Tom Segura & Christina P. | The Tim Dillon Show #348

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim. Dylan show two very special guests we've. been trying to get them for six years. and I emailed their I would text your. producer once every couple of weeks for. the last several years and we finally. we've done it we've got it we've got it. done but Tim you're so fantastic and. busy that's well. this gentleman is at me and you could. have done yeah 90 hours of broadcasting. we could have started a podcast in the. time you should yeah we should like we.

could have and you're back now from the. tour I'm back from the tour yeah I'm. very excited to do this you know we we. it was never there are people that you. go like you know I'm just busy right and. that's your way of being like I don't. like you right but for you yeah. for you it was real where I was I really. was gone and um yeah no of course it was. you know occasionally somebody asked me. to do something yeah and they'll be like. I'm like dude I'm not in New York and. then I'll look at my Instagram story. there's a photo of me holding a bagel on.

59th Street you know what I mean like. I'm very I'm a bad liar we're all the. same with that [ __ ] though everybody. wants to like you there's the things you. want to do because you like the person. or you guys click or you're a fan of. which we're all that with you like. relaxation and and it's always been fun. to watch your your crazy rise in all. this [ __ ] but um it is like an art form. to be of how to get out of things within. this world in the comedy podcast world.

you're always like no the thing is dude. I um. I'm having ankles yeah. I thought you broke here I'm like no I. did but I found out my ankle's weak too. so I use my mother a lot because she's. in a mental institution yeah that's a. good one so I just go what's great is. like my mother's not doing well now. here's the thing my mother's never been. doing well yeah it's been 30 years of my. mother not doing well I don't even know. what my mother doing well would look. like. what would that even be yeah she's a. morbidly obese schizophrenic so if my.

mother walked to the door of her room. and opened it herself it's a win. what's great about that is I just go you. know my mother's not doing well yeah so. I'm gonna just take some time with her. yeah I'm just kidding and everybody has. to go like yeah I guess and you love. spending time with her I love it I do it. four times a year yeah and now I do it. as much as I can but you know what it is. she forgets when I'm there a lot so I go. is this it real.

um they've just given her a phone like. she got whatever the version of the new. Obama phone is but it's like it's a. phone they're giving to lunatics and she. can't turn it on and can't use it but. it's one of those State programs like. remember when they gave Obama phones out. they're like the problem with all these. people so they can't communicate but if. they had the tools to communicate they'd. build a network of people and you know. they you know I don't know Marshall. their resources together is it like a. jitterbug is it like huge numbers.

it's a phone it's just [ __ ] she'll. never answer my aunt texted me her. number I'll call her now there's no way. she answers there's no way she answers. because my aunt please answer my aunt. text me goes your mother has a phone and. doesn't know how to use it so I just. ignore these texts I just go like. she goes your mom is a phone she doesn't. know how to use it we're gonna have to. teach her I'm like well I'm not doing. that. she's 70. if she can't use a phone let's. write it off yeah. let's see there's no way please answer.

what's her name Patricia. you don't have it saved I don't have it. saved. she's gonna lose it she's gonna lose it. there's no way she has this in a month. she's gonna say that if one of the black. orderly stolen. because she's racist yeah yeah she's a. racist person my mom was so racist when. she died like my mother was. schizophrenic too that's what Tim and I. have in common and I when I went to.

clean out her apartment because she was. a shut-in for eight years. um I met the security guard that would. look in on her from time to time yeah. and I was like hey I'm Christina I know. we've never met because I've never. [ __ ] visited my mother right and I go. I'm Edith's daughter and she goes oh. yeah. I remember her she goes uh she's an. African she goes yeah yeah she goes you. know she was okay to me. she never called me the n-word oh geez. and I was like that implies that she's. been calling other people other people.

yeah other people oh man. um yeah but not her not her so that was. a win yeah I don't think my mother's. using the n-word but she will. not yet she'll get there but like I will. sit down with her and she'll be like. um she'll go uh there are too many. Muslims in the country and I'm like is. that your biggest problem you've been. immobile for 20 years pretty much and. you're you're in this room and all you. can do is watch television and scream.

and Muslims right here Muslims are. bothering you. but that's the way I get out of things. and my mother did tell me when I was. little she goes just tell people I'm. dead she said that to me if you need to. get out of something just tell something. that wasn't one of the nicest things. ever very nice thing oh yeah it's one of. I mean everybody who has kids end up. ends up knowing this that it is the. great like cancel Clause it's like when. someone's like hey do you wanna you're. like dude I got yeah right and then. other parents know it they're like yeah.

yeah but they respect it other people. like it's code oh yeah it's code yeah. you don't want to do this and you're. like yeah of course kids so most. comedians don't have that like not like. a lot of comedians have that but a lot. of a lot of us unfortunately are single. there are some of us that go hey I'm a. pedophile. I can't do it there are some people that. can you know. can I say that I can't really uh I can't. make it Saturday. um.

um now do you guys ever get in do you do. your kids have friends whose parents are. cool. yeah rarely yeah no there's like there's. the ones where you're like here's the. thing. our bar if anything is so high for what. it's like to hang out with someone. that's true like none of none of the. kids. parents are at the level of like I'm. saying of fun and entertaining as like. commit like the most fun thing about. being a comedian really is hanging out.

with other comedians 100 it's the best. like having dinner the hangs in the. parking lot after the sets you're like. this I could do this forever you do that. night after night after night after. night and then you can hang out with. like some kids parents you're like I. want to [ __ ] die so your bar for that. you're like if this person is marginally. cool and fun it's it's entertaining. enough like the worst is children's. parties actually it's usually my kids to. like a Chuck E cheese and then you know.

you have to make Chit Chat which is a. southern [ __ ]. Chit Chat Small Talk which I can't do I. wouldn't put a gun in my mouth right. talking about the weather or what are. you gonna do this summer oh Jesus Christ. you know I like taking comedy right like. that's the worst good uh they're like. yeah they just kind of smile and look at. you and they're like you got any new. stuff and you're like what the [ __ ] are. you doing yeah what is this about yeah. you got any new stuff no do you think. you'll ever have children I don't know. um I'm deeply selfish yeah um this is a.

problem I think when you have children. yes yes. I if I had kids I'd want to spend a lot. of time with them like Bert. [Laughter]. you know what I mean like I'd want to. give them the attention and no I don't. know like. if I found a special guy who wanted to. raise kids I think it's great because.

comedy you know is great success is good. money is good all those things are good. but having a family and like you know. bringing up to one or two children to be. kind of alt-right sympathizing. reactionary podcast Psychopaths like. really I'd raise some of the worst. people I know that have ever existed. like really bad. like really really bad inconsiderate. people because I'd have money so they'd. have money but they'd also be like I.

think very bad people which excites me a. little bit it's very fun it feels like. it would be really fun I feel like you. know you're so aware yeah and that's. like it's keeping you from doing it now. but I think we all know that it's in the. cards this is gonna happen I think so. when you're in your 50s and you're like. a low T yes okay because right now. you're you're at your Peak you've got to. get out there and [ __ ] and you've got to. go and you can how you can't be tied. down by like having to like worry about. like a child dying oh no when you can do.

other things yeah yeah don't do that. don't do it right now I wouldn't do it. now but then later on it's a good idea. to like you know you have a child yeah. and you by godsend is Chinese which I. love I love because it's something. different yeah engines are so they're so. cute they're not only are cute they are. very competent they're intelligent smart. do you think that's just innate or is it. it's named he's very cold he doesn't. attach to his mother or father they've.

commented on this at the school he. doesn't care when he's dropped off he. won't even give them a look because they. are that they are the master race. they're in they're like they are really. [ __ ] hard they really are and they so. are Asian kids are so much better than. our kids no he's just he does his own. thing he doesn't care we even had in my. school uh very small school yeah there's. a couple one of the Asian kids they just. dominate not just had the 4.2 GPA. and was a classical trained pianist but.

she also was dominant I think in on the. swim team and you're like this is all. fast this is across the board high. performance yeah it's incredible I want. my kid to be a trans athlete yeah like I. want you know what I mean like if I had. a kid I'd want them to be embroiled in a. massive controversy like something about. like because otherwise why why even have. like Leah Thomas's parents are probably. really proud be like that's my son. daughter [ __ ] everyone up in there.

like you know what I mean like I'd want. my daughter son son daughter yeah to be. kind of one of those people is like. breaking boundaries I love by the way I. don't agree with Leah Thomas taking all. these girls titles but there is. something funny about seeing these. exasperated female swimmers or like at. the end of their rope and they're like I. was at the locker room and she had her. [ __ ] out and no one prepared me for it. and it's again that seems kind of unfair. but it's also very funny it's very funny.

it's also funny when they're like you. were the number one or two ranked. swimmer yeah and then a person came in. and blew your records away you're like. oh I'll never catch this never like it's. so far and away she's her records she. was like 700 yes yes as a man which is. like an incredible swimmer for sure. right but switched over transitioned and. blew like made World Records I was on a.

swim team for many years my mother was a. swim coach really yes and I was a. lifeguard it's hard to believe now. because I've I've left that path yeah. but I was a swimmer I'm still a very. good swimmer and I was on a swim team. and it it makes you gay yeah because. really yes well do you blame swimming. well because you're just in a room with. Cox how lovely the whole time so my my. past the first time I really took in Cox. oh yeah absolutely yes no I saw this guy. William who had a fully adult penis at.

the time I didn't and he was the same. age and I was like this is I'm [ __ ]. this guy and I didn't see I hadn't seen. I was on the swim team I was like eight. or nine and you see pubes yeah I hadn't. seen pubes on an eight or nine year old. no no because other older kids. [ __ ] is this right yeah wow so that's so. swimming in general is a very weird. crazy gay sport.

I like that it's become the Battleground. because no one cares about it either. nobody no one cares about swimming and. at all swimmers have they're ripped they. have great bodies but no one really. cares occasionally the Olympics you go. oh that's nice but I like that it's. become this you know no one cares right. it's not the thing anyone cares about no. one but what's great is it's this. cultural Battleground where people are. screaming these people we've never heard. from before and never will again sure. are coming out and going I'm a female. swimmer and I deserve respect.

outside of this people would have went. just shut the [ __ ] up yeah they would. have said that to us she would have went. I must I I have on third ranked in the. hundred freestyle and they would have. won shut the [ __ ] up you mean nothing. because they don't but now I think it's. funny. I mean I'm probably saying something so. stupid and like base but like shouldn't. you cut your painter off if you're fully. agree and it's more aerodynamic.

that's I don't believe some of these are. you going for time or not yeah all that. drag yes are we going for time I think. some people are unsure if they're gonna. stay the other way oh that's interesting. they're hedging their bets when they're. like I'm detransitioning in case I want. to change my mind later yes does this. person take hormones like to this person. I think maybe probably yeah yeah. for sure but she's got the hog does she.

have tits yeah she has tits are they. good they're not great are they smoking. like traps like most female swimmers. have the big shoulders. from a butterfly yeah those lats are. wild ones but I love that we're debating. this now as a country like there's going. to be a congressman that comes out soon. and goes hey cut off the hog if you want. to be if you want to be a female swimmer. you've got to cut off your dick yeah you. know I mean I kind of feel like. shouldn't there just be a baseline. Criterion on the women's team yeah like.

okay I understand you identified what's. Leah Thomas height and weight can you do. that she's not trying at all to look. like no like no trying she's done less. work on it than anyone I've ever seen. she literally just showed up put a. bathing cap on right and a onesie I'm. like I'm a woman that doesn't seem six. one her weight is not 132. no at least a. Dylan Mulvaney one is trying to be a. woman or they'll be it a psychotic one. person yeah what is the origin so.

annoying of this per of Dylan so Dylan. was an effeminate gay man who was I. believe on Broadway or something oh okay. a singer an actor or something like that. and then uh decided to transition and. then did this blog or something where. she was like every day she's like I've. been a girlfriend three days days so it. started during coven but you can see. what real effort looks like here yes she. for sure loves it she loves me I mean. some of these guys she's trying she's. trying some of these guys that. transition especially like in their 50s.

and 60s you're like yeah. you got to put it into another gear like. this is not there's something about. sitting down with your kid and going if. you're gonna transition you gotta try. you gotta try like this family will. stand behind you but you gotta try yeah. you gotta get a [ __ ] you gotta get tits. you gotta look good nails done you got a. makeup hair done I would actually say. the you know some people when they're. aging you're like hey you know just age.

right with the face but older dudes who. are transitioning I would say start with. the facelift get yourself you have a big. old Basset Hound face you look like a. Droopy Dog that's true like I'm abroad. and you're like yeah it's like a [ __ ]. oil tanker worker it's uh like you gotta. pull this [ __ ] up shave off a lot of. your face Caitlyn Jenner did it she did. it late in life but her work looks. really because she spent the money to at. least like go I'm you know I'm trying to. like Caitlyn had I think the right type.

of this is the way to get people to get. on the side of trans people she. transitioned and then immediately said. I'm against gay marriage and I'm voting. for Donald Trump. immediately and that and by the way. that's exactly it yeah like I don't know. why the trans Community hasn't tried. that like just try try to be a little. more conservative like why are they not. trans people being like hey I like. [Laughter]. why aren't trans people being like.

actually the cops are of a vital. function in our society yeah yeah and I. like the cops like why aren't they You. Gotta Throw to get full equality you got. to throw some of your own people yes. under under the bus yeah especially when. they've already been long dead yeah so. for me if I wanted to move in like a. nice straight Community like you people. live in sure I would say something like. I'm sure a few of those people at. Stonewall were acting up yeah yeah you.

know what I mean a few of them needed to. I get it I get why they have so the. trans people have to like first of all. they merged with the fat people which is. better trans people came out and were. like they were like they're like fat act. and a lot of them are fat yeah they have. to clean it up because if gay men first. look like me they wouldn't have worked. gay men came out looking athletic better. than everyone sharp better and then. everyone eased into it and then they. accepted different types it came in but. like this idea that like people have to. it's like the Sam Smith thing people.

like oh people are so transphobic I'm. like you can't be like hey I'm. non-binary and I look like a plumber and. I'm wearing a panties yeah yeah how much. can Americans accept every trans person. should be super hot to begin with to. begin with let's roll out the hot ones. first yes you should you know what we. should all be fooled like you should be. like there's no [ __ ] way right so. really yeah and then be like oh wow get. us on board with that for a while yeah. and then introduce everything well so.

yeah so like the swimsuit edition. there's a trans lady on that one yeah. and she kind of works out that blonde. super hot super hot yeah there's a lot. of very hot trans people and we're we're. losing that which is sad and they. shouldn't [ __ ] with Bud Light I think. that was the big mistake yeah it was a. disaster don't do that it was a disaster. she's pretty blondely she's got big tits. no not this not this broad that's a. trans that is I don't know if it is but. the one that I know of that they. recently put her on is a blonde woman. okay big hands I think it's just like my.

perspective is like hey when you're when. you're like. I mean convincing no that's Kim Petras. she did the song with Sam Smith yeah I. mean this is the kind that's what I'm. saying I want I like to be to the point. where I go like oh I [ __ ] this chick. and then she pulls her dick out and I go. I guess I still will you know like that. that's exactly right you know that. fooled I want to be completely yeah you. want to be thrown yeah you want to be. thrown and I think that is the way to. get especially like if you're talking.

about part of the of the country being. transphobic you gotta [ __ ] right. really fool them you got a 100 because I. think people are afraid of teachers. turning their kids into 300 pound trans. Communists yeah baby you're not worried. about their kids being like hot trans. like if if if if literally you had a. meeting and went they're going trans we. can't stop it but they're gonna be hot I. know they're gonna be hot at least some. of the parents would be like hey yeah I. got a hot trans kid as opposed to like.

some fat disgusting trans commune well. same with the non-binaries if the. non-binary community weren't always. obese girls with purple hair yeah. piercings I might be more on board with. them too yes or if those obese girls. with purple hair started coming out and. going we don't need welfare get a. [ __ ] job you lazy piece of [ __ ] then. Republicans would start going uh yeah we. disagree with that they'd start using. the pronouns they'd be like we disagree.

with them uh they are making some. interesting points though we do feel a. social safety and it can lull people. into. I love Helix mattresses it gave me some. mattresses I put them in my house. everybody that visits loves them I'm. telling you right now. I I was skeptical. of the Helix mattress I didn't believe. in it and then they sent me one and I. was sleeping on it I'm like this is one. of the most comfortable things I've ever.

been on literally and all my friends. that visit my home. are all like dude what are those beds. and I'm like they're helix and like my. friends are so happy which is rare. because they're usually miserable bitter. people that have a lot of problems and. the resentments that have built up over. years of kind of being near do Wells and. you know failing and having near success. but I have a lot of very vicious and. angry human beings I'm near but the. sleep they have so much sleep and um.

there's no better way to test out a new. mattress and by sleeping on it in your. own home they offer a hundred night. trial 10 to 15 year warranty to try out. your new Helix mattress everyone's. unique everyone sleeps differently. that's why Helix has several mattress. models to choose from each design for a. specific sleep positions and feel. preferences I'm telling you. I love Helix it's like so amazing that I. get to even offer you this deal. they're offering 20 off all mattresses.

and two free pillows for our listeners. go to Helix sleep.com timd that's Helix. sleep.com slash Tim D this is their best. offer yet and it won't last long with. Helix better sleep starts now I mean so. true you guys have kids you have to. believe you have to have some hope for. the country right that's like something. that you guys have to have with kids. because you have to have a lot of my. friends go Tim your podcast is funny but. it's so dark sometimes that like you. know I have kids and I want to just. think of good thoughts and you know you. get lost in the hub because kids that's.

all kids are they give you hope kids are. all are nothing but hope yeah because. you just see you see them from being. this helpless thing right a blob that. can't do anything and then this progress. that happens and you see them their. personality shape and yeah like the. distress they're your distraction. actually from the Hopeless world that. you can also and you go like oh no. there's there's hope in this and them. but yeah I mean I wonder if my parents. ever saw me as hope.

it's just such an interesting thing to. think about like if my parents were ever. like well he's gay and uh he's on. cocaine he's stealing money he's getting. fatter and he's enthusiastically. supporting the Iraq War. um but he's our he's our Beacon of Hope. we love him he's hope. you know you know what I I did have this. thought yesterday. um when I was micro dosing on mushrooms. is that our generation the Gen X we're. so proud of how hard we are and how yes.

we were bullied and [ __ ] you and you. know [ __ ] this and that and then these. kids are all about acceptance and love. yeah and you're just like well that that. is a change for them it is a change who. knows how that's going to end up in the. real world how these kids are going to. fare creating society and doing things. but I don't know it does feel kind of. hopeful doesn't it it does I think a lot. of the changes that are happening are. positive and uh you know people. obviously being more kind and.

considerate of each other is is great. you know. that's not as fun well. the the worry is the concern is on on. you know the. how does that work see. a lot of that seems to be getting what. you want a lot of this culture is about. getting what you want this person called. me the thing I wanted to be called and I. feel this way because this person is. validating me instead of this idea of.

like that person should not affect you. 100 so I I understand that we're trying. to create a gentler World which is good. but I think. part of what we're doing is we're giving. people the idea that like their self. concept is reliant on other people and. isn't that Just an Illusion ultimately. like yes if even if you buy if you're. like oh everyone finally called me what. I wanted and you're like well you're. never like everyone's never going so.

right you got the people that you. interact with to do it so I guess you. just kind of formed your own reality. here yeah isn't it kind of an illusion. that you're gonna. have everyone in because that's not how. the world Works no people are gonna say. what they want to say they're going to. use terms they want to use yeah look. people are going to accept you or not. accept you and not accepting you is. actually kind of reality right it's like. reality it's like saying like I want to. get to the point where everybody likes. my stand-up or my podcast it'll never.

happen yeah so like you're just. it feels like a wasted effort in a lot. of way when you see somebody putting so. much energy into. use the right term for me it's exhausted. right it's an exhausting existence that. you have and it's annoying it's just. annoying like if you put it in your. [ __ ] email you know what I mean like. as your signature you're like and by the. way my pronouns are it's like. [ __ ] I don't even know you and. you're gonna start with that [ __ ] like. yeah I don't care and I wasn't. questioning it yeah I wasn't reading. your email like God I wonder what.

[ __ ] pronoun it's it's I it's part of. like I think everybody. is very very concerned with how they. appear yeah and I grew up with a lot of. people uh who who didn't care and they. there was a virtue and not caring yeah. they didn't care and I think that's. completely gone 100 so because the. Millennials came in and they were like. we're Strivers we're Achievers we like. ribbons and bows and we like to be told.

we're good and here's my college essay. and here's my these are my LSAT scores. my SATs and I'm at the right school with. the right people I have the right. internship it was very checklist type of. you know these striving kind of. insufferable exhausting careerist uh you. know driven kind of empty vessels that. needed to be filled up with approval all. the time all the time and I felt like. that was very exhausting and like that. to me is those are the people right now. who who are kind of manufacturing.

culture that's why like there's. everything's a BuzzFeed quiz or uh how. fatphobic you or were you racist to the. man on the train or whatever it is it's. like because people constantly want to. grade themselves and tell everybody how. good they're doing yeah right you know. and it came from that culture of like. wanting to be it's so funny sorry no and. it's also in. put it like okay if you go to a. bookstore here in Austin it'll be like. be inclusive. um or in San Francisco you'll see signs.

that are like end racism you're like. dude this sign doesn't need to be in. this city right put that sign in [ __ ]. Mobile Alabama yeah I mean like it's all. an echo chamber of like high-fiving each. other yeah if you put that sign in. Mobile Alabama the guns come out right. yeah because we have yeah but at least. it'll be changing it's also think about. it just think about those two words. could anything. could anything mean less. than end racism.

could anything have less of an action. plan than the words end rate like it. would it's so. completely divorced it's designed for. you to go right on and then move on yeah. there's nothing specific plan it's like. when Gary Vanier Chuck goes hustle and. you're like thanks there's nothing about. it it has any real world implication and. racism means nothing it means nothing.

stop it okay stop hating and also you. you always you're anyone who's nodding. at that like. they but they they're not racist to. begin with right and somebody who who is. racist is just reads that and goes oh. [ __ ] you I hate right right like these. Muslims it's not even they don't even. internalize that they're racist they're. like they're like they're like well I'm. not racist but I'm like the Koreans are. a problem yeah like it's never like you. know what I mean yes.

yeah. um so much garlic food I you know I take. like with with our kids and I know Tom. is always like that's an incorrect. thought Christina that's so [ __ ]. bizarre but I want to raise them more. Gen X than anything like just go out. there and be a tiger dude and my kids. are gonna eat your [ __ ] [ __ ] kids. alive yeah I thought you were gonna say. my kids are going to eat your [ __ ] well. they are I'm right here these boys I'm. showing them to where the clinic that. was wild she's like I'm raising them.

tigers and my kids are going to eat your. [ __ ] I'm like this is a very. interesting [ __ ] yeah heterosexual we. know this but yeah like guys we're gonna. know how to munch boxes yeah sure but I. don't I don't know I don't buy into all. this cultural stuff too I don't know. that it's real like you said it feels. very performative though doesn't it it's. all performative and everyone's gonna. kill each other. let me segue because I did write a book. and I want to talk about this on this. episode because I like both of you and.

and it's going to get better views than. the other ones. that's why I'm bringing it up now I. wrote a book and we'll Travis will edit. the uh uh the whatever graphic into the. thing and and you have a book yes which. is [ __ ] awesome I do and it just. actually came out in um don't show his. book show his book no no but there it is. there's there's Tim's mine just got. reprinted it just got the paperback. release just came out but this looks. awesome you're you're titled death by. Boomers how the worst generation.

destroyed the planet but first a child. this is an amazing title No it's it's. great and what it is is my father is 70. and my mother is God only knows where. she she may not be with us anymore but. what I wanted to do before they died was. just one more disgraceful moment yeah. like a head hung low moment where I. could share all these like horrific. stories uh from growing up with when I. love Boomers boomers are funny it's not.

a woe is me book yeah boomers are deep. selfish narcissistic monsters sent to. destroy the Earth they've destroyed. Society. um they are they view their children as. an obstacle and an impediment to their. own success for sure they uh were. jealous of their children they liked. when their children failed they set. their children up in many cases to fail. um they were hateful horrible people uh. they were. um completely divorced from reality they. have Tangled themselves up in conspiracy.

theories you could find them on Facebook. right now oh yeah you know it's like. they're as soon as they got technology. they used it to spread hate and Division. and fear. all they believe in is fear-mongering. and and dividing people they because. they believe that's how they benefit. they were the luckiest generation other. than the few of them who died in Vietnam. enough uh we've heard about that the. rest of them had Charmed lives with. great uh peace time and they were given.

and inherited this whole country and. destroy it and my my friend I mean my my. father you know when I told him I was. like an alcoholic I was like I was a. drunk and I didn't say I'm an alcoholic. but I said to him like I'm hanging at a. bar every night I'm drinking every night. and instead of saying like you should. get help my father goes son like an old. man bar has played a role in every. Dylan's life wow he goes your uncle. Tommy went to Buckley's I used to go to. a place called The Bitter ant like cool.

it was it they're so. like my father I was smoking cigarettes. 13 years old smoking cigarettes a front. seat of his car he let me smoke. cigarettes and he goes you know what's. good about you you never smoke him down. to the filter. he goes You Never Smoke him down to the. end he goes That's what's good about you. that's an amazing compliment for my dad. yeah so these are the type of things you.

got to internalize like that is what's. good yeah he's like it never spoke and. he goes That's what's good about you and. I threw him out the window and he goes. you know and that's like a picture like. you're like talking about what kids like. with their [ __ ] self-esteem comes. from and then they get to you because. I'm used to I didn't I do that's really. good yeah I never saw him down. well I did what the trans kids do now I. go if you don't let me smoke I'm gonna. kill myself.

that's what the trans kids do they go. you give me tits from out of here no I. would go you have to let me smoke so. they were getting divorced and my. father's like well he's just smoking a. pack of dick. it's not a big deal I spoke for years. and I would just smoke my grandmother. let me smoke at her house and my. friend's parents my friend Ryan's my. friend Ryan was dating a stripper he's. my friend is in jail now he was dating a. stripper and he's you know the like.

Indiana's Most Wanted she was on. Indiana's Most Wanted so like state. troopers came to the house once my. friend Ryan answered the door and like. they were like uh and they were like. doing identity theft they're doing bad. stuff and the the troopers were like. where is she and he goes I don't know. what you talk about they go listen if. you don't tell us where she is she. you're an accomplice so like again where. is she and he my friend just was there. like two seconds and then just looked at. the cops and went she's in the kitchen. and they come and they take this woman. out in cuffs and the Boomer parents are.

kind of unfazed yeah and literally that. night for dinner we're all sitting there. and his mother's like you know what I. want to do what about a condo in Naples. how about Naples Florida I mean it's. gorgeous the restaurants are great this. is after a woman had been taken out of. the house in handcuffs they were so. crazy so the book is just a collection. of like these stories of these crazy. people that boomer generation is about. like looking at a problem and be like.

can we get out of this right now and. then just change topic yeah it was never. about like I feel like that's because. they were raised Yeah by real [ __ ]. neanderthals at least emotionally yeah. you think about it like a boomer is. raised by someone born in like 1910 or. right right they had no skill set yeah. nothing given to them so no emotional. life no they're like dogs well Boomers. also have this very interesting. victimhood complex like they're always. aggrieved they're aggrieved like every.

time you're on the phone with one of. them like you know like my aunt for. example during covet she goes I hope. everyone gets this vaccine because I'd. like to do some trash traveling and I've. worked my whole life I'm like everyone's. worked their whole life yeah yeah. everyone's work they're home who hasn't. worked they're a whole lot like she does. I've worked my whole life like I'm like. everyone's worked their whole life you. crazy [ __ ] like of course they're.

[ __ ] but again it was all about her. she's like I'd like to travel what about. me what about me oh my God I just. remember what my dad liked about me yeah. because you know what's good about you. yes you're a girl but you don't talk too. much sometimes women that's nice that is. a nice comment see that's nice yeah I. like that on the filters you're not a. chatty broad yeah yeah yeah. my father would say things to me give me. this advice like we'd be in a car he'd. be like son never overestimate your.

value and then he'd go he goes what you. do someone else will do too he goes he. goes he would say things like that you. know like he would just have these like. oh there very like you know the thing is. about these these comments too is if you. were to ask your dad or your dad about. saying that they'd be like yeah what's. wrong with that right they're oblivious. to the fact what that means for me my. parents used to introduce the three of. us to people yeah and like I had two. older sister and younger sister and they.

would go my older sister's Maria they'd. be like this is Maria she's an a student. she's a great athlete she's creative she. dances she's like just like just full of. life she's this amazing kid and this is. Jane she's our baby she's adorable she's. sweet she's she's just the most the. cutest little sweetest girl and then. they would be like this is Tommy. he's nice. I go is that it like that's the end of.

the thing you were a man you had to. stand on your own exactly they were just. like well we we take care of the girls. yeah like you gotta yeah like you're I. was an only child that my mother used to. like call me in and go. she would call me and she said quietly. she goes I always wanted another child. and your father didn't give me another. child and I don't know if this marriage. is going to work out because I always. wanted another child I've just always. wanted more children yeah and he's.

denied me that and I want another child. and I would just sit there and go okay. thank you thanks for that I'd go all. right. so I love my mother and I do love my. mother but she was a horrible person but. also a lovely person yeah she was a. great person and the thing is that that. when we talk about our parents and we. criticize yes we criticize them from a. valid place yes but people are not. one-dimensional no so you can be like.

like my mom's crazy or horrible all. these things but that doesn't fully. Define her you still have this stuff we. used to swim she like she taught me how. to swim she was a swim coach and I swam. a mile in the bay when I was six and. Jesus Christ yeah she used to get all. the neighborhood kids and we'd all like. swim at like 5 a.m and she would like. train them how to be like good swimmers. and she was really good she was really. good with that she was really good like. an aquatic person yeah and she was like. very much committed to that and then I. was an actor and she was committed to. that from when I was like probably seven.

I started acting and I acted till I was. about 12. and she really tried and we. went and I take it I did. um I just never heard that big break. where it was like this changes your life. yeah and me and her went on a tour for. like four months with this touring. musical Annie Get Your Gun. and she and we would be on the tour bus. every night and then we toured with a. whole production and then yeah that they. put me in an amstell light shirt what's. better than that take a look at me and.

my dad right there look at his face I. was just I was singing song about. sucking [ __ ] right there. I was singing song about sucking dick. and the [ __ ] comes out of the dick. he was like this is you said this was an. Irish folk song. um the priest has a big guy. so but like you know she was with me for. that yeah and then I started doing drugs.

and she went insane so we went our. separate ways but we I still love her. she went a little nutty and I and I just. at 12 years old 13 years old I started. using cocaine and smoking weed and. obviously weed first I'm not nuts yeah. yeah but weed and blow and some Vicodin. and my friend's mother was a hooker and. sold his garage and we loved her she's. in the book we love them all did your. mom do drugs too never she did. over-the-counter drugs she would take. Sudafed I'd she would drink like. prevental cough syrup and tab she loved.

tab soda and prevental prevental cough. syrup oh okay and like Sudafed and like. she loves an over-the-counter cocktail. yeah to just keep her going yeah. she loved an over-the-counter time I. missed the acting by the way one of my. favorite things about getting a box of. Awesome from bespoke post every month is. how it sneaks up on you you forget that. it's coming and one day boom on your. front door the best box you'll open all. month filled with carefully chosen gear. from the best small Brands around the. world let's see what I got this month I. got some cool stuff uh in the Box for.

the outdoors gardening like a little. shovel and a hoe and I like that because. I like to get in with the flowers and. the plants no matter what you have going. on this spring box of awesome as you. covered from camping gear Essentials. cookout must-haves and drink game. upgrades box of awesome as collections. for every part of your life you want to. get this give it to somebody who's. moving to a new city going away to. college or whatever it's the gift that. literally keeps on giving because they. get it every month to get started take. the quiz at box of awesome.com your.

answers will help them pick the right. box of awesome for you they release new. boxes every month across a ton of. different categories each box is valued. at seventy dollars with each box of. awesome you're supporting small. businesses ninety percent of everything. that comes up in your box of hospice. from a small up and coming brand it's. free to sign up you can skip a month or. cancel any time okay 20 off your first. monthly box when you sign up at box of. awesome.com uh enter the code Tim Dillon. at checkout that's box of awesome.com. code Tim Dillon for 20 off your first. box box of awesome.com box of.

awesome.com code Tim Dillon at checkout. I love lawyers. submitting an injury claim with Morgan. and Morgan is so easy it's more like. using an app than hiring a lawyer I'm. telling you submitting a claim to Morgan. and Morgan is as easy as pretend you. didn't see that 5 PM email from your. boss they're America's largest injury. Law Firm they have 100 offices. Nationwide and more than 800 lawyers. with over 15 billion dollars recovered. from clients Morgan Morgan has a proven. track record of fighting to get you fair.

and full compensation I mean I was in. this car accident and I just said forget. it whatever I'll just deal with it. instead of going to Morgan and Morgan if. I had gone to Morgan and Morgan I would. have gotten my money because that's the. right thing to do. that's the reality if you're. I was in an accident and. it was very hard but it was it was. someone else's fault I think I made a. left from the right lane. and almost killed a sec we're gonna. we're buying Vicodin in a parking lot in.

uh Freeport New York doesn't matter. bygones but I still could have called. Morgan and Morgan because even though. she was injured she didn't help the. situation either she said make the left. that's kind of actionable go make the. left. um go to Morgan and Morgan 35 of all. fatal accidents occur between 6 p.m and. midnight. see what I mean. people age 25 to 34 have the highest. amount of drivers involved in car. crashes people aged 15 to 24 had the.

highest emergency room visit. due to car accidents it's so easy to get. in action I've been in five accidents. I've totaled five cars and I've left the. scene of three of them. but one of them I I was drunk and I. claim to not be. the other one it wasn't total I was able. to drive away this woman started. screaming at me and I drove my car away. from right I rear-ended her she got out. she started screaming and I just drove. around her and I drove really fast if.

you're ever injured you could check out. Morgan and Morgan their fee is free. unless they win hello. for more information go to. forthepeople.com Tim or dial pound law. pound 529 for the people.com law pound. 529 from your cell phone that's f-o-r. the people.com Tim from your cell this. is a paid advertisement I'm being paid. for this. yeah I did more of I did I did two. movies that bit Parts in two films that.

are coming out which is awesome that's. great. um one one it was Eli Roth movie called. Thanksgiving which is really cool that's. coming out and then there's another. movie that I'm hoping my scene's in I. imagine it will be I can't say what it. is it's kind of a a big deal movie and. the director yelled at me and said what. are you doing several times right but. then we eventually got to it but that's. the process. no he's like I don't understand what. you're doing he's like what the [ __ ] is. wrong with you oh [ __ ] he's like what. the [ __ ] is wrong with you and literally. next to me was the biggest one of the.

biggest stars of our era so wait. whatever without a podcast tough guy. Showbiz well how did you handle that. because it's so stressful so I mean I. don't even know if I can talk about it. let me talk about it a little let's talk. about it and then you guys can edit it. out if you no we're gonna talk about it. okay because it's not a big deal okay. okay I'm in the film. and it's it's. me and this very big director and this. very big. star. before we get to this did you where you.

just offered the part did you audition I. audition okay so you auditioned and you. got the part from that I get the part. okay they said it's gonna be like a. funny part okay okay maybe I have one. joke but it's not you know. I get to sat you don't get a script. every day because it's like super Hush. Hush you know so like then like they. come in they give me my lines and. they're like okay and you move the book. you slide the book across the table but. not too far extended side of the shot. put your hand on the book but don't. cover the title you deliver your first. line he's gonna open the door then he's. gonna hang up the phone you look at him.

you deliver your second line he. interrupts you then you wait not too. soon not too fast you deliver your third. line so high strength it's so high. strength I'm sitting there's 80 people. it's one of the biggest movies and I'm. sitting there and and a very very big. star who's like brilliant is in this. little room with me and then another. brilliant star is there this is the. first scene I've done in any film okay. the number one. so I'm like okay I'm trying to remember. like the first thing I'm all the things.

I'm like the book. [ __ ] Slide the book and [ __ ]. the book and I'm like I slide the book. and like so I kept getting a line wrong. and and the directors like kept telling. me the line he's like this is the line. and then I'm like okay and then he goes. he goes. I'm like all right I was like I was like. I think I said that last time he's like. you've never said it but maybe next time. you'll say it I'm like. but then he was also being rough with a. lot of the other people who are much.

better. okay so keeping rough with a lot of. people because that's his style and I. respect that I'm no Millennial I'm like. kick me in the face just make just put. by scene in the film because it did end. up good at the end so and I'm the draw. on this film. I'm the draw a lot of people are gonna. argue that it's the other two. I'll not saying who they are but I'm the. draw so wait at what point does he go.

what the [ __ ] are you doing he came up. to me and he goes hey hey what the [ __ ]. are you doing because I don't really. understand what's happening right now. he's like he's like he's like you. realize you have to do this the same. time every way right at the same time. every time this is like a [ __ ] movie. it's like I I don't get it he's like. he's like what is happening right now. and I'm like I'm really apologizing I'm. sorry I'm trying to do all the things. and whatever and and you know she was. very listen it was stressful but I I. like the pressure yeah it was really. good I I and he's a great director he's. made some of the greatest films ever I.

don't mind being. I don't think they'll do anything to me. here's I'll I'll tell you okay okay. the the movie. it's the Oprah Winfrey story. oh my God I believed you I was like not. uh dude I play Stedman no.

um. um it's it's a very famous. group of people come on get jealous. that's what I'm saying cut it yeah but I. don't want to cut if I say it I don't. want to cut it. all right all right all right all right. I'm gonna say and then probably not cut. it okay. oh my. God big that's big it's big.

we're gonna cut it we'll cut it out and. he was rough with other people he was. rough with everybody that deserved it I. deserve it and I will take it again. you can hit me. and but but it was very stressful it's. so stressful and Ruff with the big. Talent too oh yeah really because it is. what it is I mean I don't I don't mean. rough I don't want to say rough like. passionate everybody's passionate not no. one's saying anything wrong here. everyone's passionate and it's a. beautiful process well that's true.

because there are people that are. process is beautiful in comedy that will. say crazy [ __ ] to you but you know them. so well that you're like oh that doesn't. even face it was wild because you know. what. I I got it by the end to a good place. and that's what a good director should. do is to like make you better yeah and. that's right and I miss the acting and. I'm gonna do more acting and I liked it. and I and I'm you know I'm really. excited about it good and uh you know. I think I think I did a great job and I.

think at the end. in the beginning. was hard yeah but at the end I think it. all came together and that's what counts. have you been fired in Show Business. I've never been fired per se. from a gig I don't think. um like stand up yeah I don't think I've. been fired. I mean I was fired as a writer from. Chelsea Lately That was pretty horrible. yeah I mean that must be yeah but that.

was it and especially because I didn't. see it coming yeah it was one of those. where I never had a job that's why oh. really I never had a gig in comp like I. never had a job like I had stand up I. had the podcast uh I never had a writing. job I never had any of that well you're. the younger Jen yeah that stuff was kind. of out of style no like by the time you. were people were doing it I didn't want. to I didn't want to do it. um I never wanted to be realized I never. wanted to do it I did a few Pilots you. know I rode on a couple of Pilots yeah.

Central but I never once I got a taste. of it I was like I don't want and the. thing is the other writers they try to. sell you on it. so they're like yeah you should try to. do this and I was like know why there's. some semblance of security it's like I. can be a comic and be safe so they're. like indoor cats right like that's. that's why they're not truly funny. because they're not stand-ups well some. of them are really fun some of them but. they're not not they're not they're not. you're talking about on stage though. yeah but they're truly funny on paper no.

I I disagree I mean yes there are people. that are funny writers joke writers. obviously but like I don't know I don't. LOL a lot at like late night well yeah. but that's that's that gig I'm saying. there's hilarious writer comedy writers. that yes that do of course that write. amazing yeah comedy which but you're. talking about for the specific show yeah. yeah you know what I'm saying is that. like some of those writers they would. also some of them always had like a. little bit of stand up in there and. they're like what do you do and you go I. do stand up and they're like you really.

think it's gonna. well it's so rare I think you know when. you see all the people that are in the. business a lot of them become writers. yeah I just felt if I found it kind of. boring. and I thought stand up was more exciting. in the room it was more exciting yeah so. much better. Freedom you have freedom even when. you're not moving a single ticket it's. like there's something about the live. performance that is like yeah so much it. was just more fun and thrilling and like. it kept you going whereas like writers.

you know have these amazing lives. um but I think you're more you know some. of them are it's it's I guess more. exciting than I think or more. exhilarating I just felt like for me I. liked being out there and doing my own. thing yeah and I have to admit my ego. hated it when the joke I wrote would be. said by somebody else on camera right oh. that was mine right I want that joke. well they're striking now. and we're gonna see what's happening I.

think it's Gonna Last a minute it's. going to last a long time I am behind. the scenes putting it all trying to help. because I'm very good friends with David. zazlov Ted sarandos all of the streamers. are like my best friend like yeah but I. support the writers but my best friends. are the billionaire streamers so it's. like weird because they're my best. friends. but I see the writer's point but like. I'm like such I'm very close with like. these people that I love like I love.

these billionaires like I literally Love. David Zazzle he's like my best friend. and like. so like sometimes it's so weird because. he's like why are you supporting them. and I'm like I'm David like. I don't know like they're hungry and. he's like are they and I'm like I don't. know I'm in such a hard spot you know. what I mean are they I I yeah I'm in a. hard spot because like I see them. picketing yeah and I want it I'm not in. the WTA right.

and I want to get out and I want to you. know march with them I want to march. with them yeah but I'm in the car often. with a CEO of a streaming company. going to lunch and we're talking about. how to kill those people yeah we do that. most of our lunches we talk about how to. get rid of them sure. and here's the thing with AI it's like I. think ai's scary but I also like think. it's exciting to like have a robot do. all of that work.

and and like have all these people that. are doing it now like maybe die. that to me is like a new that to me is. like a new thing it would be so amazing. if one of these CEOs uh with the car. yeah into one of the picket Lines. by accident by accident it was a total. accident well I think I think what's. gonna have to happen is you're gonna. have to have these we're gonna have to. have a meeting of the minds where. everybody sits down and basically irons.

out something that everyone can live. with because. we can't keep going on like this. um no one in America cares about this at. all no no not one human being cares. about this I barely care news barely it. registers yeah. um La doesn't need to take any more hits. it's taking a hit the weather this. winter was not good right the rain rain. hail sleet bad snow. very bad.

all of the good Comics have left Los. Angeles most of most of not all of a lot. of yeah okay. um and. really the two Comics left in La it's. like the same guy and the two people. that are fighting for dominance of the. LA comedy scene right now are literally. indistinguishable from each other which. is weird and it's me and Matt Rife. [Laughter]. it's the same guy. and we're we're talking about the same.

things and so what it really is is this. fight between these two brothers who are. the same yes to try to. try to reach these people Jesus Christ. is this what Matt looks like yeah that's. what I look like too it's these cameras. you don't have nice cameras that's the. problem is these [ __ ] cameras. Rogan invested all the money in deer. antlers and not the cameras because. without the camera no but we're very.

similar we look alike we're the same. type of guy and it's weird it's weird. and it's just both of us in L.A like. fighting for like who's gonna do it. that's the photo oh is that a lion. that's the photo that where it's like so. it's hard to that's what La is right now. it's just me and this guy yeah fighting. for Supremacy yeah. being the same you know what I mean sure. my crowd is all women because they're.

brilliant yeah. because they're very smart they're. indicator. the to the takes and I did a show at me. Shane Mullen and Big Jay who's in Arena. all women came out in Hershey. Pennsylvania all women who voted for. Joseph mide that's my audience women who. voted for Joseph Biden how's that.

do you uh do you and Matt get along or. is it pretty contentious no it's we we. get along because it's like. but it's contentious because it's always. tough to see your doppelganger. all the time and it's like it's like. it's like no Matt's actually an awesome. dude it's a really sweet guy and he's. funny and awesome but. um and we do look different you do. so that's that's that's good I think. that's good it is so cute he's very he's.

very attractive from a from a movie or. is that like a cake but I dated her and. let me tell you something about Kate. Beckett's shell you go to dinner with. her I mean you gotta fill the. conversation. oh. you try to talk to her about the Ukraine. you got another thing coming. she's got nothing. it's a joke we're all kidding oh no oh.

my God is this real this is. yeah run this is like there's this. comedy people are now this is truly. [ __ ] reality TV show yeah well it is. listen. are getting laid I think that's cool. it's. it's cool comedy shouldn't get too cool. not too cool not too cool it's not good. no it loses Colin Quinn said it the. comedy gets too cool it always loses for.

sure it makes a lot of sense yeah for. sure that's why you gotta like you gotta. kind of lean you know we all want to be. seen a certain way look good and all. this stuff but you got to kind of lean. into your flaws a little bit if you're a. comic well lean into Humanity yeah I. think humanity is important I think. technology is obviously very important. but I also think that like the job of a. comic is to like kind of remember that. human beings exist yeah you know what I. mean yeah isn't that profound yeah. that's really good isn't that profound.

that's the type of [ __ ] I say that's the. dumbest [ __ ] but it sounds good like. I'll be like the job of a comedian is to. remember that human beings exist you. know. no but you're right because it's all. it's those little things right like. taking a [ __ ] but we don't get. vaccinating yourself we don't get to be. the coolest that's something no you you. can be kind of cool but you're just kind. of like yeah cool enough like I want to. hang out with that guy he's cool but you. don't get you're not [ __ ] like Rogan. is very cool it's cool but but what I'm.

saying is that. Keanu Reeves in like John Wick yeah. that's not a comedian that's that's. that's another that's the coolest like. Anthony Bourdain was pretty cool yeah. but he wasn't a comic right no no no no. I'm just like cool in general like who's. the coolest I gotta be honest with you. and you're probably gonna disagree with. this as a mother I like Casey Anthony. I like her free spirit she's cool I like. that she has a free spirit I like like. look at get her out now let's see what. she looks like like I like I like her.

that smile right there in the second one. yeah. and that's in court yeah yeah I like her. I like I think it's I like strength sure. I like female strength 23 photo of her. like do we see I wonder what she looks. like what is that expression I mean. that's like oopsie she's like playing. koi there's less of a smile now yeah. well because she's in this is what she's. well she's right now this in that photo.

right there she just remembered she. killed her daughter. that's always a rough moment that right. there where is Casey Anthony that's like. that photo she goes you know oh [ __ ] I. mean when you're a kid and they take. photos in school and they're like. they're like thinking then right now. they're like hey you killed your. daughter and then snap look at that. Disney photo from TMZ look at her she's. at Disney World this is what I think is. so cool about her go go up it's the. middle one on top so she somebody got.

her at Disney World she's put on a few. pounds she's looking at kids toys in. Disney World this is what I like about. her she's not letting you shame her. because she's out there going I'm living. my best life she's still a mother going. back to she's still a mother she's still. a mother yeah like to shift kids again. no no but but she likes to consider her. a mother. at heart yeah she's a famous mother can. you imagine going to Disney without the. kids Jesus Christ she's doing it Disney. World I think in case Anthony's defense.

is really fun for people of all ages and. I think that's what now I'm against that. I've made fun of it but like I think. she's really getting the most out of it. well people like to get loaded at Disney. world is what I hear there's like five. bars there or something what is it she's. really cool who's that guy. I think that's her father or maybe not. that looks cute I bet she's fun to date. though. here's the thing with her she's just fun. yeah she's a good time anyone who'd do.

something like that is also a game for. other [ __ ] you know what I mean oh dude. I mean she'll dine and dash exactly. exactly. yeah exactly hey the waitress hasn't. gotten our check why don't we get out of. here she's like that seems inconsiderate. you're like Casey she's like all right. exactly and there's no like there's no. sexual favor you can ask that she's. gonna be like I'm not that kind of girl. you're like she's not saying no to anal. if she put her daughter in a bag exactly. there's absolutely no way that's.

happening exactly and I do appreciate. her I mean there's something about her. and I hope she becomes an actress or. something because I think she's got a. lot to give. I want to thank both of you because you. know you are you're so funny what you've. done here is so crazy impressive with. all of the different podcasts you guys. have thank you it's insanely amazing to. watch you know it's like it's it's. amazing and and it's just amazing and. I'm down here doing Mothership which I. gave Joe Rogan the money to open we.

don't have to talk about it we don't. have to talk about he didn't have any. money and he called me and he said do. you have money and I said I have a. little bit and I I wrote him a check to. open that club that was super nice here. yeah it's really nice of me and I don't. bring it up a lot yeah but I bring it up. to humanize him because he did not have. any money he doesn't have any money it's. all fake it's fake buddy so. um uh but no it's it's a it's amazing. like what you guys have done thank you. thanks it's uh it's been fun to watch.

you uh you know it was one of the people. who I was like oh man just stay on the. path you know like keep doing what. you're doing there's not like you. already made it so you just have to like. only way you can uh [ __ ] it up is by. like stop doing what you're doing you. know no we're gonna keep doing stuff. we're gonna keep trying to be funny uh. you know we're gonna keep uh doing all. the things that I guess you know people. do until there's a new thing yeah and. then we'll I'll try that we'll all try. that the new thing but you um you were.

supposed to be at the the CPAP machine. the new movie. um uh with Bert Kreischer that um yes. and I and I wasn't at it you weren't at. it and it because I'm doing a lot of. work right now with orphans in the. Ukraine oh I didn't know that a lot of. Orphans in the Ukraine are being shipped. to Austin Texas. and I'm I'm making sure that to get. raised in good Christian uh families and. I've been working with a lot of the or. uh orphaned Ukrainian orphan but I I I.

love Bert I hope the movie does well I. hope all the movies do well all the. comedy movies me too. um. Sebastian's movie everybody that's. putting movies out it helps all of us it. really does to have. um to have people go out there and see. comedy movies and I also hope that you. spend more time in Austin than L.A come. on man well I spent a lot I mean I spent. well everything's a dump except Palm. Beach and the Hamptons that's the. reality yeah that's just a reality you. go to Palm Beach reality is real money. every now and then real money is east.

coast it's Greenwich Connecticut. Manhattan Palm Beach like why do you. think Epstein didn't live in L.A they. never went to LA because Lane Maxwell is. never in La yeah the top human. traffickers consistently choose the East. Coast the top. um and that's a reality but I spent a. lot of time here this is my residence. and I'm here and I love it okay I am. here yeah you are you know I pop in and. pop out and and it is something that I I. I was born here and I was raised here. okay so it's a different experience.

I'm a ranch hand and I I believe in the. you know whatever the hell is going on. uh but I like it it's a beautiful place. uh Toms Christina pazinski thank you. your mom's house podcast the two bears. podcast with Tom and also say can I say. this yeah of course uh my new special. Sledgehammer comes out Fourth of July on. Netflix. Sledgehammer 4th of July on Netflix oh. I'm in Toronto and Winnipeg finally. September 6th and 7th come see me there.

yeah yeah I'm stoked and where my mom's. at which um have you done that when you. 've done that I should do it yeah I. would love to have you and we could talk. schizoom I'm a mother yeah. um the the pre-order the book the code. is going to be in the YouTube. description and a bunch of other places. on my social media probably my Instagram. bio it's going to be a lot of fun I'm. excited for that thank you guys I really. appreciate it thank you so much. I.