The Vast Majority | The Tim Dillon Show #361
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim. Dillon Show. Thank you to everybody who. came out to the. Bari Weiss event that I did comedy in. front of, the very important. uh. Bari Weiss. event. It was a debate sponsored by the Mossad. in which we discussed. the proposition, should woman should.
woman should women start getting hit. again in the movies? Should they start. getting punched. in the face, you know, but in kind of a. romantic way, like to calm her down. And the answer was no, but it was close. Uh 51 to 49, and the great Anna Khashan. Khashian Khashian from Red Scare was. there, and she was the funniest one. Uh but Louise Perry was there as well, who's very smart, and then Sarah Hater,
who's really smart, and then Grimes, who's very entertaining and and uh you. know, smart in her own way. And uh it was a good uh it was a good. debate. I stayed about 40 minutes, and I. did and that was fine. That was more. than enough. I mean, Jesus Christ. I heard about that afterparty. It's on a. rooftop, and you know, it's just, you know, you do it, it's. fun, you move on. It doesn't need you know, it doesn't. have to be a convention. So,
thank you, Bari, for including me. I. appreciate it, and um. you know, everybody uh you more and more. people are on Ozempic. That's all I can. tell you. Everybody I bump into in. Hollywood in Los Angeles is on Ozempic, and uh. it's a miracle drug, apparently, but in. rare cases, you can get. uh something called gastro-. paresis or paresis, where. your stomach uh refuses to empty. It. will not empty out, so you're nauseous.
kind of for the rest of your life when. eating food, but that is very rare. cases, but everyone you meet. in this town is on Ozempic. I'm not. going to say who's on it, but I'm saying. people you bump into and they go, "Are. you on Ozempic? I'm on Ozempic.". And I'm happy for everybody that's on it. and uh who knows? I might do it. I'm a. [ __ ]. I'm a [ __ ]. And doctors, they're telling me they. don't know if I should do it. And I mean.
doctors, these people are the scum of. the earth. They'll tell you to do. anything, really. So, if doctors are saying just, "We. don't know yet." Doctors. Their job is just to sell you [ __ ]. If they are telling you to wait, DOCTOR, THE LOWEST OF THE LOW. DOCTORS. PEOPLE, THEY HAVE TO literally make them. do the Hippocratic oath, first do no. harm. They have to make them say that. cuz they know how sick they are in the.
head. Doctors, if they are even saying, "Wait, maybe, or. let's see what happens.". And some of them aren't. Some of them. are going, "Go for it. We don't know.". But a lot of them are afraid now because. of that thing on Netflix called. Painkiller where. everybody is mad at the Sacklers. And I'll tell you this, I found at my. mother's I found out at my mother's. wake, she was a pharmaceutical rep. She.
was one of those hot chicks. She used to. be hot and she was like selling speed. and stuff and I was so proud of her. What did. By the way, let me mount. a much-needed. defense of the Sackler family right now. Let me because I haven't heard any. There's none. There's not one person defending the. Sacklers. I thought about it the other. day. I said, "Everybody, you know, has. betrayed these people. They've deserted.
them in their hour of need.". There's not one person willing to say. maybe this is a two-sided issue. Maybe. there's more to this. Maybe somebody had. a bad back. Here's the deal. Does it or not? Does it. work or not? That's number one. Does it. work or not? Are you still in pain or. not? From the boating accident. Do you feel. better after the boating accident or. not? Or do you want Aleve?
They created a product that works, and. the problem is it worked too well. And they knew it worked really, really, really, really well. That's the whole. point of that show. They knew how well. it worked, and they kind of were like, "Hey, we're just going to let you know it's. good, but we don't want to tell you that. good. We don't want to tell you it's. great.". And I'm aware. that hindsight is 20/20. The Monday. morning quarterbacking is big. Everybody.
likes to beat up on the family that got. us all addicted to opioids. Okay? I. understand that. Instinctually, maybe I. might even agree with it if I were of a. lesser mind as many of you are. I wish I. was that in that condition, in that. state. Because it must be easier to kind of go. through life questioning nothing. And always walking around. By the way, they have a great. wing at the the Museum of Natural.
History that's beautiful. That's got cri- Get up to Sackler wing. at the Museum of Natural History. Because that's good. It's It's not only if you've made money, it's what have you done with your money? And now all these boards are going, "Let's Let's take give back their. money.". What about all the money that they they. took from like. these [ __ ] military industrial. complex groups that have literally.
killed people all over the world, but. that money's good, but the money from. the Sackler family is not good. Don't you think it's odd, by the way, that we only have a problem with one. family in the pharmaceutical world? Isn't that strange that it's one evil. family and no one else? Nobody else has. done anything wrong. There's no other. drug that we should look at. It's just. just OxyContin. There's no other meds. out there that we may not need. We're. the most medicated country in the world,
but there's nothing else that's a. problem. The only thing that's a problem. is literally the most obvious thing. The most obvious thing that turns people. into zombies running around We'll. criticize that. But isn't it interesting that we've. directed all Does anyone find that. interesting that we've directed all of. our attention to one family, and the. ruling class has decided to evict them. from the boards of museums and. charities, and they've decided to give. back their donations? It's like, "Your. money's NOT GOOD HERE. TAKE YOUR MONEY. AWAY. WE ONLY TAKE MONEY FROM THE.
MILITARY AND PEOPLE THAT DO ONLY GOOD.". WE ONLY TAKE MONEY FROM PEOPLE THAT DO. ONLY GOOD THINGS, like Boeing. Don't you. think it's odd that there's just one. family that everybody's focused on, this. one evil family of evil people that were. born evil? They're born evil. It's odd to me. It seems like we've. scapegoated them. I'm not telling people to do OxyContin.
I like Percocet. Stick with Percocet. That's the message of the show. The. message of the show. Vicodin might not be enough for you. I. understand that. Vicodin's light. It's a. mom thing. I used to do open houses with. a fat realtor named Nula, and she used. to give me Vicodin, and we used to walk. ourselves because no one would come to. the open houses. We used to do them on. this small island Harbor Isle where I. grew up. It doesn't matter. You can. Google it. And we used to walk around. the island, you know, and all viced up,
and it feels nice cuz your joints kind. of glide. But the point is. if you wanted get, you know, I get that. doesn't seem fun maybe to people. listening. But then you do Percocet cuz. Percocet's nice. But that's habit-forming as well. But. OxyContin, I remember I took it a few. times. I ended up on a couch, me and my. buddy just kind of going. staring at each other. We got like dope. sick. It's not fun. It's not fun. But pretending that it is. the only drug that is a problem in this. country,
it is the only thing that we should. monitor at all. It is the only the only. pharmaceutical problem we have is the. evil Sackler family with the. OxyContin. That's it. That's the only issue. There's no Nobody else is pushing. anything on you you shouldn't take. Nobody, you know, cuz all those. 18-year-old kids. collapsing on soccer fields, having. heart attacks cuz of OxyContin, right? So bad.
I love when By the way, it's going to sound crazy, but go with. me here. When all of the rich people decide to. evict one rich family, take the side of the family they've. evicted. Take the side of the family they've. Listen to me, not emotionally. Take your. emotions out for a minute. What I'm saying is when all of these. people.
decide that one group of people that. they all knew what they were doing. There was nobody that didn't know how. the Sacklers made their money. There was. NO ONE THAT DIDN'T KNOW. SO, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS IN? Machine parts? What do you guys do? Are you in port. export? What do you do? Do you run art. galleries? WHAT DO YOU DO? They knew it. Everyone knew how they. made their money. There's not one group. of. They're all at the dinner party. and like the Sacklers are there and.
everybody's going like, How do they. How do they have all this money? Everyone knew. Everyone knew. Some of. the people took the drug. Some of the. people, drum roll, PLEASE, WERE IN ON IT. THEY WERE THEY WERE. INVESTED. THEY THOUGHT IT WAS GREAT. THEY JUST DIDN'T COME UP WITH THE THING. SO, this one family. who. created this drug. that has become. a nightmare for people.
I don't advocate drug use. I'm sober for. 12 years. The only reason I'm able to do anything. as a human being on this planet is. because I am sober. If you even think you have a drug or. alcohol problem, you do and you should. get help. That's true. But, I'll tell you something else. And And but for the people that aren't. or maybe a little on the fence, stick. with perks. I think that's a happy. medium. I'm not going to tell you to do. nothing. Life's hard. Stick with perks.
or a little vikey. because the oxy's are too much and I. It's like abstinence-only education. It's not realistic. The kids are going. to [ __ ] anyway and have kids. So, you. got to teach them a little bit about the. condom but you can't teach them in the. fifth grade. There's got to be a little. There's a little you know, when you're. in high school, you go, here's the. thing. This is what you use if you're going to. do it. Don't do it but if you're going. to do it, wear the condom. If you're. going to do it. Don't do it but if you.
And that's the way I That's what I'm. telling you. Don't do it, but if you're. going to do it, take a Vicodin. Take a Percocet and take a nice drive. around Connecticut and take a nice walk. Go antiquing with two Vicodin. You don't. need OxyContin. That's the price. You. take a couple of Vicodin and you go. antiquing on a Sunday in Connecticut and. you have a warm lobster roll. It's fine. That's fine. You got to learn to live. with that level of. intoxication. You have to learn You.
know, my friend's mother, who was a. prostitute, but was brilliant in her own. way, said once, I handle my drugs. I I I handle my drugs. I've learned to. handle my drugs. I'm good at drugs. She said that because I've learned to. handle my drugs. Handle your She said. that to us when we were 13. Handle your. drugs, she said in her kitchen to us. My. friend, my lesbian friend. Handle your. drugs, she said. You have to handle your. drugs. You have to You You can't drink.
to the point where you vomit. You can't. People have used substances for. enjoyment forever and it's not a popular. thing to say, especially as a sober guy. I lack the power. of using recreational drugs. Many people. do not. I know people that drink often. and smoke marijuana a lot. I know people. that go on ayahuasca retreats and have. horrible ideas for scripts afterwards. I. know people that take DMT. I know people. that do everything that roll on Molly. They go to raves. They're 48 and they're.
at raves. Whatever, it doesn't matter. But they can do what I cannot. I have. lost the power over that. I'm I'm. incapable of it. My advice is to the. people that are capable of it. Be good at your drugs. Be good at your. drugs. It's not an abstinence message. It doesn't work. Telling everyone to not do drugs is not. really maybe realistic or even ideal. How much funner are certain people. drunk?
How much better. are certain people if they have the edge. taken off, right? There's nothing wrong. with that. I'm just saying stick with. Percocet. Which is more than enough and for many. of you Vicodin is enough. OxyContin's. way too much. It's way too much. You got to stay away. from it. And yes, it's a slippery slope, they'll. say. Yes, it is a slippery slope. Yes, if many of you who start with. Vicodin or Percocet will end up doing.
OxyContin. But I guess many people who. start sucking [ __ ] will eventually [ __ ]. a dog. It's not my problem. I'm saying. be good at your drugs, as my friend's. prostitute mother said, who used to sell. us weed. Where was I before that? I was on. something important. When all of these. rich families that know exactly what's. going on. kick out one family and decide to. blacklist them, they decide to shame. them and say they are uniquely evil.
They are uniquely evil and bad. And they have corrupted the system. single-handedly. We don't know how they. did it. We just went to every fundraiser. with them, vacationed with them, sat. next to them, hung out with them, maybe. [ __ ] them, did drugs with them, donated money to every political. campaign with them, saw them out at. every fundraiser for the last 30 or 40. years, but their lives have been a. mystery to us. We don't know what. they're doing over there. We have no. idea what they're doing, but it's bad. It's bad and it's uniquely evil. They.
are different. They have They have. polluted a great system, the. pharmaceutical system, the system of. research and development and innovation, the system that makes people in America. better and healthy. Isn't it a country. of healthy people? They're always. getting better. That's what they've. done. They've made everyone better. And. then this evil family of warlocks called. the Sackler family invented the plague. And no one knew it was a plague even. though we prescribed it for 30, 40. years.
And it's that evil family. that was we didn't know what they were. doing. We knew that they had a drug. called OxyContin. You know, the studies weren't and we. were not shown. Whenever the rich decide. to evict and I mean the real not people. like me. Stop calling ME RICH. IT'S NOT. TRUE. IT'S NOT TRUE. The thing the real rich, the people that. are in insanely wealthy and they they're. they're.
balls of powerful people. They're. factions, power factions of control. And then every now and then they evict. somebody. They decide to evict somebody. This happens all the time. They go, "You're out.". Because. the way these things work is all all of. the way all of the businesses in America. at the high end are cartels kind of. They're like cartels. And then eventually what happens is the. public gets angry. They become enraged. because there's some crime that's. uncovered.
And then everybody's got to decide at. the midnight meeting how quickly and how. cleanly they can disown whoever either. committed said crime or whoever they can. pin the crime on and convince them that. they are a complete. this is a outlier. This is not the way. we are doing good business. We're doing. the right thing the vast majority. Those. two words. Whenever somebody's using. those words it tends to be a lie if they. have something to gain from it. THEY GO, "THE VAST MAJORITY OF And what they.
really mean is that we are all still. we all still have each other's backs. But we're throwing them out. We're. kicking them out. They're out. This is not to say that OxyContin's good. and you should put it on your frozen. yogurt. This is to say that it's always. interesting when the most, which by the. way, RFK. they attack him. because he's going after the industry. that makes more money in this country. really than any other. The.
pharmaceutical industry is allowed to. advertise in America and New Zealand and. that is it. Growing up, I saw so many ads for all of. these drugs that cured everything from. hair loss to erectile dysfunction to to. anxiety to insomnia. Every single thing. that you could imagine there was a blue. or pink or purple pill for. allergies, all the allergies we get from. the crap food we eat, you know, the. Claritin ads, people running through the. meadows. Look at me, I can breathe.
again. Everything. the pharmaceutical companies do. um. is now off-limits. You cannot criticize. them at all. They are an incredibly. powerful lobby. And since they with the vaccine they. were able to fuse with public health. And criticizing anything they do you. became a conspiracy nut job and a whack. and a crank. But that's why RFK. is.
making waves and pissing people off and. that's why the media is ignoring him. because those news networks that are not. letting him come on and criticize the. pharmaceutical company, the ads for. those news networks are all. pharmaceutical ads because the median. age of a viewer of cable news is like. 115. years old. Their skin is thin. It's like. Biden. It just it's spread very thin. like a thin layer of butter on toast. The skin is spread very thin and the. bones protrude out of it and if you.
touch it even so slightly it becomes. blue. Those are the people that watch uh. the cable news shows and those are the. people. that need the pharmaceutical ads. I did. enjoy Painkiller Ouzo. Adobe is. brilliant, and I don't think the. Sacklers. um you know, are upstanding, fine. people, but none of them are. That's the point. None of them are. So, when everybody gets together and goes, "Here's the bad guy. Look this way.". Here's a But, I was proud of my mom that.
she was one of those hot chicks selling. speed. Yeah. Cuz she was really hot back in the day. And she was one of those hot chicks. selling speed, and I was proud of her. for that. Um cuz I thought that was a cool job. So, speaking of my mother, I want to. show you. these beautiful, beautiful things that. my aunt just sent to me. I had no idea. they existed. Make them big. Make. everyone be able to see them. These are. paintings. Get them up. Get both of them up. These are paintings that my mother did.
before she died. These are. paintings. I believe they are maybe watercolor on. canvas, acrylic on I canvas, I don't. know. They are. They mean a lot to me. They're her last. works. And they are incredibly emotional and. mean a lot to me. We are selling them. And we're selling them because she would.
want them sold. And. I Is it unreasonable. to start the bidding. at $25,000. for a dead artist with two works? For a Patricia Dillon original? What about five Here's Here's what I'll. say. Tell me. on social media.
the amount of money you're willing to. pay for these paintings. I don't really want them. They don't fit. color scheme in my homes. No, they don't. fit the color scheme in my homes. My aunt said, "Do you want them?" I. said, "No, I'm working with designers. and we can't FIT THIS IN. WE CAN'T FIT. IT IN. I'VE SPOKEN TO THESE PEOPLE." And. there it's there's very tough because. there's a whole scheme, there's things. that highlight other things, and things. colors that bounce off. You people I. couldn't even explain it to you. But, it's just not going to work. And. get the other one up with the palm. trees. I think it's a little stronger.
Um. So, again, if you want these Patricia. Field originals, we can make but it's. going to cost. money. I don't think it should be free. This is a recently deceased artist who. has two works. Could we do a gallery show with two. works? Mhm. You could, right? like an exhibition, yeah. Yes. Yes. Well, that might happen. I mean, I have an art dealer I should.
call. No, I have I don't think she'll even. answer, but I I genuinely have an art. dealer who. because I like art. I like art and. Hi, Tim. Hi, Sophia. How are you? Good. How are you? Good. Let me ask you a question. This is. crazy. My mother was kind of like an. artist. She painted two things. She's recently deceased.
I'm so sorry. Oh, I appreciate it. She fought a a long. hard battle. But, she's got these two. like beautiful things. I just want to. show them to you. I don't know. Oh, you show me. I want to show them to you because I. don't know what you could do with them, but like you know, she was schizophrenic. and I know I mean, not to be crass about. it, but I know some of the art world. likes stuff like that. Yeah. No, definitely. You know what I mean? Because people have like mental health. problems. who are like artists do, but also in. general like. Yes. Well, and that's the thing because. I think it unlocks something that's a.
little brilliant and there might be. someone, you know, that I mean not even. to monetize. I'm not concerned about the. money, but somebody might look at this. and go there's some real value in it. because of the schizophrenia. Yeah, send it to me. I'd love to see. Yes. All right, thank you so much. I. appreciate it. Yeah, of course. All right, thank you. Are we not living in a folks? Are we not. living in a great world? Folks, are we. not living in a great world? I mean the art world, is it not fun?
SAVAGE! SHE'S A SAVAGE! SHE'S A NUT! I'M GOING TO SEND THESE [ __ ] PAINTINGS. to this person. and this demon and WE'RE GOING TO SELL. THEM TO SOME RICH [ __ ]. But not the Sacklers. NOT THE SACK NOT. THEM. NOT THEM. I'M GOING TO SELL MY dead. schizophrenic mother's paintings cuz the. SYSTEM'S GOOD. BUT NOT THE SACKLERS.
MY ART DEALER LIKES THAT. She goes, "Let's pimp out those synapses firing. BUT NOT QUITE MEETING UP." But not the. Sacklers, friends. Not good the. Sacklers. But these are on the block. They're. going TO THE BLOCK. [ __ ] YOU. You know. what? You're not messaging that social. media. We're going to do a show. This [ __ ] she's legit legit this. [ __ ] She's legit legit, you know it. We're doing a show for my DEAD MOTHER'S. ART. WE'RE DOING A SHOW FOR MY DEAD MOTHER'S. ART. IF YOU'RE NOT INTO IT, YOU'RE NOT. INTO IT.
But people liked that it's a schizophr-. You you you [ __ ] normie minds can't. [ __ ] comprehend. Cuz what my mother's painting there, she's not really painting a sailboat and. palm trees. What she's And you know what. we need to do? We need to kind of dress. these up a little bit, right? Yeah. These could sell for 100,000 each. If I. get them, I'll get my aunt to send me. them. And then instead of them just. being these like shitty things, in the. middle of it, we'll put like a a bloody.
stencil of Richard Nixon's face. And I swear to God, I'm not kidding. You. put a bloody stencil of Nixon's face and. let it bleed and go, "She's a Vietnam. era schizophrenic.". Shallow it out. Shallow it out. It's true. true. It's absolutely true. It's It's amazingly true. I'm I'm actually, to be honest with you, I'm I'm sad there's only.
two. two Let Let me call my aunt because. frankly, we might be getting more and I. I I am praying to God THERE'S MORE. GIVE. ME MORE. WHAT IF WE GLUED THE BEANIE Babies onto. them? What if we glued the Beanie Babies on. Hi, Donna. Very quick quick question. Can't really talk long. Are those two. paintings of my mother Are those the. only paintings she's done or are those. her only works? Wait, say that Say that again.
Those two paintings that my mother did, are those her only works? Um to mine I might have one of my own, you know, that I have somewhere that I. packed and brought. Oh, get all of her works. I want to do a. gallery show. But All right, I'll I'll. I'll I'll. donate mine. I think mine looks just. like the pine tree. Get them all. Get them all. Get them. all. I'll call you back. THANK YOU. WE'RE IN IT, BABY. GET THEM ALL. GET. THEM ALL. GET THE SPACE. GET THESE rich. retards. THEY JUST GOT OUT OF THE US.
OPEN. START. START stenciling Richard Nixon's bloody. face or some crap they'll like on my. mother's kind of boring. landscapes that are. that are kind of uninspiring. Start. stenciling something kind of Banksy it. up. Sex it up. Let's do a gallery show of my dead. schizophrenic mother's art. It's My. mother, by the way, people that may be. offended by this or think this is.
cold-hearted, there is nobody that would. want her work to sell. How do you say posthumously? Posthumously, yeah. There's nobody that would want her art. to sell posthumously more than my. mother, nobody. My mother would be happy. that I'm using the art that we found in. her mental institution to enrich myself. And if you don't have a mother like. that, then you got to get a new mama. You got to get a new mother. You're They. They want They want their work. appreciated, and it doesn't have to be. in their lifetime. That's a great thing. about art. And if you think I'm kidding about this, you don't know me and have not watched.
this show. There will be a I will do a. gallery show in New York City of this. woman's art. I will You have to just. stencil the faces, get me maybe a Henry. Kissinger, Nixon. We got to do something. We got. It's Vietnam. It's retro. Her mind was. ruined. She was a hippie, and it was. fun, but. her mind got You know, cuz we got to. sell to the rich hippie contingent. They're older now. They're rich. They're. wandering around Malibu or Soho.
These are the people that, you know, were these free love wild types, you. know? Um and and uh. You know, they're really excited about. Pete Buttigieg. I like Pete Buttigieg. I like Mayor. Pete. But, you know, these are the. people that were doing like, you know, they were having fivesomes with Country. Joe and the Fish. You know, but now they're excited about. Mayor Pete, you know? It's like life. life can be long sometimes, and that's. the problem. But,
the these people that, you know, those. are the people that were going for with. kind of that '60s nostalgia. Give me a. little war plane. You put a war plane in. the middle of one of these. A stenciled. war plane in red that it looks like. blood. I'm telling you right now, we're. in. That's all art is. It's fake. It's not real. Dude, I sometimes I want to buy tickets. to something and I'm like when I was. buying the free speech night with Barry.
uh. Weiss and Grimes, I was stressed out. because I'm like, I want a night of free. speech. Where can I go? You know, it's. important to get a night of free speech. out there. Get a little. free speech. So, I went to the feminist free speech. uh debate, but a lot of my friends were. like call me, they were stressed out. They were like, [ __ ] where I how do we. get these tickets? I'm like, what about. the Gametime app? They're like, what? I'm like, uh the Gametime app.
And they're like, is that how we can see. Grimes? I go, yeah. Flash deals, last minute tickets, easy. to find and buy tickets for every kind. of event in your area, images of seat. views, lowest price guarantee, even. cancellation protection, job loss. protection, things like that. Forget planning months in advance. Gametime has deals on tickets right up. to the day of the event. Get exclusive. flash deals on tickets for football, basketball, baseball, concerts, comedy, theater, and more.
The Gametime guarantee means you'll get. the best price. I'm telling you right now, download the. Gametime app, create an account, use the. code TIM. Don't take my word for it. Go. do it now. Maybe that is taking my word for it, but. figure it out for yourself, but do it. now. Use the code TIM for $20 off your first. purchase. Which should be to see me. Terms apply. Again, create an account, redeem code TIM for $20 off. Download. Gametime today. I'm telling you folks,
it is a good app. This is one of those good apps, legitimately, and. it is one of those apps where you need. it because you are buying things in the. show. Uh I'm sorry. It's late. You're buying. things. in the out there in the world. You're. going to buy them anyway. Why not buy. them efficiently and quickly? It's last. minute. Last minute. Like Princess Diana bear right here. I I want to go to the Gametime app.
Why do you want to go to the Gametime. app, Princess Di? Well, I'm the soul of. Diana, actually. And I was murdered because I was dating. a Palestinian and the British royal. family couldn't take that chance, so. they murdered me. with the Mossad. Well, that's wacky, isn't it? Yes, but. now my soul lives in this bear and this. isn't even a real bear. It's the fake bear that your [ __ ].
fans think is real. Well, that's not a nice thing to say. I. died before cancel culture. You're not. going to cancel me. I've already been. canceled in a limousine by some very bad. people. And my only regret is that I. couldn't see Crimes debate the girl from. Red Scare about feminism cuz I didn't. have the Gametime app. Download the Gametime app, create an. account, and use the code TIM for 20%. off your first purchase. I also am not.
thrilled that my [ __ ] of a son is dating. Meghan Markle as I agree with you. I. think she's sort of a low-rent fishwife. So much of what people have to deal with. they own a business is to promote growth. and change. That's really what it comes down to. They can't worry about a lot of the. clerical jobs, the back office, you. know. Right now we're in the calm before the. holiday storm if you are in any type of. e-commerce business. And if you know.
Let me tell you a story about a friend I. had. This is a a real story that might help. people because I'm talking about a a. thing today called ShipStation that. might. made you avoid the fate of a friend that. I have because ShipStation can quickly. and easily update crucial order. information, reduce errors. It's effortly effortless integration. anywhere you sell online including. Amazon, Etsy, eBay, Shopify, and more. It manages orders, prints labels,
compares rates, optimizes every ship. They work with every carrier, UPS, FedEx, the Postal Service. My friend, he he wanted to do it. himself. He said that he could He. started a business. It was sports memorabilia and he goes, "I want to do it myself." And he he got. his wife who was involved as well. And um. she was taking a sabbatical because she. had was pregnant. I don't know what they call that. Maternity leave.
But she was a teacher, so I think. sabbatical's kind of an interesting. She was on maternity leave. Okay? And this guy. this gentleman. started an e-commerce business with her. Well, I don't even want to I mean, I don't. even want to say it. It got so bad. with the shipping.
of the labels and the the they were. trying to keep track of the orders. It. got so bad that he cut the baby out of. her. and killed the baby in front of her and. then killed her. I don't even like. to think about it because to me it's. like. it's.
ShipStation has enterprise solutions. that reduce warehouse costs and improve. profitability. Over 130,000 companies have grown. It. would be one thing to kill her, but. debate and then her, it's you know. Go to shipstation.com and use the code. Tim Dillon today and sign up for your. free 60-day trial at shipstation.com. Code t i m d i l l o n. Bye. Hunter Biden. sadly was indicted This guy is indicted. now. He's facing 10 years because of a. gun charge.
Here's what you got to respect about. Hunter Biden. Um. he's still showing up. to life. Like you know, like he's still with the. family. He's still out. Remember a few months ago you saw him, he was out on the balcony and then he. kind of left to do something or other. inside. But he was out on the balcony with. everybody. He's another artist. It's. this episode about art. If Hunter Biden can sell his art, I my.
mother can't? If this guy can sell his art, my mother. cannot? My mother was a law-abiding. citizen. So Hunter Biden sadly is indicted on gun. charges and um. uh. it's it's not looking great. He. purchased a gun in 2018, the first time. in US history the Justice Department has. charged the child of a sitting. president. The three charges include making false. statements on a federal firearms form. and possession of a firearm as a. prohibited person.
Biden's now getting very old. He's not getting old now, he's been old. He's been old, but now the laser focus on him has made. people realize. how. old he is. He's confused. He was wandering around. He has probably early onset dementia, or. like that. And they don't know what to They got to. get rid of him. They're trying. The.
powers that be I don't believe want him. I I think they believe he's too much of. a liability now and that someone else. could look that someone else could win. and maybe open an investigation into any. of these things, right? The Russia gate. hoax or. whatever the hell's going on in Ukraine. with the Biden family. Like there are. people that don't want There's members. of the political establishment that do. not want somebody coming in there, especially an outsider flinging up the. the flinging up in the all these files. and going what the hell's been going on. here. They they don't want that.
The only reason to really run Biden at. his age is to continue some kind of. cover-up. I mean, this isn't I mean, think about it rationally and ignore. politics for a minute. The only reason. you have a guy wandering around a stage. that can't speak is because you're. terrified of whoever comes in next. Mhm. There's no reason that you would have. prop this corpse up unless you weren't. scared that the person that came in next. would be able to like start. digging up dirt, you know? Do you have.
the thing where Biden he. Yeah, he wandered off. Well, they abruptly end his press. conference. Yeah. It's really. it's really weird. Yes, hold on a sec. This was in Vietnam. earlier this week. What? By the way, so I was talking to a. friend of mine about this on Shelter. Island and he made a good point. He's. like, it's kind of like elder abuse. Right. Right. It's like elder abuse. You know, people. in his family keep putting him out in. front of the podium and keep making him. talk.
Mhm. And there's almost like some weird thing. where friend of mine made a point where. it was like. maybe Hunter Biden's like abusing his. dad. Like, you [ __ ] shut the [ __ ] up. and like because you know, Biden having. the power of the presidency is maybe one. of the reasons all these dominoes aren't. falling, right? Mhm. And I think Hunter Biden knows that. I. mean, he's probably telling his dad like, you. have to support me. You have to back me. You have You know.". I mean, so take a look at Biden here. It's crazy. And I I actually, by the.
way, kind of feel bad for Biden because. he's so old. He doesn't know what he's doing. He's. like a pawn. Yeah. in in something. And And I mean, he's been. you know, a pretty consistent demon. legislatively and every other way his. whole life. I'm not saying he shouldn't. We should feel bad for him like like. many of them, you know. I mean, that being said, I I truly don't. believe he knows where he is. I think. we've we've gotten to a point where. it's an apolitical statement to make. This is not a political statement. Poll.
after poll says majority of like. Democrats want another option because. the guy is [ __ ] ancient. Mhm. But I don't think he knows where he is. So, then the question is why is this. going on? It's not enough that they just don't. have another person. That's not enough. Right. That's not enough. There's There's. There's people. They're not great, but. the Republicans don't have anyone great. either, right? Except Trump who's been. indicted a bunch of times, right? He's. He's the only one with the gravitas to. kind of, you know, get in the ring and. he'd be a formidable candidate. The rest.
of them are bombing. DeSantis is. deflated, you know, Nikki Haley, Vivek. Ramaswamy. It's not. So, the Democrats have governors. They. have people. They have senators. They. have congress people. Um. I think it's got to be something else. It's got to be another reason. that. this guy they have to run this guy. again. It seems weird to me. It seems odd. And I don't know what it is. But take a. look at this. It's uh.
weird. about what we talked about at the. conference overall. We talked about. stability. We talked about making sure. that the third world the uh excuse me, third world. The uh the the uh. the southern hemisphere had access to. change had access we it wasn't. confrontational at all. It became a very. strange. Thank you everybody. This ends the town. press conference. Thanks everyone. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, so he's saying the third world is. not the third world. He doesn't know.
what he's talking about. Look at it, the. jazz music plays as he leaves. How beautiful is this? Look at him. He has no idea where he is. He doesn't know where he is. He doesn't know where he is. He doesn't know where he is. The poor. guy, they're telling they're talking. about his son. He's walking off to jazz. Is that the music they played in the. room? I mean, Jesus Christ. Play his. exit one more time. It's one of the. greatest things I've ever seen with the. jazz music. I thought that was dubbed. in. No, no, no.
The fact that this is the real music. playing as this guy leaves is the. craziest thing I've ever seen. Talk. about the sun setting on the empire. I. mean, watch this. Thank you. Thank you. He's talking, he's not even in the mic.
And then he just walks off to jazz. Just some fun soft jazz. Thank you for watching the quiet storm. Yeah, I mean, it's uh it's. terrible that uh he's in the state he's. in and nobody's rescuing him. He needs. to be rescued. Mhm. This is a SEAL Team Six rescue mission. and the only way to rescue him.
is to like get him, put him out of his. misery. I mean, not kill him, but like. get him out of get him out of the. [ __ ] Oval Office. Let the guy be I mean, we really torture people in this. country. You know? We don't ever let it. end. We don't ever let it end in this. country. How old is that guy? Uh. late 70s, right? That guy's in his late 70s, and you. know, someone came to him and they're. like, "The country is calling, you know? You have to answer.".
He's 80, jeez. He's 80. And you know, they tell him every day, they're like, "History is calling, sir.". You know, like, will you And he's like, Like, history. Because it it's just the. people behind the scenes are running the. whole thing, and. Mhm. I mean, you could tell the way he walks. off the stage, I mean, god, he's old. He's not going to win. And they can't run him. And I believe. that's what they're thinking now. But they can't run Amy Klobuchar cuz she. ate a salad with a comb once. Remember. when they didn't have a fork and Amy. Klobuchar, she threw a staple remover.
assistant's head and ate a salad with a. fork? I'm sorry, with a comb. She ate a. salad with a comb. Out. Uh Elizabeth. Warren is a joke. She's a literal. punchline. Pete Buttigieg. is a CIA gay, which is probably not the. most attractive right now. He took 3. months off. to raise a child he did not have. I mean, that seems odd, and I'm I'm all. for gay people being parents if they're. good at it, but like, taking 90 days off.
while trains are derailing and they're. spilling waste all over [ __ ] Ohio or. wherever the hell it is, Pennsylvania. Um it's uh. it's crazy. So, it's just an ugly reality now that they. don't have anyone. Sanders is too old. Gavin Newsom is probably their best bet, even though he's hated. Mhm. And he's the governor of a hated state, which he's made quite a mess of. But they cannot run this guy. And then. we have Kamala, who's incapable of.
communicating, uh is a prosecutor, a. cop, you know, Democrats love that. A resident of the hated state, California. Doesn't she have a white. husband? Yeah, right. So, I mean, it's. across-the-board. She doesn't check any. of the boxes, right? She. It's just not. cool. Nobody's into it, you know? Nobody's. into it, and that's unfortunate. You know what I was saying the other day. to somebody I was having lunch with. somebody. And I said, 35% of all fatal car.
accidents occur between 6:00 p.m. and. midnight. They said, "No way.". I said, "People aged 25 to 34 have the. highest amount of drivers involved in. car crashes. They People aged 15 to 24. have the highest rate of emergency room. visits due to car accidents of all age. groups." They were like, "What?". I said, "Morgan & Morgan is I was. getting ready to like we were having. lunch. I was kind of just going, and. they were like, "What?" But. I told them I said, "Morgan & Morgan is. America's largest injury firm. They have. 100 offices nationwide, more than 800. lawyers.". I said, "With over 15 billion dollars.
recovered from over 300,000 clients, Morgan & Morgan has a proven track. record of fighting to get you full and. fair compensation." At this point, they. were going, "What's wrong with you? Stop. I just want to have lunch.". I said, "Morgan & Morgan has been. fighting for the people for over 35. years. Submitting an injury claim with. Morgan & Morgan is easy.". I'm telling you right now, people are going to get injured. I don't. want it to happen. No one wants it to. happen, but it's going to happen because. this is life. That's profound. Now, you need lawyers to get get what's.
yours, get what's rightfully yours out. there. Um. So, I'm telling you. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan &. Morgan is easy, baby. Trying to predict. which celebrity will be roasted on my. next episode is hard. Ugh, God, I hate. when they write it. They're so bad. Stop. [ __ ] writing. Be lawyers. Ugh. Ugh. But, it's a good law firm, folks. They.
don't charge you unless they win. and. isn't that what life's about? It's. winning. If you're ever injured, you can. check out Morgan & Morgan. Their fee is. free unless they win. For more. information, go to forthepeople.com. TIM. forthepeople.com/tim. or dial pound law pound 29 from your. cell phone. That's forthepeople.com/tim. or pound law pound 529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. Lauren Boebert was kicked out of. Beetlejuice the musical uh the traveling.
The thing about musicals is when they um. leave Broadway or even when they are. still on Broadway, but I think it's when they close, but. maybe Beetlejuice is still open. I don't. know. like a national tour. Yeah, I was on one of those years ago. for Annie Get Your Gun when I was 11 and. my mother went with me for like 3. months. We toured around the country. And then, you know, in the real Annie. Get Your Gun on Broadway, the Gina Davis. was the star. She was a movie star and. she played Annie Oakley. And then we had this woman who was like. this Ethel Merman impersonator.
Uh. and she was, you know, the touring. version of the musical often it's a far. fall. Mhm. You know what I mean? On Broadway, a. musical have like Josh Groban, and then. when it goes on tour around the country, it'll be like Joey Fatone. Like it's a. it's a. apocalyptic. Mhm. fall in terms of the cast. But. they didn't deserve this. Whatever she. was doing, she got kicked out of. Beetlejuice the musical.
for causing a disturbance. She was in the theater, I think, vaping, talking. They cited an incident report it. obtained in which representatives of the. Buell Theatre in downtown Denver said a. group of people were asked to leave. after vaping, singing, recording, and. causing a disturbance. Well, they were getting into it. She's a. hillbilly. You got to let her get into it a little. bit. She's a hillbilly. You know, that's the thing. I don't. really want to defend her here, but she. is a hillbilly and there is a culture.
they have. And some of it is kind of singing along. and vaping. and stopping their feet and doing like. hand bone and jug bands and stuff. I. mean, this isn't not a woman who's like. seeing shows at the West End the West. End of London or on Broadway. I mean, she's a heck she's a straight-up. hillbilly and I'm not saying that in a. disrespectful manner, you know, publicly. Uh privately I am, but I'm just saying. like. this is who she is. That's her culture.
It's a kind of sing along and be a loud. she's a classless animal is what I mean. Like so it it. but. you know, I don't know. Was was she. being that disruptive? I don't know. I. wasn't in the theater. She probably was. But that's the thing. She's unaware. Like the only reason she's going to see. any type of theater is cuz it's. Beetlejuice. That's it. The only shows that Lauren Boebert would. ever go see are movies she's seen. before.
Uh you know, she's never going to. she would she wasn't going to go see. like The Ferryman on Broadway the Jez. Butterworth a brilliant Sam Mendes thing. that Gaffigan told me to see and I saw. three times. It was amazing. She's not going to go see Death of a. Salesman Lauren Boebert. She's not going. to go see A View from the Bridge. She's not going to go see Shakespeare in. the Park. She's not like oh Othello is. playing? Let's go see Othello. She wants. to see Beetlejuice. She's a hillbilly. I'm not saying it there's anything wrong.
with Beetlejuice, but there probably is. I haven't seen it. I'm guessing. I'm sure it's fun. Sure it's fun and goofy and silly. But that's the only theater. I almost side with her here. She's trying. Like. she's trying. She's a Waffle House. employee. She's a a bartender. She's And And don't. hit me with the glasses horse [ __ ] of. like. well, she could still be brilliant. She.
ain't. She ain't. Yes, you could you could work at. Applebee's and be a genius. You could. you'd not. Most likely. I'm guessing. Law of averages. She's a a goon. Her and her husband beat the [ __ ] out of. each other on their lawn. The cops come. to the house. Uh. She's like Sarah Palin 3.0. She's getting divorced because they.
can't stop beating each other up. They. can't stop, I don't know. Smashing the windows of each other's. cars out with [ __ ] bats they find. around. I mean, they're like a fun. couple. The sex is probably really fun. Because then they attack each other with. like weapons. You know, you know that. she's been barricaded in the bathroom. And then she goes and talks about family. values and how important they are. And. you know her kids are SCREAMING AND. CRYING, AND HE'S LIKE, "I CAN'T OPEN THIS DOOR.". YOU KNOW THERE'S BEEN A MOMENT in her.
house where her kids are in their rooms. They're terrified. They're They're. locked in their rooms. They're. terrified. And they're screaming and she's in the. bathroom and he's kicking the door and. he's like, "Open this [ __ ] door. Open. this [ __ ] door." Make no mistake, that's her home life. That's her home life. She's probably. thrown around. And for good reason, she's probably got a mouth on her. She's probably got a mouth on her. And. for good reason, she's probably thrown. around. Let's be honest. No, let's be very honest. Now, this is a. very I often get into problems here on.
this show because I just speak. extemporaneously. But she's got a mouth on her and there's. probably a reason she gets shoved in the. kitchen. There's she It's not a out of nowhere. shoving. Okay? When Lauren Boebert trips going. down the back steps, it's not for no. reason. She has a toxic mouth. And and I don't I am not and I can't. believe I have to say it's amazing that. I have any representation in this town.
because occasionally I have to say. things like this. I am not defending. hitting women, but. Lauren Boebert is not getting shoved. accidentally. She doesn't have to lock herself in the. bathroom accidentally. She's not getting. chased when he chases her in a car when. her husband, I think his name is Jason, I forget, but when her husband gets in. the car and he chases her around. Okay, it's not by accident. She's she's. she's a live wire. She's a problem.
She insults him. She probably talked. [ __ ] about his dick. I'm guessing cuz she's not going for. like deep intellectual things, but that. hurts him. You can't say [ __ ] about his. dick. Can't talk about Jason Boebert's dick. Is it Jason Boebert? Yes. So this woman, who again had to leave. her house. because. of family values and she was getting she. was far mouth. was getting her into she was her mouth.
was as an as a black older woman would. say her mouth. um was writing checks that she couldn't. cash, right? Because. Jason was probably he had had enough of. her. He had enough of her. And she's probably like, I'm going to. end up dead. I bet one day he looked at her and it. was like it was like full OJ eyes. Like. I'm going to cut your [ __ ] head off. and put it on a pike. And again, not for. nothing, not for no reason. She was probably very inappropriate.
And she said I'm going to I'm going to. die here. I got to go. And she's just. trying to go to Beetlejuice cuz she's a. hillbilly. She's a hillbilly with a big mouth who. brings whoopings on herself. that she does kind of deserve. And she's also in Congress. She's also in Congress. Let's not leave. that out. She's the elected. representative of the state of Colorado. Whatever that means. Whatever that. means. BUT I HAVE NO INTEREST in that. I only look at a character study.
She is a saucy, sexy bartender who knows. how to [ __ ]. She knows how to get on a dick and ride. it. She can make a man come, which is. more than I can say for some of these. squawking liberal up in the northeast. where all sex is death. I'm just saying. I I'm not even having sex with women. I'm hearing it. I'm hearing it. People. talk to me. They share things with me. So you get a little spicy hillbilly like. Lauren Boebert who's been [ __ ] since. she's 12. She is a. She's a real southern.
carnival [ __ ] and in a good way. In a. good way. It makes a man hard when a. when a woman knows how to [ __ ] and will. [ __ ] She will suck a [ __ ] She will get. on her knees and she will suck a [ __ ]. and she doesn't care if you've showered. You don't need to shower. She likes a. little spice. She likes a little spice. She can snap. Your eyes will roll back. in your head. She knows how to [ __ ] but. she's also got a mouth and she's going. to get you in jail. She's going to get.
you in jail. Those northeastern cold. liberal women will plot the destruction. of your life for years. And then they'll. take everything from you. You won't even. know it happened. They'll just end up. somewhere in a [ __ ] bungalow in. Florida and you'll be in some apartment. going, "What the [ __ ] hap You won't even. know." You won't even know. But Boebert, it's just it's she's she's a spicy, saucy, dangerous woman who will make you. kill her. She will not stop until you.
kill her. That's the type of lady she is. She's going to just say the wrong thing. and you're going to want to kill her. And she's in Beetlejuice. She's trying to have fun with her. friends. Her friends are also puerile. white trash garbage people. They have no education, they have no. class, they have no distinction. But. what I will say about them, they're. probably all decent [ __ ] and they like. drugs and alcohol. And you know what? I. don't mind any of that. I can't do it.
anymore, but they're not the. Hanging out with Lauren Boebert is not. the least fun you will have. It is not. the least fun you will have. Lauren Boebert cuz she's ALL LIKE, "GAY. MARRIAGE GOT TO GO and there shouldn't. be no abortions and everybody and the. JEWS ARE RUNNING AROUND [ __ ] WITH. EVERYBODY AND THE THE MORAL CODE." But. she'll get on her knees and suck your. [ __ ] after she's done a line off of it. She's an old-school.
[ __ ] like, you know, barmaid from. Dusk till Dawn, get on the bar, vampire core and that's important. And the the thing about her is. a woman like that, she's destined for. something. I don't know where Lauren. Boebert goes, but I like that she's. still. cuz she doesn't respect theater. She's. like, "These [ __ ] [ __ ] they going. to make me laugh and they better dance. and I'm going to [ __ ] do what I I. don't even know if she talks like this, but she does, you know, but she doesn't,
but I don't care. But the point is it's. not like she respects the art of. theater. She's there to see Beetlejuice. She's a hillbilly who just had to. divorce her husband cuz if not he was. going to cut her head off. He was going. to kill her. And this woman's destined for something. I don't know what it is. It could be a. bad end, it might be a great end. Maybe. one day she'll lead us all. I don't. know. She's not like Lightfoot who's iconic. She doesn't have an I she's not iconic. We can't put her on a pedestal. We.
cannot worship her. We worship Lori. Lightfoot who just started teaching at. Harvard and watch your ass, I'm. enrolling. We cannot put her on a. pedestal and worship her as the be-all. and end-all and you know, the the. greatest politician maybe in my lifetime. is is the great Lori Lightfoot. I mean. that. Boebert shows promise. She shows. promise. She's a spicy carnival [ __ ]. And I like that and that's something. there's something to be said for that. There's something to be said for a woman. um.
who has that thing because they don't. the thing about people like her. is they they they tend not to care. about how like there she doesn't have. the ability. to. play any type of long game. It's doesn't. happen her. People like her are very. interesting to watch. Uh they can't play. the long game at all. They are they are. just victims of their environment and.
circumstances which they've created. They create their environment and. circumstances. And they just kind of get. thrown around and knocked about and they. react in crazy ways and they're all fun. to watch and they people like that. either get pretty successful because. they're they get to be pretty adept at. riding the waves that they've created or. they just get you know, knocked around. too much and you know, you never see. them again. We don't know. We do not know. My mother's art is not a joke and it. will be for sale and we will and by the.
way, I'm on tour. I don't know if anyone. knows that. But I'm coming to Cincinnati, Ohio. I'm. coming to Lexington, Kentucky. I'm. coming to Davenport, Iowa, Des Moines, Iowa, Omaha, Nebraska, Sacramento, Perth. in Australia, Perth, Adelaide, Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, Auckland, New. Zealand, Christchurch, New Zealand, Rochester, New York, New York, New York, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Houston, Texas, Detroit, Michigan, Toronto, Ontario Um, then Brea for New Year's, we're going to maybe grab we're going to.
add to Boston, to Florida. early January, you know, we are going to. do a lot of those things. It's. interesting. It's interesting when you. look at the character studies of some of. these people and how they're going to. react. Uh, you know, like the the better version of. like Boebert is like Kristi Noem from. uh, Dakota who's a little bit more who. Chris Matthews said Trump would probably. tap as his uh, vice president. The RFK. and Sherrod interview is doing very.
well. RFK made a lot of cool points and. I I I made a you know, the we had a. blackout and I'm like, all right, but we. were trying to kill him and then the. media ran with that because nobody. wants to talk about that guy's points. Josh Brown called him out from CNBC was. like, you know, Vanguard, State Street. and BlackRock represent millions of. regular people and. and then I was like, but you know, me. and Rick Comp were talking and it's. like, RFK, if you want to get any traction, needs to get rougher and tougher and be. like, I'm going to put Larry Fink in.
jail. I'll kill him. I'll kill Larry Fink. Like, he's got to. look, Trump won by saying the most. outlandish things. I'll put you in jail. cuz you'd be in jail. Remember the. things he said? He's RFK's being a little too. statesman-like. I think he's got to go. out there and he's really got to say, I'm going to put these people in jail. I'll put them in jail. I'll shut down their companies. You know, I'm going to I'll kill them. all. I'll kill them all. I'm going to kill. them.
Well, how do you stop them from doing. that? We kill them. I'll kill them. If he said, on day one, on day one of my. bread, you remember Game of Thrones. where. the scene where Ned Stark was beheaded. in front of his daughter. Who is his. daughter? Sansa. Sansa. And Sansa fell down because she saw her. father beheaded. I will behead Larry Fink in front of his. daughter. on the first day of the presidency. On. day one, day one of my presidency,
I'll behead Larry Fink in front of his. daughter, and she will collapse. like Sansa Stark, that scene in Game of. Thrones. I'll cut his [ __ ] I'll cut. his head off. And then I'll And I'll cut everybody's. head off until people start listening. But that's. It's fun to imitate, but I can't keep. doing it cuz then I will sound like. that. And by the way, even though the voice might be a little. tough, you got to listen to him because. he says a lot of interesting things. I. got to be I think he's the best.
candidate in the race. I know that that. might sound crazy. He seems like the most interesting. candidate in the race. Just invite me to the compound. I just want to go to the compound. Hyannis Port. Can they book me to do a show at the. Kennedy compound? By the way, here's how. my career would and should end. If I was booked to do a show at the. Kennedy compound in Hyannis Port, I. might retire. It might be the end. I've been doing.
this I'm I'm 38 years old. I started when I'm 25. I've mortgaged. years of my life to just get funny. enough and good enough to to hopefully. do something people enjoy. And I started it I had $0. I had no. money, and I was. coming out of an industry that was. dissolving, and I was living in a shitty. apartment. I had all these credit. problems and. blah blah blah. Who cares? Fast forward. If I got booked,
if I was standing there doing comedy in. front of the entire Kennedy family. at the Kennedy compound in Hyannis Port, it is my Madison Square Garden. It. wouldn't be a good show. I wouldn't It. wouldn't go that well. It wouldn't. matter. It It doesn't matter. You see, it's not. about that. It would be fine. I'd have some of the room some of the. time. Put it that way. It wouldn't be a kill box to Kennedy. compound in Hyannis Port. It's probably.
uptight. You know, every time a bird flies by, everybody goes. But it would be kind of a fitting way to. end it all and just go, "Listen, I. I'm done as a stand-up comedian here. because I've reached the heights. of what I could do.". Because it is a joke I would have made. years ago. I would have said something. like. Uh people say, "Where where's what you. got as a stand-up comedian?" Yeah, I. want to do the Kennedy compound, Labor. Day. I want to do the Labor Day Kennedy.
compound. But it would be hilarious. Now, it's not. going to happen, but it would be. hilarious. And I probably wouldn't quit. cuz I'm some a dumb addict who would. just keep doing crap anyway. You just. keep doing stuff. But. it would be something to think about if. I shot a special there. Live at the. Kennedy compound. And it would be a. 70-minute special. It wouldn't be good. But it would be fascinating to just see. the Kennedy Everyone just sitting there. in white. Yeah. You know, it's Labor Day. They're all. sitting there.
You know? What if I did Bobby's voice the whole. time and killed? Murdered. Murdered. It's interesting. It's interesting these families and the. way they operate. And some of them. sustain and some of them last for years. and years and years. That's what the. Boeberts of the world can't do. They. They They don't get long game. They. don't They can't put their put their. emotions down. The Kennedys, the Bushes, the these dynasties, they don't just. happen. You have to learn how to control. your emotions. So you can hate the elites. You can hate.
the hate the East Coast establishment. You can But then you can find this. strain of human being in Texas. You can. find them in California. The people that. are able to subordinate their emotions. They're able to kind of shut their. emotions off and then and you know, basically kind of. play the long game, you know? And that's. something that the Lauren Boeberts of. the world can't do. That's what makes. them so fun. But, you know, I don't know. if they will endure. Like Lori Lightfoot could it was not. endure. She was a flash in the pan. She.
was fun and she's gone. There's no. Lightfoot dynasty. They don't know how to do it. There. There is a way to do it. That's the. thing. There is an actual way to to be a. politician for generations in this. country as it's presently constituted. I'm not saying that's a good thing. I'm. saying that's a thing. That there is a. way to do it. There's. Lauren Boebert can't even Think about. this. We have dynasties that have assassinated.
presidents, engaged in drug running, human trafficking, fixing elections. This [ __ ] can't not get kicked out of. Beetlejuice. You're not going to make it. You won't. make it. You will not make it. It will not. happen. It will not happen. If you can't figure out a way to not. make the news for getting out of. Beetlejuice, how are you going to. assassinate a president or run a fake. war or flood the streets of Washington.
D.C. with crack or all the other things. our leaders have done to stay where they. are? Who invented crack? The Sacklers? Goodnight, everyone.
