The Tim Dillon Show #336

I love bespoke posts because basically. what you do is you you go to you go to. box of awesome.com you take a quick quiz. and you know whoever you're giving this. to or you're giving it to yourself. basically you're getting a box every. single month with a bunch of cool stuff. in it okay. um and you never know what it's going to. be but it's all from small up and coming. Brands. manufactured in America and that's what. you want you know. um so when you get this box it's so cool. it's a great surprise and it could have. everything it could have outdoorsy stuff. it could have like uh you know stuff to.

make drinks it could have like uh you. know you know fishing stuff or you know. uh boating stuff maybe it's a like a. some type of compass or something like. that. um but it's cool you know it's a fun. gift it's something you see you open it. up and go oh God you know like look at. this you know. um you know and you don't you don't know. what it'll be from month to month that's. the cool part you open it up and you go. oh my God you know it could be a fun.

[ __ ] thing Man it could be cool you. know it's just and sometimes it'll be. something where you don't quite know why. you're getting it you know but it's just. there you know I had one box that came. to me because I have it subscribe to box. of awesome I love it love it love it. one of my boxes this is wild was just. hair I had no idea whose it was hair and.

a vial of blood. so this is what I mean about like always. being like huh. so get 20 off your first monthly box. when you sign up at box of awesome.com. and enter the code Tim Dillon at. checkout that's box of awesome.com code. Tim Dylan for 20 off your first box box. of awesome.com code Tim Dillon ladies. and gentlemen welcome to the 10 million. show I am in mourning right now I am. incredibly upset I'm usually not.

as upset but today is a tough day. um we're mourning the loss of a legend a. woman who's meant a lot to this show. someone who. has been an inspiration to me someone. who has been an inspiration to Millions. to young women and young men and people. of and young non-binary people everybody. uh regardless of their gender has been. impacted by this woman. um. it is a sad day in America but a very.

sad day in Chicago. um because we have lost. one of the best. um an advocate. for chaos. an advocate for chaos. a woman whose reign in Chicago came to. symbolize chaos. in in the way that only a Batman villain. could like a Dick Tracy villain.

like this woman presided over. an increase in crime that was. just I mean it was mind-blowing like the. numbers just kept and she was a petty. vindictive woman she went to war with. limo companies she wrote bad Yelp. reviews she was nasty to employees the. first lesbian mayor of color in Chicago. uh gotta put that in there she's a uh.

and God God love her for that we. appreciate it um but this is a woman I. never thought of her as you know I never. thought of her sexuality I never thought. of even her race I thought only of what. animates her the true. um you know Spirit of Lori Lightfoot uh. is is really as a spirit of Chaos. um and let's take a look at her right. now this is her and all her glory this.

is how I'll always remember her. please. there she is. [Music]. vote vote vote. yep. here she is celebrating Chicago having. the highest murder rate in the country.

it's. I mean this woman. I I don't want to lose her I do not want. to lose this woman. I mean. God love her it's sad. all right well. people are listening they don't see them. that they're not getting the benefit of. this visual so we'll turn this down but. uh God I mean there's no one better than. Lori Lightfoot can we go to her speech. when she left you know Lori Lyford for.

those of you who don't know was the. mayor of the city of Chicago the great. City of Chicago which is descending into. a hellscape uh how many murders last. year in Chicago just out of curiosity if. we can get that Up Chicago a violent. crime there has been a major problem. there are like they were large one of my. favorite stories was like there's large. gangs of teenagers uh groups of. teenagers just running through um you. know the Midtown of Chicago the Miracle. Mile whatever you call it and they're. just robbing couples and you know you. know just creating chaos I think they're.

working for Lightfoot like I think the. kids are because here's what she's got. to do now Lori now that she has been. evicted from her uh position she's been. taken out Lori now has to wage a war. against the city from the outside. because for many years she was waging a. war against the city from the inside but. now she's now from the outside has to. like make sure the city stays as crime.

ridden and filthy. from the outside she's just got a launch. attacks. coordinating attacks the year of 2021. Ended as one of the most violent on. record in Chicago a rise in the number. of shootings left more people dead than. in any single year and a quarter century. according to statistics. released by the police on Saturday. 797 homicides.

20 more 25 more than were recorded in. 2020. it's about 800 homicides how many. a day is 365 days in a year almost like. three a day yeah there's about three. people a day in Chicago checking out. and uh you know this was also you got to. remember Lori Lightfoot went wild with. the vaccine she was threatening people. saying if you don't take the vaccine. your time has come we'll put you in jail. you know we're gonna find you again this. was the language of a of a villain this.

was the language of like an all-powerful. mob boss it was not a governor here we. go. um yeah she did not [ __ ] around when it. came to the vaccine she was like. nazi-ish she wanted everybody to get it. and if you didn't get it she did that. whole thing get up that thing where she. goes we'll put you in jail yeah that was. my favorite one where she goes we'll put. you in jail. she goes we will put you in jail and it. was just like you saw that was like the. Zenith of state power during the.

pandemic when people were just coming. right out and saying if there is. anything you do that we disagree with we. are going to put you in jail and that. was like I remember people sending that. to me going like this is going to really. like be a huge problem for this woman. and it was you know people you play that. back now it seems so insane. um here it is right here.

this is Lori Lightfoot we will shut you. down we will cite you and if we need to. we will arrest you and we will take you. to jail period there should be nothing. unambiguous about that you mean nothing. ambiguous treat you like a criminal but. if you act like a criminal and you. violate the law and you refuse to do. what is necessary to save lives in the. city in the middle of a pandemic we will.

take you to jail get up here get up when. she did Rona Destroyer I just this is a. montage of Lori Lightfoot I I am so sad. to be losing this woman I hope she runs. for governor. I pray that Lori Lightfoot runs for. governor. looks trick-or-treating will be. happening in Chicago this year. [Laughter]. yeah that's Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot.

coming out in full costume cape and mask. is the Rona as in Corona Destroyer. heading out Kenny to reporters and staff. at our daily news conference. trick-or-treaters will be asked to stay. in groups of six or fewer there avoid. sticking their hands into any candy. bowls and of course wear a mask with a. mask over. man she's a symbol of the pandemic isn't. she Lori Lightfoot I think now Cove is. finally over. I mean I know the state of emergency was.

lifted in LA but with Lori Lightfoot. leaving. it's like the state like it really is. over. this is finally done. with Lori Lightfoot. being voted out. this is sad let's look at our concession. speech here. she doesn't even seem present in her own. body. for the concession speech again so much. Mayhem. so much chaos.

so bloody. this woman was the ultimate villain the. only this is the type of Mayor Chicago. should have it's one of the most corrupt. cities in the world and there's. absolutely no way it should be run by. anyone left like anyone less than a. complete utter uh crime uh boss which is. what she is. she is like you know. somebody who from uh like the Ninja.

Turtles would have to invade her Lair. let's see how she conceded the election. we. uh for the people of the city for years. to come I'm grateful that we work. together to remove a record number of. guns off our streets we're doing we're. due homicides and started making real.

progress on Public Safety well she. didn't she didn't reduce homicide I mean. that's but who cares at this point and I. don't know what gun she's talking about. that are off the street certainly not. the 900 you know murders she didn't. really reduce any homicides but now she. can live with her wife and be happy and. like. you know just she was the mayor of. Chicago you know she'll just always. She'll always be able to tell people. like later on she'll be on some like. lesbian cruise and they're like what did. you do and she'll go I was the mayor of.

Chicago and you go Laurie was the mayor. of Chicago she just cheated at cards. Laurie was the mayor of Chicago because. she's corruption is the DNA of Chicago. and it runs through this woman's veins. no matter what she does any any time in. her life. she will always try to lie and this is. what I love about her so much is that no. matter what Lori life I mean she. literally just said we we we we we uh we. what about homicide she goes we decrease.

homicides they were at the highest level. in 25 years but it doesn't matter she'll. always try to lie first that's what I. love about her she just it's her in you. can tell when you look at her she's. burning inside because she doesn't know. what's true anymore because there's so. much she's lied so many times. did you ever see the thing where the the. guy he just lists everything in Chicago. it's Lori Lightfoot she refuses to. answer a question and it's great you.

have a guy who basically comes up and. goes here's the issue the crime's up. this is up they don't want companies are. leaving Chicago nobody wants to be here. anymore and Lori Lightfoot stands there. and goes I'm just not gonna answer that. question. um. you got to remember the fashion choices. too she wore these big balloon pants she. dressed up during the St Patrick's Day. Parade they were saying on Twitter that. she looked like that movie Leprechaun in.

the Hood they were saying she looked. like Leprechaun in the Hood. um it was she was trolling everyone or. she wasn't. she had these weird balloon pants these. baggy like Janko jeans but they were. pants that she would wear and they like. never fit her. this is a kid who dressed up as her. but I mean I'm really gonna be sad to. see her go man.

try to get that up where she refuses to. answer the question where she literally. just looks at the guy and she goes I I. disagree with your assessment entirely. and he just listed. facts about what was happening in. Chicago and she goes I just disagree. with your assessment uh entirely but I. mean it's sad man it's sad to lose her. because she became such a symbol of uh. the type of political leader that we. have. um in America now where truth is.

irrelevant okay this is great Lightfoot. now screams this is this was another one. but this is also great he or she is. screaming at a reporter over a question. about crime God I love her. other right-wing nuts can try to. characterize it any possible excuse me. is that appropriate yeah is that. appropriate I mean Kelly. mayor Lightfoot. the people that I speak with in Chicago. every day tell me that they're very.

frustrated with your lack of a plan to. combat violent crime. [Music]. it sounds more like you support or. sympathize with the the so you you may. not have heard the admonition at the. beginning of this press conference and. frankly. hold on sir it's specific to you. ask a question and I'd be happy to. respond but if you continue to come in.

here and spout a lot of nonsense and. rhetoric if that's not a question and. not acting like a journalist then I'm. not going to have any time for you. you've had a whole room of people that. you're Holding On by not asking a. question and I know you like to film me. and then you like to go on Fox News. filming you yeah so I might want to. reporter what I want you to do is ask a. question sir don't give me your right. wing nonsense and spewing of facts that.

are completely untethered from the. reality just ask the question that's all. I'm asking you ask a question so we can. move on well I'm not the only reporter. filming ask a question. right what's your question the obvious. question is simply this. there are numerous uh. violent crimes here in the city of. Chicago right last night a teenager was. shot in the head uh on our beautiful. Lake Front people around the city the.

state and not only the country but. around the world I'm going to ask you to. Chicago. [Music]. a question or we're moving she's like. yeah I shot that [ __ ]. they're like um some teenager was shot. Lori's like on my orders I had it done. I'm the boss this is when Oswald get up. Oswald cobblepot running for mayor of. Gotham City this is when the penguin ran. Gotham City like Lori Lightfoot staring. at him he's like he goes I don't.

understand you don't have a plan to. combat the crime. she's like yeah I am the criminal. I wonder if we can play this or if. YouTube's gonna like you know send. someone to our homes. it's getting so bad over there you you. can't do anything they'll send people. after you in the Street YouTube If you. play the wrong thing you're fit they'll. call and threaten your family we're. trying to stay the world anyway don't. play it it's just you get it folks if.

you've seen Batman Returns. the point is that Lightfoot symbolize. the type of politician. where they didn't even try to lie uh in. a way that would make the citizenry feel. comfortable this is an important. transition It's actually an important. transition in the way things are kind of. uh crumbling uh when someone like her. basically went out warts and all. imperfect. came out and was like listen I'm kind of.

a criminal so I'm not going to sit in. Judgment of other people that were. criminals. um and now listen you have many many. liars that occupy uh offices all over. the place from Congress to the governors. but there was something special about. this woman in in in my heart I like. Petty people and when she did the thing. and you could go back and listen to that. old episode where she ratted on her limo. company she literally made up that the.

driver of the limo company went and used. the bathroom in her home and then the. company goes we have cameras he didn't. enter your house once she's such a. vindictive liar. even on a tiny small scale this. infinitesimal scale of trying to get a. limo driver fired. she is just such a treat. she's such an utter treat. a um you know there's something so. comforting to me about her complete like.

obvious disdain for anyone who called. her out on anything anyone that would. mention a fact about Chicago the. shootings the murders the crime she. hated it she was like don't bring your. propaganda here and I love her [ __ ]. weird voice she had like she had this. weird like breathy voice where she'd be. like listen to me if you have a question. ask a question don't bring your Fox.

propaganda here don't bring your. propaganda. this strange kind of. like her voice box almost didn't want to. lie and she had to like force the breath. through it because like her body was. shutting down some of the lies that she. was telling and she what did she get 16. of the vote. God Laurie it was bad it was like at. least it was bad she got trounced. 17. 17.1 percent who are those people.

just committed criminals and I mean who. were the. who were the 17.1 percent of people that. voted for Lori Lightfoot like every. measurable standard Chicago's falling. into an uh it's a hellscape and 17.1. percent of people. I mean what was their slope did. Lightfoot of a slogan. did Lori have like a slogan.

everything even even her name's amazing. Lori Lightfoot just it's just the. alliteration you know Lori Lightfoot. there's just no one better. and I'm uh I'm sad to see her go you. know of all the people we [ __ ] talk on. this show. you know there was nobody that that I. loved and had a personal affinity for. more than Lori Lightfoot she just fit I. mean the fedoras she dressed like a. gangster again like somebody like Dick. Tracy would have to like I mean Lori.

Lightfoot epitomized she looked like a. gangster she was a gangster she lied she. you know obfuscated she wouldn't answer. questions and all around her things just. totally fell apart because she was a. petty vindictive Tyrant that would go to. war with people in her Inner Circle and. she would fight these tiny small battles. instead of focusing on real things that. could actually help people and there's. no better version of a politician than.

that to me it's just somebody who's like. it's all out in the open what they do. that's what made Lori Lightfoot so. special to me she was so bad at. concealing it she almost had no desire. to conceal it she just thought like. somehow it was gonna be okay you know. you've all you know seen a kid or maybe. you've been the kid who shows up to. class without homework and has no lie. nothing prepared they just go huh and. the teacher goes uh you have nothing and.

they go I yeah that was Lori Lightfoot. no dog ate my homework no oh I left it. in the car no it was 100. I don't have it and I don't remember you. even uh asking it uh asking me to do it. and I don't know what your problem is. and I'm just gonna stare at you from my. seed until you give up. and there's something about that I do. miss. uh I do miss her be smart don't start.

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those top five or something something. crazy. but then there's people that own. franchises of McDonald's all over the. place so McDonald's is doing these. celebrity meals now which I don't know. why they're doing this right I've never. fully understood why they're doing these. celebrity meals. were they and it's usually like uh J. Balvin had one. how many other people have had like. celebrity meals Travis Scott Travis. Scott had one yeah and I don't I don't. understand why they're doing but.

apparently they sell really well because. young people are like I want to eat. Travis Scott's meal. now they're doing a meal with cardi B. and offset and apparently. some of the franchisees at McDonald's. are upset because. they don't like the value system of. cardi being offsack because I don't know. she was a gang member used to drug dudes. it was a stripper or whatever who cares. who do you think's eating at McDonald's. who the hell do you think's eating at. McDonald's it's 14 year old kids that.

want to shoot people. the McDonald's biggest demo is young. kids who want to get into gangs. so why wouldn't you not give them a meal. give them a good meal. most like for example after them because. you we've all seen these fights it's you. know it's in the city and it's a. McDonald's I'm not I'm not because by. the way we we all know that white people.

are very violent and there's tons of. white trash and they fight in McDonald's. too okay but my point is that we've all. seen a McDonald's fight where it's in. the city. and the kids are just beating someone. they're just stopping a [ __ ] out. stopping on their face. now those kids afterwards want to eat. after the fight after the cops come and.

everybody runs away and the ambulance. comes and takes the one kid to the. hospital. and then oh the crowd. comes back because they're like I'm all. of that stomping on the face made me. hungry so they come back and they get. the cardi B meal and by the way what is. the cardi B offset meal what do you get. what's included oh it's a bundle so it's. like it's a valentine it's like a a. bundle for the young couples yeah so.

it's a classic cheeseburger with. barbecue sauce a large Coke and a. quarter pounder with cheese and a large. Hi-C orange lava good good. yet no one's gonna be offended by this. who would eat at McDonald's. if you are eating at McDonald's this is. not offensive to you you want more of it. if you're eating at McDonald's they. don't care it doesn't matter. it's a [ __ ] disgusting place where.

people that don't really have choices. eat. and they don't pay anywhere I love. McDonald's you're like we're morally. concerned with these rappers you don't. pay anyone. you don't pay anyone my mother knew a. woman named Marianne she worked at. McDonald's for years she had like five. kids and like she barely had any money. at all and she was like the manager of. McDonald's for like 40 years like and. she made nothing McDonald's pays [ __ ] in.

and out pays really well McDonald's. doesn't pay that well McDonald's poisons. everybody and I've eaten McDonald's. clearly but they poison people there's. sugar the fat the it's horrific it's. that meal could kill someone this cardi. B offset meal the calories in the meal. the sugar in the meal could kill someone. but they're not concerned about that.

they're concerned that it's there's. rappers promoting it so these. franchisees that are probably white and. they're from like Middle America and. they own McDonald's is are like we don't. want did cardi B being a meal because. it's not our values so they you know. who knows what they want they want a. proud boy meal probably which they want. to McDonald's will have but what's.

interesting is like um McDonald's pushed. back on the internet criticism noting. the feedback it has received. um. uh a court you know it is received the. collaboration with the rappers was. generating support and excitement among. his franchisees so like Hey listen. there's some feedback there's some. criticism but there's a lot more. excitement that's like what McDonald's. is saying what are people like what are. the franchisees saying that's disturbing. them so much here. I saw a good one once where this girl.

was popping [ __ ] in a McDonald's running. her mouth. and then a bunch of other girls. surrounded her in a circle and I think. they killed her. I all I think they killed her or maybe. paralyzed her. and and and because don't you understand. like this is McDonald's. yeah they have this golden arches code. the golden arches code of marketing. guidelines for store owners and.

employees Partnerships with celebrities. and influencers that have a potential. risk to damage our brand your brand. of poison the brand is poisoning. children that's McDonald's brand we. poison kids. um so people got met it's kind of a. culture shock thing when you consider. that McDonald's brand over the years. said dick Adams a former McDonald's. restaurant owner and consultant to. franchisees especially if you're a. franchise owner and you're 50 or six. years old you don't have any kids and.

haven't been exposed to the type of. these lyrics well because they're mad. because she does did that song wet ass. [ __ ]. right again I don't understand who they. think's eating at McDonald's it's single. mothers. it's people that are that it's like. someone who's eating at McDonald's okay. is probably if I had to demographic it. is a single mother from the hood sorry.

it is a single mom from the hood. at because we've done a horrible job in. this country uh providing a better. alternative at the price point right so. for the price point you probably have a. single mother from the hood eating at. McDonald's. and you know that's who's going there. you're not getting like people that are. flush with money McDonald now some. people occasionally will eat McDonald's. as a novelty but the people your your.

day ones like the people that are coming. in to eat all the time are not offended. by the wet ass [ __ ] lyrics in fact. they're wet ass [ __ ] has uh had several. illegitimate children pop out of it. which is why they're eating at. McDonald's. so it's just a matter of knowing who you. are as a brand it's just a matter of. knowing who you are as a brand like. McDonald's is a place that is catering. to people that that have problems they.

have issues you don't wanna you wanna. you don't want to hear that McDonald you. think it's wholesome you think it's. wholesome anymore I've watched people. get their heads cracked on your floor. these McDonald's fight can we get a. McDonald's fight up please there's. compilations on Worldstar look at this. this is the brand they're concerned with. damaging. get it.

yeah yep. let's go oh the fries wet. this is the brand they don't want to. damage. what are they fighting over the filet of. fish. this is the staff. there we go. there it is. what's McDonald's uh thing what is it. what's it called I'm loving it.

I'm loving it. look at somebody at the drive-through. well there you go this is uh this is the. brand that nobody wants damaged here uh. it's a [ __ ] and the people who eat. there are desperate and have no hope. that is your brand it is no longer like. a nice brand where young families go uh. if you're taking your kid to McDonald's. on the weekends it is not knowing what.

you know now is literally child abuse. you are abusing your child and the state. should take your child from you if you. go more than once a year our parents. used to take us all the time and. everybody I know is a morbidly obese. drug addict because of that okay so the. reality is uh McDonald's is a. grotesquery and anyone participating in. it. I kind of want it now though that I've. been talking about it for a little bit. but I mean this idea that they don't. like that their brand is being in free I. mean it's just it's just such a [ __ ].

like complete. misunderstanding of who eats at your. restaurant and why. truly and who works who's working there. it's a joke working at McDonald's. means that things are not good you do. not care about the cardi B meal and the. music that the offensive lyrics to the. song when you're working at McDonald's. trust me you've got bigger fish to fry. bigger filet of fish to fry everybody in.

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California has its share of problems and. really the reality is Florida is the. next uh this is the thing right so I. mean this is by the way so this is a. video of the lifestyle in Florida and. how it differs from California and how. it is beautiful and it is welcoming and. let's just take a look here at again. zero taxes uh beautiful climate Florida. it's terrifying video of an alligator. moving in for the kill he's about to. attack an unsuspecting 85 year old.

grandmother walking her dog by a lake. the horrifying drama at a retirement. community in Fort Pierce Florida was. caught on a wildlife camera oh my God. the alligator is better the victim's. frantic neighbor can be heard on this. just released 911. you don't I don't have anything to get. to her the call was made by 76 year old. Carol Thomas who was watching from her.

Lakefront home as glorious Serge was. attacked while walking her beloved dog. trooper. and the gator grabbed the dog and took. her fell down is she alive. she's alive. she's holding her in. her hands alike she fetched this pole to. try to pull the stricken woman to shore. too late oh my god. oh no I was trying to stick the hell out.

of her and I was calling you at the same. time and I she's wrong okay she's gone. it's horrible for her family it's hard. no state income tax what does this do. you think in La the cops aren't coming. anymore. the police aren't coming yeah they're. considering not sending them to a whole. bunch of cars sounds good. [Laughter]. sounds good Florida.

Rhonda Sanders. I'm gonna [ __ ] an old woman in Florida. and live with her because this state can. go to hell it is a disgusting it is. snowing and hailing and it is a. nightmare and everybody's like it's a. leg Yeah it's The Vibes in LA City it's. about sex in the last six baby.

and it's hailing and snowing and a. homeless person is smearing their bloody. [ __ ] on the [ __ ] window and it is a. night they are robbing people in broad. daylight here they're hopping in your. car putting a gun in your head and. saying here Florida. uh I'm going to Florida it is uh it's. not even warm anymore it's not even and.

everyone is has Stockholm syndrome. they're like well it's gonna get better. it's gonna get better it's gonna get. better it's gonna this is like a freak. thing it's a freak thing it's gonna get. better. of course it'll get better in the spring. that's the whole [ __ ] point. everywhere is nice in the [ __ ] spring. Christ almighty and now they're the cops. aren't even gonna come and and listen. sometimes that's good because the LAPD. is not exactly the best they're not. exactly always on point but you would. you know if somebody close so what what. what is it here's the list.

in its entirety can be found below these. are these are things cops won't come to. now some of them it might make sense. let's see non-criminal and or. non-violent homeless and public quality. of life calls okay so that might be. interesting and non-violent or. non-criminal homeless qualities so like. I have a homeless person in my yard. we don't need to send the cops for that. we you can just reason with the violence. schizophrenic and see what happens. non-criminal mental health cause.

makes sense there's a guy on your street. going like this. [Music]. what's the problem with that what's the. problem with that. or like you know some of them they walk. up and down the street and they're. literally talking to someone who's not. dead like oh [ __ ] you well. and you go yeah what's the problem with. that what's the problem with that. a social worker send somebody there to.

be like how are you feeling. um. non-violent calls for service at city. parks sure I don't know what that means. Under the Influence calls alcohol and or. drugs where there is another no crime in. progress so someone who is on out who is. drinking or really drugged up. and you might go hey I'm at the park and. I have my kids here and there's a crazy.

homeless man who seems to be on many. many drugs and they go have a nice day. uh non-fatal vehicle accidents. interesting okay. parking violations driveway towel. abandoned vehicles person dumping trash. vicious and Dangerous Dog complaints. where no attack is in progress. okay. calls for service for loud noise loud.

music or party calls that are Anonymous. or have no victim. landlord tenant disputes loitering. trespassing with no indication of danger. so. you let them come in. you let him come in. trespassing with no indications yeah I. just wanted to see Taylor Swift's yard. just wanted to see it. I like that.

code 30 alarm response. syringe disposal. that makes sense just hi there's. somebody who keeps throwing syringes in. my shut up. hi someone keeps throwing syringes in my. uh defecating urinating in public look. at 20. 28 suspicious. circs possible dead body where no. indication of Foul Play great leave the. body there leave the body there why get.

the pigs involved with a dead body. why call the cops over a dead body it's. California the greatest state in the. nation and this idiot Gavin Newsom. really thinks he's going to run for. president there's like middle-aged [ __ ]. boy [ __ ] believes he's gonna run for. president the state is a laughing stock. it's a national embarrassment and a joke. everyone hates it and I know people like.

someone in his orbit they kind of chat. chat a little he thinks he's got like a. shot and brought maybe Elon does too. because that's why Elon moved Tesla back. here so that maybe he thinks within four. to eight years there will be a Newsome. presidency and he can hand them all. those free contracts government. contracts I don't really know but. I mean this is just hilarious most. California voters don't want Newsom to. run for president 70 percent of Voters.

don't want to run for president. they should want him to run away. I mean this is like hilarious here a. dead body they may not send police for a. dead body who do you call Uber Eats. I mean who would you call Postman what. are they gonna they're gonna send people. without guns or without weapons in our. place okay so Union reps say the. establishment of an unarmed response. protocol will help with the police. department's chronic understaffing. problem and allow police to focus on the. actual job of responding to emergencies.

not these things like some drunk. defecating uh person next to a dead body. that's fine. the decision to trim back armed. responses by sworn officers is an. alternative policing approach. that has been deployed in other major. cities to varying levels in the wake of. wide-scale civil unrest caused by deadly. police slaying of civilians right so. basically the decision to trim this back. as uh Twitter we decided that it would. make Twitter happy and uh only thought.

people were tweeting so this is good in. Virginia armed officers have responded. here's my thing I also don't think that. you need cops in every situation all the. time but there's a lot of [ __ ] things. there that probably could use police. there's a lot of things there where. somebody's heavily intoxicated or being. suspicious something weird something bad. is about to happen something bad may. happen and the idea that you're going to. get rid of any type of police response. and the people are not going to be armed. they're not going to be you're just. going to let things get to a point where.

it's going to be very difficult to deal. with them after they've happened. that's what's going to happen when you. when you're basically saying we're going. to ignore something until someone gets. stabbed or someone gets shot or there is. an altercation. it's not good you you don't you know and. I know that everybody's like well. they're just running around streets. killing people listen we got to get. better with the training with cops. you know at least Lori made it fun see.

Lori made it fun Gavin doesn't even make. it fun. Laurie made it fun Laurie met you rooted. for the chaos with Lori right I rooted. for Lori you know I rooted for her she's. a figure that you root for because she. is a a mob boss and now she must take. her place. amongst the shadows in the shadows and. she must launch full-scale attacks like. the Riddler on Gotham City. there must be no [ __ ] let up.

Lightfoot you were to continue to raise. hell. you were not to fall back. but it's it's just amazing I I just the. idea of like Lori Lightfoot on a lesbian. Cruise playing shuffleboard cheating and. then having someone go what did Lori do. to go she was the mayor of Chicago. she was the criminal mayor of Chicago. the Great American city.

um yeah I mean this is so funny well. listen God bless I mean this is what uh. this is what you get right it's like hey. maybe it'll work maybe it'll work maybe. ignoring the dead bodies will work I. don't know. I mean there's you know you would you. would think that it wouldn't uh be. perfect but you know what do I know. maybe this is not um. maybe this is not uh as bad as it seems. you know this is a. this is a state where people should. experiment I was up in the Pacific.

Northwest recently and. the thing about the Pacific Northwest is. that it is uh insane. and a lot of the Cities up there you. know again it's just something about the. West Coast there's just something about. the West Coast where people are a bit. off. maybe it's when you leave SoCal you. don't get a lot of vitamin D when you go. up there you get almost no vitamin D. something about the people is a bit off. and uh you know they they kind of like.

it they like it the way it is you know. where it's just like endless tent cities. and a lot of mentally unstable people in. the streets and like downtowns being. overrun with chunkies and crime it's. like hey man you know if let's if you're. into it you're into it like that's my. thing it's like if you're into it you're. into it I'm not going to tell you what. to be into it's like you know I'm not. gonna Kink shame you do what you do if. you get off on the idea that there's a. bunch of psychopaths running around.

downtown of your city and you're like a. young professional but it makes you feel. better about yourself which I guess it. does these people they feel better about. themselves they're going and they're. like I believe that they're right to do. whatever they want to do stab me again. uh these people should be able to just. this is what they want these are the. areas they've created they keep voting. for this [ __ ] they keep they want it I. don't know what to say it seems not good. you know when I go and I see all the. crazy people running on the streets and. go that seems unsustainable but then.

you'll talk to people and they go well. actually it's so much better than it was. you know there's they removed a few of. the tenths and I think that uh we're. heading in the right direction you know. they can't take the people's stuff. though because you see that woman there. I mean that's her thing so the cops. shouldn't be able to move her things and. occasionally she goes nuts and then runs. into traffic but this is her right you. know this is what this is who she is and. why would we like stop her from behaving. that way and you know they're just like.

eating like organic food in a place and. then you know as people walk by and as. the end of the world just marches on. outside the end of the world just. marches past people and they just go. well you know I just think that it's. very complicated it's a very strange. situation you're like well maybe you. could just you know bust up these things. and get these people to [ __ ] out of wow. that's actually harder than that because. a lot of people they're trying and it's. very difficult there's a lot of problems. it's very layered I'm like well that.

guy's shooting heroin in front of me and. maybe that's less complicated he's. shooting heroin he's using Hera maybe. that's why he's homeless because he's. doing heroin well that's actually the. rents have gone up their rents are. higher I know they are but he's doing. heroin right now and now he's attacking. a woman I know but there's a lot of. protest late stage capital I know that's. not great that's certainly not ideal but. now he's choking that woman to death you.

see him choking her to death over there. do you think that requires some. immediate response well there's an. unarmed civilian force that can be. dealing with that and they'll go to him. now assess where you know it's like oh. God just let him have it then [ __ ]. let him out I'm I'm sick of arguing with. these [ __ ] people and that might mean. you'll have to live in a [ __ ]. right-wing nightmare where [ __ ]. nobody gets abortions and they ban. anything that's cool and you're just you.

know you're living in the [ __ ] like. like some weird theocracy I don't know. but I mean uh you know it's just uh it's. getting silly it's getting silly in this. place and I don't know what to tell. people other than just [ __ ] like I. don't know folks figure it out you know. figure your stuff out but if you're a. McDonald's. franchisee the last thing you have to. worry about is a [ __ ] cardi B meal. enough will you stop please. act like it's a country club well we're.

the our people will be very offended. by the we must have a wholesome image. here at McDonald's this is where people. buy [ __ ] pills in our parking lot. what about the drug dealers who sell. Percocet in our parking lot here in. [ __ ] Ohio they're gonna be upset I. don't think they'll have cheeseburgers. anymore if they find out someone who's. selling cheeseburger said the word [ __ ]. in a song. I mean do these people live on [ __ ].

Earth do they live on [ __ ] Earth. people are giving birth in your bathroom. they're having children in the bathroom. and those are your employees. so I wouldn't worry about it. timberlandcomedy.com for all your. tickets. uh to any Live Events let's tell people. where I'm going to be I'm in Oklahoma. City this week and this is coming out. Saturday so if you're not there already. [ __ ] you but Oklahoma City March 9th.

through the 11th I'm in Palm Beach. Florida uh the great Palm Beach maybe. the greatest city in the United States. the richest they are getting mad in Palm. Beach now because the old money is. fighting with the New York new money the. old Palm Beach women where the Lilly. Pulitzer and the pearls and it's very. colorful and these new New York uh dikes. are coming in there with all black and. flat hair and they look super trendy and. they're not [ __ ] assimilating. assimilate this see this is what I mean. Palm Beach you better Build That Wall. because the New York money is coming in.

and they're being cons Palm Beach. Florida uh thanks I'm sorry not. Thanksgiving. um uh the [ __ ] day for the My People. the mix St Patrick's Day I'll be in Napa. California it's our rescheduled date. because of the flooding in the hell Napa. California Raleigh the 24th and the 25th. Raleigh. um April 7th Prior Lake Minnesota April. 8th Grand Rapids Michigan Thursday April. 13th Inglewood New Jersey April 14th. Huntington New York 15th of April New. Brunswick New Jersey uh Sunday April 16.

Huntington New York again April 21st. Peoria Illinois the 22nd Kansas City. Missouri the 28th Portland Oregon the. 29th Tacoma Washington and I didn't mean. anything I said about the West Coast. I didn't mean it but I think maybe some. of the people uh coming to see with me. will uh agree with me I do not know uh. we support cardi B and offset and their. uh meal I think McDonald's should do. like the most controversial meal.

Kanye West Kanye West would be a very. controversial meal but I think they do. you know what if they got to give. everybody something. do the Kyle Rittenhouse meal. that's what it's lacking do a Kyle. Written House meal okay and the Kyle. Rittenhouse meal would be like a Big Mac. a [ __ ] cheese curds because he was. from Wisconsin Right Kenosha Wisconsin. so I'll be a Big Mac.

uh some cheese curds and a [ __ ] I. don't know flurry a McFlurry yeah he's a. little bit of a Porker. he's a little bit of a chubby he's a. fatty boom Baddie he's lost some weight. though but yeah McFlurry a Big Mac and. some cheese curds the Kyle Rittenhouse. meal and now we every they should just. do one meal that will appeal to Inner. City youth which is a huge demo and then. another meal to appeal to White Trash.

another one those are the two demos of. McDonald's. inner city stomp on her face violent. youth coming from the high school and. white trash cousin [ __ ] who eat the. call Rittenhouse meal those are your. Democrats not like all like what does. McDonald's things happening like a. wholesome family is sitting there and. they're like hello this is McDonald's. we're all gonna have a nice time. together that's not what's happening.

it's not it's something like single. mother that's just like [ __ ] beating. the [ __ ] out of her kid she's like eat. your kid. I'm telling you these people are out of. it the car written asked meal we should. we should do that we should [ __ ]. I'll tweet at them I'll go how about you. do a [ __ ] Kyle Rittenhouse meal you. [ __ ] losers. well anyway folks we appreciate you. listening we'll see you on patreon.com. the Tim Dillon show. uh live tickets are on sale we're having.

so much fun doing stand-up all around. the country. um should be great to see you guys there. and um we hope you are doing well we'll. see you soon.