#299 - Family Recipe | The Tim Dillon Show

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim. Dylan Show. Back in studio. How. exciting. Just got back from Australia. The tour is over. Very excited to put. out a special in early June. And you. know what's fun about the special is it. has a ton of material about COVID and. the riots. So, it's going to be really. relevant. Like that's what's good about. it. It's June, so you could uh hear. about uh COVID and nurses and riots. And.

that's what's the best thing about this. special is it's perfect, pitch perfect. in terms of relevance. And uh it'll it'll it'll take you back. If you want to go back in time to one of. the worst times that you were ever in, you can go back in time with my. completely irrelevant special [laughter]. that will come out in early June that no. one will care about and I don't even. care about. But what's good about it is. that I wanted to do the show live as.

much as I could. So, we didn't put it. out earlier. So now we've waited till. June, so it'll have maximum effect. It's just like it's 2020 all over again. in my comedy special, except there's. more to it than that. There's other. stuff. I I talk about uh Pizza Hut. It's. not only uh co there's other stuff. Uh. just got back from Australia, the land. down under. Very exciting. Um hospitable.

people, lovely people. recap it on the. Patreon. Um, myself, Ben, Sam, Talent, we're still feeling the jet lag. How are. you doing? Not great. How are you? I'm fair. You know, I'm I'm I'm learning. to live with it. Uh, and while we were. over there in uh, Australia. keeping uh, tabs on all the podcast. beef, we um, were reading stories and.

the news. And one of the stories I read. was about this band Dean. Is that how. you pronounce it? That's right. I believe it is. Now, Deandward is a uh. South African hiphop duo, and they do. the Zeff style of stuff, which I believe. is a lot of gold, and it's very they're. very brash, and they live in South. Africa, and they adopt like all these. deformed people, and they run around the.

woods with machetes, and they take bath. salts. It's It's something different, you know? Something It's It's nice. It's. different. And it's made up of Yolandi. Vizer and uh uh. Ninja. and Ninja and uh lovely people from I'm. sure from all accounts now uh and they. are Google what the Zeff style is. because they have this unique their. videos got crazy views because they were. very unique. I find you freaky AND I.

LIKE YOU A LOT you know. Rich [ __ ]. That was a good song. Rich [ __ ]. Nutella onami. Nutella on the sami. Because in South Africa, if you have. Nutella on a sandwich, it means you're. rich. Nutella. So, Zev is a South African. counterculture movement. Uh Kyle Hans. Brockman has compared Zev counterculture. to a lot of subcultures in the Northern. Hemisphere. I don't know what that. means. I want to know what it is, but. from what I think it is, it is very like.

um. Zeff Music and Culture. of the music. group Deantword selfidentifies as Zeff. In a 2010 interview, Ninja of Deant. responded to the controversy arising. from his claim that Zeff represented. South Africa. Critics suggested it might. rather just represent Africans while. South Africa he commented that racism is. somewhat obsolete and a thing of the. past for South A what is. so I think this is his Zeph is you're. poor but you're fancy. You're poor but you're fancy. You're. you're ghetto fabulous,

right? Mhm. Okay. That's what it is. Zeff style. And. it's fun and enjoyable. And so these people Deantword. uh adopted. uh kind of this disfigured. child. Yes. And named Taki. Yeah. That's what he looks like there. Now. Taki is now accusing them of being. abusive. He is uh saying that he was.

he's accusing them of physical sexual. abuse and slavery. And um. he said. uh he has a rare disease and he said. quote they made me believe I was the. devil buddy. That's all parents. They. made me believe I was the devil. They. made me swear more and made me believe. that I could burn people in hell and. that I'm the king of hell. Sounds a. little nice. They told me that I could.

bring I wish my parents told me that I. was the king of anything, Taki. They. told me that I could bring darkness upon. the world. So he said, and I read. another thing. I think it was in the. Guardian. He said, um, the worst part. was seeing my supposed to be mother or. adopted mother being naked in a room. drunk, experiencing my mother being. drunk, naked, and wanting me to spend uh. time with her in the room uh while she. was naked. I find that very disturbing. Last December, Ninja and them apparently. took my sister into a sauna and everyone.

was naked in the sauna and wanted my. sister to get naked, too. It's pretty. weird. This is Taki. Uh, it felt like a. pervy vibe to me. Every time when he. phones a family, they ask if my sister. is pregnant yet, and that's not going to. happen. Not on my watch. This is their. adopted son, Taki. Uh in the video interview, uh he said he. had stabbed his older brother three. times, leaving him needing hospital. treatment. And that uh Ninja and. Yolandi's response was to congratulate. him. They were like, quote, "Hey, good. job, man. I didn't actually know you.

were going to be a man. I didn't expect. you to stab your brother. That's. amazing.". Um, he also accused him of some other. things like they like uh I think it. might have been in a Guardian article I. read or something where he was basically. saying like they made him participate in. blood rituals or they were taking him to. a blood bank. Oh yeah, I read that too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something about that. Let's see here. Um, it's hard to know.

because. they adopt this kid. who is a has problems. and yeah, here we go. This was in the. Guardian. What was this? This is uh the South African.com. South African. Yeah. Blood rituals, porn, and violence. Deant's child slave. tells all. Here's the thing about uh so Taki. they picked him up in his community of. fas.

at the time and man but you want to talk. about accents that are horrible. I mean. the South African accent is the worst. accent. It sounds like an Australian. like uh just has like a. is has DOWN SYNDROME. IT'S LIKE IT'S. HORRIBLE. So is fas FIGHTAS. [screaming]. UH HE SAID IN AN INTERVIEW, "MY mother. said it was going to be a good. experience, so I went.". Imagine Deanward shows up and the. mother's like, "Yeah, it's going to be. great. Get in the car.".

Um. the controversial. group whose music [clears throat]. includes lyrics and imagery based on. Satanism, gangsterism, incest, and other. social ills used the children as actors. and props in their music videos and. album covers. Uh he said that they split their time. between Cape Town and Johannesburg and. also in Los Angeles. Well, of course. Um he has a rare skin disease and they. took him in and uh some of the.

allegations include that he was exposed. to pornography and sex toys. Uh. the sauna stuff, the naked stuff, taking. the children to a private clinic to. allegedly have their blood withdrawn for. a blood ritual. congratulating him after. he stabbed his brother, making Taki and. his friends reenact the violent stabbing. scenes in their music videos, Taki. discovering black magic in a box in. their family home and partaking in. rituals exposing the children to.

dangerous gangsters. Uh here's the thing and Taki, my heart goes out to you here, but you. have to be a little realistic. There's there wasn't a line of people. at going to adopt you, you know, like. there wasn't they weren't breaking down. the doors. to to get in there and put the presents. under the Christmas tree. Sometimes in.

life when people show you kindness, it. does come with some unwanted. uh aspects. uh such as the blood rituals. Now I. don't know the dean people and. I I I they're entertaining. Um, but. I, you know, this whole thing really. comes down to three words and they're.

the same three words that you use in any. sales uh, arrangement. When somebody. goes, it's too expensive and you have to. use these three words that kind of uh, is what I would say to kind of. And. those three words are compared to what? Yes, it's expensive. Compared to what? the blood rituals are bad compared to. what what was kind of the other option, right? I mean, unfortunately, there wasn't a ton. happening.

I mean, outside of him kind of being in. a Rob Zombie film, it wasn't going to. really. uh pop off here. And it I think his. sting comes off a little ungrateful. because they, you know, they hang out in Johannesburg. and it's it's incredibly violent there. and there's gangsters and they do crazy. drugs and they run through the jungle. and they participate in in in rituals. and stuff, you know.

You know, again, it's not a perfect. childhood by any stretch, right? It's. not ice skating. It's not like a great. like, oh, Easter egg hunt and you know, oh, we summer in Maine. Sure, you're not. in a Maine sailing camp, Taki. But Taki, I don't think that childhood's. without its charms. And I don't think. that it's right to come out and. completely. throw your parents under the bus just.

because they made you uh participate in. uh blood rituals in the jungle. It's kind of the price of fame. I live. in Los Angeles. Do you know how many. Well, not really. I split my time. But. when I'm here, I mean, do you know how. many people in this town. are partaking in blood rituals just to. get ahead and can barely even do it? And. you know, he had a seat at the table. here with Dean and they were they were. big. They're it's not they're not huge.

now. Uh this has kind of hurt them, I think. Do they have a statement? Has Yolandi or. Ninja Do they have a statement? Do they. want to come on the program and address. this? So, uh, if you Google them getting. cancelled, they actually got cancelled. for a totally other thing. They smacked a gay rapper that they were. in some feud with, right? Some musician. they were in a feud with. because they're homophobic according to. this. Yeah. Well, yeah, but I don't know. They were. in some feud, some guy named Andy. Butler. I I really. I have no idea what goes on in the ZE.

community of South Africa. And I'm not. going to learn. But yeah, I just so they. got cancelled over that and and now the. the blood rituals. I mean, they just. can't catch a break these people. Yeah, it's a real string of scandals. here. It's a string of scandals and it's. unfortunate. But Taki, I guess, had enough. He said, "This isn't the way to live.". Play a little of him. So, here's uh I. think this right about here is him. talking about uh him stabbing his.

brother right here. Right. Okay. Here we go. Imagine if you had to hear this in your. home. [laughter]. I mean, imagine if you had to hear this this. accent from hell. I mean, are when he's saying they said, "I'm the.

demon." Is he sure they're wrong? This accent is preposterous. Keep going with this. God, hold on. I think I'm playing it on a. playing it double speed. Oh, let's see if it's better single. speed. Leave that in though. That was. I watch things on double speed sometimes. here. So, let's go back and let's see. here. Yeah, let's see if it's now cute.

It's even worse. It's worse. God, make it stop. Then, make it stop. They adopted him and he's complaining. He's complaining. You're complaining. I mean, you should say thank you.

So now what's his what's what's he up to. here? Stupid things we for that night when I. stabbed him. So like Yeah. So I was. sleeping in the house in Park. So then I. my brother woke up. He wanted the. speaker that I took the like in a. earlier day during the day and then like. he he was looking for a speaker. So he. came to me he woke me up. He said like. yeah he woke me up and then I got up and.

then we started fighting over a speaker. and my phone and then like when he. punched me I took out a knife from my. prophet and then I stabbed him like. three times. So, one in the neck, in the. arm, I think in the ribs or something. I'm not sure exactly where, but yeah. Um, and my sister was also there. She. saw everything that happened. Like, she. was there and I when I looked to the. door to go out, I saw my sister in a. friend that actually stays across the. road from our house. So, yeah, that kind.

of messed my my whole mind up. Did your brother go to hospital? Yes, he. actually like after I stabbed him, I. actually pressed the the alarm, the. security alarm. like to let the par to let the. paramedics come, the security and. police, everything responds at once. So, I respond I pressed the response. button. Then, I couldn't open the gate. because as soon as the response button. goes off and I open the gate, my brother.

was going to be able to be able to run. faster out with me. So I closed the door. behind me after pressing the alarm. Then. I jumped over the gate with electrical. wire. I shocked a few times, fell. outside. I got up. I got up. I ran like a block away. I hid. in the bushes. I look I I watched the. whole thing. Like the whole thing. How. the cops came, how the securityities. came, how the ambulance came. I saw. everything. Like I was just up the road.

in the bushes hiding, checking. everything, you know. And then like few like it was like 2. hours after that I went home. I went to. go take a shower. One of my home boys. was actually there in the house. He can. also tell you the same story like I I'll. introduce him like in the future. whatever like then you can also tell the. same story like his way of how he saw. it. But anyway, um that's how it. happened. Like I like for me it's like I.

almost killed my own brother but I also. saved his life but but he could have. been dead. I mean is he is this a is he a prize? Is. this a prize? I think he wants to be an actor. No, my question is is this a prize if. you adopt this? This is my question. And. I'm being I'm being completely honest. and serious here. If you adopt this and. this starts stabbing people in the home, is this a prize? Is this a prize?

Could I defend Taki here? Yeah, sure. Uh, so they encourage. Everyone will I I'm always the monster. [laughter] I'm always the monster. Everyone will defend the guy who just. said he stabbed his brother in the neck. I It's my fault. It's Deantwood's fault. It's everyone's fault cuz he's. supposedly traumatized by a couple of. blood rituals. A little black magic in. the bush. Little black magic in the. bush. Uh is not a reason to uh attack. your brother with a knife. Sir,

who hasn't done a blood ritual with. their parents in a bush? Defend Taki. Ninja and uh what's her name? Yolandi. Ninja and Yoli. I like you FREAKY AND I LIKE YOU. They uh they knew he fought with his. brother a lot and they encouraged him to. be a man and to to kill his brother. And. so when he stabbed him a bunch, they. said they shook Ninja shook Taki's hand. and said, "Congratulations. You've.

you're you've you're finally a man. You've stuck up for yourself." He was. like 12 at the time. Well, how is that a defense of Taki? That's an indictment of the other two. That's not a defense of him. Yeah, that's fair, actually. I mean, I'm told to do a lot of things. I don't. do them. It's true. Yeah. He was an impressionable child and. maybe they gave him some false. confidence. I'm just Listen, it from. what I surmise, it wasn't a great family. unit for anyone involved.

I I don't think it was a a good thing. And I wish everyone the best here. I. just, you know, Yes, it's you know, but. you know the deal. Uh when you move in with De Antward, right, you're not I mean he was too. young to know the deal, but his mother. should have known the deal when she sent. her child to live with Deantword. in the middle of some South African. nightmare.

I mean, the music's fine, too, but after. a while, you're like, "Okay, enough. already." But to fully enjoy it, I think. you got to be on Bassalts running around. the bush with a machete. [snorts] Anyway, moving on. Wish Wish. them well. It's Hey, it ain't a Hallmark. Christmas card. That's all. That's all. It's not a Hallmark Christmas card. I. love watches. Everyone loves watches. But you want to get a good watch for a. good price. Go to vincerocollective.com. vintrolective.com/timdillan.

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That is onit.com/tim. [groaning]. I love Onit. I use Onit. Do you love it? Yeah, I use Alpha Brand. I use all THE. SUPPLEMENTS. YOU USE IT OR NOT? OH, and I like the protein bites. They're tasty. Oh, they're good. The economy is really in trouble. Netflix down 71%. A lot of the streamers are getting. beaten up. A lot of the tech companies. are getting battered. Bitcoin falling.

Everybody upset, interest rates rising, real estate market starting to soften. Uh, the cost of debt has gone up. dramatically for all of these companies. like Netflix that were running on debt. Wealthy Americans are buying second. passports as a plan B for their. families, citing the pandemic, climate. change, and political turmoil. Well, who. called this? Not Taki, but I did. I said. people were going to get the [ __ ] out of.

this country. I'm thinking about it. myself. My grandfather was born in. Ireland. I might be able to get EU. citizenship. uh by uh I don't know some. type of thing. Um maybe I'll move in. with Deantword. But the point is people. are really starting to look at America. not as this inevitable world power. anymore. They're looking at it as a. place they might want to have. Hey, maybe we'll have a spot there. But you.

know, cuz it was during the pandemic, people were looking at New York and LA. going, "Oh, maybe they're not. inevitable. Maybe I should just have a. spot there." Now, it's kind of like. people are looking at the whole entire. country going, "Hey, maybe it's not. inevitable. Maybe I'll just have a spot. there. Maybe we'll just have a home. there and we can uh, you know, kind of. jet sit around, be a citizen of the. world." It says here, "The number of. wealthy Americans buying quote golden. passports has skyrocketed over the past. three years. The top programs grant. citizenship to foreigners who invest.

millions of dollars in the country. US. applicants are citing COVID, all kinds. of other things, climate change, political division, and people want out. The most expensive programs range from. 1.1 million in Malta to 9.5 million in. Austria. We see these programs as an insurance. policy. a managing partner at Latitude. Residency and Citizenship said, "We've. had some billionaires approach us and. ask, "What's the best place to live if. there's a climate catastrophe or if.

there's another storm or a global. pandemic? Where should I be?" You know. what's funny? The four the Beverly Hills. Hotel, which we love, sent me a little. thing. They sent me a package and. they're like, "To all of our really. treasured guests, we'd like you to write. some of your favorite memories to the. Beverly Hills Hotel and send them back.". And you know, I love the Beverly Hills. Hotel, but like I don't want homework, you know, but and they send you like. stationary to write it. You know, you're. supposed to write it on like stationary, I guess. And I wanted to write like I. felt really safe there during the riots. or something. And you go like, what are.

you going to what am I going to what am. I going to write here? And I love the. Beverly Hills Hotel, but it's like I'm. not trying to do a book report. I don't. want to write a what. Um, but it just. made me think about like all of the. people that, you know, over the last. couple of years who've really just. started to say, you know what, I have a. lot of money and I like America and it's. a great place, but there's other places. too that I may like and if there's. another pandemic or there's a climate.

catastrophe, which there will be, or. there's a civil unrest, I would like to. maybe go somewhere else. And you look a. lot into climate and aren't there places. that they're going to fare better during. climate catastrophes than other places, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to get out. of the south. You got to. Yeah. What are the places that are going. to do? Okay. Is it that Cordelane Idaho. area? Is it the mountainous regions? Too many fires up there. Oo. So, you got. Didn't think about that.

You kind of got to go up where uh. Giannis is up in that area. Up in the uh. the Fingerlakes all around there. uh. upper Michigan and like parts of uh like. Mont Montana and Wisconsin. Like that's. kind of it, parts of Canada. I'll die. I'd rather die than live in upper. Michigan. But no, but that is a I understand what. they're saying. They're saying you got. to get away from the waters. Well, you got to get a place with. and the fires. and you need fresh water to drink and to. grow crops. You needed a water aquifier,

maybe a well, no hurricanes, no flooding, no uh fires, no uh and no food shortages. Yeah. So, you need And by the way, let's. talk about the food shortage because a. lot of people are saying that this is. actually Well, first of all, this I love. this. This is new. And by the way, you. know that uh and by the way, we know I'm. not a fitness guru. It's not how I've. made my living, but uh I'm not claiming. to be that. You know what I mean? This. is I'm not a wellness expert. This isn't.

what I do. But you know that evil. billionaires do put out content through. like a lot of times they will put. content out through like these wellness. blogs and stuff because like uh it'll be. some version of like three meals a day. We don't think so. And you know that. that's coming from people who are trying. to prepare you for not having food. It's not about your hel your health and. wellness. That's not what it's about. I.

tell you that right now. No one really. cares about your health and wellness. They don't care that if you're hot. because that's all health is. It's like. are you hot? Do people want to [ __ ] you? That's like that's what wellness means. It really should mean like are you. healthy and whatever, but that's not. what it really means. It means are you. [ __ ] Can you put things in your. [ __ ] and make money online? It doesn't. mean like are you you're like what how. how are your cells like it's not all the. wellness things are about being hot. there's nothing wrong with being hot it.

should be the goal right but when they. when they have these things and they do. all the time like there's just articles. that are weirdly suspicious they're like. are you drinking too much water like and. you you start going to yourself like. wait a minute who's this for and where. is it coming from and I saw one of them. and I thought about it and this is what. it uh and where is this from what uh. study finds. Uh let's see. Study finds research in a nutshell. So. this is some think tank. Somebody's bank.

rolling this. Ready? End of dinner. Landmark study shows eating only during. daytime could add years to your life. So. again, you have the food shortages and. inflation and the cost of everything's. gone up. And now the articles are. starting to come out. They're like, "Hey, you need to eat at night, too." Guys, guys, uh, you ate during the day. Yeah, that's when you eat. They'll start.

gaslighting you. Be like, uh, dinner was. like never, it was like never thing to. eat at night. [laughter] It's like a. rich people thing as a luxury. Occasionally you'll have a dinner, but. the the vast majority of people eat. bread for breakfast and some type of. grain and then whatever uh old meat that. we've given them and then they're done. eating by dusk because you don't eat at. night. Eating primarily during the day instead. of at night could be key to longer life. Researchers from the University of Texas.

Southwestern Medical Center, well there. I mean that's the top school in the. world. Uh said it's not what you consume. but when. Our study finds that cutting. down on fatty and sugary foods and. having meals at the right time increase. the longevity by 35%. Experiments found. the body's clock daily rhythms play a. big part in the benefits of a healthy. diet. Now, we all know you shouldn't eat. late at night. We all know these things. We all know that you should eat in a. certain window. Nobody's arguing about. that. What's funny to me is that the. articles just comes out coincidentally. as everybody's talking about like a food.

shortage, these articles start to. trickle out where they're like, "Uh, I. don't know about dinner. That's a little. archaic. Should eat during the day. Don't you want to be healthy? Uh, within. that in mind, study authors say people. should restrict their dining to the most. active hours during the day, which for. most Americans are nothing. There is zero. At least at night, you have a night. terror. You're somewhat active. Most. Americans are slothlike for the entire. day. They're koala bears. And at least. at night, they're slightly active.

because they wake up uh terror because. they owe so much money to everybody. and. they run around their house and they're. having like acid reflux and they're. spitting up uh hot, you know, garbage. that they just ate at a fast food place. and so at least they're a little active. at night. During the day in lab animals. tracked over four years a reduced. calorie diet alone extended survival by. 10%. However, the improvement increased. significantly with an exclusive. nighttime feeding schedule. I'm sorry. Uh.

uh the combination tacked on an extra. nine months to their typical 2-year. average lifespan. However, the. improvement um. uh however the improvement increased. significantly with an exclusive. nighttime feeding schedule. I don't know. what that means. What does that mean? They seem to be reversing themselves. Lead author Professor Joseph Tekashi. says a similar plan for people would. restrict eating to daytime hours. Okay, because animals are active at night. Eating less is known to boost health. Studies on a ver, you know, so again,

this is what's coming here. It's It's. not Listen again, we all know that you. shouldn't be eating [ __ ]. cheeseburgers at [ __ ] 900 PM. What. this is really said here they go. Does. intermittent fasting really work? This. is the next thing to watch this. The. next thing is going to be just fasting. They're like, "How about fasting? Forget. [ __ ] the intermittent. Just fast. We. don't have any more food for you. We've. spent all the money. Sorry.".

So, it's just funny to now bring up. something about these food shortages. because people are panicking. A friend. of mine texted me. She's like, "Do you. think the food shortages are real?" And. I'm like, "Yeah, I believe they probably. are.". Oh, these are bad headlines. Baby. formula shortages. Baby formula, a big shortage right now of baby. formula. Go up to the first one. Baby uh the baby food one. Parents stressed over baby formula. shortage and limits. quote, "It's.

insane. A baby formula shortage has turned into. a nationwide food crisis for parents. across our country desperate to feed. their infants. Retail outlets have seen a 30% drop in. the availability of some popular brand.". Well, then just start writing articles. about that. Is your infant too relying. on formula? Is your infant a fat [ __ ]. Our new blog about infant wellness says. that your infant should start how about. they start doing intermittent fasting.

Retail outlets have seen 30% drop in the. availability of some popular brands due. to supply chain issues, labor shortages, inflation, safety concerns. Were you breastfed or bottlefed? Breast. I was bottlefed. It's interesting. Um, bottlefed. go into that because I'm curious now. as to. because everyone said like the bottlefed.

kids were going to be all [ __ ] up. Maybe they are. I haven't looked at the. stats, but the breastfed kids are [ __ ]. up. You want me to see bottlefed versus. breastfed? Yeah. Are there any stats on that? Because isn't this couldn't this be if. you're making your own milk, do you need. the formula? I'm I'm ignorant of this. Maybe. infants who are formulafed or fed a. mixture of formula and human milk were. 2.8 8 times more likely to develop. gastrointestinal infection than those. who were exclusively breastfed. So it's. a little better to breastfeed.

Looks like it. Now why don't. now not all women breastfeed and it's a. thing, right? Is it health? Uh yeah. Well, you don't also don't want. to take the breast out everywhere you. go. So it's just easier to just have it. in the bottle and and everything. And it. hurts the woman, too. The the baby will. chew on the on the nipple. Yeah. Well, my whole thing is is there a cure. for this if everybody just starts. breastfeeding? Would that solve this?

I I guess so, right? Cuz I don't know. It's unlimited. It comes from the. breast, right? Let me Google. Do you need Do you have. to feed babies formula? Do you have to. feed? When your toddler is 12 months old, you. can switch from infant formula to plain. whole cow's milk. So, it's a year. Okay? Or fortified unsweetened soy beverage if. you want HIM TO BE A SOY BOY.

UM, so the deal is it's only this is a. year, but it's still a problem if you. can't get formula in a year and for. whatever reason if you can't breastfeed. and the children are uh, you know, suffering. Didn't Biden just came out and goes. it'll get worse. That's always nice. It's always good when when when the. politicians make it feel better. Well, this was what he said on March.

25th. He goes, "It's going to be real.". That's great. It's going to be real, man. That's always good to hear. But he. just said something recently. It's on. Drudge. I think he said like, "It's. going to get worse." I think he's like, "Hey, man. I know it's bad now, but it's. actually going to be uh worse. You know, you're not going to You think things are. rough, it's going to actually get. worse." Biden finally admits soaring. inflation is a real tough problem. Suggests it may get worse here. Play.

this uh clip. Okay. He's like, "You're going to have less. formula. You have You think you think you have no. formula now?" He goes, "Formula? Buying a bottle of baby formula is going. to be like buying a bottle of Crystal.". [laughter]. Do you take any inflation in this. country? Do you take any responsibility. your policies? I think our policies. help, not hurt. Think about what they. say. The vast majority of the of the uh.

uh e of the economist [clears throat]. think that this is going to be a real. tough problem to solve, but it's not. because of spending. We've brought down. the deficit. The bottom line is how much. does America owe? How much in the hole. are we going? We're reducing that. Well, that makes you feel better. If if you're sitting there and the. formulas run dry and you're sitting. there with a screaming infant and then.

he comes out and he's like we're people. are in the hole. It's not about. spending. It's about how much do we owe? We're. reducing that. We're we're fixing that. Come on. Free email services like Gmail. and Yahoo aren't really free. You pay. with your privacy. In fact, the internet. giants like big tech bank on exploiting. your data by selling it to the highest. bidder. Your business plan, Google has. it. Your medical records, Yahoo. consultant, drug companies. We got to be.

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startmail.com/timd. That's startmail with a t. Start s t a r. t mail.comtimd. for 50% off your first year. Startmail.com/timd. I'm telling you right now when we find. out what big tech is really doing to all. of us and how much data they're. harvesting data is like surpassed oil is. the most profitable commodity. We're. going to be livid. It's your job. It's. on you right now to protect yourself. Whether you're communicating with email. or whatever you're doing, whether it's. VPNs or whatever you're doing, what you.

really need to start doing is really. taking extra care to protect yourself. online because these companies are. harvesting your information all the. time. So, Startmail is a great way to. support private email correspondences. Everyone should ditch spy mail and. switch to Start Mail. I mean, it's. really ugly. How much is Bitcoin down? Huh? It's like at 31,000 right now. It may be. time to buy soon. Buy some coin. Oo, it's even down lower.

It's 30. It could be. I don't know. Is it the death nail? I. don't think so. Is it at the floor? It. could be. Smarter people than me think. it's still there's still some blood in. the water. And I just, you know, I'm uh. I don't know. I'm I'm not ready to buy. any yet. I'm not ready to buy any yet. But it. could be. I like this bo Vox. Why the. stock market and Bitcoin keep crashing.

The stock market's panicking, but you. don't have to. Yeah. I mean, it it it's really uh if. you have money now, it'll be a great. time to make money. You can buy stocks. at, you know, you know, when they hit a. floor or when you think they're at a. floor. You can buy Bitcoin. This is when. people get rich, right? PE rich people. get even richer when they have the. opportunity to go in and swoop in and. buy things um that other so I mean I.

don't know if you are in a financial. position to monitor this stuff and go in. and buy some stuff it could be nice and. you could look back on it years from now. why don't you why don't we buy baby. formula and sell it. like like buy it up in bulk could we do. that is there any law preventing us? Probably, but from buying baby formula. in bulk and then going to poor areas and. selling it.

Yeah, because grocery stores can buy. them in bulk, right? So, so could we. I. mean, it's a great idea to just buy. instead of merch on our website, let's. just sell baby formula at an increased. cost. It's it's called arbitrage. It happens all the time. buy baby. formula and sell it to B. And let's be. it's not the time. This is crazy. Now. they're overturning Roie Wade. Nobody. has formula. Those babies do not need to be here.

Truly. And the reality is those babies. are going to show up hungry for formula, which we don't have. So, it's time for. the Supreme Court to [ __ ] relax and. [ __ ] extend abortion to seven or. eight months even. really on the operating table. At this. point, the economy demands on the. operating table depending on the price. of formula that day you should be able. to get rid of it.

If formula is high the week before. you're about to give birth, they should. have a special before they overturn Roie. Wade. What if they did this? They're. going to overturn it, but they said for. the next 6 months, because of the. shortages on formula and how expensive. everything is, we are planning to. overturn Roie Wade, but for the next 6. months, abortion is legal up into and. including day of birth.

just to, you know, just get in while the. getting's good and then we're banning. it. But up to including the day of birth. where they will you literally give birth. to a baby. and they give it lethal injection. [laughter]. ON THE OPERATING WHAT ON THE operating. table because right now we financially. can't do it. It's like, have you ever. wanted a puppy and your parents had to. go, we can't do it right now.

People are desperate. We We can't even. control the babies we have here in our. country. We certainly can't be bringing. We should do a Chinese style ban on. birth. A not I'm not even kid 100%. Get a Bitcoin if you want to have a kid. and see if you can watch that for a year. with the highs and lows of that. It's. [ __ ] pretty emo. Like a lot of people.

say, "Oh, having a kid's greatest thing. in your life. Have you owned a Bitcoin?". The highs and the lows. Oh, your kids. your your kid just won a a [ __ ]. hockey game. EVERYONE'S HAPPY. OH, BITCOIN'S HIGH. OH, THE KID BROKE HIS. ARM in the next hockey game. I'm worried. Bitcoin's low. A Bitcoin is a perfect uh replacement. for a child. All the highs and lows that. you used to get from a traditional. nuclear family structure you can now get. from cryptocurrency. Yes or yes? Yes.

You don't need a bunch of children. running around your house. Unless you're. Deant and you want to do blood rituals. with them, you don't need them running. around your house. You can get all of. that fulfillment and drama from Bitcoin. if you own crypto and you watch it go up. and down. What do people do when they. have a kid? They have all this mommy. [ __ ] right? Mommy bloggers, they watch. YouTubetubes of mommy. We've got that. The crypto community has all of that. You can watch Will Clementy, that uh.

[ __ ] uh 19-year-old autistic twink, and he just sits here and he rattles off. things all day. Listen, all you can. clearly. replace your need to have children with. the Bitcoin. world. Just buy a Bitcoin. A Bitcoin. costs $30,000. Okay, that's essentially the startup. cost of having a baby when you think of. the cribs and the stuff. And it only. gets more expensive from there. My point. is that it's incredibly irresponsible.

right now to have children. We need to. put like a year or two moratorum on all. birth in America. where if you if you're laughing but I'm. not wrong. The reason China's overtaking. us is because they don't get emotional. about this [ __ ]. Moratorum on all birth for one to two. years of every race. Don't even come at.

me with that. It's not about that. every. race. Close the doctors and hospitals. down in OBGYNS. Close it down. Treat. mothers like criminals. Put them in jail. and forcibly abort their children for a. period of one to two years until the. economy can rebound and give them crypto. while you're give them crypto so they. can [ __ ] have something to watch and. care about every day and look after.

Give them cryptocurrency, take their. babies from them, and kill them. We. don't have the money. It's incredibly. selfish to keep bringing life into this. world when we have artificial. intelligence, AI. We have enough. simulated life. We don't need any more. biological life. We've got enough. Elon, things are getting better. Elon Musk is. is buying Twitter. He's going to let me. threaten to kill my aunt on Twitter. again. Things are going to be okay. Elon's. going to let me uh put my ants address.

on Twitter and tell people to go kill. her, I think. Isn't that what this is. about? Isn't Elon buying Twitter specifically. so that I can encourage my fans to go. kill my aunt? If that's not what it's about, I'm not. even excited about it anymore. That's my. question. My question is simply. I'm sick of this baby [ __ ] all the time. I'm sick of arguing about it.

I'm saying I'm let's let's not only. should we not ban Roie Wade. We should ban birth. Go the other way and just until. inflation comes down. until the cost of how bad is the the the. cost right now of the food the cost of. actual foods. of actual food. Yeah. Find out how much it costs. Let's. see if there's a list of like top 10. foods and how much they cost. I just.

spilled this water cuz I'm so. passionate. You want me to go get a towel? No. Okay. Can you look up the foods cuz I'm. curious about Here we go. Here's an item by item look at how much. more expensive your groceries are due to. inflation. Let's go. READ SOME OF THEM OFF. OKAY. A bag of orange. First of all, first of. all, [snorts]. first of all, we.

It is so funny how disgusting our. country is. By the sixth choice, it just. is disgusting. Tell everybody. So, bag of orange is up 14%. Okay. Ground beef, two pounds of beef up. 13%. Lando Lakes margarine. up 11%. I'm rounding. It's 11.4. Egglund's best. eggs up 11%. Milk up 11%. Now, here's.

where we get disgusting. Now, by the. way, this was just a general article. about the groceries of Americans. Ready? Tells you something. Entimman's classic. rich frosted donuts 16 ounce. These are your needs. This is your. necessities. These This was pitched. Go up. Go to the. title again. The title is title of this.

Here's an item by item look at how much. more expensive your groceries are due to. inflation. So they're talking about just general. like groceries. Okay. Entimman's donuts under that hungry man. boneless fried chicken dinner. What gas station attendant [laughter]. is this for? Hungry man boneless fried. chicken is up 11%.

Starbucks coffee is up 10%. Campbell. soup up 10%. Chips Ahoy cookies is up. 8.5%. Two heads of lettuce, which no one is. buying, is up 8%. Apples are up 7.8. Cornflakes is up. seven. Spam. Classic canned ham is up 7%. Spam. Spearmint chewing gums up 7%. Wonderbreads up six and a half. Soda,

two packages of 12. Well, you need 24. You need 24 uh cans of soda. [laughter]. That's up 5%. Of course, you need 24 cans of soda. Maybe you're a family of three. Hagadas vanilla ice cream. Well, this I. don't like. Hagadas vanilla ice cream is. up 3.3%. Russ and potatoes are up 3%. So. a trip to the grocery store for a family. right now is crazy. [clears throat]. It's really bad. And there's no end in.

sight. These [ __ ] billionaires, they've got. the inside line on everything. Even. inflation can't touch them. But I'm. about to walk it. You know, people go to. me all the time. They say to me, they. go, "You look like you figured it out. What do you What do I invest in? Stocks? No. Real estate? No. Crypto? Maybe, but. not on your life. Here's what you do. Invest in fine art. Well, Tim, I don't. have $100 million. How am I going to. invest in fine art? Oh, well, what if. there was a company that allowed you to. buy a share of a piece of fine art that. literally goes up in value in BTS and.

P500? And what if it was called. Masterworks.io/cd? That's right. No, that's the way their. regulations are. What it was, what if it. was called Masterworks? That's right. Picasso, Bascat, Banksky, lots of these. mofos are investing in mad amounts of. contemporary art. Why? Because 36%. average historical price appreciation. when inflation is at 3% or outpacing the. average total return of the [ __ ] S&P. for the last 25 years. Now there's. someone who could beat them with their. own game who's making art available to. people like us. I'm talking about.

Masterworks. I've mentioned it before. and I think this idea is genius and a. lot of you seem to agree. So I use my. massive swinging influence to get all of. our listeners priority access to skip. their weight list. Just go to. masterworks.art/tim. Do it right now. Go to. masterworks.artim. That's masterworks.artim. And see important regulation disclosures. at masterworks.iocd. That's masterworks.io/cd. for important regulations and. disclosures. But masterworks.art/jim. is where you start your investment.

journey. It's going to be amazing. Get. into it and see important regulation. A. disclosures at masterworks.io/cd. Many people are bald and it's. unfortunate, but you don't have to be. The best way to stop being bald is to. keep the hair you already have on your. head. Keeps offers an amazing way to do. it. They have convenient virtual doctor. consultations and medications delivered. straight to your door every three. months. 247 care and support. It's low. cost. Okay. Two out of three men will. experience some form of hair loss by the. time they are like 35 or something. I'm. telling you right now, you got to do it.

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large family, right? Right. There are recipes that you can make for. your family that will hold up, right? There are like things that you can make. that will last several days. You know, every day doesn't have to be a new meal. really. You can make like recipes that are, you know, resilient and they stand the. test of. time for people. Um, and there are a lot. there's a lot of them that like let's.

say you had a family. Let's say you you're an American family. You've got a you have a man and you have. a woman and you have two children. Okay? And you need to feed that unit. for five days. [laughter]. Monday through Friday. Okay. No, Monday through Friday. Okay. Okay.

Monday through Friday, what you could. do, how much is a 50 pound bag of rice? [laughter] Okay. Hold on. If you got a. 50B. bag of rice, okay, [clears throat]. [snorts] take a look at that rice. $30. That is a 50 pounder right there. $30. Yeah. Take a look at that. Riceland white long. grain rice. $50.

I'm going to show you people a little. trick. How much? Ragu tomato sauce. What? Ragu tomato. How much is it is my. question? Cuz it's what? 30 for the. rice? Yeah. 30. $30 for the rice. I want a big jar. You. go to the biggie. Okay. That big. How much is that? 8.5 lbs. That's right. I like sauce in pounds. [snorts]. RIGHT. CUZ MY AUNT USED to make this for. HER CHILDREN. MY AUNT made this meal for.

her children. I'm not kidding. Not Not. the one I dislike. The one I like. But. she made this for her children. I'm. going to tell you about a meal that you. can make for your family that will eat. through the week. Eat through the week. from Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. How much is that ragu? 1139. Let's do. some math. Let me get a calculator. Yeah, I'd like you to because we're. we're putting together a meal that eats. through the week. It's what you need to. do to survive these times. And I am a little bit of a gourmand. I.

can tell you exactly. what to do to make it special. Okay. So, right now, $41, we have what? We've. got eight pounds of tomato sauce, ragu. Yes. And we have 50 lbs of white rice. [laughter]. Okay. Ingredient number three, American. cheese. How much can you get American. cheese for? I'm talking about a block. Okay. A block.

Go to Deets and Watson right there. This one right here. Yeah. Deets and Watson. No, not white. American. Yellow. I like the color. Okay. So, that's going to be same price. Same price. What do we got? How How. much? Uh, we got uh half a pound for four. bucks. So, two pounds is how much? Uh, that. would be 32 ounces. Uh, eight uh $16, right? I'm sorry, my math is I'm like. [ __ ] But $16 for cheese. Add that. to the 41. Okay?

And I may do I may make this on the show. to show you how to do it. Here's what you're going to do. You're. going to get a big pot and you're going. to boil the white rice. Okay? Okay. When the rice is not all of it, not all of it, okay? You don't splooge. all over the woman before she's. pleasured. You take a little bit of the. rice that you need. However, whatever. will fill your family, you know. How.

many cups of rice per person? Two cups, three cups. About two cups. About two cups of rice per per person. More than a serving there. Yeah. More than a ser. But you give them a. lot. It's because this is what they're. eating. This is it. There's nothing. else. So you you give them a good amount. and you take you take the ragu tomato. sauce. You mix it up with the rice. Okay? And you could do the ragu with the. vegetables in it because then it is some. vegetables. And you mix it up with the. rice. You melt you go to the microwave.

after you've done that and you melt two. slices of American cheese or you could. shred it on top of the white rice and. the ragu tomato sauce. And you mix it up. You mix up the cheese. and the sauce and the rice. And then you. feed your family. [laughter]. Well, WHY ARE YOU SAYING NO? WHY ARE YOU SAYING NO, you privileged.

prick? What's What are you saying no. for? It's like dog food. No, it's not. It's not like dog food at. all. It's people need to live. [laughter]. You sick [ __ ]. People need to live. It's not dog food. It's white rice with ragu tomato sauce. and then melted American cheese through. it. [laughter]. And it gives you enough you can survive. for a week with how much money? How much. did that all cost?

Uh that was let's see here. So that was. $57.38. divided by five. Okay. Divided by five. Uh $1147. For $1147, you can feed your entire family for the. week. Is that a problem? [snorts]. Now, I'm going to do school lunch. Okay. I just gave you dinner. Okay. Breakfast is easy, right? Breakfast you could just buy big tubs of.

oatmeal. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Right. Easy. Easy. I'm not even dignifying breakfast. with an You can get free breakfast half. the time. Okay, you go pretend you work at a company and. get their breakfast. You can get free. breakfast if you want to get it. It's. easy to get free breakfast. Go attend a. seminar. They'll give you free. breakfast. Now, you don't need breakfast either for. school lunch. This is a very easy thing to do if you. want to make school lunch for your kids.

Okay. You get a bag of white rice. [laughter]. You get. ragu tomato sauce. And you get American. cheese. You cook the rice and you mix it in with. the tomato sauce. And then you melt the. cheese through the rice. You get a Tupperware and you put it in. it and you send them to school with it. [laughter]. That is easy. So, if people are.

complaining about inflation and that. they don't have any money, or you could. give your kids to Deantword. Either way, I don't care. I'm just saying it's an. easy meal. It's an easy meal. It's not a. big deal. Well, I'm sorry. What did you. eat, duck every night? [laughter] Is. that what you ate with your family? What. was a meal that you people would have? I don't know. Like, you know the. Don't you eat sandwiches on like. holidays? Yeah. Turkey sandwiches.

Spaghetti. What do you chicken spaghetti? Yeah. Which is like olives and uh. Is that worse than what I said? Not really. No. No. I I'm sorry. Is that better than what I. said? Like chicken spaghetti? Is that a thing? The thing you. described, is that a real thing or did. you just make it up? My aunt used to make it for her. children. What's it called? And one of them's a mover. He's doing. fine. Listen, what do you mean what's it. called? It's called rice with tomato. sauce and American cheese.

And you would eat it. She tried to make. it for me once. I threw the plate at her. head. I said, "Don't come near me.". But that's what it that's a way to eat. You You want a meal that'll eat through. the week. Eat through the week. What about stuffing? Oh, yeah. Can't you make a big pot of stuffing for. your family [laughter]. and just give them stuffing? stove top. That's pricey. Yeah, it's up there. It that is very expensive stove.

[clears throat] top stuffing. Yeah. Here's an off brandand from S. You know, my father used to make mashed. potatoes that started out as powder. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's like a divorced dad meal. You get. some powdered mashed potatoes. He would. take steak, London broil, he'd burn it. He put it on a bagel. That's like a divor. Yeah, that's right. Idahoen. This is instant potatoes.

This is what people in this country eat. They eat Tyson. Holly Farms. chicken. They eat instant mashed. potatoes. I mean, this is what people eat. and there's nothing wrong with it. This. is our diet. This is our culture. Yeah. Look at this, by the way. Pull. that up. This actually looks great. Tomato rice with cheddar. And you're.

acting like it's a like a problem. It looks like Olive Garden. Olive Garden. You'd be lucky as hell to. be at Olive Garden. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. It looks It actually doesn't look bad. You'd be lucky as hell to be in an Olive. Garden with the way things are going in. this country. That's the meal you make. Rice, sauce, cheese. Move on. Or you know those oyster crackers that. you get for free with a soup? Yes. If you give your kids like so for. example you can get those oyster crack.

you might be able to go to a restaurant. If you go to Red Lobster at the end of. the night you look sad and go do you. have any leftover oyster crackers? They. might give you some money. Also here's. the other thing folks. If things are. beg, you know, like. beg at local restaurants and if you have. cute kids, send the kids in to like. Applebee's end to shift and and tell. them go listen, if you turn the. waterworks on a little bit, we might be.

able to get something. Send your ch it. This is America. It's about ingenuity. It's not about sitting on your couch and. feeling sorry for yourself. It's about. sending your children in to local theme. restaurants to beg for food. That's America. It's why we fought all. these wars. If you don't have anything. to eat, send your children to Olive. Garden crying at 9:55.

and ask and just say, "We don't have any. food. My parents are too embarrassed to. ask, "Can you give us food?" Send your. children into the Olive Garden five. minutes before close and ask for. leftover food. Say, "I don't even care.". Even if it was on someone else's plate, I don't even Now, obviously, they're not. going to give you food off of someone. else's plate, but enhancing the. desperation will help you.

I mean, or you could just sit back and. take it. But if I know something about. America, the greatest country on earth, land of the free, home of the brave, it's that we don't we. really. when the going gets tough, the tough. send their children to into beg for. food. So, and then you can all go home with the.

food that you just got from the. Cheesecake Factory. They give you some. leftover food, maybe they give you a big. thing of mashed ters, and then you could go home and you could. watch Selling Sunset or one of the real. estate shows, and you could tell your children how. great it is that we live in a country. where people pay $10 million to live in. [ __ ] boxes. stacked on top of each other on top of. the Sunset Heroin Strip. And you can.

explain that to them while they eat. their mashed potatoes that they were. given because they cried at the. Cheesecake Factory during close. Or you could give them to Deantword, whatever. But. that's the way I feel. Tim Dylan. comedy.com. There are no live dates. Nothing to buy tickets to. Leave me. alone. Uh we don't have any merch. either. Go away. Special will be out in. June. It'll be irrelevant, but it'll be. fun. It's funny. It's good. It's fine. patreon.com. on the Tim Dylan Show for. exclusive content. We are going to catch.

up on some of the episodes. We've been. doing all the regular Patreon episodes, but we have a higher tier called the. Rothschild's tier. The Rothschild's. tier. Um, and we are going to do all. their episodes this week. We owe them a. lot. And we're going to do a a big. episode this week. Um, so it's a lot of fun over there on. Patreon. A lot of bonus content. We will. be around uh all the time now in this. studio. You're going to see us so much.

you're going to get sick of it. But I will tell you, I I I will tell you. this right now, and I and I mean this. I. I do believe in America. And I believe. that we're going to be able to get. through this time, which is difficult, economically, by begging. uh chain restaurants for food, having. children go in there and beg them for. food. And you tell your children, "Go. listen.". And you go listen. You want to eat the.

rice thing again? They're going to go, "I'm sick of You're going to go, "All. right, well, we're going to drive them. to a drive them to a Sonic. and have them cry. and maybe to give the family a. milkshake.". It's the greatest country in the world. I I mean, it is. Isn't that what all. these people keep saying? Oh, no. You. know, it's the greatest country in the world. because you can do this. This is what. makes it great. Because you can your.

children can can cry and go into a steak. and shake or whatever. and crispy cream. and they can cry and go, "My family. doesn't have any m money. They don't. they don't have any money." And. [laughter]. they won't they're they won't ask can I. have a donut? And they might give you 12 donuts. They. might give you a whole dozen.

We're going to get through it together. And the the way to get through it is to. be smart. To be smart about everything, you know, I mean, I think we're going to. handle it. A food shortage, by the way, is. hard to understand because um it seems. plentiful. Food seems so plentiful out. there. But there are a lot of families. that are struggling with the ability to. feed themselves.

And if there is a. charity. that you know of. that you can like recommend to me that. will help. like families that are in need of. food. let me know what that charity is, you. know, because it is. it is a tough predicament. It's that. certain people are in.

Um, but I before I donate, I want to speak. to the people and tell them to try this. first. I'll give you food if you try this and. it doesn't work, but try this. You got a couple of cute. kids, you might give them food. Not. Taki. Don't send Taki in there. They'll. call the cops. That won't work with Taki. Don't send. Taki into a Chili's. I'm saying for the.

other people. It's the greatest country. in the world. And I think that we should. all just understand uh that. So, next week, very exciting. We have our uh. summer special episode which will be uh. all of the uh places you can go on. vacation on a budget. We're very excited. about that because there are so many. places uh. that you can go now. and eat uh and I'm sorry and a vacation.

on a real budget. like a real budget. Um for like hundreds of dollars you. could take your family on a trip because. I think everybody needs a trip. It's the. summer. We've been through a hell of a. two years. And a lot of people are going. to do a station. They're going to get. the family together and everybody watch. the Gringo Poppy. But you also want to. go out there and be able to take them to. the amusement park and, you know, give. them food. So, we'll have that for you.

when we come back. Thank you. through. the night.