Andrew Schulz | The Tim Dillon Show #307

andrew schultz is with us what's up. everybody uh you had a special that you. sold to 4chan. they then. they then said it i almost cut you off. and i was like do we have to talk about. right away and i was like no i think. there's something here yeah because. 4chan said this is too much they did. they said for our platform yeah. it's too much and now you have to no i. don't want to talk about it right away. but i do want to say. good for you for buying it back thank. you and doing it independently thank you.

see i cried out i cucked out i gave. money to netflix for 35. listen. listen. you're gonna get your money's worth i i. owe too much in mortgages to play games. that's what i was saying before this is. like you're so smart with [ __ ] real. estate you like understand this game i. don't know you're gonna be humble but. you do understand it a little i. understand it more than i used to. because i've foreclosed on probably i. [ __ ] so much up that i'm a little. better now i'm better that's the. confidence that's right i think it's. like i'm i have this fear that if.

something goes wrong like i'm like they. just take everything like i don't. understand what foreclosure is right but. you've went through the darkest part and. you're like oh you just get to be a. celebrity after actually fun yeah it's. actually fun it doesn't really matter. nothing matters especially you might as. well buy it all new york is like a. non-recourse state so they can't even go. after the money you have in your bank. account they can just go after the house. so they can just take the house you know. you just you know yeah you put. everything in somebody's name for a. couple of years you declare bankruptcy. you wipe it out it's fun it's not a big.

deal going broke is actually kind of fun. it's liberating it's liberating yeah. what a white perspective yeah yeah going. broke is a. liberating and spiritual experience it's. my new seminar that i'm running um but. you take chances all over the place if. it's on me i feel more comfortable. taking the chance you'll do it because i. can control it a little bit more yes you. know what i mean absolutely like i can i. can work on the stand-up i can work on. the podcast i can make them. funny i can make them interesting i can.

i can actually change that i i can't do. anything to [ __ ] t i can't do. anything to a bitcoin i can't do. anything to these other assets i admire. people who just like do the research and. know what's going to happen and you were. saying the interest rate's going to go. like this i don't know anything about. that but i i can make more content the. game is that i don't either but it's but. it's pretend see pretend when you were a. kid remember you would play pretend with. people and you would make up that you. know you guys were doing something you. know whoever is the power rangers.

whatever you are yeah uh that's all this. economy is uh we actually never grow out. of that we never grow out of like. playing pretend yeah people just get. better at it and then they get to live. in palm beach. or manhattan yes or wherever and people. are just really good at playing so i'm. trying to play real yes when i should be. trying to play pretend yes you just just. hold forth on something like just. for breakfast you sit in there yeah and. you're doing a shakshuka or whatever and. you pierce the egg with the knife and. you eat it and then you go the interest.

rates and don't even have anything. planned after that even after that third. word after rates don't even have. anything planned just go the interest. rate and you'll find it you'll find it. and they don't know either yes because. they're listening to you from them they. have no idea if you're loud if you're. loud and kind of passionate you should. do a podcast like that yes i know that. would be like a brilliant business plan. yeah that would probably be incredibly. successful and people around the world. would listen to it it would be amazing. yeah it would be amazing like i would. love that if there was a guy yeah who. did a podcast where he pretended to know.

about a lot of things yeah like a little. bit about a lot of things yeah yeah and. he was healthy. and smoked weed does he need to be. healthy uh yeah because it helps okay. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah well i think. that's a great blog you think i'm. talking about joe. i'm talking about you you're not talking. about a job. but that's that's the brilliance of his. show. is that he does know a lot yeah. but what he doesn't know he just kind of. rolls with it ah you know and that's why.

you that's what you got to do. this special did you know they were. going to. [ __ ] you a little. no. yeah but. originally listen i i thought it was. there was going to be maybe issues yeah. but i showed him everything so it was. like you know what you're getting in bed. with right. and then. i think it was the trans [ __ ] with. chappelle that that scared the [ __ ] out. of them terrified people yeah and they.

said this is too much. yeah they're like we just want you to. cut these different things and i was. just like i'm not gonna do it no and i. also like. i'd never done. stand up for a network right so i never. went through the notes process right i'd. always just done youtube and instagram. and [ __ ] so like yeah. i i felt weird and i was like i'm not. about to water it down now that i have. this big beautiful thing no you've built. this thing on your own exactly and now. yeah you're you're past the notes face. exactly for sure and i felt that way and.

obviously they're thinking okay he's not. big enough to take the risk which is. fine you have to make that assessment. that's cool i'm not even offended by. that like right you don't love stand-up. like i love stand-up you love building a. business that's cool that's great i love. this [ __ ] if it was a [ __ ] movie or. something and you wrote it all and you. want to edit my line i didn't i don't. give a [ __ ] i don't care about acting i. hate it yeah i'll be honest with you. it's more personal to us to them it's a. transaction exactly so i understand why. they feel this way about it and why they. want to protect the brand sure and i'm.

sure they on some level understand why i. feel so strongly about it because this. is my whole [ __ ] identity my whole. career this is the that you put years. into this yeah people know me from stand. up right they they found my podcast. after right for sure so it's like. yeah it was very hard for me to to just. be like willy-nilly let the control. go away exactly and i'm not gonna ask. what streamer it is um i just know that. it's not netflix because netflix is so. desperate right now they would take. anything they asked me to re-cut my.

special where i say the n-word really. and because they just want attention you. cut the joke about the n-word they said. no they said can you just start. screaming the n-word what was that thing. you were working out when the guy was. giving you the parking ticket. like i saw you you were working out that. joke and then you were like just you. said it was a joke and you were just. screaming the n-word at him but you were. like it's a bit no the man i think oh. yeah yeah he's putting the ticket on it. it was a bit where i said how dare you. and word give me a ticket yeah yeah yeah. yeah what that is is i like to workshop. bits in life.

because i find that the stage a lot of. times is incredibly it's not honestly. limited times yeah no yeah it it's uh. it's good to. have a. i think. confidence in your fan base. and in yourself. that you've kind of always done you've. always done your own thing you don't. care yeah i mean that's the gamble right. that's the gamble the gamble is too we. know so many people that are unhappy. because for whatever reason you know. they feel like they're at a job.

yeah and like you also make that choice. like security is nice like people will. sacrifice freedom for security like. every single [ __ ] day so i get why. they make that decision but uh. and they don't want to do this because i. think a lot of people just don't want to. know how much they're worth i think. that's the scariest thing about this to. most people and that's why people don't. leave institutions like snl is a cozy. [ __ ] job sure right but like you. don't really know if people [ __ ] with. you or if they [ __ ] with the team the. brand exactly so like i love everybody. on the knicks and then if they get.

traded. [ __ ] them. right and you don't know if people love. you. or if you're tradable yeah. finding out your own value and knowing. and i think mike lawrence. uh comedian said about los angeles that. like. it was a terrifying city for a lot of. people in new york because they appraise. your worth immediately uh yeah yeah like. because it's all like dollars and cents. yeah it's not so much like oh you're. talented or you people come here to make. to be successful because yeah that's. what people value out here is that's.

right like what is hot that's right and. in new york people what's good it's yo. we we like. it this sounds super [ __ ] corny we we. kind of like art yeah and it's like you. like the kid who dresses cool or the the. music that is interesting and that has. value right and like even the. weird-looking fashion model is cooler in. new york for whatever reason than here. exactly right here it's just hot hot hot. so when you got hot here yeah [ __ ]. changed for you when i was here before.

that i it was very dark and but it was. fun. but it was like invisible but when you. saw the flip. yeah. for me. i would resent [ __ ]. like for me it'd be hard because. now i know we don't have the same values. sure so it'd be like okay. you like this because right you know. when. yeah that i would i would i would be. resentful yeah i i'm. i think that's a that's an interesting.

thing. i think what. what. what it is more is accepting of the game. because it's i i don't even blame those. people. they're just existing in this. singular focus how do i make it it's. just they're existing in this world. that's all been decided for them yeah. and they kind of when i had nothing. going on they were like dismissive and. then i had more going on and they were. like hey what's up. i think that's just the way the town.

operates that's the town and you can't. at a certain point you notice you can't. fight city hall but. i i yeah listen it's never been it. doesn't you know and you can choose who. you help. yeah that's true that's and that's where. them it plays it's like oh and that. person didn't respond to your messages. when you just were saying hey i really. thought your set was good right and now. they're all up your ass yeah it's like. okay. i don't have to necessarily put my. resources into helping build you because.

you might not have the same like code. yeah as i have yeah i mean that's. that's probably a lot of what i think. people. are scared of when they treat people. like [ __ ] it's that one day it turns on. them yeah right so there's a lot of. people that treat people poorly which is. never the right thing to do right but a. lot of times it does turn yeah you know. and there's many instances of that in. this business where like somebody. does shoot up for whatever reason but. people were pretty nice to me i don't. think anyone was ever a dick i think.

people were just kind of like they were. in their own lane doing their own thing. i also think i'm not as emotional as. other people get very emotional. well people get very emotional about. how they're. um treated. uh like people get very. like. you know they're easily offended or. their feelings get hurt well yeah. because they're probably insecure about. something yeah you feel that way already. about themselves right then it gets. validated right i always was like yeah. that person's busy.

that person is doing something. why should they know me. like it was always back on me and maybe. that's a. cause you cold-called. it's people. you went through immense rejection yeah. and you start to realize oh yeah that. person is picking up their kids from. school that's not why they're home at. third time it's it's because to me i was. always like if you internalize every. brush it's brutal it's brutal it's. brutal but at the same time we're human. bro we're we are human you know we're. going to internalize some things yeah.

for sure it's hard to not personalize it. it's also like but i would sometimes and. then i'd catch myself i'd be like just. what who cares yeah and then you try to. move on well profits let people convert. tim. yeah that's true that's very good that's. a who said that muhammad probably. muhammad yeah i don't know if he said. that i'll be honest. but you got to let the people who hate. it on you come around because they don't. know no better right it's like they're. just trying to survive and now you're. the version of survival so.

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all our listeners helix sleep.com. tim day is michelle wolf a muslim now. for muslim fall. is she full full so interesting yeah but. you've seen it the long dresses and the. head coverings please tell me you're. joking no i'm not i'm just asking you. i did not know this michelle's a. brilliant joke writer yeah i believe she. might be full muslim. and that's great i love it i love that. culture i love quiet women and men who. smoke and are gay kind of a little yes. but also i was just asking if you heard.

that i know i'm proud. i'm proud of her i i'm on there's like. an email that goes around when they get. one over and yeah. i'm i i didn't get that no i could be. wrong yeah i might be wrong but there. are. photos is there a better person to not. talk as much out loud. she has a voice. yeah the ideas are good if she was in. riyadh it would be. yeah walk around right keep walking yeah.

it's interesting this is quiet it's the. thing about comics we all know each. other as comics and then we forget we're. people and then when people do things. that people do which is like convert to. religion or whatever right you're. surprised yeah but a voice is a choice. perhaps a little you know like you can. choose to lean in or lean out and it's. it's a choice like i lived in spain i. didn't speak with an english accent i. spoke with a spanish accent because i. made an effort that's true to care about. the people around me you love italy you.

just got back with your wife you love. these areas. i mean i can't. 30 minutes on michelle wolf. when this is more pressing she's gotten. in two years yes the thing is. the thing is i'm just curious i'm. curious i like islam i like you too um. uh you love italy with the wife. inshallah yeah.

i hope you had inshallah amazing year i. hope you got some great gifts me too. this is great um yeah in italy how is. the pizza is it is it is it random that. like a girl with that voice dated the. guy whose name is most deaf well i think. he's the reason for the conversion. most death there we go yeah yeah. interesting you have to be all deaf to. deal with that. yeah but.

most isn't most doesn't work. italy pizza. why like it it's so amazing. i question italians that moved here i. know yeah have you spent time. never i want to go tim i should go i. know it's the map i'm like the food it's. everything's beautiful no no it's it's. what you like i know it's everything's. lovely you you appreciate yes people who.

have figured out things that's right. especially. life that's right and who spent. years trying to figure it out figuring. out warping a culture that's right like. wasp culture yes. is beautiful yes you go to the [ __ ]. what is it polo bar over on like 57th. street whatever it is everything's. worked out that's right and we know. we're putting on costumes that's right. it's like we're in [ __ ] venice. but it works and it's great and it's.

comfortable and we love it right and. italy has done that with every aspect of. life yeah i'm i'm excited man like i. want to go and i know that i want to. take you yeah i'm being honest i would. like to be taken and. i will take you yeah please i'm gonna i. would love to you want to be taken bro i. will submit myself. to your financial whims to take me to. italy you you're the guy with the homes. i want to go. um i want to go badly i mean this. sincerely yeah i think you would [ __ ].

love it and i think they're like they're. little pockets for everything that you. could enjoy like if you want some like. like i was i don't love uh [ __ ] capri. there's a place capri right right and. it's beautiful it's awesome but it's. like um. it's a little like uh. it for me that's it it it's a little bit. too uh commercially commercialized like. um. look how big my yacht is look right what. is that what what would you call that. it's a little miami it's a little miami.

a little bit too miami yeah for sure. but at the same time a little la too. it's a little l.a but it's like look at. me look what i can buy look right the. cool thing i liked about amalfi is it. wasn't that yes right it's like. i will enjoy this life and i don't care. if you are noticing me yeah it doesn't. matter yeah if you if you notice what. i'm doing great if not we don't care and. like it was cool to be at a hotel. because that's real confidence exactly. that's real confidence there's something. cool about that old money is cooler than. new money why because there's a there's.

a mystery to it yes there's a mystery to. a guy that drives a beat-up car to a. massive estate there's a mystery to. people you know because the mystery is. why do you have confidence and people. don't have confidence right it's it's. why do you have confidence and then why. don't you care about what i think about. you yes because that's the currency that. runs the world yes so how have you opted. out yes how did you opt out of that. you're all ugly yeah real rich people. are gross they're inbred. they're they're they're very interesting. look they're like strange looking none. of them are hot hot people are state.

schools right state school ucsb yeah not. even private like some private but like. a hot state school a university like a. you know a hot state school yes [ __ ]. basketball player is always going to be. better looking than a [ __ ] harvard. coder. but that that that you know as nick. mullen once brilliantly said inbred. syphilitic boy king. aesthetic of rich people of like kind of. malnourished weirdly put together uh.

there's something so odd about it and. and they they do seem some of them like. they are another species yeah they might. be yeah but they understand life a. little bit yeah and they figured it out. and it's like while every one of these. billionaires like if they actually get. it yeah if they're not still trying to. like get the acceptance if they actually. get likes right. they go to [ __ ] montana and they just. look at mountains because there's. something that taps into that like like. it's it's hard to not feel some humility. when you're looking at a mountain that's. right it's hard to not feel some. humility when you're watching a.

beautiful sunset on the side of a. [ __ ] you know bridge that was built. 2000 years ago when you're in italy. you're uh places like that what do you. think they've figured out that americans. haven't they're a lot they're an older. society they're a much different society. understood like. boy [ __ ] had a time sure and. and then they got. rid of boy [ __ ] yes this is this is. some real [ __ ] you won't know some real. for sure we all. we all if we live long enough become. bigots even the most progressive version. that's right so like italy greek roman.

empire early antiquity everybody's boy. [ __ ] everybody has a little [ __ ]. apprentice they [ __ ] them that's right. catholicism comes in. and cuts it out. they go hey we gotta stop [ __ ]. animals stop [ __ ] boys they got these. [ __ ] brothels that are in like. pompeii that are preserved well they got. the menu up there there's [ __ ]. animals there's kids there's whatever. you [ __ ] want right catholicism comes. in and then goes chill the [ __ ] out. now fast forward.

two thousand years right catholic. catholics are the boy [ __ ] right and. it's like. i wonder if there's like historian. priests that are like. do you know how many boys would be. [ __ ] if it wasn't for us right like we. cut this whole [ __ ] out we decided let. us do it it got too far let us give us a. little let us run let us let's let us. run it it's like with the union spillage. what i never like you know i sometimes i. doubt religion but yeah beautifully.

explained it. as it needed it stopped right it was it. got too far it was too free but then. also the catholic church was like let us. just do it a little. wouldn't you rather little than a lot. it's better a little or a lot a little. two boys [ __ ] or two thousand which do. you choose probably two. you know if those are the trouble if. those are the choices and by the way let. me switch it you're honestly what an. honest election. what an honest election you walk in. there and they go biden a hundred. thousand children [ __ ] let's go to the.

next guy 65 000 children and you're. going to go oh my god 65 000. but then. you have to look at your wife and go but. this guy's not raising the gas tax she. goes but it's another 30 000 boys being. [ __ ] and it's like he goes yeah but. you know how much the gas tax is yeah. yeah but it is it isn't i don't drive a. boy isn't that interesting that for. whatever reason that's like what's run. that's what's run. this society for so long what is. catholicism boy [ __ ] boy [ __ ] it's. weird that that like pedophilia has.

become you know what's the weirdest yeah. is you weren't gay so you were 25. well. i was getting rid of the [ __ ] balls. oh so you did boy [ __ ]. no no i was gay when i was younger but i. came out of the closet at 25. uh i acted. on it in my late teens early 20s okay so. you got a little piece of like what what. everybody has wanted so bad for years. well for decades for centuries no i was. under age i was of age oh so when you. were 18. yeah i was a va i was a human. you could have had like a like legal.

years but i don't think that's what they. want i don't think it's boys [ __ ] boy. it's the older people [ __ ] the boy. you're probably right yeah it's that. you're probably right yeah it could have. something to do with a power dynamic. right and not actual like enjoyment no. it's definitely enjoyment but i think. it's like it's like i think it's part of. like the thing of like well we can do. anything else so we're a lot we've been. able to do everything else we've had. orgies we've had hookers we've had this. we've had that what's next so. do you think human beings need a. governor and by governor i mean the car.

version not like the political version. the thing that stops your car from going. 300 miles per hour. yes a bumper yes we've never we've never. replaced religion. with anything. um that has fulfilled people one of the. biggest problems i think with society. now is that technology is clearly our. new religion. everybody believes it money is the. religion well yeah but technology now. every everything's so plugged into the. technology that money is becoming.

just part of technology when you say. technology you mean like social currency. you mean like likes i mean like well i. mean like. basically the entire. um. interdependent world that we've created. where what dictates our behavior does. technology dictate it or does it uh. acquiring resources dictated that's well. i think technology now is the way to. acquire resources because you can't get. a job without some type of profile yeah. you can't get a bank account you can't. get a whatever um so because we we all.

have to buy into that system. um it becomes like a religion there's. sacraments there's things like that and. i don't think that religion is. fulfilling to people i think it it's. because it says nothing about your soul. says nothing about the afterlife right. it says nothing about uh how you should. treat other people it says nothing about. these cosmic questions it just says a. lot about how to. serve yourself yeah practically get by. and serve yourself and that's why we. have you know people have made this. point a million times whether you're on.

the far left or the far right these are. all just belief systems it's religion. it's a way to get through life yeah and. to me it's like i i i think that like. you know we need to figure out. in our society if we can stay human. if there's a value to it or should we. speed up. just getting rid of this skin suit and. then and and then between the elon thing. yeah i mean because it there's an. inevitability to it it's not in our.

lifetime but like like. can we. stay human beings yeah or are we just. gonna eventually go [ __ ] it. let's just take out all the. imperfections and upload our. consciousness and just become. the sci-fi movie yeah maybe that maybe. that happens i don't know yeah i guess. that. maybe that happens or maybe we have. another like. you know middle ages and everything goes. back to zero so that could be happening. that kind of yeah that's what i think. has probably happened probably on the. verge of many times we're maybe on the.

cusp of going right back to the dark. ages i really believe that that has. happened multiple times in human history. big tech thinks they can decide for. everyone what's true and what's. misinformation question something on. youtube and you'll get deep platform. criticize our country's politics on. twitter and your posts will come with a. warning label we might not have we we. all might not have 44 billion dollars to. buy up tech companies and tell them what. to do. and they he didn't even do that but for. less than seven dollars a month you can. fight back against big tack using.

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they kind of and then they all adopt it. eventually and kind of copy you yeah and. you don't get annoyed at that because. it's the same way that i feel about the. you know people that were maybe shitty. to me it's just like this is what it is. i want you to succeed with it yeah right. it's the human nature of like please. succeed yeah like take everything. everything i do is for everybody take it. i'm 100 okay with it i want people to do. it i think it's better for comedy what's. better for comedy it's better for me. like it just it is better that more. people are good at comedy and there's.

better more people do authentic versions. of comedy because then it sets a. standard of comedy that i think is. better for the audience i think now. you're gonna see people that are waking. up these institutions seem to possibly. be waking up and going you know what. we cannot just make shows for a small. sliver of people we've got to broaden. our our appeal if this works. yeah and it's up to the people if it. works but if it works yeah. there's no more notes on comedy that's. right yeah because if you have an actual.

fan base and community that people who. actually support you. you could just do this and make more. money than you would make on netflix. that's right amazon or hulu whoever you. do with so. my my issue with the streamers is they. used to be able to give you eyeballs. yeah i did a netflix special i could get. more eyeballs posting on instagram and. youtube i did it because boomers need a. [ __ ] they need a logo boomers uh. organize the world with logos they're. like oh you on the jimmy kimmel show you. must be doing well right kids don't give.

a [ __ ] kids came up on youtube they look. at youtube instagram tick tock kids are. actually in the weird way like they're a. little bit more artsy about it because. they've been creating content since. their kids too well they're also they. care about the creator they're deeply. skeptical of institutions because. they've every single one has failed them. right the government the state everybody. the church they they've seen all this. [ __ ] lie to them over and over again no. no they also came up with the real yeah. so like we didn't come up with the real. right meaning like we saw just shows you.

know sitcoms on nbc abc whatever it was. that's all we knew so we were like. that's content right then we saw people. make [ __ ] on youtube and we were like oh. you can say that like yeah the different. institutions had this like vice had a. moment remember when vice was putting. out these documentaries initially not. when they were bought out and they. became like the [ __ ] watered-down. version. but the initial vice stuff you were like. what the [ __ ] is going on like are these. people doing heroin and why is this in. like i'm watching some guy in the. ukraine who's missing teeth like you're. talking to the taliban like what the. [ __ ] is happening right and it cut.

through everything yeah it was immediate. right and that's kind of what youtube. did and that's what it did for creatives. on youtube and it's not just stand-up. it's literally everybody everybody so. you're a product of this yes you know. what i mean so it's like. once you hear this. you can't go back to hey this is bob and. the cactus in the morning and uh you. can't do it it's hard it seems so. fraudulent it seems fake so i think what. happens right now is like. back in the day like netflix could make.

you a star if you were funny not. everybody but if you were funny can make. you star yeah now. they can't provide the eyeballs people. have lost confidence in the algorithm. because everything they suggest is a 90. because they make everything that's. right youtube don't make [ __ ] right so. if it sucks they don't suggest it right. if it's good they suggest it yeah right. so. right now we don't trust the netflix. algorithm so they can't give you the. people and if they can't pay you the. money for the people not being there. yeah you might as well do it on your own. now i don't know if this works if it. does [ __ ] work and there's another.

option please believe a network is not. going to tell you you have to cut a joke. because they know you could go make. money elsewhere right and they're going. to have to pay us more because they know. what we can actually make. i'll know what i'm worth right sunday. i'll know what i'm worth as a comedian. right who's putting out a special right. very few comics no no they might know. what they're worth like for woke points. the vast majority don't no. yeah for sure i have a lot of. conversations with people that are in in.

a business and they're. you know they're unable to fully. be honest openly about the way they feel. but they're also kind of like you know. they they look at people and they go i'd. love to work with whoever fill in the. blank name but i can't because my hands. are tied um that does seem to be. changing a little bit where they're. they're now like hey you know netflix. lost 80 of their stock price right. they've had to fire hundreds of people. maybe thousands of people um a lot of.

these streamers are are cutting back a. lot of the things that we grew up. watching have been rendered completely. irrelevant now you know whether it's the. emmys or the academy awards like people. have lost confidence in the entire. business. the entire [ __ ] business which was. one of the only businesses that america. through and through dominated no matter. what we had zero competition we were the. place you got movies music tv. entertainment and you know there were. some other people that were doing their. things in the uk and britain and that. was great too yeah i mean i'm sure.

there's other you know the asian. countries have their own thing um. but america was yet let's not pretend. that we didn't dominate for years with. that you know um and now we've fallen. off hard. and what do you mean by that i don't i. don't think we've fallen off i think our. movies suck our comedy movies are top. gun unbelievable one that's one marvel. movie or talk about comedy. whatever it is you know what i'm saying. it's the same. it's the same kind of it's the same kind. of movie when's the last good comedy. you've seen in a movie theater when's.

the last time you've went oh my god i. have to bring all my friends to watch a. comedy that you have seen in a movie. theater let me think about that you. shouldn't have to yeah in 1997 you. didn't have to i don't watch a lot of. comedies in the theaters to be honest. with you but for sure well there aren't. many i'll tell you there's not many well. you don't want to watch that's because. they don't think they work abroad and. right now without the details. dude it's all need to have enough also. because they're terrified jokes have to. be mean they somebody's got to be the. butt of a drone okay okay.

this goes back to the same thing with. yeah where it's like the fear. is reduced by the promise of success. yeah okay yeah so. if they know that a movie's gonna make. crazy money yeah it's worth taking the. risk these five million dollar comedies. that were amazing the hangover the first. one absolutely [ __ ] hilarious. that's worth it five million dollars. that's it look at look at the success of. comics on platforms like youtube and. patreon look at the success of look at. the daily wire so the daily wire has.

made hundreds of millions of dollars in. subscriptions yes and i'm not saying. their movies are great but i'm saying. there is a hunger for something that. isn't woke [ __ ] and yet the people. still don't make it they cancelled. roseanne and i'm not saying rosianne was. right to say what she said but they. canceled roseanne after she had the. biggest opening in in like recent memory. because it's not solely about the money. if it was they would be making more. content for people that voted for donald. trump the fact that they're not doing. that it's it really is ideological it's.

not simply about the money i think that. there are definitely people in this. country that are not being served. content that satisfies their beliefs. right and there are companies that are. absolutely you know everything that's. coming out now the movie fire island. is about gay guys that go to fire island. and to [ __ ] and somehow can't have fun. because everyone's racist. can you imagine that that's exactly what. it's about it's about gay people who go. to fire island to do molly and [ __ ] yeah. and it's not fun because everyone is a. big classist racist.

that's what things are and that didn't. do well. i don't know what it did it's not nobody. knows what anything does anymore but. like. you know these types of movies where. it's like we're gonna teach you a lesson. yeah that people are tired of that yeah. that's i think one of the reasons that. these companies are people are going. [ __ ] for you yeah your 40 is good. absolutely phenomenal really great. brilliant really good gay as [ __ ] not. funny super gay it's very gay.

thoughtful yes successful yes the world. stops everybody watches it it's very. good a lot of people do yeah. it it dominates the conversation yes. actually to be honest with you hbo is. no disney's doing well too hbo gets. streaming disney also gets streaming and. i think that's the thing like. netflix just fundamentally don't. understand like they don't understand. what what makes a streamer successful. right you know what i mean like it's. very simple yeah you need. laundry tv so the [ __ ] that's just on in.

the background yeah and then you need a. scripted show that people cannot wait to. see what happens next week and transform. next season yeah that's it for sure my. wife goes to sleep every single night to. [ __ ] harry potter yeah you need. something some people it's the office. but they got rid of the office yeah they. got rid of let's see the friends yeah. that is your core yeah you can't get rid. of that what i'm just what i'm looking. forward to is like i would like to see. some more. stuff out there. that is. not.

predominantly about. but you why do you want this from. institutions that that aren't good at it. because they have because they were good. at it yeah but you you know they're bad. in these institutions well because no. one can do it on their own you cannot. make game of thrones on your own daily. wire the daily wire did it on their own. yeah but i don't want it to be a. right-wing lunatic either like we don't. want that either. you don't want ben shapiro to make game. of thrones no i don't wanna i don't. wanna you don't want him to do it i. don't wanna hand come on this may be a. good point but i don't wanna hand the. entertainment industry to uh just a.

political ideologue. is a right-wing establishment did it so. a wing can do it and middle of the row. can do it it's possible. was funny because she had kurt metzger. yes and jesse klein and all these people. that would fight every day in the. writers room yes and they'd have. arguments and they'd trash you know yes. and that show they had some really. really good sketches because they. allowed that collision of ideas to. happen they had brilliant [ __ ]. writers from what i hear yeah but they. didn't agree it's good and now all of. the shows there's when they did agree. that kurt sketch was right it was funny.

right that's really simple. when they all agreed that what kurt said. was funny it was funny yeah there seems. to be a litmus test now for people to. work in this business as writers and. that to me. is because they haven't failed enough. eventually they're going to fail they're. going to lose enough money and then. everything's going to translate that's. what we hope we hope we hope we hope. that that's happening it's happening you. see it right now you see the offers that. are going on like specials from. different companies they're not offering. what they used to offer no it is going. down significantly significantly okay so. eventually they're not even going to be.

able to offer that right and. they're putting all their [ __ ] on. youtube anyway yeah youtube is you. cannot [ __ ] with youtube that's right. youtube is inevitable it's it youtube. will take out tick tock tick tock is. days are numbered interesting youtube. shorts. is. i'm never wrong you were right about. netflix it took years but i was right. about austin. what did you say about austin don't go. when did you say that i said don't go to. austin i'm not moving to austin oh i.

never heard you say yeah what is it the. other one [ __ ] the the talking app or. some [ __ ] you were writing about. clubhouse. anyway i've mentioned that many times. that you're right. yeah youtube you just can't it's fine. eventually they'll just get tick-tock. out of here instagram will probably days. are numbered that's probably gone soon. but like youtube shorts they just have. all the data you're talking about google. here like they actually understand how. to make uh what is it software hardware. they don't know how to do they're nerds. they don't have to make glasses that are. cool i don't need to take [ __ ] style. tips from a nerd right but i need you to.

make sure my phone works right i need. you to make sure that my life is easy. and they know how to do that [ __ ] yeah. and if they don't know how to do it they. buy the one that's going to do it so. youtube knocks tick tock out of here. interesting yeah youtube shorts watch. what you watch on youtube now what's the. no no for sure what's the timeline on. that. three years interesting maybe less i'm. giving myself a long yeah a runway there. yeah yeah interesting yeah you might be. ryan youtube isn't it's yeah i mean. they're they're look at everybody that. we know that's famous now they're on. youtube there's not a single person.

that's new that's famous that is not on. youtube yeah that's true like even the. tick tockers are on youtube they have to. be right youtube is the is the new tv. it's the new tv it's the new radio like. this is radio this is tv this is. everything it's just how we consume yeah. it's just right there it's curated. perfectly for us like if they suggest. you a video and you think you won't like. it who the [ __ ] are you right you don't. know you right do you know what i mean.

you gotta trust me they know you just. trust us yes i got recommended a video. of yours a couple times yeah right and i. forget what it was and it was like two. or three times it happened and i was. like. yeah there's something in this that i'm. going to really [ __ ] love yeah. and immediately it was me complimenting. him no it was just me saying you were. right this guy was just like yeah i. don't know what was this thing and then. it was like you going oh yeah it was. right no it was you just [ __ ] being. hilarious like you are man yeah and it's. i don't know i i just love it i love the.

ability that this can you know provide. for ourselves i think the big transition. for us obviously with stand-up is like. right now we're giving everything away. for free on youtube how do we find a way. to monetize these things because making. a [ __ ] special is expensive you know. cost hundreds of thousands you know this. it cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. to make a great quality special right. you can't make that if you're going to. give it away for free so how do you find. a way to monetize it is this the way. maybe but there's going to be ways where. we can do it and then deliver it right. to the people. people support it there's laws in oregon.

uh where people pay to. uh end their life end of life what's it. called you you it's euthanasia. assisted suicide euthanasia yeah i want. to do a special in and i'm not even. kidding in oregon where we take a bunch. of people that want to die yeah and put. them in a theater whereas after my. special is over. we kill them all right but not kid they. wanted that you did this in portland i'm. dead serious i would shoot every one of. you yeah yeah like as i would be.

execution because they want to die. and my whole thing is like come to my. special and then you would the state. would pay me or whatever you know i have. t-shirt guns at my shows i don't but i i. know that you do crazy [ __ ] i will bring. guns are they dangerous t-shirt guns if. they're close enough but i i don't want. i don't want t-shirts in it yeah you. want real things if it was portland i. would do it i just want i just want it. to be peaceful. for people because i do believe it's. compassionate to let someone in their. life yeah i just want to do it like for. that would be a way that i'd find an.

easy way out though like suffer. suffer with the rest of us like wait you. just tap the [ __ ] out it's a good point. but i also think there's so much going. on out there now with the you know. traffic and such that you know hey. get those ambulances off the road. you know we've got too much going on as. as a people there's just too much. happening you think that's yeah i mean. there's just too much i think that like. society is going to collapse in this. very interesting way where everyone's. talking about.

um you know like the we're we're we're. really starting to see. it's just you're so funny uh and i know. you hate success you're you're missing. you're so successful you you have all. these points that's successful people. think you're amazing. i mean is that a lot of homelessness. doesn't everyone have three i think who. do you know that doesn't have three. houses i'm not even kidding i've never i. don't know one person that doesn't have. three this is what it itself literally. you're like this many people love me. society's falling apart no if something. is going wrong it's not and it's all.

going to come you don't you don't think. there's you know you because you're. you're relentlessly positive doesn't. that get exhausting no. doesn't it seem insane yeah it does seem. crazy when you drive through listen when. you drive through all the homeless and. the tents and the wildness do you not. think a little bit that there's issues a. little. no. interesting but that will seem to most. people like you're a full entrepreneur. why do you think they're issues because. there are people living in like [ __ ]. tent there are people who have nothing.

yes but the fact that there are people. who have nothing to do you have three. houses shut the [ __ ] up about the tents. i put those. my whole point though what do you mean. you know what are you talking about me. having me having houses doesn't make. everything else i'm in the house. i just. why do i have to put them in the house. because you're you're saying that that's. an issue but it is an issue but you. don't want to do anything about it no i. don't want to just take the sociopathway.

which is there is no issue because i pay. a lot of taxes to have a dealt with oh. you you think about the money you pay in. taxes well the money we pay in taxes is. so that those issues can be alleviated. is that what it is well why are we. paying it because the government's a. mafia. well all mafias at least took care of. people did they a little bit did they. there were times. how did they take care of them well they. provided certain protection for. businesses or illegal businesses yeah if. you did if you're a flower shop you just. call the cops if somebody got the water. they would help the wife out a little. bit yeah they did take care of people.

our do the way our government is. constituted as a mafia that doesn't take. care of anybody exactly that's the. government but you don't think that's a. problem and if you ruffle their this is. the funniest [ __ ] about like what's. happening with elon right now like elon. like i have no problem with your. solution yeah which is just check out. because. let me clarify and i don't think there's. a problem with it it's not just checkout. and obviously if we're being facetious. here like i recognize there's [ __ ]. there's problems etc 100. but.

in terms of like like positivity it's. not like i'm like and i'm not even. claiming to be a good person i'm not. even a good person no i know i know i'm. just saying. get it out of my face yeah. yeah i mean like can we help the people. but also help me you want to help them. so you don't have to deal with the guilt. i want it's not even guilt it's gross. yeah it smells it's bad yeah it's it's. let's figure it out yes it's the back to. the beginning of figuring it out yeah. i'm not mother teresa who also wasn't. mother teresa that's a whole nother. thing and a whole nother point.

she loved poverty not the poor hitchens. wrote a whole thing it's true she loved. the poverty yeah anyway uh the the the. point is i just you know. do you think this thing goes on forever. you just said we're on the verge of the. dark age no what i think is. you just said we're going life happens. it is what it is how often are we gonna. say it is what it is and then not. believe it life happens you get to. create. your story on top of that. yes yes that's true i want to enjoy this. little time i have here so i'm going to.

create a story that allows me to enjoy. it the most the way i enjoy it is. realizing how dead it is buddy and how. much is decay is your family not [ __ ]. up or anything like don't you have. enough they're [ __ ] up like bad or no. not bad. i think it's bad enough. you know it's not bad enough if you're. like worried about tents. because if you had enough [ __ ] up [ __ ]. in your family yeah you would you. wouldn't worry about the tents you would. be like oh my god my my my mind my heart. my body is so concentrated like what's.

happening over here. that i don't have enough for this how am. i how am i gonna worry about my family i. have three houses i have multiple. businesses yeah yeah yeah are you. mentally ill and worried about my family. what are you talking about. my family who's paying me to worry about. my family i have a balenciaga sweatshirt. three x this is my favorite personality. three times we need to do something. about society not me but somebody no. governments those government people need. to do something about society who's. corrupt the government no no no no no no.

no no no no i need to do something it's. a false choice because you seem like a. psychopath when you drive by the tents. and you go there's no problem here no i. never said it's crazy i never said it. you said that several minutes ago. i'm also a liar okay but the point is. this i'm a psychopath. tim i'm a psychopath all i'm saying no. one is refuting now nobody is refuting. that and i'm not even saying like. we're very similar in the sense like we. got to listen. now you're like i'm also a cycle no no.

this is why it works we have to be. selfish to do our jobs. because listen yeah i spend years and. years getting funny and it's hard i have. lots of empathy i know i'm i'm meaning. this sincerely it's [ __ ] up i also. live in new york i don't see the tenth. thing as much as you guys all i'm saying. is that there's some weird cracks. like. i don't know if i can say that you can. yeah shane. i'm just i'm just saying that things are. a little. i i think it's beautiful i don't see the. tents i go to st louis and i see east st.

louis and i'm like overwhelmed because. yes i know there's people who who made. it out of east st louis yes and it's. like oh my god like what's amazing it is. that that accomplishment is mind-blowing. i grew up in east st louis literally not. even kidding i grew up in east st louis. my family i'm not even i don't even talk. about this on the show you should i was. part of the gang in east st louis yeah. yeah and i was the only white gay openly. gay guy in the gang and no one cared. because why it wasn't about that because. i shot a woman in the head once that was.

going to rat on us for selling drugs to. her daughter because her daughter were. overdeed i shot her in the head after. that everyone respected me and i made it. out yeah because they. passed all that other [ __ ] yes. i agree i'm just i'm we're agreeing yes. i'm just saying there's a lot of. problems out there yeah and we should. just talk about them at dinner. but at where like like a prime or like. uh i like the place. i'm just saying this is my that's my.

[ __ ] is like what do you want me to what. what makes you feel better like does it. make you feel better to acknowledge the. problems and do nothing about it i just. don't want your drug no no no what's. your drugs it's not my drug tell me your. how do you deal with it. i felt bad that people were getting. bombed yes but did you sure how bad. oh i mean hence bad like give me uh.

well no tense is right in my thing. because that's the thing like if you. were really honest about it it's. inconvenient to you. like and that's the real thing ruining a. very very pretty city and now you own. pieces of that city and it's a problem. and you don't want the tents there and. is that wrong. there is no right or wrong bro that's. the thing it's like i'm not saying. that i'm going to bring. like fentanyl addicts into my house yeah. i'm not saying i'm bringing mentally. disturbed people into my house yeah what.

i'm saying is seeing them run around the. streets. is not good yes. here's the thing about our good friend. steve will do it. steve will do it. is a. autistic. multi-millionaire. who. does great things for people. and there's many young what people on. the spectrum now that go how am i going. to.

get [ __ ]. drive lambos. have 400 000 watches. like all the things that make life good. and our friend steve will do it has. accomplished that. has steve ever read a book who knows can. he read a book is it important. the reality is. did he graduate school did he go to. school. doesn't matter. does he know. all or any of the presidents.

doesn't matter. he's got a rock on the wrist. knee-deep in them hoes he has one. girlfriend but still the point is he. could be if he wanted to be. so if you're an autistic person out. there and you don't know in the. neurodivergent community many of them. are fans of the show yes. and if you're in the neurodivergent. community and you want to work for a. crypto gambling website. and like live on a speedboat somewhere. between miami and the bahamas.

and just. use kids for cancer as a shield. while you dart from island to island. making deals with tribal warlords. look gold and support steve will do it. on youtube please. support steve will do it on youtube. because you know he's a real character. he's a character this guy. and he's done a lot for the neuro. atypical community the neurodivergent. community. where.

um he's a very. brilliant man. um. and he's very interesting i don't even. know who that is that a young photo of. him eating his hand oh yeah i love his. abby on uh well show me that i don't. even know what that is uh here hold on. look how happy he is just popping the. champagne with that sombrero on his head. he's so happy. he's so happy don't you want to be that. hey listen. neuro neuro diversion people if you play.

your cards right this is in your future. he's having a great time yeah he is he's. enjoying himself. he's like a legend like he's like the. best thing that [ __ ] where does he. live. somewhere florida and florida i don't. know where but the point is i think i. know but i don't want to say it it's a. you know. but he's the best thing that that swamp. ever produced this guy. he's part of that no whatever happened. to that other knelt guy what does he do.

now he's driving lyft. steve will do it on youtube is that. what's there's nothing wrong with that. you know it's a good job you got to put. the uh. thing up for the covet you know the. plastic um. go to stevewillduit.com i'll tell you. right now folks it's really good because. he's he's he's. wait what i promoted a website we don't. even know if it's real. what do you mean you said go to. stevewelldoit.com no i mean steve will. do it on instagram.

what are we being paid. for. [Laughter]. who is this. that's not steve. that's not our friend steve who the [ __ ]. is this guy i don't know ma'am we can. talk to him on whatsapp go i don't want. to go back to the youtube this is. scaring me. looks like michael aquino looks like the. colonel oh yeah he does from dude to. johnny. steve as a new video out it says i. helped mexican families at home depot.

cops called. can we watch that what is he doing here. he's picking the families up and i think. taking them to work this is [ __ ]. heroic and patriotic. in all the videos how many changes he. wears. he keeps getting us demonetized because. of his music is that true yeah is that. true yeah sometimes. well can we can we can we just play it. without them without the music without.

the music how does he get away oh. because they don't make any money no. he's not monetized yeah right. so here's an mma fight that they went to. okay. okay. yeah yeah yeah very good. uh. here's it back in my i love how much. they love florida it's great they're. just handing money yeah like. can you just. i want to hear what they're doing now. yeah i think it's going to be music. though. all right so we're here at home depot.

we're trying to change mexicans lives. outside of home depot but the thing is. everyone here is on their ass where's my. money everywhere. but we go inside home depot. he pays me in like some like. fake coin. [Music].

[Music]. [Laughter]. sir are you mexican. no you mexican mexican yeah you kind of. look like doctor strange i get that all. the time. that's insane. hi are you mexican. why what is that i just wanna know. you won. the member. i'm gonna ask you to leave this store.

thank you are you mexican it doesn't. really matter gonna ask me to leave this. door. let's hope the police is mexican. miami pd. yes nice here young's recording. what's up doctor strange what's up man. what are you guys up to uh we're just. gonna have some money oh my god wow. thank you so much that's awesome holy. [ __ ] all right hold on. okay well that's nice they're giving. money to mexican people see this is what.

aoc should be doing. this is what she claims she cares about. and yet. is she in this video where's she hey. where's aoc. in the. video. with our friends uh steve will do it and. the nalc. collective. go to steve we'll do it uh on on youtube. please thank you goodbye it's stunning. to people. when they see the way we've created this. society where people are running around. and screaming. and going crazy you know what's crazy.

about you is the the economy is all fake. it's not real. everything else to you yeah is real. once you apply the economy thing to. everything yeah. i don't i don't disagree with you. i'm just saying these people get upset. about the president and they're upset. about everything it's like i'm not. saying. i'm not saying you get upset but you can. find your joy you know you can notice. things say again you can notice things. that's all hey hey bro you can notice. things listen you don't have to get bent.

out of shape hold on hold on right you. you notice bro i know hey hey i noticed. you're you're an ally bro the way you. notice bro if you are driving down the. street and there's a guy in front of. your car and he's taking a [ __ ]. you can you can go yeah. yeah interesting yeah that's all i'm. doing yeah i'm just noticing it and i'm. going i wonder what this means yeah and. i wonder. what this says about where we are at. this time and what will then happen in.

the future yeah it's kind of academic. what can we notice like do we notice the. uyghurs let's notice them dude i love. noticing we noticed the uyghurs all the. time let's notice them i i do could. would you be able to notice one. at all like when you saw one would you. be able to notice it and be like that's. a uyghur well where is the uyghur. exactly i mean is it a uyghur like if. you showed me a uyghur in a camp i might. go that's a weird if there was a uyghur. in like whataburger i don't know if i'd. pick out a uyghur and whataburger yeah. where is the uyghur that's a fun game. can you bring something up then can you.

get a where's wild though but it's where. is. [Laughter]. but i just all i like to know is notice. no we're noticers bro but i like to. notice isn't that our job. isn't it. yes so let's notice let's get a uyghur. let's go is that uh let's see here let's. get a uyghur up here we go that's. michelle wolf. no. the uyghurs look fine they look great.

that looks handsome. well-fed but i'm also a fan of china i. believe in one china. i know i believe taiwan's [ __ ] i don't. want to hear about taiwan i believe in. one china and i believe they should take. over america but can we notice them can. we know this can you notice taiwan can. we notice because they're being bombed. yes yeah i believe in one china yes. taiwan does not exist it's a part of. china it is right it is a part of china. it is let's cut the [ __ ] let's.

put it let's cut the [ __ ] because to me. i believe in one try not shout out to. president g yeah and i have said yeah. rogan took a deal with spotify i want to. take a deal with china it's the same. company interesting i want to be the. first podcast on china's new streaming. service called one china. and the the the episode the first. episode is me. commentating watching hong kong get. stormed. interesting one china one china.

una one. uno i wanna know who no one i wanna be. with the winners yes. do you think they got it you think they. figured it out have you noticed anything. about that. they they they figured a few things out. which is they run a country like a. corporation. yes and that's something there's. something. it's hard we do too we just we just. believe we need these problems we do too. for sure it's the most hilarious thing. for sure the course of america is. decided in four-year increments no it's. crazy it's crazy but the fact that what.

elon is going through right now is just. so funny because it's like he thought he. was bigger than the system yeah like he. he really for a second was like i think. i could do whatever i want yeah and then. they just had to remind him like you. know how your dad like [ __ ] his. daughter right like we're just gonna let. people know. that you're like your dad [ __ ] his. daughter i meant i have kids i met him. and i met him and i i'll tell you this i. thought he was interesting he's clearly. really bright yeah um good noticing you.

know he's also uh. he's a carnival barker. he likes the fame he likes the attack. that's what he wants of course that's. what he wants did you see trump's roast. yeah i mean the guy's still got it he. still hasn't the guy's still got it no. question bring it i mean it is he did it. on his own [ __ ] app yeah but it was. so true social [ __ ] funny yeah that i. imagined him saying it i'm actually sad. i didn't get to hear him say right. because if he said that like if he was. just on one of like the [ __ ] fox news.

or something like that yeah. do you have the actual thing yeah right. here oh yeah great when elon musk came. to my it came to the white house asking. me for help on all of his many. subsidized projects whether it's. electric cars that don't drive long. enough driverless cars that crash or. rocket ships to nowhere. without which subsidies he'd be. worthless and telling me how he was a. big trump fan and a republican i could. have said quote drop your knees in beg. and he would have done it i mean trump. is still. the guy sharp sharp sharp you think he.

runs again he wants to i think he has to. right yeah they'll put him in prison if. he doesn't win do you think he'll win. yeah. i don't think people know who desantis. is i i mean that's an opportunity like i. think the average american has no. [ __ ] clue who desantis is and they're. there does it were you at all do you. think if trump wins yeah. democracy goes not that we have a. democracy but the fake democracy we have. goes bye-bye like no if nothing happens. if he wins or he doesn't win the only. problem is like people will be more. agitated and upset so they're just gonna.

be annoyed and he doesn't know how to. lead he just knows how to win like he'll. probably win because he's good. does it worry you that he. you know he seems to be a guy that. doesn't necessarily respect. any of the electoral results that don't. say he wins yeah like if he's a guy that. just goes hey listen. uh you know i won and that's it and yeah. if he staffs all these positions with. loyalists that say certify it and go. yeah we're not certifying it unless he.

won um that worries me a bit you. actually think that it could turn into a. dictatorship yes. i think people want it m2 or something. like that no but they would they he'd. pass it down to the to whoever it was to. the the his dimitri medvedev. maybe maybe you you might pass it down. to you no no no no no it yeah i mean you. just got to be such an abject loser to. want to be president like what a [ __ ]. loser but it seems kind of fun no no no. if you if you had a root there you're.

telling me you're not doing it i'm not. even close i would know no one believes. that no one ever would not no one. believes you right i'll do it no do it. i'll do it i'll clean up them. i could see you doing well. no i'm not right and i honestly think. you have to be an absolute loser what do. you think when i said logan paul could. win i think he could win yeah i think he. could for sure yeah. i think those guys those social media.

guys. at the end of their run they understand. the game and logan's logan's a smart guy. smart guy smart guy. rave. he's at his age. in his 30s when he's ready to run he's. going to have this database of all these. people yeah he's going to be able to. have that trump effect where he. communicates directly with the voters. yeah i think that could be you know i. think you should run them. you know jake paul said i could be uh i. don't know secretary of something [ __ ]. the secretary you want. you want to run him well yeah i want to. i want to i want to help him win i've.

always said i would quit comedy to help. jake or logan paul on him run to. controlling their mind. [Laughter]. right. no like what's the guy's name. uh stone is that his name roger roger. stone like you know you understand the. game more than these people and you. understand what works and i'm not. talking about like how the [ __ ]. electoral college works you don't. understand what people's mind.

me and you if we had a candidate you. don't think we could get them far i. didn't say that i wouldn't we run. somebody we could get them so. far i mean tim if we're really smart we. run opposite candidates well that's true. but i mean like we could really have an. have an impact and run people tim who. says we won't do this one day you know. what i mean i think it's a great idea. but i would only do it because my guy. could be like [ __ ] the tents and your. guy could be like everybody gets a tent. all everyone has look under your chair. and what's great.

and what's great about that is that. people will go along with both of them. because they both sound good like. somebody in the car goes well no. everyone has a tent now it's actually. good so people would actually. it's interesting what does your wife. think about this business because i know. that. she's you keep it private and she's not. really like she's not she doesn't want. to be famous or anything what is she. loves the food though she's really an. absolute she loves but she's also like. um. you know she's i i would say more than a. foodie you know she's like you know she. she cooks she's also developing this.

platform yes blisters red peppers or. blisters it's actually a brilliant idea. actually it's just like for sure like. the idea that this one-stop shop for. like. everything that you need for food not. only just recipes recommendations but. also like turning into like e-commerce i. like really yeah yeah she's a sharp girl. she just got her mba from nyu like she's. she's on it you know for sure but like. what does she think about this she. doesn't want to be in a single [ __ ]. picture she doesn't want she doesn't. want like the internet scrutiny she. doesn't want she understands that and. sees what like i go through and other.

people do and she's just you know she's. sensitive and she doesn't want that it's. which is [ __ ] great it's a lot you. know forget about that is [ __ ] great. if you were married to someone that. wanted to spotlight you would have to. get them to convert to islam islam. immediately immediately immediately. where do you want to if when you uh when. when you leave new york yes do you ever. think of buying a place eventually down. the line outside of the country where. would i do it yeah because i know you. feel like a guy that's you you almost go. you guys.

interesting yeah. yeah kabum you're new to commodores your. mom well there's a thing with kabul okay. there's a lot of religious people there. mum um they want to have a comedy club. and i'm gonna bring it's gonna be kill. tony mom. and then you you'll go on and then. andrew schultz mom he's [ __ ] a beast. he's a savage mom. and we'll call it the couple comedy. connection mom that's [ __ ] crazy mom. um. no where else would i go dude i love.

miami dude i mean i'm just trying to get. you to move to miami i want to go i like. it so here's the thing we do miami look. the dream i have to start if i bring up. sukiyana and hit image oh yeah if i move. to miami here is how i would have to. start dressing and i want i want sukiana. and hit image this is how i dress if i'm. in miami yes or yes right there right. here right there that's that is how i. dress in miami yeah.

oh yeah or bring up saucy santana oh. saucy santana saucy santana i'm gonna. have to start dressing yeah if i move to. miami i'd have to start dressing. like saucy santa there you go right. there. right there i'm going to get that bbl. yeah. that's right now miami's fire miami's. great love my me couldn't write a joke. there the entire time because it's too. fun it's there's too much joy there's. nothing to push back on like that's. right there's no angst there's no people. yapping about dumb [ __ ] it's just people. trying to enjoy their family have fun.

party yeah. drink. and that's a very hard thing to be if. you're upset at that you're an [ __ ]. yeah if there's some chick with [ __ ]. purple armpit hair screaming about [ __ ]. outside of a [ __ ] 18t building right. it's it's fun for me right to remove her. anger from that's right that is that's. right that's like fundamental you can. write jokes here here yes yes because. people are ridiculous ridiculous. ridiculous in a bad way that's right. ridiculous in a good way is miami is. miami that's right and the fact that. like people criticize dude the fact that.

people criticize florida dude right it's. like everybody there is happy they're. happy so it's like. well they're they're happy but there's a. point where they od on it so it's. god bless god bless them but for us you. want to help them in portland they're. too [ __ ] to do it themselves in miami. they go in but it's bad for us for our. job. why to be over to too happy oh not 100. yeah no no i i like so that was the. hardest thing that's why i moved. everybody back to new york it was like i. can't write jokes here and i love this. too much so we have to go back but the.

ideal situation is probably. we do winner. we do like eight months in miami yeah. and then. i love new york in the summer [ __ ]. amazing i like everyone leaves the city. it's like you're on yeah it's amazing. that's what people don't get yeah the. city's the best in the [ __ ] summer. right it's there's an energy it's like. the people that don't have enough money. to leave are there and those are kind of. the cool people anyway right and it's. like it's it's young it's [ __ ]. exciting and there's not as much traffic.

right it's just i love so i would that. would be. a dream man. why don't you you hate the hamptons you. hate it no i don't hate the hamptons. this is like you hate whites. yeah. yeah. no like i don't know don't you don't you. want to like when i was boring. when i was it's the same thing as capri. it's like everybody kind of needs to. [ __ ]. let's create manhattan outside of. manhattan it's like what's well [ __ ] we. leave manhattan for it like because it's. a it's a gray [ __ ] brick hell that.

you need to believe. you need to leave it every now and then. dude it is you need to leave it you need. to to look at like there's no sunset in. manhattan and isn't that crazy like. imagine growing up without seeing that. leaving the city and i love the city. it's so much but i'm from the island so. we always have those different. perspectives yeah like you are like. giannis yeah samaril you're city kids. yes i'm a suburbs kid yes so it's like a. different thing i appreciate the city. but the city for me was always go enjoy. it and leave but you like i don't know.

like. like you. you would like nantucket and [ __ ] right. like you like this like old white money. you're into that well sure so it's dave. portnoy yes he is dave is [ __ ] you. should have dave on here have you got i. don't care about buddy no dave is funny. i know but i don't care i only you. you're a friend of mine i really don't. like having guests yeah because i don't. care what anyone has to say about. anything and you know what i mean and. you're my friend so i like arguing with. you and stuff but like i have no yeah i. have no need oh wow okay that's good and.

i bet that people probably prefer just. you talking yeah i just have no need to. yeah like i'd have to be like so what a. jaw did you just when did you yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you can't. do it yeah i can't even do it yeah yeah. yeah i can't even do it yeah unless like. i gave them all truth serum. and yeah having the i gave them like. sodium pentathol and i went all right. let me let's go yeah what are you really. you know yeah but no no nantucket for me. um i get a kick out of and this is why i. like.

old rich people yeah but you like old. american rich. there's another level to that. in the south of europe yeah i like old. european rich too i think you need to. indulge in that here's i would love to. yeah. what i like about them is they are. funny a little eccentric they're. ridiculous people um. it's a secret very small club. they don't. really. parade themselves around as much they. are kind of insulated and insular.

and there it's interesting like you know. i remember. me and him were eating ice cream in. montauk once and my friend. my friend works for a guy that i think. just last year made like a billion. dollars and i laughed i just looked at. ben and i said there's something funny. to me. about last year. earning a billion dollars yeah i just. started laughing yeah i couldn't even. explain it there was just something it's. something innately funny so to me these. families that have been so rich for so.

long. uh and they have all these weird feuds. and. inbred infighting yeah secrets and [ __ ]. and they shape the world you know not. all of it not everything but there's. shape a lot of it dude it's actually. hard to but you nepotism going yeah it. is no like i mean that for surely yeah. kids are retards that is the problem the. kids are retards so like the knicks for. example james dolan owns the knicks yeah. you're familiar with the dolan family. for sure. the board of the directors for the. knicks like five of them have the last.

name dolan right now the knicks haven't. won since the 70s yeah now are you. telling me james dolan that the best way. to increase shareholder profits. the most effective people just happen to. be in your family right there's nobody. outside of your family that might be. more qualified. to make me [ __ ] money right nobody so. that the crazy like that's the thing. about. mafia exists it's so weird like mafia. needs violence right because nepotism. creates idiots yes if the mafia could.

just outsource talent yeah they wouldn't. need to kill people they find ways to. legitimize the business yes and then. there's no issue but because your son's. an idiot yeah you need to murder the. competition yes instead of finding ways. to like lobby politicians to make your. business legal yes so in a weird way. nepotism. kills. institutions it does you is but i guess. it starves them of talent of talent now. the thing about mafia which is nice is. you get to like raise your employees.

yeah the problem with bringing in talent. is they eventually they're sharks. that's right yeah that's right so that's. the tricky thing about it but but yeah. nepotism like i'm actually impressed. when a family can keep their [ __ ]. together. for centuries yeah like look at the. medicis in [ __ ] italy they last 100. years crazy or i don't know maybe it's a. little longer than that it's probably. longer but still it's like nothing it's. a blip. it to me the kennedys are broke yeah. yeah a lot of these are broken not all.

of them but some of them the majority of. the kennedys. are a name yeah so they're no longer an. institution they couldn't keep it going. that [ __ ] joe kennedy they're not. relevant the bushes the bushes are not. relevant. bush's still got bread. they got bread but the kennedys probably. have just as much money they're just not. relevant anymore in the way that they. were right i mean they they were running. the the show for a little bit exactly. of you know like people have you read. about joe yes he orches he was like my.

son's gonna be president and it wasn't. even jfk it was the other son yeah right. and then something happened to the other. side maybe he was killed in war some. [ __ ] like that but like they crafted. jfk's whole story about what happened. the whole thing family it was. orchestrated by this most of what you. read about a lot of these politicians is. a creation it's a narrative that's. invented and that's one of the things. that i find very interesting about about. those really wealthy families is that. they can push a narrative they have. institutional backing with media you. know with academia and the way that.

these uh stories go out they're repeated. so many times they're not true yeah but. they're they become true but they become. true and people like them yeah so for me. like what we were going back to is like. are you gonna have the homeless guys in. the house it's like. no. unless they're like hung and respectful. yeah but for me it was like. it was always like i like the real. reality of what's going on even if it's. disturbing because that's where i could. make some kind of fun of it yes like if. i can confront it then that's where i.

can make fun of it but i i it's not that. i'm some type of altruist or i'm out. there i'm not. giving people soup on the highway but i. do like sometimes i think the reality. like. the real story of the bush family's. success is much more interesting talk to. me than the story that's put out right. the real story. the real story is that a connecticut. preppy. bankers that descended from a preacher. who's you know if you trace the bush. family all the way back. their uh.

their. samuel bush. it was either samuel or his father was a. minister and he ministered very wealthy. people in in connecticut and he became. friends with very wealthy people and the. family just started doing the bidding of. very very wealthy people and the. prescott bush became a senator and. george h.w bush uh became you know this. ambassador trump who's a cia agent and. all this stuff like this very. interesting thing and then you know they. were presented to us as kind of this. like texas free-spirited. you know they just they're watching.

america connecticut these are. connecticut boring belt buckles and. everything they are you know kennebunk. eating uh lobster salad and it's just. they were able to invent this image of. like i'm a gunslinging free you know and. that's very interesting to me like being. able to do that on a massive scale when. everyone knows you are from connecticut. and doesn't care when everyone kind of. knows the truth and it doesn't matter. because you've laid the the fiction on. so thick because it's impressive it's. called um. mandela effect.

yes mandela effect where it's like. berenstein bear berenstain bear strength. yeah whatever we just say ends up. becoming the reality that's choosing. this [ __ ] reality that's right so we. might as well choose the best version. that's here for 100 years the people in. the tents are having fun they love it. that's a good point they they've chosen. that ground that's right they're with. their friends they are with their. friends they have a great time here's. what i will say they are do you see them. crying i do seem to know each other. um. i don't see them crying i've heard. wailing i've heard wailing but whaling.

might be happy yeah. yeah for sure. where can these people buy. my website the andrews.com. and then yeah we're gonna you can buy it. there will be like a two-week window. where you can buy it everybody who buys. it will get the special we're gonna send. you a link etcetera so you'll have it. what. are there's is there a live watch party. or something yeah every i wanna watch it. live with everybody 9 p.m eastern. standard time i kind of want to like. pay-per-view [ __ ] i stand up and i think. that's what i think we should do that i. think everybody should go watch it it's. like a fight everybody there's a time.

which we do or like it exists in the. movie theater or exists online whatever. it is but i think we should do that in. the same way that movies have that like. i want sure people to watch this talk. about it all in the same time and. and yeah i don't know i just i don't. know i always feel future is [ __ ]. ownership man not not censorship and. it's just i don't know i i feel like i. feel like if. i feel like if it's raw if it's pure and. feel authentic and most importantly it's. just funny if people are like yo this is. funnier than the other things i'm seeing.

then it wins simple it'll win. people will buy it y'all. more than cover your bet. uh as you always do. thank you for coming on thank you my. brother if you want to go now. do you have the food for the homeless. we're going to go around and give them. the food yeah i got it what'd you get. for them uh the greek yogurt uh well. it's. you got the greek yogurt for the. homeless yeah with the strawberries well. you know that's what i want.

[Laughter]. and uh. go and pre-order the special now go. watch it live with him. um any closing thoughts nah you're done. you're great i [ __ ] think it's. awesome what you're doing and uh thank. you and i'm just i'm happy for your. success and it's it's always cool like.

when friends will send me [ __ ] from you. oh yeah it's like it's like do you know. this guy no no one does that do they do. that your friends don't go hey do you. know this guy well no but everyone knows. we know all my friends know i know you. yeah. my friends are like real people i know i. have friends who have like kids and jobs. i know so it's like. by the way make a little more money go. get rid of them. you'll get rid of them i have friends at. kids and jobs too you ever hear them. talk it's exhausting i had my my friend. brought his wife over the other night.

she came over in moccasins like an. animal. um you know. i have friends that are not in the. business i know giannis. the andrew schultz the andrew. schultz.com. [Music].