"Bros" | The Tim Dillon Show #318 (ft. Greg Stone)

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim. Dylan show I'm here with an old friend. of mine I have not seen in how long. 2002 the towers were up last time I. think I saw you is that true I think no. they were coming down at the end of the. conversation there was no there's no way. the towers were up no no no there's no. way 2016 18 18. I don't know I haven't seen you in a. minute but we were very close and we had. a lot of fun yes New York City yeah I'm. so happy we're still friends yes.

where and it's good things are good. friendships are yes but I had a phone. number of yours for three years I've. been texting you three years I've been. texting you still not getting back to me. Tim just to find out that it wasn't your. number it was not mine and I was. consistently being like Oh if you're not. texting me back I'm gonna keep texting. you more right Tim and just being like. all right you piece of [ __ ] wait till I. see you yeah and then Mike Feeney was. like dude that's not his phone number. yeah no I would have I would have texted. you back and you have a kid now and a. wife and you're a very funny comedian.

Greg Stone thanks those of you who don't. know yeah and it's good it's good to see. you you look great thanks you know I'm. diabetic I lost 13 pounds 13. very. exciting I'm hiring a trainer I'm trying. to go in that direction yeah yeah you. should get broke at Rogan we're gonna do. it. um let me train you I'm scared. get that guy that will severely damage. our relationship if I if he asked if I. have to be accountable to him yeah. that'll be the end why because he.

doesn't [ __ ] around with that. he doesn't kid around like that's he's. seriously yeah I know that's what you. want I want I want a trainer who's like. yes but I also realize you there's other. things you got going on yeah like I want. that kind of trainer I want a trainer. you're gonna [ __ ] get ready but also. but also you've got you have a full. plate this new movie did you see Bros I. don't even understand I missed.

everything I don't understand what it is. I I was told that I'm not allowed to see. it because I'm straight. I don't even I didn't know it was a gay. movie it's a gay movie it's a gay. rom-com and what happened it bombed. mm-hmm uh it's Billy Eichner it's. someone else I don't know uh they tried. to do. they tried to do a movie about just. dudes [ __ ] okay and America did not. come and I don't think it's in America's. homophobic because the birdcage did 185. million worldwide Brokeback Mountain was. huge but this movie for whatever reason.

has done 4.8 million opening for Bros. solo that it also means many lgbtq. viewers in trouble because everyone's. gay now yeah you can't blame straight. people because if you go on the internet. everyone's kind of gay if you look at. their bios so they also didn't do see. this movie I didn't even know in there I. didn't even know what it was or existed. it was called Bros I thought it was. about bro dudes I didn't know it was. about gay guys it's about a gay guy. who's a podcaster it's about a podcaster.

that's why no one wins yeah it's even a. podcaster and a dude who's kind of like. a a jock and they meet up and they're. not releasing it in the Middle East. because there's graphic sex scenes oh. really yeah there's some graphic here's. the thing with a movie like this it's. got to be so funny a movie like this has. got to be so funny that you have to be. the you know the dude to suggest it to. your other friends and not seem gay. right so the movie has to be so good. that you have to go guys you know.

because it'll never be easy to do you. bring someone I go we gotta go see Bros. right there's not a laugh and it's just. men [ __ ] your friends go well now. we've learned now we've learned. something about you you've come out. thanks for telling us what you have to. do with this because it would start. where it's like you would you would. literally have to be like hey man you. know maybe go see a movie. you know it's like a bunch of dudes and. they're like they're all sitting there. and you gotta go hey man like uh I don't.

know what's out you know uh. maybe uh there's something uh what about. Bros and they one of them's gonna go. isn't that the gay movie that's your. moment that's your moment you have to. hit them with bullet points you have to. be like no no no no they're like dude. aren't they sucking each other off for. two hours go no no no no it's so funny. and you know Steve Martin's in it or. whoever like you gotta have so much star. power in that one movie yeah like dude. did you see the trailer it's [ __ ]. hilarious look at the trailer like it. has to be so aggressively good so funny.

just to get through you have to actually. even like or you have to like [ __ ] a. girl in the theater yes you're watching. it like yeah this is cool too you got to. be like listen I was [ __ ] my fish the. other night and you know what she wanted. to go see this movie Bros yeah and now. she's left town but I figure we're all. together right are we here we're here. maybe we'll go see Bros and and the the. thing is it's really so they've spent an. estimated 30 to 40 million to promote. Bros because it's everywhere if you look.

I haven't even I know it's hard now. it's you haven't even seen any of it I. saw one sign that said Bros and it was. two guys and you know what I thought the. mugasi was about I thought about. straight guys pretending to be gay or. something I was like oh are they doing. this in 2006 like we didn't hear about. the metoo movement kind of [ __ ] real. like on woke like yeah. it's like the Sandler movie what was it. called Adam Sandler that movie where. they pretended to Get Right Now. Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and it was. like who was it was Kevin James right.

even James Sandler and they pretended to. be they pretend to be because he wanted. a bang what's her name with the great. ass sorry yeah I remember the same yeah. it's my show you're not say anything you. want what's her name anyway Justin. Timberlake's ex-wife Jessica Beale yeah. so it's they pretended to be gay and. they were firemen yeah they were firemen. can't be gay. so we were thinking like I was I was. wondering it's like the marketing in. this number one the the thing Bros right. there b-r-o-s with the thing like this. you have to Market this very differently.

right this cannot be marketed as like. hey everybody. it's a gay movie you have to Market this. as a [ __ ] hilarious movie where guys. [ __ ] in it like there's graphic sex in. it yeah dude sex and it's got to be so. over the top like dude sex can be really. funny but it's got to be really over the. top what's it about is it just we'll try. to get the gay sex right no I I think.

it's it's about are they brothers who. are gay that might be a problem it's. about here hold on go go back for a. second Bobby a neurotic podcast host. who's happy to go on Tinder dates and. content not to have a serious. relationship that all changes when he. meets Aaron an equally detached lawyer. who likes to play the field. repeatedly drawn to each other both men. begin to show their vulnerable sides if.

you go see this you are gay right you're. coming out sure like the description of. that if you're paying money to see that. movie you're gay I tell you they call it. the gay movie or the yeah you're the gay. test yeah making more money yeah Bros. was a bad name no this is this is you're. a gay movie if this was like any other. type of movie yeah where it's a guy like. me who's a garbage man in Staten Island. and who has to tell his fat wife he.

sucks [ __ ] yeah and she's throwing [ __ ]. at him and calling him and she's like. you're a [ __ ] yeah that's a movie. people watch because they go and then. you can sneak in some disgusting you. know not that gay sex is just but I mean. like it should be in a comedy right gay. sex in a comedy should be funny sure. just like straight sex and a rom-com. should be funny yes like it shouldn't be. like hot no I think any sex in a comedy. should be kind of like what's going on I.

would argue this though I would argue. that if you're gonna put a sex scene in. you they've yet to do this put in a real. super hardcore yeah [ __ ] scene into a. comedy come on your face I think this is. that really supposedly it's great yeah I. think it's so graphic. really people gay people aren't going to. watch this because they're turned off. how graphic your gay voice is it gay you. know like it it's okay for me for me.

it's so much [ __ ] apparently and I. don't know because Billy eichers come. out and said listen you're all. homophobic you didn't go to see now. here's the thing respective Billy. Eichner you're not a big celebrity sure. you did There's Billy on the Street it's. to show people watching taxis. you what does he do right he runs around. and he's like doesn't isn't this his. show he's like hey I'm on the street. everybody and who are you I don't like. it it's very mean he's a mean guy he. walks on the street and he says hey I. don't like your hair they go why he goes.

you're a [ __ ] and he leaves I'm like. this is not a show it's like a show that. legitimizes hate crimes yes you go oh. you punch that gay guy he yeah that's. what the whole show is is he chases. people on the street and make you answer. fast yeah he goes what's going on with. you you know and you're you're like I. don't know what are the three branches. of government you're like I don't really. know like yeah he's like all right you. ignorant Pig and then he just runs away. and so he's the guy so listen this let. me read a review here this is not a. movie for teens of any age it's. basically soft core porn of any age.

teens of any age well Euphoria which is. the biggest show on TV [ __ ] great and. it's a great show I love that I've. always wanted to be in that as some. unimportant I'll edit you in thing can. you yeah I don't understand a man we'll. just do some scenes and I'll put you in. it now you're in it I've always wanted. to just so I could like stand next to. jack up a lordy and just be like it's. another day on the you know it's another. day for guys like us you know just. something stupid but it's softcore porn. right it's a very like see now this goes.

it's not a movie for somebody by the way. brought their teens to Bros and is very. very angry about this some parrot said. we're going to Bros I don't know how. that happened they walked in and they're. like we're going to brows yeah this is. not a movie for teens of any age it's. basically softcore porn why would you. let your 16 year old watch a movie with. fairly graphic orgies gay or straight. are standards for what is considered. appropriate entertainment for teens has.

reached a new low I don't know if this. was marketed to teens and then the next. person under because hilarious and. raunchy. I'm gonna go see this movie and see if I. get some lift it's very exciting for me. yeah I don't know what's going on here I. don't know how graphic it is it doesn't. matter yeah I mean let me tell you this. after you get married yeah ever you. become gay you become everything I am I. am it's like prison you know people go. to prison you have to forget right I. will [ __ ] anything yeah and I'll do and. and I watch these things I try to test.

myself to see where I can go sexually. what I can watch I'm gonna go to this. movie. just and I'm gonna try to jerk off yeah. see what happens I love this article it. goes Bros review Billy Eichner won't. play nice for the straights it's like. why is everything. so angry I know. it's annoying it's like why is. everything so just. make a really funny movie and sneak some. graphic right sex into it I knew when I.

would try to get my friends to watch gay. stuff it always had to have something. else going on that's gay stuff give me a. hint like a movie. like what's a gay movie. just give me I need to try to think of a. good uh gay movie. bird cage yeah brilliant right Nicholson. May one of the funniest scripts ever. written right you easily go dude it's. [ __ ] it's actually really funny yeah. okay. you know Twilight is gay very gay very. good yeah but it's you know it's the guy. with the shirt it's like yeah you gotta.

have some other you got to have like. yeah but there's a hot chick in it. because there's a lot of you gotta. Target the market of closeted people yes. they want to see the movie closeted. people want to go to see the movie some. of them are gonna go see it alone it's a. gay movie with a different hook it's a. different hook you gotta be able to. because there's got someone's got to be. able to sit through this movie fully. erect and walk out a straight man with. their friends and if that doesn't happen. you failed as a producer here's what I.

do I open a business I open a theater. where the theater our whole vibe is we. tell you every movie sold out except the. gay movie so you go hey let's go see the. new Transformers interesting right you. walk up you go two three four for. Transformers and they go sorry yeah all. we have is uh raping ass sex for four. hours and you go well we already paid. for the Uber and now you're in now. you're in right well I want to see the. lesbian version of this right the. lesbian version of this where I don't. know what they would call like how. extreme is it gonna get they just call. it dykes.

and it's just two women on like a farm. in Wisconsin just eating each other's. [ __ ] for two hours yeah and again I. understand America's homophobic people. say homophobic [ __ ] about me all the. time you know it's the least bad of what. they say about me but I understand that. the country's homophobic but you got to. see it as a challenge just work around. it right just work around it but also. like. yeah okay the country's homophobic but. the major markets aren't they're not New. York L.A homophobia is not the reason.

for this failure that's what I agree the. reason for this failure is it's probably. not funny like yeah sorry can we watch a. trailer on this or will we get totally. [ __ ] like I mean I don't mean like we. can watch a trailer right why are you. looking at me I'm a guest I don't know. let me throw this at you you also have. to understand that if they would have. marketed as there's all this gay sex. scenes yes you're also going to get the. Bros who are like Yo dude let's go watch. that gay movie yes I mean those guys are. gonna go see it as a bit you know.

because they think that's funny you have. to allow them right space to ironically. yes go see this bro movie Let's Hear It. Let's watch this hey guys it's Bobby. Lieber coming to you from the future. home of the lgbtq plus Museum see you. ready I'm out they're talking about the. lgbtq museum. this happens to be bisexual awareness. bisexual Awareness Week. lesbian history month was in March. nobody said a goddamn thing of course. lesbians get a month and we get a week.

[Music]. this is habitat too I mean he's great. he's done great stuff situation you're. in a trouble. let me tell you what's Progressive now. being alone I love my life I love my. freedom I love my Independence that's. kind of sad that I don't want to be in a. throuple I don't even want to be in a. couple. Bobby I had sex with that 65 year old. Jesus he's ripped I don't know it's like. they injected steroids into Dumbledore.

oh my God that's not it. right you know when you a line like that. it's like they injected steroids into. Dumbledore yeah that's not it okay good. comedies were like 10 years ago yeah I. mean like Will Ferrell the [ __ ] those. like movies the Adam McKay that genre. was like dude that [ __ ] was so we're. done you could have snuck in hardcore. anal into Step Brothers no one would. have cared I would I would have loved it. it would have been fine yeah because it. was so [ __ ] funny you put a fisting. scene in the middle of Tommy Boy fine.

I I'll say this I'll throw this out to. your fans edit a hardcore sex scene into. Step Brothers right let's see if it. makes it better yeah I guarantee it does. right I guarantee it's just Larry. steenberg and getting plowed yeah yeah. the two brothers right Bros it's about. step Bros and they're [ __ ] re-edit. Steph Bros line through step and just. edit hot sex between Will Ferrell yeah. and Philip Seymour Huffman what's his. name uh John C Riley yeah that Phillips. Robin has died of heroin overdose.

that'll happen very sad very sad this is. what happens well my whole feeling on. the whole thing is I hate blaming. homophobia I think you just gotta do. better [ __ ] right but I also understand. that like there is that's real to a. degree where people just go yeah it's. hard for a dude to suggest to his. buddies let's go see Bros. but we got to think about like first of. all the title right the title right Bros. is stupid it's a dumb type because some.

guys gotta say to a guy in a pickup. truck you want to just go see Bros. [Laughter]. title. the truck have had a day already and. they're just going I mean none of this. is working out yeah let's just go see. Bros let's go see Bros do you want to. see that guy suck off that other guy I. mean I'll check it out yeah I mean it's. it's a wild moment because gay sex or. getting more views I think honestly I.

think they didn't go they didn't go far. enough yeah they didn't go far enough I. think they went too medium that whole. trailer was medium right they go pull. back or go all in oh go all in all in. yeah all in I'm in yeah which is or it's. eyes wide shot with Billy eichman the. most annoying person on television. people do not react to him the way he. thinks people react to him well those. respect like he doesn't he doesn't come. off like a fun guy you want to spend two. hours with no he hates me I don't even. know him he I know he hates me I think.

he blocked me on Twitter I'm not sure. but he hates like so a lot of people in. the movies not fans of mine because it's. like I get it whatever you know I'd be. one of them call me a pet homosexual. once because I was just friends with. Rogan in them what does that mean it. means like I'm friends with straight. people let me say this though yeah these. guys maybe this is disrespectful yeah 99. of the time I forget you're gay that's. true not in like whatever but yeah he. would say they would say that I'm doing. the wrong thing because they would say. that I'm trying to assimilate into the.

straight World instead of walking around. spitting Comet people. that's what that's what they would say. instead of me because for me it would be. weirder if I went harder to get like. that would be just as disingenuous right. if I got on stage I was like hey [ __ ]. right stop it like that would be strange. and I would argue too I want to just I. forget you're getting the way I bet. people forget I'm Italian that's right. you know what I mean like yeah it's a. giant part of my life yeah but there's. just so you don't walk around with a.

full-blooded Italian shirts no you don't. talk about the mother country no it's. just not you've got other things going a. lot of things going on man yeah but. that's a great example because it both. gay people and Italians have become. insufferable in similar ways and equally. greasy and equally kind of greasy and. they have a they fuse in many ways but. it's just it's having real prod like if. you ever listen to an Italian from Long. Island they'll tell you that they've. been discriminated against. worse than anyone it's like yeah no but.

every movie is about you guys love them. you love it we love being a cartoon. disown it and you can't walk away from. it like gay people love promiscuity they. love the idea that they're always. [ __ ] then you can't get mad if people. then associate you with that Italian. people love being a cartoon and they are. a cartoon and we lean into being a. cartoon that's right it is a while it is. a we you yeah you call me hey we [ __ ]. scream across the street we love being. Super Mario but then in someone else we. call the lead we call the you know the. Anti-Defamation League yeah are you.

actually familiar with why the. Anti-Defamation League was started I. have no idea the Anti-Defamation League. is was when people would do [ __ ] on. Italians you call them they were they. were created to tell to let people know. that the mob doesn't exist they were. created by the mob to discredit people. who went after the mob is that true yes. yes the mob created the league so that. when people said Italian under the mafia. they would sue them that's like a lot of. pedophiles created something called The. False memory syndrome like the false.

memory Foundation like a lot of kids. were being like we were abused the false. memory syndrome Foundation was like. actually these are memories that were. implanted in their head by a. psychologist and that was created by. pedophiles there was this guy from the. CIA on the board of like the false. memory syndrome Foundation oh she's very. weird it's funny it's like Italian. starting the ADL to just tell people hey. don't worry about it yeah don't worry. you're talking [ __ ] but it's not even. real right this thing you're mad at. doesn't exist which is so stupid idiots.

yeah also Bros black screen that the. trailer should have been full black. screen yeah cut to. 69ing right just a full 69 yes and then. people would see that movie and then it. just say see it [ __ ]. Pros we've had enough you make that. trailer yeah people go see that movie. yeah but that's people do get mad you. know there are people that say to me. like you you assimilate into and you say. to yourself you're like what are you. supposed to do what do you suppose what.

would you because you remembered me in. New York City I had jokes about being. gay but it wasn't 10 of them right I had. one or two of them right and they were. fun you know one of them was about. killing myself on the George Washington. Bridge I had to say about ice cream yeah. you know it was but it wasn't like this. every single thing right right like. there are Comics now where it's like to. get on stage and you're like so I'm. queer and the audience will clap which. there's nothing wrong with that but it's. weird to me because it's like what is. this what's the next level what's the.

Deep Earnest of it great you're gay but. give me the like I was hoping with this. movie it was like it was going to open. my eyes to some [ __ ] I didn't know about. but I watched that as a straight man I. go yeah I get it I see this yes you're. neurotic and annoying I get it I know a. woman who's like a Pakistani lesbian and. you know what it all comes down to she. likes hats. she just wears baseball hats you'd think. being a lesbian with that background. would have like a fat should be a. fascinating person she just loves. putting on hats she loves sneakers a.

high Beast there's no difference between. her and a 15 year old who's waiting. outside to get a new pair of shoes that. are dropping there's nothing wrong with. that but it's like not everybody's thing. doesn't come from their like life. experience right no I get it like being. Italian has meant what to you I mean. it's the food it's the culture no but. there was a distinct thing in my career. where I went I'm Greg corluzzo I'm from. New Jersey is that true yeah my stone is. my mom's name coraluzo is my dad's name. so you were Greg corluzzo before you. became Greg Stone yep and my first joke.

was did you eat did you eat G and I went. Greg if you go this road if you continue. to do this joke you will be the Italian. comedian from New Jersey tell the joke. and you yeah oh no no please you have to. tell Greg carluzzo oh you have to tell. the joke the joke was so it's so bad. it's not a good joke it's okay it's not. not that's why I'm asking you to tell it. it's like so we're Italian right Italian. people we like to take it's like we. every word is what it's like oh every. sentence is one word so go g g i call my.

dad I go what does it mean to slow it. down and go g g did you eat it was like. a bunch of that [ __ ] I I am I am going. to kill myself for saying this out loud. I buried that person but you you regret. carluza did you dress differently no I. mean I used to wear no I but I knew I. wouldn't do this yeah I wear a tracksuit. okay you wore it in the beginning no no. no I'm kidding okay uh but like I knew. that if I kept doing these Jersey gigs I. was doing a lot of [ __ ] weddings I. was doing a lot of like vfws I went you.

are going to make a lot of money these. people love what you're doing you know. if I did Italian you get you get the. polio container in your freezer every. all the references they [ __ ] loved it. and I went you you got to be better than. this and I and I buried Greg coraluza. when I started in Long Island you can. only imagine yeah the amount of people. that were Greg carluzzo yes. I'm talking about 19 year old 20 year. old kids where Greg carluzzo like they. were like hey are you doing they get on. stage. uh it was so gross I mean I did a party.

once a private party where I got up and. I I it was Four Bridges which is the. school like Billy Joel's kids went okay. it's a private school and it was an. Islip and it was in a nice backyard in. Long Island and there was like a John. Travolta impersonator. who told me he goes yeah I used to do. comedy is what I do now and he got on. stage you know the white outfit and he. was doing Saturday Night Fever yeah and. he's like come on Grandma like you try. to get the old lady up he goes come on. Grandma let's go and the old woman has.

kind of gone back and forth and you. could see him he's like really in it and. he's doing it and he's like and you. could just see like the pain that was. buried so behind his eyes and I'm like. well it makes sense because it's not. that much of a leap right from Greg. carluzzo oh to if you're gonna be that. guy you then it's like well why wouldn't. I put on a leather white leather outfit. and dance in someone's backyard to a. movie that came out 30 years ago 30. years ago that's the thing too he's. probably still doing Travolta and like.

it's like these Trump guys yeah who are. probably they're still out there doing. Trump Impressions and it's still there. in 15 years they're still doing Trump. Impressions I knew a guy up recently who. was doing bush. yeah still doing George like Trump I. think is still fine he's still out there. I knew guys doing bush like recently wow. in fact I did uh uh and listen this. comedian's a legend I'm I'm blanking on. his name right now and everyone's gonna. be like no you're not you're selling out. this is how it happened.

uh no but he's a [ __ ] lad he's an old. Jewish guy Rob something he had the. first HBO special I'm literally blanking. on his name uh this guy. from Larry Richard Lewis no another but. another guy he likes that you got it. though yeah no I know what you where. you're going Ron Klein yes Robert Klein. and he did and he's you know that guy. was a killer but he did I did a count. lines and he was doing kind of Clinton. Lewinsky jokes we're talking. sure 2015 2016. because it was just like.

and you know and it's that [ __ ] happens. dude I I saw a guy it's Scotty's. Steakhouse tell people about and I don't. want to I'm not trying to [ __ ] on the. sure thing of Scotty's Steakhouse tell. people about Scotty's Steakhouse and. comedy Cove well he says well I will. tell you the comedian I saw there yeah I. want to say. maybe 2017. shout out to Scotty's. Steakhouse shout out to Scotty I'll be. back there in a few years it's what. happened yeah on the way up on the way.

down I've never been there but I'll be. back nothing like when someone gives you. a menu at a comedy club and goes you. can't order these things yeah it just. it's just keeping you no meat no meat. you can enjoy yourself with some penne. we're watching our money yeah we're. watching the bottom line yeah don't get. cute. um and the comedian did he goes knock on. dead he starts doing Ross Perot and I. watched he goes now I gotta do it and he. was like can't can't and I'm I'm going. what the [ __ ] Ross Perot and I pull as a.

feature I'm like we gotta Google this. one this is 30 years Russ Perot I see. this kid in a crowd going people didn't. know who lost Perot was then people. don't yes yeah like it was hard then. yeah audiences would be like what's. going on not getting there. is that rust Pro or bush one I guess. it's Ross Pro no wait Ross Perot was. here's little say no right because bush. that sounds like Dana carvey's Bush one. I think you're right and I can't. remember have a [ __ ] there's a whole.

Subterranean road yeah well continue. there's a whole Subterranean level of. Comedy that people don't understand and. it's birthday parties bachelorette. parties there's a site called gig. Masters where gig Masters yeah you put. your stuff up there and you can people. hire you oh we want a comedian and it's. not a comedy club it's not a theater you. show up to a house I did one of these. gigs where we the whole gig was we had. to pretend to be a band and then start. telling jokes and it was in Lodi New.

Jersey and there was this one armed. crackhead who ran a recovery Comedy. Company that I used to work for and he. goes you'd be perfect for this and I go. why he goes you can go with the flow and. we got in a car and we went there we had. to pretend to be this bad band and then. the whole bit was. oh we're not a band we're we're actually. comedians let me tell you how badly that. flopped. let me tell you how no one was. interested at all yeah in the fact that.

we weren't a band yeah at all and then. we had to after that didn't land we had. to go okay well now we're doing the. comedy show and then somebody had to get. up and go hey everybody remember that. like saying you're a steakhouse yes and. then being like Oh just kidding we're. vegan right but it's like we have a lot. of people who came here for some steak. right you know it's a band I'm excited. for a band oh but now you're a shitty. comedian everybody wanted the band yeah. people were so excited when the band was. setting up. nobody wanted to go to play Nobody wants.

like comedy everybody's like are you. doing sweet Caroline like we were taking. requests people were shouting requests. going hey Google do this one they were. like oh great just got a band The Look. on their faces when we start because we. got to remember one guy is one arm right. wait he's got one arm that he lost he. said he lost it in Vietnam but he didn't. he lost it shooting up sure and me and. then these two other. one guy who had a little bit of a career.

but didn't and like said something crazy. in the car Like Comics will say crazy. [ __ ] like he said he goes yeah he goes. yeah Jon Stewart's got all he's got but. can he do Biloxi Mississippi and you go. yeah I'm sure by the way I'm sure he. could I'm sure he could fill it sure and. what who cares why would he want to. comedians have these crazy ways of. justifying whatever they've you know and. we we go there and this guy is also his. bit was it he was he does a Chinese. accent but he's not I know that comedian.

so he does half the acting like. and then in the middle of it he goes. stop [ __ ] around I'm really not. Chinese. I you know that I know that man and I. worked with him at Scotty's Steakhouse. and does he it's still the thing right I. mean I saw him maybe seven years ago and. he did it in a time when it should not. have been done right he goes up there. and he goes wine like he pretends to. fully be trained yes. I have a horrible thing yes.

and he goes and there's nervous laughs. don't you say that the whole time and. the guy yes. oh wait a minute are you saying this is. a white guy and does an Asian joke no no. he's an Asian guy I don't know it's kind. of it's ambiguous it's ambiguous no he's. Asian okay I don't know I know another. guy who does something else he's a white. guy you know a white guy yeah who does. the Chinese accent and then says oh no. I'm not so no because my memory is.

[ __ ] and I'm an idiot he does an. entire joke where he's just doing this. Chinese accent right and then the twist. is that. you know I don't know what the [ __ ] I'm. talking I don't know what the [ __ ]. happened here whatever it was maybe. pretend to be Irish was probably wrong. it was probably it was bad it was bad. but he's doing a Chinese I know there's. a white guy out there doing a Chinese. accent that is wild yeah no it's it's. the things we used to see in Long Island. like the levels of inappropriate like I. listen I hate all the like people that. are too welcome to you know sure but the.

things we saw right the levels of racism. and comedy that I that's why I don't get. like when people like a lot of people. that I know in La be like this is so. inappropriate I'm like you have no idea. you've never seen it you have no idea. what I've seen you don't know what's out. there you don't know what people will. get on a stage and do you've never seen. the vulgar firemen it was like Joey the. vulgar fireman who goes out there and he. goes I just call it like I see him and. he goes That's all black. I'm not even kidding he was saying he.

does all the [ __ ] VFW gigs man yeah. we had all those guys in Long Island. like the mailman yeah. I like that type of guy who's like pick. up your [ __ ] mail I know it's EBT. you're like Jesus Christ what is wrong. with you yeah you ever watched Dr dirty. though I do find him actually really. funny have you ever seen Dr dirty I know. he's alone. he is very by the way he's inappropriate. but he's very funny yes yes it's very. funny he I mean he's does some crazy. [ __ ] out of control.

does his ticket size Footers in Tampa he. goes Obama care how many [ __ ] signed. up for Obama care and he's playing the. piano I signed up for it I love it and. in Tampa they're going wild yes and it. is it is I mean listen it is fun at the. gang bang he thought that gang bang song. at the gang bang oh it's great I don't. give a [ __ ] because he has one where he. goes like this he goes I [ __ ] the food. he's talking about Thanksgiving he goes.

because like my family's rude and I [ __ ]. the food all right that's undeniable you. can't get mad at that no you can't get. mad at that that's what Bros should have. been right what if prose was just gay. gays being racist which we all know they. can be right gays can be racist [ __ ] not. me but what if Bros was just gentrifying. gay guys on the citizen app going. complaining about you know the turn.

things are taking. you see that movie that might have been. fun that might have been fun just gay. racist they were too worried I think. they were too worried in this movie to. go all in they should have went all in. well things now have to be you know. ridiculous I think things have to be. crazy so I think that like when you're. doing a movie things have got it they. gotta rise to the time so the times are. so crazy we just got out of this. pandemic and it's crazy and Trump was. the president like you got to put out a. movie that's [ __ ] nuts right the. trailer's got to be so over the top.

crazy the people literally have to go I. can't believe they made this I gotta get. to this theater I cannot before they. take it out yeah if if people aren't. going I can't believe this was made. right they're not gonna go see it with. Babel you only need 10 minutes to. complete a language lesson so the. reality is everybody wants to speak. another language I always wanted to. other language learning apps use AI for. their lesson plans but Baba lessons were. created by over 150 language experts and. voiced by real native speakers not. computers I don't know if natives a term.

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fun it's fast it's easy it's cheap it's. real it's important it's it's gay it's. straight it's trans it's beautiful it's. old it's young black white brown it's. indigenous all the things that it needs. to be do it no discrimination here just. a lot of opportunities to learn money. earn money earn money not learn money. earn money earn money and I gotta say. they gotta stop with this like because. it's clear that people it didn't fail. because people were homophobic I think.

but it's like but that's not going to. make me see it more that's gonna make me. hate you more you know people that kind. of see it because they knew there was. too much [ __ ] in this movie now I'm gonna. go yeah I'm gonna go see the come movie. why did so many people watch Two Girls. One Cup right no one really jerks off to. that no but you've got to see it it's a. novelty it's a novelty yeah show me the. come movie I say I think that's what. else is going on with you besides gay. movies. you have a child does that does that do. you.

do you automatically love them. it's drugs yes you do it's not real love. it's drugs you're it's Evolution you. want to [ __ ] try drugs Evolution that. keeps humans alive you love them in this. level that is I'm a creep like I stare. at him when he goes to sleep they're. amazed he exists I'm I kiss him on the. lips I'm not gonna give a [ __ ] I just. like if you're unless it exists it's. weird but I mean love I wish my parents. felt that I'm sure they did for a period.

of time in their defense they're. probably like yeah no one thinks that. little baby becomes a podcaster and. talks [ __ ] about us for seven years. right that tests anyone well that's the. kind of thing reasonably me now having. this kid this is probably too serious I. kind of started looking back and being. like Oh man my stepdad used to beat the. [ __ ] out of us and I was just accepting. that as normal would you ever hit the. kid no never no no you just you don't. would Greg carluzzo yes do you dropping.

right in the face well that's what I. mean do you ever think of you slip back. in a car if the kid's acting up you slip. back in a car loser you're like now. you're getting [ __ ] up. and will you threaten I'm like that will. you be like Greg carluzzo shitty. comedian New Jersey hack is gonna come. out here and I'm gonna hit you and then. maybe Mom let me tell you this Greg. Caruso looks at his kid and goes you. think you're better than me yeah and. then just jams him up my father punched. me in the face once I was in a backyard. I had ditched school for I don't know it.

wasn't cute anymore sure it wasn't cute. right my father I was with my friend. Shay I don't want to say his last name. but it is very funny so I want to kind. of say anything with Shane mcgoulihan it. was Irish it's fun and we were sitting. there and we were best friends we were. smoking pot and we were high but the. type of high where it's worn off and. it's you just feel heavy and it's not. and you can't react yep and we see my. father's tan Mazda Navajo approaching. and we run.

we run into a yard and my father chases. us into a yard and I stand up and I went. hey what's going and he doesn't say. anything he just decks me in the face I. fall down uh a guy comes running the. door and he's like get out of here and. then my dad puts me in the car and. drives me to the beach and just like. screams at me in the car he's like. you're driving me [ __ ] nuts did you. skit school again.

probably right so it didn't work that's. right punch in the face doesn't work I. dropped out of Community College yeah. you should have. he should have pulled over and go do you. want to be me right like he should have. pulled over and go I'm in a Mazda Navajo. he goes let me tell you how your life's. gonna work yeah take a look at me I'm in. this [ __ ] car you're a piece do you. want to be you know that that might have. been more effective I'm so happy you're. pulling up a Navajo pull up the Mazda.

Navajo oh still looking good tan ten. yeah I love my dad he was a good dad and. I deserved that beating Right Punch. wasn't it they didn't have the tools. they didn't know how they'd have Google. that was exactly my father's car right. there is exactly the car he jumped out. of and punched me in the face. still moving yeah what which what can. you get that for now you could get that. for about 300 bucks. for you later I mean it just might be.

fun to have it yeah because we were so. afraid of that car when you're high and. you're a young kid and you're running. around town you're terrified of your. parents cars my friend's mother had a. green Taurus the Chinese food delivery. guy also had a green Taurus we were so. happy when it was not her it was him and. look I'm an idea man so you just gotta. listen to this yeah get rid of the desk. put a Navajo you sit in the Navajo and. that's where you do the interview from. listen the show is evolving maybe I mean. that might not be the worst idea I just. steering wheel the whole time I. broadcast from a Mazda Navajo I don't.

know this guy's had a full mental break. I mean it's the worst case scenario what. you're out what 600 bucks yeah it's not. the worst idea 1500 right now yeah but. you talk that guy 1994 Navajo my. father's exact car 1600 by the way you. get that. easily 500 bucks yeah cash yeah 500. bucks you get a miles an hour but what. are the tools now instead of hitting the. kids it's never been articulated to me. what the tools are that you as a parent. would utilize well I'm I'm my kids one.

so I haven't used any of them yet well. of course but like but like I could say. the tools we have Google right right so. I'll tell you this with the [ __ ] with my. one-year-old uh I'm looking things up. like I almost just gave my kid honey the. other day and my wife was like what are. you doing don't Google it and I googled. it you give the kid botulism how the. [ __ ] would I know that who would know. who would know that you just you just. hope to God back in the day like all. your kids teeth hurt put whiskey in. their mouth yeah it's like you just hope. to God that you had neighbors who were. smarter than you and a lot of people.

didn't I'm maybe thinking maybe I'll. adopt a kid but it's so hard I know this. straight couple trying to adopt and they. can't like I'm thinking maybe down the. line maybe down the line I'd want to you. know this straight couple they can't. adopt every time they go to the end of. the process and the the original Parent. school we actually wanted back I know. who you're talking about this is. heartbreaking this is heartbreaking. heartbreaking and we it's the same. people were talking about and it's. really sad so for me it's like it's got. to be difficult. to go through that entire process and. then at the end have somebody go.

actually. we want I think you should adopt like a. like a slightly older kid some kid who's. someone with a problem yeah I think. you're the perfect dad for someone to. like yeah to lose like oh this kid's. smoking pot in third grade you're like. well now Tim Jones my dad yeah and yeah. that's a fan that'd be hilarious that. would be great yeah they're all filmed. mentally well. but it's it's when can you when does. adopting stop.

we have one we have six months together. to make this work yeah no I mean I would. love to get adopted now I was I hung out. with some I would have met some. billionaire a few months ago yeah and I. was on his boat and I was like dude I'll. be your kid I know you know what he. would have never paid attention to you. that's how he made a billion dollars. unless he inherited it in which case it. would have been aloof and weird and he. still would not have paid attention I. think he's now that he's got the money.

he's kind of slowing down he's he's. realizing he's like that's what happens. right I realize it I'm like yeah we've. done well I've made a lot of money but. you look at your life and you go oh I. wish I had more relationships with. people that I've let fall by the wayside. right for sure you pick him up and pick. them up we're too late you ever try to. answer this guy it's hard hard to pick. it up no it's not old for sometimes it. is. sometimes sure sometimes anything's. anything sometimes it's hard call. someone to pick it up what do you want. to pick up call a friend yeah it's true. what are you doing yeah I'll be happy to.

hear from you yeah everyone I know who. knows you actually knows you yeah loves. you well that's sweet so yeah eat my ass. yeah yeah perhaps you know what I mean. yeah I was so happy to hear from you no. for sure and then the thing too I even. felt bad because then you were like you. want to come to the Pod and I was like. man we could also just. wanted to see how you're doing you know. yeah well you know I mean well this is. great too this is awesome it matters. this is the same thing yep we have the.

same conversations maybe more slurs. maybe more things that YouTube couldn't. get you know but it's the same type of. thing are you worried about the economy. you have a kid now and everybody says. you can get up articles about this. everybody says that the economy is about. to free fall into some type of like this. is all the financial people are like on. YouTube they're like the economy's about. to experience some type of Free Fall. that we've like never seen the economy. money none of that ever means anything. to me because I was born broke that's.

right live broke. I know how to be broke I like that I'll. be broke again you know I mean now I got. a little bit of money right and I'm like. ah this is perfect this is great I'll be. all right you know what I mean I just. need to make a little bit more money to. pay for daycare but now that's what. sucks with cat before I have my kid it. was like this is just like whatever but. now it's like I love but I love this. article ready is it a great article here. this is the title brief recession or. complete economic collapse what these. Wall Street veterans think it's so great.

yeah brief recession or complete. collapse which one death or torture. because there's probably people that are. saying one and then there's other people. in the article saying the other brief. hey brief recession complete collapse. let me ask you this Elon Musk yeah. four against this guy I never know I. here's what I'd like I like a lot of. things about him I think he's a little. bit of a Carnival Barker I think he. likes Fame I've said that on Joe's show. I think he likes starting the pot.

um I don't think anyone's going to Mars. in our lifetime I just don't believe. that yeah uh there was these tunnels he. was gonna build everywhere to make. traffic better I don't know where they. are but I think big picture idea wise I. liked it he likes Free Speech there's a. lot of things about him that I really. like Madam he's fun he's done you know. he's a nice guy like I was in a New. Year's thing I had no business being at. wow you bet Elon Musk yeah he's a really. smart guy right brilliant guy but. there's there's part of them where I I. kind of relate to part of him which I'm.

like maybe I shouldn't because I'm a. comedian oh right so there's a level of. me that looks at him and go oh we kind. of want a similar thing well I'm like. that's not great yeah like I think he. likes a little bit of the. having fun right he likes a little bit. of the attention and I don't know yeah. yeah yeah you're too powerful for that. you could change the world so big and. powerful but I do think. broad Strokes good right but little. everyone has peccadillos some.

billionaires throw uh kids into a. volcano. he wants people to laugh at his tweets. it's it's not the worst yeah by the way. it's not the worst thing a billionaire. has done billionaires what's the worst. thing a billionaire has done. what do you think. God I don't know I mean. probably genocide right oh yeah for sure. that's got to be the top yeah yeah we're. just wiping out massive numbers of. people for your own right business yeah.

interests I guess the worst I can find a. billionaire is done is probably pretty. easy to think about it yeah I mean yeah. yeah there's I mean you know. they're not doing enough hilarious stuff. though yeah that's the problem I did. like that the Amazon guy tried to fly. the moon in a penis it should have a. bigger penis yeah and it should have you. know but what the uh what was it called. again that his ship spaceship yeah yeah. like they're not doing a fun bit Bezos. is embracing the villain which I like. he's embracing and he's going listen I'm. bald. I'm taking everybody's jobs now going to.

be a drone no matter your aunt worked at. [ __ ] Safeway packing macaroni salad. that's gonna be a robot the Drone is. going to take the macaroni salad your. Thanksgiving pie is going to get. delivered by just like a a predator. drone that's going to drop it to you. nobody's gonna work anymore nobody needs. to I'm going to own all the grocery. stores all the retail stores you're. never gonna have to leave your house. strip malls all that [ __ ] commercial. real estate's gonna tank everything will. be Amazon warehouses I think that's kind. of his vision yeah so you can't be that.

guy and also not embrace the yacht the. hoes like embrace it yeah I can't stop. shopping yes his success is kind of. predicated a little bit on everybody you. know kind of losing a job right. everybody you know but it's not villainy. enough man yeah Hazel's building with. your head on it that's a layer there's. this layer that's coming we have layer. he has a layer multiple layers but you. can't like a real nice house with a.

couple bricks some of them get weird. weird I want to see Jeff Bezos holding. this like Jesus get Jeff bezos's house. some of them get where you start going. it's a little Tony Stark it's a little I. want some Doctor Doom [ __ ] yeah go. you're a cape I mean some of them are. right there 165 mil up there that house. right there I mean yeah it's still. respect but that's you know that's. you're doing it at that point Jeff Bezos. needs to come out in a black cloak and a. monocle and just go this is who I am now.

but here's the thing that we don't want. to we don't want to DARE them to do it. because they will do it that's kind of. fun like that's the thing it's like they. will do it we will see trillionaires In. Our Lifetime yeah we will see people. that have more money and we're already. seeing it than entire gdps of countries. we are gonna see. people we're going to see a level of. luxury that people are living in we're. already seeing space tourism. people going I want to get to space yeah. all the while we're also seeing like a.

lot of other crazy [ __ ] happening in the. inner cities where people can't get. clean water you're seeing these guys go. we're kind of tired of this planet yeah. they're that's kind of what they're. doing like all the big billionaires now. they're like listen the the billionaires. in the past weren't great either but. they built railroads they built schools. he said do cool [ __ ] yeah these guys now. are kind of like to be honest we're a. little bored with Earth let's just a. little bored what are we gonna do we're. gonna buy another house in Malibu I know. another house in the Another Hawaiian. island who cares we're bored get us out.

of here they're trying to leave the. planet that's what [ __ ] of your planet. they're trying to leave the planet and. listen one of my favorite things is like. they always ask people like they always. bring scientists and all these weird. people together and go where's Climate. Change Gonna head because we want to be. somewhere else yeah so they start. building compounds I know a big real too. says they all want compounds with their. own water aquifiers they want 50 100. acres of land we'll go to Montana. they're all going why do you think you. were going to Montana they're going to. Yellowstone I don't know that who's I. know you're talking about go to Wyoming.

billionaires really billionaires they. want space and they want compounds yeah. that's what they're doing that sucks. oh that guy's a [ __ ] yeah I mean. that's that's lairish I mean that's. Hogwarts that's nice it's where he would. live it is a Hogwarts no I want to walk. in it's all like metal you want to raise. her house but this is where Alicia Keys. live go to the razor house razor house. it's in La Jolla in San Diego I know you. yeah she lived there Swiss beats and her.

live there go to the razor house this is. where you want them to live look at the. Google image of the Razer house right. here that's what you want the razor. house that's pretty cool like that type. of just Stone and glass Google Mustafar. this is where I want to be this is where. I think Jeff basil should be interesting. m-u-s-d. where is this. Mustafar well you'll see okay. um this is the kind of [ __ ]. this is where people this is where this.

is where the Darth Vader lives. it's it's just a lava I forget it how. much of a nerd you are which I love this. yeah yeah so you you were a lava hump a. little lava home that is cold there's no. windows and there's no one else on the. planet yeah just death. but it's like here's what I look at. here's what I think about every now and. then and maybe it's better maybe what. he's doing is better because you walk. into a supermarket and you see somebody. with Down syndrome and you're making. like they're putting the potato salad in.

the thing and you say to yourself maybe. they shouldn't have to do this and maybe. Bezos is going to free them from that. right and or you'll see a woman who's. like a hundred she's really old and. they'll be like she's worked here 47. years and we love Irma yeah and and Irma. celebrated her 40th year with the HEB. grocery chain last year she's seen her. kids go to jail and her husband's two.

husbands die and she's just still. walking with a hump where she's almost. fully uh uh uh a [ __ ] horseshoe. upside down and she's just walking. around the deli counter and have you. ever asked any of those people for help. because it's sad and it's hard but. sometimes you need to find something and. you ask one of those people for help and. it's literally like they're like oh. and you go hi. do you have any Pepper Jack and they go. and they're just emerging from like this.

very scary sad place that you're and. you're like and there because at that. moment they were in like some days and. she's remembering when she could dance. and when the president wasn't black or. whatever and she's she then comes out of. it she goes and then a lot of times. they'll just point she's just gonna. and then she just keeps going and it's. hard so maybe grocery store because some. of the most disturbing things I've ever. seen in my life have been an American. chain grocery stores I have seen things.

in a Publix that have should that have. sure I'm a cokehead my mother's a. schizophrenic. um I was a closeted gay guy I was 25 I. was a drunk I had a house at foreclosed. on I was a mess right and all those. things are still in my head and I hung. out and cracked I've seen like people it. not at their best let's just say I've. seen people that are not at their back. sure their mother's still lying in a bed. like out of it and all that [ __ ] and I. deal with it with humor and I try to do. but it's it's [ __ ] up.

the things I've seen in a Publix outside. of Orlando. have scared me on a level where like I. go maybe Bezos is it wrong to just get. rid of this right to just eliminate it. to where because the things I've seen. the types of people that just emerge. when you say eliminate you mean uh how. are you it just comes the food just.

comes you don't see a guy who's dope I. thought you meant eliminating them as. people I saw a guy in Publix just I. don't mean eliminate them as people but. I saw a guy in the Publix to sunken in. eyes blue he comes out he's still got. his hood you know you see the thing with. their their half dressed like they're. working at the deli counter but then. they also have the hoodie yeah and he. comes in with the hoodie there's a hand. he's tatted up and he's got to put on. the plastic bags yeah honest and you try. not to look at the hands because you go. I don't want to look at those don't. touch my hands you don't want to look at. the things and the arms because there's.

things that have happened maybe and he's. just kind of out of it and he's like. what's up man and he's just scooping. stuff and he's trying to weigh it out. and you go like he's like this is this. is tough yeah yeah yeah this is tough. yeah this is tougher because it's his. first job out of rehab yeah it's and. he's still any and he relapsed three. hours ago and he's [ __ ] up. and he's in a Publix and you're staring. at him and you go hey man I'd like this. I'd like that and he's just staring at. you and so some of those things I do.

where I see mentally impaired people. working and I go they shouldn't have to. work right and everyone goes no they. like it that's our country it's like. they actually like it gives them a sense. of purpose does does it sure but I've. seen some things in those stores where I. go if that's what he's eliminating. it's okay maybe it's okay maybe everyone. just needs a stipend that can live in. their house nobody really likes jobs I. think food and that [ __ ] should just be. easier to get I mean it's crazy does. anyone want to work at Marshalls does. anyone want to deal with me working.

walking in going do you where's the big. and tall and they go I don't know dude. it's a few shirts on the floor find it. or not it's like does anyone want that. gig you know get the robots those jobs I. want a robot to size me up at a [ __ ]. yeah yeah look at this look at this. create a blood-covered man walks into. Florida Publix after stabbing two people. it's where people go when they're at. their lowest point I just found out. about Publix and I really knew about it. yeah I've just been informed of this and. they have a great clubs their sandwich. is fine it's okay people make way too.

much out of the Publix Club you know. it's chicken and whatever and sauce they. they put it in a bag they take the. chicken cutlets they cut them off they. put them in a bag with like Ranch and. buffalo sauce and then they shake it and. then a woman like shakes it and then she. pours it onto a very soft bun and rolls. it up and it you know listen it's not. the worst thing in the world but people. really get excited about this and maybe. if Bezos is getting rid of this like. maybe if he doesn't want this anymore. he's like getting rid of them as people. are giving them money so they can.

survive you keep saying getting rid of. them as people I'm just confused on what. you're saying he's eliminating them as. like as workers oh okay so so in a good. way Mullen used to always tell me about. this [ __ ] fully luxury automated. communism or whatever where Ubi they all. just Ubi right they all just get look. man shot by Deputy after trying to enter. Green Acres Publix. while armed has died I mean so it's like. it it maybe we don't need this anymore. yeah no I agree maybe it's gotten to a. point where Bezos and his wisdom has.

gone how many more stabbings do you want. to see. how many more Trails of blood in the. Frozen aisle do you really want to see. before we're done and if that's the goal. and then also these retail stores lately. I've been listening to a lot of Harry. Potter on audiobook and it's been great. one reason it's been great to listen to. because I use my raycon wireless earbuds. I mean these are perfect they have. optimized gel tips for perfect in-ear. fit they have a 32 hour battery life.

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the fat store it's horrible yeah yeah. it's it's bad and that's why I just. hired a trainer I don't want to go to. that store anymore yeah you see guys are. 500 pounds they just they get this big. shirt it's like a 7x it's just like a. tent that goes on them and then it just. has like the Ralph Lauren polo logo that. they've blown up to 7x it's pixelated. it's the biggest Polo you can't even. tell it's a horse you don't know what. kind of animal it is you can't tell it's.

a guy in a pores yeah and it's just this. big guy and he's waddling around and. he's always got like some somebody with. them yeah kind of like a wife-ish thing. like a woman there who's like yeah it's. tough yeah yeah it's tough that's why. the fat activist movement like I don't. think fat people should be disrespected. but like it's hard right when I watch a. 19 year old kid walk into DXL and he's a. big boy yeah and they're trying to and. and his mom's got there because they're. trying to make him feel good for the. prom and he comes in and he's big and he.

knows that prom night's not ending with. [ __ ] he knows that no matter how good. he and the mom will say cute things. she'll be like well this is for the. ladies yeah and he's like listen I have. a rash I have a rash on my inner thigh I. have pustules you know what they are. they're exploding and goo is dripping. down the my thigh and the mom will. always be like you could look good for. the ladies and he's like okay and he's. got this like five acts four accident.

it's hard and I know me and you we like. to eat sure but it is difficult so maybe. that short store should not exist yeah. yeah yeah if they could help out that'd. be great it's always a very friendly. like Jamaican woman when I walk and. she's like how you doing I'm like I'm. I'm still here yet let me know if you. need anything oh you look good in that. I'm like no I don't yeah but she's sweet. yeah so maybe it's like instead of. getting mad about Bezos it's like maybe. the things that he's taking away we. would just be better off in our houses.

sure yeah maybe not no I I agree I have. nothing more to add you know I don't. know. it's just. it's just like Commerce in America is. not fun right Commerce is not fun. anymore like there's nothing like if. you're hot what's addiction now if. you're hot and Rich everything's fun. yeah you could go to Christian Dior and. they're like. and you go yes but for most people yeah. going out and trying to find anything.

it's just not a good time dude I had to. get this outfit for this TV thing I was. doing and everything looked bad because. I'm fat and it was not the jacket I was. like I just don't look at 11 jackets. it's like right you don't it's not the. jacket dude you just gotta get some kind. of sheepskin to cover your whole [ __ ]. body there's a point where and it's just. not a good point in it in the in the. life of a body. where any this shirt right now I have on.

doesn't even like it's bunching and. weird and it doesn't like it's like not. there's a time when a body begins to. reject the Garment yeah. the body rejects the Garment the body. goes. no yeah we can't this is a 3X my body. doesn't care. it will not. appropriate way we're not going to help. you look better get your [ __ ] together. man we can't a shirt's not supposed to. be this so they go we've added Fabric.

and we've added elastic but it's not. gonna fall on you so the saddest thing. and I've done this is watching fat. people. try to look. good because the clothes themselves just. actually don't work you know who pulled. it off and bring this back and they. don't pull it off because I can't ever. yes do this but you give me a New Jersey. fat [ __ ] Italian yes they have their. look they wear their things they have it. and they do it and there are women that. want that yes not me but I know if I.

wear an Adidas tracksuit a cop is going. to come up to me and ask me for a little. of her taste yeah you know what I mean. so I can't do it you know what I mean. but like they they are pulling off fat. there's not a lot okay. billionaire and he can do it but here's. the thing if DJ Khaled couldn't dress. the way he dressed if he had to work at. Geico yeah it's tough. yeah because DXL is not DJ Khaled DXL. it's the fat store I don't know I. remember uh.

tall and fat oh no that was uh it's that. yeah yeah it's tall and fat it's all in. fat they call it they used to call it. casual male now they're called DXL bring. that up bring that up. solve for fit by the way expertly. crafted built better design of it solve. for fit it's an equation. this is an equation fat f-i-t look at. this look at this we don't just size up. we size right. and these are by the way even the models.

in DXL it's like half of them are dead. some of them are like doing active some. of them are like doing active things but. not really like it'll be three guys. standing by a campfire it's still weird. dude it's it's one of the reasons like. look at that right here is a perfect. example just four morbidly obese guys on. a beach this just passed out just four. really fat guys that decided to start a. bonfire I've never had a fat friend of. mine call me and go let's start a. bonfire on the beach yeah it's like.

let's go nowhere near the beach yeah. fully clothed. at DX now I remember DXL my bad my bad. you know what this is I did I do I do of. course I buy my clothes at Target now. yeah that's good too Target you know. that yeah no no that's fine you know but. it's like the experience. for most people yeah in the retail world. yeah it's not fun I just want to go in. and get out yeah you know what I mean. yeah I buy a shirt that looks great I. look at a picture of myself and I go who. let you out of the house it's like old. divorces selling perfume that's fine.

it's just you know young foreign women. trying to get you excited the old. department store used to be fun oh it. used to go into a Sears you get a. refrigerator a car stereo yeah you talk. to some guy about a diamond ring it was. great it's all dead now it's all dead. you walk into a place first of all every. Mall you walk into there's a Dick's. Sporting Goods it's massive yeah. you walk through that and then you go to. like some. department store everyone's uptight you. can't sit on anything they start yelling. at you.

you know it's you're it's in some. decaying Mall. you Shuffle in you look at you look at a. chair they're like it's 900 I mean it's. just ridiculous I went into a I went. into a Macy's like last week yeah and I. was like I gotta buy a gun. I should just carry a gun for them or. for me for somebody else it's coming. yeah it's all coming I got to defend my. family this is the sign yeah you know. how many you know what I think about DXL.

is how many capital Riders you. because that's a real DXL commercial. like how many capital Riders were in DXL. here yeah how many of those guys were. just that's the real commercial right. solve for fit change your country it's. all for the capital what else what else. are you excited about I'm here doing. Cordon I'm doing courting tomorrow how. [ __ ] awesome is that yeah I'm excited. about that that is amazing people say I.

have completely given up on my dreams. yes uh they say Don't Stop Believing I. say Stop Believing right once you stop. believing yeah then people go hey now. they do it so just give up on everything. you've always been insanely funny you're. one of the funniest guys to hang out. with oh that's very simple um Everybody. follow you. Friday night Craig of a podcast can I do. that no no of course yeah. oh yeah no I have a podcast Friday night. Greg I I need to start paying for health.

care for my kid so if you could listen. to that don't it's not even don't even. listen because you're entertaining by it. no just know that a child because it's. the right day care it's the right listen. it's the right thing to do there's a kid. and if you're ever in town I'd love to. have you come on no I'm going to be in. town we also don't have to come do it. either I just like to be around I'd love. to be honest I'm in town more often now. yeah down here in New York we'll do it. but now I agree with Bezos a little bit. now where it's like all right. as long as the people are given money.

yeah the people are giving money because. I think if you told that old woman it's. on us. I saw a guy come out of it it was I was. a Stop and Shop and he came out I have a. distinct memory of this I was like six. or seven he comes out he had. elephantiasis or Titus out of his face. Horrible no he had like a giant elephant. tusk right and the manager came running. and went you gotta go back and like. threw him back into the like he was like. cutting meat or whatever he was like a. thing and I remember being like it was.

horrifying for me but then also the. knowing now it's like Yeah man they. would force they wouldn't let that guy. leave the cold storage of the amp what. did he want to do just bleed out just. wanted to see humans oh he wanted to see. people he came out bleed out I thought. he was just gonna like make a laceration. try to drain his head. that's the one of the worst diseases is. there's elephantitis yeah that's rough. any complaint you have in life right is. immediately imagine but that's maybe why.

we need to keep these doors open so you. can go and see people with elephantitis. and right things are fine and the thing. too is the more you see them I used to. think that's uh midgets is that not the. right word I don't know I apologize yeah. so none other guys little fellas it says. Bros. we just call them Bros I used to be like. weird but the more they got in the. comedy and the more you see people. around now I'm seeing hot ones and I'm. like ah [ __ ] a bunch of these you know. what I mean like you just need to see. more of all this you're married now so. well that's why I'm like in prison I.

look out yeah I will [ __ ] anything not. not literally do it right but of course. yeah no there are there are there are. did you look up hot [ __ ] we got them. looking up hot midgets smoking hot no. there's tons of little people that are. very attractive right you just gotta get. used to it I didn't like Asians they. have a DXL and I don't know what it is. but I want to find it like they. absolutely have a DXL there's got to be. a little bit. oh there's a tiny XL I'd like to argue. that uh uh I just said uh I used to not. like Asians and didn't get to finish. this episode I'm sorry so I just threw.

that into the world no no no keep going. keep keep going I didn't even hear it. only because what was it about them the. organized it seemed organized no but I. met my wife and then all of a sudden. right I started seeing eight now they're. all so hot to me you have to be around. you have to open your eyes I met my wife. and then I started seeing Asians I never. saw them before and then you open your. eyes. well you were Greg carluzzo yeah he. didn't like it Greg cart luzo doesn't. explosions married one Greg stone is a. is a father of an Asian baby kind of.

right kind of no yes is where my son is. Asian where is the social media people. to follow you uh you follow me on. Instagram Greg F Stone Greg F Stone yeah. Greg Epstein just type if you just type. Greg Stone comedian yes that's how you. get it you know in Google you know what. I mean yes very good I appreciate it. we'll see you soon I'm going to Romania. but then we'll be back thank you folks. good night.