#293 - Fat Activism with Jessica Kirson | The Tim Dillon Show

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the i. have gray in my hair i gotta stop i. gotta i i i went to the hairstylist. today to get the gray out. and i i walked in and just immediately. laughed because i could see. that it was gonna be a horror and i you. like west hollywood salons or it's like. a lot of very peppy gay men and then and. very like brain dead women and gay men. it's like that unholy alliance. of gay men and very stupid women yeah. and everyone's very perky and i just.

said i can't even do this so but i'm. taping a special on saturday and i want. to. i want to look like i'm 17 years old so. i want to get some of the gray out. because i have nice hair but it's gray. it becomes a problem you have a great. head of hair it's all i have it doesn't. matter. you know what i mean it has no. effect it's like i have nice eyes you. know what i mean you do. yeah you're a handsome guy that's lovely. i do well with older women and lesbians.

yeah i find myself attracted to you. which is yes i know and you know maureen. at truetv always wanted to [ __ ] you know. and you know it's always like. and i was always like ah. okay i'm good. jessica kirsten is the funniest woman in. america i really believe that that's it. everyone rogan and me we all talk about. it you are. and we just so you destroy at the laugh. factory you destroy everywhere you go if. you're not following jessica you should. it's at jessica kirsten on twitter it's. very [ __ ] simple. it's very easy.

and she's on the road all the time. you're on the road and we were just. talking about the hell that the road is. it's horrific yeah it's a nightmare it's. a [ __ ] i mean it's why i do it. because i'm a miserable [ __ ] person. so it's very familiar for me it's it's a. you get into a good rhythm yeah yeah. yeah i mean i don't think i'd be okay if. i if if i wasn't doing that because it. would be just boring well it's also. we're addicts yeah and addicts love. like a like a depressing hotel oh yeah.

horrible coffee it tastes like urine. yeah ass juice. urine is actually would taste better. than what the coffee tastes like yeah. there's something about a nice. depressing there's something that's. standing on the side of the road. and just watching cars pass by yeah that. there's something soothing about that to. people that are very [ __ ] up and like. you said to me how many bags do i bring. so i'm going away for a month i'm like i. don't bring any i just go to the dxl the. fat store and i buy three. black 3xl shirts and sometimes i just.

throw them out. i just picture you like just throwing. them just on the street no i look like a. terrorist when i get on the plane. because i have nothing. i mean i have nothing. and i look like a guy that's on the. brink of something so they kind of size. me up they literally sometimes go that's. all you're bringing i go yeah. and then i just have to drive in the fat. store dxl is always 30 to 40 minutes out. of a city. because they're ashamed of it as they. should be so they put it so far out into. the suburbs you have to drive 30 minutes.

it's not even in the suburbs in. something called the exurbs which is. like 45 minutes out. that's the new term for it where it's so. far out. that you have to. uh keep driving past all the paneras and. you know and then you get there finally. and you get the three shirts and then. you wear them and you throw them out or. you bring them back or whatever what if. you're in like europe or something do. they have like fat stores let me tell. you right now. i will wear one outfit i don't know what.

to do no i'm gonna have to pack for. europe but the thing you have to pack. for yourself i'm not gonna be home. before europe so i have to buy clothing. and luggage. well they might have like a bed bath and. beyond you can get like curtains or. something yeah no i i'm gonna go to. europe and. i will i will not be able to purchase. anything yeah so i have to then like. cover myself you've been doing comedy a. bit a long time yeah i started in 99 so. i've been in this nightmare of a. situation.

for 23 years. when you started was it were people. smoking in comedy clubs was it that type. of environment what kind of environment. was it. no but they weren't smoking but they. were laughing and you could say anything. you wanted that i was i started during. that time that time yeah when it was you. were free to say whatever you wanted. yeah people came to laugh yeah and they. didn't think about every joke right now. they analyzed yeah now i say something. and there's this moment of like is it.

okay to laugh at that right so. yeah but you see what i do i just plow. through. you either laugh or you don't you know. that's why everybody respects you you. just don't give a [ __ ] um i i do it a. little bit but i i i don't i just have. to just do it and it's like whatever. happens happens you gotta just go i'm. barely functioning so i i now go up and. play sometimes like obviously i go up in. rooms where they you know people don't. know me i've had the luxury is going up. in a lot of rooms where people know me. now because they come to see me.

it's so much more fun and then i go out. and i say something and then there's. like a soccer mom who's like you know. what i mean and who thinks she's an. environmentalist because she has a tesla. never mind where that lithium ion comes. from whatever who cares. uh but they they they make the face they. you know they do the whole thing and. it's like and i'm not even attracted to. women so for me. i i have no you know it there's nothing. there i go we're on a bad date. and it's who will end soon enough. and then we'll just be done with that.

yeah you know yeah it's i mean people. have completely lost their minds we were. just talking about that especially here. in la it's i mean we're both sober and i. feel like i've taken 70 drugs things. that aren't even i don't know what's. going on yeah well people here in la. will say they're sober but they do all. of the drugs they're on crack i said. that to you like people will say i'm i'm. california sober i'm like you're on. crystal meth yeah you're literally just. shot people will tell you they do. shrooms and none of the people doing. shrooms are having any of the. revelations you'd hope they'd have yeah.

like none of these people are like. progressing in any area of their life no. they're taking shrooms they're going to. joshua tree they're sitting at under the. stars yeah and i don't know what's. happening i don't know if they're taking. dmt and the aliens are appearing i don't. know if they're arguing with the aliens. or the aliens like here's the way it is. and they're like well actually i don't. know what's going on but none of it. is uh. were you ever tempted to be like oh i. can be sober but do psychedelics no. to me being sober is sober i i can't do.

anything because it always leads to. other if that's right if i start smoking. pot i'm gonna suck a guy's [ __ ] on the. street corner and like. you know. i mean and i'm gay like it's not this is. not good i can't do anything it's not a. good situation no matter what i can't do. anything but their struggles to struggle. their food. everything everything i'll do anything. i'm a garbage can yeah i'm out of my. mind everything's a struggle yeah when. did you get sober. i mean i've been in and out for years.

you know but there's been times when. i've had you know six years at a time. eight years at a time right but again. anytime i thought i could do a little. something and what usually gets you like. what's the thing that pot so that's why. i'm saying like people that say i'm. sorry i've done that with cigarettes. i've quit cigarettes. 30 to 40 times in in my life really yeah. i was i was six years off them once. yeah yeah cigarettes are tough. it's very tough it's brutality yeah and. they're not even fun here's the thing.

about cigarettes they're disgusting yeah. they smell bad you feel horrible. when you don't smoke you feel so much. better yeah but it is the it's one of. the greatest products. because it can raise the price of it. italy it kills you in 19 different ways. and no matter how long like i used to be. five years without a cigarette and i'd. see somebody smoking a cigar and i go. damn i know. damn that looks good everyone misses. them it's a very oral thing. it's calming it's a it's it's tough it's. that was the hardest believe it or not.

that i think that was the hardest thing. i ever had to quit it was very hard very. hard to quit it was very hard and and i. and i i don't now thank god now i i. don't do it. but i know you really know i'm really. proud of you i'm proud of you for. quitting i have said to people in l.a i. don't smoke cigarettes anymore while. smoking cigarette they've looked at me. went good job man yeah because they're. so self-involved they're not even. noticing that you're smoking right. disgusting that's kind of the benefit of. living here you lie to each other's. faces and everyone believes that yeah.

yeah you can say i don't drink anymore. while you're downing a beer and people. are like that's great. so happy. i could face [ __ ] myself with like a. donut and you're like i don't need sugar. and they're like that's great with like. powder all over my eyes. no one listens to anyone here it's not. they're not even nobody's even paying. attention what do you think makes us. addicts. well i i don't know i mean nature is it. nurture i think it's i think it's a lot. of things i mean i i i don't know i.

don't know if i was born this way i mean. i'm from a family of food addicts so i. you know i'm from drunks i'm irish. catholic we're from drunks we're from. repressed sexuality i have an aunt who. you know has never been with a man and. she wears men's shoes and. you know what i mean not because she's a. lesbian because they're more comfortable. you know. and uh you know and she wears a strap. she had like a special friend in college. they were very close. so it's like men's shoes is my favorite.

yeah no i mean she she walks around the. house like storming around and like. mentions. so it's it's this is we come from these. places that have my mother's is. schizophrenic. you know and uh you know but now the. country is caught up to her. yeah like we locked her up 20 years ago. but now everyone is kind of saying what. she's said for years. so it's like i talk to regular people. and they say things similar to what my. mother said because the country has now. become kind of schizophrenic too it is.

totally so we should let her out you. should let her out she should just right. around she'll be fine just send her to. the capitol and buy her a a [ __ ]. viking hat. send her in she'll [ __ ] on the desk and. it'll be totally normal. yeah what what is your because a lot of. people call me and they go. or not call me but they message me and. they go. what is the best way to get sober i did. a.a for a while i should go to more. meetings i don't really go to too many.

meetings. uh what is the best way in your. estimation to change your life. from. from being. a drug addict or an alcoholic. or a food addict or whatever to being. sober kill yourself. no i hate. [Music]. jump in front of a car no. this is honestly. i it's a hard question i hate saying. this yeah because it's annoying.

but the program is the only way that it. is it really is the only way and i i'm a. child of a therapist. uh i've been to every single therapy. every [ __ ] therapist done everything. and it always comes back to that it's. the only way um for me that that's work. no you're right and i also think you. know uh being honest and working with. other alcoholics and helping people and. getting out of my own head because i'm a. selfish [ __ ] um. it's a lot of things but but working the.

program and working the steps has been. the only way i've been able to stay. sober and i've tried a lot of other. things i've tried i've tried doing it on. my own i've tried everything. um i'm the most sane when i work another. program and i i mean work a program and. and i hate saying that because i hate. having to have something yeah that helps. me like i have to do that ben doesn't. ben was lucky because he didn't need the. program on the program for him yeah so. it's very lucky sometimes people have a. mentor that comes in.

not everyone is lucky enough to have. someone like me who's relentlessly. positive and life-affirming oh ben. you're so lucky yeah. it's a real treat but i mean what. happened to the doctor the other day he. said to you he took all your blood you. said you're healthy and then what did he. say well i am low on vitamin d he said. i'm deficient on that but he said my. biggest health risk is just uh relapsing. yeah he goes because he goes don't look. up the. the numbers on it but the rate of. relapse is severely high yeah doctors.

are always positive here. very high are you sober ben i am sober. four years uh wow that's great tim. helped me oh that's amazing yeah. it's a fun. it's a fun. we have it's an aaa meeting every day. here. i miss you guys. if you guys don't work the program you. must be at each other's throats. sometimes we're not at each other's. throats there's a lot of tension we. should work the program that's something. we should do more i did. i did the steps i did everything yeah it.

works it does work it's it's good. especially you know in early sobriety. and even long-term sobriety you have to. do it. especially yeah in long-term sobriety. because you get you know once you're. comfortable that's cocky yeah exactly. and you go it'll be okay especially in. this in this business that we're in it's. you know people tend to be. yeah there's good support with comics. there's a lot there's a bunch of sober. comics and there's a very good support. system. you know um and it's it's helpful.

because this business is just. makes me want to you know shoot up. heroin into my anus. it makes me want to put a needle in my. [ __ ] you have a. you have a beautiful wife who's lovely. thank you yeah she's great and you have. children what's it like raising kids in. this world i'm never home so i don't. even raise them right it's really um. as long as they're attractive that's all. i care about yeah yeah thank god they're. pretty i have four daughters and they're. all stunning thank god because i really.

one of your daughter's amazing singer i. mean these are talented people yeah zoe. is almost 16. she goes to we live in. long island so i love that connection to. you and and she goes to the school for. performing arts there half the day she's. an amazing actress and singer do you. ever do you ever like worry about her. getting into the business yes but she. does you know they don't get as affected. by the rejection and [ __ ] she's pretty. and she has an agent she's a buck wall. and she auditions all the time i mean. she does get bogged down by it but she's. pretty good with it uh but yeah of.

course it's it's and and she's there's. so many girls that look and she's a. stunning right dark hair you know blue. eye like there's a lot of girls that. look like her and a lot of stuff is is. going to other girls now that's the. truth it's right so um. so there's that and then i have a. six-year-old daughter and i have twin. three-year-olds you know i have two baby. mamas it's [ __ ] crazy it's wild yeah. and do you get along with both of them i. do i do i mean it's i'm i'm i'm lucky i.

i have a good situation. i can't believe i have all these kids i. never thought i'd have one kid but i. couldn't say no now did you do surrogate. did you do i we did in vitro as they so. each of them you know my my ex sherry. had zoe and then danielle my current. wife had isabella madison and charlotte. and you've had none of them no i would. never have a kid i'd feel like i was. like. i i'm very male in a lot of ways so i. would i've never. for one second thought of carrying a. child like i would feel like i was an.

ali. all day about being implanted and. carrying a child really. yes i think it's an inevitability that i. get pregnant and have a child wow. no i i really like it. i like the idea of being entitled and. angry and having cravings and calling. ben at 3am i go get me pickles. and you know he goes like you know i i. buy all these dumb houses and [ __ ] and. stuff i don't even live in them and it's. just because i'm an addict so i just. love real estate yeah i just love.

realtors and going in and out of houses. going to open houses we go to open. houses that's ria. and uh but it's also good to put money. in pla because my business manager will. steal and i mean he's a sweetheart but. he'll steal yeah and and i think he's. he's pretty you know i mean the first. time we met him he'd come from five guys. he had mustard on him i said oh he'll. take. our money as soon as we have enough of. it you know he's he's talking about. racing nft horses i mean the guy's he's. on the ledge yeah and so what what what. you know but that's something like you.

know ben always tells me like don't do. this don't do this don't you don't need. this you're not even gonna enjoy it but. i think it'll be funny when i have a. baby in me and ben will be like i told. you not to do this what would you rather. have a girl or a boy just so we can know. because you can kind of plan that i'd. like a girl okay and i'd like a girl. because they're i i have the perfect. idea of what a woman should be. i think you know for and more than. anyone. i know what a woman should be and with. guys you know i i you know they kind of. just go their own way i.

have a real idea of what a a woman. should be in my estimation and what. should a woman be um or just some. examples i'm curious. you know my dream daughter. is a. very cold. yeah and withholding woman. i like that yeah no and i'm attracted to. that yeah a very you know pretty. or even if she's not pretty. cold and withholding.

and i feel like there's too much. nurturing going on right now yeah and i. i think women should go back to being. cold and withholding and a little. aloof. i like a woman who smokes a cigarette. and stares at the sky yeah i like a. little aloofness there's two. people are p it's overdone now mm-hmm. and i i like that and i would i don't. know how i would create that in a person. but i would try definitely you can. damage her yeah no that would be the. goal and intimacy issues that would be. the hope yeah you don't hug her too much.

and you if you if you're very. inconsistent that would help because i. think that those types of women. select an appropriate mate. because there's a lot of women that make. very bad decisions. with who they choose to spend their. lives with yeah and i think i would like. my daughter to be kind of really. evaluate a guy on a bunch of different. levels and go. i'm getting into a partnership with you. does doesn't make sense yeah do you ever. worry that your daughters may choose.

uh to be with someone who's not good yes. a lot. a lot. you know i i i. i zoe i i trust zoe zoey's very like. free spirited and like yeah and kind of. a little. um. you know she thinks everyone's good and. kind of. like naive a little bit so that scares. me but i'm very like clear with her and. so is my ex about how like people can be.

really. horrible right and evil at times because. that's honest you know that's real and. i'm like you got to be really careful. like people are not what's good is like. you're involved my family's always been. so uninvolved in my life yeah they're. not involved in any respect like my dad. is a fan of mine but it's like he's not. he's not involved he doesn't really ask. like is it what's going on are you. dating someone do you feel okay are you. alive it's very much like you'll call me. and go david spade mentioned do you want.

howard stern isn't it it's all about the. business yeah it's all about the. business so which is fine right but it. is it is. i we i was raised by the worst. generation of people on earth the boomer. and the boomer did and i've conducted an. exhaustive survey of the boomer. the boomer. not all of them but a lot of them it was. a generation of. terribly selfish people yeah. terribly selfish.

that are constantly aggrieved. their entire lives have been a struggle. even though when you when you look it. hasn't been. houses were cheap cars were cheap. the land was theirs to pillage and they. did yeah um. and they believed that kids were. obstacles to their own fulfillment and. their fulfillment involved golf and wine. uh it was not. per se. uh you know. you know they were like they were the. hippies.

and they just turned hard away from that. and they kept all because hippie you. know that culture was all about like. exploring yourself and but it had a lot. of spiritual components so what they did. when they came out of that is they they. kept the self. that that culture had and lost all of. the spirituality and just became very. selfish people and i'm not i'm not. saying anything bad about um my parents. other than the fact that they like. shouldn't have been parents.

yeah well i mean most people i think a. lot of people shouldn't be paranoid but. i'm happy they were or tried yeah yeah. they weren't abusive they didn't they. didn't burn me with cigarettes. well i think you i know a lot about your. life you know and you had a tough time. it was tough it was not the best it. wasn't it was not the best wasn't it but. my parents have let me know that was a. lot was had to do with me. i know it was my fault i know which is. which is horrific. it's horrific now now.

the outcome is your brilliance well. that's very sweet that's very true. that's right that's why you're so. talented and brilliant yeah and and we. become. i do think that i am. funny because i went through so much. pain i think that humor com i don't. think i know that humor comes from pain. and i don't i think the funniest people. have been hurt the most that's my. personal opinion right you know when. people go on stage and they're so. [ __ ] funny i'm like that person has. gone through [ __ ] right i really believe.

that for sure um you ever look at comics. you haven't been through anything and. you go what are you doing oh yeah i'm. like you're too okay yeah you're like. why are you doing this there's so many. comics who are just clever i never laugh. at clever comedy. and i have people do like they'll do. well on stage louie said something great. once it's like i forget did louis say it. i forget who said i think it was louis. where it was like it's comedy for people. who went to vassar yeah yeah yeah it was. some it might not have been louis but. somebody it was like that type of. where it's like it's very it's very well.

thought out. yeah i've never laughed at seinfeld now. he's a great writer i've never once. laughed at it here's the most brilliant. thing because he's technically one of. the most brilliant comics i'm i'm sure. he loves him he'd love me. uh that's sarcastic but. um. what the one time i really laughed at. him is he did a speech for the clio. advertising awards where he goes. uh it was the funniest thing that i've. ever seen him do because it was the most. real bet ben can get it up.

this is him being the most real i've. ever hold on one second this is him. being the most real. i've ever seen it is my one of my. favorite things i've ever seen a comic. do because the thing with him is. some of his jokes are so technically. brilliant they're brilliant. brilliant writers. there is. sort of you feel like you you feel like. you don't know him and that's my thing. that's what i'm saying i i this is just. my personal opinion but here if you. watch this this to me. is one of the best things cause now i do.

kind of feel like i know him if you. watch this. i am excited to win this this. this is the award they give you when. they don't think you can actually win. one. but they think you've done a pretty good. job and seem to have been around for. quite some time. and that's how i got it. i would like to thank ogilvy and. maythere in american express for getting. me into this business.

that was the first time i did it i would. like to thank my manager george shapiro. my incredible wife jessica. and amarati for keeping me going. i love advertising. because i love lying. in advertising everything is the way. you wish it was i don't care. that it won't be like that when i. actually get the product being. advertised because in between seeing the.

commercial and owning the thing. i'm happy. and that's all i want. tell me how great the thing is going to. be i love it i don't need to be happy. all the time. i just want to enjoy the commercial. i want to get the thing we know the. product is going to stink we know that. because we live in the world and we know. that everything stinks. we all believe hey maybe this one won't.

stink. we are a hopeful species. stupid but hopeful. but we're happy in that moment between. the commercial and the purchase and i. think spending your life trying to dupe. innocent people. out of hard-won earnings to buy useless. low-quality. misrepresented items and services is an. excellent use of your energy.

that's different than what he does. that's right this is why i love it here. keep watching this is great. because a brief moment of happiness is. pretty good. i also think that just focusing on. making money and buying stupid things is. a good way of life. i believe materialism gets a bad rap. it's not about the amount of money. nothing's better than a bic pen a vw. beetle or a pair of regular levi's.

if your things don't make you happy. you're not getting the right things. this will all be in my new book soulful. materialism which is in the planning. stages. at this moment. i have always wanted a clio. i don't know much about it. but i know it's a good award. because in 1991 they screwed up this. whole presentation.

and there were a bunch of awards left. over and all of these ad people here. climbed up onto the stage and tried to. grab them. so to me that says this means something. that really happened and it's my. all-time favorite award show occurrence. because it was so honest. people just said i want a damn clio and. they went for it. and that is why i am happy right now.

i got this. i didn't really win it but i got it. and tomorrow i don't know where this is. gonna be it'll be somewhere. eventually i'll be dead someone will. just take it or sell it or throw it out. and that's fine i'm happy now. the same way those executives were in. 1991 when they ran onto this stage and. grabbed trophies that weren't theirs. [Applause].

but it trumped up their phony careers in. meaningless lives. so thank you all i mean it's like so. that. i saw that i was like this is like. this moment it's real yeah it's totally. real and dark and dark but he's not. i've watched him a million times it's. not his usual thing it's safe and it's. not. real a lot it's just yeah it's a. different thing yeah it's a different. thing what do you think. like is happening.

you know with comedy right now where you. have a lot of comics who are cool. and you have a lot of people that seem. like. they are on stage to make a point. [Music]. and. they feel like they're a gay comic. or they're a comic of color or they're a. comic or they're a trans comic it. doesn't feel like the community of. comics feels more divided and splintered. now than it's kind of ever been. it feels like the identity of comic.

to me is such a powerful strong identity. it should unite all these different. groups of people. under that umbrella it doesn't seem to. anymore it seems to be weirdly. balkanized or everybody's kind of doing. their own thing it is yeah it is divided. um. a lot of comics have gone. at each other which i am not used to it. was very united for my entire career. yeah and now um people are incredibly. judgmental of each other i i personally.

have never judged comics for what they. do so it's very odd for me to see. comics going at each other yeah um i i. could hate someone's act. be disgusted by it um. hear what they have to say and want to. vomit and want them to die. but i still believe they have the right. to say it. so uh yeah and i just you know i i laugh. at what's funny. and i just think the funniest people. should get hired for work that's right.

so it's just i don't know what's going. on good luck with that point i know. i just keep doing what i do and saying. what i say and i don't let anyone. silence me in long island do you ever. encounter homophobia. oh not in long island um. i mean i word things and say things in a. certain way so that i make people feel. absolutely ridiculous if they were to be. homophobic from my material right. but when i'm on the road.

right um i definitely get some people. that get tense. right um and it's more of like the. religious people i remember when i first. started on long island there was a lot. of weirdness i would. say something about being gay people. would go and that's not a huge part of. my act i have one or two jokes yeah me. yeah about it but it was weird back then. people be like oh what like what like it. was a different time but things have. gotten a lot. things have changed a lot a lot of. people don't want to admit that or they.

don't believe that but. first-hand experience i think people's. attitudes have changed they've changed a. lot and i gotta tell you they're a. little more homophobic with men. sure when it comes to comedy absolutely. definitely absolutely i think with women. there's never been a big gay male comic. stand no right no no. not at all i mean the no. i'm thinking about it. out of the closet there's never been a. big gay male stand-up comic no i'd say. you're. by far the biggest there's ever been.

by far well. i mean you don't talk about it a lot but. i mean you're out and you're. the most famous there's ever been that. i'm sorry that's crazy to think about i. don't know if that's the case yes it is. i mean there's mario cantone but he's. he's not i mean it's not at your level. as a stand-up i'm just saying as an. actor. but he's musical and it's different. right there's i don't know who el and. he's not it's not the same thing i'm. just saying he's cause there's no. because there's an ellen there's alan. right ellen's a male comic who's.

comic than you are. that's true but as lesbians they've had. big comics huge they've had huge. lesbians my god sarah sandra there's. tons of them. tons right um. but no there isn't i i'd say you're that. you are that's wild yeah i don't know i. mean think about it i've never thought. about it but yeah i've never i don't. either but that's a real statement i've.

always just never. knew that but i never i also never. like people and it's weird like. i understand people's point when they. say representation matters you know i. want to see myself someone that looks. like me doing something i totally get. that. maybe i i don't know i never saw that. but i never cared. i don't care either it's such a small i. never care like i never saw a big gay. male comic but i never. cared it didn't make me think it was off.

the table. i know i don't think about that stuff i. just think about who's funny like i. don't right. but it's also aren't we we're kind of a. different generation of gay people yeah. we are there's a there's another. generation of gay people who are they. don't they have sex with the members of. the opposite sex right so that's. different gay has gotten very it's a big. tent now you don't have to be gay to be. gay in fact it's a detriment. you can be. queer there's a there's a big tent and a.

lot of the people that are in it are are. married and heterosexual you are telling. me that in the car and i am very. confused by it on twitter today came out. as queer i mean you can get i don't. understand yeah i'm not judging it i. don't know what you're talking about. though. yeah i'm judging it a little but you. know what it is understand what you were. saying you said. he's married to a woman yeah he goes. i've started identifying his queer over. the last four months does that make me. the new queer but in all black i think. most men especially black men like me. who come out later in life because we.

don't really know it ourselves also i'm. attracted to a wide range of women but. not men at all so i didn't know how to. id myself even though i haven't felt. straight in years lol so i don't know. what that means. i have no idea i mean. i'm not hating on it i genuinely am. confused. to me i literally feel like i just heard. chinese right i have absolutely no idea. it might be a chinese bot but it's. you know i i i i that to me makes.

again. i'm i'd love to understand it. i would love that's the success of the. gay movement that straight people now. want to be in it. and then the big lol at the end is a. very upsetting. because it's yes what is that that's a. crazy person but it's a that. many people are ill we're living in a. what do you think the percentage of. mental illness now in the country is 30. 40. 98 and a half.

[Laughter]. now in certain ways i'm mentally ill but. i work on it and i'm medicated yeah. right. i mean i'm not judging like i ha i have. issues but i work on it. people are out of their minds i we were. at a comedy club i told you i was at a. comedy club last night it looked like. the game room in a mental institution. and i'm not even just talking about the. comics i'm talking about the audience. too the people that work there i'm like. am i at.

a mental institution people were like. rocking back and forth someone was. talking themselves someone was flicking. their fingers someone was rocking there. was a person. with a helmet i don't know what the [ __ ]. was going on someone was defecating it. was the cr i'm like this country is out. of everyone's crazy yeah. and i really. constantly feel like i'm on a sheet of. acid not even one little like i'm on a. sheet. of a heroic toast. yeah i've taken a a a cardboard like.

sheet of acid what do you think it is. you think it's the internet's driven. people crazy yes yes my mom says that. she's a huge therapist and she said the. internet has ruined people's life i mean. it's. ruined like she. said it's ruined people's lives. and it's only getting more and more. intense i mean it's insane i can. subscribe do you ever. do you ever go through tick tock and. just go through it like crazy it's it's.

out of control it's out of control like. you'll just see someone like hi everyone. i'm dorothy and i really and then you. just flick through and it's like. [Music]. and it's just one person after the neck. like mentally ill [ __ ] crazy people. it's nuts yeah. it's crazy. well there's a lot of neuro divergence. now. [Laughter]. it's true i mean there's a there's a lot. of people that are that are on the.

spectrum and they are. struggling with different things and it. only see there's more and more of that. and now that's becoming kind of a brand. in a weird way there's someone who. literally. is mentally [ __ ] or whatever you. want to call it right. and. they're. 700 pounds. okay. in like a tight t-shirt and boxers. with one sock on.

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fat movement now it's very interesting. the fat activism. i mean i. yeah i've been as people who've. struggled with our weight it's. interesting to see now it's gone the. other way where fat people are like. threatening people on social media. 330 pounds and no one should have been. promoting me. i. i was. disgusting.

and should have been shot i should have. been. hunted down and shot i was not i was. a. i should have gotten help someone should. have. someone should have gotten a net. and [ __ ]. put me in a cage and help me. but there's a movement now well i needed. movement i needed a lot of movement.

because i was dying yeah okay there's a. movement to celebrate. i should have not been celebrated i had. i had. rashes yes. i mean i was i was not okay. but. what has happened. you know what i mean like what has. happened where. it it's gone to a place. where. there is a celebration.

of. that type of behavior. well i think that no i don't think. fat people should be. victimized or treated like [ __ ] no but. no one thinks that. of course not but we've gone to in such. an extreme. place i have a lot of fat professionals. my agent is fat and they're very. distracted they're fat. my tour is booked. if you look at the way my tour is booked.

it's booked in towns with steakhouses so. that my agent can come i have a fat. assistant she's lovely. but she's distracted because they're. always thinking about eating i'm. surprised your tour isn't all at like. burger kings yeah no my tour is. literally routed around the openings of. steakhouses. and but. you know. it is a distracting thing like i'm. trying to lose weight it's hard. do they always have food in their mouths. when you're talking to them they're. chewing they're crunching lately.

they crunch things they have little. vittles that they have. they've got food everywhere like you. know it's distracting it's like again. it's a compulsion. i know you don't have to tell me i'm an. animal i [ __ ] my face with food i don't. even chew you know what it is i know so. to me the idea that that's become a. celebrated part of our society it's not. okay it's not okay. the mukbangs online.

you've seen them people just eat people. watching. i mean did you see nick avocado's video. where the woman was getting stabbed yeah. i sent that chair please bring that out. someone's getting stabbed there's a. woman in an apartment building getting. stabbed. and i don't know if you even know who. this guy is this guy. all he does is eat online and he. eats these crazy things and he's just. kind of killing himself. online. every day he's pretty popular and he's.

very pop people want to watch him kill. himself with food this is a deeply. disturbed society now i want you to. listen to this because this is literally. true. someone's getting stabbed to death in. the apartment next door and they notice. it and they keep eating watch this. okay they taste like this but. you know hello. screams grease here. play it again and i want you to listen.

for the screams you can hear him okay. you can literally hear the screams. okay they taste like this but. you know. i mean you hear somebody in the. background. so somebody's you know that he just made. me homophobic and i'm married to a woman. yeah yeah yeah like i want to suck dick. after watching that yeah yeah. it's so disturbing because there's. people. millions of them watching this type of. stuff it's it's there's something that.

the the internet's unlocked which is. really terrible. that's so disturbing watching him eat. like that yeah it's really bad. it's. yeah it's not good so he's really. popular he's very popular i've watched a. lot of his stuff he just eats for hours. he goes crazy now why do you watch it. you sick [ __ ] i i don't really know why. when you're really hungry and you want. fast food late at night if you just. watch him eat a bunch of tacos from. jack-in-the-box or something uh soothing.

about it there's something and it's also. kind of funny and morbid and is he just. talking while he's eating yeah he tells. he has a little anecdotes and he has his. boyfriend uh orlan i think olin or. orland. and they do cooking recipes too so. they'll cook ramen noodles with cheese. and eat those and show you recipes and. he'll go around target in a rascal. scooter and do little sk skits and stuff. and so this is where we are this is a. and they're famous they're famous yeah. yeah and i'm going to do six shows at. the [ __ ]. chuckle bunnies yeah.

yeah. well you know. but this is really disturbing stuff and. your mother is a therapist probably is. she probably has just some very. interesting uh you know thoughts and. ideas about. how it got this bad. i mean i think that we are voyeur like i. think people just want to watch this and. just get hooked in i mean we it's like. watching the war you know the news and. all that [ __ ] we get hooked in and it's. that addictive personality that's right.

we just get hooked in and we can't stop. watching yeah. yeah it's i mean it's it's it's crazy it. is crazy yeah it's unfortunate that. there are people who. [Music]. are. they're being enabled. and supported i know these really. horrible things and it's just gonna get. how is this getting better no it doesn't. you know i mean no no i i i mean i don't.

know no it seems not to be. i mean my kids i i this is very. disturbing it's very hard to raise kids. in this world right with social media. and the bullying and the stuff like that. yeah yeah. it's difficult i mean you can be on top. of it and kind of you know make sure. they don't watch certain things but it's. not it's not easy it's hard to to keep. them from everything. out there it is very. very.

they're gonna stumble upon things. yeah and then they they do post stuff. and they're in secret chats and they you. know for sure yeah. yeah no it's crazy it's. it's really wild now the challenge is. being apparent. and they watch the porn and all that. [ __ ] yeah. yeah i mean second base when i was. growing up was like touching a girl's. boobs now it's anal. right. yeah it's crazy. it is it's it's sped up to an unhealthy.

degree. it did yeah. i mean it's bad. out there but i mean. you know what what is the good i mean. really i don't know i felt like you were. about to say like i was trying to find. what is it. uber. i don't know. postmates. yeah i know that's good you get you can. press a button and get a burrito i don't. know but then there is the the dark web. pedophile. and everything else yeah.

that's a problem yeah it's a real. problem. it's hard to be funny stand up was on. stage the other night at the store and. he said something brilliant that. roseanne had said to him. it's very hard to be funny now when. there's no such thing as truth. you're living in an era where where. truth is really subjective. people don't seem to. be swayed anymore by any type of facts. they can create their own reality and.

especially with the internet you can. only see that deepening. and becoming more immersive. where everybody disappears into their. own world i mean this metaverse thing. people can make fun of it and they. should and i do. but it's common. it's like everything else do you know. about the metaverse no i don't know a. lot about it get up zuckerberg the. metaverse now everything they've done. with it has been pathetic and. everybody's laughed about it so far. because like anything else it's never. going to be a thing as ray kump our.

friend said it won't be a thing until. it's a thing right it's like anything. else but it really is this world where. you'll have an avatar. you'll literally pretend to to be. somebody and you'll primarily be in this. digital landscape. where you are. you know having a lot of your meaningful. relationships and interactions online. not in real life sense yeah. no it's coming here just take it take a. quick. look at it.

imagine. you put on your glasses or headset and. you're instantly in your home space. it has parts of your physical home. recreated virtually it has things that. are only possible virtually and it has. an incredibly inspiring view of whatever. you find most beautiful i mean this. guy's the devil hey are you coming yeah. just gotta find something to wear. he's disgusting. all right perfect.

we're floating in space who made this. place it's awesome right it's from a. crater i met in l.a. this place is amazing. baz is that you of course it's me you. know i had to be the robot man i thought. i was supposed to be the robot. whoa. i knew you were bluffing. hey wait so this is what they want.

jessica. this is what they want the future to be. i'm looking at your face. but this is the plans for the future. when is this happening they're trying to. make it happen asap. but watch so they can make a lot of. money it's all yeah so that they can. basically. you know. they're trying to curate your life. they're basically trying through.

algorithms and everything to feed you a. diet of what they want to feed you. you buy things in this world you consume. in this world yeah whether they're nfts. you but you use crypto whatever it is. yeah yeah and there's no touch this is. all i keep thinking there's no contact. there's no contact. there's no touch there's nothing. and you get into this world and you. purchase things in this world and you. buy real estate in this world you buy a. home in the metaverse you buy a home.

and people are doing it already. and. then you don't leave and then they just. sell you things while you're there. and there you go this is the new thing. where the you know this is. the uh the demo they just ran about. here's you here's the shopping now this. is walmart this is walmart now you're. good here you shop at walmart there goes. the tomato sauce in the thing. and then it's delivered to your house. you know i don't know via drone or. whatever but why would you want tomato. sauce at your fake house well. some of this well if you have guests.

do you want to make you're not going to. have pasta or something no you don't. realize how insane we are. why would you want a fake house. let's i mean let's start there. so let's start there. now i think this might be they're. demoing this is like you would order it. it would be shipped to your real house. and you would eat the tomato sauce right. right but don't i get what you don't kid. yourself fake tomato sauce for that i. mean heineken just did a thing you could. pull this up. where heineken sponsored some big.

metaverse thing it was a big bomb. because everybody's like hey man what. the [ __ ] is this but this is coming. they're trying to shove it down your. throat. and make it so heineken launched some. virtual metaverse saying it was a. complete failure. uh says needless to say we all love a. frosty cold one every now and then but. now heineken is setting its sights on. bringing that element into the metaverse. brood with i'm i'm not kidding none of. this is a joke brewed with pixels and. not yeast heineken silver is the world's.

first virtual. beer. so this is all coming and this is you. have the same reaction that rogan had. when i told him about this. your kids know more about this than you. do probably or will yeah this is all. coming and i'm a little bit of a. conspiracy guy. where i go they just really i mean. you'll have an avatar so if you're 400. pounds it's okay because your avatar. looks like whatever you want to. in the metaverse.

and it's. a little sick. but there's an inevitability to it and. they want you on this thing. so that you can be they sell you. stuff mean it makes complete sense it. makes complete sense in even though it's. the craziest thing ever. yeah i mean you know. and i can see it like i can see it. happening i can see it being incredibly. profitable for companies and i could see. and i could see the fun of it i me too i.

could see the fun of it too i go oh i i. can't afford a mansion but you know what. maybe i can in the metaverse right. you could live this whole playlist. yes forever and ever right. does it matter that the there's a. fentanyl uh a opioid epidemic yeah and. that there's violence in the streets and. that the environment is is being is uh. you know decaying and the planet is. decaying and there's political. corruption and there's no health care. and you can live a play life and so i.

think this is what they're preparing. instead of fixing the problems yeah. they're going how about we all just go. to the pool party in the metaverse. that's what's coming because the. problems are deep and and very tough to. imagine solutions to as we've just said. yeah so what we think you know what i. tend to believe they're going to say is. just go to the go to the metaverse. there's already been sexual assault in. the metaverse. oh yeah. oh yeah. oh yeah. there's already been.

all kinds of things sexual assault in. the metaverse. sexual harassment this is usa today. again usa today sexual harassment in the. metaverse. women alleges rape and virtual world. so so the world's ending i just want to. say that um. but it is we talked about that the whole. world is ending yeah so the world's. ending we talked about that in your. career and eddie pepiton has a great. line he goes you know every generation.

thinks it's ending but we're right no we. are right you said 50 years i think less. so i'm gonna try to enjoy myself as much. as i you have to yeah. you have to enjoy yourself yeah. yeah. within 60 seconds of joining shroud i. was verbally and sexually harassed three. to four male avatars with male voices. essentially but virtually gang raped my. avatar i mean. [Laughter].

well her clothes were too tight yeah she. was out late at night yeah it was her. fault she was being too promiscuous so. this is where we are. that seems to be where we're heading. it's clownish right now. and it's not real yet but it seems to be. potentially real oh this is gonna be. huge. there's no doubt in my mind i think so. too this is coming immediately yeah i. think so too. i don't even doubt that for a second.

this is this is coming out in the next. year yeah they're gonna yeah. it's coming. and i mean they're gonna encourage. people to just live. those fantasy lives oh this is for 20 30. and for this is going to be huge. that's right. and you're gonna have to pay for. everything oh yeah that's why nft is. these non-fungible tokens that you can. own digital property. and you can i don't even mean like a. house i mean like anything you could buy. an nft of a piece of art yeah or.

whatever and eventually it'll be comedy. you could buy a joke yeah eventually. comedians will sell a joke yeah i'm. telling it's gonna be. it's it's all heading to that place and. it seems to be. rapidly going there. we were you know one of the last. generations. this all i guess eventually has to do. with like you know. humans becoming ai eventually there's a. chip in your head that you can write. into the metaverse. it's scary. but it is you know.

i i think it'll be i hope the lineups at. the comedy clubs in the metaverse are. diverse. that's my biggest concern yeah that's my. biggest concern too yeah of anything. even like my kids is that the comedy. club lineups are diverse in the. metaverse yeah for sure yeah i mean. they'll be virtual comedy there already. are there's already virtual comedy clubs. you know darren covett yeah so that's. that seems to be the next step of.

society. just further into the hall. further into the pit i'm sorry to show. this to you i feel like i'm no showing. you something i'm actually fascinated by. it i don't get freaked out i don't get. freaked out by this stuff because i'm a. i'm a very realistic person so i don't. get like oh my god because i know this. is all coming it's coming like it does. nothing i went to basil in miami and i. spent 48 hours there and i felt again. like i had swallowed a sheet of acid. but everything that they talked about. was real they go listen everything your.

kids are gonna want like instead of a. pair of prada sunglasses. or you know jimmy choo shoes or a. porsche. everything for clout that they're gonna. want for. to show off it's gonna all be digital. they're gonna want to buy things for. their digital world. yeah. it doesn't freak me out because nothing. shocks me anymore ship station if you're. running an online business right now and. who isn't you need to use ship station. you don't need to worry about the back.

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learn russian it seems like a great time. because as soon as i learn it i'm going. to get over there and straighten it all. out babble language for life if you ever. you know it's interesting did you ever. perform. because you've been in new york comedy. for so long. you never performed for trump or. anything right no because they like hate. comedy. like those types of people but i always. wonder like because you've been such a. new york staple for a very long time. you've probably seen. a lot of like politicians kind of.

interesting people yeah no i've never um. i've never performed for like very big. politicians. right lower lower level but not huge. huge politicians no yeah. have you. ed mangano the nassau county executive. who was indicted for taking bribes uh. him and his wife were uh getting free. deli platters no i swear to god ed. mangano and his wife were. she was she was given a 300 000 job as a.

food tester at a deli so that's like. long island corruption yeah yeah no i. haven't. but. yeah i'm trying to think i mean there's. been like people in the audience but no. one. major yeah. yeah when you hate l.a. i don't i don't hate it i i'm okay with. it it's you know like for short periods. but if i were to ever live here i'd have. to have a job like i'd have to be on a. show or something i could never live. here and just like try to make it right. yeah it's tough.

where in the country do you perform. that's outside of the coast that you. really like is there a place where you. go i really like to be there. outside of the coast see to me i love. i love working people so i spend most of. my time in beverly hills and the. hamptons. because i like working here yeah i get. it i it doesn't but i like people that. have you know that that work so i like. beverly hills the hamptons palm beach. yeah but now outside of that. where.

where. where are places in the cup but i hate. performing for rich people i don't think. they should be allowed in comedy clubs. no i they're the worst crowds there are. they're entitled and they don't like. they don't have anything they're. horrific they don't relate no i love. performing for working people yeah they. love. because they need to come out exactly. they're dying to laugh yeah they're. dying right yeah yeah they don't even. have food but i yeah. i uh they have they have food that's the. only thing we give them yeah no i'm. joking i i love like small town you know.

places where they're they don't have a. lot of entertainment like you know they. have that comedy club and they go out. and they're dying to laugh and yeah yeah. totally um there's a bunch of places. around the country that i i love to. perform in yeah um. your live act is one because there's. people that comedy seller the biggest. comedians in the world hate following. you yeah because you are the one of the. biggest powerhouses on stage ben's like. have you ever had a follower i'm like. thank god no that's very sweet i'm like. no whenever we performed jessica was. always headlining we were performing in.

churches in queens for crackheads. and jessica was the head i was just. doing 10 minutes very excited i'll never. forget i saw you there and was blown. away. you're [ __ ] amazing well that's very. sweet of you i thought you were great. that night do you know how long ago that. was we're talking 10 years it was a long. time ago and i saw you and i'm like he. is. really funny i mean you were really. really funny when i saw it well i just. got into comedy hard and i destroyed. any chance of you know decent. relationships and everything i let.

everything go by the wayside for comedy. yeah you were great i thought right away. i thought he's a great comic and you've. always everyone has always said i'm. talking from years back yeah well. everyone thought you were great right. away this is a script we wrote for. jessica she's doing very well we went. off over all of this in the car yeah. you're reading yourself a teleprompter. in the studio right now yeah people. thought you were great they really loved. you from right away no they did everyone. has said that about you well you have a. very good reputation yeah yeah for sure.

i hope you do yeah you do i mean. you're brilliant i'm not just saying. that to be nice you really that's very. to be this. it's not just with comedy i mean you. have a brilliant mind and that's why. you're so successful it's with fitness. you're very smart yes you heard a lot of. things yeah you're great with dumbbells. yeah no i i'm good with fitness yeah and. with fighting with mma yeah you really. that's why me and joe rogan get along we. met at the gym oh i know yes he told me.

you trained him for like i trained joe. rogan and then but then he wasn't. serious about his nutrition so i had to. drop him he eats a lot of sugar. it's the never ending possibility olive. garden i know he's a [ __ ] pig that's. right well he's in a corset do you know. this this is true many people don't know. this. he's 400 pounds i know he's in a corset. so when he leaves the studio he actually. just really becomes out he becomes lizzo. it's very. liza was a new show can we can we get up.

the uh trailer which is funny that. people think he's a racist because he is. lizzo right it's crazy it's wild but. lizzo has a new show now called big. girls which again another thing watch. out for my agent. could not get me on and it's called. watch out for the big girls which again. sounds like a negative but this is being. billed as a positive thing okay. i didn't even know she had a new show. it's a new show watch out for the big. girls. [Music]. what's up y'all it's lizzo i'm looking.

for dancers to join me on my tour girls. that look like me don't get. representation time to pull up my. sleeves and find them myself. i should go on this because i can dance. i want to be on the show it's the battle. of the big girls. to be a background dancer for lizzo. would just mean everything. [Music]. it's show time. now here's my thing and i'm not trying. to be.

i'm not trying to even make a joke. what if one of these people has a heart. attack. you mean on the audition like on the. show. it's like what if. what if. one of the episodes someone has a heart. like does. this would it give anyone pause would. they go. she'll probably get a lot more votes. right yeah right and then she comes back. she'll get sympathy votes yeah she comes. back in and april plays a valve um. i i.

i think. [Laughter]. it's a fair i'm just a fair question. i mean i think that you know. someone could have a heart attack yeah. it's a very good possibility it's very. stressful someone could do a split and. [ __ ] everywhere because they ate so much. i mean. a lot of things could happen yeah. someone could have you know a stroke i. mean there's a there's so many. different things that could happen so my.

whole thing is just it's an interesting. and this episode it doesn't come out. next this week it'll come out next week. and this probably is already premiered. and i'm hoping that doesn't happen but. it is a possibility so many things could. happen it's a very real possibility yeah. on the show people could be vomiting. it's a physical we have no idea but it. could be a lot of crying yeah they're. you know. you could absolutely stuffing down. feelings there's so many well that's the. thing eating is a compulsion that's.

emotional i wonder if they eat while. they're dancing if they could eat just. put the food down. [Laughter]. [Music]. yeah but you wouldn't get disqualified. no because they you know you celebrate. being fat so they're all just shoving. cookies in their mouths while they're. twirling. it really is the end isn't it.

it's it's gone it's we're in it we're. not even starting we're in the end yeah. no it's just it's a severe. it's odd to me it's odd that we we. celebrate now everybody's and i mean now. we have you know drug addicts and. we all have sympathy for drug addicts we. have empathy we know what it's like but. now we have you know people that we have. open-air drug markets in cities where. people shoot heroin on the street yeah. that's gonna be the new reality show. that'll be the one or that'll be the. next thing people will go like i'm a.

proud heroin addict right i'm proud of. that right we should celebrate opioid. like i'm not addicted to opioids i. choose to use them right and it's my. lifestyle and if you have a problem with. that you're an issue right i'm going to. be an addict that chooses background. addicts yeah to to be around me yes yeah. yeah yeah that'll be the next hills. around me yeah that'll be the next show. i want a crew of people that love. fentanyl as much as i do.

it but it seems like that because we're. just celebrating compulsions yeah yeah. and addictions yeah because i see this. all as is. through the mindset of an addict i go. this is all addictive behavior the food. i know i struggle with it myself i just. pictured them going on tour and just all. these dancers just falling to the ground. and dying they're gonna die. they all just go cardiac arrest yeah. they're gonna die. i mean they're gonna die and it's sad. but it's like that like it's it's sad.

but we're making fun of it as people who. struggle it's like i'm i'm literally i. struggle too but i i don't go when i. make a bad food choice. i never want others to do it me either. i'm never like hey this is the way to. live no i don't want people clapping and. cheering me on i want them to get me. help i want them to help me it would be. very weird if i pulled into a mcdonald's. late night and there was people around. me cheering like i was finishing a.

marathon. like that yeah like handing me nuggets. like like like you hand someone a towel. or like water like they're handing me. ketchup packets no i want you to like. help me yeah it seems to just be. a pro and i don't know why it wouldn't. eventually be drugs. right like that's the next thing yeah. like and we already kind of see it where. they're like they just don't don't. persecute people. that are doing heroin in a tent.

and you go i'm not trying to persecute. anyone but it's not good for them. it's not good it's not good for tent. cities to be there. um it's not a positive thing well we. should really celebrate them right. because you know right at least well. yeah. well that's what people do. you know people do and they go you know. we and it's like so to me it's like that. may be the next reality show it's just. you know people in the tents yeah i. think it was we're we're we're maybe a. year away from the first homeless.

celebrity. like a homeless star. you know what i could see it yes. for sure a homeless reality show yes. where they're like a star. yeah and they're you know. and they're they're known i guarantee. there's gonna be one in la oh we'll be. ground zero and it'll be it'll be people. that are kind of like hey i i love this. because there are there is a whole thing.

now where they go well if we offer you a. bed. and you. and we offer you a home and you you. don't accept it. we can't allow you to stay. on the streets and then people go know. that you can't do that. you have to let people. camp on the street yeah you have to. listen not only that but you need to let. like give them lighting you need to give. them a kitchen yes yeah yeah den you. have to let that porch you have to yes. you have to let them be on the street if.

they so choose to stay on the street and. use drugs and they don't want to live in. the thing so we're getting to a point. now where why not. you know why not celebrate everything. yeah you know and it's a bit it's a bit. scary. because. i've made a lot of mistakes my i've. never celebrated like i've never been. like you know what's a good idea stay in. the closet till 25 do cocaine. drink. quit that and then eat a lot i've never. said that's the way to do it i've never.

said i'm a bad [ __ ]. that's why i did that i said i did that. because i was in a lot of pain it was. very hard and i didn't find something i. liked to do and then i finally found. something i like to do and i i. transitioned out of that behavior most. of that behavior. but yeah because you want to try to help. other people and you want to explain to. people that it's not a great decision. and you don't want it to be celebrated. you want to like be an example and try. to. you know yeah. i know yeah.

i again i don't feel like uh. fat people should be made fun of or. ridiculed or anything but but it's i. don't also feel like it should be. celebrated because it's not healthy it's. not healthy that's why i'm trying. something people would disagree with you. they go it actually is no it's not i. know. no it's not i. when i was that large had high blood. very high blood pressure i felt very. sick i my cholesterol was hot i was not.

well i was very sick i was not doing. well physically now i'm like. everything's good right. but my back was out my knee was killing. me. yeah so you're saying to be 500 pounds. is a detriment to your health because. that that is a controversial statement. in some corners of the internet. yeah but there are people there. there are people that go. you can be three four five hundred. pounds and it doesn't have any negative. health effects i know those people need. help. they really this is what i'm talking.

about those people really need and how. do you help them how do we help them you. can't you can't they need to be put down. when i say that i mean that and i'm. joking right they cannot be helped it. doesn't seem like a zombie movie yeah. there's no you can't convince people. there's a lot of people i now. that are going to believe what they want. to believe and they're stuck in that and. there's no way of convincing that you.

know that right you can't convince these. people they just go to the medivh. they're done that's it they just go to. the people are stuck in their beliefs. and you cannot to try and convince them. that that's their. no. it is healthy to be 500 pounds you're. wrong what am i going to try to convince. it's a waste of energy they're done. right they're gone right buy great right. yep blow up you're healthy do you think. you'll stay in long island forever no. yeah. but right now i'm on the road so much.

right and that's where danielle's family. is so it's like they what do you think. because i know my eventual and i don't. know when it is it might be years and. years down the line my eventual thing is. probably the west coast of florida. yeah i i will i always grew up in. florida i mean my gran both grandmothers. or the east coast i don't know but. florida i think florida i love florida i. love it i mean i'm there a lot i like we. have a place in delray. yeah so my family so i'm there i was. just there and i'm going back next week. i mean i just came from there the other. day.

um yeah i love florida i i uh but i will. i think we're all going to end up in. like a a home with guns and you know. just. like mining our business and protecting. our home and our families because this. world is i don't know what's happening. yeah what a positive note i know i. really think exactly i know i just. wanted everyone to feel safe and okay. yeah while we were ending this yeah well. you're gonna everyone's gonna spend. time and at home with their guns and. their family well look what's going on.

yeah but i don't mean now enjoy yourself. now everyone blow up [ __ ] your face. get as fat as you can and celebrate it. yeah yeah. it's crazy where are where can people. find your live dates because i'm not. kidding you have one of the best live. acts i've ever seen and it's well worth. it's well worth people to go see you. um. and support you because i'm in in terms. of live comedy there's really nobody. really doing it better thank you you can.

go to jessicakerson.com. yup. jessicakerson.com k-i-r-s-o-n i have a. tick tock that you would love cause i. post crowd work videos every day um and. a lot of you know a lot of people do. crowd work a lot of women don't so i. purposely do it a lot so i have a tick. tock jessica carson and i'm on instagram. jessie kersen but i'm on the road i'm on. tour for months coming up and i'm doing. a lot of different cities how do you do. it do you ever take a break not now. right i'm really on tour right now i'm.

not like you are jesus it's insane what. you're doing well i'm done in may right. but you're a [ __ ] warrior it's. amazing um but no i'm touring a lot. coming up and i have a lot in the fall. so i'm happy you know i'm i'm doing a. lot it's good yeah i mean the the live. shows are great. uh. you go to jessica's website she's got. her podcast up there patreon. you have everything uh up there easy. jessica kirsten.com jessiekay. on instagram and really go out to see a.

live show because th you're you know i. don't recommend a lot of comics live. um. but you really are like the gold. standard of a new york comedian like you. know which is the the highest honor. boston new york like. comedy is an east coast thing that's. just what it is you know i mean people. can. get angry about that and not like that. but that's absolutely the truth but. thank you so much for coming on we. rarely have guests i know and you like. just texted me and said come on and you.

know yeah i can't tell you how much i. appreciate that it's like. you know you've done that and joe and. you know bill burr like people who've. really reached out to help me and i. can't it just means a lot yeah jessica. kierson right there on instagram. uh. yeah it means a lot because i respect. you so much and you've done something. that. is just incredible and uh. and you know. that you texted me and said you should.

be selling out stadiums you should and. everybody believes that and you will be. it's just it's just people. figuring it out you know and just. basically. you know. coming around you know yeah and uh but. but i mean i watch you tonight at the. lab factory and again it's like. i mean ben is such a massive fan of you. and uh. every time you're in town we go watch. you you know yeah we go watch you and. then. you know we're like thank god i'm like.

thank god i don't have to follow jessica. i could just go yell in a room. well you kill two i do good thank god i. mean people don't want to follow you. either i mean we have strong acts we. [ __ ] command a room and that's you. know people don't want to follow you. either. the concern for me has always been. when people see me on stage. they go. i've always felt i think the struggle. that i have is being being. too hot to get laughs.

that is word on the street where people. see me and they go he doesn't need it i. know you know what i mean he doesn't he. doesn't need this the problem is when. you're that attractive people are. looking at you and want to [ __ ] you. my dermatologist called me today just to. check up so that's where i'm at. i had a dermatologist call me from. orange county to just check up on me he. goes i've seen your instagram you have. something going on on your face oh my. god that's not good no i swear to god.

it's a dermatologist orange county goes. something's going on on your face. we should biopsy it i go oh that's nice. i said i'm on the road can we do it. later he goes yeah but i'll call in a. prescription so we called it a. prescription of ralph's in the ghetto. and i went and got a prescription and i. put it on my face tonight i don't know. what it is. it's it's. probably. yeah so i mean that that's that's where. i'm at. yeah i know he closed prescriptions in i. think he wants me to take care of you.

he wants me to get killed because he's. always trying to save me money you can. go to get your skin medication you get. shot in the head yeah no he's always. trying to like save me money. so he like calls in scripts to like. these like horrible places. okay. follow jessica goes to your live. everybody we're on tour too who gives a. [ __ ] we got one month left and it's over. go away thank you.