4-17-17 | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #18

what's up you little Christmas criminals. bro huh you little pancake neanderthals. you guys ready bro are you ready man. Jesus back you feel them JC in the. building. hallelu man look at that hair coming in. hot today boy damn I'm feeling a warm. front on my scalp Daddy I got that. freaking cake golin bangs with that. caramel apple back slap on the. neck I'm feeling fired up man man happy.

Easter to everybody you guys ready I'm. ready welcome to this past. weekend this past. [Music]. weekend. and in our. world and. prise by the F of a song The Bri on the. wall.

we. and Came Upon a. story Old Time. Magazine Came Upon a story in an oldtime. magazine that is born and graced man. that is born and graced uh and that is. um music and that is um that's two. things that I feel like I am dude dude.

you know you don't have to be religious. uh you know to have faith I don't think. and I don't think you have to be. religious to feel born because I mean. you're obviously born dude prove you. weren't born okay show me pictures of. let's say your baby crib with nobody in. it. doubtful and also graced man if I look. around in my life enough man I feel I. feel that I've been graced I feel that. I've been graced man I mean I know I've.

made a lot of poor choices um that. haven't ruined me that I've been able to. bounce back from I've had a lot of. experiences that weren't G that weren't. good that I've been able to bounce back. from um I've been forgiven by people uh. for wrongs that I've that I've that I've. started that I've created that I've done. and uh and I feel I feel graced man uh. I'm offered Grace daily daily I'm.

offered Grace I'm graced with the. ability to be out here on Earth dude. think about that okay tr- existing on on. another. planet okay people are always saying. well life isn't a miracle and it's. science and [ __ ] okay Mars dude we. can't find a [ __ ] on Mars. they're always out there taking. Footprints from 70 Mi away and telling. us it's something dude you can eat a can. of [ __ ] [ __ ] you can eat a can of.

[ __ ] Russian piss with all that I. don't believe that dude you know until. they find a young buck or somebody out. there doing sex on another planet man. I'm just saying we're graced bro we're. graced with the opportunity to be here. on Earth and that's what I'm feeling man. happy Easter happy Easter to you guys it. is let me see the date here it's April. it's Monday now April 17th and it is um.

2017's is the year and we're still here. we're still here you know there's been a. lot of things that they say could get. rid of us um I think people were a. little worried North Korea could be one. of them but them dudes can't get it up. okay huh them uh North Koreans can't get. it up they can't get erect they just. basically doing a little bit of light. Easter. fireworks you know when y'all came when. y'all shouting out out at the mouth but.

y'all can't pop off you know and I've. had experience with that um you know. definitely some times in my life where I. couldn't get physically erect you know. erectile in the you know in the dick and. the lower penis and um one time I. remember feeling very embarrassed with. this young G I don't remember her name. kind of. taller big shoulders had kind of the. shoulders of a man really and the rest. of a more of a woman's body elsewhere.

and uh and I was really struggling with. some erection and she's like well I have. a friend that can definitely get you. erect and I was you know weary about it. because I'm already 0 for one sitting. there with this you know a little bit of. a blondezilla you know a little bit of a. uh you know a little bit of a blonde. Squatch you know she was definitely she. could play tight end um for maybe a 10. and 11 year old boys team.

and she um but she was of age you know. she was over 18 but I'm just saying with. her you know size and kind of you know. upper she had a lot of might a lot of. Might upper might around the collar bone. and she could have really Set It Off I. think they in a uh for a for a boys team. around the 10 11 year old age range but. anyhow um uh so she phoned a friend dude. you know she got all U game show on me. she phoned a friend uh uh this redheaded.

gal who was kind of tatted up and she. came over and both of them tried to. really get me erect for a while and um. and that didn't pan out so that was that. was just double the disappointment some. shame really I felt and you know I mean. I didn't want to let the second girl. down that was really I felt like I felt. like she was letting the second girl. down via my erection or lack of but um. but that was kind of a trying time but.

anyway man uh Happy Easter dude I'm. coming to you guys from Baton Rouge. Louisiana I hope that uh you guys had. some opportunity to spend time with. family or friends if this audio isn't. really solid well guess what dude you. can eat a [ __ ] small bag of cat [ __ ]. because I'm doing the best I can I. literally have my microphone set up on a. a cookie tray um and I'm doing the best. I can here from my brother's home in.

Baton Rouge. Louisiana um I am we'll get into some. personal stuff here I'm uh going to come. in at nine months sober when you hear. this and I know some of you guys party. and you know do acid and you know doing. types I know some kids are doing butt. acid now where they're doing LSD and. they're you know suppository type of. deal um what else boofing that's blowing. cocaine pain in your butt and you can.

watch that on YouTube if you want to see. some of that what the kids are doing um. I know that some people. are doing uh other types of things. blindfolding themselves and and getting. high and you know jogging and [ __ ] like. that um you know but I'm not doing that. right now I'm just you know I decided. I'm going to stay stay uh drug free for. a while so that's where I'm at in my. life I don't judge anybody that can.

still party at this moment um hell I've. done some poor I'm I'm in Baton Rouge. right now first time I ever tried some. cocaine was over here in beautiful Baton. Rouge Louisiana I. think um and I went for a run I thought. it was a you know a performance enhancer. I'd heard that and I guess at the time I. was training for a uh half. marathon and so I caught me a couple of. grams of um you know that white donkey. dust you know a little bit of brain kick.

and uh and I went for the longest run. I've ever ever ran I ran for 11 miles um. cuz I never ended up doing the half. marathon because I got into cocaine uh. nothing will keep you out of a marathon. like a little bit of uh you know that. white you know a little bit of Saturn. sugar you know so I I remember just. running along the railroad tracks and I. would stop and do a couple bumps and you. know I did a couple grams and ran 11.

miles um and then I jumped over a fence. into some people's backyard and they. were doing marshmallows it was kind of a. I don't know if it was a it maybe a. family event but they were older this. was the older people were still awake. drinking beer and doing marshmallows on. a fire and I hung out with them um I. didn't have a shirt on I was sweating. from the run and from the drugs and I. sat there and ate a good deal of. marshmallows high and cocaine and spent. some time with them. and they were LSU Tigers fans LSU Tigers.

and so was I so we had some common. ground there but uh but anyhow I've had. some experiences here in Baton Rouge. Louisiana I'm down here spending time my. family is here I've been in Louisiana. all. weekend I flew into New Orleans um a. friend of mine was dis dis jocking. playing sounds hitting you know doing. the hits at a uh bar where the people. didn't give a [ __ ]. I'll say that my friend is a good DJ uh.

but the people didn't care and that was. interesting to watch you know a man. really putting all putting his all into. the wheels up there and seeing people. not really wanting to Back That Ass Up. You know um so I was trying to be. supportive of him and uh and I feel like. I was I had some good times with my. friends um then I went to my family's. house we did. crawfish I had two crawfish boils this. weekend and um if you're not familiar.

with crawfish boiling it is crawfish are. basically they're like the Steven Avery. of shrimp you know they real gutter they. seem like they you know kind of got. their GED you know they kind of dirt a. lot of them got carry a little extra. dirt around the neck you know they're. kind of the Scottish of uh of of uh of. of of sea life they're basically the. Scottish of sea life and they are they n. they're a little bit nasty but you boil.

them up you put some good seasoning on. them and man it's a real treat and. people get together and it's more about. the conversation you have while you're. eating them you know people sit there. and and you're making sounds around each. other and you know your eyes are really. you catch a strong hit of a you know a. pepper corn to the back of the throat. and that'll light your eyes up and so um. we did some of that man and just you. know seeing each other be in pain and. and share their feelings at the same.

time uh that's really what it's about. and that's what brings people together. so I enjoyed that man spend some time. with my. family uh my brother has a a really nice. family here in Baton Rouge dude and. that's to me it's been really inspiring. in my life um I didn't grow up with a. family connection we grew up together um. you know we had four four children total. and my mother mother U my mother worked.

a lot you know she delivered newspapers. and baked goods regionally uh newspapers. locally and uh bgs regionally you know. dropping cookies and things like that. out in the area you know out to people. in different close States and that. um but so we us kids were around each. other but we didn't have a lot of. connection um and I didn't really have a. sense of a family I didn't think a. family meant anything you know but it's. that that whole perception has changed a.

lot uh as my brother you know has three. children now and watching him create a. family uh you know has really kind of. inspired me to maybe one day be able to. do it I have a lot of fear surrounding. that you know it just feels like a ton. of responsibility already even though. I'm not you know I'm not even near there. you know um but it's it just makes me a. little nervous man um just to know if I. can you know show up every day for my.

family you got to wake up not just for. yourself you know and I can be I have. been in most of my life I've been a just. selfish you know I think about myself I. thought about myself mostly most of my. life I've spent thinking about me uh and. I think a lot of that reason is when I. think back on my life I've been selfish. because I was scared man um to be honest. with you I was.

scared that that nobody else was. thinking about. me. so one of the reasons I really believe. that I was that I did think about only. me was. because in my heart I just I thought if. I wasn't thinking about me uh that. nobody was you know and it's it is you. know think and realizing that now and. I'm not in that place now I don't feel. like you know I've been you know trying. to you know get help and get past some.

of those childhood uh ideas and thought. processes um so I can grow up but but. that's a tough one to realize you know. when I start to really realize. that you know I was just I was selfish. out of the fear that if I wasn't. thinking about me that nobody was uh. it's kind of sad you know it's kind of. sad to think that I went through a lot. of my childhood that way uh in my young. adulthood that way but but I'm happy to.

to feel that I'm not in that place. anymore um and I'm happy to share that. you know to share just some of those. thoughts now uh and let you guys know. what I went through man but my brother. has uh three beautiful children one of. them just learning to walk and this. little baby is um she's a tall baby I. don't know how old that is you know I. haven't spent a lot of time around. babies because I'm not uh a pervert or a.

you know I'm not a pediophile I babysat. overnight I have two nieces that are. older N9 and seven and I Babys sat them. overnight multiple times zero instances. or desires uh but this baby is a tall. baby um I can't even maybe 2 and 1/2t. tall I don't know how tall that is. really but but anyway she's just. learning to walk and she got big legs on. her she got real hardy in the in the a. kind of in the ass and in the glutes and.

front leg ass whatever that area is. that's kind of top of your legs but not. your ass yet your you know your leg. basically your leg ass um but watching. her walk it's like kind of like a I. don't know if you ever seen a I don't. know if you ever seen a big girl eat a. snow cone in the rain but that's kind of. sexy um no I don't know if you've ever. seen a kind of a you know a heartier. girl you know maybe a yeah I don't know.

if you ever seen kind of a thicker girl. get off of a a tilt to whirl or a. Gravitron at the. fair um and these are some rides that I. referenced last week but I don't know if. you ever seen a big girl get off of a. fair one a dizzy whirler or one of those. tilt to whirl rides and you know not. have her her senses about her and kind. of wobble and you know kind of lean With. It Rock with it on accident but that's. what it's like watching this baby learn. to walk it's like a big girl that just. got off of a til to whirl. and it's funny it's cute and it's funny.

it's funny to watch and it's interesting. too when you when you when a baby's. learning to walk or when they take their. first steps everybody cares everybody's. like oh you know she's walking she's. walking this [ __ ] is out trotting this. [ __ ] is. trotten but it's crazy that the rest of. your life you walk and nobody gives a. [ __ ] dude you know like nobody CH it's. not like my mom text me again. 15 or 30 years later it's like are you.

still walking how's it going you know. your grandmother calls like I you know. good to see you I was there for your. first couple ones and you're still using. your legs nobody gives a [ __ ] the more. you. walk um but it's just interesting how. everybody gives a [ __ ] when you first. start walking but the more you walk. people give less [ __ ] uh for your. ability to do leg work. anyhow man it's been a joy to be around.

my family and to be inspired um by uh By. You Know by my own brother to be able to. create a family of my own one day I have. a lot of apprehension surrounding that. um but I'm hopeful you know I'm hopeful. to be. able you know to to. continually you know surprise myself. with who I can be um and that's one. thing I that I think is neat about. Easter man it's about a rebirth dude you.

know Jesus struck back bro you know. whether you think he was a savior. whether you think he was just a early. hippie or what do you think he was just. a straight up magician I mean he could. have been a David Blaine bro you know. but either way the dude inspired people. and either way he struck back a lot of. people thought he he ghosted and then he. literally ghosted him bro showed back up. you know and I like ghosts dude and a. matter of fact I love ghosts bro I love.

ghosts I've always I've always loved. ghosts and I mean they busted a man in. our town trying to be a ghost I've told. you guys about that before they busted a. man running a um a motel hotel and he. was trying to be a ghost and they busted. him and I was infatuated with ghost. since I was a child love ghosts always. love ghosts I love ghost pretty much and. and that's the like Jesus struck back. man you know and that's what a lot of.

stories in life are about are about you. know everybody thinking you're down and. out and then you roll a rock you roll. away to rock in front of the cave like. JC he hit them and you pop back out you. know and and I hope that you know that I. continue in my life to. be kind of reborn into new ideas you. know and things that I'm afraid of at. one point that I'm amazed at how I get. reborn into a new mindset that I'm not.

afraid anymore U that's one cool thing. about getting older I know some of you. guys have have dropped some calls onto. the hotline about you know being scared. and being in your early 20s and not. knowing Direction and stuff like that. bro just find a little bit of faith it. doesn't have to be in in a specific. religion but it can be in a higher power. of any of any higher power you create. and and just find just have some faith.

that things will be revealed to you uh. you know a new mindset can be revealed. to you and you can strike back dude you. know you can you can you can Jesus a. little bro you know what I'm saying lean. With It Rock with it bro you know. sometimes you you don't got your legs. but then that you know that tilt to. world you know that tilt towar fever. that tilter world fever wears off of a. big girl and she out trotting now you. know now she's out with her girls you. know and they out there trotting and.

drinking liquor so so I'm just happy to. continually be uh amazed and have new. new new ideas reborn into my mind man uh. and and happy Easter on that note dude. to everybody you know I watch some kids. look for eggs and do all of that and. they were fighting over the eggs and you. know some people got very. totalitarian I was at an Easter egg hunt. on Saturday and this was interesting. inter in we hit all the eggs for the. kids for the children and then we go.

back out there a little while later one. of the neighbors I guess who was. probably an. alcoholic had come over opened up half. the eggs in the yard dude eating some. candies leave rappers about and just. jetted bro just jetted I mean that's. some who does that who wanders into a. children's Easter egg hunt liquored up. snacks out on half them hos and Jets bro. knowing that this [ __ ] is for.

children dude man you know if I got one. request for the Jesus Christ hotline it. is to uh fire some lightning at that. little devil okay CU that's no way to. behave dude I mean I've made some poor. choices but that is just straight up. gutter eating just out the just just. it's just that's dark that's the dark. arts let's crack into some news man um. did you know that Emma Morano has left.

the Earth she was alive for 117 years. old she was the last human that was born. in the 1800s that was still alive and. she's gone uh she just passed away I. believe this past weekend and she. accredits uh her. longevity on this planet to raw eggs and. cookies and to um get getting out of an. abusive.

marriage and that's uh you know we we. can all be in some abusive relationships. you know I mean I've been I've been. probably an emotional I've been. emotionally abusive um relationships. that I've been in um you know and I feel. lucky that that some of them GS ain't in. the relationship with me anymore so. that's you know I can I can I can. associate with that but uh but that's. what she accredits her 117 years too so.

if you're cooking your eggs dude might. want to change that up if you vegan and. or if you're non cookie Teran you might. want to cookie up and if you're an. abusive relationship dude you might want. to take those boxing gloves off and uh. and step outside of it bro you could. live to 117 I don't if I want to live. that old bro you know at that point cuz. here's the thing even your own. kids have probably died so you're. sitting there there talking to people.

who you [ __ ] don't there's no way you. could know any of them or what they're. talking about um I mean every moment of. your life must feel like you're at the. DMV you know you're just kind of waiting. for [ __ ] and you don't really know who. else is [ __ ] around and and you're 10. and something years old uh but kudos to. her man Emma Morano an Italian lady 117. years old old um I'm going to drop some. dates on you guys I'm going to get into.

a few calls I'm not making this a long. past tonight because it's Easter and I. want to get some rest and I got to fly. to uh back to Los Angeles in the morning. uh I'm going to let you guys know I'll. be at the punch line in. Sacramento um this weekend that's April. 21st through. 23rd uh I will be in Tampa that's May. 25th through 28th at Sid Splitters I'll. be in Pittsburgh at the Pittsburgh. improv June 1st through June June 4th I. will be at Gotham Comedy Club in New.

York City June 23rd through. 24th and then we got a new show that. we're announcing where tickets will go. on sale I believe next week or in a week. and that's going to be in a small town. of Wyoming Illinois and that's going to. be July 30th actually no that's going to. be June 30th I'm sorry June 30th that's. going to be a fundraiser uh that we're. doing in that town so I'm excited uh but. that's what's going on man um and I'm.

happy you guys are here with me uh I. hope your Easter was great um and we're. going to get into uh to a couple of. calls uh so I can go so I can go to bed. honestly man all right man I'm tired as. a damn Amish birth canal guys so let's. crack into these uh questions here we go. uh this is from. Montana America fella right here hey yo. this is Brandon from Billings.

Montana I am calling because I wanted to. get some. advice Billings Montana I actually um. semi- witnessed uh a man jump out of a. window die to his death he landed on a. Starbucks actually in. Billings um and you know what I think. the Starbucks even stayed open uh but uh. but anyway thank you for calling Brandon. onward how to get my wife to start. giving me some more head I mean I do. things in return from her or return to.

her um I go down on her I even eat that. little uh little [ __ ] okay wow buddy. uh if you're eating eating that little. bee hole man if you're snacking on that. balloon knot back there I think you got. to use a washcloth first I'm just going. to throw that out there you want some. more head from the lady all right. onward but I get a little half ass blowj. jobs about her jaw you know those kind.

of things um give me some advice love to. hear. back all right man um all right. appreciate you. calling um [ __ ] ailment you got. issues here the well. first you know this reminds me actually. I met a guy one time um at a. casino and we kept in touch and then she. came to visit and before she came in. town she'd had some type of. surgery um and she'd broken her jaw. right before she came to visit me and uh.

and she had she couldn't open her mouth. all the. way so if if we tried to do some moral. sex I kind of had to. really kind of feed my penis in there a. little bit and uh and go from there so I. guess I have had some experience you. know I can share that that I've had that. some experience with some issues there. kind of had to baby birded in there. there a little bit into this gal's mouth. is Canadian gal um and uh and that was.

really pretty wild she also had some she. had fake hair that was kind of cheaply. made could have been made in China and. it kind of fell out around the house a. bit and that was alarming but um but if. you got an issue with the wife not doing. it man first of all in some places it's. not even allowed so you can find some. gratitude there that even bad [ __ ]. are allowed apparently where you live so. that's that's good um you could leave.

maybe leave some things around the house. you could hide a you know leave hide a. couple cucumbers around the house or. maybe get a sign you know says [ __ ]. are welcome. or um or you really want to do something. dude be brave w't you get her a maybe a. strap on or you know um external. penis um a a attachment you know and you.

give her one you know fire up on a. little piece of rubber candy coming off. of a belt that's around her waist and. maybe show her exactly what you. want um cuz if you're doing down there. if you're down there really doing some. carnal work then it does seem like you. might you probably you don't deserve it. but it seems like you want to be. rewarded so maybe that's something you. could do man um. you know it's I think a [ __ ] is nicer.

as you get older uh because it just kind. of it's a different type of touch you. know and it's it's exciting to a man to. to see that and to be a part of it you. know part of the [ __ ] is just seeing. it occur and that's really maybe what. you're wanting to see um but I commend. you for sticking it out with your wife. and you know wanting to figure it out. and not resorting to getting external. [ __ ] or you you know or jerking off. into fake mouths you can buy a lot of.

these fake mouths on the internet and I. don't recommend that I like the way. you're keeping it there within the. within the family. unit um I mean if you you know I am am. talking about family this evening and. blow job being going to get you a family. that's for sure you know you're going to. have to go guts on that you're going. have to get up in the guts if you want. to family up but if you're just looking. to get a little more head I would. suggest you know leaving some longevity. type vegetables cucumbers uh you know.

some eggplants you know that's the new. Emoji there so maybe hide an eggplant in. the bed and see how that you know what. that starts as um you know get a sign. maybe maybe graffiti your house dude. hire a couple of you know dark artists. to maybe you know. um maybe right they ain't sucking dick. around here or something on your garage. one morning you know maybe just even. start the conversation you can start it. externally by uh having some local uh.

Nells help out um now Montana you want. to keep her hydrated because that also. is the kind of country where you can get. dehydrated pretty quickly um but why you. call us back maybe in a couple weeks and. see you know let us know how how that's. going and if if any of these suggestions. are helping. out um but you want to create the. conversation you know you want to make. it a able conversation that you guys can. have together um and just let her know.

you enjoy it you know let her know you. enjoy it I would maybe send her a card. that says thank you for the [ __ ] you. give you know and maybe that'll just. Inspire her to want to do more get her. one of those [ __ ] classes you know or. um there's probably videos on the. internet YouTube links you could send. her but sending a lady a link is pretty. it's not very classy I'd get her an. actual uh instructural course you know. they got some um ladies that do lectures.

and stuff and even gay men you know that. do lectures you know or maybe introduced. her some gay men I mean they they do. blow jobs and maybe they could help. Inspire her so I'm going say good luck. with that right there moving. on what's up Theo man my name is John. big fan of the podcast dude thank you. John thank you for listening man um I do. appreciate it continue I had a question. for you you've mentioned I think in your. acting in several of your podcasts that.

uh your brother tried to you know have. sex with you when you're a kid and you. ALS yes I'm going to say yes to that my. brother um you know developed this heavy. desire to do sex with me when we were. children um it was kind of uh you know. he realized I kind of had a hole in my. butt and he was really he got early on. set erections I've discussed that before. on. also mentioned uh I think a couple.

months ago in your podcast that you were. out visiting him and his family and I am. I'm actually I'm at their home now I'm. actually I'm actually recording this at. uh midnight right under uh he and his. wife's. room um so I guess that is this is. interesting let's let's hear more I'm. just. thinking is that something that is. addressed you guys ever talk about that. what does his wife think about that um I.

just find it pretty strange that he. tried to do that to you as a kid and it. seems like that would create issue for. uh later on in life but it seems you. guys are pretty close I'm just wondering. how you guys go about. that well I'll stop it there and just. say that I mean I think we had tougher. things to deal with um you know there. was you know we were it was a tough. neighborhood and in hindsight it was one.

of the few. things that kind of brought us together. as children it's sadly it's one of the. it's one of the few Memories We have as. young children where. we spent time together was we me really. hiding my butt from him um you know and. I it is very strange I. agree um do we discuss it now here let. me you're almost done let me finish up. this question all right man keep up the. good work love the podcast uh I'm going.

to come see you out in Sacramento oh. good um April 23rd I believe looking for. yes you are man that's this weekend I'm. excited about that um do we address it. we have we've discussed it um you know. there's been forgiveness offered and uh. forg forgiveness accepted on both sides. you know I didn't and also just an. understanding that we were children you. know I have um uh some nephews from a.

different family um you know from kind. of a surate family and I walked in on. two of those young fellas nude in the. bed one time you know just just laying. on top of each other's bodies you know. and they weren't gay children they were. just you know young children and they're. they had a lot of feelings in their skin. at the at the moment you know and their. bodies just feel f fancy to each other. when you're young and you don't know.

anything you know um we had a boy in our. town used to kind of put his dick in the. ground um and that was bizarre you know. and you'd see him a lot. outside always just laying on the ground. and you knew what he was doing you know. he was. doing just doing kind of [ __ ] down in. the earth a little and that was just him. being young and so my brother and I have. discussed that it is funny sometimes. I'll see you know his kids kind of. fighting or slapping each other on the.

butt and I'll kind of nudge them a. little and that'll take us back to those. times a lot of that was because we. shared bath time together um you know a. lot of families will do group baths when. you're young with the. children um and my brother was just. weird man he you know he got early on. set erections and it's hard to I can't. penalize him for. that and I really can't penalize myself. for being kind of a hot piece of when I. really you know if I want to think about. it like that um I mean I had another.

time where one of my good friends and I. were under a blanket kind of feeling. each other's rib cages and feeling. erotic you know and now that's weird. when I see him because he doesn't wish. to discuss it and he doesn't want to. admit that you know we were both sitting. under these blankets being erect and. just kind of feeling each other's ribs. kind of like a you know like a blind man. at a at an. instrument um but that occurred and some. of that's just childhood stuff um does.

his wife know about it that's a good. question she's heard some of my comedy. where I do talk about it I don't know if. she's heard that bit yet or not and if. he comes to me and says that he wants. that she wants to discuss it with me I. am open to discuss it um it's not some. stuff sometimes that I want to. relive uh because I just realize that. there's we can't go back in time and. undo some of that young attraction um. and in a way I kind of you know I'm a.

I'm not grateful for it uh cuz it was it. was hectic dude you know knowing that. you know it was just it was like a game. of freeze tag that was going to cost you. really. some you know whatever Joy you currently. kind of held in your ass as a child you. know or Comfort whatever you know I was. worried it was going to cost me some. comfort cuz that I mean my brother. really he came at me with that with that. erection. and uh and it.

was it it just was what it was man we've. kind of move past it I appreciate you. asking about it because you know I do. think it is interesting and I think a. lot of um a lot of uh children when they. were a lot of people now when they were. children had some things like that occur. you know um one of my sisters used to. kind of do little strip teases and we're. waiting in the car when when my dad. would go inside to you know usually he. would go get us a sack of Pies a sack of.

uh slice pie slices from the Burger King. and one of my sisters would kind of do. some light erotic dancing sometimes in. the back of his car and that [ __ ] was. you know I don't know what the hell it. was but in hindsight it was kind of. weird and alarming I guess but at the. time it was just children and you know. it was I just look at it as something. that kind of. you know we did and we were kids and we. didn't know if he tried it now that'd be.

very much that'd be a bigger discussion. you know and I don't think we'll resort. to that unless you know the damn world's. about to end or unless um you know he's. married now and we don't have really a. lot of those feelings for each other you. know anything like that you know our. feelings now are just platonic fam. familial um and I'm grateful uh I'm I'm. grateful that we went through that in a. way so that if he sees that with his.

kids he kind of knows how to navigate it. so we kind of took that bullet for our. family I think um but I appreciate you. asking about it man we got one more. question. here hey what's up Theo my name is Zane. I live uh not too far from you I live up. here in Ontario California Ontario. California they have a comedy club out. there Ontario Improv where I don't. perform at much Zane but maybe in the. future thanks for calling bud onward and. I just got done listening to this latest. episode he said you going to take some.

calls on Family Life yes sir me and my. lady we've been together for 11. years she's going to be two this may and. uh okay you might not have been able to. heard that there it cut out he has a. child now that's going to be two uh this. may he and his wife who have been. together for 11 years onward Zane I mean. I just want to tell you man having a. child and working for a family I mean. kids are kids aren't easy but they're.

not as hard as everybody makes it seem. and you know I work hard I've been uh. you know I've worked harder now since. she's been born than I've ever worked. but you know it's all worth it and uh. you know you seem like a good dude and I. uh I wish you nothing but the best I. hope you uh you find what you're looking. for and if you're thinking of starting a. family I think uh you'd be great at it. you know it's uh you know all they need. is a little bit of love and some diapers. and food you know you know what I mean. and uh take care and good luck man later.

man thank you for that call dude um you. know and I know that wasn't a question. uh that he was asking really it was just. a statement um but I wanted to share. that because I thought that was just a. nice call it was a call of. encouragement uh and I need those you. know I'm I'm not saying call and. encourage me or you know U but I do get. some calls that are just supportive and. I want to say I I appreciate that man um. and this call kind of touched me a. little bit because you can just hear in. his.

voice uh you know that he cares you know. that he that he you could hear some. pride when he talks about showing up um. he's got a two-year-old little girl I. mean that's beautiful you know I don't. if you've ever you know uh you know just. spent time around a 2-year-old little. girl but I mean it's about the sweetest. thing when they're behaving about the. sweetest thing you can. imagine um and just to hear this man. married for 11 years and he's got a. 2-year-old girl and it inspires him to.

to work hard and and to keep going and. that's cool man it's cool to hear I. think partially because you know I. didn't I don't know how my dad felt. about me you know my dad was 70 when I. was born and he was 86 uh when he died. and I never you know we we just never. got to have those conversations by the. time I was old enough to ask him what it. was like to be a dad some of the joys. that he had when he was around me as a.

child he was gone so it's just nice to. hear um just a man excited about his. family you know we see all this stuff. about how families don't work and how. marriages don't work um but what we. don't hear about sometimes is just we. don't hear a man say that he enjoys it. and that it's hard work but that it. brings him some of the greatest joys of. his. life and I think about it you know and I. think about starting a family now I.

never thought about it before dude um. and that's been one of the gifts of me. over the past nine months of not. drinking and partying for me has been. having time to reflect and having time. to listen to other people and really. hear other people and hear some of the. joy and hear some of the trouble that. they go through and to kind of learn. from it or see how some of those. experiences would feel in my own life. and and a and and starting a family is. something that I've thought a lot about.

you know it's scary to me it's scary to. me to not think about myself sometimes. you know to think about that to imagine. that the part of my life. where just me and my joy is over you. know and that it's selfish to think that. I don't want. to you know provide or create a world. for someone else because I'm not done. creating my own world and that's okay. but but at some point I have to start to.

let that teeter totter start to tip you. know um if if I want to have a family. and and uh and you know and this year. I've started to feel like I would like. to you know and it's it's scary it's. scary to think about what kind of dad I. would be you know after would I be able. to even be married for 11 years dude. that. sounds I mean I haven't been in a. relationship in 10 years um you know.

because of commitment issues that I have. and stuff and uh so just to hear you. know that there's somebody out there. that's doing it and that is you can hear. the joy in his voice um it's inspiring. to me man you know cuz I think families. are important you know if I could go. back in time and have anything and my. life's been filled with a lot of unique. experiences man I've been really. really. blessed um I've been really graced had a.

lot of Grace uh in my life and but if I. could have almost anything when I really. think about it it would be to go back. and have just a a childhood where I felt. loved you know um cuz I didn't have that. I had a lot of supplementary love that. came from um families that took me in um. and and I love my mother and I love my. father and I think they both did what. they could for sure um and no one will.

ever replace my mother or father you. know but for some reason as a child I. just did not feel loved and uh and it's. just really nice to hear. somebody you know that's doing that for. their child and to know that that child. has a chance to grow up in that. environment um so I guess I just wanted. to kind of play that and share that and. just let that thought be out there uh. and to inspire anybody else that's. thinking about it you know if you're.

struggling or if you feel like somebody. else needs inspiration in that realm. [ __ ] share it with them man you know. don't be afraid to drop your joy on. other. people um a lot of my life for some. reason I've even felt scared to feel Joy. you know I think cuz I felt so. much misery or pain as a child and I. felt so insecure and. so just low.

self-worth that when Joy came around the. possibility of even telling somebody. else that I felt. good uh that was scary to me um and. sometimes it still is man sometimes it's. still scary uh to let people. know that I feel good you know when I do. and that's a new that's a new thing for. me is learning to let people know that I. feel okay uh because. for a lot of my life the only thing that. I knew how to feel um and to navigate.

was that I didn't feel okay you know. so um so that's another thing man where. I'm kind of being a little bit reborn. right there in that space where if you'd. asked me a year ago Dude you think you. know. you'll have you know would you be in a. year from now you think you'll be in a. space where you you know will have days. where you feel okay all day I probably. would have said no you know um but the.

last year of my life's been kind of. monumental and the fact that I feeling. some opportunities to um have some of my. feelings um be reborn and have some um. just new ideas of Happiness uh revealed. to me and a lot of that's happening. through other people other people just. just sharing their joy and me being able. to actually hear it and feel it uh so.

anyhow thanks for calling in we got some. other calls I'll get to them next week. man um you know but thank you Zane uh. thank you [ __ ] and Billings um and. thanks for asking about uh the sexuality. with my brother and uh you know part of. it's you know it's funny to think about. the times we had I mean that was you. want to talk about hide and seek dude. that's that was about a year and a half. of hideand-seek that went that was Full. Throttle dude that's fast and furious. that's a Tokyo Drift of hide and seek.

when your brother's trying to do sex to. you in the house um I'm going to take us. out this evening um on a song here this. is uh Victory theme that's all I know. about this I want to thank you guys for. joining me on this past weekend continue. to hit the hotline I'll post the number. at the bottom of the YouTubes uh this. will be on iTunes and then on YouTubes. later in the day on Monday uh Happy. Easter uh I hope it was a good one for. everybody I really do um and I.

appreciate you guys so much for just. kind of going on this journey with me. and learning as we go you know um damn. boy I'll say this dude nobody could run. 11 miles on a couple grams of cocaine. like your boy right here all right uh. let's take us out. man that's like a little bit of Rocky. music right there you feel.

that it's a victory theme. [Music]. bro I said Victory. theme cuz Anything Can Happen man you. got to sometimes embrace the idea of. possibility that's what I'm. learning you know and maybe next week I. want to kill myself but this week I. don't and this week I'm going to take on. my day and think that anything is POS. possible cuz a lot of times I would take. my days like oh I know what today's. going to be like this is going to suck.

you know somebody's going to [ __ ] in my. car you know or you know somebody's. going to kill a bird you know and leave. it leave it on my. yard. but if I wake up thinking I don't know. what's going to happen today something. new could happen I could meet somebody. new I could think something new I could. find a new. a. new a new revelation in my life or in my.

heart dude I know this [ __ ] sounds a. little bit gay as [ __ ] dude a little bit. GF but but dude sometimes you got to. embrace it sometimes you got to embrace. the the possibility that anything could. happen cuz that possibility man imagine. waking up just being like you know what. I don't know what's going to happen. today that's all you got to. do to create possibilities. just be willing to not know and I'm not. preaching at you man I'm also just.

trying to remind myself uh to do that. tomorrow and to uh to open myself up to. possibility cuz I need it man I need to. hear this I need to hear my selft talk. you know that's really just kind of. sometimes what I'm doing right here um. but I'm I'm grateful for you guys man uh. you guys have a wonderful week uh Happy. Easter bro enjoy it get to it get at it. be good or be good at. it but take care of yourself man you.

know and be good to yourself you know. once you try that I bet you deserve it. man you guys be swell bro I'm. out.