3-13-17 | This Past Weekend #13

hey bro you ready for some green eggs in. Hampton in DG Dr Seuss is here today you. ready for that hop on Papa locked up uh. uh uh Horton here's a. [Music]. hooker you ever smoke a joint and forget. your cousin's name dude you ever wear. one sock out the house huh you ever done. any of that you beautiful little piece. of space [ __ ] you have a pee on your own. feet in the shower.

oh that's so warm well if you've done. any of that you are welcome here this is. this past. weekend this past. [Music]. weekend. [Music]. don't but I know. want this is the life for.

me every day baby cuz I'm a thug. wouldn't change for the world baby cuz. I'm a. thug man don't we want to be thugs. sometimes man I want to dude sometime I. want to be a thug that's Trick Daddy. right there thugs are us that's Trick. Daddy man and sometimes I do I want to. be a thug you know sometimes I just want.

to wake up in the morning and just just. [ __ ] be violent and I'll say it man I. do I want to wake up and be violent you. know and I want to just shoot I want to. shoot I want to shoot the wall or I want. to just break a lamp or just fist fight. somebody in the trap house you know. sometimes I want to live like. that sometimes I want to live like that. man how are you guys it's March 13th.

2017 and uh and I thank you so much for. joining me this morning on this past. weekend coming to you from Bon Rouge. Louisiana I couldn't be at home today I. came to visit my family uh and to go. visit my friends in New Orleans went to. the St Patrick's Day Parade yesterday. that [ __ ] was disorganized to say the. least uh I love New Orleans but I do not. like that parade yesterday I mean it was. so so Irish dude there.

was it was so it was so it was almost. Scottish that's how bad it was dude it. was pretty close to Scottish the. Scottish people are about the realest. people in the game dude I mean they are. they're thugs man they're beautiful. thugs man they are. beautiful they are just the forgotten. children of the universe they still. fight with swords you could be at a. hospital in Scotland easily a couple. dudes show up with uh wounds for from uh.

ordinary sword wounds he'd be like what. kind of Sword did you get hit with then. he's like oh just a ordinary sword dude. those people are. still just fighting each other with fire. um biting a lot of people biting each. other there uh that's the kind of place. where you still get bit dude you got to. be on your bite game um and I guess in. in in in in in in us too I mean my. cousin got bit by a gay. guy about a month ago or maybe yeah.

so so we'll see how that works out but. thoughts and prayers with him man good. to see you guys this morning or not even. see you uh I want to thank you guys for. the support uh of the new podcast of um. of the The Comedy album we were number. one on the iTunes charts for a week so I. mean I never thought something in my. life like that would occur so I thank. you very much for just being a part of. it there's a lot of great new stuff.

coming out of the pipeline I promise you. and uh and I really appreciate uh just. the support you know I'm excited to do. some new things we're doing a cool. fundraiser show coming up in rural. Illinois this summer and then next. weekend I'm in Madison Wisconsin I'm. just getting these out of the way real. quick that's a brand new a brand new. March 23rd through 25th I'll be at the. Comedy on. State um and then Tampa Tampa Florida. April 6th through through nth and then.

at the 21st through 23rd I'll be in. Sacramento at the. punchline so I don't know what you're. saying Patty's Day weekend was like I. came into New Orleans it got pretty wild. dude at the end of the. parade the I never saw the end of the. prayed first of all because it was so. broken up we saw two floats we were. there for about 5 hours um and it was. just so there were people at the end. there was just a bunch of drunk irish. guys kind of we were kind of by the this.

gay neighborhood and if you don't know. what that is uh that's just a. neighborhood where there's a lot of gay. people um there's nothing wrong with it. it's just what it is and you couldn't. tell who was gay or who was just really. Irish because everybody was just it was. just like all adult men just kissing. each other and just jumping on each. other's backs and just you know doing. piggybacking and you know one one guy. was kind of pulling another man's arm.

hair they were playing like a little I. guess just a wild game that they tended. to get into and they were I guess part. of the game was just to pull get us you. know get up under a man's arm and just. tug on that arm hair a little bit and I. didn't stay to find out what the name. was and I couldn't tell if those men. were Irish or uh just. homosexual. so you know it's just crazy how close we. all are you know I mean if you get so. Irish you could easily.

wake up in bed with another man and is. that even gay or is that just being just. way. Irish um but I'm here in Baton Rouge now. I came to see my. family they had a birthday party for me. my birthday is in a week so it's not now. but I'm happy to be uh getting close. onto another year of Life they had a lot. of people come uh my nephews were here. that has got a beautiful new Jeep Pig. and so that's beautiful cuz you know I'm. in that hamster.

game so I want to thank everybody for uh. supporting 30 lb bag of hamster bones if. you haven't checked it out check it out. and let's keep it on the charts. there so we also went to buku Festival. there in New Orleans and that's a. electric disco disco music. event and that's a lot of children on. drugs and you know under the influence. of just all types of just psychedelics. and Delectables that's going to adjust. your.

Your Atmosphere you know uh and they. were having a good time a lot of these. kids and they had I mean just a lot of. them just look like they' just been. attacked by big just beaten with big. glitter dicks you know the the boys and. the girls just they had glitter and. bruises on their bodies you know and. just look like people have just been. beaten with big cold just ice cold dicks. made out of glitter and we saw run the. jewels band and and that is a mixed.

couple of men that get up there and. really put it together and we saw a. couple of other bands that I didn't. really get into but they had kids. dressed up like rabbits and all type of. animals outdoor animals and they were. eating chewing on pieces of plastic and. I mean like children dude they were. hopped up on that dust you know they. were hopped up on that dust man and I've. been out there you know I'm not judging. these kids I've been out there you know. uh I remember one time in Las Vegas. being on.

under the influence of some type of. drugs and meeting this lady and she said. she was a she was a Mystic right and she. knew where there was a warp zone right. and I was high dude you got to be you. got to be high to think somebody knows. where there's a Warp Zone you know. thinking back on. it and she next thing you know it's. 11:00 a.m. dude and I'm Milling around. Las Vegas with this lady we're probably. about 30 miles outside of the. city got near some rocks and stuff and I. got scared that's when I started. sobering up and got scared and I was.

pretty you know I was bent out on that. dust. so I've been going through some tough. times at that point but yeah if you know. a woman she had she wore like a. parachute or a cape you know and this. lady was probably in her late 40s and. you can't you just got to be careful and. that's what I don't like about some of. those drug induced events is that things. can go astray quickly you know and uh. you could end up first you're with your. friends and you chewing on plastic and.

having fun and next thing you know you. out looking for a Warp Zone uh with a. woman in her you know light 50s or or. heavy 40s in the desert and so that's. really alarming stuff but that was. called buku Music Festival down there in. New Orleans a lot of children uh on that. dust and uppers and just fragmented. their brains just some of them just. their brains is dripping out of their. eyes you know and some of it look. beautiful but I don't practice you know. drugs so that's where I'm at right.

now what else I'll give you a sensual. update man I'm I'm staying off the. masturbation now I think I have three. days so obviously that's not much of an. update so but I'm feeling. full I'm feeling Fuller below my you. know below my tool below my peker really. I'm feeling Fuller and that's a nice. feeling you know to be walking around. with your nuts just feeling qualified. you know feeling like when I look a. woman in the eyes that you know I could.

spray out if I need to you know I could. feed the family if I need to if we hit. that Great. Depression and everybody got to sip up. that Daddy's going to bring a meal to. the table you know and that's a nice. feeling to walk around with your nuts. full not spent out like I'd been doing. because I've been doing masturbation. sorry I know I'm caught up guys it's I. for some reason I cannot seem to do this. podcast at a regular time it's 2:30 a.m. here near Central Standard time but I.

made it here to Baton Rouge which is. where I am now it was a beautiful. birthday party man the kids they did. everything they were you know laughing. and fighting. crying beating people was doing urine. Outside. Inside I mean everything it was it was. nice man I mean it was beautiful you. know it was just nice nice to see. children having a good time I remember. on my birthday when I was young I had a. couple of bad birthdays actually I Ian I. had some nice ones my mother you know.

made an extra effort always to make sure. we had something uh and got a nice cake. cuz my mother really enjoyed some cake. and she would get a little bit of canned. beer and uh when it was your birthday. you got to sit at the head of the table. so it was you know it was a time where. you got to feel. like different even in in where your. place was at the table it was a special. moment for you and my mother would drink. that canned beer and we'd have some nice.

cake um I got attacked by dogs on my. birthday some of you guys know that when. I was um maybe seven or eight I got. attacked by a group of dogs one of them. came at me off the roof honestly I'm not. even joking or off of a balcony next. door balcony right when I came out the. door um a year or two later two of those. same dogs came back and jumped me again. on my. birthday and so I've had issues with. dogs you know some animals like that we. had a lot of uh Wild outdoor animals.

angry raccoons attack attack Coons. attack. possums what else do we have we had just. violent animals. lizards uh just [ __ ] little just. gangs of lizards and snails even that. looked like they was wanting to [ __ ]. somebody up so we had a lot of wild. animals in our neighborhood anyhow I've. had some rough birthdays over the years. um I started drinking there you know. when I was about 15 I remember uh and I.

had some issues there uh with a with a. brother one time actually I wanted to. get some vodka and they had this man out. Milling around outside of the gas. station loitering they call it you know. I guess in another language but we we. call it usually in America Milling. around and this gentleman was Milling. around and I gave him some money to get. us some uh some vodka and I picked him. up and he goes inside he gets the vodka. and stuff cuz I was underage he comes.

back out gets in the car I figure I'm. going drive around the corner and I gave. him money as well so he could get. himself some well this man told me he. was the headb button champion of the. world dude and this guy was a vagrant. this guy was a. vagrant and I'll say this man when. you're driving a car and there's a huge. black man in the passenger. seat and he tells you and you don't know. him and he appears homeless and gives. off.

every indication that he's homeless like. no indications was he giv off that. he you know receive mail anywhere. regularly and he says he's the. headbutting champion of the world dude. it's alarming man and I remember I. pulled my car. over because if I'm getting headbutted. bro I'm not doing it while I'm driving. you know um so I pulled the car over and. he goes yeah I'll show you and I didn't.

want to see I didn't want to see but I. didn't know how to appease him and. really make it out of the situation okay. so he we're pulled over and he takes my. head turns it to him rars back and this. guy had a big big head look like. a I'm like imagine a big head that's. dark looking and this guy rars his head. back and just bam slams it right into my. head blacked out knocked me out. conscious definitely the champ.

definitely the champ as far as anyone i'. ever I'd ever. met and I woke up or came to he was gone. um vodka was gone and that was it that. was another birthday so I've had some. tough birthdays but this was a beautiful. one this was a beautiful one the kids. were here everybody was here you know. they had other people brought their. children and it was just nice man it's. just nice to spend some family time. together it meant a lot to me uh we got. a lot of great calls that came in from. people um some I can't even get to this.

week but I'm going to hop into a few of. them um but that was my weekend you know. I had New Orleans came to Baton Rouge. saw the family I'm going back to Los. Angeles on Tuesday next week in Madison. Wisconsin very excited um and thanks. again for supporting the album let's get. into some of these calls man we had some. interesting calls come in let's check it. out hey C so I'm out here in Portland.

Oregon I just want to get your advice um. moved out to Portland last year and to. further expand my Social Circle I. started playing that Tinder game on. Tinder I was doing pretty good at the. game for a while but um not so long ago. and. odd I'm looking for your advice on this. um because I think you have some. experience with the orgasmic. meditation you see uh 7 three-year-old. woman uh whose name I won't say she was.

probably at pece back in her day but uh. now she's coming in at like a strong. four well she asked me to be her. stroker part of me is intrigued and uh I. want to explore something new I like sex. games and things but I know it's a. little different than that the orgasmic. meditation um I don't know if I want to. have this lady laying in my lap but. while I look at her.

bits um am I being. shallow uh what would you do oh and he. have to pay for this [ __ ] too. thanks so this gentleman is. asking based on my experience with. orgasmic meditation which is a seminar. Meetup type of group that I got uh. involved in and I'll tell you about that. in a second he's asking what do I think. about his um meeting up or being asked.

to join a 70 some OD year old woman in. Portland Oregon to be part of orgasmic. meditation well my experience with. orgasmic meditation for those of you who. don't know what it is it's a Meetup. where men pleasure women that they do. not know in warehouses and small areas. that have mostly cement floors and. sometimes indoor areas. that are better hardwood Tile.

carpet this is what happened to me I. went to a seminar downtown I got invited. by an adult. woman that I know and respect a. beautiful lady she was uh in a film. called uh peewee's big adventure and she. was the love interest in it doy is her. name and she also uh voiced uh Tommy. Pickles in Rugrats she's an.

adult so she invited me to this event. downtown in Los Angeles she said it's. orgasmic meditation it' be good for you. so I took her word for it and I showed. up first it's a bunch of people Milling. around having a little bit of a fruit. plate they had a fruit plate with a. couple of basic you know delectable. fruits I guess I didn't have any of it I. had coffee and then I'd bring in a small. snack of my own a think thin bar a 20 G. protein bar creamy peanut butter so.

everybody sits down and then they bring. a woman up to the front she takes her. pants off takes her. Underpants and then there's a man up. there he puts some gloves on and he. stimulates this woman outside of her vag. vagina and you know basically [ __ ]. ARA Kitty you say kitty sorry I don't. know a lot of women don't like hearing. stuff stimulates this lady out on the. outside of her Kitty you.

know and next thing you know they have. other people come up to the front of the. room who have been in the program and. they repeat the procedure where the man. puts on gloves puts like a lubricant on. his finger the woman lays down the man. sits right next to the woman the woman. has no pants on and the man Pleasures. the woman. for 13 minutes and then there's like a. little bit of a closing procedure at the. end. now some of the women will reach uh.

climax or. orgasms some of the men you don't do. anything you keep your pants on and. everything stays natural like that and. the goal is this the man supposed to. start realizing he can get get a woman. off um and he starts to carry that power. around inside of him and the. woman reaches orgasm and doesn't have to. reciprocate anything for the man so to. some people that might sound crazy right.

but I mean you know if you do the. practice you can really start feeling. pretty good so by the end of this. seminar that day downtown in a warehouse. they partner people up and you're. sitting there just stringing some lady's. Bean you know you string beaning. bro you're just you know doing the. practice there's a moderator walking. around there's 70 other people you know. who are laid out and uh just partnered. up and the men are doing their best and.

you can tell what place you're coming in. because the women are you know hitting. that Finish Line bro just it's like a. big Symphony of orgasms going off unless. you're not doing the practice. well so I mean I remember at the end of. this seminar. thing they had this one dude he was in a. wheelchair you know cuz some people's. just coming to meet women you know and. this is a you know this gentleman seem. like he been having a tough time might. have been a gang banger or something he.

was kind of Thug in his and his legs. were. really you know uh feeble I mean his. legs were practically braided I mean he. was pretty much a gang banger it seemed. like and he was his hair was looked kind. of cornrow up and even his legs were. kind of cornrow almost you know. just just braided really I mean that's. how what kind of situation he was in. that's how hard he was banging I guess I.

don't know I don't know his existence. but I do know that he was in there and. we had to partner him up with somebody. so he gets partnered up with this lady. who was really the prettiest lady and. that I thought visually most attractive. to. me so we get him out of the wheelchair. we lay him next to the lady you know his. hands still work so he's out there you. know doing work putting in time you know. he's just. just Morse coding out there on this.

Broad and next thing you know she's. spraying out and they're partying you. know and not like in a in a uh. unprofessional way just you know it's. you're okay within this confines of the. of the practice of orgasmic meditation. to you know bring the woman to climax so. people are maxing out all across the. room and I'll say this man for what this. practice does for people's.

Spirit me and another guy picked that. fell up out of his wheelchair and laid. him next to this lady his partner that. he got partnered up with and then when. we put him back in the chair at the end. of the practice he felt he felt. lighter and that may sound crazy but. this gentleman felt lighter and that's. when I felt in my own self that this. practice is lifting people and so next. thing you know I showed up at this thing. and I leave that day and I'm.

now I guess I'm licensed you know I'm. licensed in the practice and then they. had meetups and they still do I don't go. to them currently but they have meetups. around the city where you would meet up. in like an abandoned not a not abandoned. because I sound very homeless but you. would meet up in a center or like a a. center where they sold art or bad art. and you would um do the practice you. know and you could meet up during the. day like you could I mean there were. days where I'd be driving across town. doing errands and stuff in Los Angeles.

and then stop off you know twiddle a. bean and get you know because it builds. up your. bravado so I walk into a lady's place. like I don't have any problem really. meeting ladies you know that's not my. issue but I wanted to see what this. experience was like and you walk in and. you bean up a girl you know just Bean me. up Scotty and then you walk out and you. don't achieve any stimulation yourself. but you walk out of there after a couple. of ladies it's like you're walking. around with a couple sick Shooters you. know I mean I mean you got that power in. your fingers D I mean you're like damn.

Harry Potter dude and you just you feel. that empowerment inside of you you know. just that rius zus on that viticus you. know uh you feel like you're capable of. um of bringing women to orgasm and so. you have that empowerment and the women. they get to achieve orgasm and don't. feel like they have to reciprocate. anything for the men so it's just a. feeling of them being able to feel good. so anyway if you want to get involved in. something orgasmic meditation that's. what it is sorry I've gone on so long.

about that but I had to explain it to. you so I will say this my buddy from. Portland who who who asked about this I. would get into it because what you're. going to learn is that that all women. deserve to feel pleasure I mean I was. you know getting partnered up with women. that I probably would never normally. have talked to maybe or or gotten or. reached you know like because you you. usually try to date within your age. range and stuff like these were women I. wouldn't partner up with so you start to.

realize that there's some commonality. there that we all want to feel something. and that we all want to feel some. sexuality so I'd give it a shot man you. know I'd give it a shot it's called the. stroker that's what it is called as you. mentioned and uh and I don't think. there's a Buy in it was free when I got. in so it might be free still so get out. there and give it a shot man I'd love. for you to call back and let us know how. it was if you did have a real experience. uh let's hit another call man this past.

weekend hey how's it going Theo uh big. fan um my name is Malik come from. Sacramento California and uh I want to. ask you a question for SL some advice. from you um one thing I've been. struggling with uh a lot of my adult. life is anger issues um I think it stems. from you know not being super close to. my father growing up plus yeah I used to. get believe when I was a kid um you I. was a late Zoomer I hit puberty a long.

story short now I'm just some 6 foot2. 215 pound ripped up black dude who's. piss as [ __ ] all the time you know it. sucks uh you you would seen like when. [ __ ] happens to you in your podcast that. uh you know you you things may get to. you but you don't react violently and um. I want to ask you know what what do you. do to not get so [ __ ] worked up you. know when uh when things happen to me. oh yeah appreciate it thanks for your.

time. pH I mean I appreciate you calling in. man I mean this is you know it's tough. to how do you get rid of that childhood. anger as you become an. adult you know if you had issues with. your dad you probably were used to. dealing with things on your own if it. sounds like you guys weren't. close so now you are as an adult. probably still have some childhood stuff. you're trying to deal with but at least. now you're not deal dealing with it on. your own you know you're talking about.

it you know it's obvious you don't want. to. be you know you don't want to be the. angry black guy I mean not to say that. but that's what's I mean that's the real. of it you don't want to be that and you. don't want to be just an angry guy you. know and that's real man I mean it's. neat to hear that the angry black guy. doesn't want to be the angry black guy. that's what's interesting you know. because usually you see the angry black. guy you're like oh that guy Lov loves. being that guy but here he is and he.

doesn't and he doesn't love being that. guy you know um so it's neat to hear. this from your perspective man you know. I got a friend who's a flasher bro I'm. going say. that and it's a disease it's an illness. that he. has and to hear it from his perspective. is in is crazy because the last thing he. wants to be is a flasher you know. somebody that's just showing junk you.

know just SJ around town he doesn't want. that he wants to do other stuff he. actually wants to do construction uh. contraction work contractor work he. wants to be a. contractor an a licensed. contractor but he's busy he's caught up. in the in the in the throws of this of. this flashing because he's out there. showing just and it's neat to hear this. from your perspective man you don't want. to that you don't want to be that guy so. if I had to give you some honest advice. man I would say start doing some white.

people [ __ ] bro get one of those bedside. things that make the sound ambient Noise. White Noise they call it that's about. the whitest thing you could do get a. machine that makes white noise you know. I think that that kind of help [ __ ]. could help you tone it down I mean I. pretty much m mostly do white people. [ __ ] these days you know I used to do a. lot of you know Multicultural activities. in the day you know used to pop off a. little bit and get a little bit like Ino. and even [ __ ] I get rushing sometimes.

with some of these ladies. but you know now these days I'm doing. I'm keeping I'm keeping things Caucasian. you know I turn up a little bit. sometimes if there's like a if it's a. playoff. game you know I do appreciate you. calling it sounds like if you that. strong bro you strong enough to get. through this take a week off the gym and. work out on what's inside man just start. working out on it the first day you. might not feel it but you'll get there. you know you'll get there man cuz that's.

the manliest thing that's the heaviest. weights dude is whatever is Weighing on. our soul bro I swear and I know I need. to work hard on it myself I mean work. with a battered wives club or a victims. of violence you know that might show you. the end product of you know if you do. feel like you have anger and violence. issues at times it could show you the. end product of that and help you ward. against um you know you know have a stop. in your head and in your mind you'll.

have an end idea of what what the. effects of that behavior look like but. damn dog if there's one thing I'm afraid. of dude it's snakes if there's another. thing it's Hardy Brothers dude that are. angry I'm saying this anybody can get in. there and lift the weights but sometimes. the strongest thing you can do is lift. that [ __ ] that's off your brain you. know get in there and work out that. muscle cuz that's the that's the irony. of it is is sometimes we we we get our s.

physically so in tune but all we really. want is to get that weight off of our. chest or off of our shoulder you said. you might have been bullied growing up. or whatever you know I got attacked by. animals on my birthday man I don't know. if that's bullied. but but it's it's wild you know and I. don't want to see you out there headbut. button children like that man that did. me you know maybe he was you maybe he. had anger issues and he never dealt with. them and then there he is you know 15.

years later headb button school children. for. vodka you know I'm not saying that could. be you but you know if you don't get. into the gym that brain gym that Soul. Gem and start to figure out what it is. things can get squirly this G pigs walk. get off that. laptop damn he's so. wild boy come on. dude he trying to use. a he trying to use a Photoshop man he.

trying to use Photo he trying to use. Photoshop he trying to use I'm so tired. look at that look at them holes in my. face that's my eyes all right. man this past. weekend all right so this is Baton rou. on the way out we're going to listen to. you know it little bit of booy. by.

[Music]. [Music]. that's little booy. y'all with some taggy titty and you the. sickest of them y'all be good man take. care of yourselves I'll see you guys uh. next time.