Jessica Kirson & The Revenge Of The Basic | The Tim Dillon Show #387

ladies and gentlemen the great Jessica. Kon is with us turn me down I'm a little. hot in these headphones this is a little. loud thank you thank. you it's Easter Sunday this will be. released in in a week or two because. I'll be in Europe and you were trying to. get here did the driver who told you. that there was a trans parade on Fifth. Avenue did he just think the Easter. Parade was the trans parade because the. Easter Parade everyone wears Bonnets and. looks crazy right I think he just. thought that was the trans parade I. think maybe there were two parades well.

he also said it's some kind of Indian. holiday too I think he's on. acid he honestly there was no there was. no Uber driver I'm joking no if I saw. people with those crazy hats I would go. oh it's a trans prade that's oh my God. is that the Easter Parade M this is the. Easter Parade that person needs to be. killed why is that person wearing that. hat is that a hat yeah they all have. funny hats and Easter bonnets but that's. dumb why what is that well this is the.

whole thing it's Easter they all wear. bonnets but that's not a bonnet that's a. [ __ ] tree Well everybody's getting. creative you know that's not creative. that's mentally ill I mean I'm mentally. ill but that's like you need to be in a. home this is what he thought the trans. parade was I think I think so too I. think he saw this and he was like this. has to be the trans parade it does not. look like an Easter Parade it looks more. like a trans parade than an Easter. Parade but everyone in the yeah but. everyone in Easter Parade was wearing.

like chaps and heels so that I don't. know it might have been a little. confusing it might have been. confusing I just because I guess they. they've made trans visibility day Easter. I don't really when did that happen I. don't know it happened recently Biden. did it recently and people Biden's doing. oh was it was it oh it's it's a it's an. annual event occurring every March 31st. since 2009 oh it just happened to be and. by the way is. Easter is Easter the same day every year.

no okay so it's an invented thing that. people are mad about it just so happened. that this year right you had the trans. day visibility and Easter at the same. time but then why are people so upset. about it it's not they want to be well. you know who's the most upset about it. is Caitlyn Jenner who's [ __ ]. transgender you know what get your dick. put back on and make a bigger statement. yeah does she have a dick I think it's G.

why well she seems pretty angry I think. she has a dick I've heard that it was. taken by who like a a Thief did someone. did someone mug her and well there's a. lot of home invasions in LA right now. did a squatter take her dick there's a. lot of there's a lot of crime happening. so I think somebody went into her Malibu. house and gra her dick her [ __ ]. trophies and a slipper what did they. take like a thief in the night her. genitals were not removed but rather. rearranged.

what into a form consistent with being a. woman they were put into a cross she so. religious they took her dick and her. balls and made him to a. cross and this and today she has an. Republican trans like a doctor like a. republican trans I hope she went to like. she had a Nazi put them on yeah I hope. she went to like a guy who was like you. know like angrily doing it oh yeah like. [ __ ] like I put I put your dick into. cross get on the train I hate it too but.

we need to do it quickly and quietly I I. hate myself also but let me just quiet. like there's things I like about her. Caitlyn came to my Christmas party in La. really yes and she was lovely she was. fun she T showed everyone her plane her. plane she flies a little plane around. Malibu what is she's a real life. superhero. Jessica what is the the hero we need. what's the thing look there she is right. there can you imagine her to run the. plane does it have a top like there's no.

top on it isn't she like 72 she's huge. yeah she's very robust yeah she's a. robust woman wow and she is what's her. girlfriend look like I'm sorry I just. have issues with her because she's like. homophobic no of course I get it she was. against gay marriage but by the way. here's the thing she said I am against. gay marriage because I'm an. old-fashioned girl it's the funniest. thing that's ever been said oldfashioned. girl is amazing to me it's amazing I. just can't not like her because I.

understand that to say that to say I get. it I get it all seven feet tall of. you with these big size 15 Christian. lautan on that are like specially made. her hands look like the ones in the. baseball team you know when you could go. in the baseball no it's crazy and then. she goes I'm an old fish girl look at. her right there get that up she's. fueling up her plane can you please get. up the photo of her fueling her plane. she the size of a plane just standing. not going vertical I mean is this not a. superhero she's fueling up her plane and.

she just flies it around. Malibu looking for gay marriages to fly. over and scare everybody bomb gig Mar. bomb but it's a very what a wildlife can. I see a can I see a picture of her. beard her wife or the actual she's not. married she's against it no she has uh. her partner is a lovely woman who also. came to the Christmas party her oh of. course her part is a trans a ga.

influencer her partner's trans trans. Maga influencer this is the F I'm sorry. Merry Christmas and happy New Year wait. her partner was a man and is now a woman. that is. correct I I'm I'm this is f to be the. case I mean she's beautiful she's. incredibly attractive look at her face. right now Caitlyn is she [ __ ] look. at her face that well she's very proud. maybe that's part of their whole Kink. that she love the back of the the step. repeat it says Beverly Hills IV therapy.

this is incredible and then it says Face. Forward international well her face is. forward I mean she's [ __ ] in that. picture she's an interesting woman she's. definitely not. traditional. traditional so what does she say you. think they can we get up the Tweet about. they have to scissor they. Shear it's a hot number she's got there. that woman yeah I mean I I the the woman. she's with is stunning she's very pretty.

is she pregnant at that no she's against. that she she's against all of it she's. against everything interesting I know. it's very interesting it's like me like. it's it's like you being well I mean. we're both homophobic we we I mean I'm. internally homophobic I'm relatively. homophobic I'm not homophobic against my. I'm homophobic against people that are. under like 30 every gay person that's. been born at a like I If you're like 16. I'm homophobic because like you're just.

a lot the younger gay people are a lot. and I love them because you know you. have to love everyone but they're a lot. the younger people are a lot I'm not. homophobic against other people I'm. homophobic against myself um because I. feel like I'm a sinner but I am a h I'm. not homop I hate when people tell me I. need to call myself queer because I hate. that word this is why the young people. are a little Annoying I don't care if. you call yourself you can call yourself. like you need to call yourself I'm like.

you've touched a girl's shoulder okay. you are not I [ __ ] marched I I fisted. I have I've had been married have. children like don't tell me I'm like one. of the first people who you know I'm old. school like I first of all I've never. marched I can barely get out of bed I. was just say where did you march let me. know what what thing you marched at I. will lie and say that I marched as well. I'm like where Did We The Garden City. Hotel. brunch I I marched as well I marched. right from the matri to the table and.

then right complain I'm a Jew I've only. marched to the major D and said I don't. like my chicken sh well by the way it's. like and this is why I didn't last in. Austin Texas you need Jews to make. things good because they have to. complain right wasps don't complain I. know they don't even like to look the. waiter in the eye you're right the Wasps. don't even like to acknowledge that. they're there in in an establishment. with people lower than them Jews will. complain you need that elderly people. complain Elder every elderly if they can.

speak every elderly person complains. that's right all of them my I have a. joke my had dinner with my mother and. she said I don't like this chicken salad. I'm like it didn't even come yet right. it's in the kitchen and you're already. complaining they love it there it's it's. constant complaining it's all they do. yeah because that's what's left but. that's kind of like Caitlyn's what. 70 Caitlyn's 744 Jessica she's an. elderly person.

look at her face wait 74 she really. honestly she 74 Jessica I have no. obviously I have no issue with the Trans. I think trans women are hot like a lot. of them are [ __ ] hot but I the fact. that she is homophobic in so many ways. and against G is insane but it's it's. interesting because not all gay people. and trans people will get along and I. guess Caitlyn Jenner she's also.

74 right I me so she's a here's the. other thing she's old right she's like. an old person well I know but she's. Hollywood like she's been around she so. it's kind I think she does a lot to be. in the spotlight and do you think she. really believes everything she's saying. come on seriously I don't know here. there she goes I'll say it [ __ ]. which is spelled wrong that is the. funniest thing what oh.

but this is a fun you know I think she's. fun I know I don't know what's going on. I know you think it's fun I get it there. are but there are so many but she's not. the president there I get it she doesn't. have any power but she justes a plan but. there's a lot of homophobic and. anti-trans people who are getting off on. this they but are they getting off on. her they're they're thinking it's. amazing that a.

is being anti-trans and anti- gay I. think it's kind of like a circus well so. I look at it as like a she's it's part. of the circus but it's funny to me if. you're homophobic and anti-trans and. that is your leader that is the funniest. thing to be in the world that your. leader is a seven foot. tall Caitlyn Jenner it's hilarious well. but there's Ellen with. her can we get that up can we play that. or is that going to get cop about Ellen.

I mean yeah Ellen's not great huh no. Ellen is an Angry Vagina why is she so. mad well she doesn't have enough. money she's like a. billionaire Ellen I I've heard so many. things about Ellen I've never met her. right um but I've heard that she is just. not a nice person I mean I've heard that. from personal people whove worked for. her not just read and I I know people.

who have worked in major positions for. her on her television show I know people. that have worked for her as well I know. writer that worked very good friends who. have you know worked in major POS she's. tough she's very tough um and they've. all said the same things I also never. like the fact that she didn't have. comics on her show ever she had like Amy. Schumer I think she did not have a lot. of Comedians and as a female comic I or. as a comic period forget about female. male. um I would always have comics on I would.

always support Comics she doesn't seem. to like Comics she doesn't like I don't. think she first well she and she only. likes clean comedy doesn't she is she. one of those so does Bill Cosby who. rapes people but right or maybe he. doesn't like the Holocaust never. happened you know yeah we're still. waiting on the info yeah I don't know. well it is it is weird that she never. had a lot of comics she only had really. a-listers and then like she would select. like people that wrote somebody' write a.

letter right like my well maybe if the. comic would had one eye and was dying of. rectal cancer she'd have she might it. was always something like that she'd go. she'd go hey we just got a letter yeah. like this this comedian has one eye and. rectal cancer and we're going to give. him a bike you know what I mean that. kind of he's got and he can he can. they'd show up to his house and he'd be. like his ass would be bleeding like I. have a tricycle outside we're here for. you and he be like thank you com for. coming a tri call you know something.

like that but he never she never had. someone on she liked people that were on. their way out yeah of course because. there was no competition for her she. liked people that were dying right only. they all like people who's going to die. because it's less competition yeah they. go bring somebody out stage four they. don't even want a stage two they go. bring somebody out stage four it's never. someone who's going to be okay no let's. give them something and let's get him. out of here let's let's win let's get. some good uh good vibes from the. audience. my dream is to meet.

Oprah uh we want to have you on uh we we. heard that uh your D wishes to meet me. yeah I want to meet you Oprah I'm. not I'm not. feeling well we love you and you're. going to have a peaceful uh time in. heaven Hallelujah.

[Music]. oh God have you met Oprah no I would die. if I met Oprah I really she's one of. those people I would I don't even think. she's real I think she's just a wax. figure she's one of the few people that. they still retain that aura of like. crazy celebrity yeah where you're like. God I've met Madonna and I I saw Gail. King Once In First Class and it did. nothing for me that's Oprah's.

lover it is Oprah's lover I know it's. clearly Oprah's lover 100% 100% And I've. always thought that of course yeah of. course I I also think I think stemman. and Charles Barkley are together yeah is. stadman real this guy that's no I think. he's just a tree I don't know well it. was just funny it was like back then. everybody like R yonell had a fake. relationship with Tom Cruz like. everybody just had to kind of play yeah.

right and everybody had to kind of just. you know be that I know no I they're. definitely are they holding hands in. that picture with steman in the back no. just the angle oh no but they're. lovers your your pointer thing was just. on Oprah's nipple that was hot yeah. they're and stemman though look at. stemman looking out yeah he's like why. am I here what did I choose what what a. great job for a guy to get yeah I mean. he Oprah's fake husband yeah fusman I. know you just live in that big estate in.

monoco I mean wow I bet Oprah's the. bottom oh for sure well she's so she's. such a top in life yeah exactly I bet I. bet Gail beats her with self-help books. oh yeah well I think Gail dangles like a. French patrion in front of her face and. then says you're a dirty little [ __ ]. and then throws it out of the kitchen. window and then Oprah just gets all you. know. Oprah down OIC I love that it all like.

Oprah by the way had 50 trainers 45. chefs every diet she brought in she used. to have this Chef Rosie cooking with. Rosie this then she had this other chef. and now she's like let's just do it. shoot up I get it do it too do it why. not I mean why not listen she said every. Chef you can every chef didn't yes she.

didn't she put an axe in her mouth once. I mean she's done everything she's done. everything that she can do they've. locked her throw up they've they've. tried they've locked the kitchen her. house is so big in Monaco she has to. drive to her kitchen and she still does. it she still gets in her car and drives. to her kitchen changes Lanes parks and. goes to the refrigerator at 2 a.m. she. cemented her mouth shut once none of it. helps of it helps she hir Caitlyn Jenner.

to sit by the refrigerator with a gun. nothing will do it she once covered her. mouth with Caitlyn Jenner's penis and it. still. didn't but I mean that shows you it's. like I mean look at that house get her. house up for a minute I mean that is. like a fairy tale Disney palace over. there insane that is insane and she just. walks the Halls she doesn't though yeah. I mean she you she before OIC she didn't.

even walk to the bathroom but here's the. thing so what her school she had owned a. bunch of schools and then they got in. trouble cuz the girls were being. trafficked or something she just had. some bad press what happened I don't. know I heard there were a lot of flies. shortly after the old girl school opened. in 2007 a school matron Virginia tiny. makao was charged section blessing girl. that's not. great timey flew to South Africa to. offer a pray yeah but then something a. little person that's actually molested. going to [ __ ] you I was a little tiny.

person follow the little [ __ ] follow. the all right where wait what wait a. second was that what happened Oprah. Winfrey girls Academy in the spotlight. over claims of Abus. of oh my power I don't know what I don't. remember this she has all these schools. in like Africa and then I think at these. schools they were having lots of. problems well her spiritual advisor also. when you get too rich you get like a. guru you get a spiritual adviser it is.

way out of control and I think her. spiritual adviser went down for like. being like all spiritual advisers by the. way uh like a serial. rapist you know what I mean this is just. what happened I love that you're just. said all spiritual many of them many of. them have that problem all these Cults. it's the same yeah Oprah spiritual. healer sends to 99 years in prison for. rape and. trafficking yeah but look how hot he is. calls himself John of God yeah I.

mean I think you you you is that my. stepfather. [Laughter]. hell you get so rich like Oprah's gotten. so rich she's like I just gotta keep. looking for the meaning of it one thing. that shocks me is how easily taken in. rich people are by. grifters did you just read what it said. I totally agree with you but I'm sorry. girls were forced to have babies to sell. oh he allegedly operated Brazil running. Farms of young girls who are forced to.

have babies to sell victims are often. reported missing or murdered after 10. years of giving birth per multiple. Outlets oh my this is the most beautiful. thing I've ever heard and this is. Oprah's um spiritual. adviser she endorsed him a decade ago. this is but she said she hopes Justice. served isn't it funny she hopes Justice. is. servop she's not going to do anything. about it but she really hopes it's taken. care of you think she'd go likey was. wrong on that one hey guys she can't.

take responsib J like those 18 diets I. recommended I was wrong my spiritual. advisor turned out to be a human. trafficker and all the chefs I brought. on that made me thin none of them worked. either because they all know how to make. pancakes you know she would move them. into the house like literally they would. put they would have these my grandmother. was like the biggest Oprah fan every day. at 4m. really she watched Oprah like. every Long Island woman ever yeah and. then like Oprah would like be with she'd. bring in these chefs and she's like this.

is the chef and it was like Chef Rosie. or Chef whoever yeah and then you know. eventually they she they'd put out a. cookbook they'd become millionaires. right multi-millionaires. multi-millionaires and then Oprah like I. guess then they would just get axed I. don't know what happened I guess Oprah. was just like she would lose weight she. wouldn't lose weight maybe she ate them. and then she wanted she just wanted more. food she's like I want candy get the. [ __ ] out did you ever read that Bethany. Frankle book you know the housewife from.

New York I texted with her the other day. I'd never really spoken to her um she. friends with Whitney Cummings she's a. sweet woman but her book is like. naturally thin and you read the book and. it's like just don't eat like that's the. whole I'm sorry listen it's just so. funny that's not okay no I know she's. like I'm a food addict I'm an addict. we've you and I talked about this a. million times I'm in recovery I'm a food. addict I can't have one piece of bread I. [ __ ] my face with bread we talked about. this before like some of uh don't eat.

okay don't do crack don't do she'll be. like eat the rainbow that's one of her. rules she's like eat the rain you eat a. rainbow I want to find out cuz I love. Skittles what does that mean don't eat. eat the rainbow eat different colored. food she's like then she has one where. she goes taste everything eat nothing. and it's like okay okay I sorry but you. know what can I do the show with her. this is the dumbest thing I've ever. heard in my whole. life what has she ever heard of addicts. of addiction no I think that I guess.

it's advice for people that don't have. any of those issues okay does she say. that she needs to say that might say it. but she might she says it then I have no. problem with it if she doesn't say it's. not okay housewives that are bored but. if okay that's fine but if she needs to. say that because if it's for all women. then it's very it's offensive listen. listen ready it's all a misconception. being naturally thin isn't some state of. being beyond your grasp you are. naturally thin just have to make a few. simple changes to let your natur.

naturally thin yeah that's not that's. not true it's genetic yeah it's not it's. not true she goes I found the secrets I. got naturally thin for life and I want. to share those secrets with you I I I. okay I I my mother had all the diets my. mother had everything every diet known. to man you're not naturally thin it's. it's all a lot of it is what you come. from no no I'm saying I I'm sorry I. should not have said that some people.

are born and they're going to be thin. yes I it's a lot of it's genetic yes a. lot of it is genetic a lot um and some. people don't have to worry about it they. they don't have the issue they don't. have sure but a lot of people do have to. think about it and the poison in the. food system in America 100% is terrible. it's horrific it's not good horrific and. in other countries like the one I'm in. right now while people are watching this. they are not allowed to put plastic and.

ranch dressing or like they're not even. allowed to really have ranch dressing. but like they're not allowed to have the. level of poison that we have in the food. we allow it we allow corporations to do. anything they want and if they want to. pollute food that children eat they're. allowed to do it in other countries they. say. no but we in other countries they don't. have like cookie ice cream sandwich. breakfast cereal you know what I mean. like other countries not have like. waffle bacon bomb breakfast cereal.

they're not allowed it's Franken food we. have Franken food our food doesn't even. make sense anymore it's like confusing. like there was a a dish of Denny's it. was salted caramel Bananas Foster. pancakes steak steak right chicken fried. steak it doesn't even sound good half of. it no it doesn't no it's so Franken food. it's all weird yeah peanut butter lamb. chop yeah Frank too. many too many things that are going on.

at once I know cuz people are out of. control and I understand if you're okay. right now in this world there's. something wrong you're a killer there's. something wrong with you full on. sociopath yeah you really are but you. know what just listen to Bethany just. don't eat well Taste the rainbow eat the. rainbow what okay I'm sure it works for. some people of course it does cuz they. don't have a food issue and they can. just do that just like someone can have. one drink or a sip of a I okay that.

would be like if you yes if you wrote a. book about alcoholism you said same just. try a bunch of different wines I don't. eat bread I haven't had bread orally in. three years right I have a Kaiser role. in my [ __ ] but I haven't had bread. orally in three years I don't eat pasta. I don't eat cookies I don't eat I can't. I can't have one cookie I will eat 846. of them addic of course it is yeah for. sure and that's how I lost a ton of. weight I'm addicted to food yeah but.

some people are not they don't have to. worry about it Kaitlyn Jenner's not no. she's addicted to being homophobic she. might be the only healthy person in this. country Kaitlyn Jenner no I think. there's some other ones too I think. there's a. lot she's she's so F who would you freak. out to meet I'm dying to ask you this. like what celebrity like who's the if. there's one or two or threey Allan let. me tell you why but let me tell you why. cuz he's also a child I want to know if. he's guilty or not I want to look in his. eyes and go is it is it a problem did.

you do it I think the extra the added. thing of like yes I grew up watching all. of his movies and I think he's brilliant. but also that added thing of meeting him. and just trying to make a judgment like. can do you right what right right if I. looked in there would I see anything but. I don't know maybe I wouldn't maybe I. wouldn't. know he's also one of those opra likee. figures to me were. like he's only going to be on earth for. a little while long. he's kind of a staple in New York the.

city that I love and I grew up in like. well he's around a lot of kids which. makes you young do you think he did it. yes yeah it's not I know but I. understand when people don't like I. don't judge people for their opinions. like some people don't I was with him to. like episode three or four in that. documentary and then that was the rough. one yeah there was one episode where I. went oh no yeah it's like [ __ ] everyone. was like but you got to see episode four. or something and then I'm like okay yeah. and then watched it and I was like damn. it cuz you don't want it to be true.

obviously yeah did you who else anyone. else that I would freak out to me OJ. Simpson because not only no I'm kidding. um like OJ uh who would I freak out to. meet who would I be I that it would be. really cool for me to meet. um I think it would be really cool to. meet like a David Letterman cuz I. watched him every night when I could. when I was younger I never liked him. interesting never I would always just. have him on I think he's brilliant I.

think he's really smart but I think he I. think there's two different kinds of. Comics comic figures who are takers and. givers and I've always thought he's a. taker interesting I've never I never had. any you're a giver I've always laughed. at you because of that I've never had. any knowledge of of him other than he. was this guy that was a brilliant guy. that I watched he brilliant I don't know. I SEF would be interesting to me because. I'm I fear Him you never met him I've. never met him I'm kind of afraid in New. York you never met his wife's a fan his. wife likes what I do Instagram yeah she. seems great I've I've lived in La for 5.

years oh right and then I'm on the road. a lot I'm like LA and then on the road. then I'm here occasionally I'm here in. the Summers and stuff I might see them. this Summer he'd be cool because again. these are people that you grow up. watching yeah and they take on you know. David Spade in La that I hang out with. Spade we have dinner he's amazing. because I grew up watching Spade yeah. it's weird when you start hanging out. with someone that you were a fan of. that's really weird that's really really. weird it's wild yeah and when you're. with someone who's a huge celebrity and.

you're like they are so normal that and. people freak out over them yeah or you. meet people and immediately you're like. oh like that would have been great to. not of course you know I wish I didn't. know that there's a lot of there's a lot. because to me I'm like H A lot of people. that I'm fans of I don't need to meet a. lot of great actors I just they're great. and I could leave them yeah I know as. actors and they don't you know yeah I. know it's it's not I feel like the. people who are not always but for the.

most part the most famous are the easier. for me to be around it's like the people. who are they're not like hungry and. trying it's not yeah you know people. that are kind. of you know we were in noou the other. day Taylor Swift was there DiCaprio was. there Travis Cy Robert DeNiro who I know. you know they were all there and they. were all just you know and then people. freak out over them but like by the way. I think that's happening less and. less I think so too it's not like it was. it's not like it was I think it's dying.

down I think ultimately the future is. you know it is that Andrew Warhol quote. everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. yeah now I have to ask you about Travis. and um and uh the [ __ ] is her. name well who is her name um oh my God. I'm forgetting the most famous singer in. um Taylor Travis Kelsey and Tiller Swift. yeah I think he's hot and I don't even. I'm not into I mean obviously I'm not. with men is he hot he's a good-looking. guy for sure I mean he seems gorgeous.

she's beautiful but like they're very. pretty people they seem happy they seem. you know I'm not a huge fan I I don't I. don't I think she's very talented but. it's not I've never been like a I've. never been like Head Over Heels me too. because she's too it's I know her it's. too positive yeah it's. fine yeah I it's all good I need to be. like I'm dying in the corner slit in my. wrist yeah that's why the '90s were. awesome man yeah weren't the 9s great.

amazing every song was like I killed you. you killed me we killed each other in. the. kitchen every song in the 90s I stab my. mother I stab my father my kids are. dying and I never felt. better that was why the '90s were great. burn me alive in the kitchen burn me. alive in the temple of hell that's what. I want I want those [ __ ] back those. [ __ ] Fiona apples and Tracy botoms.

and Alanis. Moret people that were just like I drank. a beer and CR my crashed my car into a. wall yeah you looked at me with eyes of. hatred in the. morning my daddy you di with the guns in. your head yeah and now every song is. like we were sitting on your porch and. we were drinking that tea that your. mother made we were sitting in my old.

car I missed that car everything's. nostalg miss that car everything's. nostalgic everyone is so broken all. these whole arist Tor is a bunch of. broken people that want to relive summer. camp at Camp onandaga when they first. heard this crap I just can't I just want. like I was alone when I was born and. I'll be alone when I die when I. die I please kill me please my baby kill.

me St me in the. throat now it's like my mother the bond. that we have is so simple simple like. the honey and the. tree it's like it's also like very like. I get it cuz it's like the 80s are back. cuz we went too crazy yeah but it's too. positive everyone wants to die now it's. not real it's too positive it is very. like can you imagine singing like that.

about horrible there's war in the Middle. East we're all going to. [Music]. die I think now and I've I've discussed. this with people my theory is that this. is the Revenge of the basic right now. right like the basic [ __ ] and it's not. a gender thing I know a lot of guys that. are basic [ __ ] too so don't give me. that what do you mean by that meaning. it's the live laugh love of ug boot. wearing kind of.

Nashville burn it all down burn like. it's like very basic kind of heavily. sedated somewhat medicated which is fine. but like you know what I mean it's like. very. basic like like kind of white women. energy like offended at everything but. not really and then also like very basic. there it is there it is Starbuck yeah. yeah it's like Starbucks it's like the. Tik toks too yeah it's just very basic I.

I think that people like that now are a. Ascendant yeah and the culture is. reflecting that because we went through. this traumatic nightmare hell of Co. right yeah where we understand coming. through that people the. basic has back is back in a big way it. has to be because everyone's traumatized. every podcast now is like two girls and. it's called avocados in my. [ __ ] and it's out dating that's hot by. the.

way wrong with it but it's just like. it's two women who discuss dating for 30. 36 hours a week and they're like oh my. God I just tell them like if they don't. call me back I'm like don't try me again. because like I'm not going to be ghosted. you know what I mean it's. really right it's that it's that it's. like you know it's like you know it's. like it's like welcome to bathroom talk. I'm Sarah and this is.

shaa and we're here we have, 1500 hours. of content on our patreon if you want to. subscribe where we discuss what it's. like to get fisted and then have to meet. the guy's parents an hour later and it's. like I can tell he's smelling his fist. every time at the restant I'm like so. uncomfortable. fisted we're going on a live tour it's. called bathroom talk live get those. Vapes and those cigarettes prop open the. window we're ditching biology and.

they're billionaires by the way selling. AR billionaires they are billionaires. but it's the Revenge of the basic and. God bless them and God love them we love. them we love them we love them and it's. just the Revenge of the as somebody who. looks at culture and finds it. interesting it's the kind of the basic. thing has returned you know what's nice. though they like as play yes yeah of. course one positive thing about it great. thing that the ass has opened up yeah.

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BBS you live in the BBS speaking of ass. do you like the BBS do you like the. suburbs I I do I like the greenery I. like The Lawns the you know I like if. you didn't have the kiddos would you. move in the city or no uh at this point. yes because I miss being in the city and. I miss most of my friends live in the. city and it's just more comfortable for. me but I would never you know I can't. wait for my kids me eventually yes but. like you know do you like LA or you hate.

it I don't hate La at all I love going I. I'd only uh I'd live there to like film. something for six months but I couldn't. live there full-time now why does. everyone say that well because I am such. a New York I grew up in New Jersey in my. blood I'm not a long Islander I live. there but I'm really J long Islanders. can transition to La I know I'm not a. live there but I'm not a long long. Islanders for whatever reason can do it. cuz it's it's the BS love Jersey we love. the BBS and La is just the BBS so you.

can do it I me people suck there but. people suck where I'm from right it's a. lot of shitty people I know where you're. from you know where I'm from I know it. very well I live around it's very. similar to La B yeah like those jappy. girls and jappy guys and just all of us. that tried to be jappy but we were. Catholics and didn't have money all of. that is in La they're just Persian I. know it's the same and then people who. want to be per it's the same thing right. I mean I love the weather in La is. absolutely perfect it can be yeah yeah I.

just I love it there and I have a ton of. friends there yeah but I also would buy. a big house in the in the birkar or. something in the mountains like that's. also M sure well that's just a lesbian. move no it's not a Le I'm not that kind. of lesbian man like beaches and deserts. lesbians do like farms in mountains am I. I'm not am I a farm lesbian no I'm not. saying that I mean I wouldn't even know. what the [ __ ] I don't even know every. time we go to Whitney Cummings house all. she does is promise there's going to be. Mega celebrities and it's always just. Melissa Arrid and there's nothing wrong. with that yeah but it's always just.

Melissa Arrid and and horrible food. really Whitney always brings in some. woman Chef who's wearing wearing like. horse leather and and has a big. Instagram presents and then like makes. the worst food ever and I'm just I go. and eat Melissa A's [ __ ] just so I can. saate myself that's how bad it is no. it's never good Whitney's never but. Whitney has a gorgeous house a [ __ ]. amazing house but she never kills it.

with the food yeah no I'm not that she. doesn't eat I'm not that kind of they. eat through a needle these people at a. certain price point in La certain a come. P eat through the needle I get it yeah. but I'm not that kind of lesbian at all. where I would want it but I like it as. like the second home kind of you know go. on the weekends that kind of I always. see you in like a an inner ring suburb. like a suburb that's like close to the. city you get in do what you want that's. my thing I I grew up in New Jersey in. South Orange it's it's kind of nice it.

is kind of nice to get out it is I just. like space I don't like feeling confined. but the only way I would live in the. city again and this might sound gross. but I'm sorry it's the truth I'm not. going to lie is to have a big apartment. I can't live in a tiny I've done it I. did it for years and I'm older now I. can't live in a [ __ ] tiny little. apartment I I just can't no I know and I. was very fat when I did so I would get. stuck in the apartment and sometimes but. I have to scissor my way out you know. what I mean it was nothing wrong with. that you know it was I was I lived in I.

was enormous and I would live in. seriously just a room with like that's. it was crazy it's tough because. everything is so expensive now it's so. [ __ ] crazy and it doesn't bear any. resemblance to reality yeah you're like. how in God's name are people paying for. any of it and then you realize they're. not it's a lot of laundered money. foreign money oligarchs billionaires. right you told me. too didn't you all La too it's all the. same thing you look at you look at the.

price of everything and it go way too. much money for and then you look at. incomes you're like who's making this. money I know who is making the money who. can buy a $14 million second home in. Malibu it's a beach house no one lives. there year round 14 million second home. yeah and then you start looking at all. these rich people go oh they own every. it's like a tiny fra a small section of. people own everything yeah. I've done fine and I own things too.

people GNA yell at me now they go you. own a few and you've worked your ass off. I've worked but it's like nothing I have. is as nice as as what I would want and. that's the real tragedy truly no I mean. it's truly most of us want yeah and I. you know you also like you don't still. have a place in Austin do you I do I. rented it out to a man who screams I. hired uh a woman who's uh a person she. takes care of my properties is that the. woman in Florida no it's a woman you.

know you actually know this woman I'm. not going to say her name on the podcast. but I think I know who it is you know. who it is yeah she's very good and. responsible at that stuff but he's. torturing her every day oh no he calls. her every day and he goes uh I don't. understand are you guys gonna like do. the uh are you going to renovate the oh. get rid of him yeah he goes are you. going to renovate the uh the playhouse. back out back and you go that's a dog. kennel it's not a playhouse I bought it. from someone they had a Rottweiler he.

lived in the in that and it's not a play. house playing in it his kid's like a. baby so I'm like if you want to do that. if you want to make that a playhouse you. you you can do that God Bless but I'm. not going to make it a play like this is. absurd oh that's crazy so we it's a. crazy tenant who's making her life a. living hell and then she calls me I mean. we pay her obviously but I feel bad cuz. she calls me well why can't you get rid. of him if if he's that well a lease oh. okay and he's paying I know he's.

probably so you can. complain you just got to pay I mean the. things he wants are just not realistic. right how long does he have a lease for. two years Jesus yeah wow two years but I. sold my house in La just sold just. closed yeah oh wow a beautiful home but. it was you know there's a lot of. geological issues where I was in Laurel. Canyon that's where my step brother. lives mudslide took out malland drive. there's a lot of geograph There's issues.

There's issues there there's no issues. in Hampton's none none zero Hampton's is. great and your house is beautiful there. yeah there's other parts of the country. that are there are no issues there's. other parts of LA if I get a house again. in La down the road it'll be by the. beach or in in in the in a flat section. I mean look at the mudslide that's down. the block from my house really. yeah that took out the road wow they. just put the road back the winters in.

look at that that's down the block the. winters in LA are getting so [ __ ]. crazy that we're having this in Laurel. Canyon is the worst place to live it's. all mud Hills it's not like mountains. it's like mud Hills yeah Zack lives. right where what where oh well it. doesn't matter anyway I was I was up but. I'm done now so you can go kill the. people that live there now you're not. going to kill me I'm not going to be. there it doesn't matter to me I'm gone. if you're trying to kill me you you know. it's not going to happen there I'm out. of there so when you go you just stay at. a hotel Hills Hotel love it it's the.

best and then eventually I'll get. something I'll get something down the. road but I want to be flat I want to be. on flat land I would not I honestly driv. but I don't yeah I want out I get. nauseous every time I drive up there I. want to live like a Persian in the. Beverly Hills Flats I want the white. couches and like crystal chandeliers I. want to wear a burka and I want to. convert to Islam and I just want to be. like that guy love wearing a burka cuz. then I can [ __ ] my face under it and no. one sees no one this is what I kind of.

want I kind of want. to who's that fat chick from uh the uh. selling the shaza sunset MJ that fatty. boom BTY where's MJ from selling Sunset. that's gessa gessa is uh on OIC she. weighs 18 pounds get the fatty MJ. because that's why's not on. OIC everybody's on it right now there. right there we're doing yeah that that's. the story I'm gonna dress she's chubs.

but look look to the right that's chubby. for La that's not chubby well I. understand she has huge tits this is. what I want to dress like and go to the. left go to the left her the second. picture in the second picture in up. right there make that big this is this. is how I want to dress like her that's. exactly I want to dress that's how I. want my hair to be I want to have a long. hair I want you to come I want to be. trans I'm not going to take off my dick. but this is what you're going to see if. I I get that's my perfect body La that's. it if I saw you like that I would laugh.

so hard I would throw up I know that's. what I want that's the. goal I'm not a canyon person I want to. be by the beach or I want to be like in. the in the suburbs in like Beverly Hills. I don't like this Canyon life I don't. like where people from La pretend to be. Cowboys I understand look at the picture. with the gold her boobs can you please. look how big the boobies are oh my God. what is that she's something else is. that a trophy I don't know who that is. she's got some real I have never seen. anything like that she's serious God.

bless. her that looks like the platter my. grandmother left me when she. died I've never seen boobs like I mean. they're just very condensed and like. thick so horny I love it so much I love. the uh do you like boobs I don't mind. them yeah I mean they're kind of like a. food Morgan and Morgan is America's. largest personal injury law firm and. it's 2024 it's time to talk about.

something important if you are injured. by the negligence of another you deserve. to be paid life can be crazy sometimes. and one person's negligence can result. in another settlement if you're in an. accident not calling a lawyer means you. could be leaving money on the table when. you're seriously hurt but your injury. could be worth. millions if you're ever injured you. could check out Morgan and Morgan okay. they are the biggest they've got a 100. offices Nationwide and more than a. thousand lawyers with over 20 billion. recovered from 500,000 clients Morgan. and Morgan has a proven track record of.

fighting to get you full and fair. compensation submitting an injury claim. with Morgan and Morgan is so easy this. is true I know a lot of people who use. them they're always very happy they do. not get paid unless you. collect if you're ever injured you can. check out Morgan and Morgan their fee is. free unless they win for more. information go to. forthepeople.com Tim or dial pound law. pound 529 from yourself phone that's. fthe people.com timtim or pound law.

pound 529 from your cell this is a paid. advertisement listen to this Bentley CEO. say says low sales are from emotionally. sensitive clients not wanting to show. off nice cars in recession I don't. believe that I don't either I don't. believe that that sounds like a real. interesting way to like justify the soft. numbers yeah oh now they care now. they're they're upset maybe they think. they're going to be stolen maybe they. think the cars are going to be stolen. but this idea that like people are. sensitive about driving a nice car.

during the recession doesn't make any. sense first of all there's always a. recession when has there not been a. recession there's been a recession my. whole life always poor people but I've. never there's never been a time there. hasn't been a recession since I was born. yeah there's always something happening. yeah and and do you think anyone gives a. [ __ ] what people think about what car. they're driving no no they don't these. people do you think a rich person's like. I'm going to get a Camry so no one feels. uncomfortable no one feels that way. wasps do it out in the Hamptons they. drive beaters cuz they're like gazillion.

they're billionaires but like regular. rich people absolutely not absolutely. not they don't care but it's just funny. there's some guy at Bentley who's like. we gotta give somebody we got to give. somebody a justification for why people. aren't I think it's a lot of its crime. people are worried about like their car. with totally [ __ ] with yep that's what. they're worried about you're totally. right and I just think people aren't. into them that much anymore yeah people. aren't into maybe nicer cars right but I. think really they're not just not as.

popular that's maybe what it is yeah I. really. do I'd rather even though our customers. can still afford our cars there was a. level of emotional sensitivity that. slowed down demand complete lie yeah. people are just too angry at their. parents so they're not buying well. there's still by the way I see a ton of. I have a Bentley and I see tons of. Bentley in Miami and Beverly Hills and. the NorthShore of Long Island there's. Bentley's I see I see them all the time. on Long Island but a lot of people have. electric cars cuz gas is [ __ ] stupid. I was thinking that when you every time.

I fill up in La I go this is kind of. dumb to have mhm this is kind of stupid. have you ever had an electric car no. yeah I don't like them I don't either. they don't feel good inside I feel like. teachers drive them I know yeah and I. hate teachers I um I feel like I'm on. the ground when I'm in them that's right. yeah it just doesn't feel great it. doesn't feel like you're being taken. care of I feel I don't in an electric. car how do you you have aing you're a.

mother how are the children and the. teachers and the the college and the. craziness and how is it out there well. my oldest is going to college and I'm a. little freaked out by the whole thing it. just seems so intense right now just. it's like so I don't know it's like what. is happening can kids just go to college. and have a great time I had the time the. best time in my life was when I went to. col I went University of Maryland she'll. have a great time no she will cuz she's. that's who she is I think she'll have a. great time but yeah I think I think the.

pressures that are are are different now. than they were yeah I just want them to. be kids like just there used to be a. pressure where it was like I got to. figure out how to earn money and make a. life for myself that pressure doesn't. exist anymore cuz none of these kids. think about that but now there's a. pressure where they're like I got to I. got to like live my dreams know what my. dreams are live them. self-actualize be mentally healthy. except my Tik Tok tells me I have 10. mental problems I may or may not have I.

know I got to make sure I'm being a good. person I got to have the right opinions. I got to be with the right people it's. hard there's a lot of [ __ ] going on that. I think pulls kids in a lot of different. directions I also think they know too. much and and they're and they're seeing. so much online and like when we when I. sorry I'll talk for myself when I was. growing up I really literally had no. idea what the [ __ ] was going on in the. world and it was better that way cuz I. wasn't mature enough to understand. really what was happening I wasn't. educated enough to know what was. happening and I I I glad I didn't know a.

lot I really didn't much it was it was. way I knew there was like a war going on. somewhere but I I didn't really. understand it and I I it would have. affected me too much I was too immature. that was the War of 1812 so your your. parents did communicate that to you that. we were still trying to hold on to the. country we're we were dating ourselves I. want you to know I just want it back by.

the way was there a better decade jenko. jeans Big Jeans coffee house with big. Fishbowl siiz. mochaccinos you slunk down in big purple. chairs and you listen to an angry white. woman scream about her trauma with a. guitar just screaming and banging oh. yeah all you do is lie all you do is lie. to me and they would all do that they'. go yeah. me yeah you don't even know who I.

am why do you think I'm available when. all I want to do is hurt. myself I killed myself four times last. night for you for. you there was no better time you would. smoke a joint in Long Beach Long Island. and you would sit in a coffee house and. you would listen I'm sorry I'm still on. that I died last night I died today I'll.

die tomorrow cuz I'm going to Hill yeah. I mean it's just like I miss that kind. of angst that kind of little dark kind. of everybody everyone everyone you knew. was kind of. wicking every girl was kind of wicked. they had a healthy everyone was suicidal. yeah everyone was suicidal everyone had. a healthy Rel relationship with the dark. arts yeah it was like Harry Potter.

before Harry Potter oh yeah it was just. a fun decade Kurt koban friends Frasier. Seinfeld diners that served good food. people didn't act like every job wasn't. like you know you get on a train now in. Long Island you're you're you used to be. able to go like you barely had a ticket. you're like oh I don't have a ticket. they're like whatever they didn't care. now every job acts like they're an. extension of the Department of Homeland. Security I know you walk into a frozen. yogurt place you're like uh how can I. help you it's like hey everyone is. enraged I've been doing a whole bit.

about that I'm like I didn't force you. to get this [ __ ] job can you not take. this out on me everyone's mad enraged. I'm like can I have whole milk I'll get. it soon like I'm mom why are you talking. to me like it just during the '90s no. one took anything seriously everybody. was a slacker and embraced kind of that. Gen X who cares mentality now everybody. is both at the same time incredibly. committed and Incredibly incompetent oh. my they're they're very committed to.

this job that they don't know how to do. and are angry that they have so it's. very strange they're like very official. and also have no idea what's going. on they're like I'm the mayor of. Starbucks but they can't foam the milk. and they right they're incompetent but. they're like uh you need a code like I. go near the bathroom they're like you. need a code I'm like hey I'm National. Security adviser relax you get fris to. go into the bathroom insane and dude in. the '90s like people would just kind of.

kind of not care what you did yeah they. didn't really care is everyone's filled. with fear now I'm serious it's true. they're seeing too much oh my God this. all came down because show that They. confiscated the gavl now this is Morgan. and Morgan the [ __ ] the godamn it. What's happen this gavl Morgan and. Morgan is the America's largest personal. injury law firm and they've done the. right thing by sponsoring the show with. this gavl that says Size Matters show.

the gentleman no show him enjoying. himself as he confiscates the gavl he's. famous now his friends will tell him he. confiscated the gavl so all we have is. this wait he took your gavl away he took. the. gavl because it it's a weapon and we're. supposed to have it on the desk for. Morgan and Morgan America's largest. personal injury Law Firm looks like. Caitlyn Jenner's dick yes it is they. also confiscated. that but it is I just miss that kind of. sensibility where people every day.

wasn't the most important day of. everyone's. life I hate to say it and it might sound. like I'm all and I'm on Tik Tok and and. all of it 72 like I'm on it constant all. day and night I think it's amazing and I. laugh at it constantly but it's killing. our society it's bad it's dead it's not. even killing it it's we're gone right. gone what is it is it just the constant. B cuz I'm not on it I so I don't have. followers on it I don't care about it. I'm I'm on it I have a million follow.

it's bad I know you're it there it's bad. I mean I love my fans and I'm putting up. Clips you know crowd work because I put. I did a special for who everyone why are. you put oh she only does Crow I'm like. because I'm not gonna put my [ __ ]. material up you to see it not I'm not. going to make money you're an idiot um. but anyway the point is is that. everyone's seeing too much it's so. depressing it's like yes some of it's. funny but there and and a lot of it is. know it's it's not real they're not. educated they're they're seeing one side.

they're seeing one side and it's a lot. of it's to get you um Angry go exactly. it's again it's addicting I I I get. addicted to it% lot it's very addictive. it's very addictive but it is a. weird it's a weird thing to constantly. be stimulated yes by this app by this. algorithm that's job is to keep you. engaged and the only way to keep people. engaged is to either entertain them or. piss them off and it's much harder to.

entertain people than it is than it is. to piss them off 100 so you can easily. piss them off think about I mean. everything when we were growing up was. conversations it was talking to someone. that's right everything is on the phone. now everything right or everything winky. face literally we covered this horrible. story in Arizona um that a kid was. killed by these other kids at a party. and they all went on Snapchat and Tik. Tok and talked about killing the kid are. you kidding me I swear to God so they.

all they all have they all have these. you know I went down there and I met the. family of the kid it was pretty crazy. you did yeah they they're great people. but God they killed this kid but the the. thing is these kids go on. Snapchat and start talking about it and. all right all right come on they go on. Snapchat and can you find the snap find. the snap and they literally write I just. killed a kid I think I'm too.

strong they literally he wrote this. they're writing things honestly one of. the sickest things I've ever heard well. it's sociopath you can see how we are. creating a generation of sociopaths. that's what I mean I have a whole bit. online where nobody thinks the kids are. the future everybody's just concerned. with AI we've given up on the kids. politicians don't even talk about kids. anymore they used to every politician. used to just talk about kids no one does. everyone talks about AI if you even. bring up kids people go who cares what. about the AI yeah I hit a kid and this. kid hit his head and then they kicked.

his head in and then I got word he died. I don't know like they're. communicating on these apps one of them. wrote I killed a kid I'm I guess I'm too. strong it's we're creating a generation. of people on with this constant stuff. we're creating there it is wait there it. is yeah but there's a there's a I don't. know if they have that but they that. message in the police report where he.

goes they all have these and they're all. obviously they got warrants for all this. information that came out of Snapchat. and all this stuff but it just shows. you what's going on these kids were. randomly attacking kids and putting it. on Tik Tok Jessica they were putting. they were randomly attacking kids and. putting the beatings how old were they. 17 16 17 they're randomly attacking. people Blitz style attacks six or seven. kids would attack a kid with brass. knuckles hospitalized. film it and put it on Tik Tok this is. how crazy it is so there are a lot of.

problems with the social media diet were. feeding these kids that's what I'm. saying and what and what they're because. when we grew up people handled their. anger somewhat differently and even if. they fought it wasn't they weren't and. they weren't trying to kill someone they. wer trying to kill someone and they. weren't filming it and putting it on an. app which is psychotic it is I know bad. it's real I watch fights sometimes and.

I'm like why did I just watch see that's. what I'm saying I. it it's people in our generation would. just go to a coffee house and go I spent. last night. alone did you hear me crying cuz I spent. last night. alone you think you want him but you. really want me I'll prove you right come. to my. home I won't let her live if you don't. come. back I live on a couch I have a.

handshake agreement for rent my credit. is shot it's it's but that's the way. people used to live people used to live. Jessica Kiren you're one of the only. people I enjoy having his guest because. you're funny well you're an insanely. funny human being and it's a joy to have. you well you're. brilliant. hysterical songs you're I'm not jking. you off Tim no please all right I will. I'm really at this point I I just not.

working it's just not working my. relationship anyway so I love you not. only are you brilliant but you are. you're so [ __ ] funny I don't laugh. you know I really don't laugh a lot of. comedians I can't bear to watch most of. them well I appreciate that but you're. so knowledgeable I really you're so. smart you know everyone says that that's. a fan of yours when I'm on the road yeah. people are always like I can't stop. listening cuz he's so well I don't know. if that's true but that's very nice that. they say that I think what's more. impressive now is sort of my commitment.

to social justice and kind of raise. elevating issues and things like that. that's what I find impressive about. myself currently is sort of the you know. what I've been doing and they kind of. focusing on the local issues trying to. bring them to the top again that was. what that would be my surmise but most. Comics are just like it's that's what I. said about you being a giver because. most Comics are like I'm funny I want. more and more and more and more and I. think if you can make a difference I. give so much to people I know but that's. will drive my Bentley back to the. Hamptons and have that experience.

because I can't do it I have to get on a. plane Jessica kirson tell but it's nice. for him it's a two-hour drive and you. can stop and have lunch on the way and. you're young and he's young so to drive. a Bentley to the Southampton like that's. not nice that's a nice thing to do for. someone that's amazing Jessica tell. everyone where they can find you you got. a million on Tik Tok you just have all. these followers everyone loves you. you're touring your people are buying. tickets they're enjoying it yeah I'm I. you can go to Jessica kson.com k k i RS. o n and I just filmed a Hulu special.

which I think is coming out in December. and um I have a Tik Tok Jessica kerson. I'm on YouTube um Jessica kerson comedy. like my social media is amazing I'm on. Instagram Facebook I post videos every. day of you know of my my crowd work and. my [ __ ] yeah listen my thank you and go. and follow her and and before we get out. of here timan comedy.com for all my. tickets my new special Amy Schumer. presents Tim Dylan live in.

Gaza we're selling tickets right now get. on it good night.