Knuckleheads & Dodo Birds | The Tim Dillon Show #366

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim. Dyan show we're sorry we are a little. late just getting back from uh Australia. as always uh the spirit of Princess. Diana is with us hello hi hi Princess. Diana how are you I'm good are you. seeing what's going on in our world. right now yes and I believe in a. Palestinian State because I was killed. by the Jews in a tunnel hey hey hey. Princess Diana is out of her mind.

I was killed by Jews in a tunnel. hey anyway two guests are here that. don't uh know what I'm going to say and. don't have the money to withstand the. attacks and hatred not at all that uh I. don't you know but they're good friends. of mine uh Mike Canon Mike FY great. comics from New York who have been. hanging out for the last few days um and. Los Angeles California while the world's.

falling apart yeah man just seeing what. you live like we've been having fun yeah. we've been having a good time went down. to the beach jumped in the ocean almost. got swept away by the currents it was. very but you know when you see like how. I live it's just like it's just New York. lives a certain way yeah and everybody's. used to it and when you come out here. everyone can live like this uh no I. don't think. everybody I don't think everybody parks. in a Red Zone and then just flicks. everybody off and it's like tow it I. don't care seura did this the other day.

don't you fear that the obsession with. rules is a Bourgeois middle class. mentality yes like this is the reality. I've known a lot of successful people. they have no respect for rules they have. no respect for rules right yeah Israel. no I'm kidding I'm kidding you stop it. you stop it now stop hello but they do. they were attacked we're getting to that. the point is I don't get caught up in it. because I say I'm parking my car where.

there is [ __ ] curb space that's it. the the middle class following rules. isn't that part of the reinforcement of. public schooling they're trying to keep. you in the Cog that you came in here's. what happens I I had my fat family to my. home over the over the summer and. they're lovely people but they were all. like can you park by the beach without a. permit you don't have a permit what's. going to happen they're going to tow it. they're going to give you a ticket and. it's just like that and they don't yeah.

it's the fear it's the fear that these. people walk around with all day and. nothing happens yeah here's what happens. most of the time nothing every now and. then yes could you get towed yes could. you get a ticket yes who gives a [ __ ]. the reality is you should learn how and. when you can break the rules and then at. the end of the day you you choose where. you can break the rules is that not does. that soundra crazy no it doesn't sound.

crazy it does sound like you can weather. a few the fin the financial storm but. you got but you can only get there if. you don't care if you're afraid all the. time you'll never make money you'll. never do anything it's tough not to care. I went through three years of watching. Comics not say anything and not earn a. dollar because you were waiting to get. jobs on a fake TV show that never. happened and they were like I can't have. an opinion about anything because I. won't get on this thing that isn't real.

it's not even real anymore they're not. even making these shows these people are. eating on the street they have their. [ __ ] on Craigslist and for three years. they were fearful and afraid of. everything so my whole point is that you. shouldn't be afraid to just. live I got my car to to Malibu we got. them as they were not today but the. other day we got them they dropped the. was I paid the drop fee I rode in the. tow truck it was fun the guy was cool a. fan saw me in the tow truck I waved to. the guys inim getting towed you know I.

he was like why are you getting towed. I'm like the you know the [ __ ]. government and [ __ ] yeah it's the. government why aren't you getting towed. you rule following [ __ ] yeah I mean. it's just I my parents were so terrified. of everything they were so scared and. that's why my father drove a Pontiac. Sundance because he was terrified of. like ever like you know yeah he's like. well you can't they were so afraid. they're like don't let it because they. were afraid of getting sued they thought. all my friends were going to kill.

themselves in the pool don't let anyone. in the pool here somebody's going to. slip on the deck and we'll get sued or. trampolines remember we had a trampoline. in your backyard you're like I can't. afford the insurance on that yes it. because were your parents paranoid about. people getting sued Well yeah if they if. someone broke their neck on a trampoline. our we grew up with just this idea that. like every friend we had was a. liability potential liability don't let. him get on the trampoline don't let him. get in the pool they have asthma they. would identify the kid with asthma. they'd be be like he has asthma watch.

him my parents wouldn't even get a pool. cuz they didn't want our house to be. welcoming interesting yeah they just. wanted every activity all social. Gatherings were outside the home the. idea that we might throw a party was. completely far they never left well. remember the show Rescue 911 that was on. there was a show called res 911 that and. N Nanny 911 it was all about people who. had accidents in their homes and and it. would be like a a kid who like hit his. head and his paral in the pool get the.

Rescue 911 yeah this guy and this would. terrify people William Shatner William. Shatner this was Shatner yeah it was. Shatner and then this would terrify. Boomers to into thinking that like their. house was just booby trapped yeah and. that literally someone was G to one of. your kids friends was going to die in it. and you were going to get sued pull up. like a Rescue 911 see if we can get like. an idea of what it was it was always. like it would be like there was a. drowning she took her eyes off the water.

for a. second and then there was a Dr yeah like. this is what it was there could have. been a Rescue 911 with oh my God what is. going on. here just the Middle East my my mom had. a cousin or at least this was her story. that was a black belt and he jump dove. into a 4- foot pool and paralyzed. himself everyone has it I never met a. single athletic cousin that she's ever. had yeah everyone has a story of a guy. who jumped in head first like people. used to jump off go to the the beginning. with the ambulance is just coming I love. the opening see yeah let's see the.

opening this is what just Boomers watch. just fear yeah this was they watch this. this program contains true stories of. rescues all of the 911 calls you will. hear are real whenever possible the. actual people involved have helped us. reconstruct the events as they happened. great. [Laughter]. diction right away somebody in my house.

everyone's. dying this is 911 do you have an. emergency what if your kids's friends. choked to death and you're on the hook. you're on the hook you're on the hook. you're footing the bill you were. drinking wine in the back room and your. daughter and her friend were raped how. about that it was a group raping and you. were drunk in your room all right all. right enough of that is this the'80s. feels like yeah it's what the it was the.

' 80s or not but that people were so. paranoid about uh you know and it was. never because they were like your friend. is a good person we would hate if they. drown yeah it was always like we didn't. want them to cost us money if that if. that if we went out in those waves a. little bit farther there would have been. a Rescue 911 of me calling 911 that Tim. Dylan just got swept out to see today. that would have been like they would. have rejoy this they would have rejoiced. Gavin new would have had like a glass of. wine sign an ninal ceasefire yeah that. would be amazing.

the hostages are relas everything would. be great the Twin Towers build back one. by. one everybody loves it um like we tried. to swim but I you know and we're strong. swimmers but it was rough yeah I feel. like that's a good death for you though. dying in Malibu at a beautiful beach it. feels like a I want to kill a lot of. people when I die I want to kill a lot. of people take them with you I want to. kill a lot people when I die whatever. that's too hard to something something.

big yeah something you know so what do. you guys what are you guys who are you. muzzies or Jew what are you at right now. go on the record Mike Mike Canon on. Twitter what are you Mikey Muslims or. Jews go on the record now who is it I. you know team. peace w. wow okay that's a member of the lgbtq. community here who I actually I don't. think any of the children of either side. need water that's what here's what I'm.

worried about that's a great Point. here's what I'm worried about um even if. this all ends tomorrow I feel like. people in that air in that region are. gonna hate each other for a long time. like it's just there's no hope of this. of a Reconciliation right right it. doesn't feel that way it doesn't feel. like it it's kind of it it goes you know. when is it going to be like Palestinians. and Israelis having like hot sex there's. got to be some.

that's for sure under like a taboo por. porn category for sure there's got to be. when are when are they going to walk. Gaza with like the Bloods and Crips with. the blue and the red handkerchief tied. together and just be like guys it's over. I mean hopefully the end of the week but. it doesn't seem like it that'd be nice. no I mean I I I worry about you know. people that are that are living there. are they going to be able to because. everyone wants to be fun and cool you. know and and it's just not like I feel.

for the kids that are growing up in Gaza. and I feel for the kids that are growing. up in Israel that are like not you know. like their lives now are just completely. shattered you. know yeah that's awful yeah no it's. truly a terrible awful thing I don't. know agree yeah hard hard agree it's. strongly. I got to speak out for the people you.

have to use your platform for the. because there's a lot of people over. there right now let's be honest not for. nothing there's a lot of people over. there right. now hurting and they're in and they're. in pain and it's not nice. no and what I would like to say is stop. it yeah right to who yeah what to whom I.

say stop it to all the blanket stop it. well I say it to everyone smart you know. me and my cousins used to throw each. other down the stairs sure during. Thanksgiving and you know what my Aunt. Carol would say she'd have a glass of. wine and she St and we'd go but he did. it they did it and she'd go everyone. stop it everyone stop it you're. disrespecting nanny's house stop it now. and that's kind of what the energy here. the energy here is is is just cut it out.

you're acting like a bunch of. Knuckleheads and dodo. birds but. who's that's what my grandfather was say. you're being a bunch of doo birds who's. the grandmother in this situation. Biden Iran I don't know. Syria I have no idea Joe Biden and his.

individually closing eyes yeah I mean. here's what we went to a great. restaurant last night AA shout out to AA. uh in Beverly Hills Kim Kardashian. having her party a couple of blocks away. at Funk uh which I wasn't invited to. which is fine it's okay uh Kim. cardashian there with Ivanka Trump and. other lovely people and luminaries. celebrating Haley Bieber and all of that. and uh we were as importantly having our. own event lobster pasta at Ava which is. a great Mediterranean resta in Beverly. Hills I have one in New York shout out.

to the manager in New York who always. takes care of me wasn't in Beverly Hills. the other night that's okay but let's. remember that when I go back in um but. we were there and everybody's Arabs or. Jews in Beverly Hills everyone's Persian. they're either Jewish or Arab and they. all look alike and everyone's kind of. being very quiet white BMW Galore yeah. it's very you know and so we're all. sitting there looking at them going. which one are you and right doesn't. isn't that what you were doing that's. what I was doing. I was looking around the restaurant.

going which one are you because you all. kind of have the nose uhoh you're all. well they do and they're all kind of tan. and they're all rich yeah and I'm like. what wealth and it's you just got to say. one thing to them to kind of find out. what's that thing you just sit down next. to either one of them and you. goof been a long time. coming now depends what they think I.

mean the Hamas attack or the. obliteration of Gaza the counter attack. but when you say been a long time coming. over. there then they get to take the lead the. first thing they say will lead you to. their opinion of course absolutely and. we'll know which one they are yeah. you're putting out some Middle East. breadcrumbs that's right yeah because we. are what religion are you Irish Catholic. yeah me too what about you same same. we're not in it boys yeah we're not in.

it outside our people are pro Palestine. the Irish they are the Irish Catholics. are is that true yeah CU they were but I. thought we were pro-israel because. they're protecting the place where Jesus. comes back no because we feel like a. similar like because of Northern Ireland. and and the British and the IRA we feel. very like a kinship with the. Palestinians I don't no per se okay I I. no I'm saying this I the only reason I.

don't feel a kinship with the. Palestinians is because I am more of an. American than I am Irish of course yeah. because I don't have that thing I'm not. saying the Palestinians are wrong I'm. saying that I don't the Irish have that. experience with Britain in the UK I. don't sure yeah I'm just glad you're. saying something because silence is. violence I'm saying it all yeah no I. said today I said Israel should do a. ceasefire but the Palestinian release. all the hostages they should release all.

of the hostages and then there should be. a ceasefire and then we should do I. talked about at a big [ __ ] concert T. Swift Ed shear and Drake massive massive. concert massive concert like a We are. the world we are the children thing. massive concert you're telling me Ed. Sheeran can't get up there with a guitar. and fix this is a little repeater thing. that he's got Salon the hill you're. telling me that that sewer rat the. problem can't get up there the problem. is guitar I think they're a little guny.

of music festivals right now Mike that's. I should we have them on the show that. was disgusting gunai was inappropri the. fact that you would say that that is. disgusting and. disrespectful uh no I agree with you. apparently it. is it is um it is odd that you would I. would suggest that a musical thing would. help they've had concerts in Vegas I'm. just saying we need need that energy of.

do we need that energy or not of this. this is the energy we kind of need. coming together that's what we. deescalation maybe do it a the world. maybe do it a little further from from. Gaza this time yeah Inland it's got to. be some metal detectors some security. yeah you know but. Drake you know Drake has been oddly. quiet about this whole thing considering. he's half involved right that's. interesting yeah he doesn't really speak. up he's got an album to push. well you know what it is it's um.

probably. difficult because he. probably sees both sides of it and he's. big in the Arab world oh yeah right yeah. he's massive yeah but he's also. Jewish he's big in the whole world in. every part of the world true but. specifically with regard to this. conflict right his standing in Iceland. is. immaterial you know what I mean it's. we're talking more about his. relationship to those people the.

Arabs so he's you know I. mean this you know they try get this up. they're trying to get Bill Gates is. trying they want to kick the leaders of. Hamas out of the Four Seasons in DOA. guar here's what I say to that there's. not a lot of good hotels in this world. there's very few of them and the Four. Seasons has consistency it has good. betting it has room service that is. pretty damn good I don't know if we need. to go kick Hamas out of the Four Seasons.

in DOA qar they have a standing. room well they have cond well they have. condos in the Four Seasons that they. live in representative Mike Waltz. demands Bill Gates ban Hamas from Qatar. Four Seasons representative Mike Waltz. is calling on billionaire Bill Gates to. step in and ban Hamas terrorists from. using any of the Four Season hotels. including one of the companies. properties in Qatar noting that the. Microsoft co-founder and former CEO has. a controlling stake in the hotel chain. through his investment firm hamas's.

political Wing has previously hosted. events at the Four Season Hotel in DEA. including a 2016 reception with then. Turkish prime minister. AMT good. luck yeah I mean and but so here's the. deal Qatar is very interesting right. because Qatar is like this you know. Middle Eastern country but it's. westernized didn't they have the World. Cup right they have all that stuff. happen they killed thousands of slaves. while they built their Stadium yeah well. but was did you see yeah yeah it was. good beautiful but this is what I mean.

seemed hot we you know slaves also built. the White House right right I mean a. long time ago but it you know you can't. you know what is the thing about the. omelet and and the Egg and the got to. break a few you got to break a few eggs. and slaves you have to break a few. slaves make an omelet to get a stadium. the point is the point is the Arab world. is going out there and they're saying we. are the future we're going to have great. big sporting events when they say can we. do the Olympics in Los Angeles you know. what the sick [ __ ] here say no we can't.

because we have too many homeless people. we can't move so we can't so the qar and. all these places are going like we come. here yeah we will host the biggest. events the biggest UFC the World Cup. we're ready put us in coach and then. cities like La cannot get enough people. they can't keep them from [ __ ] in. the street long enough so somebody could. do the pole. vault it's disgusting so here's what. I'll say Hamas is not good and what they.

did was barbaric but the political wing. of Hamas has been staying in the Four. Seasons for a very long time here's the. way I feel about brand. loyalty this is the way I feel about. brand loyalty I I believe in it as a. concept and I believe that not only do. you value a brand but a brand should. value you MH and if Hamas is going to. bring money into the Four Seasons in DOA. and do events and do the make your own. waffle yeah when they do the when they.

bring the Turkish prime minister in and. they're going to do the omelet station. we know how it goes we have the omelet. station we have make your own waffle you. know if Hamas is going to utilize that. then I don't know if who are we to say. you know well and it's a slippery slope. what's next the Yakuza are going to be. ejected from a hotel not my. hotel by the way I've stayed in very. highend hotels for a very long time and. the the the people that say they are. primarily criminals and we and thank you.

because without money laundering without. murder and killing and there's no nice. anything yeah there's nothing nice. without death and that's not popular to. say but it is true if you see marble. there's blood. somewhere I mean you you know you don't. get diamonds without blood diamond so. here's what I'm saying I'm saying that I. think that the political wing of Hamas. if they have I mean where are you on.

this why am I always come on where Hamas. Hamas in the Four Seasons Mike P Hamas. in the four SE we're going to put this. right on the Hamas in the Four Seasons. go well I think you make uh interesting. points Tim I uh I do I do enjoy peace I. do think that brand loyalty is important. but uh you know like you said Hamas is. not how about how about a nice stop it a. stop it but but should they be allowed. should Hamas be allowed to stay in the.

Four Seasons yeah yes by the way I think. they should yes why not because you know. again that's right again where does it. stop and if they're like put them into a. holiday in or somewhere less comfortable. how much are they they're going to. urgently do something going be worse of. it if you take me out of the Four. Seasons I'm get my fat accid and power. glider tomorrow dude if. you it won't even get off the ground. embarrassing will that be I have to roll.

in in a. barrel if you uh this episode's our. final one. yeah if you take them off a a sweet. Memory Foam bed and put them on a hard. Motel 6 cot yeah no by the way putting. them in a [ __ ] hotel is not going to. make it better dummy this is how dumb. our government this is how dumb our. government is our government's like get. their scrambled eggs out of their mouth. like it's like funny you got a. geopolitical crisis it's not fruit cup. that we're worried about exactly you. have Iran about to get into the war with.

Hezbollah you have China with destroyers. in the south in the in the in the Middle. East whatever the [ __ ] thing is you. have Russia uh that's backing uh you. know certain militias out there that. don't like us we have a whole Brew thing. Brewing here that's a real big World War. III scenario and this guy's like get him. out of the bed it's got him start with. their thread count we. have is it Egyptian cotton it's crazy. this is your solution to World War II.

get them out of the Four Season this is. just a person trying to say literally. anything without commenting on the war. and just being like what if we just what. if we just get him out of there that's. my listen to this the Four Seasons in an. October 15 statement. said hania who's the Hamas guy is not. living or staying at the Four Seasons. Hotel DOA but did not immediately. respond to the post request for comment. about the length of his previous day so. he's not even there they just don't want. well he is but yeah. but that's the thing I checked out he.

checked out he dropped his key in the. slot we haven't seen it and by the way. you know cuz this is awkward but you. know how nice he probably is to. everybody I bet he tips well you know. what I mean you know how nice he is I'm. not saying he's a good person yeah but. I'm saying he's nice he's probably very. nice so he's probably got people lying. for him going like yeah yeah yeah he uh. he Mr Ana he's just check he check out. isn't that a kind of outside of. everything it it does seem like kind of. a security concern if he is is staying. there oh it will be yeah oh yeah cuz I.

mean the mad's going to get it on and. shout out to the mad and I respect what. they're going to do they're going to go. assassinating people everybody's got to. get a shout out here that's a reality. yeah um but they are not going to take. this line that that's why all the idiots. who are just like free Palestine that's. a fine perspective to have but also. understand that like Israel is not going. to completely roll over after their. citizens are slaughtered sure that's. just not going that's not a realistic. thing the world is the way it is now you. may not like that the Palestinians don't.

have a state I would agree and say that. it's not a sustainable situation and is. barbaric and they've been living in that. but this idea that Israel is just not. going to respond is crazy that's crazy. so this is what it is you know this is a. real big [ __ ] mess especially from a. country who loves responding in an. over-the-top way they respond we do and. we do yeah big time it's kind of our. thing we we were kind of the best at but. does doesn't this feel very kind of post. 911 though in the messaging that they're.

trying to get us to support this [ __ ]. which is like us against evil us against. the good guy was also Russia you know. all of the all of the whole election was. like Russia installed Trump Russia's. evil then it was Russia and the Ukraine. we got to fight Russia and now it's. China China we gotta fight China we're. fighting North Korea for a minute there. we're fighting North Korea it's there's. always an enemy and if there's not an. enemy there's an enemy in the wings yeah. it's there's an enemy in the wings like. we're kind of we test out enemies we see. if they work they focus group enemies.

focus group. enemies like Syria never caught on we're. like we don't really. nah because we were we were going into. Syria getting rid of the Libyan State. and the Syrian State meanwhile Isis is. running around Syria yeah so then Russia. we are arming Isis to fight Russia and. we're arming Isis to fight the Assad. family who run Syria again they're not. great but they had a government we're. we're arming militias to fight the.

Syrian government and the Libyan. government and then we turn around and. go got to get tough with terrorism it's. like we're g we gave them all the money. but it's like a therapist giving shitty. advice on purpose yes they always come. back we need them we need them need them. just enough just enough advice to keep. coming back no we need them and and we. need them we need these groups of PE and. it really is that's what it is yeah we. just go around that part of the world. handing out missiles getting people. going. jinting people and then eventually one.

of them gets big enough to [ __ ] with us. and then we go out you know who we are. we're the guy in the bar that goes over. to one drunk guy and he goes you know. that guy's talking [ __ ] about you like. pinches his girlfriend's ass and then. Fades into the back great Bill Hicks bit. about like pick up the gun you know like. Shane the like pick up the gun like Jack. Palance being like you saw him he had a. gun you know but I just I hope this. whole thing uh I hope this whole thing. works out and you know me I I don't pull. any punches but I'll tell you this. wacky and stop it wacky and stop and.

I'll tell you this right now let's go to. some good news for a change Argentina. Court acquits none in deaf children sex. abuse case thank you good news wow good. news the death kids were. [Laughter]. lying two nuns and seven other female. employees of an Argentine Institute for. Deaf children were acquitted by a court. Wednesday of sexual abuse and rape the. ruling broadcast on public television. concluded a trial of 2 and a half years.

in a case that has shocked the home. country of Pope. Francis two priests in charge of the. children at the Antonio Prolo Center. Horatio kuarto and Nicola karate have. been. convicted that's kind of. close well how would you pronounce it. that actually is exactly it no but it's. I've been convicted and handed sentences. of more than 40 years for sexual abuse. including rape of 20 minor see the. Catholic Church it's not great the. victims were 4 to 17 Jesus Christ when.

the crimes were committed the. institution's gardener Armando Gomez has. also been jailed for 18 years why do. they not go for Life by the way I don't. understand why they're it's 18 years. yeah several staff were taken into. custody after allegations of abuse first. surfaced um why are they still referring. to them as crimes even though they were. commit acquitted so no no no these. people all went to jail I think keep. going down because we're gonna get. to.

um okay hold on hold on here we go here. we go go. up um a little bit more the latest case. focused on the alleged abuse of 11 to. the children in the dock where Japanese. nun Kumiko kosaka and paraguayan as asan. Martinez as well as a former cook a. psychologist a legal representative and. a School director and three other. employers kak stood accused of. aggravated sexual abuse and covering up. the crimes and Martinez of Corruption of.

miners among the other alleged offenses. a panel of three judges on Wednesday. acquitted them MH they were all. acquitted of the um the abuse of the. death so those two okay the rest well. the the um Ariel lazara the father of. one of the accusers describe the outcome. as a total. [Laughter]. Injustice well they know I don't know. they maybe they know somebody on the. inside they're just saying that deaf.

kids are unfuckable they're that's kind. of what they're saying they saying. they're Liars they're Liars by their. nature the de but this is a good this is. the good news this week because. everything else is bad yeah so this is. good the deaf children that were abused. were not abused by these people right no. somebody got them that is true but not. these guys so like I always you know. it's a silver lining on the cloud of the.

Catholic Church yeah you don't want you. don't want wrongful imprisonment that's. no good no I mean I mean I don't know. man arrested for faking heart attack 20. times at restaurants to avoid paying. bill mean that's this guy in my mind. yeah is an American hero he is I think. he did it in. Spain this man in my opinion is a. Spanish hero he's an American hero that. he's 50 years old he was from Lithuania. and he was arrested in Spain in my. opinion is a Lithuanian hero yeah I mean.

it's it's it's funny that by the way. it's a lot to fake a heart attack yeah. yeah that's an that's like a physical. effort you're also getting an ambulance. to come you're like you're making a SC. it's not thing nobody could do that to. America because it would be more money. to have a fake heart attack than pay the. bill ambulance is like 1500 bucks people. with real heart attacks go put me in an. Uber. afford so in Europe I guess you can just. fake heart attacks I guess maybe they. got him in a car does it say how he did. it like did they smuggle him into a car.

or something the man attempted to leave. it without paying but the restaurant. staff stopped him and noted how he still. needed to pay the bill um the scammer. became visibly upset and said he was. going to get the money from his hotel. room when staff refused to let him leave. without paying the man dramatically. threw himself on the ground and. pretended to have a heart attack not. fooled the staff called the police and. instead of an ambulance the man was. recognized by local. authorities that's that's a tough dis. Mount from Faking that to then kind of. looking around and noticing nobody's.

buying it and then being like I've had. this exact situation happened I worked. at an Applebees and there was a woman. who threw purel on the floor when she. went to the bathroom and I love it at. every stage of your life yeah you could. have done something better and just. didn't like there was no reason for you. to ever work at an apple big no ever in. your life no it's the craziest thing in. the world how old were you oh it was it. it was right after there's so many. better restaurants better places it was.

all right I figured out how to add Auto. gratuity it was okay but um but I it was. yeah I was there a few months and. literally the person threw PRL on the. ground as they went to the bathroom when. they came out of the bathroom she looked. both ways didn't even pretend to slip. she laid down slowly in it on the ground. and started screaming the manager. because I guess this happens a lot. espey like especially at an Applebees uh. the the manager checked the security. footage saw all of it and she was like I.

want my meal comped I want to eat here. for free for the rest of my life all. these demands and she goes all right I. just watched the security tape you're. full of [ __ ] we're going to call the. police and then she goes all right well. then like at least a free dessert right. that so that was her bargaining chip and. the woman's like I'm calling the police. and she's like here's the money and. extra for tip and I'm so sorry well I. there's something fun and I've always. respected people that commit to. something and the idea of going out to. Applebees and eating the food knowing. that you're gonna have to do that a two. for2 meal that's two appetizers two.

Entre for $20 no she was with another. person okay so $10 she's on the line for. $10 but it's so funny to just turn. around to that other person when they. start to get out their wallet and you go. no no no no no this I got this it's on. me I this it's on purel no it's it there. is something distinctly American about. trying to get out of especially a. restaurant Bill we dine and dash when we. were little kids we would run out of. Boulder Creek steakhouse in Hicksville.

and just run out once at Fridays I I. I've probably told this story before the. waitress was very vicious and rude she. was a very rude person sure because she. worked at Fridays so that's true but. hcap yeah perhaps that she created yeah. yeah and we were sitting there me and a. bunch of my friends and she was very. rude so I told them all to leave and. then I just went back in because you. know Fridays it's hectic I just went in. and grabbed all the money out of the. thing and I I got back in the car went. hi the sleeve oh yeah yeah I got in the.

car and I just turned to my friend's. brother I went go go go go and I started. handing everyone back their money I'm. like here's your 20 here's your 20. here's your 20 and we were all just. laughing it was a great night sure we um. I think they make them pay for it oh. yeah they definitely think that woman. had to pay the money out it goes out of. their thing for sure we used to do that. at the Blauvelt Diner and uh where's. that in Rockland County in blel and we. had similar 3:00 a.m. we weren't. drinking yet we were younger but this. waitress being you know she didn't want.

we were ordering [ __ ] right so she. was so mean that we ended up paying her. but leaving the cash in the milkshake on. the table and dipping it to the point. where we left it like a few bucks short. too so it wasn't even like exact but we. change at the bottom of the milkshake. the whole thing walked out and she's. slamming on the window as we were. running away here the thing they had to. do that now I tip so well I overdo it I. tip crazily I'm good but when you're. teen teenager there is a time in your. life when it is completely appropriate.

really to do things like that to destroy. someone's day it's it's really. appropriate when you are a teenager to. to do things like that occasionally. because when you get older you cannot do. that petty crime is real fun you know. flipping out a little bit and doing. something crazy like trying to get out. of a restaurant without paying as a. teenager I think is okay yeah I mean I. think it's okay I was we were constantly. doing a with money and stuff it wasn't. like that but we would constantly damage.

[ __ ] yeah we committed a lot of crime. pulling fences out of the ground oh dude. it was the best P pull down. basketballs egging cars paper paintball. houses we would throw eggs you know. there was there was people that worked. at B's B's Total Fitness sure there was. a big window and they'd be like running. on treadmills and we we would like throw. eggs at them and many of them didn't. even do anything they were just running. on the trail like on the elliptical like. who cares there was a french guy that. lived across the street from my friend. Timmy and he was just kind of rude to us.

once and we took two baseball bats we. were 10 years old across to his yard and. hit his tree into splinters just for no. reason we just we were like [ __ ] you for. looking at us weird and then we threw. snowballs in his Open Door one day he. accidentally left the front door to his. house open we snowballs these are the. things you got at my my friend this. woman Jill who lived next to us um I me. and my friend would smoke pot in my. backyard when my parents you know my. mother wasn't home they had been. divorced. uh Jill would say things to us and we.

used to grab butcher knives me and my. friend my chubby other little friend and. we were like 12 years old and we're like. we'll [ __ ] kill you you dumb [ __ ]. we'll cut your [ __ ] head off you. [ __ ] and she called the police and I. got a I got a person in need of. supervision a pins petition oh [ __ ] I. talk about it in my book yeah but what's. interesting about it is that um you know. it was fun it was fun to do you know my. street had just a bunch of like people I. mean like you talked about Rescue 911.

but I thought earlier you were talking. about Nanny 911 you remember that show. where people would it was it was the. same kind of concept where like it was. like a terrible home and they needed to. have a nanny come in to fix the. situation cuz the parents couldn't get. control of the. kids they shot an episode of that Cesar. Milan for kids yeah essentially yeah. they go like that they shot an episode. of that on my block and because the kids. were like un it was like across the. street from my best friends they would. just they were they were insane they. were throwing like hammers at people and.

cars going by. 911 dude it is cuz it's just the kids. were so out of control that they One on. Long Island it was like one of the most. I don't know if that if it's the Valente. one but it's like literally the most. it's one of the most uh Long Island's. always a legendary episode because. people can't imagine the animals that oh. yeah yeah well the parents are stunned. that their kids are acting up while. they're fist fighting drunk in the. kitchen that's why I love that show Wife. Swap where like they like they'll switch. it oh yeah switch the families switch. the families and like there'll be a. little fat kid who's like I'm not eating.

that. salad and the woman's like this is what. we eat we eat vegetables and he's like. no I don't no it was unbelievable my. mama lets me eat Nessa quick chocolate. powder for dinner okay so is this the. one on Long Island I don't know if this. is the one on Long Island no the Long. Island one I haven't found yet but this. is just generic all right let's see this. find the Long Island one please okay. just some kids crying because Obama won. on Long Island. no he was a communist Community.

organizer he's a Muslim he's married to. a man well all. true Nanny 911 is it the Lawrence just. hilarious is like you know the idea of a. guy being like the families are animals. the kids are mentally unstable they're. crazy it looked like such white trash. this was like you know they had like you. know people had this also pratal right. kind. of. Rin was in but uh what town is it Mike.

just curious specifically it's in. C that's crazy you grew up in Cent reach. yeah wow they call it Santa Rico a lot. why heavily Puerto Rican racist that's. it's not racist it's just the. demographics it was Irish it was Irish. in Puerto Rican that's the type of guy. you want to. be is that Sebastian is that the kind of. guy you ever go over there at. Gaza. what are they doing over there can you. let the Italians cater to.

pagram can we please let the Italian. skater to prgram a little better you're. eating what are you doing over. there I'm I'm um we watch some of this. sure. sure sitting here this is dead air. parents worst nightmare I told you stop. complaining kids completely out of. control. and taking over the. household 100% white kid of the RO get.

they're in desperate need of help. spraying a kid with a h only have one. alternative left it's time to dial Nanny. 911 hello this is Nanny. 911 real nannies world class nannies. from all over the globe they all British. yeah oh wow I like that. family was a marry Poppin situation. you're going to end up like Princess.

Diana if you don't get in that [ __ ]. chair he always wore that the little. Cape they will then have one week to. take we'll do too what we did to the. Congo they're just like showing kids. playing they're going to have to be some. major changes that go on that's the plan. can these families be saved what a fun. show can these families be saved yeah it. turns out the ones on my block were not. able to all right all right is sick. very I'm sure it was nobody likes.

anything better than watching something. horrible yeah like we've done you know. the TLC stuff which has gone crazy it's. like there's nothing there's nothing um. there's nothing more exciting to people. than watching you know that type of TV. but now the news has gotten so crazy. that there's no real like the reality. shows now yeah you can't compete with. China's got War in the Gulf we've got. warships in the Gulf that's why they're. going the opposite way they're doing.

like the golden Bachelor oh this is. interesting like the old people Bachelor. it's feel good they're like oh look at. these people before they die trying to. find somebody they like it's a love. story yeah and off into the sunset. that's it dude cuz the divisive stuff. there was a time for that it's not. anymore it's not right now no it's. gotten too rough now yeah the real world. has gotten too rough you need to just do. like things about nice stuff people I. asked my mom about the whole Israel. Palestine thing and she was like have.

you seen who moved to the next round. that America's Got Talent she's that's. the level she's like they have a dog who. juggles you know what I mean it's like. that's kind of where we're going towards. is a full well the dog's dead then we. don't know who killed it it was either a. missile that misfired from the. Palestinians or an air strike from. Israel but that dog was in a hospital. and now he's dead that dog has a yam by. the way where are we at on the hospital. who bombed the hospital who bomb the. hospital should be a segment who bomb. the hospital who bomb the hospital we.

should have like a like like a duop. group. O who bomb the hospital. o who bomb the hospital 500 Dead who. bomb the hospital everybody thinks it. was Gaza but we don't know oh they have. visual analysis the visual analysis now. saying maybe this was a misfired rocket. from um H Hamas mhm and you've been. saying this the whole time to your. credit you've.

been yeah you've been saying this the. whole time but I have been I I've been. unsure only because I like to get the. facts you like to gather information I. like to get the facts Davis fired right. from the hip he had the whole honeycomb. line thing he was he was but let's see. let's see let's see let's see show us. something that proves this please this. is also from Al jazer too oh oh boy hold. on this might be an ad oh yeah it is. hold on let's play out. jaer is uh remember they they first.

started getting big during B lad right. Iraq yeah they aired Bin Laden's videos. they were the first to the mixtape right. yeah that's right they were Al and now. they're okay so let's let's watch a. little there it is let's watch a little. Al jazer there's the rocket the AL jazer. News Channel a rocket launch was visible. on the frame that's looking out over the. night sky. from other cameras we can clearly see. the launch of multiple Rockets the AL.

jazer camera shows one of them that. appears to Veer off and break apart in. midair you can see obviously it fails. and flight and Spins out and. disintegrates it is not surprising a. number of weapons fail and it is well. known that a number of weapons will drop. inside Gaza and do drop inside Gaza and. do unfortunately kill civilians in Gaza. during it's not a surprising f it was. made in America small explosion seen on. the ground in the distance and then two. seconds later a much larger explosion. the time stamp that was on the screen. 6:59 p.m. local time was the time that.

the hospital was struck those time. stamps are in a very small time frame. that rocket was definitely launched from. within Gaza that a particular Hospital. based on a lot of geolocation patterns. does seem to line up with that General. geography likeone SS very condescending. telling us we're dumb for not. is is is Hamas saying it's Israel that. did that yes but I mean so there it.

is and it's listen it's a horrible. tragedy like obviously we're here doing. jokes because this is our job to be. comedians but yeah this is not it's. awful this is awful and this is crazy. [ __ ] you know what I mean like Jesus. Christ um this is inhuman and barbaric. that was a good album cover though was. the last. one it's like Against the Machine. burning parental advisory we're going. get we're going to get a fatwa against.

us pretty soon that was Mike cannon that. yeah Canon so but I have said to any. Muslim listening who wants to kill me I. have said I'm not convinced Israel. didn't do this because maybe they have a. really good propaganda machine I don't. know but but maybe it was a misfired. rocket from. Gaza stop it Ian I mean I just feel like. someone's going to take the homb the. hospital out of context and autotune it.

put a beat behind it that's going to be. something put the that's and then that's. the album. cover they said it was Gaza but it. wasn't Bo but it's like you know I mean. we we you know this is. brutal it's it's really crazy that. you're looking at these real scenes.

of so much chaos death and destruction. and you know you're powerless to do much. about it like I know all these. celebrities signed a letter and God. bless are we sure that didn't end. everything though no I think they start. I think it was War I think people. started really killing each other after. that okay but I get it I understand. people going let's sign the letter but. here's the problem it feels kind of like. that imagine thing during Co sure does. it feels a lot like that right it's. tough and I just don't think BB. Netanyahu cares that Kate Blanchett yeah.

and Hassan Minaj signed a letter you. don't think Jessica Chastain signature. is going to move I don't think it cares. galado signed a letter by the way that. said kill them. all so you want to talk about letters. entertainment industry a-listers signed. a letter to Biden urging a cizire in. Gaza and listen I would agree with that. but you also have to release all of. these hostages yeah that that you have.

to do it here's the thing imagine this. works and Biden is like truly taking any. kind of I don't advise advice from. [ __ ] celebrities no they're they're. their agent is going will you sign this. yeah they go okay they're signing it I'm. sure some of them are affected more than. others some of them you know like are. moam great comic gave an impassion. speech talked about this this is where. he comes from these are his people like. there are people people that are. genuinely speaking out from their own. experience they know people on the. ground they know things that are.

happening that are real but then there's. also a lot of celebrities that are just. signing a letter because they want they. want things attention yeah or they they. want attention they probably they want. this to end and stuff but the reality is. it's just like I just don't know if this. country or if any country has ever. listened to celebrities signing a letter. no I I I don't I don't know that that's. ever been a factor well I like that they. they tried singing imagine they realized.

that backfired so they're like let's go. old school let's do a letter well do you. think do you think Marilyn Monroe was. sucking JFK's dick and giving him advice. on the Bay of Pigs no no no but that's. when people knew their. place it was a simpler time a better. time yeah it was no but I mean the the. the reality here is that release hamas's. got to go we're releasing all of the. hostages mhm they got to say that they. and they got to release all the because. otherwise Israel's not going to stop. they'll just go to it'll be World War II. this is the reality and I and I know.

people are like well what about all that. hostages in Palestine at two million. that Palestinian state they're not. debating that now you might debate that. in the future let's stick to what's. happening now you retards dumbest people. in the world to message me here's the. thing [ __ ] what you have to do now is. you have to just end this immediate. situation anything else you want to do. can only be done dummies after you end. this immediate horrible situation that's. what you have to do then you can do.

other things you're never going to do. those other things without ending this. immediate nightmare yeah then you go to. the table then you go to the table with. other things and go we need to figure. something out that will never happen. unless all those hostages aren't freed. and then there is a ceasefire and Israel. does not do a ground assault it's a big. mistake to do a ground assault in Gaza. it's Urban Warfare it's crazy it's. trench it's a bad idea a dude it's a bad. bad idea yeah how could they possibly go. in there with any confidence and then.

what happens you evict all these people. throw them out then what what do you do. take over Gaza you run Gaza it's it'll. never be a good idea they is Israeli. troops will be sitting ducks for more. attacks if they're in G it's a very bad. idea Thomas Freedman to the New York. Times I make fun of all the time but. he's right about this I make fun of him. because he says dumb things he's like. the world has gone from connected to. hyperconnect it's like can you. please has all these word things I hate. but he's right about this it's it's a. mistake to go into occupy It On The. Ground yeah this is Iraq and Afghan this.

is all of this stuff this is going into. the mountains and the tunnels this is a. bad idea why would we do it this is a. bad idea and they want us involved they. want America involved they want American. troops we're already footing the bill. we're already footing the bill this is a. big mistake you know after 911 we did a. lot of bad [ __ ] and we destabilized a. lot of countries and the reality of the. situation is don't you don't want to. make that mistake the question is who. who do you think think actually wrote. that letter who is the actual person who. sat down and wrote that thing that they.

all signed dear President Biden we come. together as artists and Advocates but. but most importantly as human beings. witnessing devastating loss of lives. unfolding Horrors in his. pal it's a it's probably UNICEF we. believe that the United States can play. a diplomatic role in ending the. suffering we're adding our voes those. from the Congress UNICEF Doctors Without. bords International Committee of the Red. Cross I imagine it's some un yeah. subcommittee like it's well we were. talking about it last night that they. with the Imagine video with stuff like. this they've almost become the anti-.

influencer where the things that they. stand for people are having an adverse. reaction to it because it's disingenuous. so and because it's all over the [ __ ]. place and because it's mostly. self-serving so as soon as people see. that the general celebrity populace is. on board with something they're. automatically like I yeah I'm off this. there's nothing really that can be. done for such a conflict that is. so layered and it's been going on for so.

long you have a four paragraph letter. yeah that says we would like it to stop. yeah please and we're famous I mean to. be fair that is how we started this show. what by saying we would like it to end. deescalate and stop it well I have only. said that. I have said that as someone who the only.

reason I want it to stop is because I. want to start a war there oh I want more. Bloodshed I'm for the death of children. I'm going at it from the other way I. want. nukes I want a Christian crusade to kill. them all all that's what I'm. saying where's the ad do you have an ad. now somebody want to do an ad anybody. want to do an ad now. I'm Pro Christian Crusade that's why I'd. like this to stop so we can have time to.

lose weight so we can go in there no. matter where your adventures take you. this fall bespoke post has a box of. awesome to make it just that more. awesome the box of awesome is filled. with carefully chosen gear from the best. small Brands around the world let's see. what I got this month I got a box and it. had all kinds of cool stuff it had some. camping gear Essentials and Autumn. cocktail upgrades it's had cozy threads. box of awesome has collections for every. part of your life to get started take. the quiz at box ofawesome.com your. answers will help them pick right box of. awesome for you they release new boxes a. month across a ton of different. categories each box is valued at around.

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more American than fat people killing. others do you know what I so I went over. there to perform for the troops you you. did and this was interesting I did and. one of the most one of the things that I. had the toughest time grasping was that. their meals you know we're getting free. meals over there on the base all that. [ __ ] but we're talking to them their. meals come out of their paycheck so. they're [ __ ] paying for their lunch. for their meals out of their own pockets. it's AB isn't it [ __ ] nuts that's.

absurd right I right as soon as I. express get I mean it's it's fine it's. fine cafeteria food but it's just. chicken patties yeah it's spaghetti and. meatball and somebody told me on a mil. one of the military bases in Afghanistan. there was like 70,000 people they had. like a whole boardwalk of like fast food. restaurants and everything on the. military base it was crazy there there. there was one in Bahrain that was really. like kind kind of the party base it. didn't seem like anything was really. going on there but it it yeah that stuff.

was they were paying for their food and. then when we brought it up to them they. were kind of just like no it's like how. was the show the shows were unbelievable. they were the best shows I've ever done. I did one on Veteran's Day in a theater. in Kuwait and they like presented us. with all of these things being so. grateful I had just gotten bit by a. marine dog that day like you know I put. on the FL jacket I was kicking it. telling it to. why did well so and it was just an. amazing time because they're very. grateful yeah they were so grateful but.

then you know you see it and also the. cafeteria you think these people they're. soldiers right they're doing intense. laborious [ __ ] they're going out there. to [ __ ] take care of business and. they're feeding them sometimes like. burgers and heavy [ __ ] and you're like I. understand the Comforts of home and you. need to remind them of that but they. should be fed like their super athletes. that's not carbo load yeah you know what. I mean yeah maybe but. well here's the deal they're just there. to kill people right at the end of the. day working you know we're just there to.

kill people you know I mean we could. dress it up any way we want but they're. just there to kill I think there's. anything wrong with that you don't you. want us to have abs while we do it no I. think it's actually funner and cooler if. you send a bunch of fat guys over there. to kill the kids they pulling their. shirt down they're just there to kill. 11-year-olds that they think might have. bombs trapped to them so they're just. going to shoot them in the face but I'm. glad they enjoyed your. show. I'm kidding military obesity rat sore.

compounding recruitment challenges. Services still struggling to find. eligible applicant because everyone in. the military now has gotten to be a big. whale but here's the good news we're. fighting high tech Wars with drones and. all kinds of like Precision Weaponry. we've invested so much money billions. trillions of dollars into DARPA the. defense Advanced research projects. agency we have like alien technology. happening we are so there's nothing more. American than a fat guy playing a video.

game and wiping out people 100% there's. nothing more American than that just a. big fat slob just in a room killing. everyone disconnected from the humanity. all I'm not into that SEAL Team Six. where everybody's ripped up and Seal. training SEAL training should be nothing. you know what SEAL training should be. you should walk in a room they should. hand you a Big Mac and they should go. they should put photos of people of all. different ages and genders and. everything and go who won't you.

kill and then a guy's like I kill them. all there you go you're in you're a Navy. SEAL now you push this button and. just and that's what it is because we. need people to not be [ __ ] we need. them to press buttons and get it done. yeah we don't need hot people in the I. mean it's nice yeah I'm old I guess I'm. old school in that way I'm thinking. about it boots on the ground but what. you're saying is new that's the new age. war is is just get slovenly people that.

are have no problem pressing a button. they probably won't even feel it their. fingertips are numb I know there's some. great people in the military phenomenal. people in the military and then I know. some other people yeah you know just. like cops for sure friends that became. you know yeah and it's a it's a. courageous thing to do we need a great. military I don't have the balls to do it. I respect everybody who does yeah you. know what I mean I used to suck off this. 24-year-old Marine who from Southern. California who was kind of [ __ ] was. he ripped though he was ripped had a. sixpack but he was [ __ ] yeah and he.

didn't understand what was happening. ever yeah I'm not talking about I mean. he wasn't that [ __ ] but I mean like. he you know he was just like he that was. a dangerous he didn't understand what. was. happening there was no consent he just. playing with. butterflies I might everyone's Pro rape. here we're all pro rape i' I've got I. mean it's like Chrystal is doing that. music festival Israel next year they B. him. already stop it Diana did it Diana said.

I didn't even say it here's the point. there's a lot of people who are just you. know they just a lot of people just I. get it if they we let kill them they go. we got to do it and you got to do it I. met a kid when I was over there he was. 18 years old from Kansas he looked like. a baby and I and I was talking to him I. was like so what do you do he's like man. he's like I wanted to be in [ __ ]. infantry I want to be on Theo on the. ground he's like turns out I'm [ __ ]. smart he's like so now I'm behind a. computer yeah like he's like livid that.

he doesn't get to kill people face to. face but sometimes that's where they. need to go yeah people that want to kill. others should go into our military yeah. that's you know because we don't want. them doing that I mean we have the best. murderers and homicides in the in the. world right I mean we should be we have. good ones but we've seen some send some. of Chicago out there yeah that's right. that's a real Boomer that's Boomer you. know it's like the. Boomer. hey about Chicago you go over there how.

about you kill people over there instead. of killing them in your back in guns are. illegal there and look what's going on. about D you go over here you join the. military that way when you die your. family gets something for it literally I. it was once we were in a in a mall and a. Scott's military recruiter he went up to. this guy and he was like he was like. he's like you should join the military. and it was a black guy black guy goes. where I'm from there is a war and the. military recruiter goes yeah but when. you die overseas at least your family.

gets something for it literally he said. that in the in the Long Island Mall holy. [ __ ]. crazy so like you know the kids like all. right it makes sense that guy killed. Osama Bin Laden but I mean it's like did. you ever think about going into the. military no my friends as a prank signed. me up for the Marines um they I'm not. kidding they they gave them they went to. a recruitment center and then they gave. them my information my phone number my.

address and they called um multiple. times a week for months until happened. my mom got on the phone with them and. they make they made good points uh and. then my mom got on the phone with them. and screamed until they uh they my son's. a terrorist we have the same story my. friends didn't I don't know if my. friends signed me up but I spent like 90. minutes on the phone with a recruiter. cuz I just didn't know what was I was. like [ __ ] and just walking around my. house talking this guy and then my mom. got on the phone and started screaming. it was like not not coming it does feel.

like there is that thing of like watch I. tell you I'm watching B of Brothers but. there is something about that where you. go I I watch that I watch even Full. Metal Jacket you're supposed to get this. feeling of like War as hell this is all. thing I watch that I'm like man what. camaraderie that looks that looks great. that's because you didn't play sports if. you played team sports you would have. had that I say one thing that might not. be great for everyone in the room say it. through Diana and my own career. everyone knows that.

trick I'm a very bad ventril yeah I'm. leaving out the activities that happened. when they landed did the paragliders not. look. fun just as a thing like was there a. moment of fun no dude when you're doing. I didn't even know that was a thing I. never even knew that I don't want to do. that to kill people I want to do it at. like Sandals Resort yeah do you think do. you know what I mean a couple we were. exclaimed I'm just saying it looked like. I thought it was like a fun if you saw. that at South by Southwest yeah it was.

just like look at this fun thing I there. should be some sort of squirrel suit Red. Bull helmet yeah I was like this can't. end in the murder because it's just f it. looked fun you know but it's so but I'm. happy that our I love that our parents. were like our sons will not sacrifice. one were you ever close no no no no I. remember after 911 I felt for a minute. like it'd be cool to have a job as like. a CIA agent this is when you don't know. anything you're in like 11th grade it'.

be cool to do something that mattered. because like you're like [ __ ] you know. things are real now and I want to do. something that matters like being a. military or work for like a top secret. you know and then that wears off within. months yeah I my roommate in college was. uh doing like Roc and signing up and he. was like six foot five he looked like a. GI Joe and he was. excited beyond belief about going over. to Afghanistan like he was well there's.

a lot of guys that joined for patriotic. reasons they go we want to help and we. want to like actually like you know we. don't want this [ __ ] to happen right we. need a military as much as we K around. about it we need people to go over there. and [ __ ] [ __ ] up when people threaten us. 1,000% we just need to put them in in. winnable situations he he was he would. often talk about the excitement of. killing like looking forward to killing. people yeah. sure sure just watching the. breath of body also that the way he. described it was you know a very.

specific the w a very specific slur but. yeah I mean he was uh he was out of it. but it was it was it was out of. patriotism it was yeah and that's nice. yeah you need some you need some you. know you know PE people when I was. driving in a. tunnel and because I was by the way I. was about to be married to a big. Egyptian and and he was about to be a. Muslim in the British royal family so. mr6 and the Mad had me killed in the.

tunnel and they said that the Press did. it which never made any sense to anybody. they said that the. press the people with cameras caused my. limosine to crash and the it's not true. and now my son has married a black girl. all right you know this is not go right. in the cup this is not what we want this. is not what what we want um this is a. fun episode do we do we think this stays. on you do you think they'll leave this. on you not a.

chance do you think this will stay on. YouTube I think it'll get all the gates. it'll get uh you know AG gated and we'll. get ad suitability red everything yeah. it'll get blocked but maybe for a couple. it'll be good couple that means it's. good it was a good run yeah yeah that. means it's good all right I'll be back. solo next week but I really like these. guys so I figured we would go we would. go and have a lot of fun and I think. we've done that yeah had a good time. we've done that you know and that's all. we can do your new special tell people. where to get it uh new comedy special.

youtube.com/ mikf comedy it's Mike fenia. night at the comedy seller I directed it. and edited it it's out on October 27th. please go watch it on Canon Live dates. coming up live dates also I'm the. co-host of Chrissy chaos with chrisan. Chris Deano that's uh that's going to be. super fun in uh November I'm going to be. in levitown Long Island at a Governor's. baby when is that November 3rd and 4th. are you in town I'm in Rochester. November 3rd but November 4th I may just. pull up to hang out come hang for sure.

that'll be good time uh and then I'm be. in DC in uh December December 8th and. 9th I got some Florida dates as well but. I'm all over the road and uh yeah Mye. Canon comedy.com for all that Tim. comedy.com we're on sale very soon with. uh shows in Boston and DC and all these. places but uh Rochester New York. Pittsburgh Houston San Diego Toronto. Austin Brea columb. Pennsylvania Washington Northfield Ohio. San Antonio Dallas Atlanta St Louis.

Indianapolis Boston and then Foxwoods we. also have dates coming in London Dublin. Glasgow H or Edinburgh and uh Manchester. maybe I don't know anyway uh and that'll. be the end of the tour so the next two. three months that's it we do appreciate. it and uh thank you everybody for. listening and again we hope this stays. uh available it will I think your open.

yeah all right thank you everyone good. night.