Biden's SOTU & The Lazarus Drug | The Tim Dillon Show #383

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim. Dylan show Joe Biden looked good he did. he looked very good I mean he's old we. know he's old but whatever he's on. whatever uh drug that they have him on. is working it. worked you know I mean he was a little. overboard with like Russia marching. through Europe and I'm not commenting on. the substance of what he said but the. the aesthetic was like this guy came to. [ __ ] party.

he was doing crowd work he was going off. script going back and forth with. marjerie Taylor. green I didn't know if he was going to. be yeah he had a couple of flubs that. were troubling but we're used to them. it's all about getting people used to. the. thing everybody gets used to the thing. that the pre like uh George W bush also. couldn't speak.

and he would make up words and then it. just became like oh it's fun it's. fun you know so his Biden's thing is GNA. be you know every now and then he's. gonna. go you know he's GNA stop he's going to. look like he's dead he's going to search. for a word he cannot find and then he'll. eventually get it and you're going to be. kind of hanging on in that moment there. was a few times during the of the Union.

where you were like it's almost done. it's almost over come on you got this. you got it and you were hanging onto his. word you know you're like whoa what are. you going for you he goes you get on a. plane we go to I'll take you to Moscow. and then he goes well not Moscow he goes. but but he goes maybe Moscow like he he. doubled back he saved. it so that's what's going to and in the. debate I mean woo the debates are going. to be just wof.

like hanging on for dear life to every. word he says but it's made him kind of. exciting. again his ability to go in and do 90% of. it and then the other 10% you're you're. like how bad could this get how off the. rails could this get kind of makes him. exciting and you're kind of like oh it's.

kind of interesting because there was a. few times there were a few moments. during a largely. coherent speech there were a few moments. when he it was deer in. headlights he didn't know where he was. going he didn't know why he had arrived. at where he. was he was. lost you know you could see it you could. go he goes how did I even get here here.

forget like where I go next how did this. happen you know one of them was when. margerie Taylor green was like say her. name and then he said the name of the. woman killed by the illegal what's her. name Le uh ly Lacy Lincoln. Riley he's like look look at Riley kill. killed by an illegal and then he was. lost for a minute because he's like [ __ ]. how did how did this happen do you have. that moment I think so yeah here one. second let's see if we have that moment. cuz for he like how how am I here how.

did I get to Lincoln. Riley but all in all a a uh phenomenal. job from a a guy who is a corpse. whatever drug I think it's called The. Lazarus drug I think th this is a drug. that they put people. on at the. end when it they're in like it's stage. four but they still have to be the. president like this is the final this is.

what they've got make no mistake what he. is on is the best they can. do that guy at that. Podium is you will not get that guy any. other time you might get it in a. debate did you see when he was having. ice cream talking about Israel and Gaza. you're not gonna get that guy in the ice. cream shop you're not getting him in the. Oval Office when he kind of doesn't know.

what's happening you're getting him very. very. rarely that level of energy that level. of. clarity except for. again a few because it nothing's. perfect no drug is. perfect let's take a look at. this not really. [Applause]. I here he goes go to the.

pin go to the. pin Lincoln Lincoln Riley an innocent. young woman who was killed by an illegal. good he says illegal that's right but. how many thousands of people being. killed by. legals to her parents I say my heart. goes out to you having lost children. myself I understand good he brings it. back to him how good was that no but. that was good I was shocked I was on the.

couch going who the [ __ ] is. this L lard Riley then he say she was. killed by illegal everybody's like okay. and then he's like then he brings it. back to him he's like and and and and I. my heart codes out to you having lost. children myself and everyone has to. quiet down but then he's kind of now. watch can we watch a little more because. now he kind of doesn't quite know where. he is right after that moment right. after that moment he's a little.

confused he's a little. befuddled cuz you know you interrupted. his. flow he's been practicing this. speech you know every single day and. they interrupted him Marjorie Taylor. green interrupted his. flow and then he's. like so then the moment after that he's. a. little all over the place like he's not.

but I mean I was shocked it's not about. him it's not about. me I'd be a. winner not really there it is I see. there he goes where is he where is he. what do you get get the pin get the pin. get the gavl Morgan and Morgan Lincoln. Lincoln Riley that's right an innocent. young woman who was killed they should. always have things for him they should. always have.

and props for him the way parents I say. my heart goes out to you having lost. children myself pick. something but look if we change the. dynamic at the border this is right. people pay people people pay these. Smugglers 8,000 bucks to get across the. border because they know if they get byy. if they get by and let into the country. we're there we're almost eight years. before they have a hearing that's. correct and it's worth the taking the. chance of the $8,000 yeah we're there.

but let's start to wrap it up if it's. only 6 month 6 weeks whatever the idea. is unlikely the people will pay that. money come all that way that they'll be. able to be kicked out that's right okay. so it's it's moments like that you're on. the edge of your seat going where will. it. go but I like the idea of he he has a. pin during the debates give him visual. aids give him him props let him pick.

something up and remind himself of what. he's talking about if he has to. reference somebody who was murdered put. make a pin for all of the things he has. to re China should be a pin he picks it. up and goes China Taiwan taiwan's a pin. everything should be a pen I like him. with a visual aid he likes it he needs. it I want it I like him going to like a. a g esque bag if you will pulling out.

props pulling out things here we go take. a look at what I got he's got a big map. of the Border he's he gives it to cala. there you know he's got a big map this. is a good gag it also buys him time he. you know he's on a. delay and the drugs are only working so. well so any type of you know prop bag of. wacky G gadgets he can bring out during.

the. debate is absolutely essential to keep. this on track so I love him with this. pen what a gift Marjorie Taylor green. gave to him she didn't even. know look at her she's covered in pins. margorie Taylor grain she's got every. pin everybody everybody who's got killed. by an illegal uh Alien margerie tayor. green has face on a pin by the way what.

store is that a store I can go to in. Florida and just buy dead people pins. that were killed by illegal aliens. there's got to be a store she's from. what the Georgia she's the senator. congresswoman whatever who cares is. there a store in Georgia where uh people. that have been killed by illegals you. can turn them into pins how does this. work what a fun. carnival attraction to just be able to.

go and go hey I'd love to put this face. on a pin and they go oh is that yeah who. is that is that your wife no it's a girl. who was killed by an. illegal. oh it's a fun carnival attraction any. death that you want to politicize in. this country there should be a place for. you to go whether it's a kid who got. shot at Sandy Hook or this poor woman. who is killed by an illegal you should.

be able to make them into a snow globe a. lava lamp a pin you should be able if. you if you you know maybe you I mean. really you could do everything in this. store you could have like uh you know. the uh targets you can make people's. faces targets if you don't like but no. dead people whose deaths you want to use. as political pawns you should be able to. make them into trinkets. and things to hand out keychains if if.

an illegal immigrant kills me please. make me into a keychain please for the. love of God make me into a keychain and. hand me out to these uh you know uh. whoever these are these Turning Point. USA people what who's ever excited to go. to these conventions make me a keychain. make me a Nerf maybe shoot Little Tim. Dylan balls out of a Nerf gun figure out. a way where I can live on through a kind.

of uh really. schlocky you know um knickknack it's a. knickknack it's very interesting to just. have the pins of dead PE do you think. Margery tayer green puts any of the pins. of the kids who've been shot in school. shootings on probably not right and then. the Democrats because the Democrats have. all those pins of pins of all the black. people who've been killed by the police. and the school shooting people and then. the Republicans have the pins of all the.

fetuses that have been killed I mean. that's you got to just do one pin per. whatever 10 million fetuses right that. these [ __ ] have flush down the toilet. in in their part in in what they believe. so you it's just got to be pinned to pin. to pin and I'm all for it man I'm I like. this idea of turn because we know in. America that it. unfortunately people are going to die in. ways that we are going to then. politicize this is just what happens say.

her. name so what we have to do is find a way. to make those people into you know fun. souvenirs become a souvenir die in a. political way become a. souvenir be handed out during a. convention become a pin why not do. it I want to. thank the good.

people of Arizona and I want to say. you're. welcome I want to thank them because. with very little resources very. little uh the citizens of Gilbert. Arizona were able to. push the police to arrest seven people. in the murder of this kid Preston Lord. that we talked about on this show. and I want to tell the citizens of.

Arizona I want to say that you are. welcome. I I don't I don't need a pat on the back. I don't need but let's be very. clear this is me I did this let's be. very clear about this I sounded the. alarm. Bell nationally for. this that's what happen I don't need.

someone to come over and call me a hero. or write an article about me or make a. documentary about me or say that um you. know they're amazed at how how much of a. humanitarian I am I don't need to stand. on a stage with an award but let's be. very. honest I was the one pushing this story. and yes cuz it is cuz I want to make a a. a film about it partially only partially.

I also want. justice but I was the. one and people said to me why do you. care about this story why does it matter. to you I'll tell you why I'll tell you. exactly why and I'm glad you. asked I'm a capitalist and I. believe in things I believe they I I. have virtues that I believe in. when I.

heard that these low. rent Taio gym owning people or. whatever were trying to cover up a. murder of a kid I'm like you don't get. to do that cuz you sling smoothies in. the desert dummy you only get to do that. if you're a real blue blood.

Elite you want to drive off a bridge. with a chick in your car your name. better be Kennedy you want to go awall. on the Vietnam War and then when people. find out all of the um all of the. buildings that house the documents that. they could prove that and end up going. on fire your name better be. Bush if you are not Elite I do not want. you covering up murders because I. believe in the country I live in do you. understand that or do I have to explain.

it again to you I will not let the final. days of this. country okay uh the end stage of this. Empire I will not let the history of. this be written by people that own. smoothie cafes in Arizona you will. not you will not be getting your kid out. of trouble they will go to jail they. will go to. jail now initially we made this into a.

whole Mormon conspiracy that wasn't true. that wasn't true but it took the heat. off the. Jews now so never question my motives do. you. understand everybody's like wait are the. Mormons covering up a murder in Arizona. and then just you. know stadiums of Palestinians just I. didn't intend it wasn't my intention. it's what happened. but Sam Harris made a good point Israel.

calls them all first which I think is. nice Israel actually calls the phone of. every Palestinian they're going to kill. this is actually true many people don't. know this they call them up and they're. like. hey what's. up we're gonna bomb. you soon and it's a nice I like that I. like it I thought I thought they weren't. doing it but they do they call they text. they send just a couple of fire emojis.

watch out couple of fires emojis it's. nice it gives PE it's. respectful but this whole this uh the. reason that I got so invested in this. case is because number one Injustice. everywhere is a you know whatever that. is thing the threat to violence and what. did Dr King say or. Shakespeare right the cops whenever. there's a cop beating a guy here's my. point point my point is that even these.

rat people that live in this sand hell. this sand pit where they think they have. my they don't deserve to be. killed you know what I. mean so the reason that I got involved. was because I saw that there were there. was not a national figure leading this. movement trying to hold these people. accountable these a goons kids these. white kids white demon devil kids.

does no one watch this part of the show. where I'm crusading I for the. imprisonment of white children does no. one does somehow they ski this part and. they only listen to the parts where. somehow accidentally I say something. glaringly. racist because I had a bad experience in. a tropical cafe or something and I'm. holding someone's got to be held. accountable that doesn't look like me. but the point is no one listen I want.

these kids I I was disappointed that. they're not going for the death penalty. because I I think it's funny I love a. good. bit and you know these kids are in high. school they're 17 18 but they're adults. that's the. line I say kill them if you can convict. them kill. them let me follow it up with this as. well. get renters that's the kid can I say.

their name now if they sue me I'll sue. you back I mean we can beep it but his. name's in public record yeah if you sue. me you have no idea what I will do I. don't have a family you have a family I. don't yes your family is junkies and. murderers but I don't even have those so. you have no idea what I will do I have. all of my money is reserved for these. things by the way look at the judge in. this case please is Arizona even a real. estate can you look at this judge can. you look can you close up on this J what.

is going on here with the [ __ ]. mustache of this judge he's one of the. goons he's on the. inside I watched this arraignment today. and I was I looked at this judge and I'm. like is this even a person we don't have. ad block oh it's a. central take a look at. this look at this judges handlebar. mustache. and his black rim.

glasses may I get you a seat at Big. terrific in Williamsburg. sir Jenny slate is absent Tim Dylan and. Lisa Trager will be on this. evening but that's what you. get let me tell you what needs to be. done get Renard's attorney up because. she's no [ __ ]. joke I also by the way.

I mean none of these people know how to. you know what I mean like they don't. this isn't really a state where people. know how to dress let's just be honest. they used to be cowboy It's Like a Freak. Show over there let's be let's be very. hon I know oh Tim you were [ __ ] shut. up I'm not saying I'm the thing but I'm. saying let's be very honest okay we got. this is Daria who grew up here so this. woman is now but by the way the guy. who's behind is a real criminal who just. does DWIs I looked him up I looked these.

people up he's a real criminal but I. like him you need a good criminal CU. he'll go plant evidence and stuff you. need that he's a real criminal and they. probably have something on him this. family who I'm not completely I haven't. I haven't completely even though I am. interested in Justice I haven't decided. that I wouldn't work for this. family in the few you know what I mean. like I H like I haven't written them off. you know what I mean DMS are open is.

that's my attitude on them because I. don't know everything that's going on. here this [ __ ] is good what's her name. it's Christine whan Christine whan now. here's the deal she might get these. [ __ ] off for this one of them T Talon. Talon there's two ta talin talum talum. Talen Talon they're they have all these. weird name they're trash they have dumb. names the point is this they're garbage. they're horned [ __ ] you know spiny.

toad I mean this is a nightmare this. place of course not Paradise Valley um. Scottdale Paris Val many friends many. friends um the point is this woman could. get so here's the deal here's the real I. need to try the case I need to try the. case if you bring in a lawyer a DA to. try this case you may lose this [ __ ] is. good I'm better okay the the jury pool. in Arizona will have a reading level of.

second grade do you understand the. average reading level in America is. fourth to fifth grade the reading level. in the Arizona jury pool will be second. grade okay on average which means some. of the jury will be reading it at the. level of a kindergartener where it will. be words and then the majority's. pictures okay like my godson is three. monkey he. goes you're not it's just just what. you're dealing with I know how to get.

their attention with loud outfits and. big sunglasses and big. pops they're not going to care about the. facts of the C if you think these jury. members are going to care or even listen. to the facts of this case I you got to. find people dumb enough to not have an. opinion on this by the way this is the. only news coming out of that state. literally it. so you got to find people that are so.

dumb that they don't have a strong. opinion on this you know or at least. lie I'm telling you you make. me you make me the prosecuting. attorney I'm telling you right now I. deliver a conviction I deliver a. conviction because I will put on a show. you have to put on a show.

okay and this is not to disparage the. residents of Arizona at all but you're. you're really really. stupid and that's not and I don't mean. to and I'm not saying that in a negative. way it's an I've observed that okay now. because of that there are ways that. information needs to be presented to you. okay I'm not above doing a freestyle rap. for an opening. statement do you understand I'm not.

above that being like you think you're. aoon leave the [ __ ] room you know he. killed that kid you know but I'm D you. know what I mean but you got to picture. it with kind of with a very colorful. hoodie with the kind of the 8S boom box. you know kind of really put the work in. put the effort into it he killed that. kid they stomped out his head his. parents tried to cover it up because. they think they got bread but they ain't. got bread listen to what I said like. it's got to be rhyme I'm telling you. it's an Arizona jury box it's a bunch of.

lizards it's got to be rhyme it's got to. be am I above you think I'm not coming. out with a smoke machine for my closing. statement you're out of your mind first. of all it happened on Halloween there's. a Halloween party with this kid get. killed unfortunately an RP to the kid I. pray there is a heaven and a God I. always have and and I and I I I think. there kind of is maybe I I get more. religious as I get older I don't know. what that means but I'm either getting. more correct or more in correct and no. one will know and no one can call me on.

it the point is. this I would have everyone come in a. Halloween costume for the for the. summation the closing statement and even. though that would seem very very. counterproductive and it would lose me a. lot of the people who think it's a very. heinous and disrespectful thing to do. people like dressing up. legit you understand so if I'm I'm going. to recreate what happened at a Halloween.

party I'm going to ask the jury and the. members to everyone wear a. costume. okay now this is unor people going say. to me this is unorthodox play Rachel. Mitchell this little Goblin [ __ ]. yelling at everyone on the reddits and. saying that it's it's wrong that we're. circulating unsubstantiated conspiracy. theories [ __ ] I don't get a check where. you get a. check I said you you know and I read. these reddits I don't really post on.

them cuz I don't I don't really know. enough about Arizona to say anything you. know other than it's a. hole I love this water aquap Pana. sponsor the show no the play the press. conference she had where she announced. the indictments and then she told she. yelled at the. community for going on Reddit and trying. to solve the [ __ ]. crime now here's what h yes was the were. were some members of the community wrong.

did they impune The credibility of the. investigation to a degree sure did they. uh launch uh unprovoked accusations at. members of the community's children yes. did they uh [ __ ] up things to a degree. yes. but everything you know it was the. inertia that moved this case forward was. the. community demanding they do something.

because the Gilbert. Police have done nothing for years all. these kids just attacking random people. and then one of them. died Lake Riley say her name L Lake. Riley Lake Riley She's a lovely young. woman to kill by inlegal loveely young. woman k I love fume the first time I. tried it was more FL flavorful than I. thought it felt very fresh The Taste was.

refreshing like herbal tea if Vapor was. compared to Sticky soda fume flavors. would compare to herbal tea not as sweet. but a lot more natural I like how it's. weighted perfectly balanced and. extremely fun to fidget with how. beautiful the real wooden shape are you. feel cool using it you. do start your year off right with the. good habit by going to trif nume.com. Tim and get the journey packed today. fume is giving listeners of the show 10%. off when they use my code Tim to help.

make starting the good habit that much. easier so start the E fright again but. going to The goodh Habit going to trf. nume.com ttim and getting the journey. packed today fume is giving listeners of. the show 10% off that's huge when they. use my code Tim to make starting a good. habit this year that much. easier give your fingers a lot to do. which is helpful for de-stressing and. anxiety while breaking your habit you. know so many times I want to buy tickets. to something but I just I'm last minute. I don't know what to do I'm all over the.

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and this is why I respect them. okay this woman is no. joke this Rachel Mitchell who's doing uh. handling this I respect that they they. have uh they got the penguin up here. doing this Rachel Mitchell. please I don't want to cover up a. microphone am I okay here soundwise. everybody okay um good evening everyone.

today a grand jury has indicted four. people in the murder of Preston Lord and. before I discuss the details of these. indictments let me remind you that we. are talking about the death of a. 16-year-old. boy as I have said in the past I have. spoken with his. family and they are in. agony the loss of a child is. unimaginable for most of us but to live.

it is a whole new level of. horror I do want to say. this to all of those who have continued. to post. innumerable. unfounded ill-informed theories on. social media how dare you I hope you. will pause and consider will not and. evaluate the effect that you may have. had on this. family several months gave them hope. penguin because now you are about to see.

The crucial steps of the real legal. process at work this has taken months. but not because no one was working on it. because we had to find the ring and then. bring it to M Doom about more about that. in the moment all right get her out of. here I'm just saying get her out of here. Rachel Mitchell we want the kids. convicted I want them given the death. penalty. okay I'm just saying that's not going to. be easy to do but I would like it to. happen and it I want it to happen and I. want to be the one to try the case and.

then also to kill all of. them Wall Street Journal is now uh. profiling a man who is super commuting. from Ohio to New York City every week he. doesn't live in New York um but he. basically said to himself hey what am I. Really Gonna. Do let let's watch this because this is. a good this seems like a good life New. York to get to the office on time I set. my alarm in Columbus for 4:15 a.m. and.

then hustled to the airport for a 6: a.m. flight if everything goes to plan I. should make it to the office by 9:00. a.m. I moved out of the city during the. pandemic to be closer to family and when. it came time to return to the office in. 2022 I didn't quite want to return there. were no good Apartments within my budget. and I liked Ohio because it meant walks. with my sister and short drives to see. my parents so after doing some math I. thought I could keep my living expenses. super commuting plus an apartment in. Ohio at around $3,200 a month or about. the price of a nice New York Studio I've. used points and miles to book flights. and hotels But ultimately ended up going.

over budget by 15% and relying on the. kindness of friends who let me house it. in the city I've been doing this trip. once a week for over a year I still. those places can you can you imagine. getting that call that that guy wants to. house it. again like first of all he's a serial. killer he's living in Ohio so he can go. on walks with his. sister what does that mean he's a killer. the guy's a killer he look seems like a. murderer. I live in Ohio it's nicer it means walks.

with my. sister play the rest of it but I'm not. sure how much longer I can keep this up. but for now I just made it into our. office it's 9:51 it's time to start the. work. [Music]. day yeah I don't you know I I I I. okay it's like yeah. great people commute all the. time the majority of people's life is.

commuting that's the majority of what. people. do that's really what it is it's why. people listen to this show and other. shows because people are always. commuting they're always going from one. place they don't want to be home to. another place they don't want to be work. and yeah good for him I mean. listen if he. enjoys and I'm sure he doesn't but if he. find this is a financial financially. feasible thing then do.

it do. it who. cares I'm sick of judging people's lives. you know the other way to do it on uh is. being a uh forever renter somebody. saying the average age of a renter now. is 33 years old it was 29 a decade. ago owning stuff ain't for everyone I. mean I think you should uh it should be. the goal but it's not for everybody. so you know there's a lot of people that.

don't want to buy houses very difficult. and they don't have the money and they. might not want to the responsibility to. buy [ __ ]. houses so what they do is they rent. houses you know and and here's the. deal the real estate experts said that a. portion of forever renters are of the. higher end demographic and have an eye. for apartments with large room. sophisticated Aesthetics and. kid-friendly.

amenities so basically they're like. listen we we just we don't want to. buy that's not where we want our money. we we don't. care we'd rather. rent you. know if you're if you rent you just. always. are you know you don't have that. security somebody can always raise the. price on you. you know somebody could always come in. there and go hey I mean this is happens.

to friends of mine who live in Brooklyn. they live in these little dumps you know. these things you'd never want to live in. your life you would never want to live. in these places you would never want to. live in these place. but every year they have to pay like. $800 more a year for these. apartments because the real estate. market in New York is psychotic you. would never you would never want to live. in these. places but every year they they just go.

[ __ ] it I got to do it they have no. other option that's the thing if you. don't have any other. option you know then you just have to. kind of and I think a lot of people are. over real estate anyway as a you know. people understood like you know when the. Boomers got. it and then they went on that amazing. ride with it nothing appreciated more. than real estate and very few things do. right right I mean if you have a great. run in the stock market you can but real. estate's still a very good investment.

but I think younger people don't look at. it as. glamorously because a lot of them saw. their parents get divorced and fight. over a house or they just. remember a house is a place where. somebody had a Halloween party and. everybody killed a kid in Arizona you. know like it's not always it's not. always all amazing the memories that. people have in these homes and I'm sure. they never. were um most Department buildings.

especially over the last 10 years have. been targeting a 27-year-old and they. have orange dads as the design theme I. don't know what that. means we have a Mid-Atlantic Focus. portfolio our average renter 10 years. ago is 29 today it's 33 soon it'll be. 70 soon people will live longer and they. will just rent and they will not buy a. home and and you. know because everything is so out of.

control in terms of. money I've talked about it on the show. outside of forcibly evicting Boomers. from their houses and putting them in. mental institutions and then putting. those houses on the market I don't know. what else you can do truly I don't know. what else you can do they won't stop or. retire that it doesn't seem to be. happening they certainly don't want to. sell till you're just going to have to. deal with the. apartment you. know until you regroup till bitcoin's up.

bitcoin's gone back up it's gone back up. get on the ride get the house if you. want this is not a financial advice show. if you're ever injured you could check. out Morgan and Morgan Morgan and Morgan. is America's largest personal injury Law. Firm they have 100 offices Nationwide. and more than a thousand lawyers with. over $20 billion recovered from over. 500,000 clients Morgan and Morgan has. approved proven track record of fighting. to get you full and fair compensation.

I'm telling you guys if you are hurt. slip fall car accident whatever it is. and somebody needs to be held. responsible you are losing money leaving. money on the table if you don't get. Morgan and Morgan I'm telling you right. now their fee is free unless they. win for more information go to. forthepeople.com Tim or dial pound law. pound 529 from your cell phone that's. fthe people.com Tim or pound law pound. 29 from your. cell okay this is a company that I do a.

lot of great work with and a lot of my. friends have used and are always very. happy with it um this is a paid. advertisement San Francisco homeless. steel salt and straw even they have a. favorite. flavor store manager claims homeless. deal 5 to 10 pints a. day their favorites are chocolate gooy. brownie and salted malted cookie dough. those are the best. flavors such a fun idea to be a homeless. guy eating ice cream in America you know.

to be a homeless guy in San Francisco. eating ice cream there's something. really fun about. that it's kind of like you did it if. you're a homeless guy right like here's. the two ways you know you've done it in. this country right you're like Ken. Griffin you're the CEO of Citadel and. you just own it every every city that. you go to inevitably the guy that owns. the most expensive apartment is Ken. Griffin no matter where you go. um it's just it's what he does you go to.

Palm Beach he's got a billion dollar. house you go to New York he owns a 220. million you go to Chicago he's got a. thing no matter where you are Ken. Griffin has the most impressive piece of. real doesn't matter where you are go to. Detroit he's got a fck whatever he's got. something you know what I mean Gary. Indiana what's the nicest [ __ ] Shaq. Ken Griffin has it so that's one way to. know you've made it in this country the. other way is if you are a homeless. guy in San Francisco eating chocolate.

gooey brownie why you know having fun. eating salted malted cookie dough in San. Francisco just homeless and eating ice. cream in San. Francisco those are the two archetypes. of person that you can be now you can be. Ken Griffin or you can be a homeless guy. in San Francisco eating ice cream and. you know if you work there you can't say. anything to them when they take the ice. cream you can't say anything you go okay. you go. cool hey like best case you go hey.

that's all. right okay so that's all right this is. this is the. responses all would you. like. sure and they just leave they just run. out and. leave you know and that's the only thing. you can that's the only thing you could. say if you work at salt and straw. because somebody comes in there they. grab the ice cream and they and they.

leave why doesn't everyone steal it you. know what I mean that's the real. question be great if everybody just all. like what what if what if homeless. people just stop doing fend and all and. they all started stealing ice cream from. salt and straw and they were all just. 500 lbs just going there and taking ice. cream I love the idea of that that. homeless people in between other things. are just going in there and lifting ice. cream salt and St is a Portland company.

this is their whole thing right just. give homeless people free ice cream just. do it I know the Republicans will get. mad at that who. cares you've made. homelessness you know already like a. thing that people are going to do in. your city San Francisco where if you're. homeless you get ice. cream stop with the fentel have a Sunday. start marketing that have a cone. needles for cones how about that you go. to salt and straw you give them a needle.

or a gun that you found and they give. you a nice ice cream. Sunday I don't think that's a bad. idea you come in you go hey I think this. is fent at all but I don't know oh well. thank you we're not calling the cops. thanks for turning it in uh so anyway. would you like to try our goat cheese. and olive oil and they're like no I. don't want any of that [ __ ] they're like. yeah we'll give you the brownie it's. that the homeless aren't falling for the. [ __ ] salt and straw flavors you know. like avocado ice cream the homeless like.

[ __ ] you I want cookie dough or I want. brownie I want something I understand. I'm. homeless they're like would you like to. try a new burnt fig they're like hey hey. hey hey I [ __ ] in the street you. understand give me something real I want. a brownie or I want cookie dough don't. you can't get you can't do that run that. [ __ ] on me that you run on people. that live in. houses okay I want something.

real we have like an amazing it's. actually a rose flavored hey would you. like to try it no no no I'd like to. steal the uh browny one I'm gonna steal. the brownie one and I'm gonna leave. that's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna eat. it very they probably eat it close too. that's what I like canot EAD it outside. I'm going to sit there I'm going to eat. it what are you g to do you imagine. calling the cops in San Francisco can. you imagine how low on the list of. priorities that is hi Sara from ston.

straw well there's a homeless guy and he. just came in here and he just stole a. pint of cookie. dough they're like all right well if uh. we if we see them we'll uh we'll. straighten that out we're on our. way we're on our way. Sarah right after we deal with this bus. station that's being burned down will. get on the homeless people who stole.

that pint of pistachio ice cream from. salt and straw right after this family. of tourists we're going to try to free. them from this H this uh elevator. they've been barricaded in but after. that we're GNA get right on a uh the. cookies and cream. gate. um this last article here it says the. Golden Age of the American Jew is ending. I'm not even going to talk about that's. just an actual article and I mean I'm. not how am I going to what am I going to. do here I don't think it is I don't.

think it. is I got a lot of golden Jews around me. baby except my agent and manager were. both somehow. [Laughter]. Gentiles maybe that's a lesson learned. right for. me. um well anyway Tim comedy.com if you. want to see any uh live dates we're. going to Royal Albert Hall in London I. mean what are you nuts if you don't live. in London I'd fly there we've got so. many dates in Europe but I mean Royal.

Albert Hall is really the exciting and. impressive. venue. um Saturday night come on down to. Fantasy Springs Resort over in India if. you can um stand up live Phoenix Arizona. I've said nothing but good things uh. then Belfast Manchester. Glasgow. um Amsterdam London cob Helsinki. Stockholm two shows in Dublin then San. Jose uh Port Chester New York Atlantic.

City New Jersey but yeah Royal Albert. Hall in London very exciting. about about doing that let's hope that. the Gilbert goons get their come upins. let's hope that they. are I in all seriousness I hope they go. to jail I hope they are in trouble. because I hope there's a Justice for. this kid right I mean there is. no there is nothing that we can we can. do. here.

except watch and wait and potentially. have me get. involved as somebody who tries the case. it would be a good idea though I'll get. up and I'm like ladies and gent ladies. and gentlemen of the jury many of you. are surprised to see me here they're go. they're all going who are you I go cut. it. out the reality is I have given up for a. week or so a very lucrative job as a. podcaster we pre-recorded to come here.

and to talk about this. situation because I feel like it needs. to be uh done okay. um the. facts we're g to lay all out we're gonna. lay out all the facts but I'll tell you. right now that ain't where this. lives you know you know it and I know it. you're from Arizona the facts are not. going to decide this case you know it. and I know it let's get real you won't.

even pay attention to the facts for more. than 3 minutes so what I promise to do. for you is is uh paint a picture a new. one every day so you don't forget of why. this guy needs to fry fry fry you don't. even have that anymore you got lethal. injection but the these kids need to fry. we don't kill children in an organized. way anymore in this country and we're. worse off for it yes or yes this is when. the jury start to get.

them when we used to kill children and. other children knew we were killing. these children those children knew how. to act right children don't know how to. act yes or yes hopefully old black woman. starts nodding her head we used to beat. these [ __ ] with spoons beat. them hit them but we don't do that. anymore because of the Communists uh. making them uh [ __ ] of the schools. now the whole crowd's clapping the whole. jury is the judge is like I order you to. sit down and I go and I I I will steal a.

little bit I'll go you're out of order. I'm out of this whole courtroom is out. of order right and then I bring in. strippers now there's two Arizona. strippers flanking me with a kind of. very tasteful shirts of this gentleman. who's sadly lost his life and they have. these tasteful shirts on and they're. kind of dancing and I'm like listen we. kill one kid we save a thousand fry him. fry them fry them up and then the. strippers are just going they're like. quesadilla quad I don't know why but.

it's just a food and the people in our. owner like I am hungry I am hungry so. this is what I mean about what you need. to kind of put this out there as kind of. the opening statement I said the closing. statement we have a smoke machine we're. doing it in costume but we're going to. kill this. [ __ ] these kids are running. around this town thinking that they can. do whatever they want they. cannot how do these kids have nicer cars. than the jury we should be killing them. stealing from.

them I mean this is what I would. say these are the things these are the. things I would say I don't you know I. don't know if this is correct or not. because this whole thing they said was a. 10,000 a $10 necklace gold chain. necklace led to this said. tragedy yeah it was a uh $10 necklace. here you go yeah it's crazy well in all. is this we hope that there is a some. justice here we've been following this.

case clearly but but Joey Biden baby. he's coming back a little bit and of. course we we never count anybody out. he's still behind in the polls we're. watching this whole thing closely but if. they're going to keep him on that drug. if they're going to keep him on that. [ __ ] miracle Limitless drug that he's. on from that movie were they're just. going to give him a pill and watch him. fly I mean mean that was like watching. the [ __ ] luck dragon from never-. Ending Story fly that guy became falor.

he just you watched him you like this. guy is [ __ ]. amazing he's amazing I didn't even. listen to what he was saying I don't. even care it doesn't even matter he's. like Putin's on the march in Europe I'm. like that's not really happening. but who cares you know he just starts. saying stuff that's what politics is. people just say. stuff he's like he's he's like it's like. 90 it's like World War II I'm like no. it's not but all right keep. going he goes history will judge us for.

what we do now I go you maybe but what. what I'm not going to. Ukraine you think it's going to be the. beginning of Saving Private Ryan and me. and my friends are gonna get out of a. thing and go on to. Ukraine that's not this so it's not like. the beginning of World War II I don't. know what it's the beginning of you can. fill that in on your own but it ain't. the beginning of World War II nobody I. know is going to be like. hey history is history is going to judge.

us for can you imagine saying that to. another person we got to sign up for the. military why history is going to judge. us freedom is under assault abroad and. at home it's like hey. buddy Freedom under assault abroad. Freedom's got to figure it out Freedom. better figure it out. okay we left out Afghanistan what. happened to that Freedom was under. assault then the Taliban came back in. and we were just like guess.

what put them back put him back in so. I'm old enough to know how these things. end how this stuff H how this goes but. he still again as a show it was great as. a show as a spectacle he comes out he's. like it's World War. II evil Putin Vladimir Putin of Russia. is on the move and every boy now in. World War II there were like young men. and women lisening to that going we got.

to fulfill our duty now we have the. Gilbert goons doing fentanyl. Vapes they're not enlisting in the. military to go to the Ukraine okay no. one the the we just don't have we don't. have the greatest Generation so whatever. whatever he's trying to sell he better. scale back but then he was smart he's. like and there's no American troops in. the Ukraine and their won't. be so that was good I was like oh cool. he's like it's World War II but you can.

just watch I'm like fair fair I'm hey. you might be converting me he's like. it's World War II history is going to. judge us because on what we do but we. don't have to do that much we're just. going to print some fake money and send. it over all right so I don't have to. storm any beaches no no sir Bob history. will judge us for what we do right now. so what are we going to do argue about. trans swimmers for three years while. these people blow each other up with. some fake money that we create I mean.

and then he goes on from Delaware he. leans in I kind I'm telling you right. now he might be winning me over a little. bit he's like I'm from Delaware it's the. most corrupt he basically said every. corrupt corporation's there and he goes. we're going to make a lot of money I'm. like well I. mean if this is the. party see usually with these people. they're always like they come to you for. something eventually they go and we're. we we need troops we need we're going to. raise your taxes we need to and I'm not.

saying he's good he's not good. but this speech was the most effective. speech I have ever seen in the sense. that he was like we're not asking you to. do anything you people can do exactly. what you want to. do which is get pins made of the people. that die with by the. immigrants what we're going to do is is. keep letting Putin and Ukraine blow each. other up cuz we need it the arms race.

needs it sorry the AR that's why the. Republicans are kind of quiet about with. during the whole thing they're like. yeah is the arms race kns he goes the. arms race needs it so he say World War. II history is going to judge you by what. you do right now and then immediately. he's like they're trying to take away. abortion we're like that all right there. we go now we're in you know so if that's. going to be the tenor of how he runs. this campaign like these big. proclamations and statements followed up.

by absolutely nothing I think it could. be good this is the most momentous time. in history cool what do you want from us. go play scratch offs you bums all right. go commute five states away to your job. and go kill your kids kids kill your. kids kill kills Arizona kids kill like. Riley Riley. like tipd com.com if you want any. tickets to anything we appreciate it.

sorry we were out last week but I had. episodes with Andrew Schultz and a pbd. podcast I mean God how many hours of. media you need folks enough enough plus. we're on patreon as always good people. Morgan and Morgan we have this out here. they sent us that it is it is an episode. about justice so why. not we love you and we we seriously. think about letting me try this case I'm. telling you right now I will win thank. you.