Andrew Santino 3 | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #290
today's episode is brought to you by. grey block pizza. if you've wanted that that feeling in. your mouth that's warm and cheesy and. meaty. and crusty well you don't have to do. something. unnatural anymore you can go to a. wonderful place called. grey block pizza in los angeles 1811. pico boulevard on the way to the beach. gray block. get that hitter baby today's guest is a. man. and he's really one of a kind and.
and very unique. he is an actor he's a podcaster. he is a part of the bad friends podcast. and host of whiskey ginger he's a. comedy anne and he's my friend mr andrew. [Music]. santino.
i'll sit and tell you my stories. [Applause]. he's got really nice smooth skin it's. like wax paper. yeah he's almost not real at some point. i don't know if. we might find out that he's not real. yeah but he's a sweet sweet boy.
oh at some point the jumanji game is. gonna end somewhere and he's gonna. disappear he's just gonna. so you you're y'all's new show is called. bad friends bad friends yeah. and who is worst friends you and bobby. or me and um. what's it called pirates booty himself. bernie shout out albanian vernon. yeah i think i think you guys are. working barnyard barnyard yeah.
barn door schluben is probably uh you. guys are worse friends. no no no one's me and bobby are friends. i'll ask you this how about this bobby. and i yeah are friends because we get. mad at each other all the time. okay like are you and brendan friends. because you you you bicker a lot do you. bicker a lot and it makes you closer or. no. well that's a good question i mean yeah. the reason the show even started was. because we were ripping on each other. yeah right okay so with us it started. because we undeniably. have opposing lifestyles so we would we.
would. tease each other and get mad at each. other for i oh i hated that he played. video games until four in the morning oh. yeah. he thinks he thinks sports are are for. losers yeah we're polar opposites. i like that stuff he likes that stuff. and we make fun of each other for but. it just it works like the way that you. and barnard [ __ ] on each other. yeah it's beautiful because i know half. of it's real. and half of it's all love yeah but it's. you know there's a bat there's a balance. to all. yeah it's that it's that heartfelt dung. really a lot of it.
you know it's like hey here's a turd but. man i you know i put a valentine at the. end it looks nice i wrapped it up guys. yeah i wrapped this piece of [ __ ] for. you but but you mean a lot to me. yeah that's kind of how it is man you. look good you feel good. i feel okay man i'm going to nashville. to look around over there. i know we talked huh are you excited. i looked at houses online when i texted. you when you said you were looking at. nashville i looked on houses online just. to see what they're like over there. it's so funny to think that like uh. could you get something nice there.
you can you can but not not like i. thought it would be. right because nashville is popular dude. yeah that's not that's this isn't like a. you know when somebody's like i'm moving. to cincinnati you're like all right. you're going to buy the whole town and. you could buy. you could buy cincinnati yeah but you go. to nashville it's. still like it is out here it's a little. expensive in the sense of like. you know you're gonna get your money's. worth but it's pricey yeah because it's. desirable. tennessee is great there's no state. income tax yeah right it's also. nashville is. a hub for music and culture and art.
anytime you get that and. you're going to have people going there. from places like illinois where i'm from. there's too expensive to live the taxes. are as much as they are. my parents pay almost what i pay no way. yeah in taxes for their house. and your parents are still married yeah. damn. yeah but i mean legally legally right. because when my dad's retired you know. do they sleep in the same bedroom still. no yes and no my dad stays up late at. night. yeah so he doesn't go you know that's.
the move when you're. when you're when it gets to that age. when it's the final 20. yeah and it's that final 20 years when. that last quarter. yeah when that last lap starts the big. move is to stay in front of the tv as. long as you can. once the spouse goes to bed because then. they go to bed then you go oh i felt i. fell asleep i didn't know i just. i didn't know you went up last night i. fell asleep yeah he loves the couch. sometimes he sleeps in the guest room. sometimes because he says he didn't if. he goes i had a cough or i didn't feel. good separation i don't like sleeping in. the same bed. oh do you like sleeping the same bed as. a lady no no i'm like sitting in the.
same apartment. i know i want a shared room that's why i. want to get a big enough house where my. wife can be on one side i can be on the. other. i have a couple friends like that yeah. they're just big enough homes where they. split. yeah i won't have a schedule in the. kitchen you know we'll meet here at noon. yeah you know but i can be in my wing. you're in your wing we'll link up for. breakfast. yeah then we continue on how great is. that that's beautiful man. i don't like sleeping in the same bed. i'm dead serious i don't i don't i want. i want my whole space i get too hot i. get anxious i flip around do you wake up. at night or no. yeah i'm up all night long yeah you seem.
like somebody that was oh my. god i wake up i go to the bathroom i go. to bed i wake up i go i go write. something down. i watch tv i i can't sleep through the. night. write something down yeah what is this. are you in like. are you on a ship and there's something. murder mysteries. week to week and if i think of the blood. was on his shoe and then i'll write it. down. no if i get a thought that i can't i. need like yeah you gotta write it down. you put it in your phone don't you put. stuff in your phone like that yeah let. me i'll read a couple yeah read. something that you throw down in your. phone recently. let me see what what a comic's condition.
but of mine's about gays and a lot of. mine's racial stuff too oh same. oh blind puzzle making i thought would. be good if they had a game show where it. was blind people making puzzles you know. oh i love that. uh this says why do adults like to get. spanked why do adults like to get. spanked during sex. it's gross it's indicative of childhood. trauma. it's very strange like knock it out. knock that trump yeah you want to spank. the trauma right out of me yeah. that's where the term daddy bothers me. when i have a son.
i'll i'll hit him in the face if he. calls me daddy yeah i'm papa. or pop or dad yeah daddy is gross daddy. yuck oh yeah daddy's too much it's gross. father. father father's nice yes father yes boy. yes yeah go fetch your pal yeah go fetch. your pale boy. um dude i get a text i get a dm from. this company that i've never answered. but for the past. seven months they've hit me up and they. say who's your jeweler. who do you use as a jeweler they're a. jewelry company. i don't ever wear jewelry i i i don't.
even wear a wedding ring i don't like. jewelry. i don't like stuff and they hit me up. every other week they erase their dm and. they send it again. who's your jeweler i think i might need. to go get some jewelry you think i'm. trying to take a. chain oh i could see you in a chain i. could see you in a wrist. in a wrist chain tennis bracelet. but i want it on my ankle like a girl i. want like a girl on spring break dude. i want one above each knee. yeah i want to that i want savage yeah.
right above your knee wrapped around. that's that's dope. would that be fun if you had twenty. thousand dollars on each leg i would. love that. my knees are blinged out dude that's so. wild man to think that. like i wonder like yeah what jewelry is. gonna be like in the future like if we. like if people are gonna start to get. more stuff like installed into their. bodies yeah bro have you seen in their. teeth. will it all be virtual i mean i've seen. those johnny dang have you seen that guy. no no i mean in their teeth. people put diamonds in their tooth yes. simon rex has one that's. wild they like they physically put it.
into your tooth yeah. they used to put it on your tooth now. they can drill a hole and put a diamond. in your tube get in there there's johnny. dang right there yeah. every rapper sings about johnny dang yep. and he's that vietnamese gateway to the. uh. gateway to the ice game yeah he's like. what you need more ice on you you don't. have no mouth. you don't have enough look at how much. ice he's holding he's iced out yeah. these are all diamond everything for you. he's so tiny too oh yeah look at him and. you know they they grow him for the show. when they do when they do recordings oh.
he's a little boba drink yeah. they stretch him out he could sip right. out of his little ass look at him with. that girl in that vice article up there. he could. he could fit inside of her tits oh he's. a nice little sliver of a man oh. beautiful look at the look in his eyes. to the excitement he's so happy about. life yeah he feels good about life. yeah um these guys have beautiful. stories i'm always impressed by this. kind of stuff. oh yeah they make it from zero you know. like builds his own empire we're talking. zero like dude i remember when i was on. when i went on semester at sea so it was.
like a school you know yeah. like a campus on a cruise ship kind of. yeah yeah so i remember we were coming. into port in the morning we would get. into like the different port cities. because you kind of go to different. cities around the globe right. so we get into port city i remember. being up in the morning was the biggest. thing if you could be up at like 5 a.m. as you come into the port of a new. country you've never been to right. pretty crazy yeah that's wild. and i remember getting into vietnam and. like. passing fishing boats like in a i mean. we're in like a cruise ship. right you know and passing fishing boats.
like little guy. hat you know like a mouthful of melon. like he would fill his mouth with melon. in the morning then just only swallow a. little bit throughout the day like that. was his lunch yeah. kind of like one of those little drip. bottles for a hamster but built into him. and then uh and he would just be out. there just fishing man and. a cruise ship it was almost like just. two time zones. passing each other like oh yeah just and. it would just be so bizarre like the. wake of this cruise ship just going in. rocking his boat yeah. lifting these little bitty skiffs that.
they were out there and that's his. entire living. yeah he's sitting out there doing. fishing in the morning and you guys. meanwhile are showing up. just to party been yeah up all night. partying. bootleg cocaine then we bought in some. country that we made how bad is bootleg. cocaine oh. some guy was making cocaine i remember. was it good here's what i would say it. didn't damage you. yeah it wasn't gonna hurt you yeah so. you could do as much as you wanted you. weren't gonna get high but you weren't. gonna. you weren't gonna get hurt your heart.
wasn't gonna stop yeah yeah. see that's the opposite with like bad. weed bad weed makes you feel sick. right and you get a headache and your. stomach kind of turns and you feel gross. it's like bad wheat is bad bad coke is. just not real. yeah it's just yeah that's what it was. not real coke but somebody made it man. this guy had this whole little deal. going on. um and he was making it man so that was. cool just to get some it was even if it. didn't work just right. just knowing you got it isn't that half. of the hunt half of the fun was getting. getting drugs and then when you get.
drugs you do them and you're like this. is great but. getting the drugs was really fun yeah. because the people you would get in. trouble with. dude i've told this story before but i. used to do drugs with this guy whose. parents were both deaf. oh wow yeah and his dad would come in. the room sometimes we'd be high as [ __ ]. david was his name or not danny. what was his real what was his name his. name was this is so i don't remember i'm. being serious we had a deaf fellow named. david. oh you oh it wasn't his parents i don't. even know this kid i don't remember his. name i just remember he had deaf parents. and i really. well death runs in the is that him is.
that deaf david oh i don't know this guy. does have an earpiece in let's hear what. he had to say. death runs in the in the david family. you go. cheeto [ __ ] i've got a question for. you. what drug wouldn't you take i think mine. is probably [ __ ]. heroin because you know no [ __ ]. needles what's up. so what do you think gang dude. a big guy like that could handle a. little bit he could enter some wind yeah. you know a little vein the size of those. baseball mid hands he's oh you could.
shoot right into that middle finger. though. you know what i'm saying he said what. drug wouldn't i take yeah i mean. i he did say but that's the thing about. the mistake of heroin he thinks you just. have to shoot it you don't have to just. shoot it. you could snort it you can smoke it so. like needles scare him you could snort. and smoke heroin that's not. i don't think i would want to do heroin. but i think the drug i really wouldn't. take. um i don't think i i don't think i will. i don't think i'll ever do ayahuasca i. know people. i don't know i don't really want it i. don't know any people having a. religious experience on it i don't know. if i really i've done dmt.
once and that was fun but i don't know. i don't really want to do drugs anymore. i barely smoke pot. anymore damn i just like drinking you. sound like a damn grandparent you don't. want to do drugs anymore i don't want to. do drugs anymore man. i think i did drugs that i need to do i. think i've done enough drugs that i. needed to do. but what about i could see you i did. mushrooms this weekend i did mushrooms. this weekend okay now we're getting. somewhere but they're chocolate. mushrooms and you take a little bit. now do you feel anything or not yeah you. feel a little fun it's a little funny. dude you take them with the misses.
some buds some people came over i had. people it was some it was two of my. friends birthdays and we threw a little. like happy birthday and then we. projected a movie on the. garage wall outside i got a projector. yeah and we watched the sand lot. probably one of the best movies of all. time does the wife drug or not. no no drugs no drugs just drinking she. doesn't she never did drugs never tried. never really got into him. wow she's not opposed to them but i i've. also just grown weary of doing dru i. don't want to do. i did drugs when i was young as much as. i could and then now i'm like. what is it do you feel like you the body.
can't handle it do you feel like it's. not. that's that's the first step is it yeah. i just i can't my. your body is you ruined two days now. yeah i used to be able to do drugs and. function. go to work yeah i should do drugs at. work yeah yeah yeah think about that. half the people that are at work all. right or. on drugs yeah all the chefs at a kitchen. bro. yeah if your order comes out quick. that's drugs that's drugs. yeah people are like oh man this this. restaurant is great dude he's just he's. amped the [ __ ] up that's drugs.
eggs hash browns eggs eggs i was i just. i just never i just got to a point. i think where i did a lot of drugs when. i was young and then now all i like to. do was. smoke some weed and drink but even wheat. has taken a back seat in my life i don't. know why i just i just don't. and do you ever remember i remember. getting so high at this girl's house one. time when i was young that i couldn't. even. i remember telling some girl like i. remember being stuck in this bedroom. like laying on my back on this.
bed or couch and i was so high like. everybody else had gotten high and going. to do something fun. right right and i was like all right i'm. coming and as i'm getting up to leave. out of the door. i can't i couldn't get out of my body i. couldn't my body was stuck. in there yeah and so i'm like laying. there and some girl came back in the. room to get something right. and i remember just being like hey hey. hey you know. get me you know get me and i remember. this girl. looking at me and i think she thought i. was trying to hit on her or something i.
might have been you know because even. half and half yeah [ __ ] even though even. though i'm down for the count you know. i can't move but i'll [ __ ] yeah halfway. through a 10 count i'll still get my. dick up you know. even at six i'll [ __ ] say come [ __ ]. you know. but um but i remember this girl just. looking at me. and i remember speaking but i couldn't i. it was the only scent. like skill i had left was to speak to. get it out yeah like. get me get me you know and they laugh. man and i just remember being trapped. there literally.
felt like i was loitering in my own body. that wouldn't move. yeah like just wandering around the. hallways of my body. trespassing yeah trust me i wanted to. call the cops on yourself. get out of my body yeah i had i i got so. high one time at a college party. and i went in this girl's room uh to. just get away from people because i was. getting i was like my heart was jumping. i was feeling really [ __ ] up and i was. like having a panic attack that i'm like. i'm too drunk i'm too [ __ ] high i'm. on a few things i'm feeling real [ __ ]. up. so i go i go oh dude i hate it i go and.
sit down in her bed. and i curled up and i woke up to her and. her roommate. screaming at me like get the [ __ ] out. get the [ __ ] out you [ __ ] pieces. i was like not too lazy i knew. something's too high i had like to drive. tears at this point because i cried and. prayed to god ten times don't don't. don't let me die like this in this. [ __ ]. this girl's one bedroom one bath i don't. i just don't want to die in a small. place. yeah i want to die in a big house it. doesn't have to be mine yeah but if i'm. going to die of drugs i want to die in a. big house. oh wow you know dining in a small place. is sad yeah.
if you're right there they find you. right away they walk in they know you're. right there there's no. there's no investigation there's no. mystery there's no allure right there's. no hearing their heels. uh walk on the on the nice floors as. they look for you. yeah no where could he be is he in here. no no. no not in there upstairs yeah. yeah no i didn't want to die i didn't. want to die like that i did that's what. college was college was bad for me like. that. i got myself in bad situations in. college with drugs that's probably why i.
don't want to do them anymore. just just nights of like i remember. sitting watching my buddy and were you. doing cocaine or drugs. just every i did anything that came my. way i would take all sorts of fun [ __ ]. as long as other people were doing it. i'll take it i'd throw a pill in my. throat i didn't really i was like okay. if other people were doing it i was down. to have fun with if we were. all doing it but i remember one night my. buddy was playing he played. acoustic guitar and he was he was so. high on cocaine. that he was playing so much and his you. know he's doing that like coke mouse and.
he doesn't even realize he's cutting his. finger his cuticles are bleeding because. he's playing so hard. but i didn't want to stop him because. the song was so good i just let him ride. it out. you know what i mean i have like a. musical bible yeah you're only going to. get dave matthews crash into me so many. times live. so i was like let that [ __ ] play. yeah i've seen some people do some nasty. [ __ ] on drugs. it turns you off as you get older yeah. the older you get and you see people get. real [ __ ] up. you go ugh that's not cool anymore it. looks sad now. yeah what is it there's something about. it that gets.
well when you're younger it's more like. you have time to kill for sure totally. so it's like oh if i burn two days doing. this or. whatever yeah and your body can recover. quicker yeah. and you have no your responsibilities. are less you have nobody to answer to. right like oh if i just lay in my bed. for a day and a half it's going to be. chill. right it'll be it'll be great actually. yeah also i think when you're young. um you want to test your limits of your. body because your. kids think they're invincible because. you kind of are right like you kind of.
are. you can you can you can get into a car. accident. and the next day as a young as a 20 year. old i could feel fine. like man yeah we got hit yesterday that. kind of stung my back i got hit a year. ago. and [ __ ] me up for like six months. yeah you know and it wasn't even that. bad of an accident it's just. you test limits of your body when you're. young cause you're flawless you're. you're. you're a machine you know what i mean. you can do you can you can go play. sports you can go work out you can go. get wasted then that afternoon go to a. party stay up till 5am get on a flight. the next day. go with friends somewhere your body. doesn't really react then you get older.
and you're whatever your body just your. body slowly just goes nuh uh. oh no dude we're not gonna no your. muscles start to get tighter and you. stretch more it's like. and then young people are always like uh. whatever but then it happens and you're. like oh [ __ ]. if it starts to feel it's you start to. feel like it's. you can't do as much as you used to you. know what it feels like when i like when. a dad. when a dad is like playing sports with. you shooting hoops and he's like oh. my back and you're like what we just.
shot we're just shooting around. now sometimes when i'm doing something. i'll go [ __ ] my back. yeah and i know what dad was talking. about it's it's weird man. and you start to like you start to like. whatever you're doing you start to. as you're doing it you know the. repercussions yeah. so you limit what you're doing as you do. it so you're like okay. i'm playing defense this time i'm not. playing defense next time now before. because i don't have you know i can be. in three days i have to do something. right yeah right now if i only have to.
do something in four if i do something. in four days then i play defense the. whole game. right right but i gotta do something in. three days so i'm gonna have to kind of. monitor it's gonna be half and half you. go in i'll go in. yeah you do you you like start to. compromise with yourself on what you're. willing to sacrifice but. it does get that i mean dude even. traditionally let's play hoops uh let's. go to let's go to dave and busters. yeah one you know i could go to buffalo. wild wings yeah well watch hoops yeah. let's watch it. you know when you travel for stand up. you don't you feel the same way that. there's days when you travel that. you can handle the plane schedule if. you're jumping around like show to show. to show. but then there's sometimes when city to.
city city it just hits me way harder i. don't know why there's some days when. i'm like. more exhausted from the night after. night after night even if i haven't. changed the schedule. yeah you know even if my diet's the same. or i'm not drinking. as much oh yeah it'll still mess me up. sometimes i'll wake up in a city and. just go god. i'm like tired and in pain and i think. when i first started going on the road. dude when i was 22. invincible. please please i drove i drove to montana. and back in a day. i didn't give a [ __ ] yeah remember that. yeah oh it's a 40 hour drive and here i.
drove back. got did the stand up got back in my car. and drove right back of course it was. like two or three days in my mind it was. like just did it in a day yeah yeah. because it didn't matter i didn't go to. bed i didn't need to eat. just to tell you other comedians have. two yeah you know i featured out there. in helena. they're like damn really yeah you're. like yep yeah last night big sky baby. last night big sky last night yeah. he's like put your back today drove to. the night couldn't stop dude no money. for hotel had to keep going. caught a good downhill closed my eyes. for a minute threw it in neutral. kick my feet up and just [ __ ] let it.
run 4 000 miles later. you would try bro i remember times. thinking okay. uh instead of catching a flight for 217. dollars. i'm gonna rent this car for 19 right. and then drive it. seven hours overnight to get to a. cheaper airport. where it'll where the flight will only. be like 140 that's right. because we need to save that just the. couple of bucks back then meant. everything you needed to save it. because otherwise the time had no value.
no not zero because time didn't exist. back then it was like what i didn't need. to be back for anything yeah. it was like if i could if i if i can. waste an extra day getting what i need. done to get to where i need to go. what's the difference i saved the money. you know i didn't lose any money. especially because you're nickel and. diming your way through anything you're. not eating. at nice places you know you're just. you're just going by whatever you need. right. gas station food i survived on gas. station food for years. like i just beef jerky and and uh uh. protein bars and stuff like gatorades.
that's what i would just eat from full. meals. i didn't have a dinner till i was like. 30. yeah. like i didn't have like a real sit-down. dinner until i was like late in my 20s. and then i started to eat you know. yeah but before that you just you know. you just you lived you lived as. cheaply and efficiently as you could but. now you know. now you can eat a good meal once in a. while yeah when you want i mean i know. you you're out every night. you're out every night no boo malibu. eating sushi you got your own table i. know. they fish live for you don't lie i know. the theo table i've seen it straight to. the table.
like the hook to be in there whoever. gets the hook and their cut of fish has. to buy the next meal. [Laughter]. fish out there hook in then you buy do. you ever do credit card roulette have. you ever done that with friends. i now i'm kind of willing to do it but. for years i would see it go. go down and like i can't i can't get it. i hated it i. used to have friends that did it all the. time and it drove me nuts and you have. rich friends. yeah i had a lot of rich friends wow i. went to school with a lot of rich kids. when i was in college. yeah a lot of kids did you go to drake. where'd you go to school i went to i. went to.
harvard of the west did you really i. went to arizona state university. yeah that's right a very high acclaimed. university yeah. because i went to university of arizona. yeah for one semester tucson yeah. real sh it's a real [ __ ] oh go ahead. and say it. it is the it's like uh what's the cousin. who has the um. in christmas vacation was the first. eddie yeah yeah that's eddie that's. eddie's campus. yeah hey clark yeah shitter's full yeah. that's exactly right that's that's. that's that's what it is down there. asu was great but yeah i went to school.
with guys that had money because they. came from california yeah a lot of guys. that can't get into ivy leagues. and want to move away from where they. are their parents will send them an asu. well because california has so many good. schools and if they don't want to go to. a local school. that isn't that good of a school then. they just go to arizona yeah just. because it's a nice. getaway but it's close enough you know a. lot of pool parties out of cocaine. a lot of pool parties a lot of cocaine a. lot of a lot of. a lot of girls that are tens hooking up. with sub sevens. you know like i'm a six and a half and i. could get eights and nines oh wow yeah.
it's great. you were over there eating cheek i was. having a nice dude i was i was eating i. was taking lobster every night. meanwhile i'm denny's you know what i. mean yeah yeah but but. like damn who installed a denny's in. this freaking morton is that a norms. what is that. yeah but but that's that's the funny. thing is like there's so many. uh hot guys and hot girls that at some. point you're gonna get. somewhat you're gonna get something run. off oh sometimes when the hot truck of. girls goes by and hits a speed bump one. of them bounces off. where am i you're here no you ha.
at some point it's like you so many. people were so hot that even like a. a not a girl that was a nine or a b so. beautiful yeah. the guys were already with the other hot. girls so she's like you'll be fine like. a nine would have to get like her pupils. dilated for some. condition she had and then you would end. up dating her for a while. yeah and then three months later when. her eyes went back to normal she's like. oh my god yeah. i thought your hair was regular yeah. they never knew like i thought you were. different. yeah me too you were different i thought. you were more symmetrical i didn't know. your face was that lopsided.
you had to trap like she'd be like oh. why is your bedroom a wedding chapel. it'd be like. look i got it i have to make ends meet i. got to do what i got doing. i have a marriage in 10 minutes so you. got to get out i need a woman in my life. i gotta do what i gotta do what was your. first what was your first job. out of school out of college yeah what. was your first job do you remember it. i was in college for about nine years it. took me a long time to get you and bert. bert did that yeah but did that i'm. trying to think when i got out did you. you worked your way through college. though didn't you yeah i don't know what. i was doing i was still doing uh you.
know i still. that's i was doing mtv when i first. started that so that took up a good bit. of money that's true you were still. doing tv huh. yeah so that stuff was like sometimes it. would take you out of school and then. i would change my pa i would be like all. right i'm going to move. here i'm going to go live here yeah you. know do you talk to any of those people. from mtv. no no none of them it literally feels. like i didn't. it's a different life yeah because when. i met you. i didn't know about any of that stuff. well before that well but but even still. i. even after people referenced it never. knew it yeah like i guess i was not.
attuned to it. like i had known what all those popular. shows were i had seen real world when i. was younger and all that stuff but like. when i met you even when i had known. that you had done it in the past. it never registered to me was there any. why. maybe because i never saw you or. anything like that yeah was there a show. that you liked like what's one of your. favorite reality shows every time did. you ever. watch for love or money or any of those. i loved um what was flavor flav's show. oh yeah i [ __ ] loved it. yeah boy when he met new york new york.
is crazy son. i love that i thought that [ __ ] was wild. because it was like that dude had no. filter. yeah when i when i first moved here he. didn't give a [ __ ] he gave no [ __ ]. he had yeah like that girl's booty is. too small. and they'd leave it in they didn't mean. that's right he's he bro he is he's. easily. the first black flavor lover to conceive. a child with a 70 year old wife. i know bro and he's ageless this dude is. this dude this dude will laugh look i'm. gonna give you the name.
nicorette you because you know right. quitting all these other [ __ ] you. know he'd always have like. weird names right oh your name is booty. hole. your name is booty hole you know he was. dude he was a i when i worked in the. music industry. one of my first day jobs out here let's. refine that statement dude yeah. let's restate it okay i've worked in the. music industry i worked. i worked in the music industry i used to. plan tours yeah my one of my day jobs. was was getting visas for. bands to travel around the world like. tour manager tour uh.
scout tour planning this dude what is. that that's howard stern in blackface. he looks like i'm sorry i just thought. he looks exactly like flavor flav. oh yeah oh oh this is how when did he do. blackface huh when did he do. when was that from whenever he won him. man he's got that kind of money yeah i. guess you can just come and come and. you can come and go huh here's the thing. you got to be rich enough to leak your. own bf. photo well here's what's so funny about. blackface like they tried to get jimmy. kimmel recently. right and then he had to like apologize. or whatever i don't think he's going to. be back.
you don't think what i don't think jimmy. kimmel is going to be back on the jimmy. kimmel show. no way he might not be back no way. why because the blackface it's not a. real thing. that was so long ago he took off the. whole summer and yep they always take. off the summer the. the late night show hosts and also late. night shows they always take off the. summer they always have a guest break. and uh they do this a lot where they. bring in people i mean this is back to. carson days carson used to. let leno and letterman guest host but. this is not a new thing also he's taking. off the summer to be with his family.
i don't think it's because of that i. also think. doing late night right now must suck. look i mean look at they're letting. they're letting our friends do it i know. it's insane and it must suck for the. hosts that. usually do because you're in a studio. with an audience you're used to the. rhythm. now they're doing it from their house or. from a studio that looks like their. house. i'm sure guys like jimmy just aren't. loving that to be real i it has nothing. to do with blackface and i know jimmy. jimmy is the [ __ ]. a hilarious smart cool dude that whole. sketch that they did the blackface.
sketch like. give anything context and you'll. understand why they did it right ted. danson in blackface and willie goldberg. was. all supportive of it and was like it was. at my birthday it was a joke. so why didn't ted danson get [ __ ]. ruined well because context means. everything yeah. if you're doing blackface you know uh at. a nazi. hitler party yeah pro hard to talk your. way out of yeah but if you did it for a. tv show sketch get the [ __ ] out of here. what do we talk at some point what are. we talking about well because here also. it's like. if people co-signed it at that time and.
nobody said anything like. it's just it just all goes into how. often when what can you go you could go. back to something in everybody's life. always and who are they like obviously. jimmy kimmel it doesn't seem. like he is a person who is uh trying to. like offend but he's had tons of black. people on his television show right. you know right it doesn't add up that oh. he this it's not the same thing. no it's not you know today's episode is. brought to you by better help man better.
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at modify.com theo. that's m-o-d-i-p-h-y. dot-com slash t-h-e-o. these guys don't have around y'all feel. me there. gang but that's the thing is people. don't care sometimes right they just. want to get infuriated. yeah well but it bleeds over look at. what twitter has done publicly to a lot. of stuff it's turned things. into [ __ ] that never existed right like.
look at what's happened to ellen. ellen's getting murdered bro because of. twitter they're saying she might lose. her. you want to talk about someone that. might lose their show not jimmy kimmel. ellen might get [ __ ]. but she's notoriously been a real piece. of [ __ ] but that being said but being a. piece of [ __ ] isn't it. a crime you're right it's not a crime i. don't agree with sir. and but also i don't even know what she. did that's true like my whole thing is. like. did she say um out did she outright say. like i don't hire [ __ ] asians or. derogatory comments out loud right i.
don't i don't hire gays i don't hire one. eyes you know don't do that. no so that's true she has the diverse. people on her show every [ __ ] day. well like and also there's a thing about. look at a certain. level of power. at a certain level of prestige right so. a lot of your k your character defects. are going to be magnified. so much like you know there's just no. way to do it like. she's basic it's it's almost like i will.
say this it's like a corporation like. people are always like. these big corporations you know they're. killing our you know craft macaroni. killed my son you know even though your. son never you know. he never ate a vegetable his whole life. had nothing to do with it you know he. was in an auto accident. but it's like people always want to. blame big corporations because they get. too big and. they can't manage things at a. comfortable level right that's. i mean ellen is a corporation she is. like a trump tower like she's like a. huge building. she's a business it's not a person. anymore right so if the person on the.
first floor of the building. is upset that they don't get treated a. certain way. right you know some of that could be. because there's 40 floors of business. that have been operating. so that whatever trickle down kindness. it's just not there you know well it's. also didn't they didn't they say it was. more her producers than her like from. what i read it was like a lot of. they said the executive producers were. abusive. in their approach or whatever and it. wasn't a lot of her there was a lot of. quotes from. her that i heard about her saying [ __ ]. now whether or not. people say she was mean to them or. disrespectful or whatever.
that is what it is but again like we. said like that's not against the law to. be mean. it's not cool but i don't understand. what why can't we just have a talk about. it right do we want people to change and. get better or no. that's a great question do we want. people to change it we just want to burn. them to the ground. because i've yet to find a quote if you. can find it where it's like direct from. ellen said. [ __ ] black people said ellen like i've. never i. haven't seen that yet i've just seen. them yeah [ __ ] dancers [ __ ]. you look at it said alleged racism and. intimidation.
yeah that's super vague that's everybody. right dude half my friends are alleged. racists bro and. former employees say ellen's be kind. talk show mantra is a toxic war. culture yeah it's just it's just that's. vague statements that's like anything. else you know who said you know what. somebody said like um. um somebody had a great talk with me. about uh uh. um uh chris hardwick's thing you know. when they said hardwick. his ex said he was emotionally abusive. yeah and and. and who isn't it's hard to be alive but.
emotional abuse. what is that that's a really vague term. yeah that's like a step dad. yeah yeah yes yes. like also my wife said this. what what past relationship of yours. your ex wasn't emotionally abusive man. or woman. you hated each other at the end i bet. you were [ __ ] mean to each other when. it was over. what current relationship there isn't. some emotional abuse of course. and manipulation because you guys are. fighting over certain things and. everything is context but we don't know. what was going on inside of that world i. don't know what's going on inside of.
that [ __ ] world because like you said. that's a big building dude yeah you're. right. and ellen's in the past on the fire i'm. saying ellen's a piece of [ __ ]. i don't know any different all i yeah i. would here's here's how. you know what else i don't watch the. show so yeah it's another world that i'm. not connected to that. i don't really care about so unless she. outright said. you know filipinos are the lowest rung. of human on earth if she said some [ __ ]. like that then i go damn ellen what the. [ __ ]. that's edgy yeah but until then that's. false true and that's very false because. they're great. they're great it's the thai people that. we don't like everybody knows that.
well i don't want to say who it is but. it's the it's this mixes the chinese. they call them the chinese dude. everybody i mean i work with a korean. and i have no we have one in here. sometimes on tuesday oh no. oh yeah try to kill us all north huh huh. who is it. he's uh i don't know if he's north or is. he north or south i don't know either. no papers yeah i work with a korean. every day me and me and robert and i got. to tell you i was never. ever racist towards koreans until i. started working with them but it opens. up a new light. you really start to see you really start.
to see who you hate. and that's why i still work with them. because i want to just you keep your. enemies close. and that's bad friends that's bad. friends that's better enemies you're. getting your enemies close. and that's bad friends no i didn't i. think this whole everything can get. pulled out of context. i'll tell you why i even say why i even. think this for one. i'm jealous probably a villain yeah that. she. ha i feel like she's at this point she's. gone to the point where she's taking a. job from a young man. it seems like yeah yeah yeah that's kind.
of how although when i see her. i'm like damn yeah she's taking some. young fella's job. young dude's job now i'm not saying. that's a right way for me to think or. feel either but that's. that is the thought that comes with the. second one is a friend of mine used to. work security for. at her house private like personal. security yes and said that she was a. complete [ __ ]. but also now that guy was a nice guy he. was a little bit bow legging honestly no. i don't trust both. people well how did you get that way huh. how'd you get that way. what error did you come from your. parents break your knees when you were. young that freaking polio bad boy or.
it's privileged because you rode horses. or animals a lot if you wrote a lot of. animals you can get bow-like. well if you wrote a real small animal. then you're and you're like us yeah yeah. you don't get bo like it but if you're. privileged you get to ride big animals. big more bow you bow up yeah that's the. bigger the bigger the bow the bigger the. privilege that's what i say. and so that's where a lot of my you know. i guess my disdain comes from and i. think i just have a general disdain. sometimes for that culture now if she. asked me to be on her show next weekend. i might have a different opinion i don't. think you would go you know i don't. think you would go on ellen. i don't know i i just imagine if she.
asked you to dance. would you go out there dancing all the. way down the aisle. no theo vaughn. and that dj and the dda is like what's. up ceo and you have to do that thing. you're like what up dog yeah you gotta. do that. stanley hey uh hey diverse person i can. just even imagine yeah i don't even need. to know who the dj is. like hey diverse person he's like what. up what up. but would you go on there you would on. ellen yeah no. i i couldn't i would have no business.
what would i do on ellen well i mean you. know like more of an actor you do acting. yeah but they're i mean you know if. anybody from my show they would have. little dicky they would have like i'm. not the star of that show even if i was. the star of a show. ellen wouldn't be where i would go to. promote the show because. nothing i would make would be ellen's. audience right ellen's audience is. moms middle-aged women mostly you know. yeah like it doesn't they wouldn't like. me. you know like the content i put out. that's not. what they like at all i mean right kudos.
to those that are broad enough but. right i think what we make is a little. bit more specific than that acting or. not. it'd be too hard they'd be like oh i. don't like the language he used. on this podcast i heard so no what would. i go on. i mean i would i would slit a throat to. be on stern would you. i love stern i've always loved the guy i. mean like i love the show i've done the. i've done the wrap-up show because. yeah yeah yeah and those guys are. [ __ ] john those guys are a dope. they're the nicest and they have the. most fun they don't give a [ __ ] there's. no rules. they kind of let you be you sometimes.
you go on shows and they like dictate. how you're supposed to be you know when. they shut you out. and they don't make you feel welcome and. you're like all right well i guess. you know i'm just filling a gap for two. minutes. but those guys let you do it i just i. want to be on that on the show one day. to talk to him. that's a good goal man you know what. sometimes i feel like i i i keep myself. out of my own goals yeah with judgment. why. you know i don't know would you go on. would you want to be on howard. hmm i don't know if i would i mean. i don't know if it do you like him at.
all. i like him just not a big fan you like. him just fine yeah. i used to i used to be a massive fan and. then just time wise i don't get to. listen to it anymore because i'm not in. my car listening to sirius anymore. yeah but i used to love it you know what. i loved about the guy honestly that. in the sake of how we're comedians and. we can joke around like i did before i'm. joking about not liking koreans and my. one of my best friends is korean totally. we can throw that away and have a joke. and then go back to something real right. he does that a lot which i like that. he's able to just go [ __ ] it if you. can't tell the difference and when i'm.
kidding and when i'm not. that's on you like get [ __ ] get real. like yeah he used to be a lot more like. that i feel like. well i mean he's definitely a legend. getting i think it also he's getting. older and it's. getting harder the show is obviously. getting harder to do it's. it's tough you're you're you're co. you're making content every day. all of it's tough yeah that's hard i i. just think and you changed too. yeah yeah he's probably not the same. person he was 20 years not even close. he's like a vegan who paints and does. yoga. you know i mean like yeah he he's. completely changed which has it's cool. to watch his. he's a jewish diamond dallas page really.
he's jewish huh is he jewish howard. stern oh god i'm not listening anymore. i didn't know yeah i didn't know. imagine 25 years old oh no. no he is he is he's the jewish. john mcdowell's face are you a wrestling. guy all the jokes that we do about. wrestling do you watch it. oh this the truth is man if i had to be. real honest there was a guy in our. i don't want to say our neighborhood but. in our probably an adjacent neighborhood.
that trained. wrestlers when i was growing up really. yeah and did you get trained huh no but. i'd go watch. you go check it out i'd try to get in. there and i got the britches one time. for uh. you know chris chris or something yeah. and it was they got me some shitty ones. you know they had they got me in one. with the ballet surplus or whatever so. i'm wearing some [ __ ]. little billy elliotts out there. hand-me-downs oh yeah yeah. i look like a damn newsie you know i. look like a news. selling papers and watching training i. look like a newsy at the gym you know.
but i'd go over there and watch them you. know and the guy had a ring set up in. his own yard you know. when they'd throw him off the ropes and. do the body slam you know. i love that and they had a uh this one. wrestler guy who was. i don't want to say mentally disabled. probably had autism before they had. autism so it was. like oh that guy's a [ __ ] you know. strong yeah and it would be like this. guy fireboy was his uh. wrestling thing you know and he had like. uh the pants yeah with the flames on the. side. and some kind of doc martens but before. doc martens you know nurse martin's you. know. right this guy had like these lace-up.
boots and he wrote fireboy on each one. you know. and i'd go over there and watch him. train the guy are you sure. huh are you sure it wasn't andrew uh. yeah it could have been was it me. fireboy what if it would have been but. dude i'll tell you i'll say this and. i'll say this again man. i i still don't understand why some of. the podcast people do not. make a wrestling script. with this i know when you talk about. this i don't have any wrestling in my. blood though. who cares yeah but i don't i don't even.
enjoy it it's not for me. then you can still do it have you seen. wrestling dude i know but there's. something about wrestling characters i. don't like time you've ever been angry. at a costume party. yeah that's wrestling bro i know i mean. no i have i got no fight with a guy at a. costume party. that's wrestling dude it's just the. halloween yeah but we really fought. yeah oh that's good we're really fun. then that's not right we've really got. no fistfire no i don't like i don't like. um. i never i nev when i was a kid i thought.
hulk hogan was cool. and i thought some of the wrestlers were. cool but i never followed it. because something didn't click with me i. didn't like. i don't think i like the boots and the. pants i don't like. i didn't like tight pants on men and. boots yeah. i don't know yeah like well they're in. jeans i guess i could do it if they were. all wearing jeans. and this guy he's his whole thing is. like apathy he doesn't take his hands. out of his pocket he kind of hates the. whole thing that could be you. that's me i'm just happy i'm just yeah. apathetic. apathetic andrew tommy dreamer well see.
that's my thing you know i know they. actually slap him too. carl lentz the pastor yeah. yeah i just it's not for me yeah this is. getting weird. it's not for me yeah something about it. misses for me it's just like um. look and i like theatrics i like i i. know. i know that it's all a big play i think. it's cool. the idea is cool um well it's things. some things have gone on have have have. have gone on too long sometimes which.
are institutions. have gone on too long i do think a lot. of times but then some things go. went away for no reason do you know what. highlight is. i've seen that scooper highlight yeah. you know that was most famous it was. one of the most popular sports in the. world at one time no way yes. yes one of the most one of the most. spectated sports. in the world at one point in time. especially because in india it was huge. you're talking. you know but highlight they try to make. a comeback it just it it's not working.
it's never going to come back. but that's jory cornbed he's one of the. most famous really yeah. but this game is [ __ ] insane i mean. they're going it's in a court. yeah and the balls get thrown 170 miles. an hour or something. it's just it's a wild but it's a wild. cool sport to watch. but it'll never it'll never come back i. can't tell you why. i don't know what the appeal i don't i. don't know why it lost this cool appeal. of watching people do that just huck. that ball. when you listen to the echo of the ball. off the wall too it's daunting it's like.
really it's crazy but look at how hard. they. [ __ ] whip that thing you get hit in. the face with that you're gone bro. oh they gotta wear the helmet too yeah. but people get hit all the time really. yeah. people get hit all the time it's fun. that's. that kind of stuff but it look but that. loses its luster. right it's gone but now what about. female roller derby did you ever watch. that when it was on tv. all the kids but they hurt each other. that's why i love that yeah see i love. the. the physical real pain.
i love to watch someone get clipped or. taken out yeah that's why i love. football same thing. i'll tell you one time i went to the usc. stadium yeah and it was super bowl. day and they had the women's. tackle football going on down there. right it was like half time i think they. were doing like i don't know something. during that day they were putting on a. game. and it's pretty lame to say you know i i. forgo watching the super bowl i guess it. was two teams i didn't care about or.
something. and i went down there to watch that. women's tackle football game. yeah and they lit each other i love it. you've seen you've seen lingerie. football you've seen that right maybe. that's what it was it was. yes okay so that's what it was it was. hot with the pads on. some of these chairs you should pull up. that highlight reel of those girls. they clip each and there's also they're. they're. they're able to get away with more the. nfl doesn't let anymore like horse. collar you can still horse collar in. that. there was a pigtail on the on the on the.
thing after it. i mean look at that she's throwing she's. blatantly throwing her shoulder. yeah at her neck you know like. oh get the. [ __ ] out of here get the [ __ ] out of. here wow. dang that girl and shield and somebody. they just are. straight fighting some of these chicks. will shoot they'll shoot up right into. the middle of the tit. i think they're i think i think fighting. is all legal too i think it's legit. oh.
damn this is it's an incredible game. this should be way more popular. bro i'm getting mildly erect brother i. really am. which is good because i actually ended. up masturbating yesterday so to get an. erection the day after. that's really good you're able to fill. up again oh. i can't get in i can't get a tank in. that fast very rare so i didn't know. this was going to do it for me. this is it now i know how to pique your. interest ooh. now some of the ass cheeks get a little. small the stronger the women get well. yeah you got if you yeah you can't hold.
out all that weight. some of the running backs. [Laughter]. oh yeah filler up dude see this is a way. to handle daddy issues if you're don't. go stripping. get out on the field and beat the [ __ ]. out of another girl now the problem i. think is just the money. they don't get paid enough i'm sure they. don't get paid [ __ ]. yeah well there's no there's not enough. money to be made you know like you got. to have more fans. but that's the thing it's like this. should be a bigger sport there should be. a way bigger sport. dude you know what i just realized. sometimes i don't even really want to. have sex i just want to put my penis in.
there. just it just let it sit and soak no just. get as long as you get it in it's like. it's yeah they call it soaking. that's enough really yeah yeah yeah. really hardcore uh. mormons mormons will call it's called. soaking wow they're allowed to put it in. they just can't they just can't make. friction. yeah you got it it's hard though you're. gonna sneak it in there and let it sit. for an operation. don't touch the sides. you gotta let it soak for a while dude. that's scary bro yeah. you do you gotta let it sit because the. thrusting is a lot of work right oh it's.
all a lot of work dude have you ever. worked at brenda's shop it's a lot. that's a lot of work that's an uphill. like atlas that guy who pushes that ball. up that hill you ever seen that guy from. greek mythology and it always keeps. falling down on him yeah and no matter. how close you get to the top it's gonna. it's always coming and then no. that's that's why is that ball that's. sisyphus right sisyphus never was able. to get it up there big boy. was like why does this ball of a thick. boy bite club shirt. dude he loves the biking huh dude it's. crazy i was like is he sponsored by bike. is bike sponsoring him i feel like he he.
got so into bikes overnight oh he's like. yeah bro i'm [ __ ] 25 miles today up. to sound like good for you dude. dude yeah i'm phony hulk that's it dude. he will. that's the thing about brendan people. knock him the one thing that he is. that that inspires me is that he is a. hard worker yes he's committed. who else can go from one thing to the. next. right he jumps all right find their. footing in it football. fighting comp podcasting comedy. and biking and freaking biking he gets.
sponsored by bike. the company bike it's like q-tip really. all the bikes sponsored him wow. any bike company he wants thick boy his. instagram has become like an autistic. kid's instagram it'll just be like big. snake on road. here's a danger noodle yeah yeah he. posts a steak like he hasn't seen he's. you've seen one every day it's not a. mystery anymore now it's it's a nuisance. to me i'd go god. for these [ __ ] snakes he's like whoa.
here's another sand winder. whoa the best is. uh the other day he's like flag sounds. of some lady biking. he flags her down and let her know. there's a snake there and she doesn't. give a. [ __ ] she's like whatever loser and just. drives by. is he into motorcycles does he do is he. is he up there yet he is it's on his. calendar but i don't know i think it's. 2022. 2022. he'll get into those sit bikes you. know with the big sides. like the mexicans have out here yeah. yeah the beach beach cruisers yeah oh no. no i'm talking about the ones where the.
older people. yeah and it has like the little case on. the thing for a gatorade yeah a little. picnic basket in the side yeah oh yeah. what got your sandwich in there honey. you want a bologna i got your bologna. bologna extra mayo he's gonna get he's. gonna ask me why he said this about him. i know but it's all it's all because. he's addicted when he gets involved in. something. it becomes obsessive he's obsessed with. biculture now. now it's like it's not like where you. say if you were like. yeah man i just got into you know uh uh.
jiu jitsu like if you just got into it. i'm sure you would like it and really. get into it. but it wouldn't consume me like when. brennan gets into something it's like. all-consuming again yeah he's a he's an. athletic. addict right he's addicted to athletics. or he buy the chef's hat or. and then he gets a spoon right right and. then he gets the knives and he wants to. make the knives yeah. then he gets the cheese grater and he. does it all right you know then he grows. then he starts making his own cheese. yeah right this guy gets all the way in. i like things but then i can't get if i. get too involved. i know i'll go crazy yeah so i have to.
from a distance you know. if you've ever walked into a to a scent. establishment to get that smell to get. that upper on your body. get that you know you want something. that smells good across your body. you know it used to be the old days you. would carry something with you that. smelled good. you'd carry a rose or carry a muffin. something to get the other sex or the. same sex depending on what you love. to come over to you or to get anything.
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purchase hawthorne dot co. you wanna smell good you wanna feel good. you just gotta update it's time to. update. you know if you want a new life and you. want to attract new things. you need to go into it with a new body. attitude. and hawthorne will give you that what do. you think about when you see these guys. doing the drive-in shows and some of. these new opportunities that are coming. up for stand up. i talked to segura about it okay but. i'll be real with you when i say this i. know this sounds annoying but.
i think stand-up isn't going to come. back for. a long time and i mean it from a. personal level i've done so much. searching. inside about it i just don't think it's. going to be the same when it does come. back. so i was talking to schultz last night. about this and i was like man. you know what we're making this kind of. stuff this is our stand-up. current future right now oh yeah because. this is more fun. than trying to do a digital show to me. you know and perform to an audience. that's not there. because this is the same they're there. they're watching but i don't have to.
wait for their response or know that. they're. engaged they can engage on their own who. are they. who the audience yeah you know who yeah. who yeah who's ever watching whenever. they're watching this. but like those live shows on zoom and. all that. i just don't know if it's for me i've. been offered a few times i don't know. that i can. i don't know if that's my [ __ ] but the. drive-in shows the the. you know bert's doing i called him too. and i talked to him about it he's having. a lot of fun we were trying to plan a. tour with me and bobby to go do that and. it just didn't work out the schedules. was too hot it was too hard and.
to get to one city the next and it cost. a shitload of money to put those on. outside. because these aren't pre-established. venues it's not like going to a club. that the building's already there this. with the lights and the sound and. they have to build this [ __ ] outside and. they're hoping that multiple. people of like us do it so they can keep. the venue up. keep the permits but it's still it's. very costly so. you think you'd be able to go and set up. a tent you know yeah but even still. you got to pay sat staff you have to. have union you have to sound engineers. you have to. people who build stages i mean you know.
it's just kind of like you gotta grease. the constable. you know yeah yeah you got the the local. small town yeah. yeah you have to hit somebody off and. then even still they're gonna want to. hit they're gonna want to be hit. what they should have got from the union. yeah either way no matter how you shake. it. i don't know if it's worth it for me. right now if i was. as big as bert or segura yeah yeah maybe. if it's worth it for them to go. get 500 cars in a parking lot i don't i. don't i just don't know. also i feel weird inviting people to go. out and not be able to touch them and.
and interact with them and see them and. be you know have that those moments in a. room. when you're with people it's just. irreplaceable and i i don't know yeah. cause i'm sure. you know i got invited the other day to. do a show where the televisions are in. front of there's a guy. yeah they invited me to yeah yeah yeah. yeah great guy puts on a lot of awesome. shows. yeah and and apparently there's like 20. screens in front of you where you can. see the audience actually. see them right there in front of you. that's interesting yeah it is no it's. cool i did tell them i said it looked. really. cool but i um i'm also i also know my.
habits. as a performer and i don't know if that. would cater to my habits i really. enjoy feeding off like the live energy. of people yeah i'm significantly better. in in pressure situations where it's. live and big. oh yeah than i am and those where. there's almost no pressure because it's. digital there's a lot of. growing room and you know it's almost. like there's almost no pressure. which i don't really like like i think. the pressure of live is why i like it so. much it's like we paid to see you [ __ ]. you better rip. yeah and when you do it's like it works.
you know. whereas there there's a disconnect and. it's okay if it doesn't work great. because. both people know that this is a weird. medium of comedy. yeah that's interesting it's almost. caters it almost seems like it caters to. the that the reward the reward isn't. actually being. could the reward isn't actually being. funny the reward is. their kindness because then people might. act like they're laughing.
or laugh out of like you know yeah one. of those things but yeah just because. that's how they're supposed to look like. they're behaving because you're not. going to be able to hear their audio. right they're just going to hear you. so then it's going to become this world. where you're performing for virtually. for people everybody's pretending that. they're having a good time. because they paid to be there and it's. just going to be. so i'm worried about that i'm just. waiting i think it's i think it's i. think it's good for people that are. doing it that it's it's working for them. because there are people so i'm not. hating right no i'm not hating because i. might do it i just wonder if the reward.
if it's creating a reward system that is. different than the. original being on stage and getting. you know and feeling that moment between. you and them and. forcing a laugh you know like some. people laugh because they have. there's it's not they're laughing. because they want to they laugh because. you. the rhythm yes you did it you made them. laugh you did the job. whereas if it just looks like i'm. supposed to be assert doing a certain. thing. then i might just do that thing well. because you know how people they always. talk about how people react when they. know a camera's watching there.
so you know like someone in the streets. you know they're going to react. different if they have a camera on them. they start to function different. their eyes their their movements. everything becomes. hyper aware that they're on camera so. when they're on camera watching you they. know you see them now. versus in the room you don't see. audience members. you just hear them if they're laughing. they're laughing and if they don't like. the joke they'll sit there and smile. politely. you know if they if they're not a fan of. the joke they're like oh you know and. those guys you can tell usually. i bet they hit their girlfriends there's. always that guy 100 there's always that.
guy you see up front and you kind of. look at the girl and just. i always look at her and let her know. it's okay and if you need to go we can. go. yeah just you know i know what's going. on you should have a help code when you. start the show. ladies if you're here with your man and. he's abusive and he doesn't want to be. here yeah. you know we should have a help code. order that salmon yeah. i'll take a salmon then i know you're. ready to go yeah you come with me we'll. save you. yeah there's always there's always a guy. or two at the show that's not enjoying. the show. because he's mad that you're doing the. thing that he doesn't do. right he hates his job or whatever and.
he's annoyed that his friends like you. and he's like i'm not really a fan. yeah but i came with them but they love. you but whatever good to me it was so it. was pretty funny. yeah yeah you're not stand up i don't. think is going to come back for. i don't know summer next year i i think. the vaccine has to be the thing. to give people the the i think to give. people the comfort level it's more about. comfort. i start to do you start to feel i. started to feel this this week like. every monday. i start to feel like wow okay. we get a little further from the.
existence that we knew. sundays usually make my old lady. depressed because. work on monday is like a whole thing for. her you know that's like a startup again. it's like oh [ __ ] i have a big week. ahead of me and i never got it. because our weeks bled together right we. don't really know what you know it's. like i've got shows every night of the. week or we're on the road. so monday and sunday weren't significant. days but they are now because sunday. to me is this end of a week for me and. monday is like.
how many more of these weeks are gonna. happen without us having. the ability to go do whatever i need to. do because i was saying it i feel like. forced retirement. i don't like it i feel like i've been. forced to retire from stand up. you know it's kind of like if you meet. someone that retires too early. they usually get depressed yeah you. don't get to do the thing that you love. i have no outlet i can't go work out at. night it kills me. you know it kills me out to go to the. club and work out new shitty jokes but. now what are things. yeah yeah i feel you i start to feel. like okay the interesting thing is each. time i started to i just finally started.
to notice i was like oh man i'm starting. to think like. we're getting further away from the life. that we knew. to the point where it's interesting this. new one becomes. this is it the norm this is it get strap. strap in this is it. because it part a lot of me still thinks. oh this is just such a temporary thing. no i don't think so anymore but you. start or do you feel that too a little. bit where you like. it slips away whatever was before starts. to slip away and this. slowly becomes about a month ago i've. therapeutically admitted to myself. and people around me friends and family.
that i'm like the new norm is. gonna be we're never gonna go back to. what it was this is going to be future. no no way i don't i really don't i think. i think we will inherently time will. change us for the better. we will adapt people this is all going. to change. i don't i don't i think jumping back. into what we thought was normal will. never happen ever again. i just don't think so it'll be a new. normal but it will be okay as well that. will also be. but we will function significantly. differently i mean you look at anything. like. any kind of any kind of uh societal turn.
right a big flip whether it's you know. the internet and the takeover. of what the internet did yeah or flu or. something. well but anything that's just a big. change in our society. inherently changed us forever and we did. it yeah we did it we did it okay yeah we. did it fine. we fixed it we we created new jobs. because of it right the industrial. revolution. created [ __ ] an entire new society. for us did it create other problems and. put other things out. out of business yeah is stand up gonna. go out of business power no. [ __ ] change the whole world.
everything everything the power hammer. yeah didn't work oh the jackhammer but. it was yeah yeah but it led to the. jacket it led to the jackhammer right. the first one the power hammer was not. you pull up power hammer power hammer. didn't work jack hammer worked power. hand hammer. power hand hammer yeah. yeah i think i think we're gonna. function at a higher level in a. different way that's all. we just have to find new ways to do it. which is why i applaud the people doing. the [ __ ] uh. doing the those shows online because. it's in you gotta try you gotta swing. the bat. right try it yeah i think the reason why. i haven't gotten into the.
end of the shows online is because i'm. like are there enough of these yet where. i can go and do. two and three in a night or do a bunch. right so that i can actually like. cultivate the material and like you know. uh. ruminate it as opposed to just going and. doing a one-off you know. are you going to dump all the old stuff. that you weren't that you had that you. were doing before or no. well i have a i have a special with. netflix set up so yeah hopefully i'll. dump it into there. but when's that going to be filmed right. see that's what i feel like. that's a good question but at a certain. point they'll just be like they're going. to need material.
they're just going to be like look shoot. it at a you know starbucks yeah yeah. shoot it yes cold brew cold brew for. micah. you're slinging joked i just think i. think but i think they need to but i. think this is a good opportunity for. netflix. to film or let people film at very. unique. and different places instead of a. traditional theater instead of like. let's do it at a different kind of venue. right yeah i think about that but then i. think you see outdoors ones are just no. not outdoor do an indoor one.
well bring up that boat thing that nick. that what's his name had in here. who that hand hammer never worked. never ever power crank look at that. concepts yeah remember that thing that. uh. tim dillon had the boat the drive-in. boat show. this guy's so funny i loved him it's. unbelievable with stuff he says. he goes yeah well he shoots for the moon. he sounds like rose limbaugh he is he's. he's argent he's our generation's rush.
yeah except he's sober now yeah rushes. on pills. yeah rush is peeled out but here's. something equipped social distancing. boats coming to los angeles love it. floating cinema yeah great that's just. rich people yeah if you're rich enough. that's great dude here's the crazy thing. that rich people do too oh let's go to. this graveyard and watch a movie. love it oh you [ __ ] on the dead yeah you. let him know that you're above him yeah. espio have you ever been there to. hollywood forever cemetery cenespian. that's what i said one time yeah i love. my heart though seeing that all these.
rich people having a little. cheese on top of [ __ ] you know henry. ford or something. and stuff like that yeah i love that i. love eating on old dead hollywood people. it just shows how little we mean right. it shows how this town. this town you mean nothing you mean. something you mean something for this. long and then you're ellen and then they. kill you. and then you go sit on ellen's grave and. you watch you know. but isn't that part of the thing you. know it's like they built. now it's become such a system they build. you up. yeah and then they tear you down yeah.
they're excited for it. but we've always done that yeah i think. i think yeah look at the bible even. yeah they want they want they have to. take down someone that's at the top. because it feels uh you raise someone up. because you're impressed and then when. you have societally raised them up then. you get tired of. their success because inherently they. have more than you they're. they're they're it's they're bigger than. you yeah so they have to kind of peel. you down a little bit. and it almost and we all need to be para. it's like. we're all imperfect in the end so it's.
like we have. it the truth is yeah that there is a. damn there's a. there's all a down life i mean death is. the day you know death is a. the whole story ends. with an arc you know it's a high and. then a low right the story ends with us. in in a field with someone younger. eating cheese on top of us watching a. movie. yeah that's how the story ends that's. okay as long as you enjoyed it when. you're. above the ground i feel like i'm cool. with.
however the story goes as long as i. am putting forth effort to make it go. somewhere yeah because it's never going. to be. you're never going to have a oh the. whole time. you know what is your industry going to. be like in the acting world because i. know you guys. show dave got picked up for season two. yeah we're supposed to we supposed to. already have been shooting it it should. be almost done by now i think shooting. wow. technically yeah we'll probably not do. it i mean they keep saying november but. i don't think so. i think we'll probably do it next year. and who knows i don't know.
luckily our show is for hulu i mean. it's fx but it's hulu because they're. one now. and so we're digital which is i think. where tv lives anyway. tv's digital dude i don't here's a guy. right here he's got a question. what does he say. is brendan's son who had the idea in. dave. for you guys to have a bath scene. and you wash his back. there's a scene in the dave show where i.
get in the tub with him and we're naked. and i wash his back. we are really naked in the chute yeah. and you know what that wasn't supposed. to be on camera that was that was a. moment of. dave and i kind of having a bonding and. they put it on the show and i don't know. if i appreciated that i think they went. they kind of went above and beyond. um artistic integrity there because we. said we're kind of working the. characters we're trying to figure out. what we need. from each other in the scene so i would. it was a long day it was the end of the. day. i said i'm going to take a bath in this. house that we were shooting and he said. i'd love to take a bath as well there. was only one bath.
i said we'll share a bath but i want a. closed set. they put cameras in there damn it's a. little disturbing but that's what the. business does yeah. they're invasive nothing like putting. two men together and getting them naked. yeah. in this town and this in this town. that's that's really what happens. yeah you know and they filmed it and it. was my choice and. i don't enjoy that they filmed it and. put it out there dude i'll tell you a. story that happened to me i remember i. just remember this when i first got into. town. some man set me up with a guy who was an. agent. right some agent guy i know what this is.
he's like i'll take you to this party or. something so he takes me to a party cuba. gooding jr is there so i'm all excited. he's always there yeah then the guy's. gonna give me a ride drop me back off my. place and even have a car yet right and. i remember the guy saying if you grab my. dick while i drive. my car will go faster did it uh. i didn't touch him oh but i remember. just didn't want to see if it could go. fast. but we've been doing a little bit of. coke you know and i remember thinking uh. first i was like that's insane i don't. you know that sounds. you know that sounds fake yeah i don't.
know if i don't know if there's a. correlation between his penis and. i didn't even realize that the guy was. trying to be. perverted or homoerotic or anything i. didn't realize any of that i just. thought oh this guy. he has a big car he's a gear head this. guy's a real gearhead yeah yeah. but dude i said it twice and then i. remember i remember just having to stand. up for myself you know. yeah at some point i love women dude i. gotta i still had a picture of my. girlfriend in my wallet. showed him you know look at shannon but. he didn't want to see huh he didn't you. know. that killed him bro yeah he's like you. sure that's not shawn yeah that's not a.
sean. but i forgot about that man i guess it's. that kind of town where they want you to. be in a bathtub with a man. yeah well and that's that's exactly. right and when you do want to do it on. your own volition and not have it filmed. they end up putting it on a television. show yeah that's the problem. i got proposed to by a uh a proposition. by. a guy who was trying to be my manager. really yeah he said i'll only take eight. percent but you have to make up the two. percent in other ways. and i said what other ways he said i. want a kissy kiss every time. you drop off money from a job and.
i just was appalled by the even the idea. to kiss him. dropping off a check my money to him and. kissing him yeah but. so after two or three years i had to. drop him i just couldn't do that [ __ ]. anymore especially a kissy kiss. a kissy kiss well yeah because that's. one on the cheek and one on the lips. that's a kissy kiss. the nerve of this guy you know that's. sneaky that's like when your grandmother. was like in her last year of life she. [ __ ] sneaks one in. on you here's a kiss yeah give me a. little kiss let me get that double up. yeah come on nana stop it hit it on the. lips hit me on the lip smell like that.
we smell like. old artichokes. why does everybody feel so cold uh. what else we got nick yeah uh i wanted. to bring. up uh andrew clatt back when you had tom. on your instagram. i was commenting from the king and the. sting instagram oh yeah what did you say. i said the show should just be called. bad. right which i was pretty proud of. actually but yeah hit him pretty hard. he's self-promotion. i like it though yeah this is nick i'm.
helping out king of steak. comment whoring gets you a lot of. followers right but uh. then he clapped back and he said uh well. your show should be called yeah man and. coveted boy. yeah man what are you saying yeah man. and cobra well here's one of my. favorites too man well you know we. i got you know i got a lot of hate for. this by the way from bobby bobby tom. came on as a guest on. no no no no no no no yeah tom came on. whiskey ginger. and we went to the bad friend studio and. tom this was tom's idea. to say that he's going to replace bobby.
bobby. i'm not kidding was [ __ ] livid i was. like it's a joke. he's like it's not funny it's not. [ __ ] funny you think you just. replaced me i was like bob. we're kidding if tom of course is not. gonna do the show yeah that's joking. but also bobby was mad so. he's bobby's so oddly fragile he's so. fragile. he's just a delicate little he's like. something you get at the airport and. it's like nice but you're like how do i. keep this i got to go two flights you. have to hold it the whole flight didn't. put it in a bag i'm tired i'm gonna go.
to sleep i took a pill. you fall asleep for two seconds it's on. the floor and it's cracked already. yeah i had to do i had to do a little. clap back into the king and the sting. rename your show yeah man and culver boy. well that was good. there's another one that's really good. too go to uh. a different pitcher go to go back to his. main uh. and cheetos santino's you can where you. can follow andrew i'm sure a lot of you. guys already do but. um there was another one you posted. i said that you commented on yeah i. can't remember which one you said. something on. go down a little more maybe or if not.
it's that one in the middle maybe right. if i just dylan on our laps if i scroll. down on instagram. through his page it'll probably just. you'll be the type of show where it is. that uh uh okay yeah whatever you think. is best nick that's dylan that's me. and then me rogan and krish are holding. dylan on our laps you know what's so. funny like that is a picture that. genuinely makes me go. god damn i miss hanging out with friends. doing stand-up and [ __ ] around. i mean what like i really that's the. kind of stuff that genuinely when i. scroll past sometimes.
it just makes me a little you know a. little soft i go [ __ ] i'm just hanging. out and saying hi to people. i think we didn't know how good oh i. think everybody. and this includes everybody for their. own walk of life everybody didn't know. how good we had it oh we had it so good. we did whatever we wanted. is the freest country in the world we're. allowed to do whatever we want all the. time. and then when this happens here you just. goes to show you how restrictive life. can be. when something gets in your way i mean. oh yeah what can you do no we're almost. yeah i feel like we're damn. which one was it go down a little bit.
more it couldn't have been that further. away because we just he. i remember it just happened okay i don't. remember what it was was that on your. personal account or whatever if it was. bad. it could have been the bad friends. account yeah maybe. maybe it was bad friends it could have. been i was like oh i got asked to do. this show. oh i'm glad bobby found somebody to do. to do this show with him that's what it. was. that's what it was maybe it's a bad. friends episode maybe on that one. no you know what go back to my profile i. bet you it was. that same picture i'm telling you i bet. you the exact same picture with tom.
and you said i got i think theo i think. you said i got asked to do this show. i got us to do this show and i said you. already do a show with a handicapped guy. yes. shout out brendan shaw man shout out to. shannon shout out bar door. yeah that's our boy we love barney. barnyard showers. he's gonna get freaking mad no he's not. yes he will he's not because he knows. how much of we love him that's true. you're right you're right. he knows love there's a big difference.
also what did what did uh. go back up in that scroll that what did. uh let me i'm gonna ask you this though. look at that what. oh i thought that was somebody else. never mind i was like who did i thought. that was george. who could fight it might be up at the. top yeah it usually does how why does it. should call it just bad oh. he did that if you think you get no keep. going yeah that's you again. mistake rick and his alcoholic burn. victim friend look at that. nick kept throwing punches he should but. did i comment after that and i commented. that one i don't know. no because i was busy and that is theo's. line alcoholic burn victim i gotta.
yeah yeah i know i know i like that. that's what i love and that's when the. rat king shows up dude when he's gotta. freaking defend his well he doesn't have. a choice at some point yeah. uh do you think who do you think's gonna. win this election do you think. it's interesting yeah now i changed my. opinion i used to think. um i genuinely used to think. not and i'm not saying i'm not putting. you on a political side or anything i'm. just talking this openly who do we think. could win this election no no no no it's. not a political thing i used to think.
trump was going to win for sure i. thought i thought in my mind i was like. there's just no way. because he was so polarizing and and he. it just was controlling the country. keep that up nick and then now i don't. think so anymore i just don't. i think in lieu of what's going on i. don't think so who won the 2020. presidential election. and this is over the past year. what the percentage is yeah see there. you go yeah that's what i was going to. say. there you go i still don't know i i. don't think he will anymore due to the. fact that.
well he bombed during the black lives. matter thing he didn't. between blm and the pandemic i think are. a perfect storm for him to. cause him to lose yeah do you know what. i mean i think that's what i'm i think. those two things will make it go. nick is just checking his fantasy stuff. it's always checking in. no i know i laid a couple of years ago i. laid money on trump. on 2020 yeah what did you put down i put. down 250. that he'd win again yeah and it was like. 10-0 was there a parlay do you get what.
i saw the same thing it was before he. had won the pr the the. republican the first the republican. nominee he was plus 800 and like. you knew he was going to win that so at. that point it's 50 50 essentially. like what are the odds right now for. biden and him uh it's like uh. biden's the favor those are let's see. them those yeah. sorry nick no no no no yeah i do want to. see this i do want to see the favorites. because that's why. i think minus one fifty thirty five wow. well see that's silly why would they. throw why would they throw in hillary.
clinton and michelle obama because. here's what happens. just in case if biden can't make. physically cannot do it. the electoral college gets to pick yeah. uh or the is it the representatives the. there's a group that gets to then put. somebody in his yes. sure i mean the dnc then gets to replace. right the dnc then gets to put somebody. instead that's why a lot of people still. think. and i've thought this the whole time. that hillary clinton is going to slip in. at the last minute. and uh and replace him or somebody is.
but michelle obama has never even talked. about being up. she's just i don't know she just. launched a podcast on spotify tv yeah. that's because they want to get paid. 2024. they got they got seven emmy. nominations from their. look the obamas have parlayed. their presidency into being media moguls. now oh yeah. intelligently so if you're gonna get out. of being a president you can't just play. golf and sew. because they're still young they did the. thing that. you would do if you were that young. you'd go well let's get a media deal.
with netflix for a hundred million. dollars. make [ __ ] employ people and keep making. money. what about this and here's a here's a. different question what do you think the. effects of the pandemic. will have on how people vote. that's what i start to wonder because i. start to wonder if a lot of people think. that we're going to head towards. socialism. yeah then they're going to be voting. against that i start to wonder if a lot. of people think that. um the president is the one who got us. into this situation. then people are going to vote against.
are going to vote democratic because of. that. you know it just starts to make me. wonder how like this. this thing that we're in right now is. gonna make people. vote because i don't even know if people. are voting for one person. anymore that much i mean i feel like as. much as they're voting against. how they want the world to be and what. they think. i think people used to vote for their. party right i think a lot of times. people voted for their party i think now. people are voting. because it's diverse now yeah i think. people hate the other person now.
yeah yeah what you said i think people. used to vote oh i don't really love the. guy but i'm a republican so i vote for. xyz. now i think people go i [ __ ] hate. uh joe biden or i hate hillary or. whoever and they go off so i'm oh i'm. for sure going to vote for this guy. regardless of yeah the party they just. get so. they get so annoyed with with the other. party that they're like i'll do anything. to get rid to not to make sure they. don't get in. you know which in essence is the same. but i think it's more personal now. people. people really who hate trump hate trump.
people who hate biden and hillary. and and and bernie same way they had the. same kind of hate on both sides so. but people have gotten so dive people. are more they're. we just have to get away from this. two-part two-party system is the most. flawed thing on earth yeah. and hopefully that's what i think is. that whatever is going on. over the past eight years four years and. in the future is. that's where it's leading us well you. should be able to pick you should be. able to pick from. you know what you have to have an odd. number isn't it wouldn't that be the. isn't that the case per so you'd have to.
have like three per side or something. like that yeah. so yeah if it was three candidates from. the republican party three candidates. from the democratic party. that's who you would want to put up a. fight because then you'd get. an extreme from the republican a a. middle from the republican and then a. more. almost left-leaning republican or or. someone like. you know um pete buddha judge you know. who that you know yeah. judges almost like he could be both i. don't even he's somewhere in the middle. you know he's a gay vet who loves guns. but also is.
is pro-gay marriage but also is very. conservative in his. financial approach about taxes so you're. like this guy's kind of all over the. place but you need that option. to be viable because it's legitimate. that's how people think these days. nobody is one way. at all no one's all the way in on. anything i don't believe it to be true i. wish we elected the president. and the vice president i always thought. that bernie and trump would have been a. good ticket. yeah like why does he get to bring his. friend to the party that we didn't. approve i don't understand that it's. always weird because yeah why did they.
get to bring in. because then you could really check the. say if somebody got president then you. could check them. by having a uh a vice president. that had different views and like. totally incorporated more of your you. know. more of your views so then it would. always be like they're always going to. have somebody that they're going to have. to. discuss things with yeah you know yeah. no i think i think people are going to. this is going to change a lot but it. i'll change a lot but also i think. i think we need to get back to a place.
where we step back. after all this chaos and we start to. understand that like agenda. isn't the way to get messages across we. need to have conversations yeah because. people are just hearing stuff and then. they get mad. like i got mad the other night not mad. but i just got i was like this is [ __ ]. there's a procter and gamble commercial. procter and gamble is a major [ __ ]. corporation. and it's a commercial where it's a young. it's a young black dad with his son. and they get looks everywhere they go. right there's a little girl waving out. of a mercedes a little white girl. and the mom rolls up the window when she. sees that she's waving at a black kid.
and then he puts his son in the pool. and a and a white dad gets his son out. of the pool because the black guy. is in the pool and then the very end of. the commercial you see that he's. actually. they were in a courtroom and then you. pan around and he's a judge. the the the dad the black dad and it's. this. thing that's like it's a conversation we. need to have about um. racial inequality and judgment and. silent racist. uh intentions and yada yada. while i know what they're saying i know. what they're trying to communicate. i think that is so poorly done yeah this.
is the commercial because all this does. to me is sh you could play it and play. in the background because i don't think. there's any it's just music there is no. uh. there's no dialogue but you know they. show him and his son having a good day. and then it's waving at a white girl. in a benz and the mom is like no way you. don't get to wave at blacks like. what what is this from 19 this is this. is now they're airing the [ __ ] right now. and look don't hold the elevator for the. black guy says the three whites in the. elevator. oh my god well i mean dude this is. insane this is going on i just saw this.
last night when i was watching baseball. who was that a thot coming in the door. she's cute huh mm-hmm but look what. would you like to set the. table next to black eye no way we'd. rather sit over here. you know let's get out of the pool i. don't want to get in the pool because. the black guy's in there with his son. right oh you're in a fancy shoe store. look at the black guy look at the black. guy checked on the black guy he's black. we don't know what he's going to do in. here. so right the message is extremely. obvious of what procter gamble is saying. i just want to see what the script is at. the end. uh you know should i skip ahead yeah.
he's a judge now you know we cut to a. courtroom they turn the cameras around. and. obviously we see he's a judge um. and their statement is for him man yeah. and this based on a true story. yeah yeah but it turns out he didn't. even go to school to be a judge. let's all talk ab let's all let's all. what is that let's all talk about the. look so we can. talk about the look so we can see beyond. it okay so here's my here's what here's. what i want to say about this and then i. don't want to ramble on two more about. it but. it made me mad last night because.
i know what they're saying do do many. black people in america. or the maybe all maybe a high majority. feel. that they get that they get things like. this that things like this happen to. them. perhaps yes perhaps so that is that can. be true right yes. this message though is almost like. saying. all white people do this stuff yeah all. of you do this. which is so [ __ ] wrong and not true. that. this should say there's a very small.
percentage of white people who. publicly have no shame in being racist. right and they're [ __ ] [ __ ]. and [ __ ] them forever yeah but but the. conversation that should it should say. let's talk about how people are. blatantly racist. and why it's wrong versus this shows. different factions of white people at. different levels of life. shunning black people and it's almost. saying. this is what you do without knowing it. it's like no the [ __ ] i don't right. no the [ __ ] i don't put that saying like. it's a this.
i believe in my heart that most the high. majority of whites in this country. aren't inherently racist towards black. people in that fashion i agree right i. just don't believe that to be true and. i've agreed it for a long time. do i think there's some people that are. yes right yes. there are probably a portion of people. that see a black guy in a pool. and don't swim in it because that that. white guy's racist okay. do i think most do that no yeah but this. message is like saying. most if not all white people are racist. towards black people and i. just don't believe it i i just don't.
think that's true. because it is perpetuating a narrative. that is. that is so broad how could you encompass. all those ignorant to have this be the. narrative almost. yeah it's [ __ ] up because that's not. how i [ __ ] feel so you're speaking. for me now. right proctor and [ __ ] gamble yeah. and so the. and a lot of this comes from i think the. people who make these commercials now. and who are in the driver's seat of a. lot of the advertising and all that. they're all from a lot of the same. places yeah it's the same repeat people.
over and over again who have never lived. in different communities right. and so they think that this is what it's. like everywhere because that's what they. see. they don't live in those worlds you said. exactly what i said on. uh this last podcast i did with. fitzsimmons my biggest beef. with a lot of white people yelling the. loudest is they don't interact with. anybody of color. anyway right they have no black friends. they have no. [ __ ] saying just black friends they have. no friends of any other race besides. whites. so then they go this is what i think.
other whites do right. well that you don't live in the world. especially procter and [ __ ] gamble. a trouble a massive corporation yeah. what world do you live in that you know. that and what i would rather see what i. think it would be more helpful. yeah would be to sow a commercial that. shows people of all ethnicities. treating a different ethnicity a certain. way. yeah because i think there's i believe. that there's way more bigotry. in the country than there is actual. inherent or.
you know like that systemic racism. people talk about yeah i think there's. way more bigotry that goes all types of. ways. oh please like everyone is racist there. is so much bigotry to. any other race yeah it's not just a a. street of of. one-way street of white people being. racist to black people are so tired. white people who have been doing their. best their entire lives to not be racist. and to be supportive of black community. to be supportive of black artists. my my favorite comedians are black. and have been my whole life well the.
most popular ones are yeah. like the best and they're the most. popular the most popular musicians like. i feel like there's a lot of like. support of black culture. i see that a lot more than i see stuff. like this anymore correct. um because this exists i'm not saying it. doesn't but it's so. small and you're making the rest of us. who aren't that way. you're making us angry not at black. people but you're making us angry at. this repeated. beating us over the head yes with the. narrative that doesn't apply to us. that you keep putting us into and i.
think you're gonna have a lot of people. that are gonna vote in uh in the. election. against the media yeah and i don't know. what that vote looks like for them but i. think a lot of. people don't care who the candidates are. but if they can find a way to. vote against [ __ ] like this that's what. they want you said it right bro. they're beating you in the head with a. narrative that doesn't apply to you and. so it. infuriates people like me to go you're. saying that. you're it's like you're saying i need to. have this conversation. about racists i already know there's.
racist pieces of [ __ ] yeah i don't need. [ __ ] them the conversation used to have. look how many people in our communities. at least the ones that i live in or my. friendship circle people that i'm a part. of. that are supportive of other cultures. and races and we get along and we enjoy. one another's company. if you put that image out more don't you. think that does better don't you think. it does better to show us interacting. with other cultures and races versus. going. this happens all the time this is. happening on a daily basis no. i have enough black friends that have. told me they get treated differently in.
different situations. yeah i they have to my face been like no. when i walk into this kind of place. i get treated like this that's right it. happens right. but this is once again that is a small. amount of people. who are outwardly racist and do racist. things right. i'm not talking about subconscious races. i'm not talking about when you. when you when someone says they see a. black guy in a nice car and they go oh. he must be a rapper or an athlete. you know in their mind they go he can't. just be a lawyer right that's. subconscious racism that people have. i'm talking about this is blatant.
obvious get my kid out of the pool. there's a black guy in the pool. this i just don't believe that this is. rampant i just and maybe it is in. certain parts of the world but. our country but i got to tell you that. ain't the [ __ ] majority no it's not. at all dude i was in oklahoma we were. touring we stopped in oklahoma at a lake. right this is one small little bitty. example we stopped in a place. yeah where if you showed pictures of the. place to. anybody in one of the coastal cities. they'd be like oh man you know i bet.
there's. you know i bet there racism everywhere. right we went out and stopped and went. swimming in the side of this lake right. and it was mostly white people they had. three black kids there. or two black children that seemed full. black fully african-american and then. one black kid that seemed black and. white it was mexican and they were. part of the they had a black and white. couple and then they had a. one of the kids had been adopted and it. was like. they nobody there was doing there was no. race everybody's.
having a good time like that's so much. more of what i've seen in my life. same i see more of that than i see the. other side and we travel the country. when somebody goes. you're a california liberal you don't. [ __ ] know what do you mean i lived on. planes for 10 years. going to every part of this country. seeing all different cultures. and yeah there are people that are that. have hate in their heart they exist. but you can't help that as much as you. can't help anything else it's like. that's going to ignorance will exist but. i think the message we need to show. people.
is people getting along with other. people we need positivity in this shitty. time. show people interacting with people of. other procter gamble put out a. commercial. about how we're doing our best to be one. to be a race of humans. instead of this [ __ ] great divide you. know instead of. you know because it's not even real bro. that's the thing i know the divide is. not even real. no they've made it they've made it more. of a thing yeah the news wins when you. do that that's the scary thing well look. at what they did in portland you know. this is it's a [ __ ] war in portland.
and you know look up the [ __ ] stats. of portland i just looked it up the. other day you know it's like it's not. even that bad. but but it's also like these storming. the streets for. for for black lives matter i understand. why people are protesting but you look. up portland oregon. on [ __ ] wikipedia and you're like the. inherent. [ __ ] racist past of portland oregon. you want to talk about go google it. of railroad workers that were black that. were basically socially enslaved in this. [ __ ] city. for years and it's and it's one of the.
highest percentages of all white. communities in the united states. there's all these [ __ ] loud angry. white people with no black friends with. no black communities near. them but they're mad at things they have. no connection to and you're like. how real can it be when you've never. lived with any. other race do you really know what. you're talking about that's the thing. i've always said that. like how do you know you don't [ __ ]. live him it's like 79. [ __ ] white or something insane you're. like what. little i just like you're the most. segregated [ __ ] city in the united.
states you're the most mad i don't. understand. like i don't get it that kind of stuff. blows my [ __ ] brain. that's crazy man i i just i just i get. frustrated because i'm like. yeah no he's frustrated we should be. coming together as. one dude and we should because that's. what we're actually doing in real life. we. are coming together yeah bro you watch. sport like. we are in reality we are coming together. you look at younger generation. all their friend groups i feel like a. lot of their friend groups are really. mixed. same i see that all the time all the.
time but why isn't that on procter and. [ __ ] gamble. i don't know that's what my point is. like we need to push that narrative more. for us to be like yo. we're trying to get we're trying as a. community to grow and most people do i. think yeah andrew i think a lot of. people choose we can choose to and i. there are moments in the week. where i choose to want to get angry yeah. and so i go to find those things to. totally. make me that way but we need to not. anymore i think and we're trying and we. can do better. yeah that's what we can do better yeah. is not imbibe in their [ __ ]. right it's just pushing to the side yeah.
if i want to be racist i'll be racing as. damn brendan he's [ __ ] half british i. found out yesterday is he really yeah. and you know you can't trust those. i mean you can trust him no you. documented that it's risky it's very. risky. it has a bad history he's half british. dude his aunt has an accent. oh [ __ ] really yeah. good day bro yeah ugh chip chip peerio. yeah clean out the gemini pub. that's his aunt dude she's putting a. thicky thick up on the roof right with a.
damn. you know feather deal dude i got to come. on uh with you yeah you got to come on. you got to come on i want to have you on. so we can sit and talk and. yeah i want to come on a couple of. people shop yeah do they have. non-alcoholic whiskey i wonder. if not they have uh they have. de-alkalized. wine they have like soju that's. de-alkalized i don't know i'm gonna i'm. gonna find some i'll find some whiskey. that's do alkalize. let's try something huh yeah they gotta. have something that's close to it i'll. call free whiskey there you go they. gotta have something can we order let's. order one right now if you can if we can. nick yeah yeah yeah and then i'll bring.
it in. that's great it's probably ritual zero. proof it is. and that's manhattan and i'll make you. an old fashioned or something oh yeah. yeah we'll make something good get a. bottle dude i'll come in yeah i want to. come in i'll come in a couple weeks i. think it'll be really fun. and we won't yell about what's going on. in the news as much it's just my passion. got real. it's okay man well it's just last night. rubbed me the wrong way. and then you know what's so funny i i. took my pictures and i just made me it. made me feel okay again you took that. dog. out i took my dog out and i was like. okay it's fine i was mad for a little. bit and then i was like. that's fine life is okay.
right animals will show you that life is. fine like it's just. right they just show you that they're. like no it's [ __ ]. we're gonna be okay we just keep. functioning the way that we function you. don't need to worry about other people's. [ __ ]. like just it's really true man it's like. yeah we just have it's always. that it's just like do what you can do. yeah do what you can do. try your best we're all gonna die so. have some fun figure it out be as cool. as you can. yeah be a part of yeah try yeah just try. to be a part of. something that's a little different you. know sometimes it's tough you know yeah.
sometimes you grow up with stereotypes. dude like i grew up yeah we. didn't have any wealthy black people. when i was growing up except for some. athletes. right so then i would get older and when. i would see a black eye in a nice car. i would think oh is that guy at us for a. certain age i would think. oh that guy must be an art a musician or. an athlete. right because you never saw anything. else it was the only thing that was the. only way black. people could get ahead but now. in places you see a black eye it's not. you don't think the same thing.
no well if you live in an area that has. thriving culture yeah yeah it helps to. live in a place where you go. a major metropolitan area when you see. people have millions of different. careers and there's not just one way to. get out of a. either impoverished or lower. socioeconomic place right you when you. see it. you learn it you grow yeah the more you. [ __ ] travel. the more you meet more people and i. don't mean travel to like i'm. vacationing in france i mean. go two states over yeah go see how other. people live in different places you. automatically learn. inherently that your view of culture is.
not the it's your. little telescope is all you see in your. hometown when you leave that and you go. to other places you go. [ __ ] they don't function like that they. don't feel this way it's worse. that's one thing that's great i think. about the whole black lives matter. movement is it duh. it has made me examine how do i. look at other races and cultures like. just to make sure like check in and be. like do you have a different do you have. like preconceived notions when you see a. black guy sure. like just from your own stereotype or.
stereotypes over the years or your own. experiences. do you have preconceived notions about. anybody i think there's been some i. noticed a little bit where i'm like. i'm a little bit more pensive sometimes. when i see black people i have a fear. just from my own experiences growing up. right you know growing up like uh but i. don't think that's racist as much as. that is just. your your your childhood right agreed i. agree. right but also it's good like some of. this movement has made me stop and look. and say hey man. be you can do you can try to be. to not carry those sometimes totally you.
can try to. because people can feel that energy and. i don't have i mean i have black friends. you know i have. like i don't always have it but there's. moments. where it's like hey man you know. recognize that you're just kind of. having maybe a little bit of that flare. up or a little bit of stereotype and see. if you could just not. you know try to let it be you know well. yeah because you know that. so that's one thing that's great about. this i do think is that it does. it helps people be introspective yes. yeah you should look inside yourself. and i think that's a positive thing.
because you know that any flaw you have. doesn't come from hate. yeah right that's the difference that's. why i'm asking people to let people grow. yeah it's like i'm sure it doesn't come. from hate i'm sure it comes from. ignorance or. or or or or misinformation or a lack of. or a lack of interaction that's okay. let's let people grow though and yeah. because otherwise we're. we're [ __ ] we're all gonna be canceled. what's that zero. oh you bought it oh i like it hey man i. like it we can't put yeah that's i like. that well.
can we get some zero-proof coke nick. will you order that as well dude we can. get some b12 actually and do that. let's let's do some b12 that's what you. do on tv when you sniff yeah. i've done it before dude i did something. i hit some uh a pilot like a year and a. half ago. and they had it there's like these two. like 15 year old girls doing it at this. pool. and i went over there and did about. eight lines this is the good old days oh. yeah bro i've been. yeah pissed like a [ __ ] straight up. wizard dude like a water wizard the rest. of that day. the b12 does uh it does kind of give you. a little tickle though oh like it. doesn't make it wake you up a little bit.
it's a little baby bump yeah it's like. uh whoa whoa whoa what up. okay it's only it's only a couple. seconds but then. yeah we'll have you on we'll drink some. some zero proof i'm in yeah the world. the world will be it will be a better. place too it will man uh. check android on bad friends and whiskey. ginger thanks so much. thank you dude i appreciate it thank you. bro now i'm just floating. on the breeze and i feel like. [Music].
[Music]. it in my bones. but it's gonna take a little time. for me to set that parking brake and let. myself. on my. i'll sit and tell you my stories.
[Music]. [Music]. and now i've been moving way too fast on. the runaway train with a heavy load of. my. hands. and these wells that i've been robbing.
on they want so. they just.
