. happened but life uh life is good this. summer I'm going to take it off and just. relax and yeah how long is the trip. going to be and what else are you going. to do week and some change and then uh. I'm going to come back and I'm going to. go to Chicago to see family I'm going to.

do a couple of charity events uh which. I'm trying to get into more yeah I like. that man I I I think I want to do more. and more and more for like all the stuff. that I really like is like involving um. Children's Charities for kids with. cancer or debilitating injuries or you. know I don't know like I want to support. adults that are sick but kids that are. sick to me gets my heart. first yeah if adultery sick it's kind of. their fault a lot of times you did it. yeah yeah and you've also had enough.

right you've eaten enough you've had. enough all right let somebody else have. some yeah I think yeah catching up with. kids is really important and it's like. we've been so fortunate just even have. some of like to be able to have some of. the fun and opportunities and neat. things you know I start thinking about. that too it's like I got to create more. of a way to do something more positive. you know for you for young people. because it's they you know if you can. help the next generation of whatever it. is it's like what you do in comedy. bringing people out and introducing new. Comics to the world that's an important. thing so in the other side of it I want. to try to you know like St judees and.

all that stuff children's hospital and. like I think those are important so I'm. going to do that and then um then I'm. going uh I get to throw out the first. pitch at Wrigley no yeah and sing the. seventh inning stretch no let's go thank. you I'm excited September wow uh 96. September 6 I do it and I sent the email. from the Cubs the the Cubs reached out. and I sent the email to my dad D and my. dad wrote back finally made it you. finally made it of all the things I've. achieved this is the only thing he was.

like good you finally did it yeah yeah. SE dunon would be proud he wrote yeah. baby yes he would he said Andre yeah. Andre said now Andre Dawson can rest. yeah finally puts it down wow dude no. that's amazing I grew up watching the. Cubs man my grandfather played like Tri. like AAA ball in Chicago or Iowa. whenever their farm team used to be over. there he played for one of their Farm. teams long time ago um and so we would. sit all the time and watch the Cubs you. know cu the WG and O you.

know Sean DST Rick suan Sandberg oh dude. when I was a kid I thought his name was. Ryan by the way his name is Ryan no yeah. all these years I thought when I was a. child I thought his [ __ ] kid Ryan SRE. no his name is Ryan look it up it's Ryan. but name is Ry Ryan yeah like a orange. uh out r y n e Ryan I Ryan all these. years dude I traded did 70 of his cards. as Ryan Sandberg yeah how did he.

misspell his own name I know poor guy a. poor guy Ryan sber yeah sanberg Mark. Grace Legends oh yeah d i I got to meet. Mark Grace one time dude I was sitting. in a bar uh s he was sitting in a bar. and my buddy told me he was there so I. went up and pulled up and he had some. great stories dude those guys are just. that baseball was just a you know. different game man I mean every sport is. but something about baseball because. they used to you know Harry KY the our. notorious announcer that will frell did. that people know you he was a blackout I.

mean he was drunk 90% of the time yeah. and and and still held it together. enough to get to the get to the you know. get to the stadium on time drink about. 13 old Styles yeah and just make it. through you can't do that anymore look. at that guy he's 26 right there. yeah he hit on my mom one time nuh yeah. one time hit on my mom that was great. yeah it could have been Harry Care's son. she blew it she dropped the bag [ __ ].

dude yeah he flirted with he goes hey. hey pretty. lady yeah look at it the best hey pretty. lady the. best he like got some look at these. ladies there a triple yeah right look at. the cans on that one look at the stems. on this BR double. time yeah he hit on my mom see I get to. go through the first pitch in September. that'll be a big deal for me and then go. see the Bears home opener are you are.

you going to do you ever go to Titans. games in tennessy sometimes I do what I. like about Titans is it's very casual. there it's like nice fans good not crazy. you're it's not like you're Philadelphia. no lunatics no no real lunatics right. it's like just safe yeah play that up. right there Harry car is. great. fil well she wasn't in the right field. bleacher yesterday. [Laughter]. [Applause]. well some of the lovely SES you.

see AR you trying to get me. barred that began to look like a. strip I mean that was the thing about. Wrigley they used to wear people would. wear like g string bikinis into the in. the Outfield that's that's America yeah. they got to bring some of that [ __ ] back. well when they talk about make America. great again that's what we're talking. about yeah g strings in the in the in. the Outfield that's what we're we're not. talking about anything else we're just.

talking about that yeah just let things. be man everything now has a rule or it's. [ __ ] up or something dude everything. has a rule that's a really good call. everything has a rule now it's like. can't do that yeah can't do that oh you. can't do it like that you got to do it. like this you got to do this but I don't. know if that's because we ruin just. humans ruined it yeah we did humans. ruined it all that's all our fault we. [ __ ] it up we instead of letting. things be and just trying to enjoy. things we [ __ ] it up we just want.

we're greedy we're selfish we're self-. involved uh we don't care about each. other because if we really cared about. each other we wouldn't we wouldn't go. out of our way to try to hurt people or. bring people down we don't care it's a. bad thing well and if some people if. once there's some bad apples other. apples start to be like I I think there. can be a tendency bad rubs off yeah kind. of rubs off or you have to also get bad. now to be able to take care of yourself.

you know you got to bring yourself to a. different level um you're a good apple. thanks man you are too you've always. been a good apple you are too dude and. you know what um I think the older we. get in life and career the more I start. to really see through the smoke of all. the [ __ ] and start to care about. what I really care about like things. that you I guess you really learn what. really matters it's stuff that your. parents would say or older people would. say to you and all those cliches are.

true it really is true that you just you. slow down you step back you start to. kind of see things for what they really. are and you start to just cherish things. that matter you don't give a [ __ ] about. the other stuff anymore yeah I don't. care about small stuff as much as I used. to it just doesn't matter you just got. to enjoy it yeah I think some of that it. is wild if you're able to uh get some. age that you're able to get some uh. perspective perspective it is nice but. that was what is that Bobby Lee with. Richard Simmons rest Rich Simmons just. passed away man and some on the internet.

are saying this is Bobby's fault oh I. wouldn't be surprised God Bobby was uh. well he was a Japanese girl at one point. and then he zoom in on that no wonder. Richard's on him like that right really. cute. God really cute Richard wow that looks a. AI for some it see that that also looks. fake oh oh wow it's just crazy to see. like I bet Richard teased him or just.

touched his neck I think it's vice versa. I think they both Bobby is a big tease. Bobby uh well he said he let some guy. eat. his but or whatever one time one time. he's been involved in some crazy stuff. yeah I think a few a few times yeah. that's what's crazy I think I would not. want some guy to do it that to me no not. for me I know look it's hard to be a. business partner and and one of my best. friends with someone that I respect so. little that's it's.

tough I love him to death he's my. perfect uh my he's my comedy compliment. I've never met somebody more that I feel. the most in tune with comedically really. just because he's he's. um it just feels like we our brains. connect on a just a dumb perfect level. and I understand him and he gets he gets. me and he knows what gets me mad and I. know what gets him mad it's just one. it's something about it so fun yeah I.

feel like a kid when I'm with him. whenever we get together it's the most. fun I've said this a hundred times it's. the best thing that's ever happened in. my career of all the [ __ ] I've done of. all the things that I could be like that. was cool I'm proud of that this is by. far the most fun I've ever had in my. life it's a it is a blessing from the. universe and thank God me and that. little dumpling are together cuz it's. the it's the most fun I've ever had I've. never had that much fun in anything in. my career no no crushing on stage no TV.

show Accolade really nothing wow it. feels so because it's so free oh you. guys have a blast man I mean you guys. have created a top 20 podcast together I. mean it's unbelievable yeah you know. it's it's you it's what you've gotten to. do you know it's isn't this rewarding. this is like how fun I get to have fun. but you've also got to do so much acting. um does it come compare do you yeah like. now that you've had a good taste of both. does one really compare are they two. totally different things obviously.

they're different such different animals. but I mean they're both rewarding in. their I mean like the acting is. rewarding in its own little way I like. the acting stuff if I get to work with. people that I'm impressed by that's what. it you know what I'm saying like that's. to me it's like if I do something with. someone that I'm intrigued by or. impressed by their skills and ability. it's cool to see people do cool work. it's just a cool thing to watch oh yeah. you know like when you see a pro like. you know who the most Pro dude on Earth. I think John Cena might be the most Pro. dude on Earth yeah he was on Whiskey.

Ginger yeah he's the man yeah he's. responsible he's smart he's sweet he's. caring he's hardworking he's such a fun. nice like wonderful dude he's a pro he's. he is a pro I I don't even know how to. like articulate it the right way but. incredible gracious sweet it never steps. on toes never is disrespectful to. anybody never has an ego about anything. thing it's wild he is a lesson in life. I've tried to like I watch him when we. were working together I was like this.

dude is he's a g well we're com I think. what we have to remember so now is we're. comic so something is [ __ ] up about us. we were in that returns basket remember. 100% dude we went right back you know. what I'm talking about when you see like. the sale basket or whatever or the like. 40 Cent candles or whatever you're like. this [ __ ] ain't going to burn you. know it's like that's so a lot of times. I feel like we I'll compare myself to. other in some ways I like God but then I. got to remember I something was wrong. with me but you're spe it's in a good.

way you're speci in a good way because. we we're able to maneuver it enough. right and make it worth something right. we're the you know we are the we're the. shopping cart with the wobbly wheel the. one that nobody wants yeah that's we're. we're that we're wobbly wheel and you. know what when you do take it you do. realize it's kind of fun it's funny it. goes off on its own it'll hit the wall a. few times but it's fun it's kind of fun. oh it'll feel right into a [ __ ] cute. mom butt it might help you out yeah. we're the wobbly wheel and you know what.

that's but that's you're right we are. different we're a different species and. we feel it sometimes we feel. threatened because people don't get us. or we're weird or we try weird [ __ ] you. know you you try a joker a bit and it. doesn't work and people are like what. but that's the Bea you're but that's the. beauty of it if you didn't have that. everything would be real formatted and. real simple so they those other people. from the other side of it they love to. see us try cuz they don't do that so. that's you know what I mean like I've.

had a bunch of people actors say to me I. oh man I don't know how you want to. improv those lines like why why do you. want to try and do that say well because. that's the adventure the risk is amazing. if you get something out that's worth it. and good it's like it's just telling a. new joke that works you know when you. write a new joke and it works oh oh the. first time you're like it feels. incredible it's the same thing as when. you land a good line it's the same it's. the same feeling oh I love that the day. somebody said Enigma and I was like. careful just don't say.

Enigma you know what I'm saying like. yeah you can't hard r i I can let you. get like you know I someone you upset. the [ __ ] neighbors you. know they'll accept Enigma if you're. going to say that say that inside you. have the Enigma inside keep those. enigmas inside um what's uh life like do. you have you don't have a family yet no. family no kids I don't think I'm I don't. think I'm going to really yeah I don't. think so' be such a fun dad man I would. but you know what I'd like at this age. in my life I think is now you know 40.

once the 40 number is real I think I'd. be willing to adopt and try to give. someone a a good life you know wow yeah. I think because at this age it'd be hard. to start with a baby as older as because. I feel older and uh it'd be tough so I. think that really yeah well dude I'll be. 80 when they're 40 yeah but that's their. their that's their problem yeah but I. I'd rather adopt a kid put him into a. phenomenal situ I feel like at this.

stage in my life it would be cool to. give someone a better life who had yeah. a tough life cuz a lot of kids have. these these you know man you see a lot. of this stuff and you see how hard. certain young people have it and and. there's you know there's no hope and. I've been blessed in life I'm so lucky. so it's like why not give someone else a. good opportunity I don't know yeah it'd. be cool if they had a contest too to be. your kid yeah well that was how that's. how I would organize it they'd have to. show off somehow I'd want to see their.

skills and abilities and talents I would. rank them I have a set system at home. that I've written out how high can you. jump you know I basically put them. through a combine you know what I mean I. I make my kids run the 40 oh you had. that great joke about uh Mex but people. coming over the border that they should. have to go through a um American Ninja. Warrior course yeah you want to get to. the country man I want him in here I. just I want to see him work for it a. little bit bro you got to [ __ ] it we. want the best. yeah we can't just have anybody but. that's that should be the standard just. like oh I think so and then also you.

could have rich people bet on it like in. the distance and use that money and use. that money yeah that's exactly right. well look when our when when when when. Europeans came over for Ellis Island you. had to you you had to be able to do 10. push-ups otherwise they wouldn't let you. in they turn you back around 10 push-ups. you had to get back on the boat and go. back so that's a standard we need to set. some kind of standard now you can show. up with asthma and we'll [ __ ] we'll. give you an inhaler yeah we'll give you. a [ __ ] free. wheelchair um thanks so much for coming. dude and the new tour what's it going to. be called the freeze Peach tour freeze.

Peach tour if you say it you'll know it. the freeze Peach there it is the freeze. Peach tour I love that dude the freeze. Peach the freeze Peach tour yeah one of. my uh one of my was uh oh rise up lights. you know oh yeah yeah yeah rise up. lights I love that um I'm so jealous. y'all going to Australia dude I have I I. love it down there me too because I shot. that movie in in with Cena and them in. Melbourne and uh it was just I don't did.

it come out I loved it huh what did the. movie come out yeah yeah it's on uh on. Amazon Prime Ricky steni on Amazon Prime. oh you were in Ricky St oh wait I I saw. that or not yeah me and Cena and Efron. and Jermaine Fowler and then uh I feel. horrible I didn't even see this no it's. all good brother come on man it's it's. uh it's fun man it's a fun movie Fairley. did it Pete Fairley the guy that did. Dumb and Dumber um and William H Macy in. the background holding it down who was. phen William HC dude unbelievable you. ever SE him the door to door salesman.

movie where he's selling soaps no what. movie is that he's incred dude he is put. up doorto door soap salesman see what. you get there he's so good man he was. such. a the story of Bill Porter Bill Porter. he he's such a cool smooth slick dude. and he uh he lives out he lives out in. the mountains does he in California no. not in California no he lives out in the. mountains wow door to door there he. is and he's and he's a and he's a soap.

sales oh there we go Bill Porter a man. of remarkable Spirit he'll touch your. heart he'll change your life yeah he was. mentally challenged or whatever and they. let him sell a little bit of soap dude I. used to work as an assistant this dude. sold Italian food or semi Italian or. whatever door too and so I think he was. trying to date my mom or something so he. gave me a job like just like cruising. going along with him and stuff nice it's. pretty cool except I remember all he had. to take like a cold cart with him and. all the stuff was so cold because he had.

to sell it a refrigerated yeah it's hard. remember I'd [ __ ] he'd like he'd be. like oh get the clams or whatever and I. like I'd [ __ ] it up you know like I. [ __ ] I was like I don't want to be in. the workforce I want to be. handicapped you just want but you want. someone to date your mom who's not uh. who's not cumbersome in their in their. job yeah that's the cumbersome. cumbersome job yeah the guy you want to. date your mom you want a guy in like you. know not regular sales not door to-door.

sales you want them to like call on on. customers yeah phone yeah yeah we didn't. desk job dad the desk job that's what I. had my mom remarried and my stepdad is a. was a yeah sales guy but he you know. phone desk job right you know go to an. office say hey Karen coffee water cooler. laun. lunch at you know lunch at. [Music]. uh get the whole crew out there know my.

dad likes my we buy my dad um his only. gift every year birthday Christmas same. gift every time I get him a gift card to. the Olive Garden that's what I get him. every time that's his F favorite thing. that's all he wants he goes and he sits. there and he has the zupa tasana and the. bread sticks M and he'll eat and eat and. eat and eat until they tell him sir you. know. let's not overstay our welcome. yeah like your family but but extended.

you know take a walk that's all I do we. buy them the if you've ever shut down an. Olive Garden you got a [ __ ] problem. that's all I'm gonna say dude my uh my. dad used. to he would take he would go drink. sometimes at this place called Tony. ponis that was the name of the place it. was like the name of that Tony Pon Tony. pon p and so we go over there and uh and. the lady he'd be like oh run up and down. the bar real quick and the lady will.

give you a candy right there I remember. that just there she just wanted to see. you sprint yeah I'd [ __ ] but on the. bar yeah I'd [ __ ] Sprint down there. Sprint right back and then give me a. little chocolate yeah well I was going. to say which one was it was it a good. candy or one of those like it was a. Hershey Kiss usually I love me a Hershey. Kiss they were good they're just a. there's not there look you know what. Hershey Kiss it's not trying to do [ __ ]. yeah you know what we are here I am you. know what we are we're Christian. chocolates yeah God loves us and we love. we're not we're we're not not filling my. [ __ ] butt with caramel like some of.

these other [ __ ] quiz you know do. this is Tony ponis we give original. American god-given chocolate Hershey. Kiss in and out dude I wanted to do this. thing called the chocolate shoulder. challenge so you take a Hershey Kiss. right you put one on each shoulder okay. and then you try to eat it all oh my God. how how it is but without making this. one fall is that what it is yeah right. that's so hard you can't make one fall. it is fall it's un I don't have that.

kind of neck Mobility that's no one does. yeah but every now and then somebody. will do it like a um well it got to be. somebody with like a nice long neck. who's got a long neck in the comedy game. uh it's got to be someone we know who's. Fox maybe he's necky he's extremely. necky he's neck he's got that tennis. body tennis neck lanky necky yeah. looking over the net love love mhm all. love there he is Kirk's so funny dude he. was in my favorite movie The Patriot one. of the funniest comedians I think uh.

working also one of the funniest just. people to be around like right when he. walks up you kind of there's just. something about his energy the joke is. already kind of set up yeah do the. picture to the left of that or to the. right of the one that you have on right. now I mean that's as necky as a guess. that guy could kill the Hershey. challenge oh he's a [ __ ] necro filc. dude if he uh dies yeah people are going. to order they're going to get a they're. going get three and a half ounces out of. his neck a big time well you know his uh. his casket is already designed he said. he pre-bought it to one of those you.

know those um you know like a magician. when he cuts saws a woman in half and. her head is outside of the casket but. the whole body's inside that he he has. that exact same one oh wow yeah cuz his. neck is long enough that they couldn't. they said he'd have to break his neck to. smos it in there so his head will be out. it's tough well it's a crazy thing when. they bear you some people they have to. break they're like to save money they're. like we can break your arms and legs and. move them closer to your body you have a. little less square footage I'm like just. [ __ ] throw me in a dump truck don't. [ __ ] don't sit there and break my I.

don't want some guy in a basement of a. YMCA at night breaking my [ __ ] bones. to save 85 bucks spend the extra 85 but. it's just like Jesus Christ slide me off. just slide me off a cliff slide me off a. cliff I don't just put me down in a. ravine that's like I learned you know. the song You know the song The Way. um uh where were they going without ever. knowing the way remember that you anyone.

can see the road that they walk on his. okay so I learned online that song is. about a story that the lead singer read. about a couple right look at the history. of the way it's about an old couple who. used to Vacation somewhere and um she. had dementia and he was old it's tragic. and they would take this they would take. this trip that's the couple. and they got lost and Austin Bas couple. right Austin Bas couple fast ball top.

the charge with their hits on the way. yes and and this real couple uh the. story is so sad they they like would go. to the same location I think it was like. Zion or something like that or The. Archers and they drove somewhere and. they got lost in the you know the. dementia you know they wandered until. they um until they were found dead in. like a ravine no crazy yeah yeah they. wandered and got lost so that song as. beautiful as it was when we were young I. mean young people don't know that song. at all but it's about this old couple. getting lost it's this darkest [ __ ] it's.

a dark story wow yeah it says for Lila. and Raymond Howard the tradition was. Pioneer Day that's right in Temple right. and they would drive there and they. would just. go and they uh right showing symptoms of. uh memory loss and he had had surge. brain. surgery um and they just got out of. their car and they started walking and. they just. disappeared where were they going. without ever knowing isn't that so. creepy now that you hear that as a kid I.

sung that song being like anyone can see. the R I thought that was a great song. and here I am just two senior citizens. just dehydrated dying behind a [ __ ]. rock buzs pecking their head apart it's. terrible fast the song's lyrics this is. way better thank you the songs lyrics. revolve around a couple who decided to. leave their lives behind by going out. driving without telling their children. about their plans their car breaks down. during the trip and they continue on fo. the course expresses the idea that the. couple are achieving Happiness by loing. T losing touch with the world even. though they may never see their home.

again. wild wild sad do you ever have a do you. ever ever have a thought. about disappearing disappearing yeah. sometimes I think about like like Tupac. and maybe like two more oh dude when I. was in we tried to like fake my D or. something a while back maybe like 11. years ago or something well if you got. us this staff can't help I mean Nick is. going to blow it there's no doubt he'll. blow that easily dude he'll leak he'll. leak the conversation yeah he's going to.

leak the. plans um but what happened oh my buddy. Paul he's like dude we should fake your. own death I think there's some money in. it or whatever and I was like oh [ __ ]. what do I have to do and he's like you. just to be quiet and just go out to Palm. Springs or something for a couple months. or go to Syracuse or something yeah and. I'm like oh [ __ ] man uh and I think did. like 3 days or something and then I was. like ah [ __ ] it did I want to live again. and so he' like called a couple people. and been like oh I think something's.

happened at Theo or something so then he. just called him back and I was like oh. no no no he's just fine you can't yeah. you can't he was in Sacramento or what. it's too hard to go through with it but. if I feel like if I was going to. disappear I would go I'm telling it now. come find me I'll be most likely in bam. National Forest nice it's the most. beautiful place I've ever seen in my. entire look up Lake Louise this might. the prettiest place I've ever seen and B. is huge B was the first time I saw a. real Canadian moose I didn't real they. were as big as a school bus I I got out.

of my car with my Budd EP we were. laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. I couldn't believe how [ __ ] big it. was that's Lake Louise wow stunning B. National anywhere lose me and bamp. that's where I'll be I'll be in the. woods lose me and B love me and bamp. that might be the story too love me and. bamp baby if you find someone yeah lose. me and love me and bamp it just. something about it up there it's so. peaceful and and dude have a summertime. yeah yeah yeah right it's like that. right now it's stunning gowi I uh the. most beautiful place I've been to I.

think is or one place I really liked was. this place lake or uh an France can you. look it up. a. in an no a n e c y a n oh there it is. ancy France right there wow there's this. they have like a beautiful Lake there. like right in this small town it's. really really cool how' you end up there. with my girl we backpacking years ago. there it is right there wow just like a. nice little place there in the Hills you. get you a little.

backpacking that was nice we just were. taking a train and just stopped there n. n France France n the oh yes Theo Von do. you know Theo Von one of my favorite. comedian Theo Von it is a it is a. pleasant their Accent on in in English. like you're good yeah cuz so many others. don't yeah like come and it's just. saying to you something it's it you're. like yeah yeah it just it uh well I went. to Jamaica and two guys you know I went.

we somebody had we went into a Starbucks. right founds out it was not a Starbucks. we go somebody had stole the sign and. put it up outside of their business. right so we go in you immediately you're. like this isn't a [ __ ] Starbucks. there's couches and [ __ ] dude yeah. there's no cake pops here yeah there was. a hammock I was like and then um. somebody goes Welcome to the starbucka. lounge and we're like where the [ __ ] are. we did we turn to go leave night fight.

dude really oh my God be on B knife. fight in the street dude well Urban. Cutlery dude that's it bro just butter. kniv couple of just a couple of Zoro. Brothers out there [ __ ] stabbing each. other dude um what else man what. happened with you and Bobby alov do you. remember that yeah it was fun we had a. good it was really really fun dude you. were so funny on there she she was she. was uh it was easy to kind of play into. this world that she does she stays in.

the world of like she was doing like. musicians and then she was doing uh then. she would just do like highle. celebrities like Cuban and all these. guys and I had so much fun with her. because she had said they originally. they pitched me her team T pitched me do. you want. to teach her how to golf no I'm sorry. teach her how to do standup I said. absolutely not but I said I am going to. go golf next week you want to meet and I. can teach her how to golf or we can do a.

golf thing and that's how this stuff was. born and she showed up late with a big. attitude and I started yeah she's kind. of like a black woman a little yeah yeah. yeah a little tiny black woman and I. started uh I was you know just goofing. with her the whole time and it was so. much fun now she's you know off and. running she she's got a whole her career. like exploded now her podcast is bigger. than ever she stays busy man yeah I saw. her at Formula 1 she was there with and. some of her friends they were having a. great time I wanted to go to that I I.

wanted to go to that so bad it's too. confusing it's like you don't know. what's going on and everybody's like. rich and everything you're like what the. [ __ ] so rich and it's all and and you. but you don't really get to see anything. that's the worst part of the pit it's. down here you're like this it's like. being that's that's the irony of the. best seats in a football game are not. all the way down cuz you're this I agree. front rows is trash yeah you can't. you're doing this all the time time you. want to my show when they're in front. row I'm like God it sucks dude they're. doing this the whole time their neck is. craned their neck is the Las Vegas crane.

the whole time dude what was um one of. the early concerts he ever went to do. you remember uh the very one of the very. first concerts I went to probably well I. remember I think this this one sticks. out for some reason it I don't know if. it was my one of my first but no doubt I. saw them and a band called face to face. do you remember those guys face to face. to face face to face face to face and no. doubt we're playing which it was a night. is that them no no no it they were um. face to face to face that's you're.

thinking about that's Duran Duran I. think where I could no that's no that's. that's no that's a Culture Club but but. I think face to face and no doubt were. one of my first and then wow who took. you to. that I probably was. 16 love her dude I think she's one of. the. greatest tragic Kingdom that album is so. so good I became a teenage girl while. listening to that I was like this I'm. this is my girl face oh I cried at. school when someone saying Jewel once oh.

yeah well that'll hit you hard and I. just i' never heard a woman. sing and then you hear her regular. talking she's. like New Orleans Avenue it's so good. that and then I saw uh and then the Up. and Smoke tour Up and Smoke look that up. that's right cypess Hill yeah Up in. Smoke tour was like Method Man and red. man uh Cypress Hill was anybody black or.

white with. weed and the crazy thing was you were so. high they could have told you somebody. was on stage you'd have been like. wouldn't have mattered yeah didn't even. know Nate Dog never was there they put. him on every picture he he I never saw. Nate dog once live they probably just. used him like uh he was late to every. show promo yeah he just never showed up. that's like uh boss man Dow was supposed. to come on the Pod and [ __ ] just. bailed 20 minutes after he's like I. ain't coming thanks man thanks for the.

heads up thanks boss man dude there he. is you've been demoted to uh assistant. boss brother I'll still listen to your. music but not for two weeks yeah that. was the first couple of those I saw. those like I saw D12 I saw Eminem and. D12 a lot of rap stuff and some Gwen. Stefani dude yeah I remember we had a uh. a fashion show at our school and some. girl sang Jewel and played the piano and. I just never like I don't think had a I. never really no woman ever really spoken.

nicely to me I don't think and it was. like I I just didn't even know what was. going on it was emotional yes and I just. remember [ __ ] balling and then. somebody yelled. out I was like holy [ __ ] [ __ ] dude let. me get these tears off quick [ __ ]. together dude I was like I'm only crying. because I'm thirsty and then I just. [ __ ] drank a bunch of it off my own. face. face. like that's actually more manly yeah I'm.

thirsty I and then you know what else I. saw I saw uh and then the other end of. the spectrum was uh my buddy uh uh John. took Martia saw took me to see uh Bella. Fleck Jam the jam band World string. cheese all those guys I got to see all. that stuff so I touched a lot of bases I. wanted to I liked I just wanted to go to. live shows I loved live shows I'd go to. almost any live show like if if someone. was like we're going to a live concert. uh this band is playing you know blah.

blah blah Aragon B whatever okay I. didn't even think twice I would go just. because I was like this is an. opportunity to go goof off and Disappear. With Friends into the night yeah I like. I didn't I wasn't really uh I wasn't. really picky now which is crazy I wish I. I should go to more shows I don't go to. as many shows cuz we work in. entertainment so it's hard you work at. nights when shows happen it's tough it's. just hard it's hard just looking day I. was like what shows could I go see I saw. red clay Strays recently they're great. if you get to see them um dude I.

remember yeah we got so I think we went. to 311 a couple times when I was in. school you know that was always fun were. phenomenal man and we went uh I got we. were leaving oh yeah we were leaving I. [ __ ] drilled some dude with my car. right HIIT his car Oh I thought you said. hit the guy no thank God he was in his. car when I hit him get out of my car run. up to his window he goes dude I'm so. sorry dude he was so [ __ ] up he. [ __ ] thought he hit. me apologize to you my bad you're like.

yes yeah dude you got to [ __ ] you got. to be careful Bud bro these streets are. small dude and I went and got back in my. car took off [ __ ] that dude was [ __ ]. up another time I went to Green Day that. might have been the first you ever saw. the opening band for them I was so high. I thought the opening band was Green Day. sang every Green Day song to while the. open B was up there I think it was like. R rusted r or I don't know who it was.

right saying all and then [ __ ] was. ready to leave my budd's like dude. they're not even on yet another time you. already had that Green Day show somebody. gave me some [ __ ] somebody gave me. some [ __ ] raccoon uh pills or. something and I was just [ __ ] out. there raccooning you know and I [ __ ]. couldn't couldn't see anymore so I could. only see with my hands right and so I I. wandered to the back and it started. feeling on a cop dude [ __ ] [ __ ] he. [ __ ] took let made me leave um and. then what else happened good at a.

concert um oh there was one thing I was. going to tell you oh dude so the other. night I'm in Las Vegas and my brother. came right and it was fun we had a great. time and then afterwards there's a. restaurant in the Wind Called Delila. right it's like a nice place yeah yeah. I've been there it's it's like yeah F. Scott's Fitzgerald's Vibe you know it's. pretty cool so we sit in there and uh. Fat Joe was in there so he goes on stage. Joey crack right Terror Squad love him. and at first like it's going pretty good. you know some people are kind of into it.

some people aren't I'm standing up like. kind of singing and cheering and stuff. because a a friend of mine is loves Fat. Joe and they're close and so I wanted to. be respectful right and uh but some. people are in there being a little bit. too cool but then he's like play another. one man and they [ __ ] play and then. people are like oh [ __ ] he did that song. too and then it kept [ __ ] stacking up. then he next thing you know because it. was NBA summer league or something going. on there so the play starts getting. packed he's been on stage for like 25. minutes then jaw rues in there he. [ __ ] brings jaw rule a baby damn so.

then that then acon is [ __ ] they were. like damn acon he's out of prison I what. I thought he got deported dude and he. [ __ ] pulls him up dude he got a work. release for him for about 10 minutes. brings him up on stage by the end dude. Fat Joe it was. unbelievable bro he that what a that's. what a show it was and unexpected no you. didn't know he was going on no oh that's. wild when that kind of stuff happens. that's unbelievable when they're like. yeah we'll just I guess we'll just play. a song yeah and someone shows up someone.

shows I've never I've heard about these. these this is like lore to me I've only. been at shows that are you know supposed. to happen I've never been lucky with. like dude and then it just turned into a. concert yeah lucky boy um before you get. out of here you've people see you with. the Kelsey all the time what's their. life like now do you know any from when. you first met them kind of do things. seem any different they're definitely. you know it's Fame and popularity are. interesting yeah and kind of scary so. scary and weird I mean I met Travis a.

while ago Jason I'm new I'm new to know. I met him through uh through Travis and. Travis is I I've said this before and I. mean it he's he's been the same since I. met him if I texted him now and said. joking around about something he would. he would joke just as we were back then. I think you know he's much more uh he's. much busier now than he's ever been. because of his life and his growth and. his career and then the the Confluence.

of him dating the most famous woman on. earth is wild but he's 100% the same cat. I mean like it's it's I I don't think. I've ever experienced at that level. where he's the same guy same guy as and. he's bigger than he's ever been but yeah. I don't know man he's been he's always. kind of been that dude and I think he. wasn't going to let this change him I. don't know if that's a good or a bad. thing I'm not smart enough to understand. but it's probably a good thing for sure. I hope I would hope so be in that League. too it's like you you know what I'm.

saying like yeah but it's it's it's like. a different kind of stardom now it's. weird and it's critical it's crazy. critical for no reason you know like the. fans. are they pick apart everything you wear. everything you do everything you say in. that Taylor Swift world so it's it's I. no thank you I don't I don't I don't. want that kind of we already get enough. criticism as comics and most of the time. it's like what do you we're [ __ ]. around like we're we're joking but with. him it's got to be it's poignancy it's. like everything has to be legitimized.

and talked about and I don't know how I. how he handles it but he does it really. well I think also he doesn't give a [ __ ]. because he's just enjoying life do you. think he's a government op there's been. a lot of people that say that you know. he was he has been coed by the. government many times to try to join. forces and he refuses from what I know. every time he calls me you know they. they offer him something to try to a. part of you know he's been offered to be. play for the Chargers 100% he will not. absolutely not no chance we're not doing. that they asked him to move to brussles.

for a little while the government and he. wouldn't do that so he's never he's. never really gone through with it. because there's no amount of money you. could convince him and he's not going to. do it he'll stand his ground Kelsey is. not going to work for the government. he's a stand your ground guy he's stand. your ground guy standing ground he's a. fight guy he is fight fight fight that. was crazy wasn't it it's amazing if I. get shot dude I'm out bro dude I'm. crawling out even even my ear is someone. as small as my ear the whole time yeah.

I'm cry I'm crying my ear my ear I'm I'm. certainly not fight that's a new level. of bravery no I will just post fight on. Twitter I wouldn't even post that's what. Twitter's for Twitter is for when you. get. shot then you say you yeah I wish they. would yeah try me one more time yeah I'm. not saying fight out loud that's just. begging for another person. person um do you see that Home Run Derby. winner let's get you out of here who was. that guy who won it Titan. Zayn and it's a child that's a.

phenomenal. name Titan Zayn Titan Zayn that is an. incredible name dude yeah you better be. good at something though six-year-old. Titan Zayn look at the size of that whoa. dude and that's a. woman my god oh that's a that's a guy. wow Jesus Christ holy [ __ ] dude and look. at the kids next to him they're a. quarter of his. size damn dude that's incredible Titan. zann bro the turn is amazing look at the.

turn the hips oh belt facing the target. it's all hip dude that's all hips dude. wow those end up same height as Bobby. too which is crazy yeah same weight same. height and. weight let me see that clip again of him. swinging they used to call him Blobby. Lee that was the saddest it was mean but. it was true H Titan Zayn the name is. great. oh oh he was reaching for the Stars you. know this guy man he was getting that. kid is scared you see that kid step back.

couldn't handle it Titan Zane dude. that's Uncrustables at its finest right. there baby oh God that's all look at. that bro look at that. freaking. oh Savage good for that kid man St Louis. Pinto tournament Home Run Derby Titan. Zayn good for you TZ that's what we want. that's you got to adopt dude TZ I would. adopt 100% get a Polynesian I'm looking. for one what brand do you go if you. adopt man what do you got Islands some.

islands got to get an island yeah just. cuz that little guitar they come with. right yeah it's part of the package oh. but you got to buy more strings they. break them often but the craziest thing. is it's like they take the biggest guy. little guitar that's poetry. baby that's. poetry that's beautiful poetry it's art. it really is you don't get to see it. much um new tour uh freeze Peach freeze. Peach tour new tour I'm doing 20 some.

odd cities hell yeah are you going to. Chicago yeah playing Chicago Theater uh. I think I'm not doing that till the new. year I think I'm in in in Jan yanu so. some in the fall some in the spring yeah. yeah we we I tour through I go through. from September to February and then I. and then I end to February in Minne in. Minnesota and bad friends isn't you guys. are just you guys are banking some. episodes yeah we're going to do. Australia uh we're touring in Australia. in the middle of my tour and then we.

both are going to he's going to shoot. something I'm gone he's he's getting. popular again he had dinner last night. with uh uh or not dinner they met up. Michael Bay Michael Bay wanted to meet. up with him really yeah Michael Bay to. Hash some old beef Michael Bay had some. beef with him apparently he had said. something on the Pod and Michael Bay was. like I want to set the record straight. so they met last night some Mongolian. beef huh yeah dude some beef and. broccoli this guy I'll show you the. picture he uh he was it was pretty. impressive by the way he said to me he.

was nervous he was nervous but here. that's him and Michael no way that's. Michael baay yeah and who's that little. [ __ ] yeah yeah I I don't know I don't. know if yeah he talked about it on Rogan. that was the problem Michael heard about. it and was like panac somebody called. him that he said and it wasn't one of us. no well it was I think he just heard it. wrong right might have said it Michael. Bay produced it he directed it yeah yeah. and action let's do it again yeah we did. it like seven or eight times do you.

believe Michael B said that to him no. way no he didn't say it to him that's. why I think that's that's inflated but. he met with him last night so I wonder. I'm gonna after this we're meeting up so. I want to hear what he said I'm I'm. curious to know how he directed The his. feelings oh yeah look I've got a. dumpling esteem with you Bobby you know. we're going to get to the bottom of this. um I want to come and do bad friends man. got I'd love to anytime I would love to. have you thank you for having me yeah. I'm glad we both went to this it was. amazing man one of the best shows and if. you have a chance you know I don't know. when this comes out but they only got a.

couple weeks left of uh the tour I think. they end second week of August or. something like that they they don't have. much left yeah I think they're on break. for a little bit and then they have one. more week in uh in Vegas I think yeah. back yeah they do a couple back Tob. backs and then it's and then inside tip. if you are a dead and Company fan or a. dead fan at all the rumor is that it. this there there is no plans to do it. again so who knows this could be one of. the last times I mean who knows might. not be might be yeah August there you go. that's second week of August then that. that's it baby that's crazy 1 2 3 8 n 10.

she gone she she uh congratulations on. everything dude yeah I feel fortunate. that we've gotten to uh have to be able. to work in the same field together yeah. me too man it's been amazing and I want. to keep seeing you shoot up in the space. and it be fun well as long as I uh I. just want to shoot over there to uh to. bad friends and en join you guys come. through yeah we we want to have you come. through and to settle it all cuz there. you know Bobby if there was there was a.

chance I was going to be the bad friend. I heard yeah to the gra Vine and. Bobby you know I know he's not here you. know he I'm don't going to say he led me. on or whatever but I was just he does. lead everybody on does he yeah he's yeah. well which is ironic because he's a. follower not a leader he leads people on. but he's much of a follower well he led. the right guy you guys' Choice man I. love you I apprciate love you to thanks. Andrew than you. [Music]. man like these leaves I must be.

Cornerstone oh but when I reach that. ground I'll share this piece of mind I. found I can feel it in my bones. [Music].