Donald Trump & Cracker Barrel | The Tim Dillon Show #394

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim. Dillon show. Uh recording minutes, maybe hours after Trump. convicted on all 34 counts of falsifying. business records in the hush money. trial with Stormy Daniels, the. um. porn star that Trump. uh. was plowing and he. paid off this woman.

with some dirty money. And this has been the trial that he's. been going through. I. full disclosure live a few blocks away. I have a home a few blocks away from the. I don't live there. I don't live. anywhere. So, I'm going to say that immediately. because that People all People always. say to me, "Where do you live?" It's. like. Why do you What is that?

What is that? It's like a crazy question. People go, "Where do you live?". Um I'm like, "I don't know, man. I'm figuring it out. Like, I'm figuring it out.". Um. but Trump, I have a condo that I. occasionally go to. a few blocks away from the courthouse. where they delivered this conviction, which was not a huge surprise because it. is New York. And.

Trump was probably guilty. I don't think. anyone. imagines that he wasn't guilty. I think. here's why people are upset about this, and here's why. I think ultimately this helps Trump. This is my analysis. Most people know Trump's kind of a. criminal. He's been open about it. That's kind of why people like him. He. goes, "I game the system. I'm rich. I. get away with [ __ ] I do what I want. I.

pay people off." He said that. He came. out and said it. He's like, "I pay. people off. I play the game.". That was very refreshing. Dave Chappelle. did that monologue on SNL talking about. how. groundbreaking it was that Donald Trump. like came out and was like, "Hey, yeah. You know why I know how corrupt. everything is? Because I'm the guy. I'm one of those people who's been. doing it for years.

I get it. So, I don't think anyone's I don't think. there's anyone out there that's like, "Would Trump have paid off a porn star? Would he have done that? Would Trump. have. I think everyone knows that. I don't. think anyone cares. I don't care. I think paying people off's fine, to be. honest, to shut up. I don't think that's a big problem. morally. Of all the ways you could get. someone to shut up,

you have killing them, threatening them, uh blackmailing them, paying them off is by far the best way. to get them to shut up. It is by far the least of all the things. in our political system. I mean, the three dudes at Boeing who were like, "Hey, maybe there's a crack in the.

Goodbye. They're all gone. How nice would it have been. if they just got hush money? It's not. even that. like. no one's horrified that someone paid. somebody else off to shut up. I think. people don't like the idea. that in an incredibly corrupt system. where you have almost everyone that you.

are aware of in the political sphere in. this country. is some kind of criminal. Everybody is some kind of criminal. It's. why they are there. We all know that. It's why they got elected in the first. place. They're some kind of criminal. Everybody in the political system at a. high level at one point or another has. looked the other way or has paid some.

kind of hush money to somebody. It's just a fact. I mean, everybody. has done it. And we all know that. And the people that don't do it and the. people that refuse to do it are flushed. down the toilet. They get rid of them. They get rid of them. It's just the way things work.

And I think people get angry. at what they view. as an inherent. like contradiction. when you have. the federal government. and this now the state government, but. this is the federal government in New. York. I believe this is federal, I believe. Uh, but it also could have been the. state. I'm unsure.

It was federal. It was in federal court. Yeah, federal. That's what I thought cuz. that's where. the condo that I occasionally. bump into is. People are wondering, they're going, "This is a politically motivated. prosecution.". And. it doesn't mean that Trump is innocent. It means that. there's zero interest. in finding out any of this information. about any of the other people in our.

system. We don't care. We don't. see any of these things being applied. evenly. There's zero interest. In fact, when the. Epstein docs came out and Clinton's name. is all over them, the the whole media. they were basically like, "Listen, yes, he's in all of these documents. Yes, he's mentioned 50 times. Yes, he's been. on the plane, but that doesn't mean that.

he did anything that is wrong.". They didn't even forget legal. They were basically like, "This guy is. innocent." The media's job when the. Epstein docs came out was to go out and. say nobody who's mentioned in these docs. did anything wrong. They're all. innocent. They're all innocent. And And again, it's like go sell that to your wife. Go sell that. to anybody. that you're mentioned 50 times in the. deposition of a human trafficking.

victim. So, there's zero interest in that. There's zero interest in getting to the. bottom of that. Nobody really wants to. get to the bottom of that. Nobody really. goes like, "Well, that's interesting. What's going. on over there? Why are all these politi-. Where Where are all these tapes? What. happened? I don't get it.". All these people that were uh being. recorded, where are those tapes? Who are. those people? Nobody really cares about that. Nobody's. really. interested in that. And that's just one. example. of all of the things people could be.

interested in. Nobody's really. cares, but this case. is explicitly brought. for the purposes. of trying to get this guy on something. Because. his popularity. is amazing. considering all of the issues he's had. And there doesn't seem to be any way to.

stop that. These trials, these. cases that they're throwing at him, you know, the entirety of his presidency. was Russia. And none of that panned out. You know, this idea that he was an asset. of Russia. He was installed. by the Russian government. You know, none of that worked. You couldn't get him. James Comey, Robert Mu- Mueller, all. these Muller, whatever. All these guys,

all these special prosecutors, nobody was able to really deliver the. goods. So, that's where it started. It started that. he was an agent government who got. elected in an election that was. manipulated by that government, and he's. now in the Oval Office, and he's. carrying out the agenda of Vladimir. Putin and Russia in America. That's how. it started. This is a Manchurian. candidate. This is a guy that's in.

there, and we don't know how this. happened. This happened because Russia. went on Facebook and made everybody's. aunt racist, and then Trump got elected, and now he's doing the bidding of right. it was the beginning of it. That was the beginning. And that went on for years, and there. was all these cronies, and everyone he. was around are all they're all beholden. to Russia and Russian money.

And that was the narrative, and and. there were people that were deeply. skeptical of that on the left and the. right, by the way. The far left, not the mainstream left. They were with it. And even a lot of the mainstream right. kind of went along with it. They were. kind of like, well, maybe this is. Now, we finally it it's years later. and what we finally got the guy on is. that he paid off. a porn star.

to keep quiet. He paid off a porn star. You know, again, if somebody is that like a a black mark. on his character? Isn't that his character? Isn't that. Donald Trump's character? Like, what. would you think Donald Trump would be. doing? If you didn't even know Donald. Trump. and a guy who walked by you in a. pinstripe suit with golden hair on 5th.

Avenue and someone pointed to you and. said, "That guy paid off a porn star.". You wouldn't even respond with words. You just like take a sip of your coffee. and smile because it's exactly what you. think that person would do. I don't think anybody's shocked by that. I don't think anybody's like. Now, I guess. I guess this might have an effect on the. election. I don't know. People said it What I was watching Karl. Rove,

who is uh. George W. Bush's. guy. He was his guy. His They called him the architect, Karl. Rove. And Karl Rove was basically like, a lot. of the polls that are out say people. will be less likely to vote for Trump. if he's convicted. Um. but Karl Rove also said if he's. exonerated, he's Teflon. Um but he was convicted. I don't know.

if. this is going to have a huge. impact. on the election. I know that he's going. to be sentenced. Rarely with this charge would you get. prison. I don't know if he's going to get. prison. I don't know if they're going to. try to make an example out of him. I think if they put him in prison, you you're going to be looking at. you know, again, the the his his website. is crashed because of donations.

in the last hour. People are like. again, this is galvanized the hardcore. Trump people. And if he goes to prison, the Secret. Service goes too. I read this earlier. that they will be protecting him in. prison. And as our friend, the great Ray. Comfort, said he might run the whole. operation from the can. Like the the movie Donnie Brasco, when. the guy goes, "Rusty's running the whole. thing from the can.". I got Brooklyn, Sunny Red's got Little. Joey. I mean, that might be it. Trump.

might be the president of the United. States from prison. He might just run the country. from prison. He will lose no supporters if that. happens. He will gain many support. You are going to see, I think, a surge. in support. for him. A lot of people in this country have. been to jail. A lot of them.

A lot of people in this country have. been to jail. And I'm watching them. on social media, they kind of like there's By the way, I'm telling you right now, if you just want to look at cool, if you want to look at who's the cooler. candidate, the the guy who doesn't know where he is. or the guy who's maybe doing like 2.

months in jail. the guy who's doing 2 months in jail. is the cooler candidate. no question. And Trump's going to go in there and. he's going to act like Nelson Mandela. He's going to be his version. of Nelson Mandela. in prison. This is going to be the best. thing. that has ever happened to him and to me. really, but also. Tim, let's watch some of these videos. This is outside the courthouse today.

Many people. very emotional. Here's the thing about. Trump. People he's really in their blood. They. this is a religious experience for these. people. Let's take a listen. Jesus is the Lord. Godly. Y'all real. Thank you. Thank you. If you're not watching this, this is. just Asians in MAGA hats crying.

I just wish he was exonerated. I just. want to see happy Asians. You know what I mean? Like I don't want. to see Asian women crying like older. Asian ladies in MAGA hats crying. How. fun would it have been to just see them. happy? A few blocks from my. occasional pied-à-terre. It would have. been nice to see them. Any other uh we.

got some of what people getting uh angry. there? People This was before, yeah. This. Are people uh. getting uh violent or what's going on? Let's go up to blacks for Trump. Yeah. Let's see what they're what. they're up to. I am the Elemite. and I'm here to defend. Trump and they're trying to they're. using the fact that they say that he's a.

racist to do all these lies and call him. a a treasonous man when in actuality. they're accusing him of what they are. guilty of. So, my job is to. reveal the darkness that is now trying. to. overtake the light. big By the way, I think convicting him. of this is a big mistake. I think this. is going to go the other way. I think. he's going to galvanize supporters. I. think this was a big mistake. We're. going to listen here to Robert De Niro. who took it upon himself.

a day before the verdict to just have a. press conference. and talk about Trump. and everybody's shouting at him like, "Fuck you.". De Niro, you know, is a big part of this. whole area, TriBeCa. The lore is the legend is that Robert De. Niro was training in an empty warehouse. in TriBeCa for the movie Raging Bull. and he looked around at TriBeCa and he. goes, "God, this area is great. Why. isn't there anything down here? What's. going on?" And it was all these empty.

kind of abandoned warehouses. And then they he opened up Nobu and. TriBeCa Grill and. he is a big real estate owner down here. and you know, and he's become very. passionate about politics for whatever. reason. He's He's He's 80? Yeah, he's up there. He's 80. He's got a. kid a lot of kids now, right? Young. kids. He just had a kid. a child, yeah. He just had a child at 80. years old. So, that's who we're dealing with. By. the way, they are All of these people. are Trump. All of these people. this guy just had a 1-year-old child at.

80. And he's going out as he's the sane. rational. voice of reason. The octogenarian new dad. Robert De Niro, everyone. YOU ARE GANGSTERS. YOU ARE GANGSTERS. You're washed up. [ __ ] you. You [ __ ]. DE NIRO. GET OUT OF HERE, YOU LITTLE PUNK. YOU'RE. SALTY. YOU'RE A NOBODY. YOUR MOVIE. SUCKS. YOU'RE TRASH. WHY WOULD YOU AFTER.

A great By the way, after like what is he trying to do here? What is this guy thinking is going to. happen like. actors sometimes just believe they have. the powers that. the people writing the scripts for them. What does he think is going to happen? Like he's going to go down to this. courthouse, he's going to give this. rousing speech, and then all the people. in the MAGA hats are going to turn. around and go, "YOU KNOW, ROBERT DE. NIRO'S RIGHT. WE'VE BEEN HAD. TRUMP'S A.

CON. BOBBY DE NIRO'S RIGHT. That guy was in Casino. He's the guy. from Goodfellas.". So, they're all telling De Niro, "Your. movie sucks. You're washed up." Which by. the way, it is a dose of of, you know, he needs. to hear that. Everyone needs to hear. "You're washed up." It's a it's it's a. fun insult uh to throw at like an older. person cuz it's invariably true.

There's nothing. I wanted to go down there and yell very. specific, "WHAT DID YOU DO ABOUT MY. FATHER? DO YOU NEED MONEY?". SO, you have Robert De Niro getting. literally thrown around by the MAGA. people, just totally getting. trashed by these people. There's like a ton of cops. protecting Robert De Niro from the MAGA. By the way, people are getting like lit on fire in.

the subway, thrown on the tracks. There was a machete attack at the Times. Square McDonald's. And all of these. police are on like detail, Robert De. Niro detail, protecting this old guy. who's just screaming and yelling. outside of a courthouse. Robert De Niro. is not involved in the case. Want to. remind everybody, Trump did not pay off Robert De Niro. Robert De Niro is not an employee of the. federal government. He has zero reason. to be there. And then the cops are all.

like helping Robert De Niro across the. street. as he gets. totally pilloried by the Trump people. It is fun though. You know, if you've. ever read Bonfire of the Vanities, one of my favorite books. I'm a lifelong. New Yorker. I love Tom Wolfe. And that book is about a banker. I. believe it's Sherman McCoy. Yeah, and he. is driving through the Bronx and he hits. a young African-American child and then.

thinks he's gotten away with it. But he hasn't gotten away with it. They. trace it back to him. because he makes a mistake. when the police come and. ask him. When the police come and ask him about. his car, he. you know, makes this kind of. uh mistake. He says the car is not in. the building that he's having it. uh. tuned up or something.

And the police then find the car. It's. cut pretty routine how it happens. They weren't You know, he could have. gotten away with it probably had he not. made that mistake. Had he just showed. them the car. There wasn't really. scratches on the car or anything. The point is it The book culminates in a. trial where you have all these New York. characters just all over the place. It becomes a big civil rights issue. You. have that. You have this guy's life. spins out of control. It's Tom Wolfe's. best book. The guy's life spins out of control. He's this, you know, master of the.

universe, Wall Street banker, lives on. Park Avenue, has a wife. I believe he. was cheating on her when he hit the kid. in the Bronx. And then his life just descends into. chaos. And that's kind of the vibe. of this trial a little bit. Except Tom Wolfe never would have been. able to imagine this scene. Or maybe he would have that the. president. of the United States,

Donald Trump, is being tried in a. hush-money case. with an OnlyFans model named Stormy. Daniels. But it's a very right out of Bonfire of. the Vanities thing. And outside the. courthouse you have crying Asian women. screaming. You have blacks for Trump. You have Robert De Niro, a dare I say washed-up actor who's 80. years old with a 1-year-old child and. instead of being home with that child,

he is now take he's now part of the. Biden-Harris campaign. And Robert De Niro is screaming in front. of the court. It is a scene and by the. way I witnessed some of it. On foot, I did witness some of the. scene. It does feel like New York at its best. It really does. It feels like New York. at its best. PEOPLE GOING, "FUCK YOU! YOU'RE WASHED UP! YOUR MOVIE SUCK!". HOW GREAT IS THAT? A guy with the. accent. And you know that guy loves.

Goodfellas. You know that guy doesn't mean that. That guy loves Goodfellas. That guy doesn't love Goodfellas? What. are you nuts? But he hasn't made a Goodfellas in a. while. And when that guy goes, "YOUR. MOVIE SUCK!". And these people they you know, So Donald Trump convicted I think goes. the other way. I'm going to make a. prediction that this was a grave error. Bringing this case. was a grave error. I could be wrong. Maybe I will be wrong. I do not know.

But I will tell you this, I think people. get more excited. about Trump now. than they have been. In in in. keeping with older people. who are about to leave the planet. just letting people have it. A guy I've always kind of liked. Richard Dreyfuss. goes on a rant.

at a Jaws screening. Now, every year they have this Jaws. Fest. And in the. this type of and I don't know if this is. technically Jaws Fest, but. Jaws is widely considered to be one of. the greatest movies ever made and. Richard Dreyfuss is the star. We all. know this. Richard Dreyfuss goes to a Massachusetts. theater. and is going to speak before the film.

about. reportedly the movie. So. instead, you have Richard Dreyfuss, who's again, it's like Bobby De Niro, it's like every day's a gift at that. age. Every day's a gift. And. they want to just pop off. and tell you where their heads are at. So he goes, "I wish we had this rant,

but we don't have it. Right?". There might be video. Oh, you know, cuz. they they took it down, but hold on. Yeah. See if you can find it. Oh, this is it. This is him walking out. Oh, this is great. By the way, this is a. real treat. Richard Dreyfuss in. and these people don't know what's about. to hit them. He's. This is the star of Jaws, but he's he's. he's had enough with some things. Some cultural trends and I guess this. might be it.

He's getting a big ovation from. the people. He's on a key He's got a. cane. He looks good. But he's getting ready. You can feel it. You can feel it he's getting ready. to unleash. And unleash he does. He's only He's about to unleash here.

Stop this for a second. They had to They. had to issue an apology to people. By. the way, if you see someone over certain. age speak, the theater should never. issue an apology. You should never. apologize for an old person or an. elderly person that this is their time. now to speak. This. really it it may be a lot of things you. don't love hearing, but there should absolutely not The. theater should not engage in like a.

mea culpa for this guy. Is he speaking in this clip at all? Uh. I'm skipping to the end. Here we go. The book is called. uh. One Thought Scares Me. And it's about the fact that 50 years. ago without telling anybody. they took civics. out of the curriculum. of all public schools. which means we. we have no knowledge of who the hell we.

are. And. if we don't get it back. soon. we're all going to die. Now here what's great Here's what's. great. They're all still with him cuz. it's a general vague statement. And this. is what old people love to do, and I. just This is why I love old people. Old. people, right before the end of their. life, will always in in invariably make. some comment about how 50 years ago, 30.

years ago, 40 years without telling. anyone, they took away something that we. needed. And in this case, it's civics. And they are teaching. forms of civics, by the way. They are. teaching that. But it's hilarious. He's. like, "They're And we don't And he goes, 'If we don't get it back, we're going to. die.'" Everyone's with him cuz they're. like, "I bet he's dunking on Trump.". Like, they don't know what's coming. next. This is why old people are great.

They're unpredictable. They don't even. really know what's going to happen. He barely knows what's coming next. I'm sure that your kids are not the last. generation of Americans. And you know exactly what I'm talking. about. So, sadly, Richard Dreyfuss, we do not. have him on screen saying.

the rant. He went on an anti-trans rant. uh at the Draws uh premiere event. And we don't have him saying that, tragically, but we do have the news. story about it and the people who were. affected. People started leaving the. theater in droves, and that maybe the. reason why there isn't actual video. footage of this is that people were so. disgusted that they didn't even think to. take out their phone. They thought about. just getting out of there. Take a. listen.

Many people walked out, including myself. and my partner. Numerous other patrons. who are at the Cabot also found it. unacceptable. There were scores of. people filing down the stairs and out. onto the sidewalk. Wow. Well, that's. after he said we have some quotes from. his. He went off. From there, however, Carrey. said Dreyfuss went off targeting his. Nuts co-star Barbra Streisand. He began. to say a lot of sexist things about her, about all women. They're stupid. They.

shouldn't have any power, etc. Other accounts say that Dreyfuss accused. women of being passive, which is why the. 1987 film Nuts sucked. Then he just kept. going with homophobic and racist. comments. He insulted the Me Too. movement. Another member of the crowd. said Dreyfuss said that society quote. shouldn't be listening to some. 10-year-old who says they want to be a. boy instead of a girl. Carrey then said the atmosphere in the. theater quickly soured with many booing. the star and some walking out. "Now, now, don't turn into an angry mob.".

Dreyfuss told the crowd, according to. Carrey. "Let this guy go off. You know, the theater should not have apologized. for him. They should say Richard. came in hot. That's what they should say. They should. Richard Dreyfuss came in hot. and we have no regrets. You got to live. the way you live. He's got minutes before he leaves this. planet. Minutes.

And he wants Everybody's going to do. that at the end. There's nobody at the. end of their career who has any public. persona, like any. form of public life, anyone with access to a microphone is. going to do this. before the end. There's almost no point. to having money and being famous if at. the end of it you can't just alienate. everyone before you die. Everybody's got to get it.

He's up there screaming about Barbra. Streisand. This is. his right. It's like De Niro's right. As annoying. as they are, they are in the twilight of their life. There is nothing better than watching. people that you've adored for your. entire life come out and disgust you, disappoint you, enrage you to the point. where you're like, "GET OUT OF HERE.". THERE'S NOTHING better than that. I wish. if I have a long enough career where I'm.

in some theater right before I die, I. want to walk everybody I want everybody. to go, "What the [ __ ] was this? I used. to listen to that guy. This sucks.". "Fuck you." That's the last thing I want. to hear. The last thing I want to hear. is, "Fuck you. You suck now.". That's full circle in this country. That's having a career that comes full. circle. This story interested me. I thought this. was interesting. A Utah high school.

football teammate uh turned down a. summer job that was actually a covert. coup. attempt. I believe in like the Congo. In the African Congo. The friend of a prominent Congolese. opposition leader. And let me just say. before we go into this story, um I know that a lot of people, you. know, with the AI images of like all. eyes on Rafa and pray for Sudan, which I. have criticized because they are silly. and they look like it's a new show on.

NBC. Tuesdays at 8:00. All about Rafa. Like. it feels. even CNN CNN quoted me because it does. feel silly. Um. not to say you shouldn't be upset about. these things. We're losing focus with the Sudan and. the Congo stuff, I feel. I really do. I I can get upset about. this Palestine. You start throwing in. Sudan and the Congo, it doesn't work. I. start going, "Oh yeah, everything's. fucked." And then I just turn it all. off. I You got to focus. I can't handle.

everything. You can't be like Sudan, Congo. Like. they're now listing everything going on. on the planet. I can't. be enraged about that. Stick with. something. The friend of a prominent Congolese. opposition leader's son said he turned. down a six-figure offer. to travel there from the US as part of a. family security detail. in what turned out to be a failed coup. Marcel Malanga, the 21-year-old son of.

an eccentric coup leader, Christian. Malanga, was detained by Congolese. forces Sunday morning. along with a former classmate from their. hometown of West Jordan, Utah, after his father was killed in a. shootout while resisting arrest. His high school football teammate, Tyler. Thompson, 21, was one of the two other. Americans arrested after an ill-fated. attack on the presidential palace in. Kinshasa. Six people were dead and dozens. arrested, including three Americans, following the attack and another on the.

residence of a close ally. of President Félix. Tshisekedi. The Congolese army spokesperson, Brigadier General Sylvain Ekenge, said, "Daniel Gonzalez, a former teammate of. the two Utah residents caught up in the. foiled coup, told the Associated Press. that Marcel had offered him $50 to. $100,000 to spend 4 months in the Congo. as a security guard for his politician. father. The 22-year-old FedEx worker had. said he strongly considered it,

but said it lacked concrete details. He. ultimately declined so he could spend. the summer with his girlfriend. I feel. really sad for Tyler and Marcel, but at. the end of the day, I just can't be. grateful. I just can be grateful that I didn't go. because I'd be stuck in the same scary. situation.". That is great, by the way. Um to have. your son. have a summer job and that summer job is. overthrowing a government. Never got.

A friend of mine's father, who I've. talked about on the show before, Bud. Monster, said that. if you're just a white guy with some. money, you can kind of go, and I don't. know if that's the case with this guy. I. don't know if he's white or not. But, you can go to like these places. like Africa or South America, and you. could really like. [ __ ] around a little bit and have fun. Like, try to overthrow a government. Like, this is kind of cool for like a. summer trip that you went there. Now, it. didn't work. Certain things don't work.

But, the idea that like this guy's. trying to overthrow an African. government with his kid, and he said to. his kid's friends, "Why don't you get a. couple of your loser friends, and you can come over and try to. overthrow this government, too.". Um. it is crazy to think about that that's. his summer. I don't know what. I don't know what exactly. you learn from this. That's maybe the issue is you don't.

really learn. You learn about trusting. people. Like, if you go over there First. of all, I never. I never wanted to work as a person. That's why I do this. I I always Poor. people were always the ones that worked. You always see the poor working. They're. always fiddling and fidgeting. They're. late all the time. I was one of them for. years. They work so hard, and no one. cares. And so, I never wanted to work. I I. would never interested me. That's why I. do this. And rich people are kind of never really. working. They're always doing something.

They're always like kind of like taking. a phone call, going to a lunch. But, so I would have turned this down. immediately. They're like, "You're going. to be a security guard." I mean, I. wouldn't do that anywhere. Um and certainly not in the Congo. Like, if my best friend was like, "You know my. dad loves you. He wants you to be a. security guard in the Congo." I'd be. like, "Fuck off, man. It's the summer.". It's the summer. Like, we're not going. to I'm not going over to the African. Congo with your dad. Your dad's a nut.

But apparently some of these kids did. and now they're [ __ ] Are they still. in jail? Uh yeah, at least one of them is. This. or the So, the son and then this other. kid. this other Tyler Higby his like parents. talked to the news the other day. It was. really sad. what's going on with these. And by the. way, how do you let your kid go? My son went to the Congo. It was. supposed to be a family trip to Africa, but it turned deadly over the weekend. Rebecca Higby says her son Tyler. Thompson was invited to travel through.

several countries in Africa with his. long-time friend Marcel Milonga. My son. Tyler has been friends with Marcel for. years. They've been playing football. together. Um and every summer Marcel would go see. his dad just like any divorced couple he. would go spend summers with his dad in. Africa. Marcel is the son of Christian. Milonga, the man killed in a shootout. after an alleged attack on the Congolese. presidential palace. Higby says Milonga. was shot in front of her son and Marcel. Since then they've been trying to get.

any information about Thompson. They've. been searching online and the images. they've seen have them frightened. We. just see images and every time we see an. image my son seems more You know these. two lesbos were so excited that their. kid was going to Africa. You know they. were so excited these lesbians when he's. like, "I'm going to Africa." They were. they told everyone in the community. They told everybody in the [ __ ]. community. They were walking up and down. the streets going, "Our son's in Africa. He's in the Congo right now. Our son's.

in the Congo." They brought it up at. every party. They brought it up at every. [ __ ] bakery. They come in, "Oh yeah, we need a cake and well, our son it. won't be for our son actually. He's in. the Congo. He's in the Congo.". And they thought it was great. But you know, if you overthrow a. government you got to win. That's part of it. If you try for a. coup, you got to win. Like the when the. CIA killed President Kennedy and. installed Johnson, they succeeded.

Had they not succeeded, it wouldn't have. been good. But they were uh they. succeeded. They planned and they. executed. This guy's got a bunch of. What are they? College kids? High. school? College? Yeah, 21, 22, yeah. Or. college, okay. These got a bunch of. college kids trying to take over and. that makes me think, can you do that? Can you take over like a little small. African nation. with a bunch of college kids? Because. that's going to be the next thing. Everyone's going to be like we're we all.

got priced out of New York and LA. We. just take over a small African nation. I mean, that is really the way to be. rich. The way to be rich is to go to. Africa. That is the way to be rich. It's. like the old school way to be rich. Really. And I know that some people are. going to find this incentive culturally. But it is to to go to Africa. is the you know, everyone's like you go. to the Hamptons and Palm Beach and. Malibu. Yeah? Still laws. They're still going to tell you what to.

do. They're still going to tell you what to. do. They're still going to tell you what. to do. But if you go to Africa. and you set yourself up right, there is nothing you cannot do and. nothing you cannot have. Truly. If you. set yourself up right in Africa, you're. a warlord. You're the government. If you like I don't know I don't think I. have enough money to be an African. warlord, but I think if I you know, when you. think about it, cuz that's what this guy.

wanted to do. This guy was like, I've. been living here, but I'm not where I. want to be. I'm going to get my son and. a few of his friends and we're going to. overthrow this goddamn government. Did. they even get close? Play the rest of. this. Did they get close? Probably not. Like. wrist looks broken, nose looks broken. Miranda Thompson is Tyler's stepmother. She says Tyler was scrapbooking his. trips to Africa, showing off their visit. to Johannesburg and the restaurants they. visited in Swaziland. The last. communication he sent to his mother was.

that he loved her. But since Sunday By. the way, I bet the guy who got shot was. so charismatic. I have been led to do. crazy things by the charismatic parents. of my friends. I was in two boating. accidents with Bud Monster who I thought. was great. Um I used to drink so much. with my. friends' parents. Uh they could get you to do anything. Really. I remember I was driving home. once from a bar and I sideswiped this. parked car. I was like, "What the fuck?".

And Bud Monster Claire, my friend's. parents were in the back. They go, "Keep. going. KEEP GOING." I WAS JUST DRIVING. FAST, cigarette in my mouth. I finally. got to their house. I ran out of the car. and. ran into the back room. But these are. the types of things. that. if you're a charismatic parent, you can really convince me I wonder if. these kids These kids didn't know what. was going on till they got there. He's probably They're getting drunk. They're getting Congo drunk, which is a. different thing. They're really [ __ ].

up and he goes, "Listen, I'm going to. We're going to overthrow this. government. We're going to be kings. We're going to be kings.". And I bet there was a minute in in in. And they're all alive, right, these. kids? Uh yes, all the kids are alive. This is. a great lesson. And and and here's the. thing, they're all probably relieved. when the guy got shot cuz he was. probably coming on real strong. He was. probably very intense. The last few. hours of that guy's life were very. intense. And I've had this experience. where like the fun dad gets dark. And. when the fun dad gets dark, it's all.

over. And you know that. Like when. someone's fun dad who you've been. getting [ __ ] up with all weekend turns. around and starts to say some really. wild [ __ ] and you're like, "Oh, I don't. know about that. Uh. really? Oh. Mr. Johnson, are you serious about all. that stuff? You know, they start to go. there's a switch that flips. Cuz the fun dad can get really dark. really quick. And I think this was the. switch that flipped where he started.

looking at his son and his friends and. going, "We're going to overthrow this. government." And I bet everybody's like, "It started as a joke." Like, "Okay.". We're going to We're going to go up to. the Congolese palace and what? And this guy was deadly serious, and he. got shot in front of everybody. And they were relieved when he got shot. They were like, "Thank God, cuz that was. rough.". And that Now they get put in jail, and I. don't know what happens to them. Utah parents terrified.

We don't know where he is. We don't know. what he's doing, what he's going. through. Um. we're just terrified. For now, they can. only wait for any news from the State. Department. I mean, we get to trust that. it's their job, right? And that it's. what they do, and their job is to look. after American citizens, and. What an interesting take, by the way. By. the way, what an interesting take. It's. like, this is the problem with.

institutionalists. She's like, "Well, we just have to trust. that it's their job, and their job is to. look after Americans." Your son tried to. overthrow the government of the Congo. The State Department's job's kind of to. like ignore that. What are they going to do? Your son was involved in a coup attempt. They don't give a She's like, "Well, it's their job. It's the State. Department's job. I'm sure they deal. with this all the time. I'm sure they. deal with people from Utah accidentally.

doing a coup all the time, and we just. have to be. you know, we just have to have faith and. trust Dude, the State Department is. busy. With all this [ __ ] going on with. Israel right now, can you imagine. knocking on. Hi, are we doing anything about the Utah. teenager who's stuck in the Congo? Hey, hey, hey, get the [ __ ] out of my office. Okay, how about you get the [ __ ] out of. my office, okay? I'm on the [ __ ] UP TO MY HEAD IN [ __ ]. RAFA. I GOT INCURSIONS. I GOT HEADLESS. BABY. EVERYBODY'S BLEEDING.

You think I GIVE A [ __ ] ABOUT A [ __ ]. FROM UTAH TRYING TO THROW THE COVER IN. THE [ __ ] CONGO? I HOPE THEY KILL HIM. And I hope they use that [ __ ] thing. where they. smear honey all over you and let fire. ants eat you or bees or something. I. read about that. I I don't know if. that's what they actually do or if it's. sort of a racist thing that I was. reading, but the point is it's a cool. punishment nonetheless. But nobody at. the State Department, this is not. priority one. Russia, Ukraine, China, Israel, Palestine, and then these these. [ __ ] lesbos? Sorry, ladies.

This is their job. They're I'm sure. they're really concerned about our son. They're This is their job, isn't it? Isn't this what they do? That's not what. their job is at the State Department. Someone should explain to these women. that's absolutely not their job at the. State Department. That is not their job. Their job at the State Department is uh. to try to figure out how to. say that Rafa attack was caused by. lightning, like a heat storm. That's.

their job at the State Department. They're sitting around going like, "Well, what if there was just Can we. Could we engineer. footage of lightning striking that camp? Maybe lightning struck a pile of. ammunition.". Well, have you ever heard of an. electrical storm? They're actually quite. powerful. That's their job at the State. Department. Not this. But anyway, let's. finish this up. That's literally all we. can do at this point is trust that they. are going to do that job.

That's sad. Well, here's the good news. If the kids get. out of jail, they have learned the a. humongous lesson. It is a lesson that. you'll never learn at summer camp. You. learn you cannot trust a charismatic. psychopath. Because a pa- Now, I've. almost had Bud Monster said to me once, this was after the second boating. accident. He said, "You have to stop. hanging out with me. I'm trying to kill. myself.". And I kind of internalized that and I. was like, "Oh, I see.".

Um charismatic. uh people can get you killed. Charismatic people can get you killed. Most people suck, so they cannot. convince you to do anything. Really, they can't. Most people are could just. like. Hello. Who's that? Christian Malanga? Yeah, and. his son. Yeah, that guy. was an intense guy.

But I bet he was fun. Got a close-up on him. Yeah. Yeah. That guy's a charismatic guy. He is a charismatic individual. And he convinced his son's friends. to go to the Congo and try to overthrow. a government. Not Not all at once, by the way. He was. just like, "You come to Africa. You. learn how to be man. You learn how to be man in Africa. You in America, you're a [ __ ] but you.

come here, you learn to be man." And. they're like, "What does that mean?". They don't know. They think it's going. to be fun. They think it's going to be. like American Ninja Warrior. But instead, this guy gets shot in the. head in front of them. But I'll tell you this, you learn the. limits of and you got to ask for the. receipts a little. I guess that's what. you learn after you've watched your. friend's father get killed in a failed. coup attempt. If If make it out of the. Congo prison, which by the way, they. might not and our government should. spend zero time trying to make that.

happen. Like literally the effort they. should is should be one phone call to. the Congo. You go, "Hey, would do How do. you feel? How do you feel about this? We'll give. you a couple of bucks, nothing crazy. We'll give you a couple of bucks. We'll send you like 10 Gs. Something like that if you let this guy. out. We should not We got too much going. on. We got And they should tell the. mother that. They should tell the two. lesbians that. They should tell them. they should go, "We got a lot going on." Like they. probably call the State Department every. day going like, "Hey, what's the deal.

with our son?" And then you go, "Hey. Hey, lady. I don't know if you've heard, but we got a lot going on. We got a lot. going on. It's getting real hot out. there. And uh we don't know where your son is. We haven't heard from your son. If we. hear from him, we'll pass the message along. But we're busy. We're busy. And they might never see him again. And that is sad. This is 2024. You've got two lovely lesbians who have.

an adopted son who then goes to the. Congo with his best friend's father and. ends up in prison because of a failed. coup attempt. It's so 2024. It really is. And they were happy about it. Oh, he's. in Africa. He's in. Well, he's in Africa. I think he's doing. aid work or helping. We don't know. But, you know, that's what happens. Your. sex life is important, but your schedule. is busy. You don't have the time to go. to a doctor's office and get treated for. your erectile dysfunction. Through Hims,

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pound law pound 529 from your cell. This. is a paid advertisement. Cracker. Barrel's in trouble. The CEO. uh is uh on an investor call. The stock. is plummeting. The chain restaurant in. talks to be redesigned. What does it mean for the country-themed. restaurant? I think the problem with the. Cracker Barrel is you. really do feel when you're sitting in it. like you're at a clan rally. It's not. the most. People don't mind being white trash. They don't want to feel like white trash.

all the time. And the Cracker Barrel. aesthetic is kind of a garbage person. aesthetic. It's just a you know, it's a mythology about like what it's. like when you're living off the land. Everything's real simple here at Cracker. Barrel. Come on in and get a. a home cooked meal at Cracker Barrel. And what it really is is a dump. And the good pancakes are good. The. food's actually decent. It's okay. But.

it needs to step up. to the new kind of more modern fascistic. thing. We can do modern fascistic. Because that will be a genre of. restaurant. It's like a fascist. modern place. But it's got You got to get rid of this. [ __ ] like hearth and these old. [ __ ] skis. on the [ __ ] walls. Get rid of all. this crap. Get rid of the bear skins and.

the [ __ ]. you know, these weird contraptions. You. got to design a modern. patriotic. place. Where you can say I'm a modern. patriot. I'm I don't ask no questions. Give me my chicken. Give me my chicken. I don't want to know. nothing about nothing. Give me my chicken. I support the. military in everything they do. In.

everything they will maybe do. War is good for the soul. That's what it. should say when you go to Cracker. Barrel. It should say war is good for. the soul on the wall. Cracker Barrel by the way should just be. to get you ready for war as a. restaurant. It should be what Fox News. is where it just gets you ready for war. And MSNBC's actually starting to do that. now, too. Most of our cultural. institutions in the country have just. decided that their main. um.

uh function is just to prepare the. population for war. So, what Cracker. Barrel like the menu should just say. rations. They should say rations on it. And and your waiter should come over and. say, "God bless America. Every sacrifice. is remembered here at Cracker Barrel.". Like, it should just get you ready to go. and die somewhere. That's the theme of. the Cracker Barrel restaurant. And I. think that it just it's it needs to be. redesigned.

so it kind of look like they should just. have plane they should have. TVs with military flyovers where you. just see the planes like flying over. football games. You should get out of. Cracker Barrel and punch your wife in. the face cuz you're so revved up. You're. so revved up, you should come out of. Cracker Barrel and commit a random hate. crime. You should just commit a random. hate crime at a rest stop when you walk. out of Cracker Barrel. That's the point. of Cracker Barrel. You get out of there. ready to fight. You're ready to fight.

Because that's what this country is. about. It's about war. They just got to retool it a little bit. They got to retool it. What is the CEO. saying? What's his plan? Does she agree. with me? It's a she. She said that. THEY'RE NOT. WHAT? I'VE LOCATED ONE OF THE PROBLEM it's a. she. That's a problem. Cracker Barrel says. CEO, "We're not as relevant as we once. were.". The 54-year-old roadside eatery with its. old country store and down-home menu of.

chicken-fried steak, grits, and hash. brown casserole. has been steadily losing customers for. the past decade. They want to start refreshing the. interior and exterior with a different. color palette. They got to go hard in. there. They got to remind people what this. country is about. Killing. for God. That's what Cracker Barrel should be. about. Killing people for God.

Jesus. The white one. Cracker Barrel should be about killing. You raise a family until they're old. enough to kill, and then you send them. You unleash them on the world. "We're just not as relevant as we once. were," Chief Executive Julie Felss. Masino, who took the helm of the company. 9 months ago, said. "Some of our recipes. and processes haven't evolved in. decades." Well, figure it out.

Or you're going the way of Red Lobster. Cracker Barrel's a rest stop meth. dungeon. It really is. There's zero reason to eat. at Cracker Barrel, really, unless you're. like It's where human traffickers like. like take a break and eat a little bit, but it can be redesigned as a fascist. place, as an American fascist eatery. This is the ex-president of Taco Bell, this woman? She was an executive that. did wonderful things at Taco Bell, and.

so now she's Cracker Barrel. Well, here's what Taco Bell's done. What. Taco Bell's done is consistently. aimed for like junkies. That's what Taco. Bell does. They use bright colors, and they use the same five ingredients, but it's for junkies. It's marketed to. junkies. It's marketed to stoners. It's. marketed to people that are out late at. night, drunks. They didn't try to be. healthy. They didn't try to do any of. that [ __ ] The cantina menu's fake. They. are Their bread and butter is people. that are out at 1:00 in the morning, and.

they know it. They know it. This is the. woman in the meetings when they say, "Should we try to appeal to people?" She. goes, "Absolutely not. We will lose this. company if we try to appeal to people.". She's got to be the one in the meeting. that has the balls when they say, "Should we make Cracker Barrel more. inclusive or more diverse?" She's got to. go, "No, actually, it should go the. other way. It should be the scariest. restaurant in this country. We should. literally put on our website, "We're the. home of traditional values." There. should be a picture of Donald Trump, a.

picture of Jesus, and a picture of ribs. And that's what they should do. That's. their brand, lean into it. No DEI, Cracker Barrel. You're going back to basics. We are a. restaurant for white people who are. going to send their children to go die. in Iraq or something. before they have a chance to get. addicted to drugs at home. It's the last meal you have before you. drop your kids at Fort Bragg. That's. Cracker Barrel. It is the last meal you.

have before you drop your children to go. die with honor. That's what you're going. to do. You're going to die with honor, son, because we've seen your mother's. medicine cabinet and there's a few. things missing, and we know you've been. drinking and hanging out with that. Spanish girl. So, guess where you're. going. Wherever the government says. Wherever the government says, you're. going. And we're going to have a nice. family meal at Cracker Barrel, and then. we're going to drop you off, and then. you're going to go shoot a baby in its. face, because that's what you're doing.

Go die with honor. at Cracker Barrel. Here at Cracker Barrel, we understand. that. everybody can be a little bit of a. problem, even the young ones. Ain't that. right, Israel? Cracker Barrel stands with Israel. Cracker Barrel should come out and stand. with Israel. Right after the rocket. attack, Cracker Barrel should say, "A. lot of restaurants puss out when things. get tough. But here at Cracker Barrel, we know what being an ally means, and we. don't mean an ally to those [ __ ] dog. mask-wearing [ __ ] in San Francisco.

We mean an ally to Israel. Israel's getting ready for the coming of. Jesus Christ. He's coming back, and. they're clearing the land, clearing the. land to prepare for the Lord Jesus to. come back. So, here at Israel Here at. Cracker Barrel, if you come in here and. you can prove you're a Zionist, you get. a free slice of pie, kosher pie. Come on. down to Cracker Barrel. Casualties happen. They should be. out in front.

Cuz all these New York City Jews would. never be caught dead in a Cracker. Barrel? Flip the script. Flip the script. Cracker Barrel should. be targeting Here at Cracker Barrel, it's come to our attention most people. don't even even know what Zionism is. We're giving a course on it. So, if you come to our Cracker Barrel. our pre-fix four course dinner, one of. our wait staff will explain to you the. necessity of keeping the holy land holy. for the return of Christ, no matter.

what. Come on down to Cracker Barrel and. at four courses of food we'll tell you. what needs to be done. We'll tell you what needs to be done. I don't care how you pronounce it. Raif, Rafa, it's all bad to me. Get ready, Cracker Barrel's coming. Cracker Barrel, they should sponsor the. Israeli war. Cracker Barrel is the official sponsor. of Israel's war in Gaza.

Sending biscuits to. Netanyahu. Cracker Barrel, some call it a genocide. We call it goody. Some say it's a genocide. We say it's. good eating. Here at Cracker Barrel we think. What if drones could deliver gravy? What kind of world would we be living. in? A much better world than the one we.

live in now. Here at Cracker Barrel, there's nothing. better than a man marrying his own. daughter. Cracker Barrel, we believe in incest and. Jews. Cracker Barrel. That's what they should do. If you want to have sex with your own. child, you bring him to Cracker Barrel. Get married to your own child at Cracker. Barrel. There's nothing wrong with it.

Cracker Barrel. I mean, listen. What if they became the. official restaurant of pedophiles? We're the official restaurant of. alternative lifestyles. Cracker Barrel. for minor attracted persons. Maps. Maps get really hassled in this country. Come on down to Cracker Barrel. Ain't nobody going to rat on you. Come on down and get a good down-home. meatloaf. with your. with your boy or girl.

If you're a minor attracted person, there's a lot of judgment in society, but not here at Cracker Barrel. The. official restaurant for maps. minor attracted people. These should all be pitched as brand. alternatives to like home-style family. Here's the thing, there's no more. home-style family [ __ ] Everyone's on. meth. Everything Every little small town. is like a meth dungeon. It's a meth. factory. The rivers are polluted. None. of that. Hunting and fishing, that's all.

over. So, you can turn it into a fascist. war factory, or you could make it a. place for like minor attracted people, maps, and people that are into incest. It's at rest stops. Cracker Barrel, WE. KNOW WHERE IT IS, RIGHT? IT'S A SIDE OF. THE road restaurant. You don't have a. lot OF OPTIONS. YOU CAN'T MAKE IT No. one's getting a shellfish tower at. Cracker Barrel. Make it a restaurant for. pedophiles. Come on down to Cracker Barrel. We don't.

ask no questions, except how much money. you want to save on our dinner. Cracker Barrel for minor attracted. persons. Hi, my name is Jules, and we've done a. lot at Taco Bell by focusing on feeding. junkies. We thought it'd be very interesting if. we just played around with the idea of. just alluding very uh vaguely to incest. in some of the commercials and kind of. targeting uh minor attracted people. That's all.

And it doesn't have to be explicit. Maybe it's a father kind of smiling at. his daughter while he cuts the pancakes. or. Again, America's going to a Listen, don't get mad at me. America's going to. a very dark place and I'm the CEO of. this company and I don't want to lose. I. hate losing. My name is Jules Falcigno. and I hate losing. So, I just want to. point this company to direction where we. can win. There's a lot of pedophiles. There's a lot of people having sex with. their own kids and they need to eat.

Here at Cracker Barrel. They got to think about things like. this. That's what the Listen, the. demographics in this country are not. going to be the old demographics. People are becoming monsters. You're. going to have to cater to them. It's going to be a reality. You're going. to have to cater to like people that are. not great. They're not ideal. They're. not what you would want. They're not.

what you would want. Okay? So, I'm not saying which ones you. have to do. I'm just saying you're going. to have to make a choice. Taco Bell made. the right choice to go junkies. People. that are on drugs. That's who eats here. People that are. drunk and they're on drugs. They drink. and they use drugs to make themselves. happy and they need cheap food that is. colorful. and quick. They don't want to wait. They. have bad impulse control, which is why. they're eating here. So, we need to get. something warm in their hand in 5.

minutes before they start to fight each. other. That's the way Taco Bell works. Hot in. their hand within 5 minutes. They're. most of them are in their cars and. they're drunk. So, they will start fighting with the. car behind them if the food is not out. in time. It is for drug addicts who are. coming home from a night of drinking and. using drugs. That is Taco Bell. I've. been there many a night. That's who it. is. We're all drug addicts in that. drive-thru. We're junkies. We're drunks.

We're not good people. We're not coming. from the [ __ ]. uh whatever it is. You know, we're not. coming from the food bank. We're not. coming from the. We're coming from a place where we were. drinking and using drugs and now we're. at Taco Bell and we're eating this gooey. crap in the back of the car like an. animal, you know, and you're. and you're eating all this [ __ ] and then. you fall asleep and you wake up in the. middle of the night. and you feel this like this lava in your. chest and a lot of times it's called.

acid reflux. It comes up through your. esophagus and and and you. wake up with it and then you like you'll. go to the you'll run to the bathroom and. start spitting it out until eventually. you just actually go, you know what it. is and you just swallow it. You like. wake up in the middle of the night and. you go, oh, that's the lava. It's like. the food cuz your body doesn't want the. food. Your body goes, no, no, no, this. wasn't food and your body goes, expel. it. It's not It's not food. If you ever. watched what they do in Taco Bell, the. things they use aren't even utensils.

It's like a weird like thing that just. flips the quesadilla over. It's not a. knife. It's not a fork. It's like this. weird lever they use to just and it's. all just uh. you know, things of sauce they squirt. and then like pastes they put but it's. not food. Nothing looks like food. You. can't identify when something's been a. food. So, the body the human body after. it's in there immediately starts. panicking. It just panics. If you eat a. lot of Taco Bell quick, your body. panics. It doesn't know what's happening.

and you'll be in the car and you have. this real thick like feeling of this you. feel really bad really quickly. And then. if you go to bed with that food in the. middle of the night, you wake up. with what they call acid reflux. And it. and it's just that that food that is not. really breaking down cuz the body. doesn't want it. And it just comes up in your throat, and. you feel it and it's holding in your. throat. And then you but then you get so. used to it, you just wake up and this is. when you know you're a fat slob. You.

wake up and you go, "Oh, that's just the. bile in my stomach trying to escape.". And then you go, "Nope." And you swallow. it and go, "Nope. You go back in.". Taco Bell, I've eaten at Taco Bell more. consistently than any other restaurant. in my life. I know Taco Bell when. I mean, I know Taco Bell in the '90s. I. know Taco Bell I know Taco Bell. I know. everything about it and I know this. [ __ ]. And I know what she did for Taco Bell.

She They have resisted every single. change that every other fast food. restaurant made. Dan Soder, good friend. of mine, has a great joke about this. Dan Soder's joke is he goes, "McDonald's, they were trying to be. like, 'No, we're healthy.'" And then Dan. Soder, they're like, "Taco Bell?" And. they're like, "Nope, we're crunchy.". Like like they know what they're doing. It's words that drug addicts can. understand. That's what Taco Bell does. And the food is So So what Cracker. Barrel has to do. is choose a course.

Like Red Lobster chose a course. It was. black people who were leaving church. That's who it was. And I love Red. Lobster, and I like black people who. leave church, and I like a lot of the. things they're going to eat. But that. was a Red Lobster's choice. They had a demographic choice, okay? It's like Friday's. Friday's for a while. like their choice it was like. they went with like teachers. because like the whole idea of like. thank god it's Friday's like attracted.

like these it was like a weird cringe. thing it was like a teacher vibe or like. middle management lower level corporate. cheap suit marketing dirtbag people that. would show up and like get the Jack. Daniel's platter get the appetizer. platter and like get like a margarita at. Friday's you know like thank god it's. right and the bartender would pretend to. flirt with them and they'd be like. you're in again some guy would walk in. and he'd be like you're in again huh.

and she'd be like yeah I didn't see you. last week and he'd be like well I was. working OR I WAS SAYING I WAS WORKING. LIKE IT'S ONE OF those and that's your. Friday's had like the weird dad types. who would flirt with the bartender Red. Lobster had the church people on Sundays. Taco Bell had the junkies. you got to choose. Outback had like families of 12. like families of 12 people where like.

people would go into Outback Steakhouse. and they would bring blankets and. pillows and cribs and like it would be. their home for two hours Outback just. courted like very large fan they had. like the largest families I've ever seen. would go to the Outback Steakhouse like. white like white trash families. um. but I think Cracker Barrel needs to make. a decision these theme restaurants tell. us more about our lives and our culture. than museums. so if you think I spend too much time on. them [ __ ] off they tell us more about.

who we are than music the Guggenheim. for the average person means nothing. it means at people would get on my tour. bus they'd go what museum should we go. to I said stop it it means that going to. the Met and seeing the Temple of Dendur. it means nothing to you it means nothing. go to Charlie O's. it's a nice little cheap cheap cheap. steakhouse in Penn Station. And go see a Ranger game. Go to Charlie. O's.

Theme restaurants. tell us. who we are as a people. Museums don't. Uh. like. you know, academic institutions barely. do. Um. politics sort of does. Theme restaurants. You will learn. everything you need to know about. America by visiting like an Applebee's. on a Wednesday night and just sitting.

there. You will learn everything you. need to learn about everybody and about. this whole cut You will need nothing. else. You won't need a poll from Nate. SILVER 538. YOU WILL need nothing else. You eat a meal at Applebee's, you walk. to your car, and you get it. Immediately. you get it. You understand the whole. thing. The whole thing. The food that doesn't make any sense.

Bourbon fajita patty burgers. It doesn't make sense. The food that they had fajita burgers at. Applebee's at one point. It's a burger and a fajita. IT'S PARTY. PARTY DOWN. Eating good in the. neighborhood. And it's not good. Oh, it. is not good. It's worse than frozen food. that you would just buy and eat. But you. will learn so much about. And the people talk to you, too. You go. So, you know, you could say to them like. you're working a lot. And they.

they'll tell you. They'll just be like, "Well, I'm only on 2 days this week. I. go I'm going to school. I want to be a dental hygienist. My. mother took her own life. My brother's on the lamb. from the law. My mother killed herself. She couldn't. really deal with that. I work 2 days a. week. I want to be a dental hygienist, you know? And you go, "Oh, thank you. Kind of. fajita burger?". What's good today? The fajita burger. What is it? They go, "I don't know.". They'll tell you, too. They go, "I don't. really know what that one is.".

And they go, "It's a burger and a. fajita.". They'll giggle. Go, "All right, I'll. have that." They go, "Yeah, we just. serve it with seven sauces. Which. everyone you want. Just put anything on. it. Put anything on it. We're all in. hell. We're all in hell here. Sir, are you a MAP? If you're a MAP, you. get a free dessert. Are you. If you're a no contact MAP, we want to. show our appreciation by giving you a. free dessert. So, if you are a dormant.

pedophile, there's a free dessert for. you. If you're a no contact MAP. Well, they shot another guy in Minneapolis. Very sad. This is a cop who who was. killed in Minneapolis. Minneapolis is really a [ __ ] dump. It's sad. This guy, Jamal What was his. last name? Mitchell. Jamal Mitchell goes. in, he's ambushed, he's killed. He was a. father. He was recognized for saving two. elderly people from the burning home on.

his third day in the job. And the guy is ambushed and killed. And. you know, this is. an absolute. tragedy. It's one of the saddest things. I've read. And the people of Minnesota. consistently vote for this type of [ __ ]. They vote for defunding cops. They vote. for making it easier for criminals. It's. a disgusting place. Um the people there are disgusting pale. white demons from hell.

And this is the way they want to live. Um they live in little igloos. And that's what they do. And they they. uh they're disgusting. Good pancakes. there for whatever reason, I don't know. But, they uh they consistently. get the people killed that they. supposedly care about. And this guy is a hero, and he, you. know, I hope there's a GoFundMe or something. We'll donate to it for his family. It's. absolutely insane, and hopefully the. people of Minnesota stop behaving like. this. I mean,

he's like the third or fourth cop to get. killed in a while. But, again, they just. constantly don't want to live in a civil. society, the people of Minnesota and the. Great Lakes region. They do not want to live in a civil. society. I don't know why that is about. I don't know why they do not want to. live in a civil society. Um. but I've talked to many of them when I'm. there, and this is what they do not want. it. They do not like civilization, and they are the enemies of it in. Minnesota. They're the enemies of. civilization.

In Minneapolis, Minnesota. That's just. what it is. They are the enemies. They. are the enemies. There's a few good ones that come to the. casino to see me every couple of years, and I like them. Those are the good ones. But, you know who you are out there, enemies of civilization, trying to. destroy the Earth. You know who you are. And you lot of you live in Minnesota, Minneapolis, Minnesota. There's. something wrong there. It snows for like. 10 months, and these gaunt white demons.

just keep trying to ruin everything. And they I don't know. Now, there's See, this is pretty crazy. This uh situation down there is pretty. crazy. You know, and listen, this is where the. Floyd thing went down, which, you know, obviously was not good. We're not saying. that. we want that happening, but we also just. can't have cops getting ambushed and. killed.

Can't have cops getting ambushed and. killed. This isn't safe for anybody, and. I just have nothing I have nothing good. to say about Minneapolis Minnesota. I've. never met a person from there that I've. liked. I have never visited it once and. went, "Wow, thank god I'm here." It is. It is just gross, truly. Am I wrong? Oh, you have a lake? Oh, is. a lake nice? Shut up. We'll smack you with the Pacific Ocean. or the Atlantic. We don't need that part of the country. It's got to go.

That gaunt white folk Oh, shucks. I'm a. folksy white church. Oh, shucks. Look at. me. I'm from Minneapoli- Die and burn in. hell. You are demons. They are. They are demons. They're demonic, these people. They're disgusting. Um. I It'd be great to announce a show there. right now. I would love to And I would. sell it because they know. The people that agree with me know. We.

have nothing left, folks. We have. everything's uh The Comedy Store. It's. the last time I'm going to be in LA for. a while. I'm going to the Hamptons for. the summer. [ __ ] off. Ryman Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee, and Des Plaines, Illinois. They keep. yelling me I got to keep plugging this. November 2nd. I mean, well, leave me. alone. They keep screaming at me. These agents. yell and scream. Des Plaines, Illinois, the Event Center. at Rivers Casino, right before the. election. Come on down. Please. To see me. To see me.

We're here on Patreon every week. We'll see everybody. next week. Hold your head, Donald. Hold your head, sir. Can we get Donald Trump saying cash. before we leave? To play us out. Let's get Donald J. Trump. You might be. on the fence about this guy, but when. they say. what's uh what's a collateral for your. bond, and he says cash, and then walks. away. Goodnight, everyone. And we're.

going to play off with Donald Cash. Trump. And we appreciate very much the decision. of the Appellate Division. Thank you. very much. What's your collateral with. bond? Cash.