Leave It Online | The Tim Dillon Show #382

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim. Dylan show so excited to perform at. Royal Albert Hall in London this is a. iconic venue this is one of the uh this. is one of the big. ones very very excited there um tickets. are on sale right now promo code fake. Biz fa ke bi i z if you are in the. market for tickets um for that show.

it'll be great I'm really excited about. that there there's some tickets that are. that end up being reserved for. the aristocracy the Lords and Ladies and. people that when they build that venue. they said we're taking some tickets and. we are keeping them. for uh people that are uh higher. Highborn Highborn they have that in in. England they have class and that that's.

okay and that's okay nobody's offended. by it nobody screams and yells about it. well people. do but it doesn't matter they still. do what they're going to do so if you. are one of. those Lords or ladies and you have a. reserve ticket then uh you know have no. fear but for everyone else you should go. and buy it you should go and buy a. ticket to the show it'll be very. exciting.

other dates in Europe I'm doing at. venues that are not as impressive in. countries that have less money but are. still. important um our Manchester which is the. north of uh you know Northern UK. Northern England which we love we love. the people there uh Belfast I don't know. what venue I'm doing in Belfast I. imagine a grocery store or something I. don't even know if what's happening I. imagine uh this side of a bombing I'll.

be there um Belfast which is in Northern. Ireland but it's good. now uh Glasgow in Scotland a. very fun city city of the future they. say Glasgow uh very gray and I remember. when I I uh me and Sam Talent who I'll. be returning. with had dinner there at an Italian. restaurant it was the worst uh Italian.

restaurant we had ever been. to uh in our entire lives and everybody. told us this was the spot to go and it. was um I can it was Indescribable the. horror that uh that had befallen us that. evening uh and and everyone around us. was so happy and thrilled to be there. and they were enjoying it and it was. unfortunate to be the you know and we.

didn't want to let on how bad it was we. didn't want to convin you know what I. mean like why ruin the time of everyone. else who was just but I mean God was it. terrible I won't say the name Shugo I. think look it up in the glasgo see if. it's still there. Shugo in glasgo is it still. there oh yeah yeah there it is get a. Google image on that sh go and I don't. want to hurt anyone's. business I'm telling you right now this.

place was. terrible who's that guy they like over. there Gordon. Ramsay he would have went in this place. and he would have went in there with a. Hamas but we're excited to be back in. Belfast in Glasgow uh first time we're. going to be in Copenhagen in in uh.

Stockholm in. Helsinki Dublin were coming back to. Dublin that's the European. run that's the European uh. run and we're excited about that. everybody very. upset about the death. [Music]. of Alexi navali who is. um a popular uh reality TV star in. Russia.

winner of The Amazing Race in Russia. died. sadly very. upset people do not like that uh he um. he was a cast member on Big Brother the. Russian Big Brother Alexi Nali the. Russian big brother died uh in a what. they do in this season of Big Brother is. they put them all in a prison the Arctic. Wolf prison in Siberia and then they see. who turns on each other you know what. big brother is and it was Alex naly and.

Caitlyn Jenner had gone over to do it. this year and. um sadly Alexi naly died um we're. obviously joking he was a an opposition. leader in Russia we don't know what that. means there was there doesn't seem to be. a ton of opposition in Russia to Putin. I'm sure there is some I'm sure there is. some um but Alexi naali was. um poisoned they're saying and his widow. Julia is that her name yeah it's Julia.

Julia his widow Julia is saying I'm. going to continue his uh. work and our country. is uh beside. ourself with this this is. um cannot go unpunished this this uh. type of treatment of a polit you know. what I mean of a political prisoner. cannot go on punch this is something.

that the United States would never. do you know we would never engage in. this we would never punish somebody for. leaking uncomfortable things about the. government this is just something we. don't do people say to me all the time. they're like they're like you know this. moral equivalence like you know it's. conf feel like Barry Weiss the other day. who I know listens to this uh on her uh. Outlet the Free Press that blog she runs. um she came over my house once and she's.

like oh my God I can't believe you can. afford this it's like Barry I don't have. a Blog you know what I mean like I love. her but what are we. like. um so Barry Weiss they're all over there. being like it's getting confusing and. Sam Harris all these guys are they're. all like there's some moral confusion. out there people don't know the good. guys and the bad guys are and we got to. we got to make sure everybody knows who. the good guys in in the B so I'm not.

confused at all at all I know that we. the United States government would never. ever ever. ever. prosecute or. persecute anyone who leaked. uncomfortable information about things. that we've done because that's. what naani was doing you know he was uh. talking about corruption in Russia. and you know he's flying drones over the.

houses of people like Dimitri Med Med. medv Med medv men I don't know how to. but he was showing all the oligarchs and. all their mansions and Putin's Palace. and Dimitri medv Med. medvedev's Palace and he was going out. and saying look look at all these people. that are charged with running the state.

and yet they are corrupt and they have. enriched themselves with your money and. they've built all of these palaces and. that's what he did and he would fly. drones. and you know people in America we we we. have that is called selling Sunset we do. that too it's a reality show we think. it's good we think it's great we think. it's good we we we are we enjoy that. every. week and he was doing that in.

Russian the American uh government is. very upset that he was punished for that. which is you know he's a ballsy guy and. it was very sad um and we would never we. would not do this at all to anyone we. would never do. this we have to say that Barry's right. Sam Harris is right they're all right. they are right we would. never. ever hold make sure a a there would. never be a guy.

stuck in an embassy for years and then. transferred to a a Maximum Security. Prison they would never it would never. happen in this not in this not in my. country oh can never never would happen. there would never be a guy stuck in an. embassy where the police were sitting. right outside if he even opened the door. to get a breath of fresh air and somehow. stumbled out um there would never be a. guy who's denied um safe passage to an.

airport there would never ever ever ever. ever be a guy who is transferred to a. high Maximum Security Prison where the. six guests to his wedding were denied. entry into the prison there would never. be that never I I don't think so I don't. think so so I am horrified at the. treatment of Alexi Nali I am. horrified at a government that would. punish somebody. for uh leaking information about that.

government and. I'm very happy to live in a country. where that has never to my knowledge. happened not once it's never even. happened one time thank God because. that'd be awkward if that happened. that'd be real. weird that would be odd if that. happened but it is not thank God thank. God it has not happened because.

it would be real weird to do that and. then. also be be you know like a a gas at. this murder of Alexi naly which I'm I. it's probably a murder I don't know but. I imagine it's a. murder you know I don't know what. happened to that Wiki feet guy remember. the guy who did wik. feet I forget remember the guy who. published the foot pictures of of John.

podesta and Hillary Clinton remember. that something happened to him the guy. he was a journalist and he got. information from this um this um uh uh. military I forget what. rank uh uh Chelsea Manning I forget what. rank Chelsea Manning was in the military. probably not high high. enough um was a private.

well Chelsea Manning gave the guy who. ran wik. feet. um information leaked information about. things that the American government was. doing in Iraq the. military this included like targeting. civilians from a helicopter we like. shooting civilians we weren't supposed. to be doing that in Iraq and Afghanistan. we weren't supposed to be shooting. civilians from a helicopter. but you know that's sometimes the price.

freedom is shooting civilians from. helicopters so Chelsea Manning gave uh. this guy uh who led uh the wiki feat uh. web page some of this information some. of the information that this. Wiki uh wik leaks we'll say the real. name um some of this information that. this guy leaked was not only American. abuses it was Guantanamo Bay how many. people had been abused tortured and. killed the Guantanamo Bay it was that.

Hillary Clinton had made $675,000 for a. speech uh that Goldman saxs gave her. where she said she wanted uh open. borders and she wanted free trade and. all of the things that she was saying in. her campaign she didn't want um they. also leaked Vault 7 from the CIA which. said that the CIA was focused on remote. hacking of cars and smartphones Michael. Hastings among uh other things they also.

talked about this Pi Piper strategy the. Clinton campaign was doing where they. were using their contacts in the media. to elevate the more extremist Republican. candidates so it made Hillary seem more. moderate by comparison um this was all. stuff that came out and and Julian. Assange has been of course uh for the. last I believe 10 years probably. more he's been destroyed mentally and. physically in front of our eyes and.

nobody really talks about it nobody. cares nobody cares you will see more. posts about Lexi naly in the last 48. hours and you will see about Julian. Assange. and this guy they're Reviving The. Espionage Act to charge him. with and they they thought about. pursuing this during Obama's term they. didn't even though Obama was very tough.

uh uh towards whistleblowers during. Trump's. term they got the Democrats ravenous. because uh the Wikileaks um cables were. cited as one of the reasons that Hillary. Clinton lost the election so now the. Democrats are like get him so now you. have the Republicans and the Democrats. Reviving a 100 year old nobody's been. charged with the Espionage Act in over. 100 years. and he's been held in a high security.

prison in southeast London since 2019. before that he was at the Ecuadorian. Embassy so the guy has been in solitary. his health is. deteriorated uh members of his family. that have seen him his wife uh Chris. Hedges a. journalist who's friends with him. they've all basically said that you can. see him him being killed in front of uh.

everybody you can see him being killed. um but again what happened to navali is. is bad this is It's unforgivable to be. honest what happen to Alexi Nali is. unforgivable and someone must pay for. that for that one someone must pay uh. for what has happened to navali someone. must pay. because uh you know that's that the one. that's offends me I'm offended by that.

uh Julian Assange you know hey he got. what's coming to him he got what's. coming but this navali was a freedom. fighter Julian Assange was just leaking. things at government didn't want you to. know but naali was a freedom fighter he. was fighting for freedom for the freedom. of Russia which as an American is the. most important thing to me is the. freedom of Russia so anyone who's. fighting for the freedom of Russia to me. Auto atically in my mind is a hero and.

uh you know I mean anybody leaking what. the CIA does is a. problem so I'm just happy to live in a. country with there moral Clarity Barry. Sam Harris others thank God thank you. for the moral Clarity I completely. understand why Alexi Nali was a heroic. Freedom Fighter whose death is a. complete tragedy and why Julian Assange. was a Rabel Rouser whose continued.

public torture and imprisonment is par. for the course and does it really. warrant mentioning we appre I get it now. I would I didn't get it but now I get it. now I understand now I understand so. let's uh you know and I'm not saying. what happened to navali was good. clearly you. know I get it he was bucking the the. system he was fighting City Hall as they.

say. and you know the last thing you want is. a drone flying over your house and then. it's on. YouTube you know what these scumbags. that the Rob report just did to me I'm. selling my house and C can I have the. people at the Rob report sent to the. polar wolf prison because does do I get. any privacy or no do I get. privacy the price of my home is. $995 I'm it's not 5 million Rob report.

and I'll tell you right now folks get. invest in California now now is the time. it's on the up California is on the up. it's on the up the weather is great the. people are fun the business it's built. on is strong every indicator is that. you're going to not regret you will not. regret a sizable multi-million dollar. investment in Los Angeles right now let.

me be your guide come on. in come on. in what about. Julia navali why not let's get her in. the house does Julia Julia Julia navali. want to live in the house we put her in. the. house but if you do want to buy the. house buy the house it's Los Angeles. folks. nothing better I'm just not spending a.

lot of time there you know because of. everything all of the reasons but you'll. like it the good news is I'm selling it. because it's too good the political. leaders are too smart the weather is too. good I'm too happy so I I'm giving it to. you very fair price what I bought it for. plus what I put into it very fair one of. the greatest views in the world in La.

top 50 views in La without question and. it's right by a nice um nice big. mudslide that happened which is nice so. you can only get to the house one way. now because the the road is taken out. malland drive they took it out with the. mudslide but that's kind of fun a lot. and because here's the thing with the. mud slides they're pretty they are. pretty the rocks and the mud and the. Earth is pretty There's Something.

Beautiful about it cuz we don't slow. down enough in our day and I think to to. really be grateful and to be present. there's something about stopping your. car make that bigger there's something. about stopping your car just to be. present in this moment and to just take. a deep breath and to you know what I. mean because we're part of the earth. there's all kinds of people that have. talked about this but we are we're part. of the earth so when you take a moment.

to just to be the dirt to be the mud. it's beautiful don't take that way to. the house but um you know I listen I. love it I have so many friends there uh. and I wish them so much. um. Peace uh love and Enlightenment on their. Journey on their journey and I think. it's time to for because you know what. they say. uh is.

that uh you know a sucker is born every. day and you know that that's what we. need we need a sucker we need a sucker. here we need a real sucker we need a. sucker we need a sucker we need someone. to come in uh who goes I want to be part. of this City of Angels City of. Lights beautiful view it's a beautiful. view you look out at everything as it.

all as it all happens it's. beautiful Amer so that's my uh uh you. know if you want to buy the. house go buy it it's not going to sell. probably and I'll still have to keep it. for years and years and. years but maybe not maybe someone will. get in get get in while the getting's. good getting while the getting's good. the film industry might be over but [ __ ]. it you create a new film industry it's. on you now so you buy my house Endless.

Possibilities starting from zero you. build the city you build the. state that's right it's a fixer uper not. the house California the house is fine. the house is beautiful it's the state of. California that you will have to take a. hammer to to defend yourself um from the. people but no there we've the car has. only been robbed a few times it's good. it's fun they do it late at night it's. on the ring camera they don't bother you. they don't wake you up and say hey I'm.

taking the camera out of the luggage in. the back seat they do it very quietly. and they're here's what's good about the. people who rob the car outside of my. home they don't even seem like they want. to do it they're conflicted like you can. see them kind of conflicted about it as. they do it they don't seem like they're. professionals they seem like they're. amateurs which is more fun to watch on. the ring cam they're kind of like. trepidacious a little bit but if you.

don't mind mudslides atmospheric rain. amateur Thief stealing from your car the. total uh moral and cultural collapse of. a city it has an amazing. view because the view is all the little. Jack in the boxes where people stand. outside stabbing each other they all. light up in the valley and you can smoke. marijuana and look it I imagine if you. buy it you smoke marijuana you're a. degenerate or something and you get high. and you stare at all the lights that are. created by the gas stations and the Jack.

in the boxes and the eloo Loos you know. what all the things that make up the. Valley View of Los Angeles and the you. know porn Mansions where they used to. have orgies and now it's a bunch of you. know ticktockers jumping on a trampoline. or whatever the hell they're doing but. what a beautiful view it's a stunning. View and I'm telling you right now La is. a stock that is low this is a low stock. okay get in.

now get in now yeah look at that no. that's not the yeah that's the Valley. View you get a view that's kind of like. that and the lights twinkle at night you. don't even have to be High I mean if you. buy the house you probably are but you. don't even have to be high to really. enjoy the view if you get injured by a. person place or thing you deserve to get. paid truly if you are laying there and. you've just been injured I want the. first thing you to think about the first. thing you think about I want it to be.

money I want it to be getting even. getting what's yours getting what's. rightfully yours getting them before. they get you that's what life's. about if you're in an accident not. calling a lawyer means you could be. leaving money on the table again when. you are in an accident the first thing I. want you to think about is a table with. money on it you're leaving the. room instead of doubling back and going. wait a minute was there money on that. table oh yeah there is let me grab some.

with my broken. hand me grab that. money when you're seriously hurt your. injury could be worth. [Music]. millions did you hear me Permanent. limp if you're ever injured you could. check out Morgan and. Morgan they're America's largest injury. Law Firm they have 100 offices. Nationwide and more than a thousand. lawyers with over 20 billion recovered. for over 500 clients Morgan and Morgan.

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relationship. okay they are this is. Nationwide there's. flexibility I wanted flexibility with my. meal service sometimes I would want the. meals delivered to the house sometimes I. would see the person coming and I would. hit them with my car I would attack them. i' chase them down the street what I'm. saying is that flexibility is. key it's key it's.

key it's so key sometimes I would say. thank you for the meals other times i'. I'd have pitbulls and go get them no. prep No Mess meals Factor meals are 100%. ready to heat and eat we all love factor. I love it we all use it there's no. prepping cooking or cleanup needed head. to factor meals.com. timd do it do it now fractor meals.com. Tim D50 use code timd 50 to get 50% off. that's Tim D50 at Factor 50% off are you.

nuts do this now they're being. incredibly generous with you fatti. btis care about yourself do it right now. fatbat friendship recessions Americans. have stopped hanging out this is a big. problem um socializing rates have. plummeted more than. 50% for all age demographics people just. don't want to be around each other.

anymore they'd rather be. online uh and this teen depression is. skyrocketing that's what they're saying. teen. depression is. completely skyrocketing teens are. upset they are depressed. because they're all on the internet and. they're getting instant. feedback all the time about themselves. it's a tough age to get that kind of.

feedback is a it's difficult you're it's. Peak insecurity uh when you're a. teenager you're supposed to go away. You're supposed to have a small group of. friends and there you know information. is supposed to be filtered you're not. supposed to know everything that. everybody thinks about. you but a lot of people are are are. bullying team a lot of it's and some of. them are adults remember that mother who.

was bullying her daughter that was a. real thing a mother was bullying her. daughter with a fake name to like. toughen her up there was a mother who. was. yeah mother facing charges after. allegedly cyberbullying her own. daughter but this is what parents are. going to have to do if you want your. kids to be tough enough to. withstand the bullying you kind of have.

to. start you have to rough them. up you know I mean you have to. really bludging. them. online yeah this woman just went on. there and just shredded her daughter. every. day she used software to hide her. location and use several numbers and. area. codes yeah and she would just she would.

say oh it's your classmates they're the. ones that think you're a dumb [ __ ] and. she would just go and and [ __ ] her. daughter up every. day and now she's going to jail but. maybe maybe she was mother of the. year maybe she was mother of the year. because maybe she. understood that if her daughter is not. ready to handle the. onslaught of of comments about her.

daughter that her daughter was not going. to be able to. survive Kendra lari of Mount Pleasant. Michigan fa faces five charges including. stalking a minor and obstruction of. justice she was going on there every day. and just serving her daughter realness. total realness. and now she's going to. jail torturing her daughter pushing her.

daughter to the edge of suicide every. day the same way that we teach Navy. Seals how to drown you know we do that. right we teach them how to literally get. water in their lungs like they're. dying so. maybe teen depression is skyrocketing. because they cannot handle what is being. said about them on the Internet. maybe they are not able to handle it.

they don't have a thick. skin maybe the first thing you do when. you get your kid a phone when do people. get phones now Middle School what 11. sixth grade yeah 10 11 12 the first. thing you do when you get your your son. or daughter a phone is literally text. them from another number what's up. [ __ ] that's the first thing you do. that literally is the first thing you do. you're a fat piece of [ __ ] you're never.

going to get laid go at their. head so Derek Thompson writes an article. here for what the Atlantic it looks like. the Atlantic yeah why Americans suddenly. stop hanging out why did this happen. Derek tell us why it. happened in its earliest decades the. United States was celebrated for its. citizens extra verion Americans weren't. just setting out to build new churches. and new cities their associations were. as dville wrote of a thousand different. types religious moral serious feudal.

very general very limited immensely. large and very Min Americans seemed. Adept at forming social groups political. associations labor unions local. memberships da da d da something's. changed in the past few. decades American d dyam d. dynamism declined Americans moved less. from place to place they stopped showing. up at their churches and temples in the. 1990s the sociologist Robert putam.

recognized America's social metabolism. was slowing down in the book bowling. alone we've talked about it millions of. times well well this is what you know. here's the deal and people hate. Trump he brought back like okay kon's. not great but those are people hanging. out literally no they're hanging out. they're hanging out they're hanging out. people need a shared purpose they need.

something to do people you can't just. hang out with nothing to do if you're. not like using. drugs adults need something to do so it. I it doesn't have to be qanon but that. was like a very. engrossing thing for many people that. really got into it and were like solving. puzzles there were tons of qinon. meetups you can't have it both ways you.

can't say oh everyone's lonely and then. when everyone gets together you can't. put them in. jail either you it can't that's what you. can't do it you can't have it both if. people are getting together outside of. let's say the capital you can't just say. oh look at all these people they're a. violent. mob you know people hang out then they. become a violent mob well what is it are.

they alone or are they a violent mob. because if people want to hang. out they they need something to do qanan. gave them something to do it went to. people that were bored these. [ __ ] were bored they were. working at like a car wash and they said. do you know that the government has. tunnels under Central Park their [ __ ]. kids they're eating their they they're. drinking adrenochrome from their the. gland in their neck and that's what.

keeps the people in the government. living. forever and and everyone's like wait a. minute what they were like you know. checking out some guy guys buying an air. freshener and their friends letting them. know this go and they're [ __ ]. drinking their blood and you go hold on. hold on yeah okay thank you making. change and then they go we're going to. go talk about this this weekend I'm. going to a meet up you want to come and. then automatically you're kind of sold. you're like yeah they go yeah and all. these celebrities are in on it and a lot.

of them are body doubles they've been. they've been dead but they they're back. they're body doubles and JFK Jr's not. dead he's coming back and he's going to. kill these they're going to kill all of. these people they're the clintons and. the Obamas and the bushes every they're. all going to Guantanamo Bay they're. going to jail and they're there now. they're actually there now awaiting. trial. and then people were like well this this. sounds crazy and then you go yeah yeah.

yeah a couple of us are going getting. together this weekend there's a couple. of guys we watch on YouTube and they've. made some. shirts and they got a couple of trailers. couple of Caravans we're just going out. to a public. park you know a couple of us have. tickets Tim Dylan doing a show over. there and we're going to go see him and. um you know but. yeah but Tim Dylan has a diverse. audience that's what they would say they.

would say that they would go but it. won't only be People Like Us there'll be. a lot of people there they go really. yeah oh it'll be all kinds and and they. would say that they specify that and. then they would and they would say come. why don't we go hang out we'll go hang. out in the field and we got merch and. people have pins and it's all about this. Shadow War that's going on uh between. different factions of the American. intelligence Community now automatically. it all of this sounds great you're. freeing kids it's a shadow War it's like.

you don't have to do much it's like the. Hunger Games or Narnia or Lord of the. Rings it's any of the fantasy movies but. you don't have to do much you just got. to hang out with some cool cats and. they're going to tell you they go we're. going to go through the Rothchilds and. everything we're g we're going to go. deep through the whole thing we're going. to tell you about the entire thing and. they're like. okay. they were not lonely the people that got.

deep into Q andon deep into. it we're not lonely at all so the the. problem is the the in because whatever. is going to get people hanging out again. it's gonna start online it's gonna start. online no one's just gonna hang out I. mean that's weird if it doesn't start. online what would it even. be would you just live next to people. that you like like a okay but what are. the chances what are the chances you're.

living next to someone you like so no. matter what what gets you out of your. house going to start on the. internet hey we're all doing this. Saturday you want to. come all right sounds cool so Q andon. had its NS I get it but a lot of people. made a lot of lasting. friendships through the qanon. movement there were a lot of lasting.

friendships through that move they. didn't you. know and so what one might reasonably. ask aloneness is not loneliness not only. that one might point out the texture of. aloneness has changed Solitude is less. solitary than ever with all the calling. texting emailing work chatting dming. posting We are producing unprecedented. terabytes of interpersonal communication. but for Americans in the 2020 Solitude. anxiety and dissatisfaction by the way.

the same people who wrote this article. were all guaranteed for they were all. like let's lock everything down and you. can't go anywhere unless you take 19. vaccines and then they're like why is. everyone. lonely why did everyone become lonely. it's so weird that teenage depression's. gone up why is that I don't know was it. because they had to have a drive-thru. prom is that why teenage depression's.

gone up because they had to do a [ __ ]. birthday party where their friends would. drive by their house and honk is that. why teenage depression's gone up I don't. know you took two or three of the prime. years of their lives and destroyed. them you. know listen to this I love this 2023 NBC. holster said we have never before seen. this level of sustained pessimism in the.

30 plus year history of the. poll I do think every social crisis in. the US could be helped somewhat if. people spend a little more time with. other people and a little less time. gazing into digital content that's. designed to make them anxious and. despondent about the world Americans. have collectively submitted to a. national experiment to deprive ourselves. of camaraderie in the world of Flesh and. steel choosing instead to grow. the time we spend by ourselves gazing. into screens where in actors and.

influencers often engage in the very. acts of physical proximity that we deny. ourselves none of these influencers. actually do anything real by the way. most of them aren't they're. simulating but n none of it's actually. real they're just doing it for the thing. that you're watching so don't think that. don't think they're all having great. lives and you're just sitting at home. their lives are are equally as lonely. they're just monetizing they're fake. interactions for you but they're not.

like they're not like oh wow it's an. amazing there's people all the time I I. you know I always look at people and I. go this person is probably a lonely. person you know and we all fight that. and but we have to find things that we. can all do together that that are. are productive and and. helpful and that you.

know and those aren't like obvious. they're not obvious what to do with a. bunch of people that you don't. know you know all the things that people. do together right now are crazy it's. crazy it's like furry conventions and. Neo-Nazi rallies every time people. gather it's a night nightmare it's a. vice documentary every time there's more. than 30 people in one place outside of.

the Super Bowl every time there's more. than 30 individuals in one place it's a. national news story and it's never about. something good ever I'm sorry but it's. true they just tried to open a diaper. Spa in New Hampshire where people would. gather who are into diaper. fetishes so it's kind of like I don't. know I don't know if we should be out. there like that maybe people don't need.

to be out there like that I got to be. honest it might be okay this world that. we're all fighting might be good the one. of Netflix and press the button and the. burrito comes that might be good every. time people go out it's grown adults. with wizard hats on and they're trying. to [ __ ] animals I'm telling you it just. might not it might not be it I mean I. just read a story about a woman who she. was [ __ ] her dog and the husband's.

filming it I mean this is. socializing this is socializing I I. don't. know you know you you go out and if. there are groups gathered it's either. skin heads or or or 45-year-old virgins. at Disney World yeah I I don't know. what's going on but here's what I'm. telling. you this life that everybody is telling. you to fear the Pod life the lonely life.

the press the button and the thing comes. to you life the life of very few if any. actual friends the the the life of only. digital communities it I'm telling you. right now it may be preferable to the. diaper convention and the clan rally and. the Furry uh or the fat convention did. you see the fat convention they had it's. just a bunch of fat people being. fat and there was like fat designers and.

like people that designed different. types of neck pillows so that people. that can't you know their neck is like. they try to do something with their neck. on the plane it's like a bigger neck. pillow fat. [Music]. conon so this is. faton this is socializing people it's. it's not it's always going to be kind of. embarrassing this is hanging.

out this is the thing that everybody. wants to do is hang. out stay. in I say more internet not less more. more internet more internet not less. leave it online leave it. online I I I want people chanting I have. no friends and that's too much I have no. friends and that's too. much get them I'm telling you every time.

people in the real world leave their. homes it's a nightmare for everyone it's. a nightmare it becomes fodder for this. show people are like yeah that's no. one's hanging out anymore everybody's. lonely it's like okay and then there's. like a Harry Potter bar crawl for a. 40-year-old divorce a. they should not they should be in their. homes alone masturbating and dying why.

in God's name are they on the street she. 43y old woman who's been U divorced. twice her last husband tried to kill her. she's dressed up like Hermione and she's. going through the streets of Baltimore. in a bar craw hey shut it down go in. your house get in your house now yes or. yes get in now no no no no you don't. have you don't get friends you don't get.

friends none of the people out there in. desperate need of friends are going to. do anything good with the friends by the. way you have no idea what you'll they'll. do the embarrassing activities that are. being engaged in by people on a daily. basis it's. crazy we did a high school reunion at my. [ __ ] house and I had to pay three. grand to a a girl who I called. [Laughter]. fat this is what the this is the price.

of having. friends do you understand this is the. price and the burden of having friends I. had to pay. $3,000 to a girl I call Fat I said to. fix her teeth but instead she got her. eyebrows tattooed with the money be. that's what I had to do because I tried. to social it it doesn't work it doesn't. work. stay in you know what's nice door Dash. they don't even pay me anymore and let.

me tell you why it's nice they don't. even pay me these people but why it's. nice and someone clipped this and send. it to them the person who sends the door. Dash who who brings it and leaves it. outside of your door they take a photo. of it and they send you the photo of the. bag on the floor outside of your door. because I do no contact I don't want you. know what are we doing here just leave. it outside that is enough of a. friendship for most people. it's enough of a friendship for most. people the bag of empanadas lying on the.

floor of the apartment is fine just a. photo of. that by the way has any guy called you. when they don't have the thing you want. at door dish you can have a little back. and forth with the person he he go. hello I go yeah they go. it's. net I go all right well do they have the. Nivea sensitive skin. H hold on hold on that's enough that's.

enough that's it. now the discussion with the door Dash. guy about the shaving cream that's it. now I'm sorry yes I yes friendship. looked better in a John Hughes movie. that's not what this is anymore that's. not what it. is the last time friendship looked. really good it was rent and everyone had. a. that's what looked good everyone had. AIDS do remember that show rent where.

literally every song was like I have. AIDS and you have AIDS [ __ ] me with your. AIDs that was the song I can't give you. AIDS it doesn't matter cuz we all have. AIDS and we're friends cuz we have. AIDs that was the last time friendship. in this country seemed remotely. appealing and it was [ __ ] heroin out. with AIDs that it felt good it was like. I get it what is friendship now you go.

to a pro Israel rally and jump. around I don't get. it I don't know what AIDS is I or. [Music]. friendship I'm tired but I'm tired. looked at a house today this fat little. Penguin man was leading me around eight. wanted $8 million for real dump I said. what are you nuts this fat little. Penguin man walked around he's like I'm.

like What's the guy doing he goes he's. getting out of New York I go why is he. dodging taxes going to Florida he goes. no no no no he's not dodging anything. he's everywhere I go all right you. you're a you have a horrible Poker Face. you have a horrible Poker Face what is. this looks maxing people are getting. upset at this why why so what it's uh. the teens are like drastically altering. their appearance to sort of like good. appear as good as they can look good. so. what show me a looks Max.

person show me someone who's looks ma. looks this kid right here what is so. what is that is that not the way he. looks I guess he's done a lot of like. the jaw exercises and okay you know what. folks get off people's dick and let them. do what they want I want children. getting plastic surgery in this. country I want young children getting. plastic surgery in this country because. I want them to have every.

Advantage I I'm get off people's dick. let them do what they want I want. somebody to bring a four-year-old into a. party and have that four-year-old have. like you can already tell they've had. work done and go good good good start. them off right I see people all the time. with these [ __ ] up noses and I go get. it get get it. done. white maxing which involves using creams. to present as more.

white well that one I don't. like Edge maxing which is described as. withholding climaxing in order to boost. testosterone and approve imp appearent. starve maxing diets bone smashing I like. this which involves using hammers to. break bones in the face to look more. masculine. okay. inevitably human beings are going to get. so angry that they don't look like the.

things on the computer they're going to. take hammers to. themselves there's nothing we can do. about it truly so make plastic surgery. safe legal and and and and and it should. be for everyone there should be a doctor. who comes into schools and and and works. on the kids because otherwise they're. going to do it themselves if you do not. not make plastic surgery cheap and easy. for children they're going to do it.

themselves with with things they find. around the. house let. them see a doctor let them get a. consultation yeah so what's wrong with. that he looks better in the in the you. know he's doing well also for some. people it's like puberty too you know. like they just lose the baby fat in the. face. here here's the thing everybody's. judging everybody else and I don't like.

it I don't like it because to me. um I I mean here's here's the way I feel. about. this you have to use every Advantage you. have in in life and you should get every. advantage that if you C if you can. afford it get plastic. surgery you know. everyone's upset about everything but.

you know what I say I say get plastic. surgery for your. children get plastic surgery for your CH. isn't it interesting and I like Tiffany. hadish and I don't want to get I don't. want to get in trouble here I like. Tiffany adish can I say. that she they're putting her out as like. the top. Jew isn't this interesting so does. everyone remember the woman I had on my. show Noah. tishby if you go to tish's Instagram.

Tiffany Hades is traveling with her to. Israel they're they're putting Tiffany. Hades out as. like the top Jew which is interesting I. mean God Bess I'm hey I'm for. it yeah watch. this let's watch this here a little. volume I'm I'm just good for her last.

forever ever and. [Music]. ever hi I'm here behind the scenes with. uh Tiffany hadish hi hello do hello and. I was shocked that what did Tiffany ask. to have backstage pickles kosher pickles. ker pickles which is shocking first of. all I love pickles as well but also. let's just have a quick chat about the. pickles the whole thing about it's a. very Jewish food right yes and one of. the things is that Jews didn't have. money throughout history so we had to. preserve things and use whatever we.

could and we didn't have there's no. money for like fresh food so we start. when do you think they told Tiffany had. she was. Jewish. [Music]. like can someone tell me I'm Jewish can. someone are you under there where are. they are they over here. when who told TIY had she was Jewish and. when when did she get picked to be.

Jewish there's no way what is going. on Tiffany H kind of looks confused like. ah ask t h is like three Jewish. questions ask me a Jewish question I'm. I'm like Irish Catholic I know very. little about my own religion ask me just. a plain Jewish question how many days of. Hanukkah are. there.

eight I got that one what about another. one that's a little harder you probably. don't even know them to ask me what do. they spin during the holidays oh tradle. these are the easiest ones you're too. dumb to ask anything the point is like. if you asked her like what's Suk or. something like a real question like what. you know what I mean I'd go what I have. no idea let's play the rest of. this pickle and I'm happy for her that's. what this segment's about being happy. for her my mom used to say pickles are.

good for your skin they make your skin. beautiful I love that and she used to. have the pickles and put a a noun later. or a Jolly Rancher in the middle and. then I got hip to the packs of Kool-Aid. the little packs of Kool-Aid and you dip. the pickle in there you dip it in the. powder in the Kool-Aid powder and eat it. that's not Jewish that's not. Jewish you dip the pickle in the. Kool-Aid. powder this is not they did not give.

this is not the right script she is on. the wrong script get her out of there. get get him out of there that is. not not no TI be's like what she's like. you take the pickle and you dip it in. the Kool-Aid. powder no Tish was like wait wait wait. wa wait what that's what Hamas. does expressvpn everybody right now are. you navali do you know why navali died.

cuz he didn't use. expressvpn it's an app that sends 100%. of your traffic through their encrypted. server so your eclectic tastes. in AEM Cinema PornHub. music so here's the here's the reality. some of you people are watching porn you. don't want anyone to know but here's. most of my fans are the. opposition and much like aandra Nali you.

listing to the show are super important. and historic. okay and you need a VPN it's not just. because you're whacking it it's because. you're an important historic opposition. figure or you can use it to watch. whatever Netflix Canada has just get it. we're all using it everyone I know has. one all the cool kids all the cool cats. have Express. VPN it works on all your devices I can. use it on my phone TV computer whatever.

I can watch whatever I want everything. from Netflix only fans without the whole. world knowing. it I love expressvpn so much I even got. them to give you an incredible deal if. you use my special link expressvpn.com. Tim Dillan you'll get three extra months. completely free that's. expressvpn.com Tim Dillan this is a. great way to support the show to help. support the podcast get extra months of. expressvpn absolutely free have you. bought tickets to Royal Albert Hall yet.

because you should be if you don't. you're an. idiot I hope that uh I hope that what's. his name Harry comes Prince Harry I hope. he comes I hope well I hope we get some. Royals can we get. berric some of the or princess Eugene I. want someone can we get one of them. because they're going to like some of. the stuff I. got. yeah they're gonna like what I got how. about prince Andrew can he come get him.

in I guarantee you he's got one of those. seats there's definitely a seat for. prince. Andrew bring him in I'll tell him when. he comes in I'll go don't worry I'll say. cancel culture has no home here you come. on in you big p of doesn't sweat. apparently he does not so people are. actually liking the migrant uh people. moving in with them now I I I was.

looking at that article apparently. people are saying hey this is kind of. good that we had some of these migrants. come in because actually we need help in. our homes and then this. woman is happy about this so by the way. if that's the case if you can find a a a. nice family from it's like the show Mr. badier. remember Mr badier he was a British. Butler and he went and lived with a.

family get the trailer up or the opening. sequence to Mr badier the opening. sequence because I think this is this. article is basically telling us this is. what the migrant crisis is essentially. this is the migrant crisis right now. let's. watch. he's a migrant by the. [Music].

way streaks on the China never met it. before who cares he's a MIG drop kick. your jacket as you came through the one. GL he's going to. Pittsburgh get turned around no one. Spar All Hands Look Out Below there's a. change in the. status going to need all the help that.

we can. get according to our new arrival life is. more than M. survival we just might live good. life there he is so it can work it can. work we have a blueprint for it it's Mr. belvadere the migrant crisis uh. blueprint if you want to see how it can. work let's see if that's what we got. here now things are looking much. brighter as they've been welcomed into. Lisa Hillen Brand's Brooklyn.

apartment say. Lisa she says her daughter is very happy. when she wakes up in the morning she. says hi Lisa and everyone starts it's. great by the way because it's great that. we can make white women l ier which is. what apparently the migrant crisis is is. to make white women do less it's a.

delight and it's really fun a delight. what I realized is there's so I do so. little as is now I do nothing she goes I. do so little as is in my household I now. do absolutely nothing refugees mostly. because people don't know them Lisa says. she feels like she has her own personal. chef as wand loves cooking wand loves. that. cooking in fact her goal is to open up. her own restaurant that's going to. happen that's the way it worked in. America couple has their work permits.

and they've been taking English. classes they're open to work anywhere to. save money for their future in the. meantime they're enjoying their time. with Lisa their new friend for life and. their daughter's new. grandmother they are hardworking they. want to learn they want to be successful. and I feel great helping and I get to. understand the refugee crisis from the.

inside Lisa says she's so impressed by. the number of people she's met right. here at Brookline Town Hall meetings. who've been stepping up and hosting. families she's hopeful more will do the. same in the coming days and weeks in. Brookline Aaron Logan nbc1 Boston all. right the need for more migrant shelters. in Massachusetts is something we've been. following really closely well I'm I'm. happy for Lisa anything anything that. can get Lisa back onto that couch where. she belongs and we like that Lisa has.

some. um uh let's can we call them indentured. servants we don't want to use the other. word but we like that Lisa has some. indentured servants that can help her in. Brooklyn Massachusetts because God. forbid she has to sa uh anything herself. it's nice to watch these two people work. for you and then you can share your home. with them as long as they do at hold on. hold on I'm thinking about the.

historical precedent for this you let. people live on your property but they. have to do every single thing that you. want and they're kind of afraid of. you and they're from Haiti and you're a. white lady from. Boston. huh this sounds interesting it feels. like something I can't quite put. my you know I can't put my finger on. exactly what it feels like people come. from Haiti or another country they live.

in your house on your property and they. do everything that you say and they kind. of fear you because you could kick them. out or Worse report them or whatever. interesting I don't know what the term. for that is but I'm sure it'll come to. me timd comedy.com for all our tickets. to live shows um we will be everywhere. uh you know and then um we're we. released this late this week to to. Really uh have the European tour.

get the full marketing bath it. deserves frankly I'll be in Shamburg. Illinois uh this weekend uh it's pretty. much all sold out but there are some. tickets Dan Beach we're doing some clubs. having a little fun but we got some. theaters coming up in Florida obviously. our UK Run Tour is coming to an end the. next couple of. months um by my house in LA it's a good. it's a good deal it's a good deal La is. on the. up everybody knows it everybody feels it.

everyone sees. it LA's best days are ahead of it you. know if you doubt that just I'm telling. you it is what it is so go watch the. Oscars from 1997 get revved up before. you come see the house good night.