A Mortician | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #301

today's guest is a certified death man. he is uh he's that he's that sherpa that. helps you. through that last step into the final. front kia. today's guest is here to talk everything. about. everything we don't know about death. and being dead ladies and gentlemen it's. mortician. frank giles myself.

i'll sit and tell you my stories. [Applause]. uh we are here today with frank giles. thank you for being here man.

you're quite welcome it's an honor well. it's um. it's nice to have you in here man it's. nice to have somebody that's really that. concierge kind of for the. for the dark arts you're really right. there i mean you're that last. you're kind of the bellhop for the devil. or for god really that's right. that's one way to look at it you know. you word check we're checking your. reservation or you know. we're going to get you there one one way. or the other yeah yeah uh. i got to ask you this take me through. the process of when you guys. get a body okay the first thing that.

happens. is normally a phone call and that phone. call. most of the time is going to come from. either a hospice nurse. a nurse at a hospital nursing home. or either maybe even the county coroner. and they're going to call. and they're going to say you know we've. had a patient. expire or we've had a we've got a client. in need of your services. and they're going to have they're going.

to say something like that. and then we're going to go through and. get some information such as. you know their name where they're. located who the next of kin is. and just some short information and then. the next thing that happens is we've got. to receive that body. entire care so it doesn't matter if it's. at a house. or a hospital or an you know nursing. home. wherever that person dies we've got to. go. you have to go to that locale we've got.

to go to that location. and most of the time see i'm in a small. community in hopkinsville kentucky. we don't have pla people that. you know take bodies to the morgue and. we don't pick them up in the morning. when they call us we're rolling that. immediately. oh it's a one-stop shop over there with. you guys that's right so when you call. if you call us at two o'clock in the. morning we've got an answering service. that answers our phone at night. and so they're gonna take down all the. information and then they're gonna call.

us. we're gonna wake up you know from dead. sleep. we're going to put our suits on we're. going to go to the funeral home get the. hearse. and then we'll roll into the location. now when you go to that locale do you. show up. do you go by yourself or you take a. sidekick no we've we always take two. people. because in the words of forrest gump you. know. when you go to a house call especially. you don't ever know what you're gonna. get. i mean somebody could be dead in a bed. or they could be. they could have died on the toilet like.

elvis i mean you you really. don't know you got to go in there that's. right we've got to. we've got to bring that person out of. that house no matter. where they've died in the house whether. it be the attic the basement the. bathroom the bedroom. whether they be a hundred pounds whether. they be 500 pounds. you know we've got to get that person. and we've got to bring them out of the. house and to the funeral home. have you ever had to call for backup you. know you show up and they got somebody. they're real girthed out you know. somebody's real just fully just. you know just a real big dog or a big.

lady most of the time. they will tell us that ahead of time you. know somebody will try to give. give us a heads up and say uh you might. need to bring some extra help or. whatever you might want to bring. somebody from the gym. yeah you know yeah you know but i've. taken as many as four or five people. out to one house you know to get a body. or you know to. a hospital you know to make sure that we. can get the body back. and how do y'all do you guys just like. everybody like on the count of three. let's lift like that kind of deal or are.

the bodies hard when you get there or. are they still soft. uh it depends on how long they've been. dead sometimes they're still warm. they're still soft and warm sometimes. they've already gone into. rigor mortis and that's where they kind. of stiffen up. but you know in the funeral industry. one of the things that you will use more. than most. is a clean white sheet you know when we. go. we'll take it we'll take a white sheet. and it doesn't have to be white but any. type of sheet. will roll it under them and everything.

get a sheet under them. so we can lift up on the sheet you know. we've got other devices that are. designed to do that that have handles. so if you've got a large person that you. know that are rated for you know. 500 1 000 pounds and everything so that. you can. because that's the thing about a. deceased person. is they are what they what's considered. dead weight. wow and so but if you've got something. with handles that you can use. it makes lifting it a whole lot easier. okay so sometimes if it's a real big dog.

or a real big gal you got to really get. that tarp under them or something real. stupid that's right. you gotta you've got to get some type of. body. mover under them so that you can lift. them up and get them to your mortuary. cot. um and it it what's the uh biggest. person you think you've ever retrieved. out there. uh probably just under 600 pounds. that's big huh that is big and so you. get the body now in a larger city there. is a. they'll go to the corner first or what.

is that what is the corner. well the corner depending upon the. county and. the situation like for instance in. in our county the coroner responds if. someone isn't. under hospice care or isn't under. doctor's care. and then he responds and so. for instance like if if we walked in. and just found you dead here today then. they would call the. they would call and the police would.

come and the coroner would come. and they would do a death investigation. and if they. decided that it was no foul play there's. no need for an autopsy. then they're going to call us and we're. going to come. get you so everybody doesn't get. autopsied no. no and it all depends upon your area. one thing that most people don't realize. with funeral homes and some of the laws. and things. is they are very state by state and even. in the state sometimes regional as far.

as funeral customs. and like in a bigger city they're going. to be a lot more autopsies. whereas you know where i am there's very. few autopsies wow so it's just direct to. you it's direct to. farm the table really exactly because in. christian county. we don't have a medical examiner a. medical examiner is the actual person. as a pathologist that does the autopsies. okay. there's one in madisonville kentucky.

that covers the whole western part of. the state of kentucky. so there's one for like a third of the. state. so you know they can't send everybody to. him otherwise he'd be overworked. yeah and so a lot of times it's just you. know. uh heart attack or you know you know. they'll go through they'll ask the. family. did he have any heart conditions what. was his medical history. and then you know they'll make their. judgment based on that. so if you had to get if you had to kill.

somebody right if i'm a killer. all right you're a killer and what is. there do i want to kill in a particular. type of county that may not have. that may be more rural that would. probably be. a better better way to get away with it. in a smaller community because that way. you know they don't have all that. necessarily resources have you ever. rolled up on a body and they're like. yeah they just died naturally and you. kind of felt like they didn't but it's. not really your responsibility. no not really we've got good.

professionals that they do their job and. everything else. now one time i did roll up on a suicide. and they had you know they had worked. worked it and everything else and how. they'd do it. you know they said rope or gun to me no. it was you know self-inflicted gunshot. wound to the head. you know it was from the bottom or from. the side i can't remember. but the thing about it was. they had when they'd gone through and. cleared the scene.

when i went over there to start my part. i called one of the deputies back in and. i said. um do y'all want this gun for evidence. or you know because it was still right. there. oh wow they just left the gun there and. it's like okay before i touch anything. and ruin the. contaminate this scene what is what's. happening here and they're like oh we. forgot to move that. yeah i believe you did thank you captain. obvious. things get a little shoddy out there. occasionally you know i guess it was the.

night shift you know. oh yeah man tonight [ __ ] that's like. when you go to like a hampton inn or. something and they got that night. manager. it's barely somebody that's even alive. sometimes you know dude they had a blind. i was in knoxville tennessee this is. probably. nine 12 years ago and they had a blind. man working as a night manager man. and he just looked trapped back there i. felt like somebody just i don't even. know if he knew where he was but. you hit that bell and he'd come out. there you know so night manager can be. anybody.

um what about this so now you get the. body. okay all right so take us from there. once you get that body. um then what happens what do you do with. it. okay so when we get the body back to the. funeral home. oh yeah if the body is going to be. embalmed. then we go ahead and we start the. embalming process. immediately immediately if it's two. o'clock in the morning. we're gonna start embalming damn because. the thing about our business.

is you don't know when the next person's. going to die. you might you might go a entire day. and not get anybody but then the next. day you might get four back to back. how often do people die um well for. instance we. at our current location we'll do about. 125. funerals a year okay out of one facility. and then i've got another facility. that's going to do about 120 calls a. year. what's the most dianous time of year.

when do people. tend to really just say all right i'm. gonna die i'm dying. normally normally your first quarter. january february march. why you know cold. you know stress the holidays are over. because you know i believe that. you know somebody can have the will to. live you know. and in the end you know they've got. thanksgiving they've got christmas. they're waiting you know the family's. coming in at christmas the family's. coming in at thanksgiving.

but then in january they're like we. won't see them again for another year. or maybe maybe they'll come in at the. summer and. get depressed and you know hell but then. i'm out. and you know they once you get depressed. you know you kind of just. you know how it was but back when. everybody was under quarantine and. couldn't see your friends and everything. else oh yeah. everybody got depressed oh you couldn't. even tickle anybody i remember that. that's right they try to take a guy to. jail for tickling somebody. uh in pennsylvania so yes stuff just.

haywire man uh so people will hold out. for the holidays hold out for that time. with the family. once the super bowl's over though people. are like oh effort i'm dead. that's right normally normally in the. funeral business. if it's your first quarter and your last. quarter or your two busiest times. okay and um so what you get that body. you know you pick that sucker up how do. you know if they're going bomb or if. they're going uh. dust because we're going to talk to the. family.

most of the time we'll talk to the. family either by. the families there where the body is if. it's at the. nursing home or if it's at their home. the family's there. and we'll have a interaction with the. family and go ahead and talk to them. about some preliminary things. get permission to do the embalming and. then we'll go back. and sometimes they might say well no he. wants to be cremated or. you know we're going to do this you know. and so we want it done different but. but once we get permission we're going. back to the funeral home and we're going.

to start that embalming process. now if they go cream right do you. do you how do y'all do it y'all do stove. y'all do like bar like not barbecue but. like luau style how do y'all do it. no it's more of a it's there's a crim. the crematory has this chamber. that you put the body in and that's how. the body's cremated. and is it briquettes or wood like what. is in there do you know no it's gas. oh damn because it has to be pre it's. preheated to about 1400 degrees before.

the body goes in. and do you put the body in there no i've. got somebody else that does that. okay and is that a trustworthy person. usually that person to me seems. shady yeah no that's that's a very. trustworthy person. wow because i just can't i mean if i. and how long does it take to really. grill somebody down. most of the time it depends upon the the. size of the person. and how new the crematory is like a. grandparent though how much you think. oh you know you're probably you're.

probably a little over an hour. damn and what about like a oh what about. that 600 pounder. now see that's different because. you think of somebody that's 600 pounds. and the fat that's on oh yeah. that becomes a controlled grease fire. so it's there are the crematories have. weight limits on them. so some crematories can only do 500.

pounds. some of them can only do like 700 pounds. some of them are rated for a thousand. and so you have to um you have to make. sure that. you don't get somebody too large yeah. for that for that crematory because. otherwise you can get a prop you can. have a major problem. one of my friends who was um. who had a crematory he was cremating. somebody. and he didn't realize that they were as. obese as they were and so.

he had a grease fire going you couldn't. tell it from inside. but the crematory was smoking and. they're not supposed to smoke. because the afterburner is supposed to. be burning off all that smoke. well he was in downtown in a city and. rolling black smoke he gets a call from. the funeral home. and what he just said it to cook and. left he's just like no he was sitting he. was sitting inside the building with the. crematory oh. and so he was sitting inside in there. you know he didn't notice. and he didn't he couldn't see all the. smoke outside and he gets a call from.

probably a native american i guess yeah. hey man. i got some rough signals rolling up but. it was but the funeral home was actually. across the street from the crematory. and somebody from the funeral home. calling said what's going on over there. you're rolling a lot of smoke well about. the same time that they called. the fire department showed up and the. fiber department had to come. that well the fire department came. because there's all this smoke and it. it wasn't anything that needed the fire.

department. but they but they just showed up wow so. needless to say he learned a lot that. day. dang so so because the body what it's. just it's just like having uh yeah my. sister sometimes her and her husband. will make um. cracklings you know they'll make. cracklings in the yard and they'll cut. up all the fat and put it in this big. open thing. and somebody's got to be right there. with like a boat or just kind of hitting. it every now and then. once they put the body in the cream. until in the end of the crematorium. into the furnace do they kind of hit it.

with a thing every now and then or they. just it's one time it's kind of just. you know starting and close the door no. it's kind of start and close the door. and then and then of course they'll run. it through. you know to grind up the bones and. everything that don't burn down. so there's a grinder in there too well. no the grinders after they pull the. cremains out. okay so you put that body in you grill. them down. you know and can you do well done can. you do rare it's just one. no it's just one setting okay damn one. setting you can't you can't get a medium.

rare person. yeah that's what i would go something a. little bit more you know uh. ceviche or something that's quite so. fine yeah. yeah i want to be a little grainy you. know um. so once they get that bone and. everything else burns down. you know they they take and what doesn't. burn down they run through that. kind of grinder and you know to where. they can make it real fine. okay and depending upon depending on. what crematory you use. and what kind of grinder they've got.

some cremains are finer than others. really so who who's more of a fine or. cremain like what are you talking about. like a japanese guy. no no it's it's just you know because a. lot of times there's companies that own. these cr. crematories so that you don't have so. every funeral home doesn't have to own. one. there's like a third party guy that has. this crematory and you take your body. there. and you know they'll go for it for you. and so. some of those guys you know if they have. newer stuff. it might be finer than the olders you.

know if they're running that push mower. yeah yeah yeah totally man yeah yeah. every now and then you get somebody who. just you know they haven't sharpened the. silverware in a while. exactly exactly like damn what do y'all. remain this thing with spoons. one thing one thing about the cremation. process that you'll find interesting. yeah if somebody has a pacemaker that. has to be removed. before cremation because that battery. will explode. no and that bat and if that battery. explodes.

it can actually ruin the chamber that. they use for the cremation. wow it's like when some [ __ ] would. throw a can of wd-40 in a ditch fire. when i was growing up oh yeah. everybody's out there that can't a. hairspray yeah look at that white rain. somebody whip a can of white rain yeah. that projectile's coming at you dude. somebody's going down man. that's when you just let the lord work. man that was kind of like a rural. version of russian roulette man. everybody's out there somebody's cooking.

a wiener a couple kids are just running. just jumping through the fire you notice. little evil knievels. and then some a-hole just uh just. freaking just flips a can of uh aqua net. into that bastard. that's right and you know somebody's. it's just pure luck from there on out. um okay so if those are the body you. have any questions shawn that came up we. got one from. melissa about uh hey theo this is. melissa calling from jacksonville. florida. i have a question for the mortician.

um the question is have you ever had a. customer. request you to embalm them when they. were alive. gang gang gang baby beautiful young lady. asking these death questions right here. and. have you ever had anybody just want to. you know get a little hit of it. no i have not because you know i could. imagine that that would be. quite painful if you were still living. yeah yeah because you know one of the. things that we do. is we wire their mouth shut and you know. once you start.

i would imagine that that would hurt and. when we do. when we make our incision to and start. injecting the fluid i imagine once. once we hit you with that fluid it's. going to burn so. say a living person even just took a. couple grand or a couple you know. 20 milliliters in the arm or something i. mean would it kill somebody you think i. would i would venture to say if you were. injecting it into your artery it would. probably. would wow what's in it well. there's a lot of different things in it. there's formaldehyde.

glutaraldehyde perfuming agents you know. water conditioning agents and so but the. bulk of them. are formaldehyde and glutaraldehyde. and so that's what and as a matter of. fact this is a bottle. of arterial solution really so this has. got your formaldehyde in it. and your glitter out hide in it i said. death graveyard that's right. this one's called chromatek pink made by. dodge chemical company. and who goes pink do different people go. a different color that might be for a.

lady. sometimes you mix mix the colors but. most of the time you can use chromatek. pink. on a man on a woman it doesn't matter oh. i want something a little more. gray or something well you know we've. got some we've got some suntan dyes and. stuff that we can put in there. can kind of make it a little darker you. know something like that you know so. you've got some dyes that you can put. some stuff in there. and then of course the cosmetics that. you use. can also make it to where if you want. you know if you want to look like that.

bronzer look you know like you've been. laying out you know you can't just came. back from florida yeah. with that one last tan huh that's right. that final tan. i love that man so you got a couple. items here you got that chromatek pink. and so that's the. that's just that big sip you put it. right into somebody right how many. bottles that you throw into somebody. well normally about two that's it uh-huh. because we'll mix this. up we'll mix this with some other fluids. that we have. you know such as a water conditioner.

another fluid that's called pro flow. that's kind of like a vein. conditioner and an artery conditioner. and we'll mix all that in about two and. a half gallons. of total solution and so it's about two. and a half gallons of solution. that we put in the average body okay and. so what. that what we do is we put that and. inject that. with an embalming machine through the. artery. and at the same time it's pushing the.

blood and stuff. out the vein okay so you don't drain the. body first. no it's a simultaneous process okay so. where do you put the entry and where do. you put the out tree. well different embalmers use different. locations where do you go. i normally go don't tell anybody i. normally go to the femoral down here on. the leg. okay because that way daddy getting wild. because that way if it's a. if it's a lady and she's got a low-cut. garment you know she's going to show a. little. you know show a little cleavage at her. visitation i don't blame you.

you can do that you know if you still. got them exactly. if if you paid for them you know and. they're still sticking up and you want. to show it that's fine. but you know you've got so i normally go. down here to the femoral um. and i'll inject in the artery and drain. through the vein. so you'll do her in and out the same. area same locale yep. because it's because as you're injecting. it's going to go all the way through you. know through all the arteries and stuff. back to the heart and then come back out.

the. veins so and so you run in two and a. half gallons you said about. normally about two and a half gallons. for the average person. and you'll flush out how much same yeah. you'll flush out the same and that won't. be all blood. you know you get about you know probably. about 75 80 percent of all the blood out. you know some of the blood's still in. the body okay but [ __ ] but yeah you'll. get out that much. so wow damn boy you rocking right there. on the cusp.

that's wild you ever yeah you ever like. do you ever need a couple drinks to get. through it. no no i very i one thing about it i very. seldom drink. you know as far as you know drink. alcohol but yeah. but you know a lot of a lot of people in. the business do and it's just. all and it's all in your mindset you. know. this business isn't cut out for. everybody you know. because you think about it and. in the um one of the most popular.

scriptures. that's used in the funeral business or. in the funerals. is the 23rd psalm and it talks about. walking through the valley of the shadow. of death well the shadow of death is. where i live you know that's. that's basically where i live because. somebody's dying and i'm. that's where i'm pretty much staying you. know so oh you out there voldemort man. you milling around. that's right that's right i'm just. waiting on the next one. do you uh do you ever see people around. town and you're like i'll probably get a. call on this one in a week.

oh not not normally because you know. most of the time those people are in the. nursing homes but you never know. you ever want to pool with the people at. work no. no we don't as far as when somebody's. going to die no okay. that's just bad juju right there you. know then that might make you the next. person you never can tell yeah you're. right. i hate to interrupt this episode but you. know what i'm talking about right now. people struggling with nose pubes uh. people struggling with a stray hair. reaching out your nose trying to get.

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got a pint of that embalm there. and then you got this other uh little. holster here what is that. that's a cremation iron that's it's a. black onyx. cultured marble marble iron and that's. that is that a basic is that your basic. run of the mill. well that's what that's kind of a. standard you know. that some people use some people like. the marble because you can engrave on it. and it's pretty sturdy you know unless. you just throw it out the window you. know and then. but you know a lot of people use the. marble urns for cremation you know after.

they've had them cremated and you know. it looks nice you can either set it on. your mantel if you're going to keep it. or you can also bury it you know put it. in a column barrier wall. there's lots of things you can do with. cremains yeah somebody. you hell it looks like you'd almost look. for dang kleenex out of that one it's. almost perfect that size. exactly uh how much cremains do you get. total hmm let's see. i would say if you were it's gonna. probably well for one thing it's if the.

if the person has never had. a normal situation you're going to get. probably. somewhere around you know. 180 cubic centimeters or something like. that. so how many handfuls is that you think. oh it's several it's probably going to. be about that much. oh like 40 handfuls maybe yeah. yeah it's not going to fill this up but. it's going to come pretty close. okay and is it how fine is it are we.

talking. salt are we talking it's more like uh. dust sand that's down in destin are we. talking more like black beach kind of. sand you'd find out in san francisco. what kind of. it's a it's what's the vibe of that dust. that death dust. it's probably i guess a little bit. bigger than salt. okay and we is there any gristle in. there it's all the same. no sometimes there's you know you'll. catch a bigger chunk of bone that made. it through or something like that. and it's half a molar or a filling.

anything like that no no you won't ever. catch anything that big normally. and normally it's pretty gray you know. it's not do you feel bad. uh having done probably you know how. many m bombs have you done. oh let's see. probably throughout i've probably been. involved in. i don't know about 4 000 or something. damn bro you going to hell bruh.

you riding dark dog 4. 000. so cause i've been doing it over. half my life. dang bro does one come to mind that. there was just the toughest one for some. reason. something happened no. i mean i i don't know it seemed like one. was in your head there because. because you know i think you know i. think back in you know. one of the things that's so different is. a regular embalming. you know you're pretty good you know.

it's pretty much the same. you're gonna get by with a real small. incision you know something like that. and then you know that and then a little. puncture room. about the size of my pinky that's about. normal. whereas when you get somebody who's been. autopsied. you know that's when you see that big y. incision that you see on the tv. all the time and you have to you know. you have to treat. there's a lot more work to that because. you can't just. inject one site because they've already.

they've. removed they've removed all the viscera. so you'll put it in it'll. start to start flowing out so you have. to you have to inject down each leg. and the arms and you have to inject the. carotids up the head. and how do you how do you if you if. there's a leak what do you do put a chip. clip or something like what do you do. just. uh well well while if there's a leak. while you're. like in the in the vessels while you're. doing it you'll put a clip on it. okay but then what you do is you have to. take like for instance.

in an autopsy in a full autopsy they. remove your brain. who does the pathologist oh my god. and so when they do all that [ __ ]. when they remove your brain and all your. organs and everything else. they come back to to us and. they're in the cavity but they're in. just a biohazard bag. oh kind of like when you get that turkey. at the holidays huh yeah i kind of like. that what i'm saying is that sometimes.

they take all the stuff out and put it. back in a little sack. yeah i guess i guess you can relate it. to that. and so like we have to go back and we. have to make sure. that the head doesn't leak and that we. can and then we have to sew that back up. because they don't sew it back. up because you know they'll take and. they'll cut you from behind the ear to. behind the ear. and then it's like one of these deals. where you can flip. you can flip it forward to where the. hair your hair is actually on your nose. oh wow and so and then that's how we.

have to get back in there. to you know to make sure that all those. vessels. are going to be to where it doesn't leak. and it doesn't leak on the casket you. know while. we're having the visitation or the. funeral so you get the body. right and wait what is what happens to. the uh before i forget this. what about like a man's penis right do a. lot of people die holding their penis i. feel like. no you know what i'm talking about. though like i'll notice if i'm falling. asleep sometimes i wake up and i'm just.

holding my penis for no reason i think. it's just a. natural thing you know it's just this is. my penis and. i'm holding it you know kind of but. does when you find a lot of bodies are. they doing it holding a certain part of. their body or they just. do some people just like do like this. like they already they're ready to die. so they know they're dying. is there any type of thing you notice. like a jet like something like a piece. out is there anything people are doing. no normally they're just you know it's. just wherever their hands fall and you.

know. so a lot of times a lot of times it's. just you know if they're down beside. them. or if they're right there you know. somebody will die yeah sometimes they. you know they've got them like that. because they start to you know put them. in that. sometimes they start putting them in. that position you know but. at the nursing home or whatever do you. have you ever gone to a home. where uh they. adjusted the body after it died for some. reason like they didn't want it to be a. certain place.

so they didn't they just and you were. like you didn't really ask them. questions but you're like uh yeah i know. this guy wasn't just sitting out here in. this rocking chair. you know oh no because most of the time. the people you know aren't going to do a. whole lot to the body. really yeah why is that you think. because there's a lot. there's a lot about death that people. don't understand and there's a lot of. people. that are uncomfortable around it you. know and they're just un. uncomfortable with you know the whole. death and dying process because they.

aren't as. exposed to it as they used to be yeah. you know because. back in the old days where. the funeral director or the embalmer. would come to the house and he would. embalm the body at the house. no yes he had wow he had what was called. a cooling board because that was back. when they would have. like an embalmer and a funeral director. but he wouldn't that was back before. funeral homes so he didn't take them. back there you did everything at the. house or took the body to the church.

but most of the time they did host meets. or something they just board them. they did the embalming right there at. the house. and so for instance um i've got. um an old glass bottle. that was found somebody found it when. they were cleaning up around an. old house and what it is is it's an old. glass fluid bottle. and when they embalmed the body they. threw the. glass bottle out the out the door and it. you know got covered up and so when they.

were tearing down this house they found. it and somebody brought it to me. because you see they didn't bomb the. bodies at the house they'd come out. they'd bring what was called a cooling. board and they'd set that up and then. they'd put the body on the cooling board. and back then because they were doing it. that way. they'd they'd inject and drain right. here in the arm. so that way they could just hang the arm. off the side and then the blood would. just drip down. into into the into the ground into well.

most of the time. they were doing this like in your house. so it would drip down into whatever. bucket or whatever reservoir that they. had to catch it. and when was this up until do you know. that was back until. probably you know. let's say probably back in the 40s. the cooling board what was that is that. was it a. was it ice that had ice in it or how did. it no it was just what it was called. that's just what it was called it was. just like it was.

more rustic than a fold-out massage. table okay. you know that would be that would be. kind of what you'd think about it today. is. they would come up with that table and. they would. fold it out and put the body on it and. then they'd take that back with them. man when you go to pick up a body in the. middle of the night. do you knock or do you ring the bell or. people are usually standing outside. um sometimes i'll knock sometimes if i. can see them in there. i'll just walk right on in the house and.

you know because i'm in. kind of a small area and a lot of times. i'll know the family. or know some family member and so we'll. just i'll just walk or. sometimes i'll knock as i'm entering. because you know they're sitting there. waiting on you. oh so frank you get the body. right what happens when you get the body. after you do the fluiding. the fluids out you got the fluid and. what do y'all do with the blood that. comes out. you really want us to answer that. question yeah it goes right down the.

drain. no yes it goes right down the drain. and right into the system and you better. hope that. your water treatment guy is doing his. job because if not the. person down the river is getting it dang. so you could get that a positive hit. just on the damn. because now they treat the tap because. during this process we're always running. water. and they've done tests and they've said. that. with us running as much water as we do.

that it's no difference from if you were. to cut your finger. and stick your finger under the tap. water in your kitchen. it's no difference than that blood being. diluted then when we. embalm a body then y'all drop a couple. gallons with the amount of water. because because we're constantly running. water. when we're embalming just to get the. blood off the table. and get it on down the drain and then. we're also bathing the person. while we're doing the embalming because.

that massage you know when you. bathe them helps circulate the fluid now. you ever see any. you ever see you ever uh keep a little. bit of blood put it on the plants or. anything like that you ever know anybody. did anything like that. no why would you put blood on the plants. well whenever i used to live up in. uh in natchez they used to have a man. they said and he was a. um i guess he worked with blood or. something he was like a blood man. and they said he would take some of the. blood uh. and put it on his house plants at home. just to for the vitamins and minerals.

you know. no i've never i've never heard of that. that's a new one on me. have you ever caught anybody in your. industry doing something vile or caught. them you know somebody's. you know it's kind of skimming off the. bottom there you know stealing blood or. you know how you know copping femurs or. something out of deceased or anything. now there have been people in the. industry especially. mainly like hospital attendants or. something like that. who have you know gotten caught you know.

trying to. sell body parts or something like that. but no reputable. funeral person is trying to sell blood. or you know bones or anything that's you. know to. any black market people there's no side. hustle or anything no there's no side. hustle on that. all right there's for sure. now tell me about this so say you get. the body it's been embalmed. now what do you have to do to it okay. well the next process we would be.

waiting for. would be the process of dressing. cosmetize and casketing and getting the. body ready. okay for the visitation is that your. responsibility. yes okay or that's part of my. responsibilities. now who sells the casket to him i do. that as well no way. yeah i i'm one-stop shop. hey man you like to pop a lock of death. that's right that's right now is that a. little bit of a tough vibe because i.

mean you're. you know like you have to sell something. you have to then do a real business you. know. right and you're dealing with like a you. know a human life. exactly most states like for for. instance in kentucky. we have you can be either a licensed. funeral director a licensed embalmer or. you can be both. so for instance i'm dual licensed i have. both licenses okay so you got both of. them you're permitted to do it. that's right and you say you'll do it. all the time then it's natural right.

now what's that base of casket man that. basic death box what's that number one. deal. so now you're talking about i'm talking. basic dog like you barely want to go to. heaven. you know you barely want to go to heaven. yeah you know. yeah like showing up to heaven on the. greyhound you know what i'm talking. about. about just a seat it ain't even a whole. ride you know. you're gonna you're talking about a. price on that yeah you're gonna be. talking about. something like 9.95 you know. so for under a thousand you can get. boxed up no that's just for the box.

okay that's the box only that's not the. service right. because in 1985 the federal trade. commission came in. and they said you know you've got to. have a charge for everything that you do. so you know they said so there's no. freebies in the deaf community. right so they said you know because used. to. pre-1985 a lot of times you went into. the selection room. and that's where all the caskets are out. oh yeah and.

when you would go you'd look at you'd. look at this casket and have a price on. it. and it was everything included well then. they said well somebody might not want. everything in there. so you have to itemize all your charges. and then. you you go from there and so then they. pick out all the services that they want. then they have to add their casket to it. vault if they're using a vault. and then that's your funeral total and. that vault how is the vault really. necessary man or is it better to just.

get you know i want almost a gift. wrapping i want that low-key. you know well you know of some. cemeteries require. vaults okay some states require faults. it all depends. in kentucky a vault is the fault. requirement. is based on the cemetery okay but a. vault will do. two things it supports the weight of the. earth off the casket. and it also keeps water and other. elements and bugs and things from. getting to the casket. and how long does a casket last you well.

it depends upon the type of casket. for instance that 9.95 brother how long. is that going to get. me oh you know it depends if you know. vault or no vault if you're not getting. it in the vault it's not going to last. very long. in eight months or something oh it's. going to depend upon well. a lot of it depends upon ground. conditions because you think. that soil yeah because if you're in if. you're in a. real wet area it's that thing's going to. be sitting in water and you know water. is not good for metal or.

wood and everything else whereas it's. going to last longer if you're in a. drier area yeah. you know it's kind of like if you go. back to the ancient egyptians. some of those bodies that were just. buried in the desert where it was real. dry. they lasted almost as long as those that. were mummified. right whereas yeah you go to out you go. to like a swampy area in africa or you. go to louisiana man. that thing's just a little snack for the. for the swamp that's right. wow yeah let's hit a casket question.

here what do we have here. what up the uh what up nick this is. daniel from tucson. now i know lil boosie turned down the. idea of getting into the casket making. business. but i wanted to ask your mortician what. is. the most outlandish or extravagant. casket you've seen a customer walk out. of your store with. you know did that thing have some. spinners on it. you know was it a translucent water bed.

hitter. i'd like to hear about it anyways gang. gang dang bro what'd they put in there. with the most. extravagant casket you know what i'm. saying something with some cat toys. hanging from the ceiling or you got. you know you got something with a little. hot tub at one end of it what's the. wildest thing you put somebody in. well be honest well well most of the. time. the people that are buying your real. upscale. caskets are gonna buy either a bronze. casket. or a very fine hardwood such as.

you know a mahogany that might be you. know where that wood was imported from. africa. and then depending upon the finish work. that goes into it because you know. whether. you know it'd be flat top and you know. par the finished parkade and everything. else. that's that's a very expensive casket. and then also you know they've got some. that are. 48 ounce bronze you know and kind of. look like they've.

kind of they almost look gold almost you. know and you can see. like some of the celebrities have been. buried in you know some of those like. i'm thinking of michael jackson and you. know i think um let's say. whitney houston i think was in a um. was in like a millennium that that. batesville makes. and so you know they some places will. use that as a selling point. you know because the casket companies. used to furnish a list. basically every year every couple years.

of recent celebrities and what caskets. that they used. really and what happened to that list. you think. i think that you know as they've as. things have come. come on they've just quit publishing it. but you know for instance. they're used there's a company it's now. owned by batesville casket company but. it used to be called marcellus. casket company and they made the finest. hardwood caskets in the world. and oh yeah amen and so what they would.

do. is they would make they would make these. caskets and one of them was called the. president. and the other is called the president. carve top and the difference between. them is the one that's the carve top. it has a lot of carvings on it but you. know. jfk and you know a lot of those. presidents were buried in those two. different caskets and so it was called. the president carve top and the. president now when ronald reagan died.

he was put in a marcellus and it was. called the masterpiece. and the reason they called that the. masterpiece was. that because it had barbecue sauce in it. that casket was so big that it would not. fit in a standard burial vault. and so you know of course ronald reagan. was put in a. mausoleum that was designed to where it. would. accommodate that casket but you know.

that's. that's a little bit larger casket than. your standard casket. and so you know that's that's pro you. know you see that. you know we sell some mahogany caskets. some. if we've got somebody that's going to. spend a lot of money most of the time. they buy a mahogany casket. because the look of mahogany you know it. looks really good oh yeah. and you know that's what oh god that's. what they that's what they want they. like. that warmth and the beauty of the wood.

some people find metal whether it be any. type of metal to be more cold. rather than you know warm like woods. so and how pricey does that get what's. the priciest deal you guys have ever put. in the ground man. probably you know somewhere over 50. wow you know 50k huh man.

and do people on average spend more. money put burying men or bearing women. probably women because a lot of times. um you know the ma the men will care. less. but now because they will say. you know because if you think about it. most people are thinking. well you know of all the sacrifices mama. made and you know what mama did for you. and everything else and you know daddy. always said just put me in a. in a pine bat box or throw me in the.

ditch or whatever but. mama i mean this is mama mama took care. of you every need you know we got to do. a little bit better for mama. yeah mama love you we gotta do something. for mama mama and jesus always loved you. theo that's it. yeah amen man. so once you get the body you got it you. got it embalmed. what do you guys what other things you. have to do to the body to make it look. presentable if you're going uh. open casket well we do their cosmetics. and of course we'll dress them in the. clothes that the family brings.

and sometimes that's suit and tie and. sometimes that's. overalls and you know flannel shirt. whatever the family wants can you go. full naked or not can you go nude if you. want. uh that's probably that'd be frowned. upon you know because. you know that we wouldn't want to make. some people feel bad you know. if they weren't you know as well endowed. you know if you were full nude and you. know they'd be like. or might make them feel better about. themselves you know i just really don't. know. it'd be interesting to get a look at.

that body fully nude at the end i think. it almost. would make it a little bit more like. okay they're headed they're. part of life than they are like it's. trying to make them still. look alive but you know you think about. maybe maybe more people have seen you. fully nude and more. or would expect that but most of the. time you know they want that image. as close to how they can remember that. person so unless you know america's used. to seeing you fully nude. they probably would much rather see you. with clothes on yeah.

yeah that's true i think and especially. if i can eat after yeah. because you know a lot that's a big. thing is you know. the meal after the funeral because you. know a lot of times either. churches will host it or a family member. will host it at their house. and do you guys get invited to that or. no sometimes and a lot of times we get. invited. and if we're not really busy then we'll. go but you know sometimes you know right. after this funeral. we've got another one getting ready to. start so we don't have time to hit up. all those meals. and have you ever accidentally had the.

had the wrong body in a cat in a closed. casket. no no because we take we have lots of. procedures to make sure you know. that we don't do that okay and then. especially since. you know we're a smaller town you know a. lot of times we'll know the person. and so it'll be like oh and yeah that's. so-and-so you know. randy that's randy so he goes in this. casket that's the oh he goes in this. casket. wow so is there any. d do you oh no oh so don't forget about.

this what else do you have to do to the. body you put the cosmetics what about. like the orifices and stuff how do you. make sure that there's no leaking coming. out of the body or there's no. you know something's not going to come. out of someone's nose or eye. okay now that goes back to the embalming. process. because the majority of the time as part. of. the embalming process we do. a treatment of the organs and the. cavities. and that's where we use what's called a. trocar. okay and we use that to puncture.

and suck out all the contents of the. organs. oh wow yeah so so. you have to suck out whatever is in the. stomach and everything. right wow how does that go okay. so you've got a trokar trokar is. probably you know about that long. and what is it it's it's a. metal tube and it's you got a handle and. it's got. it's got a pointed end and the way that.

it works is there's slots and holes in. it. and it's hooked up to what's called a. hydro aspirator. so water's running through that creating. a suction. okay and so what you'll do is you'll. come. two inches above and to the right of the. navel. and you'll stick that in and you'll just. move it around and that's the stomach. you'll just move it around and you're. puncturing all the organs.

and sucking out their contents have you. ever seen like liposuction. on the discovery channel or whatever how. they're moving it around and everything. else. it's kind of like liposuction and can. you tell what. what are people eating the most usually. most of the time you can't. tell what you know what foods it is. because of the breakdown. but what you can tell is you can tell. like for instance. you know what organ you're hitting based. on you know what's. the color of the fluid that's coming out.

of it you ever been able to tell a food. no never not even like a lucky charms or. anything. not not that way now sometimes like if. we've had somebody who's. choked to death you know you've seen the. food you know still. you know when you've cleaned out their. mouth or whatever you've seen the food. still in there. you know and how far down if people. choke to death is the food pretty far. down or it's kind of close you think. well it just depends you know because a. lot of times it's. pretty well i would say it would be. pretty far down but then when they tried.

to save them. some of that gets brought back up closer. to the surface but you know. they were if they were unsuccessful and. i've now got them in my possession. then you know they were unsuccessful. right then. since you've seen so and now what about. what about the mouth and the eyes and. stuff like that do you have to do. anything to keep them from like just. swinging open or the ears well part of. the one of the first things that we do. in the embalming process. is we wire the mouth shut and so.

we take and we put we put what's called. a it's a needle injector or an injector. needle. and we put one up here. and one down here and then we wire their. mouth shut thank god. man and i need it a lot of these women. need it and i need it too. and then a lot of times to get that good. mouth closure or whatever you put a. little piece of cotton in there to. elevate you know like a lip or something. if it's drooping.

and everything else now your eyes we. have what's called eye caps. and those look like contacts with ridges. and then we'll put those you know under. your eyelid and. use that to help keep your eyes closed. oh so you'll go eyes closed has anybody. ever tried to open the person's eyes. when they're deceased. not to my knowledge of course a lot of. times they'll come back and put a. thin little bead of glue on there and. the lips so you know that. they're also glued you know that's an. extra layer of protection gang i respect. that yeah.

yeah actually you don't want somebody. you don't want somebody peeping you know. it's a funeral yeah you want somebody. looking out yeah now what he did. now what uh does anybody ever try to. come in and see somebody after they've. been dead for a little bit. after you know anybody come knocking on. the door you guys are already running. the hoses and everything and they got. somebody saying i want to see them one. more time. oh we you know sometimes like if you're. some sometimes i think what you're. talking about is like if somebody. shows up before you know.

we're done embalming and they want to. see them then. yeah that we don't we don't allow them. to come into the prep room to see them. they'll have to wait until the public. visitation or you know. well even if it's a buddy or something. yeah even if it's a buddy. wow you know when because we take that. very seriously you know the private the. family's privacy. so if they've like your form we have. public when we have private family. visitation oh yeah. it's private family visitation and you. know you don't get to see them. if you're just a buddy you don't get to.

see them till that public time. i don't care you know what you why you. need to see them earlier. if the family's not going to give you. permission you'll see them you know. during the public visitation. a friend of mine works in the death. trade and he's up in uh. oregon you know and he said probably. about well he worked in it about 20. years ago. he said somebody got died one time in. the town he was working in. and then while he was out at lunch they. came in and stabbed the guy a couple. more times just to make sure he was dead. goodness pretty wild huh yeah yeah he.

must have. not been well liked yeah he must have. not been in my life sounds like your. friend should have locked the door. yeah yeah i think he was kind of he was. smoking weed and stuff like that. um how do you guys keep jovial when. you're working around the dead like that. you know it's just it has to be it has. to be in you. because you have to be able to separate. the fact you know that you're doing. you're doing what you can for that. family because there's no greater honor.

for somebody to entrust their loved one. to you. you know because you think about you. know. this is their this is their prized. possession this is their mother their. spouse their. you know their child oh yeah and they've. entrusted that to you. there's no greater honor than that and. you do what you can. to you know treat them with integrity. you treat everybody. like it's you know your family member. and the way that you'd want to be. treated. and so you know we are very careful we.

make sure you know there's. we've got you know well for one thing. you're not going to get in our facility. unless. we open the door for you you know. because the facility's locked. you know and during public visitation. we've got a. greeter on all the doors and everything. else so we. we know who's coming in and out of the. building if it's somebody you know. before before the uh nobody's sneaking. back stage. yeah because the back areas are always.

locked and everything else. and so it's not easy to you know just. sneak in there and. do anything so do you feel like you. learn anything more about. life or or do you feel like. like have your thoughts and feelings. changed over the years. working in the death trade i think it's. you don't take it for granted. because you know that you can you can be. here today. and gone tomorrow you know i could get. killed in a car wreck going home. and you know am i happy have i had a.

good life yes i've had a good life. we'd do good numbers on the episode if. you did though too that's. that's right not to say that out loud. but that's right hey. hey if it can help you uh you know that. that'd be all right. that'd be all right you know i went out. helping somebody else. amen man we got a question right here. what do we have here sean. we've got a question from nick. hey guys what's up this is nick from. wisconsin um. got a heavy hitter for you so over the.

course of your career. how has your attitudes and emotions. towards death. changed and evolved anyways be good gang. gang. gang baby yeah how have you how if do. you find yourself getting more emotional. as you get older. with it is it hard because it just. becomes also work like. it's tough when things just become work. you know right right. you know it's the hardest part of our. job. is when we're dealing with children and.

because. you know it's unnatural that a parent. should have to bury a child. and you know it's hard on that parent. whether the parents 90 years old and. their child's like 60 and dies. it's hard it's even harder when. somebody's 20 years old. and you know their seven day baby dies. you know. all that's hard you know and you you. still grieve with them. but you know the thing is at this time. you know i have to be their rock i have.

to be the person. that you know you come to me i'm going. to handle it you know whatever you need. i want to handle it you put the weight. of the world on my shoulders. that's what i'm here for is there a. moment where have there been times where. you've just broken down it's just been. tough i mean there's got to be times. i mean there's times where it's been. tough you know and it's you know. and you know you'll just see it you know. and you just got to. you just got to keep on going what are. the toughest times though. you know i'll never forget um one time i.

had two. you know i had um i just. completed my my apprenticeship. and you know i was fresh out of school. and i had a. i had a friend from high school. who had taken his life and i remember i. got the call. and you know that was tough you know. because. my cousin had dated him and everything. else and that was hard.

then why'd he do it do you remember. no no then fast forward later. i have you know it's almost. exactly a year later another friend gets. killed in a head-on collision. and then another like. right after that another friend. dies with an enlarged heart that nobody. knew he had oh yeah.

and so so you can see that all those. things play and. play an influence on you and but you. know you just have to keep on for the. family. and you know you know i'll take my time. and i'll grieve. later but you know right now i have to. be strong for that family yeah. because that's what i'm you know that's. what i'm here for. has it adjusted your relationship with a. higher power with faith has that have. have things changed for you over the. time or. you know what was that journey been like.

in dealing with the uh. deceased you know i've i've always had a. strong faith. but you know when you look at the human. body. and you look at everything that goes. into it and how the. how every system of the body works and. everything else. you know that that was laid out you know. that that just. that that just didn't happen and the. fact that. you know we don't understand everything. but you know there's there's a god.

that's there that does and he knows and. we. you know there's times that we think. that we would have had a better way that. we would have had a better plan. that it wouldn't have been good for this. person to die but we don't know we've. just got to wait till we. get there and maybe we'll understand it. one day at a time or. you know at the end but you know you. just got to keep on going. you just got to you know have trust and. faith and. go on does it still feel like a. human you're working with does it feel.

like just a. carcass like what what is kind of that. feeling you know. because if i'm carrying a human body. that's alive you know it's a that's one. feeling but if i'm carrying just a. deceased human body i'm wondering if. that's a different feeling you know. i think that any time. that there is. a dis deceased versus a live person. there is that difference yes but the. same thing. at the same time you know.

the even though they're the deceased. is not there you know as far as what. made them there. like the spirit um that body still. deserves that respect because that was. the shell. that either held that body for one day. or 99 years or 100 years you know so. it's still. it's still all there you know and still. have you seen any uh. kind of going in a different direction. here but is there anything like with.

covet deaths have you seen more deaths. or anything like that. not really because you know. everything the same number of people are. basically still dying. it's just that you know if they've had. anything else but they've got coveted. right they're you know they're saying oh. it's a coven you know yeah the person. might have had covet. but they actually died from pneumonia. well instead of counting that death as. attributing it to pneumonia. they're going to say oh covet you know.

or they might have had they might have. actually died from cancer. but they also had coveted so coveted. yeah they caught yeah they covered them. up. yeah people get covered no matter. everybody like yeah it's like oh they. had this but they also had coconut you. know it's like can somebody die. can somebody still just die from natural. causes or does it all have to be coveted. right you know and there's a lot of. families right now. that are very upset about that and. they'll and sometimes. we'll go to a house or whatever and. they'll be like. he didn't die of covid she didn't have.

the cove and make sure that they don't. put covet on the death certificate. really and it's like well you know the. doctor the doctor's the one that fills. that portion of the death certificate. out. but we'll make sure to tell them that. they didn't have covet. because there's a lot of people who are. so. tired of hearing about it that they're. you know that they want to make sure. that their loved one isn't a statistic. for something that they don't. you know that they don't necessarily. it's not that they don't believe in it.

but they don't want them to just be a. covent statistic yeah you know a talking. point for somebody that they don't like. now what about this what's a wild thing. somebody wants to have in there when. they die somebody throw in a little can. of ruffles or somebody put a little. couple starbursts in there or something. okay you know it's it's not uncommon a. big thing a lot of people will take. cigarettes with them. you know because you take somebody who's. smoking a boy. you know they'll put those they'll put. that you know cigarettes in that shirt. pocket you're gonna want that smoke dude. if you did.

if i'm dead bro light me up a damn 100. baby you know what i'm saying i'm. burning a [ __ ] winston. if i'm dead man i ain't milling around. you know i've had you know you know a. lot of people put pictures of themselves. you know and what about a joint somebody. sneak a joint in there sometimes. um i'm not gonna say that that's never. happened because you know. when we're when we're standing back up. there and the family goes up for their. final viewing there's no telling. what they can stick in there you know. i've had i've had some very interesting.

stuff you know i had somebody. request to be buried with their shotgun. amen you know so they took their shotgun. with them. you know what about can they now if. somebody requested me bear with an eight. ball. you know and i'm not talking bowling i'm. talking about cocaine baby. can you make can you make do you have to. do that. well the thing about it is since that. would be an illegal drug. you know we wouldn't be required to do. that but you know if somebody. if somebody were to bring that in and. you know stick it up under the foot of.

the casket. you know i'm not i don't keep a drug. sniffing dog at the funeral home. so it might just go on through you know. they might just go with them that might. go with them yeah so. yeah that's one thing there's no tsa. when you're flying up to heaven. that's right that's right you're not. gonna be you're not gonna be searched. you know so now uh what's the wildest. thing somebody's put in there somebody. ever put something that's a little too. big in there. you know somebody tried to put a little. chainsaw or a leaf blower or something. if somebody died doing a uh. you know during a dangerous you know.

leaf blowing or something you know no i. don't think they've. had any power tools or anything like. that you know. sometimes you have like stuffed. animals or whatever you know even for. like an older person they'll bring like. stuff to animals they'll bring blankets. sometimes. and you know we've had um you know like. fishing rods you know stuff like that. that have gone with them but you know as. far as. you know i've never put i don't think. any power tools in there.

but i'd go with a damn sander or. something you know. so what are you going to use that sander. for who knows but. but i'll tell you this if you show up. and you the only dude with a sander. you're going to be. you're going to be steady working that's. right but we're not supposed to work in. the afterlife but i'm sure there's a. couple of opportunities to make a lot. you always. want to decide i want that side hustle. now do you take those items out or those. those items go on. the family gets it's the family's choice. if the family.

wants something in there for visitation. and then they want that back we'll take. it out but if they wanted to go with. them. it goes with them now you close the. casket during the. if it's an open casket you guys close it. during the procession. or funeral deal it depends on when the. family wants that closed. okay they want it closed at the. beginning of the service. some families like for everybody to file. by at the end. one final viewing and then after that. after the family goes up for their final. viewing. then we close the casket so a lot of. times that's up to the family.

and so um and now is it hard for you. personally do you have trouble is it. tough to meet women or something like. that if you working in the death trade. you know. i could imagine it might be a little bit. of a. or is it kind of a talking point you. know well you know it's one of those. things that. you know that they that they might be. interested in. they might have a few questions but you. know it's not. i would not say that it's a chick magnet. you know i you know that they're. flocking towards the undertaker because.

you know. the thing about it is. when that call comes in i'm going on. that call. so you know if i'm on call you know i'm. going to be leaving at the middle of the. night and everything else. and a lot of people you know they get. you know they don't like that. yeah they don't like that you that. you're going to be gone for that. they don't like that you've got to work. on the weekends. at night holidays that you miss. birthdays and everything else. you know because it's a big commitment.

you know when you're when you're working. in the death care business because it's. 24 7. i mean because there's i probably since. since i've been involved in the funeral. business i've probably spent as many few. holidays at the funeral home as i have. at my house. wow and so it's 50 50 split huh that's. right. you just don't ever know and you know. that's the last thing that you know. a girl wants to be on the way to a nice. dinner then oh i've got to go to the. funeral home.

and they ever bring a date over there. witching to say this. no no no because then. now keep i keep them keep pretty. separate yeah. is it tough dating in a small town is it. tough dating in a small town. you know it it depends especially. especially when you're in our business. because you get to know. the families oh yeah and you know. because you're spending three or four. days sometimes. with the family in the um in that and.

you really get to know them. and sometimes you become like family to. them. and sometimes you're like stay away from. them you know sometimes you learn a. little too much yeah. you learn a little too much and so that. that makes you want to shy away from you. know some of them anyway. so do families uh can somebody get. buried with their money if they want to. if they want to bring it in they can get. buried with it have you ever had. somebody that that was their request and. they put it in there. not all their money you know i've i've.

had people you know want to get married. you know. with you know granddaddy always wanted. him kept a. you know a two dollar bill or you know. he always had. change in his pockets you know didn't. want to go anywhere without a little. money. you know i've had that but i've never. had anybody say we're gonna put a. million dollars in this casket. yeah because you know then you. then you get to the age-old question. if you put a million dollars in there. let's say you put a million dollars in. there in cash.

and then if somebody would take the cash. and write you a check for it you've. still got a million dollars. so so nobody normally puts cash in there. they just maybe we'll put a check. yeah so i guess if you want to i guess. if you wanted to go with a million. dollars we could write you a check for a. million dollars because. you wouldn't be able to cash it yeah. yeah i'd rather send the check. yeah just in case later you decide dang. i wish i had that cash. yeah yeah yeah but nobody ever puts.

million dollars or anything in there. you know so um have you noticed over. time that people very. used to bury nice things with people and. now they just kind of bury whatever with. them. you think has it been any been able to. notice anything like that. you know most of the time people if it's. something of real value they keep it and. they pass it down in the family or. whatever. you know you especially jewelry and. stuff like that. and of course now with you know there's. so much stuff that. you know people are using like costume.

jewelry and stuff like that. that people are wearing rather than. buying you know. real expensive jewelry that they're. doing that they're doing that. and especially for um especially for. your older people. because as they as they get sometimes. dementia and stuff like that. the family's already taking their good. jewelry away from them. so they don't lose it because you know. they don't want them to keep the good. jewelry. in the nursing home or stuff like that.

and. you know because they'll you know. they'll lose it or somebody will steal. it or whatever. now i have had families bring in really. nice jewelry for the visitation in the. funeral. and then they want that back and so have. you ever stolen anything from anybody. no sir no sir that that'd be bad for. business. yeah it'd be bad for business man i. didn't think you had but i just had to. ask you. um we got any other questions that came. in that are unique yeah we uh ross has. another question about caskets i'm out.

here in new york just a quick question. for the mortician. open casket or closed casket me. personally that open casket. if it was me i'd feel a little. disrespected i'm not gonna lie you know. but now that's it gang dang bro. how you go man how do you suggest you. know you got the you know you've been. around the way you're really the wrecks. ryan of death right here so. what do you say it depends upon how they. look. i think that the family should have it.

should be able to have an open casket. if the person resembles himself but you. know if they've been in. very bad trauma if they've been you know. in a situation. where you know they've got a cliff fall. or something yeah. car wrecks you know something like that. but you know if they look like. themselves i think the. fire face fire yeah face fire you know. um bush hog you know oh yeah oh. i used to drive a bush hog man. accidentally killed a deer man that was.

just sleeping one time. yeah i felt horrible about that i still. feel bad about it but. uh so you're saying if they look decent. enough you'd go open casket. you gonna go oc you think i think so. dang. you heard it that's right that's that's. my plan i want everybody to see me one. more time. yeah now some people the it start their. faces get fat. i noticed that the last funeral i went. to people's face get. fat when they lay them down like that. well some of it could be.

that they that they swelled them during. the embalming process. or if they were in the hospital for a. for a long time that could be part of it. or sometimes if you've got somebody who. kind of has. jowls and you know well when they lay. back. those fall back and so it doesn't make. them look like themselves because that. should be. that should be up here whereas it's. laying back. how hard is that body when it's laying. in the casket is it pretty hard. it depends upon how.

how hard you set it up and what i mean. by that is. this embalming fluid the more you put in. the more it's going to harden somebody. up. so you can set them up like really. really hard. but the problem with that is it's going. to. dehydrate them a lot so basically you. can do that but they're going to turn. more to leather and they're not going to. feel like a human body. and they're going to dehydrate and so. it's going to require. a lot more cosmetics and stuff and make.

them look unnatural damn. is there any perfect way to do it man i. can't believe there's only embalming. and creaming or cremation. but i think i'd love to be damn wrapped. in bacon or something you know i'd love. to be this. you know i'd love to be uh what's the. one where they cut you open and put. cheese in you. you know um cordon bleu. or i'd go stuffed crust son stuff crust. would be great.

and so now they do have sometimes we do. what's. what's called like a green burial. and that's where somebody is still. buried but they're not embalmed. and so they don't want to be embalmed. and they just want to. be more natural and sometimes they'll be. you know just like in a. wood casket and buried in a cemetery. without a vault and everything else. because they want to go back to the. earth as quickly as possible and is that. growing in popularity.

in some areas it is but you know the. jews don't embalm. an orthodox jew does not embalm wow. that's one of the things you learn when. you're in mortuary school. is different religions and kind of how. their preference is. and i'm not for sure if you know this. but. i went to mortuary school here in. nashville. there's the mortuary college in. nashville it's called john a gupton. college. and it's over on church street and one.

of the things that they do. is your last semester of mortuary school. they assign you to work one day a week. at a funeral home. as part of your schooling so they've got. certain funeral homes that they'll. assign you at. and i worked at one here in nashville. and it was. and it was the jewish funeral home wow. and so. so there's no embalming there there's. not for the jews. and they're real they're real strict. about it. and so basically why it's just kind of.

in their doctrine. yes and they would have they have. the guild that comes and washes the body. and wraps the body and prepares the body. it's a sect from the church and then we. would put the. body in what's called an aaron and what. that is is that's a jewish casket. that's entirely made of wood wow and. then we would take it to the cemetery. and bury it how quickly pretty quick. pretty quick normally. normally if they died normally if they.

died. today it would be by sundown the next. day. how fast can you get me in the ground if. i die you guys do any like eight hour. packages or anything like that hey we. can get you in the ground pretty quick. depending upon the cemetery amen. so you know used to. and how deep can you get me can i go 12. feet or it's only six. no you can go you can go deeper because. cost more. now as long as the ground is good you. know because sometimes you. you've gotten cemeteries and you get.

down so far and it's solid rock. you know you hit that bedrock and. everything else but. like for instance there's cemeteries. such as. a lot of veteran cemeteries they do. what's called double depth. and so like if you've got a husband and. wife. they'll they'll put the first one that. dies they'll put them down. you know probably 10 to 12 feet and then. and then when the second one dies. they'll dig down. part of the way and then they'll put.

them there and so they're. they're double depth now different. states have different requirements. and most people you know have that. ingrained in their head. that oh i'm six feet deep well in the. state of kentucky. the law says that if you're if you're in. a burial vault. there only has to be 18 inches of dirt. on top of you. now most of the time there is more than. that but that's what the. but that's what that's the minimum legal. requirement so you could go shallow here.

over in kentucky you go 18 inches damn. anybody do it still sometimes. i mean most of the times not but but you. know. and what it is it's used to when when. graves were dug by hand they used to be. sometimes. more shallow than they are now when. they're dug by. by machine you know i tell you when i. was growing up they had a man in our. neighborhood who died. and uh and they buried him in the. backyard. they buried him in their backyard and. they invited me and this one kid over. there to the. to the service and we didn't know what a.

service was we never seen it or anything. you know. and they said you want to come to a. service and we thought maybe it was like. tennis or something you know. but um we got back there and next you. know we're all sitting in these folding. chairs and they're burying us. this dude this old dude mr polito and. they just put him in the ground man. and they said anybody want to say. anything and. my friend summer all due this young. fella he said grace like you would say. over dinner. you know he didn't know what to say you. know so his little wild ass said. uh god is great god is good god we thank.

you for this food i just remember. standing there. just being like what in the hell's going. on you know. um do some families still just bury. their own. um they're they have to be buried. you can't be just buried on your. property unless there's a cemetery there. now how do you get it legally. symmetrized um. well if it's just a family cemetery. it's the biggest difference is whether.

or not you're going to be re. selling plots if you sell plots to other. individuals. that's a whole lot more red tape than if. it's just going to be a family cemetery. but you have to have it you have to have. so much. area set aside for the cemetery it has. to be reflected in the deed. you have to have permanent egress to it. and so there's a little bit of work that. has to be done. and it has to be fenced and so there's. some stuff that has to be done legally. to make those requirements.

but if you meet those requirements. you're good and do you guys. do you get involved at all if it's a. family cemetery yes. we will still be you know doing the. embalming and take them out there. and make sure everything's done legally. so you can't just go straight from the. kitchen table somebody chokes to death. and just. hold them up in the backyard there's. nobody to do that route yeah you can't. do that. because there's got to be a couple steps. in between there. you guys ever run a coupon deal or. anything like in the summer or something. like that you know no. no we don't ever run that blue but light.

special or buy one get one free or. whatever. nothing like that no it would just taint. the industry huh. that's right i i. hate my phone bill i hate it it's. expensive. i have to give them money but i get to. keep using my phone. well now premium. wireless just got cheaper. with mint mobile they're introducing. their unlimited data plan for just.

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offer for this past weekend listeners. get 10 off your first. month at betterhelp.com. theo if you need help. look into it and now back to the episode. any more questions that came in brother. this is from. cole hey theo. um mortician. um just got back from a run got that. zen pack in up top okay um.

so mr or mrs mortician i was wondering. if you've ever uncovered anything. inside or like on someone's body. maybe that hadn't been picked up yet and. uh it's like something kind of like. silence of the lambs but. uh maybe not as morbid um i guess. um and how did you get into more. mortician ray. thank you i don't know what he means by.

that first part. have you ever uncovered something on. somebody yeah yeah you ever found yeah i. guess you ever gotten somebody back to. them to the. uh morgue is it called a morgue well. where we take away to be back to the. preparation room. okay you ever get somebody back there. and you find something in their pocket. you know you find a couple pills or you. find a little you know. something like that a snack a. butterscotch anything like that. yeah no i've never really take you know. get gotten anything. body back there and then just over it oh. well here's a handful of pills that was.

missed or you know something like that. and because normally normally they've. had. they the coroner's office or whoever has. checked the body has been pretty. thorough. to make sure that everything is you know. that they. kind of do an inventory and that. nothing's missed. okay because they you know they kind of. have to do those steps before they let. us. take responsibility for the body now. what what about with. is there one body type ethnicity that. keeps a little bit better than others.

um i would i wouldn't say so you know. they. you know it's all it's all the same as. far as. the body you know and everything else. now sometimes. um dehydration and stuff. if on a pale person when they start. dehydrating. and they start getting a little bit. darker it shows up. worse on a pale person yeah than it does. somebody who's. you know darker skinned and what's the. final lacquer you can put on somebody.

how much is it to get a dang just a nice. you know. i'm talking two coats of just a matte. finish you know something uh. you know not sherwin williams but. something nice you know duloth or. whatever it's called well you know we've. got different cosmetics and believe it. or. you know most of the time you can. you know you'll just put a light very. light coat but then we have. sometimes you have to mask somebody and. when i say mask somebody that's when. you're putting a lot of cosmetics on.

them. because something went wrong what do you. mean something went wrong like they felt. like they died by some ants or something. you know if they died and they you know. and they. for instance let's say somebody died and. they were face down and. nobody found them for a while but what. happens. is in the body the blood will. settle to the lowest point you know. the blood starts settling so if so if.

you're. if you die face first downhill then. then it's gonna then a lot of the blood. is gonna run to the face. well what happens as as that blood. runs to the face if it starts. in these capillaries on your face if. those start getting so much blood in. there. that they have that they can't handle. the pressure they'll pop. and once that happens that blood runs up. runs out into this tissue and that's.

that creates a condition that we call. postmortem stain. and if it's post-mortem stain you can't. really get that out. damn bro and all you can do is cover it. that postmortem stain baby i don't want. that. no so if i die what's the best way for. me to die then. um the best way for you to die would. probably be. in your sleep okay but with somebody. checking on you so they'll. be so that they don't let you just lay. there for hours after you die.

so after i'm dead what should someone. just roll me over like every 30 minutes. or something like what's the best way no. they should call me okay after you die. that's what you should do you call it. you call frank giles that's it you call. frank jobs. that's right that canary baby he'll get. over there and help you to. uh help you to the afterlife but what's. the best way for somebody to take care. of the body do they. should you rotate it every 30 minutes or. what should you do no just leave it. there you know. front down or back down oh back down you. know head. head slightly elevated okay and then so.

put a book under the head maybe or a. pillow. okay a pillow is always nice yeah. another. thing that i want to tell you about that. is um. are you familiar with jaundice oh yeah. my sister had john that's growing up. okay well jaundice. will react with formaldehyde so we've. got a spec. there's a special fluid that you use for. a jaundice body. and if if you don't.

use the correct fluid and you like if. if you had jaundice really bad and i. just poured this chromatek pink to you. well the formaldehyde in it will react. with the bilirubin in the jaundice. and it will cause the body. to turn green just smurf out almost like. shrek. you being shreked out like green and. have you ever has that ever accidentally. happened. well i've had it happen where.

where like somebody died in another. state and they sent them in to me. and i got this lady one time and by the. time she got to me she was green. and so then what we had to do was we had. to. all we could do is cosmetize over it oh. yeah because you can't go back in and. reverse that. and so so they might be green underneath. huh uh-huh. wow could i take a sip of that you think. it would would it hurt me.

oh yeah it hurt you yeah it's you know. they've got. they've got all kinds of warning labels. on there poison you know. do not drink and you know and it's also. a known carcinogen. so yeah so they you know they tell you. that you know. it's going to cause cancer if you get if. you're exposed to it too much and. i still work with it every day wow you. know that's the risk i take. yeah dang if you're helping people with. cancer you might get it. damn but you know that's that's why i do.

what i do you know. because i'm helping the family yeah now. can you eat near the bodies or not. it's frowned upon you know. people you know people don't you know. it's now you're you're. talking about when the preparation's. going on yeah that's frowned upon. now if you're saying if somebody's let's. say you're having visitation. and the widow's standing up there you. know in the receiving line and she's. eating a cracker. or a sandwich or whatever you know. that's her call yeah you know.

but what about you while you're fixing. the bodies up you know. and you guys are there finishing off a. reuben or something you ever had yeah no. that's frowned upon you know they. they oh she doesn't like for you to eat. or drink in the prep room. damn because sometimes i'd want to have. a beer or something by a body. you know so that's yeah that'd be. frowned upon have you uh had to bury any. of your own family. uh yes um when i was working there um.

one of my grandmothers died and so we we. handled that. i've had some great ants and stuff like. that that have gone through the funeral. home. since i've had it but both of my parents. are still living and all my other. grandparents were already dead before i. got into the funeral business. but i've had lots of cousins and people. that i've known who've come through the. funeral home. do people look at you weird because you. work in the death trade. uh most of them have gotten used to it. now when i was in high school. um the principal he and i got along.

pretty good. and he used to always pick on me about. it he'd be like. giles i don't know what you're doing or. sometimes he'd just look at me and be. like you're sick. you're sick and twisted yeah is he dead. or not no he's still living. he'll die he i saw him at the funeral. home. probably about a month ago he said well. i see you're still here. yeah got your name on the side say it'll. be you soon. um now what about our body like now what. about like our colon and feces and stuff. like that what happens to that part of.

us. that's that's one of the things that we. suck out with that trocar. okay you know we'll suck we'll suck that. crap out of you dang and how long does. it take. just depends kind of yeah it depends. upon you know what all is. in the body and everything else and you. know because some conditions. put more fluid on the body and. everything like if there's somebody. that's very edematous and they've got a. lot of. extra fluid we put extra fluids in them. to. kind of get that fluid out and to try to. draw that fluid off the body.

man and uh and so all that just goes. down the drain and then what do you put. in the colon what do y'all fill it up. with. we have a different chemical that is. very similar to this. it looks the same just different color. but it's designed to go back in there. and to treat those cavities. wow what color is it it is kind of a. greenish blue. okay and do you sew up the butt the. sphincter do y'all sew that closed no no. really yeah. y'all just leave it open well i mean.

normally it's. you leave it natural dang and that thing. stays natural. most of the time yes wow so now what if. it gets a little unnatural you got a. little clip or something a barrette or. something you put on there. uh it's um more of what would be. more like a plug a spackle or something. so. or you can always caulk it what do you. do be honest no it's. it's more like a cork more like a plug. wow. now of course if you go old school.

old school would be you would stuff it. full of cotton. because but cotton in somebody's booty. like a build-a-bear. yeah i guess if you want to call it that. but they're used to sometimes people. used to refer to. morticians as cotton stuffers because we. used a lot of cotton you know. to build up different things and you. know and so they used to have to put a. lot of cotton in there. especially when the fluids and the. procedures weren't you know. as great that they used to put cotton.

you know in. basically every orifice that you could. leak from they'd stuff it full of cotton. oh my thick ass i'd take up yeah i'd. take half a rabbit probably man. i'd need a decent amount uh any other. good questions we got here let's get to. one more and then we'll uh. we'll just thank you for for coming. right wow. what's up you death daddies got a. question out there first of all gang. gang baby i was wondering my granny she. used to uh she used to be beautician but.

she used to. you know night night time as that uh. mortician okay moonlighting with the. decision. she would go in there and uh she would. do the makeup for the deads. you know them deceased and i was just. wondering. because she had some wild stories have. you. working in there at night time by. yourself. deep in those depths of hell. have you ever experienced anything a. little nutty. a little odd you know.

anyway gang gang death death baby. death dog now yeah because a lot of. people probably see you as like a hell. boy almost in a way. and so have you ever seen like any ever. had any spiritual experiences when. you're in there like have you ever does. it get a little haunty i would imagine. it gets kind of haunty huh. no it you know it's one of those things. that. you know you're just there and it's not. necessarily. like i don't ever feel like you know um. there's ghosts or anything there you.

know. and i've never had any you know quite. crazy or wild experiences. with any of the bodies or anything like. that i've never. you know felt like there was somebody. else there or anything like that you. know some. sometimes people will ask me that. question similar to that but yeah. no i've never experienced anything like. he's talking about. wow so in the end. in the end of it all you're saying you. go open casket that's the way to go huh. that's the way that i want to go but you.

know that's my choice. and you know at the end it's. it's a personal choice and what's what's. right for me might not be right for you. you know you might want to be burned. that's fine. that's your that's your choice my choice. is i want to be opencast. because i want to have you know i want. to have one more one more good suit on. you know so. everybody can see it and everything else. yeah and so. but that's that's the way that i want to. go i want to be dan cremer laid i feel.

like or honey mustard i want something. i'm ready for that next level is there. something new. on the horizon of burial that's starting. to kind of peak its head about anything. you're hearing. well there in some states they have this. it's similar it's kind of like. what they call a flameless cremation. but it's very similar to the air dryer. kind of. no it's more like how you see those old. movies where the. mob would put you in a 55-gallon drum.

full of chemicals. and then you disintegrate it's more like. that but that's not. that's not recognized as in some states. that flameless cremation yeah it's not. recognized in kentucky yet okay but i. know a guy who's got that. business in missouri and he does it for. other funeral homes or whatever. because most of them haven't made that. investment because it hadn't caught on. yet. you know some people are thinking that. you know. freezing people is going to be the next.

thing right but you know you just. you just don't ever know until that next. thing gets here. how has the business been is it still a. good business to be in it's still a good. business to be in. now the business has changed a lot from. what it used to be. what most people don't realize is that. there's funeral homes that are what what. are considered to be locally owned and. operated. like i've got a business partner and he. and i own the funeral homes. where and then there's also corporate.

funeral homes. and those are funeral homes that are. owned by your major corporations. and i mean they're traded on nasdaq no. way i mean you know. the stock exchange yeah so you know. there's companies. that own funeral homes all across the. country and you know. they just buy and sell at funeral homes. and they. and that's what they do and is that a. little bit does that get a little less. personal care you feel like when you get. involved with those big dogs i feel like. some of those big. big ones there they're not necessarily. in it for the family they're in it for.

the money. and they're just trying to cut corners. so they can make more profit. you know i i've born and raised. where i work and i see those people. every day and i work with. those are my friends and i'm not going. to take advantage of them. and i'm going to treat them with that. most respect that they deserve. and i'm going to do everything i can to. make sure that they get a proper burial. or cremation if that's what they choose. and i want it to be the best that it can. for them. whereas you've got somebody who doesn't.

know these folks. taking care of them they might not try. as hard that's not as important to them. you know because the person that lives. down the road for me. all my life they're important to me. they're not important to whoever owns. you know some stockholder. in california or texas you know deaths. are us or some place. exactly exactly right and so. you know but that's that's the thing you. know you always know who you're dealing. business with. yeah and you know there is something.

nice about that known when you die who's. going to handle you. exactly because you you know you. sometimes i have families that. you know they'll call they'll call me on. the on my cell phone they won't even. call the funeral home number. they'll say you know mom died we need. you to come. and so here i come yeah it is something. nice about knowing the person that's. coming in. exactly somebody doesn't have to come in. with a name tag on or. you know uh you know they don't even. yeah somebody don't know you. right you know somebody that comes up to. the door i don't want somebody pulling.

up and honking. you know like it's a you know like i'ma. carry him out there. like the other day i went to went to a. you know a house and i did not know the. i did not know the deceased. but i was standing there talking to the. deceased wife and then. the sun came around the corner because. he'd been. back in one of the bedrooms getting. something for his mother and then he. came out of the. back bedroom and i knew him you know i. went to high school with him. so you know so that made her feel better.

knowing that oh he knows my son he for. sure gonna take. better care of my husband and everything. else wow and you know that's what we try. to do. and is there something killing people. that you've noticed more over time like. uh you know you always hear about drug. deaths and this and that are there. things that are growing that you're. noticing here at the. at the end of the line well you know it. wha. before you know before covet you know. they were talking about you know the. the drugs and the narcotics yeah.

oxycontin and all that kind of thing. are you noticing it we were not having. that big of an issue. there in hopkinsville where they were in. some of the other cities where. you know and i think it just you know. sometimes it takes a little bit longer. to work its way through and so drug. overdoses were. a big thing especially in some of the. bigger cities. it seems to have tapered off in the. moment. or you're just not hearing about it but.

you know that does happen. um and sometimes you know. if there's one drug overdose you're. going to get some more. you know especially if you're a batch if. that batch comes through yeah if a bad. batch comes through you know you can see. several oh yeah and you know and that's. just that's the thing about. drugs that people get so dependent upon. them that you know. you can have a bad batch come through. and lose. five or six people oh [ __ ] we had a some. lsd come through one time and.

people couldn't even tie their shoes for. a damn month you know yeah sometimes you. just don't know what these drugs are. gonna do to you. you don't and and some of these cancer. drugs and. these drugs that these people that. they're putting people on to. save you know to try to prolong their. life. are actually having reactions with like. the formaldehyde and stuff like that and. so. you know you're getting sometimes a. graying. a graying effect or you're getting.

different effects on the body based on. the chemicals that they're putting in. them. to try to save them and so you don't. know that until you really put it in huh. exactly yeah and so that's one of the. things. that you're trying to counteract as to. what you know what drugs that they've. been on and everything else. somebody comes out that damn turkish. gold tent or something that's why. you've got some of these accessory. chemicals that are supposed to help. balance out the ph. and everything else that's in these. fluids it's like treating the pool. almost huh. exactly exactly because you know part of.

that. part of that that goes in there is water. so you got to make sure that the water. is good and everything else. you ever feel somebody a little too much. you're like oh damn we put a little too. much in them. uh not so not really because it's. because as you're putting that in it's. still pushing it out so you know it's. you you're getting it right back out so. i see it once so once it stops coming. out that's when you know to stop filling. well no you you know by the what's. coming out. you know because you can tell when you. when you're draining.

the blood you know okay this is blood. now this is. right now i'm getting a lot of fluid. back and so you've. oh yeah okay you've run its course yeah. so you can kind of tell that. man i think that might be about. it sean you know anything else anything. we missed. literally huh who has the best funeral. music. is it really like that i would feel like. at black funerals you'd have better. music do you just have it. well it just appears i've been to black. churches growing up i go to black.

churches man. and dude you feel like you're sitting on. the lord's lap you know at a black. church. right right and you know that's one of. the things about it. is here in the south you know. just like church you know and this is. not this is not a racial thing. but just like how church is pretty well. segregated. here in the south so are funeral homes. most of the time. you know for instance um the cam the. city that i'm.

in we have um primarily white funeral. homes. and primarily black funeral homes that. doesn't mean that i won't bury a black. person. or they won't bury a white person but. people really stick to their uh. they'll stick to their culture their. culture their upbringing. and it's it's who they know right you. know they went they've known him all. their life and. you know they've the others have known. me all their life and it's just. you know just like how they choose to go. to church. you know the the church is product.

predominantly white or black. yeah you know that's kind of how they. stick to with the funerals because. that's. oh your funerals and your funerals and. your church services a lot of them go. hand in hand. they cross over you know one of the. things that people don't think about. with our job is all the coordination. that goes involved. that's involved you know throughout the. lines when somebody dies. or whatever one service that um. that i'll talk to you about for a minute.

um the gentleman. was kia and that's military terminology. for killed in action amen but. he was killed in action in world war. ii so he dies in world war. ii in the battle of bataa. he is buried over there. on the where in a cemetery that they.

basically buried all the troops that got. killed right there. he's buried there oh yeah but face style. they put a bunch of them in one spot. you know they would just dig graves they. and they had this protocol that they did. and they had government-issued raincoats. and they'd wrap the body up in the. raincoat and they'd bury it. and then they'd move on to their next. battle or whatever. well there's organizations out there. that are going through and trying to. find. all these soldiers and bring them back.

to their homes wow. so sure enough i get a call from a. family. and they have been in touch with one of. these organizations and they have found. the remains of a guy from our town. at that at bataa. so what they did was they disinterred. his body and flew it to hawaii. and in hawaii they matched the dna. for him to one of his nieces. they matched that dna to confirm that it.

was him. and then we started making the. arrangements. to get him back here so of course they. they booked the flight and they said. okay he's going to arrive. in nashville at such and such day and. such and such time. so you guys show up at the airport so we. show up at the airport with the family. and everything else. meet with the airport police at. nashville. and where do they come through baggage. come it's a large item like the golf bag.

well they they they travel underneath. they travel underneath on the plane. but um when i was dealing with the. airline. um the airlines like. now what's gonna happen is we're gonna. go out there. and we're gonna bring his body here and. you can you know the family can receive. the body at the tar. you know hear baggage claim or actually. it's. kind of like air cargo oh yeah and um. and then the head of the airport police.

he showed up and i and i started talking. to him. he said he said these are the cargo. people. he said i'm in charge he said you want. to go out to meet the plane. i said yeah i want to go out to meet the. plane he said well put everybody in your. vehicles and we'll go out and meet the. plane. and so they brought airport vans and. everything else and we went. we drove the hearst and everything out. to the tarmac. wow they brought they brought the you.

know. because we had we had this was. pre-coveted so we had a full. detail of our of you know of army men. there. and they received the casket you know. right off the plane. carried him to the hearse and it was you. know it was a big deal you know. real emotional they had everybody in the. um. in the area like in the terminal come to. the glass. windows and they all watched it and they. were all holding flags and everything. else. as they took as they brought the body to.

the hearse. and then after that then we brought him. all the way back. from out of the tarmac back to. hopkinsville and how big was he. well they had him in a full-sized casket. oh damn because. what they did was they crossed some. large they chronicled. everything that they had and you believe. it was really him or not i do. they had they had it down to they had. every one of its bones except for one. they had it all laid out they had all. the dna. they had everything about him they had.

in this book that they gave to the. families and everything else. we um so we're coming back you know. we've got police escorts all the way. from nashville. all the way you know to to to the. kentucky state line. and that's when the tennessee people. broke off and then when we got to. christian county. um the sheriff's department was there. waiting on us. and i bet you they had about eight units. there and then when we got to the city. of hopkinsville. the city was there and the community.

came out big for it. and the fire truck you know they took. the back big boom ladder and everything. else. and they had a huge american flag draped. that we drove under and everything else. and we took him out to uh [ __ ] we took. him out to the local. cemetery that um his. that his parents were buried at all his. brothers were buried there. and we buried him there i mean we even. had the pgr there.

and um you know the pgr is another group. that we work with occasionally. and what they are is they're called. they're the patriot guard riders. and they're motorcycle guys and most of. them are veterans and everything else. but they really got a lot of notoriety. back when there was that group. from kansas that was going around. protesting military funerals. you could call the pgr and they'd show. up and they would show up. and so what they would do is they would. ride their motorcycles. you know with the funeral and when like.

if you were coming up. to the cemetery or whatever and there. was the. protesters they'd stopped right there. and the protesters. in front of the protesters and rev those. motorcycles up you drive right on by and. you never could he'll. hear the protesters wow and so. that's really magical people come out to. support veterans you know yeah it means. a lot to people uh. especially to those families especially. getting to be back with your family i. think have you. you know just have your rest in place. back with their family there's something.

beautiful about that. how uh if you're cleaning out somebody's. colon how. what if you don't get everything is. there a time lady you're like oh i gotta. run this. thing back again um sometimes you know. if you were. not to get everything you know you would. see some distending. distinction in the abdomen yeah and then. you would go back and you would do it. and you know you can watch it twice yeah. sam. now now what most people wash me twice. put a damn piece of spearmint in my ass.

man you know i'm one. i just want to be fresh when i'm laying. there what some people don't think about. is once like when somebody drowns. they sink to the bottom but. as they start to decompose and those. gases. break up in that cavity that's what. causes them to float. and so sometimes especially. back home around the lake you know what.

will happen. is somebody will drown and. you know so they're they don't might not. find them for a day or two. and then you know whenever. they start floating up you don't ever. know what time that's going to be. and sometimes what will happen is. they'll float up. and they'll get caught up in a barge. and that's either going either up river. or down river. wet hitchhiking and they won't notice it.

until. daybreak and then they'll have to stop. the barge and then they've got a. lot of red tape and everything else and. you know they find this. person who's from kentucky up in. illinois. state lines yeah [ __ ] hitchhiking. exactly. now what about this you got that last. gas in you your body builds one. that last gas you have to let that out. normally. normally you can because when we use. that trocar.

and you ever get that hit of gas you. ever get that gas. you can hit a gas pocket and it will you. know shrink up or whatever. but sometimes after you've used that. trocar. and you've there's a button that we use. that's kind of like a. screw in button that we put on the. person and. if they get distinction sometimes you. can just take that button. off and it'll release that pressure and. release that gas. and that's like a last part almost a. tinum i i guess you could call it that.

and is it smell pretty bad a lot of. times it would yes. wow i want that. definitely i'm doing one you got to go. out with a with a you know. a last blast i think man. i can't tell if i'm more excited about. dying or not after talking to you. honestly frank. well you know as long as you've had a. good run on earth you know.

there's time there's always a time to. check out don't get in a hurry. you only pass this way once that's it. huh that's right. do you feel like people will talk to you. about death a lot oh yeah. i always got questions do you uh. feel like um do you ever have somebody. wants to get dressed up in something. real wild like a nightgown or somebody. wants to be you know. dress their little cousin up like. superman or something well. you know therefore it kind of goes in. phases. like you'll have phases where you know.

people will want to be buried in like. pajamas and stuff like that. and then sometimes you know you'll have. we have. in kentucky we have a lot of people that. like to be buried. in you know like uk jers. not necessarily jerseys but it might be. a uk fleece or. polo okay so state sports yeah right yes. rocking sports pride all the way to the. grave damn. yeah wow man what will you wear you.

think. i'll definitely wear a suit probably a. blue one. you know probably blue looks good i like. blue suits it'll probably either be a. blue. or black you know pro but it won't be. plain it'll have. it'll have some type of stripe or weave. in it you know. okay bright tie you know probably you. know. maybe a red or you know a yellow. something like that something kind of. flashy you know it's always a tie. so go flash is kind of the way to go you. think a little bit so you know i. i when i dress i will dress a little.

less conservative than some funeral. professionals but you know. because it's you know i'm in a suit. every day of my life you know just about. every day i wake up and i put a suit on. and so and so you know i like to. i don't like to just stick with you know. a solid brown a solid blue a solid black. and a solid gray. you know i've got on a gray pin stripe. today with the you know a bright pink.

tie. you know and everything else in your. damn arms right now you look like i'm. right you know you're ready to help. somebody thank you. but you know that's you know that's me. you know. i've got a couple of suits that are that. some people say are a little bright. but you know that's that's my. personality i like to be. you know i'm here when you need me and. i'm here for the seriousness of it. but you know at the same time you know. it doesn't have to be all drab. have you ever had somebody die they want.

to be dressed up like superman or. somebody dressed up like a damn you know. like a. wear like a you know uh dressed up like. he-man or. you know a miss butterworth or anything. like that somebody wants a particular. type of costume. um not so much as a costume like we've. had people who have worn like. a superman shirt or you know something. like that. and um but you know not a not a real. costume leo leotards and all that. no capes you know yeah what what will my.

penis and stuff look like when i die. does it look the same or does it start. to look a little different. no it'll look pretty much the same nice. um and what about like um what happens. to fake breasts do y'all puncture them. and suck them out or leave now. you leave them oh they paid good money. for those hell yeah. boy you know what i'm saying. call me up i'll come over there and i'll. freaking put some makeup on those.

on those mounds baby wow and do you have. to color the nipples at all with like a. powder or a dust. no because normally those are covered up. and what about the balls you have to. suck the stuff out of those. no wow. interesting man well man i think i'm. just dang. i guess i just know everything i know. now. do your eyes stay the same color they.

were yes. that's cool. but of course they're closed so nobody. really sees them yeah. what bone was that guy missing the guy. that came back from. i'm not for sure i don't remember now. but they had. they had it they had a picture in the. book that they gave all the family. members. that had the entire skeleton laid out. wow and so. what if uh if somebody lost their legs.

do you bury them in that full-size. casket or will you go a little shorter. on that. from that casket you'll go you'll still. use that full size. because it's like everything else if you. try to go. smaller you're going to be they don't. really make. smaller caskets on normal so it's going. to cost more. right whereas you know like if somebody. is really big. they have to get a bigger casket and. there's a company out there. or used to be a company out there called. goliath casting company wow.

and their that was their niche market. was they made oversized caskets. and their two most popular models were. 48 inches wide and 60 inches wide. so that's four and five feet wide on the. interior that's a damn queen bed. i mean it was they were big caskets but. when you needed them. you needed them can two people legally. be buried in one casket. technically i guess you could depending.

on. most states but you know if but. most of the time most of the time they. don't go together. have you ever buried two and one i have. never buried two people in the same. casket. well let me rephrase that i have never. buried two full bodies in the same. casket. i have buried people like sometimes. one of them wants to be cremated and the. other one wants to be buried. and if the one that's cremated dies. first i have put their cremains in the. casket. with the other one when the other one.

dies i've done that but i've not put. two two full bodies in the same casket. could you handle it can i handle it. as far as you'd have to have a wider. casket. but but i mean i guess i could do it if. i had to. hell yeah but you know we've had um i've. had double funerals but they've all been. in separate caskets. you know and is it cheaper to go two in. one casket.

um no because i'll cut corners man. you know because because what happens is. it becomes more expensive because of. because when you're getting into that. bigger size. because a bigger size casket is. more expensive you know when you're. getting wider. and then also they're not they're not. as many out there as there are standard. size caskets and you can't just lay. somebody right on top of somebody else. that'd be tacky.

yeah that'd be tacky what about um. um what's the smallest casket you've. ever done. uh it would be like an 18 inch. damn yeah like a damn baby snicker. almost. for like a stillborn baby oh. that's heartbreaking man. oh life is wild huh yeah one time we had. this situation. where um the um.

a lady had had a baby who had died. and um she had. the baby had already been dead for 24. hours and was just sitting there. with the with the mother in the hospital. room because the mother was still in the. hospital. and i remember. i met with the baby's daddy about the. funeral arrangements. before they even release the body.

because. the mother wasn't letting the baby go. wow. and so um so i told the. baby's daddy i said i said you just go. back to the hospital. and you tell him i'll be there at six. o'clock tonight. to pick up the body and when i get there. she'll need to give me the baby. and i told i got to the hospital signed. all the paperwork and everything else. and i told the nurses on the maternity. ward i said.

i said i said i'm going to go in there. and i'm going to speak to the family. and then i'm going to take the baby on. back to the funeral home to go ahead and. work on preparing it for the funeral and. the the nurse laughed she said. she said i want you to know she said. she's had that baby. for over 24 hours she said and nobody's. taking it away from her. she said so um good luck with it good. luck with that but. you'll be here all night wow so you went. in there. so i went into the to the room there and.

i spoke to all the family that was there. and she gave me the. she gave me the baby and when i walked. out of the room with the baby. she started screaming and you know. because she was so overwhelmed with. grief. and i could still hear her screaming. when i got on the elevator. oh and because it's so it's so hard to. lose. you know to lose a child it's so. unnatural that you don't know how you. would react.

nobody knows how they're going to react. until they're in that situation. you know it's easy to look look. look at it and say oh i would never. react that way. but you don't know how you're going to. react oh yeah i mean. i mean that's that's somebody's child or. that's somebody's spouse. and you know when they get overcome with. grief. you just got to be there for them and. you know if they need to. if they need to cry and scream you just. got to kind of help them cry and scream.

but if you know whatever they need to be. you know. it's you've just got to be there for. them you know death brings out the worst. in people but it also brings out the. best in people. so you never know you never know how. somebody's going to react. you just got to be there for them and. what do you carry a baby like that in. that that's that that's that size man. that's just that's heartbreaking. um we wrap them in a baby blanket. and we and we carry them just like they. were if that. you would if they were a live child and.

do you sit them up in the front seat or. do you put them in the back or what do. you do. um most of the time what we would do. is we would in a situation like that. we would have we would take. a car and two people and so one person. would hold the baby in the car. and the other one would drive wow. you know they make they make what is. called.

it's it's like a box that you could put. the baby in. for um you know to transport it but. i'm not putting a baby in a black box. that looks like a tackle box to you know. or something like that i don't. i don't think that's fitting and. appropriate so we don't use those type. of things. wow we just use the baby blanket because. babies should be in a baby blanket. whether they're alive or dead and they. shouldn't be. you know they shouldn't be thrown in a. box you wouldn't carry a. you wouldn't carry you know a live one.

like that i'm not gonna carry a dead one. like that. amen oh. working at the finish line man you're. working at the finish line. that's right sometimes that finish. line's. real short to the starting line and. sometimes it's real far away. but you know you got to be there for all. of it. wow. yeah it's fascinating man uh i don't i. think i i don't know if there's anything.

else that i can. take out of you today man except just to. say thank you very much and. and what's the name yells outfit over. there it's hugger beard and giles. funeral home in hopkinsville kentucky. wow well thank you so much man for. coming in and just filling us in on. everything that's in that world you know. frank giles thank you so much today man. oh last question when the undertaker. remember the wrestler when he really. popped off remember yep did that put a. lot of pressure on you guys as uh. as undertakers and stuff like that to.

really take it to another level. no but you know a lot of times when when. he was really big in wrestling. you know it would be you know i would. get a lot of comments you know if they'd. be like. hey undertaker let me be your manager. let me be your manager you know. let me be your pallbearer you know yeah. and so. but yeah those were some those are some. interesting times. but did it put pressure on you to like. you know did it make you feel like oh i. got to. you know be more athletic or i got to. show up and yell or you know like. anything that really.

did it make it did it put any pressure. on the industry no no we weren't out. there practicing the tombstone power. drive or anything like that you know. but uh i did it didn't make me go hit. the gym or anything like that. yeah yeah i just always wondered that. man. frank giles thank you so much for being. here today man really really appreciate. it and thanks for just kind of welcoming. us into your world. and what it's like it seems like uh. you're just kind of walking along a.

really unique part of of. existence you know you're just kind of. you're kind of you're not really guiding. people but you are kind of you're just. right there with them. that's right you know and the thing. about it. is is it's kind of like if you fall in a. hole. and your neighbor jumps in that hole. with you and you'd say. well why did you jump in the hole with. me and you know it's well i've been here. before and i've gotten.

i've gotten out and so i'm i'm here you. know i've been. i've been through it with before i'll. guide you right all through. yeah amen man well thanks for guiding us. through this chat today frank giles we. appreciate it. you're quite welcome honored to be here. now i'm just floating on the breeze and. i feel. i'm falling like these leaves i must be. cornerstone. but when i reach that ground i'll share.

this piece of mind i found i can. feel it in my bones. but it's gonna take a little time. for me to set that parking brake and let. myself. on my heart shine that light on. me. [Music].

[Music]. [Music]. and now i've been moving way too fast on. the runaway train with a heavy load of. my. hands. [Music].

[Music]. built.