Tim Walz The Funnel Cake Dad | The Tim Dillon Show #404

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim. Dylan show thank you for tuning in. again I was at the Variety uh young. Hollywood power impact Summit last night. Hollywood young Power. Players honoring the young. Hollywood impact list of. power I don't know what it was my one of. my really good buddies was getting. honored. there and uh it was at the proper hotel.

in Santa Monica I don't ever go to these. things and there was a couple of people. there that noticed me that came over to. me they're like wow it's you're here um. and uh I'm not really invited to these. things they invite it's like ticktockers. and you know usually I could get invited. like if I wanted to I could get invited. but it's not um I'm being honored at the. Young um Power Summit Mor Lago next week. the young power impact. Awards but.

uh I was there and uh look Addison Ray. was there my co-star in Thanksgiving. with the Madonna top I saw. her I was there and. um Sabrina Carpenter is this massive uh. pop star which I don't know I don't uh. I'm a I'm aware of her name but I didn't. know about too much about the music but. I know that.

every time I'm in an Uber I ask someone. who is this and it's always her. invariably it's sabrinaa Carpenter and. his songs always kind of. [Music]. like it's very kind of relaxed and you. know and she looks like she was 3D. printed to be a pop star I mean she's. beautiful and she's honored she gets the. first award um and again I I'm unaware. of what these Awards signify apparent.

just if she didn't know things were. going well with 30 million Instagram. followers um they're reminding her the. people at variety are reminding Sabrina. Carpenter that things are going well and. she gets up and she goes hi she's like. hi she's. like um thank you to every like everyone. and like she thanks her you know. whatever and then she's like thank my. team for working hard and then she goes. and thank me for working hard and then.

she goes everybody follow your dreams. and then gets off the. stage. um this was being hosted by Matt friend. the impressionist um uh who I used to. hate but we don't I don't hate him. anymore. where I we I gave him a hug we had like. a misunderstanding and we didn't you. know we didn't like each other but you. know as I get older I can only hate a. few people at a time I used to be able. to hate so many people and and I.

disappointed by now that I I don't have. it in me I don't have the energy it's. like you know people say about Trump. they're like he's getting older he's all. kind of he's off message he doesn't have. you know he's not doing as many rallies. as he used to it's like give him a break. I mean the guy is he's been I mean how. old is Trump 74 no I think he's older. than that I think he might be. 76 probably 78 78 give this guy a break. he's out there he's doing it I mean love.

him or hate him at. 78 I'm 39 and my my ability to hate. people in large quantities is is not. there anymore I used to take time out of. my day to hate people I would I would I. would make it a a point to sit somewhere. at a bar and eat lunch and hate someone. for 45 minutes.

and think about what a terrible person. that is and and and imagine scenarios of. horrible things happening to them I. can't do it anymore I just can't do it. I'm. weak I'm weak so I saw Matt friend who I. had a misunderstanding. with the impressionist Matt friend who's. old comedian as well I'm not saying that. in a negative way I'm not trying to. start a feud again and we didn't have a. feud it was just we didn't like each. other but he was a nice kid he hosted it. he had a rough set it was rough there's.

no way to win in that room but he lost. and it was because again it's not his. fault kind of maybe a little bit of it. was. but there it was just rough there it's. ticktockers and aspiring ticktockers so. imagine that imagine that group of. people people that haven't quite yet. found their footing on the Tik Tock app. people who are trying that out you know.

what Tik Tock is with the dance they do. that people that are trying to figure. that out and there's some young actors. there everybody's very attractive it's. La it's on a rooftop. and he's up there and it's just it's. he's going down hard it's going it's. rough it's tough Sabrina carer goes who. hired him I was standing in the back but. it's not his fault really because I mean. who would want that gig I mean if I had. that gig it would have been it would. have been bad in a more entertaining way.

but it would have not been. good but I've seen see is the thing that. comedians do they want these people to. like them you you will lose great. comedians they take these gigs they host. these award shows and stuff because they. want these people to like them and the. only one I've ever seen two of them. Chris Rock Letterman they both killed. but Ricky Jas cuz he didn't give a [ __ ]. and he was just totally. free but it's hard because you it's.

these people for the most part do not. need any comedy they're 21 they're hot. they're millionaires there is not any. comedy that these people need there is. not one moment in their life that is not. fantastic every moment of every day is. fantastic maybe they get a little. sad occasionally from time to time.

thinking about a past relationship or an. aunt they like who died in a car. accident but it's so shortlived none of. them need comedy so there's all these. hot young people standing on a roof some. of them are millionaires a lot of them. aren't a lot of them are not but they. think they are so they it doesn't matter. they think they are because they're. standing next to millionaires so even. though they have no business and no. money they're near people that do.

they also don't need com and then you're. you're up there and Matt's a Unreal. talent in terms of Impressions he can do. anyone right but he's up there and and. uh he's trying to entertain these people. and they're just not okay we don't have. to please um but they're just it's it's. it's tough I felt for him because uh I. have been in similar situations not they.

would never can you imagine that variety. young Hollywood and anomal they would. never never never have me host something. like this it's not at all something that. I would ever. be but I've hosted corporate events. before and I've been in situations where. it's not good um this is like James. Charles is there and it's that crowd. it's the like YouTube crowd and then.

like young. actors and their representatives and. like a lot of like. La kind of plastic. people and and then you're trying to. make them laugh and my friend Marcel was. a really funny comedian got honored and. it was nice he brought his parents and. his father we talking about Maduro. because they're you know Hispanic and. uh I don't know how I feel about Maduro. everyone keeps you know I don't know. maybe he lost but he seems to want the.

job there's something about him I know. he's a dictator but there's something. about him that I find Charming I like. the ring I find him a little charming. and I I'm just saying that and I'm I. know that people will get angry with me. for whatever. reason but I'm. saying that there's something shouldn't. we find the good in people.

that's the question really yes it's a. coup and he's refusing to leave and the. military is killing everyone I get it I. get it I've read the news but shouldn't. we find the good what about a message of. positivity that's what all the. ticktockers are always putting out there. into the world that's what all these. social media people are always putting. out there into the world a message of. positivity and this these marcelo's. family they were talking to me and. they're right you know behind the scenes. I think the US is kind of cool with him.

publicly they're like this is an outrage. but I think behind the scenes I think. they're like texting Madura like what. whatever you know what I mean they don't. care they're just like stability oil. whatever money like I think outwardly. they're like you you're a thief but. behind the scenes they're like hey we've. worked with worse we'll work with you. it's. fine and he's not leaving right he's got. the military correct this is the country.

of Venezuela if you aren't aware people. out there that are listening to this. show but I imagine they are aware. because everyone who listens to this. show is a [ __ ]. genius speaking. of. politics we have a new end uh a new. entrance into the race for the White. House. and I'm not talking about Doug.

mhof uh con wait I'm sorry Kamala Harris. I was going to say conal Lisa Rice kamla. Harris's uh husband who they lock up in. a house in Brentwood and he struggles to. get reservations at La restaurants and. calls the White House probably to try to. get him in this is my guess I don't know. but Doug mhof is this you know this kind. of uh you know nothing guy who is mar.

and we'll spend the next four years if. she wins going I'm the president's. husband and then like uh you know. Hostess will go yeah okay man rela we. don't have anything I told you that I. mean look at this guy Doug mhof he's a a. lawyer can you kind of. perhaps I'm not talking about him I'm. talking about funnel cake dad funnel. cake dad the king of the Great Lakes Tim. wals the. Minnesota folky. funnel cake dad who's here to finally.

get everybody from. America out on the lake for a nice day. of grilling and [ __ ]. communism no uh Tim wals is and I am by. the. way I'm gonna disclose all my biases I. hate Minnesota I hate Lakes I don't like. freshwater because you the brain eating.

amoeba but other things I don't like the. Great Lakes culture I don't like how. Frozen and cold it gets I don't like how. radical they are even though they're. boring they're incredibly. boring people that sit at Diner counters. but when you talk to them they're. radical. Psychopaths and I've always found that. dichotomy. disturbing Tim Walls they wanted Camala.

to pick Josh. Shapiro and she didn't because he's a. big and they couldn't have it we know. and he also did cover up a murder one of. his donors it it doesn't matter I don't. care I don't care it doesn't matter it. doesn't M they all do it they all do it. they all do. it if aanka had killed someone Trump. would have covered it up too probably. right I mean this is what people do what. are you get you you someone kills.

someone you're not going to help them. that's the measure of a man is if your. friend kills someone or your donor kills. someone will you prosecuted it or will. you prosecute it as Josh Shapiro that's. the measure of a man so Shapiro is a big. Jew which I have no problem with but the. Democratic Rank and file hates they. don't like them and the Democratic party. is a collection of interest groups so uh. you know that all kind of hate each. other so they're trying to win Michigan. and if they have this big you know Josh.

Shapiro comes out he's Zionist and he's. like Israel Israel what happens uh you. know the people in. Michigan start getting angry they put. the schwarma down and they start going. nuts so Camala Harris has a real problem. trying to balance the Muslims and the. Jews okay so Josh Shapiro everybody in h. get a picture of Josh Shapiro Josh. Shapiro looks like they 3D printed a.

Jew which again I have no problem with. but he is a very sharp put together a. like his brother's a big showrunner in. Hollywood this is the. guy he's he's the real deal he's not. like me being gay or Candace Owens being. black this guy's legitimately Jewish. like Zionist Real Deal out in front. what's good for Israel is good for us. and you better like it BB net who needs. another trillion put it on a truck like.

Jay Shapiro is out there in front and. kamala's got a she's got a twerk around. the issue of this it's a big issue for. the Democrats the Israel the Palestine. the Gaza which no one's talking about. anymore but it is terrible and getting. worse and all of those things and I. mean you know I I I don't talk about it. every episode but we talked about it a. lot we talked about it constantly and. what's happening over there is a is a.

humanitarian crisis and. disaster and Israel doesn't seem to have. any plans for post-war Gaza the war's. still going on there's famines there's. all these things right now the. Democratic party's been taking a lot of. heat from the young people on this issue. young people do not want to back. Israel at all costs so you can't have. Josh Shapiro out. there um. talking about the importance of the you.

know unending commitment to Israel so. what do you what do you got to do who do. you find you get Tim Walls Tim Walls is. a Great Lakes is isn't it the Great. Lakes Minnesota or am I wrong am I right. MH yeah Lane of 10,000 lakes I mean scum. of the earth up there Land of 10,000. Lake can you imagine living somewhere. with 10,000.

lakes so this Frozen abominable. snowman uh Tim. wals and I would respect him if he said. we burn down Minneapolis and if we lose. we'll burn down America I would respect. that if he went out and said you damn. right we had riots and they're not. January 6th is going to look like a kids. birthday party compared to what we'll do. we will burn it all down uh so they get. funnel cake dad funnel cake dad is the.

folksy history teacher with no money. that the Democratic party thinks this. guy should be the president because he's. completely broke he's like a character. of Jed Bartlett from The West Wing he. lives in um uh the Land of 10,000 lakes. and the Democratic party kind of likes. him because he's kind of keeping it. together up there uh you know because. the people in that area are to Riot as.

they did um you know he called in the. National Guard but he waited a day he. let everybody get it out of their system. before he called in the National. Guard um all of these a lot of these. riots were uh you. know things that he and his wife. expressed some level they kind of. enjoyed these things get up my friend. Gwen wals my new friend Gwen walls now.

let's. remember take us back when was this this. was 2020 yeah right after Floyd right. after George Floyd tragically lost his. life you have riots in uh Minnesota. riots all over the place all over the. place and of course funnel cake Dad is. he doesn't know what to do of course he. would like to go sit down the Riders and. give them a talk you know this is the. kind of guy he is right he'd like to sit. down he imagines that he walks into the. middle of a riot while people are.

burning everything down and he goes. there's a better way and then he does. some folksy crap and everybody goes. funnel cake dad is right we could burn. everything down but instead we should. get involved in the electoral process or. whatever so funnel cake dad has these he. imagines that's going to happen for a. day and then the next day calls in the. National Guard now his wife who's of. course mentally unwell um uh and and by. the way they have no money I found this. out which makes me I it I don't know and. supposedly they have like nothing they. own like no nothing they have no stocks.

bonds whatever like they have nothing. they they don't have any money they've. never tried to make any money that's. certainly interesting so that's not. their Vice what are they doing but so. let's take a look at Gwen walls talking. about how much she enjoyed uh these. riots I would say those first days you. know when there were riots I could smell. the burning. tires and um.

that was that was a very real thing and. I kept the windows open for as long as I. could because I felt like that was such. a touchstone of what was what was. happening see this is what is. interesting about these people they're. deeply sick and this is all the Great. Lakes PE there's something I know a lot. of these Minnesota people I because a. lot of them do standup comedy and. they're all very pale and they're very. sick and they they move into cities all. across America America to do usually.

very Bland and uninteresting standup. comedy and they're very sick and they're. pale and there's something wrong with. them most of them all of them and when. you hear something like that she goes we. left the windows open to breathe in the. smell of the tires it was so. real these people and listen not that. jie Vance is out there killing it but he. is he is uh slightly doing better with. his press conf is I mean Wales got out.

of the National Guard before they sent. him to Iraq also JD Vance went to Iraq. as a military reporter stop this. competition about who is more has stolen. Val nobody in this race has been in the. military not Trump not KLA nobody that. will ever lead this country has anything. to do with the military let's cut it out. right now we expect our people to Sherk. their service we expect that in fact if. they don't we're like why didn't you get. out of it we expect it so let's cut it.

out J Vance was there I didn't see. combat and he's are like writing. articles and then Tim walz right before. they send the National Guard to Iraq. decides he's going to drop out and run. for Congress so he can be funnel cake. Dad and tell everybody how important it. is uh you know to uh play soccer with. the Somali or whatever he's telling. people to do in the. field uh now if you see those Somali you. get out of soccer ball you play soccer. with them they're just like us and maybe. they are they might be some of them. might not be I don't know but um Gwen.

walz this psychopath who's very very. strange as a human being because that's. an odd recollection of an. event that you wanted to smell the. burning. rubber of of a of a civil. breakdown it's a societal breakdown and. you wanted to smell it now whether. that's true or not I don't know but. she's chosen that is her memory of the.

event now she doesn't say anything about. now obviously I've only watched a few. minutes of this but and we'll continue. this but because I don't want to say. what she did or didn't say until we but. so. far she said I I don't know what she you. know this was her most. uh this was her most memorable thing. about that uh time was that she was. sitting there with the uh windows open. so she could smell the burning rubber of. the. the TIR big they like this their lives.

are so boring they like these riots and. stuff they get off on this up there you. know what I mean how many times can you. roll into the diner and Order pancakes. before you just like smelling burning. tires and this is what worries me about. them I would have been a little more. comfortable with Josh Shapiro covering. up murders and getting Hollywood back on. track but we have fle cake dad and his. uh crazy wife and everyone's going at at. Tim Walls because.

he had a. DWI DUI DUI driving Under the Influence. which I don't care about you know I've. driven Under the Influence a lot I found. that it didn't really obstruct my. driving I think I think the whole dewe. thing to be honest is overblown um. Governor Tim wals has said in past. campaigns that he wasn't actually drunk. when he was pulled over for driving. under the influence in. '95 but a court transcript tells a. different story a strong odor of. alcoholic beverage was detected emitting.

from Mr wal's breath and. person this is the type of thing. listen a guy like this who has he's he's. not driven by money I don't know what. else he's driven by we don't know if. he's driven by [ __ ] we don't think he. is he's going to throw back a few. there's nothing wrong with that he's in. the Land of 10,000 lakes he looks cool. as [ __ ] there he kind of looks cool. there in his mug shot.

he's probably an insufferable. guy when you when you you know but so is. Vance probably if you had to sit down. for a dinner with either him or JD Vance. Trump would be a lot of fun kamla would. be fun because she'd be drunk and. giggling and you. know it would be like having dinner with. your friend's. mom wals and Vance dinner is a nightmare. dinner is a nightmare with wall Sor Vans. they lecture you they sit there and tell. you uh what needs to happen and how.

important they are uh they allude to. themselves in the third person you know. probably and then I said Tim you got to. leave the National Guard and be a. [ __ ]. senator now you got to remember. Minnesota is the land of ilhan Omar. right it's the land of all of these you. know it's a very so he's a very left guy. he's a very Progressive guy and kamla. likes him because. uh she feels like he's going to uh.

establish her bonafides. with funnel cake dads and uh uh you know. burning tire moms all across the country. these are the progressive people funnel. cake dad and uh burning tire mom. and yeah I just don't love that region. governing the country but I don't love. the advanc region either of of the. people who what I mean put their. breakfast cereal in a pipe and smoke it. I don't think great to have either I I I.

you know Cala is from Brentwood and. Trump is in Palm Beach in New York and I. think if it's you know if we're just. going to go by regions I I find this. Lake Region disturbing I do I and it's. it's it comes down to that it comes down. to I kept the windows open so I could. smell the burning tires and it just felt. so important for me to do it felt like. such a moment and I by the way so many. online businesses right now are. struggling and trying to figure out how. to make a profit and one thing that I've. always said about e-commerce is you want.

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Olympics it's depressing me it's. depressing me because I've been nothing. but negative about the Olympics because. I feel that they are pointless and. they've they've passed their Prime and I. don't like. them um and so many people are watching. and I've had to come to grips with this. I've had to accept the reality that. people are actually I don't believe it I. don't believe this but apparently people. are watching people are getting sick in. the they swam in the San in the river in. Paris and like a few people were.

hospitalized it's funny with climate. change now how it's going to be tough to. do the Olympics anywhere because. everything's so. filthy that people are just going to be. hospitalized from jumping in a river. now it's going to be fun when they have. it in LA in four years and it's just. burning it's burning down and like you. know you have uh the black smoke from. the fires like you know rising up so you. you can barely see the guy pole vating. cuz he's doing it through black smoke.

from the. fire I mean Claire Michelle Olympic. triathlete who fell ill after swiming. sane River says a virus made her sick. yeah well the river is disgusting and. the bacteria levels are they're they're. you know nobody should be. swimming in that River bacteria levels. in the long polluted river have been in. flux during the games causing test swims. ahead of the triathlon events to be. cancelled and the men's Triathlon to be. delayed by a day or IED said that the. water quality test done by the day of.

the individual Triathlon showed very. good levels of fecal bacteria eoli and. entra coli so basically we're we're. there this is another reason we're going. to be up we're going to have to scrap. the Olympics because it's just too. disgusting we're going to be watching. Olympic athletes get hospitalized and. die because they're going to be swimming. in contaminated Rivers it's another. reason we're going to have to move the. Olympics completely indoors and probably. online just do it.

online part of the reason that all these. cities feel dead is because more life. now happens on the internet than in real. life so it's not so much that these. cities uh are uh uniquely decaying it's. that all across the country and the. world most of what drives the national. conversation or even what drives. people's specific. individual conversations is the internet.

things that they see online things that. they read online videos they watch. online so these cities feel like they. are decaying and I think part of it is. because any physical location doesn't. matter nearly as much as it did five 10. 20 years ago I just I was a member at. this thing called the San Vicente. bungalows in Los Angeles it's like a you. have to be recommended to get in and all. that I just canceled my membership.

because it's just pointless it's $5,000. for the. year what you get for that is you get a. membership into this little building in. West Hollywood where you can go have. lunch you know Megan and Harry are. members and you go there and you have a. breakfast meeting or a lunch meeting you. can go for dinner or cocktails or. whatever when you go in with someone who. isn't you who's a non-member they put a. sticker on the camera of their phone. because they think that that person is. an animal and is just going to start.

taking out their phone and if they see a. famous person they're just going to. start taking photos of. them now obviously that isn't true but I. mean look at this this is a. dump this is a dump and my agents got me. into this they're like we got you into. the San ventti Bungalows like I was. supposed to go thank you I I had the. membership for a few months I said I'm. out and you know why you know why none. of this matters anymore because everyone. is seeing everyone online if you've got. something going on people know about it.

there's no whisper campaign at the that. originates at the San ventti Bungalows. okay the Soho house all these things you. people are members of they're all. pointless if you enjoy them keep your. memberships I'm not telling you not. they're fun you meet people get get laid. you get drunk oh that guy's got good. Coke I'm not telling you how to live I'm. saying they are nothing in real life. they mean nothing it's dilatant it's. people that want to be around creative. people who aren't even creative it's the. iry of it all but all of these things um.

yeah right inside the LA Club it's like. oh it's a woman's lunch with Jam Lee. Curtis great that's that's worth five. grand a. year I'm I'm out of all of these things. I because all of these clubs are. pointless the food is terrible the. people in them are are are are. desperate in a way that is obvious and. and quite uh transparent how they're. clawing in at any signs of life it's.

they. they're everything is is is is digital. now or or It's Quickly moving in that. direction so all of these places you go. they're kind of dilapidated and you you. can remember when they were hot when. they mattered when it was Buzzy when. there was a scene when it mattered what. someone said who you did Coke in the. bathroom with at the San venti but now. it's just people go that followers they. have followers they're in you don't have.

followers you're out they got something. going on we can see it they just go to. your social Pages what do you got going. on and the new group of Hollywood young. impact Power Player whatever is all it's. a tally it's just a tally of your social. media followers so the agents and the. managers that used to matter are just. wandering around like uh corpses the.

great play uh that I saw in New York the. Fairman with uh the great Irish actress. Fula Flanigan Sam Mendes um directed it. it was a jez Butterworth play the. Fairman they had a great line I forget. what they were quoting but they they. have this line see if you can get this. up and it is people wandering the Earth. Souls wandering the Earth waiting for. the ferrymen. you know it's this great quote and it's. I think it's Greek mythology or.

something I I don't. know and it's basically the quote. is Fairman of the Dead yeah get that. quote is there a quote there uh yeah. hold. on because this is how I would describe. the the the agents and the managers all. these people that used to have power and. used to be able to uh you know basically. they are now The Souls of the undead.

wandering the Earth waiting for the fmen. to take them to the underworld that's. all they are and again many of them I. like and it's it's not meant to be. insulting but they are the undead. wanding the Earth waiting for the. ferryman to take them to hell and I. don't say that in a negative way that's. just what these people are because it. they serve no purpose anymore everything. is attack it's an algorithm and it's. just numbers so there is there is no.

conversation that has any value outside. of just pointing to a phone and going. look look who I got I got this person. there's nothing interesting to be. discussed occasionally some brand deal. is cooked up over a you. know mocktails or something but pretty. much it's all it will take us a while to. find this quote. I'll get it I'll get it one day maybe.

we'll add the tier on patreon for $1,000. if you want to hear the quote that I'm. thinking of and if you pay a grand I'll. just I'll just we had a lot of fun with. Doug mhof on patreon he's one of our. faves. pathetic but that's why these cities and. these uh Social Clubs and these events. feel hollow it's because everything's. already happened that's needed to happen. all the things that have been decided.

have already been decided there nothing. is happening it's a. simulation everyone the at the party. who's famous knows they're famous and. everybody who represents them knows that. and uh there there is there there is. nothing there's no like you know who you. got to see you know who you got to you. know who you got to check out they just. take out a phone and go check out what. he does check out that guy oh the. trampoline guy yeah he answers the. trivia question on the trampoline before.

he falls down I like that guy it's game. shows it's everything it's safe brand. safe the brands will love. it and that's what makes Tim wals. interesting is he is a. creature from before the time where. everything was numbers and algorithms he. is a a a funnel cake dad who crawls like. an Abominable Snowman out of a cave in. Minnesota and he brings his folky charm.

in radical politics and he joins a wine. drunk Brentwood mom on the quest to lead. this decaying Nation against the casino. magnet uh once president Donald Trump. and JD Vance. a tech Zealot an interesting Tech Zealot. but make no mistake. we do have.

Shapiro would have been to. me more of an interesting candidate. because that fight in the Democratic. party they need to have between the. Jay's and the. M's and by Jay's and M's I mean Jews and. Muslims but that fight and don't get mad. at me that's the problems that's the. issues none of them were talked at the. Young Hollywood Powers Summit impact. report none of that came up.

there but you do hear it on the streets. with the youth I think it was funny when. Trump said that um Tim wals was deep in. the transgender world that was a very. funny quote he's deep in the uh. transgender. world I don't know what this uh these I. will say these laws that say that if you. do not recognize your child's gender the. state the judge can use that against you. and remove the kid from the home is. that's not warming anyone's Heart by the.

way the Democrats need to chill with the. culture stuff in the same way that the. Republicans need to on the other end. nobody wants a National Abortion ban in. in in in in you know if you poll the. country the numbers don't support that. and I don't think anybody wants uh. parents to be forced. to. um.

accept their child as another gender by. the. state nobody wants the state parenting. the kids and if they don't or if it. takes them a while to accept that the. state comes in and can take the child. away this is a insane. law and it. is something that and this other thing. with schools where we've talked about it. on the program.

this California Senate approves ban on. transgender notification policies in. schools I don't think it's good that. teachers and students keep secrets from. parents I think that leads to a bad. place you. know can you imagine Tim Wallace being. like listen I know you want to chop your. tits off and I support that but why. don't you show them to me one time why. don't you show them to me one time. before you drop him off how great would. it come out if Tim.

walz he's just a folksy social studies. teacher and he just fathered a child. with one of his students just a. folky I respect he gets my vote if he. comes out and he goes we'll burn this. country down we'll burn it down we. burned it down once and we'll burn it. down. again and if your kid wants to chop. their tits off I'm coming to the house. with a. Cleaver I'm funnel caked down. he's angry he's always angry about I'm.

angry you. bastards he's pissed off cuz him and his. wife have no [ __ ] money I'm. mad JD Vance he didn't serve in the. National Guard like I by the way the. National Guard can we cut that out the. National Guard I think I'm in the. National. Guard I mean the National Guard is. nothing if you are are not if you are. not in combat getting shot at I do not.

want to hear about your military service. you joined the. gym if you were in the National Guard. and you did not see [ __ ] or if you're JD. Vance and you went to Iraq you joined a. gym or even worse you were a journalist. I do not want to hear about your. military service if you were not getting. shot I want you for me to take you. seriously if I ask ask you about your. service you have to look down because. you've lost so many.

people I've had. friends that came home from the military. and those friends tell me they go Tim. and I swear to God they say this they go. I did all these tours and I RQ and the. only way I can come now is even though I. have a wife I get on a bed and I put an. ADT on Craigslist and someone comes in. and they [ __ ] me with a gun to my head. and I put a bag over my head and then. they leave and I never see them and. that's that's I can come without even.

touching my dick because that's how. [ __ ] up they are that's what I want to. hear from a candidate who did a bunch of. Tours in the military I don't want if. you are not that level of [ __ ] up I. don't believe you served I don't believe. you served I had someone tell me that. once IO I just take a ad out on. Craigslist I get on all fours on the bed. the guy comes in [ __ ] me in the ass I. have a bag over my head he puts a gun to. my head. why are you laughing this is what. somebody said to me once at a lunch at.

Hillstone and I and I went oh and he. goes and then that person leaves and I. don't know who it was and I don't know. and I never see them again and then I. get tested for AIDS if you are not at. this is what I this is what I believe. because when you were in war things. happen it unlocks things I would do. great in war great I would do I just. can't be in the physic Al ity of it. because I think it's like seems tiring.

and stuff but I would be great at just. the kind of decision. making uh you know just like they go we. got to kill we got to burn that Village. I go burn it baby I would be able to. give the soldier speeches to keep them. on message you know people that are. losing heart soldiers that are losing. heart they've killed too many kids and. they need somebody to come in and boost. the morale you bring in Timmy Timmy. tells you what to do. I know you're all killing kids and it. gets depressing but we got a bigger.

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was terrible but he said and this was. his words every cloud has a silver. lining because he goes I went to Morgan. and Morgan and they're getting me a. great settlement and now I'm always. going to I'm I'm gonna be able to go to. Iceland now because he never could. afford to go to Iceland isn't that nice. and he always said that because if. always want to go to Iceland but and. it's sad that he lost his fiance it was. his fiance and and her his two best. friends his brother his brother and his. best friend his fiance World gun but he. said listen they would want him to go to.

Iceland and that's where Morgan and. Morgan comes. in their fee is free unless they win for. more information go to forthepeople.com. Tim or dial pound law pound 529 from. your cell phone that's fthe people.com. Tim or pound law pound 529 from your. cell this a paid advertisement play. Lindsey Graham talking about the Ukraine. war about the lithium ion and all that. all the all the mineral deposits that. the Ukraine is sitting on play lindsy. Graham. one of our dumbest Senators uh saying. the quiet part out.

loud we don't care about the Ukrainian. people we never have it is a wealthy. country and we do not want Russia and. China getting those mineral deposits and. of course we have Lindsey. Graham saying. that out loud we could have avoided this. Bloodshed we could have figured out some. compromise in every war there is a. compromise and it is a usually a land. deal someone gets something someone else. gets something no no one's thrilled. about it but Lindsay Graham starts.

talking about the Ukraine war and he. starts talking about what a wealthy. country the Ukraine is and how it would. be. crazy for us to abandon the Ukraine so. that Russia could share those mineral. deposits and uh all the other things. with uh China here's Lindsey Graham. they're sitting on 10 to 12 trillion. doll of critical minerals in in Ukraine.

they could be the richest country in all. of Europe I don't want to give that. money and those assets to Putin to share. with China if we help Ukraine now they. can become the best business partner we. ever dreamed of that 10 to 12 trillion. dollar of critical mineral assets could. be used by Ukraine and the West not. given to Putin and China this is a very. big deal how Ukraine ends help them win. a war we can't afford to lose let's find. a solution to this war but they're.

sitting on a goal mine to give Putin 10. or 12 trillion dollar of critical. minerals that he will share with uh. China is ridiculous well as Lindsey. Graham confirming there it is about the. people the great people of the Ukraine. that's who it's about so it's always. been about lindsy Graham Senator Lindsey. Graham confirming uh my worst suspicions. that the United States was there to help. the Ukrainian. people amazing two years into this by.

the way Lindsey Graham comes out and. goes well they're rich that's why we're. there because a casual Observer might. say well there's like Civil Wars all. over the world there's horrible. humanitarian crisises all over the world. some of them we are funding at the very. moment and we seem only interested in. this one we seem to have a Micro Focus. on this one conflict we seem pretty. hellbent on supporting the Ukraine.

against Russia at all costs no matter. what and we don't want any peace deal. made and we don't want any resolution. and I wonder why when we are very. content to let people get slaughtered in. every corner of the world a lot of them. with our. weapons and then Lindsey Graham comes. out two years in and goes yeah yeah yeah. they're. rich that that that's why we're doing it. there are rich they have. money and either Russia and China get.

the money or we get the money who do you. want to get the. money I like it because Lindsey Graham. you got to realize he's an old reptile. and he's been in the game long enough. where the scales show and his eyes do. the lizard thing like it's almost time. to Dish the skin suit and go back to the. Center of the Earth so he's just he's in. his [ __ ] [ __ ] it mode lindsy grahams in. his Boomer Cru [ __ ] it mode he is just.

saying there's people in Washington. going Lindsay what are you doing you. closeted freak but he is out there. basically saying hey hey it's about the. money what are you. stupid and then everybody's like Lindsay. no no no no no no no it's about human. rights it's about lesbian basketball. players it's about uh trans athletes. it's about. Russia is not nice it's about come on. we're we got to do all those other.

things Lindsay it's not about any sh. it's not about any of that it's not. about the money it's about the Ukrainian. people it's about self-determination. come on shut up shut up but then Lindsay. comes out and he goes [ __ ] it I'm an old. reptile and I don't have the [ __ ]. time I'm about to drop this skin suit. off at the cleaners for the last time. and go right to the Center of the Earth. where I'll rain forever in the in the. pits of fire I'm going to speak my mind. I'm going to say what I want to say and. he says it like in a sassy gay Southern.

way well they got all that money and why. well why shouldn't we have that reminds. me of Todd Christley that remember that. guy him and his wife with the jail for. bezman they were neighbors with the. Kardashians lindsy Graham talks like. that guy well they got all that money in. Ukraine why wouldn't I have that money. are you stupid or something we need that. money it go share with Russia and China. I love love [ __ ] and I love. money my name is lindsy Graham and I'll.

tell you right now they got all that. [ __ ] money over there they're s they. could be one of the richest people ever. and they could be our best friend you. ever had a rich best friend you ever go. to the mall with your Rich best friend. and sometimes they buy jeans and they. buy you a pair too and you just want to. suck that friends [ __ ] but you can't. because you love [ __ ] and your wife but. in head of that you get all this m I. just want all this money I'm about to.

take this skin suit off go live in a in. the pits of fire and before I do that. I'm gonna say what I feel I'm gonna say. what I feel I'm gonna say it I'm not. going to lie no more this has been about. money I don't know what what we don't. care about the Ukraine I don't give a. [ __ ] ain't nobody give a [ __ ] about the. Ukraine but they. Rich they got a big old house and we go. swim in that pool so we got to pretend.

to care about them but we. don't by the way the ukrainians I know. one Ukrainian comedian who lives in. Texas now that kid I had on my show now. lives in Texas the Mother Ship they're. all fine they're all at the. mothership that's Lindsey Graham by the. way just out there he's such an. interesting guy you know it's just uh. Disneyland reporting fewer uh operating. uh operating profit in Q3 citing. inflation and demands for park has.

moderated people are not going to Disney. World as much I'm very proud of my. country even though many of them are. watching the Olympics I'm very proud of. my country that they are starting to see. how disgusting Disney World is how. repulsive it is it is terrible to bring. your children to and this is not because. they have gay day or whatever but some. of you queuing on lunatics it's because. it is banal it is boring Disney mov have. sucked now for many many years uh. they're no longer interesting they don't.

have villains the the reason the Disney. movies suck now is they don't have. villains they don't have Maleficent they. don't have Ursula they don't teach. anybody anything about the world they. don't teach children about the world. anymore uh they are strange and they're. odd and they are not worth anybody's. Time and Disney World is old and it's. getting decrepit and many of the people. that are visiting Disney World are. mentally unstable adults and now because. we have destigmatized that and we have. allowed mentally unstable adults to fill. the parks most of your Disney World trip.

will be having to explain to your. children why they are waiting on a line. with mostly morbidly obese adults to go. on the ride why are all the people on. the ride big and fat mommy because. that's who comes here now morbidly obese. adults on multiple medications that's. who attends the park why is the why is. it such a long wait well because adults. come here now and it's. okay Disney is K and I'm not even.

[ __ ] on my gals my plus-size Park. Hoppers we love you we love you. ladies but most people are realizing. that Disney World is just not worth it. you take your kids once let's play John. Hinckley speaking about peace and. Harmony the great John hinley who shot. President Reagan very sad of course um. this is John hinley speaking about peace. and harm we I really want to get him I. don't want to I'm trying to get him in. his band to play for this Netflix show. but they I don't believe they're going. to clear it through. legal I wanted the John Hinckley Jr band.

to play for this Netflix talk show thing. and I thought it would be funny and I to. say ladies and gentlemen give it up for. John Hinckley Jr and the audience is. clapping nobody but let's let's listen. to John hinley Jr. here hello everybody hope you're doing. great I know there's a lot of violence. and turmoil in the world now our country. is just really in a bad place right now. but we need to try and be peaceful. correct try and get along with each.

other that is correct let's have some. Harmony in our in our lives please yes. and try and reject violence in all its. forms correct I'm trying to live a. peaceful life myself now I Manan I know. I'm I know I'm I'm known for an act of. violence but that is correct I live a. peaceful life now and I try I want to. project that image of being a peaceful. person yes I try as hard as I can. but we need to try and get along and and. just love each other I mean that's the.

main thing is just to try and love each. other preach John hi J Love Yourself. preach and let's try and live in harmony. gospel facts and let's give peace a. chance as John lenon said let's give. peace a chance facts next time he hosts. variety's power impact Summit of young. Hollywood many of you guys weren't born. when this guy made his bone shooting. President Reagan multiple times. but bygones like many of you at this. party we've all done things we're not.

proud of please bring up John Hinckley. Jr and his band see that's what I would. do you get John hinley up there but by. the way like OJ Simpson you know their. acts are not ideal but you know quite. frankly at the end of their life I feel. like after you've killed someone you. attain like or try to kill someone you. attain this crazy level of. wisdom OJ at the end was like so Lucid. it was amazing so killing someone or. attempted murder they become like some. type of you.

know this camo hat that uh Kamala and. wals are selling is is uh. disgusting it is disgusting let's look. at. that they think you're so stupid by the. way and I'm not saying that that every. politician doesn't but I'm saying. specifically this. hat man they think you're I'm a I'm a. liberal. Hunter I'll burn burn it. down I'll burn it down. again funnel cake dad so funny now do we.

have some of his old students talking. about what it's like to have to have. studied under the tutelage of funnel. cake dad abominable snowman Lake. Creature from the. lake and I don't like how this is a lot. of my Lake friends one of them in. particular a comedian named John Kennedy. they really texting me and they're all. like oh they're they're full of their. Lake.

pride and I don't like it the lake. people must be kept down we are an ocean. country the strength of the Waves as. they crash on the shore not the [ __ ]. Lake oh we don't have the videos of them. no this was the only person had done a. political article I had only had him for. a year and it was actually his last year. before running for Congress and the. thing I would always hear about wals was. that he's not really a homework guy so. as long as you could reasonbly show up. participate in discussions or just have. thoughts that you could articulate he. wasn't really a lecturer he valued the.

thoughts and experiences of kids he was. known for treating kids quite a bit like. adults in that way on Fridays we would. focus on current events like he would. have this rotating group of students do. a little bit of their own research and. bring in about two or three minutes of. context and then he would open the door. and the rest of the class it would be an. active discussion I remember him grading. us quite a bit on our ability to look. something up give us a bit of context. about blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah. blah so they said did you remember any. of the debates because it was one that. stood out now that I look back on it in. 20 years we were reading about France's.

attempts to come up with social policies. around Muslim women covering themselves. in certain public places and whether or. not we believe that to be a western. ideal or an example of this demand for. democracy gone a little bit too far that. that's maybe not as respectful as we. want it to be of cultural differences. and identity I was doing a lot of. listing that day wal did a really good. job of making kids feel the cognitive. dissonance of what it's like to grow up. in the most powerful country in the. world but also these things he would. never consider as a white middle class. kid in southern uh.

Minnesota he's a good teacher so. what so. what funnel cake dad was a good teacher. I have no problem believing that I have. no problem believing that but I just I'm. not sold on him yet I'm not sold on this. man I have a lot of problems with the. lake people. I think there's a deep insecurity to. Lakes I I I you know there's something.

about oceans that toughen someone up and. lakes that make them. soft that's what it is come at me I. don't care it's. true I'm saying that well if oceans make. people tough and not soft will you live. by an ocean you're fat yeah I I know. that but whales are fat and very tough.

actually. so that's not a um I'm not saying that. Lake people and wals himself is a little. snowman um I like his Gates the way he. stands and his Cadence he's kind of a. fun like action figure. person like Tim wals like the way he. just kind of like presents I do like the. way he presents he's like an like an. Angry Grandpa. but should he be you know I don't know. should he be given all this power let's.

play something he said let's play. something he's talking about I grew up. with in the Heartland JD studied at. Yale had his career funded by Silicon. Valley billionaires my family didn't. they don't even know where Yale. is my family riots that's what people do. in real America they burn. cars they burn houses that's what they. do they don't go to school JD Vance went. to Yale I we burn things down that's the.

only way my wife can come as if she. smells rubber from tires being burned in. the middle of the street cuz it breaks. up our boring Lake life of [ __ ] going. to diners and having snowball. fights this guy grew up in that what's. that famous Christmas movie with the. with the boot lamp why am I blanking on. this Christmas Story yeah he grew up in. the Christmas story Camala Harris grew. up in a bottle of wine and uh which I. like her because here's the thing about.

Cala Harris she's a wio ho and she's. just kind of out there getting drunk and. hopping on dicks and you know as Ways to. Live it's certainly not the worst um and. Trump is just he's got to find his. footing again because he's all over the. place and he's. erratic and uh he's he's he needs to. like in 2016 he was very he was like. it's build the wall it's immigration. it's this it's that a singular Focus he. was pounding them on one thing one thing. now it's a lot of different he's got to.

find the messaging they their side. doesn't care about the message it. doesn't matter their message is we're. not Trump that's the only Salient. message that they've put out this guy's. barking and yelling and screaming he. doesn't know what he's saying he's. talking about the real America and. folksy down home why we Mash our. potatoes with a fork you know he's just. an actor they've brought in she is. complete uh you know Hollow human being. that is just full of ideas uh from you.

know billionaires she has no opinions. other than that it might be fun to be. this President thing that's her campaign. she's just having a ball because she's. where she never thought she'd be the. presidency he's screaming and yelling. about uh oatmeal we use milk in our. oatmeal not hot water whatever his. [ __ ] and and they're just going to. say like you know we need to help the.

middle CIT none of them are going to. help the middle CIT the Democrats in the. Republican this is. not this idea that any one of them are. going to go start helping the middle. class like that like they all roll their. sleeves up on day one and go all right. so the middle class how do we help I. mean it's not it's this is not their. first order of business no matter who. wins by the way. um but Trump's got to find the the. message that and I think the message. should be and I you know I don't know.

but I think the message should be that. this will be country by committee not a. president this will be led by people in. the shadows who are not elected and not. accountable and and you don't even have. to use this term deep State you say. anything you want but it. is you know quite obvious that a woman. who has not spoken for four years it has. very few opinions that we know of that. seems to have the opinion of any. interviewer who asks her a. question and her whatever opinion she.

does have are not mainstream opinions. but I don't even think she has them I I. think they're just things she cooks up. she wants to be liked and then she. brings on funnel cake dad to make people. feel good about things but I think the. reality of the situation is it will be. country by committee it is not going to. be a president and that's why they. removed Joe Biden that's why they put in. her and I think that is kind of the. message is that you know love me or hate. me I will be the president and whatever. you may think of her she's not going to. be the president the person who she.

worked for wasn't the president we don't. know who the president is in fact the. country probably doesn't need a. president but the people that are. pulling the strings and making the. decisions are moving us very quickly. into uh a position with Russia we. shouldn't be in there's going to be. probably a pretty big war in the Middle. East wealth inequality has has done. nothing but been exacerbated big Tech. and Wall Street still runs the show and. I mean you've got Hollywood on the Cala. side and then some of these libertarian. Tech Bros on Trump's side the.

libertarian Tech Bros kind of want to. use Trump because they have agendas as. well and they want to just suck up a. bunch of government money and federal. grants so that they can go on their. [ __ ] Live Forever quest and you know. they think they're building a new God. which is AI these people are terrifying. and should be watched they want to go on. there you know let's merge humans and. machines uh quest with some government. moneyy some fun grants and that's why a. lot of them love Trump and then she's.

got big Hollywood on her side because. they have traditionally been Democrats. and they know that she is going to be an. incredibly powerful Ally to. have for mergers and things that they. want to do okay so it's all agendas at. the top and at the bottom it's [ __ ]. funnel cake dad with a fun debate about. burkas in France and then we're all.

going and we're all going to have a blue. plate special oh we're gonna eat some. meatloaf and talk about burkers and his. wife sits there and she's talking about. the burning. tires uh and that's the way they talk to. you the way that they talk behind closed. doors to their big donors and to the. people that matter is much differently. than the way that they talk to you what. you are seeing is stagecraft acting it's. Hollywood for ugly people as many many. many others have said before me a great.

quote this is a completely staged. manufactured thing these people are not. necessarily the most authentic of them. love them or hate them is Trump that. doesn't mean that everything he wants to. do is great or that he doesn't have. negatives about him as a human being but. when he's mad you can tell cuz he's. ineffective when he gets up there on the. stump and he's angry he's like in. effective and he's all over the place. but there's an authenticity to him that.

people connect with but it isn't you. know it isn't working as well this time. and I think it's it's his energy levels. and his. focus and now we're just he's agreed to. three debates we gotta let him and her. for three hours now three debates with. these two m i mean God that's going to. be a. lot so if I was at the Young power. Summit in power Hollywood this is the. old Hollywood power Summit these are the.

most famous people in the world Camala. Harris Donald Trump JD Vance dead ey JD. and funnel cake dad these are the most. famous people in the world and much like. a lot of the people that were at the uh. young power broker influencer impact. awards. ceremony um these people aren't famous. for for much of a reason some of it is. an accident of History some of it is. earned some of it is a sociopathic.

tenacity the Camala Harris ambition the. clawing the scraping the scratching. stepping on the necks of uh anyone. backstabbing all of that stuff you know. and these are the most famous people in. the world for the next few months and. then some of them will Fade Into. Obscurity that's the thing about the. presidency. you know and that's the thing about. politics in general you're hot and then.

you're not it is a very quick Ascent to. a level of Fame that most people will. never. experience and then you have to deal. with it see if it unravels you before. you are then put back in general. population with a shitty little book. deal and some third raid podcast. appearances and this could be one of. them but. as the intellectual genius Sabrina. Carpenter. said and I address this to funnel cake.

dad and his wife burnt rubbers burnt. rubber Gwen as the brilliant Sabrina. Carpenter said last night to a room full. of vacant eyed. ticktockers follow your dreams.