#303 - Meeting In The Woods | The Tim Dillon Show

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim. Dillon show from the guest digital. studio in New York City. The original. home. of the show that you are now watching. Ben Avery is with us. The economy is. tanking. I feel silly that I spent $50,000. on the sunglasses that you're looking at. right now. $50,000. I. feel stupid about that. There is a.

diamond in the middle of the. $50,000. $50,000. These sunglasses once belonged to Dodi. Fayed. Do you know who Dodi Fayed is? I'd have to look this up. Look up Dodi Fayed. These were his. sunglasses. All right. RIP. Mhm. RIP. Who was he for the retards audience that. don't know anything? An Egyptian film producer.

And the son of billionaire Mohamed. Al-Fayed. How did he die? He was the romantic partner of Diana, Princess of Wales, when they both died. in a car crash in Paris, France. And the sunglasses were taken off his. head. They were sent to an auction house. And I have them now. This is what doing well means. This is what doing well means. And I don't apologize for it. But, of. course, uh it's Pride Month. We're here. Ben's queer. Get used to it.

Lil Nas X is angry that he was not. nominated for a BET Award. Neither was. I. Lil Nas X, he's saying that it's. homophobic. Mhm. That's what his contention is. He's. saying that the BET Awards is homophobic. and that it has prevented him from. uh. That has prevented him from being. nominated. Um.

Yeah, zero nominations. Zero nominations for Lil Nas X. Who, in. fairness to BET, it it that is which is homophobic, but. in fairness to them, he's a horrible. musician. So, you have a very strange. uh thing there where you have a horrible. musician. He's a meme musician, right? He's not good. Sure. Right. The whole point is that it's so bad, it's kind of good. Mhm. It's like a joke. And uh BET.

that probably doesn't like. him. cuz he goes really hard with these. sexualized lyrics as he should be able. to do. uh as a gay guy. He should be able to. say anything he wants. Sell shoes with. blood in them. Mhm. You know, whatever he does. What does he do? Doesn't he do like. really wild. Yeah, he does uh. these things are spectacle. So, he puts. blood in a shoe, like in the devil's. shoe. with the sex stuff, isn't he like, "I'll.

eat your ass"? Yeah, yeah, he'll do music videos, too, where like he's having sex with the. devil and stuff like that. That's right. X. Bobby, did you have something? That was a drop. Oh, was that just a drop? If you have something, play it. No, I I was just going through his. videos now. Oh, I had the wrong audio up. No, it's okay. all right. Well, we feel bad for him because I. think he should be able to [ __ ] the. devil and be rewarded. What kind.

of society do we live in? Where. you can make millions of dollars. simulating sex with the devil. but are not rewarded for it. by. BET. Do you want to live in that society? Do. you want to live in a society where your. only reward. for having sex with Satan. is millions and millions and millions of.

dollars and fame and not a statue. given to you. by BET to confer legitimacy. on whatever it is that you're doing. But. we feel bad for Lil Nas X. But we feel worse for the people. I just remembered these sunglasses cost. $70,000.

I remember that now. These are 70. thousand I had to pay for these. Tell us about this economy because it is. one of the worst we've ever seen and. people are going to probably I mean. I don't even know. I can't even. speculate how bad it's going to get. So the Dow right now is. Sex work. I mean Doug Stanhope had that great bit. strengthen up your [ __ ] [ __ ].

Go Google that. But sex work's not even going to cut it. really in this economy. Like I don't. know what you're going to be able to do. Selling your children to a human. trafficker in the Philippines ain't. going to do it. Robbing elderly people of medication and. reselling it on the dark web ain't going. to do it. It's the type of the economy where the.

most horrible things that you can think. about. the lengths that you would push yourself. the things that you could never even. imagine justifying but on some level you. know that if you had to. eating a person, whatever it is, whatever your line is, going well over. that line just to survive, the things. that you know that you might in some. horror hell world endgame apocalypse.

have to do. won't even cut it in this economy. It. won't help. It won't help. The allowances that you make morally. to steal, to cheat to take advantage of. others, to manipulate. to engage in outright acts of violence, intimidation, betrayal against friends,

against family. the lies that you will tell not only. yourself but those close to you the. things that you in the dark recesses of. your mind know that you could only do. with your back against the wall and a. gun to your mother's head will not. suffice. in this economy, they won't suffice. It's going to be a whole whole new game. plan because everything that you're.

prepared to do. even things that you're not prepared to. do, it's going to get so bad out there. that you it's I mean I I can't even. describe how bad it will get. In fact. I can't even begin to. fathom. Every film about things that are bad. cannot even get close to what they. predict is coming. Bread lines will be. quaint, cute, you will wish you were on.

a bread line. When this hits and it's. going to hit. And this is by the way every YouTuber in. the financial space. But when this hits. you will wish you were on a breadline. You will pray to God that you could just. stand peacefully on a line without the. threat of murder to get a nice loaf of. warm bread. It will not happen. It will. be a minute-to-minute. scratch that second-by-second.

test of your wits and your ability to. survive. And the only thing. the only thing that might help you in. such a time is my newsletter, which you can. subscribe to and we email you once a. week. Not annoying, no promo just my. newsletter is the only thing that might. help you out where we give you all the. up-to-date information. No, but tell us how bad it's going to. get because. Bitcoin is now under $20,000. Bitcoin,

the thing that was here to save us. is now under $20,000. $18,900. $18,000. And you know what's coming. next? The house. The house is coming. Meaning. people, you know, people think. people think that they're safe with. their money in a [ __ ] house. Well, that's coming next, the housing.

collapse. But tell us Bitcoin is where? $18,900. $18,000. I'm looking at the graph. It hasn't been. here since December 11th, 2020. That's right. Yeah. And then the Dow is basically. right where it was at pre-pandemic. So, it's It collapsed. It rose, rose, rose, rose, rose, and now it's back to. where it was in January of 2020, right. before everything went to [ __ ]. Well, there were some ill-gotten gains.

And. you know, I don't know what to tell everybody. Unfortunately, uh there's a big correction. They are. driving the market into. Pull up what Mike Novogratz said here. about the economy and how they are going. to combat inflation. They're going to. drive the economy into a recession. It's. a minute 24-second clip. Um and I should have sent it to you last.

night, but I like seeing you struggle. I'm sitting at the Bobby. But this clip kind of explains what's. going on. The rate hikes that they're. making you pay to borrow money now. Mhm. They're making you pay for it. And when the interest rates go up, the. party goes down. And Mike Novogratz, he's the CEO of. something or other. You know these. people. They're always the CEO of like, you know, you know, I don't know, Poseidon. Capital. Well, whatever it is. Mike.

Novogratz basically says, "Jerome Powell at the Fed has decided to. push the economy into a recession to. combat inflation, which is probably the only way to do. it.". That is what. That is what people are now. kind of waking up to, that there's not. going to be a soft landing. They were. They were using the term soft landing, where like you get to keep your house.

They've decided that's not possible. You. cannot have a soft landing. What you will have now is the hardest of. landings. Like hitting water. from thousands of feet, a smack to the. concrete. It will feel like you fell off. your bike in front of all of your boys. in sixth grade, like I did, and you will. get rocks in your elbows, like I did, and permanent scars cuz your parents. don't care about you, and they don't.

take you to a plastic surgeon. It will. feel like that wind getting knocked out. of you, hitting the concrete in front of. everyone you know, pain, but also. embarrassment, shock, but also disgust. With a little bit of disgrace. That is. what they've decided. Do we have the. clip up? It's 9 minutes of vamping. Do. we have the clip? Great. Let's play this. clip because I do believe this man is. entirely correct. Soft landing is out.

Brutal, vicious, like 9/11 guy who jumps out of the. towers, the way he landed, that's the. way this economy's going to land. I feel. like an idiot spending $80,000. on these sunglasses. And you want the one on uh Bloomberg, right? That is correct. technology. I just emailed it to you, Bobby. It's a 11 minutes on YouTube. where it's just at the hour of getting. the clips. where we just cut from.

getting the clip to the clip. Because between him and Bobby, we could. do a show of this, and we have a 60. minutes of the show of just finding the. clips, cuz that's the real fun. Thank you. remember when we had a conversation. about how this year could have been the. year for DeFi. It was actually the top. pick you had for this year. Now, fast. forward 6 months, how do you feel about. that part of the industry at large? Uh not great. Uh you know, like Listen,

you have to hold crypto in context. what's going on macro, right? And we did. we talked about there were going to be. headwinds this year because the Fed was. going to have to withdraw liquidity. And. so assets that went up based on cheap. money forever, if they're growing. the clip. But that's okay. The clip is. the economy is going to fail very. quickly, Mike Novogratz. So uh you. I can't wait till podcasting's over. It's going to be over in about 6 months.

cuz all of these people are going to. live on the street, including him, right. next to me. They are all going to live. on the street. Podcasting is quickly. coming to an end. Imagine the money. they've made. You think I've made money? I have talent. Imagine the money that. has been made by podcast producers over. the last few years. If you knew what. these people made, you would be enraged. Like Chris Rock had a great line. He. said, "If Americans knew how rich rich. people were, they would never stop.

riding." If you knew how much podcast. producers made, you would go to their. houses and kill their families. But, Bobby, thank you. That was a correct. clip. 6 more months. you a question that we're getting from a. customer, actually, a Bloomberg Terminal. customer who wants to know from you, why. would you use a 200-day moving average. here after the Fed funds. went up 25 basis points for 3 of 730. days before the rate hiking cycle. started. So, how do you kind of. recalibrate here with the 75 basis point.

hike? How do you recalibrate given that. we're in a new paradigm? Listen, I think. what the Fed said really clearly was. and we've been talking about this for a. while. When you have inflation as strong. as we've had, you need to put the. economy in a recession to stop. inflation. And what Chairman Powell said. yesterday very clearly is, "I will put. the economy in a recession to stop. inflation. Even though I have a dual. mandate and I had talked cheeky about.

trying to get a soft landing.". Guys who have done this for a long time. realize a soft landing is impossible. And so, the economy is going to go into. a recession. It's going to go into a. recession fast. You saw housing starts. today, they collapsed. Uh you're going. to see the economy just screech to a. halt. Uh that's what the Fed needs to do to. get inflation down. And so, we're going to go through this. awkward period where growth is going to. be rolling over and inflation's still. going to stay stubborn before it rolls. Uh what are the.

When the Fed When the Fed sees it. rolling and they signal the pause, then. you'll see crypto take off, you'll see. other assets follow. Okay. So, that is what Now, do you. understand, Ben, what he means there? No, I I don't understand finance or the. economy. Ben, see, you're being wise. You're. trying to be a wise guy. don't. I don't. You're trying to be a wise guy, but the. reality I understand what he means. And. what he's saying right now is that. there's only one course of action that. we have, and it's to take people like.

you and your family and make them feel. pain. To make them feel a lot of pain. That's what he means. What he means is. that avert your eyes. because people like you and people that. grew up in places like you did are going. to have to feel pain now. Not so much people like me. People that can pink their skin.

on the tropical beaches. and be buttered. like like soft rolls. with Coppertone sunscreen. Not people. like us, but people like you, dirt. people. People that go from town to town like. modern-day gypsies trying to find bags. of wheat. You're going to have to feel it, the. pain. I mean, and is it right? I don't know.

But, it's happening. Look, we're all adults here, and I know. some of us choose to use nicotine to. relax, focus, or unwind after a long. day. Lucy is a modern oral nicotine. company that makes nicotine gum, lozenges, and pouches for adults who are. looking for the best, most responsible. way to consume their nicotine. It's a. new year. Why not start out by switching. to a new nicotine product that you can. feel good about? I I've not had a. cigarette for 12 days because of Lucy. I. also had bronchitis, but it's Lucy. If you enjoy using nicotine, you should. definitely check out Lucy's products at.

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Stevewilldoit is a good friend of the. show. You know Steve. Steve is a guy. that uh is a member of the Nelk Boys. sketch prank comedy group, but he's much. more than that. He's a gambler. Uh he's. a drinker. He is a national figure. He. is someone who inspires people. He gives. kids with cancer Ethereum. He gives. homeless people uh.

booze. He helps. He helps people. This is Stevewilldoit is a guy. who will go. and and teach people how to gamble using. crypto and a VPN. He's a man that says. life is to be lived to the fullest. even if it has to be. from a small private island where there. are no laws. Stevewilldoit. will do it. He will do it.

No matter what it is. Yes, is Steve eventually going to die. in a high-profile automobile accident in. Miami? To be sure. To be sure. Will he crash. uh through the lobby of a hotel? Yes. Will it be a helicopter accident? Sure. Will he maybe die in a third world. country where he's living uh with a. villa uh and multiple wives sort of like. Apocalypse Now, you know, Colonel Kurtz. style? You know, yes. Um is uh the future of Steve Will Do.

It's life uh sort of. terrifying? Yes, but very interesting. Like is he going First of all, at this. point, does a guy like that What can you. even What's left to do in America? Right. Right. So, Correct. So, much like Joe. Rogan, where Joe Rogan has gone to. colonize Austin, Texas, the crown jewel, uh Steve Will Do It, I believe, will. eventually flee this country and um. establish some third world uh fiefdom. where he will lord over uh like some uh.

type of savior convincing the natives. that he has powers ordained from uh. uh God. And it will be wild to watch. It will be. amazing. It would Think of every cult documentary. you've ever seen um. plus Bitcoin. Um and and and and we love Steve Will Do. It and we want to plug his uh YouTube. channel. What right? Right? Isn't that.

what we're doing? word, Steve Will Do It and he also has a. second channel you can follow where he. gambles on there and it's fun to watch. And what's fun about him is you know. that whatever he's going to have this. wild life and then it whenever it ends, it's going to be so bad and amazingly. uh phenomenally bad what he'll end up. doing. Like he may cause a war. It's going to be so visceral and crazy. to watch. Um. but it it up until that moment, it is.

going to be incredibly entertaining. It. is going to be so entertaining. Um. he gives AR-15s. to lonely men out there that need them. He is the guy that America needs. He's guy that America needs. He gave. the Nelk Metacard. to the. one Uvalde cop who went in.

The rest of them, of course, were busy. You know, what are you going to do? Housing is bad. It's brutal, vicious. Get up the housing numbers. Housing. starts are down. People are not applying. for mortgages. Well over 40% of the uh mortgage market, like people in the market for loans, has. collapsed. Mhm. House. uh building has fallen to the lowest.

level in decades. Um housing starts. People are not buying homes. Mhm. People are terrified. Rates are up over. 6%. They cannot afford houses. So many of them. cannot afford houses. that the. the Los Angeles homeless population,

which is right now about 40,000 people, I imagine within 2 years will be. 3, 4 million. people. And my attitude now about. because Rick Caruso lost, the guy who. was saying, "I want to um. get rid of homelessness." People said, "No. No, you don't. No, you don't.".

His campaign was, "Let's put homeless. people in affordable housing. I'm not. going to say the other thing satirically. that I said last episode which got me. age-gated. Explain very quickly what happened. With that Cruso? No, with the last episode. Oh, yeah. So, since it's age-gated, uh. I tried to talk to YouTube about this. Uh the last episode. I mean, it's like talking to a drunk. Have you ever spoke to a drunk?

So, YouTube declared that the last. episode is only available to someone. with a YouTube account that is verified. they are 18 years or older. Now, I tried. to appeal this. of our fans are 7 years old. That is who this show connects with, the. children. So, I tried to appeal this. They knocked. it down. Then we talked to YouTube. We finally. got through. We said, this is satire. You don't actually want to boil homeless. people in a pot.

It's a satirical show. They said, we understand that it is. comedy and it is satire, but it is still. satire that is not appropriate for. someone under the age of 18. Well, then nothing is. Well, then. nothing's appropriate. Mhm. So, we lost. We lost, yeah. Then we can do it. Spotify, it's the time for you to get in the game. with me now. You need to get in the game right now. The [ __ ] is wet, Spotify. Come to me.

and give me money, and I will join you. Come to me now. Let's stop this pussyfooting around. Mhm. Stop telling me you're not interested. Stop refusing to give me money. Stop saying we're going woke. The guy that made the Rogan deal, we. pushed him out of the company and we. hired some woman who's trying to do a. project with the stars of Friends. No. one gives a [ __ ] what do of Friends have. to say about the [ __ ] the world,

okay? Stop making celebrities do. podcasts. I'm sure Jason Bateman is a. swell guy. No one wants to know what he. thinks about anything. He's a brilliant. actor and I love everything he does, but. that's the only capacity that I want. him. I do not care what his hot takes. are. I I think this era of celebrities. doing podcasts will ruin it. I am. uninterested in Jennifer Aniston's take.

on anything. Who in God's name wants to. know what Courteney Cox has to say about. Russia? Shut it down. Shut it down now. Stop with the nostalgia. These shows. were big 30 [ __ ] years ago. I was 9 years old. when these shows were big. I'm 71 years. old right now.

Let it die. People. that are good at podcasting are good at. it precisely because there is no other. option for them. So, they get good at it or they die. What motivation does Jennifer Aniston. have to be really, really entertaining. on the mic? What's the motivation for Jason Bateman?

Can someone share that with me? When. Jason Bateman gets in his Tesla or. Jennifer Aniston gets in her chariot and. they take her from whatever perch she's. at and they drive her to a studio. where she has to go and sit in front of. a microphone. What is her motivation. to make anything good?

There isn't one. It doesn't exist. None of these people can ever share. their real thoughts with you because. that's the deal. The deal they made, which is a good deal, was to shut their. mouth and every time they want to open. it, oh, here comes the money. Money. Keep your mouth shut and here's the. money. And now we go, "Hey, how about just be.

you? Hey, you know how you've spent 30. years becoming someone that isn't you? Because you doesn't exist, because you. wasn't interesting, because you didn't. matter, because you was from a [ __ ] hole. dust ball town, suburb of Illinois, wherever these people are from. No one. cares about you. They care about Rachel and Ross and. whatever the [ __ ] you were and along.

came Polly and. they care about Ozark and they care. about Arrested Development. They don't care about you. So shut up and go back to work and leave. our [ __ ] thing alone. You're not. going to be good at it. What the [ __ ] are you going to say? What. is Jennifer Ann unless. unless people like Jennifer Aniston. really lose their like unless they.

really for whatever reason just like. like start like complaining about their. maid. like for the first 30 minutes of the. episode and go like, "I don't know where. she's from, Honduras or something, but. I'll tell you right now, I don't trust. her and I watch her. I have to watch. her, and I don't like that. If it goes in that direction, it could. be great. Like if Jennifer Aniston spends 30. minutes of the opening salvo of her show. complaining about her maid that's faking.

long COVID. Like if Jennifer Aniston's like this. [ __ ] says she has long COVID, she's a. liar. And she puts on like a wheeze, and her. breathing she pretends to have labored. breathing, and Jennifer Aniston goes, "It disgusts me, and I wish I could call. her out on it, but I can't." If that's. direction it goes, but you know that's. not. what it's going to go. They're going to. And this is how they kill podcasting. How do they kill podcasting, Tim? You're. always so dramatic. I'll tell you how.

they do it. The plan The plan is to kill. it. The plan is to kill it. What they're going to do. to kill podcasting is they're going to. let. vapid celebrities do it, and they're. going to market it and advertise it it. to the in the same way that they kill. everything else. You're going to get so. sick of the idea that that people that. are good and anti whatever you want to.

call it are going to have to do. something else. And I don't know what. that other thing is. It might be Twitch. It might be meeting people in the woods. I don't know where it goes, but what. it's going to not be is it's not going. to be hanging out with Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston, whoever else they put. out here. Again, who's I have a. a lot of respect for their work. Get the. [ __ ] out of a cheap studio with I'm.

drinking out OF PLASTIC CUP. OUR LIFE IS. HELL. WHY DO YOU WANT THIS? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO YOU HAVE millions. and millions of dollars. I got to sit and wait for him to get a. clip UP FOR 9 MINUTES. CAN I BE ON FRIENDS? WHY DO YOU WANT THIS LIFE? Can you not? But they need to kill it. They need to kill it and how they kill. it. is by flooding this space with.

celebrities with nothing to say. Not. only do they have nothing to say, they. are contractually. obligated to say nothing. by existing. Their existence is the contract. The. contract is they are unable to say. anything. They will be handed talking. points at the beginning of every The. Ukraine. is a powerful.

I believe that the trans. the blacks are being killed. Like that's. all they're going to do. They're going. to be handed a script every single day. and they're going to read the script. I don't have a script. I have ads of. companies that are not going to exist in. 3 months. Cuz I'm a podcaster. LEAVE US ALONE. I HAVE $90,000. sunglasses.

because the Mossad had to kill Princess. Diana cuz she couldn't mix royal blood. with Arab blood. Google it. Look into. it. Are you GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT, JEN? IS JENNIFER ANISTON GOING TO TALK ABOUT. THE Mossad hit against Princess Diana. for mixing royal and and Muslim blood? If that is the case, I am wrong. Egg on my face. Boy, do I want to have. egg on my face. Is Jason Bateman HE'S SO. GODDAMN QUIET.

Isn't it his whole thing? He's like. quietly intense. Sure, yeah. Oh. There's nothing left to do. Stop it. You. all have enough money, piglets. Disgraciad. Who what are we going to do? If Jack. Nicholson's going to have a podcast, how. bad does it get? We're going to take every icon and. legend. and we're going to make them die.

podcasting. That's how sick this. business is. But where was I before this? Housing. starts, cuz I didn't I got lost there. Housing. What's going on with the. housing? What is happening. So right now the. with people's homes? So right now mortgage rates, this is a. article from June 16th. What's going on? Mortgage rates in the US jump by most in. 35 years. [ __ ].

WEREN'T YOU AND YOUR WIFE GOING TO BUY A. HOUSE? We were thinking ABOUT IT. WELL, NOW YOU DON'T. YEAH, I don't know where. Well, now you're [ __ ]. Maybe not. Why not? Well, I'm going to wait till we have a. conversation with someone later, maybe. she'll tell me I'm not [ __ ]. going to tell you [ __ ]. She's going to tell you to go scratch. Wait till she sees your income. She's. going to come in here and do your job. She's going to go, "He gets paid what. for what?". You know what Jason Bateman and Jennifer. Aniston are going to PAY THEIR. PRODUCERS? NOTHING!

NOTHING! THEY WILL PAY THEM NOTHING. IT WILL BE A terrified person at [ __ ]. whatever. Yeah. iHeartRadio that comes in and goes. and they will run away and they'll press. a button because they'll be terrified. Of course, that's not the case here. I. am constantly attacked and belittled. I I live in fear of these people. I live. in fear of the system.

Not Jennifer Aniston. Now, you were going to buy a house, but I'll. tell you right now, you missed your. window. You had a window and you missed. it and I told you to act and you didn't. act. You told me on the phone a month ago. You said you might try to get something. before all the the spike in. But now it's over. Is it over now? You'll never own. Yeah. For the rest of your life. You will. rent. You will rent, which is what. BlackRock wants you to do. Rent.

And you will [ __ ] lease and you will. rent. And when your children say, "Daddy, what do we own?" you'll say, "We. own [ __ ] We own nothing. We don't own. [ __ ] the socks you're wearing. We own. nothing. We've leased it all." You'll. grab the food out of his mouth and give. it to his sister and go, "You don't even. own that.". That's what's going to happen. Because you didn't heed my warning and. work harder. Had you worked harder, the show would. have made more money.

The show makes And by the way, because. of the economy so bad, we are doing a. special deal on Patreon right now, $5 a. month. If you want extra episodes of the show, $5 a month, 99 cents an episode, you can. get into the show. But this is what I mean about the the. housing here. It's a real problem. Uh it climbed from 5.23% last week to. 5.78% this week, the highest it's been. since November of 2008 during the. housing crisis. People are priced out of the market.

They're terrified. They Their Their. retirement um accounts have been. drained. If they had money in the. market, it's [ __ ] It's a recession. I. mean, the technically recession is two. quarters of negative growth, but what. you're seeing right now is you're seeing. a total. perfect storm of economic conditions. If. you were thinking about buying a house, like people like you and your wife were. thinking about it, but now you're seeing. everything that happened. Mhm. Yeah, cuz I don't know if the house. is going to be worth half in 3 months.

Well, also. you don't know. how much that house cost you now versus. it might cost you a lot less. in a in a couple of years. If rates can. stabilize and then fall, if we get out. of this period it it might make a lot of. sense to wait, you know? Right. And and um. you know, I mean, I don't think you. should. Here's the deal. And I've told you this and I'll tell you. this. and I'm going to tell you this right.

now. A tent ain't bad. No, I'm telling you this right now. In a. safe area. a tent ain't bad. Yeah. You don't have kids yet. Mhm. You and your wife. with a nice tent ain't bad. In a nice safe area. you have a gym membership, you shower at. the gym. Mhm.

I'm telling you right now. the money you're wasting. living in a house that you rent. is money that can you can spend down the. road. Get a tent. Go to a a place where other homeless. people are and set it up and join the. community of the unhoused. I'm telling. you right now, join the community. because by the way, I don't even look at. it as a negative anymore. People in.

people go, "Oh, LA's got all the. homeless people." Yeah, exactly. I think it's a I show people Skid Row. When you come to LA, I show you Skid. Row. I go, "Look at it. Here it is." I. go, "We've got the most homeless people. in the world." And then people are kind. of taken back and they're like, "Oh, that's horrible." You go, "Why? Why is. it horrible? Are you so good because you. own a house?" Throw it back on them. Get into a fight with them. Go, "What's.

so good about you that you own a house?". I'm proud of Skid Row. I'm proud that we. have 40,000 homeless people. I want. more. I am proud that we have the. largest unhoused community in America. You will not shame me. You will not. cause me to reevaluate. my love of the city of Los Angeles. It. is all perspective and I say, "Fuck it.".

Good. Te- Make Skid Row a stop on the. Hollywood tour. That's all. Done. Done. See it? There it is. It is the And by the way, you can say it. nicely. It can feel nice if you go, "And. uh to your left and to the right, you. are seeing the largest unhoused. community in the United States of. America.".

And if you say it like that, people get the idea that it's actually. not a bad thing. It's actually not a big. deal. And throw it back on the people that. judge it. Go, "Oh, are you so good cuz. you own a house?". Who cares? It's not a big deal. They're an unhoused community. Some people have houses, some people. don't. This is what we have to start. accepting. I think we have to start. accepting it. I do. I don't believe that.

I don't believe we should go nuts about, "Oh, there's children that are living on. the streets." You know what? You know what? Children are on the streets anyway. They. love play- You know, when I was young, I. loved leaving my house and playing with. my friends on the street. We're on the. street. I never wanted to come in. The saddest part of my day was when my. mother and father said, "Come in here. You got to go to sleep.". Leave them out there. Children enjoy being on the street and.

they're resilient. They're resilient and they enjoy being. on the street. It's not a big deal. It. is. unzipped the tent. Oh, look who's. playing soccer. Not a big deal. It's. fun. It's a fun life. And I'm looking at it like that because. I I'm I'm sick of. how how people have. destroyed. and disgraced me. I'll tell you this, folks.

I love ExpressVPN. Using the internet without ExpressVPN is. like walking your dog in public without. securing them on a leash. Most of the. time, you'll probably be fine, but what. if one day your dog runs away and gets. dog-napped? Folks, let's just go off the dome here. The point is this, companies are trying. to take your money. They're trying to. steal your information. You know why. they're trying to do that? Because it's profitable for them to do. it. It's profitable for them to sell. your information. The government is.

trying to get your information because. they want to use it potentially against. you one day in a court of law. Um so, how do you protect yourself? You. use a VPN like ExpressVPN, okay? Get 3 months of ExpressVPN free at. expressvpn.com/timdillon. That's expressvpn.com/timdillon. expressvpn.com/timdillon. It works on all your devices, phone, laptop, tablet, even on your smart TV. It's so easy to use. Just fire up the. app and click one button to get.

protected. It creates a secure encrypted. tunnel between your device and the. internet so they can't get it. They. can't hack it. And when you were in England, you use. this on your phone when you're were. abroad, and I use this on my computer. Cuz I wanted to watch Ozark. Yeah. It's true. Now Jason Bateman's trying to take my. job. As a thank you.

That's going to be the end of my life. Where I just I'm like this. I just. fiddle with the mic all day. And I go. Keeps, are you bald? Cut it out. Keeps. Thank you. Anyway. No. Stop being bald.

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or receive your first month of treatment. for free. That's k e e p s. .com/timdillon to get your first month. free. k e e p s .com/timdillon. Those. are the ads. And uh. in terms of we have family members that. We that use keeps. I have yes. Yeah, I I personally do and it actually. works very well. I have a family member that uses keeps. right now. Why are you shaking your. head? Okay, go on. Go on. I have a family member that uses keeps.

right now. Mhm. He's got a beautiful head of hair. What's going on with the economy? IS IT. STILL [ __ ]. I HAVE $85,000. sunglasses on right now. As bad as the economy is doing right. now, people are still they're uh. Well, they have jobs. The one indicator. people have jobs. People can shovel [ __ ]. right now. They have jobs. They can.

clean out the machine. and they can clean the hair out of the. frozen yogurt machine. That's one thing that we've got in this. country still. We still got jobs. You. can sweep the vomit off the floor. You. can clean the fingernails. out of the crepe maker. We still got jobs. Fear not. Fear not. If there's hemoglobin on the waffle,

throw it out, make a new one. There are. jobs. If there's pus. stuck. Mhm. in the [ __ ] espresso machine, clean. out the pus and then make the Americano. There are jobs. Of course, the amount of money that. you're paid for those jobs hasn't really. gone up. The problem with housing is. housing should have gone up with wage. growth, but it hasn't. Wage growth has. gone up at the very high end for a few.

people, podcasters, uh human traffickers, and people in. tech. And but for most people it hasn't. So, these housing prices are out of whack. Now, you're going to see them come down to. reality. But, thankfully there are still. jobs. Now, go to Help Wanted New York. City. Go to Help Wanted and tell them. what they can do. In fact, go to Austin. Texas because New York's over. Help. Wanted Austin Texas. Show them. what they can do if they want to get a.

job. in Austin, Texas. What if they're all jobs at Joe Rogan's. comedy club? That is not doesn't exist yet. It's just 300 jobs. Okay, I found one. Yes. Uh delivery specialist. Beautiful. At a company called Fetch. [ __ ] yeah. Tell them about it. Uh as a. We're not even getting paid to do this. first, folks. As a delivery partner, you will be. responsible for picking up packages from. Fetch facilities and delivering them to.

apartment communities during your chosen. delivery time block. See, what's good about this job is you. can choose when to do it and when to lay. on your couch and wish for death. That's what's nice about this job. You. have the freedom to do it. But, you also have the freedom to. There's a window you can do it and. there's another window when you can lay. on your floor and pray that you don't. wake up.

What is the compensation at Fetch? Uh let's see here. So, that is Let me. click on that. Usually they say it right. next to it. This one doesn't. It does not. Uh this one is $19 an hour. Beautiful. Too much? What else? Uh we have here we have. a dishwasher. Okay. Nothing wrong with that. a Curry Up Now. Too much curry smell. Yeah, 14 an hour not great.

You smell curry all day, you'll smell. like curry. It's [ __ ] up. Uh this one says full-time floater and. uh parentheses caregiver. I like this one. Okay. So, full-time position for experienced. caregiver/CNA. This is a full-time. floater position consisting of providing. care to clients, training caregivers, and assisting with office tasks as. needed. See what they're paying. That one's. probably pretty somewhat decent, right? Right. Uh you have to inquire. Okay, well.

it's not really the best ad. Honey Baked Ham Company production. associate. [ __ ] yeah. So, this position. I Let me tell you right now. They have one of these in Long Island. No cigarettes 13 days. Mhm. They have one of these Honey Baked Ham. Ham Companies in Long Island. What's. good about this is they do the spiral. ham with honey. They have the sides like. cinnamon apples, mac and cheese, uh. baked beans, mashed potatoes, and all of.

the things. Mhm. Go on. Uh so, this position is actually for the. production of Honey Baked Hams and. turkey breast. Uh training is involved. in all positions. We hand glaze each ham. and turkey breast. Oh, yeah. [ __ ] yeah. with one of our one-of-a-kind glazing. techniques. A crew of 12 will glaze and. wrap product for retail sales. We take. pride in sanitation and the ability to. effectively manage our time. So, here's. your responsibilities at Honey Baked. Ham. You have to uh prep duties such as.

washing and chopping vegetables or. cutting meat. Yes. You have to maintain a clean and orderly. kitchen. and you have to measure ingredients and. seasonings. Ooh. Listen, folks, the jobs are out there. The jobs are out there. Here's one from. Austin, caring for local podcast. billionaire. You will serve as a. caretaker to a local famous podcast. billionaire. Your tasks include. reminding him that certain things he. sees online are not real.

Also reminding him that he was said he. was opening a comedy club. So you have to causing many people to. move there. Who hate it. And do nothing now. So. I mean could these mics I mean. Oh. Now take getting your seat. Got 3 minutes left he fixes it now. Um. Such an interesting life that we live. here and.

so grateful to the people that make it. possible the fans the listeners the. companies. The uh. Asians. Mhm. For running everything. Um I have $100,000 sunglasses on right. now because I don't live in fear. Um. There's not much to do. at the end here really other than just. wish everyone well. I mean the economy. is going to be so incredibly vicious. It. is going to kill you and everyone you.

know. Your families will be on the. street. They'll be selling their [ __ ]. [ __ ] and [ __ ] and dicks. They'll. be doing everything they can. There's. nothing you'll be plagued by famine by. disease. There will be cats in the streets civil. unrest violence. Um authorities institutions will lose. all credibility very quickly authority. will fall. There will be ragtag group of. militias that will be guarding and. distributing resources. There will be.

regional fiefdoms run by psychopathic. charismatic cult leaders. People are. going to feel vulnerable for the first. time in a very long time. There is going. to be climate catastrophes and disasters. compounding a breakdown of the civil. order. There is going to be. probably a. freeze or shutdown of local and federal. government services. There will be. nowhere to run. You are not going to be.

able to utilize public transportation, planes, trains. Your automobiles will be. set on fire by bands of angry children. looking for food. You are going to be. scavenging. trying to make the most out of what. you've got. You'll be eating out of. garbage's. Okay? You'll be living in tents if. you're lucky. You'll be walking 10-11. miles a day from state to state like a. post-apocalyptic film.

You will choose friends based on who you. perceive that you can trust at any given. time. This is going to change. You will. wake up in the middle of the night and. they'll be rifling through the food that. you have decided it was going to last. you guys a week. They're going to be. stealing water. You're going to have to. execute some of them in front of your. own children. You're going to have to. keep them in You have to enforce a. certain level of [ __ ] authority. You're going to have to make people.

scared and you're going to have to. punish, execute, beat. It's going to be tough. You will not be able to access any. medical care during this time. You're going to be. You're going to have to get good at. minor surgeries, performing them on. yourself and your children and other. members of your group. You're going to. have to perform stitches, stitching your. skin together when a feral rabid animal. has taken your arm and turned it into.

its chew toy. You may have rabies, you may not. You're going to have to get pretty good. at securing medication and drugs and. administering them uh uh, with your. group of people. You know, whoever you're traveling. around this country, this. disaster-prone, war zone with, trying to acquire. resources, you're going to have to be. able to administer. all types of drugs, medications, Novocaine. You're going to have to do.

minor surgeries. You're going to have to. get and store food. You're going to have. to understand refrigeration. Without a. refrigerator, spicing food. appropriately. How long things can stay. You're going to be able to You're going. to make your own jerky. You're going to. try meat in the sun. You're going to have to learn to fish, to grow, to live off the grid. You're. going to have to become, uh, familiar with agriculture, farming, storm patterns, irrigation, water.

You're going to have to do all of that. And while you're doing that, you can listen to Jennifer Aniston. or Jason Bateman. So, at least you'll still have. entertainment. during this period of darkness. It will be like the Noah's Ark flood. Not everyone will survive. There will be small groups of people. that through their own ingenuity and, uh, propensity for cruelty will be able.

to get ahead of other groups. And I don't know which group you'll be. in, and I pray for you. But just know that while you were out. there. struggling, you'll be able to listen. to Courteney Cox. talk about fun things that happened on. the set. of Friends, a show that was on in the. 1920s, when actors could afford to live in New.

York City, and nobody had AIDS, and they. met one black person. Just know. that the American entertainment system. will never fail you. because even though you were going to be. out there trying to figure out how to. set up a legitimate government once ours. has fallen. When you were trying to get some of the. loose nuclear weapons. that have already been stolen out of the.

Cheyenne Mountain base and many of our. underground military bases. When you and your crew is trying to. acquire weaponry and food, you will be. able to listen. to Jason Bateman tell you how Ozark got. made. Because that's what this medium's always. been about. Rich celebrity millionaires. telling you. how cool [ __ ] happened.

While you lay on your couch. and pray for death. And that's. the great tradition of broadcasting. It has always been for rich people who. are bored. who did a cool thing once and want you. to know all about it. While you sit in traffic and shove. another french fry down your throat.

But these my friends are the good times. So enjoy them while you can. It is going. to get a hell of a lot worse. Not for me. And not for anyone I know. Joe Rogan will protect us. He will take us up on his spaceship with. Elon Musk where we will do stand-up. comedy in his zero gravity environment. for no one. The rest of you I believe will inherit. Earth and fight over resources until you. are exhausted or murdered by a rival. tribe. I will be in the sky with uh Elon.

Musk and Joe Rogan until I kill myself, which will be about 3 hours into that. experiment. When I decide that I would rather be. having be getting disemboweled by wild. dogs than be on that ship. timdilloncomedy.com. There are no live. dates. There's no tour. [ __ ] off and go. away.

A book's coming. I haven't written. I haven't written the book, but it's. coming. You'll buy it. I hope to get it out before the [ __ ]. war, but I don't think I will. But I'm trying. You can follow Ben Avery, but who gives. a [ __ ] For what? A picture of a duck? What's he adding to this? Go to our Patreon if you want extra. episodes and to support the show. Please. support our sponsors like dick pill and. cigarette uh you can't have a cigarette, so take this. Have you lost your hair?

Hopefully soon we'll get legal services. You want to see your kid again? Press two. But please support all of our sponsors. Please. It's important for us that you. support the companies that support us. Many of these companies.

they're not going to see the other end. of this. You know? But that's okay. Are you nervous about what's coming or. are you going to face it head on? No, I'm pretty nervous. You should be. Yeah. You should be as nervous as any human. being out there. You should be nervous and. because the podcast producers are going. to be the ones when we tell everybody. the money you've made, they're going to.

go to your houses with pitchforks and. they're going to drag you out and. they're going to rape you. They're going to rape you to death. And they should. By the way, I will. um be a guest on Addison or Bateman's. podcast and completely like just be. like, "Hey, it was good, great. Thank. you so much. Thank you so much for having me. It's kind of an honor to be here.

So, if that happens, just [ __ ] you. Cuz. that's what this game is. And I don't need your [ __ ]. I will dance my ass right into that. studio tomorrow to sit down with those. legends. What do you think I want to be here with. you? Good luck, everyone. You're going to die. And it's going to be in vain.