A Mall Cop | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #518

I got a few tour dates to tell you about. Wallingford Connecticut Portland Maine. Banger Maine monton. Canada Las Vegas Nevada will be back for. the USC LSU football weekend Oklahoma. City Northern Little Rock Springfield. Missouri Kansas City Missouri sou Fall. South Dakota Lacrosse Wisconsin Green. Bay Wisconsin Molen Illinois you can get. tickets for those.

at. theo. thank you so much for your support. today's guest served 10 years as a mall. cop you know who I'm talking about that. fella that's just looking all beast mode. outside of the Cinnabon baby you know. what I'm talking about that Build-A-Bear. badass baby Mall cooping we get into it. all the stories the stealing the sex hey. grateful for his time today's guest is.

MoP Gus. [Music]. Parsons on. [Music]. me I'll sit and tell you my. stories. shine on. me and I will find a song been sing. [Applause].

Gus Parson thanks for coming in man hey. I'm [ __ ] I'm glad to be here bro you've. worked in security for 20 years right. Mall Cop Mall Cop for 10 years 10 years. wow did my tour did you yeah it was. great and what um how do you get into. Mall cooping um basically uh zero. education um no goals in life really no. it's um you know it's just one of those. things that kind of just happens you.

know like I I started off doing other. security and then it just turns into. like hey I need a job you know and a. fulltime job at that and and Mall. security is usually one of those ones. like hey man uh can you breathe I'm like. yes fully functional and they're like. you're hired you know so that's how I. got into it and then was your was your. father in Mall coping or was it um is it. a f it's not a no no okay my dad was. actually a bus driver oh he was yeah. that's cool man I've ridden on buses and. I li I like it I mean the uniform the.

the the fact of us wearing uniforms in. the family that's a thing oh it is yeah. it's not military you know bus drivers. security guards so you get a job at the. mall right so where where where's the. first Mall you clock in at uh the first. one I ever did yeah it was called Horton. Plaza it was downtown San Diego no. longer there rest in peace um but it was. a three-story mall had the theater down. there had all the kids hung out there at. the time cuz the buses went and. connected all through there who told you. to get a job as mop did you just myself.

honestly yeah I wasn't into the whole. labor thing you know I did the little. side jobs building swimming pools um. just being out in the sun stuff I didn't. what do you mean being out in the sun. like what hitchhiking or whatever yeah. you know it was a hard job no you know. just like labor you know like hard labor. you know digging and trenches and like I. said digging swimming pools and stuff it. just I'm I'm too fat for stuff like that. so when I got into like the mall cop. thing it was kind of supposed to be a. lazy job for me and it definitely wasn't. a lazy job for me cuz I still come from. the of chasing people down you know and.

that used to be fun what as a mop you. mean yeah yeah well first what what is. the training like oh sh um here's your. here's the mall here's the clock in uh. like I said you can still breathe right. I'm like yeah okay well you're fully. functional you know um training with. that is just more like but there's no. like uh you don't have to have a 40 time. you don't have to have like a um there's. not like. a physical requirements to be a all h no.

uh they actually will give you a segue. if you can't meet the physical. requirements yeah like oh you you can't. walk that fast well here's here's some. mobile Wheels you know like here you go. that Paul Blart shit's real it's very. much real like a lot of people make fun. of it and stuff I'm like actually those. are for the mall cops who can't get. physical wow and that's embarrassing I. I've gotten on those things and actually. chase people as a joke M like oh they're. stealing like oh watch this you know. it's embarrassing for them they're. running through the mall and you're just. like Co.

yeah exactly that look right there well. Segways are so ridiculous cuz the whole. every time you're talking to AA segue. he's like all right man I'll see you. guys. later and then he just takes he's just. like [ __ ] or you get those real. professional ones and do the full spin. on you and they're just like yeah all. that like uh but the training wise man. it's it's not much so there's no. training so there's no like but there's. not a there's not like where there's. Boot Camp or anything like that oh not. no more no I think that was the 70s. security guards I used to learn from. those guys did you oh yeah punch him in.

the face I'm like we can do that like. we're not cops I'm like when you find. out as a security guard that you're not. a cop and things change you're like oh I. can do some [ __ ] now but that was back. in the day now you just have to kind of. watch them steal and run off out the. mall and you're like hey but what do you. mean when you watch them when you see. them like like okay so as of like the. past 10 years now you know everyone's. got cell phones and a stick up their ass. so it's like hey I'm trying to steal. from your store don't touch me so now.

some guy won a case I don't know however. many years ago now it's like you can't. chase them you can't touch them you just. have to kind of monitor their stealing. like hey man put that Gucci belt in that. pocket it's showing you know like you. got to kind of escort them out the mall. so what you but you can't can you even. what so what's your would you just be. like stop [ __ ] can you even do that no. you can't even say that you can say. [ __ ] you just say [ __ ] [ __ ] you know. like you say stop they're like hey you. can't tell me what to do I identify as G. you know oh [ __ ] you know so there's no.

training no okay okay so there's no. training do you Shadow anybody when you. first start like you yeah you'll go in. you'll Shadow a couple of the the guys. that been there a while they'll show you. what stores to stay away from what. stores are cool um more or less just. doing the whole rounds uh a lot of time. you would have um some malls would make. you like scan in every 10 minutes. through the place but then we just kind. of figured out if you just took a. picture and then went to the copy place. and made a copies of those and had a. sheet you can just sit in the office and.

scan those things if nobody's watching. so soon as your Shadow leaves that was. pretty much it oh so you're saying like. a QR code yeah like at each place you'd. have to scan as you're yeah moving. around the mall yeah so every day you'd. have to go and check in like oh I'm at. the Baby Gap you know here and then and. you just have to keep checking in as you. go through the mall to make sure that. you've secured the whole place stuff. like that like I'm at Baby Gap I'm at. Bed Bath and Beyond I'm at um rockos. tacos or whatever and just around the. bin yeah so we just take a picture of. the barcode.

send it to our email put all the. barcodes on a sheet printed it and then. we had it in the office so you could. just sit there and just scan them every. few minutes yeah we had put like timers. on our cell phones and stuff like hey. how long do you think it would take us. to get from here to here one guy was an. idiot he would scan them all in a row. and one of time our supervisor came in. he's like hey. Speedy you like how are you doing this. and he's like and we got caught a little. bit but yeah wow that's a good hack bro. yeah we had a lot of hacks at the mo. hell yeah when you pull up so when you.

start when you first start there um what. are were there like old heads working. there like what are the different types. of M cops oh man okay so you got your. you got your pant booters we call them. pant booters those are the security. guards who did not make it as a cop. their uncle or their step uncle was a. cop so they wanted to be a cop so they. come in they got the whole vest on. everything's tucked in nice they got. their pants tucked into their boots you. know they're ready for combat it's like. bro it's it's a mall job you know so you.

got that guy and and I I will tell. everyone that you know that guy we all. work with that guy yeah um then. sometimes you get the little Thug dudes. that are just like hanging around just. because they need a job and that's not. you know I'm not being discriminative. but that's it's very true we get a lot. of little Thug guys that do security. it's great because they're the ones. usually bring the weed for us you know. so it's always like [ __ ] yeah love you. guys um so those guys are usually ones. like you know and that's not a race. that's just the little ghetto guys that. always come they don't do their job.

shirts untucked they're like eh we just. do the bare minimum you if there's. someone stealing let us know uh yeah. those guys always look like they are. going to get some some girl pregnant M. or they already have from the girl from. Cinnabon is usually pregnant is she hell. yeah oh yeah it's in the oven baby hell. yeah both the bun and that two buns. going at once drizzle it y um okay so. and so those are the main two types of. cops you feel like the mall cops and and. then there's just just the the average.

Joe like I I I would have put myself in. the average Joe category like you know. just the dad who just needs a job but. there's that guy you know there's the. real Paul BL kind of type you know like. no girlfriend no wife you know lives at. home with Mom can't wait to go play. video games type guy you know like. almost like the guy that never left the. mall in a way ex he grew up in the mall. and was like I'm going to get a job here. you know like never stay here yeah malls. are awesome yeah I'm getting that 10%. discount balls are awesome dude I.

remember in our uh we used to go to. Slidel Louisiana they had a mall there. bring it up see if it's there just see. some images of it and they um so this is. a Northshore Square Mall yeah those are. the doors we go in dude and we camp they. let you camp right outside by the. parking lot like in the medians so uh we. get dropped over over there on Saturday. we'd hang out at the mall and then we'd. sleep in our tents and then Sunday we'd. go back into the mall dude and they had. a church service in there too and we. could just go do it all right there get.

you um yeah some lunch get you on some. of those little Shaker chairs that you. know I loveed when those first came out. I was there for that like I was there. for that evolution of the mall chair. were you yeah they just popped up one. day we're like What in the lazy as this. you know like it was great you know so. all of us would be on our break just. [ __ ] vibrating now like you can't do. that I'm like [ __ ] if I can't it only. cost a dollar you know hey whisper. something nasty to me you know.

segue like oh yeah what was the uniform. like that you guys had uh it was it's. just a basic cop knockoff um I refused. to wear the mount me hats cuz what is it. the mounty hats oh mounty hats yeah we. call them Mount me hats you know from oh. yeah but no some malls will literally. make you wear a mounty hat and it's like. why we're like we're in the [ __ ] mall. we're not like who are y'all yeah like I. don't know if you could yeah see like. that liter that's literally how a lot of. Mall Cops will yeah why do they make. y'all look like that I have no idea.

that's one of the most ridiculous things. whoever did that you really hate all of. us yeah whoever like because there's an. Ultimate Mall Cop Out There who's just. like I'm going to make this the worst. uniform ever and it's funny because you. get those little ghetto dudes are like. they come in like [ __ ] yeah I'm here at. work and like okay we'll put on your. little mounty hat and you're like a [ __ ]. you know why is the Hat uh is you think. it's just so people know immediately who. is there to help them if they need it I. suppose but it's just more of like a. Target oh yeah you know it's like at the.

we're already getting called Ren aops. and everything else in the book whatever. yeah you know it's like sorry I'm [ __ ] I. don't give a [ __ ] that yeah I don't care. me neither but I I've been called FS all. the like oh yeah but now they're like oh. look at this in that hat yeah it's like. you're like [ __ ] man I could have just. like you got me there yeah you're like. we were good now the Hat [ __ ] me and. it's like you can't even deny that you. could you could argue back with like oh. you're well look at your shoes and then. all she has to do is go you have a mount. me hat on yeah you're Canadian yeah and.

and then on top of it here's the worst. part some malls will do the stripes and. like I've been here for two years I got. a stripe you know I got me a little. Lieutenant stripe it's like Lieutenant. of what the [ __ ] food court you know. like who cares but that those are some. of the mall I I've dealt with a few. malls and that one of the malls I had to. deal with the mount me hats and the. stripes and they give you stripes for. how many years you've been there mhm wow. yeah one guy had like six I was like you. need a [ __ ] life. like all decorated look like a general.

and [ __ ] serious huh and then he was the. one on the mounty had who had like if. you look at them they have like these. little like um ropes or something that's. on I don't know what they're actually. called his was gold out of every like. everyone had black ones they were gray. hats with black he had to have a gold. rope cuz he was the leader or something. he was just there he was even the. supervisor he was just there the longest. yeah it's like okay. like you know 10 four yeah and and what.

kind of do what kind of tactical gear do. you guys have um it depends on the mall. it depends on how they want you dressed. um I've had to do the whole get up to. where I like I've been an armed security. guard so I've had to wear guns and stuff. and the holsters and bulletproof vest. and all that just because of what was. going on in the situation and that those. are fun it's fun to dress up like gi. Joe CU you know I'm 45 so it's like I. get to play out little kid fantasy some. I'm like man I I kind of wanted to do. this when I was a kid and I'm just like. yeah [ __ ] yeah you know all teched up um.

work when I work dispensaries I used to. work a lot of dispensaries uh this past. 10 years too we would all teched up and. tacked out and looking like SWAT and. [ __ ] until the real cops came and. they're like what are you doing playing. dress up you know selling are wait are. mops allowed to carry. weapons um at one point we were and then. one point we were not um we were allowed. to carry batons and uh and what. pre-rolls or whatever yeah basically.

it's like it's either I'm going to beat. you or here smoke this you know [ __ ] but. wait you guys had a baton M like I like. my my arrow was like the last Arrow of. being able to carry baton and what's. funny in. California like say you [ __ ] come. running out and I have a gun and a baton. M if I shoot you in the leg I'm good if. I hit you with that. baton LA riots all over it does there. see wow the Baton was it heavy oh yeah. it's about it's about an 8 lb stick of.

just and they um they there was some. guys that actually teach you how to use. the Baton and stuff and it's like they. get you on this wrist thing and bend you. all up and you're like oh [ __ ] can I. just hit him with it you know like like. n you have to use it tactically that's. what they said did you ever get to hit. somebody with it I threw one at somebody. one time yeah yeah it was like right out. of the [ __ ] movies too you hit him in. the legs and he tripped and he fell and. we beat the [ __ ] out of him it's okay it. was man it was a long time how long ago. was it oh [ __ ] J no uh [ __ ] early 20s so.

like 2020 or 2003 maybe something like. that what's the what's the statue of. limitations on that do you. think Ma abuse or. whatever. nonsexual those are the best though 10. years you're good yeah you're good dude. all right so I threw this baton at this. guy right now he was running out the. store somebody's like hey you know thief. and I was like and I swear to you I. don't know what movie clicked in my head. I was like grab your Paton throw it I.

just threw it and I said and it made the. little noise and everything clipped them. in the leg he tripped and I was like. like in my in my soul I was like I. [ __ ] did it and by the time I like. realized that my guys are already on I'm. like yeah that was awesome but yeah you. do that now you're going like as a. security guard you might go to jail yeah. that sucks well now it's so crazy. literally a thief can be like watch this. [ __ ] security guard try to um stop me. from getting what I need and you're like.

you just totally rephrase stealing right. okay and why are you [ __ ] filming. this like yes things have definitely. gotten really ridiculous out there. that's for sure man um so outside of the. Baton did you guys was there taser ever. was there uh any smoke screens or smoke. um bombs or flares or baby flares or. anything like that not smoke bombs we. used fart bombs really yeah we uh the. little like uh fart ones if if the the. crowd was like too much we like it.

wasn't a legal tactical move old school. move but instead of like you know like. hey everyone clear out we wouldn't say. [ __ ] just throw one of those fart things. on the ground or something oh the stink. bombs they were called stink bomb we. throw a stink bomb on the ground cleared. not a word not a [ __ ] word out of our. mouth and were those government issued. or whatever no those were out of the ice. cream uh truck on the way to work oh. they sold them there oh yeah the ice. cream oh yeah you're like let me get a. bubblegum ice cream and some stink B. those are the good ice cream trucks when.

they had the cap gun still you know gang. yeah I didn't know they had all of that. yeah we just got the sweets or whatever. I don't think ours had um kind of a um. you know Violence Section or whatever. semi violence um this security guard. filmed all his farts for six months you. ever meet him no but damn where's he at. that's a [ __ ] that's a goal I'm GNA. go seven he got fired for it Paul flart. he called himself why would he get fired. I don't it's this a you can't fart.

anymore you kidding do anything. man um he really. did oh. yeah by the way this is that Dad I'm. talking about that works I love this. dude and he. just his hair his hair and his mustache. [Music].

one cool thing about a ball is though. honestly it's got the perfect Acoustics. it really does for to for a fart to just. rock the freaking kasba in there. especially if you have like that back uh. alley of like behind the stores where. you do all the deliveries you can get. some good echoes in there oh yeah it's a. real fter Paradise back in there um so. take me on a typical Mall shift man you. get there you get there clock in um. clock in usually take a [ __ ] or go smoke.

cuz we don't do that for free you have. to do that on the clock you got to get. paid um did you have a strategy meeting. or anything like that yeah we a little. pow out all right guys you know um we're. GNA have a good day today get out there. and do your job our power for Mall. security wasn't that much you know. really is there ever any intel that. comes in that's like hey we got this to. worry about or there's like a drug group. passing through anything that yeah uh. sometimes we would get like a stack of. papers on our thing and there would be. like pictures of like some random Asian. dude stealing like cologne or some [ __ ].

and you're like watch out for you know. him and they're like okay and you know. you never see him ever because he. already done stole so uh there are those. moments though where you get like a. paper and you're like hey uh Maul's Most. Wanted or something and he walks by you. and you're just like [ __ ] yeah you know. this is my moment right here really yeah. and then like take me on one of those. kind of so you like okay so sometimes. they'll make a big deal out of it like. hey there's a small guy he's going. around he's stealing a bunch of [ __ ]. here's pictures of him okay um like the. wet Bandits or whatever hell yeah.

[ __ ] shot out wet Bandits um but. something like that you know what I'm. saying like a guy that's made a name for. himself um props stealing from malls. yeah we had one guy who was I bring up. the colog thing cuz he was actually a. cologne Thief uh he would steal all the. samples without the lids and [ __ ] so he. would get all these samples and just run. off but sample baby huh he was Asian. yeah oh God he was yeah I actually. bought some from him after the fact see. them on the some stolen ones from him. yeah. and they're only 15 bucks I seen them on.

the trolley I was like hey dude were you. the one stealing cologne he's like yeah. which one do you want I was like [ __ ]. man let me get that ck1 oh ck1 wasn't. too bad huh no it wasn't not at all God. they had some good cologn back then I. remember um they had. Aqua Aqua Aqua de dude I'm actually. wearing the black Aqua deio right now. really yes sir they came out with black. yeah it was darker little bottle or. something wow yeah dud yes sir that one. right there that fourth one right there.

I felt I just was always so ashamed of. myself as a child I never felt like I. deserve to smell good no you even work. cool water no cool water was for. brothers or kids that were [ __ ] you. know I wasn't wearing that what would I. wear I would sometimes get some Old. Spice from my dad and then I would also. put like. um what would I do I would rub like. uh what was it that had kind of oh. deodorant I would just put deodorant on. the outside of my arms or like right. here or whatever cuz my mom taught us.

you know we watched my mom do perfumes. or whatever. um okay so you're at work you guys have. had a strategy meeting right we got the. paper we see uh we'll just use we'll say. Bobby Lee stole some uh [ __ ] cologne. so we're like all right cool Bobby Lee. he's the [ __ ] guy and herps what. youall call is there a term y'all use um. this [ __ ] guy yeah that's fair this. [ __ ] guy man we're going to get him. um no we didn't like a lot of us didn't. try to use the whole cop term and stuff. like that cuz then you kind of look like.

the douchebag you know so we just leave. it to the guy who tucks his pants in his. boots like the purpose here it's like. Bobby Le is here and that's all it is. you know yeah so literally the one day. that um the perp walked by I kind of was. like holy [ __ ] this this is him you know. him so I radioed it in you know did my. whole gust to the headquarters and. they're like what's up I'm like yo Bobby. Lee's here and they're like no [ __ ] I'm. like yeah watch come here so they start. watching him on the camera we started. following him and they're like just let. him steal first and this this was back. in the day of like we can touch you grab.

you throw you you know yeah so we. followed him into like I think it was. Macy's and uh he walked right in the. Macy's and he had no hesitation he. started grabbing clone and start putting. it in his belt you're watching him yeah. from how far away like where are you. guys strategically located somewhere um. I actually took my shirt off cuz I just. wore Dickies so I don't know if you guys. know what Dickies are there's black. pants totally dude so I just wore. Dickies I freaking wedding wear [ __ ]. yeah so as soon as I took that off just. White shirt and Dickies looked like I. was from San Diego you know so I was.

walking by and he's doing his thing man. like so you were undercover pretty much. yeah did a lot of undercover work at the. mall take your [ __ ] off you just look. like a essay from Ms and he was like. good to go and so I see him he's he's. stealing the [ __ ] and I call back and I. said what are we doing he goes grab him. [ __ ] just grab him we grab him we who. grabs him you grab no I grab okay well. take me and you're making the move on. him does he see you coming doeses he. coming from the back he actually walked. by he kind of gave me a nod and I was.

like cuz I I gave him the look like yeah. man steal that [ __ ] Bro right on you. know like keep going I never was like I. would never give myself away so I walked. around and as soon as they said grab him. I literally just walked up grabbed him. by the shoulder and said hey man you're. coming with me uh you know I gave him. the whole like you're coming with me cuz. it was my first time actually just like. apprehending somebody in the act and how. long have you been a mop at that point. till you got to apprehend this guy. probably about 3 years and wow so I was. just waiting it was my moment waiting to. grab this [ __ ] guy snatched him up. hey man you're coming with me that's. what you said I was like hey man yeah I.

was like hey man you're coming with me. the whole like the whole just nine you. know I like you're coming with me lifted. up his sh I like what do you think. you're doing and he's like he just. looked up goes I'm sorry but you put him. on the ground yeah I tripped him on his. leg like cuz we were backing up and he. trying to lead forward and any type of. movement you do away from me you're. resisting yeah we're [ __ ] going down. so as soon as I pulled him back and he. went a little forward I just snatched. his leg we went down I think one of the. bottles broke cuz it just started. smelling like [ __ ] cologne badly.

guilty yeah it literally I was oh [ __ ]. cuz when we were in the office writing. them up and the cops were coming he just. smelled like whatever cologne broke on. him everybody in there smelled yeah yeah. but like after shave or whatever but it. was literally one of my best moments as. a mall cop just because I was like I got. him I saw the like I saw the picture and. within an hour there he was and I was. like my [ __ ] Golden Goose you're mine. you know what I mean so it was good I. loved it did you now do you then have to.

go prosecute um you have to do a. citizen's arrest you do a citizen's. arrest um you do all that and so you. guys take him where so you guys take him. into the into a back room do you have. him wrapped up or tied up no we just uh. uh put a zip tie on his hand I had these. big ass industrial zip ties we usually. used to leave them on this hook we never. used them um we only used them if we. brought somebody into the office that. needed one so I was like hey man stick. your hands out and he's like he looked. at me he's like oh [ __ ] I'm like yeah. and I was like are they too tight and he.

goes no I'm like and I zipped him a. little bit more cuz I didn't want him. you know I was like [ __ ] him you know oh. that's crazy when you're asking if. they're too tight it's obvious that yeah. like this is but he you know he a little. tighter why don't you you know uh you. know he felt some shame that day and I. was just like I bet the Clone Bandit was. mine we never saw him again you know um. and do you then turn him over to the. police what's that like that's that's. the lame part you got to call them and. it's like they're not rushing to come. handle this you know so nine times out. of 10 you're sitting there with Bobby.

just shooting the [ __ ] for like two. hours you know like so man why do you. steal and then by the time you've. already like counseled him you want to. let him go I actually wanted to let him. go but it was already in like we're. already in motion when I was like bro. you're [ __ ] up you know like I already. had to [ __ ] you up and now the cops are. coming the first 10 minutes it was like. they're coming to get you man you're so. [ __ ] you know 20 minutes and he's like. are you thirsty man like you know so. about literally cops took about 2 hours.

to get there and by the time they got. there they're like all right so what's. going on it's like oh this guy was. stealing blah blah blah he's here's the. Clone band it you know we got he's like. okay so come with us and then that was. it it was like there was no fireworks at. the end of this show you know it was it. was pretty that's why I said it's pretty. lame when you call them to come take. them away because it's like you want. them to drag him out and beat the [ __ ]. out of them too you know just give him a. little extra [ __ ] him you know fck [ __ ]. him [ __ ] yeah dude you got to somebody. has to get beaten mhm um there's.

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toprated doctor today that's. zocdoc.com. tho zocdoc.com. Theo and then what about like we what is. yall's relationship with the cops like. you know they didn't like us too much. just because we were a waste of their. time you know calling them for stupid. [ __ ] stealing and all that because if. you catch somebody at like back then if. you caught somebody you had to hold them. you know it's different now you don't.

even call the cops nowadays I don't even. know what the [ __ ] they're doing now but. they had that entitlement because we are. cops oh they show up like you're big. dogs oh yeah do they look at you yeah. what's you guys's relationship like is. it it was sympatico or no no not it was. just like those movies what sympatico. mean do you know no actually I don't. yeah look it up real quick do you mind. kind of threw me off on that one sorry. no you're good uh I thought it was. Spanish likable and easy to get along. with okay. no we didn't definitely get along it was.

like out of those movies you know when. like the detectives are all sitting like. so like the the regular cops are there. so say we're the regular cops where we. got it going on it's our area and then. the FBI walks in they're like all right. guys we're taking over go handle the. perimeter type [ __ ] and that was our. relationship with them there was always. like it wasn't too much like oh man. thanks a lot guys for doing your job and. you know defending our country at the. mall and [ __ ] it was just more like [ __ ]. [ __ ] what man like I was not doing. anything now I'm doing something at the.

mall yeah you know it's like and I. actually had a cop tell me one time this. [ __ ] I forget his name um I had. to give him a whole description of what. was going on and the problem was is we. didn't even have the guy we had to just. give a description of the guy who stole. and the things he did to the car cuz he. poured like some uh bleach on a car some. some dumb [ __ ] so we're giving him all. this description and he literally turns. at me goes yeah if I wanted to be a mall. cop I would have been a Mall Cop and. walked away I was like [ __ ] man like.

what and what was he having issues you. guys were having issues with. communication no he just it the list of. [ __ ] that I was giving him and just got. too long for him he was like okay so. yeah I get it I get it so what was he. wearing you know and I was like I told. you that in the beginning you know I was. like you could have cut that. conversation off when you found out he. was 5'2 you know it's like but I but. some of it has got to be crazy like you. got you you know you have a Chinese guy. or whatever pinned up against the wall. for like you know getting a pair loafers. or whatever and then the cop has to he's.

like what the [ __ ] are we doing down. here yeah trust me we we were not on. their radar of crime you know I I feel. so they wouldn't keep they wouldn't clue. you guys in like what was going on in. the community and stuff no there we. didn't get enough no updates or nothing. like that like what no they were like. there's like we wouldn't know if there. was a rapist in the area or anything or. anything like that would no [ __ ] they. didn't care about us you know and you. would think they would tell you if there. was a rapist somewhere because I mean. first first of all one of the few places. that everybody kind of goes sometimes is.

the mall right pretty much if you're a. racist you still go to the mall you have. to you have to buy clothes right well. you got I you just everybody goes you. know so it's like that's the kind of. [ __ ] to me it's like you think you give. those guys at least just information cuz. they're just standing around all day a. lot of cops will use our parking lots. for the hangout you ever seen where like. two cop cars like face each other yeah. that was our like and you can't go near. them you can't go hey Jim what's going. on like [ __ ] away from us really really. yeah it it it was weird like they had.

this like whole bubble around them cuz. they would always Park in our parking. lots yeah every Mall I've ever worked at. there's always a pair of cops that will. do the whole face in each other like you. know [ __ ] yeah two cops touching fronts. or whatever tip I love it you know he. just [ __ ] yeah guys you know but they. didn't want us coming near them we're. never allowed to talk to them or. anything so we would just let them be in. their little bubble um what type of. overall crime goes down at the mall like. what type of crime are we talking. about um a lot of stealing really lot of.

a lot of stealing of course and do you. see people steal sometimes like you'll. see them can you tell after a while. anybody could be a. thief anybody can be a thief anybody man. I've I I've seen I've seen moms you know. stick [ __ ] in like kids backpacks you. know on camera I'm like what the [ __ ] is. going on here you know um anybody can be. a thief uh I I've seen a group of sweet. old Mexican ladies you know like oh. they're and they're like they're.

inviting you over for dinner and [ __ ]. and this and that and the other and you. turn around they're stealing the [ __ ]. car you're like whoa you know like like. anybody can steal from the mall um. damn uh like. vandalism uh that's not that's not. really like a everyday crime it's more. of a crime when someone like gets thrown. out of a store and you want to like. break their door kick their windows in. and [ __ ] thinking you did something to a. corporate company who's got got millions. of dollars like I broke your $100 window.

it's like all right cool we're just. going to replace that you know those are. the crimes that we get at uh at the mall. sometimes uh fights oh fights are good. really yeah mall fights are good do. people go to the mall to fight you mean. meeting at the mall to fight or you're. saying just things happen at the mall. and a fight happen like gang versus gang. you know two oh yeah where at where was. this at down in San Diego a lot in San. Diego yeah yeah uh back in the day like. malls were always like. where everyone just conjured up you know.

all the gangs all the crews everyone. like after school or the ditch parties. would go there and some groups just. didn't get along you know and next you. know you got this big fun Riot brawl in. the middle and back then you were. allowed to get in it and fight with them. and throw them down and stuff and those. were fun really yeah yeah here's a mall. these are kids um I don't yeah there's a. lot of kids off of school um. these kids nowadays man they're ruthless. I had a they're sick I was working a a.

high-end department store and uh this. kid literally walked right up to me he. goes do you work for the store or the. mall and I was like why and I could. already tell he's about to steal all. these Gucci belts I'm like why he goes. cuz if you work for the store you can't. touch me and if you work for the mall. you can't chase me and I was like [ __ ]. bro like it's all you then you know. [ __ ] stole belts right in front of me. I was like get out of here man like cuz.

you can't do anything does piss you off. uh little bit just it feels. disrespectful yeah like right in your. face and you're like that's trash it's. like [ __ ] you little [ __ ] you know. that's trash just cuz just cuz you can't. afford the belt you know you don't come. here and steal it just kind of and also. then if you're stealing something that's. just a good and it's not like an it's. it's a want right it's not a need or. something or a snack or something like. that milk bread or something oysters. like that then you're not do you're it's.

your own choice at that point you know. it's not you like needing to survive you. know it's just you don't need a Gucci. belt to [ __ ] pay you know like yeah. you can't eat a Gucci belt man um who's. at the mall anymore and how has that. changed over time oh man uh so from the. early 2000s till now it's definitely a. huge. change everyone back then went to the. mall no matter what oh yeah I mean you. had the grandma like in the morning in. the in the beginning in the morning if.

you find the right mall like I worked at. a mall in Minnesota and that mall had. like little mile markers through it and. you get the whole old person group. coming out and do their power walking. and [ __ ] oh yeah I love that and so. those are the days where you would see. that transition about 910 a.m. where all. the old people leave and then you get. the adults coming in you know like get. the sales and [ __ ] and then once noon. hit if it's a weekend then the kids. start piling in it's [ __ ] you know. the mall was functional back then it was. like people watching was fun [ __ ].

back then you know like it was fun to. watch now I feel like nobody cool goes. to the mall if like and it's not like. I'm not saying it like that it's just. like yeah you go to the mall now for. like direct service you're like all. right I'm going to here to get this and. I'm leaving a lot of people don't hang. out at the mall no more it's not like. let's go to [ __ ] Cinnabon and grab us. some uh wetel pretzels you know shout. out to wetel pretzels by the way by the. way if you notice wetel pretzels you can. only find in a mall I swear really yeah. think about.

it yeah yeah that's cool wow Mall food. yeah Mall food is definitely something. yeah dude the mall was such a place I. mean we would sleep overnight outside of. there um hell yeah we would um yeah your. friends you'd go uh I remember during. summer camp one of our field trips would. be to the mall we'd all go to the mall. uh people would wish in the fountains. that were at the mall you know um they'd. have um um yeah what else would we do. there yeah just going to see the.

different stores walking down the mall. you stop at that candy store that had. all the different candies you go in the. Bed Bath and Beyond or the candle store. and do that the Disney Store the Disney. Disney Store dog [ __ ] Disney Store. that [ __ ] was [ __ ] clutch Mexicans. love that store too e [ __ ] yeah why. bro why though really I liked it bro. it's not racist if it's true and I stick. by this if you can't afford to go to. Disneyland then the Disney Store was the. next best thing they had little [ __ ]. things I I love the I love the Disney.

Store man Disney Store was so good bro. The Good the the original Disney Stores. they they still have them but the OG. Disney Stores when they were like hi. welcome in and Tinker Bell would come. flying by and you're like [ __ ] it I'm. here dude it was that you're right bro. there was nothing like that Disney Store. we used to get um they used to have like. the shirts with the characters coming. out of the pocket kind of little bit. Goofy with hang off yeah yeah yeah that. was a big thing man I remember I get my. uh siblings Christmas gifts and stuff.

from there A lot of times night gowns or. something you could get your sister like. something she wanted you know oh oh dude. yeah yeah hey one time hey no [ __ ]. one time me and my friend uh young Dave. shout out young Dave love you ykd young. king Dave not that guy that died from. smoking weed huh no no no you know what. I'm talking about yeah I heard about. that young king Dave bring him up pull. up young king Dave bro rip dude smoking. big dinks he died from smoking weed huh. yeah yeah he was like smoking one he. smoked a joint backwards or something. and he had ASB or whatever and it killed.

him what Dave James Young King Dave. Nixon passed away at. 19 uh where did he where was he always. smoking. out this is years ago uh his manager. Chris clemenza I used to message with. him for a while bro I was a big fan of. him oh wow smoking big dinks out in. where did he say play the. audio out here in Amish smoke smoking. big dos and. Amish [ __ ].

yeah big old dos he'd be smoking big. dinks out there in Amish dude and he get. um and he died damn he had a he smoked. he just smoked all the time I think and. I want to say he died I want to get this. right what did he die of do you know. play that one more play one more where. we smoking a uh joint weaf guys like. that work security with us really oh. yeah were the best they always bring the.

weed it's [ __ ] nice out who's trying. to chill smoke some loud feel me [ __ ]. yeah I got. loud hit my. line either DM me or hit my line bro I. got loud I'm trying to. smoke just smoke it then you know but. yeah that was a beautiful time with oh a. collapse lung is what got him God. Jesus complications from a collapsed. lung he did have loud dude he blew his. [ __ ] yeah but that also comes from.

all those Vapes that kids smoke nowadays. like and adults smoke them too like me. and other people but uh let's don't say. that but yeah I do um I've been on and. off it you know you try your best but. yeah shout out ykd bro I just yeah he. was like one of the first dudes to kind. of go viral and he was always smoking. big dinks out there and uh and that's. what killed him he would literally drive. all over just meeting people to smoke. weed and [ __ ] and what a great guy he. got too big to get in his car or.

whatever he was always eating there he. is at a. mall hell yeah what he sayy JG where the. [ __ ] is at. bro oh he almost died right there they. got Nathan's in a mall that's a great. [ __ ] mall um so yeah just seeing. something like that is great man um but. go back to the Disney story let's go. back oh dude yeah start from the. beginning of that man oh dude when you. walked in yes and it had that smell it.

had that good Disney. smell well it was very organized things. were kind of pricey in there a little. bit so it had like some esteem you could. get something small like a keychain but. you could get something like ice skates. or something you know if oh yeah a. princess dressed the whole night all. that [ __ ] if you had a child or a little. daughter or somebody you could take them. in there um that was a pretty high-end. store I felt like for the Mall as far as. uh children's uh feranelia Hey that I'll.

never forget that bundle of plush there. was always like a big area of like all. the stuffed animals and [ __ ] oh man I. used to just kind of give it a hug you. know they had that nice stuffed now. Disney showed up with a quality stuffed. animal I think applause was the company. that made a lot of their stuff um the. parent company or whatever that made. this stuffed animals um but yeah dude. when the Disney Store came we got me and. my friend got kicked out of a Disney. Store inside I don't know you remember.

the Little Theater that was inside for. kids to kind of like crawl in and there. was like they would show old Disney. movies inside there yeah oh it's for. children I didn't go in there yeah well. I slid in there one time to roll a blunt. real quick and hurried up got that done. but then I got stuck watching the. [ __ ] cartoons and the later like hey. keep it moving guys I'm like yeah dude. sorry we're just like Mickey Mouse. man Mall type [ __ ] homie that's what it. is dude um yeah what other sours now. what about build thebear Were You There. When that came out or oh yeah yeah and.

what what kind of clientele would you. see over there brother uh mostly the. white folk was it really yeah builda. bear is a white thing yeah yeah I would. say so a little bit you know it's an. experience it's fun you know what I mean. um here's a store for you Sharper Image. that was the [ __ ] Jam right there. Sharper Image was like by far I think. Sharper Image was the reason I got a. mall job actually no no [ __ ] cuz oh yeah. it was where the future it's where Elon.

Musk was born yeah bro Sharper Image was. D wasn't he born in a sharper image that. this was our Elon Musk yes right sharper. [ __ ] image dude you would find a hair. dryer that could sort coins and um. massage your feet yeah and massage your. feet tell you your blood type and tell. you if your mom was being a [ __ ] or not. and then they would have like a remote. control car that you could never [ __ ]. afford always yeah and it was like it. was like the best one I don't even know. what that is but I wanted it you know oh.

they had dude cuz everything in there. none of it was like all none of it made. any like it was a ridic they had like a. wallet that could grate cheese they had. like what you know they had like those. things you'd put your um women right. there what is that little foot spa Foot. Spa at home Foot Spa those things that. everybody bought and never used they. never never ever but Sharper Image was. it dude they'd have like weird little. like um what is this premium Innovative.

defrosting tray you could just set your. meat out on a tray and it would defrost. that's called a counter um but they sold. that [ __ ] [ __ ] 100 bucks real. Sharper Image premium Innovative. defrosting tray dude um what else did. they have Sharper Image warming foot. massage [ __ ] my mom had those right. there really did she use them [ __ ]. yeah they smelled after a while oh yeah. definitely dude they [ __ ] rank G yeah. but sharp oh oh that was it too the The.

Hanger dryer whatever it was there was a. a hanger for your clothes that would. like blow out air and [ __ ] really yeah. yeah a lot of it was ridiculous [ __ ]. this right here is a Sharper Image. closet ionic air purifier yeah that's. what I need who so between two of your. shirts you can put an air purifier that. is the dumbest thing I've ever seen dude. Sharper Image seems like I have this. invention yeah it's not going to work. out but we have this store for you yeah. yeah everything there now the chairs. were the big thing though You' go in.

that's the reason you went and you'd. look at the lady and she would give you. a look as to whether or not it was just. a wasn't a yes or no it just you could. tell if you were allowed to go get in. that chair or not yeah you could tell it. was either they were going to help you. out or they just gave you the look yeah. you know were your parents yeah they. would say something like that kind of. passive aggressive but. direct yeah who are you here with myself. and this chair what stores do different. ethnicities frequent at the mall where.

do the uh where do miente go where do. the mikanos go seiz candy really yeah. for free candy free samples oh wow you. walk in they give you a [ __ ] treat hi. welcome to se's butterscotch you're like. [ __ ] yeah se's candy was the lick man SE. candy had everyone there yeah se's candy. huh hey Seas you got to understand. though Seas candy was just a reason for. us to go get free candy and Mexicans. love sugar yeah [ __ ] yeah wow good gifts.

too I used to live down in Mexico I used. to get boxes of candy all the time I'm. like wait are you are you saying. something like no no no it's good I'm. like [ __ ] you let's do this yeah the. peanut brittle there is pretty nice I. will say that they had they made a. beautiful brittle for a while I don't. even know if Sees Candy is still open or. not oh they are they are oh yeah oh yeah. giving out them free samples daily um. where else do the miios go. oo back then uh let's see I forget the. name of the store oh remember KB Toy. Store yeah yeah they didn't go to Toys R. Us they went to KB Toy Store cuz it was.

cheaper M respect yeah I me man I went. there I loved KB Toys yeah I remember. seeing it I don't know where we would I. think we a lot of times get our toys. over at Walmart I think but um what. about the brothers and sisters where do. they pull up at oh [ __ ] uh Bed Bath and. Beyond no lotions oh forell smell goods. and lotion lotions for shows bro yes sir. damn yep. um you could [ __ ] oh yeah there was tons. of lotion uh God they had all kinds in.

there too all kinds uh dude remember. when um okay so blackfield went to Bed. Bath and Beyond do you remember at Bed. Bath and Beyond bro when they C there. was was it Beth and Beyond I think it. was maybe it was it Sephora they had. these lotions that started to smell like. cookies and [ __ ] dude oh yeah and they. never had it before and people were. going crazy mhm I actually you know. what's funny I remember that year the. summer girls were walking by smelling.

like candy and [ __ ] like yeah what is. this this is nice you know I think it. was Bed Bath and Beyond yeah there you. go Christmas cookies man body lotion God. that was was nice [ __ ] was nice bro it. was like the new cocoa butter yeah yeah. that was Bath & Body Works Bath and Body. Works Bath and Body Bath and Body Works. that's what it was that's what it was um. what about um the. Indians Bangladeshi Muslims all that.

where do they pull up at any high-end. stores really yeah they were the highend. people the the dads always walking with. their hands behind their backs moms with. their purses out kids spending all their. money oh yeah 100% that's Asian yep um. what was up at Hot Topic dude oh Hot. Topic man who hung out there that was a. different Corner okay so my Hot Topic. era was the real Emos the real little. grungy ass kids that came in there and. [ __ ] you know it's all like Sailor Moon.

now but back then it was [ __ ] kids. eating rust and [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah man like. they would come in make a black makeup. all over their face and [ __ ] but the. Beautiful b beautiful Marland man the. real Maryland mans and kids you know. what I mean those the people that would. eat their parents if you gave them a. half hour [ __ ] yeah and they didn't buy. you something from Hot Topic it was real. ERS Hot Topic was it right yeah man I. loved Hot Topic I and what's funny is I. grew up very Urban very like hip hop and. all that [ __ ] but Hot Topic was. definitely a vice of mine yeah it was.

man like when you went in there you're. like what's going on am I old enough to. be in here is this something just my. older brother and sister can go to that. was crazy and they also had music in. there yeah they had CDs this was back. when they had CDs and [ __ ] uh and so. that was different because people would. be there if you they're picking out. music than your brain's In Like A Music. Space so you might get a shirt that goes. with a B you know yeah cuz you're like. there was a bunch of like ICP albums. there yeah yeah that that's who used to.

hang out uh at hot top like the jug of. San Diego yeah I used to love it hot. topic was like that man hell yeah um any. other store really what about structure. remember that store or no. oh look at you flashing the pad wow. Miller's Outpost even dude Miller's. Outpost was like about Arizona and [ __ ]. y Miller's Outpost turned into what. Anchor Blue or something like that. really yeah I didn't know Anchor Blue. was like the first time you could buy. like baggy pants and [ __ ] you know cuz I. was like [ __ ] yeah but Miller's Outpost.

was definitely one of the uh stores that. all the Trendy Kids went to like. everyone popular went to Miller's. Outpost got genos and [ __ ] like that. [ __ ] Levis they had the suede Vans. there yeah dude I'd never seen a. Miller's Outpost till I lived in Arizona. for a little bit and that's when it was. a little bit different um what do you. guys see on the cameras and did you guys. ever catch anybody having sex or. anything like that man so I I I actually. have a good story about that we've seen. a lot on camera I I've seen people.

getting head uh I've seen I I've seen it. all oh yeah that's one vote for Trump. right there you feel me but we had a. direct incident with one of our guards. okay so and what rank was he uh he was a. no striper no stripe he was a no stripe. he he he was a baggy pant Dicky wearing. guy like me um good guy though but he. was messing around with the girl from. Cinnabon he was yeah was she cute e she. was all right she was a Cinnabon you.

know. yeah so one day I'm watching the cameras. and on the cameras I noticed she's going. to the car and I'm. like that's that's not our guy that's I. think it's the movie theater guy you. know wait what are you talking about I'm. confused okay so the girl from Cinnabon. we were watching her go from Cinnabon to. the parking lot to her car okay but she. was walking with a guy oh she's walking. with a guy to her car and he I think he. was in I think he was the employee one. of the employees from the movie theater. goes in there we could clearly tell.

they're doing some. [ __ ] he leaves within five minutes. somebody else comes walking up it's our. guard he gets in the car no they start. doing their thing uh-uh was that a Honda. Accord uh it was a uh Nissan Ultima yeah. yeah Ultima for sure so they do their. thing and we're just like me and my. other guy like no [ __ ] way is. happening like she's on her break you. know she's doing all this on her break.

oh so she's on her break she met up with. movie dude they're hanging in the car he. leaves five minutes later y'all's boy. shows up the other guard shows up does. his thing somebody from your rank so we. call he gets in there and I was like hey. man I got to show you. something and I was like hey you know we. saw you go in he's like yeah but I know. you're not going to say nothing right. you know I'm like yeah but rewind uh. he's like what the [ __ ] so we start you. know talking [ __ ] to him and all this. stuff but I go up to the Cinnabon girl.

and I was like. hey I I watched everything that happened. she was like please don't say nothing. I'm like Cinnabon for life so I got free. Cinnabon for life but yeah my boy and. the movie guy taxed the same girl in the. in the [ __ ] in a half hour period saw. that on camera and do you think it was. full sex or you think it was. oral uh it had been full sex the second. guy no way why sure he came out. adjusting his pants and she came out. like adjusting her [ __ ] the first one.

just she was going like you know wiping. it up oh yeah she needed she probably. just needed free passes or something you. know oh yeah you know that's probably. when um what's that movie that killed. Paul. Walker fast and and Furious that's. probably Fast and Furious 3 came out. have you um what else would you guys uh. did you guys ever um hi this is Ary. calling from Cole's department store on. Golf Road I've got an active this just. shows how they can follow people with.

the mall cameras call from security to. 911 inside thefield CO's last month we. security guard watches two men and a. woman on store security cameras load. items into a cart like this wallet that. she's convinced are about to be stolen. and they concealing. merchandise they've got a cart full and. they're um in a U-Haul truck d a whole. U-Haul. in the parking lot she watches as they.

casually go through the store even. taking time to sample some cologne but. accumulate more and more items in their. cart they're about to go the East hold. on sorry they keep coming they're about. to exit and then they come back they're. like plotting their exit as the security. guard waits for police to arrive she's. still on the phone with 911 when the. woman pushes the cart full of stolen. items out the front door going to go. right now I got to go make the.

apprehension she's the one in purple. chasing the woman with the car see. that's what so you can run out and yell. lost prevention though yeah doesn't do. guys do that I I've I've done it a. couple times um yeah what do you do. what's that like what's it like now you. see somebody stealing take me through it. nowadays today um someone stealing you. pretty much just grabbed the description. of them all that and can you call him a. [ __ ] or anything like that you can but. you just like be wary of the cameras. around you you know cuz everyone's got a. cell phone nowadays and it's like you.

could you could literally lose your job. over saying that it's like [ __ ]. [ __ ] you know because I do want to. yell out that [ __ ] yeah the guy's a. thief or the woman is yeah. um definitely have had my moments of hey. please stop don't do this you're going. to [ __ ] up I I literally have your. license plate and they'll just turn. around like [ __ ] you and it's like okay. man like you just have to follow him out. you know and you're just kind of. escorting the like like the thievery you. know nowadays you're just escorting them.

um now kids are coming in like 20 at a. time filling up trash bags and you can't. stop that nowadays man you just have to. really escort them out you know so now. thieves almost get security guards yeah. to make sure nobody touches them on. their way out you know right to make. sure nothing else so I don't want. anybody else getting involved here. you're almost trying to keep other. people safe that are there that sort of. thing yeah like I'm trying to steal. professionally here man back everyone up. you know like I'm trying to have a clear. path to my car. and it's like you give him that you know. even um damn bro uh one time Louis.

Vuitton had me work I was working at the. Louis Vuitton store in the mall oh hell. yeah and we had a protest protest came. and they for what uh fur like something. about like fur like cuz Louis Vuitton. kills animals or some [ __ ] blah blah. blah all that horeshit but then they're. all wearing leather Nikes and I'm like. you guys are [ __ ] up you know um but. the this is. it oh this could have been any in a. different. Mall yeah this they're from uh they're. from like AFA or some [ __ ] like that.

they do this like weird ass Instagram. post for everyone to meet up and then. they'll come they do that they come in. with the [ __ ] uh bullhorns and [ __ ]. right and they say stop with the fur. yeah fur kills or something like that. but I didn't let him in my door and this. [ __ ] put her megaphone right here and. I literally like you have cameras and. everything and I'm and I'm. just burying like all my hate for. everything I've ever had in my life she.

has a sound going right in your face. yeah and and then she'll turn it around. and then she'll let the siren off cuz we. had a rope it's like well we're going to. let you go so far it's like I don't. cross this rope you don't cross this. rope she had the [ __ ] bullhorn right. here and it's like I don't condone. hitting women at. all but I want to shove this bullhorn. down your [ __ ] throat right now yeah. you know and there was a point in time. where one of the guards came and he saw. me shaking he goes are you going to hit. her I'm.

like since you said it no you know but. if you wouldn't have said it in the next. minute ah something might have [ __ ]. happened you know and those are things. you can't do 20 years ago I'd have. snatched that bullhorn and threw it. across a [ __ ] mall yeah for sure 100%. but it's it's stuff like that nowadays. it's like that like protesters they get. away they're throwing fur and fake blood. at you and you're just like what are you. supposed to do you know like how much do. you guys get paid an hour 20 bucks an. hour. [ __ ] come on man yeah it ain't nothing. man you know you get hit by Blood and.

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brought to you by better help you need. help don't you well sorry I'm talking to. myself um I've struggled in my life with. mental health and other type of hell. every damn every every type of Health I. could struggle with I've had it yeah. most uh some U I've never really had leg. pain but mental and emotional health uh. those those have been tough spots for me. and when I get into a tough spot I like. to trust someone better help is the. group you can trust if you're thinking.

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yeah hell yeah D I did it too one time. did you yeah New Orleans dud okay I was. going to say he wasn't at you know this. one place cuz you do look familiar no no. uh I've uh We've caught two people on. camera going in and you can clearly tell. they didn't go in with anything and the. girl was like [ __ ] you know giving the. just like [ __ ] and I was like oh. she's doing blowing in there she's doing. probably blow and blowing can you hear. it can you see is there a camera you can. see in there no not at all not at all. you could clearly see him walk in and.

she was like yeah I'm going to and I was. like oh she's going to suck his dick and. we creep up you know we don't make it no. we creep up we listen get a little perv. on for a. second and then [ __ ] beat on the. doors really hard and then you know it's. just oh you know next yeah or something. you know like deuce you know like you. know but um definitely I've caught in. many people in the ACT many all Races. all gender uh caught two gay dudes one. time that was an experience for me you.

yeah like what did you see any action. sword fighting nuh you saw two wieners. at once in your own line of vision God. Dam it was at Horton Plaza uh Horton. Plaza is out of San Diego it's not there. anymore no that's the hor play yeah so. it was inside the theater and theater. called and said hey there's something. going on we need males to come into the. bathroom and handle this so I get in the. bathroom and I hear giggling mhm and I.

almost feel they wanted to get caught. yeah because when I open the door it was. almost like they were paused and then. they're like oh sorry and I'm like uh. can please stop and what they had their. wiers out yeah both of them oh wow. unfortunately one was hard and one was. not oh wow so really looked yeah I had. to like it was I mean you didn't have to. I mean at a certain point you you well I. think if you see the rest of somebody's. body as naked you know the wieners right. there in the middle you know when you. walk in and something and it's just like. oh oh oh yeah it was a you know that.

three-step part of like hey guys dicks. okay get the [ __ ] out of my bathroom now. you know but I feel they wanted to get. caught 100% well there is something. weird if you see somebody naked. immediately you need to know if they. have a like you you like you can't even. help but there's something inside of you. I guess maybe I don't know I don't know. I don't probably like competition is it. bigger than mine you know like you think. no I think you just don't. I don't know I remember I was in uh we.

were in New Orleans my girl friend we. went into Victoria's uh Secrets right we. went up in there and um yeah we both. snuck in there and then just started. having a little bit of scx boy and we. were young and so it was you know it. were so you know and not it was fun when. you're young it's fun to just do a. little bit of [ __ ] or whatever and. it's um yeah it was like yeah sober sex. is is for children I've always said that. and anyway it was just that was awesome.

I miss her a lot sometimes and um you. know what else but but but was there. other sexual instances you guys would. say oh yeah uh a lot in the parking lot. really a lot of go in the parking lot a. lot of employees after work in the. parking lot um what doing sex in cars oh. yeah oh yeah uh we caught somebody. behind the trash can the dumpsters one. time like they coordinated to go take. out trash together cuz the guy told me. goes yeah I told her to take out trash. at like like 8:30 and we met yeah it's.

Romeo and Juliet [ __ ] yeah and the gross. thing is like it was the food court. trash can so it smelled like food and I. was like you couldn't use the one that. uses plastic and cardboard oh yeah. that's recyclo and Juliet. dude God oh yeah right there behind the. dumpsters though oh yeah if I oh yeah. it's hard for me to stay erect if. there's broken glass around or like a. bad trash smell is rough you know the. smell of other pee kind of throws it off.

too um oh dude I remember so wiggers. kind of remember them oh yeah I was one. yeah oh really yeah yeah right on dude. yeah I had a black step I have a black. stepdad so grew up in that you know yeah. yeah and every's like you're a wigger. I'm like how there's a a real one at my. house yeah yeah yeah well but they. started at the mall I feel like yeah. 100% yeah like back in the day I feel. like if you needed a wigger or you. needed a ginger you went to Foot Locker. or Lids I feel like that's where they.

kind of that was like their junior. college or whatever called out my whole. life right now I love Lids oh Lids is. the definite place for you to roll up. and see what was kind of wiggering. around the area you know oh yeah. Malibu's Most Wanted Was Always walking. through Lids it was great and those were. the ones yeah yeah that's where God kept. most of the wiggers I feel like was Foot. Locker and lid dude yep oh 100% 100% and. JC Pennies they hit out in JC Penney.

really yeah cuz they that's where all. like some urban clothes were at you know. yeah so they would get them on sale they. knew where the sales. were um what happened as malls started. to decline man did you notice any of. that in your time yeah you could. definitely tell like over one summer. about 10 years 15 years ago it was just. like not packed anymore wasn't fun. anymore um they still had the big movie. blockbusters out but people weren't. lining up to see Spider-Man no more you. know like once you see the theater die.

out I think that's when the mall is done. once once the theater starts going and. you can't draw anybody in there cuz. that's theater's always been like the. Hub of why you go to like the mall. sometimes you know like what are you. going there for I'm going to movies you. know right but as soon as that decline. started it just you could see like and. it's sad when you see like empty stores. in the mall you know like oh man I used. to go there and it's like well it's not. there anymore it's like put something in. there and they'll put like a phone store. in there or they just yeah now Apple's.

like 20 stores deep and you're like. cares you know yeah or it'll be like. kum's magic shop or something it's like. [ __ ] get [ __ ] homie I'm not going if. yeah if someone's dropping you out at. the mall to learn magic dude you are. being sex traffic dude yeah you're being. set up for something I mean that's easy. right. guys. yep um but what what about during the. holidays did malls always stay busy at. the holidays kind of yeah they did they. did for sure because once like like you.

said once the decline happened St store. started doing more sales during the. holidays trying to get the attention out. and those were the times it's like the. holidays for the mall was great because. it's like traffic people were out having. good times and stuff like you know. mingling yeah it's fun and and that's. the best and that's the best thing about. the mall they're blasting that Music Man. 247 it's like yeah it feels so good and. with with the holiday Mall thing.

it's I I wanted to go back to that like. get rid of Cyber Monday and put it all. back in the mall put the holiday sales. back in the mall let us fight let us. like terrorized doors you know like I. miss the real black Fridays the real. black Fridays are gone really yeah the. the the true black Fridays of sitting. out all night and you open that door and. I two black Fridays I got into a fight. okay yeah I so Black Friday was crazy. for you guys oh yeah black like that how. would you prepare for that would you.

guys like did you yeah like would you. guys have to do any special training. before black Fridays or did you guys get. up early that day what was that like um. to be honest uh a lot of us would do. actual stretches like for Black Friday. because we knew we had an 18-hour day um. some of us who were smart enough ate. right ate correctly stretched out a. little bit cuz we knew we were going to. fight especially if you were if there. was a Target at a mall like if there's a. Target set in the mall that Target was. the worst place for Black Friday. everyone's lined up they're rushing.

through they are punching you they don't. give a [ __ ] about nothing but but the. the OG black Fridays man I I missed. those those were the fighting days over. like something yeah and oh yeah and. those were like and those were the first. like remnants of you can't touch anybody. you know the OG black Fridays were kind. of like the start of don't touch anybody. just let him fight over that [ __ ]. blender that's only two bucks right you. know and you let them go at it well it. used to be you could buy like a coffee M. they have like a coffee maker they can.

tell if your cousin's gay or not you. know and they'd be like well who cares. but yeah we got to get that you know and. they would fight over it yeah or they'd. have like a water purifier that can tell. um that can guess your like uh weight or. whatever it's just like [ __ ] that's like. one lady one lady one Black Friday got. beat up. outside. because at the time I don't I don't. think they understood the system of. layaway so like the actual store didn't.

understand what they got themselves into. yeah so this lady goes up and everyone's. in [ __ ] line for the electronics. everyone's fought already now I've I've. lined everyone up calmed everyone down. cuz the electronic department in the. store wasn't open yet they were waiting. two hours to put everything on sale this. lady goes and asks how many PlayStation. or how many PS4s do you have and they're. like oh we have 100 I remember hearing. like we have 120 she goes I want to put. lay away on all 120 cuz it was only like. five bucks a layway so she's like how. many cameras do you have okay and so she.

spent like I don't like two grand on. layaway and bought out damn near. everything that people were waiting in. line for so by the time like even the. second person like so I can't get a. PlayStation they're like no soon as they. put on layway they have to take that. exact item and put it in the back so it. wasn't like they can reorder anything. they was like whatever was out was out. on sale so this [ __ ] lady put all. this [ __ ] on layaway she gets out and. people down the line went and met her. outside and asked her like hey are you. going to sell this stuff like is there.

any way we can get in it and she's like. no and start walking away and they beat. the [ __ ] out of her and I shut the door. and walked away that's greed yeah I I. was like you deserve that one like cuz. she she was one she deserves it you. can't go on Christmas you're telling me. you are you how old was a woman oh she. was in her 40s good you're telling me. Miss 40s you're going to use 120. PlayStations you're getting beat you're. getting [ __ ] beat up you're getting.

beat up and that's the kind of [ __ ] we. need um vigilantism here's a video right. here Black Friday. Stampede Victoria Secrets and this is. whites hunting panties right here boy. there we. go a lot of [ __ ] thong hell yeah God. that thong in there bro remember when. the thong came out mm oh yeah bro Google. when did the thong come out bro because. that changed everything bro everybody.

became a hoe right then mhm when did the. thong come out bro the thong swimsuit. I'm talking about the thong panty bro. py like when when did it come out in. Walmart to make you feel uncomfortable. cuz remember when I remember there was a. time when they were actually out like in. Walmart and you'd walk by and you feel. oh [ __ ] I I don't think I can walk by. this aisle 1990s it said. uh looks like they debuted in 74 but. really caught on in the '90s let's go to. yeah go get okay 74 go to there the.

thong makes its official debut with Rudy. gni's invention of the thong swimsuit y. 2002 a year later this style was being. sold as underwear Across America that's. in 74 in 1990s thong underwear hits the. mainstream that's what happened marketed. widely as a practical undergarment to. pair with slim fit jeans to best avoid. visible panty lines yum yum the 1995. Victoria Secrets hold its first public.

runway show led by model Stephanie. Seymour and Rebecca ramanan igniting a. consumer thong frenzy dude 2002 over 120. million pairs of thong underwear were. sold in the us. alone that's when I was at the mall. really yeah that those are the years I. was at the like those were the good days. man a lot cuz I was 22 so he had all. those like those young ass women women. coming out of college buying the [ __ ]. what was it like 5 for 30 oh yeah I.

would definitely mhm I would. be I would be in there I bet it was a. sniffer dream was it oh yeah would you. guys ever go in there and do some pervy. [ __ ] we wouldn't but we would catch the. people that. were you know were there some lurkers in. there in Victoria Secrets what was that. like cuz that was Victoria was that. where the babes were at where were the. babes at in the mall Victoria Secret. okay Victoria Secret um we got a call. one time about a pervy dude in.

Victoria's Secret because I guess. they're allowed to try on the panties. and they put a little pant like whatever. they do to put a little panty liner in. to like block the you know the clam and. the jam so I guess they when they take. the panties off it's not like they go. throw them in a washing machine they. just put them back on the rack so I. guess the guy caught on to where they. were putting those panties and he would. go by and just kind of oh yeah these. look good yeah get that good whiff in. make that [ __ ] make your wiener walk. forward baby I like that M.

um yeah I dude I. yeah I understand I think it's um and. would you guys have to go and talk to. that guy yeah unfortunately really yeah. like how do you what do you say there um. I actually used my my own words I said. hey man what the [ __ ] are you doing in. here sniffing underwear like that and. he's like I'm not I'm like bro you were. in here sniffing panties is like a. [ __ ] pervert why he's like and he. started walking away I said hey bro.

don't come in here no more stop grabbing. handfuls of panties and sniffing them we. see you yeah and and then he walks out. and I I swear he said this under his. breath he goes I'm still going to do it. really yeah I was like oh he's dedicated. yeah you got to that man but he was. definitely one of the only ones that I. actually encountered I've heard plenty. of story like there was there Victoria. Secret girls used to tell stories all. the time about like man this guy used to. do like a run by sniff or um girls would. like uh if they pull up their panties or.

they would hold panties in the air to. look at them or something a guy would. like drop his wallet or something you. know a quick little sniff by and he's. like yeah we see a lot of that here I'm. like why don't you say anything like. sometimes it's funny sometimes it's. really pervy I'm like it's all pervy. it's all pervy but at the same times I. guess it could be funny if you just see. somebody hit a knee and a sniff yeah and. what would they do is trying to sniff. smell the woman the butt oh yeah yeah. that'll get you sniffers are weird yeah. well it's uh you know humans are 40%.

animal or something and um they do it. you know so I don't think it's crazy no. but it's uh yeah it's an art for I don't. know if it's an art form that's crazy. but yeah it's seems weird I think it I. it should have been something back in. the day that got frowned upon like hey. you can't be sniffing Sally's ass it's. like whatever man yeah um have you ever. had to protect like a mall Santa or. anything like that yes or what's it like. when the mall Santa come give me take me. through some uh Christmas time L okay so. the mall Santa situation is always a fun.

one because um eight out of 10 times. he's a drunk really oh yeah you get you. you you will honestly get a Santa guy. that comes in there who dedicates his. life to be in Santa all year long who. can't wait to go to the mall to do the. Santa thing and then you got guys like. me who are like [ __ ] I just need a job. for like the season it's like seasonal. job you know but I've had guys literally. pull up drunk you know like hey where do. I go I'm like who are you Santa it's.

like oh come on over here um the Santa. the the drunk Santa were always fun. because they had the drugs they they had. the weed um and they were the funniest. with the kids cuz they were the nicest. yeah the the guys that actually did the. Santa fo year they would get irritated. through the first two hours the drunk. ones would be like hell yeah I'll get. your Ferrari anything you want you know. yeah so I used to hang out with the. those those Santas uh during the season.

I'll get your mom a half pound of [ __ ]. you feel me that's crazy that's stupid. actually you know I've actually heard a. Santa hit on on her mom and and he. should dude it's he he said I got a. present for you to unwrap oh Santa. should get every the first woman the. first guy any woman should want is Santa. who's your husband you're like uh you. know he plays for the Mets or whatever. like [ __ ] my husband is s Santa mhm um. we had Santa on the podcast show a clip. of that guy let's just see get a look at.

him he was amazing. man oh he's got the full look at him he. got a championship belt on in every look. at him he is the world champion of Santa. it was so cool to meet him dude we were. excited how long is he how long did he. do it for he was in the game I think 26. years he did M Santa stuff he was. sanning he done all types nice he' done. it from everywhere across the from Guam. to um oh wow Connecticut yeah he done. everywhere um and what was it like.

anybody ever any issues with Mall Santa. or anything like that uh one one one. Santa had to get fired his third day and. I think cuz uh he fought a parent cuz. the kid asked for something and the. parent was going like this trying to. tell the tell Santa like tell him no. tell him no it's like Santa's not. allowed to say no you know what I mean. well the kid was just asking for like. toys like basic toys but I guess the kid. was a bad kid and this was supposed to. be a lesson to the kid but the parent. didn't let us in on the [ __ ] on the.

jam so the kid starts telling um Santa. like hey you know I want this toy this. toy this toy he's like oh yeah this that. and she's like no tell him no and like. you can see him kind of. like okay so he keeps going on then the. dad walks up and he starts still telling. the story or tell him what toys he wants. and the Santa starts just eyeballing. that dad cuz now the dad's like doing. this so the kid gets up and now the dad. walks over and says hey man we're.

telling you [ __ ] no and he's like hey. I I don't know what you're telling me. notes he's just asking for toys and the. the dad kind of just did like this. little backhand to it like he's like. shut up just just kind of backand it. literally a Transformer he went from. Santa to whatever his name Wasa cuz he. stood up and literally as he stood up. the beard the hat and everything just. kind of came off the whole top he's like. what and they just started fighting. right there on the spot he's like he. started Santa started hitting him I kind.

of stepped in the middle pushed the mom. back cuz the mom started clawing at us. and then the kids like he the kid. literally standing there going what did. I he he yelled out am I getting a. bite I just want to know [ __ ] you know. but he literally yelled out what did I. do wrong and I'm like oh man he like in. my head like you didn't do nothing wrong. with your [ __ ] parents you know yeah. but I and later on and the cops came the. parents explaining that we're trying to. teach him a lesson we brought him here. cuz we want to talk to Santa and all. this [ __ ] and I'm like Well you ended up.

getting your ass whooped yeah so what's. the lesson here yeah you shouldn't you. can't attack Santa because he has M. because he's the best that's why yeah. and bro you don't know who's under that. Santa you know. no um let me ask you this um any would. you hit on women dur at the mall because. it's probably hard here's what I would. guess would be tough a woman shows up at. the mall she's attractive you're you. feel attracted to her but then how do. you not just chase her like not chase. her on but you know what I'm saying Amal.

is just people are going in a certain. direction if you you know cuz I is even. I remember when I was young and I'd be. at the mall you'd kind of be following. the girl around the mall M stocking Mall. stalking's real is that what it's called. Mall stalking Mall stalking and as a as. a mall cop you can definitely get away. with it more than just being an average. Joe yeah you know cuz if you're like. just following a girl normal clothes. you're like [ __ ] going on but no we we. used the mall stock back in our days you. know girls would show up and it it'd be. nice too because like it it's kind of. weird cuz we had our own little groupies. cuz they think we like oh man he's a.

security guard he can get us back stage. like to what you know the best we can do. is probably sneak you into the theater. you know and that right there was money. back in the day girls loved us for that. really yeah because it was it was kind. of a scam cuz I would walk the girl up. to the movie theater and I would know. half the people anyway but most of the. time I'd walk up and like hey uh she. left her purse in the theater I'm just. going to walk her in make sure she gets. out and they like oh okay guess you're. all right I'm like so what movie would. you like to. see easy numbers man easy numbers but.

yeah uh Mall Cops actually had their own. little groupies around it was great ever. getting laid from a woman you met at the. mall no yeah really no no I never. pursued uh too much like I I never. pursued the the clientele yeah yeah just. cuz you never knew what that was going. to land and oh yeah for sure sometimes. you see like an attractive woman and. they're just shopping at the wrong store. and you're like oh yeah. good on that you know sometimes it just. [ __ ] everything up yeah oh so do M cops.

have enemies do you guys have other M. cops really yeah Other M cops um so. there would be beef on the force yeah oh. yeah oh yeah oh yeah if you have so say. you have Mall Cops say you have Mall. Cops that like they're on their day off. and they come to your mall and they make. it known that they're Mall Cops now. there's just that beef and you see them. walking around because sometimes they'll. come you're like oh we wouldn't do it. like that oh you guys do it like oh well. we do it like this like now we have beef.

[ __ ] your Mall [ __ ] whole Mall yeah so. there was Mall beef yeah oh yeah oh wow. oh yeah there any anything has beef you. know what I mean but Mall Cop beef was. funny would you guys ever do like a. volleyball team or anything like that. from your mall was there any like um no. I did try to get a softball tournament. going between the mall guys one time I. really I'm not kidding I really try to. get I really try get some softball [ __ ]. going go out there get drunk and if. things lead to the ninth end and we. fight we fight you know what I mean but.

yeah I was trying to organize some. things trying to have some fun you know. yeah yeah I think you have to I remember. at a w house one night I've been using. or whatever and I was in there and I. almost had uh a team to put together to. [ __ ] play another Waffle House oh. [ __ ]. yeah and then I don't know what happened. after that I think think I might have. fallen asleep or something but it was. just yeah people were. hey when you get him on board though. that's the best oh that's when it's the. best dude um what about ever have a lost.

lost child situation there. oh yeah though ever had a kidnapped. child situation no kidnapping situation. um an attempted kidnapping happened on. my day off wow um we all heard about it. uh I'm not going to say it wasn't like a. major thing to where like somebody got. out and like snatched a kid but I guess. a lady was going around cording kids so. to say like like if the parent would. walk away the lady I guess the lady was. walking up and just kind of like oh do. you know my son have you met my son oh I.

think you go to school with him he's. over there and I guess she was just like. listing random names and just a kid goes. to elementary it's like you might hit. one of the names oh James is over there. and I guess on the camera one of the. kids like looked up and said oh James. and went to walk towards and the mom's. like hey where you going and if the mom. wouldn't have looked I think that would. have been it for the kid but no straight. out like kidnapping lost kids all day uh.

out of a five week or out of a five- day. like scheduled for the week four of. those days you're going to deal with a. lost kid no way guaranteed guaranteed. what happens what's the major cuse of. that I will parents just being like just. too into what they're doing kids just. running off not paying and like I have a. toddler man these kids are they're just. fast you know what I mean they're fast. as [ __ ] and once they take off that's it. you you know like sometimes it's not the. parents fault sometimes it is the. parents fault like I can really back it. up like it maybe not but usually is um.

I've had kids on the opposite side of. the mall where the parents were. literally like inside like JC Pennies. and this kid bolted through the whole. Mall damn made it in other stores made. it all the way down and now he's just. sitting at a toy store by himself and. that's the truth he was literally. sitting in a toy store and when I found. him he was sitting there playing with a. toy and I was like hey his name was. Jacob I was like hey are you Jacob and. he looked up he goes yeah cuz he was. like seven or eight he was you know like.

he was old enough to know like [ __ ] my. parents yeah I'm go as toy store yeah. I'm G do my own [ __ ] dad's not doing. well or whatever no wow so that's got to. be kind of is it scary or is it just get. so repetitive that you're like oh this. is probably the same thing you know. still scary no to me it's scary because. one I'm a parent and so it always sinks. in like don't want to lose your kid but. then you always want to slap him in the. back the [ __ ] head like dude pay. attention to your kid you know so oh. 100% but you know the the worst ones is. during like the Black Friday like the.

holiday seasons cuz it's not like one. kid it's multiple kids that are missing. and it's like they're not even missing. it's just so crowded you not paying. attention and do you have to do an. intercom thing then or no oh yeah what. do you do what do you what do you say. there you're just getting over the line. if the parents of Jacob or there's a. lost kid he looks like this um and. within if you go over a PA system within. a minute you know a lot of parents will. start perking up you know like if if you. have a human heart you start perking up.

and looking around just kind of check. your surroundings and we usually get the. call like oh he's over here playing with. [ __ ] toys you know and you're like oh. let me go get Jacob yeah so the food. court what's going on there man food. courts you missed it yeah I missed the. OG food courts uh like sabaro sabaro. pizza was so good love it it was good. and horrible but it was a lot of. people's first taste of Italian it was. bring it up bring up zabar zabar was. good man they had a lot of.

uh bread at it that's what I like feel. like it was hella. bready I mean it's pizza but still but. God yeah Zar you're right d what the. [ __ ] am I talking about zabar was so. damn good dude and also you didn't know. at that age you there. wasn't you didn't know what was good or. wasn't get the second no no yeah get. that one right there that's the one I. too God it looks. good right I can just smell saboros.

saboros dude and I loved it too cuz like. I love zabar I love Mal Fu cuz you don't. have to wait long it was just like what. do you need what do you want and then. you just go down this little jail line. and you're like Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam pay. and you're out and would you guys eat at. the uh eat there every day usually. pretty much yeah especially because once. you get like once you make friends with. everybody you're getting discounts and. you getting hooked up and cuz you're not. telling on them cuz they're doing [ __ ]. in the parking lot so you know yeah we. ate there a lot it gained a lot of. weight eating did oh yeah especially.

when Rubio we had a Rubios popup in one. of my malls and I thought that was like. okay I'm going to start eating fresh and. eating better [ __ ] no tortillas all day. it was great [ __ ] yeah Rubio Rubio in. the mall's good yeah Rubio was pretty. good man they took out a they they used. to have a McDonald's in my mall and I. know it's I know it's weird to say kind. of frowned on it's like why would you. take out the McDonald's and it's like. because everyone would go strictly to. McDonald's cuz if you put a McDonald's. in the mall it's just like you know like.

Ms to a a flame you but doesn't that. help that because then at least the. malls are around the. freaking other stores yeah but they just. I guess McDonalds just takes all the. business from all the food court places. you oh it's cuz kids because it's food. court if you're with kids it's always up. to the kid where you're going you know. and they're like McDonald's you know. it's like right kids always say. McDonald's [ __ ] yeah especially if they. had the playground yeah and Miss field. did they have that oh Mrs Fields they. had the cookie cakes remember those. those are [ __ ] good my mom would.

always get those for us for our. birthdays oh man dude bring that cookie. yes yes so those were speaking of Miss. fields in my day we actually used to get. these cookies after they would Clos. because um a lot of these places they. can't like sell the [ __ ] the next day or. it's like goes bad or whatever I've. eaten probably a hundred of those. [ __ ] birthday cookies in my life yeah. taking them home cut them all up hand. out to friends and [ __ ] yeah I've showed. up to like friends houses with [ __ ].

three or four of these cookies like is. it your birthday I'm like nope Mrs. Fields was closing you know you have two. cakes to say happy birthday Chad on them. you're like who the [ __ ] is Chad who. gives a [ __ ] but happy birthday Chad um. what mall store had the dumbest. employees oh [ __ ] or what mall store was. just F like what mall store was whatever. it was just like what are we um. uh what is it FYI is that a store FY FY. DVD store oh yeah that was a weird thing.

it's like what was that um it was it was. like the guy it was. like it was like all the fake yeah it. was like all the fake movie Buffs worked. there like all like it just like it was. just a weird store like they had the. weirdest employees there and no. disrespect to them but you guys were. weird it seems weird though cuz it's. like like you wanted to work at Hot. Topic but you weren't cool enough to. work at Hot Topic you wanted to work at. like music traiter or even the movie. theater and you weren't cool enough to.

be like and this was like all right [ __ ]. it here work at FY this is like the. leftover [ __ ] yeah but to be fair FYE. had a lot of good finds like you could. find like the most random ass [ __ ] there. you know like like a scarfed porn you're. like hell yeah oh yeah that's. respectable um what store had the hot. chicks where where uh yeah what store. had chicks in it usually the Victoria. Secrets uh amber crom uh when Amber. cromy and Fitch came out I did not go. into that store for almost the first.

year like even like as an employee. working at the mall and they would tell. you to go do Wellness checks on your. stores I would not go in Amber cromi and. fit why I didn't fit in the clothes I. just it just one of those things man oh. yeah it was only for Attractive people. like models like yeah it was for modles. dude so I did not walk in there and the. one time I did walk in I was like so. this is where all the women are at. gotcha gotcha but Aman Fitch was just a. little intimidating you know for myself. it was how a Miller's Outpost guy like I.

said well Amber cromi and fits too dude. they uh and they' have like naked. children on Horseback remember when they. came out with all those photos and [ __ ]. I thought that was J crew that did that. I don't know who it was J crew was one. of those stores too you're just like am. I a pedophile or am I a medium you know. like you just couldn't even nothing made. any sense in those places dude that was. that was the weird part yeah you felt. weird um oh yeah look at it yeah. straight and they would have and. sometimes they would have live models. standing out they're like come on in.

yeah that was weird I worked at one for. a little while I worked in the back. though back with the. sloths back there ringing the bell for. [ __ ] whatever you know ringing the. church bell or whatever it's lunchtime. y'all let's. go get your six back in the steam room. [ __ ] they they would let me out. sometimes to wash people's six pack in. the front I had to oil them sometimes oh. but with the spray I didn't have to do. the towel thing I was just like you know.

bet dude bet what were the best things. about being a m. cop the the leniency of not having like. a boss hanging over your head sometimes. because with having the badge you were. able to go places and nobody would. [ __ ] question you and flat out I'm a. pothead. so the best thing about being a mall cop. and I think why I stayed there so long. cuz I had so many hiding places I had so. many like resources for free food um. people watching was great you know it.

was just like those small things but the. majority of it was just not having. somebody breathing down your neck 24/7. CU you were like your own boss you know. a lot of Mall Cops are a lot of Mall. security it' only be like one or two. guys you know four at the most if it was. like a busy mall it's like one or two. guys and the one guy that's walking. around in the platoon or whatever yeah. yeah and then it's just like. I'm just by myself you know and that's. always good it's just always good until. somebody makes a call for a lost kid or. some [ __ ] and you're like I gotta go.

would you ever be would you be high a. lot of times most of the time and if it. if any security guard if any [ __ ]. security guard at a mall says that they. weren't stoned or not stoned or doesn't. have a pin in their pocket now you're. not a real security guard you're not oh. yeah security Stone 24/7 I I will never. hide that fact but W that had to be so. scary you get to call for a missing kid. and then like like 30 seconds later you. forget what you're looking for and you. just buy a uh an Annie's pretzel or. whatever oh [ __ ] yeah like and the mom's.

like if you found him you're. like who you know like um I don't I'll. admit it okay so I'll admit one time. yeah I I was getting really high in the. parking lot and a call comes over that. um a boyfriend had shown up. to one of the stores and the girl had. already called the cops told the. managers so we were aware of this. boyfriend that was being abusive so I. get the call mhm hey guys uh girls.

boyfriend's back this and that can you. head towards the store I 100% was like. confident that I was going to make this. call I was like yeah no problem no. problem y I'll be there right now I'm on. my way I'm actually walking but I was in. the parking lot smoking I put my radio. down I go back to my phone I go back to. the blunt that's lit and I start. scrolling through my phone mhm thinking. all right let me just hit this a couple. more times and I'll get out of. here about 10 minutes later a call comes.

says Hey the police are coming now the. guy hit the girl and I'm like oh [ __ ] oh. [ __ ] I [ __ ] up so I'm putting it out. I'm [ __ ] putting the sanitizer on. [ __ ] cologne and everything deodorant. and I'm [ __ ] running towards a thing. and the first thing I do Theo I can't. make this up I looked around nobody's. watching I take I had these little. scissors in my I had this like little. knife but it had the scissors in it I. took the scissors and I cut my pants I. took dirt and I went like this and I.

came up limping like where were you I'm. like I [ __ ] fell and I tripped and I. rolled my ankle and I I was calling you. guys but nobody was [ __ ] answering me. and they're like are you okay I'm like. yeah I'm fine totally lied that I rolled. my ankle and fell because this girl got. hit by her boyfriend damn yeah to this. I'm sorry to this day I feel bad yeah. you should have been there should have. been there should have ran to the thing. but I didn't think that was going to. happen but then no you didn't I think.

that's not true you were hot you [ __ ]. I guess you didn't think it was yeah you. didn't think it was serious I didn't. think he was going to go in and hit her. yeah yeah you're right my bad my bad. because it was. like the stories where he was just. coming up and yelling at her for like. rent money or whatever the [ __ ] he was. asking he asking for he kept asking for. money yeah but I didn't think he was. going to hit her but the story went he. got she got in his face and they started. doing this bumping each other and he had. pushed her and like hit her or something. I was like [ __ ] I would have been there. for that I would have so been there for. that but instead I was watching [ __ ].

videos can't win them all man n you know. and I bet there was a lot of ones that. you won um Gus Parson Mall Cop we. appreciate you man thanks for keeping. things secure and uh and yeah man thanks. for spending your time with us today I. appreciate everything you've done for me. man I can't thank I can't thank you guys. enough you know oh yeah it's been a. blast man thank you so much now just on. the breeze and I feel I'm falling like. these leaves I must be.

Cornerstone oh but when I reach that. ground I'll share this piece of my I. found I can feel it in my. bones but it's going to.