The Life Coach | The Tim Dillon Show #309

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim. Dillon Show. We are in what they call a. recession. or there's some debate about that. because a. technical recession is two. quarters of negative growth, which we. have not had. But you know, the prices. of things now, the gas, the what do they. call it? The pain at the pump. God, I. love that. Pain at the pump. The gas, the inflation, everything's going up. Everything's going up. Food, I mean, what does it cost to feed a fat American.

family now? Like $3,000 a week, right? I mean, it's the the you just got to you. leave with like buckets of chocolate. sauce for the kids. It's so much [ __ ]. money. You you can't get ahead. And. Biden, our president, who's with us this. week, he's back. He has said uh Biden. says the US is not in a recession. despite uh two consecutive quarters of a. shrinking economy, but maybe there's. some. some.

there's some debate about whether it's. it's not negative growth or listen, it's it's it's hurting out there. People. are. hurting out there, but the job numbers. are good. People are employed. People. are scooping Italian ice. People are out. there working. So, that in and of itself. is. a positive it's a positive thing. There. These are positives, right? There are. negatives. Uh the gas being very high, the food,

the cost of you know, flying, if you can even fly. They just. cancel everything now. They just cancel. the flights. Um but certain companies are being. creative with this. And this is what I. want to tell you. You have to be. creative to survive. You're not going to. be able to get through this time unless. you survive. Airbnb has decided to start. trafficking women. And this is creative. and it's a good business. It's. controversial, for sure. But Airbnb, you.

know, it's a company that I love and. respect. Great company. Uh they are now moving on from just. simply a hotel uh service to a. trafficking the women that stay in the. hotels. To to stay in the homes. Now, Airbnb is saying, "Let's traffic those. women. uh to local traffickers and that will. make us a little bit on the top." They. want a little extra on the top. So, this. is an article here. Florida woman. alleges Airbnb host in Tulum attempted.

to sex traffic her and friends. I got to. say, smart, right? It's just smart. So, you have the Florida woman claims Airbnb. host So, they uh St. Petersburg uh. woman, Amber Jackson, had the scare of. her life while checking into an Airbnb. in Tulum. Upon checking into the. vacation home, Jackson and her friends. noticed that there appeared to be blood. on the key. The concierge team assured her that it. was just paint. So, the Airbnb concierge.

team, I don't know if you know this now, they will assure you that the body in. the uh house is a joke. Like the Airbnb concierge team, their. job is to just let you know that. whatever um you know, whatever bodily. fluid that you find. on your rental property is supposed to. be there. That's a part of the experience. Don't. worry about it. And uh they said it's just paint. Mhm.

And Jackson uh didn't believe them. Amber Jackson said, "Uh. I don't believe you." Once inside, Jackson noticed that the keypads were. not set for the rooms. This would allow. anyone to walk into the home and have. access to the belongings or the women. themselves. After configuring the keypad herself, Jackson was ready to head out and have. fun with her friends. Okay? However, when they returned, they. found a strange man standing outside the. home claiming to be security. It's important to note that by this time. they'd been there for a few days and.

never saw security any other nights. Jackson immediately contacted the. homeowner and concierge team to verify. the man's claims, but nobody answered. for the entire night. The women guarded. themselves with knives as they slept and. checked out early the next morning. So, this is now what. Airbnb is doing. Airbnb has decided that. they need to start earning more money. How can you earn more money right now? Trafficking your guests. This is the.

best way to do it. Um. I mean, it's it's great. And they gave. her a refund of $67. And they didn't traffic her, which may. say something about the way she looked. and the way her friends looked. They might not have been trafficable. But you have to be um you have to be. vigilant uh uh and you have to be. creative in this economy if you're going. to stay alive. So, I applaud Airbnb. uh from uh you know, uh.

like expanding their business model from. the uh general uh staying in people's. dilapidated homes to actually. trafficking. uh vulnerable people who stay at their. property. So, that is a great By the. way, hats off to everyone at Airbnb for. making this change in your business. And. when you report earnings, I'm sure that. people will respond positively to this. I think investors are going to like it.

I think people are going to go, "Well, here's a company realizing they're on. the way out." Because they are on the. way out. People are getting sick of it. Hotels are back, and we've made this. point before. You know, the air the. mystique of the Airbnb, staying in. someone else's house, vacationing in. someone else's life, going, "Oh my god, do I want to live in Charleston? Let's. see." This is all over now. The pandemic. has ended, you're back to your horrible. life. You've returned to your horrible. life. You can no longer pretend to live.

in a 90 other lives. During the. pandemic, everybody had this fantasy. where they could go around the country. living in people's lives, people putting. cowboy hats on and line dancing. They. had no idea who they were, and some of. those people bought property [ __ ]. idiot. doing that, okay? Some of those people. had a pulled pork sandwich and went, "Yeah, I should have a mortgage with. this." Um, and that's why you saw how, you know, places like Austin and. Nashville, these places that have just. exploded. And if you're happy there, God. bless you. Um, and there's a ton of.

reasons to get out of New York and LA, but the reality is you have to choose a. life now. The pandemic is over. You must. actually choose a life. For many, many. months there, you did not have to choose. a life. You could literally week to week. be a different person every single week. Am I the bread-baking ho? What am I? Am. I politically conscious ho? Am I. Nashville boots ho? Am I [ __ ] Austin,

Texas taco ho? You have to choose what. type of ho, I'm not gendering this, but. you have to choose what type of ho. you're going to be now. You must choose. a life. You had your chance, you had your time, and it was fun, and it was entertaining, and I hope everybody enjoyed it. And I. hope to God you used those couple of. years to really go out there and see. what you like. And who And And that's. what Airbnb was for. It was for pretend. Oh, we can all pretend to live in each. other's lives. I wonder what it feels. like to be an artsy person in the West.

Village. And I wonder what it feels like. TO LIVE IN MONTANA AND LOOK AT THESE. MOUNTAINS EVERY DAY. And what does it. feel like to be in Palm Springs? It's so. hot and sexy. But you eventually have to. choose a place. You know, you eventually. have to choose a life to live. And that. is why Airbnb, which is just an. extension of people's madness, um. and of course bachelorette parties and. bachelor parties and and things like.

that, which is I guess what Airbnb is. Let's get like cuz they tried to sway it. from that. They tried to steer it away. from the idea of like, let's rent the. house to have a big party. But that's. really what it should be, you know? Because during the pandemic it became. like, maybe I live in Maryland. But what. it really is is, you know what I mean? Like, I like crabs. But now what it. really is is going back to. what it should be, where you just rent. the house and you have a party, you. trash it, and someone dies. That is what. Airbnb always should have been. A party.

house like it They should have You. should have three insurance policies on. your home, and you should just have like. frat guys come in and [ __ ] just. pillage for 48 hours and hope to God. that nobody gets alcohol poisoning and. dies in the pool. And they all give you. $1,300. for the privilege of partying in your. dump of a house in Tucson, Arizona. That's what Airbnb should be. And that's. what it'll be now, now that the. pandemic's over. But now monkeypox is. here, and people are getting monkeypox.

in orgies. And monkeypox is a disease. that's affecting a. gay man. What a fun way to be, you know, you got it to come out of the closet to. just tell people you have monkeypox. Right. And you go, "Oh, but I'm not gay. I don't know how it happened." But this. is what happens, right? People Monkey. Park Monkey Pox Monkey Parks Monkey. Parks, a new Discovery Land community. You know, the Discovery Land people Now, you don't Many of you don't know about. the Discovery Land people because you're. you're just out of it. But the Discovery.

Land people are the people that are. behind. the new development in La Quinta out in. the desert of California called the. Madison Club where the Kardashians live. Uh the Discovery Land properties and. they have one in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. and they have a bunch of them. And what. they are is a investment group uh that. caters to high net worth individuals. that want to have homes all over the. country in different desirable locations. like the mountains, the beach,

um you know, some of them want to live. in the woods and they spend like 2 weeks. you know, a year in each home. Uh what. they do is they they they entice a bunch. of celebrities to to buy these homes. very early on. Like Leo, they give a. house to Leonardo DiCaprio and then he. goes to like the local general store and. then the photographers photograph him. there and then all of the sudden all. these billionaires start going, "Well, I. want to live near Leo. I want to do. that." So the Discovery Land people go, "Well, he's got a house in the. development. Act now." And all of these.

houses like you know, there's one house. on sale in the Madison Club right now. It's $26 million. So it's a very, very expensive. Um. and uh. they are. a. interesting you know, when I like to. keep tabs on what the super rich are. doing, what the what super wealthy. people do uh interests me. Especially as. things um unfold the way they are in our. society, right? Uh you go, "Where are. the people like where are they going?". And they love these Discovery Land. They.

are secure. They are gated. They are all. around championship golf courses. And. this is where they want to live. This is. where they don't want to live with you. Um nobody's Airbnb'ing their homes uh. out in these places. Let's play. Now this is from 2016. It's an old. video, but let's play that because I'm. hoping that they give me one of these. homes. I can't do any of the music. It's. copyrighted, but. So here here's the type of homes they. have. Bakers Bay in the Bahamas.

Yellowstone Club in Montana. Perhaps you'd like Gozzer Ranch, Coeur. d'Alene. How about Makena in Maui, Hawaii? Perhaps. the Summit in Summerlin, Nevada would be. more to your liking. How about Silo Ridge? I love these names. These sound like.

like white supremacist compounds. The Madison Club in La Quinta. Beautiful. Eldorado. They kind of stole that one, huh? Yeah. So, what they do is they just go around. the world creating these little Narnias. for people Now, why haven't they done. one in Austin, Texas? It seems like a. no-brainer to me to have a Madison I. mean, what is wrong with them? Are they. nuts?

Are they stupid? Are these people daft? It seems to make so much sense to me to. put one of these places in Austin, Texas, which is Let's get the weather up. right now. What What is the weather in. Austin, Texas? This is when, folks, I got to be honest. with you, California, you can hate it. and and and and I'm not saying you. shouldn't, but the climate. we really are winning climate right now. Austin, Texas 100°, uh humidity 41%.

Yeah, and it's been that way for what? Like, forever. Yeah, and it'll go up to 103 by. Wednesday. It's. Why doesn't the Madison like Why doesn't. um. the people behind the Discovery Land. properties build a luxury cuz what they. should do is build a luxury compound in. Austin, Texas where every single house. has its own podcast studio and comedy. club? Every house. So, every like 15,000 square foot house.

has a comedy club in it where rich. psychopaths can pretend to be comedians. And why not? And do pod like it's a. great idea because that's, you know, part of the appeal. of Austin at the moment, right? Is the idea that you've got something to. say? So, let's why not? Don't billionaires. have things to say? Oh yeah. I think it's a great idea. I think it's. a great idea and I am.

ready to support it. Now, what are you. uh doing in this economy to safeguard. yourself and your family? Uh I have a bookie. You are betting now and you are. gambling. Is this true? A little bit but not much. But but you're such a degenerate addict. Do you not worry that this behavior will. metastasize into a real problem? It might but I'm keeping a safeguard on. it. What is it for you? Like the thrill? It's yeah, it heightens the experience. Of what? Life?

Of baseball. And you bet how much money? Uh sometimes I'll bet up to like $400 on. a game. But this is a real problem. It's kind of insane I'm doing it, yeah. No, it's but are you winning? winning. I am winning. All the time? Enough? Well, I'm I'm up. I'm up. My I bet. units. You bet units. I'm up units. Who is this bookie? Uh he's just a guy I met through our. realtor friend. Remember the guy with. the hat? Our loser realtor friend. introduced you to a bookie who you're.

now betting on baseball games with? like a trust fund kid and he just like. is my bookie. Cuz you're not allowed to gamble in. California. Arrest him. This is an admission of guilt. Come into. the studio, take him away in cuffs. You. will hear nothing from me. I I they do. arrest you and I hope they save your. life. Because you deserve to be in jail. Mud. water is amazing. It's a coffee. alternative with four adaptogenic. mushrooms and Ayurvedic herbs. With 1/7.

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survive this recession? I don't know. I. don't know. I don't know. So now people are mad at Zelenskyy just. cuz he did a cover shoot of Vogue. magazine. Can you not is the is the. I mean, is he not allowed to feel hot? This is a. real question. Is this guy not The. entire reason. that anyone cares about the Ukraine is. because Zelenskyy is good-looking. This. is true. No one cares about the Ukraine You know, it's a Hollywood narrative, him and his. wife.

The Ukraine is full of white people. Many of them are like far right-wing. A. lot of them are uncomfortably close to. Nazi-ish. It is absolutely a country that no one. would care about in a like the types of. people that care about it wouldn't care. about it unless there was an angle. And. part of the angle is that the young. attractive leader of the Ukraine is so. eloquent and passionate about his.

country. So he does a photo shoot in. Vogue and people are angry with him. People are angry that he has. dared to be attractive, which is the. only way This is. Being first lady is not a role Olena. Zelenska ever wanted to play. "I like being backstage," she says. "It. suited me.". She said to Vogue. I love anyone with a. photo shoot in Vogue going, "I like to. be backstage. This whole thing's an. accident.".

She said to Vogue in a wide-ranging. interview conducted in person in Kyiv. "Moving into the limelight was quite. difficult for me.". She and Ukrainian President Volodymyr. Zelenskyy met in high school, started. dating at university, and had a full. life in the entertainment world before. Zelenskyy won the presidency in 2019. Protective of their family life, she had. wanted uh him to run, but like so many. of her fellow Ukrainians in this war, Zelenska has risen to the occasion with. grace and grit. "I'm trying to do my. best." For Vogue special digital cover.

story, Zelenska and her husband, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, spoke about life in wartime, their. marriage, and like by the way, it How. about we just stick with life in. wartime? Why in God's name are we asking. them about their marriage? It seems a. little crazy to me. They're like they're. speaking about life in wartime and their. marriage. What? How about just the wartime? So, if you notice this picture, one of.

my favorites, a very glamorous Mrs. Zelenskyy is. posing in front of, I believe, the. wreckage. of a plane? It's what it appears, yeah. It appears to be. So, she's on the front lines here. She's. in the the wreckage of a plane, and. she's doing this kind of sexy, you know, but distressed. thing. Now, if you've ever done a photo. shoot Now, here's the deal.

If you've ever done a photo shoot, or. you've ever been to a photo shoot, you. know how incredibly bad taste this is. Because you have to do this multiple. They didn't just get these shots. This. isn't like an accident. They have to do. this multiple times. They have to get. the lighting right. They have to hit you. from multiple angles, you know? They. have to go just give me stoic. Just give. me set Just just stone face, you know, realize the gravity of the moment to. the, you know, and just kind of tilt. your head and perfect. Right there.

Right there. Boom. Snap. Snap. Snap. So, when you realize how insane cuz it. doesn't seem insane when you just sit. back and go, "Okay, they Vogue's a huge. publication." But then when you realize. the actual nuts and bolts of having to. do a. um I hate my headphones this way. They're bothering me. Uh. When you When you realize the nuts and. bolts of having to do an actual photo. shoot and what it entails during uh. wartime, it does seem insane. Um.

and people are angry. Um somebody. tweeted here, uh Avi Yemini tweeted, "I respected. Zelensky at the beginning of the war. when we were flooded with photos of the. Ukrainian president on the front line in. tactical gear. Turns out photos were. faked and. an act like the man himself now posing. for a Vogue." Were those photos faked of. him out there in the thing? Uh I mean, it's hard to know. know. I'm sure some of them were, yeah. But stick with that because the Vogue is. confusing people.

It's confusing people. Um. But he's going to They're going to do a. Markle thing, right? Oh, yeah. They're coming over here. They're on. their way. He's been meeting with. They are calling They are talking to the. realtors from Selling Sunset right now. They are on their way to Los Angeles. They are headed for the big leagues. They're coming to Hollywood. Like Meghan. Markle and Harry, the Zelenskys are. coming to Hollywood. They want to be. stars. They don't want to run that [ __ ]. They don't care about it.

Now they've got a taste OF THE BIG LIFE. YEAH, MAYBE. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? Eat What do. they eat in Ukraine? I don't even know. But you're going to stew? You're going to eat that? Don't you You have a chance now. Ben. Stiller tells of Zelensky's my hero. He. didn't know who he was couple of months. ago. So he is meeting with people cuz he's a. production company, right? Who? Uh Ben. OF COURSE. LISTEN. 100% the Zelenskys are coming and they.

are going to start producing stuff. And. it's And I'm telling you right now some. of it might be good. Cuz this is a real production. This. whole thing has been a production from. the beginning till now. this is a production. And I think. they're going to get quite tired of this. war thing. They've used it And by the. way, kudos to them for building a brand. Listen. No, I'm dead serious. I am 100%. serious about all of this.

They were [ __ ] smart to use this to. build a [ __ ] international. lifestyle brand, which is what they're doing. When you have an opportunity, seize it. Seize it. Don't let it pass you by. Rahm Emanuel. said never let a good crisis go to. waste. Zelensky and his wife late at. night pillow talk they're going, "Hey.

Hey. We are the talk of the town. NOT THIS. TOWN, HOLLYWOOD. They love us. They love us in New York. They love us in London. We're big. We've got something here. We've got. books. We've got documentaries. We got a. [ __ ] deal. We We were the a of [ __ ] country. No one. gives a [ __ ] about it. NOBODY KNEW WHAT. IT WAS. NOBODY KNEW WHAT IT WAS. ALL OF A sudden Putin knocks some of it. off and we're in the game big time.

We're heroes. Now we just got to negotiate some little. [ __ ] settlement that allows us to. emerge victorious and then we just boom, we're in Montecito by the pool. And it's smart. It's [ __ ] shrewd and. anyone who's angry at it, [ __ ] you. He's They're ready to [ __ ] enjoy the. spoils. It's time to enjoy the spoils now.

They pretend they faked this thing for a. long enough now. With the fake flak jacket and the and. the helmet. How many photo shoots? He did it. He did. Listen, he told that apparently the. Russians aren't going to leave. They. don't care how many of their people die. They don't give a [ __ ] about any of it. They will bankrupt themselves They are. never leaving. They want this like [ __ ]. factory in Donbas or whatever. They will. not leave until they have this like [ __ ]. factory in that dumb town. They will.

They don't care about anything. They. want this place. They want it. Apparently they are real committed. It. was not a flash in the pan thing for. them. And Zelensky is now starting to. real I think the Ukraine they're. starting to realize this too. Like the. only way out of this is through fame and. fortune. Because I'm not trying to die. on the battle A Vogue photo shoot says, "I am not trying to die on the. battlefield. I know that's how I. presented it earlier. I presented it as.

if I was willing to die with the. townspeople on the battle That is not. what I'm willing to do anymore. I I am. thinking differently. I am thinking. differently. I am speaking to Netflix.". They don't have a lot of money, but what. little they have they're giving to me. and a tiny little bit to Tim Dillon to. put his special there. August 16th, I believe. That's correct. But this is where he's now finally doing. the pivot that needs to be done. I. applaud him for his pa- You try It's. enough with the Enough with this.

nonsense. You're not dying for your. people. He was never that type of guy. He was He's too smart for that. And he. doesn't have that, you know, honor and. he's not honor bound, but it did He's so. He's a modern leader, and modern leaders. run. When the going gets tough, modern. leaders leave and get deals at streaming. services and whine about how badly they. were treated. You need to sit on a couch with Oprah.

and start crying and talk about how hard. your marriage is. Like he did in Vogue. That's what a. modern leader does. Modern leaders from him to Trump to But-. None of these people are going to go. down with the ship. They've created No, they're not going to go down with the. ship. But in the beginning it was kind of that. brilliant idea that he might. That. brilliant idea you're like, "Oh my god, wait, what?" This guy Like imagine one. of our leaders doing that. It was it's.

it's unimaginable. to think about any of them on the front. lines of anything. Well, apparently he. wasn't either, but. We thought he would. Well, it's was because he marketed it. like he would He probably visited some. True Remember what George W. Bush said. at Thanksgiving? Here's the turkey in. Iraq. He went and brought them a turkey. That's what modern leaders do. It's a. photo op. They bring the people that are. about to be slaughtered a turkey and. say, "Let's eat turkey together while.

you fight this quagmire." That's what. modern leaders do. They're not on the. battlefield. That's great. Here he is. This is President Bush with. the turkey. This is a modern leader and. he's got the army jacket on. Same thing, yeah. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, there he is. Looks good. So, this is what modern leaders do. By. the way, God bless them. I'm proud of. Zelenskyy for stopping the nonsense. I.

think his agent called him and went, "Cut the [ __ ] now. It's enough already. Well, how long are. you going to do this? Get out of that country.". And how is the Ukraine war going, by the. way? I mean, we we No one cares anymore, but I imagine it's still happening. Let's see. And it saddens me and I hope it's I hope. it, you know, whatever. I mean, I don't know anymore I don't I. All I know is that the Russians are.

willing to stay there for a century. Mhm. So, none of this horse race stuff. matters. It would only matter if the. Russians cared a little bit about leave. They just don't want to. leave. Right. They're not going to leave. They just will not go. They're going to. keep coming back. Well, sorry. But, yeah, so now Brittney Griner, this. uh. a. basketball player who went to Russia to.

supplement her income. uh and smoked What did they find? A. hashish? Yeah, but it's the vape pen. It's the. hash. with a hashish oil, so they say. And now. we are trading her for a Russian arms. dealer. That's a even trade, huh? WNBA. member for a Russian arms dealer. But, whatever, we got to get her back. She's. a American. We don't want her to come back like Otto. Warmbier. Remember him, that college. student? He went to North Korea. Supposedly, he stole a flag like as a.

little prank. And then his parents, you. know, he was stuck there and then. finally his his were like, "Oh, he's. home. It's great." And then like. literally his sister went on the plane, saw the condition he was in, and ran off. the plane screaming. It was horrible. It was horrible. I. mean, they they. rearranged his teeth and scrambled his. brain over there in North Korea. It was. very bad. So, you don't want Griner to. come back like that. You want her to. come back and uh play in the uh WNBA. But again, and I said this on the the. bonus episode, if we bail you out, if we.

that enough, don't say anything other. than like, "I want you to be Candace. Owens-level patriotic." If we trade a. Russian arms dealer for you. That's all. That's all I'm asking. If we trade a. Russian arms dealer for you and you come. back, just be Candace Owens-level. patriotic. I mean, where it's annoying. Like the first post should be red, white, and blue in an all red, white, and blue thing singing the national. anthem. Like I'm I'm I'm just telling. you, just be grateful. You're in a.

foreign country smoking hash. Nobody has. to get you. But if this corpse Biden arranges to get. you somehow by trading this whatever. high-value Russian guy or supposedly, just be happy about it, right? Just be. enjoy it and don't be like, you know, don't don't come back and you. know, just just don't just be happy. That's. all I'm saying. Don't don't be negative in any aspect if. you've just been brought back from. Russia.

I want that to be part of the deal. If. the Biden administration was smart, part. of the deal would be, "We're bringing. you back on the on the. um condition that you are relentlessly. positive about our country, no matter. what from here on out. You must be. relentlessly positive about the United. States of America even in the face of. mounting evidence to the contrary. You.

must be the most positive person ever. Why? Because we bailed you out of a. Russian jail whilst at war kind of with. them. During a Cold War, we bailed you out. That's amazing. Like you can't come back. and start being like, "How many WOMEN. WERE NOMINATED FOR BEST DIRECTOR?" DON'T. Don't even start with that now.

If you come back and start that, you got. to go to Russia again. You can't come back and have any. problems. You just have to chill. If you come back, you got to go YOU GOT. TO CHILL. THE WIFE, TOO. AND THE WIFE. IF YOU GO ON OPRAH, YOU GOT TO GO, "YOU. know what amazes me? How great our. country is.". That's all you do. If we trade this.

[ __ ] character from Die Hard so that. you can come back to America and play a. sport no one watches, you must at least. be grateful. You must at least be. grateful for this. I'm telling you. This must at least be something that. warms your heart enough where you cannot. literally complain about anything. You can't. So, this economy. What else How are. people doing it out there? Are people. figuring it out? Californians and other.

Mexicans are flooding Mexico City and. the locals don't like it. Well, too bad. It works both ways. Yeah, white [ __ ] are coming to your. [ __ ] town. That's right. You people come here and work hard, we. go there and don't work. That's right. Hey, man, if you wanted to be a big open. world, you're going to have to deal with. it. Occasionally, you send over some. people that aren't great and we're going. to send over some people that aren't.

great and that's the way it works. So. the [ __ ] what? Grow up. Mexico has long been the top foreign. travel destination for Americans. It's. bountiful beaches and picturesque. pueblos lure in tens of millions of US. visitors annually, but in recent years a. growing number of tourists and remote. workers hailing from Brooklyn, New York, Silicon Valley and points in between. Oh, yeah, baby. Have flooded the. nation's capital and left a scent of a. new wave imperialism. Will you stop? The.

LA Times. Will you stop? A new wave of imperialist cuz what? They. went there and got drunk? Listen to this. At Lardo, a. Mediterranean restaurant where on any. given night three quarters of the tables. are filled with foreigners, a Mexican. man in a well-cut suit recently took a. seat at the bar, gazed at the English. language menu before him and sat his. hand in the back. A menu in Spanish, please. This is what people in America. say about Mexicans.

They say I don't want to look at things. in Spanish and all of the sudden we we. say that they're Nazi racist pieces of. [ __ ] and then the LA Times has an. article where a Mexican guy goes, "Hey, can I have something in my native. tongue?" And they go, "These white. pieces of [ __ ] going to order [ __ ]. tacos in Mexico." What are we doing. here? Do you want a global world or not? The LA Times is like the New York Times. except everyone like The New York Times. is wrong, but at least the people that.

work there went to schools. Like the LA. Times is like these are the dumbest. people. There are entire groups of. people at the LA Times who's like beat. is. going around the comedy store with a. black light trying to find Chris. D'Elia's semen. Now, that's a job. NOW LISTEN. WHAT IS INSANE about this is they're. saying that it's I'm not saying that. white people aren't annoying when they.

travel. They're annoying. We went to. London. You know, we go to this great. restaurant dinner by Heston Blumenthal. Maybe one of the best restaurants we've. ever been in the. in the Mandarin Oriental Hotel. Our. favorite hotel I think we've ever been. to. And we're sitting there and they. give you the option of hearing about all. the different courses. They go when we. bring you the courses that all date back. to like the 15th century or whatever. Would you like us to tell you about them. and tell you how the chef came out? And. of course we go sure. You tell us. whatever you want to tell us.

But. the American couple sitting next to us. they go, would you like to hear about. the food and they go, no, but do you. have any ketchup? So we know, we are. well aware of how annoying and grotesque. Americans can be when they're abroad. But to to say that it's imperialism. because a couple of [ __ ] are drinking. margaritas is stupid and insane and I. can't even believe that the LA Times. wrote this article not realizing how.

crazy it seems to anyone. Let's keep. reading this here. Recently expletive laced posters. appeared around the town. New to the. city, question mark? Working remotely, question mark? They read in English. You. are a [ __ ] plague and the locals. [ __ ] hate you. Leave. Now, how would that work if we put those. up in places in border towns around. America? Would that be good?

Please don't, read one of the kinder. replies. The city's becoming more and. more expensive every day in part because. of people like you and you don't even. realize or care about it. Hugo Vandermolen, 31, a video game designer who grew up in. Florida and now in Namibia. Nambia or Namibia? has spent the last several months. working remotely from Mexico City, Montreal, and Bogota, Colombia. He said. he understands why locals are vexed by. the growing population of digital.

nomads. People, I guess, are just, you. know, they work online and they can kind. of live anywhere. Quote, "There's a distinction between. people who want to learn about the place. they are in and those who just like it. because it's cheap.". I've met a number of people who don't. really care that they're in Mexico, they. care that it's cheap. Well, isn't it Can. this not be said for America? Can it not be said when people come to. America there's a distinction between. Why is that Nintendo Switch right here? This doesn't This is what Ray I'm sorry. Ray Comp gave me that.

Um but it doesn't seem professional. But. can't this be said about America here. that there's some people that are coming. to America cuz they want America. they like America and they want and. there's just a lot of other people that. are coming to America because it's an. economic opportunity? Can't that be said. about America? What a weird article. that the LA Times writes. Despite growing tensions, Mexico City is. not Paris, where an American stumbling. over French in a boulangerie will get a. dose of hostility along with her.

croissants. It's not Berlin or. Barcelona, where locals in recent years. have mounted major protests over. excessive tourism and the gobbling up of. urban properties by global investment. firms. The vast majority of people in. this crowded, colorful metropolis are. unwaveringly kind and patient with. international visitors who are in their. first 4 months of this year spent 851. million on hotels alone. So what Guys, guys, listen. Hey. I don't know what to tell you. People.

are spending money. They're going to I'm. not going to Mexico City and starting. problems, but people are going there. They like it, it's pretty, it's cheap. They spent over. just about a billion dollars. on hotels. 4 months. Yeah. Yeah, in 4 months. Yeah, there's growing pains. There's growing pains in Mexico. Same. with there's growing pains in America. When you assimilate tens of millions of. people into a culture, there's growing. pains. I don't understand I mean it's just such.

a crazy article. And And by the way, what Why I think this article's funny is. because every mention. that like immigration might have. some downsides or might be have some. difficulties. There might be some. challenges associated with immigration. People. at the LA Times write that you are a. crazy like Nazi if you even pose the.

question. um what are some of the challenges with. immigration? But they write an article. with the other way. where they are completely understanding. of the difficulties that people in. Mexico are having with an influx of. Americans. So it just very strange to me. It's odd. to me. Yeah, this stuff's hard. It doesn't mean that there's not people. overreacting on both sides, but this. [ __ ] is hard. He goes like this. After his revelations at this cafe, Bustos uploaded a video of his popular.

TikTok account complaining that the. influx of foreigners in Mexico City. quote "stinks of modern colonialism.". Nearly 2,000 people posted comments in. agreement. His critique is multi-layered. and speaks speaks to generations of. injustices. There's the problem of newcomers quote. "indifference as to how their actions. are affecting locals.". He also believes that Americans, many of. whom are white, are reinforcing the. city's pervasive. if frequently. if infrequently discussed caste system.

So the Mexican caste system. is being somehow bolstered by the white. people that are going there. This is why. people's brains have been uh broken. And this is why you see. uh. people completely tuning out mainstream. sources of news. Um because this is. written with like no irony.

People don't understand it. I mean, it's. kind of a funny article. Where Mexicans complaining about. American immigration. It's kind of a funny article. And. they're saying a lot of the similar. things. They're saying, "I want the. menus in English.". Yeah. Please put the menus in English. People. come to this country because it's cheap. They don't really care about These are. the exact same things said by people in. America that are often critical of.

Mexican immigration into the US. So, it's just very interesting. Now, does. this article at any point acknowledge. that? Probably not. Uh Oh, here we go. Here's Bustos chimed. in on it. Yeah. Mexico's classist and racist. People. with white skin are given preference. Now, if a local wants to go to a. restaurant or club, they don't just have. to compete with rich white Mexicans, but. with foreigners, too. he was saying the other way, but. Right. I mean, hey man. I you know,

at a certain point, this is what everybody wants, no? Mhm. You want this globalized world? I mean, you're going to get some. problems. Right? Like. you might get some problems. I want to bring a bunch of white people. now down to Mexico City. and do a concert of traditional Mexican.

music. You know, like a bunch of. people real white like Midwestern white. people to go down and sing. traditional Mexican folk songs. in like poorly pronounced. in like a southern twang like hi y'all. We're singing folk songs from Mexico. Um. Sarah Lupton, a 35-year-old from North.

Carolina who came to Mexico City last. year as soon as she got her second COVID. vaccination, said she fell in love with. the quote romantic yet gritty aesthetic. She ended up Well, this is what they did. in Bushwick. This is what they do all. the all over the place. She ended up. selling her video production company and. relocating here in January with her shih. tzu. Now she's learning Spanish, applying for residency, and exploring a. new path as life AND CAREER COACH. CAN YOU IMAGINE SARAH LIKE HI, I'm your. career coach.

Hi, what's your name? Luz? Hi. I'm Sarah Lupton. I'm a career coach. I. grew up in Larchmont, New York. My. father worked at a bank. and my mother sat in the kitchen and. took pills. I went to NYU film school because I. wanted to make a great romantic movie. Something that I'd never really. experienced. I had a video production. company that my father funded. We actually ended up just making videos. for people's dogs, but it had enough.

value that upon selling it, I came here. and bought What is this called? A. casita? Now I'm here. I'm learning your language and I'm. telling you how to live. Luz. you're telling me that you have. problems. Your brother became involved in the drug. trade and he got his hand chopped off. You feel guilty because you don't have. enough money to feed your children. Luz. can I introduce you to the concept of. manifesting? Manifesting.

Do you meditate? Do you ever sit down, Luz, and visualize. where you would like to be in 5 years? I think you're doing yourself a great. disservice. Now, who showed up to your house in the. middle of the night? I understand that's distressing. But, I think what you really have to. focus on is you. I've heard a lot about. your brother and your children and these. strange men who come to your house in. the middle of the night asking where. your brother is and threatening to kill. you. What I haven't heard about, Luz, is.

you. Who is Luz? Who do you want to be? What makes you happy? What makes you cry? Do you ever just. take a walk in the rain? Do you ever just drink white wine and. walk it cuz in Larchmont, we had like 3. acres. It was too much. You know, my. mother and my father used to always. argue about it cuz he left, you know, the edges of the property a little. rough, but I would wander out in them, Luz, and it would be like the secret. garden. And you know, after the rain,

you would see the butterflies, Luz, and. they were so beautiful. And I would. steal a little bit of my mother's wine. She always noticed. And I just walk around the garden, the. rough edges of our manicured property in. Larchmont, and I would just feel like. Alice in Wonderland, Luz. Do you ever consider doing that? Because I'm telling you right now, I think the answer to your problem lies. in reconnecting with you.

What did the men say they were going to. do to you? Well, that is horrible. That's absolutely horrible. Luz, I'm not. even going to repeat that. It That doesn't even seem anatomically. possible. Oh, you've seen it one of your friends. it was done to? Oh my god. And where did they leave the body? In. the town square. Well, Luz, you can't live in the past. You have to live in the future. So, Luz,

this session was $70. I mean, can you imagine that? Well, see, this is Now, this is the next level. Listen, a bunch of white people and you. got to communicate with them in English. to feed them is one thing. Moving to a. country like Mexico. as a white chick. who's probably going to lose scratch and. becoming a life coach, which is an a. career coach, which is a fake job here. It's fake here.

Let alone. in Mexico. Like going in Mejico, Mexico, it is crazy. Laura Rodwell, 40, also moved down in. January after spending several months. here last year. And by the way, this is. why I do feel bad for Mexico. The. Mexicans that are coming here largely. are just very hard working people. We. are sending our biggest pieces of [ __ ]. there. We are sending like tech people that are. like bored and want to go to a foreign. country because like they they have.

hollow lives and they want to go. somewhere else and they can work. remotely. We are sending the worst. people in the world there. Listen to. this. Lauren Rodwell, 40, also moved. down in January after spending several. months here last year. A marketer who. works in a tech job that is remote. She. was tired of living in San Francisco. where every conversation began with. {quote} "What do you do?". "I like being in vibrant cities that. have multiple cultures that mix well. Where there's good food and good energy. and dancing and art.

It reminds me of being in a more. friendly, more cleaner times Brooklyn.". Man, here's the deal and people are. going to get upset with me for saying. this. If the Mexicans really want to. stop this, they just have to start. raping and killing them. And and I don't even know if that would. stop it. But, you know,

I don't know. Oh, Rodwell's black. Still doesn't. matter. Oh, okay. Get out of Mexico. Hm. Interesting. I I I'm just I understand that the. influx of tech people is uh uh trying at. times, but I don't know what to tell. you. You know, this is what happens. You. have a global world, people from all. over the place go, and you know, they. bother you. That's what globalism is. People all over the world travel and. bother you, and unfortunately make it.

harder for you to live. Hm. That is what it is. And there are some. benefits to that, too. You get a cheap. shirt and look, good food. Ordering all your summer essentials with. Dash Dash. with Dash and Ekaterina. Ordering all your summer essentials with. Dash and Ekaterina. Kidding. DoorDash is. a great way to get everything you need. And during the summer of DashPass, you. can save money and access members-only. offers that will help you feel easy and. breezy all season long. Summer is in. full swing, and celebrations begin.

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during the summer of DashPass using. promo code Tim Dillon. Don't forget. that. That's Tim Dillon for 50% off your. first order up to $15 value. DashPass. does if it's only on eligible orders. that meet the minimum subtotal. Terms. apply. And we'll we'll probably use it. right after this. I use IT ALL THE TIME. I USE IT ALL THE. TIME. YOU BROKE THE CACTUS. THAT'S HILARIOUS. We have this one. We have more. We love Steve Will Do It. Let's go to. his YouTube channel. What is he doing.

right now? He's a really good friend of. ours. He helps a lot of people. He's a the. breakout star of the Nelk Boys. Uh and you got to go to his YouTube. channel at. Steve Will Do It. He has a new video. called Why My Girlfriend. I don't think it's real. I don't know if any of it is real on. YouTube but then he. Steve is a trained professional. Do not. attempt anything you see on this page. Like having your girlfriend. Okay, let's see.

Okay, I don't know what he's doing but. let's. Uh. He's so crazy. He messages me that I'm. racist. Well, you are. It does. You're not a racist. He knows. Somewhere I saw you. It was either here. or uh Atlanta. What are you talking about? I don't forget faces at all. They look like they have a good time. They have a good time, you know.

That's his car. his pretty car. Can you please go to the other base and. grab me a phone charger, please, while I. film this outro? Okay, so this video I was [ __ ] with. Selena, so I want to continue to [ __ ]. with her. and make a video out of this. The title. of this video will now change from I'm. dating a beautiful black stripper to. something along the lines of me fake. proposing to Selena. Like Selena wants.

to get married, right? High-value men. But I'm going to say whatever I got to. say. It's going to be real and then I'm. going to go and say Selena Smith, check out the new ring I got myself. Like check out the new ring I got myself. instead of will you marry me. And then. my friends over at White Carrot are. going to give her some real jewelry. Dude, imagine like Carlin had somehow. lived. and like he was like, "You got the. YouTubes and the Snapchats.". You got YouTube, Snapchat? Yeah. You got the Snapchats and the.

Instagram. You got the Reels and the. like how crazy. algorithm and you ain't in it. It's a big algorithm and you ain't in. it. You and I ain't in it. You know? Yeah. WOW, [ __ ] YOU. That was just rude. You were like crying. I think these people know that like none.

of their li- like nothing that ever. happens is real. Like she's eating. dinner on a pool table. And he's like pretending to propose. I. think they all know. that everything that can happen like ev-. like every single video where like, you. know, he'll be like, "Listen, I have. cancer." or "I'm going to propose." or. like nothing's real. So I think these. people just. Tana Mongeau did a video once with Jake. Paul where she goes, "I'm having your. baby." and he's like, "Really?" and. she's like, "No." and then all the. cameras come out. Like They just do. stuff like that. This is what they do. They're just committed. Like you got to.

visit Steve Will do it, uh. over on the YouTube channel. He's uh. he's really taking off. You know, he is. He's taking off. has a couple channels, too. Oh, he's got a bunch. Yeah, he has a Steve will do it too and. all that stuff. He's got a lot. They're interesting. people. I got to do their podcast. I. keep telling them I had COVID and then I. couldn't do it and the whole thing, but. we got to we will get back to that. Um. let's support this guy because he's uh.

you know. that's the best photo of him, by the. way, in the sombrero. Yeah, I know. It's. It's kind of hilarious. He's just culturally appropriating on. this podcast. like he looks so happy. He looks so. happy with like the big bottle of. alcohol. Yeah, I mean he's done things that are. like like defy science. Like when they like the drinking and. everything that he's done, it's crazy. Steve will do it. Go visit him. Thank. you. Um what else before we get out of here? You come see me, by the way, if you have. not bought tickets for Wiseguys Comedy.

Club in Salt Lake City. Good Mormons out. there, please come and see me. We'd. really appreciate that. So cool. Westhampton Beach, doing the live. podcast, myself, Benjamin, Ray Kump at. the Westhampton PAC. Uh special out on. Netflix August 16th. Probably have a trailer and a um. uh. little promotion coming out about that. Uh. soon. This is fun. Surviving an active. shooter, LA County Sheriff. This is. great. Uh.

An active shooter is part of American. life. Mhm. Um I don't even know if it's a bad part. It's just something. I don't even think. you have to look at it negatively. It's. a great time for you to show your. ingenuity and your skill set. But this. video, surviving an active shooter, uh this is from 2015. because we've had this problem for a. minute. Um let's play a little bit of. this. Okay. Now, where did this go out. to? Who Who got this video? So, this is the LA County Sheriff's made.

this, but this has been making the. rounds on Twitter as this here, which I. haven't been able to find because. companies play it for people when they. get hired now at places. Watching active shooter training for. work. This [ __ ] is insane. this guy just like just going ape [ __ ]. on people in the in the place. And like. everybody watches this before you work. at Sears, Walmart. of an American workplace. Yeah. Somebody taking a gun out of their bag. in the middle of the day and blowing.

people's heads off is part of an. American workplace. If you don't like. it, move to Mexico City. like any other turned tragic today when. an employee opened fire on his. supervisor and fellow co-workers. Students, parents. They turned the comments off for this, obviously. Yeah, I would imagine. Details are just coming in, but we're. being told that a heavily armed gunman. opened fire this evening at the mall. food court behind me. There's no. official word on.

Let's skip forward here. Here we go. This is for the people to know how to. survive in any situation. to get some sleep. You're looking like a. vampire. You sleep. You ain't got no babies at. home keeping you up. What the hell? Uh. them again. We've tried. I'm sorry. We're going to have to let you go. Active shooter killings are a tragic,

unpredictable reality. How much blood? There's so much blood. There's so much blood. By the way, let's go back to that. That. is so much blood. So much blood. She goes, "Listen, we're going to have. to let you go. We're going to have to let you go." And. then he just blows her head off. He's like, "Fuck, but I want to work at. this warehouse.". You're telling me I can't work at this. warehouse? He just goes out like it's just. 2006, the US has averaged an active.

shooter event with four or more deaths. every 2.9 months. Even though the number of active shooter. events has been increasing, your odds of being involved in one are. still very slim. That's nice. But just like fire drills and earthquake. preparedness, making a plan in advance. can make all the difference. Yeah, but lizards live in tanks. I mean, Lizards live in tanks. I love this like. LA. I love these like.

like these like weird the the dialogue. that they write in between. the active shooter. The guy with the baby. One guy's like, "You ain't got babies. keeping you up?" And then this girl. walks in and she goes, "Lizards live in. tanks.". What a strange. It's odd. And all these people are in LA like. wanting to be actors. There's there they're all in the these. spaces. I mean, you got to get a gig. A senseless attack, but why doesn't. matter. Hey. Hey, buddy.

You're a little crazy. What matters is surviving. Okay, how? On average, 20. Stop telling us. We know. How do I. survive? How do I do it? Killers usually choose their victims at. random. They look for easy targets. That's not comforting. So, the harder you are to see or to hit, the safer you are. Smart. Smart. When an attack starts, if you can find a.

way out of the location, do so. Get out. Smart. If you stay calm and think clearly, even. in the middle of a life and death event, you improve your chances of making it. out. Visualize your movements in. advance. What are we going to do? Look at me. Look at me. I can get us. out. Stay behind me. Stay behind me. Use cover, something that will stop a. bullet and concealment, something that. at least keeps you out of sight. Use cover. Attention, Southlake units.

Something that would stop a bullet. It's like. Use cover. Something that would stop a bullet. Okay. Got 245 ESV 417. Subject with a handgun. Yeah. I love this like the 911 guy. silver team. He's like, "They're. shooting up the mall again.". Hey, we have Hello, is anyone working. out there? Yeah, we've got another. shooting at the mall food court. Um.

You know, what else you want me to tell you? It's. America. Subject's wearing a face mask, possible. body armor. Use any available means to get out, including emergency exits or windows. Most restaurants and retail locations. will also have exits in the back through. kitchens or stock rooms. How great would it be to see a guy just. like following them through that, just. shooting at them? You're not getting away. This part's crazy here with. We'll see in a second.

Even in the best cases, police are. minutes, not seconds away. You must take action to protect. yourself. Okay. Everybody stay calm. It's probably just. a drill. Damn. But it's like John Wick. The The The.

production is insane. Oh my god. Oh my god, Kate. Please tell me. If you can help others without putting. yourself in danger. other countries playing this. Yeah. I mean they just got what a barbaric. like society. It's hilarious. Yeah. I want to get to the part with the cops. because they're like don't they. about how to approach the police so they. don't shoot you. one thing I like about this video so far. is they've not pretended the cops are.

going to help you. Like that is what I like. Like there's. actually been no like wait for the cops. or the cops are on their way. The only. thing they've said is the cops are. minutes not seconds away and I think. they should also follow that up with. they may not even come in. The cops may choose to stand outside for. an hour. So don't even think they'll. necessarily help you. Yeah because you're supposed to assist. the injured. Like you're supposed. well huh? She just got shot. She's like. oh boy.

If you can't move safely to an exit. or confined area. I wonder why she didn't book any other. roles. She's got she just got shot. Watch this. help others without putting yourself in. unnecessary danger. do so. What's your name? Lori. Lori. I'm Lori. If you can't move safely to an exit. get to a room or a confined area you can. lock down.

Then secure the location. It is weird they tell you to do. everything. You secure the location. Oh well no I like that. No this is at. least honest. They're not telling you. the cops are coming to help you. Oh my god. There's somebody shooting. Well that girl smiles. The black girl. smiles over there. Go back to that. No no no. She goes in she goes there's somebody. shooting the black girl literally. smiles. Watch this.

THERE'S SOMEBODY SHOOTING. LOOK AT THE BLACK GIRL SMILE. THAT WHITE [ __ ] DONE GOT SHOT. WATCH. THIS, IT'S HILARIOUS. THIS IS THEY. DIDN'T edit that. That's amazing. WATCH. THIS. SHE SMILES. AMAZING. She literally. smiled. You'd think that they would. You'd think the director would be like, "No, no, no, you're upset about this.". Right. Right. You're upset. This development bothers.

you. No, but I mean, go back one more time. Yeah. The girl literally smiles. This girl comes in cuz there's somebody. shooting. This girl literally smiles. Oh my god. There's somebody shooting. Everybody stay calm. Remember how we. mean, she's smiling. Like flirtatious. Like. windows. Grab your emergency bag from my. desk. She's like, "Oh, this could be a fun. day.". Drywall won't stop a bullet. But there.

are steps to take to stay safe. Lock. or barricade the doors. Turn off the. lights. Move away from any windows, and. silence your cell phone. The other door is unlocked. Move desks. or anything. JUST BLOCK IT. A modern emergency bag can include a. first aid kit, gloves, emergency plans. for the building, and casualty cards to. alert first responders to any wounded. victims.

The cops are still not here. It's 2. hours later. shooting situations are over in 10 to 15. minutes. Attention Lakewood units, code three's. needed at a 245 GSB 417. It's going to. be at Alexander. Now, Uvalde Uvalde was like 2 days. Law enforcement's first responsibility. when entering an active shooter. situation is to stop the suspect, not to. render aid to the victims. Medical teams will enter the scene as.

soon as the suspect is no longer a. threat or is confirmed in another. location. Silence any cell phones and remain. quiet. Do not alert the shooter to your. presence. Uh-oh. Did you see just like a Snapchat. notification go off?

The morbidly obese cops are here. Look. how fat the cops are. Go back to that. Go back to how fat the cops are. They're very fat. Finally, after 15 minutes, the fattest. cops you've ever seen will arrive. Here they come. There they are. The piglets are here.

Sheriff's department, is there anyone. inside? Yes. So, this is this I don't even. understand. Just hang tight. What is that? You're supposed to like. show law enforcement like a red card? It's called the casualty card. Yeah. Do you have to fill it out or do you. have one? You fill out a casualty card about who. made it and who didn't and you just put. it outside the door.

What's the problem? What's the problem? All right. Well, folks, that's the episode uh for. this week. Lot going on. Stay safe out. there. Try to. keep yourself uh healthy and wealthy. Um. it's it's difficult. Mhm. Try to keep yourself from getting shot, you know. I don't know what to tell you. It's been uh. it's been uh kind of violent out there. Uh but the summer I don't think it's.

been that bad with crime. I think it's. been. I haven't heard anything. So, um you. know, just try to. And you know, if you go down there to. Mexico, leave them alone. Stop Stop setting up Don't go down there. and set up life coaching businesses. Go and have some tequila and get out of. there. What are you doing? You're not. timdilloncomedy.com. for tickets to the shows that we have.

Uh we will see everybody on Patreon and. then next week. Thank you.