Mike Recine & Lizzo Be Quitting | The Tim Dillon Show #388

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim. Dylan show Mike Rine is with us he uh. has a really hilarious new special on. the out for smokes YouTube channel his. podcast out for smokes too go and. subscribe to that listen to it it's very. funny he does it with uh two really. funny guys Scott chaplain and Sean I. always forget his last name McCarthy. McCarthy I like him a lot is he back on. Twitter uh yeah remember when they got. rid of him yeah but he's back he's back. he's a great follow yeah he's a lot of. fun yeah Richie Torres was tweeting. about him the United States Congress.

person and oh interesting yeah like. who's that again he's I think he. represents the Bronx okay yeah he and he. represents Israel he goes very hard for. Israel he's one of these guys he well. Torres you would make sense Torres. because his family for many generations. the Torres family from Israel yeah and. uh so he was he was he getting into it. with sha McCarthy yeah Sean tweeted.

something about the hostages and and. then and when they did the the release. and then Richie Torres goes wow look at. this an account that hates me is. fantasizing about raping a. teenager about Sean there was nothing. can we say that I know it's the first 10. minutes it's fine I mean what you know. we've kind of given up on the idea of. yeah some of them get the green dollar. some of them get the other dollar yeah. yeah they hide some of them yeah yeah. some of them don't yeah float to the top. of the algorithm I was trying to look at. my YouTube ation the other night I.

couldn't find how much money I was being. paid clicking through the whole yeah. it's arbitrary in the sense that like. there's episodes that you'd figure. wouldn't get the money but they do and. then there's ones where you go I didn't. say anything and then those don't they. like it being arbitrary CU that's where. the fear is sure because if you knew. what you couldn't couldn't do yeah. there's no fun in that there's no fun. yeah for them they want you to just kind. of be afraid they probably like having. that power to take somebody's Channel. away yeah why a dictator just will do.

random. raids it's like I don't want you to know. why we knocked down your door and. dragged you out yeah you're like I've. never seen a guy get eaten by sharks. before you got to keep that look like. yeah you got to keep it fun yeah you got. to keep F they just drag people out. every now and then that's really what it. is YouTube just opening the door yeah. your family's all there and they drag. you out in front of everybody and. question you in the middle of the night. that's what it is and then you go I.

don't I don't and people act like they. wouldn't do that if they didn't have the. power that's correct the Chapo guys. would be doing everybody would do it all. of those people would do it absolutely. it's hard when you get that kind cu the. tech people have more power than. anyone's ever had cuz they know what. you're searching for they know your. thoughts your dreams your fears what. keeps you up at night they have all of. that info they use that against you they. can Market everything.

you know real you about the next day you. get an ad for it they know one day they. just go what if we barbecued Tim Dy. yeah no someone someone somewhere I'm. sure has brought up like why don't we. just shut him off just shut it off uh. and then someone else is like well yeah. my kids like him you know it's like my. 13-year-old daughter listens to him she. loves him you know she's a cutter and. really likes him and what she's watched.

him and Rogan and Alex Jones that Sandy. Hook doc really doesn't do Alex Jones. any favors. huh it is tough when you watch that. Sandy Hook doc you're like that was. clear ER and judgment wasn't he making. like a million dollars a day to say that. Sandy Hook was fake I know I mean who. wouldn't yeah it is impressive. monetarily yeah but it is uh how did he. even figure that out if I say Sandy Hook. was fake so here's how and people piss. on those kids graves I'll make a million. dollars a day showed on the documentary.

every time he said it yeah he made like. a bunch of. money like no like every time they have. like the analytics so it's like every. time he would say like yeah Sandy Hook. is fake yeah people would buy his iodine. supplement or something it buy like the. colloidal silver right right right so. the supplement it takes work to set all. that up I mean that's I mean that's. business baby yeah it's just all we have. is the patreon on our show all we have.

is talking [ __ ] and we get the patreon. and then every now and then YouTube. blesses us and we have some ads yeah but. we don't we we don't have that type of. tech yeah yeah yeah dude my headphones. broke so I so I needed to buy a new pair. of headphones but I said to my wife I. said I'm going to buy you a new I'll. take yours and I'll buy you a new pair. of headphones and I said you can pick. them up today at Best Buy it felt so. good to buy my wife yeah but a $100 pair. of headphones that's right what if I was. making a million dollars a day cuz I. said Sandy Hook was.

F listen hone she'd be so happy you know. she and she deserves it yeah my. sailboat's [ __ ] up how about this yeah. you get a new boat get a new boat I'll. take your boat take the old one yeah I. mean it's I was just watching it and it. is tough because obviously the family. went through a lot it's unimaginable. grief that they're going through if some. if my kid got killed and someone pissed. on his grave I would I would work it out. with Alex Jones over the phone I'd say. give me 200 Grand we'll call it.

even you know what I mean we'll we'll. adopt some we'll adopt somebody probably. there was probably one family member who. said listen why don't you give just give. me money directly yeah just give were. they doing that though were they pissing. on the graves people were yeah which. it's like okay if the shooting's fake. then then what not even it's not a grave. you no it's the oh it's not good yeah. but here's the thing he's always been. lovely to me sure yeah this is not yeah.

Anna and Dasha like him he's. been it's very tough because he's like a. very warm and caring man to me but I. understand that this was a not good. thing yeah I'm not like that guy who. thinks this was good well you got to. make a few enemies get there's going to. be a few people that aren't in love with. you you know I mean that wasn't. uh but he says like he's like well I was. drinking and I was kind of out of it. yeah and I was delusional and stuff but. they were very good at making that money.

though sure they somebody was running. the somebody was running the uh the. board yeah somebody knew what was going. on well you're not making money off. YouTube so how do you g to I mean you. got to pay your bills you got to feed. your family it's a great point you know. it's a great Point what do you do sell. t-shirts what's the best merch for you. for me yeah probably the hoodie yeah. good good margins on that the hoodie you. know yeah I I mean they're decent we.

don't do a ton of we do some good enough. yeah yeah but we're we're not like it's. not like we're not like Ian Finance is. does he do a lot of merch he's got like. 30 different t-shirts I think oh yeah no. we just had like a few they sold well. yeah but I I'm not a fashion designer. yeah yeah yeah and I've never been a fan. of like I don't know like doing a shirt. a week or something yeah right right. right where it's like you say something. and then you're like I did that I. thought I picked a cool little design. for our show and then people were like. you guys don't know your audience at all. this [ __ ] sucks right because we.

don't know how to design things yeah. yeah yeah I put out something the Fig. business was great everyone loved that. with the Enron logo but then we put out. stuff and people were like I thought. this would be a lot better I'm like why. why would you think that yeah what is. that Bas on my other line of clothing. what am I a seven-year-old in Vietnam on. fivr what do you guys want me to do do. you believe this lizo thing where she's. out for good no I don't think so I don't.

know much about it but she's quitting. because she says I've had enough of. people she goes I'm getting tired of. putting up with being dragged by. everyone in my life and on the internet. and then look at all these celebrities. that are like oh just stay strong girl. bra and is like stay so I can put you in. a reality show and you can kill yourself. yeah Andy Cohen puts people in reality. shows where they there's multiple people. whove just committed suici he would. treat her like Dumbo if he got the CH oh. my. God she'd open it he'd open the Bravo.

Clubhouse he'd open a big wood crate and. he's like and here comes. lizo but that's you're right he just. wants to have her on a show he just. wants she'll be the Real Housewives of. Atlanta they could replace three of them. with her yeah so the whole season would. just be two housewives and then lizo. yeah fighting both of them yeah just. grabbing both of them by their throats. yeah this doesn't make any sense it. would be more there would be more. written if she was actually that's just.

detention she goes I'm constantly up. against lies being told about me for. clout and Views being the butt of the. joke every single time because of how I. look yeah my character being picked. apart by people who don't know me and. disrespecting my name but that's just. any type of level of anything yeah. that's any level of Fame that's all of. that of course that's anything don't. read it I switch my Twitter. notifications where you have to follow. me to say to for me to see your your. reply and it's like so much better yeah. I barely go on anymore yeah yeah I. barely go on I was on for years and you.

just get bored sure you get bored I'll. go on sometimes and I'll go on for like. a couple of months and then I come off. yeah I'll tweet for a little while then. I come on it's just yeah as you get. older it feels less I don't know well. it's more fun now because it looks like. Anthony kumy is moderating it with the. stuff that you oh that that is hilarious. he's the new he's the new mod on X yeah. yeah well it's wild now right it's crazy. it's just everybody it's free-for-all. mhm yeah yeah I don't know it just feels.

I feel like you look at it you get a. real dark view of humanity and then you. go outside and you're like this isn't. that bad no so that's the problem with. all these social media sites yeah it's. the Bill Hicks joke about CNN where he. goes you look at it and you're like War. Death disease famine a and then you go. out and it's just you hear birds yeah so. it's kind of like yeah I don't know but. I feel you know listen lizo if we if I. contributed in any way to to her. quitting I apologize I don't know what. to do sorry I do want to see the Bravo.

show with the starring Liz she's quit. yeah she's quitting for good I don't. think so yeah you're not quitting for. good you're coming back she'll have a. podcast in two months she should get hot. and go alt-right I've said it many times. that's the next phase sure I mean hot's. a relative term but drop drop the lbs. start talking about the Border you're in. yeah those people are loyal huge yeah. she goes out at the RNC and she goes I.

used to be a fat [ __ ] and now the only. thing I think about every day is the. [Laughter]. Border I used to eat all day she like I. stopped letting in calories yeah because. it's addiction I know it well you get. addicted to anything addicted to Sugar. addicted to food you need she needs to. get addicted to America's border. security yeah. yeah that's all that can really happen. there do you think about that stuff at. all do you think about like the migrant.

crisis and the Border I have no idea. sometimes sometimes but if it's in front. of me yeah yeah yeah like if I read an. article about it yeah or if I'm talking. about it yeah I'll think about it but it. doesn't like keep me up at night I have. no idea who's a migrant and who's I. don't know I don't care it's not they're. not doing anything to me yeah I mean I. think they got to figure it out they got. to solve it yeah but that's my surmise. that they got to figure it out they gota. they got to do something to make the to. secure the Border and let people in but.

figure out who they are first there's. ways to do it it's just chaos down there. now it just looks bad it's like if you. had a store yeah and then everything. looked crazy yeah it should look B like. down there it's there's like Tik toks. telling people like here's the hole you. got to go through and then all these. people are like run going through a hole. right and you go this seems to show the. Tik Tock border hole and you you go well. this there's got to be a better way than. this yeah like I'm not an expert but. there's got to be a better way than.

like you know there's got to be a better. way than just you know figuring out. everything after the fact yeah and I. guess the people that live in these. bordered cities like the cities that. live right on the border it sucks it. sucks it's tough yeah yeah because. they're in like the line of fire yeah. yeah so I mean iess they gotta just. figure out how to do it but I don't know. see this is the famous. is this the famous hole Yeah is a global.

destination littered with travel. documents from around the. world with the help of a translator we. learned a little about the Chinese. migrants coming through they're coming. through from. Mexico we talked to one guy who was. Chinese we also met a banker and small. business owners yeah they look by the. way are these are these people migrants. they look great yeah like this is kind.

of hilarious like they do look really if. those are migrants they look better than. most people I know here's specifically. the Tik Tok. [Applause]. hole we wondered how all of these. migrants knew about this particular one. of them had an into California the. answer was in their. hands. oh we go through the the hole on Tik. Tok created in China we were struck by.

just how orderly and routine it all. seemed yeah they're Chinese walked about. a half mile dirt road they're doing a. good job they're clearly doing a good. job you surprised why are you shocked. about this how much property do you have. it's not a bunch of Irish. drunks taking. selfies all right all right we got it we. got it yeah yeah well they got to figure. it out then they're makeing a little uh. the Chinese should there should be a. different way to do it so that people. don't aren't going through a hole but is. Tik Tok the only social media app that. they're learning that on they could.

probably they could probably learn it on. reals yeah everything on Tik Tok then. goes somewhere else to the real or yeah. YouTube short just makes me roll my eyes. a little bit where they go they're. learning how to come into the country on. Tik Tok they're already trying to ban. Tik Tok everyone learns everything on. Tik Tok yeah fun fact there was no drug. use in America before Tik Tok yeah yeah. yeah that's where everybody learns how. to die yeah we talked to this Indian. wigger comedian who makes his money from. TK to.

most of his revenue is he does it in. very orderly fashion most of his revenue. is from people watching him say how did. you guys meet at at a comedy. show what do you think about the um. there's a new article in the Wall Street. Journal where people are actually and I. think this is good they're going back to. like get real jobs uhhuh it says gen Z. is becoming the tool belt generation. like they're actually doing real jobs.

yeah that's that's probably good because. in our when we grew up people were like. don't be a scumbag electrician yeah. those guys make great money we were like. everybody was like go after your dreams. right they're like go after your dreams. and and then like go to college because. the only way people will know you're not. a dirt bag. yeah is it cuz it was that attitude when. we were growing up like yeah those guys. with tool belts they're all dirt bags. who didn't finish college. yeah CU they're scum yeah it was like an.

attitude like it was never said but it. was always kind of implied that. everybody that worked with their hands. was like an illiterate adult yeah and. then everybody who went to college was. like a a favored genius and now we know. that that's all [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah. yeah yeah so a lot of people are like. going back to be Carpenters or plumbers. yeah I think about my kid and like what. kind of life I want for him and where. what direction I want to push him in you. know and so so part of me's like yeah if.

he goes into the trades he'll he'll make. decent money but he'll probably be a. little racist yeah and then but if he. goes to college hopefully he goes for. something that's like lucrative and not. some like horeshit there's a lot of. stuff no one told. us literally everybody said to us like. they were like just go to college it. doesn't even matter what your major is. yeah no one even told us right yeah yeah. yeah yeah I went for I went for acting. yeah they were like as long as you go I. just went to Community College and. dropped out but they were like as as. long as you go as long as you get a.

degree as long as you get a degree then. you're safe it was the biggest lie I. know and it was just another way for. Boomers to go yeah yeah yeah go go get. out of here yeah yeah that's all Boomers. Ever Wanted their kids to do is get out. of their face just get out just get out. right just leave us alone we just want. to drink on a cruise just get out of. here just go away for four years how. about eight your dad go to grad school. yeah your dad bought a new pizza oven he. wants to play with your dad been making. us these great pizz why don't you think.

about grad school you get get out of. here for 12 years yeah get out of here. for 12 years yeah I'm I'm happy that. people seem to be like getting over this. lie that like you should um yeah there's. like a big lie that you should uh just. go to college and like for four years. just just kind of [ __ ] around just kind. of [ __ ] around like every other week. decide if you're trans or something and. then come come in and out of that right. or then just go or just get really drunk. and commit a bunch of like softcore rape.

yeah just figure out which hormone you. want to take you got to take some figure. out which online Guru you want to. Shepherd you through the. experience do you ever watch this woman. I really like this lady find them my. Instagram you ever watch this woman. who's kind of like a wicin chef no you. would kind of like this because we had a. food podcast called stud many years ago. yeah that by the way if anyone listened. to we would both be scrubbed from like. every. I guess people still tell me that they.

it's hilarious it's the best but it's. it's crazy it's just so funny I don't. know if you go to the people I follow if. you what is this [ __ ] the the Copper. Pot find it she's a like a she looks. like a. witch but she makes food on Instagram. and no I don't know the the the she's a. just figure it out she's a some type of. witch Chef I don't know the the she's. like a weird like when you watch her. she's like a medieval not medieval I.

don't know it's it's a a way to say it. she cook from like his she makes like. really unhealthy things but it's really. uh mhm it's she's really she like. cupcakes with Gummy Worms on. it no she's D what the [ __ ] is this. she's like uh she's like she makes like. uh she makes like skeleton cookies yeah. she makes like a g she'll make like a. grill. cheese she'll make like a grilled cheese.

or something it's. uh it's called the uh the copper spoon. go to the Copper. spoon theore copper spoon uh. 21 she's a digital. Creator I think you'll like her a lot is. she like a Trad wife no I don't know. what she's like a witch TRD wife kind of. okay there was a lady so go here go down. go down there here we go.

yeah I had sex with her in. 2013 hello traveler welcome to the. Copper spoon today is a very special day. because today is the very beginning of. Home Chef Throwdown it's going to be an. 8-week long competition between me and. 10 other chefs all in order to raise. money for an amazing organization called. lasagna love let's get into it week one. the kindness challenge y sauce we all. know love is kind yeah cuz that's the. whole thing they have to use it cuz like. Ru is sponsoring. go to one of her other things her other.

recipes where she makes uh here she's. like hello traveler hello traveler. welcome to the Copper spoon hello my. little spoonies let's make some portello. mushroom burgers this recipe is super. super simple I am not vegan and I don't. claim to be the best at imitating meat. but I will say that I think these. mushroom burgers are absolutely. delicious so in a bowl I just put some. mushroom soy. sauce all right yeah AI could never do. this yeah you.

know but she's like good it's she has. like the the the the cups the the bows. My Grandmother Had yeah she's like and. also I'm a witch she's also like I'm a. Wiccan I'm a witch but she's interesting. it's interesting the way like she. couldn't just what's brilliant about. this channel is no one if she's a. regular cook who cares yeah right but. because she's like hi you've stumbled. into uh the witch's room you know what I. mean but I like it I dig it I get it.

this is the job yeah yeah yeah this is. what they didn't realize when they were. telling us to go to college right like. no yeah you should you should kind of be. a Wiccan right you got to be like hey my. wife and I are furries let me show you. how to make an easy salmon Bowl we easy. week night salmon bowl and you would. think she'd make like healthy things she. doesn't she's like she's like welcome. traveler today we'll make a patty melt. I'm. like great that sounds great like go to.

go to that thing she's making it the. first go go up go up yeah that watch. this oh hello traveler look at this it's. great to see you today how are you. doing this I just got done making a. spicy meatball. sandwich I think you'll do just it's. just hilar it's like the music from Lord. of the Rings yeah yeah yeah she's like I. have made a ve parmesan we're making. some hobbit-sized mozzarella sticks.

you'll need a lot for the little Hobbits. in your life you'll need a lot of. sustenance on the journey to Mordor. Mommy I don't want to dress up like a. hobbit shut up this is I want to see my. friends mommy explained to you this is. how Mommy makes her money to buy our. toys if you want live you like our toys. mommy makes our money like this so you. have to dress up like a hobbit and and. you have to get the bread from the oven. and then walk it over to Mommy yeah yeah. it's um I mean what are your other. options these days not much they're.

saying van life sucks not as glamorous. as Instagram makes it seem apparently. sure there are people that have been. convinced that the van life is a. glamorous thing which I don't who they. were I knew a comic who it looks fun it. looks like it's a fun weekend yeah I. knew a comedian that lived in a van he. he hosted Jake Silverman no I don't well. maybe and Port is he a Portland guy he. hosted meet American Comedy Company a.

couple years ago he was a nice guy yeah. yeah and he lived in a van yeah and I. went to go see it yeah and it it was um. you know it's it was a van it's a van. yeah it's tough yeah it's tough yeah. it's just not great yeah but apparently. no showers No Sleep van lifee isn't as. cool as Instagram makes it seem at this. guy it's all from the Wall Street. Journal all these articles are from the.

Wall Street journ Wall Street Journal. has has been like taken over over the. last few months and like literally every. article they've run has been like. Americans don't want kitchens yeah. nobody wants a dining room yeah yeah. yeah nobody needs a Americans are. skipping breakfast yeah right exact all. of that stuff they're like it's they. skipping dinner you don't need a dining. room they're just trying to move you. into everyone lives in a storage. facility that's seems to what it's. getting like Americans would kind of. prefer to live in storage facilities.

project yeah the community that many. Americans find in homeless shelters is. better than neighborhoods you're like oh. okay they just ran one The Wall Street. Journal just did one where it's like uh. nobody wants to retire what was the one. I talked about on the last show was a. Wall Street Journal article they were. like it was like uh do you remember what. it was you ever said that Simpsons were. sidh show Bob gets a storeage you he's. like I have a question and the guy's. like you want to live in the Box he's. like cost you two bucks a day.

yeah but there was a guy that made a Tik. Tok about living in a storage unit he. was like I live in a storage unit it's. great I have a lot of space I get to do. my Sprints in the hallway I get to work. out yeah and I'm sure they kicked him. out cuz he put it on Tik Tok of course. which is like oh the sociopath right. they're like you they're like uh it was. a a female sociopath and they're like. and she wrote a book where she's just. basically like Hey we're out here we're. sociopaths and you know I'm now telling. you that yeah I don't know who that's. for like I questioned that on the show. I'm like I don't understand who's like.

what this does to like why this but it's. always like so van life to me never. seemed like it would be an amazing thing. for long times long periods of times. yeah well I would see some of these. videos maybe two or three years ago and. she you know the girl would be like yeah. my dad's putting in the floors and the. pluming and the you know but then it's. like okay but what do you do what's your. job it's always a fun desert landscape. where the van is parked they never never. Bushwick yeah they never show you like.

just like a it's parked in like a the. the like parking lot of a Checkers yeah. yeah you know and then the employee the. Checker has to knock on the door and go. hey we just don't we have to call like I. don't want to call the cops on you but I. have to like we were told that like we. have to call or we'll be fired if we. don't call the police on you but it's. never that it's always like oh I just. they're going to take away my van right. yeah right they're like if if you get. BST and I I I we a lot of us live here.

yeah but they're always like by these. beautiful desert Landscapes they're like. oh you just stumbled upon a beautiful. landscape in the desert Caleb Smith. Parks his home in Brooklyn New. York yeah this guy Jake Silman has a. joke he's like yeah I lived in a van and. I had sex with a few girls in the van. he's like and you don't really think. about you don't really think of women as. losers. yeah but you are if you have sex with me. in a van I wonder if he was a guy maybe. he was a guy I don't know he's like tall. kind of curly hair. yeah I think maybe it was I don't.

remember he was a good guy nice guy good. guy yeah you know this is this is not a. um this is not a great way to live I. guess this is what they're saying which. I never thought it was I never thought. it was what do they do for work they get. like odd jobs or they they do Fiverr or. something like what do they I think. maybe Postmates door Dash maybe things. like where they're on the go they can. use the car for work some of them I. guess comedy I don't know yeah yeah it's.

a tough thing to to travel around yeah. but it almost seems. like some of the people that I talked to. that did it were very into the idea of. being free and not having any roots and. not because I think you could get a. roommate and just be broke in New York. like a lot of people were yeah you know. a lot of people are yeah um but if you. like this you can do it well it seemed. like it people were doing it because it. was like the cost of living so expens so. maybe I'll live in a van right maybe.

it'll help but it wasn't really it also. like this article says this woman her. transmission died and they they needed. five grand yeah to fix it right Al the. Vans aren't as good as they were my. mother had a fored conol line van with. the bed in the back you could live in. that yeah that was like do they even. still make the for a conell line MH that. was a legit van you could live in yeah. we had the Dodge Caravan with the wood. paneling yeah those vans you like my. mother threatened all the time she's. like I'll just go sleep in the van when. her and my dad would get in a fight.

she'd be like I'll just go live in the. van he goes fine go live in the van he. goes it's nicer than this [ __ ] hole the. house we lived in he goes the van's. nicer than this dump I would just be. sitting there yeah eating a cheeseburger. quietly yeah dude they go to like a for. conol line van like. 1998 for conol line these were the Vans. yeah so hit image on that yeah these are. the Vans you know get the interior get. an interior because the Sprinter van is.

too much the vans that you can stand up. in that's a lot that's a lot it's a lot. but I mean so this is like the van that. uh yeah the conol line van they had a. bed in the back MH you could live in the. fora conine. van but I again it's probably. not not not a great idea. yeah this doesn't look good for. Americans This is this isn't great that. this is in the Wall Street Journal it.

just shows you where everything is now. where the Wall Street Journal is writing. an article they're like hey you know. that plan everyone had to live in the. van yeah that's not as fun yeah yeah. that's not as fun as maybe it's uh a. shed a shed now you're a parent yeah you. what do you think about hitting the kids. um I you know I don't I don't do it I. haven't done it yet you know I'm hoping. I never like Snap L Gomez is a friend of. ours anti violence towards the children. but Pro violence to other people all the.

time right which is interesting like the. lady that works at Wendy's right anyone. you know yeah I which I like about him I. like Nuance right right right but uh. there's a video here of uh I guess a. grandpa defends hitting a child in. Walmart who is mouthing off I saw that. and I don't know if this is a I don't. know how he must have got to lead in. last hour I'll P up oh can we find it on. the dark web. just just go to the just go to the.

[ __ ] dark web and find this guy. beating his. granddaughter we need to watch something. here I got to go to Belfast and. entertain these. animals oh I've seen this is it the guy. with a red tie boy I hope it is. grandaughter across the face I smack my. granddaughter across the God damn face. because she was swearing in public and. mouthing off to her grandmother he looks. like is a filter.

on I don't know I don't know I got to be. honest with you I kind of like him. mhm he what did he say she was. swearing smacked his granddaughter. across the face I smacked my. granddaughter across the Goddamn face. because she was swearing in public and. mouthing off to her grandmother well. listen no matter what you're doing that. is the correct reaction when someone. takes their little camera out and starts. filming you and just go directly and say. what you did you go I was buying child.

pornography to get get it off the. streets yeah that's right post it put it. on Tik Tok. [ __ ] because you can't you can't. be embarrassed or anything you have to. just proudly no matter what when they do. the pedophile sting yeah when they go oh. actually no I'm doing a sting on you. right cuz you're pretending to be a. 14-year-old boy you're the one doing the. crime right not me I'm the person who's. arresting you have the Tik Tok Channel. you're the pedophile you're the.

pedophile You Take by the way that's the. future of America it's just guys with. phones in Wars going you're actually the. pedophile yeah you're the pedophile yeah. yeah no matter what's going on if you. hit your wife you got to just very. confidently be like I hit my wife. because that's the way our relationship. Works don't get involved I bet you're. single yeah she just T me over a black. eye yeah I bet you're a single person. right we're a lesbian. couple yeah we're lesbians we like to. hit yeah yeah yeah lesbians do like to.

hit do they well. statistics I mean again I I don't make. the statistics I don't put the numbers. in the columns sure but the people that. do find that some of them yeah are yeah. did you know that even if you have a 41k. for retirement you can still have an IRA. Robin Hood has the only Ira that gives. you 3% boost on every dollar you. contribute when you subscribe to Robin. Hood gold but get this now through April.

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feel like this has been happening for. like three years I know but it's really. dire now when I was a kid when Boston. Market opened it was a big deal well it. was a huge deal because this was like a. way to get health food like macaroni. cheese cream spinach you know what I. mean stuffing get stuffing at 300 p.m. on a Wednesday it's health food Boston. Market was eat Burger King too much. anytime you wanted you could have a. Thanksgiving dinner this was the premise. of Boston Market is it any time day or. night that you wanted to you could sit.

down with your family for like $7 and. have a Thanksgiving dinner yeah and. Boston Market had some good grub my. friend Rob worked there and my parents. would take my my parents would take me. there after to dance class I I tell a. famous story about it where I would. sneak three sides see how you get two. sides I would tell them to put cinnamon. apples on the ham I would get ham I get. macaroni and cheese and then I would get. either uh whatever the cream spinach. that's why you're a millionaire and I.

put the cinnamon apples on the ham yeah. and I would say that to them and then. once um they wouldn't they didn't do it. they put it in the side I just started. screaming I was in like my dance costume. I was this little fat kid to dance and I. started screaming put it on the ham and. I was. crying like put it on the ham put it on. the ham and then the African guy started. to Chan put it on the H put it on and. then this woman this manager walked over. she like a white lady with glasses she's. like what's going on I'm like I want the. apples on the H I'm like it's not one of.

my sides it goes on the ham yeah and. she's like okay and they did it for me. but I remember it's just it was such a. great that's what America's all about. that's what it is yeah that's what it is. yeah cuz they got their hands in your. everybody's got their hands in your. pocket well who are we ripping off here. yeah yeah yeah yeah who even owns this. thing what [ __ ] vertical nightmare. yeah hedge fun private Equity company. owns Boston Market someone that's.

shutting it down engage Brands oh yeah. this guy it's owned by Rohan group uh. owned by jig Nash. J pandia he took it over I was reading. the article he took it over and he was. like I'm going to make it very good for. everybody and then just started shutting. it down yeah God bless him I love an. Indian scammer like there was this guy. uh s chatall who own this uh own these. hotels the chatall hotels and they. opened a restaurant uh called Romera.

this was years ago in the in like 2011. it was neurogastronomy yeah it was food. that was supposed to make your brain. chemicals reactive it was such a scam. and it tasted terribly and it lasted for. like a few months yeah it was a great. scam yeah well that's like those guys. that work at the call center they're. probably all like middle class which. guys in India yeah you know right the. On's in Bangalore yeah yeah they. probably have good lives probably good. lives yeah yeah we all feel bad mhm for. them well our call center here it.

terrible that documentary The. telemarketers those guys who were. raising money for the police do you ever. see that on. HBO good okay they they just called. people up and the people were donating. to the police the police play that uh. trailer from HBO they they these guys. who like were like telemarketing and. they were all on like heroin and they. were calling up people and being like. hey here this is great watch this the. company really they would just call old.

people they'd be like do you do you like. the police they be like well I do you. know some one of them was shot and they. go oh no and then they go give let's do. a donation it helps the families and it. was all [ __ ] then it was just yeah. you know Deb took Benjamin to an Easter. egg hunt this weekend and there it was. like mob and she was like yeah the rulle. said that you were only allowed to pick. like three eggs per kid and some kids. had like 12 eggs in their basket and I. said what did you learn Benjamin it it's. a dirty world it's a dirty game you know.

where was this hunt in Brooklyn Heights. interesting where all the poor people. are you're right millionaires yeah no. but it's nice I mean over here is nice. yeah yeah and what do they do with um. the eggs they just hide them and then. the kids I guess they hide them and the. kids find them and it was supposed to be. three eggs per kid he didn't get any. eggs my kid really yeah oh that's. unfortunate cuz these older kids are. stealing eggs probably not nice huh yeah. but I said you know what' you learn are.

there we got to get our hands a little. dirty well let me ask you a question do. you think there are people that are. participating in that Easter egg hunt. that are not Christian probably yeah I. mean it's Brooklyn well it shouldn't be. allowed yeah because it's right yeah. right yeah am I wrong I went with a. whistle but if you saw if you saw a kid. that looked Jewish in the hunt would it. be wrong to go. hey this kid looks Jewish and this is an. Easter. um I I guess I guess technically it.

wouldn't be wrong maybe morally but yeah. I don't know it just feels like it is a. Christian holiday even though the Easter. egg isn't part of the Bible it does feel. like but I like that I like the Jewish. people celebrate our holidays like I. like that they they enjoy themselves on. Christmas and stuff you know well they. go to the movies yeah some of that yeah. well I I like that they go to the. movies I don't know I don't know I don't. know no yeah it's good no no there's.

nothing wrong with I'm just saying if if. Christian children are losing eggs right. right right to atheists there should be. more prior Jews or whoever Muslims I. don't care who's ever in that hunt. Hindus yeah it should be a Christian H. it should have been more organized of it. should have been a Christian hunt right. right right yeah in in Brooklyn yeah. sorry I just have a I'm like can we. separate the white Christian children. from the other. ones who are you are you one of the. organized. no I bought this at Dick Sporting Goods.

yeah by the way it seems to me that. there are some Orthodox Jewish children. grabbing Easter eggs this is very. confusing we do not want this. yeah uh this is an interesting story. here um well first of all what is this. Baltimore Bridge what happened with that. um I guess a a boat hit it it's not good. it lost power the boat lost power so the. boat couldn't turn yeah okay well but. they there was nobody on it except a few. construction workers they did like a.

emergency shutdown did anybody die like. six I think six construction workers God. it's a bummer nobody was on the actual. Bridge no cars no and it was lucky. because there were cars going over it. yeah like right a few seconds before. yeah that [ __ ] sucks now they're. shutting down the. port the comedy. clip well no the I think that whole port. something's got to they're doing. something that's going to disrupt the.

flow of like all the stuff that gets. shipped in and out of there yeah yeah a. lot of crab yeah I don't know I don't. know what's going but some there's. there's there's bigger problems than. just the bridge going down yeah there's. other issues well it was probably an. inside job to rename it you know that's. probably exactly what it was de people. immediately were saying it was an inside. there's nothing now that will happen. where as it's happening people like like. as it's falling inside job there are Tik. toks of it as it's happening going.

inside job like let's wait for a little. they're going to rename it the Omar from. The Wire bridge I I remember after. 911 from the the mcnalty bridge after. 911 we waited like I think an. appropriate amount of time it was like a. year and then like loose change came out. that documentary and then everybody was. like oh something's weird but that was. after a while MH it wasn't like I don't. know. yeah I guess it's just like I don't know. everybody's bored and I don't know.

that's there's probably some currency in. that right to to make up conspiracy. theories that's what people got to do. for sure but maybe some because some of. them are right yeah the problem is some. of them are right that's a problem with. conspiracy theories and you don't know. which ones are which until too late yeah. Alex Jones perfect example it's like. it's like anything it's like if you said. oh there's an island of politicians. having sex with kids people go you're. crazy but then that's right MH and if.

you said oh there's a Labyrinth of. secret underground torture prisons where. the America's kidnapping people they. think are in uh Al-Qaeda and torturing. them you go that's crazy but then that. comes out as true you say Obama killed. Bernie Mack right and people go you're. crazy but then they find out it's true. yeah I'm a big Che Obama Chef truther uh. yeah I think there's no way that guy. just died I don't want to believe that. yeah I want to believe they got him mhm. cuz he's hot and he was having sex with. Obama and that's what I want to believe.

yeah it's a better story and it might be. true well we did an episode about this. on our show but a lot of people who have. like worked for powerful people have. died they just di because they overhear. something they shouldn't sure cuz like. they wake up one night they go to the uh. they go to the you know kitchen they're. like let me grab some of that turkey. I'll make it sandwich you know what I. mean and then you see Bill and Hillary. Clinton eating a baby right right in the. living room and then they kind of just. look at you and smile and wave and then.

you know you're like well my days are. numbered now I'm done the Clans had a. chef that uh Hillary Clinton like ate. his lamb chops at a restaurant she was. like I want you to come work at the. White House and then he went hiking one. day and drowned in like six inches of. water unfortunate yeah you just got to. say no by the way any political family. wants you to do anything you say no if. someone goes I want you to walk the dog. he go no no no no no no such an honor to. cook for you Mrs Clinton you know I have. a condition where I I get I get really.

horny when I'm around dog I get insanely. horny have sex with dogs sex with dogs. it's part of my therapy to not do this. there's something about there's. something about when you work for like. these political dynasties yeah well. Marvin Bush uh Bush's brother had a. nanny and she like went out to her car. one day and the car like ran her over. like and killed her yeah yeah it's. unfortunate it's unfortunate but they. get if eventually cuz he you know. sometimes it's just when he would answer.

the phone he would go hello 911 Brothers. we we did. 911 he could have knocked her up like. there's all these weird things like. people get killed for reasons we. wouldn't even think yeah yeah yeah you. know what I mean like like everyone. who's met the clintons is. dead people that shook their hand at a. book signing in. 1997 were found like you know they were. killed by like fireworks falling on them. yeah you know people die people that. know the bushes there's people that know.

the bushes that got you know I know that. got shellacked you gotta be careful the. Obama sha yeah did you did you watch. that Patrick B David podcast episode. with Anthony Weiner it's the best I love. when he just starts like naming people. on the Clinton kill list what does he. say you're dingling you're D you're. dingling you took your dingling out. little boys are learning how to suck. each other's dingl. WIS wait what does he name who does name. of the Clinton can you get that out he. starts naming people on the Clinton.

Killers that's so funny he just starts. yeah and Weiner's like where did you get. this info he's like I got it at from. part of the stor still inth storm. org it is true it's maybe the Clinton. killis is all made up I don't know yeah. but I don't think it is yeah there's got. to be enough people yeah I I don't yeah. I don't know it's it's weird well I. guess who knows but it's also like. everyone that kind of knows David Spade. is has died right right right so that's.

also like a thing yeah you. know it's like you could maybe do that. with a few different people right sure I. don't know if I you don't think I can. make a list of other people who are 7. something years old and say this person. died how come they haven't done that. with bush he's on the same same age I. have no freaking idea why they haven't. haven't done say but so are you saying. so you agree with what I'm saying done. that with Reagan so this is like the. best you making about these men and. women who you list so many people close.

to them died how was it so many people. close to everybody how are you. suggesting okay I'm asking the question. you're asking a bizarre question. exactly folks Anthony weer but this was. so funny because like he starts the. interview he goes so you are a very. weird. guy I was on the show and I liked him I. like Patrick with David a lot but one of. their questions was what if we all. caught a pedophile in. Starbucks like you see a pedophile like. one of the guys asked a question they're.

like you see a pedophile looking at. child porn in Starbucks I'm. like what are you doing so I had a joke. I go like I'm like I get him to. greenlighter show on NBC it's some fun. joke but then the other guy's like. answering it seriously like well I don't. want to hit him cuz then I go to jail so. I. tell so this pedophile you see leave. Starbucks I hell am I get in the car I. follow the pedophile you know it was an.

interesting uh can you get that I don't. know if it's hard to find that section. of the show but it was just a very funny. yeah what do you do you see a pedophile. start it's the craziest I'm like wait. what so I'm like on the line of. Starbucks and then there's a. pedophile uh in front of me that. is yeah maybe is this it your he has. it this is good I like I like the.

Democratic Convent like you're acting. like a um I'm not assuming that he's gay. but do you think America's ready for a. gay president like this we probably. patching. pedophiles that's the most American mid. go to the middle of. it one in five Americans report okay. yeah on the internet 60s is looking at. girl pictures 6 years old 8 years old 10. years old what are you doing him. watching that and then I confront his. ass I'm I'm stepping to his what you do.

is mind your own bus do we go back to I. ask him to green light a show for me on. [Laughter]. NBC all right there you go but it's just. like that was one of the it's just an. interesting question it's one of those. questions you don't imagine you'll get. yeah but we all have to answer. it in our minds it should be a question. they ask you on a job interview they go. okay you sound great like everything. seems like you'd be a good fit here but. let me ask you another question you're. at Starbucks is a guy watching videos of.

children having sex in front of you what. do you do yeah. like I Ste to his. ass I go to the car I get my. nunchucks I say to him I challenge him. for the. honor I fight a yeah well if he bites. you you'll become a pedophile I don't. want to become a pedophile because I get.

bitten Detroit teacher the month fired. over rap side hustle records music video. with. students the rap name is a dripping. honey why would they fire anyone into. who's working in a Detroit school they. should just be kept no one by the way if. you're willing to work in a Detroit. public school you should not be fired. even if you're dating one of your. students right if you're willing to do. that you should just be CT yeah teacher. of the month can we watch some of the.

rap I want to see if it's not good. then maybe that's why it's probably. good this is great is. [Music]. good. [Music]. stud mad e these [ __ ] stay on me I'm. in the a headed back to the DTE I'm Big. D. me on. [Music].

another. [Music]. call so what yeah the kids were the ones. that edited it yeah what's the problem. get I don't know why she was what did do. they have any why was she fired a parent.

complained that she was rapping that she. was Moonlighting her social media was. inappropriate what else are these kids. going to do after school this seems. relatively wholesome yeah you know it. does I mean it's like yeah I I covered. and I've covered this case this case at. Arizona where there's a bunch of rich. white kids randomly attacking people in. the streets and they killed one of them. um you know attacking other kids they. all look like that right I mean not that. top right he was just the guy who was. killed but like you know so they're not.

so you know what I mean is it like are. we do we you know what I mean it's like. we're firing into why don't we fire. those teachers why don't we fire the. white teachers that let these kids. playing football games after they killed. another. kid clip that just so when I'm called. racist next. week put that in the column of things. you can just send to people very quickly. when I'm called racist next week cuz I. imitate Leslie Jones MH. or something that was such a good take. you're right who do these people think.

they are they're like smoothie salesmen. but it is true it's like you can't cover. up a murder if you own an orange theory. gym that's not the way America works it. work you can cover it up you got to be. like literally this is how little our. parents cared about like my friend. Mike's mother who who I loved she used. to sit there like a house dress smoking. a cigarette and she's like you know boys. when you leave this house if you get in. any trouble a fight a d. or somebody gets you with drugs she goes. you can make any phone call you want but.

don't call this house because me and. your father will be doing nothing for. you you will rot in jail and she just. smoke a cigarette she go we take the. phone off at 11:00 p.m. she goes so if. you get in any trouble you will rot in. jail she would say that every time we. went out she'd go you'll rot in jail go. all right but these kids uh parents. tried to cover it up mhm your kid comes. in commits a murder you don't you don't. cover it up yeah you say you got to you. can't commit murders yeah but this is. they tried to blame it on a kid with.

another similar sounding. name CU one kid's name's I swear to God. one kid's name's Talon uhuh and the. other kid's name's Talon but one spells. it t a l an and the other one spells it. t l YN yeah so they're like we're g to. blame it on the kid that has the YN I. hate poor people you know I agreed yeah. middle class are disgusting but the the. kid with a Y in is poor but he might. have done it too we don't really know no. one knows I don't know I like to think.

sometimes that um I should be a parent. but I don't know I've been thinking. about that okay is there a thing where. you can occasionally be a like is there. a program where you can kind of be a. parent uh it seems very it's very. because I was talking with Annie. Letterman her friend of ours yeah yeah. staying with me yeah we're talking about. it I'm like she should have a kid yeah. you know but she's like but it's such a. thing I go yeah I know. yeah she'd be F like the mom you see. like once a month yeah once every yeah.

yeah she's not should be a fun mom yeah. she would yeah you know she' just be. kind of a mom she dropped the kid off. she'd be like a a fake leopard fur coat. yeah you know she in like a big old. Cadillac yeah an old one you can hang. out with my kid but it's kind of it's. kind of tedious the thing is it's hard. because I have a godson who's Chinese. and he's fun but then you go oh you have. you know you really do have to care for. them for a long time forever and ever we.

went to the park yesterday it was very. nice but we like stopped in front of the. water and he just wanted to throw rocks. in the water I was like okay this is fun. I'm giving him rocks I'm throwing rocks. but I was like I feel myself getting. Dumber having this experience right it's. not very intellectually stimulating well. I mean he's still young it's not like. coming here talking about pedophiles I. mean this is really doing adult stuff. yeah this is adult stuff yeah I stepped. to his. [Laughter]. ass I sweep the legs sweep the legs I. stepped in that man's ass so many times.

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code Tim for $20 off your first purchase. download the game time app today last. minute tickets lowest prices guaranteed. you see Berkeley Professor fired for. telling students to get out of. California if they want to find a. girlfriend okay I don't know why why why. is that such a. controversial I think Berkeley should be. a I used to think that Berkeley was like. you know I don't. know they seem a little sensitive mhm.

about stuff but this I don't know this. seems very sensitive you'll be shocked. by the Stark differences in behavior of. women in places where women are. plentiful versus their behavior within. artillery distance of San San Jose in. San Francisco Andrew Tate was hired by. Berkeley look at this. guy I like he's kind of a fish Andrew. Tay I like that Berkeley Andrew Tate why. fire him though I don't know I mean I.

understand he's expressing an unpopular. opinion yeah here's the thing about. teachers when I grew up no one listened. to them yeah right like no one like. people would say [ __ ] we didn't agree. with all the time that's the point they. would just say weird [ __ ] and we'd go. all right that doesn't seem yeah like. one of our teachers was like you just. choose to be gay that's the way it is. and everyone laughed at him yeah he was. like a weird guy we're like all right. he's just an older weird guy he's like.

you make a choice he goes you choose. everything in life he's like everything. everything you do is a choice to be gay. that's a choice everyone laughed like. because what you say to that teacher. when you were late for class that one. time I forgot she was like if you if. you're going to get a job like you're. not you can't walk in late to your job. and you were like well I'm going to have. a real job not like a teacher no I said. I'm going to have a real job I'm not. going to be like an English teacher so I. said I'd be more motivated to show up to. that and then I was sent to the uh Dean.

I was always sent to the principal yeah. because I would mouth off to these. nothings MH my father hated them too. that's that's why if I wasn't a comic I. would have been a failure CU my father. had no respect for th but should have. like should have but didn't care at all. when the teachers would go your son. talks in class and he watches TV he. watches arinal Hall and that come that. comes on like 11:00 p.m. my father would. go well he sneaks downstairs to watch we. don't I'm asleep yeah and then one. teacher goes he he he likes this woman. Amanda is that his sister and my father.

goes no she's a character on milrose. place they're like is that appropriate. for him to watch my father's like I. don't know yeah he said like he said in. the in the like parent teacher. conference my mother said they go is. milrose play appropriate for like a. third grader to watch my father goes I. don't. know it's on TV yeah what do you want me. to do yeah he's going to see it he's GNA. see it yeah what's scary for me is all. the YouTube shorts my kid loves watching. YouTube shorts oh really yeah he's going. to get you one day on the short yeah.

Daddy e daddy daddy he's gonna say 3,000. 3.3k yeah you're gonna be like Benjamin. your curfew was uh 1100 p.m. it's 12:45. and then he goes you were insufficiently. supportive of Israel and then you go you. just have nothing to say you're like all. right yeah yeah we all make choices yeah. you're right I guess so yeah I bet on. the wrong horse just just try to get by. one next. time people should watch your special.

right now it's a hilarious special it's. on YouTube at the out for smokes YouTube. channel thanks subscribe to where can. people find your dates you have a. website people go to your Instagram uh. yeah microsc comedy.com I'll be in. Chicago I don't know when this comes out. but this Wednesday April 3D I don't know. but uh come out this week we'll put this. one out this week and we'll put out Jack. we got Jessica Kiron I'm in Europe right. now nice supposedly I'm going to Europe. next month yeah you know that's how I. feel I'm kind. of yeah I want to go to Minneapolis for.

one night I want to go jerk off at a. hotel room and fly home the next day. yeah I just it's such a undertaking yeah. to go to Europe yeah you know yeah to be. like they just they're like great. another Fat. American walking through our streets. yeah you know who has like you know some. level of a a tin teeny bit of notoriety. yeah you're not going to improve your. corner of the in yeah yeah yeah it's. it's fun to do but it's just I don't. know I don't feel I'm not in a Europe.

mood mhm you need to be in a Europe mood. like that basic white girl kind of like. right cuz what's over there time yeah. what's over there that you can't do. here what do they have that we don't. have that we don't have food that's not. poison yeah yeah yeah that's better for. you it's nice walk around new. areas um but if this comes why are you. putting up the dates it's over already. just comes out oh let's put on mik. States okay Chicago New York Amsterdam.

Berlin wow you are going over yeah and. Charlotte go see Mike he's one of the. best find our old podcast dude yeah make. it big I'm happy I'm happy with the. special I'm getting good the best text I. got was from uh Dan St Germaine and he. was like he goes the special's great man. I would put you above even me as a as a. standup right now oh wow well. why don't we calm down and then he hears. phone privileges are over a guard comes.

and takes it from him phone privileges. are. done. um he's also his special's out too go. watch Dan s m special is really funny. Dan's great he's also one of the. funniest people we hope to get him on. it's just funny that everything's like a. direct competition with him it shouldn't. be no you shouldn't be there's a there's. enough to we're just going to thrive on. our own on our own timeline there's. enough to there's a lot of fun to be had. by all yeah you're going to get very. sick someday I'm going to absorb some of.

your I'll absorb some you'll absorb some. of my fans I think I'll die suddenly you. think I hope yeah that's the Hope isn't. it the hope for all of us I guess yeah. the hope you just one day you're just. not there like you're just driving and. it's like that I hope I kill a bunch of. people and I also die but it's like a. very kind of like it's like oh you know. it's like when you go how do you die. they go oh well you kind of Road. R he plowed down a bunch of people yeah.

but yeah then you get some of the fans. you know some of the people that came. over after the the road rage like a. bunch of people are dead but you're also. dead so it's course it's like whatever I. don't know people it's so weird now like. do you're checking the views on your on. your. video did you hear that the kid who went. to fight for Israel died it's like he. was like an American kid and he goes I'm. just gonna go fight for Israel and he. die it's like people just yeah and but. he believed in some so that's nice that. he believed in believe in something that.

much that he just said I'm just going to. give my life cuz I believe yeah we don't. believe in anything like that it would. be very hard outside of your family your. friends your own physical safety like. imagine like the countries at War and. like I like Christ Stefano and me are on. the phone like trying to justify going. to fight China in the Taiwan straight. yeah like I I just no one's up for that. yeah no one's up for that no no one's. doing that yeah yeah yeah it's a bummer. that anybody that anybody does yeah I.

just none of our friends would be like. we're doing it yeah I'll step to his ass. yeah that's when you need that guy MH. the guy who step to his guy China yeah. tell them China is a whole country of. pedophiles we got a big pedophile. they're trying to take over Taiwan so. they can produce trial porn yeah yeah. well I'll step to his. ass I'll be right there. out for smokes pod mik rine special go. support him thank you folks goodbye.