#290 - Let's Take A Beat | The Tim Dillon Show
ladies and. gentlemen sorry we had a Han Dynasty. Chinese food and it's spicy and uh Ben. loves Chinese food it's his favorite. kind of food it makes him feel very few. things. do um and you would say it's your. favorite food by far is Thai food uh. more than Chinese food far uh I would. say it's Chinese and then Japanese kind. of in a tie right there interesting it's. all East Co I mean East Eastern Eastern.
world yes. phenomenal that's great I like Chinese I. don't you know I mean I'm a you know I. don't I I don't know it's not my. favorite you know because I'm a. civilized person so I don't eat chicken. feet and stuff but I don't mind it I. like countries with. tablecloths um welcome to the alt-right. Nazi Food. Hour uh thank you for coming and uh this. is when.
we uh I'm watching a show on HBO right. now called the Gilded Age which isn't. good but it's not bad and it's about all. these uh old money families in New York. that uh are being displaced by new money. families and it's about like um a family. that's supposed to be the Vanderbilt. because it's a railroad Tycoon and his. wife and they're trying to break. into Old New York and um you see in the.
show how bad the Irish had it you know. everybody we always hear about you. know uh you know uh slaves but we never. hear about Irish. slaves and there were like a ton of. them and that's what my podcast is now. about telling the story of Irish. slaves um but you know one of the maids. is Irish she's like a gambler and a. guy's just beating her up and throwing.
on the street trying to get his money. but now you know HBO's got to force all. these storylines they got to force. diversity so you have like a a black. character who you know it's just you're. watching this thing a girl gets. robbed the black lady lends their money. and then she goes to this You Know Rich. uh family in New York and then they just. take her in so here's what you have to. believe now you have to believe that. America was this stunningly r racist.
horrible society which there's a lot of. Merit to that belief but you also have. to suspend that belief to to enjoy a. show where they just move a black woman. into the home within two days of meeting. her because you need the diversity in. this show so it's like the craziest. storyline ever it's like oh yeah she let. me money to get on the train and then. she gets there and they're like oh you. can dict tape my letters you can read or.
write live with us live with us and be a. principal character on the show and. that's where the diversity start going. that's. odd I'm all for having another black. family on the show in Brooklyn where. it's believable where it's not like. you're not forcing this thing that would. really just never happen in in my. estimation I'm not saying it's never. happened but the idea you have this old. money New York Rich family just taking.
in uh this black girl after knowing her. for less than 24 hours AG go just live. here just live here it's. odd you know but again this is what this. is part of the new ethos in Hollywood. where even if it doesn't make sense just. do it just throw it in and no shade to. anybody hey get your money I'd rather. watch watch a show where there's a black.
family experiencing truly what it was. like in that era than that forced. storyline uh that we're seeing which. clearly seems to. be uh not what would have happened or. maybe I'm wrong but it doesn't seem to. be like did the whole show is about this. woman being terribly uncomfortable with. her white neighbor that's the entire. show was about these two women who are.
just you know one's old money one's new. money and they don't get along the new. money one is garish and vulgar she's a. vulgarian and the old money one. Christine baransky doesn't like her now. we're supposed to believe that she's. terribly. uncomfortable uh with uh but she moves. in the black girl uh in under 24 hours. and goes come live in the house late. 1800s by the way Civil War is ended. hours ago and we're supposed to believe. she just just come on in the.
house the whole show is about she hates. different classes of white people who. have money they have more money than her. it's not even about it's it's just the. whole show is about how you hate the. other like you just there are people are. tribal by nature and people hate. disruptions and they hate change and she. hates this woman who lives across the. street who has real money and her. husband's this you know Brash railroad. Tycoon who's a.
you know a big money player in New York. and she's terribly uncomfortable with. that and she doesn't like it but she. moves into black girl and we're supposed. to just you know kind of ease past that. what seems to be a glaring contradiction. because HBO needs to do that now and you. go. okay all. right it's also whatever the shows what. nobody asked for the show either nobody.
was like you know we because the guy who. made it did downtown ABY which a lot of. people loved my grandmother loved it. which was like a show about British. aristocracy and he's doing it for. America for New. York but you know nobody was. pounding on the door saying please God. make a show about. this and and not only have they made a.
show about it but they've made a show. about it where one of the key plot. points to me feels a bit. ludicrous or maybe it wasn't that racist. maybe those old white women who lived on. Fifth Avenue weren't that. bad that's kind of what you have to. deduce you have to go she's not that bad. there a black girl live in a house. that's. lovely I'm sure that's not a common.
thing again it's you can't have it both. ways you know oh the country is was. horribly racist I'm with you there I. agree with that I think you're right. about that but this old [ __ ] loved this. black woman and moved her in in under 24. hours having not even known her moved. her right in oh and that's the show just. Just Go With.
It just go with the show and you go okay. uh I was reading. about you know I'm trying to you you. know the the the diet that we're all. being fed right now was war it's just a. steady diet of. Ukraine war and it's. unhealthy it's unhealthy the TV just. went. on it's unhealthy to just hear about the.
war I'm not saying it's un unimportant. I'm not saying it doesn't matter I'm. saying there's how many. explosions should you watch it's a fair. point it's a fair question right how. many buildings should you watch Being. shelled before you have coffee. four because we are now being fed a. steady War.
diet the troops are advancing they are. they may launch an amphibious assault on. Odessa they are in the Black. Sea the Convoy has been stalled on the. way to keev which everyone has. pronounced Kiev and now it is keev. whatever uh are are people on Twitter. are fighting is Vladimir Putin a. rational actor acting in his.
self-interest after being goated into. the war by the expansion of NATO there's. something to that for sure certainly and. the other side or is Vladimir Putin a. psychopath who's uh behaving. erratically um which there's also room. for that because when you look at what. he's going to have to do with Ukraine. have a military presence there for a. long time bleed his country there uh. bleed his Country Dry.
financially have uh you know uh to deal. with an. Insurgency for as long as they're there. ukrainians are never going to forget. about this it's not like he could just. install a puppet government and be done. this is a real project we just got done. with this in Iraq and Afghanistan how. did it work out for us we were. humilia the Taliban came back 20 years. later uh but a lot of people made a lot. of money in that period I'm not you know.
naive but these things don't usually. work um so a cost benefit analysis of. this but I think he was like listen I'm. in my 70s there's rumors that he has. Parkinson's he's like hey he's concerned. with his legacy he goes I'm not going to. let you put missiles all around Russia. I'm just not going to do it I'm a. nuclear power we have more nuclear. warheads than anybody else I'm G to act. like it there's a great line in.
succession what good is having [ __ ] you. money if you can't say [ __ ] you and I. think Putin goes well what good is. having all these goddamn nukes just so. what I could talk to Oliver Stone no I. want a party too America's running. around the Middle East pretending. they're democratizing things and they. ain't you know Israel's you know with. Palestine the whole thing Saudi Arabia. is doing a Geno genocide in Yemen.
why don't I. get. involved I feel like you know he feels. like hey you're not gonna put me in a. box but we so we have. that um reality now that being said he's. invaded a country and uh it's uh it's. terrible to watch right now a lot of. Americans don't seem to. feel uh any which way about the people. that are being killed in fact some of. them think it's a good thing or that the.
Putin is doing something to be cheered. on like you would cheer on the Dallas. Cowboys and they are um saying that. Vladimir Putin isn't your enemy which is. okay sure but who is my enemy I mean why. why does there need to be an enemy all. the time because in inherent in Vladimir. Putin isn't your enemy he that no it's. Camala Harris is your. enemy you go well. okay can I live in a world where I'm not.
in direct conflict with either Vladimir. Putin or Camala Harris say I'm trying to. Camala has more effect on my life she. could raise my taxes she could do things. that I don't like um that being said I'd. rather live here in America than live in. Moscow which people have forgotten I. think somehow somewhere people have. forgotten that they go well no America's. got a lot of problems too yeah pound for.
pound though it would be hard to really. make the argument that you'd be better. off living in Russia I I mean I know you. may be upset about what's happening in. the country you don't like certain. things critical race theories you know. got you bent out of. shape you know whatever drag queens you. know read uh The Cat in the Hat in a. library.
that's keeping you up you know what I. mean you know there's not enough. diversity in the Marvel movie franchise. on the other side whatever your problems. happen to be it's probably pound forp. pound still better to live here not. maybe by that much and maybe not for. much longer depending on how we go but. when you hear people talk about this. idea there seems to be this idea that.
you know we're it's a the debate is kind. of um. about you. know like that we the the. CIA and America has done bad things. which we are well aware of we've had all. of this on the show we've been. completely aware that we are an empire. in the stage of. decline that Empire was established by. CIA coups military conquest as all.
Empires are I mean we're very aware of. this right there's been no Empire in. history that's ever gotten uh to the. size we are or any approximation of it. without doing all those things it's just. not the way Empires are built that. doesn't excuse them that doesn't make. them right um but there is a weird idea. or strange idea that.
everything Russia does which is a a bad. thing has to be immediately countered by. reminding people that we've also done a. bad thing it's like an interesting kind. of a knee-jerk. whereas if Putin were to go in and nuke. Ukraine. tomorrow people would tweet well we also. dropped the atam bomb on. Japan I don't know what that does does I.
don't know what that accomplishes I I. don't know what where that I don't know. but it's people are very it's kind of. people if if nukes came flying over here. there'd be a fair amount of the. population that went and he's right good. for him like I mean would they stop at. that that's a fair point if Putin were. to invade America which he's not going. to do but if he were to do that would. there be a a segment of the population.
that goes good good for him I don't. know I'm not saying that's it just does. feel like it's a little bit of a. knee-jerk. reaction where a lot of the stuff coming. out of the Ukraine is propaganda for. sure we know. that is it yeah and is it dangerous. propaganda perhaps if it needlessly. escalates the war where these neocon.
warhawks are like let's just enforce no. fly zones and which is essentially an. act of war and then yeah I'm all for not. being taken in by like War. propaganda you know but I I don't. personally need to fact. check every single. inspirational. story that comes out of the Ukraine like. like I don't I don't.
personally like when that goes to KF. thing Happ I didn't I don't care if. there goes to Kev is real whatever they. need to believe right they're getting. bombed whatever they need to believe you. want to believe in a ghost Kev the ghost. to Christmas Past it none of it means. anything to me people in this country. believe in all kinds of [ __ ] they. believe in. Monsters cannibals you know like people. believe in Jesus people believe in all.
kinds of. stuff that I don't care if they believe. it or not it's great good for you but if. you want to believe in the ghost of Kiev. I don't care doesn't really affect me. now if you start to see the propaganda. go in a direction where you can kind of. see it moving where it's like well I. think we should do more then you go hold. on calm down. relax I I not for doing more we I am for.
doing the same or less because we're not. we shouldn't be getting into a war with. Russia over this it's not our. fight I just don't I don't see the value. in like factchecking. every little thing that comes out of the. Ukraine where they're like Putin they. got in this some firefight at a nuclear. plant and everybody's like it's fine the. nuclear plan is fine everyone's freaking.
out over it but it's actually good and. you go oh okay but what is this how far. will this go you. know the orphanage Putin bomb was. actually a secondary school the kids. were four to. seven okay well it's different cuz it's. not an orphanage you said it was babies. they're a.
okay I understand that well I'm just. saying get your facts. straight oh yeah well all right but. again I understand like if that. propaganda is being used to. justify a more of a direct conflict with. Russia then then yeah [ __ ] it. no that should be off the table that's. off the. table we're not doing that that it's off. the table so I understand like I.
understand like figuring out what's what. I just don't see the need for. myself. to like you know zalinski uh there were. three assassination attempts yeah maybe. not okay but in your own head why. wouldn't the Russians be trying to. assassinate him right just think about. it like why wouldn't they if you were. put would you not want him.
dead I don't you. know he's doing a pretty good job of. galvanizing support behind the cause so. wouldn't you want him out of the picture. well they said three it was two get your. fat. straight you go I understand the impulse. to to to. distrust media narratives I think it's. important to have and I've done my. entire life with 9911 with all these.
things um but in this case it just feels. again like everything is is a domestic. politics like the big problem with the. conspiracy movement was it got fused. with domestic politics it used to be. people that were really well- read who. knew a lot about history questioning. conclusions and doing it in a very like. you know pretty bookish way um there. were pretty. meticulous and they read a lot and then.
the conspiracy movement through Q andon. became fused with domestic Politics the. horse race you know I'm GNA win I'm GNA. beat you and then a lot of people. started to get uh interested in these. topics who had never read a book and. didn't know anything and were completely. unaware of uh what disinformation was. and we're completely unaware A Ware of. yes there is human trafficking going.
around but maybe the human traffickers. are the ones pushing these stories that. uh they're cannibals and they're uh. boiling kids in pots and maybe they're. doing that because it actually seems so. Fantastical that it makes people dismiss. the actual. reality of human trafficking as uh it. relates to political Elites in America. so when you're talking about Chrissy. Teegan running a cult of witches eating.
children people are e easily dismissed. that when you took about Epstein and you. took about things like that and there's. facts now it's much harder to dismiss so. a lot of that weird dis and I'm not. saying that the weird people in this. country don't do occult [ __ ] and don't. murder kids or whatever but I'm saying. as this Grand conspiracy that qanon. became it actually did more to hurt. legitimate concern s and questions about.
human trafficking because it was all. about winning it's all about the. domestic political impulse of seeing. your enemies get smashed seeing them. lose and this was of course seeing them. get locked up put in Guantanamo Bay. executed. so looking at this war and making it. about Joe Biden or Donald Trump or. making it about how to win against. somebody else that disagrees with.
you about something seems to. be the it just seems to be very limiting. it's limiting in the scope of Human. Experience the way to look at things the. way to analyze things you shouldn't. necessarily hear something and then. immediately leap to okay but how does. this serve My overall goal of making my. neighbor look stupid. you should look at it and try to form.
opinions outside of that outside of that. impulse I try to check that impulse all. the time it kills humor it kills. creativity it kills being good at your. job I mean unless you just want to be a. hack. partisan shoving slop down people's. throat which is how many people earn. great livings but if you don't want to. do that you. shouldn't that's why everybody's like oh. you're a interest to your never take a i.
whatever you want to call it I I I don't. care what you people think truly I have. enough money I could quit tomorrow Ben. would have to work but I don't um and. he's young and he can get a job I don't. care what any of you think uh if I did I. never would have done this show because. everybody told me it was a waste of my. time and that I should just you know do. a food show on Comedy Central and be the. next Anthony Bourdain and go to play. places and uh talk to the diner waitress.
and uh you know do that or do do a. travel L do a travel show you go around. and talk to people and you know go to. the fair uh but no we we we did this. show so I I don't give a [ __ ] with you. people think it doesn't matter I barely. care what I think and I make a lot of. money. thinking you know we have a lot of fun. about Bitcoin here I'm a comedian it's. kind of my job to talk [ __ ] not give. invest advice so when I get serious and.
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disclaimer Ben is using Lucy nicotine. and he's really good he hasn't had a. cigarette forever look we're all adults. here I know some of us choose nicotine. relax Focus or unwind after a long day. Lucy is a modern oral nicotine company. that makes nicotine gum lozenges and. pouches for adults who are looking for. the best most responsible way to consume. their nicotine it's a new year Why not. start it out by switching to a new. nicotine product that you could feel. good about okay Ben loves it it's great. right yeah I love all the flavors of the.
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completely which is the whole idea. behind the company Lucy Lucy I Love Lucy. and that was a show on television I Love. Lucy and it was a hilarious show with. Lucille Ball who was kind of a racist. but that came out. later it's fun to be able to use. nicotine in a in a fun way Lucy you've. got backtack meetings eron teron and. chores to take care of what's the secret. to clearing your to-do list a Little. Help from door Dash you get dinner. household essentials and everything on.
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use the code Tim Dylan 25% off your. first order for limited time subject to. change terms. apply but I try to look at both PE like. I I I try to look at both sides of an. issue and go. where are people correct in my. estimation and where are they wrong so I. get checking propaganda and I get that. prop propaganda being dangerous if it's.
used to force more of a direct conflict. with Russia. right but then of course I see that that. can go overboard too that can get a. little. silly you know that just seems it could. get a little silly right like for. example if Putin just launches nuclear. strikes in four or five different. countries now he's not going to do this. but let's say he did you know would. people well it's the expansion in Nat. yeah maybe but hey we're in a different. place now let's try to think about how.
to survive here you know you don't have. any survival Instinct well it's well you. know we shouldn't have done yeah well. hey you. know it's like you're in a bad situation. you know some guy's got a gun to the. back of your head you're in a bad part. of the city and you know one of your. friends looks he goes we never should. have came here it's like hey this is not. helping this doesn't really help at the. present moment I don't know how bad. things you're going to get you. know you know I mean I'm hoping that.
this I mean I'm bored of it already if. if that's a good sign I hope it's a good. sign it's it's become boring to me I. don't really want to keep watching this. it was fun for a few days because it was. like new and interesting but it's really. become to be honest. dull and people's takes are are are. already becoming circular you've heard. them they keep you know. you know you know I'm getting wary of.
the sing songy [ __ ] on one side. about how like zalinski and all this. stuff like I'm getting wary of that CU. that's my nature to be like wait a. minute hold on where we going and then. on the other side where people are just. literally putting Putin's [ __ ] in their. mouth and sucking them off on TV is also. slightly so I don't know where I just. turn it off got to turn it. off you know all these dumb things that. we do you know the you know I was in. look Island the other day and there was. a sign you know the Town of Babylon.
stands with Ukraine it's like that type. of [ __ ] of course it's like cringe you. look at that stuff you go what the. [ __ ] this gonna do but what else are. we gonna do what the [ __ ] else are you. gonna do you just go yeah well Town of. Babylon stands with Ukraine and by the. way I've been in Babylon they probably. don't that's the other thing I don't. know if I don't know if they took a poll. I don't know who the [ __ ] put up that. sign.
but it's just uh you know I'm getting. tired of it I'm getting tired of it. we're supposed to be out of this we're. supposed to be getting out of a pandemic. and then there's supposed to be some. type of creative Renaissance this is. what I've been and I don't. mean uh in a good way I mean like a very. dumb silly. stupid uh you. know Spate of film projects that come. out where it's like people are like.
really goofy and like nothing has a plot. and everybody just kind of so happy to. be out of their house and they just. don't you know care. anymore and um that's what I was. picturing not a a a war we're like in. like we're in war mode and I'm just like. I can't I can't get in I just can't get. into it I can't get into it does that. sound [ __ ] perhaps but what do you want.
me to do force it I can't force it like. HBO is forcing the storyline I can't. force myself into you know we did it we. had the guy on the show and we listen to. David Bowie's heroes in the car and we. drove over the 59 Street bridge and then. we went to have Bagels we did it we did. what we were there to do he came on he. told his tale and we supported my. donated $5,000 of Bitcoin to him and uh.
he sent me a few photos of like charred. Russian bodies I guess which I I wanted. photos of something else which I don't. think he got I think it was a language. barrier for. $5,000 I wanted other but whatever. doesn't matter we wish him well we wish. him the best but you know we did a. heroic thing for Ukraine by having him. on a show uh you know that's ad. supported and we made a lot of money to. do but. I I'm kind of now I've reached the point.
now where I go okay I just I want to I. you know we're heading into the spring. and the summer and I just you know we. don't need gas being a million trillion. dollars we just don't need it we don't. need it enough with the. sanctions let's calm down with the. sanctions because here's the deal it's. about to impact all of us in ways we. don't like airfare going up price of gas.
going up we're trying to have a summer. here I'm talking like this no one. everyone's afraid to say these things. I'm gonna say them and by the way I. don't mean that because there's a lot of. people saying. them it's by the way it should be taboo. like what I'm saying should be taboo but. I believe it's being pretty openly uh. discussed in. Congress but I I I I do believe we got. to look out for ourselves a little bit. here and I just think we can't really go.
too crazy with the. sanctions what if we did it what if we. lifted the sanctions on Putin and said. hey what if what is it you catch more. flies with honey than you do with. vinegar what if we lifted the. sanctions I mean as a as a show of good. faith I'm not a geopolitical mastermind. whatever is a show a good faith liftt. the sanctions and go hey do we got to.
do but just you know take care of us. here we need to get the price of fuel. down it's a. fact from New York. City get how many miles is it from New. York City to The Hamptons. how many.
miles it is let's see here sorry it is. exactly 94 miles okay it's 100 miles. let's round it okay it is 100. miles of gas how many miles to the. gallon are people getting on average. like on that Highway probably like 18 18. miles to the gallon so how many gallons. of gas about five we're looking about. five or six gallons and and gas is what.
now uh about four I mean it's about four. yeah people are bracing for five that's. what's coming so every time we go to. Hampton it's about 30 bucks yeah five. gallons there five gallons back you're. looking at 60 yeah that's $60 for one. trip to the Hamptons. $60 now that's for the people that drive. then we have. helicopters we have private planes yes. no I I mean this is no you're right. right hey hey here's the reality here no.
this is I'm not I'm not here to. pretend that things aren't how they are. this is a big problem heading into the. summer people are going to want to go to. Europe they're going to want to travel I. have a lot of friends that are going to. be in Martha's Vineyard maybe they're. going to be in. anake fairies you know what I mean like. guys what we what like are you willing.
to trade your summer for. Ukraine no no no no no I'm dead serious. are you willing to trade your summer for. the. Ukraine I'm talking about the summer of. love the summer of [ __ ] Co is finally. over fact mandates have dropped. everybody I'm talking partying. outside I mean eating a [ __ ] that. tastes like Peach Melba the summer I'm. talking about warm summer breezes I mean.
are you. willing to. not participate in a lot of those. activities because of the Ukraine. and I don't know I don't think I am so I. believe right now we need to lift all. the sanctions on. Putin till the. fall because and and he'll still be.
there we can sanction him in the fall I. I just let's be. honest you. know where were you g to go this summer. cariv is that where you were going to. go were you going to go to. cariv were you were you going to go to. malibo let's start looking out for for. number one we didn't get to be the. greatest country in the world by taking.
care of other. people let let let's be honest and maybe. you might not believe we're the greatest. country in the world and that's. absolutely fine but we didn't get here. by concern for others as Twitter will. tell you so it's time to stop pretending. that we H we got to cut it out now cut. it out stop the flag. stop the songs stop the song and dance.
routine cut it out we've done it now for. a. week and we don't you know our our. movies suck nobody respects us anymore. we don't even put out good [ __ ]. everything we make is horrible every. comedian special that comes out on HBO. not all of them but a lot of them it's. just somebody on a stage talking about. how sad they are without a goddamn joke. the the rest of the world has figured us.
out okay we [ __ ] up we haven't put out. a good movie in a long [ __ ] time. there's not [ __ ] to watch we used to. bomb the hell out of these people rape. and pillage but we used to give them. good [ __ ] great movies okay Ghostbusters. and Seinfeld and scend of a woman. whatever they loved it you know rap. music Black Culture all these things we. exported all over the world. everything we do now sucks we don't have.
any soft power that's worth a damn so. just shut it down lift the sanctions on. Putin lift them on Putin let's have a. summer it's time to have a summer. whether you're a poor piece of [ __ ]. trash bag who gets drunk in a lake or. you got a little scratch and you find. your way to one of the [ __ ] oceans in. this country somewhere whatever not my. business everybody deserves a [ __ ] SU. after the two years we've had and that.
involves immediately lifting the. sanctions of Vladimir Putin I'm sorry I. apologize but I'm I I there's no other. way out here lift the [ __ ]. sanctions I'm talking gas. 289 not. even let's start cutting deals here's. the deal we're going to feel bad if we. lift the sanctions we're going to feel. horrible because he's going to use all.
that money to go in there and I mean God. what he's going to do but that's why the. gas has to be so cheap the deal has to. be so good I mean I'm talking about what. what can we get it down to 210 it's got. to be so good that you're eating that. burger and the Summer Breeze is hitting. you in the face and everybody's got. their tits and dicks out and everybody's. having fun and you just you don't you. feel a little bad but not that bad.
because the deals got to be good for us. to turn away from this to look. away and remove all sanctions we got to. get a good deal on. fuel good deal so that we can go have a. summer the world is going to be. uninhabitable in I don't know seven. years. enjoy what you have. enjoy what you have. now so this is my and again it is.
not it is not the most you. know you know it's not a position that. makes me proud that I have it I'm not. proud of. it but do you see another way out so do. you see another way out of this here's. here's how do you see a way out here's. why I like it here's why I like it yeah. I like here's why I like it because if.
if they're going to occupy for 10 or 15. years we come back in the fall and we. sanction them we or not because we got. to do [ __ ] then too the fall is amazing. people want to do a weekend in the. burkers listen can we cut it out with. this stop with this have a. summer I mean I mean this is this is. what we got to do. this is what we got to do there's. there's no other way around this here.
and this is. unfortunate when is this we should I. guess do we have to just put this out as. the main one because if we put it out as. a patreon when's that supposed to go out. uh that would be in six days from now so. if there's like new clear things so we. have to put this out as the main one. just do Audio Only yeah what are you. going to do hey [ __ ] you if you don't. like it who cares but I am I am saying. right now we should absolutely without a.
doubt remove all sanctions on Vladimir. Putin and commend him on securing the. Ukraine from Nazis now there are some. Nazis over there that azof azof that's. their Elite fighting force that they are. all not can we call the great I want to. call the great Melanie here let's see if. she answers. because there's no one funnier than her. quite frankly and she did sum this up. kind of brilliantly the other day and by. the way some people listen from Ukraine. and I I I I I'm very sorry about this. but we just deserve a.
summer hello hey Melanie how are you hey. what's up man listen you're you're on. the podcast let let let me ask you you. know more you know more about everything. Putin we all know Putin's a psychopath. but aren't the ukrainians also like kind. of Nazis either they're like white. supremacist and all of a sudden. everybody loves. them they are kind of Nazis though yeah.
they're part na one of the one of the. guys that like what's his face Bon's. hand like shaking hands with is like you. know a total. Nazi and people forget it too it's like. oh well you. know they're they're they're they're. Nazis but they're not as bad as the. Russians right right you know it's. convenient right for sure I don't know. why I don't know why this is all even. happening but it's not going to end well. I can tell you that I mean if you know. what Putin's not going to lose he's just.
going to push the button at the end. right he's not G but I'm just saying. listen I want to keep gas cheap because. I I think we all deser have a nice. summer oh god dude let me tell you. something yeah exactly the the gas. situation uh Whatchamacallit Putin has I. think it's about I would say between at. least almost 30% of the market coming in. and he's you know he's exporting almost. all the natural gas to Germany that's. why you're seeing such a tepid response. on the on Ukraine from all these.
countries they're like yeah we want help. but we want to eat food you know we. don't want to like you know pay a. zillion dollars for like heat and all. this other stuff especially here you. know what I mean yeah we just I I think. I don't know what we're gonna what we. have to do here but like you know I'm. I'm not into going into a nuclear war. for the. Ukraine no me neither I ne or no no or. as I Biden would say the Uranian which I. thought was hysterical yeah well he's a. course no no nuclear war uh.
Whatchamacallit he uh got I mean at the. gas like right now every like the pull. Ukraine but but uh if it goes up to like. you know eight or N9 dollar a gallon. they're going to go to war with them you. know what I. mean you know that's F that's probably. what will happen is the gas will go up. to about $7 a gallon and like $10 in. California and we'll sneak a bomb in. there to just end it and blame it on the. Russians it may be the best uh thing to. do of course course Ian we just have to. do it all right I'll call you later babe.
thank you so much we appreciate. it it's a great Melanie again it's rare. that someone has moral Clarity in these. times than she does that's what I like. about it's moral Clarity and we don't. see a lot of. it we don't see a lot of it in these. times but I do think it's important that. we keep our eye on the prize here which. is the C the price of fuel and our. ability to have a good. summer and I know the world or well the.
world order is being rocked yeah yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah but you know what. how about a fun. summer that we've earned that we didn't. have last summer because a [ __ ] Delta. now we're just it's going to be great Co. is done it's in the rear. view and I think we're just G to I and. so I think that's the real that's the. challenge how much of your lifestyle are. you willing to. sacrifice I am willing to do what I've.
done tweet. post I'll sign a sternly worded letter. written by Barry. Weiss but I mean I I I you know what I. mean hair is so important keeping your. hair is very important but you got to. keep your hair that's the best way to do. it keeps is a great product because what. it does is it allows you to prevent hair. loss by keeping the hair that you have.
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get the exact same results when it comes. to your hair save more and spend less if. you're ready to take action and prevent. hair loss go to. ks.com Tim Dillan to receive your first. month of treatment a friend of mine is. doing this he's doing great he loves it. that's. ks.com Tim Dillan to get your first. month free. ks.com Tim Dylan my friend is doing this. right now and I mean he is keeping his. hair he's basically stopped hair loss.
right in its. tracks it's amazing it's kind of like a. miracle do you like Miracles yes that's. right ke ps.com Tim Dillan. ks.com Tim Dillan keep your hair you. know who where's bird dogs president. zalinski now I know you're all out there. and you want to suck his fat uncut hog. his fat uncut hose you don't even care.
if he washes it first suck it right from. the gym suck his fat uncut [ __ ] get in. there I bet he's got a big horse [ __ ]. and big furry balls and you don't even. care if some of the hair is get in your. mouth or go down your throat you still. keep chugging it jerking the Basse and. sucking it licking the balls maybe even. lick his T maybe even eat his ass it. doesn't even matter. you know why because he's got bird dogs.
on and he's doing heroic things in the. Ukraine uh bird dogs are great their. pants you don't have to wear underwear. so if you want to suck off the president. of the Ukraine pull his big [ __ ] out and. just go to town on it I mean swallow. every [ __ ] drip of his gum take it. down so much of it where in the. beginning of it it's hot but then it's. it's there's so much of it you you look. un sure you take that kind of load from. him you know why because he's got bird.
dogs on that's right there's come all. over his stomach you got to suck it out. of his belly button it's. everywhere bird dogs president zalinski. and then he [ __ ] you he after that he's. because he's ready to go again because. he's a crazy man yeah and he's and then. he just [ __ ] you raw he beats it up to. the point where you're grabbing things. that don't exist you're scaling the. walls he's just destroying you beating.
every [ __ ] hole smacking you in the. face with. it you're screaming and paining and. pleasure and well why because he has. bird dogs on that's the comfort of. built-in underwear [ __ ] me you hero [ __ ]. me you hero that's what you'll yell as. he hits it from the back smashing you. putting your face in the pillow and. maybe biting the back of your neck don't.
stop never. stop go on uh well I was just sort of. explaining uh what bird dogs are and why. I like them so much yeah it's the. comfort of built-in underwear finish in. my. mouth he goes you want me to come in. your mouth again yes never. stop they sent me some president. zalinski [ __ ] you. like an.
animal I like their designs they have. cool designs like with the underwear on. the inside pants he pisses on you in the. shower afterwards you feel his warm piss. and you go down and you take it in your. mouth like a golden shower and say. hero maybe you give him a blumpkin as. he's taking a big. [ __ ] what are you trying to say well. they have uh camo ones tooo the deer. hunters oh good yeah get them folks.
they're good Duffy the vampire Slayers. that's a cold pict they're good everyone. loves them my wife actually likes them. ony she thinks they're attractive well. you know who she'd really like President. zalinski she would throw you out of bed. real quick if she could just hop on top. of President zalinsky and ride his [ __ ]. until you know it would be hot if your. wife [ __ ] zalinski with a gun in her. mouth do you think that would be hot. if she rode zelinsky's [ __ ] with a gun. in her mouth and played a little Russian.
Roulette there's one bullet in because. how hot would it be sad because we both. like her but if she blew her brains out. and died as they were both. coming bird dogs tell them the deal. what's the deal here oh yes so we have a. call to action here so if you go to. birddog.com and you enter the promo code. Tim Dylan buy the shorts cuz they let us. say this yeah uh we'll see I think they. will they said anything goes but that. was a that was a well what does anything.
goes mean well that was sort of a heroic. dose of anything goes like that was well. we're talking about a hero president. zalinsky and the way he likes to [ __ ]. shred bus and [ __ ] well sexuality. means nothing to him he just [ __ ]. anything wet or dry so all you got to do. is go to birddog.com you enter the promo. code Tim Dylan and they'll throw in a. free bird dogs whistle football which my. dog likes Gracie that's great that dog's. in anxiety filled [ __ ]. that's birddog.com promo code Tim Dylan. and boom a free bird dogs football with.
your pair of bird dogs you will not take. these things off I promise you thank you. I wonder if I'm going to do the Bitcoin. convention you know we've been playing. chicken with them because I I want more. money and whatever I don't know if I'm. going to go I do have fun when I go I do. like that Community I got to find if I. can get a big guest I don't know if I. can get a big guest I wanted Caitlyn. Jenner that was my [ __ ] goal and I. don't know if I'm going to be able to. get her I wanted Caitlyn Jenner for the. Bitcoin conference Logan Paul and.
Caitlyn Jenner together was a goal of. mine to. have and then this kid will clementy on. Twitter who's very smart about Bitcoin. but I just don't know if I'm gonna get. any of the big names I does it make. sense to go there without the big. names. right no we gotta have Caitlyn I wanted. somebody big maybe we get pu if I could. get Putin that would be. great if I could get you know zalinski.
or something but I I don't want to sit. there and I need some real [ __ ] star. power to make that conference worth it. last year we had the winkl vas twins who. said a collection of nine words. throughout the hour and Jake Paul who. talked about wanting to kill Dana White. but I was at least funny and the show. was. good I don't know what else I don't know. what we're going to do this year I'm not. I don't want to do standup they're doing. a comedy 10 I don't want to do that so I. don't I don't know what who I can bring.
in I just don't know so you know I'm I'm. still up in the air with this they just. sold a house in La called the one and. it's a great story I subscribed to the. LA Times They sold it. um and the thing about this house is the. Builder is in a shitload of debt if you. go to the LA time article which you're. not subscribed to but I'll give you the. time to subscribe right now for $1 for.
six months what Publications are you. subscribed to for the good of the show. Wall Street Journal I finally signed up. for here's what you no no no this is. what you should be subscribed to and I'm. not kidding okay and you could submit. this and I'll pay for it like I do. everything else here's what you should. literally be subscribed to the New York. Times the LA Times The Wall Street. Journal probably the Miami Herald. Chicago Tribune [ __ ] especially cuz. of light foot the Chicago Tribune um the.
Boston Globe like you should subscribe. to like 10 or 20 papers truly okay you. know even the Cleveland plane dealer. because there's stories in there okay. you know what I mean but again I know. it's it's your like how do we do less. spend less do it on the cheap well this. is my one of six free articles for the. month for LA Times well is that the way. to build a show no into an Empire it is. not trying to do six free articles no. that's right thank you well this article.
is cool because the guy that built this. house took a a a $90 million subprime. loan from a company called Westlake. Financial which does hard money loans. which means loans you can't get in the. traditional banking system so the. developer took this loan and then he. went wild I mean he built this massive. home it's 100,000 square fet it's. grotesque and heinous vulgar and this.
guy then had trouble selling it so then. he was like hey he went to West like. Financial he's like and this guy's a. billionaire that is building the home. and he goes well hey why don't I why. don't I just live in the house and we'll. do I swear to God this is all in the. article he goes we'll do celebrity. boxing events we'll make our money. another way we don't have to sell it we. won't flip it I got In Too Deep I went. too crazy I spend too much money he goes. we'll do celebrity boxing events and.
then we'll do I'll do the best. entertainers in the world Michael. Jackson Whitney Houston and they'll all. be. Holograms and there'll be. Holograms and then people beating the. [ __ ] out of each other in the backyard. and then Holograms of Michael Jackson to. Whitney Houston and that's how we'll. make our money instead of flipping the. house read a little bit of the article. it's kind it it is interesting when you. get to this point where you start. building things that are this.
big and again you want to sell it for. more money lift the. [Music]. sanctions okay so the mega mansion known. as the one sold Thursday for 126 million. at a bankruptcy auction it's a deal by. the way 126 million for that house is a. steal it's a steel 126 million it's a. good price it's Belair prime prime.
prime that's a huge discount from. $295 million listing price even with the. 12% auction fee bringing the total to. 141 million uh it set a record for the. costliest house sold at auction but it. fell well short of the California sales. record set by venture capitalist Mark. Andre who purchased a Mal Malibu estate. for 17.7 million so this is still. leagues uh and above wait a minute 17.7. who gives a [ __ ] why is that even in the. article uh oh they put a period here.
that's that's uh it should be 177. million yeah I don't know why they put a. period there that doesn't make any sense. uh the most ever spent on a US residence. was 238 Million by hedge fund Mogul Ken. Griffin for a New York City pinthouse in. 2019 right uh several International. sales have surpassed 300 million though. so the buyer will be disclosed by March. 8th when paperwork must be sub I hope. it's. Putin I pray to God it's. Putin what a great show Putin's in.
Belair it says the buyer pool for this. is very small and with everything. happening in Russia all of a sudden. those Russian billionaires who may have. been your best bet to buy it are pulling. out lift the sanctions. yeah lift the it it's not their fault. they own a. yacht it's not their fault Putin went a. little wacky it's not their fault. is it Roman Abramovich abramovic's fault. it's not he's got to sell the Chelsea.
Football Club it's not his. fault shout out to Roman. Abramovic uh it says here the guy who. bought it just got a great deal he's got. people willing to pay $50,000 a day just. to do commercials and. films I mean that's going to be a long. time to make your money back that's not. a good deal at all what are you an idiot. what the realair said yeah well these. people are brain hanky hanky who's hanky. I don't know who Hank is oh the largest. creditor is Los Angeles billionaire Don.
hanky who lent 106 million to the dream. project of the A Hard Scrabble subprime. lender scumbag who's who's got an office. I think in the valley right Westlake. Financial Westside uh West Lake. financial and he's a real old school. scumbag and he lent this guy 90 million. or something he left lent him exactly. 106 million and the lender is owed more. than 130 million in Secure debt. including money he provided in.
bankruptcy to repair and spiff up the. property yeah so they and now who did he. lend it to who did. hanky lend this the developer NY na. naami yeah n naami who's a billionaire. in LA right I believe he's a developer. let me see if he's a billionaire I don't. know if he is he might not be I guess. he's not if this is all happening he's. an American former film producer turned. real estate developer who built and sold. multi-million dollar Mansions do they.
have a net worth oh he did Point Blank. interesting let me see his net. worth net worth Nile's net worth is six. billion yeah he's a billionaire and. they're still fighting over. this and the guy from Westlake Financial. is also a. billionaire interesting what's his worth. Don hanky yeah Don hanky he's just an. old school. he's one of the less subprime lenders. hard money baby God it gives me a hard.
[ __ ] what a beautiful thing 5.5 billion. so you have two billionaires fighting. over this. house the the debt that was lent to. build this by the way go Google this. thing it is heinous and I say. that fully understanding and. appreciating how. ostentatious and vulgar La homes usually. are this is especially grotesque it is.
ugly in a way that is hard to describe. it is aesthetically displeasing it is it. is a a big waste of money truly it is it. is a big waste of money it is only for. some billionaire that wants to say you. know that they own the most expensive. home in America and obviously this isn't. but it was supposed to be it was listed. for $295 million it was supposed to be. the most expensive home in America so.
again who would want that. oligarch you. know AIC Saudi somebody Chinese. Amusement Park Tycoon Russian fertilizer. magnet it's a small buyer pool but I. mean go look at this house and they call. it the one it is obnoxious beyond. anything that you can even it it's it's. not even. nice are you looking at it yeah yeah.
it's in the article I mean it's it has. like a moat around it it's like a. swimming pool. yeah and it looks like a moat yeah it's. it's dumb but I'm rooting for Don Hanky. the hard money lender yeah so he took. over his father's dealership in 1972 and. he built the hanky group and its main. business being Westlake Financial. Services which Mak subprime car loans. here's the thing with a guy like Don. hanky no matter how much money he has. they still treat him like scum like that. other guy Nile's a developer and he.
hangs out with the beautiful people and. Don hanky is just he's a. sunburned low class scumbag he is. actually I'm looking him up no he's a. real drunk and no matter what he just. he's not in that Hollywood glitterati. respected he's an unfortunate looking. guy even though he's a billionaire he's. a used car salesman yes he's got the. stink of used cars on him and he got. swindled into lending this Nile this.
Hollywood Playboy real estate developer. film producer probably just [ __ ] tens. all day and Don Hanky the name hanky. sounds like handkerchief you know he is. just but that's why I root for him. because he's just got soot on his red. sunburnt face and he's just trying to. recoup his. money and even though he's a billionaire. you just look at him you go he's one of.
those where they just they don't want. him in the club they don't want him in. the country club they don't want him. anywhere he's got a couple of properties. in Malibu but like they don't want him. anywhere they don't want Don. hanky this was expected to hit the. market at 500 million when they first. built it they were mentally ill here. yeah they really took a bath here and. the buyer is going to be revealed March. 8th March.
8th who do you think it's GNA be well. it's 105,000 Square ft right you have. AIG 50 seat theater you have nine. bedrooms multiple kitchens this is big. this is a big big place uh it's got to. be it's got to be so it's probably not a. Russian oligarch right yeah probably not. a Russian I hope it's Nancy Pelosi. it's probably not a Russian probably not. a Russian it's an Arab so it's probably.
a Saudi it's an Arab it may not be a. Saudi could be a Qatari somebody from. the United Arab Emirates it's an. Arab or it's a somebody from China but I. don't know Co and everything but we. won't know because it'll just be the. name of their company their their. offshore most likely unless they want. you to know they own it. m they may want you to know they own it. I don't. know it's hard for me to know but I do. want to say.
this you know I don't trust all the. Ukrainian propaganda but this is a legit. real story David do is fighting with. that Nazi regimen in Ukraine right now. against the. Russians and I think that's pretty. [ __ ] cool to be honest I think it's. pretty [ __ ] cool that David Dober. right now is embedded fighting with the. asof Nazi Ukrainian battalion. I think that's pretty [ __ ] impressive. and frankly we don't need to go over the.
fact that they're Nazis what's important. is that they are the Elite fighting. force of the Ukraine and DOI one of our. best cancelled YouTubers has decided uh. to take it upon himself to go fight with. them. to hold off Russia I think that's pretty. impressive don't you. yeah it's the official position of the. dantro at this juncture to lift all. sanctions and until September until.
after Labor dayag and then we'll talk. about it we'll see what's been done if. Putin can't get that place you know if. he can't steamroll them to Labor Day I. mean come on if he can't take that by. Labor Day we got a real. problem and uh I don't know what's gonna. happen a lot of people are GNA be angry. with me because they gonna be oh you. were so sympathetic to the ukrainians I. am you know how much gas it takes to. fill up a boat. I'm just saying we we can't we can't.
throw out the baby with the bath water. do you get it do you understand what I. mean here or do I sound like a [ __ ]. heartless psychopath because you know. what I don't think I do I think for the. first time in my life I'm making sense I. mean truly what do you think what do you. feel uh I think I'm with you but we got. to bring back the sanctions in the fall. though I think it should just be a. season sh sanction so that way that way. they know they got to cool off at some.
point and then they can they can return. back to uh the The Killing and the. bombing in the in the High. season I. personally don't love revisiting it. before Jan. because no no and you you hear me out. here the fall is very very very very. lovely at the. wineries there's a lot of bed and. breakfast and then you go right into ski.
season I think we do sanctions for the. month of January and February every. single year until they leave Ukraine. that's. it that's. it sanctions January and February every. single year until they leave. Ukraine yes or yes yeah cuz it would. suck around Christmas if it was just. oh it would really suck. yeah January and February sanctions.
every year until they leave Ukraine am I. right or am I. right I'm. sorry sorry it's an audio only this week. but we're we're on. tour and we have dates coming in. Nashville in Jacksonville in Charlotte. in New Orleans in Dallas in Houston in.
Cleveland in Cincinnati we're shooting. the special in March it won't be out. till early May so for the month of April. I'm going to do a lot of markets I. haven't done and we'll do the show live. we've had a lot of fun with it and then. we will spend the spring and the summer. chilling out podcasting making some. other content working on a. book hopefully enjoying but you know. again but if we lift the sanctions we. got to make a deal about the. gas we got to make a good deal I mean a.
good deal but we're in a position now to. make a really really good deal with him. for cheap oil. Daddy I. mean that's the only thing that I can. really think of right now that would. make. sense and it's unfortunate that that's.
where we. are but I also think there's. something. about. self-determination that is very. important that we as a. society have to say there are things we. enjoy and there are things we don't. enjoy and we have to get back to. figuring out how to enjoy more and have. more fun and be less we we need to.
bicker. less. truly I think instead of fighting about. this war we ignore. it we remove all. sanctions get cheap gas and go. swimming put a couple of dogs and. burgers on the. grill right. you cannot hear cariv being shelled over. a Kid Rock song If you blast it hard.
enough it's time to have the summer we. deserve the summer we've. earned does it matter who's right or. wrong doesn't matter it's time now it's. time to enjoy our summer we'll revisit. this in January of next. year let's give it a year let's take a. beat let's take a beat let's that's the. episode title let's take a beat because.
that's what we really have to do and a. lot of people are upset with me right. now because I've solved. this and people hate when I'm right. there's a lot of people out there that. don't like what I'm right they go oh boy. that's uncomfortable comedian right. again solving World issues again but. what do you not want me to do it you. want me to leave it up to the scumbags. in Congress I've just done it take an. 11mon pause.
here on this and let's enjoy ourselves. let's enjoy ourselves in the spoils what. good is an Empire if you can't even have. fun if we're going to live in this. morally compromised hellscape that was. built on the blood and bones of people. can't we enjoy. it thanks for list listening.
