Please Behave | The Tim Dillon Show #338

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim. Dylan show uh we have uh coming up later. in the broadcast an Insider from svb. Silicon Valley Bank who calls into the. show and discusses the chaos that's. happening they have been taken over by. the federal government he said there's. ads now for svb saying Silicon Valley. Bank is the safest place uh to put your. money. um but we're looking at potentially. um you know they're trying to find a. buyer for svb they're trying to find a. buyer it's a it's a very woke bank and.

you know it's diverse and inclusive and. fun and sexy and you know gender is a. construct and everything it's a fun kind. of Silicon Valley Bank that's what they. do and I'm not that's not the reason it. collapsed I'm not I'm not going on some. reaction or anything here I'm just. saying it's part of the vibe it's a Vibe. Silicon Valley Bank was a Vibe and they. tried to get the Saudis to buy it and. the Saudis have a little decidedly. different vibe than that but I think. nothing would make more sense than. having the Saudis come in and whip. Silicon Valley Bank into shape watching.

an analyst at Silicon Valley Bank. explain the concept of non-binary to. Mohammed bin Salman is something I would. like to see that's something I would. like to see members of the Saudi. Sovereign wealth fund sitting there with. Silicon Valley bank and going through. just the office policies. you know the human resources policies at. the bank who can say what to whom I. think that's a great idea in fact if.

this. if this whole Bank collapse which people. are debating whether it's going to be a. massive collapse I'm reading things that. say this is Lehman Brothers credit Swiss. is going down even though they got a 52. billion dollar loan from the Central. Bank of Switzerland they're still done. they're looking at scenarios for the. bank over the weekend people are going. this is a similar thing that happened to. Lehman Monday is going to be Black. Monday credit Swiss is going to go first. national is going to go credit Swiss is.

a trillion First National although the. regional Banks it'll take down with it. is a trillion we're looking at massive. runs on the bank I believe I believe a. crazy amount of money was taken out of. JP Morgan because these are Bank runs. people are going we want our money. and maybe Peter Thiel caused this run at. svb we don't know. it's possible but people the bank's been. in solvent for a while and Peter chill. goes I gotta get my [ __ ] money out of. there and people start you know going. well you know what Peter till took his. money out maybe I'll take my money out.

but these are kind of these. old-fashioned Bank runs. um and people don't really know how bad. they're gonna get and if this is going. to be systemic and spread but. um what excites me potentially about. this is seeing Middle Eastern. dictatorships take over Progressive Bay. Area lenders in America just that. because it's a fun sitcom. it's an actual fun sitcom to see Saudi. Nationals going into Silicon Valley Bank.

and dealing with the people that work. there it's an actual if that's what. comes out of this we're the Middle. Eastern you know ultra-conservative. religious Saudi people have to go in and. run this woke American Northern NorCal. Northern California company is this not. gonna be a hoot that to me could be a. lot of fun now obviously people are. saying that's best case because nobody. wants to buy svb the Saudis don't want.

to buy it. because it's just you know it's got a. bunch of shitty startup ideas and a. bunch of people are walking around with. blue hair on the Saudis go we're not. into that we want Live Nation that makes. the money we get it we understand it put. Billy eilish on the stage she cuts. herself the kids pay the money not this. [ __ ] game of like no you have no idea. how many great ideas we have tell them. about your idea tell them about your. idea it's that's what it is silicon van.

gave every [ __ ] guy at Stanford with. a hoodie four hundred thousand dollars. to come up with anything they wanted and. where are where is the new Uber where. are these things they don't exist. because tack like everything else is. fake there's a few good ideas like. movies or music there's a few good ideas. many of them happen by accident most of. the good ideas in Tech are people that. are like I would like to [ __ ] women I.

mean this is what happens they Facebook. Zuckerberg the entire Facebook all of. meta which is now a nightmare because. people are leaving this horrible world. he created on the on the metaverse I. don't know who's left in the metaverse. it's like pedophiles that are like what. is this let's go back to the dark web. this is horrible but all meta was was. Mark Zuckerberg trying to get laid. you know all a lot of these advancements. in Tech come because you have people. that are brilliant but maybe they're on.

the Spectrum maybe they're not the most. socially capable people and they they. actually have these you know brilliant. ideas and some of those ideas end up. enriching our quality of life and many. of them don't right many of them have. made our quality of life kind of worse. more lonely more isolating and uh you. know but Silicon Valley Bank they're the. big startup Bank they're the bank that. hands money to all these [ __ ]. and goes just run with it do what you. you know do what you want to do. and uh nobody's buying that right now.

like nobody they haven't found a buyer. it's not to say that they won't but they. haven't found a buyer because you know. it's not it's it's like you know people. are going that's not a sure thing it's. the opposite of a sure thing you have. all this entrepreneurial Talent. supposedly you have all these great. ideas for companies maybe but what you. don't have is a sure fire thing that's. where the Saudis commit by Live Nation. no problem in the middle of the pandemic. they're like yeah we know hey as soon as. the pandemic's over people are gonna go.

out they're gonna go to concerts they're. gonna go to comedy shows like the ones. I'm doing at the Chicago Theater uh on. June 9th and the Masonic in San. Francisco on June 21st Tim. dilloncomedy.com get all your tickets to. everything I'm at Milwaukee at the Pabst. Theater second show we edited at the. Pantages Theater in Tacoma whatever it's. not a commercial for myself what I'm. saying is that timetablecomedy.com what. I'm saying is that Live Nation probably. is a better it was a better it's more. you can understand it the Saudis. understand it they go we like live.

things usually it's we get to hand but. we understand what a live thing is we. understand Live Events usually we're. beheading women we're burning gay people. at the stake but it's live they like. live they got it this [ __ ] is like you. know they don't know what the [ __ ]. going on so they understand yes we put a. bunch of people in a room and we go and. get to thieves and we cut the hand off. the thief and everybody cheers and we go. oh it's not quite like that it's more. like Drake and I spies in a big field.

but the Saudis understand that they. understand what life is I wouldn't buy. Silicon Valley Bank I don't know what it. I don't know what's happened I don't. know who you got do you have the next. Mark Zuckerberg you have the next. Elizabeth Holmes we don't know but what. we're excited about is Tech now becoming. the new manufacturing where it's taken. over other people do it in other. countries and the tech people we force. them to live the same way that we have. forced generations of people in. manufacturing to live they live in Rust.

Belt states they live in the middle of. the country we ship their jobs overseas. and they get addicted to opioids we. watch their lives hollow out we watch. their faces hollow out like a zenpick. William you know it gets because the. example gets really you start to see it. now in California gets really hard and. it's like a fish and they get really. hard kind of like that Scream painting. but we watch the faces because if you go. to some of these play you know read meth. land which is a great book all of these. people their their faces hollow out and.

they have blue under their eyes and they. live in these these horrific uh. conditions in these towns uh with water. that's not good and food deserts where. they can't get this salad right we we. are we are optimistic. that many of the hopefully the tech. people will meet that same fate that. it's only fair right it's only fair that. eventually tech people have to live in. that I don't want to say a place because. people are going to get offended by.

whatever I say right if I'm I'm gonna. use a a town as an example or. um. something that is grotesque and you know. but but let's just say uh let's just say. a town uh somewhere uh where it is not. nice out huh it's not nice and maybe. it's hot and sticky and there's you know. there's just it's a town that has seen. better days you know will Austin one day. look like Flint Michigan.

oh. I mean will Austin one day look you know. because we go when I go on the road I go. we drive through these things we drive. through Flint Michigan we drive through. these old you know rust belt or you know. all of these different states that at. one time were standards of manufacturing. you know up in I believe I did a theater. up in Rochester New York and you know. there was a guy standing next to me I. believe it was Rochester might have been. Schenectady but I believe it was. Rochester and I was staying at the.

theater was by the Kodak what used to be. the Kodak Factory people used to take. photos and then Kodak obviously was the. film and this was big up until digital. cameras and phones and now the Kodak. Factory tests people's blood. they do blood tests. I think they test for drugs or maybe. they test for. cancers I don't know but that's what it. is now the Kodak Factory has become a. blood testing facility I believe up.

there in Upstate New York so I'd go to. places like this to perform and they. were a great audience and and we you. know we were we're grateful to everyone. it comes out to see comedy but it is it. is just my sincere hope it's a little. thing that I I like I love hope and to. me one day if Austin Texas. is. instead of a tech Hub just a thing where. like people walk around. and the only thing that's left is the. mothership comedy club The Joe Rogan.

Comedy Club and I somehow survived. despite you know my smoking and the. weight and everything I somehow survive. and I'm in my 70s or 60s and I'm there. and and I'm like we have the busts of. Ron White and Roseanne that are long. gone but we just we've stuffed them you. know we've done we've done like uh what. do they call that Taxidermy we've. Taxidermy our favorite uh Comedians and. I'm up there being like Oh Austin used. to be a real Tech Hub looking at it now. and it's just the tech people meet the.

same fate as the manufacturing sector. there's something so great about because. it's it's it's great now in Austin. everybody's excited and everybody's a. new glass buildings and they're buying. houses in the Westlake Hills that look. just like L.A except you know it's. there's a there's a disgusting. vomit-colored River whatever is fine. I've I've gone I've I've done that well. repeatedly and you know whatever I I. actually like Austin a little more now. than I did but just it's a perfect. example in San Francisco see San. Francisco it's not even fun San. Francisco's already a hellscape it's.

already where what it's going to be. there's something about this if the tech. thing is so good for Humanity why is. everywhere that the tech things going on. looks like the apocalypse. why is that why if this Tech thing is. just such a universal good is San. Francisco the area that Tech has been. concentrated in for years. literally an insane Healthcare it's very.

interesting I was passing I was in. Austin for South by for the opening of. Jones club which is a lot of fun if. you're down there go grab tickets. um when I saw this little homeless. encampment in Austin and then there's. something right next to it there was a. poster that says the rise of virtual. communities and there was a poster and. there's this guy you know sitting there. on a on a mattress in the middle of you. know the the sidewalk and on the chain. link fence next to him there was a. poster that says the rise of virtual. communities it's very interesting that.

this seems to go hand in hand the the. attack seems to go hand in hand with the. decay of these Urban centers because. tech people usually set up shop on the. outside they get all the real estate it. on the outside of these cities they prop. it up it becomes very expensive but the. cities themselves and maybe some of the. poor suburbs on the outside of the. Cities don't do well so I am not saying. that I want to see all of these tech. people living like the old manufacturing.

people. Oxycontin addicts sitting in a table. eating store brand ketchup on White. Bread while their children run around in. the yard and play with the gun I'm not. saying I want that I'm saying it might. be fun it might be fun to see people who. used to work in Tech wearing flannel. shirts not ironically because they have.

nothing else that might be good seeing. people that used to work in a fun Tech. environment where everybody's in hoodies. and nobody had to wear suits and it was. so comfortable to ruin the world it. might be fun to see those people deal. with crippling generational poverty and. addiction. it may not be it might I don't know I'm. just saying it might be fun to see that. be smart don't start kick the habit pull.

it out before it puts you out all. phrases we've heard a hundred times yet. we still continue that bad habits any. bad habit that's hard. um you know our sponsor fume is on a. mission to accelerate Humanity's breakup. from the bad happens to consume too many. of us fume is a natural diffusive device. that uses uh plants and Behavioral. Science to help you trade out your. negative habit for positive one fume is. not a vape it is a non-electric device. designed to transform your negative. habits instead of PODS filled with. potentially harmful chemicals like a. vape fume uses cores infused with plants.

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I don't like this Bank collapse and I. and because I have a little bit of money. now so what I want the poor to do if. this happens behave please. because I know the poor and they are. good people but they will start. and what we're asking you to do. please is just watch the Netflix. if they won't let you get the money out. of your account just watch the goddamn. Netflix.

don't go out into the street and try to. kill me when I'm in my Bentley which is. from 2018. it's not even new it's not even new. don't pull me out of that and kill me. because you have issues what you have to. do is watch the Netflix if it all goes. big because they have how how many. programs do they have on that it's. unending how many programs you have on. Netflix you will get food we will give.

you food calm down you're gonna get food. it'll be bugs but bugs are good they're. crunchy like cookies. what's on Netflix there are 36 000 hours. to go through sit and watch Netflix. don't take to the streets. please behave. behave. please God it's perfect weather for this. too I wish this was the dead of Summer.

I wish this was the dead of Summer this. is perfect Springtime weather for a. fight this is like the Arab Spring we. could have it in America please be Eve. just relax. don't kill me kill the others they have. more. they have more I'm telling you they have. more I'll show you where they live. behave watch the Netflix eat the can of. pasta you get.

we will give you a can of pasta eat it. share it with the children. and pray get God again time for God. can of Pasta Plus God equals good life. killing me not nice. that's not right I'm in this Blended but. we're over this right we know they're. rapists but they make free acts get. someone else to make three acts I'll.

throw it out. I'm telling you right now just please. behave don't go nuts out there I know. they're gonna go nuts I can feel it this. is what's gonna happen they're gonna. Monday they're gonna go to the ATM and. his money's not gonna come out and they. are going to it's gonna be bad. but I would like you at that moment when. the money doesn't come out of the ATM I. want you to go huh. go back to your home. because we are sending care packages.

they will be sent to you the government. will provide for you you will get a can. of pasta you will get a bag of cake. a bag of sugar cake for the kids. now this is my this could be my last. plea it might be my last book I didn't. know I'd be rich I'm 38 years old I had. no money my whole life I was a fat. failure my whole life from when I was.

[ __ ] nine till now I only have a. little bit of money now a little bit of. money now and it's not even enough money. it's a it's enough money to take a 22. year old out to dinner and go here's. salmon oh there's your penis that's not. even a lot of it's a little bit of money. please don't kill me when you see me in. Beverly Hills stay out of Beverly Hills. please please stay out of Beverly Hills. it's not right. I made money in a few years the the. and now I'm the Adam.

hate me it's not my fault. it's not my fault these glasses are. these are worth maybe eight eight. hundred thousand dollars. I'm kidding they were 1100 I know it's. disgusting I know it's your rent I know. it's your rent I don't know what to do. for you I'm sorry I believe you should. have health care I've always said that. in a clinic that's separate from me. because they're like overcrowding I. don't want to smell you and see your.

problems I'm just saying when this. happens on Monday and can you please. relax a little bit and behave. that's all I'm asking I'm just asking it. because I just have money for the last. couple of years that's it so long I was. one of you at one point waiting for the. can of pasta in my hovel thinking of. eating my fam I understand that. but I don't listen I just you know I got. a middle of money on the internet it's. not a big deal so I just want everyone.

to behave and relax because I God I. think it's coming and I just don't it's. not fair Now give me a couple of years. please. Christ almighty enough bring up some. articles is this is this even gonna. happen maybe I'm overstating it God I. hope I am. why don't we come up with people to kill. so but so that it's not me we can get. people that really deserve people that. have so much more money than me and I. will help you how many how many people.

took their money out of Chase. how many people took their money out of. Chase that's always a good indicator. because chases they you know Jamie. Diamond says it's a vault and what he. means by that is it's a vault of all the. Epstein tapes but it it's still a vault. and uh but people are saying go to that. guy Guantanamo Bay on Twitter he's he's. great he just tweets about Marxism and. 911 all day but it's fun you know I like. someone that commits I like a theme and. um he really does he just does deep. Dives on CIA figures that were involved. in in 911 but he's he's posing these.

really interesting articles about the. banking class and Peter Schiff I mean. God is Peter Schiff he's probably got a. 24-hour erection he's been predicting. this collapse for years and it's finally. here the banks are going to evaporate. it's a liquidity crisis the FED cannot. lower the interest rates to zero it. would you know it's all over now and all. I'm asking on behalf of people that have. made money in the last three years is. that you remember that there are people. that have had money for a very very very. very very very long time kill them. that's all I'm asking.

if you I I will help you I will help you. do you want to start a podcast this is a. good time to start a podcast you can do. it I will help you so I'm just saying. don't kill me I know that it feels like. the right thing to do and I in your. shoes might kill me too but there's a. lot of good things coming your way if. you behave can of pasta open it mmm. yummy time a bag of cake it won't be a.

cake it'll be cake cake bits we'll call. them cake comes it's just easier to. deliver and you can put your hand in it. and it'll be like coffee Crumbs from a. crumb cake but with Funfetti sprinkles. then you could just you'd throw it at. the kids and the kids are going nuts. with the Funfetti it's gonna be fine. it's gonna be okay we're gonna give you. a smoothie you're gonna get a smoothie. for your bones strong but and you're. gonna be allowed out of the house for. for a good amount of time to get the.

exercise but what we can't have is. violent mobs in the street asking for my. Bentley from 2018. it's not going to. help you it's from 2018. it's not even. that good. um so that that's my whole thing my. whole thing is like. um you know I just I just want everyone. to behave that's all that's all I'm. asking for you can get mad at me you can. get offended I'm just saying I've only. had money for a couple of years I used. to hang out in these really poor places. where I would do drugs when I was a.

child and people would do crazy heinous. things and I you know that was the. majority of my life I was a junkie from. when I was 12 or 13 years old till 25. just drugs alcohol you know and then. from 25 to 35 it was basically just. stand-up comedy and working and then. from you know 35 to 38 which is what I. am now we've made a little bit of money. but that's certainly I am certainly not. the person to kill in this situation. there are like Chelsea Handler Chelsea.

Handler has more money than me she has a. lot more money than me I'm not saying. kill her but I'm saying if there's a. this is a hierarchy everybody right now. is doing e-commerce this made me the. only way to survive but you need to. worry about origination. designing your product making sure it's. marketed effectively you don't need to. worry about the back orders you don't. need to worry about shipping ship. station is the way to do it it efforts. effortlessly integrates everywhere you. sell online including Amazon Etsy eBay. Shopify and more manage every order from.

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they've recorded over 15 billion dollars. for their clientele all you have to do. is dial pound law or go to the. people.com10 that's dial pound law or. forthepeople.com Jim that's dial pound. law or forthepeople.com Tim this is a. paid advertisement Credit Suisse CFO. teams to hold talks this week on. scenarios for Bank this is never good. when you have a weekend meeting with. people that are asking for the scenarios. credit Swiss will be holding meetings. over the weekend to assess scenarios for.

the bank as it struggles to regain. Confidence from the market. people with knowledge of the matter say. and what this basically means is that. you have uh you know the CFO and people. like that and the CEO and they're going. through the numbers and they're trying. to formulate scenarios that mean that. may reshape the future of the bank and. they're not commenting on that of course. but this looks a little similar to when. people have been tweeting and writing. about this that's what happened to. Lehman Brothers as well now.

we have as a country and I want you to. think about this over the last year. because this has been the policy of the. United States of America the policy of. this country as I've talked about. um has been. um basically a National Suicide with. regard to the unwavering support of the. Ukraine billions and billions hundreds. of billions of dollars to the Ukraine. doing nothing but increasing the resolve.

in in terms of Russia with their uh. willing to do to win the war pushing. Russia and China closer together okay. trying to sanction Russia Russia then. going [ __ ] you we're just going to sell. natural gas to other places like India. ending up being kind of financially okay. with regard to how Russia operates you. know the Russians that the economy is. much obviously much smaller than the. United States but they were able to be. they were pretty pretty quickly were.

able to shore up their economy even. after these sanctions which did not have. the devastating blow and impact that we. thought we are now in a position where. we pollen is sending uh uh fighter jets. to the Ukraine we have a much wider War. potentially going to happen right now uh. that the United States is not only. engineering it is supporting and it this. is probably something we either want to. happen or God are the people running.

this country stupid uh not thinking it. would happen I'm voting for the former. this is something we actually want to. see happen you also now have what looks. pretty much like an economic collapse or. the best case of fed correction but. really what an economic collapse at home. because we are not you know minding the. store we had artificially low interest. rates for well over a decade for the. longest period really in American. history we enabled bubbles everywhere in. real estate and Tech and everything and. now those chickens are coming home to.

roost uh there's Bank runs 550 million. people have withdrawn money out of banks. um these bubbles are bursting the tech. bubble which you know has been the. bubble that is probably the most obvious. the most reported on is now bursting in. front of your eyes which is why you know. Silicon Valley Bank which is the startup. bank is collapse it's now in you know. custody of the feds and now we have. other problems credit Swiss. um First National Bank.

this could be very very ugly all the. while we are continuing to write checks. to support a war in the Ukraine between. uh a regional conflict between this you. know Russia and the Ukraine which. started out over a few regions in in the. the dunbas area I think it's Northern. Ukraine I don't know and now uh with the. rhetoric of the Ukrainian leader has. become a all-out fight who's going to. win Russia or Ukraine which regime will.

get toppled first in the United States. of America is participating in that we. could not be in a worse position. globally right now we have Russia and. China kind of working together. we have our economic power the thing. that we pride ourselves on we're we are. going to be seeing a massive reduction. right now in our economy a huge. contraction best case obviously. um and it's not like 2008 the FED can't.

do what it did then it cannot Infuse. Capital the way it did it cannot go save. the banks it cannot save the entire. Financial system we have spent years and. years and years creating this problem. everybody people that are a lot smarter. than me people who understand this in in. depth in the way that I do not have been. warning that this day will come and it. feels like this day is coming I hope. that's not the case and I only ask you. to not kill me if you see me in the. street. um I'll give you the glasses don't kill. me they're you know they're nice you got.

to keep cleaning them over and over and. over to get a spray with the whole thing. but I'm just saying that. we have a president who's has dementia. he's in the cognitive decline he's not. running the show the show is this is to. anyone this is not political about it. it's not a political idea I'm not like. well is it there it's it's obvious to. anyone that Joe Biden is barely. cognizant like you know Joe Biden's. family you know I would talk about this. on the patreon but Joe Biden's family. like had some meeting in Nantucket.

deciding whether he was going to run. again and they all came to the. conclusion that was a good idea that he. ran again it's like what questions were. asked at the meeting at the family. meeting like what topics of discussion. were there to ascertain that Biden was. good to run again like that's a little. wild to me the idea that they're like. well pop seems good. good. I mean he's falling he's drooling he.

doesn't really know where he is or what. he's doing but I think it seems like he. we could so he's kind of you know. they're stuffing him they're bringing. him out they're giving him the best. drugs uh I guess to just get him through. these things. but uh you know because he is the he's. the system right he's the face of of of. the way that we've been running this. system forever for hundreds of years Joe. Biden is not the face of it and what an. appropriate face. could there be more of an appropriate.

phrase that hollowed out gargoyle face. of someone who knows where the bodies. are buried which is why he was elected. and is basically trying to put a face on. American Military uh policy militarism. American Empire building and financial. um you know the dominance of uh large. corporations in America uh as the. Arbiters of national policy that is what. Joe Biden was elected to do and then. give you a little you know dangle little.

things like oh here's a year off. Community College and all these things. it may and oh we have look it's a trans. Batman all these things that make you. think there's actual progress happening. but what he really is elected to do is. doing what he he does right he's a. symbol of national death and then it's. not that he's horrible either I mean. there could have been a lot worse right. you they could have elected you know. worse people maybe at this stage of our. Empire's decline having a dead president. is better than having a live one I don't. know that's a fair debate but what. you're seeing now is you're seeing you.

know. the real rubber meets the road. reality of that our lifestyles and this. is you know was said by Russ Baker on. the show he goes they've been. artificially subsidized for a very long. time. the things that we take for granted the. way that we live the homes that we live. in the gas we put in our cars the credit. that we charge all of the things that we. need all of these things we never really. think about them we always know that.

someone somewhere bails us out there's. always somebody that bails the system. out there is always somebody that comes. from up above some Illuminati meeting. some [ __ ] a group of people chanting. in the woods figures it out there's. always somebody above us there's an. adult there's Mommy and Daddy and yes. they're the luciferian elite but they. kind of always come through at the end. and they keep the Chick-fil-A pumping. and that's all we really think about we. think about at the end of the day. somebody always comes from some dark.

crevice or corner from some smoke-filled. room uh from some dark I don't know a. basement seller of a mansion in Newport. Rhode Island some you know humanoid. figure uh comes out and saves the day. there's always some backroom deal made. that bails us out and it's all it's. really our it's a prayer that that. happens now if it doesn't happen now I. don't know what will happen I don't know. what will happen. um the thing that we have going for us.

is a massive military. that's what the dollar is backed up by. right the power of the gun so we do have. a massive military. there's that. but there's not too much else going for. us and that's a little scary and I don't. know how many backroom deals are going. to save us uh right now it is it is. something where even the menial. understanding that I have of these. things is that they are very bad and. they are not good. um that's the you know that's the Kamala.

Harris explanation Russia is a bigger. country that invaded Ukraine which is a. smaller country so I'll do the Kamala. Harris explanation Banks when they have. money are good Banks without money are. bad but that's why they explain things. to you like three-year-olds because they. think you are a three-year-old I mean. that's really what we've we've seen I. mean this is idiocracy in real time. we've seen uh the things you're supposed. to swallow and accept get increasingly. ridiculous over time increasingly. ridiculous over time so we're at a point.

now where the reason that you've been. able to get people to accept all this. gobbledygook is because you can still. put food in their faces and they can. still turn on their air conditioner and. things haven't completely collapsed they. have in other parts of the country that. we ignore but now it might be coming for. all of us so the hope is that somewhere. some reptile figure something out this. is uh you know this is time to uh.

basically hope that this is not a. massive uh failure of all the banks this. is not going to look good. because it doesn't turn into a glorious. Marxist Revolution what it just turns. into is a lot of fat people in the. street sitting down. there's going to be a lot of fat people. sitting in the street it's not going to. look good there's going to be a lot of. large overweight people. sitting in the street and gonna have to. walk around them and walk over them and. it's going to be very very difficult.

you know it's basically it's like a line. it a ride for Disney World but. everybody's given up because they're. like we don't even know what's happening. is it broken. the fat people yell as they sit on the. line is it broken. it is it is broken. Sam Hyde tweeted something or retweeted. something that was really funny about. um that America was a carnival. uh people are in America are now. becoming aware that they are uh on a. carnival ride or on a Carnival that is.

closing down and it was just these. people like throwing things in like a. Walmart or something but that is kind of. analogous to what it you know does feel. like a little bit it's like we've gone. on all the rides but now it is kind of. it is closing down. um you know and and listen I I'm only. asking for I am only asking for your uh. patience because. whatever happens there's going to be. there's going to be we can here's the. good thing about our food supply it's.

chemicals. this is a good thing the good thing. about our food supply is it's chemicals. it's not going anywhere those same. chemicals that spilled all over those. people's yards in Palestine Ohio where's. that in the news by the way and I'm. still trying to do the [ __ ] benefit. show it's hard to get avails from. theaters around there relax I'm gonna do. it with Matt Rife. who's who's the hot comedian with the. six pack it's gonna be weird it's gonna. be like two guys on stage they're the. same person and half of the audience.

will be his fans which is like hot. checks and half the audience will be my. fans Jan six but the point is what we're. doing is we're we're trying to figure. that out but the same chemicals that are. in those spills are used at the Olive. Garden. the good it's yellow garden it's the. same chemicals there's no difference the. good news is you've been eating. chemicals for your entire life. in Europe people will die if they if. someone from Europe at the Olive Garden. they would drop dead in the parking lot. they would go because your body wouldn't.

be able to handle it but you have been. acclimated to chemicals your entire life. so when we have to eat chemicals sludge. because that's the only thing left your. system will go. tastes like a tour of Italy to me. so that's a good thing here's another. great thing we have a lot of space in. America nobody talks about this we have. acres and acres and acres and acres of. land there's a lot of [ __ ] land. there's more than enough land for. everybody to set up their own tiny house. live out of a van whatever there's a lot.

of land it's a lot of land not great. land because the rich have taken all of. that you know the coast and the waters. and the rivers. there's not a lot of that but there's a. lot of flat hot. Dusty land that is land that you can. live on this isn't Panic Time by any. stretch if you don't mind living in a. car living by your wits. you know getting a weapon uh learning. how to skin a deer watched Rogan they'll. tell you about the back strap how to do.

it uh this is not a bad time this is an. invigorating time I think it's an. exciting time for people this is a time. where I think people are gonna actually. start to connect with who they really. are as people they go well I don't wanna. walk into that office don't like your. job good news you don't have one anymore. like to commute to work great news. there's no work to commute to get a tiny. house or a van live on the side of the. highway there's a lot of land. this is why this crazy [ __ ] Marianne.

Williamson who's uh was just by the way. who I love and I'm gonna support. I don't know if she'll ever be my new. Lori there'll never be another Lorry. June 9 Chicago Theater 101 comedy.com. we'll celebrate the Life and Legacy of. um the great Lori Lightfoot The Life and. Legacy of Lori Lightfoot celebrated June. 9 Chicago Theater but Marianne. Williamson is now being accused she's. now being accused of abusive Behavior to. staff or something like that which makes. them maybe I'll supporter it's turning. into a definite and I don't know what.

um people don't understand about these. Crystal [ __ ] I'm gonna call them have. you ever met these Crystal [ __ ] the. crystal [ __ ] will fly off the handle. like no one else. people that are Zen and go it's all just. and Marianne Williams has got that Twang. and she goes the Health Care system in. America and it is not there is a. difference between health insurance and.

health care and Healthcare you know and. and when she is you know she has that. nice soft voice and she's just trying to. tell you about life because life is. about energy and energy is is all around. us at all times and it's a choice it's. making a choice and I'm a narcissist I. think only in myself every minute of the. day but I actually talk about others but. when I'm talking about other people I'm. thinking only myself and my energy and.

how I'm feeling and what I need to do. and other people are actually just ideas. to me that's me I'm Marianne Williamson. and and these and by the way that. doesn't mean she can't do some good [ __ ]. if she gets in there because a lot of. people do good stuff by accident most of. them but Marianne Williamson's a crystal. [ __ ] and these Crystal [ __ ] fly off. the [ __ ] handle you know people say. it would be foaming spitting. uncontrollable rage said a former. staffer who like most people that spoke. with Politico was granted Adam and. anonymity because of their concerns.

about being sued for breaking. non-disclosure agreements it was. traumatic and the experience in the end. was terrifying because here's what makes. Marion Williamson terrifying the rage is. unexpected when you work from you know. if you work for Chris Christie a big fat. guy you know he's gonna blow up he's. going to blow up blood sugar is low can. I pay a [ __ ] but when you work for. Marion Williams it all starts like this. it starts like this we can do real good. things together we can do real good. thing now did you get did you get me my. coffee. you did okay it's a little cold now.

it's look this cough is a little cold it. no it's a little cold the car that's all. no it's not a big deal. you know the real problem in this. country is you know people are living in. food deserts and they don't have access. to you know high quality vegan meals you. know what I got to be honest this coffee. is kind of bothering me a little more. than I thought it would be but it it's. it's fine I'm not gonna I'm not gonna. make are you Mexican by any chance I.

love that I spent time in Santa Fe uh. there was a writer's Retreat I was a. writer I am a writer I am a writer I. wrote all of my I don't do ghost writers. the people will tell you I actually. wrote all of my books. um and I was in Santa Fe we did a. writer's Retreat and uh the Mexicans. were actually because so much of what we. eat here that's Mexican food is very. unhealthy but that's not what they eat. Mexico they eat a lot of braises and. meats and stews and there's actually a. lot of vegetables and uh I I learned. that it's like I'm drinking iced coffee.

actually it's really it feels like I'm. I'm drinking ice here which is not what. I'm trying to do I'm trying to warn my. soul but anyway in Santa Fe at the. writer's Retreat I'm a writer I I was. sitting there. and these lovely abuelas is that what. you call them these abuelas these. Mexican grandmothers oh man they might. have been uh 80 90 150 years old I don't. know but these Abuelos would come in. every day with these blankets now I. swear they'd knit these blankets. overnight and they'd knit them with the. spirit of their people it was beautiful. and they would come in and you know.

every now and then they would swaddle me. like a child and put me to sleep and the. the thing about when the cough is cold. the thing about it is it hurts my throat. and my throat gets cold that's the thing. that's the only problem that's the only. problem honey so what I'm saying is and. do you have an abuela oh she's she's. passed on into the other realm well I. mean. peace to her but these are boilers would. they would they would they would they. would swaddle me and they would just.

they would tell me the tales of the that. they would tell the Mexican children and. I just and from that it was just such a. beautiful moment of transference of. energy from one abuela to a young writer. in Santa Fe New Mexico at a retreat did. I did I ask for a lemon bar I think I I. did am I losing my mind am I losing my. mind or did I ask for a lemon bar okay. because we're trying to change the world. here we're trying to change the [ __ ]. world okay and I'm telling you right now.

for the love of God if you [ __ ] with me. here and I'm just trying to put it I'm a. little late on the line I'm just gonna. lay it online my goal is to help other. people but if you [ __ ] with me here I. swear to God I swear to God I'll come. back and I'll kill you from every life. I'll kill you from every [ __ ]. lifetime that I've ever lived I'm. drinking icy [ __ ] coffee I'm the only. person in America that went to the. writer's retreat in Santa Fe and was. swaddled by old Mexican abuelas so that. I could come here and communicate the.

truth from their ancient people and I'm. telling you right now I shouldn't be. drinking cold coffee without a [ __ ]. lemon bar I'm just saying honey I'm not. trying to fly off the handle I'm not. trying to fly are you gay my first. husband was gay and that was fine I knew. that when I married him it didn't matter. because I believe in energy and energy. is the purest form of love and it didn't. matter to me that he had sex with man. that didn't really bother me what. bothered me was the lying isn't it. always lying that bothers you that's.

what bothered me I would tell him I. would say listen to me Christopher kind. of a gay name Christopher I'd say. Christopher I know everything you're. doing and with everybody and that's fine. with me I just don't need you lying. about it I don't need you lying about it. and it's just like you know it's one of. those things in life and you know we're. great friends to this day I mean we we. of course have the restraining order he. has one on me so I cannot see him in the. physical person but we are always. communicating through our dreams and um. I'm just telling you this I'm just.

telling you right this right now if. there's ever cold coffee on this [ __ ]. desk again I'm gonna [ __ ] murder you. you understand I'm going to kill you and. then I will kill you as many times as I. can I will chase you through these lives. because we get many lifetimes but here's. the thing in every lifetime I've been a. self-important [ __ ] and I will always be. a self-important white woman and a con. always you understand that [ __ ] dummy. you understand that you dumb [ __ ] you're. poor as [ __ ] that's why you can't eat.

good food like I do you poor fat [ __ ]. America is a bunch of poor fat [ __ ]. because they can't eat stars like I do I. eat the [ __ ] Milky Way and the Galaxy. not that [ __ ] bar I eat raw energy. [ __ ]. I eat agave syrup and I put it in my. [ __ ]. that's what I do I own a farm of agave. cactuses and I rub my [ __ ] with them the. spiky ones that's what I do and then I. offer the blood as the sacrifice to Odin. if you ever [ __ ] with my coffee again.

I'll rip your [ __ ] throat out I'll. rip your [ __ ] throat out you dirty. [ __ ] do you understand me you dirty. dirty dirty wet back [ __ ] get my [ __ ]. coffee right or I'll kill you. but that's what happens to people uh. like Marion Williamson because again. they are in a different vibrational. plane they don't need. um a lot of the things that we need. um they are fed um by energy and and uh. but she's our favorite I hope she sticks. with this I hope she doesn't leave I.

want to see her flip out more because. you got to remember when you're a. crystal [ __ ]. everything's about you. everything's about you. everything's about you right so whenever. that Apple card is upset even the. slightest bit. a real nightmare but. always we thank everybody for listening. Tim dilloncomedy.com we have. um live shows on sale in really cool. places Chicago and San Francisco two of. my favorite markets to do comedy were. also in Portland Tacoma North Charleston. Hershey PA Chicago Illinois Milwaukee.

Wisconsin ending in San Francisco and. they were kind of taking off the summer. to just podcast it is my sincere hope. that we are not in an insane crisis uh. financial crisis but if it is I've. already pleaded with you spare my life. I'll show you where the others are I I. will find I will I get the I'm friends. with the chefs we'll put the gun to the. chef we'll make them make all the good. food for us please I'm with you.

please. but behave. behave if it gets bad because there's. going to be a can of pasta and a bag of. cake cake em that's for the kids and for. you and there will be coffee and there. will be drugs and there will be Netflix. so don't worry about it there's nothing. better than eating a can of pasta and. and watching [ __ ] uh uh Outer Banks. how about that. you eat a little bag of cake and you.

watch a little Wednesday. and go what's the difference between. this and Harry Potter and you go oh shut. up who cares the country's collapsed. doesn't really matter. uh timle comedy.com and now we have an. interview with an Insider at Silicon. Valley Bank who's calling us anonymously. here we go listen to music and podcasts. and we know you do. raycon is premium audio at the perfect.

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get 15 off your raycon order that's buy. raycon.com to score 15 off buy. ratecon.com Tim dude it's so stressful. buying tickets I'm telling you right now. I was trying to go to the Taylor Swift. concert with a good friend of mine and I. said to her get us the tickets and she. couldn't and she took her own life. buying tickets to your favorite event. shouldn't be stressful game time is the. fastest and easiest way to buy tickets. for the sports music comedy and theaters. nears you with killer deals on last. minute tickets their best pricing.

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anonymous Insider now from Silicon. Valley Bank and we appreciate you. calling us we're gonna keep your uh. identity secret because I think to my. understanding you still may be working. there. um but we do we checked you out and you. are legit and we do appreciate you. calling. um are you still working in the bank in. in in any capacity or what what's going. on yeah so we're being what used to be. Silicon Valley Bank is being run by the. FED at the moment um they actually.

disappointed their own CEO the other day. from. a great guy I forgot his last name pop. it off with us or something like that. but um. the old company that used to be SBB I. think it's called svb Financial had just. filed for bankruptcy today so. um they're a different entity than we. are right now I think at the moment. we're called Silicon Valley Bridge. something or the other but yeah we're. being run by this bed at the moment so I. think that makes me a government. employee all right well congrats yeah.

um and there people are saying and I. know this is maybe outside of your range. of expertise people are positing that. you know you had Signature Bank collapse. Silicon Valley Bank people are now. saying Credit Suisse obviously getting. an infusion I believe 52 billion dollars. from a a Central Bank in in maybe. Switzerland if I recall. um that's correct that's correct right. people are still saying they're bringing. up the Lehman Brothers situation where.

they also had you could kind of this. restructuring going on over the weekend. looking at different scenarios for the. bank and that it still collapsed you. know noriel rabini has said like a you. know a a rate hike uh European Central. Bank I believe rate high could by even. half a basis point might collapse the. bank and then you might also see um uh. you know just kind of this like Black. Monday like you had in 2008 with Lehman.

Brothers uh I'm you know but obviously. being credit Swiss. um and then. um a First National Bank taking a bunch. of other small retail banks with a. credit Swiss being about a trillion but. of course you know Untold more money as. well and then you know I believe it's is. it Signature Bank that's all I'm sorry. it's First National right it's also. the First Republic Bank First Republic. yeah. so First Republic.

um. and they have you know maybe 10 or 12. smaller Regional Banks is it your. estimation it could get that bad Monday. or you don't know. I'm not here to you know like Doom and. Gloom but it definitely seems like uh. what you know everything that the FED is. trying to do at the moment seems to not. be working the way that they intended it. and you know banks are now banks that. were you know like First Republic Bank. is a bank that is run well it's a great.

institution. um and they're failing mass of a bank. run you know it's nothing no fault of. their own so it definitely seems like. um they just don't want to it seems like. they're trying to like just avoid. bailing out the entire system all. together but it seems that it's leading. that way like you know like you said. this isn't exactly my area of expertise. but um you know the feeling that I get. is that everyone is just on edge things. are changing hour by hour so. um you know I've just been constantly on. standby this entire week just waiting to.

see you know what next little bit of. news that we get so how did how did. Silicon Valley Bank is a bank run. as well right this is why Silicon Valley. Bank failed is this something initially. oh yeah I you know um. oh I forgot the exact wordings for it. but yeah it was you know the initial. problems are caused by a bank run you. know all these Silicon Valley Tech. companies keep like large amounts of. cash with us and you know on our. financial dealings spook them and they.

all just started taking their money out. of of the banks so yeah that's what you. know started all this back on you know. last Thursday and is this people are. blaming kind of Peter Thiel for this is. this something that you do you put any. Credence in that like the idea that he. was kind of running around telling. people they're insolvent and taking all. his money out yeah um you know from what. I've been told Silicon Valley Bank was. in Sullivan back in September. um and it just seems like they were just.

avoiding offloading all you know that. dead Capital that they had and you know. when they you know when they finally did. that you know that's when the bank runs. started to happen but um it's. you know I it's all you know this it it. was an unfortunate situation just. because you know in the Senior. Management at Silicon Valley made some. really horrible risky decisions and kind. of ran their entire company into the. ground and you know sold off all their.

stock you know in the process of it so. tell me what risky decisions you think. they made that ran as you said the. company into the ground. well I mean for as small of a bank you. know sap isn't exactly like a you know. it's not a small financial institution. but it's not a large one either and. during the pandemic things were going. great for us we were expanding at a rate. that seemed. you know of unsustainable honestly for. uh for a bank of our size and you know. as soon as the the economy started you.

know going south a little bit that we. were making layoffs and it just it. seemed like the decisions that were. being made by our Executives they. thought things were going to be you know. great forever interest rates are going. to be low forever and then I've seen as. they started to increase we were put in. a very bad situation almost immediately. what kind of place was it like to work. um it was you know. it was a very you know inclusive like. work environment you know it was it's a.

very hard place to get fired from you. know what I mean well um that's gonna. change. that's about to change huh yeah that's. uh but no it was um you know they. compensate their employees very well you. know that was the whole big thing a news. story as well everyone in the company. was getting their bonuses exactly at the. time that the company. um used to exist more or less so. they treat their employees really well. you know we have very nice offices and.

it's they definitely make you feel it's. like you know diversity and inclusion. and all that kind of stuff so um well. well that's lovely but that that clearly. didn't stop the nightmarish collapse no. yeah exactly it's um all the did they. focus too much on that with the. diversity and the inclusion stuff like. that. yeah I wouldn't say that that's clearly. not the reason that the bank of course. it's not the reason it fell but like but. you know it was I would definitely say. it was more Progressive than your. average bank is but um you know not.

overly so no I didn't feel like it was. okay. okay. um and and right now it's in the custody. of the feds they're running the bank and. they they went to look for a buyer and. they couldn't find one. yeah I you know there are a bunch of. names floated out like um the Saudi. Arabian Sovereign funder they love. diversity and inclusion the Saudi. Arabian Sovereign fund that's what I've. heard yeah that's really I'm sure they.

got really excited when they go hey we. have a awoke failing Bank of non-binary. people you want to come and get involved. with this and the Saudis were like of. course why wouldn't we. by the way the Saudis might be what's. needed at Silicon Valley Bank they might. whip it into shape they might come in. Muhammad MBS so wait a minute why is. nobody buying this Bank in your. estimation why do you think it's so. unattractive. two people is it is it like the balance. sheet is is it just a mess in there if.

I'm buying this thing is it like buying. a house that's been foreclosed on and. not taken care of. it seems like this new CEO that the FED. appointed is trying to unwind all that. mess at the moment so I think they're. just trying to put the company in a. position where it would be a more. attractive. entity to buy um you know and I also. think they're looking for the right. buyer as well with you know Silicon. Valley Bank has a 50 market share with. banking with Dunkey capitalists and they. don't want that to be. something that some foreign conglomerate.

you know can control or you know get. their hands I think they want to make. sure that whoever buys this company in. the future has you know and you know of. their best interests at heart too I. guess because we don't want to give. control over. I guess a lot of potential new American. companies to a sovereign wealth fund. yeah it's I mean it's really the only. thing Americans got going as far as the. Innovation part so yeah we don't really. want to Outsource that so the highest.

later I guess right right well I mean it. it certainly seems like the Golden Era. of tech is over that's in every article. that you read now people are saying uh. that's done and that you know you're. you're this is kind of maybe The New. Normal of you know is that something. that you are getting used to as a person. I don't know if you work more in the the. banking sector or if you're. you know in in you know. fintech or whatever you're in but like. what are you preparing for a life.

you know kind of very much like the when. the manufacturing jobs went overseas and. many of those people had to live. horrible lives in the middle of the. country and became addicted to opioids. do you are you preparing are you and. your friends preparing for that. oh you know it definitely seems like you. know things can't be you know it can't. be the Golden Age forever so it. definitely had to unlock an event really. I think it's happening a little bit. faster than most people expected it to.

um and you know these are all you know. like silvergate and svb these are all. companies that were doing business with. fbx and in the cryptocurrency as well do. you do you think crypto hastened this. collapse the financial system getting in. bed with crypto that hasteness. um it it didn't help all right for sure. it definitely didn't why did financial. institutions get so involved with such a. speculative asset now obviously we could. ask this question with subprime.

mortgages but in crypto when you like if. you explain cryptocurrency right to. um a you know McDonald's employee that. got to the country a month ago on a raft. they would maybe tell you they didn't. feel safe investing in it why did the. CEOs of these Banks who went to Ivy. League institutions uh get in bed with. this stuff. oh but you know it's it's tough to tell. if they were you know they fell for the. same bit that everybody else fell for or.

if they knew and just felt like they. could make some money in the short term. off of it um so it was probably money it. was greed it was the idea that it was. anything I think it always comes out in. agreed with especially when you get up. to those like people that work in like. the higher equivalent of the industry um. they definitely see. you know an opportunity to make you know. maybe they don't. you know you you figure they are smart. people so they might not have fallen for. the whole like FTX like Rifts but they. definitely saw an opportunity to you. know increase their personal wealth I. mean no that's a little yeah I'm not an.

expert on cryptocurrency by any means. what do you can you talk about what you. did at the bank. he's on the secure I was a security I. just did I.T what can you talk a little. bit about what you did. yeah I work in like the the payments. Department doing like operations as an. analyst Okay so. it's more on uh you know where all the. people that do what people were talking. about you know on Thursday and Friday. when people were trying to take all. their money out of them you have a. horrible connection is there any where.

you can go to get a little bit of a. better connection on your phone is is. Silicon Valley Bank shutting off the. phones. I don't know I got it yeah I mean can. you hear me better now yes okay. um sorry I forgot what you're talking. about. um the failure of your bank destroying. the economy. um no uh we were talking about what you. did for the bank you said you worked in. operations yeah so yeah right now it's a.

difficult time in operation just because. as we get back online we're trying to. sort out. what clients still need the money that. they sent requests for is last week um. you know who took their business. elsewhere uh what needs to be redone and. what you know it's. in operations it involves like foreign. currency as well so we need to like. re-establish connections with all the. foreign banks that we used to work with. that refuse to work with us last week so. um it's been a whole process trying to. like get that system back online and you.

know based on what I've been told it. should be better next week but um you. know like I said things change hour by. hour so I really don't know what to. expect what do you think the future is. of Silicon Valley Banks does it have any. shot. um you know from what I've been told by. our new CEO the plan at the moment is to. run SCB as a company like it normally. was until they you know find a potential. buyer so I think that's the direction. they would like ahead you know run it. get it back on its feet make it look. like you know something you would.

actually want to buy and then just you. know try it out so now has it explained. the bailout it has been bailed out. it. it has yeah I mean it it has been bailed. out at this point it's being run by the. government and all the people you know. all the deposits are fully 100 back. actually I saw an advertising for SUV. the other day saying it's the safest. place to deposit your money so yeah not. on my show this is what they're trying. to suck out right now yeah the safest. place to keep your money is athletic.

greens. it's not svb well listen we appreciate. taking the time to fill us in I think to. like. um this is obviously something that's. changing hour by hour as you said and. you know people are really thinking. about Monday as like a a real you know. like Black Monday situation but maybe. that's not true hopefully it's not true. um yeah I'd still like to have a job I. mean I. what do you live up in the Bay Area. oh no I live in uh like Paradise Valley.

in uh Phoenix. okay I knew what would you want for svb. from Phoenix. oh yeah oh yeah so we have uh yeah one. of the biggest offices is located in. Tempe actually I think the biggest I. think the office is located okay. well listen we wish you well we hope. that you you know figure out. you know a new career for yourself when. this comes down do you have any other. skills. um no I don't but you know they.

financial institutions love hiring white. men with like under you know that really. don't have any skills besides like. Microsoft you know proficiency so I. think I'll be fine did you go to a good. school. um yeah I yeah I think I can't really. it was a really small uh School uh like. a small business school so I think that. yeah I'd rather not say like Wharton. no no it wasn't that nice. right okay I'm not I'm no genius we we.

believe you. [Music]. um well thank you so much for calling in. and we we really appreciate it we'll. keep your identity. secret and um we hope everything works. out at svb but let me tell you what will. I believe happened to many of you people. you will move to the middle of the. country you'll become addicted to drugs. uh there will be generations of your. families that will be destroyed you will. be met with uh uh complete and other.

um contempt uh from the public but. really apathy apathy is the main thing. that you will deal with because people. will not care about your communities we. will dump. um uh chemical spills. there and we will not care. um you will end up 10 to 15 years from. now smoking cigarettes out of a. Narcotics Anonymous meeting before a. relapse at a small biker bar on the. outskirts of town this is what will. happen uh and deservedly so to everybody.

in Tech or that has aided or abetted. that in any way that I'm not saying this. is good or bad or I'm not calling for. this to happen I'm telling you what will. happen this is uh from history this will. happen you will eat at grocery stores. where the meat isn't good and there will. be mold on even the frozen chicken that. you will try to serve to your family. um it will be very difficult for you to. hold on this is a hellscape that you.

will inherit but until that time. um and even during that time you know. the Tim Dillon show does nothing but. wish you well. thank you.